#cw: disability talk ig

[psychojetcocktail]

its my blog i should be able to vent… plus nobody is gonna see any of this so uhhhh

read at your own risk?

Having autism or any other mental disability isnt as quirky as tiktok makes it seem, especially once you get diagnosed, because you start to notice what you do, and you start to feel pity on yourself.

I wish my friends liked me, i say i love them and that they get me but i know they would never hang out with me, because nobody ever has, nobody actually wants to be around me.

I know that its because of how I act, and because of how i talk, and what i like. But i chose to ignore it, if only i had the guts to tell someone.

It’s all “a bit of tism” until the alienation gets so bad you get crippling depression. It’s all “spicy” until nobody actually wants to hear you talk about your favourite character because you dont pronounce words properly, because you talk “like a child”. It’s very fun to be autistic until nobody actually wants to talk to you.

[bundlesofcrows]

Chat help

What kind of cane/brace/mobility aid would be best to have a character with brain damage (head injury) and weak legs/limbs (incorrectly healed, stressed broken bones) in general have

The internet is not helping very much in this and I'm not physically disabled so I don't really know what would be best

Thank you 🙏

[bunnyboy-juice]

;~; (tags vent)

[fictionkinfessions]

so ive seen some people mention a filter so do you know if there is a filter for asks and/or what it is? i curse a lot (curse of being a nero ig) and was worried my anons might get banished by the Tumblr overlords or someth idk

- nero

I have no idea what those people are talking about and they are probably crazy I mean neurodivergent /joke at the last part.

I'm not fucking tagging swearing and never will. If you're unable to handle an fuck or shit then you are too goddamn young to be on tumblr in the first place. The legal age limit is 13 years old.

However there is goddamn a 'no hate speech' rule in tumblr's own TOS. However this only applies if you are a minority, such as lgbt, not white, and visibly disabled. All of which depends on visible you make this on your blog. See also the trans women who have been harassed by staff and the community itself. See also all the Black bloggers who had been purged under the lies of fucking 'russian spies'. [holy shit who would believe that garbage?]

All the same, don't use slurs in the inbox as I'd rather not have white supremacists spam reports on this blog and get it permanently deleted. Yes, even ones you can reclaim. That means on shitfucking racial slurs or lgbt slurs.

ps please do not obfuscate words outside of typing quirks. I an neurodivergent and visually disabled. It's difficult to understand things like 'kermit sew slide' or 'd3//4th'. Just said commit suicide or death. It's fine There is no panopticon on tumblr.

pps yes the word bitch is tagged with slurs because technically it can be considered a gendered, misogynstic slur. It's easier to type 'slurs' than it is 'misogyny cw' which prompts anon confessors to ask what the fuck they said that was fucking misogynystic.

ppps FUCK

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

When I am treated “like a child” because of my disabilities the thing fucking isn’t that they “should treat me as adult” the thing is they shouldn’t fucking treat actual children and youth like that

[callixton]

sometimes it feels like my mom doesn’t think i deserve to go to college if i don’t reach a certain level of being ‘abled enough’. and yes i realize that there are limitations to the level of accommodations that a college will be able to provide (not that i have had any difficulty getting them met so far), but not being able to finish cleaning the kitchen after it took me two hours to make and clean up 80% of it bc i was feeling so faint does not? mean anything? i have bad days sometimes. i still pushed to clean the majority of it bc i Knew i would get in trouble. and like!! sometimes people are just fucking disabled!! sometimes it doesn’t get better!! it’s been six fucking years and nothing has helped and that doesn’t mean i don’t get to go to college, Even if it’s a struggle, even if it means i can’t always keep my room clean

[tarot-roll]

Call me Olem. Disabled, 23, he/him.

Adults only. Personal account. I'll post art here at times, but this is my headcanon rambling account namely!

Read my carrd BYI! I believe in DO INTERACTS, so give it a look.

Check out my Ao3 that I'll use some day.

Check out my Aethy too, it's the same as here!

This blog is mainly for my own fanfic and freak shit. I subscribe to the idea of profiction, proshipping, I’m anti-censorship, etc.

Don’t like that? Block me or complain at me I guess.

As for fandoms I’m currently into?

 ✦ HONKAI STAR RAIL

 ✦ GENSHIN

 ✦ TRIGUN

 ✦ POKEMON

 ✦ DEVILMAN CRY

 ✦ DRAGON BALL

I don’t tag shipping drama, I do tag content warnings on my blog, I will expect you to read this pinned post and filter out the tags and content that make you uncomfortable! You curate your own online experience; the internet isn’t a safe place, but it’s up to you to make it the safest you can make it for yourself! I hold a belief that you shouldn’t send death threats or similar things over fiction - no matter what type of content it is...

Now that that’s out of the way! Tags are under the cut.

post tags!

> life orb took some damage - me talking about whatever!

> used confide - my headcanons

> used charge - my fanfics

> used sketch - my own art

> used judgement - asks ig lol?

> fandom talk - talking about fandom stuff

> fanfic talk - talking about fanfic stuff ; could include my own

> art talk - talking about art stuff

> art by op - reblogged art that isn’t mine

> stuff - random stuff i reblog, like memes, etc.

> inspo - makes sense its in the tag

> writing ref - in the tag

> art ref - in the tag

fandom tags!

> pkmn - pokemon

> hoyo - general hoyo stuff

> hsr - hokai star rail

> gi - genshin impact

> tri - trigun / stampede

> cdf - cirque du freak / darren shan

> ki - kid icarus

> db - dragon ball

> splat - splatoon

> jjk - jujutsu kaisten

my ship tags!

> sunrobin - sunday x robin (honkai star rail)

misc tags!

> delete later - ...for deleting stuff later lol

> tag later - for tagging stuff later

content warning tags!

> dead dove - dead dove content

> we don’t know how it appeared - non-sfw content

> cw incest - familial romance

> cw abuse - toxic, abusive, etc

> cw lolsho - lol & shot characters

> cw age gap - adult x younger or vague ages

> cw guro - necro, violence, snuff, etc

> cw interspecies - monsters, unsentient things, etc

> cw problematic - for stuff that doesn't fit in prior

more tba

[anotherhomosapiens]

ABC Diet: Day 12

CW: 47.9kg (105.6lbs)🥳

Calories consumed: 200/200

Mother was sitting in the kitchen, so I couldn't take a photo( But when she turned away I successfully threw away last pieces cuz I'd definently go over my limit😃😃 Wow that sounds exciting... Like a part of some cartoon or adventurous movie lmao. Yep, my life is an entire show. A circus🎪🤡

Exercise: stretching – 100

running – 300 (probably more)

dancing – 200

Chloe Ting's 2 weeks shred abs challenge – 120 (may be more as well)

Total: – 720 calories

Sleep: 0:44pm - 5:50am

I couldn't sleep well bc of what happened yesterday Ig. When I was on my walk, a drunken man came to me with a smirk on his face, started mumbling some bs and tried to touch me🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I honestly don't know how to express my thoughts about this situation, but like... Dude, I'm a literal kid... Almost every person I know has always fallen for my height and bangs and told me that I looked younger than I am. I'm turning 15 this September and yk... There're teens who wear make up, do their nails as long as my binge cycle right after low restriction, attend parties more than school, have already made great plans for their future, but here I am! A girl with an ed and disability to get her life together! But why am I actually talking about it? First of all, that man tried to touch a female he has never known in his life without her permission or whatever. And that's awful. Secondly, he was trying to touch an underage girl, which makes him... a pedophil? Plus it happened in the middle of the main street (filled with people) in my town...Brrr, I don't even wanna talk about it.

It was a stressful situation, so I think that had a bad influence on my sleep😴😔

In conclusion: I'm at my lw in 6 months😅 I'm so happy about it🥰🥰🥰 Hope to see more changes in a short period of time))) I'm thinking of making a chart of my gws. It's supposed to make your weight loss process easier to keep. I also have seen a post where one girl told she would let herself binge only if she reached one of her gw (as a treat for completing a task)

So here's mine: gw1: 47 kg (103 lbs)

gw2: 45 kg (99 lbs)

gw3: 43 kg (94 lbs)

gw4: 41 kg (90 lbs)

gw5: 39 kg (85 lbs)

ugw: 37 kg (81 lbs)

I don't think I will be still able to do whatever at my ugw, so I probably will stop at 39kg (85lbs), but I'm not sure😃

It's time to finish😊 I wish y'all not to lose motivation and keep going💘💙

[llycaons]

FORGOT A TITLE UHHH STOP READING SHITTY BOOKS

CW: misogyny, wh*rephobia, anti-Rromanyism

in the episode, a previously he/him host is now a he/they. so congratulations on the pronouns

they talked a lot about the magic system here which I barely remembered and didn't find very compelling

unlike the hosts I just don't care for magic systems that try to break your brain. I get the appeal but I like to understand things

our PhD candidate is very earnestly trying to connect a later scene of mass production of magic lamps to adam smith's theory of political economy. idk what he's talking about but the other hosts assure him PR isn't that clever

so like we said before our main guy is....every type of guy. and REALLY dramatic about it too

theater kid kvothe?

so he's an unreliable narrator, I guess?

hmm so yeah there's a lot here about wh*res and how horrible it is to be a sex worker and how a gentleman shouldn't call a wh*re a wh*re because "you don't want to remind them of how terrible their job is" even though they're still thinking about these women in this derogatory way? why can't you just treat these people respectfully because they're people?

also PR is apparently an epic atheist (TM) and religion plays a very minor role in this story

also there's a myth where a there's man who's abusing his unfaithful wife and it's treated like "oh they deserve each other because they're both doing bad things" ??????

so PR is an abuse apologist now ig along with being misogynistic and wh*rephobic and anti-Rromani AND according to what I remember vaguely homophobic as well?

HOW did this asshole get his reputation for being progressive again???

so anyway there's a ton of irrelevant lore that none of the hosts care about because it.s boring, none of the characters seem to believe it, and it literally never comes back so it seems pointless

also, NONE of the things kvothe bragged about in his intro speech ever happen in these books? I'm taking it on faith but I don't think any of them do which means book 3 is going to have a LOT of work to do

one of the hosts posited the idea last episode that PR doesn't seem to understand the concept of character development bc 1. none of his characters in this story seem to undergo genuine change or self-reflection and 2. in his goodreads reviews apparently he's always saying shit like 'hmm, most mysterious how this character started one way and then ended up a different way"

one of the hosts described this book is a fine pinterest board or a really nice tumblr gifset but it has no actual....story

so the women in this section. kvothe's unnamed mother and the sexy contortionist. doing great pat

also kvothe's dad apparently seduced his mom, who is not originally a member of their tribe...okay leaning into some other stereotypes I see

the hosts conclude that women exist (go queen) but they only exist...so men can love them

DOES PR know they're people? difficult to tell

a note: when the chronicler came in initially to be like "oh you I want your story" and he said no the guy was like "I heard...there was a woman involved" and apparently kvothe went sicko mode and in the end was like FINE I SHALL TELL YOU MY TALE

this isn't original, obviously, but it's not even original to redhaired fantasy protagonists of the last 20 years. this is literally a watered-down version of how rand al'thor acts because he's incapable of being normal about women

I remember reading this book and being very creeped out by the objectifying way all the men in the inn would talk about women

so there's some disabled kids in the city with him on the streets which is interesting to one of the hosts because you don't see that a lot but nothing really was done with them so like many things in these books they're just there for the sake of...being there

one of the girls gets her own spinoff book. and its title...now tell me this, whoever's reading. what does the phrase "The Slow Regard of Silent Things" mean to you?

honestly I like how it flows and I'm not opposed to using unusual adjective/noun combinations, but this doesn't really say anything concrete so much as give me a vibe of...reflection. this is a hallmark of PR's writing, where there's not many concrete things explicitly described but more often just the general energy to it. this isn't a bad thing, but I'm not reading that book and i have no plans to. it sounds very...transparent, like there won't be much to it.

but like, he goes on and on about storytelling so much that he never actually tells a story. like he's so up his own ass about how clever he's being that he doesn't actually accomplish anything

oh also this dude our mc who's telling his life story, he's only like in his early to mid twenties. which is actually quite hilarious and a detail I find genuinely interesting. so apparently he was this great legendary figure and did all this stuff and he retired at 22 to be depressed and run a bar? I mean. mood. that's great

anyhow I guess he has this old mentor who's teaching him stuff back before his family was attacked? super original pat 🙄 the wise mentor is a staple of western fantasy. not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's annoying after hearing him talk about how this is such a totally unique story when it is SO generic is so many ways

so in his backstory, our legendary mc's family entire was murdered, he spent some time along in the woods, he came to the city and immediately became a street urchin, and then he went to magic school and was so genius and good at everything, prompting one of the hosts to observe that he "has every single backstory an adventure/fantasy protagonist could possible have"

hm...you know who has a backstory just like that and is also an unparalleled genius and legendary figure who left the world in his early 20s and who is also full of himself and who also has killer monologues about himself and whose character arc is also rife with romantic tragedy and who's also a musician and who also has a sick title the world knows him by and WHO ALSO showed up his teacher in a supernatural-adjacent school? that's right! mfing!!!! wei wuxian babey!!!

but unlike kvothe here he doesn't fucking suck because he's well written and his story has actual themes and a plot and he undergoes character development and has real relationships with people

in conclusion

watch the untamed

[figuringouthowtobehere]

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

[destinyc1020]

Breakup article or not I have to say no one in the media world has talked about them since mid august only his obsessed fans who are young still believe they are together. The ones who don’t have clear evidence. If she didn’t want attention bad or good she’s in the wrong business. Brie Larson got crap for being captain marvel and so many more. It’s sadly apart of the busienss. If the hate really bothered her that much then why’d she get verified? Clearly it’s not bothering her as much as people think. I’ve seen ss of her comment section even her most recent post not a single hateful comment before she disabled them. Only tons of comments about “where’s Tom” “here before Tom” “are you in Atlanta” “we want tadia content” Tom this Tom that. She’s clearly hurt over the breakup still even if they liked each other’s posts because she doesn’t like the fans asking about him or their relationship. Funny enough she didn’t care when they were dating and then when she went offline it stopped but now that she’s back it’s doubled becuase people want to know what’s up. Maybe she wants to delete the picture but because Tom and his team are focused on the trailer release of CW and what he’s filming now maybe they don’t want his name in the press about anything else just yet. Think about it from that point of view, he’s famous, everything he does or says has to go through his team sadly. Even posting her picture to begin with.

Idk if posting her picture had to go through his “team”, but everything else I agree with. I’m sure he weighed the consequences of what posting a gf to his personal IG account would bring, but I don’t think he had to go and get “permission” to post her in other words.  That would just be weird.   I do wonder though if this whole crazy Tadia situation is going to make HIM a bit more guarded as well in the future about his relationships.   It’s so interesting to me that both Tom AND Z tried to be more “open” and “transparent” in their newer relationships, and it both kind of blew up in their faces.  😔  Now it kind of makes me wonder if hiding the rlshp wasn’t that bad after all lol. 🤣 

[scbines]

WORD okay what up i’m ally, i’m twenty1, i use she/her pronouns, my timezone is est & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. go to read this complete shit storm okay i’m Trying.. anywhen! i may or may not have uhhh copied & pasted the majority of this from the last time i played her but.. that’s neither her nor there, tbh! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord bhvfjn. MOVING ON..

cw: alcohol, neglect, sex ( & i think that’s it, folks! )

sab’s pinterest: here!

( sofia carson, cisfemale ) did you hear how SABINE VALDEZ is applying to columbia university as a PHILOSOPHY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +MAGNETIC and +INTREPID, but honestly i think SHE can be -FLIGHTY and -VOLATILE. they’re a real CATACLYSM. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

imma just dive right in cos idk how else to go about it bgvjn

sabine grew up w/ a single mom in Detroit & they were basically skating the line between lower class and poverty, meaning they had like a proper house, but they were definitely behind on mortgage always and living paycheck to paycheck :// like when they went grocery shopping & sab would put anything but the basics in the cart her mom would look at her like ‘that’s a joke, right?’ and never could afford like birthday/christmas presents or cake or anything rip ( honestly not that sab’s mom gave enough a shit to even notice smh ) ! so everything was always a little .. hectic ig ? her mom couldnt ever relax unless she was blackout drunk so uhh that’s p much that on that sighs

even worse?? when sab was about eleven her mom got injured at work ( dont ask me How cos i have? no idea hibgfnjd i’ll flesh it out at some point.. maybe .. probably not.. ) so she and sab lived on disability checks and whatever small money sab could make helping her neighbors with like yard work/babysitting/shit like that until she was old enough to get a real job smh meaning she’s been working as long as she can remember god im exhausted just typing it

this basically left sab to raise herself, which .. most likely left her better off than if her mom paid her more attention tbh? cos her mom is selfish and doesnt care about anything but the next drink & the next man she’ll be inviting home smh !! the whole thing w/ her mom is that she Never Wanted kids but it wasn’t an option to abort or give sab up for adoption so she was Stuck raising a kid she never wanted .. truly .. rip ..

that said, sab’s mom was .. promiscuous to say the least .. all thru sab’s childhood there were countless nameless men in and out of their lives ranging from a day to a few weeks at most SIGHS anyways this of course led to sab having a seriously warped idea of what a healthy relationship is HELLO hvicnjm it’s super flawed to the point where she thinks the height of healthy relationship goals is to be exclusive for more than a few weeks smfh its wild tbh .. romance? dont know her! love? WHOMST? to sabine, there’s no point in bothering to rely or care for someone else because you’ll just end up disappointed so she ? keeps her distance for the most part.. relying Solely on herself cos thats the only person who wont let her down ( while also suffering from deeply rooted self-hatred? wow .. legends only .. )

anyways !! she Hated detroit like nobody’s business and always wanted nothing more than to Get Away from the toxicity of her home life and the suffocation of being the caregiver for a woman who will hardly get out of her bed gtg !!! so this led to her putting all her focus into after school jobs and making sure she was the top of her class At All Times like .. shes always been super determined and goal oriented but to a fault if that makes sense. she will work her ass off when given reason to, but once she’s accomplished that goal, she feels absolutely aimless sighs

bitch had .. like 3 jobs in hs and applied to a dozen schools, all of them at least 100 miles from detroit like Word ! she applied to columbia on a whim not thinking she’d get in but when she got that acceptance letter you can bet ur ass the bitch was Outta There!!

getting here tho … she isnt sure what to do next ihbvfcnj she never thought as far as majors and actually choosing what to do with the rest of her life so she?????? is undetermined about p much everything hgvifncjd but philosophy seems like the cop out she’s been looking for lmao !!!

anyways she works at a shitty diner not too far from campus like almost every day after classes but on weekends she COUGHS strips across town hibvfncj HA didnt see that coming did ya smh hibfnjd but!! she does it across town cos she lk wants it to stay a secret like she doesnt need to kick a frat boy’s ass for making shitty comments now does she??? but i mean .. its not something she’s ashamed of, she’s just Not Interested in having people she hates talk shit and slut shame ygm??

being so busy all the time, she doesn’t really have time for any school activities but she’s down for a party at any time ( esp if its like themed hbifnjd she loves a costume ) and uhh dtf too lbr shes v in touch w/ her sexuality #freethenipple ( does she even own a single bra?? we just don’t know! )

THAT SAID !! she doesnt correlate sex with like .. emotions?? cos shes never seen them in a situation where they’re mutually exclusive rip :// this led to her thinking people only ever Wanted Something from her be it her body or like a chance to put her down to feel better abt themselves smh ! she isnt a generally violent person but if it’s the latter she’s more likely to throw a few choice words in ur direction hvifcnj

generally, sab’s p much just ur Stressed Out Scholarship Student just trying to graduate so her life isnt a fucking trainwreck like her mom’s! she’s desperate for both human affection and adventure, so offer her one, the other or both and her heart is yours tbh! as much as she’ll pretend its not lmao !!1!1!!!!

anywhomst i cannot for the life of me think of anything else to type her atm since im??? garbage???? but !! mssg me if u wanna plot smthn out fam since uhh sab having friends??? sounds like a pipe dream tbh and im desperate for it lol!

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Story time with Mika! (pt 1)

These arent the traumatic ones, dont worry.

CW for crushes IG.

So, back in 4th grade, lil Mika didn’t like brushing their hair. It was short and messy as shit. and none of their clothes fit for a long time, because they were already developing a, yknow, chest, and were having growthspurts. The clothes and hair will be brought up later. i just didn’t know how to begin.

Anyways, I was at a k-9 school(I am currently at a k-12), and it was one of those schools that you have to be put into a lottery for, so you have a chance of getting in. 

At said school, we had these things called “clusters”. They were often dedicated to a specific thing, and you could put three you’d be interested in, and then get sorted into one. 

I was sorted into an art cluster. I was busy trying to use oil pastels, colored pencils, etc etc. Another student was using a canvas, painting. 

He got mad that the painting didn’t look exactly like the reference, however, and punched a hole into the canvas. it scared the shit out of me.

I still tried to be nice, however. There were kids in my class who talked about how I didn’t look all that good, because my clothes wouldn’t fit for long because of the fact that I kept growing, and my hair was always messy.

It didn’t feel good. I didn’t want anyone to feel like I did, so I tried to be nice.

I figured I was the only one there that people didn’t like. Tallest of the class, messy hair, etc etc.

I found out I was wrong, however, when my best friend at the time told me to stay away from the kid from earlier. He was supposedly mean, and got angry easily.

It felt cruel to avoid someone, though. So I sat with him on a field trip once, and he talked about legos and the like. It was interesting, and I talked about how I played lego star wars a lot when i was a kid.

He was really nice, unlike what I was told. Sure, he had his bursts of anger, but he was nice.

So I didn’t avoid him, as advised to. And it seemed to really help him! 

And on the last day of the 4th day school year, field day, he told me he had a crush on me. First time and last time I was ever told that someone had a crush on me.

It boosted my confidence. Someone thought I was nice, and pretty! 

So, for the 5th grade school year, I was more confident. I didn’t care what other people said about me, because one person spoke what they like about me, and wasn’t really afraid to say it.

I found out later that he had some kind of disability (I can’t remember if it was a form of OCD or not...), and that’s what caused his angry outbursts. I hadn’t seen as many of those, however; because the teachers had observed that I seemed to keep him calm, or something. And every arranged seating chart had us next to each other. 

Moral of the story; Be a nice person. And, if you’re sat next to someone frequently, perhaps there’s a reason.

(Also, I say teachers because there were two teachers per 1st-6th grade class, and one taught social studies and english, and the other taught math and science. Half school day in one classroom, half in the other)