#cw mention of rape

[time-woods]

This was such a simple moment, an extremely easy to miss one as well. Considering it was a Half-light passive check that  had a difficulty pass of 13 and level 7 to even show up. Not to mention how easy it is to tip-toe around the subject. When i got this in my playthough it was raining, that HL check sent a shiver down my spine, HL is important to me, for personal reasons. Half-light is your fight or flight, it wants to keep you safe no matter the consequences. HL is often seen as aggressive because of this, i didnt even realize it represented your fight or flight until later. its no wonder why harrys fight or flight is so active, this is his first time in months, maybe even years that hes been actually present in the moment. The world is no longer a haze, hes able to actually process his surrounding and half-light is on edge of every little thing because of this.

Now i realize that this line could be interpreted in many ways. like maybe in reference that being a cop youve seen shit like this, but in that case- wouldnt esprit de corps pitch in? maybe you are just sympathizing because you know stuff like this happens- but wouldnt that be empathy? its extremely important that half-light is the one to chime in here, and so simply too, its not aggressive, its not violent, its stated so matter of fact-ly. You may not remember what happened to you, and sometimes you dont even want to push for more information, sometimes its best to just leave it forgotten. such a simple line that means so much, its not even lingered on, just a fear that claws at your back waiting for you to scream.

the line for those unaware (cw mention of rape):

YOU-"Are you sure you weren't raped?"

Klaasje-"I'm 89% sure."

YOU-"So you're not entirely sure?"

Klaasje-"You know how it is."

HALFLIGHT- You do know how it is. [Difficulty pass- 13 (Formidable | Level 7)]

[elia-nymmeros]

Cersei and her vision of ruling

I waited, and so can he. I waited half my life. She had played the dutiful daughter, the blushing bride, the pliant wife. She had suffered Robert's drunken groping, Jaime's jealousy, Renly's mockery, Varys with his titters, Stannis endlessly grinding his teeth. She had contended with Jon Arryn, Ned Stark, and her vile, treacherous, murderous dwarf brother, all the while promising herself that one day it would be her turn. If Margaery Tyrell thinks to cheat me of my hour in the sun, she had bloody well think again.

I love thinking about Cersei and her inefficient and ultimately doomed attempt at ruling because, beyond her faults and terrible traits as a person, she simply does not offer any valuable incentive towards anyone who wishes to follow her, as opposite to other contestants (something that I think 100% comes from Tywin), and any attempt at ruling would've failed sooner or later.

Edit: added some quotes to show some examples and tweak some stuff!

From AGoT all the way through her PoVs in AFfC, one of Cersei's main characteristics both in her personal approach to other people and in the way she tackles ruling is that she believes she's entitled to power and she's entitled to be treated as superior both as a Lannister and as the queen regent of Westeros. She routinely dismiss and berates people with lesser social power and status, she despises people who try to 'take liberties' and who don't treat her as an untouchable regent, and she's willing to hurt, torture and kill anyone who she considers a threat to her claim to rule. I personally think it's understandable that she's paranoid about traitors and people who have double intentions about her and Tommen —especially considering that in AFfC she literally just saw her son die in her arms by poison— but her problem is that she's a bad judge of character, she's been flawed in how she interprets other people's actions since AGoT, and she's incapable of adequately judging who is on her side and who is a bad option for an ally (see for example her thinking that Kevan was a traitor when he made good criticism about her as a ruler).

"The next Hand will know his place, she promised herself. It would have to be Ser Kevan. Her uncle was tireless, prudent, unfailingly obedient. She could rely on him, as her father had. The hand does not argue with the head. She had a realm to rule, but she would need new men to help her rule it. Pycelle was a doddering lickspittle, Jaime had lost his courage with his sword hand, and Mace Tyrell and his cronies Redwyne and Rowan could not be trusted. For all she knew they might have had a part in this. Lord Tyrell had to know that he would never rule the Seven Kingdoms so long as Tywin Lannister lived." AFfC, Cersei I

For me, a very hard truth about Cersei is that she absolutely suffered physical and sexual abuse from Robert, and she did not deserve neither this nor her perpetual objectification by pretty much every men in her life, but this simply does not make her entitled or eligible as a ruler by default. By Westerosi laws —which are undoubtedly misogynistic and unfair to women no matter their ability to rule— her claim as a Queen regent comes by her marriage to Robert and her sons (which are supposed to be Robert's blood). Since she decided to go all girlboss about it and put the two sons who clearly did not have Robert's blood on the throne, she actively harmed their claim and her own, and she literally created a succession crisis by having the bad luck of marrying the one family with strong genes and zero chance of having blondes in their family tree.

But let's say, alright, put the clearly Lannister boys on the throne anyways, kingship is a social construction and the Baratheons didn't really have any more intrinsic claim to Westeros than the Targaryens other than military might, fuck it; the obvious question is, what am I offering my subjects so that their support is rewarded and their loyalty is secured? This is something that, in some way or another, is answered by the other pretenders in the War of the Five Kings, even if it's in a limited capacity and with very dubious intentions: Robb offers a rule from, by and to the Northern people that takes into account their wishes and reclaims, and also offers the people of the Riverlands justice and protection; Balon offers the Ironborn a new, revitalized rule over the islands and surrounding land with the Old Way which he claimed would improve the life of his people; Renly and his alliance with the Tyrells came with the prosperous wealth of the Reach and offers of food, pardons and a generous rule by a charismatic ruler mimicking Robert's long peaceful reign. Stannis, by contrast, is the one who pushes his claim solely by his rights in Targaryen dynastic succession (if the king dies with no legitimate children, the crown should go to the next eldest brother), and we see over and over throughout the saga that this isn't enough to secure his claim, that a ruler should also fulfill their rights as a protector if they wish to be followed, that he was demanding loyalty and obedience without offering something in return and that this won't give you support no matter how legal is your claim.

"If not for my Hand, I might not have come at all. Lord Seaworth is a man of humble birth, but he reminded me of my duty, when all I could think of was my rights. I had the cart before the horse, Davos said. I was trying to win the throne to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne." ASoS, Jon XI

Compared to all this, Cersei (and Joffrey by extension, because she encourages in him what she believes are good traits for a king) simply did not have anything to offer precisely because they live under the illusion —once again coming from Tywin— that they have the intrinsic right to power and ruling simply because they're Lannisters and they should be obeyed because of this. This would be a normal thing to believe in a normal, regular dynasty —for example, I doubt Aegon IV or Viserys I or Maekar I were particularly thinking about what they could offer to their subjects, they simply gained power because they were part of a royal lineage where a Targaryen man inheriting the throne was expected— but Joffrey's claim came from a break of this succession, and Robert justified his reign both by being the descendant of a Targaryen and also because he offered Westeros peace, protection, justice and mercy if you'd been in the wrong side of the war.

""It is, Your Grace," Lady Merryweather agreed. "The High Septon should have come to you. And these wretched sparrows . . ." "He feeds them, coddles them, blesses them. Yet will not bless the king." The blessing was an empty ritual, she knew, but rituals and ceremonies had power in the eyes of the ignorant. Aegon the Conqueror himself had dated the start of his realm from the day the High Septon anointed him in Oldtown. "This wretched priest will obey, or learn how weak and human he still is."" AFfC, Cersei VI

A lot can be said about Robert's rule and what he did right and wrong, but I think one can admit that he was a man capable of pardoning his enemies' lives unconditionally (think Barristan, Balon, Jaime), he put down disagreements and fights without sending someone to be tortured to death, and traditional customs in Westeros were respected —Aerys' rule was contested precisely because he broke the right of nobles to have a trial. Cersei doesn't simply ignore all this, being particularly vicious, cruel and spiteful to her enemies/rivals even after she supposedly made peace with them, but nothing about her rule is about anything except her and her wishes: if there's a scarcity of food, then she hoards everything to herself; if there's danger to the city, she hides herself and withdraws her resources and fuck the rest of the population, noble or not; if someone comes from the rival side wanting to join their cause, then they're suspected traitors who sooner or later will be put to death; if someone says a criticism about her actions, whether genuine or not, then that person is a traitor who sooner or later will be put to death; everyone is her enemy and everyone wants her power for themselves and nobody can ever be trusted because nobody is as smart, capable, worthy and deserving of power as Cersei is.

"It took the rest of the flagon before the queen was finally able to coax the whole sad tale out of Lady Falyse. Once she had, she did not know whether to laugh or rage. "Single combat," she repeated. Is there no one in the Seven Kingdoms that I can rely upon? Am I the only one in Westeros with a pinch of wits? (...)" AFfC, Cersei VII

"Taena had drifted back to sleep by the time the queen returned to the bedchamber, her head spinning. Too much wine and too little sleep, she told herself. It was not every night that she was awakened twice with such desperate tidings. At least I could awaken. Robert would have been too drunk to rise, let alone rule. It would have fallen to Jon Arryn to deal with all of this. It pleased her to think that she made a better king than Robert." AFfC, Cersei VII

Since she doesn't care about feeding her subjects, protecting them from harm, enacting fair and genuine justice to those who need it, improving the physical infrastructure of the realm, honoring debts to foreign entities and previous agreements to other nobles, or at least diminishing the economic problems left by Robert's rule, then she (and once again, Joffrey and Tommen by extension) literally has nothing to offer anyone who wishes to follow her. She doesn't make even the attempt to pretend she cares about any of this by the time we get to AFfC, like Renly once did in ACoK, precisely because she has the mistaken and very dangerous belief that she's owed obedience and deference and the right to rule over an entire continent, and that people should somehow be grateful to obey her no matter how shitty and depraved and harmful she is to them and their families.

""The realm is at war. His Grace has need of every man." Cersei did not intend to squander Tommen's strength playing wet nurse to sparrows, or guarding the wrinkled cunts of a thousand sour septas. Half of them are probably praying for a good raping. "Your sparrows have clubs and axes. Let them defend themselves."" AFfC, Cersei VI

"When the door closed behind them Cersei poured herself another cup of wine. "I am surrounded by enemies and imbeciles," she said. She could not even trust to her own blood and kin, nor Jaime, who had once been her other half. He was meant to be my sword and shield, my strong right arm. Why does he insist on vexing me?" AFfC, Cersei VII

All of this is remarkable precisely when put in contrast with Dany, because both of their ambitions to the throne come from their belief that they're entitled to the throne above any other consideration, and both of them had little experience ruling before their ascent to power and are continuously doubted/criticized because of their gender, but what sets Dany apart is her willingness to learn from others and take care of the people who follow her. Despite all the troubles that ADwD have brought her, Dany has always been characterized by someone who attempts to protect others and is prepared to hear her subject's opinions and make actual efforts to improve their lives; many of us root for her precisely because she makes a genuine effort into being a good and fair ruler to her subjects even when she fails, even when she makes wrong choices, even when she falls short of her goal. One of the main problems in her journey has been the question of how can she become a legitimate ruler in the eyes of the Westerosi people, and she rightfully understood that she needed to offer something in exchange for loyalty, just like Stannis did.

""There's much I don't understand," Davos admitted. "I have never pretended elsewise. I know the seas and rivers, the shapes of the coasts, where the rocks and shoals lie. I know hidden coves where a boat can land unseen. And I know that a king protects his people, or he is no king at all."" ASoS, Davos VI

"Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" ASoS, Daenerys III

I believe that the fact that Cersei doesn't ever comes close to this realization doesn't just steam from her natural self-centredness, propensity to cruelty and repeated trauma in the hands of the men in her life, but precisely by the vision Tywin had about himself and house Lannister. At the end of the day, Cersei mimics not only what Tywin himself believes about their house (that they're superior, wealthier, worthier and morally above everyone else, even other noble houses), but also how Tywin behaves as a political actor (making deals in bad faith and not fulfilling them, mistreating children, women and disabled peoople, using extreme violence as a form of correction and coercion, following no moral guidance or innate beliefs other than what benefits them in the short term, etc.). They're not the only ones who exhibits this behavior (Bronn, for example, is just as self-serving and violent as them), but House Lannister, and Tywin, Cersei and Joffrey in particular, are definitely some of the most powerful and influential people in Westeros thanks to their military might and economic power, which amplifies the consequences of their selfishness to... quite scary levels.

[cry-ptidd]

Hoi Nev if you're still doing oc questions If i may ask what inspired Laura's lycanthropy? Did you want to explore werewolves in Hellsing? Or do you just really like werewolves?

An interesting question, I don't actually know!

I think the idea of the beast of Gévaudan just came to me one day while I was making her. Laura was supposed to be an albino vampire at first, the name coming from the protagonist of Carmilla (1872). The idea just came to me one day and I decided to invoke my past autism from middle school and make something with the beast. Maybe it's because I wanted the character to be able to phase through walls and I remembered that werewolves could become intangible in the Hellsing verse. Sadly we don't have much lore about them in canon.

As a character, Laura's lycanthropy is both a symbol of both her assault and her vengeance, as well as her trauma. It's a double edged sword type of metaphor where it's the source of her problems but also gives her unimaginable strength that allows her to defend herself (and harm). I hope I wrote her character well, people seem to like her.

Also, asks for her are open! I wanna revive this blog a bit so I'll answer questions about her character. I might not be able to draw every response though, im still recovering from a major burnout.

[bittersweetbark]

Show me 100 reasons why you love Emhyr, because I also love him……A LOT.🤲😽😽

This is a big ask :D

I don't know if there are 100 reasons or even one - love knows no reason, it happens. 😌 There are no arguments and no case to make, but there are lots of things I go mushy about because he's the blorbo of my heart:

He was tortured as a child and now is a ruthless powerhouse but in between he didn't just break but was a young man with a questionable sense of humour and a wild abandon of properness. Yes I'm milking the leg over the armrest thing but come on: he apparently waltzed back into Nilfgaard like a mad king. Then gave himself the most pompous and ridiculous title ever. That's not someone who takes the whole thing serious. Having an edgelord on the throne isn't that great of course, but I think underneath his schtick he's also brittle.

This is headcanon territory but he had that whole faction who wanted him on the throne, not only backing him but pushing him. They found him in his exile and - forgive me for using the word but here it fits - groomed him into The Legitimat Heir. I think he had no healthy sense of self, he saw himself as a monster and then was given a purpose. So that throne is the core of his self-worth, him being the emperor has become all he thinks he is in the course of the years.

And - I've gushed about it before - he's ruthless against himself. He's learned some things have to be done, regardless how horrible, they just need to be done, and he's learned that the individual (himself) can survive them, so you'll bite down and think of Nilfgaard when you're raped or have to impregnate your daughter or whatever. In theory. When it's just "being hard against himself". Then he sees Ciri, the person, crying, being a whole human being and his daughter: he can't. Doesn't take long, a few sentences, then he crumbles, packs up his army and goes "kthxby let's forget about this, let the world save itself another way or be doomed, whatever, not doing this". (That is a core moment of my appreciation for his character.)

I also love the face CDPR gave him, and his massive frame, and his nose and his moles and his nose and that he looks like a sexy, disgruntled bird of prey. He looks like he'd be a very sexy smoker. He's so very grumpy! He's Done With This Shit . He looks like he dances from the hip like a Southern European uncle who gets his moves out at a wedding when he's tipsy. He smells amazing. :)

[punks-never-die205]

Kid is always portrayed as someone who is brutal, violant and rapes women😑 is there a small chance he could be soft and romantic? 💕

... If you could see the face I'm making right now.

I... I have to assume you saw a Kid Pirates coded blog and just sent in an ask without reading anything?

... including the manga?

I want to clarify, I'm not angry - I'm all for people being free to ask what they please as they please, I'm just confounded. I think you're getting fanon/headcanon garbled with canon.

Let me do my best to stick to canon for a moment - we hear terrible things about the Worst Generation pre time-skip. Everyone has a reputation.

Including Luffy and his crew - the information the marines have on the Straw hats, and what they share to the world, is very negative. The only thing that saves Luffy is that, well, he's Luffy - he's not going to lean into any reputation, he's not even paying attention in the first place.

So people see some farm boy in flip flops and think --- Canonically, that Zoro has to be the Captain. It's a running gag.

Now Law and Kid both seem to have leaned into the reputation the marines have given them. (I could stretch this out to the entire worst generation, but I don't want to write that much).

We know Luffy's reputation is bullshit. We've learned Law's reputation, despite him trying to lean into it and convince people otherwise, is crap.

It makes sense that Kid's would be crap too - and let me be clear, I still think he's the most ruthless of the three. Kid strung up a pirate crew on crosses at the very least.

But to my point, we don't ever actually see him level some random civilian town for shits and giggles. We don't see any of the other stuff the marines say he's notorious for - all we do know is that the marine propaganda against pirates would (and, from the marines' point of view, should) be skewed in the marine's favor.

No government wants people to be sympathetic to their biggest problem, and some crews most certainly do the work for them - we're 100% aware of truly cruel and wanton pirate crews.

Luffy beats the shit out of most of them.

Anyway, my vibe on the Kid Crew is that they aren't all that big and bad - they're not nice, by any stretch of the word, but I think they are just as in character as pirates who string other pirates up on crosses as they would be pirates who help a shore-side town rebuild after a tsunami or storm flattened it.

Why for the second one? These guys grew up on a neglected island - the people might have been angry, and rough, and intimidating, but the junk heap of an island still have life on it. You can't survive harsh conditions without community, no matter how grumpy and snappy that community might be.

Makes me think of that one town in Fire Force - level the town in celebration, spend the next day rebuilding.

Anyway, none of Kid's behavior in Wano - the point where we actually get to see it for a good long while - points to some mindlessly ruthless piss of a human going around and terrorizing people for no reason. We see a guy who works together with people, going beyond what he needs to, to then cheer on the twink stealing his kill, and to celebrate peacefully afterward.

Sure, sure, recovery, but when Kid saw Luffy's new bounty and title he didn't exactly put a whole lot of effort into that "attack". Especially not after we saw what he could do if he dug his heels in.

It points to a guy leaning into a reputation that doesn't really mesh with him. But also, Luffy is Luffy.

Anyway, that's my answer.

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

Hi hi back again with more questions for the SK boys (cause it's stuck in my head 24/7)

So let's say they have several targets on their list, is there a priority list on who to off first?

Example: would a child r**ist have a higher priority to be disposed as compared to a parent that commits domestic violence to their child? (Ima just say at this rate, that majority of the questions I have yet to ask all require trigger/content warnings)

Not a question and I'm unsure if it has already been pointed out, but on the 1st SK fic/story you posted, one of the tags is '#cw tortrue' and not '#cw torture'. Hopefully that can be edited

Thanks for answering these questions! I love the way you 2 (I think there's 2 ppl working on this au?) think! Each answer making me think about more potential situations the boys might find themselves in and how they would go about getting out of it.

-beep boop.

It's hard to say whether or not they actually prioritize one abuser above others. In their eyes, all of them are equally terrible and deserve to be punished. So we suppose it would depend on what kind of situation the child is in, and how high they are at risk of being in severe danger.

There's a child r**ist in town? Instant target, must be dealt with immediately. If a child ends up injured or hospitalized as a result of abuse, then the boys will act quickly. Sadly some cases for them require more observation and waiting if the abuse isn't an "active threat", which can unintentionally result in the situation getting worse. And they vow to never let it happen again.

So we guess yeah, they would prioritize some cases, however they are still going to help every child they can. Even ones whose situations may not be "as bad". Abuse is abuse and it is something they will never tolerate.

And thank you for pointing out the spelling mistake! It has been corrected!

[chaosclover1999]

political fandom take: hazbin hotel edition

1 of the things i hate most abt hazbin hotel isn't even the actual episodes or anything like ik that ppl r saying that it's like sparkledog oc writing and like yeah it is but that isn't objectively good or bad or inherently political in any way it's just down 2 personal preference

no my issue is w the marketing and the fact that twice now the marketing has been reliant on the sexualisation of Alastor who is canonically a sex repulsed asexual, im not ace personally (although i did previously identify as ace, long story) so i can't really speak to the experiences of people who r ace and sex repulsed, w that being said tho even i can c as an alloaro how disrespectful this is 2 the ace community

1st it was the sexualisation of Alastor by putting him in non canon sexual situations w Angel Dust in which Angel Dust was portrayed as being very pushy and not respectful of Alastor's boundaries, this is bad 4 a number of reasons

1) using the radio dust ship 2 market the show 2 fans even tho Alastor is sex repulsed and would not b happy in these situations

2) portraying a character who is a hypersexual SA survivor as being handsy and not taking no 4 an answer and acting like ppl who r hypersexual would sexually abuse others by nature of being hypersexual

this is smth that i can speak 2 more from personal experience and this is literally y i hate the radiodust ship and the hunicast hazbin hotel streams so much, like believe it or not it is possible 2 b a horny mf-er w/out assulting or harassing ppl, it's rly not that difficult

3) Angel Dust doing this is not portrayed as a bad thing and this is in fact portrayed as a joke meaning that the stream is making jokes about men being sexually assulted and not just that but specifically a hypersexual gay man sexually assulting an asexual man

like do i even need 2 explain this? we got:

- the idea that gay men r forcing gay sex on men who r not into them

- sexual assult of men played 4 laughs

- the idea that hypersexuals who r SA survivors/victims of SA would then assult ppl by nature of being hypersexual

- an asexual man being sexually assulted and it being played 4 laughs which is especially bad given that ace ppl often hav 2 deal w threats of corrective rape or worse actually being raped

so yeh i hate the hunicast hazbin streams and tbh idk y ppl like them, it's mostly just the VAs encouraging the fans 2 send them money 2 make awful jokes abt Alastor getting assulted by Angel Dust in a way that's played off for comedic effect

the reason im bringing this up is bc apparently there was recent promo art where the marketing was jokingly mentioning the radioapple ship and tbh im kinda glad they had 2 take it down bc of backlash bc i feel like if it hadn't been stopped it would've just been more ""jokes"" abt a sex repulsed asexual man getting sexually assulted by another man but this time from the in universe king of hell

like srsly can we pls stop making this the main marketing technique? like i know we all talk abt how the fandom is bad when it comes 2 sexualising Alastor but i never rly c any1 talk abt how the promo techniques definitely played a hand in this and the normalisation of these things within the fandom

[nat-20s]

Just thought to myself "can't women have a bad time in fiction without rape being involved" which really shows you how much you're in the fucking trenches if you are both a horror fan and women fan

[vizthedatum]

The Furious Incineration After the Betrayal in Over a Decade of Friendship (2024)

(You can read the poem, stylized, on Instagram here) --

Over a fucking decade, I loved you so much,

A friendship I thought would never end.

But let me get to my long-winded point, entirely in touch:

You're a nightmare dressed as a best friend.

You spiral into self-centered chaos, completely unhinged,

Undiagnosed on purpose, dysregulated, and selfishly toxic.

Your love – a performance barely fringed,

Your actions: privileged and catastrophic.

And you, you privileged piece of trash,

Threw away my rent check on a whim.

February 2023, a Texas visit's shame,

My March rent-check envelope stamped, ready to mail,

To support your breakup, I loyally came.

You insisted on driving me to the post office under a "caring" veil.

"Can't you pay online?" you had scoffed with disdain.

I explained my landlady's old-school ways,

So you offered to drive, a kindness feigned in vain,

Exposing a ruse that would haunt me for countless days.

You spiraled about some random guy's digital interface,

A dating app match, now probably long forgot.

You handed me your phone, and I negotiated dates with grace,

While you "mailed" my check - or so I thought.

Later, my landlady called, rent check not received,

My world upended, stability gone.

You gaslit, denied, and shamelessly deceived,

Our friendship? I realized too late, forever done.

That hellish March week, more trauma piled high,

My autistic mind in overdrive with absolutely no rest or respite.

Job-hunting, side-hustling, barely getting by,

Defenses low and then raped by my girlfriend's husband,

who wanted to keep both of us oppressed.

Meltdowns erupted, friendships crumbled fast,

Regret still stings for bonds I couldn't save.

My soul subdued in a nightmarish cast,

Leaving me trapped in a mental enclave.

Doctor by title, fraud by nature's decree,

Prestige and parental pressure, seemingly your only guides.

Your stethoscope: deaf to humanity,

Your prejudice and arrogance, amongst your masked bedside manner, slip through the divides.

Homophobic jokes, transphobic sneers abound,

Your racism: a festering, putrid stain.

You scorn the homeless, curse Spanish translators around,

In Texas, where diverse tongues have rightful domain.

"My dad died," your perpetual battle cry,

In your twisted Struggle Olympics game.

Others' traumas you readily deny,

You wear your grief like a badge of fame.

Remember December 2022? My new start's light?

After fleeing violence, homelessness at bay.

You saw my progress on Facebook and felt small in spite,

Your insecurity, a trait you don’t want to work on, on full display.

Eighteen hundred, given in secret shame,

A donation hidden from all your kin.

Did you tell them of my hardships' claim?

Or was your silence another sin?

You donated, not through GoFundMe my friends did create,

But a private transaction known to few.

While I was healing in a fragile state,

You called, complained, then demanded anew.

"How can I help?" you asked, two-faced and sly,

After indirectly begging for your donation's return.

"Share my GoFundMe," I said with a sigh,

You refused, lest your image burn as much as your fake "concern."

Months later, after your own breakup's toll,

I came to support you despite my pain.

My mother hospitalized and sick, even with her abusive control,

Yet I showed up for you, my own healing on hold again.

Three grand returned, a move born of pride,

To pay you back for a decade of false gifts.

No mention of my love, my gifts, or the times I tried.

Our friendship reduced to monetary transactions and rifts.

You, with your wealth and family support,

Couldn't see beyond your gilded cage.

While I struggled, of poverty the sort,

You wallowed in your entitled rage.

"I need a new car!" you whined and cried out,

Your newer model still running just fine.

A week later, my junker gave out,

With the duct-taped trunk and bad alternator, another pitiful sign.

You spiraled endlessly, used us all,

Friends and family – your pseudo-shrinks.

Your empathy, superficial and small,

As fragile as fine china that clinks.

I tried to explain, to bare my soul's plight,

About poverty, violence, being trans.

"What would you do if you were at zero?" I asked outright,

"I'd never let that happen," you grandstand.

You criticized me at my lowest low,

Complaining about your petty demands.

Yet you sought out my empathy, as though

I had the strength to meet your reprimands.

Your love was never real, just a façade,

A transaction, a way to feel good.

You couldn't handle my unmasked guard,

My autism and my queerness, all misunderstood.

Boundaries crossed, jokes soured with time,

Your "straight" identity, a flimsy shield.

Unwanted and attempted kisses, weird sexual comments sublime,

Our friendship's trust, broken before your betrayal was revealed.

"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT LUXURY APARTMENTS?"

you unironically screamed,

As if that knowledge would save my life.

A simple package delivery seemed

To spark a battlefield of classist strife.

I regret the money, the time, the love,

I poured into our poisoned, toxic well.

You gaslit me, pushed and shoved,

Our friendship – a personal hell.

How many times must I be let down?

How many friendships will turn to dust?

Now, I reevaluate each bond around,

Searching for those I truly can trust.

We connected once, didn't we?

Bengali-American, in healthcare's fold.

But your self-absorption set us free,

Left me questioning all we once told.

Remember your undergrad roommate's baseless rage,

When I came out as bisexual in college?

I thought you were my defender sage,

Now I see through that false memory as merely symbolic.

She insinuated I took advantage,

When I wasn't flirting, not at all.

You were the one who caused damage,

Your fake flirting, because "that's what friends do,"

a confusing call.

Behind my back, your whispers flew fast:

"Worried about you," you falsely claimed.

Gossip masked as concern, unsurpassed,

Our friendship, forever stained and maimed.

Both Bengali, both Cornell alum, both of this Earth,

You, secure; I, in financial strife.

Your Brahmin name: a *castely* crown only given at birth,

Claiming Hinduism purity while you live a disdainful life.

We both have degrees in healthcare's realm,

But our paths couldn't be more diverse.

Your privilege a cushion at the helm,

While I fought for every cent, every verse.

Here's some pettiness, from me to you, served ice-cold:

I fought my way into direct admission.

You transferred, your struggle untold,

Your Ivy League dreams, a late addition.

Conservative, fascist values unchecked,

Your world view narrow and small.

I give honesty, which you reject:

While you only beckon judgment's call.

You say you don't recognize me anymore,

As if that's some kind of sin.

Do you know the honor of what I bore?

The vulnerability that lies within?

You think I'm crazy, unhinged, splintered,

For writing this, for being direct.

But this is me, raw and unfiltered,

My neurodivergence deserves respect.

So here we are, at the bitter end,

A decade of friendship turned to ash.

I'm angry, hurt, but I'll transcend

Your entitled, spoiled backlash.

To my ex-friend, I bid adieu,

Your cowardice and cruelty laid bare.

I'll heal, I'll grow, I'll start anew,

While you spiral in your self-made lair.

Fuck you, for the millionth time, I say,

For the pain you've caused, the trust you've broken.

I'm done with your gaslighting display,

These are among the last words to be spoken.

No more chances, no more pain to bear,

This poem seals our story's end.

May you wake up, heal, and become aware,

But I won't be there, my former best friend.

--

Rose the artist formerly known as she her Pri

~ গোলাপ্রী

[txttletale]

non-normative sexuality is not the root of sexual abuse or rape. for a huge amount of history in a huge amount of the world, sexual abuse and rape have been thoroughly normal (cf. marital rape exemptions being removed from US legal codes as recently as 2019). rapists are not 'freaks' -- the default, 'normal' paradigm of sexuality across the world is one of violent misogyny. 640 million women are or were child brides and the men marrying them are not abberations or exceptions, they are normal. men who engage in endemic workplace harassment or frat boys who assault women are behaving in a way that is 'normal', they are fulfiling the gendered expectations for expressions of heterosexual sexuality when they harass and catcall and abuse women. projecting sexual violence onto the specter of the obviously deviant, abnormal outsider is a scapegoating mechanism intended to sanitize and exonerate the cisheteropatriarchal standard of normalized and ubiquitous sexual violence

[reachartwork]

can you guys be normal for like five seconds please

[punks-never-die205]

Would Kid rape a woman who doesn't want him? 👀

Nope.

Even in Passing Fascination, Kid’s big thing is that he’ll hold the reader effectively prisoner, but he won’t fuck someone who doesn’t want it. (I mean the entire story is yandere and dubcon at the nicest levels, but still).

Now that said I’m sure he could. I just don’t think he would. He’d break someone down until they said yes, at least in dark content stories - he’d definitely push someone he was sure wanted it until they were begging for it.

But outside of dark content? Absolutely not. Kid deeply strikes me as someone who can’t even get into it if his partner isn’t. He’ll play the big bad punk and scare the shit out of someone, especially to run them off, but he wouldn’t follow through.

Like I said in an earlier ask, Kid and the crew are sex positive. Consent is King - more than Kid is Captain, it’s a primary tenant of the crew. Love doesn’t have to come into it, but everyone’s gotta be on the same page and willing, otherwise you move on and find someone (or something ) else to get what you’re jonesing for.

[mossymotherboard]

TIL there's r*pe content in Pratchett books 🙃

[ayeforscotland]

Can 2024 be the year we stop using stupid fucking terms like ‘unaliving’?

Self-censorship is still censorship, and mature conversations should use mature language.

Same can be said of ‘grape’ instead of ‘rape’, ‘corn’ instead of ‘porn’.

We need to be able to discuss these things, and we also need to use that language so people who want to avoid these conversations can block the tags. Using silly language like that circumvents the space that people curate for themselves.

[skufdaddyswansea]

Mouthwashing, Dual Protagonists, and Captain Curly

While the vast majority of Mouthwashing is shown from Jimmy's perspective, the events leading up to the Tulpar's crash usually follow Curly. There are several interesting reasons for this, but there's one reason in particular that I'd like to focus on.

By setting Jimmy and Curly up as dual protagonists, we're invited to draw comparisons between them. Not only are they the lenses through which we view the story, they pass the role of Captain back and forth between their chapters.

It's easy to feel sympathy for Curly, given the state he spends the larger part of the game in. It can also be easy to gloss over his more subtle shortcomings when measuring him up against Jimmy.

In this post, I want to take a closer look at Curly's character. And more specifically, how he relates to one of the game's most obvious themes.

Is Curly able to deal with the consequences of his actions? Does he realize his own failures and how they harm the people around him? What does he do with the power he's granted over others?

Does Curly take responsibility?

Jimmy's fixation here gives us a good jumping-off point. It's certainly possible that he's only really been told this once or twice, but because he's Jimmy he's blown it out of proportion out of spite. It's also possible he's entirely making it up because he's projecting, but I think the former is more likely if anything.

And, if I had to take a guess where he heard it from, I'd put my money on The Pony Express itself.

In the eyes of The Pony Express, a "great leader" isn't someone diligent or able to meet the needs of his crew. The real reason Curly was able to rise to the top of the ladder and become captain is because he gets the job done without rocking the boat.

I'm establishing all this because I think it's worth examining by what metric he's being judged. Because, while it may be Jimmy who most often digs this point up, Curly doesn't disagree with him. Even in the depths of his ennui, it's important to him that not only is he the Captain, but a good one at that.

When comparing the two, that can again seem difficult to argue against. Jimmy is quick to lash out and shift blame. His resentment and insecurities often drive him to pick fights. Curly prefers to avoid conflict, but knows his position doesn't always allow him to do so. He tries to pick his battles, but when he has to get involved he focuses on de-escalating the situation.

But although their similarities are few, they do exist. And they greatly influence the narrative. Because it is from their shared selfishness, callousness, and cowardice that the entire story is born.

It's time to address the elephant in the room. We can't draw any conclusions about Curly's nature, his character, his role in the story, and his relationship to its themes without digging into his handling of Anya's assault, and the chain of events that follow.

I find it interesting that we never see the initial conversation Anya has with Curly about the assault. We simply know that she confided in him. He is the Captain, after all. The crew is his responsibility.

The thing is, we don't really need to know the exact conversation they shared, because we can imagine it went quite similarly to their conversation about her pregnancy.

She tells him how scared she is. She fears for her life. It never even occurred to him that she was upset about anything other than losing her job. He swears to her that everything will be fine. They'll fix this. All he has to do is talk to Jimmy.

He does not talk to Jimmy.

Maybe the first time he really did intend to. He just needed time. Jimmy has always had... struggles. If we want to, we can be generous to Curly, we can assume his old problems were much less vile. Otherwise, he would have never pulled the strings to get him this job, never put him in a position of power over vulnerable people. Right? But now, this was whole new beast altogether. Because he and Jimmy go way back, he had to process this, figure out what he was even supposed to say.

But at the same time, The Pony Express had just gone gone under. He'd been struggling with dissatisfaction and indecision for so long, and now his hand has been forced. He has his own problems. And Anya seems fine, doesn't she? If she hadn't said anything, he'd never have even known there was anything wrong. It just doesn't seem that important.

Anya talks to Jimmy herself.

She's scared, she fears for her life. But now she knows now that Curly won't defend her, nor give her the means to defend herself. Still, he promises her, they'll fix this. He just has to talk to Jimmy.

Things are different now. He can't sit by and wait for things to work out anymore. After all, it's not only her problem anymore.

Now it's Curly's problem too. How is he supposed to find another job with this on his record? There's only one other person on this ship who understands what he's going through.

He talks to Jimmy.

And he understands. Not that what he did was wrong, of course. Not that he'd done something horrific, irreversible, cruel. But that it now had consequences, and that he wouldn't suffer them alone.

Curly made his decision. He chose his paper-thin illusion of peace and his eroding friendship with Jimmy over the safety and well-being of his crew. And when it all came tumbling down, he decided it was better to bury them all under the rubble than to face the struggle to rebuild.

If Jimmy hadn't been there, hadn't been his co-pilot, Curly almost certainly would not have been able to bring himself to actually follow through with something so selfish and reckless.

But Jimmy was there, and Curly made sure of that.

So, it's time to ask again. Does Curly take responsibility?

Well, yes.

But it's too little, too late.

As much as Mouthwashing is about Jimmy fighting furiously against the consequences of his actions, it is also about Curly being forced to watch them unfold anyway. His silence and inaction, once a choice, are inflicted upon him by his mangled body.

Jimmy may have crashed the ship, but Curly gave him the keys. And so it's fitting in the end that Curly is made to take the full weight of responsibility by the man who he helped avoid it so many times.

[yallemagne]

I'm watching people trauma bond with Calypso from EPIC in real-time. Y'all. A character can be a woman and be a rapist at the same time. And her being a woman doesn't mean that ACTUALLY there's some trauma in her past that justifies her imprisoning men on her island and taking them to bed against their will, it means that she's a rapist that just happens to also be a woman.

I love how Calypso is depicted in EPIC, she's just dripping with a nastiness that is only matched by Penelope's entitled suitors. She's sugary sweet at the outset, but when Odysseus rather violently rejects her, she laughs at his rejection, saying he's adorable when he's angry and that he doesn't have any choice but to submit to her will as a god. And then she goes right back to the sweet lover in paradise ruse!!! It's sickening! She denies his autonomy because it gets in the way of the fantasy romance that she's forcing upon him.

So, I'm frustrated with people trying to paint it as though she's the victim in the situation, that what she's doing is somehow okay because she's a pretty woman and they feel bad for her. That's so patronizing.

I've seen people justify her behaviour by saying she's lonely. Tough shit get a hobby. Being starved for affection has never justified being an abuser.

I've seen people insist she truly cares about Odysseus because she tries to talk him down from suicide... but an abuser talking you down from taking drastic measures to escape their abuse isn't them showing genuine care, it's them not wanting the game to end, it's them exerting control over your very life. If anything, it's more disturbing because she is the one who drove him to be suicidal. So she's playing this game where she drives him to the precipice and then tries to lure him back down with "reminders" of "their love", those reminders actually being of the words of his dead loved ones that she's pilfered and warped as though they were her own.

The most ridiculous argument I've seen in defending Calypso's behaviour is saying that we can't use terms like "rapist" for her because "it was a different time" so "it's not certain whether or not what she did would be considered non-consensual for the time"... Like must I even point out that... that sleeping with someone against their will has always been and will always be rape? Anyway, her actions fit the ancient definition of rape to a t anyhow, so it's weird to try and weaponize "cultural differences" for the sake of having plausible deniability in Calypso's favour. Rape is also used to mean kidnapping, which is why we have pieces titled the Rape of Ganymede, the Rape of Persephone, etc..

Even if Jorge were to come out and say that, somehow, nothing sexual took place on Calypso's island in seven years, that despite her explicitly telling Odysseus that his "no" means nothing to her as a goddess she somehow never went so far as to sexually assault him... it doesn't make her abuse any less bad that she spared him that one trauma! Like holy shit dude.

Imagine if there was an adaptation that featured Zeus' rape of Io, and the audience responded to every literally dehumanizing action Zeus took against Io by saying "ooohh but he's lonely. i feel bad for him the most he's just a widdle lonely baby man. his wife is so meaaan."