#cuz yeah stress anyways
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*blow dusts away* hey
#i havent forgotten things#im making it thru#ghoap still got me on a tight grip#i'll be back next week#altho when i come back im doing angst#cuz yeah stress anyways#gummmyart#doodle
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@nowfallc PICTURE!! FOR YOU!! PLEASE TAKE IT!! <3
#agh I’m so so nervous but I’m big and strong and you all agree with me <3#plus it’s nearly 6 in the morning and I pulled an all nighter to finish this. which I’m sure is not helping my stress levels At All!#ALSO!#I’m gonna do another one!#you will NEVER know which picture so get fuckin ready HELLLLLLLLL yeah!!!#<- as for those of you who were Present when I said which picture I was gonna do. ummmmm. shut up! say nothing!!#ALSO…..2!!#wanted to share how I did the scuff marks cuz I felt like it. and also I said I was gonna do it. anyway!#what you wanna do is get a real textured brush. ideally something pencil adjacent#and a mid grey color#and with LIGHT pressure you follow the edges of whatever metal bit you’re rendering#you can go a little heavier on the corners if you desire#from the corners you take a smudge tool and gently blend in the opposite direction of the corner if that makes sense#and then take an eraser (IDEALLY one that’s the same as your rendering brush)#and gently erase back towards the corner. but with a much smaller brush size#add little scratches and pick marks as you please#and that’s it#you know maybe this would make more sense with an actual diagram I’m so so bad at explaining stuff agh#I’m gonna shut the hell up now 🙏#trigun#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun stampede#trigun fanart
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it really be split central over here
#~leon#we have. so many new members#and thats on Stress#something stressgenic something#anyway i wanna draw some of these new folk#seems most are coming from creatures of sonaria rn#also have some from pokemon and welcome to nightvale#and. another source that we're gonna say hatsune miku made cuz we Hate the author#oh yeah we also just have. Jesus from The Bible#plural irl#actually plural#plural system#plurality#pluralpunk#terrorpunk#voidpunk#plural community#pluralgang#plural#pro endo#endo safe#mixed origin#quiogenic#mixed origin system#quiogenic system#plural meme#plural shitpost
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Writing Little Socks part two (twice the socks, twice the sadness) has been going really slow bc of me simply not taking the time for my hobbies (oops) but!!! I thought maybe if i post some samples of what I've already written it'll help me continue it
In no particular order!!
This introduction was really fun to write!! We love some poetic words sprinkled through
If ya'll know the sound i took the "he makes me laugh" part from you get a cookie
Siri stop being delulu challenge :(
#its a fun one shot but its been soooo hard to make time for writing these days#school and my home situations (mom is finally able to get a divorce from my father which is great!! but also stressful)#but yeah!!!#id love to hear your thoughts and speculations on these cuz Little Socks part 1 is like#my favourite thing ive ever written#and since takes place a few months after part 1 its really fun to see how things have changed#anyway!!!#ty to my buddy rose for helping me figure out what to focus on for this one <333#shes such a trooper yall#artinandwritin's writing#gussiri
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enstars lolita substyle tier list <- delivered by a guy whos been So normal abt lolita for the past 7 yrs
#yehs ya might notice i removed the old school ones cuz well frankly. i don think enstarsies wld rly b into old school. apart from.. ahem#MIKAAAAAAA KAGEHIRAAAA#anyway#note: i do nawt hate ibanagi. i hate military#but yeah the old school ones stressed me so badly i jus ripped em out ok. no one can have it only me#if yr wonderin. wat these r based off#its vibes. i kno a lot of characters on a surface level im by naw means like usin sum kinda deep profound lore#jus vibes + personal opinion of like#imaginin the person in a substyle n if it clicks i add#tier list#ensemble stars#<- sneaky main tag. im ready
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Phone appointment in like 20 minutes wish me luck i will need it
#was supposed to be yesterday. had a panic attack. bad. but they had to reschedule anyway.#i feel erm. not as bad. right now. power of xanax. hope its enough.#i think im stressed cuz im bad at communicating especially when anxious and communication is a little difficult with this dr to begin with#and yeah ill be honest my mom just straight up making fun of my speech issues yesterday morning probably caused it all LOL BUT ITS FINE.#the kat goes meow
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ok i literally only did two prompts but thats it for now i will get to the ones in my inbox tomorrow ✌️✌️
#chronic pain rlly be like this tho#i hate feeling like i have to justify taking breaks like. its due to impostor syndrome honestly.#same w putting watermarks or dont repost disclaimers on my art#i didnt do it for a long time cuz i was like eh its not good enough for that#but like it doesnt matter if its good or not its still like... my art and i should safeguard it#what was i talking about again OH YEAH chronic pain#i felt kinda shitty for not being able to draw as much cuz my art feels more simple than rendered stuff#that ppl could churn out in a day#but like. im litrally physically disabled bro and also it doesnt matter how 'simple' i draw its still stress on my body#idk one person was mean to me and it made me sensitive lmao#anyway.... ill draw whats left in my inbox and then afterwards i'll be back to doing requests thru kofi#i did raise the price of my doodles but it is because of my arm pain im sorry if u think my doodles are worth less#but i am willing to negotiate if u genuinely cant afford it depending on complexity
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I CAN DO THIS!!!! I CAN LEARN TO BE A THEATER DESIGNER!!!! YES I AM JUST STARTING OUT AND DOING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! THATS CUZ IT IS A TRADE AND YOU LEARN A TRADE BY PRACTICING!!!!! SO I AM GOING TO PRACTICE DAMMIT!!!!
#i am realizing i have the capacity to be rly ambitious and hardworking when it’s something i care about#which i didn’t think i did. because adhd and academic struggles and such#but another side effect of caring a lot about this is i am rly disappointed and worried when i feel like i’m not doing well enough#which is a feeling i think most people get academically#but i turned that feeling off in my brain for a long time cuz again. at a certain point i was academically struggling#and i couldn’t be disappointed anymore#like it was just less stressful to care a little less#which i am currently experiencing in my classes right now actually. need to deal with that#anyway#idk i keep finding out how much i don’t know about theater design and then feeling so so embarrassed#and thinking i might be a fraud#but then people look at my work and they say nice things and i am deciding to take that to heart!!!#and just hope that they’re right#it’s existential about career hours rn#also mandatory acknowledgement that i’m privileged for even considering an artistic careen#and i’m definitely gonna be living off ice soup if i try to make this happen#uh. that is all . yeah#ok yk what i should probably be a theater professor#that is definitely the biggest way i’ve seen theater professionals get regular gigs (on college shows) and make enough money to live#and also have access to massive prop and set collections!!!!!#which is what it’s really all about baybeeee#ok that is all goodnjght#theater#career#rambling
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I slept rly deeply last night even tho it took me a while to get to sleep but I think that was bc I had acid reflux and I'd been playing videogames too late not anything else.... still only got 6 hrs but doing pretty okay all things considered 😚
#and not feeling sick this morning so im sticking w the higher dose for one more day. my heart rate does feel a little uncomfortably fast#but its tolerable. just gonna make notes of how it goes through the day and ill submit my review form to my dr this evening#and hopefully she'll give me the green light to drop back down instead of continuing to titrate up#this is making me think of those heartrate fetishists... do u think i could make money selling tachycardic heart recordings online#i do wanna try to exercise this morning while i have energy. might take the bike out it looks like a gorgeously sunny day#maybe ill try to map my cycle route to work so i can consider cycling there instead of taking the bus in a couple weeks..#i cant atm thp cuz they have scaffolding up and its blocked off the bike racks sadly 😔#i think making myself eat + drink as much as i can has helped control the nausea too. just need a lot of fuel to process meds properly ig#and a lot of sleep.. its a bit stressful to think abt how rigid im going to have to be abt my daily routines if i want to stay medicated#but to be honest i have a pretty rock solid sleep/meal routine already bc its the only way i can function with the hours i work#so like. i dont rly need to worry too much. i think i reacted badly the first couple days bc my base anxiety was high#and then bc that feeling was heightened by meds -> made me not eat/sleep properly -> knock on sickness the next day#but yeah still the side effects arent very nice and i dont wanna take the risk of it exacerbating every difficult emotion i deal with#but fingers crossed bc 30 worked rly nice for me and i had barely any side effects so hopefully i can settle w that long term 🤞#we will see....#ANYWAY. sorry for making the same post over and over the last couple days. talking abt it on here has helped me feel a lot calmer#i dont wanna bother ppl irl w every thought and physical symptom i experience hourly. but this is my blog i can do what i want#hope everyone else has a nice sunday <3#.diaries
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this is just me going "fine I'll just do it myself" after not being able to find a single fanart for Yi Xian (the cultivation card game). (I bet there's some but I'm just not able to find it)
so here we are, catering to myself and myself only with very low-effort doodles to destress feat. mostly Mu Yifeng, Yan Chen and Jiang Ximing
#Yi xian: the cultivation card game#Mu Yifeng#Yan Chen#Jiang Ximing#i know these arent solid at all but times rough and scribbling go brr#anyway hey if anyones intrigued and wants to know more about the game#its an autobattler deckbuilder in xianxia setting#so if pvp deckbuilding/strategy is your style you absolute should go check it out#i myself hate using my brain and pvp so this is absolutely not what i usually play or would pick up but it charmed me and i love it so much#even tho i SUCK at it so bad#its in early access on steam for 7 euro#for anyone interested#and it makes me so sad that theres so many negative reviews saying its p2w cuz its NOT!!!! the only thing available with money is reskins#and u can get the jades to buy them by playing anyway#but ive heard there were p2w elements back when it got released but they got hotfixed quickly but i guess the rumours stuck around?? sad#also if u like the concept and wanna see more without actually playing i recommend gameplays by retromation they're super entertaining#anyway#yeah i absolutely shouldnt be playing nno games whatsoeveer rn bc i cant afford any of the precious time I've got left#i dont even know exactly how much ive got left until the school leaving exams and shit for Uni like two months ig#im useless absolutely i cant i cant but brain no work and pretty card game makes stress go away uh oh spaghettios#oh well enough of that#cheers#btw ive been doodling in the meantime but ppl actually follow this blog now so I'm overthinking it again and not posting anything goddammit
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the things my mind will do to NOT have to face the consequences of a traumatic story arc
"oh so and so died last week? and the new episode is tonight? hmm sounds like it'll be a good one...
.....y'know i've really been meaning to get into [absolute rabbit hole of a fandom]"
#it just feels like today should be a break week day#like my guy just passed LAST thursday and you want me to come back? for MORE? of what? that??#yeah no i need another week to mentally prepare and then ill be right with you please and thank you#i never actually watch the rebroadcast in the mornings cuz it feels weird watching cr with the sun shining#but the thought of locking in for 4 more hours of stress tonight is not for me#so maybe ill catch it on yt and watch while i play sdv or something#yknow balance out the stress with a game that is deceptively stressful but in a different way lmao#plus i still havent finished the fhjy episode so. im busy lol#the fandom that my brain is trying to use as an excuse to miss the live btw is naddpod#ive been keeping up with dnd court cuz its just fun sillies that require none of my attention or brain power#so i havent gotten into a campaign yet but i think about it a lot. i know ill like it and thatll be the end of me#but anyway good luck tonight critters!#the temptation might have me idly popping into stream but heres to hoping no one else perishes! :'D#critical role#sea rambles
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hey guys
#man i am such a sleepy fella rn#i sure hope i’m not a clone and the real me doesn’t come into my room and kill me tonight!#/j#genuinely thank u all for ur reactions. like u all are excited to read new chapters and IM excited to read ur reactions#its always my favorite part#makes me so happy to see people enjoying my characters and story it’s literally a dream come true like wow#i’m so happy people like chapter 14 and thanks for all the amazing comments and stuff it makes me sooo happy#i’m too eepy but yeah that’s what i wanted to say :)#wyrms says stuff#i’ve also had anton brainrot specifically him as a Little Guy so i might finally finish that borrower basil au thing when they first meet#cuz it’s super wholesome and i think u all need that LOLLL#also. only like 7 of you will know what i’m talking about but anton as a kid is literally just louie in a different font like wow they are#soooo similar#not present day anton tho. just him as a little guy#literally him and louie would’ve been best friends AUGHH MY HEART#i’m gonna draw them interacting because that would literally heal me that would change my life#none of you understand how important this is to me like. holy shit#anyway reminder that things might be rough for dew right now haha but he gets a happy ending don’t stress abt it!!#the next 4 chapters specially might be a bit darker than usual#but then mystery character!!!!!!!! FUCK YESSS!!!!!!#excited :)
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this is a legit question - for years i’ve essentially ‘pirated’ color palettes
for procreate, there’s a pretty big market of color palettes you can purchase to add the swatches to your program. however i was like “i ain’t paying 2+ dollars on some colors” so i just took a screenshot and eyedropped them into the program myself (and for preview images that were censored to avoid that, like having an overlay over half of the colors, i just edited it out to get it close enough). for as long as ive done this i was a cocky edgelord about it but now im wondering if i should feel bad about it??
because even if i think buying colors is ridiculous (especially for some of the prices i’ve seen geez) im still technically stealing. from small businesses. right?? but at the same time can you even copyright a color scheme? is buying a color palette for procreate even worth paying for? cuz they’re so cool and i wanna use em but also cmon.
(also ngl collecting them and dumping them into the program like a treasure haul is addicting lol)
this probably sounds so so stupid but i’m starting to worry a little 😭😭
#mayor talk#if there’s one thing i like about my methods of not paying for color palettes#it means i can let it sit in my very big color palette gallery and decide ‘yeah this is ass’ and delete it#without any sunk costs involved. cuz some of the color palettes are displayed in certain ways#that make them more appealing- such as putting the colors against a background they contrast well against#to make them more vibrant and interesting when the actual thing is mid#[or maybe i’m just a bad artist who can’t use them well]#but anyway i’m sorry i’ve just admitted to thievery i guess 😭😭😭#but again i can’t tell if this is really bad or not or if anyone gives a shit#i’ve used color palettes for my artwork before too. and i still believe you can’t copyright a color palette but ehhhhhh you never know#*pirated palettes i should stress#when do i make art without a color palette in general lmao
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y’know. gift giving really is my favorite love language to show people. like, if a friend or someone even mentions “oh, i really want ‘X’ thing” i’m like. i’ve already written it down. it’s in my cart. i’ve bought it and am saving it for the perfect time to give it to them. i love putting effort into making the packaging pretty and perfect and hand making special cards for the occasion. i just love giving gifts to people i love and care about. the whole process of figuring out what to get someone/preparing it/seeing their reaction to it makes me feel so happy. so yeah. gift giving is my love language.
#ciaras tag#funny enough tho RECIEVING gifts can tend to be stressful for me sometimes lol#there’s only maybe like 2 or 3 people that I’m like ‘oh yeah doesn’t matter what they get me I know it’ll be great cuz they know me so well#but yeah. LOOOOOve giving gifts.#anyway. just a thought I had.#averi tells me all the time I’m such a good gift giver and it’s my love language#she’s also one of the easiest/funnest people for me to shop for#and I don’t even need an occasion sometimes I just get her things cuz I want to#cuz I love my best friend and I want to show that to her even tho I know she always knows it 🥺☺️
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haha get shidded on Fazbear lmaooo
more like FazBALLS hahahaha
#for context i am playing fnaf and my power went out at 5 am and then 6 am happened before feddy could kill me#cuz im just SO good#im actually very stressed lmao#that was only night 2#but yeah anyways get fucked freddy hahaha#five nights at freddys#fnaf
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Preserving tags from previous
Yes! We are speaking from experience! It has helped me to take regular long breaks and not force myself to make art to post online on a regular basis. The break resets my expectations from being unrealistic so that every interaction means something to me and I start making art because I enjoy making it and sharing it, not just because I’m chasing a ‘high’. Admittedly, the internet has allowed for many artists to get exposure and even use it as a job, but realistically if you are pursuing art as I career look at real life opportunities!! Look for contests and art exhibits to put your work in! That’s the stuff that will matter more than how many people follow you on social media :)
Small artists you need to understand that when you see an artist who you think has 'made it' tells you not to worry about the numbers and to not fret about getting more likes than reblogs they are not telling you it because they think you are stupid for caring or because they dont need to network to survive they are very likely telling you that because they have witnessed first hand the way the numbers game tears people to shreds in terms of mental health and motivation
#Yeah.. and also the likes and follows always have potential to keep going up so there’s no actual moment that you will feel satisfied#The follows especially are appreciated but they don’t mean much if most people that follow you don’t interact#and it gets so easy to establish a new norm of getting a surplus of people looking at your work only for them to start leaving#and think it’s a failing on your part and stress over what you did wrong and thus ignore how good it is#you still have the regulars who show up and comment (y’all are fantastic and so wonderful <3)#The algorithm is not worth it to try to appease please keep making art for the sake of it and your own enjoyment#This is why my instagram has so many posts because I was on that grind for four years and then dsmp happened and boosted my following#to an insane level it was only because I joined a really popular fandom at the right time that got me where I’m at#but I want people to be able to see how much time it took for that to happen cuz these things don’t happen instantly either#If you want ppl to see your work be patient (it could take years for your stuff to be seen) and be genuine#anyway this is definitely turning into me rambling
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