#cuz they are no fucking joke
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My boss just sent me for a walk because I was about to break down
#personal#ugh#people don’t talk about dopamine crashes#or mood swings#with adhd#audhd#and we really should#cuz they are no fucking joke#let alone the RSD#like fuck#rsd#adult adhd#actually adhd#actually audhd#actually autistic#yes I took my meds today#sometimes life > meds#because the crash is more than my meds mitigate with my low dose
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"man, every trans woman i meet has a shitty bed and small apartment and no money let's make fun of them for that, let's get self congratulatory assfaces in the reblogs saying they'll buy her a blanket, let's all point and laugh at the poor girl who is systemically discriminated against and therefore more likely to end up poor, unemployed, and homeless, isn't that so funny?????"
you guys talk about our poverty the way conservatives talk about iq
#stop intrinsically equating transness to poorness when you joke#cuz i see you when you turn around and pull 'waaaa hrt is so expensive everyone who has it must be rich and privileged'#straight up fucking fascist rhetoric yall#are we the ultimate oppressor or so weak and economically feeble that you get to laugh at us#fuck off
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The guy at the bar: Are you two gonna fuck or fight?
Wade and Logan, few hours later:
#they couldn't decide i guess#one more before i go to sleep#deadpool and wolverine#honda odyssey#deadpool & wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#deadpool#wolverine#poolverine#deadwolf#deadclaws#the honda odyssey#oh i need to use this tag now that i discovered it#the honda hatefuck#they fucked in the honda odyssey#I'm crying this is also a tag now lmfaooo#I'm still laughing at this cuz this was supposed to be a joke but these screenshots literally look like they're fucking 😭😭😭
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.
He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.
The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.
Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho
(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓
I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3
#hoodies are hard#i need to practice more#hrmmm#also i guess the new sona is staying#lol#theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached#he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them#hes selfish#theres so much angst potential here hehehoo#the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace#but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans#You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans#dust sans#my beloved#my beloathed#sans x self insert#sans x reader#sans x you#undertale au#fic idea#prolly a oneshot#leafs art#replaced au
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part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)
part 2 (on welt and being just a human)
#remember how in second eruption welt keeps getting covered in blood edgelord style whenever he fights??? yeah#wait first off#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#welt yang#void archives#voidwelt#my doodles#okay anyways. VA isnt human but they haven't been in a “human” body for very long so i reckon there's a lot of new experiences to make#and. i dont think he gets to be dignified enough NOT to be whiny about it. cmon. itd be so funny#second of all sure welt is human but that dude's real used to not giving a shit abt how he's doing and acting like a robot instead of a per#cuz he's got more “important” shit to do#(that's so fucking real of him man ME TOO BESTIE)#also as i told kai: that last panel is not a look of surprise or horror. i tagged this as voidwelt for a reason#i think we all know what kinda look this is#edit: and why tf would they be fighting sky people? why can they bleed? dont ask me im here to draw gay people covered in blood#edit 2: oh my god i didnt add the blood in the first panel. THATS WHAT THE JOKE REVOLVES AROUND???
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The fucking comment . How about I just kill myself
#SLASH JOKING I WONT KMS DW#but the comment fucking killed me omfg#cuz its so right??#fuuuuckk man#im gonna cry#im gonna lose my mind#im gonna throw up#im gonna die#im gonna explode#etc etc#an_theduckin#my text posts#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud narrator#tspud#tsp narrator#skip button ending
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Not the first to say it, but damn can’t believe Galladay really went from toxic yaoi to doomed tragic yaoi.
Alright fellow Galladay trash, where’s the modern AU fix-it fics?
I need to see Gallagher single dad with Misha plus their dog/cat Sleepie falling for entertainment company CEO Sunday. Don’t ask me how they met, fuck it, throw in bodyguard AU Gallagher who works part-time at a bar, boom there that’s how they meet, idk I’m making this up on 3 hours of sleep.
You’ve heard of slow burns, now get ready for Galladay blaze it.
They’re speedrunning the relationship from hate -> annoyance -> mild disgruntlement -> weirdly vibing -> ok wow never knew I needed that in my life -> Sunday is way too ok with spoiling Misha -> ok so we got married -> alright we’re dismantling the government now -> Sunday went to jail for 5 minutes for attempting “peaceful” world domination, don’t worry we (Gallagher) forgave him -> Sunday’s stepping down as CEO to run a coffeeshop idk look someone get him some therapy -> Robin is president now while she still goes on tours -> Misha won an engineering competition while this was all going on
Bottom line: Robin is out living her best life while Sunday is in the back somehow having the most insane week of his life. I have no other notes for her here except that she is happy, and successful, and is Sunday’s last remaining brain cell. She and Misha are having some fun Aunt/Nephew bonding times while Galladay are accidentally-on-purpose committing multiple war crimes.
No, we don’t have time to unpack 2.2 and all its trauma, we cope with modern AU :)
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr gallagher#hsr sunday#sunday#gallagher#galladay#galladay hsr#I am dying#played the quest for 8 hours straight till 3am#went into a coma right after#woke up#had a breakdown about my little galladay saxophone ficlet somewhat being right about the tragic yaoi of ‘what could have been’#Apollo is that you?#I better start seeing cute fluffy fics of these two now#ok real question#is dormancy/sleepie dog or cat coded?#I was debating it as I wrote this#cuz I feel like Gallagher is a dog person#and the way he he spoke of his pet aka sleepie in those texts seemed like he was a dog#but like#murder cat#constant jokes of sleepie trying to kill Sunday and camera pans to him just trying to bite Sunday’s ankles only to then fall asleep on him#fuck it they have both a cat and a dog#the dog is sleepie while the cat is dormancy it fits#help I can’t stop thinking about Sunday being in straight up denial over liking Gallagher while Robin is just doing the Office Stare™️#misha is weirdly ok with getting a new step parent and Sunday’s natural big brother instincts translate well into taking care of him#it helps that misha is just a polite and cute kid#THERES A TAG LIMIT?! WHAT?!#marrapost
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ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.
the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.
notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.
take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.
(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)
point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.
which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.
as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.
this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.
do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).
misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.
to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.
that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.
anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.
#death note#astronaut rambles#misa amane#mello#mihael keehl#mihael when he keehls you.........#damn u choc#the whole 'certified yapper' thing was kind of a joke a few posts ago fucking christ what happened to me#this ended up being about a lot more than just mello & misa oopsie#long post#had to pause in the middle of writing this cuz that ryuk/rem song is way too fucking good goddamn#...which also accidentally ended up being a couple days break. whoops#hope this one is still coherent i fear i got a bit repetitive even as the main points were quite simple =3=''#i should talk about the shinigami at some point... rem desperately needs some good meta around here aklsdfjk#sighh. all in due time#gotta post this now though so i can stop staring at it#ig it's bedtime for apples now. gotta go eepy so i can go grocery shopping tomorrow. :/#it's okay gotta feed yourself somehow#love you guys take care!!
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OOC: since Scrap is an ESPer does that mean they know about the hospital and all that??
OOC: yes, he knows. He vaguely referenced it at the beginning of the arc when talking about Eve's parents (somebody asked how he felt about Eve's family). He also mentioned that he never discloses anyone's private thoughts no matter the circumstances so it's not like he's going to tell her or anyone else
#honestly im thinking hes saying in his mind Yeah No I'm Not Getting Involved In All That <3 That's Their Fucking Problem#<- joke phrasing#no seriously though. its not his business that these people built their lives around a lie. when it all falls apart he does NOT wanna be-#-responsible for any of the damage that shit is gonna cause#cuz we know how faerie feels. hes just one person. imagine the reactions of dozens of children#horrors.#ooc
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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ahhh ermmm
#women 🔥#idk why#i feel like canon peepers n genderbend peepers would hate eachother#not just cuz of their stupid bob cuts in my gjinkas#generally if there were 2 peepers theyd have the craziest beef#why is my go to joke w andy the fucking (w rizz)#😔#wander over yonder#woy#save woy#art tag
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a helpful graphic
+ one more entry i have in the black/white doomed yaoi category (and also an orv spoiler)
#orv#joongdok#lc#sgdlr#shiguang#alnst#ivantill#vnc#vanoe#yes i reused that joongdok/shiguang joke. what are you gonna do. sue me#the they should be at the club is a reference to like. cxs is 21 and i think ivan's 22?#both kdj and yjh are 28 they should be getting 8 hours of sleep. (????#not even joking halfway through making this zero by lmyk came up on my spotify#as in. the vnc ed that i got that exact image from#if you wanna be a pedant i think vnc is more doomed yaoi than tragic yaoi tho cuz we just know noe's gonna kill vanitas but we havent#gotten?? there???? yet??????#i love how much that sounds like a spoiler its literally the first thing he says in the fucking show LMAO#asto speaks#in a better timeline i wouldve typed this out instead of writing it by hand
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people who dislike saiki kusuo i need to pick and prod at ur brain. whats going on in there?
#this is half joking but not really#i think you just cant read and thats okay<3#'hes a dick to everyone' LITERALLY TELL ME HOW#cuz the entire manga is about him pushing everyone away because he doesnt think hes supposed to have friends#which he thinks because of past experiences that have literally only proved him right#and they show him kindness and make him realize its fucking okay and he deserves to have friends#so please explain why him self sabotaging and pushing people away by being like at most mildly rude (ONLY WHEN PROVOKED MIGHT I ADD)-#makes him an asshole ???#anyone who thinks like this i feel like youre those people on twitter who r like 'u should never vent to ur friends or be there for them'#LIKE THATS U RN😭😭#idk how to explain it but i think its exactly the same#depressed guy has a tough time showing affection and u go 'well he doesnt deserve his friends actually'#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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The "faster than the elevator", the "there's always a first time", the Loud Wink™ at the dinner table, the grin in the helicopter, the way he laughed at himself when he said "we killed each other", the "there's your balance, asshole"... you can tell that Joe thinks that he's the funniest motherfucker on Earth. And he is right
#nicky directly enables this by also thinking that joe is the funniest motherfucker on earth#half the time he makes some dumb joke he looks directly at nicky like 'arent i fucking funny'#and every time nicky laughs#as he should cuz joe is hilarious#andy tried every psychological tactic to get him to stop being a clown and it never worked#because joe 1- amuses himself; and 2- always makes nicky smile and that's what matters#also he knows andy and booker need some levity as well#when did these tags become soft. anyway#tog#the old guard#yusuf al kaysani
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HELLO people of tumblr I simply MUST throw my tf2 ocs at you
I swear there’s actual lore and they all have names and backstories and they’re all CLONES living in the clonepocalypse but I’m writing this at 4am and I have places to be tomorrow I hope I don’t regret losing my mind and posting this tomorrow
#do we fuck with floating doodles with no color and a dark gray background#obligatory Helmet Party cuz I love myself and cherish my sanity#in this au I call them Drill Sergeant cuz of their names and I go hehehe#oh my god I’m tired#btw that Medic is sposed to be purple#Demo and Engie are missing eyeball twins except Demo has some weird magic shit going on that he’s sober enough to embrace and use#andan Solly Sniper and Pyro all live together and thye have a weird family dynamic going on. girldad Soldier (that’s a joke)#ufffghh I have more drawings of them including the rest of the mercs but they kind of suck#bahhh#ok goodnight tumblr#tf2#team fortress 2#engineer tf2#soldier tf2#demoman tf2#medic tf2#sniper tf2#pyro tf2#Helmet Party#oh yeah Demospy is also in this au but it’s not pictured sorryei#I will draw thrm#pretend this post made sense
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