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My recently completed Notion commission for @kazester!!!
I am so, so pleased with how it turned out, and it was so much fun to create!! I'm also in love with the aesthetic, I think it looks adorable <3
Interested in commissioning me for a custom Notion template? Send me a request here: https://ko-fi.com/sugarplumsenpai/commissions
#notion template#notion workspace#custom notion#notion commissions#notion dashboard#aesthetic notion dashboard#aesthetic notion templates#notion
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a bitch gets stressed out at work and builds social media profiles (where the "post" and "tagged in" buttons work + has a comment section where anyone can write comments) and ship pages for her characters to cope
#ive never used notion before this is a nightmare... and yet i feel relaxed#the comment section feature is a work in progress the integration is killing me but we have fun#can you customize forms to look different that while is ugly as hell#also huhhh should i use googleforms or typeform idk which one is best we will see
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Hi, may I ask what planner you use? Is there a specific hourly one that's good? Headed into my last semester this year and want to be way more organized since I have more classes. I always have my habits and routines set up as best I can but an hourly planner is a good idea.
Hey! So when it comes to planners, I’ve found that it really stresses me out to have something that has innumerable options in terms of customization. That’s why I’ve never been a Notion girl—I’m very into aesthetics, but I feel like I’d genuinely be going into overdrive trying to make it look as pretty as possible. I simply prefer being as practical as can be when it comes to planning, and for that reason I use literally the most boring, straight to the point app lol. It’s called TickTick! It’s a habit tracker and a planner in one, so it has been working very well for me :)
#but if aesthetics are a must for you���I briefly dabbled into the app Productive and I think it’s pretty good#the app Structured is also cute!#notion is also a very popular one but the vast customization options were driving me insane lol#ask
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youtube
Find Notion confusing? Don't worry, we're here to help! We make your Notion dreams into a reality.
Get started by emailing [email protected] today!
- Q & A -
Q: What is Lea's Notion Templates?
A: We create bespoke Notion templates, made for you and for you only based on the prompts you've given us. e.g. Green colour scheme with nature vibes for productivity.
Q: Should I use light or dark mode when I buy your templates?
A: I would recommend using light mode as some of the widgets I use have a light background and it might not look aesthetically pleasing when contrasting with the dark mode background.
Q: How much does one bespoke template cost?
A: The cost varies, depending on what you want to add to your template. The more complex it is, the higher the cost as it will take me more time to finish the template.
Q: After placing an order, how long will I have to wait until I can receive my template?
A: Similarly, the time taken to receive the product varies, depending on how long it will take me to finish and the number of orders I have.
Q: Will you send me drafts of the Notion template?
A: There will be an additional cost for drafts only if changes need to be made.
#Notion#Notion Templates#notion template#notion dashboard#notion aesthetic#notion setup#notion inspo#notes#improvement#productivity#self improvement#Bespoke Notion#Custom#Youtube
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Why is Google Keep so dysfunctional?
I took a note on my phone last night, and then this morning I copied it into a brand new Google Keep note so I could transfer it to my laptop. That was like... four hours ago.
Now I'm looking at Google Keep on my laptop, refreshing the entire page, using the in-app refresh button, everything... and the note I made this morning still appears as nothing but an "empty note".
Wtf, Google Keep. Get your shit together. At this rate I'm going to have to go back to sending myself an email from my phone with the info that I want to transfer to the laptop in the body of the email, which seems kind of unnecessarily old-fashioned.
#google keep#i'm a dissatisfied customer#anyone have any recommendations of an alternative note-taking app#that is both accessible on the internet (from desktop) and as an app on my Android phone?#and most importantly: SIMPLE. plain text. not fucking Notion and all that crap.#cosmo gyres#personal#o hear my sad complaint#text
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My brain is in battle over raindrop or notion as a place to store my fic recs. The true answer like anything abt posting on the internet is diy my own recs page with my own hosting for longevity, but I'm also lazy and don't want to code outside of work. Leaning towards notion if only for the fact that it encourages long form posts so I can put reviews and content warnings. It's just really bad at letting me click through on links.
#phantom rambling#also yay custom headers but nooooo i have to make more stuff for it#also if i like notion then i have to fucking redeploy my landing page again ugh
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Something I maaay or may not finish, but still like because it features a scene that's important To Me.
Very Important Starlet Who's Going To Make It Big, She Promises, and a stray cat who keeps bringing her gifts to try and woo her.
#My Art#Original Characters#Original Character#Ipseity: Cael#Ipseity: Verna#Both of them in Their Youth....#Cael is just a little scamp who's in over his head trying to achieve this 'Herald' thing#and Verna is this prissy froufrou who thinks that she can just have that 'Herald' thing handed to her#These views have nothing to do with them coming from very different cultural customs. Not at all.#Yes he still does try to woo her because he cannot resist the allure of But Pretty#smoiler alert: It doesn't work out But their dynamic does lead to them staying close regardless#This specific image is supposed to be Cael coming to cheer up Verna after the realization sinks in that she rose too soon#and fell hard as a result. And he's super insistent on being there for her/casting aside the notion he was only there for her status#He brought her goods he made himself.....
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Mastering academic excellence
Becoming an academic weapon is about more than just studying hard, it’s about studying smart.
1. The power of a minimalist study space
Your study environment plays a crucial role in your ability to concentrate and absorb information. A cluttered desk or disorganized room can lead to distractions, stress, and reduced productivity. On the other hand, an orderly and minimalist space promotes clarity of thought and focus.
Why Minimalism Matters
Reduces Distractions A minimalist setup limits visual and mental distractions. With fewer items in your field of vision, your brain can focus more on the task at hand.
Promotes Calmness An organized space creates a sense of calm, reducing stress and anxiety, which are common barriers to effective studying.
Enhances Efficiency Knowing exactly where your materials are saves time and keeps you in the flow of your work, avoiding interruptions caused by searching for misplaced items.
How to Create the Ideal Study Space
Declutter Regularly Keep only essential items on your desk. Store books, papers, and other materials neatly in drawers or shelves.
Personalize Mindfully Add a few personal touches, like a plant or a motivational quote, but avoid overloading your space with unnecessary objects.
Ensure Comfort Choose a comfortable chair, good lighting, and a desk at the right height to prevent physical discomfort during long study sessions.
2. Mastering active learning techniques
Active learning is the cornerstone of effective studying. Unlike passive methods, such as simply reading or highlighting, active learning engages multiple areas of your brain, enhancing comprehension and retention.
Key Active Learning Techniques
Summarization After reading a section of your textbook or attending a lecture, summarize the main points in your own words. This forces you to process the information deeply, improving understanding and memory.
Self-Testing Regularly quiz yourself on the material. This not only reinforces your knowledge but also highlights areas where you need further review. Tools like flashcards or apps such as Anki can be particularly effective.
Teaching Others Explaining concepts to others is one of the best ways to solidify your understanding. This could be done with a study partner, in a group setting, or even by teaching an imaginary audience.
Mind Mapping Create visual representations of the material, such as diagrams or mind maps. This technique helps you see connections between ideas and organizes complex information into a more digestible format.
3. Study aids for enhanced learning
Study aids are tools and resources that can support and enhance your learning process. When used correctly, they can make studying more efficient and effective.
Types of Study Aids:
Flashcards Ideal for memorization, flashcards help reinforce knowledge through active recall and spaced repetition. Digital flashcards allow for easy organization and accessibility on the go.
Mind Maps These visual tools help break down complex concepts and illustrate relationships between ideas, making it easier to grasp and remember large amounts of information.
Practice Tests Taking practice exams familiarizes you with the format and types of questions you might encounter, reducing test anxiety and highlighting areas for improvement.
Educational Apps Numerous apps cater to various aspects of studying, from organization (Notion, Evernote) to subject-specific learning (Duolingo for languages).
How to Use Study Aids Effectively
Incorporate Them Regularly Don’t wait until the last minute to use study aids. Regular integration into your study routine ensures continuous reinforcement of material.
Customize Your Tools Tailor flashcards, mind maps, and other aids to suit your learning style and the specific material you need to master.
Combine Methods Use a mix of study aids to address different types of content and to keep your study sessions dynamic and engaging.
4. Staying Healthy
MENS SANA IN CORPORE SANO
The ancient adage "mens sana in corpore sano," meaning "a healthy mind in a healthy body," underscores the importance of physical well-being in achieving academic success. Neglecting your health can lead to burnout, decreased cognitive function, and lower academic performance.
Physical Health and Academic Performance
Nutrition A balanced diet fuels your brain, improving concentration, memory, and energy levels. Incorporate brain-boosting foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids.
Exercise Regular physical activity increases blood flow to the brain, enhances mood through the release of endorphins, and reduces stress. Even short, daily exercise sessions can make a significant difference in your mental clarity and stamina.
Sleep Adequate sleep is essential for memory consolidation and cognitive function. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to ensure you are well-rested and ready to tackle your studies.
Mental Health and Academic Success
Stress Management Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing to manage stress. Regular breaks during study sessions can also prevent burnout.
Work-Life Balance Ensure you have time for relaxation and social activities. A balanced life contributes to mental well-being, which in turn supports academic success.
Positive Mindset Cultivate a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than as obstacles. This perspective not only enhances resilience but also keeps you motivated in your academic pursuits.
[photos from Pinterest]
#beauty tips#dream girl tips#glow up tips#health tips#study tips#study motivator#study blog#studyspo#study motivation#studying#studyblr#study aesthetic#phdblr#phd life#undergraduate#gradblr#uni studyspo#uni studyblr#uni blogging#uni student#it girl#that girl#clean girl#hyper feminine#becoming that girl#healthy girl#pink pilates girl#this is what makes us girls#weight loss#productivityboost
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i called her on the phone and she touched herself - e.m.
ghostface eddie munson x fem reader
18+ ONLY MDNI
warnings: voyerism, mutual masturbation, phone sex, eddie’s a perv but we’re into it, alluding to a knife kink, lots of scream references
i ended up taking a look at this fic today and making some little tweaks and i love it so much more now. this is another repost from my old account but i promise new content will be coming soon. enjoy xx.
word count: 1.5k
The phone rings, loud and shrill in your ear.
It sound causes you to flinch in surprise, heart thudding in your chest when you reach for the receiver. The cheesy horror movie playing on your small tv set now forgotten as you pick up the phone.
“Hello?” Your voice sounds a little breathless, a deep chuckle resounding in your ear.
“Hello, sweetheart.”
The voice on the other end was husky, smooth yet confident.
“Who is this?” You feign a bored tone, your thighs squeezing together unintentionally.
You’d never been so attracted to someone’s voice before— and he’d only spoken two words to you. But something about it felt oddly… familiar.
“Were you expecting a call from someone?” The male asks and you shift slightly to glance at your bedside clock. 8:43 PM.
Steve would still be working at the video store, or he was supposed to be. Unless he decided to prank call you during a lull in customers. Which could very well be a possibility.
“Maybe… why do you wanna know?” Your tone is overly flirty as you decide to play along.
The call now much more exciting than the movie playing out on your tv screen.
You’d never take a suggestion from Keith ever again.
“Hm, a pretty girl like you must be waiting on a call from a boyfriend?”
You can���t help but laugh at that notion, serious relationships weren’t your thing. Despite how attractive and persistent Steve was, a relationship is the last thing you wanted to tangle yourself in right now.
But he clearly was still trying too hard.
You breathe out a heavy sigh, “Nope, no boyfriend.”
Despite being a usually observant person, you still weren’t aware of the eyes trained on your half naked figure. The dark cloaked figure watching from the tree that faced your bedroom window.
“Mm, lucky me then.”
You glance back at the screen when the music begins to swell, hinting that one of the teenagers would be killed off at any moment. A loud scream fills the room as the killer takes one of the camp counselor by surprise.
“What’s that sound?” He asks, unable to see the television from his vantage point.
“Oh, just a movie.”
The male hums deeply, the sound causes you to squirm against your bedsheets. Heat pools in your lower belly and you mindlessly let your fingertips dance along the edge of your lace panties.
“What kind of movie?” He probes, his dark eyes now drawn to the silky skin of your thighs.
You begin shifting, lying back fully against your pillows. You rest the receiver between your ear and shoulder as you spread your legs open. Unintentionally giving him the perfect view as you dip your fingers past the flimsy material. The sight causes his cock to stir beneath his dark jeans.
“A scary one,” you reply, despite this being the least scary thing you’ve ever seen.
Eddie grins beneath the white ghostface mask, sheathing his blade before he reaches for the zipper on his pants. He tugs them down to free his hardened cock, pulling his mouth away from the phone to spit into the palm of his hand. The male wrapping it around his thick length whilst your fingers begin to circle over your clit.
While the brunette had come here with the intention to scare you… this turn of events was far more interesting.
“Oh, you like scary movies?”
He grins, enjoying how your voice seems to shake over the line, but not for the reason he initially expected.
“Y-Yes…”
Only pleasure laces your tone.
Eddie inhales deeply, watching as you twirl your fingers around the phone cord with your other hand. The light of the television illuminates your body with an almost ethereal like glow.
“Hmm, tell me… what’s your favorite scary movie, sweetheart?”
Your breath hitches in your throat, now shoving your soaked underwear completely down your thighs. You kick them off the edge of your bed before dipping a finger inside yourself. You chew on your lower lip to hold back a moan you so desperately wanted to let escape, eagerly slipping another digit inside.
This wasn’t the first time you’d touched yourself like this with Steve on the other end of the phone, but this was by far the most exciting.
Little did you know the male on the other end was definitely not Steve Harrington.
Dropping the twisted cord you grip the receiver in your unoccupied hand, eyes fluttering shut when you begin pumping your fingers even deeper inside yourself. Letting your thumb brush over your swollen clit as you curl your fingers up.
“Halloween,” you breathe, a low grunt sounds on the other end of the line as the male strokes his cock in tandem with each thrust of your fingers. The slick sounds reverberate softly through the receiver.
“Is that the one with the guy in the white mask who walks around stalking babysitters?” He asks, despite already knowing the answer himself.
A soft ‘mhm’ leaves you as you revel in his throaty moans.
“I liked that one… it was scary.” His voice drops an octave, Eddie unintentionally slipping into his dungeon master voice.
Keeping the cell phone tucked into his shoulder as he adjusts himself between the tree branches. Increasing the pace of his fist as he continues to watch you pleasure yourself through your window.
The movie playing out on your tv screen is now long forgotten as his deep voice is the only thing you can focus on.
“I like that thing you’re doing with your voice, Steve. It’s sexy.” You whimper, already feeling yourself teetering on the edge of bliss. No longer able to keep up the oblivious act anymore.
Eddie chuckles darkly, sending a shiver up your spine. “Oh sweetheart, this isn’t Steve.”
As much as those words should frighten you, it only seems to increase the tightening in your lower belly. The jealous edge to them causes a high pitched whine to leave your lips, pumping your fingers even faster into your dripping heat. Increasing the pressure on your clit, as the male’s deep moans fill your ears.
“God you little slut, you gonna cum f’me?” He growls, feeling his own orgasm drawing near.
His cock twitches in his rough palm as he observes your lower half lifting up off the mattress. Thighs trembling as your orgasm washes over you, milky white spilling over onto his ringed fingers.
Heavy breathing is all that is passed back and forth between the two of you for a moment, your body falling limp against the mattress.
“Fuck, you look so pretty when you cum, baby…” while it was whispered into the phone, you still heard it.
You recognized the husky voice instantly— the pretty but rugged metalhead who always gave you a discount on your weed.
Eddie Munson.
Your eyes instantly snap open, dropping the phone as you sit up. Letting your fingers slip from your drenched core as you rise to your feet. Padding over to your bedroom window and gazing out into the dark night.
You catch sight of a white ghostface mask in between the branches opposite your window. Your eyes meet as you reach back over for the phone, your juices smearing over the handle as you grab onto it. Amusement dances over your features as you tilt your head at him.
“Do you spy on all the girls you deal to, Munson?” You pause, clearly catching the male off guard, “Or am I a special case?”
Eddie doubles back, stuttering out a reply while he attempts to disguise his voice once more but it was too late— you caught him.
“I promise this isn’t what it seems, sweetheart.”
A small giggle leaves your lips as he fumbles his way down from the tree, removing the mask so he can see properly. His bangs stick to his forehead, pale skin flushed pink under the bright moonlight.
He drops the phone and his knife in his haste, the glint of the blade catches your attention. The way the sharp metal reflects in the light makes your heart race, arousal coursing through your veins. You lick your lips when he picks up the discarded items, his brown eyes meeting yours through the glass.
“I think I know why you came here, Munson…” you hum into the receiver once he returns the phone to his ear, your sultry tone causing his cock to stir in his jeans again.
“Why’s that, sweet thing?” He bites back, his dark eyes not leaving your silhouette.
“Someone wants to play psycho killer… but it looks like you need a helpless victim.”
You lean your forearms on your windowsill, noticing the way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows down a moan. His ringed fingers grip tightly onto the handle of the blade, the male now desperately hanging onto your every word.
“And I’m more than happy to oblige.”
Eddie curses, your words going straight to his now throbbing cock. There was no way he was passing you up on this offer.
“Now… tell me Mr. Ghostface, what do you want?” You feign a frightened tone as you pose the question.
His shallow breaths mingle with the static on the line, anticipation bubbling up inside you.
“I wanna know what your insides feel like.” He groans, his words sending heat straight between your legs.
You squirm when you watch him slide the mask down over his face, glancing back up at you with an almost predatory look.
“Come and find out then, freak.”
Click.
#the freak writes 🫧#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson smut#ghostface!eddie munson#perv!eddie munson#ghostface!eddie munson x reader#perv!eddie x reader
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making an insane animal crossing notion page for my friend n i, i promise im very cool
#text#its gonna have event trackers‚ critterpedia‚ collected fossils + art‚ mystery island rundowns‚ visitor + villager info......#god knows what else.#i started to really like making notion pages once i wasnt so overwhelmed with all the customization#insane acnh notion log
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#productivity#habit tracker#google sheets#excel#google sheets templates#excel template#notion#notion template#digital tools#oganization#simple#customized
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Have Your Cake
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Spencer notices a change in you that he tries to address Trope: Comfort; Established relationship w.c: 1.8k Trigger warnings: tackles eating disorder and body dysmorphia a/n: this is a really hard topic I personally felt the need to write about (in a way to comfort myself.) Its very personal as I used my past eating disorder here so if its something you’re not comfortable with, please go skip ahead to another fic. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist
Spencer wrapped the front ends of his coat tighter on his slender body. It did little to no good fending off the cool seasonal air of an October night. His scuffled loafers squeaking from his shuffling feet.
The line at your favorite bakery was unsurprisingly long on a Tuesday evening. Every night, the shop sells their remaining pastries at a discount To lure innocent commuters, tired from a long day of pushing papers. He usually wasn’t one to give in to the notion of ‘treating yourself’—unless counting out his big spendings on first editions written in its original language.
He gave the cashier a slight smile before listing off his purchase, one slice of their decadent strawberry shortcake and another of their vanilla bean sponge cake—both your favorites. And both an integral part of his perfectly thought of scheme to solve a riddle.
Your mystery.
In simple layman’s terms, they were bribery of some sort.
“Thank you,” he muttered under his breath, side stepping his way out from the throng of customers holding their own trays of pastries and back into the cold October air.
He blamed himself for not noticing the change in patterns early on. His attention otherwise preoccupied by the trauma from his time in prison and the stares that vary from judgement to pity that come from officers outside of the BAU.
No longer was he the shining, new prodigy once hailed to be, now he was just damaged goods. His downfall from grace was an adjustment.
His mind was another matter, all together—could no longer detect subtle shifts in behavior as fast as he used to.
Yes, there was really no one else to blame but himself.
As his long strides covered the way home, the moon shining down on the empty streets, Spencer thought back to the moment when he finally noticed you eating less and less.
———
You pulled down the cuffs of Spencer’s Caltech sweater, leaving only the tips of your fingers peeking through. Everything about it made you self-conscious. How it drapes down your shoulders differently from before. How it wraps around your body, sending shivers down your spine. And how it leaves the lower half of your plush thighs exposed for anyone to see—anyone to judge.
You hated it.
You hated how hyper aware a single comment from a distant relative made you feel.
**
A voice from a distance called out your name causing you to look around the aisles of grocery and come face to face with an aunt, twice removed from your father’s side.
“It is you!” She leaned in to kiss your cheek. Her choice of perfume, a sickly sweet artificial scent of oranges, wafting on your nose.
It made you want to gag.
A fake smile donned your face. “Oh, hi Auntie. What a surprise to see you back in Virginia.”
“Oh, I just flew in for my husband’s sister’s birthday. You know how we are, always booked and busy with events,” she waved her hand, the ostentatious diamond ring on her finger catching the light. “I haven’t seen you since you graduated college. You look so different now—more and more like your mother.”
“Thanks, I always did look like her,” you awkwardly laughed.
Her eyes traveled down to your feet and back up again, a tight grin on her face. It made her look vicious, condescending, causing you to catch your breath as she uttered the words that would repeat in your head like a commercial slogan you can’t get away from.
“But you were much prettier when you were thinner—” her eyebrow raised, cataloguing the items in your cart. “Might want to cut down on the carbs a little bit, sweetie.”
She poked a wound inside of you that never seemed to fully heal.
You thought you were better, all those years of talking to your therapist and changing your relationship with food for the better made you believe those dark days were behind you. But those spitting phrases veiled as words of care from a family member amplified the doubts once buried in the recesses of your mind.
“I’ll keep that in mind. It was great seeing you, Auntie.”
**
The jiggling of keys brought you back to the present.
“Love, I’m home!”
You called back from the kitchen, finishing up plating tonight’s dinner—a fresh serving of Chicken Alfredo to share. “In here, Spence!”
With a saccharine smile on his tired but beautiful face, he wrapped his arms around your shoulder for a loving hug. His pillowy lips leaving trails of kisses from your temples, to your nose, to your cheeks, and finally landing on your awaiting lips.
You giggled at his antics. “I missed you today.”
“I missed you too,” another peck on the lips. “Dinner looks amazing. Thank you for cooking.”
“It’s no problem at all, you know how much I like to cook for you.”
He brought up a mystery package to showcase, eyes tracking every minuscule change on your face. “And I brought us some dessert! Your favorites from the bakery.”
The smile on your face threatened to drop. “That’s—that’s great!”
———
You felt Spencer’s eyes on you all throughout dinner. One of the disadvantages of dating a man who earns his living by understanding human behavior and its changes—triggers, as he would like to call it, is never having the leisure of keeping a secret.
He means well, you‘d like to believe so, but that didn’t change the fact he knew something was bothering you.
It made you feel like a riddle he wanted to solve. It made you want to scream and cry.
The only reprieve you could get was within the little confines of your shared bathroom, water beating down your back muffling the sobs that escaped from your tightly pressed lips.
Everything felt too much.
The devil voices in your head listing off the calories each spoonful contains. The mathematical equation of how long you’d need to exercise to lose every unnecessary bite eaten over dinner. And the facade of keeping everything together—everything perfect.
You picked off the sides of your nails, already raw and starting to bleed.
Maybe you shouldn’t eat breakfast and lunch tomorrow. Maybe you should walk the 15 minute commute from here to the office. It would take 30 minutes but that’s additional exerc—
“Love, is everything alright?” Spencer asked behind the locked bathroom door.
You turned, turning off the shower, before hurriedly toweling off the droplets all over your hair and body. “Yes, I’m—I’m almost done!”
Swiveling around the dry area, you realized you forgot to bring in a change of clothes beyond a clean pair of underwear.
You sighed to yourself as you wrapped the towel around your chest. Still feeling uncomfortable and oddly naked even then.
“Spence, there’s still some hot water left—are you okay?” You ask, having found him sitting on the edge of the bed with a distinct frown on his face.
He stood up. Hands on your waist, shuffling both your bodies closer to one corner of bedroom.“It’s just—you know how much I deeply care for you, right?”
You slowly answered. “Yes, of course. I deeply care for you too.”
“So I have to ask, are you alright? Really alright?”
“Wha—what do you mean? Of course, I am—I’m completely fine,” you vehemently denied. The lump on your throat making you sound hysterical, even in your ears. If you couldn’t fool yourself, what chances were there that Spencer was fooled—none.
“I’ve noticed you’ve been eating smaller portions lately and you didn’t even take a bite of the cakes I brought home. You’ve also been going to the gym daily, instead of your usual five times a week. And you’ve started wearing my clothes more—not that it’s a problem. I love seeing you in my clothes but you’ve started to prefer baggy silhouettes rather than your usuals. It’s like you’re hiding your body. Are you sure you’re alright? You can tell me anything, I won’t judge.”
It was the soft tone in his voice mixed with his doe, teary eyes that caused you to break under pressure. Your shoulders shook as sobs that you’ve kept bottled up rose to the surface. It was a wave of emotions that battered through your dam of facade.
“I hate how I look—I hate that I gained weight,” you cried out. “I hate how a relative pointed it out and how her words won’t leave my mind. I hate it, Spence. I loathe it all—the voices in my head whispering how I should keep track of every meal I eat in a notebook like I did before. Telling me to never go beyond a 800 calories per day, to workout two hours a day twice! It’s just—” you took a deep breath, vision blurring from tears. “—so exhausting and please, make it stop.”
Spencer hugged you tight to his chest, as if wanting to merge you two as one to take away all your pain and sorrow. Your hands creasing his white button down with a grip so tight.
For a second, it felt liberating to let it all out. But the fleeting emotion had passed, leaving you with only shame from your admittance.
“I’m so sorry you feel that way,” he detangled himself, enough to stare into your eyes. “Love, can I show you something?”
You nodded. He slowly turned you around, back against his chest, to face the full length mirror tucked in the corner. His eyes never leaving yours as his calloused fingers reached up to the tucked ends of the towel wrapped around your body. He tilted his head, asking for your permission to which you slowly nodded.
Your naked body was in full view. Your nails digging onto your palm as you catalogued every minuscule flaw there is—the additional flesh around your stomach and sides and your hips no longer as thin as they were before.
“Do you know what I see?” He softly asked.
You bit your lip before shutting your eyes close, unable to take what was right in front of you. “Me and how I gained weight?”
He placed a kiss on your temple. “No. I see a beautiful adult woman who has curves in all the right places—”
He laid a kiss on your cheek. “I see the love of my life in her full loving glory—”
He kissed the side of your neck. “I see my future wife who loves herself and all the changes that aging and our slowing metabolism entails—”
He placed one last kiss on your shoulder. “—I see you, and I love every piece of you. And I hope you love every part as much as I do.”
Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#spencer reid comfort#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine
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── .✦ [ FIC ]: can i really stay here? ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
mullet stanley pines x innkeeper reader
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, sfw
word count: 1426
˙✧˖° ༘ ⋆。˚
nothing could have prepared you for the man who walked through the front door of the inn that day.
he looked like death, his chocolate hair tangled, his square jaw riddled with bruises and dirt. heavy eyes fixed themselves upon your figure.
"you got a spare room?"
that voice, gravelly and low, betrayed the exhaustion that plagued this mysterious stranger. you couldn't help but stare for a moment, lost in thought.
"i ... ah, yes, of course. just a room for one?"
your hands swiftly moved to ring him up, pressing a few buttons on the cash register. the man visibly reacted to the metallic sounds of the register, an expression of mild panic settling in.
"yeah ..." he dug through his pockets, patting himself over until he secured a grip on his wallet. pulling it out, he flipped it open, revealing nothing but an ID and a few sticks of gum. he clicked his tongue, defeated. "... this is embarrassing."
it was evident that something wasn't right with him; he looked as if he could collapse at any given moment. should you just deny him service and let him leave? what if he just got himself into deeper trouble? was he even in his right mind?
there was a fleeting moment of awkward silence as the two of you avoided eye contact. you took a sharp breath in.
"... tell me, sir, what's your name?"
his bushy brows rose in surprise. "er ... stan. stan pines." stan gave you a once-over, pulling a sly smirk despite his run-down appearance. "why? ya like what you see?"
a sort of scoffing chuckle left your lips. "this isn't really the time for jokes ..." your eyes trailed down to his stained jacket, torn-up jeans, and over worn shoes. at that, he laughed, which quickly turned into a painful cough. the concern became more evident on your face.
"-ah, you're right, of course. nobody would really want a guy like me, yeah?"
you couldn't bring yourself to respond to that. you could see the storm in his eyes.
turning your back to the counter, you picked up a key that was hanging from the wall, holding it out to him as you met his confused gaze.
"room 34. your stay will be on the house tonight, sir."
"... you're pullin' my leg."
"no, i'm perfectly serious."
hesitantly, he reached out his hand to take the key. your fingers brushed against his rough skin briefly before you pulled your arm back.
stan simply stood there, still processing what had just been given to him. he'd tried this before with numerous other places, and they'd all shut him down. he'd been through ... how many, four, five different states by now? finally, a night where he doesn't have to sleep in his car. the notion of spending a night in an actual bed ... seemed unreal.
"well, i ... damn. th-thanks, toots." he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. a faint shade of pink rose to his cheeks, which he attempted to play off by staring at the ground.
how long had it been since anyone had shown him this kind of generosity?
unsure of what to do, he decided to make his way over to his room, locating the staircase and climbing up, stealing a glance back at you. you watched him ascend the stairs, leaning your arms against the counter.
your mind continued to race. the man looked like he'd just been in a fight. did he have wounds that needed treatment? did he have any place to go? ... of course, those were all personal questions that you knew you shouldn't ask about. he is only a customer ... at least you could offer him somewhere to crash for the night.
it had been two hours.
two hours, and yet, you still couldn't get him off your mind.
you figured you might be able to offer him some dinner.
or was that just you trying to come up with an excuse to see him again? you didn't think about it too hard.
making your way over to the kitchen, you had the chef prep a single serving of food, laying it out on a tray which you picked up and began to walk with. the carpeted floor softened the sound of your footsteps.
arriving at the end of the hall, you stood in front of the door labeled "34", hesitating. you steeled your nerves and knocked gently on its wooden surface.
a few moments passed. you could hear the sound of rustling fabric and footsteps as stan made his way over to the door, opening it and observing his visitor. he was dressed in a bathrobe, his hair damp and his face looking much cleaner than before.
"sorry if i came at a bad time. i just figured you might want a bite to eat." you averted your eyes by glancing to the tray of food you held, a faint blush rising to your face.
twinkling lights began to glisten in place of the dark storm you'd seen in him before. his expression softened in disbelief, and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
eventually, he spoke.
"why are you doing this?"
"... what do you mean?"
"i mean, you're wastin' your good food 'nd room. you deserve your money-"
he cut himself off, swallowing back a bitter feeling in his throat.
"-i ... i need to ... pay it back."
oh. is he ... crying?
you could feel your heart wrench in your chest. "s-stan. it's okay."
he furiously blinked back tears, taking a deep breath and putting on a weary grin. "will ya keep that food hot for me? i'm just gonna get dressed. i think i'll eat it downstairs."
"oh, of course."
"thanks a bunch." he winked at you, then shut the door, leaving you to stare at the room label again. you blinked, then turned around to head back down.
after some time of waiting in the kitchen, you caught the sight of him descending the staircase and walking over to you. he was wearing a different shirt, although his jacket and jeans were the same. his hair was dry and much poofier now that it was clean. you caught yourself staring at his mullet.
"didja wait for too long?" stan pulled out a stool from the bar, taking a seat and watching as you put his plate of food in front of him.
"nah, you're okay." you offered a small smile. "feel free to dig in."
and boy, did he dig in. this man hasn't had a proper meal in forever. his daily diet has consisted of strictly rationed cheap snacks and the occasional stolen burger and fries. you swore you've never seen a guy so happy to eat something before in your life. somehow, watching him was making you feel warm inside.
"this ... is the best food i ever tasted." stan mumbled, looking up at you in between bites. all sorts of different emotions were raging inside of him, and the feeling of being properly nourished was bringing them up to the surface. his brown eyes began to overflow with tears, and he cursed underneath his breath, eating more aggressively to try and distract himself.
"uh, stan? are you alright?"
that was the last straw. his brows knit together and he swallowed his food, dropping his fork onto the plate. the tears were flowing freely now.
"no. dammit, i'm not alright."
stan covered his face with one arm, his broad frame trembling as he choked back bitter sobs.
"it's just that ... m-my parents, and i ... s-see- and my brother-"
he hunched over, shifting to cover his face with both hands. everything was crashing down.
"oh, God, my brother ..."
you walked out from behind the bar, making your way over to where he sat and taking the seat next to him. you didn't really think at all, you just slid your arm around his back and-
the instant he felt your touch, stanley clung onto you desperately.
onto somebody who was showing him hospitality. onto somebody who cared enough to worry about his health. onto somebody unlike anybody else he'd met these past few years.
burying his face into your shoulder, he pulled you closer against him.
"'m sorry ... don't leave me alone."
the wetness of his tears soaked into your shirt, but you didn't mind. here in your arms was a little boy who just needed a hug.
you barely knew each other, but you had a feeling that was going to change.
"don't worry, i'm not going anywhere."
end
[ part two ]
#this guy needs some love#gravity falls#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls fic#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#mullet stan#mullet stanley#sfw#angst#hurt/comfort#stanley pines x reader#stanley pines x you#avcdgrdn fic
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⨳ ʾ apps/sites 4 shifting . ♡
hi! this will be long but i made a list of apps/sites that might be helpful for your shifting journey. reminder that you don't need these to shift but they can be helpful with manifesting, keeping track of stuff, etc.
enjoy! divider cr
NOT SPONSORED BTW LMAO
﹒ ⊹ 🝮 OO1: NOTION ✩
description:
basically notion is an app for documents and stuff. i have to say this one's relatively known and it's such a huge life saver and i know that probably everyone knows about it already (as they should) but i'm gonna recommend it once again.
useful for:
scripting
dashboards you can add life goals & stuff here you can look up some templates/ideas and see what i mean LOL
cons:
i personally can not think of any major ones because this app is just that good
you do have to make new accounts for the text ai generating feature but i don't know if anyone would use that
additional notes:
i personally love how customizable it is! like you can make each page have a custom icon & header, add widgets, images, and so much more. it is so so so insanely helpful for scripting i'm telling you. or you can just be basic, that works too. there's also a bunch of script templates online including specific ones (like a better cr, fame dr, fantasy dr, fandom-specific drs, bla bla bla) and it's literally the only thing shifttok is good for imo. i'm a big fan of shifterium's templates but there's other people who make them as well and i'm sure you can find some recommendations!
★ ₊ ➲ OO2: CANVA
description:
a website + app where you can design stuff from headers down to presentations, posters, covers, etc..
useful for:
album covers for singer/idol drs
book covers for writer drs or something
fake social media posts but there's better apps out there and i'll list them here as well
and much more!
cons:
a lot of things (most of which i think are the good stuff) are paid but you can find similar replicas if you scroll long enough i guess..?? and there's a free trial but i don't know if that helps
additional notes:
definitely my favorite place to go when i need to design something tbh. there's a bunch of templates you can use and the layout is very easy to navigate through! and it's pretty easy to find free alternatives for the paid stuff you do have in there
₍ⁿ⑅..ⁿ₎ ˇ ⩩ OO3: PARROT ❀
description:
parrot is an app where you can record yourself saying literally anything and play it on a continuous loop
useful for:
affirmations (manifesting??)
cons:
i'm pretty sure it's iOS only
additional notes:
personally i haven't used this app (i don't like my voice so i will not be recording myself saying affirmations thank yew) so i can't give it a rating but from the looks of it and based off of recommendations i've seen it's pretty useful. should be a white icon with a pink circle that has a white parrot in it!
≥≤ ﹕ ⤷ OO4: BEHINDTHENAME ◍
description:
a site where you can generate names & even life stories if you choose it (including height, weight, blood type, birthday, nationality and more i think?? at least it gives those for me). you can choose from different cultures and stuff like fantasy & mythology.
useful for:
finding a name & info for your dr self (which is literally you by the way don't forget that!) and potentially other people you'd like to script in
cons:
it really just helps to make a basic profile of a person so the things you can do with it can be a little limited
additional notes:
i prefer using this site for ocs instead but i think it can definitely help with shifting! oddly enough it also shows like a lifespan & cause of death so.. cool i guess!!!!
✦ ﹕ OO5: SOCIAL MAKER/dummy
description:
social maker & social dummy are both apps where you can replicate almost basically anything from the internet from twitter posts to facebook posts, youtube posts, and more!
useful for:
social media stuff especially useful for fame drs, streamer drs, idol/singer drs and so much more
cons:
both apps were deleted so you have to have had installed them before if you want to get them back
social maker is ios only i think?
additional notes:
yeah both apps are deleted but there's alternatives out there like twinote (for twitter) photonote (for instagram) canva (has fake social media templates as i said lol) and others that you can look for (because i personally only use twinote)
⋆ ᶻᶻ OO6: HELLOFACE ﹒ ★
description:
basically an app for ai face swapping
useful for:
seeing what your face claim (if you have one) would look like on for example dances, fancams, interviews definitely useful for idol/singer/maybe fame drs
cons:
uses ai (i'm personally not a big fan of ai)
pretty underground so the chances that you might not like it are not low
✭ ❒︎ OO7: ROOM PLANNER . ♡
description:
basically what the name says. it's a 3d home designer
useful for:
making your dr room/house
visualizing your dr room/house
cons:
has paid stuff
┊ ‧ ⬭ OO8: COMBYNE
description:
an app where you can combine items you like from a wide selection of stuff to make outfits!
useful for:
making outfits for your dr
visualizing said outfits
additional notes:
there's other things you can do on the app like challenges where you can compete to make the best outfit i think?? looks pretty fun i might try it HAHAHA
yuh so i got a little lazy here at the end & i know this is prolly not very helpful because most of these apps/sites are pretty well known but maybe just maybe.. i helped someone out...
HAPPY SHIFTING!!!!!
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shifting realities#shifting community#shifters#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting diary#siyzuii
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the story
pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader
w/c: 3.5k+
summary: the weeks following bucky ordering that steve be your bodyguard, followed by an insightful night at a gala with your beloved husband.
warnings: mention of the incident with john (groping), slight threats of violence, mention of fear, lip on lip action (the upstairs ones), if i've missed anything please let me know!!
a/n: hiii! the third installment of my forever? series! i didn't even intend for this to be more than one part, but you guys have inspired me to write more for it! my writing schedule is a bit off since i recently started a new job, but i'll try to be a bit consistent with it. i hope you guys enjoy this next part, more to come!
part 2 -> control
the first few weeks with steve as a bodyguard wasn’t too bad. he was actually kinda funny in a grandpa kinda way, and he was an amazing listener. you had bounced a few ideas for your book off of him and he seemed to be very intrigued by some of the plot points you had planned. he even promised to be one of the first customers, right behind bucky (which you may have rolled your eyes at), of course, as long as he was promised a signed copy.
but, at the two month mark you began to miss your independence. of course, the chef bucky had hired was amazing and had years of experience in italian cuisine, but sometimes a girl just wanted some greasy smash burger to chow down on. most nights you ate alone with steve until bucky walked through the front door.
he always seemed beaten down and tired, as though work was more straining than usual. he would shrug his jacket off, place it on the hook by the door, then his shoes on the rack, and walk upstairs to shower before coming downstairs to eat as you and steve were finishing your plates. you tried your best to start conversation, to be the best company you could but eventually the silence always grew awkward and steve would usher you to go upstairs to your room with a pressed smile.
after two months of not really needing to show you off i any way, there was an important gala for him to attend. of course, that means that you were to be his beloved arm candy for the night.
“buck sent me the address for a local boutique that he thinks would be right up your alley,” steve read from his phone as you took a stroll in the garden that was full of beautiful colors. “the appointment is at 3:45, so we have plenty of time to get ready and head there too. oh and he says you should get something in that one shade of green… i’m assuming you know what that is?” his brows raise in confusion, as your mirror his in a stunned expression.
“surprisingly, i do know what he means for once.” about six weeks before the wedding, you had spent an all nighter with him amidst all of the chaotic planning.
“accent colors are super important! right now, all we have is an off white color, and while it’s a good color, i don’t want my wedding to wash everyone out that much,” you shoved his side as you sprawled your binders out on the coffee table.
“i say… green,” he says after pondering for a minute.
“green… like tree green?” you chuckled at the notion.
“i mean the green that’s light yet earthy, not too dark but not scream-in-your-face bright. it’s beautiful. plus, i think you’d look stunning in it,” he shrugs casually as if he hadn’t described a mundane color in such an alluring way.
“so a sage green?”
“maybe more on the jade green side,” he tried to hide a smile as his thumb began to mindly trace nonsense on your thigh.
there was such elegance in the way he described the simple color, as if saying light green wouldn’t have sufficed. clearly, there was a significance to the mundane shade that he felt the need to recommend it.
but you knew not to ask anything further to pry, doubting his readiness to comply so easily so early in your relationship. while it was during the happiest days of your relationship, you still knew he held you at arms length.
at the appointment, you had found several dresses in the perfect color, but only one stood out to you after trying them on. steve was also a good guide in ensuring you were choosing the right one, although you’re sure he would just say every dress looked good regardless.
growing up, you’d read about a love that was so encapsulating that one would rather face death than be without their lover. you’d yearned for that kind of love. the kind of love that was consuming and irreversible. the kind of love where your partner wouldn’t love you in spite of your flaws, but because of them.
and now you were married to a man who didn’t seem to feel an ounce of that towards you. sure, the months leading up to your wedding made it seem otherwise. it made you hopeful that he could maybe grow to love you, as you could grow to love him.
because truthfully, it was hard to see many flaws in the man, other than those that were rumored in the tabloids. you’d read or heard of his anger issues and his lack of patience but abundance of irritability. yet all you’d observed is his laughter, his diligence and compassion.
it was definitely confusing to want to believe these two contradicting tales of composure, but ultimately seeing is believing. you’d decided to believe whatever he showed you, what was right in front of his face rather than believe whatever was whispered in your ear. besides, if something was worth believing it should be said with their full chest rather than in such a low tone.
-
“almost ready?” bucky’s low voice rang through the door as you were doing finishing touches on your hair, making sure you looked as presentable as possible.
“i just have to put the dress on, and i’ll be ready to go!” you replied, unzipping the bag that the dress came in, even though you suggested that doing so was overkill.
“let me know if you need any help.” you heard a thud from the other side that suggested that he was leaning against the door, waiting to hear if you did happen to need any assistance.
you replied in silence, just stepping into the dress and lifting the straps over your shoulders. it was such a beautifully made gown, truly. it hugged you in the most flattering places, accentuating just the right amount without flaunting too much. the material felt like a warm hug from a lifelong friend, you almost never wanted to take it off.
the only downside was the damn zipper. it was a bit rough to pull over your hips alone, but once you reached your mid back it seemed to reach a snagging stop. you twisted your arms every way possible, trying to avoid the totally cliche scene of calling him in to zip you up.
alas, the universe had other plans for you. although, how much could you complain when that would mean his rough, yet gentle hands would be against your skin…
“...bucky?” your voice meekly called out, trying to interrupt your own thoughts from spiralling down the path you wanted them to so bad.
“yea?” his voice piped up, seeming to jump an octave or two in the process. maybe you jst startled him.
“could you maybe help me zip this thing up?” you became quiet before the twisting of your doorknob broke the silence. “my arms can’t quite contort the way they need to in order to zip this all the way…” you refused to meet his eyes as he trailed inside the room.
the first sign of his presence was his hands grasping your shoulders, lightly tracing down your arms. then he leaned down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, more affectionate than he’d been the entire duration of your marriage without it being prompted.
“you look beautiful,” he pressed another kiss to your other shoulder before letting his hands fall to a respectable place on your waist, stepping back to seemingly find where the zipper got stuck. “but what’s new, right?”
you chuckled at the compliment.
“what’ve you been doing recently?” you asked meekly. “i haven’t seen you much at all since steve started his new gig as my babysitter.”
he sighed, stopping his antics to clarify what he felt he needed to. “he’s not a babysitter. he’s my best friend, and the only person i trust to look after the woman that i-the woman that i married, okay?” you felt his deep breathing on your neck before he continued, “i don’t know where john is yet. john is notorious for taking whatever he thinks is his and that night he made it very clear what he believed.” he turned you around to face him, the dress’ zipper be damned. “if anything happens to you… just the thought keeps me up at night. i need you to understand,” his voice was desperate, pleading almost.
you understood what he was saying. at least, you were pretty sure you did. men in positions of power like bucky typically saw the people around them as pawns. part of you thinks that he’s saying all of this as the controlling, possessive boss man bucky. and that’s the large part of you. but the small part of you, the part of you that still believes in that fairytale love you used to read about, believes that maybe he’s saying all of this because he does feel something for you… something real.
but that part of you is like… 15 percent. maybe 20…
“i understand,” you nodded, meeting his eyes and seeing desperation, fear. seeing fear radiating from a man that projects a version of himself that’s fearless is a scary thing.
“good,” he nodded, his eye contact faltering to the dress that clung to your body. “you look indescribable, i’m a lucky man to call you mine.” once again, he grasped your shoulders to turn you around.
this time, he promptly found the zipper, his metal hand tracing nonsensical patterns on your shoulder as he zipped the dress with his flesh one.
“all done,” he pressed a lingering kiss to your right shoulder. “my beautiful bride.” you wanted to believe him.
“thank you,” you took a deep breath as you turned to face him. “so, tonight… what should i be expecting?” “well, there are a few people i’ll introduce you to, and a few i have to talk to. but i’ll be with you the whole time,” he pressed his hands into his pockets. “i scheduled a car to take us, and we have about 10 minutes before it should get here.”
“so we’ll be playing the roles of loving wife and doting husband?” you nudged his shoulder before you went to grab your shoes.
“playing? this is all real, sweetheart,” he took the shoes from your hands, promptly dropping to his knees.
“what are you-”
“i’m putting your shoes on, my love.” you chuckled before he guided your hand to his shoulder. “gonna want to hold on.” he picked up one of your legs by your calf, grabbing the correct shoe before slowly placing your foot inside and doing the same for your other shoe.
meanwhile, you were stuck staring down at him like a lovesick idiot. this behemoth of a man was beneath you treating you like a princess by putting your heels on for you. what the hell kind of alternate universe have you entered and how can you never leave?
“well, aren’t you a romantic?” you cleared your throat as he remained on his knees, a sight you could get used to.
“don’t let the news spread around town,” he chuckled as he let your remaining foot hit the ground but not without pressing a kiss to your ankle. “i can’t have others knowing how enamored i am by you, can we?” “enamored?” you chuckled out. “what a word,” you shook your head as you helped him to his feet.
“the perfect word.” he trailed his hand to a loose strand of hair, twirling it around his flesh fingers before he sighed, “the car should be here soon. we should head downstairs for it.”
it was a 45 minute ride there. you sat in a respectable silence, this time it wasn’t as awkward as it has been in the past. upon arrival, the door was swiftly opened for you, bucky getting out first and then offering his hand to help you step out. the first thirty minutes of the gala went very similarly. he would introduce you to a new face or say ‘hello’ to a familiar one, wrap his arm snugly around your waist before pressing a kiss to your cheek and move on to the next person.
for a bunch of folks in banking and finance, everything seemed very high stakes. there seemed to be walls up all around you, from each man and woman you said a brief hello to or were meeting for the first time. everyone had decided to adorn a mask for the night, or maybe the mask was a semi-permanent fixture. maybe they’d worn the mask for so long they forgot how to function without one. you hoped you wouldn’t face the same fate.
to be doomed to fake face for so long that you no longer remember what was once real. you wanted something real, even if what you and bucky had was technically fake when you were in public. something about what happened behind closed doors when nobody was around gave you the illusion that part of it was real.
“have i told you how ravishing you look tonight?” bucky held you close as you swayed to the soft melody. his metal hand was clutching your waist, his flesh hand holding your own.
“i think in different words, yes,” you both began to laugh at his flattery. “you don’t have to keep doing that, y’know? the compliments and everything… i think people get the idea that this is real by now.”
“you don’t get it, do you?” he shook his head before he moved his vibranium hand to your chin, nudging it up for you to meet his eyes.
“get what?”
“buck,” steve’s voice interrupted your dance, but that didn’t stop bucky from pulling you taut to his side.
steve leaned in to whisper in his ear, but you were able to tell by his stone cold expression that whatever message that was being relayed to him wasn’t as delightful as the desserts from tonight.
“when?” you barely registered bucky’s low voice over the music.
steve went back to whispering in his ear and it wasn’t until he pulled back that you wanted to speak up, “what’s going on?”
bucky looked down to you, and when you looked into his eyes, what you saw was very similar to your earlier conversation with him. this time, however, there seemed to be anger buried beneath the stoic traces of fear. that’s when it clicked.
“did they find him?” his jaw clenched and unclenched.
“you told her about-”
“i told her what she deserves to know,” bucky interrupted steve’s accusatory tone. “you don’t get to question me or the decisions i make, especially not when those decisions are in regards to my wife.”
you weren’t sure if bucky was defending you or himself with the way he jumped on steve’s gears.
“okay, got it,” steve rse his hands in defense before he nodded.
“what steve was telling me was in regards to him, yes,” bucky clarified. “but it’s nothing important for you to need to know. you don’t have to worry about it, my love,” he let his flesh hand play with that same strand of hair as earlier as he looked down at you like his prized possession.
oh yea, you almost forgot. that’s what you are to him. his trophy wife, as much as you hate that phrase.
“when can we go home?” a shiver ran down your spine. what would john even do if he did get his hands on you? was he actually as bad as bucky made him seem, or was he worse? you gripped bucky’s arm tighter as thoughts raced through your brain.
“hey,” he turned to face you again, his eyes no longer reflecting anger or fear but tenderness. “if you want to leave, we’ll leave. steve can get the car,” he turned briefly to steve who nodded before walking off, “we can talk on the way home. i can tell how many questions are running through that pretty head of yours right now. but i can assure you,” he cupped your face in his hands, and the contrast between the cold metal and the warm flesh was oddly grounding, “as long as your with me, or steve for that matter, you won’t have anything to worry about. i would do anything it takes to keep you safe.”
you nodded, pressing your lips together in a fine line, maybe a bit of doubt running in your head at the lengths he would go to in order to protect you. would he really go to the lengths necessary? would his hand be forced to do that?
“how bad would it be if i admitted that i was scared right now?” you couldn’t meet his eyes as you admitted it.
“it’s not bad at all. in fact, i understand. i just hope that you know that this is why steve is watching out for you now,” he dropped his hands to your shoulders, down your arms to hold your hands.
“will you-would you be up for staying with me tonight?” you popped the question, almost scared of his answer. “like… like you did that night? i don’t really want to be alone tonight.”
“you don’t have to explain,” he smiled. “of course i’ll stay with you.”
the ride home was similar to the ride there, but this time with your head rested on his chest, his arms wrapped snugly around you. you’re sure he thought you were asleep when he pressed a kiss to your forehead. it also wasn’t beneath you to say you liked when he did it…
so much so that you apparently did fall sleep. when you woke up, it was wrapped in strong arms. you strained your neck to look at the clock beside your bed, the one that read 2:35 am. turning in bed to look at bucky, you realized you’d never seen him so peaceful. his hair had grown out a bit long, evident by the way it laid across his forehead.
when you moved the few locks of hair from his forehead, he began to stir awake.
“shhh,” you hummed softly. “it’s just me. sorry i woke you.”
“don’t be sorry,” his raspy voice was alluring this early in the morning, or was it late? “i don’t think i’ve slept this good since… well, since that night.”
“are you a secret cuddler, mr. barnes?” you smiled as he pulled you in a smidge tighter as he replied.
“and what if i am?” “there are no complaints coming from me,” he pressed yet another kiss to yourforehead, then your cheek, your other cheek, and then you pulled back to look in his eyes again.
the only light that was peaking through was from the hallway underneath the door, but that didn’t stop you from being able to see the bright smile decorating his face, a rare sight to see.
“how bad would it be if i admitted that i really wanted to kiss you right now?” his thumb trailed across your bottom lip, gently pulling it down and watching it bounce back into place.
“it’s not bad at all,” you let your eyes find his lips before looking into his eyes once more.
he made the first move, taking his flesh hand and cupping your face before he softly met your lips with his. every other kiss you’d had with him had been for show, cameras or people around to witness and aww at the romantic antics of the newlyweds. this one wasn’t for show. this was purely authentic. gentle, soft, delicate. for a man like bucky, you figured he wasn’t like this very often. this was a side of him not many other people got the privilege of witnessing.
he was precise in his movements, every swipe of his tongue and every placement his hand made was deliberate, yet he was so tender. the soft grasp of your hair, the easy glide of his hand that began to hold your waist. it was all so consuming, in the best way possible. in the way that you wanted to drown in his presence.
when you sweeped one of your legs over his, now perched on his lap, you felt him smile against your lips.
“you’re astounding,” he breathed into you. “breathtaking,” he rearranged his hips, accidentally brushing his hardon against your center. “shit.”
“sorry,” you smiled against him as you pulled back, resting your forehead against his.
“nothin’ to apologize for,” he shook his head with a laugh. “i mean, you are my wife an’ all.”
“i know, but,” taking a deep breath, you tried to figure out how to word what you wanted to say to him. you came up with nothing. “i don’ know. it’s different. we haven’t necessarily been the most affectionate since our wedding.”
“i didn’t think you wanted anything more,” his face shone with disbelief. “i didn’t want you to think you were forced to be ‘affectionate’ with me. you didn’t really want to marry me in the first place. i realize that.”
were you not this puppet in his master show? some play thing for him to own and display whenever he pleased? had every story you’d heard about him been nothing but that… just stories? could this story of you and him have a happy ending?
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MTV Video Music Awards | September 11, 2024
Monse Fall/Winter 2024 custom
For Future Reference Vintage 'Omega Chain' - no longer available
Rainbow K Jewelry ‘Diamond Horn Earring’ - € 7215.00 Ali Weiss Jewelry ‘Baby Pave Hoop With 2 Diamond Drop’ - $375.00 Grown Brilliance ‘Emerald and Heart Lab Grown Diamond Two Stone Stud Earrings’ - $1,895.00
Lizzie Mandler Jewelry ‘Pave Knife Edge Bracelet’ - $13,665.00 Mateo New York ‘Carabiner Bracelet’ - $300.00 Mateo New York ‘Lock Link Bracelet’ - $350.00 Rainbow K Jewelry ‘Diamond Horn Bangle’ - €18,575.00
Ali Weiss Jewelry ‘Thin Gold Band With 5 Diamonds’ - $650.00 Jade Ruzzo ‘Tennessee Drop Ring in Demantoid Garnet’ - $5,600.00 Retrouvai ‘Platinum Magna Ring’ - price upon request Grown Brilliance‘Marquise Lab Grown Diamond Eternity Band’ - $2,190.00
A brief moment of pride for me because I happened to predict a different look from this exact same collection for the MTV VMAs. I'll take the win! Taylor changed partway through the show, shedding her tartan Dior look for a party look that was easier for her to dance in but still retained a high shine award show appeal. While Taylor's look is obviously custom, the tapestry alien print and buckle detail are clear riffs from the Monse FW2024 runway. This was a fun and flirty mid-show change that reminded me of her strategy at the 2022 MTV EMAs. Though for that award show, there was a clearer throughline between both her looks as they were by the same designer - David Koma. Here, there isn't as obvious a connect between the two aesthetics. Although perhaps it's the notion of translating older notions of art into surreal, modern takes. With Dior, an ode to the secret messages Mary Queen of Scots embroidered in her clothes and with this Monse look, reimagining the antique tapestry to feature futuristic visions of alien invasion. Which feels very "Down Bad" in imagery.
For her second look of the evening, Taylor swapped out her singular pair of Lorraine Schwartz earrings (a go-to jeweler for her red carpet looks) and tapped into one of her style pillars: indie designers.
The mix of metals feels very Taylor - she often swaps between gold and silver and looks equally great in both, lucky her. Though I did most appreciate the silver tying in to the buckle detail on her Monse dress.
Of all her jewels, the piece that most caught my eye is Jade Ruzzo's ‘Tennessee’ ring. I spoke to the designer and she described the Tennessee as her “signature” collection, inspired by her late father who was a drummer. “I designed the Tennessee ring, the first piece from the collection, while in Tennessee,” she told me. “Tennessee has a heart and soul that I felt I could literally hear a beat to - it felt like it moved.” Jade translated the kinetic energy she felt in the city into a hand bezel ring with hanging gemstones that create a subtle movement - “as if [the stones] are dancing on each piece.” She added, “I wanted the movement to be subtle enough that it felt Iike soft steady music throughout the day.“ What an appropriate thing for Taylor, who calls Tennessee her home, to wear.
Photo by John Shearer via Getty Images
#taylor swift#award#dress#jewelry#rainbow k#ali weiss#for future reference#mateo#grown brilliance#lizzie mandler#jade ruzzo#retrouvai#monse#september 2024#mtv vma
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