#cus they’re both here I guess?

[quotidianish]

Trans tf2 again, what no content variety does to an mf

[ventismacchiato]

O8.5 stuck with you — idols inferno !

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

YAE MIKO: Welcome cuties to "Idols Inferno," or I², where idols ignite sparks in a tropical paradise! Here’s a comprehensive guide on how our upcoming and hot dating show will unfold!

1. Island Oasis: Our contestants, members from two different idol groups, DELUSION AND WINDBLUME, will embark on a journey to a stunning island getaway. They'll leave behind the glamor of the stage to immerse themselves in the raw beauty of nature.

idols inferno island! doesn’t seem like much…

2. Living Arrangements: While they compete for hearts, our idols reside in a cozy dormitory area. Each contestant will be able to enjoy their own private rooms, but will be sharing a dorm building with all the other contestants. Don’t get too excited, these dorms are designed to be as uncomfortable as morally possible in order to motivate our idols to work harder for the rewards!

an adjustment from the life our idols are used to!

3. Survival and Romance: Here’s the twist! Our idols aren’t just here for love—they’re also here to survive. From beachside cookouts to forging alliances, they'll fend for themselves while navigating the highs and lows of island life. The kitchen will be replenished with ingredients every two days, but contestants will be expected to put together meals on their own everyday. A water well will be located a mile away from the kitchens, contestants will have to trek to fill up their containers everyday. 

4. Games and Challenges: Throughout the journey, our contestants engage in thrilling challenges designed to test their teamwork and chemistry. Picture competitive strength challenges like partner piggyback rides or hilarious two-legged races on the beach! Make sure to tune in because the weather is hot, which means less fabric to wear! ;)  

5. Confession Box and Matchmaking: After every activity, participants visit the confession box to anonymously choose another contestant they are interested in. Matched pairs have the chance to enjoy better food, upgraded accommodations, and even a night in a nearby five-star hotel instead of the usual shitty dorms!

note: example image does not depict show events

6. Contestant Dynamics: With a total of 13 contestants, including 3 mystery guests to be revealed at a later date, tensions and emotions run high as new arrivals shake up existing connections. 

oh whoever could these be?

7. Interviews and Real-Time Updates: The end of every episode features intimate interviews with one of the contestants, offering viewers insights into their thoughts and emotions. Episodes are recorded and edited the following day, ensuring they're posted by midnight for viewers to keep up with the drama and romance in real-time.

Amidst palm trees and pristine beaches, bonds deepen and sparks fly as our idols explore their connections. Will they find lasting love or simply a lifelong friendship?

In the end, hearts will be won and memories made as our idols return home, forever changed by their time on "Idols Inferno." Tune in to not miss a second!

stuck with you!

masterlist — prev | next

guys i drew/edited that map myself cus i wanted this to make sense pls tell me you like it i know it’s extra but 🤗

short mini chapter to explain the show i’ll explain anything else if i need to in later chapters xx

also pretty obvious if ur chronically online but can you guess who the mystery guests are? 😍

synopsis after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!

notes — after this ad break we will get back into the story xx

taglist closed — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @iheartpieck @jangyung @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @haeunoo @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @kitsuvil @scarasmood @ihearttori @nomurahayami @starringyau @androxphobic @kazuhasbabe

[themthrfkinprincess]

Astro observation . . . TWO!!

Whenever I see someone has a prominent Scorpio or Capricorn placement I always notice and see how sweet and overlay considerate they are. These people I’ve noticed are very helpful and there for people, sometimes they don’t think about themselves that much and contain themselves too much. They also are like nonchalantly funny? It’s not hard for them to make me laugh I’ve noticed.

But yeah strong Capricorn and Scorpio placements remind me of the giving tree idkkk

Like also Capricorn’s and Cancers be goofy as shit im crine😭

WHEW. This is from my experience but when I have seen a fair amount of Virgo or Cancer influences in somebody chart THEY ALWAYS GET ON MY NERVES LIKE GIRL DON'T DO ME LEAVE ME ALONE😭 I swear I have always had little moments with them- they can be quite annoying but guess what. I often spend so much time with them and we are right back on track maybe two seconds later it’s so funny. We switch up so much it funny. And this is funny because well I am a cancer myself and well there are more than three cancers in my family who I adore. You guys are really aggravating though.

And like also Geminis freaky foreal like YALL LIKE BOOTY FOREAL😭

also its a double whammy if you have eros or venus in gemin lol. I have both 😈👅

so come here . . . .

GIVE ME THAT BOOTY😈

lol😭

AND YOOOO Like geminis and Leo’s can be so embarrassing at times? They’re very suspect to be very lollygagging individuals and I can say this because I have a Leo stellium. Sometimes I look back and be like girl no. It sad. ☹️ like girl you 36 how long you gon be doing this😕.

They remind me of this liam dancing gif. Its not that they are embarrassing over big things- its just small stuff they can do and say which makes you go wtf???😭 Sometimes i feel they try to impress you over small weird things that no one really gives a fuck about like okay right . . . right . . .

Leo, Cancer, Gemini, and Virgo can be really corny at times- it reminds of that gif of drake doing the dougie. They can be corny in a cute way though😭but leos can get genuinely embarrassing as a mentioned beforehand

Also Geminis talk too much 🦧.

They will run their mouth and run it- i have no problem with it though I like to talk a lot lol. They are ( of course!) good listeners too! I had a friend she was so chill- I could talk to her about anything’s like- if i wanted to speak gibberish she would speak gibberish back to me. She was so random too. They are kind of silly whimsical beings at times I will not lie. Like it would not be wild to catch them froliciing in the fields randomly- its kind of expected of them in my own opinion. In my eyes they really be in their own world at times. 💀

AYE.

And yo!? Tell me why Aries are so cute what the hell!?!?

LIKE THEY ARE SO CUTE!!

CYUTSIE PATOOTSIES!!!! I imagine them trying to rob me at a gas station I own or something. Like I don’t know imagine them pointing a gun at you and trying to rob you LMFAO. I WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING. They might shoot you tho idk😞 they really be standing on business and they intimidate me a lot once they start talking- and they could be totally be happy/polite while they are talking. It’s just their aura feels forceful? Lively? Out there? I don’t know how to explain it but yeah. Also they are so sweet too!!! These people are cheerleaders- people say that Leo’s are cheerleaders but the biggest cheerleaders I see are more often Aries. My cousin is one and she is very VERY sweet. She listens to you deeply and she really pushes you. Sometimes it’s annoying at times cause like GIRL LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT 😭 I love aries though 💖😭 You guys are so cute. AND WHY THEY ALWAYS LOOK LIKE CARTOON CHARACTERS 😭

LIKE WHY HE LOOK LIKE RODDY😭

And of course we know Pedro looks like chicken little

Also Aries women are GORG!! No seriously! Look at Halle!!! Miss Mamas is GORG!! She is STUNNING! It’s like 💥WAPOW!!!💥 getting struck and hit by her beauty😍💖

Also David tennant so cute he's sort of like kind of my man😍😍 if you have a crush on him your so real I totally get it fren 😋💗🤭😁

Like dude come on he's so freaking cute. His eyes are so intense it makes him look like a crackhead sometimes but it doesn't even matter HE'S SO CUTE. And his Scottish accent is so 🫦🫦🫦 I don't know what he be saying sometimes though in his TV shows like huh🗿

Cancer Mars are literally the Scarlet Witch idk dude. . . . like people can go completely BONKERS. These hoes kind of crazy. If you been wronging one for quite a while you better sleep with one eye open when you sleeping👀

Like these people are kind of punks☹️. They retreat often when something is wrong- too much actually. They really do not want to fight or have any problems foreal. They can be very indirect at times when bothered it can get annoying. But when enough is enough its over💀 its like one fart and your dead💀

Like that Aries and Cancer energy is not mixing well and shit can get REAL unstable there like don't do them patna!!

Uhm i totally had a million more things to say and I really did not get to re-read this. So there may be many typos- and also im kind of lazy and wish i decorated this post better. But that's besides the point- I hope you liked this post or whatever!!! I was totally honestly rambing to myself, if you found these accurate to you then great!

Peace out!!!💖💗

[syoddeye]

feel free to ignore this one-

i have been a big fan of fanfiction for a while and recently got into cod. and ive noticed a lot of poetic writers tend to head down the noncon/ddne territory, and i guess it’s always a conflict for me?

cus it’s beautiful, but always so fucking sickening. nasty stuff for sure. and being one of my favorite authors, i guess im asking if you believe the writing is supposed to justify it? romaticize it- instead of condemning? maybe it slips past me but im always unsure if the writing is supposed to be seen as strictly art that divulges into the depths of a dark mind and a bad man- or it’s indulging in a fantasy.

im breaking from my comfortable shell from the ‘white picket fence happy ending cute tale’ fanfiction and actually really enjoying reading dark fics because good ones do such a wonderful job at toeing the ‘this is so beautiful but I feel like vomiting’ line- but in the back of my mind i wonder if it’s supposed to be read in a positive light- like the assaulter is…good?

im a bit new to it all which is why I guess there’s a shred of shame in it, because I don’t like the actions in ddne. they’re unsettling, gross (unfeminist? unsure) - but the writing is often times why i have to finish them because it’s jus so beautiful, pulls you in. your guts are all shriveled but your mind is wide awake and your mouth is wide open like you’re trying to swallow the poetry whole (not to be dramatic).

have you ever felt this? or am i jus like. vanilla.

hey friend, thanks for your patience on this.

i know you’ve already reached back out and i’m glad the links shared here helped. i’m gonna respond to both asks here because i don’t want to break your anonymity without your consent.

i’m also disabling reblogs. everything below this is my opinion and experiences. other folks will obviously feel differently. (if any of my smart and talented friends want to chime in or correct me, please do.)

first, i respect and appreciate your openness. you are kind and your thoughtfulness shines through both messages. feeling conflicted about complicated and difficult topics is normal. not to get all woo-ey off the bat, but we’re human beings. this is our first time planetside and all that. it’s important to cut yourself some slack. this post is generally how i see it:

“the human brain is weird. sex fantasies ≠ actual desires. if you ask yourself, “would i want to act out this thing in real life” and the answer is “fuck no,” then you’re fine. shipping is also not an indicator of what you would condone in real life. you are not secretly a monster. you are a human being. human beings are complicated.”

you ask: [do] you believe the writing is supposed to justify it? romanticize it- instead of condemning?

no, and this is where i think the posts i shared help. i do not believe dead dove or dark fic justifies sexual assault and rape, in the same way i do not believe games or horror films make people violent.

you also share:

“maybe it slips past me but im always unsure if the writing is supposed to be seen as strictly art that divulges into the depths of a dark mind and a bad man- or it’s indulging in a fantasy.” “in the back of my mind i wonder if it’s supposed to be read in a positive light”

this just tells me you’re engaging with fiction in a normal way. it’s normal to process how a story affects you. when reading fiction that depicts the disgusting, there’s a chance you feel disgusted. you remind me of how i felt when i first started reading dark fic. i had to unpack and grapple with years of being told any sexual fantasy that wasn’t heterosexual + monogamous + only explored after marriage was a one-way ticket to superhell and made me an awful person. surprise, it doesn't!

again, i’ll echo my first reply in case anyone needs to see it again: content warnings and tags aside, if readers hit an unexpected limit/boundary/landmine in a fic that they know will adversely impact or trigger them, they need to exit immediately. disengaging from fanfic is a reader’s responsibility. no one is forcing anyone to read fanfic, and no one should feel like they have to finish fanfic because it’s beautifully written, at the expense of their well-being. 

(to note, because i don’t want folks to think i’m ignoring it, but i’m not going to wade into what’s feminist or not when it comes to fiction. i think that’s a whole other discussion and i’m not in the headspace to engage.)

(another note, semi-related - something that continually frustrates me in the broader discussion of dead dove and dark fanfic is the pressure for victims to share personal information to justify their opinion, no matter where it falls. while i do share some stuff about my personal life, i do have limits. i’ve been asked point blank in my ask box and ao3 comments if i’ve ever been sexually assaulted, because some folks feel entitled to that information to ‘justify’ my writing about it. people can and will make their assumptions, but i will never divulge that info here, on tumblr.com, of all places. that’s a hard line for me.)

to your second message, i am sincerely happy that those links helped. it really boils down to ‘it doesn’t equal your actual desires’. you said it was a huge relief to see that, and it is! again! i felt a galaxy brain moment when i stopped hating myself for liking darkfic. reading/writing dark fic isn't an endorsement.

and and and not to sound like your grandpapa out on the porch, but now that i know your age—you are young. do not beat yourself up for learning or not knowing your limits just yet. i am in my 30s and learning shit about myself all the time. i’ll be 60 and having lightbulb moments reading fanfic.

okay. i think i’ve yapped enough. linking to early’s post again because it’s so, so good.

[lliminall]

excerpts from the group chat | pannacotta fugo x reader

tags: fem reader, implied sexual activity, copious amounts of swearing, borderline crack but I know in my heart they would be this annoying irl

Fuck Heads

Group Chat with Pannacotta Fugo, Narancia Ghirga & Guido Mista

iMessage

Tuesday 4:34 PM

Guido Mista they didn’t have salsa I got u ketchup

Narancia Ghirga ok fuck u

Guido Mista they’re both tomatoes idk why ur bitching

Narancia Ghirga Im not brining ur beer now ur fucking on ur own

Guido Mista please daddy? 🥺

Narancia Ghirga jk princess I got it

Guido Mista fugo I am headed over now be there in 10

Narancia Ghirga be there in 20 running late

4:47 PM

Guido Mista bro I’m here let me in

Guido Mista are u shitting?? open up I’m here

Narancia Ghirga its cus u brought us fucking ketchup instead of salsa

Narancia Ghirga jusy call him hes probably getting his dick wet again

Guido Mista we talked about this he does not have a girlfriend. he is a fucking incel narancia

Narancia Ghirga i was there last week I heard moaning. I told u

Guido Mista then it was porn u dumb fuck

Guido Mista open the FUCKING door

Narancia Ghirga bro literally what are u doing let us IN

Pannacotta Fugo I will fucking kill both of you

Pannacotta Fugo Stop banging on the fucking door.

Guido Mista LET US INNNNN

Narancia Ghirga wtf let us in???

Pannacotta Fugo I’ll let you in but do not speak to her. She’s studying in my room just mind your business

Guido Mista SHE????

Narancia Ghirga BRO ACTUALLY WAS GETTIN IT WET LMAOOO

Guido Mista and why can’t we meet her??

Pannacotta Fugo You fucking organisms. You are not pestering my girlfriend.

Narancia Ghirga BRO

Guido Mista BROOOO

Guido Mista also ok rude

Narancia Ghirga he cant bring her out cus he wiped her out with his 10 inch schlong

Guido Mista u don’t even have a girlfriend ur just embarrassed we caught u jacking off

Pannacotta Fugo I’m coming outside and I’m bringing a fucking weapon

Narancia Ghirga is that why u had us bring some much food I thought u we’re trying to bulk up wasnt gonn a judge tho

Guido Mista my man 💯💯💯

Guido Mista proud of u now let us the fuck in

Guido Mista the food is getting cold bro open the fucking door

7:28 PM

Guido Mista night bro would have gave u ur goodnight kiss but ur girlfriend was right there

Narancia Ghirga wheres my goodnight kiss

Guido Mista come here bby girl i got it for u right here

Pannacotta Fugo You will be two brown stains on the floor by the time I'm done with you

Narancia Ghirga pee ur pannts

--

iMessage

7:45 PM

Narancia Ghirga fugo got his dick sucked today. by a real girl

Bruno Bucciarati Why are you telling me this

Narancia Ghirga just thougth u might like to know

message read at 7:47 PM

--

iMessage

7:50 PM

Narancia Ghirga abbachio guess who i saw layin pipe tonight

This user has blocked your number. You are unable to call or text this number at this time.

Narancia Ghirga fugo

Narancia Ghirga dammit

[ruthytwoshakes]

oh good evnening my homos,, my swagggalishis peepol, my lovely little guys . idk. I drew some gi. rrrrrls !!! Some fem fort!! Wahhooooo!!! Yippepeeee!! oh oh and big thank you to everybody who voted in the poll I set up! Once winter break hits I’ll be able to work on the projects full time, until then I’ll just be putting out little wips because school is more important :]

I’ve always wanted to make a gender swap au of some sort but I really had no good ideas until now,,. . They’re all clones of the red team that Engineer and Pauling worked on!! But like kinda. really crazy and blood-thirsty.

Pauling was requested to make a better Blu team because they sucked so bad,, ,so instead of hiring new people she got lazy and asked Engineer for help to mess with the respawn machine and create these new guys. They’re also like a fourth bigger than the original mercs. They’re very scary and violent and not r,eally good at being people yet. to be fair they were born like yesterday sorta. And I think I’d be a little evil too if I was born with the memories and mannerisms and scars of a life that I had not lived. ? ,,,,oh well sucks 2 suck. They hate the other team with a burning passion because they were programmed that way I guess. Idk I just came up with it tonight so it kidna isn’t all that coherent but we bal l . If I have the time I’ll draw them all beating up the boys or just like tormenting them. heheghjshh. pyro is a bear because the original pyro is a butch,, and spy is trans masc cus the original spy is trans fem. c ool

oh if anybody has any ideas for names I’d love to hear them! I’m shit ass at names so help is appreciated B))))) )

oh. welell hello thehrer,, here is more deisntns

these are for fun and would not actually work in the au,, teehhe. Man I don’t know what the fuck happened with saxton but he just looks the exact same. he’s growing out his hair. happened with saxton rhymes kindaa also Bidwell yay! Made her look more like Ma because I think she and scout are sisters booyahhh woah. Reddy with the butch realness hell yeah ,, love her. Mister Pauling wooooooow don’t have much 2 say. Twink Pauling little scary. Administrator though fucking killed me ,,I turned a bad bitch into an old man I’m losing my minddd. Kept the earrings cus they slayy cunty cunt cunt? Idk I don’t say that stuff

PYRO FACE JUMPSCARE !!! I know I committed sin and removed a masked character’s mask buut,idk fuck it I wanted to. Got some gnarly burn scares there and a rat tail cowaaabunga. Don’t know if you can tell but Blu has a half a beard.

JUMPSACREE JUMPSCARE I ADDED MY OCS MUHAHHA it’s gliderrrs yay. Red and Blu glider are two different. guys,, uhh they’re both twins!! Fraternal I think. Red is very flamboyant and extroverted and talks with her hands while Blu kinda stares at you,, you can’t really tell if she’s angry or not? Not happy with you that’s for sure. I can’t info dump about them on this post because I have to get back to work but one day in the near future. perhaps. perchance. mayhaps. what

[dawnagustd]

for hours couple can I get reader wanting to get her nails redone and asking jk what shape and style she should get and if he can pay for them and cus he's whipped he will 🤭

pairing: hours!jungkook x f!reader

genre: fwbs | neighbors to lovers

word count: 0.6k

rating: 18+

warnings: suggestive | strong language | jungkook grabs his dick once | just two idiots who like each other | a bit of insecurity but for a second only | mentions back scratching(the kinky kind)

author's note: This is a month after reader starts visiting Jungkook's apartment but they've know each other longer than this, of course. They're neighbors. I changed the prompt up a little bit because I felt like it'd be more meaningful if he just offered to pay instead of her asking. I think it suits their dynamics better. This can be read as a stand alone but this is the main story. Thank you @hobeemin for looking over this for me. I love you!!

“The usual, right?”

You look at your nails carefully, examining them before you answer. This shape makes your fingers look weird when you don’t choose the right polish. You miss the old days but you had to make some compromises. 

“Nah, let’s try short this time. Same shape,” you reply.

“What?!”

Both your nail tech and Jungkook, who’s paused his video game, look at you in disbelief. Like you're speaking gibberish.

“Why are you getting them short?” Jungkook asks.

Your phone sits on the device station propped against the mount so you can see the FaceTime call and check your notifications without messing up your nails.

You shrug your shoulders. “Just want something different, I guess.”

“You can just try another shape,” your nail tech suggests.

“Yeah, I agree,” Jungkook adds.

You roll your eyes because you don’t think it’s a big deal. You can’t get what you want so the length doesn’t really matter to you.

“Then what should I get then?” 

The question was directed toward your nail tech, but Jungkook speaks up instead.

“How you used to wear them... Like when you first started coming over to my place.” 

He picks up his controller and resumes his game while he talks to you, describing the shape he’s speaking of best he can. “The vampire shape. I like those; they’re sexy.”

“Dude, you mean coffin?”

Jungkook snaps his fingers. “Ah, yes. That’s it.”

You’d kill to have coffin nails again, but they’re too high maintenance for the kind of sex you and Jungkook have. Besides, you remember how badly you scratched up his back the first time he fucked you. You felt bad, so you changed the shape to oval so you wouldn’t hurt him as much.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “I like those a lot but I don’t wanna rip your skin open anymore.”

You mumble the last part so that only he can hear, and he responds with a laugh.

“I’m good, baby. I like pain.” Jungkook glances at his phone and winks.

Your nail tech can probably see steam rising from your cheeks because they’re on fire. Jungkook is smirking proudly, knowing he’s got a reaction out of you.

“Yeah, we really like those,” he adds, grabbing his dick. The lady walking past you chokes on air after looking the wrong way at the wrong time. You offer a small apology as you're ogling at the bulge forming in his sweatpants. “Matter of fact, how much are they?... Everything.”

“Like my entire appointment?... Gosh, I’m embarrassed,” you laugh.

“Yeah, all of it.”

You go over everything you’ve gotten done at the spa while Jungkook has paused the FaceTime call. You know he’s still listening because he gives an “mhm” every time you pause. Once you’ve come up with an estimate you look at your nail tech, who has your invoice and you’re given a nod, letting you know you’re in the right range.

You’ve been coming here since high school so you already know how much everything costs, but you still ask out of respect. You repeat the total so Jungkook can hear, thinking he’s about to tease you for spending so much, but to your surprise, he doesn’t.

“Cool,” he answers, switching back to the video call. “Hey, I’m gonna finish this game, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

Wow.

“Kay, bye.”

“Bye, love.”

When the call ends, your missed notifications come across your screen. A few from Instagram, Tumblr, and a missed call that says Spam Risk, but the last bubble grabs all of your attention. 

“He Cash App’d me. The fuck?” 

“Someone’s got a man,” your nail tech teases.

Your smile spreads before you can stop it. 

“Will you stop it? He’s not my man.”

Your argument is dismissed with a scoff. “Mhm.”

“I don’t, though.”

Not yet, at least.

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Romanoff-Maximoff Family HC

Sharing my personal head-canon for my Romanoff-Maximoff family bcos I love them. And this (probably) will be my base anytime I make a Parents Wandanat or a Romanoff-Maximoff family fic 🫶😩

Just a disclaimer it’s probably gonna be very all over the place, like it’s not well thought out. I just wanna share my thoughts cus domestic Wandanat AGHHH 🥰😭🫶 Also this is long, like REALLY long. Idc here u gooo

In general:

They have 3 kids; Their eldest is adopted (but has Nat’s DNA, I’ll get into this in a bit.), and the other two are biological twins.

How you may ask? They’re friends with many VERY smart people, I don’t need to explain myself. (Or magic if ur nasty ;D)

The twins are boy and a girl, like Pietro and Wanda.

Natasha is 'Mom'

Wanda is 'Mama' (But to Natasha she is mommy-)

Natasha is the chill parent.

Wanda tends to overreact (Naturally, we all seen MoM. But it’s out of love guys it’s ok-)

But when Natasha gets angry she’s the scariest one.

They’re both retired from the Avengers after Endgame to raise a family.

They live in Westview.

They both only go on missions when absolutely needed.

And maybe sometimes go to the compound to teach the new Avengers.

They have enough money to last them a lifetime and THEN SOME- (I mean obviously they were an Avenger)

But they’re not the type to stay still, especially Nat.

Lord and behold Yelena’s little story came true, Nat becomes a science teacher at a local High School.

Is she qualified? I mean she was an international spy, I think she’s overqualified tbh-

Meanwhile Wanda opens up a small food business.

Wanda LOVES cooking for her family and her foods are really good!

People of Westview tried to convince Wanda to open up a restaurant cus it’s just THAT GOOD. (She could honestly, money was absolutely no problemo)

Her secret ingredient? Love… and the fresh ingredients she grows in their backyard-

Have I mentioned Wanda loves gardening? Because she doess!! (Cottage core wives HEHFJE)

But ultimately she decided not to open a restaurant (yet). Considering their kids are still young, she wanted to enjoy motherhood as much as she can.

Once the kids are all out of the house for College, then she’ll open a restaurant.

Natasha, being the good wife that she is, offers to quit her job as a teacher. She thought Wanda had too much on her plate taking care of the kids. Therefore not opening a restaurant.

Wanda reassures her that it was simply because she wanted to enjoy motherhood as much as she can.

The kids (Eldest):

Their eldest, Scarlet Hawkins Romanoff-Maximoff.

Scarlet is adopted, but she's half related to her little siblings because she has Natasha's DNA.

They saved her from a Red Room like facility. Instead of kidnapping girls, they take the DNA of a Red Room graduate and breed them to create a new line of Black Widow soldiers.

They stopped them in time, fortunately. (Or did they??)

Scarlet was surprisingly attached to Natasha. When they found out it was because they shared the same DNA, they decided to adopt her.

Scarlet easily warms up to Wanda.

Since Scarlet didn't have a name, they gave one for her.

Scarlet was from Wanda's callsign 'Scarlet Witch.' Because when she was a baby she was somewhat obsessed with Wanda's crown.

Baby Scarlet would run around the house with Wanda's crown pretending to have witchy powers.

Hawkins from, you guessed it, Hawkeye. Who is also her godfather.

She is basically the spitting image of Natasha, except with blonde hair and blue eyes. Probably from her biological father, whom they never figure out.

But who cares? She has two amazing moms, that's all she need.

And no it’s not Steve’s. Though they did thought it was.

(Scarlet may also be changed to Y/n from time to time cus I know ya'll love Parents Wandanat)

Unlike her little siblings, Scarlet being the oldest is the responsible one.

In truth she is, but she has her moments. Unlike her little siblings though, she never gets caught.

She also has a super soldier serum in her blood because of the experiment. (ion know if that shit is canonically possible but idc i aint giving myself context:))

The Twins:

As mentioned their twins is a girl and a boy.

They're biologically theirs through science. (again, or magic if ur nasty ;D)

The older the one being the girl, Alianova Lena Romanoff-Maximoff.

12 minutes older and never let her little brother forgets that.

From the name you can tell it's from who and who, just a different variation of it.

Yelena basically jumped on her feet when they told her Alia's middle name.

Her nickname is Alia.

She is the reckless one of the twins.

She inherited Wanda's powers, so mind reading, telekinesis, etc. (Idk her powers ok)

She looks a lot more like Wanda, except she has Natasha’s red hair.

But you can see the Natasha in her. Her face shapes are basically Wanda but radiating Natasha energy.

Their youngest, Pietro Xavier Romanoff-Maximoff.

We know where Pietro come from, who in the fuck is Xavier?

(He is my OC that I made in my little delulu fic. He is Natasha and Yelena's little brother, this is a whole separate thing so you can just ignore this. It's a fun fact tho LMAO)

(He was also the one who sacrifice himself, that's why Natasha is here now. If u guys are interested I might just make a HC for him. Ps: The whole purpose of him existing was for me self-inserting myself as Natasha's little brother and so Nat can live-)

(Very terrible of me I know-)

His nickname is Piet.

He also inherited Wanda's power, but much like his namesake, he is a speedster.

Initially each of the twins would have a set of Wanda's and Natasha's last name.

So; Pietro Xavier Romanoff and Alianova Lena Maximoff.

But they went against it when Yelena said "You know people are gonna think they are a child of divorce right?"

He’s basically the perfect combination of the two.

Facial features wise probably leans a little more towards Natasha, but the brunette hair is all Wanda. Though it has a tint of red in it.

He is more of the calculated risk taker.

But Alia just simply likes to call it "A chicken"

They're both huge troublemakers.

Except one is more calculated, and the other just want to watch the world burns-

But naturally Pietro let his sister drags him to numerous troubles because he does NOT want her to call him a pussy-

The twins would definitely use their powers for troublemaking shenanigans.

Wandanat as Parents:

Natasha is the type to play sport with them, even though she herself is not much of a sport person. Yea she works out, but not sport. (Ya get me?)

Regardless, she takes the time to invest in whatever sport the kids are into at the time.

One time Scarlet was into Softball, Natasha went and practiced with her.

One time the twins was interested in basketball, the next day she got herself a basketball shoes and put up a basketball ring on their driveway.

Both of them are wonderful moms, honestly the best.

Wanda loves to pack their kids lunch, and the kids LOVE her lunches. Since Wanda has a reputation as a good cook around Westview, their classmates would often try their lunches.

Wanda even opens a catering at one point, but ultimately she stopped because she was getting TONS of orders.

One time, Scarlet turned it into her little business in school.

"Yo, my mom is making her infamous chicken paprikash. 10 dollars and I'll give you one."

"OOO ME ME" "I'll do it for $13!" "15!" "I'LL GIVE YOU 20 DOLLARS-"

Wanda loves to teach them arts and crafts, music, and of course, cooking.

Wanda would teach them how to play the guitar as she learned how to play at one point when she lived at the compound.

Natasha loves to help them with their homework, as she herself was a teacher now. (Also a former Russian spy)

She's always calm and collected when teaching them what they didn't understand. The kids love learning from Natasha.

Because Wanda would get frustrated and go "MATH IS MATH-"

[blackbirdsinatrenchcoat]

HI I SAW THE FANART OF YOUR OCS AND I LOVE IT, CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THEM???

aaaaaaa!!!!! absolutely!!!! thank you for asking!!!! ( in ref to this post ) okAY so they’re all embodiments/deifications of the seasons, Winter is top left, Summer is top right, Spring is bottom left, and you guessed it, Thaw is bottom right. (Autumn would be there but I don’t have its design yet sob.)

Winter: Gender? I Hardly Know Her! sapphic, they/he/she, doesn’t like you and isn’t afraid to say it, nice once you get to know them (you will never know them), definitely does weed, So Tall Literally What The Heck Man, genuinely terrifying, Doesn’t Know, hasn’t heard of a self esteem, survives off of instant ramen and tap water,

Spring: Just A Little Guy, biromantic gray-ace, he/him, nicest dude, all your pets and kids and siblings like him, has not had a full night of sleep since the dawn of time, flowery coffee mug full of hard liquor, places worth in his actions, would be an alcoholic but is too scared to accidentally get violent,

Summer: Prettiest Princess, pan, she/they, smiley, super friendly, pretends to like you but fantasizes about feeding your corpse to the vultures, in denial about everything, 5 3 but has 6ft aura, photographic memory, can bat her eyelashes and get away with murder

Autumn (not here :( ) :That Thing, demiromantic ace, he/it, no clue what is going on, accidentally funny, tries its best to make people like it, fails miserably, Wet Cat, does not believe in self care, incredible chef, like things with instructions cus they’d heard to mess up,

Thaw: Whatever You Want, Baby *wink*, bi demiromantic, xe/he/she, flirty as heck, infinite rizz, “your honor, nuh uh,” tbhkinda mean, passive aggressive about everything, knows exactly what to get people as gifts, really good at reading people,

im dumping the lore under the cut bc i saw the words “ocs” and “tell me” in the same sentence and got a bit too excited

The first three were created by Sun and Moon, but Thaw is an “artificial season”, made by Winter and Spring. They all have full power over their domain, and can create elements of their season. Winter is the patron of cloven animals, that which is already dead, guiding of souls to the afterlife, pottery, mourning, and they were the first season to exist, as they prepare the earth for life to Spring forth. get it. cause you know. Winter and then Spr ok i’m done. Spring is the patron of the beginning of life (as in babies and kids and stuff), guiding new souls into bodies, the waters, music, plant life, reptiles, and all aquatic animals. Summer is the patron of life(as in actual living), creatures of the air(besides bats) and insects, care if they physical body, fertility, and visual art, like paintings n drawings and things that go on a flat surface.

Autumn is a bit different. The 3 previous seasons were made by both Moon and Sun, the former having existing longer than the latter. The Primordials simply came into being, but Moon was first. Cus of a lot of creation myths and stories start with darkness, and then light. So Moon was there, and then Sun. They got bored of sitting and staring at an empty space rock. So they made the Seasons, and gifted them with creation.

It was just the first 3 for a while, but Sun got resentful. Moon was always the one who had the ideas, and executed them, and Sun hated that Moon was loved more by the Seasons, even though Sun was kinder. Sun decided to prove Sun was just as good at creating as Moon, so Sun made Autumn. Autumn was lacking morality, kindness, the ability to communicate, and was basically a shell of what it could have been.

The 3 eventually met Autumn, and since they were gifted with creation, they did their best to ‘fix’ Autumn. And they did, but not perfectly, since only a Primordial is the only being that can make fundamental changes like that. So Autumn is a little odd. It’s still learning how to be ‘human’ but it Knows and it Loves. And that’s all anyone can ask. Autumn is the patron of death(like the actual cease of life), removing of souls from bodies, harvest, all animals with paws, he art of writing in any form, and physical illness.

Thaw, on the other hand, was made by Winter and Spring pretty early on, a little bit before the 3 met Autumn. They got curious about the extent of their creation power, and created the first Lesser, Thaw. Inconveniently for them, Thaw was not created as an adult or even a teen, Thaw came to be as small child, about 4-5 in our years. So imagine two teens trying to raise a baby. Even though Spring is the patron of babies n kids n stuff, Winter stepped up, and tried to parent. Spring ended up taking Thaw at relative age 16, but until then, it was a weird coparenting thing.

Once Thaw was old enough to be independent, he held a lot of resentment for his “parents”, especially Winter. It took a while to reconcile, and his relationship with Winter is still strained, but everyone tries their best. Thaw is the patron of all hibernating animals, musical instruments, sleet and small streams, and all those with complicated families.

As society progresses, the rift between Sun and Moon deepens, and they start fighting, hence the end of the world. To the seasons, it’s like parents divorcing in the messiest way possible and also everyone and everything is dying. So they do their best to protect humanity (cus humans are a thing by then), and life as we know it. While also falling in love and stuff. Also they can’t die until the world is gone so.

And uhhh yeah :3 that’s all i can think of rn, but there’s definitely more except it’s 2am. this entire thing was heavily inspired by Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier, PORTALS by Melanie Martinez, and How to Build an Ocean: Instructions by Bears in Trees. Shoutout Fruit Gummy friend for maybe butterfly effect causing this by introducing me to Bears in Trees and shoutout to that other person who did the shit that causes the breakdown that caused me to put on Bears in Trees to calm down that caused me to have the first inspiration.

thank you for asking, Saturn, genuinely, and when are we scheduling the wedding?

[lunanoc]

so probably against what should have been my better judgment, i went ahead and actually wrote “meta”, except it’s only borderline meta because it ends up veering off into crack theory territory and is also insanely long, but i figure since it’s now too long to be posted as a discord liveblog like it was supposed to be, i might as well just. post it here (in several parts because no one wants a 10k post lbr)

disclaimer: i like to be transparent about where i’m coming from, so just know that i have not finished reading all the books yet. currently i’m practically through everything, books and extras included, up until and including sand sea part III, so anything i talk about relating to that is my own reading experience. i’ll sometimes reference later books i’ve either read snippets of, or talked about with people who have (and verified the information as best as i could), but because i lack full context for those, any mentions of those elements are automatically grain of salt and relegated to crack theory. for everything i have read that i can grab quotes for, i’ll be providing clear references to the specific chapters of the books they’re from

also, blanket spoiler warning for the books

but that being said, let me actually get into this thing:

king shang of lu, the iron-masked gentleman, king mu of zhou, the queen mother of the west, how they’re connected, who they might be, and what that could mean for the larger dmbj narrative

PART I: KING SHANG OF LU AND THE IRON-MASKED GENTLEMAN

writing this shaved years off of me, the rabbit-holing was insane, and there’s still no clear answers in the end but welcome to the ride i guess

starting off here, the problem with these two characters is that we have conflicting information about them from three different sources that all give a different version of the same story, all of which are various degrees of dubious for different reasons. and you could say ok but really, who cares i do apparently about these two because in the larger plot they don’t really amount to much in the end

BUT

given both the things we learn by the end of sand sea (and elements that pop up in later installments) about all the various parties involved in what’s essentially a subplot, and the fact npss goes into so much detail with such a deliberate throwback to something all the way back in the first book, i don’t think the fact that the various versions of the story of king shang of lu sometimes blatantly contradicting themselves is a mistake, but is rather proof of deliberate obfuscation of the truth. npss tends to like revisiting sometimes seemingly anecdotal or trivial things from previous books to connect them with a subsequent revelation, or open the door to a different interpretation of them, so that he’d do it here isn’t all that surprising to me

the three versions of the story of “the emperor” (or the ruler of the state of lu), king shang of lu, and the iron-masked gentleman we get are, in order of appearance:

version 1 from a silkbook found in the purple jade box in “king shang of lu”’s coffin (Book 1, Ch. 26, Purple Jade Box)

version 2 from xiaoge himself who gives an opposing account to the previous one that he supposedly read from a warring states period silkbook he found in a song dynasty tomb (Book 1, Ch. 26-27, Purple Jade Box / Lies)

version 3 from the powerpoint lesson given by the wang family to li cu (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 132, 133, 134, Lesson / King Mu of Zhou / Deception)

the first two accounts are both from book 1 and immediately follow each other, but neither of them quite fit with the last one, or at least it would seem so. you could argue this is simply because book 1 was when npss was still trying to figure things out both with his plot and characters, so the final account given by the wang family is a retcon, and while that’s always possible, like i mentioned, npss likes to connect things and tends to either incorporate these kinds of seemingly obscure and irrelevant details for a reason, or simply retroactively fleshes them out to revisit them at a later date and shed a new light on the bigger picture. so it’s more the fact we just don’t know which things he implements deliberately from the start and which ones he ties back to retroactively, but in the end seeing as the result is the same it doesn’t matter much. what does matter is that he does it pretty consistently, so it’s safe to assume he’s also doing it with this particular story (side tangent, but i like to think that npss has shown he’s a big fan of something called chekov’s gun and no i won’t elaborate on that or else i’ll be here for hours but google that if you’re interested it’s fun)

so tldr; i basically just want to argue that by intentionally bringing back this story with obvious divergences, it might be a way to shed light on something else that informs king shang of lu’s story while placing it as a puzzle piece in the bigger picture of dmbj lore

but let’s break down those three different accounts of the story of king shang of lu

the first account

i’m going to tldr; most of these for the sake of clarity, but i’ll be referencing the various chapters all these bits are taken from if you want to verify any of it

technically the first real account of king shang of lu’s story we get is what’s written on the stone slab in the hall with all of the coffins in the seven star palace that says that he was “born with a ghost seal and could borrow ghost soldiers from the underworld” (Book 1, Ch. 10, Shadow), but i’m not counting that as a full-blown version of the story because it’s not dwelt on all that much and mostly serves as a preamble for pangzi to later posit to wu xie that it’s a bunch of bs and was probably just an exaggeration meant to mythologize king shang of lu given that the tomb itself is a weird anachronistic mix of western zhou and warring states architecture (which is an important argument but maybe not for the reasons you’d think)

so i consider the first fleshed-out version of king shang of lu’s story we get to be the one wu xie reads off of the silkbook he and wu sanxing pull from “king shang of lu”’s coffin, and is one that very quickly gets debunked within book 1 itself multiple times, so while it may seem easy enough to write off, it’s not so much what it says that’s interesting, but rather why it exists in the first place

this version of the story essentially relates the life and deeds of king shang of lu, recorded on what’s supposed to be a warring states period silkbook pulled from the man’s own coffin. it talks about how he inherited his title from his father and was a lowly grave robber lord who was cruel and greedy, and how one day he gained from a snake demon/spirit in a tomb he excavated “two treasures” in a “purple and gold box” (this will be important later) which are never explicitated, although wu xie speculates one of those treasures to be the ghost seal as its acquisition is directly mentioned in the text. the snake comes to king shang of lu in a dream and promises to make him a high-ranking official and teach him how to use the treasures in the box if he spares its soul (he doesn’t). and so king shang of lu becomes a military officer under the command of the “emperor” of the state of lu. in his later years, however, he starts to get old and sick, and so the “emperor” demotes him back into being a lowly grave robber, and he starts to fear death, so king shang of lu goes to his military advisor, the “iron-masked gentleman” or 铁面先生 tiemian xiansheng, in search of a solution. the iron-masked gentleman then tells him that something called jade burial armor, a treasure from ancient times, exists, and that it can keep someone young forever. so king shang hunts and hunts and scours tomb after tomb until eventually he finds a western zhou dynasty tomb which will later become the seven star palace where he discovers a corpse wearing the famed jade buriam armor. iron mask takes the corpse out of the armor, subdues the blood zombie it turns into, and then helps king shang of lu fake his death in front of the “emperor” so he can be buried in the tomb he built for himself on top of the western zhou tomb he’d found (Book 1, Ch. 26, Purple Jade Box)

however

this version is quickly debunked twice in pretty quick succession, and then a third time a bit later, still in book 1, but before i get to that, a few extra little details i want to point out:

to be fair literally no one (who doesn’t speak chinese and is reading the original text anyway) would be able to guess either from the translation or merebear’s footnotes that “iron-masked scholar/gentleman” or 铁面先生 is not in fact necessarily meant to be taken literally. it’s partly an idiom. 铁面 tiemian is an expression that can mean “someone who is upright in character”, in other words someone with a positive reputation. so this man isn’t necessarily implied to have worn a mask at all (i think he did, but that’s also for later)

the purple and gold box that’s mentioned in this version of the story is the one wu xie finds in the hands of the corpse of the green-eyed fox (who’s also wearing the belt that has the qilin blood clot wu xie accidentally swallows can you believe, which is also another detail for later) that’s accompanied by a key in the corpse of a woman next to it (Book 1, Ch. 22, The Eightfold Treasure Box)

the second account

before we get into the first version of the story more, let’s briefly take a look at the second one. the first version of the story is first debunked by the second version of the story which is told in abridged format by xiaoge pretty much right after wu xie finishes reading the silkbook. he says that the silkbook’s account is incorrect because the person in the jade armor isn’t king shang of lu, but iron mask who faked his own death in order to escape the systematic execution king shang of lu enacted on all the people who knew about and/or helped build his tomb. he then snuck into the seven star palace and disposed of king shang of lu’s body before taking the jade armor for himself

xiaoge explains that he found this story in a song dynasty tomb he’d robbed a few years ago that contained a complete silkbook that turned out to be iron-masked gentleman’s memoirs (Book 1, Ch. 27, Lies). and you’d be inclined to believe this version of the story over the first one because it’s xiaoge telling it, and xiaoge usually isn’t one for intentional deception unless it serves a purpose, even less so if it’s verbal deception (literally the only time i can think of him openly lying rather than lying by omission is when he disguises himself as professor zhang). except even this version is called into question multiple times. the first time is by wu xie himself, who while choosing not to confront xiaoge about it, senses that xiaoge seems uneasy when wu xie presses him on the point that if it’s true that two people were pulled out of the jade armor in that tomb, then why is there no second blood corpse. xiaoge answers that he doesn’t know because iron masks’s memoirs only mention it briefly, and that maybe king shang of lu was pulled out early enough that he didn’t turn into a blood zombie. technically there’s the mummified body they find in the sacrificial ding cauldron next to the coffin with the monster at the entrance to the seven star palace whose head is cut off that could fit that description (Book 1, Ch. 9, Ancient Tomb), but in any case xiaoge according to wu xie looks like he’s lying. the second time this version is refuted is by wu sanxing, but i’ll get to that when i get back to the first account and how it also gets debunked

arguments against the second account 

i already mentioned xiaoge isn’t typically someone who’s into overt deception as a course of action unless it’s strictly necessary (and even then). it’s always possible he was either acting on a compulsion from the heavenly gift or under some order from chen pi ah si (since he was working for him at the time, even if i doubt this to be completely honest) or even something else, so it’s mostly my own assumption that he’s not actively deceiving them by fabricating a story, because xiaoge’s deception usually relies on omission rather than a concentrated effort at producing an elaborate lie. so really, the only fact we can be certain of is that he has an “uneasy look in his eyes” when he talks about the lack of another blood corpse, and that wu xie gets the impression he’s lying, which is a sentiment wu sanxing apparently shares because they look at each other in that moment and silently agree. whether this means xiaoge was *actually* lying, or that wu sanxing was taking advantage of xiaoge’s unease to further his own deception (re: arguments against the first account i’m getting to in a bit) is really up in the air

however

i’d like to think if xiaoge was lying and there was nothing more to it than that, he wouldn’t make it so apparent that that was the case given he only ever really projects visible upset or discomfort at anything when it’s related to his memories or lack thereof, and only much later in the story does that start to extend to allowing himself moments of vulnerability, or just his own brand of open concern for wu xie and pangzi. but this is all happening in book 1 where wu xie, as perceptive as he is about people, doesn’t know xiaoge yet, and so doesn’t know his tells. therefore that he can tell xiaoge is visibly emoting when it’s xiaoge is noteworthy in itself. also, given that book 1 takes place at a time when xiaoge’s memory was still very much lacking and fragmented, and he was likely still working for chen pi ah si partly to search for his memories, i wouldn’t be surprised if his unease was visible because the confrontation of both the first and second versions of the story started triggering his memory in some capacity, or it might have even triggered the heavenly gift senses into letting him know that there was something of importance in these stories since the particular episode of it he’s going through at the time gets a bit fast-forwarded from the seven star palace onward seeing as not too long afterwards xiaoge goes into the gate at the end of book 3

something else that’s worth mentioning is the logic behind these memoirs of iron mask even existing. why it would be in a song dynasty tomb is up for debate and probably irrelevant (although it does to be fair align with king mu’s motives of perpetuating grave robbing for deliberate dissemination of information), but mostly i question how he could have written his memoirs if he faked his death and slipped into the jade armor himself shortly after, unless he waited a significant amount of time before doing so and lived his life in hiding, which is also possible given there’s nothing more we know about him. but more food for thought

arguments against the first account

let’s go back to the first account from the silkbook for a bit and take a look at the other two times besides xiaoge’s second account where this version is debunked:

the second debunking comes from wu sanxing as he and wu xie are waiting around in jinan while panzi is in the hospital, and wu sanxing comes back outraged bc when he tried to have the silkbook they brought back from “king shang of lu”’s coffin, he was apparently told it was a forgery because the gold in it was too pure to have dated back to the warring states period, and so was necessarily more recent, though how recent is never specified (Book 1, Ch. 29, Purple-and-Gold Box). he then suggests to wu xie that he thinks it’s xiaoge who snuck into the tomb ahead of them, and with his skills successfully planted a dupe to trick them. i’ll get back to this eventually, but again, while it’s not impossible, it feels unlikely to me that xiaoge would extend so much effort in deception unless it served a clear purpose he agreed with, which is why i’m not convinced he would have blindly been following orders from someone like chen pi ah ai. and xiaoge would likely not have gone to the trouble of making a fake silkbook either, so the idea would have to have come from chen pi ah si, which then brings into question what motive chen pi ah si would have had to go to such lengths to deceive wu sanxing. again, really the only time we ever see or hear of xiaoge making an effort at deliberate deception is when he disguises himself as professor zhang, and while we never get an explanation for the reasons behind that, that’s more likely to have stemmed from feeling like he had to conceal his identity rather than wanting to deceive if that makes sense. in any case, i don’t know what tangible reason xiaoge would have had to deceive wu sanxing and his team with a fake silkbook even if he’d been acting on chen pi ah si’s orders, because would chen pi ah si have had a reason to go to the effort of creating a fake silkbook to deceive wu sanxing with details so specific that you quite literally have to have been in that tomb before to know them?  

the third debunking of the silkbook version is ironically a reverse uno from xiaoge directed at wu sanxing when he, wu xie, and pangzi are stuck in wang zanghai’s tomb in xisha (Book 1, Ch. 63, Chain). xiaoge’s just recovered a massive amount of his memories related to the first xisha expedition, and very bluntly tells wu xie that not only is the silkbook from the seven star palace a fake, it was wu sanxing who planted it there. to which wu xie obviously responds with “wtf no you did”. to which xiaoge then replies completely deadpan as he does with “no, it was your sanshu, he and da kui dug a hole under the tree to do it, probably why da kui had to be silenced”. which leaves wu xie very torn about what and who to believe. and mind you this is also a little before they find the inscription on the wall from “xie lianhuan” accusing wu sanxing of murdering him. honestly it’s possible xiaoge is telling the truth if you consider that wu sanxing might have planted a fake if he knew ahead of time what the silkbook contained, what the seven star palace was, and basically faked his own way through the entire thing

it wouldn’t necessarily surprise me because he does sound very pretends to be shocked in the delivery of many of his remarks (but again, how much of that can you attribute to this being book 1), and while he did bring wu xie along because he was trying to ease him into the game with the wangs, it’s possible he was prudent enough that he would have made wu xie’s first tomb experience take place in a somewhat controlled environment. which doesn’t mean he’d necessarily been there before, just that as entrenched in the wang shit as he is, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’d known even vaguely what the seven star palace represented and what could be found in there. he did know about the snake cypress and about the stone used to subdue it, and while that doesn’t necessarily mean anything seeing as wu sanxing is a highly experienced tomb robber, it’s worth noting that the only times we’ve ever seen those trees is in the seven star palace and in the snake mine in gutongjing. in other words, always somewhere connected to longevity and The Secret and all the parties involved in that power struggle

but then again, we don’t really know how much wu sanxing knew about the wangs and the zhangs etc, so it’s all very up to interpretation. if he did in fact plant the fake silkbook though, it might have served the purpose of making sure there was something to string wu xie along to push him towards xisha and the conspiracy, but the copper fish ended up serving that purpose in the end. nothing really elaborates on this silkbook again, so we don’t know why xiaoge would speculate that wu sanxing was the perpetrator, unless it was because he’d just recovered his memories of xisha (but even then xiaoge doesn’t accuse people so firmly based on impression alone) or he literally saw wu sanxing do it

regardless of who did it, the bottom line is that it’s safe to say the silkbook was probably fake and was placed there intentionally, both because as wu sanxing points out, it is suspicious that wu xie would conveniently only be able to understand what happened to be key portions of the silkbook relating parts of king shang of lu’s life, and because it mentions the purple and gold box in it, which when opened, wu xie discovers contains the first snake-eyebrowed copper fish

to me this actually pushes suspicion more heavily onto two parties in particular: wu sanxing and the wang family. because to be able to forge a silkbook that would specifically contain passages tailored to wu xie’s knowledge of old chinese and not run the risk of him either knowing more or less than speculated, you would have to have extensive knowledge on wu xie as a person on a personal level. and to be fair, this idea hinges a lot on the silkbook being put into that coffin for wu xie specifically ti find, so i’m working on assumptions again, but if this were the case, then only wu sanxing and the wangs qualify to fill that role, and in some ways the wangs even more so because this kind of covert manipulation is very much the way they do things. xiaoge would not have known wu xie to that extent in book 1, if at all, and while wang zanghai himself is a tempting possibility, he was obviously in the seven star palace long before any of this took place, so it can’t be him. in fact, the only thing that ties wang zanghai to any of this at all is the purple and gold box containing the copper fish, since whether or not the box had originally been there and he simply emptied it of its contents or brought it in from outside, he’s the one who placed the copper fish in it

as to why if it was wu sanxing who planted the fake silkbook he would shift the blame onto xiaoge, my theory on that would be that xiaoge was another convenient means of stringing wu xie along into the xisha expedition mystery by virtue of him being zhang qiling and therefore both highly mysterious and suspicious, as well as personally involved. part of me wonders if part of the reason wu sanxing went to chen pi ah si to hire xiaoge specifically because he was added insurance that he would have the means to trigger wu xie’s curiosity, and provide a first clue to lead him into the It conspiracy. wu sanxing did use the picture of the expedition team to explicitly tie xiaoge into it along with the copper fish story, so there’s that to consider

the third account

which finally brings me to the final version of the king shang of lu story, which is the one given to li cu during the wang family powerpoint lesson. this particular version also overlaps with the story of king mu of zhou and the queen mother of the west, but i’ll get to in another part of this meta. so this version of the story is mostly ironically both the version that most blatantly contradicts the first two, while also being the version most accurate to the tiny introduction we get to king shang of lu at the entrance of the seven star palace that says he was “born with a ghost seal and could borrow ghost soldiers from the underworld”. the only real issue with that this third version has it’s told by the wang family to li cu, so just by virtue of it coming from obvious wang propaganda, it’s immediately suspicious by nature

going back to speculations about who planted the fake silkbook version of king shang of lu’s story in the seven star palace, it then also raises the question of, if the wangs were the ones who did it, what motive they would have had not only to do so, but to tell the story in that particular way, only to then tell a completely different one to someone they consider a candidate to join them. in my opinion, the only thing that makes this third version hold water is that given how it’s explained to li cu, and how wang xiaoyuan (the girl who passes by the window during the lesson) has the same version of it, the wang family believes this version is true, and by virtue of that, it gains a little more credibility, bc suspicious as they are and twisted by their own biases their version of history may be, the wang family is nonetheless well-informed for the most part. not to mention because the narrative has the wang family consistently mirror the zhang family and the way they function so perfectly it’s almost eerie, it stands to reason that the wang family also dabble in historical revisionism when they can, so putting out a fake version of history onto a fabricated silkbook seems up their alley

i’ll get into king mu of zhou separately because that’s a whole other can of worms, but this final version of king shang of lu’s story begins between the “emperor” of the state of lu and his advisor, the owner of a fox mask “with ancient patterns that often appeared on bronze ware” (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 132, Lesson). the “emperor” asks his advisor “around 1000 BC” (fyi the original says 一千年上下 which amounts to “around 1000 years” but it’s more of an approximation and can technically encompass the warring states period too) as a hypothetical whether or not it’s possible “to prevent people from dying”, to which the advisor answers that he himself doesn’t know how, but he does know where to find something that can “beneath the loess inside the mountains”. he then goes on to tell the tale of king mu of zhou to the “emperor”, and of how he was given an elixir of immortality by the queen mother of the west that he likely hid inside of his tomb centuries ago

it very quickly becomes apparent to the reader that this story is an obvious ploy by the owner of the fox mask, who in sensing that the “emperor”, while tempted, is reluctant to cast all appearance of morality aside to deploy his troops to rob king mu of zhou’s grave, calls a “strange man” to the court who’s “believed to be a descendent of the zhou emperor” (that is to say king mu of zhou) “who was able to communicate with the underworld”. the ruler of the state of lu thus gives this “strange man” a jade seal and seals him in an iron coffin deep in a well for 49 days, saying that if he can come back up from it with the ghost seal in hand after having successfully spoken to king mu of zhou, then it would be proof of king mu granting him permission to rob his tomb and take the immortality elixir from it. and so this “strange man” does, in fact, come back, not only with the ghost seal in hand, but with an imperial edict written by king mu of zhou himself that granted him the title of king shang (殇 shang meaning to die young or at war) as well as all the contents of his tomb

the ruler of the state of lu then uses this to make several leaps in logic to justify being in the right if he deploys his troops to rob king mu of zhou’s tomb, because if this “strange man” can communicate with the underworld and was given a title relating to dead people, then surely that means that this strange “king shang” is likely dead himself, and that king mu of zhou chose him as his heir after he’d died. it’s a very convenient out for the ruler of the state of lu to say that he’s only helping an esteemed deceased elder to recover his birthright if he makes him a general and lends him troops to go find king mu of zhou’s tomb (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 133, King Mu of Zhou)

it’s also quickly obvious to the reader that the owner of the fox mask and this newly minted king shang of lu are in fact working together, given it was the former who referred the latter to the state of lu’s court in the first place, which is something i’ll come back to in another part of this meta. from here, under the ruler of the state of lu’s orders, king shang and the owner of the fox mask, together with more grave robbers who also wore fox masks (as according to the wang family, foxes would live in graveyards and grave robber’s tunnels at the time, and so grave robbers associated their imagery with the profession), began their search for king mu of zhou’s tomb and the immortality elixir it supposedly contained. while this version of the story of king shang of lu more or less ends here, you could assume the rest of it might follow along the same lines of the first two versions, and maybe it does. you’d then assume that the person king shang and the owner of the fox mask (who’s by then inferred to be iron mask from the previous two versions) find in the western zhou tomb is king mu of zhou, who they then divest of the jade burial armor to take for themselves

however, one very important detail in this version compromises this assumption: king mu of zhou isn’t actually dead, and he thus gave king shang the edict personally (Sand Sea Part III, Ch. 134, Deception). what this means is that the ruler of the state of lu was duped presumably not by two, but three people, all of whom were working together to find the jade burial armor for who appears to be king mu of zhou. in other words, where the other two versions of the story have two key players, this final version suddenly introduces a third one, and that changes things. how much it does is what i’ll be getting into in the next part on king mu of zhou more specifically

(tbc in part II and part III of this madness)

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers CHAOS LINEAGE ー Subaru [04]

ー The scene starts in the hallway of the Violet Manor

Subaru: We’re here. Get in.

Yui: Eh? But...Subaru-kun, this is...

Subaru: No buts, just go. God. Don’t take forever.

Yui: O-Okay. I understand...

ー Yui enters the kitchen

Yui: ( I wonder why he took me here? )

Kou: Ahー There she is. Welcome!

Laito: Oh? You actually brought her here.

Azusa: We’ve been waiting for you...I’m glad to see you here...

Yui: What brings you all here?

Kou: What do you mean? Do people do other things in a kitchen besides cook?

Azusa: We’re getting everything ready for a welcome party...And we’d like you to help us out with the cooking...

Yui: A welcome party...? Will we have visitors over?

Kou: Of course not! Your welcome party, duh!

Laito: We feel really bad for what we did, you see? Sorry for throwing you into a cell out of the blue.

This party is meant to welcome you, as well as serve as an apology.

Kou: Carla-kun told us to do this so don’t worry. We’re not acting without permission.

Laito: That being said, we aren’t exactly great cooks, so even though you’re the guest of honor, we’d like to ask for your help.

Yui: Well...

( I honestly didn’t think they’d do such a thing for me... )

( They’re holding a welcome party for me. )

( Subaru-kun is... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( Not in the best of moods, as I figured. I wonder if he’s against the idea? He was completely enraged yesterday after all. )

( No, I shouldn’t keep thinking so negatively. I might as well take them up on their offer. )

I’ll gladly help out. Let’s put together a delicious feast, okay?

Kou: Thank god!

Laito: It’d be boring to have a bunch of guys flock together in the kitchen. 

We’re very happy to have you help out.

Azusa: Yeah, I feel relieved...

Yui: ( Now that you mention it, none of them are particularly skilled in the kitchen. )

*Cling*

Kou: Here you go. Use this to cut up the ingredients, okay?

*Cling*

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Oi, don’t get distracted! ...What if you cut your finger?”

“Stop starin’ at me! Is it that funny to watch me cook!?”

Yui: Hey, how did you cook your meals up till now?

Kou: Well, the four of us did try to work together. 

But Laito would always dip at one point or another and both Azusa-kun and I are better at eating food than preparing it...

Subaru-kun would pull through till the end despite all his complaints but to be honest, the meals he made were never ones to write home about...

Subaru: I’m sorry it tasted like shit! Maybe make it yourself then!

Kou: Just kidding~ We’re counting on you, so continue to try your best for us, okay~?

Subaru: Fuck off, I’ll kill you.

Yui: Fufu...Subaru-kun always takes care of those around him, doesn’t he?

Kou: Even though he’s the baby of the family~

Laito: Such a good boy he is.

Azusa: Subaru is...a nice guy...

Subaru: You shitheads really need to just shut up! Eve, don’t you dare laugh either!!

Selection

→ I thought it was cute (🖤)

Yui: Uhm, it’s cu...

Subaru: Aah!?

Yui: ( I guess he’ll get mad if I admit to finding it cute. )

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: I’m sorry, it’s nothing.

→ Genuinely apologize (♡)

Yui: I’m sorry, Subaru-kun. I couldn’t help myself...

Subaru: Apologizing won’t fix it.

Yui: R-Right.

Subaru: Oi, don’t look so serious. I’m not mad or anything.

Kou: Subaru-kun’s really nice despite his potty mouthー

Yui: ( He’s always looking out for those around him despite being somewhat of a lone wolf. )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( ...I feel a bit better after laughing. The atmosphere isn’t as awkward as it was yesterday. )

Subaru-kun. I’ll lend you a hand, so let’s try our hardest together?

Subaru: Che...Fine, whatever.

Then pass those to me once you’ve cut them.

Yui: S-Sure.

*Chop*

Yui: ...Hey, Subaru-kun. Does this look good in terms of size?

Subaru: Ah? Ahー...I guess? Why are you asking me?

Yui: Eh? I mean, because you said that you’ve done most of the cooking up till now...

Subaru: But you’re the better cook, aren’t you?

...Besides, the stuff you make tastes better than mine as well.

Yui: ( Eh...? What did he say just now...? )

( Did he say it tastes delicious? Even though I haven’t cooked at all since I came here. )

( Are here memories coming back, perhaps...? )

Hey, Subaru-kun. How do you know what my cooking is like?

Subaru: ...Hah?

Yui: I mean, you just said that I’m the better cook...

Subaru: ...

No...I said it on a whim. I just imagine it’s better, no need to read into it.

Laito: Ah, are you perhaps sweet talking her to win Eve over?

Kou: Eh? Is that so!? You’re a clever strategist, Subaru-kun~

Subaru: Don’t be ridiculous! You guys should move your hands instead of your mouths!

Azusa: Exactly...Carla might get mad at us...if we don’t get everything ready on time...

Laito: I’m so sick and tired of that guy lecturing me. I’ll take this seriously even though it’s a drag.

Kou: Good point. We’re counting on you, Eve!

Yui: Then, could you tell me what we’re making today?

Kou: Sure~

Laito: Can’t you make everything while you’re at it? I doubt we’ll be of much help anyway.

Subaru: We’re not doing that. Oi, Laito. Don’t you dare sleep on the job today.

Azusa: Eve...I look forward to cooking with you...

Monologue

The four of us peacefully,

prepared the welcome party.

While spending time like this,

the strange situation currently taking place,

almost seemed to not exist at all.

Fake memories and incorrect family relationships.

Even so, it was fun,

to all cook together.

Since I was still unfamiliar with the kitchen,

things did not always go as planned. 

However, we somehow managed to finish the dishes,

as the welcome party started without too much trouble.

After cleaning up the beautiful kitchen,

we headed for the dining room.

Since we were done with all the preparations,

Azusa-kun went to Carla-san’s room,

to go get him.

ー The scene shifts to the dining lounge

Carla: Everyone is here?

Azusa: Yeah, we are...

Carla: The food looks rather delicious as well.

Laito: Pretty unfair how you leave everything up to us when it comes to these kinds of things.

Carla: You want me to cook? I have always left such small household chores in your hands.

Kou: Ehー? I’m pretty sure it’s more accurate to say that you’re forcing them onto us...?

Azusa: Carla is taking command in this fight...So I am sure he has...a lot on his head already...

Kou: You’re right, Azusa-kun. I know.

Laito: Carla loves to make it difficult on himself, huh? Having to fight for the title of Supreme Overlord just sounds like a lot of trouble, doesn’t it?

Carla: Since I am the first-born of this family, it is my duty to lead and protect you.

Furthermore, there is not a single person in this World more fit for the title of Supreme Overlord.

Kou: Carla does seem like the perfect fit since he loves to be in charge, so I guess it works out in that sense.

Laito: I guess you could say he’s just the right person for the job?

Yui: ( Carla-san is everyone’s older brother...Something really does seem terribly off about this family make-up. )

( I wonder if the others really don’t remember anything about their real brothers? )

( Especially Carla-san, being a Founder, he is different from the others who are Vampires... )

( However, they were so kind to organize such a lovely welcome party for me. )

( Right now, I’ll show my gratitude and accept the sentiment. )

( ...Huh? The ring around my napkin has been decorated with a cute flower. )

( The others’ napkins don’t have anything of such sort, so did somebody put it on there for me? )

( I guess it’s part of welcoming me into the house? That makes me very happy. )

( I suppose it shows that they’re trying to be considerate of me? )

*TIMESKIP*

Carla: Well then, now that the banquet has started, I would like to share a couple of words. Eveーー

Yui: Yes, what is the matter?

Carla: Please forgive my previous crude behavior.

Yui: Eh...?

( I can’t believe he’s apologizing to me. Why...? )

Carla: You are necessary to our family. I would like to welcome you once more as our visitor.

Yui: ...

( Necessary...Because I’m Eve pretty much, right? )

( Rather than locking me up inside a prison cell and forcing me to cooperate with their plans. )

( Are they perhaps trying to win me over so I’ll willingly become their ally? )

( All so Carla-san can become the Supreme Overlord. )

( If that’s the case...I’m not sure how to feel about it. )

( I’m pretty sure that’s the reason why they organized this welcome party for me as well. )

( But when I look at everyone’s happy faces, I can’t just flat-out reject them, can I? )

( For now, I’ll just genuinely show my gratitude for their efforts... )

( No matter what kind of ulterior motives they may have... )

*Cling*

Kou: Azusa-kun, if you won’t finish your plate, I’ll take it~ 

Azusa: Ah...

Kou: Ehehe~ I ate it.

Yui: ( Ah, Kou-kun stole one of Azusa-kun’s sides. )

Subaru: Oi, Kou! How many times do I have to tell you to stop takin’ food from others!? Do somethin’ ‘bout that bad habit of yours already!

Laito: Don’t you need to stop them? It creates some ambiance, but it’s hard to enjoy my meal in peace like this.

Carla: Not my problem. Let them do that.

Laito: No, I’m pretty sure you should stop them?

Carla: It is not up to me to tell them how they should go about having their meal. Just ignore them until they’ve had their fun.

Subaru: They just have shit manners, no...?

Yui: ( I’m pretty sure Ruki-kun would stop them... )

( Carla-san always struck me as the type of person who’d be very strict about etiquette, but I guess he’s surprisingly lax in that regard? )

( I guess it’s because he was never that type of person? )

( Or perhaps it’s because Kou-kun and Azusa-kun aren’t his real brothers? I’m not sure which it is. )

Kou: I don’t mind behaving if you share some of your sides with me, Laito-kun?

Laito: ...Actually, I can tell by the look on Subaru-kun’s face that he’s simply dying to share his food with his older brothers.

Subaru: I’m not! Why me...?

Azusa: ...Subaru. 

Subaru: ...Guh. Those puppy eyes won’t work on me.

Yui: Fufu. Kou-kun, Azusa-kun. If you’d like, you can have mine?

Azusa: Eh? Are you sure...? You’re such a kind girl, aren’t you...?

Kou: Hooray!

Subaru: Oi, don’t spoil them too much.

Carla: Are you sure, Eve? You are the guest of honor tonight.

Yui: Yes, I’ve already eaten plenty after all.

Carla: I see. You can do as you please then.

Kou: Thanks, Eve!

Azusa: I’m happy...Thank you...

Yui: You’re welcome. Honestly, it was worth making all of this now that I see all of you enjoying it so much.

( Even though the families have gotten jumbled up alongside their lost memories... )

( I guess things are going rather smoothly right now? )

Monologue

I do not think things should stay like this. 

However, for now, I want to treasure,

this moment of peace.

While watching everyone,

interact in a friendly and peaceful manor,

the loneliness I feel inside becomes somewhat more bearable as well.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[jamies-latex-lust]

Bea's in the Trap

As an investigative journalist, Bea never had much success with her stories. However, she finally had a lead on something big.

In recent months, Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian had moved in together. Both had announced new pregnancies at around the same time. They even hired some no-name as a live-in butler.

Bea had investigated into this, and found a connection between the three. A woman named Jamie had introduced both women to the man. It seemed Jamie had developed a new type of latex, and Bea found out that Nicki Minaj, a fan of latex herself, had been in talks with Jamie.

After bribing a guard, Bea managed to get backstage at Nicki's concert. She was exploring around the rooms when someone came up behind her and placed a cloth over her mouth.

Bea awoke sometime later, tied to a wall. Her clothes had been stripped off of her and she was now wearing a latex bodysuit. She couldn't see her whole body, but she could tell the suit covered every part of her face except her eyes and mouth. "Why are you doing this?" Bea demanded. "What did I do to you?" The person who had bound her arms and legs came up to her. It was Nicki Minaj herself!

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart," Nicki said. "You're going to be fine."

Nicki pulled out a makeup kit and sat in front of Bea, starting to put lipstick on Bea's exposed lips.

Bea couldn't believe this. She'd had a crush on Nicki Minaj for a long time, but never imagined the rapper would be doing her makeup. Her heart was beating fast as she blushed under the latex.

"Why are you doing this?" Bea asked.

"You were getting too close to the truth," Nicki said. "So, Jamie and I collaborated to deal with you. Of course, I guess you can know now."

Bea gulped. She knew she needed to escape, but she also knew this would be her only chance to find out what was happening. This was her big break that would get her out of tabloids and into real journalism. She needed to take the chance.

"Who is Jamie?" Bea asked. "And why did you work with her?" "Jamie is a mistress of latex," Nicki said. "Many people have given up their lives to be her latex drones. But awhile back, one of them wasn't working out well. Thankfully, she'd already developed a new type of latex to make use of him." Bea frowned. What was Nicki talking about? "What happened to him?" Bea asked.

"He was placed in a special bodysuit," Nicki said. "It allowed anyone Jamie chose to use his body as their own. His body was basically rented out to whoever paid enough. Kim Kardashian was the first. For seven hours, as she slept, Kim would control the guy's body. Celebrities really don't have enough time every day." Bea's eyes widened. This was huge! "So Jamie had that man use his body as a substitute for Kim's?" Bea asked. "Yes," Nicki said, now working on Bea's eyeshadow. "The average person is awake for 16 hours though. So, when Kim wasn't using the body, Katy Perry would." It all suddenly made sense now. Kim and Katy were using that butler's body, and met because of that. He was working for Jamie! "Is he still alive?" Bea asked. "Oh, he most certainly is," Nicki said. "After all, his new owners need help with the children they're having."

"They're his?" Bea asked.

"In a sense," Nicki said. "When Kim and Katy found out about sharing the body, they connected over this. They had quite a lot of fun together whenever one was using the body. Eventually, they both started a relationship, and I'm sure you can figure out the rest." Nicki finished putting Bea's eyeshadow. She looked at the girl and smiled. "You're beautiful," Nicki said. "You're going to be a star." Nicki stood up and went into a closet.

Bea's had was spinning. Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian were piloting a guy's body and had started a relationship with each other. This was big. Bigger than big!

If she could get out of here, Bea would have the story of a lifetime. As Bea struggled against her restraints, Nicki returned in a pink and purple latex dress, holding a wig that matched her current hair. She stared at Bea and smirked.

"I'm so glad I found you," she said. Nicki put the wig on Bea's head and rolled a mirror over. As Bea stared into it, she realized she looked like Nicki now.

Nicki walked over and held Bea's face up to the mirror, making sure she saw herself.

"Don't you just love your new look?" Nicki asked. "Please, untie me," Bea said. "I have a big story to tell." Nicki sighed. "I'll untie you in a bit," Nicki said. "But I can't have you leaking this story. No. There's a bigger reason why I told you."

Bea looked at herself and at Nicki. It was starting to click.

"You're going to be my new body," Nicki said, with a seductive laugh. "Kim and Katy found out you were snooping around and when Jamie found out, I offered to help stop you from uncovering the secret of this latex. I'd been wanting my own latex drone body anyway, so it worked out well."

"You're going to take over my body?" Bea asked.

"Only while I sleep," Nicki said. "But trust me, you're going to love it. You're going to be the center of attention."

Bea was shocked, and as Nicki walked away, Bea started to struggle again.

"We need to do something about that resistance first," Nicki said.

Nicki leaned down and began hypnotically twerking her cheeks.

"Stare and let yourself fall under my control," Nicki said.

Bea wanted to look away, but she couldn't help stealing a glimpse of Nicki's butt. It was so perfect. So voluptuous. It was the perfect fit for her latex.

Bea tried to resist Nicki's directions. She had to escape and get this story out there.

Nicki got closer and closer to Bea, filling more of her vision with her bouncing butt buns.

"You are helpless to resist," Nicki said. "So, relax and enjoy the ride."

Bea couldn't help but let her gaze drop to the point where Nicki's butt met her gaze. The pattern on the latex looked almost like a hypnotic spiral, while the rhythm of Nicki's butt and hips drew her gaze.

"Repeat after me," Nicki ordered. "I submit myself to Queen Nicki."

"I submit myself to Queen Nicki," Bea repeated in monotone.

"My body belongs to Queen Nicki," Nicki said.

"My body belongs to Queen Nicki," Bea again repeated. "No one can resist Queen Nicki," Nicki said. "No one can resist Queen Nicki," Bea repeated. Nicki got right up against Bea. As her crush tweaked against her, the last of Bea's resistance faded. She would gladly accept anything her queen, Nicki Minaj, asked of her.

Bea felt weak as Nicki untied her. Nicki caught her new slave and pet the young woman's head.

"Good," Nicki said. "Get some rest. I need your body to be perfect when I'm on the news tomorrow." Bea looked at Nicki's perfect butt and perfect face. She'd never felt so happy before. Nicki smiled seductively, alluringly at Bea and kissed her. Bea passed out in her new mistress's arms.

The next day, as Nicki Minaj was being interviewed, she was dressed in a new latex outfit.

"Oh, I got this from my good friend Jamie," Nicki said. "Katy Perry introduced me to her. Oh, and I'd like to congratulate Katy and Kim on their recent pregnancies."

"Now, Ms. Minaj, if I may ask," the interviewer said. "You performed late into the night, and besides a brief break in your hotel room, you were back out signing autographs for fans, and still found time to come on my show, yet you still look great. How do you do it?"

While Nicki's real body slept soundly, her drone body looked at the interviewer and smiled.

The trap had worked perfectly and the only person who knew was now being used as an extra body for her.

Nicki said with a chuckle, "That's a secret."

[v8mpvrse]

i love a little controversial topic in hockey so:

Bennett hit on Marchand:

let’s be so fr marchand was gearing up for a hit. it sucks (we never wish an injury on an opponent unless they are pieces of shit) that he got injured but as boston fans u can’t seriously think anyone’s gonna listen to yall about a “dirty hit” bc it wasnt. and yall bringing up bennett’s “history” (i don’t know much about that i’m new here gimme a break😭) with dirty plays….girl….ur captain is the poster boy for that shit. get real LMFAOOO boston fans are very much immature pls grow up and stop blaming a shitty night for yall on EVERYTHING else BUT ur players.

the almost trouba hit:

it was about to be a dangerous hit from him and karma got his ass before he could do it - someone whose praying on the canes downfall.

mcdavid highstick on hughes:

connor when i catch ur cursed ass. i’ve watched the replay of that hit many times and u can see mcdavid literally LOOK AT HIS STICK and KEEP SKATING. this man is the best player in the world and he resorts to dirty plays to win? yeah LOSER BEHAVIOR. the oilers were playing like a team that doesn’t think they can win and is desperate. like losers. there were many missed calls on BOTH sides and weird asf reffing but that missed four minute tipped the scales HEAVILY. and i saw ppl talk about the canucks playing bad after that highstick and ykw maybe they did. but if the best player in the world can get away with making one of our guys BLEED i’d be second guessing everything i do and be scared to play any sort of aggressive hockey in fear of getting a penalty. i hate dirty plays from GOOD PLAYERS WHO ARE ABOVE THAT SHIT. a bunch of fucking losers u guys didn’t earn that win and quite frankly if they do end up winning i hope they know it’s not bc they’re good. (even if it was on accident imo i think it’s good sportsmanship to go to the box anyways.) fuckass fanbase, bitchass playstyle last night and pathetic behavior from a good player.

gonna make this a series atfp cus i’m tired of biased bs from men online i’ll call it Controversial Talks With Cherry LMFAO

[haechanhues]

chapter thirty eight : jester’s play 

*written*

warnings : a staredown. If a certain someone wasn’t the love interest of this fic i’d say he’s giving alpha male mentalities - but no it’s just Mr Always-Broody. I hate to say it but I hope Minho is frustrating you guys this chapter :)

word count : 1.1k 

Minho stares at Yoon with an unfeeling look, it’s not a cold nor a harsh glare but the indifference falls out of him in waves, unrelenting. It’s her boyfriend, Chan’s pleading eyes that have Minho nodding with begrudging agreement. 

Yoon claps her hands excitedly, ‘Perfect. We just need to find the leading lady.’ 

Han has an idea. So stupid and risky that he feels like he’s been picking at Hyunjin’s brain for the past few minutes as he rests on the thought. 

‘I’ve got it,’ Han mutters to Yoon as he walks past, not stopping to hear confirmation. Minho’s eyes him with faux disinterest before his attention is caught by the tape measure wrapping around his neck. 

Han scans the hallway for your sweet face and smiles briefly. You look better today, Jeongin is playing with your hair and Isa is critically examining your face for any tears. But he knows best of all that you’re camouflaging the sadness behind your newly manicured nails and bright smile. 

He smacks his lips together as he stalks towards you, reaching for your hands and holding them at arm's length. You blink at him, confused. He smiles softly at you, letting your eyes trickle down the planes of his face before making eye contact. 

‘Come,’ Is the only thing he says before pulling you towards the room. You freeze a little, hyper aware that your ex boyfriend is in the very same room he’s pulling you towards, and you almost stagger through the door. Heads turn to look at you both, slightly perturbed at the ‘broken-up’ couple. 

‘Jisung,’ You whimper, struggling against his gentle grip, uncomfortable. 

‘It’ll be okay, Y/N,’ Han promises, you squeeze at his hands as if he’s your life support. Yoon grins as she sees your face. 

‘You can act, Y/N?!’ Yoon titters, as she rushes up to the pair of you, flickering over the hesitancy of your face, ‘...I’m guessing your friend didn’t tell you anything?’ 

You shook your head, all of your focus going into Yoon’s pretty smile rather than the broody frame in the back, casting a shadow on your heart with his signature. 

‘Well I need to place placements and our actors aren’t here. They’re off doing this team building exercise. You and Minho just need to talk, maybe pretend to argue a bit and just try and make it as natural as you can… no biggie.’ 

No biggie. 

With bated breath, you stand in front of Minho, looking at him with wide eyes and a tremble in your eyebrow. 

‘It's only Minho, Y/N, don’t worry,’ Chan grins at you supportively, preening under the appreciative look from Yoon. 

Of course. 

Only MInho. 

You wipe at the stray away hairs framing your face, feeling self conscious of the lack of distance between yourself and Minho. He doesn’t look horrible, he never could. But you can tell that the moon has gazed upon his face far more than the sun has. Under your incessant focus, Minho instead focuses on the details. 

Your skin. Your eyes. Your hair. 

The way you inhale and exhale so softly, he wants to lean forward to check if you’re really breathing. In a poor attempt to distract himself, he fans his fingers in his hand, scratching his nails across his palm.

Your skin. Your eyes. Your hair. 

Do you even realise how many times you have brushed back your hair? With the way your eyes are scanning his face, he finds that you probably don’t. But he does. 

You unconsciously lift your hand again, but before it can reach its destination, he reaches for your hair and clips it around your ear. Letting the air between you thicken with longing. He stills… your skin. Your eyes. Your hair. Yours. 

Your skin is soft. So soft. His fingers could almost dance across the smooth expanse of it. It’s as warm as he remembers. 

Your eyes are curious and he’s sure that they glimmer the longer he stares at it. You always did have eyes that got to him. They were the reason why he hadn’t managed to get a decent sleep since the break up. 

Why did you break up again? 

Your skin. Your eyes. Your hair. 

Your hair. The relentless strand of hair springs out behind the ear, leaving the reason to brush it back, useless and unnecessary. Unwarranted. Not allowed. 

He pulls his hand back with that thought, coming to his surroundings. He licks his lips, stepping away from you. Your eyes are almost swimming with moisture, but you’re not crying. Not yet anyway. 

He cocks his head towards Yoon, face devoid of any emotion, ‘Can I leave now?’ 

Before Yoon can yell out a desperate dismissal. You grip the end of his shirt, the seams of the fabric rubbing against your palm soothingly. You stare at the boy you love, feeling the bravest you’ve ever felt. 

‘Do you hate me that much?’ 

He frowns down at you, quickly irritated by a question so ridiculous. He doesn’t say a word however. Doesn’t give you the satisfaction of opening his mouth. 

This is the Minho that anti-Minho pages are built on. 

But this time, you’ve experienced it for yourself and you’re not backing down. You want answers. You want a remedy to this onslaught of questions you’ve had since. Feelings you’ve had. The inability to move on. 

‘Say something,’ God, you hate how much your voice cracks. Truly a betrayal of the courage swirling in your stomach, ‘Please.’ 

Minho’s eyes implore you, almost searching for something. You don’t know what he’s looking for. You don’t know whether to wish he finds it or not. All you know is that his gaze lights you up in a way that only he can and you can feel yourself pushed between the feelings of grief, anger and longing. 

‘I need you to tell me, Minho,’ You grit. He says nothing, and that seems to be his theme. Standing in silence, challenging you with a stare that is meant to break you down. As if it’s his life mission to push you so far away from him, you’re a speck in the distance. 

‘Holy shit-’ 

‘Woah I didn’t know Minho could act?’ 

‘I know she used to be with Jisung but I kind of ship it’ 

‘Girl, that is not okay. They just broke up.’ 

‘You didn’t just see that? Bro the tension. The chemistry.’ 

You didn’t particularly care for their opinions and neither did Minho. But the loud, obnoxious voice of your fake ex boyfriend rips the two of you away from your stare down, ‘Oh, don’t worry about that… we were never together.’ 

Your eyes widen as you give Han a look that could bring the gods to their  knees. 

But Han is looking at Minho with his own challenging stare to which Minho meets. His eyes return to your frame before flickering back towards Jisung again. Jisung’s eyes dance as he imagines a chess board in front of him. 

He knows that the move of his has placed his friend into a checkmate. One that he can’t look or run away from anymore. 

Fine. 

Minho nods. 

Minho’s move. 

J U S T  S A Y  I T

you have two boyfriends. one’s fake and the other a secret. one is avoiding love whilst the other is slowly opening himself to it. a story in which one’s cowardice, another’s insecurities and your own volition leads you here, overwhelmed and exhausted, in the middle of two best friends.

chapter thirty eight : jester’s play

masterlist | prev | next

taglist : @soobin-chois @penny-quinn @brit97 @bestleeknowstan @hhjkji @skzgallll @aspenwritesstuff @amara-mars @midsoulz @kflixnet @flvr4ane @01liacore @septicrebel

[scorpiongrassfield]

You Have To Tell Him

Start | Prev

It just doesn’t seem right not to say something about it. 

The question now is how do you break it to him gently. 

Pat has said you’re not very good at this sort of thing, and you certainly feel like you aren’t. 

But you know Pat won’t help you with this one, so here you go. 

“So… The connection you share with the shadow is a little. Different,” you hedge. 

“Oh?” 

“We, or I, I guess, think that the shadow might have… possessed you. Just a little bit,” you say. 

A glance at Pat reveals that they’re covering their face with a hand, head tilted down slightly. 

“How does one get possessed ‘just a little bit’?” Theo asks, looking more intrigued than anything. 

“You aren’t possessed all the time. And it doesn’t stay for long. Just long enough to drop some cryptic advice or ask us to be careful,” you explain. 

“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” Pat says. 

“Ah. Sorry. I’m just. Not really feeling my emotions very well at the moment,” Theo says, looking apologetic. 

“That's not something you need to apologize for,” Pat assures him. 

“Oh. Okay, thank you,” Theo says, returning to his drawing. 

“How sure are you that the shadow is not harming me?” he asks after a beat. 

“Pretty sure,” you say. 

“Why?” 

You pause. You aren’t really entirely sure why. 

“It… kind of reminds me of you, in some ways. I don’t know if that’s a byproduct of the possession or not, but… yeah. You seem like similar people. That and it’s supposed to be a guardian, supposed to protect people. I can’t imagine it would hurt you,” you eventually explain. 

“Oh, how are we similar?” 

Well they both have this sense of lost helplessness about them when they’re stressed. But you’re pretty sure that would be rude to say. 

“It sounds like you do when Pat isn’t around,” you eventually decide on. 

Theo looks like a deer in headlights. 

Pat’s got an eyebrow raised. “Does he act different when I’m not around?” Then they pause. “Sorry it’s rude to talk about you like that right in front of you. You act different when I’m not around?” 

Theo is not partially hiding behind the sketchbook, which does not work well because it is very small. 

“Well. I… Yes I suppose so. It’s just that you’re very um… You’re very cool. And that makes me a little nervous, I suppose,” Theo manages to say eventually. 

“Aw, that’s sweet. I promise I don’t bite though, kid,” Pat says, coming to give Theo a pat on the shoulder. 

“You don’t get nervous around me, though?” you ask. 

Theo shakes his head, “Not as much, no. Not because I don’t think you’re cool, though I think maybe cu- uh actually no I’m not saying that. But, um, you just put me at ease somehow. It’s like we’re old friends who have known each other for a long time, sometimes,” he fumbles to explain. 

Your stomach sinks. You refuse to allow that to sound familiar. You’re not thinking about it right now. 

“You’re really not scared about the possibility of being possessed?” Pat prods. 

Theo shrugs. “I… think I would prefer it if he asked first, but if we’re sure he hasn’t done anything untowards… what’s a small favor to my fellow ghost here and there?” 

Pat is looking at Theo like there's something wrong with him, but Theo has his eyes fixed firmly on the paper of the sketchbook, so he does not seem to notice. 

That all went better than you thought it would. 

You put connections between Theo and the shadow up on the board. 

“There’s also another connection between Theo and all this,” Pat says as they approach the board. 

“What’s that?” Theo asks. 

Concrete jumps up onto the arm of his chair and he readjusts so the cat can sit on his lap. 

“Well, according to my sources, your house exists in what may either be some weird parallel world, or someone else’s soul,” Pat explains. 

They fish your drawing of the cabin out of the pile of papers and pin it up, connecting it to everyone except themself. 

“Their soul…” Theo echoes. 

“Speaking of souls, I don’t know if you know this, Theo, but your body isn’t actually here right now. It’s more of a projection of your soul than anything,” Pat says. 

“Is that so?” Theo asks. He’s focused on petting Concrete. 

“It is,” Pat confirms. 

There’s a strange tension in the air. You can’t quite place the cause though. 

“The cabin in the woods is strange. It looks like this one on the outside, but the inside can get kind of twisted. Also…” you trail off. 

“Also?” Pat prompts. 

“Sometimes Ametrine manages to get control of it somehow? I’m not sure what triggers it but sometimes the cabin… bites me,” you say. 

“Really…?” Pat says, half-disbelieving. 

You nod. 

“Um. I’ve finished the portrait,” Theo says, pulling your attention to him. 

“Would either of you like to come take it from me? I don’t want to disturb Concrete,” he says after another moment. 

Concrete is purring heavily, eyes closed in contentment. 

“Yeah that’s reasonable,” Pat says. They take the sketchbook from Theo and tear the sketch out along the perforation. 

It’s a nice drawing. His style really is pretty. And he managed to catch you looking shy somehow. 

Pat pins it up on the board in the spot they designated. 

“Very nice work Theo,” Pat praises. 

“Oh. Thank you,” Theo says. 

It feels so strange, looking at an image of yourself. You don’t like it. 

“So,” Pat says, drawing your and Theo’s attention. 

“This seems like a good time to solve one of our mysteries. Sylv here has been traveling into someone’s soul on and off lately,” they explain. 

“And it’s not my own, probably,” you add. 

Pat nods. 

“And whoever’s soul this is happens to have your house inside it. And the cell phone that fell out of your pocket when you got pushed. And a mysterious shadow that bares some resemblance to you,” they explain. 

And oh. You think you see where Pat is going with this… 

“Well. I suppose that would imply that this shadow has some significant connection to me then, yes,” Theo agrees. 

“I think I know what’s going on,” you say. 

Pat doesn’t look surprised. 

Theo also seems remarkably calm. 

What will you say?

Next

[ask-chaosfam-neo]

Welcome everyone to Neo's personal ASKBLOG!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

->Where we shall discuss everything from favorite things to munch on to whatever happened while at the Nexus :D

a drawing is meant to be here just gimme a minute to finish it teehee

--SOME QUICK RULES BEFORE WE START--

I feel like every askblog needs to have a set of them, so here you have some really (i guess) basic rules

1.- THE IMPORTANT INFORMATION

This is an oc AskBlog taking place in an OC centric Rise of the TMNT apocalypse AU in which earthlings managed to get the upper hand before and at the moment of the apocalypse that happens in the first segment of the movie, leading to much more of a "normal" life while still in the ruins and in imminent danger thanks to the Krang. My OC is in this universe alongside some of my friends' OCs that started this AU, some of them have followed my lead and created askblogs for themselves :D I'll leave links to them right here if you wanna check them out (will update as more askblogs are created)

Dahlia a.k.a. the mother <3

Sho a.k.a. the other (technically first) grumpy emo child

Tysk a.k.a. the sweetest sister :3

Glitzi a.k.a. sciencey chaos child

!!!! I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THAT THIS BLOG IN BOTH THE ROTTMNT AND OC LORE CONTEXT IS SEMI-CANON !!!! Anything that happens here is affected by pre-established lore but may not necessarily affect future events! so I don't have to worry about timeline issues lmao My sona might make some appearances too from time to time so if you see a star themed gremlin from time to time that's me hiii :D

2.- THE MUSE/CHARACTER

Neo "Turmoil" Sone Cruz, my silly RotTMNT hybrid oc that you'll get to uncover lore of as the askblog progresses! Basic information would be that they were a child fighter at the Nexus from 8-13 years old, escaped, and much later in life at 17 got adopted by the Kaylus family. Now, at the age of 19, they're moody and sarcastic mostly but for this blog they get to be a bit more laid-back since most of the sad stuff has already happened to them. most of them.

3.- THE MUN/OWNER

DeesOhTee/superneovastar which is ME!! and just me (for now unless a friend offers to co-manage the blog or smth)

4.- MY BOUNDARIES N STUFF

No NSFW pls!!! even though the character is not a minor I'd feel very iffy since this character is still very much a teen and means a lot to me personally :)

Anything that makes me uncomfortable will be rightfully deleted.

If you have any questions that are not related to my OC directly but more like the worldbuilding or me the creator, ask away! Also counts for any confusion you might have about these rules but AS ALWAYS be decent about it and don't be a weirdo ty :3

5.- ASK AND ANONS

1. One question per ask please! You may have two only if they’re directly related.

2. M!A is allowed, to a degree. M!As need to be something that could reasonably happen in the apocalypse and mystic context of Rise. For example, if the situation allows it, something like “Neo loses connection while on a mission” or "Neo accidentally stumbles upon a stash of mystic potions and shenanigans ensue" would be allowed. If it's a rlly creative ask maybe I'll give it a chance for the sake of "the funnie and the sillie"

3. IF YOU ARE GLITZI you may have a pass for M!As but only if you run it thru me personally beforehand. But nothing too wild and please always think about stuff that would, again, fit in the context (plushies and alt timelines r fine with me cus i love them as long as u follow these rules :3).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Given these rules into consideration, I wish you a happy time asking away ur most ridiculous questions to my wet cat of a character :) have fun!!