#currently fingers are in pain

[th3archivisst]

thinking about good omens swap au,,,,,

with my personal headcanons implemented and keeping it as in character for both as possible

headcanons mentioned are: crowley as lucifer and the metatron was the decision maker about his fall

this is just a rough overview of the au, i'll try and write a fic about it soon but yeahh

GO2 SPOILERS AHEAD

How Azi became a demon

In the beginning, when Aziraphale introduces himself to Lucifer (i'll be calling Crowley that cuz he never gets his demon name in this au), Luci tells him his name too. So Aziraphale knows this is literally God's favorite angel and Oh Shit That's Important. So, when the Metatron finds out about Lucifer's questioning and decides to cast him out, Aziraphale steps up. He takes the blame on himself, says he was the one who talked to Lucifer about it and he was actually the one asking questions. Why he does this? Because he can't imagine how heaven would live on without one of its most important angels, so he's willing to sacrifice himself for that. The Metatron believes the lie and Aziraphale falls in Lucifer's stead, taking on the name of Zerael.

Garden of Eden meeting

After Zerael's fall, Lucifer tries to argue with the Metatron a bit. He gives up pretty quickly because he doesn't want Zerael's fall to go to waste, but he still gets demoted as a result. So he's now on apple tree duty. Meanwhile, Zerael gets appointed to be the original tempter, taking the form of a black swallow (cuz yk swallows are symbols of good luck but black isn't eh whatever you'll see). Lucifer gets the flaming sword as a sort of cruel joke from heaven, Gods former favorite now needs a sword for protection. He (of course) gives it to Eve, he doesn't actually need it and she definitely does. When the two meet on the wall, it's a bit awkward. Lucifer is immediately happy and greets Zerael by his angelic name, causing Zee to have a bit of a shut down. He tries to act all demonic and mean, but ends up asking how Lucifer is doing in heaven. Luci kind of skirts around the topic. "Oh, you know, the usual celestial harmonies and whatnot". Zee isn't an idiot, he asks why Luci's on apple tree duty if everything's fine. Luci tells him he's been demoted but it's nothing to worry about. "Really, it's more interesting now! I get to see more than just white walls all the time". Wing shelter thingy but Zee tries to do it first, getting burned by holy rain in the process because bird brain so Luci shelters him instead.

General stuff now that the backstory is over with

(I'll get into the flashback scenes in a different post, my fingers are starting to hurt lmao)

Zerael changes his name Zirael, which literally means 'swallow' (according to wikipedia)

Zee still opens a bookshop, he loves books and food just as much and explains it to the Dark Council as getting to know human pleasures to tempt them better

Luci still has the Bentley. Just this time it's white. He bought it black but heaven didn't like it so he miracled it white. It still plays Queen automatically because it's the only way Luci can show off his chaos.

Luci still has houseplants, but he treats them well. Why? Because he can't keep them up to heaven's standards, not after Zee fell to save him. Instead of torturing the plants, he treats them like how he thinks Zee should've been treated. Leaf spots are fine, imperfections are okay. The plants are the most beautiful in London, and also the happiest.

The Arrangement is still the same, only Zee proposed it because he's still in denial about falling and wants any excuse to do something good. Luci agrees, because he wants a chance to rebel without anyone noticing.

Nicknames!!! Zee calls Lucifer 'Luci' (Lucy) and ,of course, Angel, while Lucifer calls Zirael 'Zee' and 'birdbrain' when telling him he's an idiot.

Features! So I know we get the Angel!Crowley eyes in s2, but i like to think he still has to wear sunglasses cuz when the sun catches his eyes they turn molten gold :]

Zee's eyes go from blue to black, easy enough to pass off as very dark brown. His hair stays the same though, it just never turned darker. He says the sulfur bleached it. Is that true? Probably not.

Zee is very very jumpy, his eyes are always flicking around and he's barely ever relaxed. Luci on the other hand is mostly calm, except when something goes wrong. Then he uses every swear word known to mankind that doesn't involve blasphemy because he doesn't wanna get scolded by head office.

Dynamic

Zee is a lot more flirty than Aziraphale. His time as a demon has taught him some Things™️. He still very persistently believes in the system, though it's easier to pick apart his resolve when you point out that he fell because he thought the system was unfair to Lucifer. Luci is the opposite, not sure how to respond to the flirting and getting very tongue tied (ngk.). He is however very willing to finally cut ties with heaven, which means Paradox. Zee keeps trying to convince Luci to stay in heaven, Luci keeps trying to convince Zee to Go Off Together. Zee terrified of consequences, Luci bored out of his skull with heaven's monotony. The only reason he stays is because he remembers Zee's sacrifice. He knows that Zirael didn't want to fall. He did it so Lucifer wouldn't have to.

This makes the season two finale oh so interesting HEHEHEHHEHGEHGEGEH

Lucifer gets the proposition to return to his position as Supreme Archangel, for things to go back to how they were before he was demoted. He, naturally, tells the Metatron exactly where he could stick it. Zee gets mad about this because Lucifer could make heaven better! He could make the system better, prevent anyone from falling without reason ever again. Luci gets pissed because he's been complaining about heaven to Zee for thousands of years and now that just means nothing??? he should go back?????? because of a broken system? But he doesn't mention that the Metatron told him he could restore Zirael. When he finally yells it out at the end of their arguement, right before the kiss, Zee freezes and stares at him. Lucifer realized. Oh shit. This is the one thing he's wanted more than life on earth for all this time. And i'm refusing him it, although it's my fault he lost it in the first place.

Zee won't ask him to go to heaven if he so clearly doesn't want to, definitely not now. Luci kisses him as an attempt to apologize, it's gentle and Zee doesn't push back but he also doesn't respond. At all. He just turns away and starts organizing his books. Just as Lucifer is about to leave, tears in his eyes, Zee says, very quietly; "If you won't do your job, I'd better start doing mine."

The next day, Lucifer comes back with a whole apology script written. He doesn't find Zee there. Instead he finds a random guy from a bookshop that closed a couple months ago.

[hes-a-plant]

K yall im tired and in pain and also curious.

Pick one. Yes, just one, I know it’s hard.

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Ed injury headcanon time: Ed doesn't tend to complain about pains even when they're very bad, and he's so practiced at pushing through that he looks so functional that most people don't realise he's hurting.

He is however unable to deal with itching. Mosquito bites drive him mad, and healing injuries hitting the itchy stage make him grumpy and thinking he'd rather be in pain again because the itching is unbearable. He whines more about the itching than he ever does about any pain. Stede is very helpful and understanding, of course, and tries to distract Ed by doting on him as if he was still going through unimaginable agonies (he is, in Ed's opinion).

[a-very-fond-farewell]

it was tendOnitis all along???? travesty

[seraphim-soulmate]

hey tumblr. i got a fumngking oaperr cut :((( From my frozen meal I bought to feed myself (being brave while in depressive episode and feeding myself balanced meals)

[aropride]

also my pinky finger hurts and i think its from holding my phone all the time with the popsocket. humans werent meant to live like this man and yet here i am.living like this

[engagemythrusters]

Fabric softener is for the weak, the ones who can't handle life's little discomforts. You know who uses fabric softener? People who can't face reality. Real men and women don't need their clothes to smell like a field of daisies. We don't need our towels to feel like a baby's bottom. We face challenges head-on, unafraid of a little roughness.

Fabric softener is a scam, a marketing ploy designed to make you believe your life will be better if your clothes are softer. But guess what? Life isn't soft. Life is hard, it's tough, and it's unforgiving. If you can't handle the rough texture of your jeans, how are you going to handle this cutthroat world?

And let's talk about the environmental impact. Fabric softeners are loaded with chemicals that pollute our waterways, harm marine life, and contribute to the destruction of our planet. Is your soft towel worth destroying the environment? I don't think so.

Real success doesn't come from a bottle of fabric softener. It comes from hard work, determination, and a willingness to face challenges without needing everything to be soft and easy. So put down that fabric softener, embrace the rough edges of life, and start living like a real champion.

... I wasn't using fabric softener... The blankets come sold that way. I'm making tie-blankets for the humane society...

[iamtheshriekingguineapig]

Something I learned in the year of our Lord, 2024 is that apparently the normal amount of daily joint pain you're supposed to have in your mid to late 20's is actually zero.

[whilomm]

looking at information on ehlers danlos and the Problems™

internet: "its really easy for people with ehlers danlos to sublux/dislocate stuff, sometimes without even realizing it!"

me: "okay cool maybe thats whats happening to me. hey internet how do i tell if ive subluxed/dislocated something"

internet: "oh no, you would DEFINITELY know if you did, thats not just something that happens without people realizing it!"

me: "but you just sa-"

internet: "YOU WOULD KNOW!!!"

[snazzy-serpent]

Con O'Neill, Kristian Nairn & Nathan Foad are all gonna be at London MCM Comic Con and are doing a panel!???!!!!?!?!?!?!?

Istg every time that trio do a panel/interview/etc its always the most batshit insane thing

[ohnowithapencil]

Robin wip

I'm experimenting with my style, trying to get it to look more painting-like

[sassenach082]

are we going to find out why viper keeps telling tom that admiral Benjamin isn’t the only one with friends in high places? he’s mentioned it a few times now and curious about what he means by that.

Chapter 17 already explained some of it. Three now-Admirals (Jacks, who is a 2-star and the Airboss; O'Reilly, who is a 4-star and COMPACFLT; and Edwards, who is a 3-star) were saved by Duke Mitchell during the Vietnam war and have taken an indirect interest in his kid and what he does. They were lowly Lieutenants back then but you don't just forget a guy straight up dying to save your life no matter how Classified they mark the documents.

It's my way of rationalizing how Pete manages to stay in the Navy as long as he does before Ice is high ranking enough to protect him. If there are a bunch of Admirals telling everyone to calm down and get over it, Pete gets to keep on flying, and those men get to pay back a debt, at least the way they see it.

[konstantya]

Pulled my ribs (well, rib muscles, obvs) for the first time ever earlier today, and it looks like sleeping will be the hardest part of the recovery. 🫠

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Spent this last week tired and in pain and I want to draw about it, but unfortunately aforementioned condition of being tired and in pain makes drawing impossible, so I guess I just have to suffer instead. Why this.

[citrine-elephant]

so much on my mind about this shit job, but i just love (sarcastically) that if you're to be exercising, you MUST build up to it, 'less you cause injury. because you can and will if your body isn't ready. if you do 100 pushups first time.... you're a prodigy of exercise and you're probably gonna burn out if you're not suffering alreadt.

yet a desperate fucker who needs a job to survive? nah, 7 hours of exercise each day all week? yep, that's reasonable. totally (further sarcasm)

you never worked out before? too bad, get back to work. make us more money. fill my pockets and fund my sixty mansions. (eat the rich, comrades, they are nothing without our labour)

[singlethread]

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