#cunty found family is the best found family

[sinful-idiot]

The Straw Cunt Pirates

[laurorne]

༊*·˚ HE MADE A SLAVE OF ME | daemon targaryen x targtower!reader, minor aegon ii targaryen x twin wife!reader

summary: confined to the sullen walls of the red keep, there isn’t far you’re afforded to wander. entertained only by the people you silently watch, you find excitement in the visit of your older sister and uncle. though the latter is far more appealing to spend the night with, and more willing.

warnings: nsfw, minors dni, targaryen incest (uncle x niece), porn with minimal plot, p in v, rough sex, slapping, degradation, masochism, blood play?, praise kink, breath play/choking, breeding kink, a lil’ stomach bulge, cheating on both halves, swearing, inaccurate high valyian (i tried?), weird pure bloodline shit, fiending for that valyrian d, hightowerphobic daemon, bastardphobic reader

word count: 3.5k

a/n: daemon is so ugly but he’s so hot it’s so bad. okay, i can’t see daemon as a rough lover except maybe with a cunty targtower so this was the only way i could bring myself to write this 😭 (this was my inspo for this entire fic, bless tiktok editors 🙏🏼🙏🏼)

As a daughter of Alicent Hightower and Viserys Targaryen, you'd found that most people bent to your will regarding requests. The lords would bend over twice fold if it meant a chance at earning your hand, and the girls at court dared not step a foot before you in the case you'd remove them from your entourage of highborn ladies.

With eyes so doe-like and lips like honey, one would mistake you for just that, a doe, not the dragon draped beneath green silk that shifted like flames in a hearth.

That's how you'd created yourself. How you'd curated each step and each titter of laughter, every slow blink at every lord and all those tight lipped smiles at ladies of court who came too close to your family.

People at court had said that you were the best half of your twin brother, that he had taken all the bad traits so you could shine as the darling of the realm. Poor, sweet Aegon. Ever the scapegoat and always the perpetrator.

So as you sit across from your uncle, Daemon Targaryen, you find yourself rather... without.

He sits beside your half-sister. A beautiful glow on her skin as she laughs along with something your father had said. She's stunning, Valyrian in every sense of the word. With her pale hair and aquiline nose, you can see why she was adored.

Other than the Realm's utter Delight, dinner is less than… familial.

Everyone can clearly see the divide between both sides of House Targaryen. The Hightowers sat to the right of the King, the mix of Targaryen and brown-haired Velaryon to his left. You find no warmth in this arrangement, other than false pretenses of civility and feigned love for each other, the entire affair is only for show of the poor old King.

Though there is an affair that consumes your thoughts, a tryst that would no doubt end messily. So you opt to speak with your family, with a spare glance thrown his way just to divulge yourself after all these years of self-control.

-

Daemon understands the weight of your gaze on him. Even from across the table he can feel the way your eyes trace his features, the way you're devouring him without lifting your fork or grinding your teeth or even touching him. Your supposed indifference to the sides that the house of the dragons has taken makes his fingers twitch around his goblet. You're speaking with Baela and Rhaena as if you've sat beside them in court for years, doting on their new dresses and telling them snippets of what they've missed at the Red Keep.

Jacaerys' gaze is flittering over to your figure every couple of seconds, eyes dipping to your dangerously low neckline of your green dress, every time you laugh and your chest heaves he looks away like a wide-eyed virgin. Red at the ears as he scolds Lucerys for holding a fork wrong, Daemon guesses, with the way the older boy points to another utensil.

And your family, gods.

Your twin brother, Aegon, is attempting to drink away his sorrows but you're always quick to scoop the cup out of his grasp and palm it off to a servant. The fool simply allows you, resigning to watch everyone speak as you have him by the balls practically. And to still have him fawning over you, his pretty little twin-wife, is absurdity.

Aemond is glaring daggers at Rhaenyra's boys and Helaena is off in an entire world of her own.

When he looks back to you and finds those lilac-coloured iris' already poised on him, his jaw clenches and he takes another pass at his Dornish wine. The way your hair falls in pure white curls around your face and frames the heavy gorget necklace that adorns your neck, inlaid with moonstone and rubies that look eerily similar to the ones from the Conquerors crown. Spoiled Hightower brat.

Daemon is far from naïve. He's been apart of how many wars?

He's a seasoned veteran to these types of women, to their greedy plans and treacherous thoughts.

Though... that colouring that she has, so clearly a staple of House Targaryen, he's not so convinced that he's entirely immune. He's sure that his nephew is beyond stupid to not have made you a mother sooner. With tits like that and eyes so sweet? He'd have you swollen with babe two moons after your last birth.

He watches the way you lick a droplet of wine from the corner of your mouth, watches the way your eyes flicker from Jacaerys to him, and he can see it then. Something so wanton in your gaze.

Perhaps paying a visit to his dear, sweet niece tonight would not be such a bad thought.

You arch up into the touch —his touch— as shivers run along the length of your spine. His hand smooths over the swell of your breast in response, easing your ache as you squirm for more. It travels over the fat of it until his fingers pinch roughly at your nipple. A stuttering breath punches its way from your throat as he stares down at your face.

“So eager, aren’t we?” He admires the way your lips part, the way your eyes dance back into focus and meet his heated gaze. The way you seek out the eye contact. Want to know he’s watching the show you’re putting on.

Just as you’re forming the vowels on the tip of your tongue, he’s grabbing a fistful of your thigh and pushing his hips impossibly closer to yours. It makes you shudder, makes you want all the more. But there is no give to his press, he’s seated far too deeply inside you to move any further in. He’s pulling his hips back just the smallest fraction before he starts inching back in, heavy and hot and oh-so deep it burns.

Your tongue swipes over your lips, your hand moving to clutch onto the arm that props him up above you. The thickly corded muscle makes holding onto him all the easier, makes your cunt flutter and your chest heave and your eyes water. He’s so large, far different from your husband, this pure-blooded Valyrian —this man— he’s encompassing your body and stuffing you all at the same time, filling, holding and folding you how he wants.

You move to weave your fingers into the loose strands of his hair but the hand that was cradling your thigh is quick to grasp your wrist, tugging the appendage away as he begins dragging his hips back. “Where did all your words go, dōna riña?” (sweet girl)

You swallow thickly, fingers balling up as he oh-so slowly pulls out til’ just the tip rests in you. It’s agonising, having been so full not even moments ago, you feel empty. It’s involuntary, the way your hips lift towards him, cunt greedily taking him as you stifle the way your breath hitches. His thighs tense up as he groans, fingers tightening around your wrist as his hips rock forwards just the tiniest bit.

“Daemon, please.” It’s breathy, spoken from someplace in your chest that you feel with every inch of your body. “I want you.”

Your eyes only just catch the tic in his jaw as he drops your wrist, immediately grabbing a fistful of your tit and pushing back into you. Hips meeting flush as he glares down at you. The grip he’s got on your fit fucking hurts, but you’d be damned if it doesn’t set all your nerves on fire.

“Ilībio,” He all but snarls. (whore)

You don’t even register the next thrust before he’s pulling out again. He leans forward, large hand coming to press down onto your throat. His fingers curl around your neck —encompassing it entirely as he presses down onto you— using you for leverage as he fucks into you.

You moan, mouth falling open as he uses your body and paws at your tit messily. You can feel the flesh spill from between his fingers, feel the sensitive peak rubbing against his rough palm.

It’s driving you insane.

The hand leaves your tit, moving to the next and grabbing on just as roughly. He hits a particularly forceful thrust that has you jolting up the bed, back arching up as you whine. Your legs curl around his hips, thighs bouncing with each stroke, making a distinct slapping as he fucks you into the plush sheets of your bed. You roll your pelvis to the rhythm he sets, it’s practised, timed and purely filth.

“You belong in the,” He pauses as he sneers down at you, watching his cock sink deep into your tight little cunt. “Street of Silk.”

You can only sigh out a breath as his hand clamps down on your throat, your air coming in short bursts only when he pulls out to thrust back in.

“Your husband mustn’t have fucked you well enough.” He thrusts violently on husband, heavy cock bullying its way back into you as your cunt clenches.

His words are driving you closer to the edge, making you feel all the slicker as he fucks you, uses you like he’s your husband. Like you belong to him. Like you’re the sister he married in the ways of Old Valyria —in the ways of your house— in blood and fire.

The thick drag of his dick brings you back from your cock drunk haze, his words ringing in your brain as he watches your lashes flutter.

“Tight like a Lyseni virgin,” He buries himself into you until oxygen evades you entirely, all his weight resting on your throat as he leans in, licking a stripe up your throat and biting at your pulse point. “Wet like a pillow house whore.”

You writhe beneath him, fingers curling into the thickly corded forearm that presses you down into the bed, he teasingly slows to a stop only to rocks forwards. Watching your eyes turn hazy as your hips twitch up onto him. Jerkily grinding onto him as you struggle to take a breath.

“Struggling to breathe and you still want me to fill you, tala.” He smiles down at you, lifting a hand from your throat to caress the bone of your cheek. “So desperate for it.”

Oh, how badly you want to spit an insult at him. How badly you want to punch him and pull on his hair and suck marks into the muscled line of his shoulder.

He lifts the heel of his palm slightly, just when the edge of your vision was beginning to cloud. A quick respite of air before he’s pressing a bruising kiss to your pouty lips. Teeth digging into your bottom lip as he fully cups the side of your face. Tongue pressing into your mouth intrusively as he overwhelms you. Full of cock, his tongue, and being pinned to the bed by the entire weight of him.

The red hot coil in your stomach is cooling quickly, fading away into nothing as he devours you in the most deliciously possessive kiss you’ve ever had. His thumb presses roughly into the bone of your cheek as he thrusts gently into you. There’s a bloom of pain in your lip as he begins pulling away, teeth biting your bottom lip as he lifts himself back up. Blood smears your pearly white teeth, and you can taste it on your tongue.

Your chest heaves as you grab a fistful of his hair, pulling his face back down so you can kiss him roughly. You practically consume him with this kiss, wanting and needy as you fight to gain control. He pants out a chuckle, thumb pulling on your chin as he licks over the cut and your teeth. Your fingers tangle in his white strands and you give a sharp tug, the rasp that escapes him sends a needy throb through your cunt. But you take his unfocus as a chance to lick into his mouth, cunt throbbing as his lower half folds you over, sinking into you so deeply it makes your hips twitch and writhe in pain.

You fight against the pain, neck aching as you crane up against his weight, biting his lip harshly until you feel the break of his skin between your teeth. Blood mixing in your mouths as he pants into your mouth, thumb hooking into the corner of your mouth as he looks down at you with something akin to satisfaction.

“Smile, tala.” (niece)

You breath in shallowly, greedily taking in air that you neglected yourself of.

“Uh-uh,” He squeezes your cheeks together, until your lips pout and he presses down onto your jaw hard. “Smile.”

And you do, lips pulling up as best they can with his fingers holding your jaws apart. He lets his fingers loosen so he can watch your teeth peak out from beneath your abused and bloody lips. You can guess that you both look the same, blood staining your teeth a burning carmine. The colour of House Targaryen.

“Good girl.” His voice is condescending as he pats your cheek roughly, pushing himself back up, and sitting back on his knees as he stares down at you through wispy strands of platinum hair. Dick sitting heavy inside you, fill to the point of it being a bit hard to breathe. Your sheets reeks of sweat and sex, and the iron tang of blood sits in the air and on your tongues.

His hands smooth over your thighs, thumb running along a pink scar nestled closely to your knee.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, tits on full display while you look up at him through those pretty lashes, admiring the scars that mar the pale skin of his torso and the blood the runs a rivulet down his chin. “What are yo-“

He unwraps your legs from his waist, grabbing at the back of your thighs and pushing them towards you. You whine at the sudden movement, the blunt tip of him nudging against what the deepest parts of you. Pressing you in half with ease until he can hold your legs against his chest with one arm. The other coming to rest against the soft spot of your stomach as he hovers over you.

“Fucking an heir into you,” He presses a quick kiss to your calf before he’s snapping his hip forward and pressing down on your stomach. And that’s when you feel him. You let out a breathy moan as he fucks you, with your back arched toward him as you let him take you.

Like a virgin during her bedding ceremony.

His fingers leave pale prints in your skin as he grips onto the meat of your thighs so tightly. His thighs slapping against the backs of your legs while he fucks his length into you. With his arm wound tightly around your knees, there’s no way you can move or adjust or even move with him, you’re practically in his lap as he uses your hipbone for leverage.

Choked-out pants and whiny breaths are the only noise you can make as the hand that was holding your legs together drifts to your soaked pussy. Thumb slipping through until he bumps into your clit —he can tell by the way your tits heave and your cunt clenches impossibly tighter— and he can’t help but snicker as he presses down onto the poor thing. Hands used for more than just sword fighting, skilled in pleasing wives long gone that were no doubtingly three times older than you, are so deliciously textured.

“Hightower votrītsos nȳmagon wal morghūljagon.” Your maternal house is spat with hatred, he punctuates it with thrusts that grow more violent as he claims you. (hightower cunt calls men to die.)

“Iksā kempa isse nyke, issi ao daor, kepa?” You heave the sentence, attempting to speak without falter as he continues his selfish pleasure seeking manhandling. (you are heavy in me, are you not uncle?)

He grunts, nose scrunching up for a moment as a strand of hair dangles between his eyes. Silver locks messy. His thumb flicks over your clit again —a full-bodies shudder follows— so he can stare intently at your bouncing tits without the chatter.

“Aōha Valyrio Eglie jorrāelagon mirre.” (your High Valyrian needs work)

You admire the way his hair falls to his shoulders, undone from its hairstyle tonight at dinner, the slope of his shoulders to the plains of his front. A battlefield of cut muscle and scars that create ridges and valleys. Your eyes dart up as his nails cut into the skin of your calf, his lip curls up as his eyes finally drift from the harsh jerk of your pliable body beneath him, to your lilac eyes.

His eyes are dark, ringed by what little purple you can see in the darkness of your lonely chambers. The way he looks down at you, the look of curiosity, of lust, of hatred, it burns in your throat and makes your thighs quiver as he just stares.

You could nearly compare it to the way Aegon admires his cups, the way he drinks in every hitch of your breath, the way he huffs your scent, the stutter in his hips at every flutter of your cunt around him.

(Akin to Aegon’s lust for Dornish import wine, he drinks you in and savours the way your body begs for the extra inch.)

Your fingers tangle up in the silken sheets of your bed as you stutter, stomach quivering as he keeps his hips in motion, brining you oh-so close to your peak. Though it’s barely enough, used to the drunken fumble of your twin, you need a rougher edge, a little more pain. He’d just need a push.

“Iksā iā buzdari naejot kasta orvorta. Hae se dārys.” (you are a slave to green cunt. like the king)

He hums, brows pinching together as his thrusts grow sloppy and unpractised, like the green boy your husband had been on your wedding day.

“Kostilus ziry ūndan mirros hae bisa,” He circles your clit roughly, pad of his thumb rubbing deliciously against your slick cunt. “gōvilagon aōha muña grēza.” (perhaps he saw something like this, beneath your mothers dress.)

You let out a strangled moan, hips rocking up to meet his every thrust. The coil in your stomach is tightening and heating and making your thighs twitch and tense, and he doesn’t seem to take the movement kindly. The rhythm stutters when he forces one of your legs to his side as he surges forward to capture your mouth in a crushing kiss. Your other leg is caught over his shoulder as he moves in and it stretches muscles you hadn’t know existed in your legs as he bullies his way deeper and deeper, like he owns you, like your his to ruin.

“I would have loved taking your maidenhead.” He breaths the word into your mouth as the cuts on your lips open anew, smearing blood across your mouths, cheeks and noses. The kiss he pulls you into next is careless and messy, all knocking teeth and hot breathes.

“I- I’m,” He cuts you off by wrapping his hand back around your throat, pinning you down as his nose buries itself in the hair on the side of your head.

A blinding heat curls in your stomach and your cunt flutters around the abusive cock he fucks you with. The one leg that wasn’t pinned between you both is quick to pull his hips flush to you as you moan wantonly, though it’s smothered by his hand. Chest heaving and pale baby hairs sticking to your forehead as your lashes flutter closed. Taking the last few cants of Daemon’s hips as he finishes inside you, spilling deep inside you with heavy panting accompanied by a groan.

Everything is all warm, floating in your soft bed as the heavy man above you lets his weight onto you fully. Cock keeping you stuffed with his seed.

The hand on your throat drifts to your hair —you gulp down air as you feel an ache begin to form— deft fingers stroking at the loose strands behind your ear as he breathes in the perfume oil of the Dragons Breath flowers you'd chosen for tonight.

“I may take you to wife, with a cunt like that.” He murmurs, fingers tightening around those stray strands of hair as he lifts his face to meet yours. Pupils blown wide as he rolls his hips to nestle nicely between yours. That leg wedged between you both falling loose, and landing on the bed softly.

Oh?

That sentence shouldn't have made you so giddy, nor should it make a delighted grin pull across your bruised lips.

A plan well curated is always fruitful.

TAGS: @avalyaaa

[alltimefail]

My fellow MCR fans and elder emos alike... have you checked out Dead Boy Detectives yet?

Yes, that is Welcome to the Black Parade in the trailer, and yes, the vibes are as immaculate, fun, whimsical, and campy as the trailer implies.

Best of all, Dead Boy Detectives is beautifully diverse and oh so QUEER! It’s full of supernatural hijinks, monsters, drama, magic, romance, action, found family, stunning visuals, cunty villains (a sexy mischievous king of cats who can literally shapeshift into one, a pipe-smoking witch who feeds little girls to a giant snake to stay young, just to name a few…), hilarious quips, stories about overcoming trauma, and emotionally provocative character arcs that will touch your heart. I promise you guys will LOVE this show and should check it out! 💜

[martianbugsbunny]

Maybe Disney needs to try taking on a fairytale they haven't done yet. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy more original stories like Raya and the Last Dragon and Encanto that as far as I'm aware don't originate from any particular legend (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong tho). Those are fun. Exploring different magical concepts like dragons and the miracle is awesome.

But that being said, I think Disney needs to go back to its roots and do a fairytale. Something with a princess and a big bad that comes from an existing legend. That's (generally) where Disney excels. That's why people love Disney. Little Mermaid? Classic. Beauty and the Beast? Classic. Princess and the Frog? Classic. Cinderella? Classic. Snow White? Classic. Really, I just think Disney does what Disney does best when they're taking a story that already exists and turning it into a beautiful piece of animation with a gentle, kind soul at the center of it, maybe with a different little spin like setting the Frog Prince story in 1920s New Orleans or having Beauty's father be an inventor. Little touches like that to make the story uniquely Disney, but with a solid basis in a folk narrative that touches something deep and instinctual inside most people.

Give me a girl who's cursed. A girl who either falls prey to evil or makes a deal with it, and whose sweetheart fights for her like Aurora or who does the brave thing and sacrifices to fix it like Ariel.

Give me a girl who's trapped. A girl whose family keeps her down or who just hasn't found where she fits yet, who stays kind despite her troubles like Cinderella or who finds her own alternative way out like Belle.

Heck, even a weird-ass thing like Shakespeare But Lions would be welcome. That's such a Disney thing to do, taking a story like Hamlet and filling it with whimsy and giving it a happy ending. Plus, Simba is one of the strongest protagonists and learns one of the best lessons in all of Disney fight me.

(I'm not going to count Frozen in the folk story group because the departure from the original was so wild I don't think it deserves to count. I love Elsa with my entire soul but I would also die to see Disney do a proper version of the Snow Queen fairytale.)

Look, my point is that I'd like to see something that really makes Disney dig a little deeper and recapture the spark of its classics. Because as much as I enjoy stuff like Tangled and Frozen and Moana (I've watched all of them loads of times and I cry about them consistently) they don't come to mind as Disney classics for me. Maybe that's just me. Maybe it simply hasn't been enough time. Maybe it's the difference in the animation. Speaking of that, however, I would actually love to see a Disney movie done in a 2D style again; I don't think 3D has any inherent superiority and I'd love to see what Disney could do with a 2D movie now. And there are so many folk stories in the world, surely there must be one that Disney can bring to life the way it used to. They haven't retold every story that's been told already.

Am I being a little picky? Probably. But I'd love to see something that reminds me of the Disney classics where a gentle person with a courageous core has their life touched by magic, faces an obstacle, and has a happy ending. Something that's not a variation on "X needs to be saved" but a specific character longing for a specific thing and either doing what they think is necessary to get it (like Tiana and Ariel) or giving it up for the sake of someone else, but getting a happy ending nonetheless (like Belle and Simba). Also a clear-cut badguy who gets to be absolutely cunty and evil about it with no peculiar twist.

I'd like to see something Classic Disney again.

[another-delta-lover]

Yooo just saw that post about your tf2 OCs can you show them👉👈(I’m interested)

I KNOW THIS ASK IS OLD ASF BUT I PROCASTINATED TOO MUCH I'M SOSO SORRY--

Anyway- here they are!!!! I only have two :3

Erica! :3 -

She's RED!soldier's adoptive daughter!! she found her in the battlefield, lost 😔😔😔 Her family abandoned her for [reason I haven't thought of yet XD].

She's LATINA!!!!!! FROM MY COUNTRY BC I'M AN EGOCENTRIC PIECE OF SHIT. (Chilean)

After she was adopted by soldier, she trained her to be the 2nd best soldier ever!!! She wears soldier's original (OLD) clothing :) .

She's now 20 and fighting along with her mom (mtf soldier) against the BLU:3.

She doesn't like her stepmom (Zhanna) and has beef with her and RED!Heavy bc of that :( .

Her father figure is RED!Engineer :)

She doesn't like the RED!Scout bc he tries to flirt w/ her and she's a LESBIAN!!!! (After scout comes out as trans [mtf] she doesn't like her edither bc she annoying XDD).

RED!Demoman is like a cool uncle to her:) and... she knows what he has done with BLU!Soldier >:( doesn't approve it.

RED!Medic freaks the shi out of her XDD He appeared in a nightmare of hers bc he creepy asf.

She doesn't mind RED!Sniper or RED!Pyro, they hang out sometimes.

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Matthew Brown🏳️‍🌈 -

He's everyone's lawyer (literally. All the merc's (both red n blu), blutarch's, redmond's, administrator's, and even miss pauling's lawyer XDD TF2 LOGIC STFU.)

He's rich

He's HALF BRITISH AND HALF FRENCH. (I punished him twice)

He was RED!Spy's best childhood friend, they met when they were 14-16

He had a crush on Jacques when they were young... Sadly, that crush hasn't stopped 😔😔But he in denial.

He's rich asf

He had beef with Scout's ma bc SHE STOLE HIS MAN!!!!!!! But years after hain beef w her, he helped her raising the children SPY DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF!!!!!!

He's rich

He's RED!Scout and BLU!Scout's father figure 🤙🤙🤙 (I headcanon em as twins) After they both came out as trans, he gave em all the support they needed 🤙🤙🫶🫶

Did I mention that HE'S RICH ASF.

He wears all brown clothing. A brown EXPENSIVE suit, brown EXPENSIVE pants, a light brown EXPENSIVE shirt, Golden EXPENSIVE jewelry (Earrings, rings, a watch).

He's hated by both Erica and RED!Soldier for being FRENCH!!! AND BRITISH!!!!

He hangs out with Red!Demoman and BLU!Engineer often :)

He's cunty as RED!Medic, They always flirt with eachother (jokin, ofc). He gives him all the money he needs for his weird ass experiments.

He thinks Sniper is stinky. both of em. Specially The BLU!Sniper bc he's dating BLU!Scout.

He doesn't like RED!Pyro much tehy're dating RED!Scout.

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AND THAT'S ALL!!1 My ask box is open if u want to ask em stuff (u u ) I REALLY, REALLY WOULDN'T MIND!!!

[thecheekyblog]

The Addams women

I have been re-watching Wednesday and all the Addams family movie and i was mesmerized by what these women represent.

Like lets think about Morticia Addam! She represents so much grace, raw Devine energy, cuntiness, elegance and dark feminine vibe as well. A Morticia Addams only except la crème de la crème when it comes to her. She doesn’t play about herself. She knows who she is and knows there is no competition when it comes to her.

She always shows up for herself and not ever we can catch not looking her best.

Her aura when she enters a room can be felt every where. Shit is strong! Her charisma is her Haki (iykyk)

What is her characteristic : the most charismatic woman ever

Her sign : fire sign, big Leo vibes

Her favorite colour : red and gold

Her qualities : passionate, unbothered just a queen that act like it!

Her flaw : egoistic but aren’t we all to some extent!

Now, let’s talk about our fav, the ICONIC WEDNESDAY ADDAMS! The original fuck around and found out. I have always been amazed by her confidence. How she doesn’t need any kind of validation to stand tall on her own.

She never needed no one to tell her that she was the shit, she just knew, she doesn’t wait on people to get shit done or do something. Everything is on her own terms.

A Wednesday Addams is fearling, a go getter, never wasting her time and always prepare for every and any situation. She has her own unique style and is not affraid to stand out. A visionary, a passionate visonary that is what she is. A trendsetter.

What is her characteristic :she stands on business!

Her sign : honestly most water sign

Her favorite colour: black and silver

Her qualities: ingenious and confident even nonchalant at time but we love it!’

Her flaw: hates EVERYBODY ( but lowkey is soft princessita)

OVERALL

I truly believe we all have a bit of Morticia and Wednesday in us and there are things we might want to have more like them.

Let’s learn from those icons and be more assertive and powerful women with our feminine energy.

[vergllas]

hey, isn’t that ANGELENE CONTI GIBSON, who looks a little like ELIZABETH DEBICKI? i hear SHE is a THIRTY-EIGHT year old WOMAN who works as an OWNER OF ELEVATE FITNESS who has been in town for TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS. they ARE a member of one of aspen creek’s founding families. you can usually find them at MAPLE GROOVE or LA BELLA VITTA. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of A SLENDER NECK ADORNED WITH PALE PEARLS, ICY BLONDE WISPS OF HAIR PERFECTLY PULLED IN A BUN, THE FAINT SCENT OF WHITE OLEANDERS. just keep an eye on them & see if their true colors shine through!

𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 : angelene conti, now gibson. 𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑺 / 𝑵𝑰𝑪𝑲𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 : none, you are to addressed by her full name, or don't even bother. 𝑨𝑮𝑬 : 38 𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯 : 3rd of august 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 + 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑺: cis woman, she/her 𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑳 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑬 : married 𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 : maple groove, aspen creek 𝑶𝑪𝑪𝑼𝑷𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵: trophy wife, housewife, owner of elevate fitness , co-owner of gibson & co boutique, cunty mom 𝑬𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 : bachelor's degree in anthropology 𝑺𝑷𝑶𝑲𝑬𝑵 𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑼𝑨𝑮𝑬𝑺 : italian and english

brief spark notes.

originally born and raised in washington, d.c. moved to aspen creek with her parents around the time she was 10. her parents always pushed her to be the best, but for the first couple of years, she felt like such a foreign body in north carolina, despite also coming from a wealthy family.

as much as she tried to sell a certain image, getting pregnant as a teenager ( the age may be subject to change if necessary ) really threw her off-kilter, and forced angelene to rebrand the picture she was trying to sell.

was always the type of mother who had everything under control. her clothes were never dirty, but always prim and proper and ironed to perfection, her make-up was always done and no strand of hair was ever allowed to go astray. she was a woman carved from marble, a paragon of discipline, cold and untouchable. she never baked nor did any chores, but still made sure that her house always smelled clean.

despite having a child so young, she earned a degree in anthropology and finished her education, though she never really used it for anything other than decoration.

known for many things, such as being a little blonde cunty mom, who always has her nose high up in the air. does pilates regularly, has a personal trainer, runs marathons, plays tennis, dines out and buys too many shoes at once. if you dare to cut, she's the type to bleed blue ( in a place like aspen ).

with that being said, she does very much love her daughter and attempts to show that love in any way that she can. you know, she may be a bitch to others, but she still cares for her baby too much.

truly the queen of aspeen creek's trophy wives and housewives. she even owns a business on the side that loses like 10 k per year. just kidding.

[heatwa-ves]

Wait what is jojos actually about?? Or is there no plot just a bunch of muscular gayboys running around for 1 million seasons?? I have a friend who loves jojos and they keep talking about tarot cards. Also I think they mentioned vampires at one point??

you have opened pandoras box here I'll TRY not to yap endlessly but no promises. jjba follows the joestar family the protagonist of each part are all related and all have a name beginning with jo (or gio. if you're italian) hence jojo. and the first few parts while having some things carry over from previous parts could probably be watched as standalone (tho you HAVE to have seen 1 and 3 in order to watch 6) so. quick summary of each of the parts I've seen (7 out of the 9) (part 9 is ongoing)

part 1 phantom blood (1880s or thereabouts): blonde british bisexual man (dio) is such a bitch ass hater he kills his adopted father becomes a vampire and tries very hard to kill his adopted brother jonathan joestar.

part 2 battle tendency (1920s): jonathan joestars grandson joseph is a beautiful brunette bisexual and he has to kill these four extremely cunty evil guys with the help of another beautiful blonde bisexual who he has a gay little thing going on with

part 3 stardust crusaders (1980s) : stands exist now and it's all dios fault. 100+ years later and he just won't die he's too much of a hater. josephs grandson jotaro goes on a roadtrip from japan all across asia to egypt kicking tarot card themed ass on the way while travelling with the most boring character ever, his xenophobic bisexual grandad, a frenchman with enormous tits and questionable hair, my wife, and a bitch ass dog in order to kill the immortal british blonde bisexual vampire who's ruining everyones life. I don't really like this part or rather I get annoyed thinking about it because it could be good and it isn't but my friend loves it so I guess it's a matter of taste.

part 4 diamond is unbreakable (1999) : prior to the roadtrip joseph (aged sixty something) cheated on his wife with the coolest woman alive and her son is called josuke he's the sweetest boy alive he's my baby brother and I would die for him. there are slice of life hijinks in a weird little japanese town for half this part and a really really good narrative about a kinky serial killer for the second half. joseph adopts an invisible baby he found on the side of the road

part 5 golden wind/vento aureo if you wanna be italian about it (2001) : (my favourite) dios son moved to italy changed his name to giorno giovanna and joined the italian mafia along with the only fictional character I have ever felt genuine desire towards and some other characters I adore. they kick a lot of ass and giorno age 15 becomes the boss of the mafia. it's good I swear

part 6 stone ocean (2011) : (prob my 3rd fav) jotaros daughter jolyne is arrested for a murder she's framed for. she has lesbian hijinks in jail and a priest with an unhealthy obsession with dio the blonde bisexual british vampire (he won't leave us alone) tries his best to kill her because her dad (who she kinda hates and has had nothing to do with in years) killed dio 20 years ago. they escape jail and said priest resets the entire universe. jolyne is one of my favourite characters EVER

part 7 steel ball run (1890) : (my other favourite) johnny joestar an ex jockey meets a random italian man and joins a pan continent horse race from san diego to new york in hopes of regaining his ability to walk. on the way he encounters dios reincarnation (still blonde bisexual and british but a dinosaur now. occasionally) and the corpse of Jesus Christ and kills the president.

[roszabell]

Hetalia on America's Next Top Model

my headcanons w the characters i immediately thought of for how they would do on the show, this is wildly useless and niche but i'm a geek for it ( i got two people saying i should post this again and ily, lmk if i should do a part 2 / please suggest characters 👀 )

Elizabeta, top challenge winner, they probably do her so dirty in her makeover and turn her blonde, that one girl that has a partner back home and is ACTUALLY LOYAL, never starts fights with gilbert but always finishes them, kind of the unofficial house leader, tyra always highlights her muscles, really versatile for shoots, probably calls at least three photographers misogynistic, falls on the runway bc of heels but the quick recovery saves her that round

Mathieu is the like adorable 17 year old amateur that tyra found on the street, has the shittiest runway walk ever, big and awkward with his body (but tyra is obsessed with his ass and natural booty tooching lol), jock-type photos, wins best photo 2-3 times but is always in the bottom of challenges, panel constantly tells him that he needs to believe in himself more, "i just really don’t want to let tyra down TwT"

Francis is also often the challenge winner bc he’s literally down with doing anything (wink), basically adopts mathieu loves braiding his hair during downtime/behind the scenes and always chooses him for the tyra suite whenever he wins best photo, panel criticizes him for always falling back on being ‘too sexy’ in shoots and he’s not very versatile, gets in trouble for flirting with photographers, is the mom of the house and always cooks for everyone, invested in all the drama

Arthur, hes adored, the panel won’t shut up about his "high-fashion look," he scrapes by every week just by his social media scores bc of his devoted fan following, given a lip piercing n undercut for his makeover, (and the eyebrows STAY bc it’s High Fashion), constantly has beef with brianboy bc he’s a stubborn asshole during shoots , definitely makes it to Top 3 despite such high elimination risk bc of the attitude

Gilbert, the token Unique model due to his albinism, thinks he’s the shit but tbh hes always in bottom two, starts most of the drama in the house, has an insanely  badass runway walk its seriously so cunty, is probably given a complete buzz cut for his makeover and won’t shut up about it (but secretly is really insecure),  sharp features and best smize ever, but rob evans always says he relies too much on his muscles n sucks at Head to Toe modeling

Katya is BEST GIRL in the house, the token Curvy one they always praise for representation but is probably cut in like round three because of the actual fatphobia, everyone cries so hard when she leaves, has a really classic vibe, is seen as innocent but takes really fierce photos, really close to her family at home (leans on sob stories), shes the one that returns and gets back in the game when theres a Comeback episode

Michelle brings all the fun, high spirits lighten the tension for shoots and takes really bubbly energetic photos, amazing pout and expressive eyes, smoothest runway walk like she’s floating, everyone’s friend in the house but is secretly so fucking cutthroat competitive in her asides, cutesy aesthetic despite her age, is constantly criticized because she can’t pull off serious shoots, probs makes it to Top 3

[milfcoded]

tagged by @lottienat to post 8 shows to get to know me better and oh the can of worms you have opened <3

tagging @l-adysansa @hauntedbythenarrative @shouldvemarried @emoclownemoji @miraclottie if you want to 🪿

in no particular order:

• the day of the triffids (2009) - sometimes a two part bbc mini series from the early 00’s can be sooooo personal, this did change my life at a very young age and unfortunately now i must watch it religiously until the end of time because it is just that good and also bad <3

• gotham - funky little gay people doing their funky little crimes whilst jimothy gordon worlds most normal man sighs deeply in the background? sign me up baby, not a show about batman but a show about shenanigans and really what more can you ask for

• lost - oh she reworked my brain at a VERY formative age!!! made perfect sense actually if you don’t understand the ending or the polar bear in the jungle or whatever the fuck john locke had going on then that’s on you!!

• new girl - i have for many years and will continue to watch the entire show (except the last season) on repeat until my brain is just about melted enough to get back to real life, i could listen to max greenfield mispronounce words all day

• the newsroom - i don’t know a single thing about american news or politics from 2012 so i don’t really know what side these fuckers are on at any given moment but despite that this is the best and funniest show ever made actually, i will have no further questions (aaron sorkin is my biological father)

• criminal minds - little bit of murder, little bit of found family, little bit of sexy women, little bit of government propaganda, little bit more of women being sexy, full package i have seen season 1 at least 57 times for miss elle greenaway alone

• will and grace - i don’t even need to say anything to justify this because it’s gay and it’s fun and it’s cunty and rip leslie jordan

• charmed - oh back in the day me and my friends wanted to be these bitches so fucking bad we would have committed real murder to gain magical powers at the age of 8 and that’s so real of us honestly

[m1ckeyb3rry]

First of all NEW PFP ALERT!!!!

SHSHSH I saw that one user’s (I-am-so-strange) ask and your response and omg my five seconds of fame /j but I’m happy to be of service o7 honestly a win-win I get to contribute a bit to the community and it gives me a chance to brush up on reading too LMAO glad that people can enjoy the translations!! I found it kinda weird that like no one’s posted any translations for this volume?? Even like the usual people so I’m filling their shoes for now LOL

In the process of writing up Barou’s now!! Also do you prefer I send it in bit by bit or do you wanna wait for me to finish all the chapters before sending them?

HAHAHA Mira touches grass guys gotta respect that (fr take your time responding though LOL) it’s ok I’m covering your touching grass moments with chronically online speed but LMFAOO BAROU EVIL IN A CUNTY WAY so true

I’ve never thought of using LinkedIn that’s so smart….

Karasu’s are never escaping the bird fate it’s quite literally just in their family lineage…I definitely had a flower symbolism phase at some point it’s so interesting!!

LMAOOO no stupid baby childhood Karasu>>>> me personally I love seeing all aspects of a character you could literally write him babbling as an infant and I’d be like omg new lore drop

Ooooh you’re right….Idk about any of the like pay logistics but that makes sense!! I can’t imagine them having Reo narrate everything especially since a good portion of the confrontation is between Shidou and Kunigami so!!

LMFAOOOOO I think either way we can agree elderly Otoya is getting some Weirdass hair LMAO that would actually be so funny like imagine the strip is green tinted like a grass stain or a light gray ish and the rest of his hair is still like white that would actually be hilarious

Ok well good to know nothing special was going on LMAO either way it doesn’t really affect me at all I just thought it was weird oops

SHSHSH YOURE TOO KIND but you as well!!! <3 Big brain Mira on the grind providing Karasu (and Otoya and bllk generally) nation with literary masterpieces>>>

-Karasu anon

YESS you are an icon 🤩 but yeah i’ve noticed there hasn’t been much in the way of translations/people posting anything abt the lns besides the images…maybe because they’re all most unpopular characters?? besides barou ig but even then he’s not a ton of people’s fav

whatever is easier for you works for me!! idm either way 😄

HAHHA i’ve been touching grass too much i haven’t been writing either…i will get back on the karasu grind soon though trust

yesss i just like layering in different levels of symbolism so the more you look into it the more hints are dropped abt what’s going to happen!! and omg linkedin is so useful lowkey i love using it to stalk people

BABY KARASU IS SO CUTE he’s not quite a babbling infant but he’s a dumbass toddler so close enough LMAOAOA it truly is a lore drop though heheh we love all forms of karasu here

idk if that’s actually what it is but being abt pay would make sense to me!! and i think the only way a reo narration would make sense would be if it’s like him talking over a montage?? idk why they’d do that though but maybe that’ll be their workaround if they don’t have kunigami’s actor there at all. they definitely are going to mention it because we saw him at the end of s1 so ig we’ll see!!

ELDERY OTOYA IS GOING TO BE GOOFY NO MATTER WHAT his undercut hair is green too so he’s going to look like crest scope toothpaste or smth once he’s old

HAHA i do my best 🙏🏻 haven’t been on the grind the last couple of days like i said but never fear i have not abandoned karasu/otoya/bllk nation i will be back 🤩👆🏻

[animentality]

I'm biased to DS9 because it's always been my favorite and it was also my first star trek ever, but here is MY theory on why it's so popular on Tumblr:

- FOUND FAMILY. like come on. this is the true answer. it's a found family of gay war criminals, terrorists, charlatans, and mad scientists. what else do you want or need? It's basically a DND campaign too.

- the BEST side characters, which makes the world feel so full and alive and lived in and real.

- far more cunty interpersonal dramas than tng or tos, BUT with far more consistency and good writing than voy or ent.

- dark morality and cynicism and realistic portrayals of war...that speak more to the younger audiences than the perfect utopia of tng or tos, while again, having more consistent good writing than voy or God forbid, ent. And despite all that...still hopeful. Still optimistic, at its heart.

- it is gay.

I'm kinda surprised by how many people on tumblr are apparently watching DS9 right now/have recently watched it, or at least are still active in the fandom.

My friends and family were always Trek fans, so I saw an episode here and there out of every old series, but I only finally got around to starting DS9 from the beginning after I finished my third rewatch of Voyager, which was the one I grew up with and the only one I'd seen all the way through until Picard - and the only reason I rewatched Voyager again was because of Seven coming back. (I didn't know DS9 would be so relevant to the Changeling plot in Picard).

So just because I'm curious, why is the DS9 fandom still active enough to have a Kira screenshot I post explode with a thousand+ notes, or the many excited comments of "Yes! We got another one!" when I posted about Garak/Bashir? Did Picard bring other people to DS9, or was there some other reason I missed?

[prorevenge]

Cruel Teacher Gets Yelled At By My Parents, Never Messes With Me Again

So, this happened back in my sophomore year of high school. Our school district is weird so we ended up having a separate freshman school then attending the “senior high school” for sophomore, junior, and senior year. That being said, it was basically my first year of high school all over again and I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect.

Queue Mrs. C (Cunt), an older Hispanic woman with the voice of fucking nightmares. I will NEVER forget how she sounded, ever. Very scratchy and ear-splitting high pitched voice that I hated. From the beginning of the year this woman had it out for not only me, but every single other student in our class. I didn’t mention that she was an art teacher. Hence, she thinks she’s important but she’s at the bottom of the food chain. Fourth period was when I came to her room, right before lunch, and she decided that she would make our lives infinitely harder by punishing us to not going to lunch for talking, slacking off, etc. Her threats were often empty, but pissed me off nonetheless.

The table I sat with had a group of people I became pretty close to in that class, and thus we were the loudest but we still finished our work. To sum up the things she said and did, most of the time she would call us out in class and say something like, “Get back to work or you’re staying for lunch,” or something generally like that. Then she would proceed to march up to us and get two inches from our faces, not even joking, and demand to know why we weren’t working.

Even if we were finished with our assignments and projects, she FORCED us to color pages or simply draw in our sketch book. She was one of those teachers that hated phones and would try to rip it out of your hands if she caught you looking at it for longer than 10 seconds. I wish I was kidding.

Mrs. C was the rudest, most disrespectful teacher I have ever known. She insisted that we be kind and sweet to her when she was the exact opposite to us. I know that there were many people who didn’t do their work, but when we had to make literal PowerPoint presentations and essays over every single project, I can understand why! Being one of the only white people in that class, she would always mutter things about me in Spanish so I couldn’t understand. It pissed me off. (My friends would translate). The hate grew as she continuously yelled in my face over the year, grabbed my earphones and yanked them painfully out of my ear, shamed me in front of my entire class for not knowing the answer to a question, repeatedly told me that she didn’t want me in the class, and even went so far as to STAND on our table (we had connected group tables) and rant about how she hated all of us and how she was, “tired with our shit.”

Then came the final blow.

The year before, my dad had suffered over twelve heart attacks and had nearly died. I was very upset after the incident, so my therapist passed a letter on to all of my teachers to notify them of the situation. Mrs. C was, surprisingly, nice. She didn’t yell at me and seemed to even...like me? It was very odd, to say the least, but once I got “better” and started acting more like myself then she went back to hating me.

Then came the week before everything. My mom suffers from borderline personality order and her family has a history of substance abuse. I was unaware that she was tripping on acid while me and my brother were at her house (my parents broke up before I was born, my five year old brother at the time is technically my half brother, different dad, but that’s a story for another day).

Anyway, while we were over I noticed how she became more and more manic and retreated to my room. She ended up falling on the kitchen floor and I had to clean up the blood from her head wound; my hands were drenched in it. I threw up, and she paid no mind. I cried myself to sleep and went to my dad’s the next day.

I told my therapist of the situation and she called my mom to ask if she was okay. The following weekend my mom called back and said she was scared of doing something bad. For the first time, my therapist went to a client’s house (aka my mom’s) with my mom’s dad and found her. She was high on mushrooms that our family friend had supplied and tried to kill herself. She was taken to a mental hospital and my family was told everything. My dad was heartbroken for her. I was heartbroken, too, to know the truth.

But this isn’t my sob story. This information is important because the Wednesday after this all happened (my mom had been taken to the hospital on a Friday) Mrs. C decided to be as cunty as she possibly could. I was already failing English due to my mental and emotional state plummeting, so was working on a paper in her class. I was literally reading a fucking book.

She marched over when I didn’t respond to my name being called and tore the book out of my hands. She asked me what I was doing and I told her, and she said, rhetorically, “Is this English?” Obviously not you stupid bitch. She only let me have the book when I told her I’d put the homework up and she walked away. I started reading again, because this was already a day late and this was the day it was due and cut-off time was by 4:20, no later.

She came back over and said, “Come outside with me, we’re calling your parents.” I obliged and trudged after her in front of the whole class, and she shut the door. The conversation began, and I’ll try to state it below as best I can remember.

Mrs C: Call your parents.

Me: They’re at work.

Mrs C: Do you know how HARD my life is dealing with all of you?

Me: ...

Mrs C: I ask you to work, and you don’t work. I ask you to put the homework away, and you don’t.

Me: I’m sorry, but my English homework is due today and if I don’t finish it then I’m going to fail the class.

Mrs C: Well you’re missing an assignment in my class, and you’re not in English. You’re taking up my time with this.

Me: Like I said, I’m going to fail english if I don’t get this turned in, which might mean I have to drop your class if I do.

Mrs C: The work is late because you didn’t do it. Who’s fault is that?

By this point I start crying because I haven’t let myself truly process the emotional turmoil that comes with knowing your mother is a suicidal drug addict.

Me: Things are really hard right now.

Mrs C, becoming colder even after I’m crying: I understand, but you need to get to work in this class. Why can’t you do your English at lunch?

Me: I’m leaving for a doctor’s appointment.

(Seeing my therapist):

Mrs C: Well then do it in the car. Why didn’t you do your English any earlier than today in my class?

Me: I worked on it first period but I couldn’t for chemistry and geometry. And like I said a lot is going on, my mom is in the hospital now..

Mrs C: You could bring your sketchbook when you visit her and draw.

My heart stopped. I was fucking FUMING. Not only does this dumb cunt have the nerve to tell me she “understands” my situation, but proceeds to state that I should be drawing while visiting my mother in the hospital? No one in their right mind would ever do this, and a teacher shouldn’t fucking expect an emotional student to either! She didn’t even sympathize with me at all! Agh....I’m getting angry just writing this.

I didn’t say anything until she was done berating me. I was sobbing at this point.

Me: Can I go to the bathroom now?

Mrs C, condescending: Oh, NOW you have to go to the bathroom.

I didn’t answer and swiftly walked to the bathroom, shut myself in a stall, and sobbed into my arms. It wasn’t that I was just angry, but thinking about my mom was tearing me apart.

It took me a few minutes to gather myself, but I eventually stopped crying and tried to let my eyes dry up so they wouldn’t be red. I didn’t want anyone to know I’d been having a panic attack over this stupid fat bitch. I came back into class and sat down. My friends asked if I was okay and I didn’t reply or I knew I would start crying again.

I went to my therapist and told her what happened. She was shocked and my dad told me to stand up for myself. She was an art teacher, not a professor at Harvard, and I shouldn’t give her the satisfaction of upsetting me. I realized he was right.

That weekend, I went to dinner with my mom and she was doing a lot better. I informed her of the situation and she was pissed. She told me to have Mrs C call her if anything like that ever happened again.

And then, the revenge.

I was actively ignoring her until the Tuesday after my dinner with my mom, or almost a week since our little outside conversation that ended in me sobbing in a bathroom stall. I’m not a weak pathetic bitch, I was going to stand my ground this time and not take shit.

The situation was something like this.

Me, not doing my work on purpose: ...

Mrs C: Get to work.

Me, not getting to work on purpose: ...

Mrs C: Outside, NOW.

I followed her, a plan forming in my mind already. Once the door closed she glared at me.

Mrs C: Do we really have to do this again?

Me: Please don’t make me call my parents, they already got mad when I told them what happened last time.

Mrs C, smug: Oh, I’m definitely calling them. Dial their phone number now.

Me, faking: Fine..

I did so, and dialed my mom’s. I watched this smug little cunt put my phone to her ear and wait as it rang.

Mom: Hello?

Mrs C: Yes hello, your daughter is disrupting my class and is ignoring me when I talk to her.

Mom: That’s what I told her to do.

Mrs C looked up at me, clearly confused.

Mrs C: I don’t understand.

Mom: She told me what you said to her last week and I’m not happy. Something along the lines of, doing her homework in the hospital while visiting her mom for a very short amount of time? Maybe your complete ignorance to her crying? No sympathy whatsoever? Your comment when she asked to go to the bathroom?

Mrs C, stumbling on her words: You daughter lied to you, I never said any of those things to her.

My jaw dropped in shock. What??

But it was fine, because my mom. went. OFF. I couldn’t hear all of what she said, but I know Mrs C walked off and talked to her away from me. My mom put her in her place and definitely told her something, not sure what but I’m guessing it was a threat. Mrs C walked back and gave me my phone, teary-eyed, and said nothing.

Her smug demeanor had completely changed, and from then on she hardly ever said a word to me if it wasn’t praising or congratulating me. I knew it was fake, but seeing her kiss my ass like that was fucking hilarious and life changing. It made the end of my year, and I never saw her again after sophomore year.

SHE RETIRED!

God, that still makes me giddy to this day to know that whatever my mom said was enough to make this cunt literally leave her job.. whatever it was, I appreciate it so much and I’m so glad I told my mom what happened. Without her, Mrs C surely would have continued bullying me and berating me for nothing. Not only did I save myself, but I saved my classmates because she became very passive after that.

Moral of the story: don’t make me hate you and don’t fuck with my mom. We make a scary team.

(source) story by (/u/painttted)

[escapekissed]

@pcisoner [ PLOTTING CALL ] in which i throw all my muses at u (fuck anxiety!) and we see what sticks BC SHE CANT HATE EM ALL lol

FINAL FANTASY MUSES

GLADIO - my idea is this! gladio works for the yakuza prince, who has lots of business all over the world. the lucis caelums are actually a political family---but they’re most known for their direct, unproveable involvement in shady boots business. gladio was raised by regis’s liutenant and political campaign manager, and regis & clarus have always plotted for their sons to follow in their respective places. as noctis has grown up, however, he’s found sort of a gang of his own and relies more heavily on prompto and ignis, and even hardened criminal gladio grows weary of noctis’s bad attitude and a life of killing and crime. 

he’s just kind of going along with it for now. when gladio first meets tabby---they’re cementing noctis’s overseas political & gang affiliations. gladio is a natural charmer, but also hopes to find out dirt on pretty much everyone he meets, as he appears to most as simply a bodyguard. he’s good at picking up on people---and tends to want to see through tabby’s flimsy outer mask and want to get into her head more than most people. he is VERY persistent.

does A RIVALMANCE bloom? gladio’s self-loathing and guilt mixing with tabby’s in toxic, interesting ways as they call each other out but are equally impressed with each other? do they become reluctant friends, as gladio continues to press tabby’s buttons but is inextricably tied to her life as the yakuza prince’s western influence grows and he NEEDS the information and skills she possesses? does gladio just annoy the fuck out of her and that’s it? WHO KNOW.

FANG - ok so i want witch fang & witch tabby lol. i would love a coven au where fang tries to get tabby to join her coven of [australian voice] bad bitches. but the coven is only vanille & fang right now and SURPRISE vanille is currently HIT WITH A CURSE from a nearby gang of wizards. actually this could be a good found family verse where fang & tabby just collect my girl muses that all go up against my guy muses as side characters or something. is that stupid? IDEK. i just want girl gang modern fantasy witches tbh. fang has a motorcycle in this. also fang in this like. hates tabby and calls her out all the time! but to CHALLENGE her to be better. anime magical girl rivals mance lol.

BARRET - tabby joins AVALANCHE and becomes a thorn in barret’s side as their consumables and poisons expert. barret both hates and loves her. (she is his favorite but also FUCK OFF ‘bitha. would it kill u to join in with the group for a change!)

WEDGE- WEDGE INSTATES AERITH’S BEST FRIEND FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. TENDS TO GO POORLY. OVER TIME TABBY GROWS A SOFT SPOT FOR HIM. unlike the muses i want to call tabby out. he just supports her all the time and kind of tries to EASE her into talking about her feelings. wedge: i want to talk about feelings. tabby: i know, wedge. wedge: do you want to talk about feelings? tabby: not on your life. 

AERITH - i like what we have going on right now TBH!!!! they are CUTE gay-but-no-homo-but-also-yes-homo?-no-i-didnt-yes-i-did-:3c friends lol. i would love to go DEEPER with them but also they are allergic to genuine feelings that are not said when drunk. obviously, we have to get them drunk.

DRAGON AGE MUSES

isabela - okay but pirate captain isabela attacking a ship apothecary tabby is on and isabela decides to TAKE PRISONERS and throw the rest of the fucks off the ship. tabby just wants to go home lol.

DISNEY MUSES

tiana - no one will call out tabby like tiana does. NO BULLSHIT FROM TIANA. KINDLY AND FIRMLY. and then tabby can call out tiana too bc tiana works too hard and takes on everybody else’s burdens and tabby’s like ARE YOU IN TOUCH WITH UR FEELINGS? and tiana’s like i’m feeling BOTHERED right now lmfao. also au where both of them are witches? yes please.

elsa - elsa going out into the world to learn more about other people with magic abilities like herself. she’s the spirit of magic, but sometimes that can be lonely. she feels like there must be other people like her, somewhere. what she finds is tabby! and she’s automatically obsessed lol but tabby wants NOTHING to do with her.... elsa has to get inside tabby’s defenses >: 3c SO THEY CAN BE BEST MAGICAL FRIENDS!!!!

eugene - i simply think tabby and eugene should be divorced exes that got married while drunk in vegas bc they DARED each other about it they were so high they were like ‘I BET YOU WOULDNT MARRY ME, COWARD.’ and it just escalated. and IMMEDIATELY got it annulled the next morning but also. sometimes eugene still thinks about it bc he’s a big sappy romantic and tabby is just like ‘GET OVER IT FITZHERBERT.’ lmfao

gothel - consider an au where gothel is the one that teaches tabby magic and they have a cunty i-hate-my-boss-but-shes-so-good-at-magic-so-i-have-to-stay-but-i-HATE-HERRRR relationship lol except both of them GROW AS PEOPLE FROM IT and gothel grows a secret fondness for her... wow

OTHER

howl - i just want them to hate each other. my idea for this is that howl gets called to wherever the heck tabby is currently living and tabby gets involved in it somehow and she FIGURES OUT HIS TRICK and immediately like. WANTS IN ON A REALITY BENDING ADVENTURE lmfao. they would hate each other too lol

[markipwiwer]

Following up on the angsty kid fic, may I request a fic about maybe a scared kid running from someone (could be a stranger or abusive family,) and running into Wil? Bubblegum boi being a protective dad, and taking care of the kid as long as he can get away with, and either him, Dark, or Anti, probably causing an “accident” to whoever was hurting the kiddo

Oh my god. It’s 4:30am and I finally finished this. It was such a difficult concept to make believable and not forced in this universe which is why it carried on but… I hope you like it!

-

Wilford had never previously thought he was good with children. He spoke to them in a respectful manner and treated them as equals and that was that.

And children typically found him to be quite an interesting adult. He was loud and improper and laughed at their jokes and paid real, genuine attention to their words. Not to mention he was magic. That was nice, too.

So every now and then, Wilford would find a stray child and entertain them appropriately before their parent or guardian showed up to whisk them away. And Wilford got… mixed responses.

Because as much as children often seemed to be at their very best when spending time with Wilford, even if they were previously afraid or upset, not all parents liked the look of Wilford. He looked suspiciously nice, almost too friendly, like a Willy Wonka type who was looking to take children away to some sort of magical place that would curse them or suck their souls out or make them bad at mathematics.

It didn’t help matters with those from older generations that took one look at Wilford and honest to God probably thought his name was Mr Gay Man McStereotype.

So when people attempted to scold him for doing something wrong by existing and also being around kids, he just shrugged it off and let people think what they wanted. He knew he wasn’t being unsavoury, so it mattered very little.

One day, Wilford waited with a girl whose parent didn’t come for her. She was maybe ten years old, sweet as pie, with just enough sass to keep Wilford on his toes and laughing merrily, and she had a tint of an accent that Wilford couldn’t quite place. Her name was Claire.

When he asked about her parents, Claire shook her head and went a little quiet. He tilted his head, not wanting to probe the issue, but it wasn’t like he could sit in the mall with her forever. Or, well, he probably could if he really tried, but he had a life and other things to do.

“Listen. I’ll ask them to make another call over the intercom, and we’ll wait some more, but beyond that, we’ll go to police.”

That promise was easier said than done, since Wilford had issues with police, but he’d figure a way around it. Or rather, maybe he didn’t need to because as soon as police were mentioned Claire was shaking her head furiously, hands out, begging him not to contact them.

Wilford furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why is that so bad?”

Claire looked at her hands and fidgeted for a moment.

“…Mom wouldn’t be happy if we brought police home.”

Wilford tilted his head again.

“We?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a brother, Jonothan. He’s pretty cool, he’s two years older than me and he loves video games and stuff, like Daddy.”

“Well, what about your father? Where is he at the moment?”

Claire shrugged, and looked kind of unsure about what to think of the situation.

“Mom kicked him out, it was weird. Now Auntie Kate does nothin’ but go in the other room and talk about Daddy, like ‘blah blah, Chase is so useless!’ And they think we don’t hear ‘em but we do! Don’t even wanna go into that room anyway, it smells weird.”

Claire seemed to just… go on a tangent, making voices impersonating her aunt and making hand gestures, the lot of it. If it had been anyone else, any other Ego who was a little more aware of their surroundings, perhaps they would have made the connection. But Wilford didn’t. All he saw was a young girl from a broken home who was struggling. And there was clearly something up with that police situation.

So he took her back to the Ego house. The reaction was… less than optimal from Dark.

“What on Earth were you thinking?! This is no place for a child! I know you want to… you know what? It doesn’t matter. We don’t have the time to deal with a kidnaping case, I’ll have Blue get onto this and we can just send this child back home before anything ridiculous happens.”

Dark quietly scolded Wilford in the living room while Claire sat in the kitchen and ate from Wilfords private cookie collection. Wilford tried to explain his concerns, that there was something going on with this kid, he just had a feeling, but Dark was persistent as ever.

Finally, once they were done and Wilford felt properly solemn and downtrodden, Dark walked into the kitchen and loomed over Claire. She seemed… weirdly unfazed. What had this child seen? Dark shook it out of his mind, and he spoke down to her.

“Authorities will be here shortly to take you back to your mother.”

Dark looked… stiff, in the way that he spoke, and Wilford stood behind him, rubbing his neck awkwardly. For the sake of not scaring the child too much, Dark had deliberately pulled in his aura, despite being incredibly annoyed. And then they heard a buzzing.

“- ye bastards wouldn’t know good tea if I shoved it up yer arse!”

Anti had clearly been having half a conversation with himself, wearing denim short-shorts and a shirt that was obviously Wilfords. He was holding a mug and getting rid of the teabag in it, turning around to bin it when he saw the small figure staring at him.

There was a beat.

“…Claire?”

“Anti!”

Claire jumped up from her seat and ran up to Anti, hugging his middle, not giving a damn about his attire or why the hell he was here in the first place, why either of them were there.

Anti looked shocked only in the fact that she was here right now, not that she’d hugged him, because he immediately put a hand in her hair and ruffled it lovingly.

Dark and Wilford looked at each other, utterly confused, as Anti started babbling to her and she babbled right on back. They were clearly comfortable with each other, and Claire’s accent became an awful lot stronger when she was around someone who shared it. She was some sort of wise old soul, and surprisingly enough, Anti treated her with the same kind of respect that Wilford had. Just… different.

“Haven’t seen ye in yonks! How’s the Ma?”

“Makin’ ends meet, as ye do. She banned Nerf guns in the house but Jonothan still does it, obviously. Auntie Kate’s being…”

“Auntie Kate’s bein’ Auntie Kate. Let’s just put it like that, huh?”

Claire giggled at that, and nodded. He finally looked up at Wilford and Dark, since he’d crouched to the ground to be on Claire’s level.

“So where is ye father, then? Guess he brought ye to visit?”

Wilford looked… awkward. Dark explained for him.

“No. We didn’t know this was Chases child. Wilford found her at the mall and her mother couldn’t be located.”

Antis brows furrowed and he looked back to Claire. Claire looked like she wanted to avoid his gaze, like she knew what he was going to ask.

“What’s she been doin’, Claire? What’s Stace been up to? Is…”

Anti hesitated, looking up at Dark and Wilford, then leaning in, cupping his hand over his mouth and whispering in her ear.

She listened and nodded, shyly.

Anti glitched in place. He looked like he was trying to keep a straight face.

“Jono’s still there, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Alrighty. Don’t ye worry about a thing. We gotcha now. I’ll call ye father and we’ll take it from there.”

-

Claire and Chase sat in the kitchen together after something of a teary reunion. There were many kisses and hugs and thanks in Anti and Wilfords general direction. Dark stood mostly in the background, as something of a mediator over the situation. Once Chase and Claire were settled, however, Anti found himself pacing in the living room, muttering and glitching.

Dark was the first to step in and ask Anti what the exact problem was, since he seemed to be somewhat oblivious. Wilford wondered how on Earth Dark managed to be so cool towards children.

Anti barely managed to keep his voice under control, obviously containing a lot of rage.

“He only started hittin’ the drink after she fuckin’ left! And now that’s exactly what she’s doing twenty four fuckin’ seven with the kids in tow! Ain’t lettin’ Chase be a goddamn father, bitchin’ to Cunty Katie and clippin’ em across the ear or screamin’ her tit off whenever they, God forbid, interrupt her fuckin’ drinkin’ sessions!”

It was a little hard to follow along. But the picture was clear enough. Stacy was an abusive drunk.

Dark looked guilty. Really guilty. He’d almost sent this child back home to an environment that was, at the very least, incredibly toxic, when the more than capable, biological father was just a phone call away. He felt ridiculous. Wilford looked more determined than ever though. Dark couldn’t quite place what sort of… determination it was, except for the fact that any time Wilford got determined about anything, someone was either about to be in for a treat or a lot of trouble and there was no in between.

-

Chase already looked tired and teary-eyed before they put Claire to bed in a guest bedroom. But afterwards, when he finally let go of everything on the couch, and Dark watched as Anti poured more genuine care and sympathy into Chase than he usually did with anyone, that was when Dark solidified a few things in his own mind.

Chase sobbed into Antis shoulder.

“She hasn’t even called! Not a text, nothin’! As far as she knows, our daughter is missin’ and she wouldn’t even tell me that!”

At that was concerning. That Stacy cared so little, either about her children’s welfare or Chase knowing what was happening in a crisis situation or both, to not contact him. Even Dark found that inherently wrong. Wilford sat, shaking his head the entire time.

Chase eventually stopped crying and was leaning on Anti. Anti held him in a curious manner, in a way that he held Wilford sometimes, but more… obviously comforting. It was strange to watch.

“So, ye comin’ to visit sometime?”

Anti nodded, running a hand through Chases hair, softly.

“Yeah. Gotta check in with Marv, and Jamie. And the nazi, fuck. And especially you.”

Chase tsk’d at the notion.

“Ye don’t have te ‘especially’ me, y’know.”

“Well… maybe I want to. Because ye’ve been workin’ hard and ye deserve some special treatment.”

Chase went silent, and he shifted a little as his eyes seemed to flicker over to Dark and Wilford, who had paid them the courtesy of mostly staying quiet and not staring too much, despite how sweet it was to watch Anti being so soft with anyone.

Chase buried his face into Antis chest, likely to hide the blush forming on his face. They didn’t really talk about the kinds of things Anti did for Chase sometimes. It helped alleviate some of the… crippling loneliness that came with a divorce. To Anti, it wasn’t a huge deal, and he’d be more gentle with Chase than he’d ever be with Dark or Wilford, because it was a totally different dynamic. Anti barely had it in him to be a dick to Chase when life was already crushing his soul more than any of Antis antics ever could.

-

When Wilford passed Chase and Antis door later on, he made sure to check that it was locked from the inside. God knows privacy could be difficult to get in this house. Wilford and Dark headed off to bed, both a little more quiet and contemplative than usual.

“You should haunt her, Darkling.”

Dark sighed.

“I won’t lie, I was considering it. But it’s an invasion of privacy. You know I don’t use it for… personal reasons.”

That much was true. Dark was picky about when he literally invaded people’s dreams like that. He didn’t like doing it unless totally necessary for a mission or something along those lines. But…

“Oh, come on. You look Chase in the eyes tomorrow morning and you tell me that horrifying excuse of a woman isn’t deserving of a good scare at the very least.”

Dark was silent for a little while.

“Alright. At the very least, she won’t be keeping the children full time.”

-

And that was that. A few days later, Jonothan was dropped off at Chases own apartment with a decent collection of his and his sisters belongings. There was still very little explanation from Stacy. All Chase knew was that she wasn’t trying to take him to court or press charges or anything of the sort. They spoke just enough to arrange for her to see them on weekends, and that was it.

And Chase, despite having the wind knocked from him in terms of the quick turn over, was looking happier. So much happier. To the point where Anti was down right chipper for a few days following the good news.

Wilford was… content. He was a little saddened that he didn’t get to spend any more time with Claire, and he hesitated to express this to Dark. But Anti made him feel infinitely better about things when he approached Wilford on the side.

“By the way… thanks.”

Wilford cocked an eyebrow.

“For what?”

“Bein’ yerself. None of this would’a happened if ye weren’t so goddamn loveable.”

Wilford blushed, maybe a little harder than the situation called for. But he supposed, If he was loveable to so many different kinds of people, demons and glitches and children, then maybe he wasn’t so bad.

[filmfirecr4cker]

PART 2!!

here are my notes for episodes 2 and 3.

episode 2:

“some ideas are destructive and some are constructive. some ideas arrive in the form of a dream. i can say it again: some ideas arrive in the form of a dream.” 

jerry is a character thats for sure 

one-eyed jack’s seems to be some sort of brothel? and benjamin said that there is a new girl there “freshly scented from the perfume counter”

this ties back to ronette pulaski bc she worked at the perfume counter at the horne’s department store. is there some kind of sex-work scheme happening here with the girls at the perfume counter and one-eyed jack’s?

it should make sense bc we already saw ronette in the skin world mag so maybe

that being said, this new girl is probably underage too considering ronette is too which is super fucking gross 

donna also comes from a religious family 

i will say that the girls at one-eyed jack’s are dressed super cunty

yeah dude this new girl looks barely twenty if that godddddd  

benjamin is most likely having relations with a girl his daughter’s age dude wtf 

COOP IS HERE WITH HIS NEW WHISTLE HE MADE 

hmm okay so ronette had recently quit her job at the perfume counter.. i wonder is this has something to do with how she ended up 

audrey left coop a clueeeeee

there’s another person in the woods!! uh oh- maybe it’s dr. jacoby again???

“laura was a wild girl” (leo to bobby) 

ed and nadine dont have the healthiest relationship which obviously doesn’t excuse the cheating but it def seems like the only reason ed has stayed with her is because nadine is mentally unstable and he’s scared she might do something drastic 

YESSSS THE GIRLS ARE PLAYING OUTSIDE 

bobby stop grabbing shelly’s face challenge???? she literally has fucking bruises 

awwww everyone crowding around lucy when she offers to pour them coffee :(((

they are all best friends i love them sm

BWHAHHA THE WAY THEY ALL LEAN FORWARD TO HEAR HIM TALK ABOUT TIBET

coop is so eccentric i love him so much 

the bottle was hit but didn’t break when they said dr. jacoby’s name

coop’s idea for this deduction technique came from a dream just like what the log lady said in the intro

the glass broke when they said leo’s name 

shelly cant be too much older than the other girls so im guessing she and leo must have gotten married after she graduated 

audrey said came by church because of laura, i wonder why?

“there were things about laura i didn’t like, but she did help take care of my bother johnny. guess i sort of loved her for that.” (audrey to donna) 

audrey asked donna if laura ever talked about her father and when asked why she said “he used to sing to her” WHAT THE FUCK????? 

now im wondering, if laura worked at the perfume counter and one-eyed jack’s bc that would connect ronette and her together and also to mr. horne 

maybe the reason audrey and her father aren’t close and she causes problems for him is because she knows about his relations with younger girls at one-eyed jacks??? 

audrey dancing in the middle of the diner was so real of her to do 

she’s winning the idgaf war 

hawk found a very bloody rag a little ways away from the crime scene in the train car. i wonder if it has any correlation to leo’s bloody shirt

i love that lucy stuck her tongue out at albert after he was being a dick to her 

WAAAA SHE’S READING A BOOK ON TIBET NOW BC OF COOP 

mama bear harry came out HEHEHHEHEHE GET HIS ASS 

coop’s little thumbs up he gave him oh my god they’re in love actually 

why does nadine put emphasis on BALLS when she says cotton balls LMAOO ITS CRACKING ME UP 

josie found that katherine is keeping two ledgers in a safe behind a bookcase 

oh god leland is breaking down 

jesus christ girl shut the fuck up????? he’s losing it fr 

leland cut his hand when they broke that picture of laura and now hes wiping his blood all over it….. what the fuck 

sarah keeps screaming “what is going on in this house” and i could not agree more 

something super fucking weird is happening there 

coop is having a weird dream rn. first we see him but a little older in a red room and there’s a little man in a red vibrating/shaking profusely in the corner of what looks like the same room, and then there’s some flashes of sarah running around looking for laura, the creepy man crouching at the foot of the bed that sarah saw earlier, laura’s corpse, and now some guy’s voice is saying “through the darkness of future pasts, the magician longs to see. one chants between two worlds ‘fire, walk with me’” 

there’s “fire walk with me” again 

the guy speaking is the one armed man from earlier!!

the one armed man is talking about how “we lived among the people.” above a convenience store

“i, too, have been touched by the devilish one. tattoo on the left shoulder. ah, but when i saw the face of god, i was changed. i took the entire arm off.” 

he then goes to introduce himself as mike and the creepy guy as bob 

“catch you with my death bag. you may think ive gone insane. but i promise i will kill again.” (bob) 

okay this might be a stretch but is it really a coincidence that those two guys’ names are mike and bob??? could they be bobby and snake but from the future somehow maybe??? 

laura’s in the red room now!!

the man in the red suit stopped shaking/vibrating, said “lets rock”, and started rubbing his hands together which seems to be making this high-pitches ringing sound like when you wet your finger and trace it around the rim of a glass

i love the choice of having them talk in reverse as well as their blocking. it makes it so much more unsettling

laura looks at coop knowingly and touches the side of her nose, which is known as a sign of secrecy or conspiracy. i wonder what she’s referring to with that? 

something floats by the curtains in the background of the red room. i guess they’re covering windows of some sorts 

the little man tells coop that “the gum you like is going to come back in style.” then turns to laura and says “she’s my cousin. but doesn’t she look almost exactly like laura palmer?”

coop is the only one not talking in reverse

when he asked ‘not-laura’ if she was laura palmer, she replied with “i feel like i know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.” 

talking about her arms bending backwards, her face contorts in pain 

the man in the red suit says “she’s filled with secrets.” 

he then says “where we’re from, the birds sing a pretty song and there’s always music in the air.” and music starts playing and he starts to dance  (not in reverse this time) 

not-laura gets up and kisses coop (kiss of death maybe???) then whispers something to him 

girl what the fuck 

LMAOOOO HIS HAIRRRRRRR 

i’m guessing coop could still hear the music from his dream bc after he got off the phone with harry, he started snapping to the beat 

off topic, but im wondering if the little red dancing devil in soul eater is based off of the little man in the red suit. if so, thats a cool nod to the show 

episode 3:

“we are ignorant of many beautiful things. things like the truth.” 

“one day the sadness will end” 

audrey said that she slipped the note about one-eyed jack’s under coop’s door to help with the investigation and when he said that he thought they weren’t friends, she goes “ we weren’t friends, but i understood her better than most.” she is so intriguing to me!! i cant wait to they reveal more about her relationship with laura 

so laura did work at the perfume counter as well I FUCKING KNEW IT 

“my dream is a code waiting to be broken. break the code, salve the crime” 

so coop’s dream elaborates a bit more than we saw in the episode prior. he knows about sarah’s vision of bob, and that mike cut off his arm bc he found god and wanted to stop killing. and when bob vowed to kill again, mike shot him. 

apparently not-laura whispered the name of her killer in his ear but he cant remember 

lucy copying harry :((

okay now why is benjamin here in the morgue???? 

okay but albert ate him up 

YASSS BEAT HIS ASS HARRY 

okayyyyy mr boss man coop 

invitation to love is an in universe show that may or may not have any significance but im noting it incase it is 

so laura has a cousin named Madeline who looks exactly like her (she’s played by the same actress) 

OMG IS THIS CALLING BACK TO NOT-LAURA!!

norma’s husband, hank, has a parole hearing tomorrow 

COOP AND THE DUCKSSSSSS <333

the briggs gotta be catholic 

when major briggs sat down next to bobby, their arms bumped against each other and bobby instantly shifted away 

you they’re catholic. betty had a rosary in her hands 

okay so im assuming major briggs wasn’t around for a majority of bobby’s childhood, hence their estranged relationship and how major briggs seems to want to build a connection between them 

god his dad is a military man AND a catholic? no wonder he has issues LMAOOO

laura was tied up two separate times on the night of her death 

her were bent back, just like in coop’s dream 

the “bites” on laura’s shoulders are very odd and have to be from some creature of some sort 

the letter ‘j’ was also found in laura’s stomach 

i love andy’s voice so much 

awww it looks like coop wants to retire in twin peaks :((((

ed and norma dated in high school so they have had feelings for each other for a while 

ed and nadine make me sad bc you can tell nadine really loved ed but his heart just isn’t in it anymore

there’s secret passages in the lodge!! 

dr jacoby also treats johnny horne 

bobby has a black eye!! from what? his dad maybe? 

bobby said that “we killed her” in reference to laura and seemed genuinely upset. so i guess you can say that he did truly care for her 

oh my god leland jumped on top of the casket…. GET A GRIP ACTUALLY!! BE A MAN

sarah told him to not “ruin this too” what else has he ruined?

i love how coop is so good at picking up on other people’s body language that he spooks everyone when he calls them out on it LMAOOO  

jacques renault is a bartender at the roadhouse and was mentioned a couple episode earlier. apparently he is apart of the drug ring in twin peaks. harry, hawk, and big ed have been working on trying to bust everyone involved for 6 months 

“this must be where pies go when they die” COOOOOOOP NUMBER ONE GIRL 

okay the little sign used by ed and hawk a couple episodes earlier is them dragging their fingers from their temples down their cheeks. its a code of acknowledgement within their secret society (harry is apart of it too) that keeps an watchful eye concerning the darkness surrounding the woods of twin peaks 

they call themselves the bookhouse boys (they were referenced earlier as well but i thought they were just a biker gang or something) 

coop is so excited about this lol 

they say that the evil in the woods “takes many forms”….

so james and joey paulson are apart of it too 

the renaults are in the drug ring with leo 

shelly’s got a gun!!! and she’s hidden it with leo’s bloody shirt 

oooooooooh josie confides to harry that she believes that katherine and leland had something to do with her late husband’s death and thinks they might hurt her too 

dr. jacoby’s actor is honestly really good 

harry and josie are actually so sweet im gonna kms :((((

hawk talks about dream souls to cooper and how they wander to “faraway places. the land of the dead.” 

god here leland goes making another scene… 

twin peaks notes!!!

okay so these are all my notes and thoughts on the pilot and the first episode :3 enjoy.

pilot:

“it (the story) encompasses the all. it is beyond the fire, though few would know that meaning” 

“laura is the one” 

god josie is actually so beautiful 

sarah's paranoid has everyone caught off guard. i wonder if she knows something we dont

i love the choice they made having pete’s pov of finding laura be shot handheld. it makes it so much more off-putting and found-footagey

I LOVE LUCY SHES SO CUTE

sheriff harry truman you are so beautiful to me <3 

poor andy :(

the shot of the palmer’s stairwell is so off-putting i love it 

AUDREYYYYY god shes so cunty 

the way leland holds onto harry’s jacket was such a good character choice 

goddd shelly is so gorgeous 

all the ladies are so beautiful lets be real 

shelly and bobby are linking 

bobby and laura were dating 

laura was 17 when she died 

i like the detail of aurdey changing from her oxfords to red heels when she gets to school 

james’s goofy ass haircut.. like girl whatever

the last time mrs. palmer saw laura was 9pm 

she had just come from bobby’s 

laura’s phone rang sometime that night 

the wide shot of the pulaski girl walking across the bridge is so fucking good 

james said “laura was the one” which is probably referencing the fact that she was the one for him but its also an echo of the log lady said in the intro as well sooo

AHHHHHHHHHH SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER FBI MY POOKIE BUTTTTTTTT 

oh my god i love him so so much actually 

i like how harry and coop meet at the end of the hallway and walk towards the camera and then the camera starts moving with them 

coop is actually so funny i love him. him and his trees 

you can tell harry fell for him right when he asked about the firs BWHAHAHA

while they were in the elevator, there was a man with one arm 

ronette repeated “dont go there” 

laura was dr jacoby’s patient 

laura’s parents didn’t know she was seeing him.. i wonder why?

i dont know if this was intentional or not but while dr. jacoby was talking to coop and harry, he was touching the hula girl on his tie under her skirt. idk i just noticed it and it weirded me out. fucking freak 

laura had a letter "r" under her nail on her ring finger. it seems like the killer is leaving a clue maybe??

apparently this is something coop has seen before 

snake and donna are dating 

laura’s last diary entry was “asparagus for dinner again. i hate asparagus. does this mean ill never grow up? nervous about meeting j tonight.” 

i love how lynch creates the atmosphere of twin peaks. it feels wet and cold 

“tell harry i didn’t cry.” oh andyyyyyy he’s so sweet. poor thing 

the video tape of donna and laura is so cute 

coop is so good at his job. thats my man

“you didn’t love her anyway” YEAH GET HIS ASS GET HIM 

audrey loves to cause problems on purpose and i support her 

snake and that gayass pose he does up against the wall 

laura was cheating on bobby with james 

donna definitely had feelings for laura and she fell into the trap of being in love with her best friend then hooking up with the boy she was with to feel close to her “i wanna kiss his lips bc they taste like you” kind of vibe yk?

love all the shots of the woods 

did ronette escape or was she let go?

the found laura’s half heart necklace and a note that says “fire walk with me” written in blood

james has the other half  

in the deposit box they found a flesh world magazine with ronette’s picture circled inside it and about $10,000 cash 

and there’s a pic of leo’s truck in the mag as well 

leo is shelly’s abusive ugly fucking husband. i hope he dies 

shelly is cheating on him with bobby 

the actor that plays leo is so bad LMAOOO 

the snowshoe rabbit :((((

coop is so fascinated by the flora and fauna of twin peaks and i love how he tells harry all about it (asking him questions and stuff). its so sweet

andrew packard was josie’s late husband who died in a boating accident a little over a year prior and he was katherine's brother. josie ended up inheriting everything that katherine would have so i guess that explains why she has a stick up her ass...

log lady is here!!! love her 

harry and coop are literally “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” LMAOOOO

i love harry sm. he's always looking out for everyone; hes such a good sheriff <3

teresa banks was the case that coop had mentioned earlier that made him think that laura’s death was connected somehow 

donna’s sister harriet is so cute. her being a poet and everything 

bobby is so annoying smhhhh 

“oh we’ll find her. dont you worry about that.” now why would you say it like that TO HER DAD YOU FREAK oh my god boys are so fucking stupid and creepy 

i wonder why snake and bobby are called “mutt” and “jeff” by joey and scotty????

ed and norma are having an affair and it seems like they’ve had feelings for each other for a while 

norma’s husband is in jail for manslaughter (yikes bitch)

oh coop is whittling i love him :(( 

HIS LITTLE THUMBS UP GOD

he’s by best friend guys like actually 

“you think they spotted us?” “gimme a donut.” LMAOOOOO LIKE???

laura was wrapped up in some fucked up stuff apparently 

“i knew her more that she thought i did.” ughhhhhhhhh kms

bobby killed somebody!! 

OOOOO THEY KISSED DONNA AND JAMES KISSED!! god it kinda was gross like they were literally eating each other’s faces BWHAHHA 

they buried their half of the necklace 

bobby is such a punk bitch 

OH MY GOD WHY DOES HE HAVE THOSE FUCKING CRAZY EYES DAMN

james looks like a cornered dog 

awww doc hayward and donna’s relationship is so sweet smhhh

lucy is such an angel with her little donut buffet 

EWWWWWWW WHY ARE THEY (snake and bobby) BARKING FUCKING TWEAKERS GODDAMN?!??!??!

josie and harry are so so cuteeeeeeee i love them 

harry literally pulled the baddest bitches in the entire show 

katherine is plotting evilly in her armchair WITH MR HORNE

god i love how foreboding the shot of the palmers stairwell is 

someone found the necklace donna and james buried and it looks like mrs. palmer had a vision about that or something??

lots of cheaters in this town LMAOOO

"it's beyond the fire" and "fire walk with me" what is the fire???

episode 1:

“behind all things are reasons. reasons can even explain the absurd.”  

HIS ASS IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO

his fucking sock garters COME ON

“diane, it struck me again earlier this morning. there are two things that continue to trouble me and im speaking now not only as an agent of the bureau but also as a human being. what really went on between marilyn monroe and the kennedys? and who really pulled the trigger on jfk?” LIKE BITCH!!! I HATE HIM (affectionately)

coop is so real for being transfixed with audrey bc me too

laura tutored audrey’s brother johnny 

johnny is said to have “emotional problems” bc he’s 27 and in the third grade. im assuming its some mental disability 

audrey said that “emotional problems” run in the family 

audrey you are so strange girl. love you tho

i love how everybody in the station has donuts in their mouths LMAOOOO 

i also love how coop says "three for three" after he sees andy, lucy, and harry all eating donuts

laura’s cause of death was blood loss

leo has a big old blood stain on one of his shirts :0

EW YOU FREAK LET GO OF HER GOD 

his nasty ass ponytail fucking barf

laura was doing cocaine 

james has been the only one who seems to have been the most honest whilst being interrogated (yk excluding the part about the locket) 

laura, bobby, and snake have been in cahoots with leo. im guessing it has to do with drugs 

laura’s video played again and it stopped on a frame of her face and her voice whispered “help me” 

big ed is james’s uncle 

harry knows about ed and norma

someone drugged ed at the roadhouse 

coop has some of his FBI guys coming down to examine laura’s body 

ed gave a little gesture to hawk when he returned james back to him, which hawk mirrored back to him. they seem to be touching the side of their eyes/temples? and wiping down, like a tear maybe??? what’s up with that?

james’s mom is out of town 

HEHEHHEHE HARRY CALLING THEM SHERLOCK AND WATSON 

pete and josie have a sweet relationship too :((

pete kind of reminds me of my dad a little bit 

laura helped josie with her english 

she aid that the last time she saw laura, she was upset about something but they didn’t talk about it. laura then told josie “i think i now understand how you feel about your husbands death.” whatever that means

katherine is such a cunt i hate her so much

of course cooper would know what shenanigans means 

katherine is cheating on pete with benjamin horne. gross. 

she and mr. horne are trying to bankrupt the mill. he also suggests that they burn it down

EWWWWW OH MY GOD HES KISSING/SUCKING HER TOESSSSS NOOOOOOOOO

so donna went over to the palmer’s house, and sarah suddenly hallucinated and thought donna was laura. then she saw a creepy guy crouching and looking up at her from a bed? and promptly started freaking out

rosette worked at the horne’s department store as a salesgirl at the perfume counter and joked it was “the sweet job she ever had”

the one armed man is back!!!

“laura died two days ago. i lost you years ago.” mr. horne said this to audrey and it gives us some insight into their relationship (i hope they elaborate on this more in the future)

okay so it looks like bobby comes from a religious and military home

his father is def the dominant head of the family. he has a strong presence and his wife seems to be more meek compared to him. very “good christian wife” core. thats not a dig at her, she seems sweet enough, but when general briggs slaps bobby for putting a cigarette in his mouth at dinner, she does nothing about it 

laura helped norma with the “meals on wheels program” that laura helped organize. she really does seem like such a golden child

the log apparently saw something the night laura died  

god, the way shelly’s face dropped when leo asked about his shirt gave me chills

laura recorded tapes for dr. jacoby

“i just know im gonna get lost in those woods again tonight. i just know it.” (laura on one of her tapes)

she also mentioned a  “mystery man”. i wonder if its the creepy guy sarah hallucinated or something

ohhhhh so it was dr. jacoby who found the other half of the necklace