#cult victims

[theonewhohyperfixates]

Took a break from studying to doodle.

Mori does not give me ankle biter vibes, they give me dick biter vibes.

[yellowflowrs]

Concept design for my version of Lamb (The Carillonneur) in the reverse au

their personality is just me when i see a cat

[littl3d0ll-art]

Narilamb but milk webkinz >:3

This is my peak

[my-midlife-crisis]

[just-null]

i am OBSESSED with that one yandere hantengu clone art! but i do wonder, did you change their appearance a bit to make them look alike but at the same time not? this is hard to explain, but i observed the clones nose shape, sekidos hair being more different than the others, and facial structures making them each being different. very sorry if this doesn’t make sense it’s hard explaining what i noticed (T ^ T)

I think I understand what you mean, don't worry! you did wonderfully!

and basically, yes and no!

Some things were probably accidental (like facial structure), but the purposeful tweaks were their eyes and hair yeah!

I wanted the viewer to be able to tell the difference between them without being explicitly told who's who.

[design yapping under the cut]

I've heard that depending on what expression you're making often, it changes how you rest your face, and I wanted that to translate into how i drew them!

that and if you look REALLY closely, there are some subtle differences between them all in the anime/manga, so i accentuated those and added my own spin to it too.

So, if i were to draw the four making a neutral expression, it'd look something like this!

And that would HOPEFULLY be enough to give you an idea about who's who while also keeping their faces EXTREMELY similar yet a little different at the same time

but knowing me....... i'd probably still make it super obvious.......

I changed their nose because Hantengu had a sharp nose, and I thought it'd be hot cool to see them with one! I have no excuse for the eye bags and dimples.. they look like they have the type of hot guy aura to have those traits............... orz

i try not to forget small details but i probably do sometimes making them look different //slams head against wall

[bloos-bloo]

Welcome to the circus..

….part 2-

THE CIRCUS CREW HAVE BEEN REDESIGNED CHAT. HOW ARE WE FEELING??

Personally- I feel like these designs live up to the expectations I have for myself when it comes to a circus.. with darker intentions. Instead of bright colors everything is a bit muted- (besides Leshy, he’s a baby)

OH! An important detail I forgot- Notice the bells! :D who has them and who doesn’t.. <3 the bells are veerryyy important!

WHAT IS TOYBOX?? OHHH IM GLAD YOU ASSKKEDDD-

ToyBox is a Cult of the Lamb Circus AU where the lamb (Emery) trapped the Bishops and clears their memory of their previous lives! It’s mainly a Narilamb centric story- but there’s a bit of everyone for everybody to enjoy <3

We got some individual ref sheets too! Don’t mind me yapping about each one.

THIS IS YOUR WARNING NOW-

ToyBox does deal with dark themes like sexual harassment, abuse, trauma, and kidnapping. So if that is something you would rather avoid, I suggest turning away now.

For the individuals- I will be adding a bit of info on their stories so far, their stage names, and just- inspo behind the characters \o/

Going from youngest to oldest here-

Leshy literally has the mentality of a child. He’s the young one out of all of the circus performers. He yearns to be in the spotlight just like the rest of his family, but he’s always pushed aside.

Emery gave him the name “Pipsqueak” because of his size.. He doesn’t know that she caused that. Out of everyone- he’s the only performer to wear bright colors. (Mainly to show off his childish personality-)

When it came to writing Leshy- I wanted to focus on the result of childhood trauma, and Leshy is an embodiment of that. His behavior is to make up of the fact that there’s something clearly wrong- but in order to protect himself, he hides it away and thinks of everything else.

Heket has it rough- her mouth is stapled shut and she’s a greeter?? Girl- pick a struggle. She tries to be open to everyone, but she often has a hard time with it. Her relationship with her family is strong- and that’s all that matters, she just needs to know that they’re safe.

“Nobody.” listened to Heket when she had suspicions. “Nobody” listened to Heket when she raged about Shamura’s injury. “Nobody” listened to Heket when she called out Emery for mistreating her family. “Nobody” listened to her. And that’s why she’s nobody. Because nobody will ever listen. Emery made sure of it.

It’s obvious what I based Heket off of- when it comes to abuse, there’s the ones who take it silently or are forced to be silent. Which was what happened to Heket, she knows what’s going on, but she cannot say it- and even if she did.. will anyone listen to her? Probably not.

Narinder does a little bit of everything- he has no solid role in the circus since Emery makes sure he is near at all times. Sometimes it’s annoying.. oh- it’s so annoying.

Figment- It’s allll a figment of his imagination. There’s nothing wrong in the circus. Nothing at all! And if there was.. it isn’t real, it’s in his head.. Emery always drills that into him.. it’s not real.. these ideas of having another life- it’s fake.

Narinder is very easy to figure out- he’s based on victims in general. How easy it is to fall for manipulation- and easy it is to try and stick around instead of causing anything else.. a sad reality.

Kallamar has a body and they know it. They use it sometimes- though is it desirable? Nope- She often changes her form since she can freely stuff or take out. It helps whenever the gazes get too much.

Minx. A sexually playful woman who often causes trouble. The complete opposite of Kallamar. In fact- she hates the stares, she yearns to have it be drawn away- and it’s not like she tries to bring in the eyes of men. She’s just given outfits to match his routines..

Reason why I associate Kallamar with “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” They are. Kallamar is not a hoe unlike my other AU- The idea of her is the way women are treated in modern society. Male gaze is horrible- and subjecting a body to such light is just- eugh.

Shamura- the sweet little storyteller who can barely remember their name. They just want to tell their stories and not have to worry about freaking out.

Seeker. They kept seeking for information. They kept digging and digging until it landed them somewhere they shouldn’t have been. Emery made sure they would forget, made sure that they would power off a lot more..

Now, Shamura is very special to me for this AU. A good majority of this AU being surrounded by abuse from aspects I have experienced in life. Shamura represents abuse in general. Just the fear of speaking out because of the backlash from the other, something I know of very well. They dissociate to draw away from the pain- from everything. Forgetting to protect themself.

Emery is the host, the leader of it all. She needs energy to survive- devotion. which- here devotion is given to her through cheers from the crowd. And without performers- she wouldn’t have a crowd.

Ringmaster.. it’s very self explanatory- Emery is in control of it all. Of the entire business and of what happens. Her role doesn’t stop off stage… it never does.

Emery is a character that can’t be forgiven, her actions weigh the amount of positives she could have and it sucks. Cause it’s easy to want to love her- but you can’t because of her history. Doesn’t that sound familiar? She’s basically based off people who know they’re toxic, yet never change.

[malama-art]

thinking about milgram

[cultpastorkevin]

Cult Tips for AFTG writers

notes from the resident ex-cult pastor

If you’re in the cult, there is nothing bizarre abt what’s happening and in fact the normal stuff that happens outside of it is what’s bizarre to you. Target? Weird. McDonald’s? Even weirder. I can like guarantee Jean and Kevin never had McDonald’s until they left the Nest.

When you leave, you’re gonna be paranoid as fuck. All the time. Ngl at least for weeks but sometimes for years. Nightmares and insomnia 24/7. Hallucinations too lmao Riko is in every corner of empty rooms and you can hear his voice echo in the confines of the lockers.

I see a lot of Jean wanting to go back to the Nest, but not a lot of Kevin wanting to go back. He definitely struggled, 100%. In fact when he was in the pits of agony from his broken hand, was when he probably wanted to go back the most. Cult is home, cult is safe. Four walls you’ve always known and while it’s a cage at least it’s dependable. They hurt you but by god it always works out and the reward of pushing through this tragic incident is greater than the terror it caused in the first place. It’s a gift, actually. A gift from Riko. He saved Kevin. Cults save you. Cults make you wanna return to them like damn homing pigeons bruh. Give me more shattered hand Kevin screaming at Wymack to let him go back home and having a breakdown when he’s denied fics thanks

Piggybacking off the last one: cults are saviors; you’re nothing without them and they make sure you truly believe that; that everything that is done to you is for you and you’re blessed for it to be happening. You’re lucky even, to be allowed in it. Everything is as it’s supposed to be and order must never be challenged, because it works, and you’re the Edgar Allan Ravens, and this is the most honorable place you could be. All the pain you go through is you earning the right to be saved and to prove your worth every day on court. Only the worthy are honored.

You justify everything that happened and you will start fights and get angry with people who try to correct you and tell you it was wrong what went on.

On the other hand, you blame yourself for everything ever that happened there whether you were at fault or not. Hurting others, hurting yourself, gaslighting the fuck out of yourself over things maybe you could’ve prevented and over things you never could’ve stopped. The guilt is crippling and it eats you alive and haunts you.

There’s a lot of shame too. I see more guilt written than shame but shame is a huge portion of emotions that cult survivors have. Shits embarassing dude like “god how did I end up thinking this wack ass shit was normal” 😐 Shame comes later in the healing process usually, it’s after you have come to terms with shit that’s happened and you understand it. Looking back, you go “Jesus fucking Christ that was a red flag what the hell. Should’ve left then, or then, or then, or then” and then you’re just plain fuckin embarrassed.

Please look up how hive minds and brainwashing are created and work; understanding these would be incredibly helpful tbfh.

Diets are big; everyone eats the same thing; food is used as a reward and a punishment.

Hype hype hype. They whip up a frenzy of one singular emotion and use that to push you into a blind hysteria because you’re more suspectible to their influence when you’re out of your mind.

Drugs. Depends on the cult. But yeah these little bitches can be a huge factor for shit and can help with the brainwashing and hysteria and trauma bonding. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being drugged or poisoned until you leave.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Dehumanization and then being treated like a person again can be traumatic as fuck yall!! Holy shit! Sometimes it feels worse than being dehumanized!

EDIT AGAIN: you don’t know what mental illness is !! Cults don’t fucking tell you these things lmao. if you show symptoms it’s your fault. Kevin being depressed his mom died was gonna get blamed on him and he was never going to be told grief is normal and it’s okay to be insanely sad. Jean also never got told his anger was correct or his trauma responses to being raped were realistic! They just got blamed for any reactions ever that weren’t neurotypical !! that is all; do with that what you will.

Idk if I think of anything else I’ll write another one but that’s all for now; I haven’t slept much lmao 🫡

[theonewhohyperfixates]

Am I ever going to be consistent with how I draw my Lamb? Probably not! All I know is I want them to be as cute as they are creepy.

.

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Eventually I will finish this sketch and start posting on my main account.......

[millidew]

vampire, vampire

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

suguru loves it when you bite him but cult leader geto will straight up let you use him as a chewtoy

[exmo-diaries]

i wanna clear something up to nevermos real quick: most mormons don’t look at the full picture of their religion. most mormons are not being openly racist or zionistic or homophobic. most mormons don’t practice what they preach. most mormons do their daily readings and prayers and think about their church the way they’re supposed to, but most mormons don’t fully comprehend it. most mormons are cult victims who genuinely want to to what’s best in the way they believe is right. while racism, zionism, homophobia etc. are unavoidable in the scriptures, this doesn’t mean they understand what is being taught. those who do understand it often don’t support those specific parts of the scripture and speak out against them. many outsiders seem to forget mormons are their own individual people.

hate the church, not the person

[lord-squiggletits]

The other day I saw something that actually made the fandom's complete lack of acknowledgement towards Megatron grooming/brainwashing Tarn make a lot of sense, which was essentially a comment that implied something along the lines of 'Tarn made himself worse.'

Which like, I guess makes sense as a justification? If you just write off Dying of the Light and Tarn's entire existence as him just "choosing" to be "worse" I guess it's easy to just blame Tarn and coddle Megatron as the victim of the whole thing.

As opposed to the actual truth of canon which is that Tarn was not always Tarn, Tarn used to be Damus, Damus was nothing like Tarn at all, and it was Megatron's direct, malicious, targeted intervention that took Damus (normal guy) and made him into Tarn (zealot freak). And that the DJD wasn't Tarn's creation, it was Megatron's creation, because Megatron not only wrote the DJD rulebook but also directly trained them (at least the initial members of the DJD, including Tarn) to be brutal, sadistic killers. And that Tarn's mental breakdown in Dying of the Light and subsequent deathhunt on Megatron was just Tarn continuing to fulfill the role Megatron assigned to him, which was to hunt down traitors to the Decepticon cause and make them pay in pain and death. In other words, that Tarn was literally carrying out the exact purpose that Megatron groomed him for, in service to the ideology that Megatron shaped to be centered entirely around ruthlessness, cruelty, and subjugation. And that everything Tarn did as an evil person was merely a logical extension of the ideology Megatron brainwashed him into carrying out, not him randomly deciding to "make himself worse" one day bc he was angy at his daddy.

But sure. I guess, from a certain, very zoomed in and granular perspective, Tarn is evil because he just chose to be that way and no one could've possibly predicted him turning on his master who reshaped his entire life to serve his will and then abandoned him. It's not like Megatron radicalized him for no reason and then built him to be a ticking time bomb or anything. No, Tarn just... decided to make himself worse. One day, for no reason at all. Mmmkay.

[geekyglamour413]

he's sooo unwell

[aerithisms]

i've been rotating shadowheart saying "stop being so gentle" in her dark justiciar sex scene in my head ever since i saw it bc it is so. SO devastatingly sad. here is a woman raised in a cult to believe pain is good and suffering is good and all the agony she suffered as a child and still suffers now in the name of her goddess was right. and then somebody comes along who loves her and they treat her with tenderness and she can't fucking bear it and she begs them to stop because if she thinks about the fact that being loved and cared for doesn't have to involve pain then she'll have to question what the point of all her suffering was and she's committed too many sins to look back now.

[fave-fix]

hey guys do we realize that the main difference betwen how kai and midori developed is that kai was given the chance to learn what normal life and love and family was like by working with chidouins while midori was kept under asunaros thumb all his life. do we realize that just a few changes could have kai acting just as cruel and merciless as midori. do we realize that midori is a victim of asunaro too, and though that doesn't excuse his actions it does make them more tragic. do we realize this or are we all being serious when we say midori is the only character who isn't worth redemption.