#csa implied tw
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i am so tired of my body being a crime scene.
#mine#angst#rp musings#angry#abuse mention tw#abuse implied tw#sa tw#sa implied tw#csa tw#csa implied tw#just venting thru musings dont mind me
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Reading Lolita, and god Dolores in her later school years makes me so sad. She’s 14, presented with a teenage life she’s not allowed to live. She’s appointed as her fathers keeper. She keeps her friends away from him.
She has all these awful jobs, all these awful responsibilities. She hides dimes behind picture frames and ones in book pages. She wants to get away. But you’ve gotta figure she thought, what will happen if I leave? Will he follow me? Will he find another Lolita?
Poor Dolores.
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So the thing about that "Victorian doll collection" bit is while obviously he's fucking around it's very similar to a HC concept I've had in a sort of similar vein to Dog Pound where Kendall has a shameful fantasy of recreating that experience with himself as the one with the power without the guilt of actually making another person into that, having an intense emotional identification with the one being used and so on.
#csa implied tw#the roy family sickness#kendall roy#succession#succ scripts#also kinda in a similar vein to the corpse thing roman tried with tabitha
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september 6th 2024
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I submitted a request for an ask game hosted by @streetlight-halo . But then I realized I wanted to do my own version too, so have song #38 on my Revolutionary Girl Utena playlist with Nanami. The song is “I Bet on Losing Dogs” by Mitski, but I think everyone knows that already lol
#fuck I forgot tags#ok wait#revolutionary girl utena#shoujo kakumei utena#nanami kiryuu#anthy himemiya#made this while watching hbomberguy’s james somerton video#fuck somerton’s utena takes actually#anthy deserves so much better#tw implied csa
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the director
still images under the cut (tw for allusions to csa)
#my art#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#akio ohtori#utena tenjou#anthy himemiya#touga kiryuu#kyouichi saionji#eughhhhh hope this guy dies#only serious drawing im doing of him. for now anyways. idk if ill get more ideas for him in the future#not that i want to draw him more anyways#tw implied csa#tw csa#ask to tag#2024
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Thinking about how little bodily autonomy Daan possessed his whole life
#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#faht#daan von dutch#implied sa#implied csa#tw sa#hopefuly these tags are sufficient! please tell me if there's another trigger warning tag I should use for stuff like this#I just can't stop thinking about the implications. this guy has my brain in a death grip
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Tw: rape mention
A lot of Terran propaganda is played for laughs in Human Domestication Guide.
“Weeds are gonna enslave you to work in their mines!”
I think an alternate take would parallel fascist and conservative propaganda today. Because the Terrans know the Affini are taking humans as pets and doing insane sexual things to them, play it up.
“Plants want to rape your wives! Don’t let that happen.”
“the Affini hate strong men and are gonna try to crush our indomitable human spirit. We will resist!”
“Are you going to end up like this guy? (Picture of drugged, happy trans woman kneeling in front of her Affini) I didn’t think so! Join the Accord Navy”
“Is your neighbor a plant fucker? Look for these signs:”
“Affini are heartless. They go after the weak and turn them into mindless propaganda machines. It’s sick. We need to stop this”
A lot of it would be regressive, as backlash to the insane wish fulfillment of the Compact. “It makes you soft.” “It’s immoral.” “You’re a bad person and should be shamed if you want it.” A side effect of it would be going after marginalized communities in the Terran Accord as well. With governments and corporations trying to crack down and control a growing mass of people who would be totally okay with domestication. Ban kink stuff. Just label kinksters as plant fucker sympathizers and draft ‘em to the navy.
Just some thoughts. I would love to see some new takes like this as the setting matures
(tw: csa implied. Not canon due to setting rules but they’d play into the “think of the children” angle a LOT. It’s a species of sex aliens. People do not want to even imagine what would happen to their kids regardless of what Affini would actually do)
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MY BODY TURNED INTO A CORPSE WHEN YOU TOUCHED IT VIOLENTLY.
#actuallymentallyill#actuallytraumatized#sa vent#complex ptsd#sa awareness#actually ptsd#physical abuse#sa survivor#tw csa#csa implied
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other sa survivors, does anyone else hate the trend of people saying like 'im gonna touch you' as a .. joke ??
#sa trauma#tw sa implied#sa vent#tw sa mention#cw sa#sa recovery#sa victim#tw sa#sa survivor#csa victim#cw csa#tw csa#cw cocsa#cocsa victim#cocsa survivor
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dean offering to teach sam how to kiss. sam already having been taught by john
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thinking again how cruel it is that sheppard doesn’t recognize benson at the school. this is the man who ruined his life, the man whose touch he’s lain awake remembering every night for three decades, and benson isn’t even on his radar. sheppard got to forget; he got to move on and benson never had the chance to. he died remembering.
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Still turning over a post I saw the other day in my head, about how The Old Guard function for Logan as what he would like his children to be. Frank and Kendall as the loyal kicked dog, Gerri and Shiv as the token woman puppet, and Karl and Roman as the discreet sexual deviant. It got me thinking again about Logan's relationship with Lester and the Wolf Pack, and how despite expressing disgust toward them he still seems to genuinely enjoy them perfectly fine as friends or at least associates. I feel like it's partially when he was a young man he saw them as just fun-loving weird little perverts and the more blatantly dark and reprehensible their actions got the more he in turn got jaded and accustomed to it, but also on some level I think Logan feels a kind of fucked up respect for that type of sicko, because it's one he recognizes and can understand in a primal way. And to me that's probably something to do with his history with Noah and "the evil that men do" and feeling drawn to it even though it fucks with his self-image of a wholesome family man. He tells himself that as long as he keeps those two worlds separate, keeps his own hands clean and takes care of his bottom line, that's all he needs to be concerned about.
(Problem is, of course, that those two worlds can't be separate, not when family is business and business is fucking. And of course he doesn't want any of his kids to be fucked in the head, especially if it becomes something he can't control. It's just, well, you spend so much time around these guys and their shit and getting comfortable with it...)
#also i think they probably serve a similar role to him as the nazi gang with walt in s5#both representing how low he's sunk that he associates with them and technically making himself look more moral in comparison#csa implied tw#the roy family sickness#logan roy#succession
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“But he was just a child”
So was I
And I’m suffering and he’s not
#cw cocsa#cocsa victim#cocsa vent#cocsa survivor#tw cocsa#csa vent#tw csa implied#csa survivor#tw csa#actually mentally ill#actually ptsd#ptsd vent#personal vent#traumatic experience#actuallytraumatized#mental health#repressed memories
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When little-course appears on my dash
Some of you are way too concerned with what others are doing in their own systems
People heal differently, and it's generally accepted and suggested that you need to expose your child parts gradually, as they're ready, to things they would typically encounter growing up, including sex, drugs, drinking, driving, love, whatever else might come their way
This is part of integration, and you're ignoring that they've lived your entire life with you already
Yes, even those times
Hell, they're usually there because they lived through it directly, and it's their BIGGEST memory, maybe give them a few better ones
Here's my favorite article that discusses it, all aboard
Instead of worrying about who's banging who in other systems, maybe realize your nose doesn't belong there and go talk to your own child parts and littles for a change, maybe teach them something, tell them how to spot groomers if you're that worried
You don't know the situation, you don't know who's watching that part, holding their hand, how mature that part is, nothing
You know nothing about that system's dynamics
As long as the body is an adult, it's NOT your business, and NO one wants your input or narrow generalizations
For all you know, you're killing a damn good vibe, shame on you
#syscourse#littlecourse#nosy fucks#this is syscourse not gossip central#once you realize child parts and littles are generally different you stop caring#tw csa implied#why not jump in#when you forget your dash isn't the syscourse tag
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samjohn so dear to me actually i wish it was more popular in terms of discussions and fan explorations (also fics though). john viewing/treating and trying to keep sam in this image of purity and innocence, because he knows hes not. but sam has to believe hes pure. john has to hold on to that. johns possessiveness over sam and the lashing out and rejection when sam forms a personality and john cant control sams thoughts anymore (which is all very incest adjacent to me). sam growing up and recognizing the abuse and trying to get away (sam often saying "getting away from Dad" specifically). azazel in johns body with sam + azazel in samuels body with mary. mary mistaking azazel for john. john driving to stanford and watching sam without sam knowing. dean feeling unloved compared to johns love for sam, and wanting to be loved like sam, not knowing sam feels trapped and like it wasnt love at all & dean blaming sam for how he talked to john and that sam shouldve been grateful for being loved like that (very alike to incestous sa victim blaming). sam thinking hes a disappointment for leaving and standing up to john/for himself. sam the rebellious one who was always the one to speak on the way john mistreated them but crumbles as soon as john says hes sorry or shows any form of affection/emotion. the change of how sam talks about john after his death re: forgiveness/understanding. sams conflict between love and hate for john and between following and rebelling. john saying the options are that sams either 1. under the protection and supervision of family to keep him pure/good/safe or 2. he has to die; and both is out of/despite his too extreme love for sam. all the ways mary and sam parallel each other, john listening to sam and hearing mary. the way sam and john always have that crazy eye contact going on and how john keeps staring at sam during 1.16. not even starting here with 14.13 or john pov lest i go insane
#my wording is a bit all over the place here so idk if it actually sounds like what i mean. its whatever tho#to me its always dean and sam both being abused but in such seperate ways they cant see what happened to the other#both of them ending up jealous of the other and unaware that theyre jealous of something bad#samjohn#sam winchester#tw csa implied#*#spn meta
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