#cryptid dad talks

[counterfeit-cryptid]

Drawing the One Who Waits with his wisdom teeth freshly removed and loopy af because I just got all 4 of mine taken out today and the entire experience leading to it and after it was wild

[your-cryptid-dad]

CULT OF THE LAMB LOCAL CO OP UPDATE???!!!!! LETS GOOOOOO

[dysphoric-cryptid]

There is just something about the idea of going on testosterone that makes me want to grow my hair out... like maybe if I start it growing it out won't be so bad

[kindasleepycryptid]

Captain Anderson, my man

[hellishgayliath]

.

[milimeters-morales]

(ACAU) Miles has very little control over the situations, forms connections with stuffed animals, real animals, imaginary friends/family because they can’t hurt or control him, begins to dissociate or check out so sometimes body in autopilot, sort of reverts back to his 8 year old state (start of trauma) during the middle of storyline, so gives off childish air that a lot of autistic people fight against bc infantilizing but complicated in this specific context

[the-acid-pear]

Need to finish my Dave design so I can draw him with Mori

[skitskatdacat63]

4, 6, 22, 31 for the ask game!

Hehehe ty for asking!

4. "Which cryptid do you believe in?"

...Mothman. Kidding! Idk if I believe in any of them, but god, do I have a personal family cryptid story that is hilarious. My dad swears to this day that while he was standing in the driveway, some creature(which he "determined" was a fisher cat) was behind a car and was making what we describe as "leprechaun noises"(that's what his impression sounded like), and then it saw my dad and made a scary noise at him. It's just one of those things that's permanent bullying ammunition against him, every time he says some unbelievable story, the rest of my family just start making leprechaun noises at him and say "oh is this a fisher cat again?"

6. "Why did you do that?"

The question I ask myself every day after downloading 100+ F1 pictures in one sitting...

22. "What type of person are you?"

Hard to say 🤔 very talkative and hopefully funny? I think I'm generally initially closed off but if you get me comfortable, I will not stop talking

31. "What type of music keeps you grounded?"

Russian music. Or I guess more specifically Russian post-punk music. Bands such as Кино, Молчат Дома, Ploho, Дурной Вкус, and Nürnberg. It's just music I can listen to endlessly because I don't know the lyrics fully, so I can kinda just turn my brain off while listening to it, if that makes sense? But this genre specifically because the instrumentals are so good, just absolutely amazing. But it's music that honestly is kinda the background music of my daily life

[caffeinewitchcraft]

AITA for going no contact with my brother after he pulled a scare on my husband?

EDIT: For those of you coming here from my brother’s post (X) to shit on me, you look like idiots. Try to have an original thought and really contemplate who’s telling the truth after hearing both sides.

I (32f) am one of three siblings. We come from a very well off family. My dad is a former Cryptid and he pioneered the Hook Man in the 70s, so he still gets residuals off of that. We grew up very comfortable and with the ability to do anything we wanted in life. My older brother went to a very prestigious school and my dad gave him the money for tuition. Because my older brother got scholarships, he was able to save some of that money. Right now he works in human tech (very lucrative), but his long-term plan is to use the money to start a Cyber Spook business once he is satisfied with his knowledge foundation.

I ended up taking a gap year before going to community college, but I never felt anything click. I worked part-time jobs spinning out scarer costumes and even did some part-time work as a slasher before deciding it wasn’t for me. I finally found my calling when I offered to help cater for my high school reunion, and now I run a fairly successful catering business.

When it came time for my younger brother, “Steve,” to get his money, he didn’t tell anyone what he was going to use it for. He was working as a Slasher at a small firm in town. We all assumed he’d either go to Scare School or invest the money to start a business like our older brother did.

So when Steve showed up to Halloween dinner one day, six feet taller with extra joints in his arms and legs, we were all shocked.

Dad was furious. He gave us all the same talk about the scare industry when we got our first part-time jobs documenting missions at his company. He told us that scare work was hard and backbreaking. We couldn’t buy our way into it or use his connections to become successful. If we were interested in it, we had to work our way up from the ground like he did. If we didn’t, we’d more than likely end up dead at the hands of a final girl.

He especially emphasized that mods had to be considered carefully and were NOT a substitute for skill.

Steve thought they were. When his company didn’t pay him back for his body modification AND didn’t promote him from Slasher to Regional Nightmare, he quit. But the surgeries drained his cash and he couldn’t afford his apartment anymore. He had to move back in with Mom and Dad. As always, Mom totally coddled him. She said that he didn’t have to pay rent and agreed with whatever he said when he’d go on these long tirades about his former company.

I could tell Dad wasn’t happy with the arrangement, but he’s never been able to go against Mom. So he mostly kept his mouth shut though he did try to get Steve a job at his old company. However, last I heard, Steve was set against anything corporate and was spending a dozen hours a day driving around using the app SlashDash to find jobs.

About a year and a half ago, I was over for dinner with Steve, Mom and Dad. Steve was talking about work. He said SlashDash wasn’t working out for him and was taking too many fees out. I offered advice since I’d done Slashing in high school. I recommended sites like Scarework and Midnighterr to get more gigs.

Mom told me I interrupted Steve. She gestured for him to continue and tell me about his exciting new setup.

Steve told me he was beyond the sites I recommended. He said he’d bought a scanner so he could listen to broadcasts of active corporate missions. When those fail, he arrives on scene to kill any straggling humans before the scare company in question can send a cleanup crew. And since he’s a Slasher on their scene, they have to give him emergency pay for doing it. It’s a total ambulance-chaser, bottom-feeder move.

Dad was just staring at his plate, not saying anything, but I could tell he was ashamed of Steve. Steve was bragging about being a vulture in the profession Dad helped build.

I asked Steve if he was proud of himself for living off of leftovers. Steve blew up at me, but so did Mom. She chided me for not respecting my brother’s hard work and that his idea to get a scanner was genius, not predatory.

After that dinner, Steve and I rarely talked. Most of the news I got about him came from our older brother bitching about Steve badgering him for scare connections or Mom bragging about Steve killing and “meeting quota.” She would get very cold with me when I told her he was finishing a quota someone else started and not doing his own work. She told me if I couldn’t respect Steve, then I was welcome to not come over while he lived with her.

(Yes, Steve’s always been the golden child.)

I stopped interfering with Steve and focused on my own life. Shortly after, I met my wonderful fiancé “Reginald” while catering an event at Dad’s old company. Reginald is the head of sanitation and he’s the one who gets sent out to clean up any unexpected events during a Scare (like any magical residue or body parts that can’t be explained away through human means). He used to want to be a Cryptid, but he’s got a heart condition that prevents him from working in the field. He says that he’s happy being the “janitor” and happier being with me 😊

Reginald and I got engaged after only eight months of dating. Dad always says that when you know, you know. I invited everyone in my family to an engagement party. Steve didn’t bother answering the invitation. Even though Steve and I weren’t on good terms, I was still hurt when he didn’t show.

When I confronted him about it afterwards, he said that he’d been promoted to Regional Nightmare and he was patrolling his territory, and that’s why he couldn’t come. I asked him what company he was working for, and he said he was still using the scanner.

I pointed out that he couldn’t be a Regional Nightmare without a state license since only the state can assign territories. He started going on and on about being his own “Monster” (and let me tell you, extra joints DOESN’T make you a Monster, those guys are way more committed) and that he had passed the state exam.

When I told Reginald about my brother calling himself a Regional Nightmare, he was concerned. He works closely with the legal department, and he said that Steve is opening himself up to lawsuits by declaring public slashing grounds as his “territory.” He offered to talk to Steve.

We went over to Mom and Dad’s house together to confront him. Dad didn’t know he was calling himself a Regional Nightmare and he went pale when I told them why we were there. Reginald explained to Steve and Mom that being certified was different than being licensed. Legally, Steve is a Slasher even if he can control shadows now (which is a VERY expensive talent to acquire if you aren’t born with it. I think Mom may have paid for it).

The conversation didn’t go well. Steve said a lot of nasty things about Reginald not hacking it as Slasher and claimed he was just jealous. He picked on Reginald’s health which I had me seeing red. I asked Steve what there was to be jealous of since he still mooches off of our parents? Mom got involved and it went downhill from there.

All this to say that I didn’t expect Steve to show up at my gender reveal party less than 5 months later.

Reginald and I weren’t planning on kids this early, but we knew it was meant to be as soon as I got that pregnancy test back. We decided to put off our wedding so that our baby can be part of the ceremony that makes us a family. That being said, I did still have a lot of things ordered for the wedding so I turned the day into a baby shower/gender reveal instead.

That brings us to the party my lovely brother wrote about. First of all, he wasn’t invited by me. Mom invited him, and when I found out, I wasn’t happy with her, considering he never apologized to Reginald after our last fight.

Reginald was stuck at work (some idiot brought together a whole summer camp of final girls and the aftermath was brutal) so I had to force myself to be a good hostess. It was mostly fine. We have good friends and my older brother was very kind in helping me with some of the baby games we were planning to play when Reginald finally got there.

Steve, however, was NOT helpful.

He was annoying the whole time. He messed with the kitchen and he hounded the guests. I’m PREGNANT and the smell of raw meat triggers my gag reflex. He took the meat off the heat without me noticing and basically prevented me from eating lunch with everyone else.

Additionally, Steve claimed in his post that the party was dying??? Reginald and Dad have a lot of friends in common so the party did NOT die. They were all interested in talking to Dad. Dad’s voice is very quiet and raspy from strain over the years, so everyone was being quiet to hear him better. Steve was the one practically screaming over him to talk about his scummy job. The new Hook Man who succeeded Dad was there and Steve basically treated the poor man like a novice even though he’s a Cryptid.

Reginald finally got home and I could tell he was exhausted when I met him at the door. He still put on a smile for me though and said he didn’t need to miss out even when I told him it would be okay. He wanted to be there in our big moment to celebrate our family. He went upstairs to change.

I went back to the guests to tell them that we would start the games soon. That’s when I heard Reginald scream and fall down the stairs.

I’ll never forget the look on Reginald’s face. He was lying at the base of the stairs and looked like he was dying. He was gasping for breath and clutching at his chest. I was terrified his heart was giving up. I asked Hook Man to call an ambulance.

That’s when Steve started laughing.

I lost it. I screamed at Steve to get out. He told me to calm down, he’d just scared Reginald a little bit as a joke. I told him he knew about Reginald’s heart condition and that it was incredibly disrespectful to scare my fiancé in our own house.

He said he didn’t mean to scare him that bad, but that he was just better at it than he thought. His scares were too powerful. He seemed smug and was still laughing.

I accused him of intentionally hurting Reginald because of the licensing versus certification argument we had. I said he was a bully and an idiot.

Mom jumped in and said it was an accident.

Dad FINALLY said something. He shadow-walked (the first time in YEARS) up the stairs and hooked Steve by the neck. He dragged all twelve feet of him down the stairs and told him to get out.

Steve said, “For what? It’s not my fault that weak-hearted son of a bitch can’t take a joke.”

Dad lost it. He told Steve a REAL scarer wouldn’t use their abilities like that on their own families. He told Mom and Steve it didn’t matter if he meant it as a joke. The fact is he used his scare tactics on a layperson, and he could get blacklisted from the profession for it.

Dad kicked Steve out and told him he wasn’t welcome back into the basement until he got a REAL job. Steve kept arguing, but the paramedics arrived then and I lost track of the rest of it.

I went with Reginald to the hospital where Reginald insisted we both get checked out. The stress wasn’t good for the baby and doctor told me it might be best to go on maternity leave sooner rather than later. Reginald is also going to be taking a leave from work. He had a heart attack because of my brother.

Things could have ended worse, but they didn’t end well. I told my parents that I refuse to have Steve at my wedding or even to see my child after they’re born (and now I STILL don’t know the gender! Only our older brother knows since he got the gender reveal cake).

Mom started to protest, but Dad said he understood. He said that both he and Mom just wanted me to be happy and healthy and that they would take care of Steve.

So now I leave it up to you. Having read both of our posts, who do you think is the real asshole? My brother for being “proud” of scaring my fiancé into a heart attack at our baby’s gender reveal party? Or me for never talking to said brother again for the health of my future family?

AITA?

----

Thanks for reading! If you'd like to support me and/or see these stories a week before I post them here, please check me out on Patreon (X)!

See you next week!

This week's story is based on this (x) prompt from Writing-prompt-s:

You are a person who covers your counter space in clutter and inadvertently makes a shrine to a long forgotten god who shows up to thank you.

[revelboo]

Begging for more soundwave...especially the kink list. We are just little creatures in need of big mech babes XD

Not sure if you meant silent, tentacle cryptid Soundwave or IDW tired, single-dad Soundwave… so here’s both versions 🌶️ 18+ Mass displaced mechs

Soundwave x Reader- Encounters 🌶️

IDW Soundwave x Reader- bad dream

• He can feel the moment your dreams shift and go somewhere dark. Your emotions snarling and crackling over him as he sits up and looks over at you. Face buried against your pillow, you shift in your sleep. Reaching over, he smoothes a palm along your spine, the contact strengthening the connection between you two, but he can’t make any sense of the nightmare, only the visceral fear. Venting softly, he hooks an arm under you and pulls you into his lap.

• Your distress follows you into waking as you fight the arm wrapped around you in blind panic before Soundwave hums at you, holding you as the shaking eases leaving your heart racing. A fact he notes by pressing a servo right over that frantic rhythm. His mask brushes against your cheek and neck as he rumbles against you. “Safe, little one.” Smiling at that low, tonal voice, you lean into him in response.

• “Did I wake you?” Worrying about him to try and hide how shaken you still are? Sliding his palm up to tip your head back against his shoulder, he vents against your skin just to feel your body go taut against him. Knows if he asks you won’t tell him about the nightmare. It’s not the first time and as much as it bothers him, likely won’t be the last. Whatever haunts your rest is something you don’t trust him with yet. He understands even as it doesn’t sit right with him, but he also knows how to banish that fear from your thoughts completely.

• Servos against your throat, keeping your head back against his shoulder so your body is arched, you feel the arm curled around you shift, slide down to cup you. Know exactly what he’s doing, because somehow he knows when that nightmare surfaces and his response since you can’t talk about it is always the same. Distraction. Shuddering as his servos pet you, stroking as you respond for him. Body heating and softening, because this sort of distraction? The kind that makes you feel alive and cherished? You need it right now. “Please,” you murmur, rocking against his servos and with a low growl, he buries one inside you. Curling it to stroke deep.

• You tremble in his grip, hips bucking to demand more. Fucking you with that one servo in slow deliberate strokes until you’re mindlessly whimpering his name. Begging for him. Until he just can’t fight it anymore. That noise you make when he slips his wet servo free so sweet to him. Lifting your hips and guiding himself to you. And that noise when he buries himself fully inside you in one deep stroke? It almost undoes him right there. Shuddering with restraint, he grips your hips to keep you still while he reins himself in, because otherwise you’ll start moving in his lap and it’ll be over far too soon.

• “Soundwave,” you groan, head falling back against him as he keeps you still. Won’t thrust and won’t let you rock against him, tormenting you with that thick spike stretching you. “Please.” Growling against you, he lifts you until he’s almost free of you, shuddering when you grab onto his hands in protest, because you might just die if he does stop now. But then he’s lowering you again, slowly so you can feel every ridge and bump of his spike. Too slow when your body is thrumming and aching.

• It’s almost like drowning in you, the connection between you both one sided as your emotions crash over him and then he’s gripping your hips, moving you faster on his spike as your need fuels his own. Your head thrown back against him, needy sounds getting ragged and louder as he lifts his hips as he pulls you down, the wet sounds of your body taking his fraying the last of his control. Now he’s making noises, growling as he claims you in urgent drives of his hips and chasing after when you tighten on his spike. Burying himself deep and pinning you in place as he releases inside you, hips rocking to stretch it out.

TFP Soundwave x Reader-tease

• Always busy. Always working. You watch his long servos flying over that weird holographic keyboard, his visored face limned in the screen’s glow as line after line of indecipherable alien gibberish scrolls away. And you’re bored as you stare at his spiky back, mind wandering to things you could be doing instead of work. Like him. And that head turns to stare at you, tipping with predatory interest. The weight of that stare making you breathless with anticipation. Because while he can’t read your thoughts exactly as far as you can figure, he definitely can pick up on when your mind goes hurtling in that direction.

• Need and hunger, pull at him in an intoxicating rush as your face reddens because you know he knows. Snaring you with a tendril looped around your middle, he brings you to him and mass shifts. Your emotions crash over him, straining his own control as you cling to that tendril. Protesting with a laugh as he uses his servos to shred the thin coverings you wear. Needing more connection. A second tendril coiling around your upper thigh, curving to run against you and find you already so wet for him.

• Rocking your hips against the tendril to feel it sliding against you, it’s all you can do to bite back a whimper because he’s toying with you. “Mean. So mean,” you groan as the coil around you tightens slowly before easing. The tendril against you slides again in lovely friction but not nearly enough before he’s finally lowering you onto his spike, long servos curling around your hips to pull you down flush and keep you there. It’s for calling him mean. You know it is and his grip is too strong, you can’t move the way you want to. Need to move as you feel that big spike speared inside you, pulsing with his spark.

• So needy and impatient as he savors the feel of that wet, silken heat gripping his spike. Curling an arm around you, he carefully rolls you under him, pressing his visor against your throat as you gasp. Tendrils capture your wrists, pulling those soft hands up and pinning them and those eyes flash at him in annoyance. But if he lets you have any control, it’s over far too soon. You arch under him as he rocks himself against you teasingly before he begins to thrust in earnest. You don’t understand how hard it is to stay in control when he’s inside you, that telepathic link molten with your need. Feeling what you feel.

• Finally, he begins moving, that spike driving deep as he sets a brutal, urgent pace. He lets go of your wrists long enough to snake one tendril under you and hook around your waist, lifting your hips up and the next thrust slides deep, sparking through you. “Right there, please,” you want to push back to meet those thrusts and can’t with his grip, your hips up as he moves faster, harder, every deep stroke of that spike sliding right where you need it. Right there. And you’re coming apart with a cry as he ruts against you, silent except for the wet sounds of his spike pumping inside you and your own ragged cries before he drives deep, hips jerking against you as warmth spreads through you with his release. That visor rubs against your cheek until your eyes open, breathing raggedly and you snort when he offers you a little heart emoji.

[sungmee]

ECCC 2023 OFMD Panel Highlights:

vico showed up in izzy cosplay, they all were very excited at having a room of 3000 people cheering for them

on being asked about becoming sex symbols: "there's nothing sexier than kindness" -rhys

vico talking about how they had no clue on sailing and boat things, saying "starburst" instead of "starboard"

rhys started making sheep noises with a dad joke and then they all just started doing sheep impressions. samba's was basically just a scream

vico standing up and showing off their sword "wait that's a real sword" "how did you get that through weapons check??"

a question about who in the cast probably reads fanfic, they said nathan, paused, then said "i think con reads a lot of fanfiction"; samba gave a shoutout to rizzy

one word for what their character gets up to in s2: vico: serious gooseness (as opposed to silly gooseness) rhys: fantastical samba: let's just say there's more screaming

alex sherman apparently said s1 stede was a puppet becoming a real boy and s2 is stede becoming a man

on what cryptid stede would like best, rhys said "stede would go for the mermaid...or the kraken"

musical episode question, what song their character would sing: vico: tu pirata soy yo samba: let's get it on ("as he's torturing somebody") rhys: rainbow connection

samba: you know, karl dies- rhys: WHAT

rhys: i wish i had stede's hair samba: YOU DO

last question was what the toughest episode was to film samba: spoilers for s2?? moderator: how strong is your NDA? samba: very strong. there's a sniper in the room

then vico said ep 2 was the toughest and rhys said there's more physical stuff happening in s2, he had to workout, and samba got all the BTS

no release date or trailer, but it was a great panel with good questions and thoughtful answers

[counterfeit-cryptid]

I wanted to talk about some of my tma headcanons, ideas???? Or whatever involving my concept 4 jon in writing and art, I want to create

Anyways, let's talk vision!!! I was reading this one fic, and it really gave me some cool ideas for the whole spooky eye powers thing. In much much later chapters he goes to the eye doctors as his vision has increasingly worsened and it is mentioned he has gained a new set of pupils which is pretty cool ngl anyways beside the point the whole ordeal made me think of the possibility of vision loss being a common thing 4 avatars of the eye and all of that

Because if you can see and know all even without it first hand witnessing it or anything, what's the point of needing regular eyes anymore anyways. Like I get the whole "blinding self" to escape from the eye and I'd think that'd still work but I mean loss of vision in the sense of only being able to see thru the eye after a certain state your eyes no longer belonging to yourself but still being a part of you leading to the person constantly viewing their world in an altered state

The altered state being whatever you want!!! Want to make your silly Archivist see several things at once like it's multiple moniters your looking at? Cool very cool, or do you want it more like looking at your own body as it pilots itself thing.

I think you could play it out into a gradual thing to, it starts off with your prescription changing eventually till the point everything is blurry, but everything is so clear in your mind type of ordeal. This could alter entirely how someone thinks too, which would be insane

Imagine not being able to visually see things within your mind, you lose your vision, and suddenly, you see pictures within your mind now that you can with your eyes. However, that may work. I think I'd be absolutely bewildered.

Back to the blinding yourself purposefully, though to escape the eye, I think that'd still work in this sense, but instead of "natural loss of eyesight," bringing physical harm would stop it. Like gouging them out or something as violent as it is. Or just general harm, idk. I'm just simply going from what I've heard passed around as I've not listened to the last 2 seasons yet to actually know/understand if any 1 does something like that to escape the eye.

[your-cryptid-dad]

I can finally access my messages again holy shit it's been months!!!

[leclerc-s]

mastermind - part one

series masterlist // next

MONACO 2024

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton, logansargeant and others

aurorabutton a little pre-monaco grand prix dump featuring father dearest being a menace and saturn being the best boy ever

tagged: jensonbutton

view all comments

fernandoalo_oficial your father has never looked better than he does in that picture

aurorabutton that's what i said but he complained about the horrible photo for an hour fernandoalo_oficial que dramático 😂

user1 aurora what driver are you rooting for this weekend?

aurorabutton the hometown hero of course! logansargeant so fuck me i guess? aurorabutton tell james to stop being a pussy and give you the same upgrades as alex and then we can talk about me rooting for you logansargeant williams admin, she's joking i swear aurorabutton no, i'm not williamsracing 🤨🤨

jensonbutton have kids they said, it'll be great they said, turns out they lied.

aurorabutton i'm a delight to be around father!

user2 saturn, leo, and roscoe meet up when?

user3 the three most spoiled pooches in the world becoming besties would be iconic.

user4 aurora, what do you think about lewis moving to ferrari?

aurorabutton it's about time someone got rid of that fraud at ferrari user5 close enough, welcome back untrained pr charles leclerc aurorabutton that may be the greatest compliment i've ever received

maxverstappen1 do my nights of babysitting you mean nothing? you can't even cheer for me?

aurorabutton YOU WON ALMOST EVERY RACE LAST YEAR EXCEPT FOR 2? STOP WHINING? mickschumacher yeah max, stop whining maxverstappen1 i hate both of you user6 love that she's choosing to ignore singapore. aurorabutton singapore never happened last year?? what are you talking about?? i don't remember that race happening??

user7 poor max catching strays from aurora and mick

aurorabutton poor max cries to marley and me maxverstappen1 shut the fuck up? jensonbutton don't speak to my child that way verstappen maxverstappen1 SHE JUST SENT ME A TEXT CALLING ME AN UGLY RAT? aurorabutton snitch.

natalia_leclerc so this is my fellow 55 hater?

aurorabutton oh my god. it's me! i'm a carlos sainz hater! natalia_leclerc jenson, i'm stealing your child. she's mine now oscarpiastri wow, in a hurry to replace me already? you just got me? jensonbutton please, take her. aurorabutton wow dad. just say you hate me or something

aurora button so who's the kid hanging out with charles leclerc?

mick schumacher kid? what kid?

aurora button the one that looks like a lost puppy?? wearing a bright red shirt?

max verstappen that's literally just ollie?? why??

aurora button why is he wearing bright red shirt?? he does know this is the red bull garage right?? not the ferrari garage?? max verstappen he drives for prema in f2?? why do you care?? aurora button i was just confused?? i was going to accuse him of espionage for sainz

mick schumacher wait a damn minute

mick schumacher YOU KNOW WHAT PREMA SHIRTS LOOK LIKE! YOU USED TO WATCH ME RACE!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT??

aurora button i did?? i don't remember that??

max verstappen now hold on just a fucking minute... aurora middle name button...

aurora button what?? mick schumacher i may be an idiot but i'm an idiot with a girlfriend max verstappen i also have a girlfriend but i'm confused if we're thinking the same thing aurora button you have a mom not a girlfriend. max verstappen STOP CALLING HER THAT! aurora button the entire internet thinks so too...

mick schumacher don't change the subject!!

mick schumacher i know what you are aurora button

aurora button what?

max verstappen enough of this cryptid shit. you like oliver.

aurora button what the fuck? who the fuck is oliver?

mick schumacher deflection.. interesting..

max verstappen OLLIE!! YOU LIKE OLLIE!!

aurora button wow all that from a text asking who the fuck that was?? he could be pulling a spygate??

mick schumacher you're an idiot.

aurora button fuck you guys. i'm never talking to you two again.

max verstappen okay sure. we'll see how long that lasts. i give you two hours.

mick schumacher i give her one

aurorabutton posted new stories

someone clearly ruined his childhood if he's doing this shit as a grown man oh great, it's the american weirdo might be surrounded by weirdos (logan and max) but at least my shoes look cute

lewishamilton replied to your story

lewishamilton be honest, did you force him to do that? aurorabutton i'm flabbergasted you would think that lowly of me lewis lewishamilton i know you aurora. you used to put fish in my drivers room when you were a kid aurorabutton okay fine, i did do that to you, but no i didn't force him to do that. he did that all on his own actually. i don't why. must have something to do with the childhood trauma he has or something.

alex albon replied to your story

alex_albon why is logan like that? aurorabutton i don't know. my theory is that he was dropped on his head as a child alex_albon hmm, that could be it. aurorabutton by the way, is lily available to grab lunch? alex_albon i knew you were going to steal my girlfriend this weekend at least once. aurorabutton oh albono, it'll be more than once

natalia_leclerc replied to your story

natalia_leclerc cute shoes, where'd you get them? aurorabutton excuse me while i go scream... natalia_leclerc i'm sorry?? aurorabutton i literally love you. you're my favorite wag. natalia_leclerc thank you. love you too? aurorabutton holy shit, i can die peacefully.

SPAIN 2024

liked by oscarpiastri, natalia_leclerc, olliebearman and others

aurorabutton españa, i came, i saw, i yelled at (1) annoying spanish man. oh and i met this weird guy in red bull gear who said he drove cars in circles?

tagged: maxverstappen1

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user7 acting as if she didn’t break f1 twitter with her revelation

user8 serving cunt must be a button trait

user9 alternate caption could be: españa, i came, i saw, i exposed (1) annoying spanish man for being in love with his ex-teammates wife and how hard he tried to break them up so she could run to him. oh and here's max verstappen i guess ❤︎ by pierregasly, aurorabutton, alex_albon and others

user9 oh these guys are so messy and i am here for it

maxverstappen1 fuck you too i guess. that's the last time i ever let you crash in my room because all the hotels were booked up and your lazy ass couldn't decide if she wanted to go to the spanish gp or not

user10 damn max no need to expose aurora like that aurorabutton we both know that's a lie maxie taxie user11 did you guys share a bed or something? maxverstappen1 i slept on the couch, i'm not weird like that aurorabutton i've known this nerd since i was kid, kelly can keep him... user11 i can't tell if this is a diss towards kelly or not

jensonbutton i see we're excluding the text message where you told me, 'that ugly spaniard is going to catch these fists.'

fernandoalo_oficial that better not have been about me? aurorabutton i can't believe you would think this way about me fernando? you are the handsome spaniard my father is in love with. jensonbutton as the children say, why am i catching strays? aurorabutton YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ADMITTED ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HIM?? I'M JUST REPEATING WHAT YOU SAID??

user12 she lives for reminding us that she hates carlos sainz

user13 has she ever said why she hates carlos? other than the shady as fuck shit he and his family do? aurorabutton he used to be apart of our nepo-babies group chat, but after we (max, mick, and i) realized he always blamed other people for the shit he did we (i) kicked him out and we haven't spoken since. cut to a year later and all this shit with charles is happening at ferrari. user13 oh. that explains it

oscarpiastri not pictured is her jumping on logan's back and clinging like a koala

aurorabutton good times. 10/10 experience logansargeant it may not be pictured here but boy is it doing rounds on twitter and tiktok

olliebearman the weird guy in red bull gear kicked me out of his drivers room for 'stinking up the place' whatever that means

maxverstappen1 YOU WERE EATING A RAW ONION IN MY ROOM?! olliebearman listen there was 50 pounds on the line. mama didn't raise a bitch verstappen. maxverstappen1 what kind of idiot would bet you 50 pounds for that? paularon_ jeez, i wonder who would do that... maxverstappen1 you're both idiots

AHEAD OF SILVERSTONE 2024

liked by olliebearman, charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and others

aurorabutton the world's biggest carlos sainz haters finally met and in the words of kendrick himself, "it's always been about love and hate. now let me say i'm the biggest hater. " i bet that jobless guy just shit himself seeing this on instagram

tagged: natalia_leclerc, carlossainz55

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jensonbutton is this what the kids call messy?

aurorabutton yes father, this is me being messy jensonbutton i've never been prouder to call you my daughter aurorabutton so fuck my academic achievements i guess jensonbutton you know what i mean

user14 tagging him is a new level of messy

user15 no one knows messy like aurora button. she grew up during peak brocedes civil war, she knows messy the best

user16 SEB LIKED THIS??

user17 of course he did, he's team charles all the way

natalia_leclerc i don't think i've ever had a gossip session quite like ours and i know pierre and esteban

pierregasly we are not that messy estebanocon we ARE that messy

user18 oh that's mother and daughter. i'm sorry jenson, she's no longer your daughter, that's a leclerc now.

user19 jenson button losing his daughter to the leclercs was not on my bingo card but honestly seems about right.

carlossainz55 very mature

aurorabutton oh now you wanna talk maturity? weren't you the one telling the media i was a nepo-baby when EVERYONE knows that move you pulled on charles in spain was stupid? logansargeant maturity is not trying to make a move on your teammate's girlfriend oscarpiastri maturity is knowing to take no for an answer patriciooward maturity is not crying to the media when your teammate races better than you olliebearman maturity is not trying to break up your former teammate and his girlfriend all because you can't take no for an answer. good thing robert doesn't have a girlfriend for you to try to manipulate or steal charles_leclerc can you just shut the fuck up for once in your life? natalia_leclerc what can we say, we really are the biggest haters. go tell that to the spanish media arthur_leclerc this is new levels of embarrassing carlos. bensantos_ruiz go cry to your dad about that user20 the leclerc-ruiz family gagged him

ollie bearman-leclerc betrayal doesn't even begin to cover what i feel

ollie bearman-leclerc mother hates me

ollie bearman-leclerc i've been disowned in the cruelest way

oscar piastri-leclerc what is this guy yapping about now??

logan sargeant-leclerc oh my god he's so dramatic

pato o'ward-leclerc it's okay, we know he gets it from dad

charles leclerc what's wrong ollie?? and fuck you pato

natalia leclerc ollie, what happened? charles, don't speak to our son that way

ollie bearman-leclerc YOU HAPPENED!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!

natalia leclerc me? what did i do??

ollie bearman-leclerc you know what you did pato o'ward-leclerc ollie, i don't think she does that's why she's asking. ollie bearman-leclerc oh

natalia leclerc por dios, igualito a su papa

logan sargeant-leclerc update, i figured out why ollie is salty

natalia leclerc wait, IS THIS ABOUT AURORA?!

oscar piastri-leclerc oh my god. all of this over a girl?

ollie bearman-leclerc SHE'S NOT A GIRL! SHE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! logan sargeant-leclerc you tell jenson that yet?

ollie bearman-leclerc i don't understand why i couldn't be invited to hang out with you two? i feel excluded

charles leclerc to be fair, they didn't invite me either? aurora said it was a 'girl's only day lechair' which is quite rude but okay

ollie bearman-leclerc YOU TALKED TO HER? DIG THE KNIFE IN DEEPER WHY DON'T YOU?

charles leclerc you are so dramatic oliver

ollie bearman-leclerc YOU LEFT YOUR DREAM TEAM BECAUSE YOUR ASS WAS GOING THROUGH A MIDLIFE CRISIS!

charles leclerc MIDLIFE CRISIS?? HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM??

pato o'ward-leclerc at least 69. i have to say, you aged beautifully. logan sargeant-leclerc thought you were at least 38 oscar piastri-leclerc 50??

charles leclerc fuck everyone here but my wife

ollie bearman-leclerc i mean, you have done that, that's why she's pregnant. natalia leclerc OLIVER! logan sargeant-leclerc let him speak 🗣️ oscar piastri-leclerc you're booing him but he's right??

charles leclerc you're all grounded.

pato o'ward-leclerc I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING?? charles leclerc i know your ass laughed patricio pato o'ward-leclerc this is why i am so glad i'm an indycar driver

aurora button max emilian verstappen. who the fuck is the room next to you??

max verstappen charles is? i think? please tell me he's not having sex with natalia again. i've suffered though that enough

aurora button no, but there's screaming?? and i think they're watching bluey? i heard the themesong

mick schumacher you think or you know?

aurora button i don't appreciate the sass schumacher

max verstappen just asked charles, nat and the children are in their hotel room. they are in fact watching bluey

aurora button great, i'm going over. i want to watch bluey and i'm alone.

mick schumacher why are you rooming with max? you could've gotten your own room?

aurora button i tried, but they were all booked up. max's room has two beds, so i'm crashing with him.

mick schumacher oh, so are you going over because you're lonely or because you like ollie?

aurora button i don't like him. he is cute but i don't like him.

max verstappen is this- this is the first time aurora sophia button is admitting she finds someone cute?

mick schumacher your middle name is sophia? aurora button no...

max verstappen you don't know her middle name?

mick schumacher i'm sure i do know it but i always forget it? half the time i think your full name is maximilian and not max emilian aurora button we can only blame jos verstappen for that name max verstappen my mum named me.

aurora button everything is always jos' fault. sophie is an angel.

mick schumacher preach sister

max verstappen both of you can go die

aurora button aww, i'm telling my dad

max verstappen die.

mick schumacher are you two sure you aren't siblings?

aurora button bitch please, i'm way prettier than sid verstappen over there.

max verstappen shut the fuck up barney

mick schumacher i think she's more of a blues clues

aurora button i'm definitely a power ranger you fake bitches

max verstappen no, you're the one little alien in that movie with the boy. the one with the long fingers.

aurora button I AM NOT FUCKING ET YOU BITCH!

mick schumacher oh my god. one day of peace is all i ask for.

ollie bearman-leclerc WHY IS SHE HERE? WHO INVITED HER??

natalia leclerc max is in a meeting and she was alone oliver. be nice.

oscar piastri-leclerc HE'S ACTUALLY STUTTERING?? SOMEONE RECORD THIS SHIT!!

charles leclerc RECORD HIM! I WANT TO SEE THIS!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M MISSING THIS!!

pato o'ward-leclerc RECORD HIM! SEND THE GOODS OVER PIASTRI-LECLERC!

logan sargeant-leclerc HE'S BLUSHING! HE'S REDDER THAN A TOMATO!

natalia leclerc i think it's adorable.

natalia leclerc and he just ran out of the room.

ollie bearman-leclerc all of you are fake, except for mom.

charles leclerc the fuck did i do?

ollie bearman-leclerc YOU ASKED FOR VIDEO PROOF?!

pato o'ward-leclerc ▸ ı|||||||ıı||||ııı||ı

ollie bearman-leclerc IS THAT AN AUDIO OF YOU LAUGHING AT ME??

logan sargeant-leclerc actual tears in my eyes right now. this shit is hilarious

natalia leclerc currently questioning what the fuck is wrong with you boys??

ollie bearman-leclerc they're fucking bullying me. oscar piastri-leclerc it's the least you deserve as the youngest. ollie bearman-leclerc i'm not the youngest, leo is logan sargeant-leclerc we're not going to bully a dog ollie, we're not that cruel

aurora button i'm like 90% sure he hates me?? i never did anything to him and he hates me??

mick schumacher and what gave you that idea baby button??

aurora button he ran out of the room when i got here?

max verstappen charles has been laughing at his phone for 5 minutes. and i'm pretty sure he just played an audio of someone laughing like a maniac.

mick schumacher do you think the leclerc family has a groupchat?

max verstappen i know they do. natalia added us to it and i'm like 95% sure she made a new one after. aurora button AND YOU DIDN'T ADD ME TO IT?! max verstappen you're not even close to being a leclerc mick schumacher yeah aurora, he's charles' mistress

max verstappen maybe if you dated ollie i could add you to the group chat

aurora button oh my god i don't like him!

mick schumacher then why do you care what he thinks?

aurora button i have this thing where i need to be universally liked by everyone

max verstappen what about carlos??

aurora button carlos can go stub his pinky toe on every possible surface he can. aurora button i hope both sides of his pillow are always warm.

mick schumacher why do you have such an intense hatred for carlos?

aurora button the question is why don't you??

max verstappen he called her dad a mid-driver one time in a conversation. he tried to play it off as a joke but aurora's hated him ever since.

aurora button that shit wasn't a joke and at least my dad is a world champion. you don't see me joking about how jos verstappen was a shit driver and max is better now do you?

max verstappen you do that constantly. you tell me that all the time

mick schumacher in her defense, your dad was a shit driver compared to you. like me with my dad aurora button you were stuck with fucking haas, nikita, and gunther. how the fuck were you expected to improve?? max verstappen you were shit because you were with haas. if the car was the way it was this year i'm sure you would do great

mick schumacher you guys are great when you aren't yelling at each other

max verstappen i've become reluctant to the fact that she's never going away.

aurora button he secretly likes me

¡taglist!

@lesliiieeeee @kissesandmartinis @vellicora @blushmimi @scuderiadevils @moofli509 @girlbossnessa @scarletwidow3000 @hopenshaw

¡leclerc-s speaks!

part one to mastermind let's go!! hope you guys enjoy this story. now, ollie bearman is a menace to society, pass it on. yes i did use tweets from karma because they were important to the plot.

¡disclaimer!

this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[hellishgayliath]

Would anyone be interested if I did commissions? I always felt a little intimidated by them which is why I never had set up a sheet for it, or didn't know how to set one up. But it would definitely help me to try and save up money so me and my sis can move out of our dad's house. Idk lemme know.

[faeriekit]

Health and Hybrids (XXIX)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

🖤Chapter navigation can be found here🖤 Click to browse previous updates.

💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts 💚 (now featuring mediocre mouseover translations, only available on a computer)

Where we last left off... Danny can't sleep alone! Wonder Woman gets angry! Batman gets yoinked like a sad cat! Informational breakthroughs are made!

Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Danny is in a different medical room than usual.

There are five white boards.

His hands are shaking.

Danny doesn’t want to talk about what happened to him, but this isn’t talking. It’s just Danny, a bunch of white boards, Diana, a blonde doctor woman he doesn’t know, and that one kid’s stinky cat dad.

Danny draws.

He draws The Box. He doesn’t know how big it was in reality, but he remembers it being cramped, and dark, and hungry. He was always hungry. He draws a granola bar and uses a red marker to strike through it a half-dozen times to really emphasize how much nothing there was to work with.

It feels bad to put a marker-drawn Danny in the box.

Marker-Danny looks scared. He looks sad.

Danny hands that board to the blonde doctor without looking at it.

Danny draws a bunch of gloved hands with scalpels and forceps and beakers and tubes, but to be honest, he was so out of his mind by that point he doesn’t actually remember a lot of it. He remembers being tied down, and he remembers scream—

...But he mostly remembers the visuals of hands in a bright spectator spotlight above, a dozen gleaming instruments poking inside him to see what of him was ecto-based and what wasn’t.

They always acted like Danny didn’t know what he was made of. Danny’s wondered if it was true ever since, and sometimes the thought pulses in his skin like a bad bruise.

There’s almost no detail in that drawing. It's only hands. It's only tools. Danny hands the board off without looking, again.

Danny draws Operative O, with his stupid chin and his stupid suit and his stupid earpiece and his stupid gun. He tries to get all the details from memory, but honestly, who cares if the guy’s lapels look right or whatever. He wipes the G I W initials off the man’s breast pocket before anyone can see the detail, and keeps his little black boots and sunglasses, and…yeah. Pretty much all of their stupid agents look like that.

He adds on a number of skulls and angry faces to that drawing before handing the board over.

He draws the Fenton Ghost Assault Vehicle as he mostly remembers it—and Danny remembers turning on at least some of the equipment as he tried to flee the building, leaving the hard steel shell of the GAV as scuffed and miserable as he’d found it abandoned in that garage but bristling with weapons. His parents are—they’d been so good at cramming weapons into every possible nook and cranny. Whatever engineers the GIW had been able to hire to dismantle it had never had a chance. The thing had been locked onto Fenton DNA, and Fenton DNA alone.

Danny isn’t sure where the GAV is now, but he remembers turning the rockets on. Maybe he’d…maybe he’d landed on the moon…in the Fentonmobile?

He still isn’t super clear on how he’d gotten here, or what of the truck’s defenses he’d gotten up and running on his way out.

But he remembers a clear line of sight down the barrel of Dad’s newest—and last—blaster he’d ever made, the hands on it a stranger's.

Danny remembers his flesh and ecto sizzling as his face bubbled off.

…Danny remembers his first driving lessons in the GAV with Mom in the passenger seat, encouraging him to brake carefully at stop signs if there were police at the corner. They went out for burgers after each driving session, since she knew it would make him happy to have something different for dinner. Danny remembers all the road trips they’d gone on to go visit Aunt Alicia, half-camping in the woods on her property while Dad taught Jazz and Danny how to fish.

He hands off the whiteboard, but he already knows what he wants to use the last one for.

Mom and Dad and Jazz stand around the intact GAV and smile, frozen in a dry-erase marker wave to a Danny that isn’t there.

Danny’s here now. In a chair. In space.

…With strangers.

When Danny doesn’t immediately offer the board to the blonde doctor like she expects, she only takes a picture of it for further discussion.

Danny is very, very careful not to smudge any of his family's faces or their suits or Jazz's dark sweater as Diana wheels him back to his cot in the medical wing.

He misses them.

He doesn’t know if they’re capable of missing him, wherever they are, but he misses them.