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solxamber · 2 months ago

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Signed, Sealed, Bonded || Jade Leech

Being an Esper is hard. Finding a Guide is harder. Somehow, the only one who can handle you is Jade Leech, who is both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to you.

or: Guideverse AU!

Series Masterlist

So, picture this: You wake up, make yourself some coffee, look outside the window… and BAM—a glowing hell portal is vomiting out nightmare creatures like it’s Black Friday at the Underworld’s Walmart.

No big deal. Just another Tuesday.

This is life now. The universe is one big, unstable loot box, and sometimes, instead of daily struggles like taxes or existential dread, you get eldritch horrors trying to redecorate your city with human remains.

And that’s why Espers and Guides exist.

Espers are the special little guys (derogatory) with godlike powers and a tendency to explode if left unattended. They punch things, obliterate monsters, and generally keep civilization from crumbling like a stale cookie.

But Espers have one teeny, tiny problem. A small, insignificant, itsy-bitsy little flaw—

Espers have a fun little self-destruct feature where, if they overuse their powers and aren’t calmed down properly afterward, they go berserk and start turning cities into craters.

Whoops.

That’s where Guides come in—people with the power to keep Espers from self-destructing and turning the planet into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. They are the Espers’ emotional support humans. Their job is to keep Espers stable, sane, and not prone to going Godzilla-mode on a bad day.

Cool system, right? Makes sense? Keeps society from crumbling?

Yeah, except there’s a problem.

The problem is you.

You are the single strongest Esper on the planet. SSS-Class. Top of the charts. The kind of power that makes scientists scream and military generals start sweating through their uniforms. If Espers were trading cards, you’d be the one people would sell their kidneys for.

There’s just one little issue.

You… cannot be guided.

Like, at all.

Every time a top-ranking Guide tries to do their job, your body reacts like you just swallowed a fork.

S-Class Guide tries to guide you? You feel like you’ve swallowed a beehive.

A-Class Guide reaches out? Your skin crawls like you’re being haunted by the ghosts of bad life choices.

Government’s best, most elite SSS Guide gives it a shot? You feel like throwing up and committing a crime, but you can’t decide which one first.

Basically, your Esper powers took one look at every high-ranking Guide and said, “I’d rather die.”

The entire world is losing its shit over this.

The government is stressed. Scientists are conducting emergency research at 3 AM. High-ranking Guides are offended because how dare you reject their very expensive, very prestigious guidance?

Nobody knows why.

Is it a genetic anomaly? A cosmic joke? Are the gods simply looking down at you and laughing? Science is baffled. The government is stressed. At this point, your mere existence is a “can we patch this in the next update?” level of disaster.

You’re a walking nuclear reactor with no off-switch. And people are starting to panic.

And meanwhile, you’re just standing there, the world’s most unstable walking nuke, trying not to sneeze too hard in case you accidentally vaporize a small country.

It’s fine. It’s totally fine.

It’s absolutely not fine.

Because if they don’t find a Guide who can actually handle you soon…

You’re going to go berserk.

And when an SSS-Class Esper goes berserk? Well. You know those fantasy novels where an ancient dragon wakes up and annihilates an entire civilization in one breath? That, but worse.

You had been this close to blacking out.

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. You were an SSS-Class Esper, for crying out loud. You could sneeze and flatten a city block. But that Gate had been a nightmare, and without proper guidance, your body was losing its mind. Your veins felt like molten lava, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and your head was pounding with the kind of stress headache that could legally qualify as an assassination attempt.

So, like any responsible, law-abiding Esper who didn’t want to be put down like an unruly dog, you dragged yourself to the Guidance Center.

The moment you stepped inside, they immediately threw their best Guide at you—a fellow SSS-Class, the crème de la crème, the poster child of the entire system.

“Let’s begin,” they said, voice dripping with confidence, as if you weren’t already suffering. They reached out, their hands warm as they pressed against your skin.

And then.

Oh, God.

It hit you like a truck full of nausea and existential horror. Your stomach flipped so violently you actually gagged. Your muscles screamed in protest, every cell in your body rejecting the touch like a bad Tinder match.

You scrambled backward so fast you almost ate floor.

The SSS-Class Guide stood there, horrifically offended.

"Are you serious?" They demanded, arms crossed like a petulant child. "Again?"

You barely heard them over the sound of your own labored breathing because Wow. That had been unpleasant.

So now you were curled up on the floor of the Guidance Center, shaking from both overexertion and the delightful aftereffects of a guide touch that had made you want to throw yourself into oncoming traffic.

The SSS-Class Guide was still watching you, arms crossed, debating whether they should be more concerned about your wellbeing or their ego.

Which is exactly when Jade Leech walked in.

There was a pause.

Then a slow, deliberate click of polished shoes as he stepped toward you, tilting his head.

“…Are they supposed to look like that?” he mused aloud.

“No,” said the SSS-Class Guide, deeply unamused.

Jade hummed thoughtfully before crouching beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder. It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t hesitant.

And for the first time since your powers awakened, you didn’t want to fling yourself off a building.

Your whole body went limp.

The shaking stopped. The nausea faded.

Your mind, which had been screaming at a constant 200% volume since you turned eighteen and acquired your powers, went quiet.

It was the most blissful thing you had ever felt in your entire life.

The SSS-Class Guide was gaping at you like you had just committed high treason.

"Are you kidding me?" they spluttered. "Him?"

And then, with a huff, they stomped away, absolutely furious that you—the greatest Esper in history, the walking apocalypse—had rejected them but accepted some random nobody.

You, meanwhile, felt clear-headed for the first time in years.

You looked at Jade—at his unreadable expression, at the sharpness of his gaze.

And then you asked, voice hoarse but steady, "What’s your name?"

His lips curled into a polite smile. "Jade Leech."

"And your grade?"

He tilted his head slightly, as if entertained by the question.

“B-Class.”

Silence.

You stared at him.

Then, before you could stop yourself, you started laughing.

Of course this was happening. Of course the universe gave you a Guide you could accidentally kill.

What an absolute joke.

And yet…

You didn’t let go.

Jade Leech was the key to your survival.

Not in the romantic, fated, "I would perish without you, my love," kind of way (you weren't that dramatic, despite what your coworkers said). No, this was purely a matter of self-preservation.

For years, you had been operating like a high-powered, government-issued, barely-functioning time bomb.

Every time you subdued a gate, your body veered dangerously close to going berserk, and the only thing keeping you from breaking reality into tiny, apocalyptic pieces was the occasional half-hearted guidance session that felt about as effective as slapping a band-aid on a leaking nuclear reactor.

It was not ideal.

But now?

Now you had Jade.

Jade, the B-Class Guide who had accidentally waltzed into your life, touched your shoulder, and immediately rewired your entire nervous system.

For the first time since awakening as an Esper, you had felt calm. Like your power wasn’t on the verge of ripping itself apart. Like your own body wasn’t actively rejecting the guidance meant to stabilize you.

And it was incredible.

So, being the responsible and absolutely not impulsive person that you were, you did the only logical thing.

You decided to bribe him with a gift and ask him to temporarily bind himself to you.

Look, it wasn’t permanent.

Permanent bonding was a whole different beast.

If you bonded with Jade permanently, that was it. Game over. No take-backs, no re-dos. No guiding anyone else for the rest of his life.

Espers could still receive guidance from others, sure. But Guides? They could never guide anyone else again.

Which—haha, wow,—that had never caused any problems, ever. Definitely not an entirely predictable storm of jealousy and possessiveness among Guides who suddenly couldn’t tolerate the idea of their Esper ever touching another person.

So, no. You were not going to ask him chain himself to you for eternity. That would be both cruel and incredibly selfish.

But a temporary bond?

A temporary bond would greatly reduce the risk of you accidentally draining him to the point of no return. It would give you the stability to actually push your limits without fear of self-destruction. And most importantly, it would allow both of you to thrive.

It was perfect.

Which was why, two days later, you found yourself standing at the entrance of the Guidance Center once again, clutching a neatly wrapped gift like it was a sacrificial offering.

You marched inside with the confidence of a person who had rehearsed this conversation in their head a thousand times.

And then promptly lost all of that confidence the second Jade turned to face you, smiling like he already knew exactly what you were about to say.

"Back so soon?" he asked, his voice perfectly polite. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

You cleared your throat and forced yourself to act like a normal human being.

“I wanted to thank you,” you said, shoving the box into his hands before you could second-guess yourself. “For the other day.”

Jade’s eyes flickered with something sharp and unreadable as he took the box, his fingers brushing lightly against yours.

Then, before your already struggling brain could catch up to the recklessness of what you were about to do, you pushed forward.

“I also had a proposal for you.”

Jade tilted his head, looking far too entertained.

“I see,” he said. “Do tell.”

You inhaled deeply.

"Would you be interested in forming a temporary bond with me?"

There. You said it.

Now, all you had to do was wait for him to either:

A) Refuse outright because it was too much effort.

B) Agree immediately because having the strongest Esper in existence on a leash would give him unfathomable influence.

What you did not expect was for him to smile.

Not a normal smile. Not a polite, professional, "oh wow, what a fascinating suggestion," kind of smile.

No.

This was something else.

A slow, deliberate, sharp-edged thing.

Jade stepped closer, gaze glinting with quiet amusement.

"And what," he murmured, voice too smooth, too knowing, "would you be willing to offer me in return?"

You blinked.

Oh.

Oh, you might be in deep shit.

It had been weeks.

Weeks of asking Jade to temporarily bind himself to you. Weeks of bargaining, negotiating, and trying to convince him that this wasn’t some tragic, toxic love story where the frail Guide got used up like an expired battery. Weeks of him smiling at you like you were a particularly amusing lab rat scrambling against the walls of a maze.

And yet.

Despite all of that—he still guided you.

He still stepped in when your brain felt like it was melting from the inside out, still pressed a steady hand against your skin like it was the easiest thing in the world, still whispered, “Don’t fight it. Just relax.”

Which was a very funny thing to say to someone who could literally kill you by accident.

And that was the problem.

Because he wasn’t bound to you.

Which meant that if you drained him too much—if you accidentally pushed him past his limits—there would be no failsafe.

And if that happened—if you were even a fraction too reckless—

He would die.

And you would go to jail.

And, even worse, you would probably cry.

So, obviously, the rational thing to do was to pull away whenever you felt like you were taking too much.

Which brings you to now.

Jade had been guiding you for forty-five minutes.

FORTY-FIVE. MINUTES.

An ungodly amount of time. A suicidal amount of time.

You could already see the signs of fatigue in him. His touch had grown warmer, heavier, his breaths had slowed into something almost too steady.

He was getting tired.

Which meant it was time to get the hell out of here before you became a murderer.

You twisted, trying to sit up, and—like the absolute menace he was—Jade simply… swung his legs over yours, caging you beneath him like some deranged, smug, lanky cryptid that refused to let you escape.

You froze.

He smiled.

That sharp, infuriating, absolutely unhinged smile.

"Now, now," he murmured, voice sickeningly patient, "where do you think you're going?"

You stared at him in horror.

"You've been guiding me for almost an hour," you hissed, your muscles tense with the effort of not launching him across the room. "I refuse to let you die because you’re too stubborn to let me leave."

Jade tilted his head, considering.

"Hm."

You blinked.

"Hm"???

You had just laid out the possibility of a tragic demise and all he had to say was ‘hm’???

"What the hell does that mean?" you demanded.

Jade leaned in slightly, pressing his fingers against your neck, his touch featherlight.

"I wonder," he mused, eyes glinting with something that looked too much like amusement, "do you think perhaps you are underestimating me?"

"Underestimating you?" You nearly choked on your own disbelief. "Jade, you are a B-Class Guide. I could literally snap you in half like a goddamn glow stick."

"And yet," he said smoothly, "I am still here."

Your eye twitched.

"That is not the flex you think it is—"

"Shhh," he murmured, pressing his fingers against your temple. "Relax. Just a little longer."

You wanted to argue. You really, really did.

But the second his touch deepened the guiding, your entire body sagged under the weight of exhaustion.

You hated how much you trusted it.

You hated that, in the end, you let him win.

Because as much as you wanted to fight him, as much as you wanted to break free and flee the room—

You needed this.

And he knew it.

Which was why he was smiling so much.

The absolute menace.

Today, you did something very dangerous.

No, not fighting another Gate. Not risking your life for the safety of others. Not even getting guided by a man who was one unfortunate sneeze away from becoming a tragic obituary.

No, you did something far worse.

You asked Jade Leech what he wanted in return for keeping you alive.

It was a reasonable question! A necessary question! Because at this point, the man was essentially your life support, and it felt a little irresponsible to just assume he’d be happy with some gift baskets and heartfelt thank-you notes. If you were going to keep depending on him, you needed to know what he wanted.

So you asked.

And the menace smiled.

Which immediately sent your self-preservation instincts screaming.

That was never a good sign. Jade’s smiles were like sharks in shallow water—unsettling, unnatural, and a clear warning that something was about to go very, very wrong.

You braced yourself.

And then he said:

"A nature trail."

You stared at him.

And blinked.

And then stared at him some more.

Because surely you had misheard him.

“A nature trail,” you repeated slowly, because there was no possible way that was all he wanted. You had prepared for blackmail. You had budgeted for bribes. Hell, you had been willing to break the bank if it meant keeping him around (not to brag, but the government paid you stupidly well for constantly risking your life). And yet, out of all the possible insane, ominous, power-hungry demands he could’ve made—

He was asking for a casual stroll through the wilderness?

Jade nodded, the picture of serenity. “Yes.”

"That’s it?" You squinted at him, like maybe if you looked hard enough, you’d find some hidden, sinister agenda buried in his expression. "That's all you want? Not money? Not status? Not, I don’t know, government secrets?"

Jade’s lips twitched, his amusement almost palpable. “For now.”

For now.

For now???

You triple checked that he was being serious, eyed him with the kind of deep, unblinking suspicion normally reserved for politicians and people who ate their cereal without milk, but all he did was nod serenely.

And so, finally, reluctantly, completely aware that you were probably walking into some elaborate trap—

You sighed and muttered, "Sure. What the hell."

It was almost alarming how much fun you were having.

For once, you weren’t dealing with the constant, soul-crushing sensation of your own mind and body trying to rip each other apart like two rabid raccoons fighting over a single McDonald’s fry.

For once, you could just exist without the underlying fear of accidentally exploding something—or someone—if you weren’t careful.

And as it turned out, existing was kind of nice.

You took the time to smell the flowers (literally, because Jade had shoved one under your nose and said, “Tell me, do you also detect the faintest hint of decay?” which was an incredibly alarming sentence but a nice flower).

You watched as little woodland creatures scampered through the underbrush, entirely unbothered by the fact that an SSS-Class Esper and a B-Class Guide were just casually strolling through their home like a scenic couple in a nature documentary. And honestly?

It was peaceful. Disturbingly peaceful.

But the real sight—the real discovery—was Jade himself.

You had never seen him like this before. Completely in his element. He had dumped the entirety of your picnic basket into your arms without hesitation and was now roaming freely, examining plants with the intense curiosity of a man who had just found Atlantis.

Every few minutes, he’d pause and rattle off some absurdly specific nature fact at you, like, “This particular plant releases a toxin that causes temporary blindness if ingested. Isn’t that fascinating?” or “Did you know that otters sometimes use tools to crack open shellfish? Much like humans, they have a preference for certain objects. Some even carry the same rock with them for years.”

You had absolutely no idea why you found this so entertaining.

Maybe it was the way he spoke, all smooth enthusiasm and quiet amusement. Maybe it was the way he moved, effortless, unhurried, utterly unbothered by anything except whatever flora had captured his attention next. Or maybe—God help you—it was just him.

Not that you’d ever admit that. You’d rather eat your own boots.

Still, you couldn’t help but watch as he suddenly stilled. His gaze snapped toward something in the distance, eyes gleaming with open delight, and you knew—instinctively, immediately—that something was about to go down.

And sure enough—

"Ah."

That single, quiet syllable was so ominous you had to physically fight the urge to take a step back.

Then, Jade turned toward you, expression eerily composed despite the unmistakable excitement in his gaze, and said, “Do you see that mushroom?”

You followed his gaze toward the completely ordinary-looking tree. And then you squinted.

There, just barely within sight, was a mushroom.

A mushroom that looked like every other goddamn mushroom you had passed on this trip.

And yet.

Based on the way Jade’s entire soul had just left his body in pure, unfiltered joy, you could only assume it was some rare, once-in-a-lifetime god of the fungi.

You watched as he immediately took his phone out, snapping so many pictures you were half convinced he was going to submit them to a mushroom appreciation forum.

Then he paused.

And the exhilaration on his face dimmed—just slightly.

Because, unfortunately for him, the mushroom in question was just barely out of reach.

And you—a fool, an absolute clown, an irredeemable dumbass—

Put your bags down.

Walked up to him.

And lifted him up.

For a single, terrifying moment, there was silence.

Jade froze. His hands hovered in midair, like even he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.

Then, slowly, he reached forward.

Plucked the mushroom from its resting place.

And you—practically sweating bullets at the realization of what you had just done without even thinking about it—lowered him back onto solid ground.

The first thing he did was examine the sample like it was the most precious object in the entire world. The second thing he did was glance up at you—not with his usual smug amusement, not with teasing mirth, but something else entirely.

A slow, quiet smile.

Warm. Gentle. Uncharacteristically soft.

And that was the exact moment you thought, “Fuck my life, I’m doomed.”

Without another word, you picked your bags back up and followed him to the next area.

The Gate had been particularly easy to suppress today—by which you meant no spontaneous explosions, no sudden existential dread, and, most importantly, no feeling like your brain had been wrung out like a wet dishcloth. All in all, a successful day.

So when you spotted Jade afterward, you figured you wouldn’t need much from him. A little guidance, maybe. Some grounding. Nothing too serious.

What you did not expect, however, was to immediately slump against him like a Victorian maiden succumbing to the vapors.

At first, Jade visibly tensed. His muscles coiled, and he took a sharp breath—like he had genuinely thought you had just dropped dead in his arms.

But then he glanced down.

And instead of finding you on the verge of unconsciousness due to Esper-induced burnout, he found you…completely at peace.

Relaxed.

Asleep.

And oh.

Oh, this was interesting.

Jade stilled, the way a hunter does when something rare and unexpected steps into their sights. His lips quirked, amusement flickering across his face as he tilted his head, watching you with the same fascination he reserved for poisonous plants and particularly lively prey.

You had just…collapsed. Right into his arms.

Voluntarily.

Slowly—very slowly, like he was testing the weight of a particularly fragile glass sculpture—he adjusted his stance, shifting just enough so you could lean more comfortably against him.

And when you made a soft, barely audible sigh of contentment—an actual sigh of contentment—he almost laughed.

Jade glanced around, taking in the others in the vicinity. There were still a few agents packing up equipment, cataloging monster remains, finishing the usual post-Gate cleanup. No one seemed to be paying particular attention to your current predicament.

He debated waking you.

For about half a second.

Then, instead of nudging you upright, instead of rousing you from your accidental nap, he merely settled in more comfortably, adjusted his grip, and decided:

"A little while more wouldn’t hurt."

The first time you met Floyd Leech was…an experience.

Not in the way people say, “Oh, yeah, skydiving was an experience!” or “That seafood buffet really did a number on my stomach, what an experience!” No. This was more of a “I just survived a category five hurricane with nothing but a pool noodle and sheer willpower” kind of experience.

You knew Jade's twin was an Esper, and you'd heard the rumors about Floyd’s personality. Some people said he was unpredictable, others called him a walking natural disaster with an attention span that could either last three seconds or three months. B Rank Esper Floyd Leech, SSS Rank Menace.

And then, by sheer misfortune (or fate, depending on whose side you were on), you both ended up suppressing the same Gate.

Hearing him laugh as he shredded a monster like it was nothing but a chew toy was unsettling even for you. You had seen horrors beyond human comprehension, had fought creatures made of shadows and teeth, had experienced the kind of pain that would make a lesser being crumble—and yet.

Yet.

The way Floyd’s eyes locked onto you in the middle of the battlefield, the way his grin stretched wider, wider, as if he had just found a new favorite thing to play with—your instincts screamed at you. Your fight-or-flight response hit so hard you almost accidentally activated your Esper abilities on pure reflex.

(And the worst part? You were technically stronger than him. That did not make you feel any safer.)

Then, as if to truly cement his status as an absolute enigma, he took one look at you, tilted his head, and said:

"Ooooh~! A shrimpy!"

A shrimpy.

He just…he called you shrimpy.

And the worst part? It was kind of funny. Actually, it was lowkey adorable.

So you just. Didn’t stop him.

Which he took as an invitation, apparently, because the next thing you knew, he was slapping an arm around your shoulders like you were old friends. And with zero hesitation, he dragged you along as you both exited the Gate, whistling a happy little tune as if he hadn’t just been reveling in combat two minutes ago.

You barely had time to process what had just happened before you saw Jade.

Jade’s gaze looked…sharper.

It wasn’t obvious—he was still smiling, still polite, still the ever-composed Guide who had saved your ass on multiple occasions—but there was a distinct flicker of something behind his eyes as he looked at Floyd practically draping himself over you.

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t frown. Didn’t tell Floyd off.

He simply stepped forward, placed a hand on your shoulder, and gently pulled you away.

And just like that, the weight of Floyd’s arm disappeared, replaced by the steadier, more deliberate touch of his twin.

And Floyd?

Floyd just looked between the two of you.

Then, he grinned.

Then, he laughed.

And then, with all the enthusiasm of a man about to cause absolute chaos, he threw his head back and cackled.

"Ooooh, Azul is gonna LOVE this~!"

And before you could even begin to ask what the hell that meant, he waved and walked off toward a Guide—one who was probably prepared to deal with his absolute insanity.

You barely had time to recover before Jade gestured for you to sit.

Guidance was nothing new at this point. Usually, he just held your hand, grounded you with a touch, let his presence stabilize your energy until you were back to normal.

But today.

Today, he touched your foreheads together.

Your breath caught.

His hand was light against your jaw, but firm enough to keep you still. His forehead pressed against yours, close enough that you could feel his breath ghosting against your lips.

Your eyes fluttered shut on pure reflex, your fists clenching as if that would somehow stop the sudden, ridiculous way your pulse spiked.

This was fine.

Your mind was clear. Your energy was balanced. You were not thinking about his breath on your lips.

You absolutely, one hundred percent, were not thinking about how his voice, so soft, so deceptively gentle, murmured:

"Breathe."

You were so, so doomed.

The Gate had been massive—one of the worst ones in years.

It had opened with no warning, no telltale energy fluctuations, nothing. By the time the first responders had arrived, the battlefield was already drenched in blood.

A-class Espers, gone.

S-class Espers, gone.

By the time you had been thrown into the fray, the situation had spiraled so far out of control that your arrival felt less like a strategic decision and more like a last-ditch gamble.

Eight hours.

Eight hours of relentless combat.

Wave after wave, monster after monster, every time you cut one down, another two would replace it.

You had fought until your muscles felt like molten lead, until your vision blurred at the edges, until the very air around you burned with overuse of your own power—until the Gate finally stabilized just enough for you to close it.

And then, you stumbled out.

And everything hurt.

Everything was too much.

The sound of voices, the shifting of energy, the distant cries of the wounded—it all crashed into you like a tidal wave, scraping against your raw, frayed nerves. You were this close to losing control, to snapping under the pressure, to letting your Esper abilities swallow you whole.

But Jade wasn’t here.

Jade, your Guide, the one person who knew how to handle you when you reached your breaking point—wasn’t here.

Apparently, no one had informed him of your involvement in the battle. He was still on his way.

Which meant you were falling apart, and there was no one to catch you.

And so, the SSS-ranked Guide on standby stepped in.

The moment their hands touched you, you recoiled. Their presence was too much, too invasive, too overbearing, like someone trying to force a puzzle piece where it didn’t belong.

But you didn’t have a choice.

Their energy pressed against yours, crushing down, shoving your frayed emotions back into place like jamming a lid onto a boiling pot.

You wanted to throw up.

Your entire body screamed wrong, wrong, wrong.

But if you pushed them away, if you lost control, if you went berserk right here in the aftermath of this bloodbath—people would die.

So you clung to them, shaking, white-knuckled, letting them guide you as best as they could.

And you hoped—prayed—that Jade would get here soon.

When Jade first stabilized you, he had thought of you as entertainment.

It was hilarious, really. The strongest Esper to ever exist, the one the government practically worshiped, the one whose very presence made monsters hesitate—completely helpless without him.

Oh, you could fight. You could tear through Gates like they were made of paper, you could reduce monsters to mist and regrets, but the moment it was over? The moment your power turned inward and tried to rip you apart? Only he could fix it.

Jade had never considered himself sentimental, and certainly not possessive. People were people. They came, they went, they lived, they died. He had met more than a few Espers in his life, had guided his fair share, and yet—none of them had ever needed him. Not the way you did.

And the best part? You were terrified of hurting him.

Absolutely adorable.

Your desperation to keep him safe was comedy gold. You were an SSS-rank nightmare, strong enough to turn city blocks into craters, and yet, the moment he touched you, you flinched like you might break him. You barely let him guide you for more than a few minutes, always watching him like he was made of glass, like he might shatter if you took too much.

Jade had never been one for attachment, so he simply dodged all your attempts at even a temporary bond. What was the point? He liked the little game you two had going on. You kept asking, kept trying to tie him down, and he kept laughing and evading, watching you get more and more frustrated. Too much fun to stop now.

Even when he invited you to the nature trail, it had been on a whim. A little curiosity, a little test. He expected you to sulk in the corner, maybe grumble under your breath about how boring it was, or sigh dramatically like you were suffering for his sake.

Instead, you had participated.

You had followed him through the trees, asked questions, even leaned in close to examine the plants he showed you. And when he couldn’t reach a mushroom, you had—without hesitation, without even thinking—simply lifted him up.

Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

That had been the moment something inside him had shifted.

Jade wasn’t sure he liked it.

It was unfamiliar, uncomfortable. Unsettling. A quiet sort of tug, deep in his chest, something that made him pause when he looked at you.

Before, it had been easy to laugh off questions.

"Jade, what’s the deal with you and them?" someone would ask, and he would smirk, deflect, change the subject.

Now?

Now, when people asked, he had to bite back the urge to say, “They’re mine.”

So when he heard about the Gate—eight hours, a battle, an ambush that had already killed dozens before you were called in—

He didn’t hesitate.

He had barely taken the time to grab Floyd, all but shoving him into the driver’s seat. "Drive."

Floyd, ever delighted by drama, had driven like a man possessed. Jade wasn’t entirely sure how they weren’t in a burning wreck by the time they arrived, but at least they got there fast.

And when he stepped onto the battlefield, pushing past medics, ignoring protocol—he saw you.

Sick. Wounded. Barely standing.

In the arms of someone else.

His stomach turned.

Jade had never experienced jealousy before, not in any real way. He was too patient, too controlled, too much of a sadist to truly be envious of anything. But seeing you there, shaking and exhausted, clinging to someone who wasn’t him—

Something ugly coiled in his chest.

For the first time in his life, Jade Leech felt like throwing up.

The moment you saw Jade, it was over for the poor, unfortunate soul currently keeping you upright.

You shoved the deeply offended Guide off you like they were an inconvenience, a minor roadblock between you and salvation. You could apologize later. Right now, your legs were giving out, your head was spinning, and the only thing you knew for certain was that you needed him.

Jade barely had time to react before you reached for him, stumbling forward, barely coherent, barely standing.

And he ran to you.

Jade Leech—calm, composed, unshakable Jade—ran.

You collapsed against him the second he was close enough, clutching him like a man stranded in the desert clutching the first drop of rain. His touch was the only thing keeping you tethered to reality, the only thing that made the burning, suffocating feeling inside you ease just a little.

“Thank you,” you gasped, fingers twisting in the fabric of his uniform, voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for coming.”

Jade stiffened.

You barely registered it. You were too far gone, too exhausted, too feverish. But if you had been paying attention, you would have seen something rare, something almost unheard of—

Jade Leech looking completely and utterly shocked.

Like he hadn’t expected you to say that. Like he hadn’t expected you to look at him like he was something worth holding onto.

And then, because you were nothing if not a disaster, you giggled—actually giggled, delirious and exhausted and overwhelmed by relief.

“Your face…” you murmured, the edges of your vision darkening. “You look so—”

And then you went completely limp in his arms.

Jade was not panicking.

No, truly, he wasn’t. Panic was an unbecoming emotion, a pointless thing that only clouded one’s judgment. It was inefficient. Wasteful. Jade Leech did not panic.

So when you went completely limp in his arms, when your body sagged against him like a puppet with its strings cut, he did not panic.

He simply—assessed the situation.

He shook you gently, then not-so-gently, but you were completely unresponsive, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps. His hands slid over your back, fingers pressing against the pulse points in your wrists, your neck—too fast, too unsteady, too weak.

He tried guiding you, pushing that familiar, stabilizing force into you, but it was like pouring water into a cup that had already shattered—it wasn’t enough.

You needed something more.

Jade hesitated.

For the first time in years, he hesitated.

And then, before he could think better of it, before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned in and kissed you.

It was not soft, nor was it gentle. This was not a kiss meant to be romantic, nor was it something he had ever done before. But kissing—intimate, overwhelming, all-encompassing kissing—had long been known as one of the most effective ways for a Guide to stabilize an Esper.

And Jade had never needed to put in this much effort before.

Your lips were warm beneath his, feverish and trembling. He could feel it the second it worked—your grip on him tightened, fingers twisting in his coat as you gasped against his mouth. A shudder ran through your body as you pulled him closer, kissed him back.

Jade felt something snap.

It was an ugly thing, this feeling in his chest. Sharp-edged and burning. He didn’t know if he was kissing you to help you, to save you—

Or if he was kissing you because he wanted to.

But then—oh, then—his lips curled against yours as a slow, unbearable sense of triumph unfurled inside him. Because you weren’t just kissing him back.

You were kissing him back in front of everyone.

In front of all the other Guides who had spent years chasing after you, aching for the chance to stabilize you, to prove themselves worthy of being your match.

And yet, it was his arms you had collapsed into. His touch that had soothed you. His lips you were parting for, grasping at like he was the only thing keeping you from slipping into the abyss.

Jade had spent months dodging your attempts at forming a temporary bond, laughing as you fumbled for something more than what he was willing to give.

Now, you were clinging to him.

And wasn’t that just the most delicious thing?

Waking up to someone kissing you was new.

Waking up to Jade kissing you, though? That was absolutely not on your bingo card.

Your mind, sluggish from the near-death experience of the century, took a moment to catch up. There was warmth against your lips—soft, careful, lingering. A hand at the back of your neck, cool fingers threading through your hair. The faint scent of damp earth and saltwater, familiar, grounding.

And then, your body caught up with your brain and realized oh, holy shit, that’s Jade.

A normal person would pull away, maybe demand an explanation. Possibly scream.

You?

You wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

Jade let out a noise—half a laugh, half a surprised hum—but he didn’t stop you. If anything, he melted into you, his lips curling into a smile against yours. His hand tightened at your nape, fingers splaying against your back, and when you deepened the kiss, he sighed into your mouth like he had been waiting for you to do it.

That was almost enough to send you straight into cardiac arrest.

When you finally pulled away, you were fully awake, body thrumming with energy. Not just from the guiding—though, yeah, that was part of it—but from the undeniable, inescapable fact that Jade Leech had just kissed you. That you had kissed him back.

Jade didn’t move far. If anything, he leaned in closer, forehead brushing against yours, his breath still warm on your lips. His gaze flickered across your face, taking in the flush burning its way up your cheeks, the way you were still holding onto him like you’d fall apart if you let go.

You wanted to say something, maybe tease him, maybe demand an explanation, but words weren’t exactly functioning right now. You could barely think beyond holy shit that was the best kiss of my life.

Jade, for once, wasn’t smug.

Or, no. He was trying to be. He had the smirk, the casual tone, the playful tilt of his head. But his fingers twitched against your back, his grip just a little too tight. And when he finally spoke, his voice was a fraction softer than usual, a little too careful.

"Would you," he said, "perhaps, be interested in permanently bonding with me?"

You blinked.

Jade Leech. Jade Leech. The same Jade who had dodged every attempt you made at even a temporary bond, who found it hilarious that only he could stabilize you, who treated your guiding sessions like some kind of ongoing game.

That Jade had just asked if you wanted to bond.

Permanently.

Your heart stuttered. His hand was trembling.

He swallowed, like he was waiting for you to say no.

You didn't answer. Not with words, anyway. Instead, you grabbed him by the collar and kissed him again.

Jade made a startled sound before melting into you completely, his arms locking around you like he had no plans of letting go. His lips curled into another smile against yours—this time, not smug, but genuine.

Like he had won.

You had asked him eighteen times.

Eighteen.

And, frankly, Jade was getting impatient.

The first time, it had been endearing. You had looked at him with wide, wary eyes, like you thought this was some elaborate joke. You had stammered out a, "You—You're sure? Like, actually sure?" and Jade, who was in a good mood, had simply hummed and said yes.

The second time, it had been amusing. You had grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him aside, and, in a whisper like you were plotting treason, said, "Look, I won’t be mad if you back out. You know that, right? Like, this is a huge deal, and if this was just, y’know, heat of the moment, that’s totally okay. No hard feelings."

The third, fourth, fifth, and so on?

Infuriating.

Jade could not, for the life of him, figure out how to convince you that he meant what he said. Yes, he wanted to bond. Yes, permanently. No, he had not lost his mind.

And yet, here you were, pacing across his living room, your arms crossed, rambling for the nineteenth time about how he still had a choice, how you wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t want to go through with it, how he wouldn’t be able to guide anyone else ever again if he bonded to you, how that might be too much to give up.

Jade, stretched out on the couch, chin propped against his palm, sighed.

He had enough patience to last centuries.

But this?

This was getting ridiculous.

"—and I'm just saying," you continued, voice a little frantic, "I've seen Guides get really resentful about it. You could go from stabilizing a hundred people to just me. And you know how bad I get, how it hurts, and I'm not saying you can't handle it, but, like, are you sure? Like, really sure? Because—"

Jade leaned forward, grabbed your collar, and kissed you.

You stumbled, caught off guard, and his lips curled when he felt you tense up before relaxing completely. He kissed you slow, deliberate, like he was trying to make you feel the answer you had refused to believe.

And when he finally pulled away, he let his teeth graze your bottom lip just slightly, smirking when he felt you shiver.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked, voice smooth, teasing.

You opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water.

Jade’s smirk widened.

"You're overthinking it," he said, reaching out, gripping your wrist, tugging you closer. "There’s no one who could entertain me quite like you do, you know? Maybe it’s time for a career change. I’ll be your Guide, and yours alone."

Something inside you lurched.

Something possessive.

Jade, yours.

Only yours.

His gaze flickered to your lips. Amused. Challenging.

"So?" he said, voice mocking light, but his fingers tightened around your wrist, his pulse beating just a little too fast. "Are we doing this or not?"

Your breath hitched.

And then, you grabbed him by his collar, yanked him down, and kissed him again.

This time, you bit his lip.

Jade laughed into your mouth—pleased, triumphant—before pulling you against him and kissing you so deeply you felt it in your bones.

And just like that, the bond clicked into place.

Waking up with Jade curled against you was a rare privilege.

For one, he was a light sleeper. Most of the time, you barely shifted and he’d already be watching you like some creepy forest cryptid. But today, he must’ve been exhausted from the bonding because he was still tucked against you, his breathing slow and utterly unguarded.

It was… nice.

Nice enough that you felt unreasonably smug about it.

You shifted just a little, tightening your hold around him, and he hummed in contentment, pressing closer without fully waking up. Unfair. How was this the same Jade who deliberately guided you half the time by whispering things against your lips just to make you flustered?

You could get used to this.

And then it hit you.

You’d bonded. Permanently.

But you had never actually asked him to be yours.

As in, romantically.

Your eyes snapped open. Oh. Oh, you had fumbled.

You knew Jade had agreed to the bond, obviously, but—was he in love with you? Did he see this as just a Guide-Esper partnership? Did you just lock yourself into a lifelong working relationship like some corporate contract??

He slowly stirred and just as he blinked at you, before you could think better of it, you blurted out, "What are we?"

Jade went still.

Like, completely, horrifyingly motionless.

You felt him exhale sharply, his hand twitching against your side, as if physically restraining himself.

For a long moment, he said nothing.

Then, finally, slowly, he pulled back just enough to look at you, and the expression on his face was somewhere between fondness, disbelief, and the soul-crushing realization that he was in love with a complete idiot.

"...Are you serious?" he asked, his voice painfully even.

You hesitated. "...Yes?"

Jade closed his eyes.

He inhaled.

He exhaled.

He inhaled again.

Then, finally, he muttered, "God give me strength."

You frowned. "Look, I’m just saying, you never actually—"

"Do you think I would bond with you permanently if I wasn't in love with you?" he asked, voice slower, more deliberate, as if carefully handling a very stupid but very precious object.

You blinked.

Paused.

And then you felt heat creep up your neck.

"...Oh," you said, a little dumbly.

Jade sighed.

But before he could say anything else, you reached out and pulled him back into your chest.

You hid your face against his hair.

"...Love you too," you mumbled, voice muffled, but he could hear the smile in it.

Jade, after a long beat of silence, finally let out a breathless laugh.

And as you held him close, warm and undeniably happy, he thought, Yup. They’re my dumbass.

Masterlist

#twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #jade leech x reader #jade x reader #jade leech x you #jade leech #twst jade #jade #guideverse #guideverse x reader

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megaderping · 9 months ago

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Persona 5 fandom, I beg of you, please stop with the casual (and likely very unintentional) ableism. This is less about one specific person and an overall trend I see whenever people post bad takes on Akechi. Going "Akechi is a murderous psychopath" is harmful because it spreads an unfair stigma about psychopathy and mental illness in general as this "crazy" and violent thing, which has been normalized for far too long. And also, it's just not true. Anyone who thinks Akechi is this "remorseless psycho" (keeping in mind this use of the term isn't great) simply does not have more than a surface level reading of the character. His missable November texts make it abundantly clear that he is not happy with what he's doing under Shido. Which, granted, HIGHLY missable text. You have to basically delay Sae's Palace and not go in at all until mid-November. Engine room, 12/24, multiple times in third sem... his remorse is there, it's just subtle or not presented as shaking and crying and begging for forgiveness, because he's a guarded mess of a person (with deep psychological scars, make no mistake- this is not a healthy kid). But even without those texts, there are plenty of times where these feelings are conveyed. His sad reaction when Morgana explains changes of heart (if he had known sooner), his regrets in the engine room and lamentations about Joker's freedom, and I basically did a whole meta post breaking down the important visual and spoken symbolism to Akechi's character that gets boiled down to "hehehe crazy murder boy". Hate or dislike him? Cool, sure, but the normalization in fandom communities of just throwing around mental illness related terms in a derogatory fashion... really isn't good? Like even if Akechi was literally a psychopath or sociopath or had npd or other specific mental illnesses, that doesn't inherently make him evil, nor does it erase his victimhood, which is so integral to his role in the story.

He killed people, yes. That's not really up for debate, and yes he gets feral and over the top in third sem... but that's just over the top edgelord behavior directed at Shadows and focusing only on that ignores everything else he says and does in third sem, yet it happens so much (even though other Phantom Thieves, like Haru, have fun fighting Shadows too). Are we just gonna ignore all the times he's cool, collected, and reasonable in third sem to throw around this antiquated and hurtful idea of what the word "psychopath" means? ._. Just... blarg. I've made many Akechi rambles/rants, but the normalization of ableism surrounding him is not great? I think it's mostly down to ignorance and lack of media literacy, but yeah. Plus it's kinda fucked up how little weight is placed on Shido for teaching him how to do shutdowns (his own admission), the fact that the moment Akechi revealed himself to Shido, he was screwed, because this is a man who took a bump on the head as a reason to ruin Joker's life.

Idk. I think it's not just a P5 fandom trend, even, because it's so normalized the same way people think OCD is this funny quirky mental condition because of shows like Monk when it's an actual disability that can deeply affect people in horrible ways... Mental health awareness is good is all I'm saying.

#discourse #goro akechi #persona 5 #dorkvents #persona 5 royal #cw: ableism

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whatyadrawin · 1 year ago

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The Fruit After The Flesh 18+ -Chapter 3-

Minors DNI!

Masterlist

Approximately 2,682 words

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt(HeadCanon) x AFAB reader

This chapters Warnings: Strong language, use of derogatory terms, sexually suggestive language.

A/n: Two drawings took me so long, I feel very pathetic and unproductive but I am so happy to get the ball rolling. I can't wait to illustrate and submit chapter 4 because oooooh lord Tommy boy gon look good in it. I am also so excited to get writing the next few chapters, I have the fire in me and I don't want it to go out until I get a bunch of writing done lol. Please check the masterlist linked above for updates on progress.

Tag list: @fan-goddess

Chapter 3

The day begins with the sounds of birds happily chirping in the tree shading your backyard; a gentle breeze is washing over the land, cooling the heat away from the ground. You feel good today and decide it’s time for a cute yet practical outfit, so you grab some jean shorts, and a bright yellow tank top with a reliable pair of boots, you were ready to get things done. After eating some oatmeal purchased from Luda Mae’s store, you get your things ready to go drive to the next town and do some serious food shopping.

The car is packed with some water and a snack or two, but before you hit the road you take a trip down to see Dover the farmhand to try and appease him one more time. The morning seems to be the best time to catch him, and you can see him watching TV through a window so you knock on the door gently and hear a groan, he answers the door and when he sees you, he rolls his eyes and says rudely,

“Whadya want?”

You put on a sincere smile and reply “Good morning, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything?”

“Ya interrupted my peace, now what the hell d’ya want?” his tone is aggressive, but you continue,

“I just thought I might interest you in some new stuff for your home? I know you like how things are but I wanted to see if I could make it more comfortable, like a new T.V, or a new bed or whatever else.”

He throws his head back and sighs “Ya just don’ get it do ya? I don’ want yer fancy shit from the city, I don’ need nothin’ other’an this here orchard n’some peace! Why don’t ya just go play dress up with the Hewitts again, see if their retard son will play tea party with ya”

He slams the door on you. You feel sick with anger and knock again, this time more loudly.

Dover opens the door and screams “The fuck is yer problem?”

You try to keep your cool as you reply through gritted teeth “Why are you so mean to me? What did I ever do to you other than be kind and offer you help or nice things! You don’t even know my name!”

Dover’s eyebrows furl into and angry frown “This here land belongs t’me, stupid little girl. I worked fer years under that bitch Tilly, and the fact that she left everythin’ to some no-good kid who don’ deserve it, makes my skin crawl. If I had my way, this place’d be mine”

You look visibly confused “What is that supposed to mean?”

He then pauses and gets all flustered “Nothin’, nothin’ at all. You just let me do everythin’ here, soon ya gon’ realize ya don’t belong here and leave, if ya know what’s good fer ya. Now never come back to this house ever again or I’ll give ya somethin’ to cry ‘bout”

He slams the door again and you are shaking with rage, your eyes begin to well up with tears as you walk away back to your car. You set out on the drive to the next town and it feels like it lasts forever, the road is straight and flat, and the surroundings are just large swathes of yellow grass and wheat rushing past you as you speed up to shorten the distance. The sky is cloudless and the sun is blaring down on you causing your eyelids to weigh down, you decide to put on a playlist that only has bangers to energize you. Eventually you see the welcome sign for the next town and feel a sigh of relief.

The town is small but you are able to spot a large Costco in the distance -Oh hell yeah, I can really stock up now-. You find a parking spot close to the door and as you walk in you get blasted by the air conditioning which feels so nice after that long, hot drive. You take your time through the aisles grabbing as many bulk items as you can, finding preserved goods that won’t immediately go bad, and some produce that would be able to last a little longer than others. Once your cart is fully maxed out with goods you head to the cashier who looks at you funny due to the number of things you are buying. They greet you,

“Hi Ma’am, all this for you?”

You smile, feeling a bit embarrassed “Yeah, I don’t live nearby any stores, just stocking up.”

They smile back “Oh yeah? Where ya comin’ from?”

You reply “Fuller”

The cashier squints her eyes in curiosity “Fuller? Where’s that at?”

You are a little surprised by their response, but with how desolate the town is their response makes sense, you say,

“It’s a... um, well…a dead town near the Oklahoma border”

They tilt their head as they scan your Costco card “Must be real dead if I ain’t never heard of it.”

“Yeah, it is” you give a little chuckle and they continue,

“Well, alright then, I’ll get yer stuff boxed here and you can be back on yer way to the dead town.”

You finish paying and thank the cashier, then you start wheeling your cart back to the car when a very old man approaches you.

“You came from Fuller?” he says

You reply “Yeah, do you know it?”

He pauses, then says “I know it. That town used to have a lot people go missing after the businesses left. Why’re you out there?”

“I inherited an orchard” you say quietly

He places his hand on his chin “Oh? So, there’s still somethin’ left huh. Be careful ma’am, that town ain’t safe from what I know. The people ain’t right, if there’s any people left.”

You feel extremely confused “Ok, uh, thanks?”

You open the trunk and fill it with the bags wondering what he could possibly mean by people going missing, and the citizens being not right.

The drive back felt a lot faster; you were running what that old man had said through your head, -he must be talking about Dover, or maybe some urban legend-. You have experienced gossip and falsehoods about your own town back home before, so it didn’t seem so absurd to have a random stranger tell you something odd. You arrive back at the house by 1pm, happy to have been so productive today, you begin to unload the car and get everything into the house.

All the groceries get put away and you decide to start baking a batch of chocolate chip muffins for the Hewitts since they have been nothing but nice to you, and it’s the first time in a long while where you feel comfortable around other people; you are hopeful of making new long-term friends with the Hewitts. You bake 24 muffins since you assume that Tommy likely eats a lot and maybe hasn’t had a baked pastry in a while. When the muffins are done baking you take them out of the oven and put them in the little basket you brought the fruit over in, you cover the muffins with a cheesecloth and make your way over.

You walk up the driveway and look to the barn but don’t see Tommy there, just a group of chickens clucking around. You knock on the door which gets answered by Charlie who says,

“Well, well, well, what we got here? Bringin’ us somethin’ good sweetheart?”

You blush and reply “Yeah, I baked some muffins for all of you”

“Well, ain’t you sweet. Come in girlie, Luda’s gonna wanna say hi” he waves you in

You didn’t like how he stared at you but he seemed mostly harmless, he calls out into the house

“Luda! The neighbor girl is here!”

Luda Mae comes out from the kitchen drying her hands with a towel “Oh hi dear! What a welcome surprise to see you. What brings you by?”

You smile, Luda Mae is such a welcoming and kind person, you say “I baked some muffins for everyone, as a thank you for inviting me over the other day, and kindness you have all shown me”

“That is so thoughtful of you! I hope you know you’re welcome to come by anytime dear, you don’t need to bring gifts every visit, your company is enough” she says sincerely.

You feel very accepted among this strange small-town family you say “It was no big deal really, I went to the next town over to get groceries and picked up some ingredients to make sweet things to share”

Luda Mae tilts her head and smiles indicating how impressed she is by your kindness and generosity, she follows with “Well Tommy will just love these, I guess you must’ve known that he doesn’t get to eat baked goods often”

She calls out for him to come upstairs and you immediately get butterflies in your stomach, they make you feel nauseous and excited. You hear heavy, thudding footsteps and the house gently rattles as Tommy makes his way up to the living room from what you assume is the basement. He stops in his tracks the second he looks up and sees you; his eyes were shrouded in shadow from his hair and thick brows but despite the darkness, the brilliant blue looking back at you was vivid and bright; his long hair was roughly tousled and draped down to the nape of his neck in curly dark brown tendrils.

You finally got to see him even closer and you lose your breath with just how incredibly huge this giant of a man is compared to your own height, his chest is so wide it would enshroud your entire body if you hid behind it, his thick pectorals heaving with every breath under his worn-down short sleeve blouse. His legs were massive and covered by a pair of very worn and dirty jeans, they were hanging onto by a worn belt that had a large belt buckle, oxidized by time. You immediately felt a tinge of ancient animal fear from the obvious difference in power his body displayed, he could kill you in seconds if he wanted to but beneath his brutish exterior you could sense there was someone worth taking a chance on.

You wished to be able to see the rest of his face but it was hidden behind a dark leathery mask which was tactfully sewn together, there was only a small slit near his mouth for air to pass through, you wondered what he was hiding if he was already this impressive.

Luda Mae sighs and says,

“Thomas, don’t be shy, Y/N brought us some sweets, say thank you”

He holds his stare on you, he had never seen someone as breathtaking as yourself and your clothes did nothing to hide your robust, curvaceous figure, you didn’t look like someone who could easily break if he were to touch you but your height was barely a third of his own. He couldn’t help but find you simultaneously gorgeous and cute which was a perplexing and new feeling he welcomed. He suddenly snaps out of his trance when Luda Mae clears her throat, he then nods slowly as he shifts his eye contact from you and turns to leave quickly back down the stairs.

Luda Mae shakes her head “Excuse him, he takes a bit to warm up to people he likes”

“What about the people he doesn’t like?” You shocked yourself with your comment, it seemed to have just come out against your will.

Luda Mae looks at the floor and clenches the towel “Oh… haha well, don’t worry yourself about that hun. He likes you; one can tell that plain from the way he’s behavin’ ”

You let out a giggle and try to hide from the heat building up in your cheeks, Luda Mae notices this and smiles, Charlie sees this too and rudely barks in,

“Good thing y’got a crush on him because the people who don’t like him? Well, Girlie, you don’t wanna be them.”

Luda Mae drops her smile and snaps “YOU HUSH UP RIGHT THIS SECOND! THOMAS AIN’T DONE NOTHING WRONG!”

Charlie just laughs and wanders off, Luda Mae looks at you and says,

“I’m so sorry ‘bout him dear, he’s got such bad manners, does whatever he wants.” She places her hands on her hips and squints in the direction Charlie wandered off.

You reply “It’s alright. You know, Thomas seems to not want to be around me every time I come here. I hope I am not seeming like an intrusion to him.”

Luda Mae gets a worried look and says “Oh sweetheart, as his mama I can tell you with full certainty that he likes when you come over. He asked about you the other day, wondering who you are”

You try to suppress the smile forming on your lips, “I didn’t know he spoke. I would love to get to know him better” for some reason you kept saying bold statements despite your mind protesting the revealing honesty.

Luda Mae smiles at you “He speaks to the people he feels comfortable with, so far that’s only been me and sometimes Charlie. I think you may have to make an effort with Thomas dear, he is going to be like taming a wild animal, so you have your work cut out for you”

You continue a bit of small talk about the town you visited and then take your leave back down the drive way to home. The walk back makes you think of so many scenarios in which you would be able to speak with Tommy, he seemed like he would have a lot to say. The prospect of making Tommy trust you and having such a unique friend was overstimulating and got you so excited that you didn’t notice Dover come out of the bushes next to you, making you jump from being startled. He gives you a dirty look and says,

“Seems like yer makin’ friends with them Hewitt folk. What a stupid girl ya are. You know their sons a violent sort dontcha?”

You have had enough of Dover and his cruelty, you reply,

“I thought you wanted to be left alone? Besides, Thomas is really shy, he doesn’t seem violent”

Dover laughs “Ya really are dumber’n ya look! That retard would string ya up and eat ya alive if you don’t get the hell outta here”

You stop walking and face Dover “Why are you telling me this? It seems like you don’t care if I live or die so what would it matter to you if he DID eat me alive?”

He stops and looks at you “I DON’T CARE IF YA GET BURNED ALIVE!”

You stare at him, saying nothing, and he awkwardly looks around, expecting you to get mad, he follows

“Ya like that fool dontcha? Yer fixin’ to have him split yer birthin’ bits in two huh?”

You sneer at the crass statement “What is wrong with you? If you don’t need anything from me then please just go find the peace you claim to want, and let me live my life”

You continue walking away and he yells back after you “Those fuckers ate people ya know! Next theyr’ gon’ eat YOU! Have fun fuckin’ a cannibal man, ya dummy!”

You keep walking and make your way to the front door of your home, the words said to you by Dover were heinous but they did make you think, -He might be right, Luda Mae and her family say some really weird things a lot and seem to change the subject when things get too suspicious. At this point, I don’t care anymore… this is my only chance to have a normal life and have friends, maybe even family. I’m going to continue Tilly’s legacy, if not for her… then for all the people who seem to actually care about me-

Next chapter-

#what ya writin #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x y/n #slasher community #thomas hewitt x afab reader #leatherface 2006 #texas chainsaw massacre #my art #the fruit after the flesh

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nono-uwu · 1 year ago

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First oc post i am shaking crying throwing up for multiple reasons and also anxious as hell- anyways, meet the man, the failure disaster gay, the forever doomed ginger(derogatory/lh)

I forgot to add his birthday omg, it's march 13th

Lore utc (i wrote a lot lmao), the uh post ch 134 stuff will be elaborated on later (or if asked. Actually, ask me anything about him. And my other oc's once they're posted. Please. I will answer in great detail. I also need a distraction. Pls.)

So basically, among the first few vampires (a 4th progenitor to be percise) turned by Shikama was a woman who showed great potential for spells and magic. She had a loving husband and child which she tragically lost in an accident. Upon turning into a vampire, her family was still the only thing on her mind. She accepted to help Shikama in his endeavors to revive Mikaela since she hoped she could revive her own family in the proccess. Unfortunately it didn't work. Disillusioned, she abandoned vampire kind and started searching for the possible reincarnation of her beloved husband, whom she may be able to have a child with and have family again.

Fast forward a a lot, and I mean a lot, of years and she arrived in 60s japan. None of the people she had hope for turned out to be the reincarnation of her late husband until that fateful day. She encountered a (rather pathetic may I add) man in his late 20s and it was like a miracle. The woman cornered the man in disbelief and from this awkward first meeting blossomed true love. Then everything went to shit lmaooo

The first problem was that the mans family didn't approve of the woman. Tough this didn't stop their love. Next was the issue of bearing a child, something that a vampire simply can't do. Well, an ordinary one but this woman was anything but ordinary. By some impossible miracle she bore a child. A biological child. (GIRL HOW?? We will never know and frankly, i don't want to think about it💀)

The child was, as expected tbh, kind of a disaster. Already born with pointy ears and sharp fangs. The child needed both human food and blood to properly sustain themselves. Drinking blood outside of their family would permanently stop their aging. Despite this, the couple was overjoyed. (And then named their child "mistake" bc that would help /s.) They named him "Machigai". Why tho?? I dunno man something along the lines of "a mistake but the best mistake of their life" bruh

So after Machigai was old enough to walk, but not old enough to remember, the mother diappeared, leaving father and child behind. The father did his best to raise such an... extraordinary child but it was understandably kind of impossible. Machigai grew up alone and isolated from his peers. He was always wearing a hood of some kind and rarley opened his mouth to talk. In high school, he met a girl who he became good friends with but she is another oc I'll post about sometime adlf,wpl.

Anyways! Come Machigai's high school graduation and 18th birthday, his father... disappeared. All he left was a note saying, that Machigai now owned the apartment and that there is enough blood in the fridge to sustain Machigai's thrist while he could grow and mature. To an already depressed and disillusioned Machigai this obviously didn't help. Throughout the next years he became a shut in, who only left the house if absolutely necessary. All he did all day was play video games, watch tv and later be on the internet. Once he ran out of his fathers blood was when things changed. He had to go out and actually find a new source of blood. Welp, sorry to unlucky bastards who went into dark alleyways at night bc these types of people became Machigai's source of blood. (That's when he stopped aging)

On one of these nightly escapades, Machigai was greeted by a large man in a neat black suit who called himself "Saito". Saito claimed to have known Machigai's mother and offered a deal: Machigai would offer up his unique constitution to the Hyakuya sect's research and in turn get a well paying job and a guaranteed source of blood. He agreed. "Welcome to the Hyakuya sect. I look forward to your performance"

Machigai was practically a lab rat for the development of cursed gear. Thanks to his half-n-half physiology he could tank wounds from cursed gear/magic n shit while still providing useful data to how effective it is. During this time Machigai aquired knowledge of vampire culture(?), became familiar with magic and it's quirks and learned how to perform simple spells and whatnot.

Around 2011, when the internet was already fairly well used, Machigai came across a forum dedicated to paranormal sightings. Various users claimed that a secluded spot in Kyoto was home to vampires. (Ferid was the one spreading these rumors btw) Most would have dissmissed this as someone wanting attention, yet Machigai was intrigued. He was well aware that vampires existed across the world but he mever knew how to actually contact them. Perhaps out of morbid curiosity, perhaps out of a genuine want for connection with people like him, he went to check out the spot. There, he met none other than the eccentric Ferid Bathory who specifically manufactured the rumor to meet Machigai (extra much?). He was well aware of Machigai's work for Rígr "Saito" Stafford and was trying to one up his father by stealing his most prized lab-rat. Machigai declined, not trusting a single thing out of that vampires mouth. Ferid left, already proclaiming that one day Machigai would be working for him.

Machigai stuck around that area as it was already well into the night and public transport wouldn't start up until the early morning. There he met another vampire: Crowley Eusford. Their meeting wasn't planned or meticulously calculated, it was actually rather awkward. Their chat was meaningless and short but in the end leagues above whatever Ferid likes to plan. Crolwey has already unwillingly heard about this curious being from Ferid and seeing Machigai himself left him wanting to learn more about him. Machigai was left a little hopeful, that perhaps it's not too late for him to look for connections.

So the apocalypse rolls around-

Machigai makes a deal with Saito that in exchange for his freedom (*eagle screech*) he would keep his mouth shut about anything the Hyakuya sect discovered while Machigai was there.

Machigai seeks out the Demon Army where he successfully keeps his half vampire identity a secert until someone on his squad gets blackmailed into revealing it. Before that, he gets a cursed weapon, a pair of daggers. And lo and behold, the demon possessing the daggers is his own mother. Unfortunately since the now demonic mother didn't witness Machigai growing up, she falsey believes to be able to still shape Machiagi to her will. After getting locked up by the army, Machigai completley gives up, only wishing for his miserable existence to end (spoiler: It won't! Ever. :) ). He ultimately loses any and all trust he has in humanity or just anything in general.

After about half a year of grueling torture and some experimentation, Machigai gets freed (kidnapped) by Ferid and promptly brought to Kyoto Sangiuem. Krul Tepes, finding Machigai to be useful in her fake-ish war against humanity and whatever she's planning with Yuu and Mika, lets him be part of the japanese vampires under Ferids faction. Ferid found himself unwilling to deal with the often uncooperative and irritated new "recruit" so he did what he does best and made it Crowley's problem.

After a rather agressive and disrespectful first impression, Machigai was officially a... coworker? of Crowley and thus also Chess and Horn in Nagoya. The three got the additional task by Ferid to somehow domesticate this feral and angry stray animal and get him to open up. At least that's how Ferids orders were phrased. Shenanigans, Drama and FeelingsTM ensue.

(How did I write so much??)

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inhurtandincomfort · 4 months ago

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Melancholia

Happy birthday Eldwin! I am minutes away from midnight so I'm hoping to write this before his birthday ends lol. A little character study, nothing much. I really want to explore more, and go more in depth in his dissociation, his triggers, how often and how he learns to deal with it, but save that for another day.

CW: Depression, dissociation, depersonalisation, referenced drug use, referenced alcohol use, referenced self harm,some brief derogatory attitudes/language toward the mentally ill (reflections of the setting, not the author) anxiety, self-destructive behaviour, referenced disordered eating, with a very brief emeto mention.... Happy birthday :)

There are days when all Eldwin feels is rage.

Those are his best days. Angry at himself, angry at the world, at it's injustice. An all consuming monster burning through him, destroying everything in its path. It runs hot, almost painful, and he needs to get it out, needs a release before it turns around to destroy him.

So he lets it burn. He finds his kindling in the blood splattered across his face, the crunch of bones beneath his fist. Discovers tinder in agonised screams accompanied by the smell of seared flesh, in glassy eyes of a soul that could take no more. He craves it, yearns for it, and if he gets as good as he gives, well, what's the harm in that? He's still in control. As adrenaline courses through his veins, pain shoved to the background so he can focus on surviving - it's the only time he feels alive. Sometimes it's work, and then Clyde doesn't mind when he comes back bloody, bruised, with a satisfied look on his face as he gets to report a job well done. Other times… Other times it's just fun. Pleasure. An escape from voices whispering things he pretends are lies. It's fuel for the monster, encouraging it to run it's course, burning everything, destroying everyone. It will never go out, so all he can do is feed it and hope it turns it's attention away from him.

Then there are days when the fire runs low, little more than a flickering candle. The fire is satisfied, for now, and is content to sit back giving way only to emptiness. Without fire, he is hollow. His body is a husk, a cold place for loneliness to rest her ever-weary head. Her sadness is his own, seeping into his soul like a child burdened by the all the wrong choices, desperate for comfort no matter whose form it takes. These days are the most frequent, when every limb is weighed down by grief, where it's exhausting just to drag himself from bed and his stomach his twisted in knots, his heart racing for no reason at all as the prospect of leaving his room makes his hands shake, nails digging into his palm just to stop the constant trembling. On these days the very thought of food makes him nauseous, so he doesn't eat. He doesn't cry, not anymore. Such open displays of emotion were beaten from him long ago. Crying was weakness, but he doesn't think not crying made him strong. It just made him empty.

To fill the growing void inside him, he throws himself into work, one job after another after another so he never has time to himself. If there's no work to be had, he throws himself into a bar, pouring spirituous drinks down his throat until he can't even think, until he can't feel the pangs of hunger as his body begs for food it will only throw back up. Sometimes he'll take pills, a momentary bliss bottled into little capsules he keeps in his pocket. Occasionally he'll smoke, less for the high and more for the sharp awakening of a smouldering end searing into his flesh.

He does his job, cleans up to look presentable. He can function perfectly fine. It's not a problem. It's fine. He's fine.

And then there are days when he feels nothing at all.

It scared him, at first. He feels like he's slowly losing his grasp on reality, life and dreams blurring together until he can no longer tell what is real and what is fake. It feels like floating, his mind drifting between realms to survive as the vessel is destroyed, fighting and breaking til it can endure no more.

The captain abandoned his ship, leaving it to drown into the icy depths alone.

"Hey. Hey, you with me?" Clyde snaps his fingers in front of his face as the world slowly comes into focus. Eldwin blinks, everything slowly coming into focus. Clyde's lip curls, looking down at with a look he's seen many times before, in ragged clothes, covered in filth begging for spare coins. "Saints, it's so freaky when you do that. There's something seriously wrong with you."

Perhaps there was. It started out only a few minutes at a time, that day with Clyde can't have more than ten, but as time drew by he found himself drifting further away, his memory filled with entire weeks worth of blank spaces. Time ceased to exist, every day blurring together into one until he couldn't distinguish what happened last month to what happened yesterday. Sometimes he wasn't even sure if something had happened at all. Slowly, but surely he was gradually becoming nothing more than a hollow shell. How long, he wondered idly, as he stared up at the ceiling. How long would it be until he stopped coming back?

He wondered if he should talk to Jowan, but quickly dismissed the idea. The doctor would be less inclined to help him and more thrilled to study a lunatic. Clyde doesn't care, either; as long as Eldwin does what he's supposed to, nothing else matters.

So he just learned to live with it on his own. He grew used to being punished because he didn't do as he was ordered, or he didn't speak when he was supposed to. He took to covering all the mirrors in his room. He hated looking in them. He didn't recognise the person looking back. It was as if his consciousness had been implanted into a mechanical body - it's all he has, but it is not his. He's an outsider experiencing the body from afar, disconnected. Emotionless. Inhuman.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed please consider relogging, it really helps the reach and let's others enjoy it too!

#whump #whumpblr #whump community #whump dissociation #oc #whump fic #depression whump #Eldwin oc

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inner-ear627 · 2 months ago

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Clairaudient Channeling

() = me narrating

"" = songs, books, movies, quotes

<> = smells, tastes, sensations

Some of these could just be signs or synchronicities. Sometimes I'll get words or sentences, and I'll hear someone else say them later on in a conversation or on the TV/internet.

(Before I list off the stuff I got earlier, I just wanted to mention I noticed a lot of lights flickering today and that might be significant for someone.)

"S.O.S" - Rhianna

Someone is swearing up and down they didn't do anything but they did.

Gaslighting

Time piece

Fucked up

Losing it

Pictures

"Picture to Burn" -Taylor Swift

Bouncing up and down

Pacing

Holier than thou

Reckoning

Family gathering

Video surveillance

(I just heard, as I was typing, "the lie detector determined THAT was a lie!" lol)

Agreement

Mediocrity

Move it or lose it

Foster

Give them up

Headline

Serpentine (I got the feeling someone was trying to maneuver around questions without actually answering them)

Golashes

Do you have the time?

Losing it

Over now

You fucking wish

"Wild Thing" - The Troggs

It's got your name on it

Filters

Duolingo

Move over

"Oldies radio! MAJIC 102.7!" (That's a radio station in Miami that I'm pretty sure doesn't play oldies anymore)

Enough

Loosen it

"Uptight" - Stevie Wonder

Nicotine patch

Out of sight, Out of mind

Old people

California adventure

Cruise

Repeated attempts

Responsibility

Stuff that matters

Tessa

Don't get stressed about it

Worries and fears

Double chocolate

Holding out

Unbelievable

Try to have a good day

I believe in you

Dentist appointment for Tuesday

Marked down

Clearance sale

In quotation marks

Everything must go

Circumstances

Monster sale

Umpire

Truck

"Love Me Do" - The Beatles

Above or below average

Score

Spikey

Honda Civic

International

Chocolatier

Performance review

Substandard

Calm down

Beauty sleep

Get this message

Timer

Self-Esteem

Bullseye

Licked

Crying

"Respect" - P!nk

Zipper

Caught with pants down

Triangle

Square

Ratio

Paper

Get Ratioed (lol not sure what that means but it sounds like an insult)

Motormouth

Richard

That's a big ask

Responsibility

Baby

Fatality

Big boundaries

Needing

Fight

Goggles

Thunder

Houla hoop

Lit a fire under their ass

Where would we be?

Water bottle

Don't forget to hydrate

Music

Be there or be square

Minimum of 40 days

Purim

Derogatory

Maximum sentence

Jail

Libra

Island

Get out of there

Burger King

Roof

Rattling around

"Shake, Rattle, and Roll" - Bill Haley & His Comets

Gertrude

Desert

After party

Cinco De Mayo

Fishing line

Chicken wire

A lot of lessons here

Maury

First of all

Hey, thanks

Resolve your tummy issues

Not you gaslighting me!

Taco truck

Ocracoke

Tank

Badmouthing

Bruiser

Your anthem is playing

"All Star" - Smash Mouth

Ego boost

Amanda

Diet coke

Coke

Go back to

October 1st

Halloween

Heightened

Audience

Podium

Pond scum

Basement

Recliner

Sofa

Couch

I haven't eaten anything

We haven't decided yet

Gold Star

Applebee's

Idol

Opera

Start singing about mashed potatoes

Hockey puck

Island

Someone stole my sweets

Puppy

All this

Giving to me

Slow approach

Snow White

Billy Goats Gruff

Standards

Timer

Watch

Clouds

Jeff

Hungry

Belief

Waffle House

Good

Bandages

Dead (when i heard this i saw a Waffle House that was open but had no customers)

Restaurant

Retainer

Hot and Smokey

Tender

Ham

Smoked bacon

Samon

Date

Trail mix

Sky

Grand Theft Auto

Airplane

Keep your peace

Whatever happens

Nonchalant

Enjoyment

I'll tell you right now

Not for everyone

Lavender scented dish soap

Business acumen

Bill fold

Brown noser

Hop in

Take a seat

Roof

Diving

Ella

Writing

Put on app

Appetizer

Egocentric

At work

Hotdog

Banana

Indentured servitude

Morally corrupt

Billy

Looking for illegal activities

Evidence

Spotted

Photo

Thinking it was gonna last

Court ordered

Hearing

Deep

Sink

Land

Scope (I was seeing a looking glass that old timey pirates used and then I started seeing a lot of old timey pirate imagery))

Old time pottery

Wasted it now

Boat

Higgins

Fact of the matter

Motherland

Manipulate

Talking about

Collective

Ghetto

Prison

Thinking they are more powerful than God

Big mistake

Redirect

Court

Smashing

Capricorn

Leo

Heirophant

Judge

Out of the frying pan and into the fire

Hot water

Heart attack

Electric Bugaloo

Stay out of it

It's not for you to get involved in

"Too Much Monkey Business" - Chuck Berry

"Blue Suede Shoes" - Elvis

Wow

Theme park

Expresso

Susan

Ascot

Holding it down

Police

Rings

Dang it

Anything I can help you with?

Willow

Tap

Content

Woken

Open doors

Flew open

Dragonfly

Huckleberry

Ring

Ichabod Crane

Up in the air

"Up, Up and Away" - The 5th Dimension

Computer

Make other people uncomfortable

Vampire

Edgar Allan Poe

They think they are so much better than you, but they don't know a damn thing about you. Not a single clue.

Put up with bull crap

Stupid

Heavy

Pictures

Snakes

Walk down tracks

Who the hell cares what their tiny minds think.

Idea of you

Judgement

Passion projects

Executing thought into action

Art

Beautiful

The Call

Phone call

Leo

Ace

Raising up confidence

Not involved They absolutely were involved

Fumbled

You may cry

Alleviate

I love you

Take care of your tummy

Dimetapp

Action

Be on alert

Be awhile

Keep your head up

Head above water

Scatter

King of cups

Motivate you

Capital

Teamed up

Minutiae

Guys

Made up

Cover story

Lesbian

Oh, well. They can just sit there and be mad by themself.

Page out of your book

Helpful

Favors

Halloween

Serious

Covers

Scary dude

Shiver me timbers

Cover

Already knew

Said somebody looked like me

Necromancer (this is in reference to some kind of game. Couldn't get a clear picture on what game, so it must be something I'm unfamiliar with)

Construction

Lady

Good

Grounded

Good judgement

"Luck Be a Lady" - Frank Sinatra

Bankruptcy

Character

Police department

Hot summer day

Just in time

Love you

Good night

#channeled message #intuitive messages #clairaudient #spirituality #intuition #psychic

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badolmen · 3 years ago

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I realize this is probably obvious to anybody who’s thought about it for more than 5 seconds but oh my gosh I just realized the parallels between the end of Act I and the end of Act III.

The same ultimatum. If Vander turns over the criminals (his children, his daughter) he and his people are safe (as long as the topsiders who won’t forgive at least forget the Undercity’s trespasses). If Silco turns over the criminal (his child, his daughter) he and his people are safe (as long as the topsiders who won’t forget at least forgive Zaun’s trespasses).

The inverse responses to the ultimatum. Vi was going to turn herself in for the greater good (and Vander would refuse to reap what he had sown, would never let her do that, even unto his own death and the loss of the greater good). Jinx was not going to turn herself in for Zaun (and Silco would reap what he had sown, he wouldn’t give her up for, even unto his own death and the loss of the greater good).

Selflessness and selfishness and selfishness and selflessness. Borne out of love of the individual or hate of the institution that demanded blood.

There is nothing as undoing as a daughter.

#ra speaks #arcane #jinx #vi #silco #vander #i am sooooo normal #guysss beans is meta posting about arcane again #this show drives me up the fucking wall. I’m still not over the fucking Mel and Jinx parallels you know.#shaking sobbing cry etc.#okay archival tags now #I want to throw her in a McDonald’s play scape and see if she establishes dominance or gets stuck in the net #she. arms. hot. yes #the walking definition of rat bastard (affectionate) (derogatory)#vanderbuilt like a brick outhouse

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purplepri · 3 years ago

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Purple watches 911 s5A

502

Idk if this Beauty and the Beast rose dome is really a way to carry hearts around

Hey! Heart theme number 3!

"The place this heart is coming from, that was a tragedy. But once we land it's gonna be someone's miracle, right?" (THIS QUOTE IS SEVERELY UNDERUSED IN THIS FANDOM)

Hen telling the newbie paramedic 'It'll be okay, kid.".... I just love her, so muchhh

Also, Eddie almost fell down from a helicopter.

Eddie taking the place of a paramedic is a foreshadowing for his role when Chim's away, right?

I actually want to see Manny the paramedic again

Bobby going down on the "rope"? I see you.

He almost died from something that should be secure snapping?...

Harry!!!! What

I love how food is always a source of love and care in 911

HenChim my loves

CLIPBOARD BUCK!!!!!!!!

Ravi said his name and I understood Robby and I was... Who the fuck is Robby

The way Eddie says Panikkar though

Baby Jee is literally the thing that can break Clipboard Buck yes that actually tracks

Buck came around and Eddie completely forgot Ana existed, how is this show real.

Buck clocked Eddie SO HARD on his reaction to Ana

Sweeties it's been five days do you really think he would be there for that long

Eddie, looking around, explaining his husband's behavior: he takes our son there all the time I'm sorry about him :/

Eddie smile WAS SO DAMN CUTE how can a grown man be that pretty that's so not fair

Bobby is such a little shit sometimes

Also, they should have used Buck's knowledge of animals to help solve what the fuck attacked that guy

OH MY GOD HIS EAR

I'm actually happy that it was Hen's knowledge. I'm very happy.

Buck and Eddie's faces when Bobby told them it was two alpacas and there was no running okay that's actually funny

The look they shared...

Also, the Welcome to the Jungle usage was magnificent

Oh noooo the poor kid :(

The neighborhood helping the kid :D

I can't believe I'm crying

Ohhhhhh The Talk

"You need to tell me if something's wrong" BABE

Ana the anxiety inducing gf and Taylor the misery inducing gf

Gotta love the way Eddie's like "I'm not gonna think about it", then Buck's like "maybe you should think about it" then leaves and then Eddie's like "I'm thinking about it"

Chim's so worried...

And the Madney/Buddie parallels keep on going

People who've watched this episode live, how the fuck did you guys kept calm during the JeeYun almost drowning scene? How did you guys went into commercial breaks, listening to those annoying USA ads, and not completely flipped out? How?

Maddie at the beginning of 5A looks so much like Eddie at the beginning of 5B... the parallels

Michael, WHAT THE HELL

Harry :((( OH MY FUCKING GOD NO

#purple watches 911 s5 #911 fox #buddie #madney #athena grant #shaking crying throwing up (derogatory)#somebody shoot that man in his head

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the-chihayafuru-landslide · 2 years ago

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In Defense of the Ending of Chihayafuru [PART 1]

Well I never thought I would be writing something like this because mainly I wanted to use my blog to discuss Taichihaya because that’s all my biased ass is interested in is the romance. I’m a consistent bitch through and through, unlike some of y’all. But I feel this topic is a bit more of a pressing matter since currently people over on twitter have been fist fighting in PQRT over the ending (still lol). Which, you know my ass couldn’t stay out of because I love pissing myself off and being boo boo the fool.

Posting this again just as a petty reminder since I am sore winner.

One of the best tweets in recent memory was someone calling Taichihaya a tacked on wattpadd romance and was Suetsugu selling out to thirsty fans. I truly think it’s lovely people think that Suetsugu had so little integrity and would would spend 15 years on a manga and throw it down the drain in the final chapter! Nah, if that was the case and she genuinely wanted to placate everyone, I think she would have picked the friendship route. (Especially since Arata won the most recent online [ rigged ] popularity poll lmao I’m sure she was nervous as hell when that happened) If there was no romance conclusion then both Taichihayas and Chiharatas alike would be shrugging our shoulders and fighting in the parking lot behind a Burger King till the end times. Honestly, I’m so glad we don’t live in that timeline because I don’t think I could handle being a Taichihaya solider against these absolute units. Their stubborn persistence in their own biased reading of Chihayafuru is truly remarkable despite the thousands of arguments that have been thrown at them. I wish I was so uncritical in my life because my thoughts are constantly oscillating when presented with new information to try and get to the closest version of the “truth”. Which requires you to admit when you are wrong and not be blinded by your own hubris. Heh (I’m realizing now why people don’t like me considering I say shit like this completely straight)

Before we address some of the writing criticisms that have been thrown at the ending, let’s get this obligation out of the way: the ending is not perfect. No singular piece of media is and can ever be. But for what Suetsugu managed to accomplish and (IMO) hitting every necessary story beat in 80 pages is actually very impressive. I’ll be honest, I was at times shaking my head wondering how she could do it.

Suetsugu was writing this manga for 15 years and was trying to get to the ending as quickly as she could (originally she wanted it to end it in 49 volumes but got convinced by her editor to stretch it to 50 volumes which thank god). So using the words of someone else (who every so often says something that I regrettably agree with), I think we can all afford to give this mangaka a bit of grace.

At the same time no matter what the conditions were for the ending’s creation, the ending still is what it is and that doesn’t make it above criticism. But some of the criticisms I’ve had the pleasure to read (derogatory) have made me want to rip out my hair. I can’t even be nice, y’all are just being fuckin purposely obtuse, hypocritical, or partaking in bad faith cinema sins level criticism.

I can understand being frustrated as hell that things didn’t resolve the way you thought they would (trust me I’d still be crying to this day if Taichihaya wasn’t canon) but the actual hoops people have tried to jump through, like criticizing things that UP UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER DID NOT BOTHER THEM IN THE SLIGHTEST, so they can point to anything other than what they are really mad about: that the ship they wanted to see didn’t end up happening and that Arata and Chihaya’s relationship not being romantical in the end has apparently no merit unless Chihaya told him EXPLICITLY at the end what a special little boy he is. I’d have more respect for some of you if you just came out and said it outright instead of being like every other theme and arc was also ruined by Chihaya’s confession lmao. I guess that’s just Chihaya’s power as a protagonist to ruin her own story by confessing. SHE IS A QUEEN IN EVERY SENSE. But of course people don’t want to say they were upset about the shipping b/c they spent how long (years?) tearing down those dastardly Taichihayas for only caring about that! Oh how the turntables.

Now I’m a chaotic individual and this entire thing is written purely in spite (I’m reading Skip Beat so I’m living my Kyoko fantasy) but before we get into the meat of my arguments; I’m going to break down the criticisms I’ve read about the ending into three categories:

1. Unresolved Plot Points

2. Unsatisfying conclusions to plot points

3. Things we should have seen but didn’t

I’m going to be discussing all three types of criticisms loose and free because thankfully I am not in academia anymore. So it’s going down, I’m yelling timberrrr. I just want to mention, with added emphasis, when I am discussing the criticisms filed under the third point- “things we should have seen but didn’t”, I want to acknowledge that it is ok for people to be sad about not seeing the thing they wanted to see. Even if thing wasn’t that important, and didn’t actually ruin the story.

I too had many things I wanted to see that Suetsugu did not feel necessary to include. Like yeah sure, I got my ship and even my crack ship (Arata x Sumire shippers manifesting their ship out of thin air like they were rubbing a lamp) yet I am greedy as hell. For all of our suffering as Taichihaya shippers (me for like 6 months some people for a literal decade) with Taichi and Chihaya being purposely kept apart in the story for literal years; at the end when they finally are a couple I wanted to see Taichihaya dating fluff and also their wedding (the way I felt so emboldened by reading the spin off for Eden No Hana that I truly believed it could happen). I should mention real quick that I sorta think ending a story with characters getting married is at this point a bit outdated and also kind of idk “tacky” yet the fervour I wanted to see a Taichihaya wedding made the feminism crawl back inside me and die. My life is filled with contradictions.

However, with things we want to see, to judge whether or it was necessary and or good to be included in the story we have to ask ourselves these questions: what does it add to the story? Is it necessary? What themes does it build? Is it redundant? Is it fun? Does it help resolve plot elements? Does it build characters? Etc etc etc

I actually do think some Taichihaya dating fluff would have been a nice way to wrap up the ending on a nice positive outlook for Chihaya and Taichi’s future together and provide a bit of breathing room after all the trauma and depression that’s happened (WE WERE SUFFERING FOR 100 CHAPTERS AND ALMOST 10 YEARS). I WASN’T EVEN ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT DEEP IT COULD BE TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WALKING SIDE BY SIDE FOR A SINGLE PANEL HOLDING HANDS.

This could have been us and I would have been satisfied BUT NOooooo

IT would have been fkin nice, yet it wasn’t completely necessary. We kind of /got this/ with the slight time skip the end. You just have to squint your eyes and read it through subtext (something apparently Taichihayas are good at lmao).

With the final pages of the story we got: Taichi and Chihaya confirmed to be dating, them wearing tasukis together in the final spread (y’know as they did before as a team lmao), and Chihaya’s random hair change suggesting maybe they went on a date beforehand… Yeah these things suggest that the two of them are doing well despite living in different cities, attending different universities, and not even being able to see each other since they started dating (fk me up). Does it hurt me that’s all we got in the ending? You know it does. Do I completely agree with Yuki Suetsugu’s writing choice? No. I WANT A MORSEL OF FLUFF OF SOMETHING I AM A STARVING VICTORIAN CHILD AND I NEED A SINGLE CRUMB. The way we only got a single panel in the spin off chapter and it Taichi and Chihaya in the same tournament just a different angle… IT IS A CRIME BUT don’t worry about me, I’m completely fine yep CoOl as a cUcumber. We as a fandom expect nothing so we bounce off the walls when we are served air.

Ok what was the point of this rant? Oh, that we all want to see things for fun even when they don’t serve a purpose because it makes us happy and isn’t the point of stories… enjoyment? However, I’m going to be a dick and shit on your dreams because I didn’t get everything I wanted, why should you lmao.

But again, I do understand the lamenting at least.

Alright now I’m done the intro (if you can call all of that nonsense an intro) let’s discuss the actual criticisms. Again this is in no particular order and I won’t be addressing every single criticism I’ve ever read (like not even gonna touch the 2chan comments about Chihaya being a sl*t because I don’t feel like giving misogynists the time of day lmao) just the ones I feel like.

[ 1 ] Taichi’s Arc Was Ruined by Chihaya’s Confession

You know this would be the first thing I would address because I am the number one most die hard annoying Taichi fan (or at least I hope people think of me as so). I actually have an unfinished twitter thread on why Taichi’s arc wasn’t ruined, which will someday see the light of day, so for now I won’t go in as much detail (LMAO unfortunately this isn’t at all concise, the things I do for this fictional man).

Taichi’s character was apparently supposed to be the personification of a loser and Arata a winner. Y’know because Arata was bullied in his childhood and in a stylized reality that means you get everything you have ever wanted and the person who bullied you can never be redeemed instead has to be punished by the universe forever for the crimes of his youth. It’s just and completely fair, yes, if you make one mistake when you are 10 it will define you for the rest of your life.

Ok jokes aside, I think the majority of the fandom /kind of/ understood the vague outline of Taichi’s arc: it was about taking a risk and not being a coward. It actually takes a kind of vulnerability to actually put effort into something: whether that be a relationship or a sport because all of your hard work could literally amount to nothing. Losing only hurts if you care about winning. But winning only feels like a win when it is earned (maybe that’s why nobody cared that Arata got Meijin because his ass was at times too OP lmao). This applies both Karuta (Taichi’s initial belief that there was no point in taking Karuta seriously because he could never beat Arata) and in love (he dated some random girl he didn’t care about b/c it was easy).

So in that sense, I somewhat agree with Taichi’s arc was about appreciating the journey “to love that desperation” to keep trying and not take the easy way out. That getting rejected after you confess your feelings to the girl you’ve been in love since childhood and losing by a huge margin of 18 cards fkin sucks and will hurt so much; but that doesn’t make any of the time spent on it worthless. Not only that, but you can and should still keep trying. (In Karuta I mean. If you get rejected please don’t be like Arata and say lmao I’ll try again because I’m moving to your city to be closer to you)

Even though Taichi had a tenuous love/hate relationship with Karuta, At the end of the day, it still gave Taichi everything that is dear to him: his friends, teachers, and the dream to bet his whole youth. Hence why I will fight to say I that I do like the hug with Arata b/c Taichi finally got acknowledged by his rival (or his core). It just stings after Arata smoked Taichi’s ass with an 18 card victory lmao. Like on the one hand yippee Arata acknowledged him… on the other Arata giving a hug still reads a bit patronizing sorry idc. I love and hate the hug. I look at the panel of them hugging and I’m like aww my babies :) then I read the whole arc and I’m liek TAKE YOUR FKIN HUG ARATA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. Sorry I got off topic there. (Unfortunately this is neither the first or last time that will happen).

The ending wraps up Taichi’s arc perfectly because he spent the whole manga not really having a firm Karuta “dream” (goal?) of his own (he kind of does but it’s too complex to get into right now so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say this). He watched his friends make a pact to become Meijin and Queen and though he basically facilitated this moment, he was not included. The “outsider”, the one left behind while Chihaya and Arata had bond through their Karuta dream.

No Taichi did not need to be symbolically made the reader at the end of the story- this was the perfect use of the childhood imagery to show how Taichi felt like the worthless one in their friend group.

Taichi had every reason to quit Karuta after he got his single win against Arata (and also because Chihaya had “rejected” him). Instead, seeing his friends accomplish their dreams inspired him to keep trying. (Hence his practice swings in the hallway). Then at the end of it all he challenged Arata that he would come back next year and take the Meijin title, throwing himself back into Karuta after his most devastating 18 card loss. The difference now from before lies in Taichi’s motivations. Before he wanted to win for other people: he wanted Suou to visit his family and he wanted to see Chihaya’s win from the closest spot. Which is not necessarily a bad reason to do things, but a central theme of Chihayafuru from the first chapter is making a dream for YOURSELF. So when he finally challenges Arata at the end it’s the perfect ending to his arc because he’s doing it for nobody else other than himself. He’s already lost the chance to win Chihaya’s love through Karuta and Suou has visited with his family that he’s been avoiding for all these years.

Alright so now that we’ve covered his Karuta arc, so what about the romance arc? Obviously, Taichi was a loser there too because he got rejected after confessing his feelings to Chihaya (until Chihaya pulled an uno reverse at the end).

Immediately after getting rejected, Taichi distanced himself from Chihaya and also the club completely cutting himself off from all of them (mostly). But this action was never narratively treated as Taichi trying to punish Chihaya. SO MANY PEOPLE interpreted this action as emotional manipulation since OOO he hurt her feelings. Yeah, her feelings were hurt and so were his? If he was actually manipulating her, then he’d have to have some underlying goal he was trying to accomplish? Taichi was basically like me very sad and right now I don’t want to be around Chihaya anymore or my friends or the sport I loathe (but love) because I’m not a superhuman robot and I do have feelings and those feelings right now are suffocating me fdkcnkjac. HE NEVER ONCE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS SOME MASTER SCHEME TO GET HER TO LOVE HIM OR TEACH HER A LESSON AS REVENGE FOR HURTING HIM. He just needed space because he wanted to figure out who he was and also at this point his perfect grades were suffering. Chihaya’s rejection wasn’t the only thing that made him quit the club anyways- he was already going through a downwards spiral LONG BEFORE THIS starting with his loss against Chihaya at Yoshino. Chihaya’s rejection was just the final drop in a cup that was already too full. It was going to spill over regardless and Chihaya’s love wouldn’t have saved him.

In fact Taichi never brought up his rejection to her at all. The only scene that we got where Taichi truly acted poorly (and even then it didn’t really affect Chihaya) was when he derived some satisfaction of knowing that Chihaya was hurting because of him. It’s a very real emotion even if it’s an ugly one; which I’m sure we’ve all felt at sometime in our life… But it’s a feeling which he himself feels guilty about having. Because maybe… he doesn’t actually… Want to hurt Chihaya? But because he thinks the worst of himself, the fact he even felt momentarily good that she might be hurting too, makes him not want to ever be apart of Chihaya’s life anymore (he can’t go back). Yes this is all apart of his master scheme where he selfishly thinks that he doesn’t even deserve to be in Chihaya’s life! Taichi the incel or whatever.

Taichi and Chihaya did eventually start mending their relationship slowly and gradually over the course of the last 100 chapters. Taichi came back to watch Chihaya win against Arata, he apologized for ditching the club, they cleaned the clubroom together (things accumulated), and then they played as a team in the Qualifiers and Challengers. Taichi had time to process the rejection but based on the final chapter, and tbh EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AFTER 205, seeing Chihaya and Arata side by side accomplishing their dreams and looking like an amazing couple (y’know thing he wanted for himself) hurts him even if he is also simultaneously happy for them. Taichi is written like a human being and not a happy go lucky robot that can take every single L in life and be better off for it.

Part of Taichi’s initial motivations for becoming good at Karuta were toxic: he wanted to get good so that Chihaya could notice him and then maybe she would fall in love with him. Since Taichi knew Chihaya was a “Karuta Baka” and seemingly only got flustered when she saw someone with skill (for example her first “crush” was on her married sensei LMAO).

Like was Taichi himself CLEARLY THINKS THAT CHIHAYA NEEDS A KARUTA MAN TO LOVE. Which he’s kinda right about at least initially lol.

So for Taichi actually the most important thing was not to “get over” his love for Chihaya, in fact what Taichi needed to find his own reasons to play Karuta outside of Chihaya’s love. Almost like it might have been linked to a void speech Or sOMething.

In the end, he FINALLY picks himself and his feelings by moving away instead of doing everything in his life for Chihaya’s sake (and lol he was never gonna stay in Tokyo just for Arata be serious). Which to me is not a bad idea, considering how much of his feelings he still carried the distance would help him be able to move on. It would not be good for anyone for him to remain in Tokyo being completely miserable and jaded while your two friends are in the beginning stages of their relationship (cause yeah Taichi the #1 strongest Chiharata believer in the manga). He was stepping away at least partially for their sakes as well.

Nor do I consider his decision to leave Tokyo a “cowardly” move? Taichi is leaving behind his life, his friends, his sensei(s), and his family and moving to someplace completely new. That takes bravery. Arata at least has a support network in Tokyo (outside of Chihaya and Taichi even!) like Hydro, Nishida, and the Shirinami society… who tf does Taichi even know in Kyoto lmao.

Unfortunately Taichi was not completely ok by the end of the manga. Sorry, it didn’t fit into your neat little timeline for when you thought Taichi should be comfortable being the third wheel for his two Karuta baka friends. He has the self esteem of a broken kite. Badum tsssss.

Nor was it like he dropped the news that he was moving away with the intention of hurting Chihaya even more and manipulating her to fall in love with him.

Taichi if he was still in his villain arc: “don’t call me. Don’t come to my house. We’re done.”

In Taichi and Chihaya’s final conversation in the clubroom Taichi doesn’t hide that he’s moving and states he simply needs a change of scenery but assures Chihaya that they will surely see each other again because they will always have Karuta. That is the exact same promise they made to each other as they were kids; a promise of everlasting friendship through their shared passions.

Sure, one could argue, because he wasn’t in Tokyo, they wouldn’t be as close as they before the break up and therefore he “didn’t really give her their friendship back”… BUT TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WOULD NEVER BE AS CLOSE as they were in high school!! In high school they were able to see each other every single day. BUT even if Taichi had stayed in Tokyo, all of them (Arata included) would be going to different universities. They would all be busy with their own studies and would probably only see each other at the Shirinami society (if Taichi and Chihaya only remained friends). So to be honest the distance only really stings if they decided to date (which they did so fk me upppp). Like it’s part of growing up, you don’t get to see your school friends as often anymore. It sucks, but that’s the way life is. But that doesn’t mean your friendship is worthless because you don’t live in the same city anymore? WE HAVE CELLPHONES.

We can debate all we want if Taichi wouldn’t have moved to Kyoto IF Chihaya confessed earlier but ultimately it doesn’t change the fact that in the end he put his feelings first. Which is what he should do!! HE SHOULD NOT ROLL OVER AND GET STEAM ROLLED BY TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE SELFLESSLY FOR ARATA AND CHIHAYA FCK YOU.

Off topic rant: but when Arata announced to Taichi that he was moving to Tokyo why did people think that it was something Arata did for Taichi? At that point TAICHI DEADASS THOUGHT TO HIMSELF SCREW YOU ARATA YOU’RE MY ENEMY. Arata did not know how to read the fking room it was lowkey embarrassing for him!! He didn’t ask Taichi if he wanted him there he assumed that they all wanted the trio back together. At this point in time TAICHI DID NOT.

However, the most important reason why it didn’t ruin Taichi’s arc is that Chihaya’s confession is not framed as Taichi’s “reward” for being cool with them being friends. Chihaya’s agency is at the forefront of her confession - it’s absolutely her choice. It’s the culmination of Chihaya’s arc of self discovery and finally being able to express her feelings with the help of her friends and finally knowing what those feelings are. She had been pondering her damn feelings for Taichi for 100 chapters like I’m very sorry that you missed it- but that’s on you

Just because it’s an annoying trope in other media where the rejected boy was the one the protagonist wanted all along does not instantly make it bad when it appears in a story… you have to look at how it’s executed. I know you some of you wanted a “progressive” story where the rejected boy “friend friend” would continue just be your closest friend even after getting rejected. But if that’s what you wanted, we got that with Arata? So like… huh. Why does it NEED to be Taichi? Is the universe who has it out for him or is it you because you hate him.

Chihaya’s confession wasn’t about Taichi’s feelings nor Arata’s but hers and hers alone so stfu about it “ruining Taichi’s arc” bitch ass what? It only ruins his arc if you were grading it under the incorrect assumption that Taichi’s big lesson was that he needed to be a loser in every aspect of life while Arata is a special boy who did nothing wrong ever therefore gets everything <3 IT WAS NEVER IMPLIED THAT SUETSUGU WAS WRITING TAICHI THIS WAY NOR IS THIS THEME THROWN OUT IF TAICHI IS THE ONE WHO GETS LOVED BACK? WHY DOES HE NEEDED TO BE A LOSER IN EVERYTHING?? HE ALREADY LOST IN KARUTA AND MADE PEACE WITH “LOSING” IN LOVE. I think it’s better actually that disappointment in life was split between two characters (Arata and Taichi) because it’s realistic that every character faces some disappointment in their life and has learn to cope?

Which is a perfect Segway to my next point:

[ 2 ] Arata needed to be formally rejected (again but better)

In the hell that is Chihayafuru discourse land where there are clowns on either side of the argument: there are two camps when it comes to Chihaya’s “answer” (or not a reply) to Arata’s confession. There are those who believe that Arata was never rejected that Chihaya instead said “wait until after I am Queen and then I’ll reject you” and there are those who believe Arata had already been soft rejected in ch 173.

It was funny the collective breakdown the other side had when Suetsugu said in a now deleted tweet that Arata had been soft rejected here and he knew it… THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE? SO MUCH FOR THEIR BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING

I was, of course, in the camp that believed that Arata had been soft rejected in this moment because Chihaya said “this is what’s up right right now” and mentioned nothing about having feelings for him. She just wanting to accomplish her dream and be the best in the world at Karuta. Saying “I’m focusing on other things” is actually not an uncommon way to let down people in Japan since it is more polite than saying outright that you’re not interested. Moreover, Chihaya never asks him to wait for a response… You’ll notice he says all of that about “coming closer” to her unprovoked. But I’m not discussing whether or not this was a rejection (this time). For the sake of the argument, let’s say Arata wasn’t rejected here… Then what.

This is apparently what people wanted Chihaya to say to him:

“Arata I realized at chapter 93 that I will always love you and Karuta but I actually lied to myself. You see I wanted to bait the omniscient presence that watches over my life because I like making people look like clowns. But yeah, don’t worry not all is lost I do love you but maybe like a friend though not a lover. Even though your confession was the one I preferred because it was like a marriage proposal. Anyways at least you’re Meijin and I am so utterly grateful for you all you’ve done for me like introducing me to the sport. Thanks so much for being the biggest support of me like when you made a team so I could beat your ass. Anyways learn how to use your phone ok? Love ya but not that way bye!”

Ok sorry LOL moving on. So the camp that thinks Chihaya did not reject Arata in that moment, did everyone think that Chihaya’s answer to his confession was “yes” and that she knew in that moment but she wanted to wait until after she had accomplished her dream to tell him so? GOD IT’S SO HARD TO EVEN ADDRESS CRITICISMS OF THE ENDING WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK DOWN WHY THESE BELIEFS HAD NO PROPER FOUNDATION TO STAND ON TO BEGIN WITH. Because if Chihaya knew in that moment that she loved Arata back, wouldn’t she have said “this is an answer to your response” or MAYBE she would have said something along what Rion said to Makoto.

LIKE SENSEI DIDN’T PUT THIS IN FOR FUNSIES IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YOURSELF. “IS IT BETTER NOT TO SAY THIS NOW?”

So anyways, Chihaya did not promise after becoming the best in Japan that she would respond to him with a yes. In fact, she never said she would respond to him at all? So…

With the two added pages off in the Tankobon, it became clear that Chihaya didn’t even have all of her feelings sorted out by the time she became Queen. So we can simply write off Arata needing to be formally rejected directly after he won Meijin because Chihaya did not know yet how she felt. Thank you so much Suetsugu for that.

Which even if she had fully sorted her feelings and decided that she loved Tacihi… I agree with the notion that it would actually be super shitty for Chihaya to ruin probably the best day of Arata’s life with a rejection? Like “congrats on the win buddy, anyways I don’t love you! Ok BYE”

Like why would you think that is a better outcome for him? But I get it, this would be the last moment Chihaya and Arata would see each other before uni because of the simple fact he lived in Fukui so if she was going to say something in person then it would have to be there.

But thankfully Arata gave Chihaya a little more leniency, to you know, let him know how she felt (if it was any different) when he moved to Tokyo. So quite frankly it’s not even like he asked her to respond to him after she became best in the world EITHER.

So then the alternative to telling him in person would be to what… Text Arata the moment Chihaya and Taichi started dating? PLEASE HOW WOULD A TEXT BE BETTER? I don’t know, YOU GUYS ALWAYS SAID Arata was apparently pretty chill waiting too? So it’s not like he was urgently fading away and they were so heartless for not texting him the MOMENT they got together. What is he, the Jesus in their relationship?

I just wanted a reason to put this meme here

So I think honestly the best thing was in fact to tell Arata TOGETHER the next time Taichi and Chihaya saw him in person. Chihaya did not need to pull him aside alone and have a deep conversation and tell him his worth to her as a friend? Their relationship would actually remain the same because the thing Arata did want the most was a future where the three of them (the trio) could be together whereas TAICHI WANTED A FUTURE ALONE WITH CHIHAYA.

Like for example Taichi even though he had more time to process his rejection it’s not like him and Chihaya ever had a heart to heart about what happened either so it’s odd you think Taichi would have not needed one but Arata should have?

I also think Arata probably won’t need as much time to process the rejection because he’s already been established to brush off adversary quickly. Plus let’s give him a little credit he’s been waiting for almost a year for a response for his confession like… The guy should have had time to think perhaps Chihaya’s answer would be no with how long it took to get back to him. Does that make him a bit pathetic? Yeah. And that’s ok because I love a pathetic man.

Taichi’s presence was probably also needed because when you think about it last time Chihaya tried to reject Arata he said “just you wait I’m coming to be closer to you”. SO maybe she thought oh if my boyfriend is here he’ll take it as a clearer no… BUT THEN ARATA STILL MADE THAT JOKE ABOUT WINNING HER AT 28 REGARDLESS. Like Arata my little bi disaster please you’re not helping your own case cdndkncj. But honestly no hate to Arata using comedy to cope. WHY DO YOU THINK I AM SO FUNNY?? I learned at a young age if you make fun of the way people make fun of you that their insults hurt less. Wow I’m dropping my trauma in the essay about the ending of Chihayafuru I’m so classy.

But the biggest thing is CHIHAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REJECT ARATA BEFORE CONFESSING TO THE GUY SHE LIKES. Like you guys are fricking weird placing more importance over Arata’s feelings INSTEAD OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? IT’S HER ARC OF SELF DISCOVERY AND I WOULD NOT HAVE EXPECTED HER TO GO BACK AND TALK TO TAICHI BEFORE ACCEPTING ARATA’S CONFESSION EITHER.

It’s funny coming from the people being like “I SHIP THE SHIP WHERE THE GIRL CLEARLY LIKES THE GUY AND YOU LOSERS ARE NOT RESPECTING HER AGENCY CAUSE SHE REJECTED THE OTHER” the way that broke down when the character picked the one you didn’t like or even consider could be still in the running.

So no, the story didn’t need Arata to be re-rejected in a more formal manner in the ways you guys are suggesting. However, I do think some aftermath for Arata’s story was actually necessary as he didn’t feel like he fully “grew up” compared to Taichi and Chihaya. Then my wish was granted because in the spin off chapter we see Arata coping with his heartbreak and moving to a new city without the expectation having his childhood trio back again.

LIKE in the spin off Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata’s relationship is honestly the best it’s ever been? They text each other more frequently (Arata learned how to use his cellphone) and Arata even talks to Chihaya without stumbling over his words and being awkward. It was so refreshing.

Obviously Arata was hurting a bit. After all, it was his first heartbreak and he spent idk 2 years with a crush on Chihaya? Now that he’s in Tokyo he’s feeling… lonely. Which is ironic because when he was in Fukui he felt loneliness because of the distance. Even so, moving to Tokyo was actually good for him because he is making new connections. Now he has a super cute girlfriend named Sumire who finally can appreciate HOW HOT ARATA IS and be the little spoon he has always wanted. The end! <3

I know most people hate the idea of “pair the spares” but Arata and Sumire have the most compatible zodiac signs so it’s not MY fault it’s written in the stars??? But honestly they aren’t “paired” together in the end, just that hey life moves on and Suetsugu is saying there are plenty other opportunities for love (except Suetsugu did confirm to me personally that Arata and Sumire got married so sorry bye).

Unfortunately there is more to say about Arata’s rejection though (which I am breaking up into smaller points).

2.1 - THE TONE OF ARATA’S “REJECTION”

I think one of the biggest problems with Arata’s “rejection” (or simply the confirmation that he didn’t get another shot when he moved to Tokyo) is the tone. I don’t think Suetsugu intentionally meant to make it funny (I can’t say for sure)… However, the abruptness of it IS SO COMEDIC FUNNIEST PART OF THE CHAPTER FR.

Like when I first heard that Arata was rejected by Chihaya and Taichi telling him they were dating, I actually thought this can’t be serious and someone was making a joke. BUT IT WAS REAL. It goes from a beautifully deep line from Chihaya’s confession to Arata saying “WAIT A SECOND YOU TWO ARE DATING??” THE WHIPLASH SDKJNDKJ

Like I’m sorry IT IS SO FUNNYYYYYY the million periods on that one page was for me because I was in disbelief.

I think the problem here is due to the absolute ROCKET SPEED pace of the final chapter. For whatever reason, everything needed to happen in the final chapter with little breathing room. I don’t know if I agree with that writing choice… I think the story could have benefitted from stretching this stuff out over 2-3 chapters.

In my perfect world, there would maybe be a bit of set up and wouldn’t go from profoundly beautiful line that had me wiping my tears to comedy? Maybe have Chihaya and Taichi planning to tell Arata to show that they care about him? (Even though their expressions say that they feel very guilty and awkward about it). So then it feels less like a joke and more like two friends awkwardly trying to explain to their friend that they are dating and break his heart gently.

To be honest who even knows if Taichi and Chihaya walked up with the intention of telling him they were dating (again what is he a parent they need permission from?) Maybe Arata saw something and inquired? Maybe they were caught off guard and were going to tell him after the tournament or something. Again, it’s not clear LMAO. What was important were these two facts: that the story ended with Arata knowing he wouldn’t have a chance with Chihaya and that Chihaya and Taichi did in fact start dating.

So for those who thought Arata’s feelings of love were very serious and profound and deserve to be treated with respect I can understand hell I can even respect why the comedic tone of his “rejection” would upset you. Even I was slightly /expecting/ a private conversation… not whatever this was.

However, again I think people projected that Arata’s feelings for Chihaya were a lot deeper then what they actually were. Perhaps this abrupt reaction is meant to say that his feelings were not as deep as people thought and he is a person who is able to brush it off and be happy for his friends? I guess he has more emotional maturity in that way… But he still has to make his stinky little joke. He’s 18 years old and I forgive him.

It’s his growth!! He looks like he’s about to throw hands with Taichi but instead he sticks with his incel joke!

I do get also why people were led to believe there would be some epic conclusion or at least thoughtful rejection because Arata still confessed to Suou that he was playing alongside the girl he liked. So it’s the result of the love triangle being kept so strictly ambiguous to the bitter end (after 246 you should have known but ok) that really did make some people look like clowns at the end. I admit, it could have easily been me, in your shoes. But I acknowledged my clowndom at every turn, so if it all backfired on me I could have left with a morsel of my pride.

So essentially yeah I think the tone being comedic was /probably/ the wrong choice. (Again what happened wasn’t comedic it was the abruptness which was comedic). However the tone was fine for me though. I liked having a little laugh after all of the trauma this manga put me through. Arata king you’re the funniest little guy fr.

2.2- ARATA’S STINKY JOKE

I don’t hate that Arata made a lighthearted joke and teased Taichi one last time after getting rejected (like the demon of Karuta he is). What I hated is the content of the joke. It felt very “wink wink nudge nudge” to the reader- like haha Taichi and Chihaya are long distance now and their proximity was THE ONLY REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE! (It never was).

You see I am of the belief that Arata blamed things outside of his control (living in Fukui) rather than focusing on the things he could control. Like responding to fking emails or text messages OR GIVING CHIHAYA YOUR NUMBER AND NOT TAICHI, BITCH BOY?? (I’m fine).

Like he is like “I am so lonely because I am not next to my friends” instead of trying to make friends with the people who lived around him too? Like ARATA I really feel for you, because you just like me fr.

So yeah, Arata’s joke did not land for me. It could go, and I would be happier. Also it makes Arata look like he didn’t have his moment of growing up even though his he was managing his negative emotions very well while his heart was being stomped on (those who know, know).

Let me reiterate, I don’t hate the fact that he made a joke, just that particular joke I dislike. My joke of choice: “haha you guys only announced it now because you want the Meijin to fumble in the tournament, nice try I’ll smoke your asses”

2.3 WHAT ABOUT CHIHAYA’S GROWTH?

This is the only argument I can /somewhat/ get behind. That if Chihaya had been able to reject Arata in a more formal manner then it would show how much she has grown. Yes, because one of Chihaya’s central themes is that she doesn’t know how to express herself at least in words and has a difficulty forming connections with people.

That’s why she clings to Karuta because it makes it easier for her to connect. However, I’m not too too mad that Chihaya still continues to have difficulty expressing herself. She told Taichi she loved him with a simple “I love you” and she rejects Arata with “I am dating Taichi”. Though simple, in both cases they clearly express Chihaya’s feelings.

That brings us to the whole thing of people being like “BUT SHE WROTE ARATA POEMS!!!” Like it’s some kind of GOTCHA that Chihaya always loved Arata and the author “forgot” INSTEAD OF IT BEING PURPOSEFUL? The point was her poetry was VERY BAD and that she still even there couldn’t express how she was feeling very well. SHE COULDN’T WRITE A POEM.

So while Chihaya has grown it is not so on the nose that by the time she leaves high school she is a perfectly articulated person with an elegance to with her words… Sometimes that is a struggle you work on for your entire life. The point is she has grown from the start, instead of forgetting Arata’s confession for like what was it 6 months? She makes sure to tell him the minute she sees him in person. Eyyyoo. Also she continued to reflect on her feelings and thought about love not just being the person you want to play in Karuta but something more profound.

I also think the bond that Chihaya and Arata shared was about as clear as the bond Taichi and Chihaya shared. Chihaya never explicitly discussed how important Taichi was to her to him EVEN IN HER CONFESSION… so why should she have to tell Arata that he’s important???

Then there was this idea that Chihaya needed to “earn” back Arata’s friendship after rejecting him (by telling him of his importance). DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?? You said Taichi shouldn’t have quit the club, he should have suffered through it and not received a single thing from Chihaya but yeah Chihaya needed to EARN Arata’s friendship. BE SERIOUS LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND THEN REFLECT ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU NO MORE.

Like there is just so many double standards for the way people wanted Arata to be treated vs. how they were cool with the way that evil villain Taichi was treated.

TL;DR

Arata did not need a private conversation with Chihaya where she reassured him of his worth as her friend or their platonic love. It parallels the simple way Chihaya communicated her feelings with Taichi. Arata did however need to be given time to “grow up” but it did actually happen in the bonus chapter. We see how the three of them have mended their friendship despite going down different paths- they are united though Karuta. I do think there is some merit to the idea that Arata’s rejection would benefit from a few more pages of set up so the tone wouldn’t be so comedic.

Overall there are some flaws in how Arata’s rejection was executed but nothing that breaks the story. Unless you were very invested in the seriousness of Arata’s feelings of love. You guys said you can’t find your soulmate at 18 you know that applies for Chiharata too right??

I’m crying because I’ve only really broken down two points of criticism and yet I’ve been talking shit for so long. SO unfortunately there will be a part 2 to this discussion that I will write /someday/ because I have only just scratched the surface. Just it probably won’t happen very soon because I AM TIRED GRANDPA.

But if you do want to see it like you’re gonna have to respond to this wall of text otherwise I won’t do it this took me so fking long LMAO.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @/AIMEEEFACE ON TWITTER FOR BOUNCING IDEAS AND I MAY HAVE INCORPORATED SOME OF HER THOUGHTS HERE ON MANY OCCASIONS

Thanks Charles Outty

#chihayafuru #Chihayafuru manga #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichihaya #chihayafuru thoughts #taichi mashima #Chihayafuru ending #Chihayafuru ch 247 #manga #arata wataya

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camsthesadgirlnow · 3 years ago

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my purpose [1]

pairing: beefy!bucky x black sub!reader, mistress!reader, rich ceo!bucky, [scandal show plot]

warnings: porn w plot?, smut, eating out, some derogatory words, explicit, cheating, submissive Bucky?, pet names [bunny, pretty girl], daddy kink, curse words, awful wife, hot Bucky, cock worship, body worship, talks of serving someone, blowjob

Part [2]

[this gif is hot🥹]

YOU were on the couch eating popcorn while watching on of your favorite film collection. The scream movies when you heard your phone go off. Sighing you picked it up.

I’ll be there in 5. Want you in that sexy lingerie I bought for you and your collar.

you squealed becoming quite excited when his message popped up. You turned off the tv and put the food away. Walked into your bedroom and changed into your red lacy lingerie. Walked to your drawer and placed the pretty little colar around your neck.

You walked back to your couch and sat on it until you heard the door open. He walked in with his all black suit that practically wanted to make you cum in your panties every time you saw him in it. He set his phone by the coffee table and made eye contact with you. A dark look in his eye.

he kissed you and his fingers moved down to your thong. “I knew I did the right thing when I bought you this.” He grunted, rubbing your clit with his fat thumb.

“mhm daddy more” you whined, holding onto his biceps

he groaned when he heard his name come out of your lips like that. Sounded like the voice of an angel and almost made him cum in his boxers. He’s been so hard all day, thinking about you, how you cry when you take it like a good girl, your whines and cute moans haven’t left his mind since he saw you last.

he went on his knees and removed your thong. He sucked on your bud like he hasn’t ate in days, slurping up your juices as of collecting it and not letting any drip go to waste. You grind on his face and run your fingers through his hair

“fuck” you mewl out “right there daddy”

your orgasm is fast approaching since he’s never let his face go between your legs. Your heart rate, increasing and sweat building up on your body.

“oh god, I’m gonna fucking cum, fuck, fuck” you scream out in pleasure, throwing your head back. Your orgasm so intense your legs shake.

After coming back down to earth, he lifts his body up and sits on your couch, sliding off his slacks to reveal his fat hard cock with pre cum oozing out at the tip.

“you know what to do кролик” he says keeping eye contact with you. (bunny)

you get on your knees in front of him as he opened his legs for you. You start to suck on his tip, immediately sucking his yummy pre cum. Moaning as the familiar taste hit your tongue. You sit up once more and take all of him in your mouth, down your throat. His groans motivate you to suck faster and take him deeper if you can.

“fuck” he groans, looking down at you as you work your magic. God this was a sight for sore eyes. He wants to stay in this position forever with you. Your mascara running down your cheeks “so close кролик. daddy’s so fucking close”

His hips buck up towards your face as his orgasm comes. You look at him to notice his expression. His hair stuck to his forehead as sweat collects on it, and you notice he clutches your couch in pleasure. You hum and feel his load shooting down your throat. You swallow it and slump back down to your normal position. The mixture of spit, cum, and mascara running down your cheeks and onto your chin.

“come here gorgeous” he says and pulls you onto his lap, using his shirt he wipes your face off. He pulls your shirt off you and takes a nipple into your mouth. shit by this point your probably dripping. You start to rub your pussy on his slacks as you become needy at the feeling of your wet nipple.

“rubbing your sweet little pussy on daddy’s thigh huh?” He smirks and you moan when he slaps your thigh “here кролик let me help you”

he lifts your body up, moving your pussy above his cock. He aligns his cock with your entrance, moaning when he stretches you out. The piece of the puzzle finally being found.

“holy shit daddy” you exclaimed

He chuckles “haven’t moved yet inside you bunny and you’re already cock drunk for me”

He starts to thrust his hips upwards and you hold onto his shoulders as you lose your balance. The sounds of your sloppy wet pussy lingered in the air as he started fucking into you like a mad man. Some tears betraying you and spills onto your cheeks as the pleasure just felt so good. Bucky was so good bringing the heaven to you, even if your actions would land you in hell. He grabbed your hips harshly and laid you down on the couch, thrusting into you so beautifully and violently that the couch was moving side to side. He brought his hand down to your neck and choked you. You being too fucked out to even notice your movements, you quickly wrapped your hand around his wrists and bit your lip.

“Yes daddy right there-ahhh” you drooled, letting it fall down your chin. In any other situation, you would be embarrassed but you don’t care as your orgasm was fast approaching.

Just as close as you were to cuming he took it all away. You whined when he slipped out of you and grabbed your collar and turned you around. Your back against his tattooed chest.

“hold on pretty girl, you’ll cum soon enough” he chuckled, slipping his cock right into your pussy. He started thrusting fast and you let out a scream that could be heard from a mile away.

“oh….oh my god…fuuuck” you said longating the word

His hand was clutching your collar as his other was holding onto your hip. His lips were brushing against your neck as he was groaning into your ear and praising about how tight you are and how good you fucking feel.

“d-daddy” you mewl out “need your cum- need it inside me. Please mark me daddy please please”

“Yeah?” he groaned and let go off your collar causing you to fall on the couch on all fours, arching your back “you want daddies cum huh? Make you into a little cum dump and only serve daddy forever huh?” His thrusts became erratic.

“yes yes yes” you sobbed rolling your eyes and let out a squeal as your orgasm finally approached you, your hands gripped the sofa as your legs were shaking. This orgasm took your breathe away.

you finally slumped down and laid your body on the couch trying to catch your breathe you felt his cum shooting into you, painting your pink walls white before he laid his head on top of you.

“good job bunny” he kissed your shoulder and slid out of you. He smirked as he saw his cum leaking out of you, wishing he could plug you up and get you pregnant. He zipped up his pants and helped you up, rubbing your back. He ran you a bath and picked you up, placing you into the bath as your legs were wobbly.

“come in….with me” you pleaded, your doe eyes looked up to his blue ones. He gave in and started stripping and joined you into the hot soapy water. His hands embraced you. The moment was very sappy and special despite it being wrong. But whenever you were with him the guilt washed away into passion. You loved him and he loved you more than his wife, Hayley who he believes is only with him for the money and title. He wants you there beside him but he couldn’t. His image would be destroyed on being a family wrecker. But it’s worth it if it’s you, he just doesn’t know how you would react.

“you should go back to Hayley, she’s probably waiting for you at home” you said sitting on your bed after your bath

“I’d rather stay with you” he said kneeling down, rubbing lotion on your legs

“go home bucky” you shook your head, he stopped his movements and looked up at you. His lips merely inches away from yours

“after y/n” he said sternly “she doesn’t need me right now. I’m here with you and I’ll leave when I want to.”

Your breathe hitched in your throat and you gave a small smile “okay”

He pecked your lips and went on his knees once more to finish rubbing lotion over your body. Lord this man was going to be the death of you.

🫶🏽🤍🤍

a/n: thanks for reading the first chapter folks. Second is coming out soon. Sry if it might take a while, I’m going to be busy since I’m a senior in hs. MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

#bucky x black!reader #black!reader #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes #scandal #ceo!bucky #bucky imagine #dilf!bucky #sebastian stan #reader insert #mcu imagine

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collectivecloseness · 2 years ago

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Just a Kurt Kunkle x reader drabble

You’ve seen Kurt get angry. Not just pissed off, ranting to you for hours, as he swears, and throws his arms around, while pacing around your bedroom mad - at least until you give him a good riding and angry fuck. But properly angry. So overcome with changing into this... this person who just shuts down, and got murderous.

You’d seen it twice. Once, with Bobby after publicly shaming Kurt for being a creepy stalker or something. Tweeting about him while right in front of Kurt. Who had only asked (to be fair, for the thirty second time) for the password to Bobby’s party. He might’ve effectively cancelled Kurt, if Kurt had been big enough for that effort.

But as Kurt watched Bobby make derogatory statements about him online, to the ‘fans’ he and Bobby shared, to the Basecamper’s, and the others who may attack Kurt, even more than he already was online, Kurt was silent. Something your boyfriend never was.

The way he glowered at Bobby, no pleading in his eyes that he usually gave the younger man, was deeply chilling. A side you hadn’t yet seen from him, someone who really was troubled, as his peers and family occasionally, you thought had joked, to you.

His fists clenched by his side, eyes staring up at the boy he’d babysat from behind his bucket hat and his fringe. You saw him shaking, not out of fear, or embarrassment, or whatever Bobby was trying to make Kurt, but with pure rage. Maybe effort to stop himself from slamming Bobby’s phone down, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d broken Bobby’s arm at the same time.

You’d managed to damage control in that moment. Bobby had still tweeted, and even though you knew it wouldn’t really affect Kurt with his low numbers, you knew he wouldn’t for a second think the same. But you’d managed to control the situation just enough, for you to all back off amicably. But as you linked arms with Kurt, when you were finally ready to pull him away, you felt how hot his skin was, how his muscles tensed, how stoney Kurt was. And you were scared that moving him would set him off. Set him free.

Luckily, with your arm wrapped around his, and your hand holding Kurt’s, as you gently begged him to come with you, he did so. And you left, wondering if your boyfriend really was okay.

After a sleep though, he was your same, loveable Kurt. Who this time was crying into your side, for fear people would be mean to him online, after what Bobby had done. And asking you for advice, advice on if he should post an apology or not, or record his side of the story or anything.

Rather than doing something about it.

Then the other instance, was when Kurt picked up a passenger as he had you in the front seat. It’d started well enough, Kurt quickly explaining who you were with a “Hope you don’t mind!” Smiles the whole start of the trip when picking this guy up, and holding your hand that he brought to his lips, as the guy said it was no big deal. Kurt didn’t even look back to him, he didn’t think much of him at all. He just gave a polite “thanks man” as he kept smiling to you, kissing your hand once again. Holding it the entire beginning of his drive.

But then this man had started getting creepy to you. Sexist, too, with the things he ‘expected’ of women. When he put his hand on your shoulder, that’d been the breaking point for Kurt. Who’d been defending you so chivalrously the entire time.

The argument outside the car, after Kurt had swerved to a stop at the touch, and nearly killed the guy in the process who wasn’t wearing a seatbelt (because he’d moved to middle seat to be closer to you), it just made things worse. Luckily he’d only banged his head, although you thought Kurt would be remiss if it was much worse.

There was no stammering, no Kurt trying to keep everything ‘chill’ afterwards. Just a proper rant built up in Kurt, as they both yelled at each other.

You saw Kurt’s eyes dart through his car’s front window, to the steering wheel, and as a huff of breath left through his flared nose, you swore you could read Kurt’s mind at that moment. And found yourself lucky that Kurt wasn’t in the car just then, and the guy outside. Because you were so sure he would’ve ran that man over. Without a care, any care at all. That Kurt would’ve done it, if he had been in his drivers seat.

The only times you got close to seeing this look, anywhere near you, was when Kurt was being very dominant in bed. It was different, of course. He didn’t look anywhere near like he wanted to kill you. But that strength, that composure, that wall behind his eyes that you hardly ever saw, and just made him seem so in charge... you felt like sinking into his arms in those moments. Doing anything he wanted. Which usually, when he was like this, was him wanting to governingly take care of you in the first place. As long as you promised him to let him do so.

You didn’t realise that look was here today because Kurt had come straight home from killing that man in the car, who he just saw outside your window.

Usually Kurt would’ve been exuberant. Manic, so high with how he’d slam dunked like that. How he’d won. Hyper with glee at what he’d accomplished. Raving to his fans! But Kurt truly hated this man. He’d deep scrubbed his hands, so this bastard wouldn’t have to touch you again, and he’d gone straight into pushing your legs so far down into the mattress, wrapped so tightly around his face, you could only scream his name as he let himself ruin you with his mouth.

#I thought of this when making the last dom Kurt drabble but I thought it better fit as it’s own thing #Kurt Kunkle angst #citrussy #Kurt Kunkle #Kurt Kunkle drabble #Kurt Kunkle blurb #Kurt Kunkle/reader #Kurt Kunkle x reader #spree 2020

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spooksier · 4 years ago

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Tumblr, crying shaking and throwing up: p-pwease plea s ee pleas let us make a profit just one tuppence pleas sir w-we're dyign pleas we are webbed site

every tumblr user (derogatory) at once: tase him again

#text!#this is so funny i love it <3 #have never seen such deep rooted animosity between a people and a webbed site #tumblr plus xoxo

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ddarker-dreams · 5 years ago

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Sweet Talkin’. Yan Dabi x Reader [COMM]

There’s been an abnormal amount of sirens tonight.

It should be unnerving -- and to an extent it is -- but this isn’t what keeps you awake. Not that, or even the dogs barking outside accompanied with an occasional derogatory yell. With a heavy heart, you can say that you’ve gotten used to all of that noise. No, it’s something different that steals you from the welcoming comfort of a deep slumber.

The thing that truly keeps you up is the anticipation of what is to come. Or more precisely, who.

The bright glow of your phone strains your tired eyes, but it’s your best shot at finding entertainment. Squinting at the blinding light, exhaustion seeps into your being despite your best efforts to ward it off. No matter how much caffeine you drink later on in the day, it’s not enough to to thwart your natural inclinations to sleep.

For most, nighttime is a relaxing time of day that’s coveted. It brings a time of solitude, to reflect and rest up for the next day. While you wish you could return to the days where you felt like that, it’s long behind you now. Instead, you evade sleep, in fear of what could occur when you’re in the defenseless state.

An illusion of control is better than none at all.

“You’re gonna get dark circles under those pretty eyes if you keep staying up this late.”

A deep voice rumbles from the entrance to your shared room, one that you instantly recognize. Even in your groggy state, your emotions heighten in his presence. Turning off your phone and placing it down, you stretch your arms out, a yawn leaving your lips in the process.

So he’s back.

“Yeah, yeah…” you grumble back, caring little for the teasing comment. After feeling around your nightstand, a click resonates, light illuminating your room. Once your eyes adjust, you spot your unwelcome visitor, who makes himself at home. Dabi walks towards you, your bed creaking under his added weight as he sits down. Untying his shoes, he throws them carelessly in the corner.

Sensing your staring, he looks over his shoulder and grins at you. “Awe, you miss me or somethin’? How cute.”

A groan leaves your lips, and you reach to throw a pillow at him. He easily deflects it with a snicker, working on taking his shirt off next. At least now that he’s back you feel more inclined to sleep, knowing that he can’t sneak up on you. Splatters of dark vermilion catch your attention, mouth curling downwards into a frown.

If there’s anything you’ve learned in your time with Dabi, it’s that you shouldn’t ask where the blood stains come from. Ignorance is bliss, right? It’s still an unnerving sight, especially since you know it isn’t his.

The relationship you two share is nothing if not unconventional. His occupation -- if you can even call it that -- has him coming and going at unholy times at night. Sleep is difficult to come by, not knowing when he might make an appearance. It’s what leads you to stay up some nights, a preferable experience to tossing and turning with anxious thoughts plaguing you.

As long as you stay in your designated place, Dabi holds true to his promise of doing you no harm. Thinly veiled threats under the pretense of being your “roommate” lead you to the current day, an awkward routine settling in. For all it’s worth, it could be worse. You’re acutely aware of what Dabi is capable of, having seen the ashes of corpses blurred out in the news.

Why he’s taken a liken to you is beyond you. It still beats dying, only by a sliver.

“There are some leftovers in the fridge,” you tap your phone, reading the time. Three in the morning. Great, and you have work tomorrow too. “I think I’ll give sleeping a shot now that you’re back.”

Dabi raises an eyebrow at this, a fresh shirt without blood stains now on. “You always sleep when I get back. It hurts my feelings. What, am I not good enough company?”

‘If I’m being honest, not really.’

He grins at how you shiver, lazily crawling over to be by your side. His sudden presence fills your nose with unknown scents, ranging from smoke to burnt leather. Underneath is hints of his cologne, all mixing together to disorient you further. Dabi loves riling you up, testing the limits of what you can handle.

You take a deep breath, hugging your knees to your chest. As long as you don’t let it get to you, it’ll be fine. He always gets bored eventually, leaving you to do as you please. That’s what you’ll aim for.

“It’s not that. I just have stuff to do tomorrow, and I don’t like being exhausted. It’s my long shift.”

His trademark grin melts away, furrowing eyebrows and a grimace taking its place. Mentioning your life outside of him is a tricky battle, and you can’t help but regret mentioning it. Being in a sleep deprived state is a major disadvantage in your interactions with him.

“This again? I thought I told you to quit. Rent or whatever won’t be an issue, I’ll handle it.” Dabi scoots closer to you, wrapping an arm around your bare shoulder. His skin feels rough against yours, coarse hands rubbing circles into you. You bite your lip at the sensation, hair on the back of your neck standing.

“I... I like my job. Sure, it can be irritating at times, but it gives me something to do during the day. I’d go stir crazy without something concrete to focus on.” The words are heartfelt, unfiltered. When he responds in silence you worry you’ve made a mistake, upsetting him with your defiance.

He huffs against your neck, lifting his head and shooting you a displeased look. His voice is a low murmur, one that reverberates into the core of your very being. “Always making trouble for me..."

Dabi’s grip around you tightens, and you gulp thickly. With how casual he speaks to you, it can be easy to forget the major power imbalance. Instead of greeting you with insults, or worse, he lightly flicks your forehead.

You blink, baffled.

“Don’t most people hate their jobs? I figured you’d be jumping at the idea of having more free time, or whatever. So you can focus on other things.”

It’s not a confession you were expecting, your cheeks flushing at the considerate nature of his words. While it’s true quitting your job is an appealing thought, it creates a semblance of balance within your now chaotic life. Helping you stick to a schedule, in the same way school used to.

Now feeling confident in expressing yourself, your taut muscles relax into his touch. “I’m too tired to think about it properly, if I’m being honest. I don’t know how you can stay up this late all the time without losing it.”

Deflecting from the previous topic makes you feel better. If Dabi notices your intentions he doesn’t point them out, allowing you to take control of the conversation without complaint. He must prefer it over when you’d just shake and cry in his presence.

“You get used to it, sweetheart,” he drums his fingers against you, smirking. “I’ll make a night owl outta you yet.”

Any implications in his words go straight over your head.

“As tempting an offer as that is, I think I’ll pass. ”

He shrugs at your indifference, removing his arms from your frame. The lack of enveloping warmth causes you to shiver, Dabi searching through his bag. You peak over his shoulder out of curiosity, his scarred hands settling on an object which he pulls out.

It’s a copy of Animal Crossing, in all of its beautiful glory. You wipe your eyes, unsure if what you’re seeing is reality.

“W-what?” you guffaw before your brain has the chance to stop you, jaw agape and head tilted. Dabi places it on your lap, and returns to his previous position of holding you. There’s clear amusement in his eyes at your stunned state, relishing in your every reaction.

“Did I get the wrong thing? This is that game you wanted, isn’t it?”

It had to have been a week or so ago. You lamented to him about not being able to afford this, not even realizing he was giving it any attention. To think he remembered, and acted on it for your sake... is a touching sensation. Maybe he is capable of selflessness after all.

The cute box art puts a smile on your face, one that Dabi stares at.

“I have to say, I’m surprised,” you pick it up, looking at the back with wide eyes. “Did the cashier give you a funny look when you picked this out?”

‘I really need to start thinking before I speak.’

He shakes his head at your blunt comment, not taking any offense. “I didn’t get it that way.”

‘Oh, well... better not ask more than necessary. There’s no blood on it so at least that’s a good sign.’

Wiggling free from his grip, you rotate your legs over the side of the bed, intent on getting your switch. An opportunity like this must be taken advantage of, and you’ve wanted to play this game for some time now. Dabi must’ve read your mind, and pulls you back to him with little effort before you get the chance.

“If I remember correctly, you said you were tired just a few minutes ago.”

He plucks the game from your fingers, and places it on the side furthest from you. What a cruel world this is, to have paradise so close and yet so far. You can’t help the pout that forms at his actions.

“The situation changed, I’m wide awake now.” you explain to an unmoved Dabi, launching over his lap to get your coveted game back. He picks it up, lifting it over your head with a chuckle. So that’s how it’s going to be.

Defeat settling in, you retreat for now. A sigh leaves your lips, arms crossing over your chest. You should’ve known better, Dabi has made it clear to you that he wants your attention. Looks like you’ll have to wait until after work to get a taste of Animal Crossing.

There’s a glint of mischievous in his azure eyes, one that you’ve seen more often than you wish. Dabi sighs in mock hurt, placing a hand over his heart. “Not even so much as a thank you for my efforts. That’s cold, babe. Real cold.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Thank you, it means a lot.”

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue. “That’s not what I was looking for. Try again, sweetheart.”

A flurry of thoughts fly through your mind, all competing with one another to offer a solution. Does he want money for it? He should know that you’re not capable of producing that amount, or you would’ve bought the game for yourself. Dabi gives you a moment to think, before offering the answer to you.

He puts his pointer finger on your lip, maintaining eye contact while doing so.

“Oh, t-that.”

“So glad to see that you’re finally catching on.”

It could be the summer heat winning over your AC, the room suddenly feeling warmer than it did a few moments prior. You look down at your blankets, focusing on anything other than the person in front of you. This level of teasing is nothing new with Dabi, he always manages to fluster you.

He sits, relaxed, waiting for you to make a move. There aren’t any other options that you can think of, so you give into what he wants. Moving closer to his face, you feel his warm breath fanning against your skin. Your hand twitches, pressing against his chest to offer balance.

Squeezing your eyes closed, you tilt your head, soft lips brushing over his own. All of your movements are hesitant, your entire body feeling like it’s on fire. Heart pounding violently against your chest, you move to pull back. Only to discover his hand on the back of your head is stopping you from doing so.

Dabi slants his lips back over your own, nibbling your bottom lip. You freeze, the unexpected affection leaving you incapable of reacting. It’s when you squeak that he finally loosens his grip, opening his eyes to take in your embarrassed countenance.

All things considered, it wasn’t an unpleasant experience.

You cover your burning face with your shaking hands, feeling the warmth emanating off of you. He makes it even worse by chuckling, the low rumble filling you with indignation. There never is hope of catching a break with Dabi.

“You might be the one with a fire quirk after all,” he leans forward, placing a hand against your hot forehead. “Mm... that look you’re giving me is too much. You have to be doing it on purpose at this point.”

Fed up with his relentless teasing, you smack his hand away and purse your lips. He props his arms behind his head, letting you glare at him to your heart’s content. From his lack of reaction, you get the feeling he isn’t too intimidated by you.

“Whatever, I’m going to bed,” you huff, returning to your side and pulling up the blankets. He doesn’t make a move to stop you, and you take the opportunity to lay down on your side. Refusing to look at him, you focus on the wall.

Dabi pokes your cheek, which you ignore.

He lets out a long sigh at your antics, joining you underneath the covers. You hear shuffling behind you, and can’t help but wonder what it is that he’s up to. Maybe he’s succumbing to his own exhaustion, and will let you sleep in peace? What a perfect world it’d be if that’s the case.

The thought is entertained for three seconds before you’re pulled against his firm chest from behind, toned arms snaking around your torso and staying there. His body is always so warm. It doesn’t help that you’re already embarrassed from before. Dabi grumbles something incoherent, placing his head in the crook of your neck.

Accepting the situation for what it is, you stop moving. He reaches over you to turn off the light, and darkness surrounds you once more. All you can hear are your own labored breaths, and rapidly pounding heart. It might be impossible to sleep like this.

You’ll call out of work for tomorrow.

“... Dabi?” you whisper, voice soft and barely audible. He grunts in response, nuzzling further into your neck. For the past few months, there’s been a thought that haunts you at every turn. One that you can never find an answer to, and have been too frightened to investigate beyond your own musings.

It’d be easy to play this off as sexual attraction alone, yet a voice in the back of your head says otherwise. That what Dabi feels for you goes beyond that, into a sinister territory that you want desperately to avoid. Why is it he’s patient -- borderline kind -- with you, yet cruel to everyone else? None of it makes logical sense, his actions erratic and seemingly without reason.

Maybe you shouldn’t know. Still, you ask, against your better judgement.

“Why do you like me so much?”

You feel how he smiles against the skin of your neck, the sensation stirring up unknown emotions within. He squeezes you against him once, letting out a low hum as he considers your words. While waiting for him to speak, you hold in a breath.

“Dunno. Just do,” Dabi offers a noncommittal response, one that leaves you greatly unsatisfied. It seems he’s not even aware of it himself, the effect you have on him unlike anything he’s ever experienced. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

“... Alright, I won’t.”

“Good. Now get some sleep, before I ask you to kiss me again.”

#dabi my hero academia #Dabi #dabi x reader #dabi imagine #dabi headcanons #yandere dabi imagines #yandere dabi #yandere dabi imagine #yandere dabi x reader #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #yandere bnha #yandere #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #yandere my hero academia #commissions

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jiangwanyinscatmom · 4 years ago

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Hi! So first of all I want to clarify that I'm not in any way saying jc isn't a homophobe, because I mean, it's pretty obvious. However back when I read the mxtx interview I read her answer as 'wwx acted all of a sudden very different with lwj, to the point where it was jarring for jc who had not seen him act that way before.' I do not think jc understood at all wwx's affections towards lwj, and this did not think it was disgusting because he saw it as flirting. (1/2)

I find it weird that people use it as a 'proof' that jc is homophobic when it's not straightforwardly telling us it's homophobia, and also since you know, the novel is right there and tells us far more clearly that jc is, in fact, a homophobe. (2/2)

So, here, I agree the interview isn't a stated full explanation in itself and not to be used as evidence alone.

I think that at the time it was not fully homophobia on his part when he had first noticed Wei Wuxian's attention for Lan Wangji in Cloud Recesses. Jiang Cheng had never understood Wei Wuxian's penchant for wanting to be around Lan Wangji and I think that his surprise of Wei Wuxian flirting with a man (He himself talks about how he never thought it odd with Wei Wuxian flirting with women all the time) Lan Wangji was always the strange outlier for flirting. It steadily devolves into more overt homophobia as they get older.

Cloud Recesses when they're 15,

Wei WuXian replied, “Yeah, I also thought that he should be praised for having the courage to come see me. He was probably told by his uncle to come check if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng instinctively felt a foreboding sensation, “Were you kneeling properly?”

Wei WuXian, “I was kneeling properly. After he was some distance away, I found a stick and started to dig in the dirt. The pile beside your foot. There’s an ant hole there that I went through tons of trouble to find. When he turned his head, he saw that my shoulders were shaking, and he definitely thought that I was crying. He even came back to ask me. You really should have seen his expression as he saw the ant hole.”

“…” Jiang Cheng spoke, “You should get lost and go back to Yunmeng as soon as possible! I don’t think that he wants to see you ever again.”

The part that sticks out here is the fact that Jiang Cheng feels any sense of foreboding at all for a silly situation that Lan Wangji had walked away from seeing Wei Wuxian was actually okay. It's the first seed of him continuing the line of thought that "He hates you". He is already feeling strange about Wei Wuxian's flirting and chooses to sort of project this hate into Lan Wangji for Wei Wuxian.

Lotus Pier summer after Cloud Recesses lessons:

I just thought of someone.”

Jiang Cheng, “Who?”

Wei WuXian, “Lan Zhan.”

Jiang Cheng, “Why would you think of him for no reason? Reminiscing what it felt like to copy sect rules?”

Wei WuXian spat out a seed, “It’s fun to think of him. You don’t even know—he’s just too amusing. I told him, ‘Your sect’s food is disgusting. I’d rather eat stir-fried watermelon peel than eat your food. If you have time, come have fun with us at Lotus Pier…'”

Before he even finished, Jiang Cheng slapped his watermelon off, “Are you mad? Inviting him to Lotus Pier—are you trying to torture yourself?”

Wei WuXian, “Why are you so upset? My watermelon almost flew away! I was just being polite. Of course he wouldn’t come. Have you ever heard of him go anywhere by himself to have fun?”

Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

Wei WuXian, “I never knew you hated him so much?”

Jiang YanLi sat down between the two, “Who are you talking about? A friend you made in Gusu?”

Wei WuXian responded happily, “Yeah!”

Jiang Cheng, “What a shameless ‘friend’ you are. Go ask Lan WangJi and see if he wants you as one.”

Wei WuXian, “Fuck off. If he doesn’t want me, I’ll bother him to the point that he does.” He turned to Jiang YanLi, “Shijie, do you know Lan WangJi?”

Jiang YanLi, “I do. He’s that Lan-er-gongzi whom everyone describes as handsome and talented, isn’t he? Is he really that handsome?”

Wei WuXian, “He is!”

Jiang YanLi, “Compared to you?”

Wei WuXian thought about it for a moment, “Maybe just a bit more handsome than me.”

He formed a tiny bit of space between two fingers. Taking the plate away, Jiang YanLi smiled, “He must be truly very handsome, then. It’s a good thing you made a new friend. In the future, you two can visit each other in your free time.”

Hearing this, Jiang Cheng spat out his watermelon. Wei WuXian waved his hands, “Forget it, forget it. All that’s at his place is bad food and a whole lot of rules. I’m not going again.”

Jiang YanLi, “Then you can bring him here. This is a good opportunity. Why not invite your friend to come stay at Lotus Pier for sometime?”

Jiang Cheng, “Don’t listen to his nonsense, Jie. He’s super annoying in Gusu. Lan WangJi would never want to come home with him.”

Wei WuXian, “What do you mean!? He would.”

Jiang Cheng, “Wake up. Lan WangJi told you to get lost, didn’t you hear? You still remember that?”

Wei WuXian, “What do you know!? Even though he told me to get lost on the surface, I know for sure that he secretly wants to come play with me in Yunmeng—in fact, he would love to.”

Wei Wuxian is still in the belief that Lan Wangji does like him. Jiang Cheng of course isn't amused by Jiang Yanli's indulgence in Wei Wuxian's daydreams. Wei Wuxian continues to, well, essentially pine innocently about Lan Wangji, his fellow disciples even encourage it leading to... Jiang Cheng sulking even further over the fact that Wei Wuxian is in fact pining over another boy. He puts two and two together as Wei Wuxian is flirting with the girls on shore later on and he talks of the things he will do with Lan Wangji as he visits. He talked of training with Lan Wangji in the same way he invited the girls to watch him train.

Phoenix Mountain Hunt

Lan WangJi suddenly raised his hand, stopping a flower tossed over from behind him.

He looked back. Over at the side of the YunmengJiang Sect’s riding formation, which hadn’t departed yet, Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue impatiently, seated at the front. However, the person beside him sat on a horse with black, gleaming hair. His elbow was at the head of the horse as he looked to the side as though nothing happened, talking and laughing with two slender-bodied maidens.

Lan XiChen saw that Lan WangJi had drawn the reins and ceased to move forward, “WangJi, what happened?”

Lan WangJi, “Wei Ying.”

Wei WuXian finally turned around, face full of surprise, “What? HanGuang-Jun, did you call me? What’s up?”

Holding the flower, Lan WangJi seemed to be quite cold. His tone seemed cold as well, “Was it you?”

Wei WuXian immediately denied it, “No, it wasn’t.”

The maidens beside him spoke at once, “Don’t believe him. It was him!”

Wei WuXian, “How could you treat a good person like this? I’m getting angry!”

Giggling, the maidens pulled their reins and went to the formations of their own sects. Lan WangJi lowered the hand that he held the flower with and shook his head. Jiang Cheng spoke, “ZeWu-Jun, HanGuang-Jun, apologies. Don’t pay attention to him.”

Lan XiChen smiled, “That is fine. I will thank Young Master Wei’s kindness behind the flower in place of WangJi.”

When they slowly rode into the distance, carrying with them the clouds of petals and fragrance, Jiang Cheng glanced at the colourful sea of handkerchiefs waving on the watching towers before turning to Wei WuXian, “Why are you throwing out flowers along with the girls?”

Wei WuXian, “I think he looks nice. Can’t I throw a few as well?”

Jiang Cheng pointed his nose into the air, “How old are you? Who do you think you are, still playing tricks like that?”

Interestingly enough, this flower scene is similar to what had once occurred during the summer of Lotus Pier. This is after it had been established that Wei Wuxian thinks Lan Wangji now dislikes him morally. Yet he still reaches out to tease and flirt with him, leading Jiang Cheng to continue asking why well into their early 20's is Wei Wuxian still doing this. It was excusable when they were younger but now this is inexcusable and troublesome for someone who is supposed to be his righthand acting on whims still and flirting with a man of reputation. Jiang Cheng actively had encouraged the rift between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji after the return from the Burial Mounds. He agreed very readily that Lan Wangji wanted to imprison Wei Wuxian instead of extending any help in regards to Wei Wuxian's volatile disposition that went on for years after this altercation, convincing himself and Wei Wuxian of Lan Wangji's supposed hate.

Wei WuXian was in such a state of distress that he couldn’t remember whether or not he called someone’s name at all. He only managed to pull himself together after Jiang Cheng commanded the dog to back away. After a moment of hesitation, he abruptly turned his head away. On the other side, Jiang Cheng left his seat. There was a whip attached beside his waist. With one hand on it, he bent down to look at Wei WuXian’s face. After a pause, he straightened up and asked, “Speaking of it, since when have you been so close to Lan WangJi?”

Wei WuXian immediately understood whose name he had unconsciously called out.

Jiang Cheng smiled menacingly, “It really is quite curious how far he went to protect you, back on Dafan Mountain.”

A moment later, he corrected himself, “No. You weren’t necessarily the one whom Lan WangJi was protecting. After all, the GusuLan Sect couldn’t have forgotten what you did with that loyal dog of yours. How could someone so celebrated for his righteousness tolerate the likes of you? Maybe he’s familiar with this body that you stole instead.”

His words were cruel and sinister. Every sentence seemed well-meaning on the surface, but was actually derogatory. Wei WuXian couldn’t bear hearing it any longer, “Watch your language.”

Thirteen years later his taunts have become more refined as he is well off into hating Lan Wangji himself now that Wei Wuxian had been dead. He taunts that Lan Wangji is more promiscuous than presented as well as using Wei Wuxian's old goodwill for Lan Wangji for him to go on the defense. Jiang Cheng however thinks using the fact these men are gay is only a tool, he does not believe they are as his disgust of Mo Xuanyu being gay does disgust him. His suspicions have turned into bigotry instead finally in the years that Wei Wuxian was gone.

When Jiang Cheng accused him, Wei WuXian couldn’t defend himself at all, but he just couldn’t bear it when those words were being directed at Lan WangJi.

Wei WuXian reprimanded, “Jiang Cheng, just listen to yourself. What are you saying? Is it appropriate? Don’t forget who you are. After all, you’re the leader of a sect. Insulting a renowned cultivator in front of Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu’s spirits—where is your discipline?”

His original intention was to remind Jiang Cheng to at least hold some respect for Lan WangJi. However, Jiang Cheng was always sensitive. From those words, he managed to make out the notion that he wasn’t fit to be a sect leader. Immediately, darkness crawled up his face, bearing an eerie similarity to how Madam Yu looked when she was angry. His voice was harsh, “Who is the one insulting my parents in front of their spirits?! Could you two please understand whose sect you’re in? I don’t care if you act so shamelessly outside, but don’t you dare fool around inside our ancestral hall, before my parents’ spirits! After all, they were the ones who brought you up—even I feel ashamed for you!”

Wei WuXian never expected such a huge blow to crash down on him. He was both shocked and furious, blurting, “Shut up!”

Jiang Cheng pointed outside, “Mess around outside however you want, whether under a tree or on a boat, hugging or otherwise! Get out of my sect, get away from anywhere my eyes can see!”

Hearing him mention ‘under a tree’, Wei WuXian felt his heart skip a beat—could Jiang Cheng have seen the moment where he crashed into Lan WangJi’s arms?

His guess was not wrong. Jiang Cheng did indeed go out to find Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi. He chased after them in the direction that the street vendors pointed at. A voice in his heart seemed to tell him which places Wei WuXian would definitely go. He caught up to them in just a while. Yet, he just so happened to see Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi enveloped in a tight embrace under a tree, unwilling to let go of each other even after so long.

Goosebumps immediately ran down Jiang Cheng’s body.

Although he’d made guesses at the relationship between Mo XuanYu and Lan WangJi before, they were only attacks trying to offend Wei WuXian, not that he really suspected anything. He’d never thought that Wei WuXian would have ambiguous ties with a man, because after all, when they grew up together, Wei WuXian had never expressed any such interest. He’d always loved good-looking girls with a passion. On the other hand, it was even more impossible for Lan WangJi. He was famous for his asceticism, seemingly interested in neither men nor women.

But hugging like that seemed intense no matter what. At least, they didn’t seem like normal friends or brothers. He immediately recalled that Wei WuXian had always stuck to Lan WangJi ever since he came back. Lan WangJi’s attitude towards him was also different from what it was before he was reborn. At once, he was almost certain that the two really were in that kind of relationship. He couldn’t turn around and leave, yet he didn’t want to say a single word to the two, so he continued to hide himself as he followed them. Every single look and movement that passed between them seemed different in his eyes. For a while, the shock, absurdity, and slight disgust that he felt combined to overpower his hatred. It was only after Wei WuXian brought Lan WangJi into the ancestral hall that the long-suppressed hatred was awakened again, devouring his courtesy and rationality.

Wei WuXian was holding something back, “Jiang WanYin, you… apologize right now.”

Jiang Cheng mocked, “Apologize? For what? For exposing your thing for each other?”

Wei WuXian raged, “HanGuang-Jun is only my friend—what do you think we are?! I warn you. Apologize right now—don’t make me beat you!”

Hearing this, Lan WangJi’s expression froze for an instant. Jiang Cheng laughed, “Well, then I’ve never seen “friends” like that before? You warn me? Warn me against what? If you two had the slightest trace of integrity left, you wouldn’t have come here and…”

Seeing the change in Lan WangJi’s expression, Wei WuXian thought he must have felt insulted by Jiang Cheng’s words. He was so angry that his entire body was shaking. He didn’t dare think about what Lan WangJi would think after being shamed like this.

Obviously in the penultimate scene Jiang Cheng himself is being "the unreliable narrator" that fans love to accuse Wei Wuxian of. He says he never expected this of the two, but all the years of his behavior shows that he had always gone out of his way to keep the two away from each other and had always been mildly homophobic when the two did express interest in the other however innocent it had been in their youth.

All of this is to say, when it comes to how MXTX worded that interview answer, I think it was meant as a careful nudge for those who had still tried to insist that Jiang Cheng didn't mean to be homophobic, actually wasn't homophobic and was just angry at any other actions of Wei Wuxian and lashing out about that etc, it was her telling people to simply pay attention to the underlying shadowing of Jiang Cheng and how he exasperated his own pre-existing biases that morphed into an uglier hate.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #anti jiang cheng #but not really cause i love him #Jiang Cheng's canon homophobia #so so long I am so sorry this turned into a massive breakdown of your one question #but that's what happens with a day off lol #don't mind me #asks

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