#crowley is just trying to impress Aziraphale

[ineffablehubbys]

Something about this is just so incredibly Crowley coded of him…

[knifeforkspooncup]

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I made this silly little art, and then like a being possessed, wrote 1200 words of pure unadulterated hogwash to go with it (ficlet below the cut)

Duck Duck Goose

Rating: Teen and up

"Shouldn't be feeding them bread." Crowley said, trying and failing to ward off an irate goose with the pointed toe of his boot. "It’s brioche." Aziraphale chided, as if that explained anything. A nattering crowd of ducks was forming at his feet like eager disciples. Crowley didn't ask where he'd gotten the brioche. He'd stuck his chilly hands into Aziraphale's pockets enough times now to know the list of things the angel kept on his person at any given moment was - well, impressive was one word for it. In the way a magpie's hoard of oddities was impressive. A brioche was quite pedestrian, really. "Brioche then.” The goose had moved on to striking repeatedly for his ankles, more pit viper than waterfowl. “Shouldn’t. Feed them. Brioche,” he gritted between defensive maneuvers. He never had gotten the hang of sword fighting. If Aziraphale heard, he pretended not to, ripping off hunks of bread at least double the esophagus diameter of the average mallard duck. One at a time, he tossed them lazily into the fray. The ducks erupted into chattering, nipping each other’s feathers. A shark frenzy had more natural order to it.

The goose took no interest, bloodlust overriding any desire for fine French baked goods. If anything, it doubled its effort to latch onto Crowley’s shin. Had geese always had teeth?

Aziraphale beamed at the chaos, halogen bright. Humming with self satisfaction, he brushed his hands of crumbs, and settled back against the bench. Crowley diverted a sliver of bodily coordination to snake one arm behind him, weaseling into the warm gap left by the angel’s impeccable posture.

This was a thing they did now, apparently. Not watching ducks squabble over bread – that part was old hat. But Aziraphale tucking himself neatly against Crowley's side? For all the world to see. Like he was one of Crowley's wings simply stowing away. Frankly, that hat still had the tag on it. Still had that new hat smell.

This was rapidly becoming their new normal. Embroidery on the familiar weave of their time together. They still did all the things they always had. They still went to the Ritz, where the waiter still assumed Aziraphale was paying for the bill. Crowley still pulled out the angel’s seat like a proper gentledemon.

None of that had changed.

Just now they also held hands on the table between courses, and Aziraphale fed Crowley bites of dessert straight from his spoon. Sometimes they even did exciting things with their feet under the table.

Aziraphale called it canoodling. Crowley was pretty sure that was a fussy type of dog. The kind that wore bows on its head and left the groomer looking like an ornamental hedge.

Whatever it was, it was nice. More than nice.

Take today for example. The clouds were parting, birds singing – the whole production; the sun sparkled just so, really putting the ol’ razzle dazzle on it all.

There went Aziraphale, tipping his head back against Crowley’s shoulder, eyes closing. Lashes sun-gilt and fanning on his rosy cheeks. Straight out of a renaissance painting. A nice, expensive renaissance painting, on with real lapis lazuli pigment for the eyes. The angel really knew when to lay it on thick.

“Oh, that’s quite nice, isn’t it.” Aziraphale sighed, basking in the warmth.

See, nice? It was nice. Five hundred years of coming here, and this moment was the most nice it had ever been. Crowley remembered when this place was a marshy field full of roving geese and snuffling pigs. When the trees that made this nice bench were just scrawny little saplings, runty and wind bitten. Had the bench gotten smaller? It used to feel immense, and not in the luxury Cadillac sense of the word. Used to fit Heaven and Hell between them with room to spare. Back when nice was a four letter –

The goose sunk it’s – definitely toothed – beak into Crowley’s shin, just above the boot.

Satisfied with its grip, it started to flail, giving the impression Crowley was a chewtoy it meant to thrash to death. The small part of Crowley’s brain reserved for humility was starting to believe it would succeed.

"Dinner? How would you feel about a nice, tasty Christmas goose?” Grunted Crowley, shaking his leg and raising his free hand, demonic miracle at the ready. He had just the goose in mind. “With all the trimmings. Could even do some plum sauce on the side if you like,"

Aziraphale frowned, eyes still closed. “…it’s October.”

“That a no, then? Don’t want to get a head start on the festivities?”

Aziraphale looked up just as Crowley managed to dislodge the fowl beast and punt it away like a feathery football. It came right back, tongue stuck out like a rude child and wheezing angrily.

He tsked, mouth thinning. “You’re terrible. Leave the poor thing alone.”

Crowley sputtered. “Wha – ha – me?! I’m not the one biting a boot like a lunatic!” Would that work? Biting it? Maybe the goose would bugger off if Crowley bit it back. Should he bite it back? He should probably bite it, shouldn’t he. Oh, Satan, he was going to get feathers stuck in his teeth.

The infernal creature hissed, undoubtedly reading his mind. Crowley hissed back, tongue forking menacingly if only for the sake of his own ego.

Aziraphale was staring at him and smiling. Well, smirking. Fondly. The corners of his mouth pinching his cheeks, eyes crinkling under a raised eyebrow. He even had a dimple forming on his chin. Ridiculous. Something in the inner workings of Crowley’s chest did its best impression of a snare drum.

“Shall we, my dear?” Said the Very Ridiculous Angel, stirring from Crowley’s side. He stood and straightened his jumper until there were no more wrinkles. Seeing Crowley still engaged in boot-to-beak combat with the feathery fiend, he added tartly: “Before someone gets killed.”

Crowley grumbled something about demonic wrath and taking bets, but slunk to his feet. He flicked his glasses down and shot a final, venomous glare at the goose before sidling up to Aziraphale and offering his arm.

Aziraphale took it, wedging warm hands into the crook of Crowley’s elbow. He made it look habitual, easy as. Just the natural thing to do. Right as rain.

He was faster than Crowley, at this part. At the settling in. He’d taken to it all like geese to psychological warfare.

“You mentioned dinner?” Said Aziraphale brightly, ducks parting obediently at their feet.

“Your turn to pick.” Crowley’s skin was sizzling, water on a hot frying pan.

Aziraphale was quiet for a moment, face thoughtful. He took dinner plans very seriously.

“How about Peking duck? From that lovely place just around the corner, the one with the comfortable chairs.”

Crowley gave him a sharp look, nearly spraining an eyebrow in the process.

The angel was looking resolutely ahead, expression perfectly blank save for the way his mouth twitched at the corners.

I love you, blurted Crowley’s brain.

“Every restaurant has comfortable chairs,” blurted his mouth. It was a fact. Every restaurant did have comfortable chairs. Or else. So far Crowley hadn’t met a chair that cared to find out about the or else – chairs not being very curious by nature.

Crowley would say all the other things later, of course. All the sappy, corny, sweet-nothing things. When they were home. When he could wash the burn down with something whispered and sinfully filthy. Something that would make Aziraphale turn pinker than a summer peach.

Aziraphale was watching him, gaze unspeakably soft. “I know, my dear,” he said.

“I know.”

[fellshish]

Really sad to see the villainization of aziraphale in some circles i feel like it’s a dangerous side effect of the overmeowmeowification of crowley we need to babygirl that angel more he’s trying really hard ok he’s learning french the hard way just to impress crowley do you have any idea about un and une!!!

[triflesandparsnips]

So I understand that there are Good Omens show fans who have never read Good Omens the book, and that makes me deeply sad because--

Like, there's so much depth to the story being told about humans and humanity and the choice between good and evil -- and how that's actually a false dichotomy whoooops -- WHILE ALSO not really being about Aziraphale and Crowley at all (who are, imo, basically there as embodiments of "Impressive Failures" for the purposes of Theme and also Plot).

BUT IF you want to know why I've shipped them since the book-- here's the moment it happened for wee teenage me:

Wednesday (before the end of the world)

So it's Warlock's birthday party. And there are all these children and security guards and also an angel doing magic tricks while a demon is disguised as a caterer. This bit is basically the same as the show, so hooray.

But as wee me understood the characters up to this point, they were still basically enemies who had been in the field together for way too long and knew each other's moves well enough for the same tempting/thwarting of one another to become kind of boring and repetitive and generally pointless-- particularly once they realized that they could, for instance, just live their (separate!) lives watching humans being weird (Crowley) and seeking various sensory stuff (Aziraphale) while doing the least work necessary to keep their respective bosses off their backs.

The Arrangement was borne not out of hiding a friendship or anything, but instead the realization that sometimes covering for one another would just... cut down on their total overall workload. They were, at best, employees of two different, competitive companies-- though in same kind of department, doing the same kind of work-- who discovered they liked to have lunch at the same deli and that their jobs were sometimes distressingly more similar than either was comfortable with.

SO ANYWAY. BACK TO THAT WEDNESDAY. They're not covering for one another with this whole Antichrist thing-- they're now actively collaborating, and they've acknowledged (mostly) that it's not to cut down on their individual workloads, but rather to preserve their identical-- but not shared (not yet)-- goals of Getting To Continue The Lives On Earth They've Grown To Enjoy.

But like-- still not friends. Not really.

Until Aziraphale fucks up a bit, Warlock accidentally gets hold of a security guard's weapon and starts waving it around, and:

Then someone threw some jelly at Warlock. The boy squeaked, and pulled the trigger of the gun. It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork. Aziraphale blinked. A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle and soaked Crowley, who had been looking out the window, trying to see if there was a huge black dog in the garden. Aziraphale looked embarrassed. Then a cream cake hit him in the face.

My teenage brain exploded at this moment.

BECAUSE: there is no reason for Aziraphale to do that.

Work-wise: If he got shot, Crowley would get discorporated, but not die-- and anyway, it would happen in such a way that both of them could explain it away easily to their respective sides (and possibly even be commended for it!).

Collaboration-wise: If Crowley had been watching Aziraphale, and if he'd seen Aziraphale have the chance to change the gun but not do it-- then yeah, probably that would've been annoying enough to have warranted some chilly conversations once he came back topside, and therefore, Aziraphale choosing to save Crowley could've been a reasonable, logical choice to keep their working relationship on an even keel until they'd sorted out this Doomsday thing.

But Crowley was looking the other way.

Work-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and secret-collaboration-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and so it is, overall, really weird that Aziraphale saved him.

But his automatic reaction-- in a blink-- is to stop Crowley from getting shot. And he knows it's weird-- he feels embarrassed that his sudden, unthinking reaction is to save his "enemy".

And the final bit is just a couple paragraphs later:

With a gesture, Aziraphale turned the rest of the guns into water pistols as well, and walked out.

SO LOOK: He changed only the pistol about to shoot Crowley. His automatic reaction had nothing to do with saving a party full of humans, many of them children-- nothing to do with Heaven or Hell-- nothing to do with preserving the coworker he needs to stop Armageddon--

It was all to do with saving Crowley. Who may be the enemy, but he's Aziraphale's enemy. And another part of his life on Earth that he's doing all of this just to preserve.

Which may also be, for the first time, the moment he lets himself realize how important Crowley in particular is to him.

...and so anyway, that's how I started shipping these two immortal idiots, and one of many reasons why everyone should read the book.

[garmrheim]

POV: you have amused the giant forest serpent whos decided not to eat you...yet

Or more like Naga!au but Aziraphale is just insanely old and bigger than most of the trees around and therefore ofcourse becomes the prime prize every season for suitors to try and impress... Crowley is an outsider whos yet to really catch up size wise but after daring to interrrupt Aziraphales tanning session in HIS sunspot, He was deemed cute enough to not eat. for now.

[gildalilli]

Feeling absolutely feral about 1941 Aziraphale, having just realised he is in love with Crowley, IMMEDIATELY deciding to seduce him with a flashy rescue of his own.

Boy started scheming and showing off immediately. "Are you sure there isn't something I can do for you.... in return?" He's trying to find a way to make a mirrored love declaration! Then oh goodness, would you look at that, the bottles smashed and my demon seems to be in a bit of a pickle! Time for me to speak his love language and rescue him back! Let me just talk myself up and impress him! I'm the magician of the Pharaohs, I was trained by the best! Look at all the things in the shop I have knowledge of. Impressed yet, dear heart, love of my life? Ohhh a gun trick, I'm going to look so cool and manly! I know you love James Bond and Danger (tm), so I'm going to let you LARP the action hero and shoot me and I'm going to pull off an amazing escape just like your favourite character. Isn't that cool and neat and sexy of me?

The man is SHOWING OFF THE WHOLE TIME and the best bit is, even with the miracle fuckup, HE SUCCEEDED. He stuck the landing perfectly as he swept his sexy demon back to his place after a thrilling night of danger and smooth-as-fuck produced that polaroid over a glass of wine.

They've both loved each other for a very long time. But my god if Crowley didn't realise it right back that night after all that.

[alex51324]

More episode 3 rewatch!

Crowley saying, "it's different when it's someone you know," when Elspeth declares her intention to sell Wee Morag's earthly remains to Mr. Dalrymple.

If you haven't been paying attention, you might think that up to that point, Crowley has been putting forward a pro-body-snatching agenda--and that certainly seems to be the impression Aziraphale has picked up.

But he isn't. What he was trying to do was get Aziraphale to see the complexity of the situation: that sometimes--often, really--the choice isn't between a Good option and an Evil one.

Elspeth can rob graves, or she and Wee Morag can starve--both of those options are bad!

And surgeons like Mr. Dalrymple can either remain ignorant, or they can develop their skills using stolen corpses, which both endangers the (often desperately poor) people who are stuck supplying the corpses, and compounds the grief of the (also usually poor!) survivors of the stolen corpses. Neither of those is a good option!

But Aziraphale doesn't get that--he just makes a binary flip from "stealing corpses bad!" to "stealing corpses good!" And he certainly doesn't get as far as beginning to question the structural reasons why some people end up always having to make choices where none of the options are Good. (As Crowley is trying to get at, when he talks about Elspeth's chances compared to someone born in a castle.)

Choices like, uh...go-along-to-get-along with a fundamentally corrupt system, or Fall to Hell*.

(It occurs to me now to wonder whether Aziraphale has a copy of Huck Finn in the bookshop.)

[books-and-omens]

Okay SO. I have a question that I don’t quite have a satisfactory answer to. I have an answer, certainly, but—

Why is it that, as Aziraphale is being threatened with erasure from the Book of Life, Crowley is sprawled in an armchair half a room away?

This is Aziraphale distracted by the door as it opens. He is facing them alone.

Just—it’s a little odd, no? For Crowley not to be standing right next to his angel at a moment like this?

What I think is happening is that Crowley knows Aziraphale can handle this, and is giving him a chance to handle it on his own. Throughout S2, Aziraphale has been trying to establish his independence and agency (with taking the car, with being a forgiving landlord, even with saying that rescuing him makes Crowley happy but he absolutely has his own plan too). And Aziraphale has just done very impressive things. He blew up the halo, sure, but it’s more than that: Aziraphale becomes the ultimate arbiter on Gabriel and Beelzebub; he brings the Archangels and the Hell-folk in his bookshop to order. (Crowley’s expression as he observes that through the window? He is so proud and fond of his angel I could cry.) 

Point is: Aziraphale is seriously impressive here, and Crowley loves to see it. So Crowley has full trust that Aziraphale will deal with the current threat on his own, and steps back to watch the resolution.

Which—

As Metatron walks in, he says that Michael does not have the authority to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life.

Does… does Crowley know this? Is that why he’s sitting back, giving Aziraphale a moment of agency and triumph all his own? Believing that Aziraphale will know and invoke the rules? Or is Crowley’s languid pose camouflage? Is he as calm as he appears?

(A side question, of course, is whether it’s even true that Michael does not have the authority to act on their words. The first rule of season 2 is clearly never to trust Metatron. He walked into the bookshop at that moment, at the moment of an existential threat, and very literally brought coffee instead of death. This is no accident.)

So yeah, I really, really want to know what Crowley is thinking there. What do you know, Crowley? What do you know?

[returnsandreturns]

“You’re reading an awful lot,” Muriel observes, sitting on the stairs and watching Crowley sprawled out in an armchair with a paperback in one hand, held in a way that would infuriate Aziraphale. It’s a small joy, breaking in a spine, dog-earing a page, thinking about leaving notes in margins but wondering if it’s too far. He can’t wreak that much havoc with the possibility of having the glorious Archangel Aziraphale within close smiting range. 

“I’m trying to figure something out,” Crowley murmurs.

“What’s that?”

“. . .stories,” he says, vaguely, after a long moment of staring at the ceiling trying to reign his thoughts in. “Beginnings, middles, endings. You know.”

“I do know!” Muriel says, happily. “Do you know how many books I’ve read?” 

“Five hundred and thirty two,” Crowley says, dutifully. “It’s impressive. Gold star.” 

“Thank you,” they say, getting up to go over and perch on the arm of his chair, reading over his shoulder. “What do you want to find out?”

“How somebody who reads so many goddamn books,” Crowley says, clenching his fingers a little too intensely considering the book is still in them, “could pick such an objectively bad ending.” 

Muriel looks at him with wide eyes for a second before they say, sighing, “Oh, this is about Aziraphale again.” 

“. . .no,” Crowley says, scowling at them. 

They pat him gently on the back before getting up and walking over to a shelf to immediately grab a book. Muriel has been reorganizing the whole shelf based on their own system which is, frankly, ineffable. Aziraphale will love it. 

“Read this one,” they say. “Trust me. Actually, wait--"

They return the book carefully to its place and come back with a paperback instead.

"That was a first edition," they says. "Based on how you're treating that book, I think maybe we should stick with replaceable things."

He's accidentally set a few books on fire but has immediately either fixed them or taken the ashes an hour out of town to dispose of them, just in case. Can't be too sure.

"Oh, god, Jane Austen," he groans, sliding so low in his chair that he's almost on the floor.

"Pride and Prejudice," Muriel says, brightly. "I know I'm not the most astute with emotions and the more human stuff that the two of you were up to but I think it's actually rather silly you didn't start with this one. It was the blueprint, wasn't it?"

"For what?"

"For you," they say. "The story it should have been. With the ball? And the dancing? And your grumpiness comes into play. It all adds up, really."

Crowley flips open the book then freezes.

"Holy shit," he says, softly.

"What?" Muriel asks.

"He wrote in it," Crowley says.

[asexualenjolras]

I've finished watching season two, and I have some thoughts I needed to just get out. Neil Gaiman is a very talented writer, and the way he writes the Ineffable Husbands' relationship is so authentic and beautiful.

Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship is so much more complex than having them end up happy so soon after Crowley admitted his feelings for his angel. They've spent 6,000 years, as Nina and Maggie put it, not talking to one another about how they feel. It isn't unimaginable that Aziraphale would struggle with his feelings when Crowley finally admits how he feels.

Of the two of them, Crowley is more settled in his freedom. He has no ties to Hell, or Heaven, or Earth. He knows that he would be happy living away from all of that with Aziraphale. It's what he's wanted for a while, and he's content with the idea. We've now seen him ask Aziraphale to run away with him twice (once in season one, and once in season two). He's perfectly happy with that idea. And him telling Aziraphale that at the end of season two was such character development compared to him just screaming at his angel in the first season.

Overall, Crowley knows he loves Aziraphale more than Earth, or Hell, or Heaven and Maggie and Nina help him reach that conclusion by the end of the season. Nothing matters more to Crowley than Aziraphale. And we have seen him threaten to throw everything away for him twice now. He wants Aziraphale and Crowley is contented with the idea of it being the two of them for the rest of time.

However, Aziraphale has never wanted solitude. He's never once said that that's something he wants. Aziraphale's wants and needs are in constant battle with one another, and what he wants is ... to be good. His morals are objective, and he is burdened by his constant need to be good and to be fair - even if it means being unfair to himself. He's prone to self-sabotage. And he will forever put other people and beings before himself.

Aziraphale, like Crowley, knows that he is bound to Crowley for eternity. They are soulmates. 6,000 years of finding one another is evidence of that. But Aziraphale's trauma is so deep-rooted. It is engrained in him that he needs to be good. He believes it's integral to his being. He's spent 6,000 years doing his absolute best to impress Heaven and God, and his morals aren't going to change just because Crowley admits his feelings for him. He is, at the heart and soul, good. And he can't move past his morals and put himself first because that would be ... out of character. He's conflicted. But the one thing he is is ... good.

Aziraphale wanted Crowley with him just as much as Crowley wanted him. But he just wanted to try and balance Heaven and Crowley. He wanted Crowley to be an angel with him, and be happy and work together as they always had. He didn't want anything to change (he's so autistic). When Crowley told him that he didn't want to stay in Heaven, Aziraphale was confused and hurt. You could see it in his face.

And, integrally, he could have demanded that Crowley come with him, he could have been selfish for the first time in his life, but he wasn't ... and he couldn't ever be. He let Crowley go. Because he thought that was what was best for him. He put Crowley first and pushed his own wants and needs aside. Crowley told him he didn't want to go, so he let him walk out.

Importantly, we see him doubt. He stops for a split second and considers going with Crowley when he sees that Crowley has waited for him on the other side of the road (Crowley didn't go ... too fast this time, he stayed put and didn't run away - he waited for Aziraphale - but don't get me started because I will cry).

Overall, just as we've seen Crowley's want to run away with Aziraphale before, we've seen Aziraphale turn down that offer in place of doing the right thing (or, what Aziraphale feels is the right thing). This isn't new. And they will get through it. They just have a bad time communicating with one another.

One thing is certain, though: they are soulmates. And they will find their way to one another again. They have done for the past 6,000 years. It's ineffable. They are ineffable.

Neil's a genius. And the mirroring between their relationship in the two seasons is so well-written, and complex and I have so much admiration for it.

Anyways, that's all I can muster in thought. I'm off to cry because angst makes me sob. And I'm heartbroken. I'm so hopeful for a season three. I need to see this angel and ... Crowley again.

[the-ineffable-dance]

In this post, I took a look at the beginning of the Final Fifteen and how Aziraphale's walk back to the bookshop is not the look of an excited or happy angel... instead, it looks like he's upset and desperately making a plan. Whelp, it's time for the next step of the heartbreak that is the Final Fifteen... Aziraphale's dance.

The first thing that happens when Aziraphale enters the bookshop is Nina and Maggie head out from their chat with Crowley. We follow them out, and the camera leaves them and joins the Metatron as he approaches Muriel on the patio reading a book. He checks in on her, and then straightens up, turning around. This gives him the perfect vantage point to stare straight into the bookshop window right at where our angel and demon are talking.

As you can see in the gif above, Aziraphale can see him from where he's standing. Before he even looks at Crowley, he sees the Metatron through the window.

Crowely starts his confession. He doesn't get very far... but really, he doesn't need to. These are two beings who know each other so well they can tell by tone of voice how the other is feeling. And Aziraphale knows just from the tone what Crowley is trying to say. There's a reason that it's taken them 6000 years to say how they feel... it's dangerous. It was never an unnecessary fear on their part, it was a very real and very present danger. And now, Crowley is about to say all the things that Aziraphale wants to hear, and the danger IS STARING AT THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW.

He hasn't even really looked at Crowley yet... heard the tone that Crowley was using, and looking out the window... Yep! Metatron, right there. Note his hands. Up and down. I didn't watch all of Extraordinary Attorney Woo for nothing! Those are "woah woah" hands. Like, stop talking, stop talking, STOP TALKING.

When he finally does look at Crowley, that's not a happy face. Not the face of someone that's finally hearing the confession they've been longing for for millennia. Michael Sheen has given Aziraphale the most endearing heart eyes throughout season 2...

But no heart eyes here? If everything went great with the Metatron and Aziraphale is completely on board with returning to Heaven with Crowley by his side, why in the world would he interrupt this moment? Letting Crowley profess his love would only strengthen Aziraphale's push to stay together. It is "Incredibly good news" after all. No, things did NOT go well with the Metatron, and they are in trouble. And so, Aziraphale is starting to panic. Crowley isn't paying attention to the "shush" hands, or his repeated looks out the window, so the only thing left is to interrupt. Aziraphale's bumbling rush to cut Crowley off feels a lot like "I can't let you continue so you don't incriminate yourself."

SO!! Azi jumps in with his version of his conversation with the Metatron. The "Good News" - "I... (mouth working furiously without sound)... the Metatron..." I don't think it's 'normal Aziraphale stutter' in the moment between those two words. There are plenty of times when Azi gets a little tongue tied when he's too excited (either due to lying OR trying to impress Crowley). But usually when he does that, he looks up and to the left. Instead, this time he makes eye contact with Crowley and does not look away. If you look closely, I'm nearly certain that he mouths the words "We Need Help."

What convinces me of this even more is that Crowley begins to watch him very intently. He's frustrated... certainly! But he doesn't fall into their normal banter. No quips, no growling at being cut off, no gentle arguing. He can absolutely tell from Aziraphale's tone that this is his "Something's Wrong Voice" and instantly listens.

Then the full dance begins. Aziraphale does begin his normal stutter with the wandering hands... he's trying to not say the wrong thing here and make their situation worse while still being convincing that he's going along with what the Metatron wanted.

Crowley tries to play along... until the offer to become an angel again comes up. I don't think that Aziraphale knows just how painful that concept is for Crowley. And with good reason, because I highly doubt that Crowley has been honest with him about it. Aziraphale loves Crowley for ALL that he is, but since he doesn't know how hurtful this will be, he just blunders right into the offer.

Crowley is so hurt? (Offended? Enraged?) by the concept of becoming an angel again, that he can't keep up the dance they've been putting on for the Metatron. In fact, he immediately fires off "And you told him just where he could stick it then." It's not actually a question for Aziraphale... He knows they're being listened to. He's directly telling the Metatron where he can stick it. "We're better than that" = "We're better than YOU (Metatron)"

And we watch the smile fall from Aziraphale's face. IMO, there is no question that Aziraphale suffers from CPTSD. People (and people shaped beings) with CPTSD can have a very hard time when there is a sudden, unexpected emotional response to something they've done or said. He thought they were on the same page, and suddenly Crowley isn't playing along, and he's angry. Furious. And Aziraphale falls back on old habits as he tries to regain his footing... thus, the unfortunate comment of "You're the bad guys." It's a terrible thing to say. And I'm not trying to excuse Azi for saying it... but it was a trauma response to an unexpected situation.

"Tell me you said no!" "If I'm in charge, I can make a difference."

The dance is over... these lines are not for the Metatron's benefit, or anyone else's. This is real. Crowley wants Aziraphale to say no to the Metatron, regardless of the situation. Aziraphale thinks he can only thwart the Metatron/ protect Crowley and the world by going to Heaven.

Ouch my heart! Onward to Crowley's confession (and possibly a post about the prologue to this heartache and the conversation between Azi and Metatrash)

[wistfulnightingale]

A Mini-Meta Musing (#1)... Anything To Protect Crowley

I'm always a bit surprised at how Aziraphale is underestimated in the fandom. (I know he's in everyone's bad books rn, but breathe deeply and hear me out!). I've seen a lot of debate about how much, in his relationship with Crowley over the years, Aziraphale is rigidly fixated on right/wrong, good/evil, and uses it to push Crowley away. Sometimes, however, these discussions forget to take into account how often Crowley was punished by Hell. And Aziraphale knows.

Once he understood the constant risk of retribution the demon faced, Aziraphale's primary instinct and his self-appointed mission in the relationship became Protect Crowley. No matter what. Protect Crowley even when his friend is careless with his own safety. It's a huge factor in why he so often pushes Crowley away in later years, when they seem to be beyond all that. And I believe that it's also the real reason he built the bookshop.

Aziraphale desperately hopes the bookshop can help keep Crowley safe.

It takes a very long time for Aziraphale to recognize how dangerous their relationship is for Crowley. In the early centuries, the angel is buying the Party Line -- if you made it through the Fall, you're holy and perfect. In Eden, and again in Job's cellar, he misses the demon's ironic humor and is very caught up in holier-than-thou thinking. That doesn't exactly enourage Crowley to confide his secret shame. Our devil-may-care demon desperately wants to look confident and dashing and independent, not fearful and bullied. Eventually, however, whether Crowley confided or Aziraphale guessed, our foolish Principality realizes the danger, and he grows up a lot.

By 1601, at the Globe Theatre, he's more worried about the cruelty of Hell then Crowley is. Aziraphale at first *looks like* he's scorning Crowley's proposal in the arrangement, but he's actually trying, in his own way, to subtly "shush" Crowley's loud and daring carelessness. We know this because he then worriedly reminds the demon that, "if Hell finds out, they won't just be angry, they'll destroy you."

I propose that Crowley did actually get punished for his indiscretion in some way, sometime after that. When he shows up at the Bastille in 1793, sure, he's putting on fashion-model poses to impress the flirtatious angel, but he's also much less relaxed. There's a tension and moodiness in him that, chronologically, wasn't there in Essex or at the Globe. He's cynical again. But he doesn't tell the angel-- not that we know of, at least. Possibly because Aziraphale is feeling flirty and practically radiant that his handsome friend came to his rescue!

The meeting at St. James Park in 1862 was a defining moment for Aziraphale. Crowley had been literally sucked into a Hellhole, screaming, for saving Elspeth in 1827 Edinburgh. At the park in 1862, he's visibly stiff, barely even turning his head, carrying a cane, and incredibly subdued in all ways. There's no energized pacing, no hand gestures or leaning in. He hardly moves. His corporation was included in Hell's punishment, and he looks broken.

Aziraphale couldn't possibly NOT see this. We know he was worried when Crowley was taken. We see this in present-day when he slightly bullies and borrows a phone immediately after remembering the events of 1827, just so he can check on Crowley! Back in 1862, he sees Crowley's despair and brokenness. Again, he handles it indirectly, and hurtfully. If he can't keep Crowley safe, he'll push him away, for his own good. Like an old tear-jerker classic movie where the little boy tearfully chases away his beloved dog so that the mean villain won't shoot it...

Aziraphale is an intensely emotional being who often seems overwhelmed by his own feelings, leading him to handle difficult situations badly sometimes. However, he's also incredibly loving. The former Guardian of the Eastern Gate is a protector by nature and by choice. He loves humanity, and risks his ethereal status repeatedly to protect them. He loves Crowley, his best friend, whether he feels safe to admit it aloud or not. He'll risk anything, including the friendship itself, to protect him.

For 1800 years, Heaven didn't have an embassy in London. If Aziraphale just wanted a physical building to store his treasured collection of books, he could have done that. Heaven is a corporate hierarchy with paperwork and red tape. There surely were requests and filings and complications in trying to get an official Embassy authorized! Possibly he could simply have obtained permission to own a simple shop as a "cover" to fit in with the humans (like eating sushi!).

Instead, the bookshop is a Heavenly Embassy with miraculous protections. No one can enter unless first invited, not even angels. Only Crowley can freely come and go, at least until the chain of events at the end of Season 2. Prior to that, the bookshop is a safe place for them. Crowley is visibly more relaxed there. He and Aziraphale get along there, laugh and tease, and have their closest moments together. They are safe there, and Crowley can't be harmed within its walls.

This was Aziraphale's goal. He had too often felt the helplessness of witnessing how his relationship with Crowley put the demon at constant risk, even before 1827. From the time their friendship truly began at Job's home in Uz until Crowley was kidnapped by Hell in 1827, we never see Aziraphale try to discourage or end the relationship. Every interaction except Essex (537 A.D.) brought them closer together, and even Essex was quite collegial until Crowley first proposed "The Arrangement." Aziraphale hoped that creating the bookshop, with its protections, would help keep Crowley safe, or at least give him a temporary haven where he could relax and breathe more freely.

Imagine how powerless Aziraphale must have felt when 1827 slammed home the realization that he could never do enough to fully protect Crowley from Hell, or from Heaven for that matter. Yet, despite the danger, Crowley always seeks him out again, at continued risk. "Ducks have ears." Someone may always be listening. No wonder the angel unilaterally tried to end the friendship. Not a fair or emotionally healthy strategy, admittedly. But Not too difficult to understand.

-----

Final note, my own fun little imagining about the shop name: A. Z. FELL & Co. I know that adding "and Company" was a common business technique to make one's appear large and prosperous. It wouldn't be unusual at the time for a single shop owner to use, particularly for a property as impressive as Aziraphale's. But it's my personal belief, be it fact or headcanon, that the angel was entirely thinking of his best friend when he added "and Company" to the shop name. Crowley has an open invitation, Crowley is his guest, his companion. Crowley is welcome company. A & C. A.Z. Fell & Co.

[radioactive-killjoy]

I’m watching the Final Fifteen and at 40:49 I realize that you CAN actually see Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death through the window (which I’m sure others have pointed out but my understanding of the layout of that street isn’t very good), and then a few seconds later Aziraphale DOES look over at the window. So he knows that’s where the Metatron went and can even possibly see Muriel and the Metatron. In fact, Aziraphale looks to his left (Metatron) six times, plus an additional two when the POV is from behind him.

Then I watched the speech again. Now, I know that Crowley has always been more in tune with Aziraphale than vice versa (“I know what you smell like,” talking about Aziraphale calling for three reasons) but Crowley was not being subtle. He said he wanted to go first AND he says “Really?” when Aziraphale interrupts him. So Aziraphale is choosing to carry on anyway.

I’ve always hated when Aziraphale calls Crowley “the bad guys” because both seasons made it clear that Aziraphale doesn’t really see Crowley as being part of Hell. I thought it was out of character and needlessly cruel. But when Aziraphale says “We can be together…angels” it made me realize that he’s trying to get Crowley to read between the lines. Saying “I need you” was his last resort. Through the rest of his speech, he’s expecting Crowley to pick up on the things he’s not explicitly saying.

Whenever Aziraphale and Crowley have secret codes, Crowley always comes up with them. I’m thinking of “to the world” which is about more than the world. Crowley isn’t picking up on Aziraphale’s pleading because Aziraphale tends to be straightforward with him. Why wouldn’t he take this at face value when Aziraphale is telling him angel or bust?

Aziraphale and Crowley are exposed in the bookshop. This is not a private moment for them. He can’t be honest with Crowley for so many reasons, and this is BEFORE he knows about the real danger. When Crowley doesn’t pick up on what Aziraphale isn’t saying, the only thing Aziraphale can do is push him away. There is no other response he could have given to the kiss if he was under ANY impression that the Metatron was watching.

I don’t know if the Metatron really knows the extent of their relationship, but the moment he brings up Crowley as a sort of ally to Aziraphale, Aziraphale freezes. If Aziraphale showed that he valued Demon!Crowley more than Angel!Crowley, then that would raise suspicions. So he has to play it off like that’s what he would want. He has to say, multiple times, that he wants Crowley back as an angel. Anyone watching the show should know that it’s just not true. It’s Demon!Crowley for him, every time.

[aziraphales-library]

hello good people who guard this library ✨✨

thank you for your work, it has helped me find many fics I love that I'd probably never find on my own

I recently read a fic called rude awakening:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243762

where some people from the discreet gentlemen's club are trying to figure out what the deal is with Aziraphale, and some of them even try flirting with him, until Crowley shows up and they realise "oh, he's taken"

I know my request is extremely specific but, do you know if there's any similar fics of people flirting with either Aziraphale or Crowley until the other one shows up and they realise they never stood a chance

Hi! Here are a few fics sort of along these lines...

nothing can get a look in on my baby by midnightdragons (T)

Aziraphale stood, then (using a miracle to ensure that his and Crowley’s table remained open and clean), and turned back towards the demon, slightly distracted as he made sure to disappear from Mr. Brown’s sight with a brief sigh of relief — a sigh that was quickly cut off as he was greeted with something much worse than the posh, stuffy carpet-store owner. Crowley was leaning against the bar counter, slightly slanted in his position as he craned away from a man who was much, much too close to him, enough that the demon would’ve been able to feel the heat of his breath on his face. 

An alternate scene of sorts. Aziraphale is the one to rescue Crowley from someone at the bar, with just a touch of angelic possessiveness; after all, no one hurts his demon.

Just be yourself by Mimisempai (G)

Aziraphale gets the impression that Crowley enjoyed their last visit to the pub and suggests that they return one night. What he didn't expect was that this time the situation would be reversed, and someone would take his place in front of Crowley, and he would feel this all-consuming jealousy...

Saturday Night in Soho by Zeckarin (T)

Kait simply wants to have a few drinks, and hopefully get lucky and bring someone home. There's a cute man with pale hair reading in the corner booth. What could go wrong?

A Devil's Touch by untimelysteph (T)

“Why did it bother you, angel?” Crowley asked with as much gentleness as he could muster so he didn't spook him. Aziraphale looked ready to bolt out of the shop at any moment. “Because, well, because, he didn’t ask, first of all, and no one should touch you without your express permission. And, for that matter, he isn’t worthy of touching you. No one is.” The angel was properly worked up now, his hands flailing animatedly as he continued, “That is to say, well, that I suppose I’m just not used to seeing you being touched like that. By… by other people. That, um, are not me.”

Just Kidding…..Unless? by Aziwaphale (T)

Crowley wasn't jealous that Aziraphale was getting hit on by that barista. And he certainly wasn't jealous when he found them talking at the bookstore. So why did he pretend that he was dating Aziraphale just to make him go away?

Trivial Pursuits by gildthelilli (T)

“Here’s some Wilde for you,” said Josh, sliding his hand upwards. “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”...Josh’s hand was at the crease of Aziraphale’s thigh. It gave a rough squeeze. Oh. Oh no. “No, really, I’m flattered, but I don’t -“ Aziraphale was starting to get desperate. Some excuse. Anything to shake this human off. His heart was beating fast, his hands began to tremble. “I think you do,” leered Josh. “Look at you. Don’t resist, Zira. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.” “Joshua, I am not interested, you insufferable man…” Aziraphale trailed off as he looked around, frantic now. He looked to the bar, where a man – or something man-shaped in tight black pants - was pocketing his wallet and grabbing the bottle of scotch from the counter. Aziraphale swallowed, watching as Crowley began to make his way back over to the table. “I have a boyfriend,” blurted Aziraphale. ---- Aziraphale and Crowley go drinking at pub trivia when a man from another team takes an interest in Aziraphale. Crowley is not impressed. Shenanigans ensue.

And the one you mentioned...

Rude Awakening by Nonesensed (M)

Crowley disappears for close to a century and then comes sauntering back into Aziraphale's life, nearly bringing about a riot as he does. Aziraphale is suitably miffed.

- Mod D

[mrghostrat]

Haven’t been on tumblr in a long time.. I remember your streamer au, but nothing more. Id appreciate a small recap! :3

HII! for anyone who hasn't read it, it's a very slice-of-life collection of scenes for the most part, so there's loads of lil scenes i'll leave out of this. but here's a look back at the overall friends-to-lovers plot!

and they were streamers (10/16) (unfinished wip)

aziraphale and crowley are full time twitch streamers who live together in a london townhouse. crowley streams whatever he wants, usually toxic pvp games and "just chatting" hanging out and drinking. aziraphale streams all kinds of wholesome crafty content, such as cooking, baking, reading, and book binding.

crowley has been in love with aziraphale since... god, far too long. he'll never say anything because he knows aziraphale only sees him as a friend

aziraphale is bombarded with a hate raid during pride month, and is severely ill-equipped to moderate it himself. crowley jumps in to shut it down and fix his security settings to protect him further.

aziraphale brings crowley a cup of tea one stream (standing off-camera) when he's heavily focused on a game. he startles at the sudden presence, shouting "angel" accidentally for everyone to hear. aziraphale doesn't mind, but the chat go nuts speculating over the pet name and his relationship with his roommate

furfur, a sub-par streamer and tea-spill investigator, notes a connection on twitter between this "angel" and and old stream clip where crowley is caught ranting and rambling (very smittenly) about an "angel" in his life.

aziraphale's chat starts to wonder about the fondness between him and his elusive off-screen roommate

crowley posts in aziraphale's chat asking if he can have a bite of what he's cooking. he goes to the kitchen to try some, but the chat is too distracted freaking out that the notorious crowley is watching an aziraphale stream to realise aziraphale has actually handed a plate off camera. aziraphale seems troubled when he notices the chat is so beserk, so crowley makes a secret side account to send him a donation and tell him to keep up the good work

aziraphale comes home to find crowley in a discord call, playing party games with anathema, newt, and nina. he settles in beside him on the couch to join in.

crowley surprises aziraphale by raiding him at the end of his stream. he uses his 3,000 viewers to ask if aziraphale plans on going to a twitch meet-up in edinburgh. when crowley finally asks himself, aziraphale says yes.

the dark council, a huge and popular UK twitch team, tweets their curiosity about crowley's elusive roommate, wanting anyone with sleuthing abilities to spill the tea for them.

shaxx encourages furfur to investigate his theory that aziraphale and crowley live together, wanting him to impress the dark council twitch team to grow both their streams.

aziraphale and crowley drive to edinburgh together, playing games in the car, answering questions on twitter, and have a tense conversation on what to do if you harbour a secret crush. aziraphale thinks you should go for grand gestures, but crowley thinks it's best to bottle things up.

they attend the meet-up at a packed pub. crowley introduces aziraphale to beelzebub and promises to stick by his side, but as the drinks start flowing, they both get more comfortable to mill around and socialise on their own.

furfur, hired as the photographer for the event, arrives only after crowley and aziraphale separate from one another. but at the end of the night, gets a photo of them leaving the pub together in a drunken giggle fit, looking like smitten lovers. shaxx and furfur speculate they might be more than just roommates.

back in london, aziraphale makes plans for his holiday fundraiser stream. his viewers suggest a "roommate reveal" for £5,000. both he and crowley are flabbergasted that anyone is even slightly interested. furfur rushes to compile a tea spill twitlonger before the fundraiser.

while planning for his christmas events, aziraphale bakes a practise batch of angel cake on stream, crowley's favourite. he jumps up from the couch to eat a slice, accidentally wandering straight onto camera-- spoiling the fundraising surprise, and ruining furfur's tea spill. they're trending on twitter the next day.

aziraphale is hate raided again, but this time the raiders hack into his chat bot. crowley rushes in to reset the bot's data before they can export years of chat logs and sensitive viewer information. when the raid is halted, aziraphale is relieved, then devastated to realise everything has been wiped, until crowley assures him he made a backup of the logs, a la saving his books.

aziraphale finally realises he loves crowley. he's so overcome with affection for him, it starts to freak crowley out. crowley thinks he's getting swept up in the christmas season and is reading into affection that isn't actually there, and aziraphale thinks he's making crowley uncomfortable by upsetting the status quo

aziraphale becoems downtrodden by how closed-off crowley is being, and crowley panics when he realises he hasn't been subtle at all. he promises aziraphale hasn't done anything wrong and that he's just in his own head about their upcoming christmas party with their mods. aziraphale tries to believe him.

[actual-changeling]

with all the horrible things aziraphale said to him crowley should be allowed to weaponize it and use it against him.

aziraphale coming back to earth like "crowley i need your help to stop the world from being destroyed" and crowley barely looks up from the newspaper he is reading and goes "nothing lasts forever, so why not just let it go to shit, huh? you're good at that—leaving things behind."

-

"the metatron is trying to kill us all"

crowley, doing an intentionally bad aziraphale impression "what happened to 'i misjudged him' and 'heaven is the side of good'? i'm one of the evil guys, remember? world can go burn for all i care"

-

"would you please talk to me?" "there's nothing more to say, so no, i won't." "but-" "oh, what's the lOveLY human expression? hold that thought and then never think it again"