#i keep saying forgiven and meaning loved
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Aziraphale loves Crowley but...
(A clickbait title? Me? Possibly)
There's this thought rattling in my brain for a good while and I have to try to get it out.
So most of the fandom seems to operate under the impression that Crowley loves Aziraphale (since Eden) and that he is waiting for the angel to catch up with him.
This is evident across metas here, and many posts and comments elsewhere. Even fics (if I'm permitted to say that) keep dancing around the idea that Crowley never knows where he stands. It's not that obvious how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (especially to Crowley). Because Aziraphale is forever denying their connection (as if he didn’t have good enough reason) and/or also that Crowley, who is always open about his feelings, is waiting for Aziraphale to finally admit at some point (sooner than later please) how he feels so they can be together (...I'm not going there today...).
But I did have discussions with people from other countries and cultures. Notably @sayuri-of-the-valley who told me that most people in their country would assume Aziraphale is the smitten one and it's not so obvious how Crowley feels (he might be just toying with the angel?).
So I've been thinking about how Aziraphale feels from what we see.
In Before the Beginning, which is their first encounter, Aziraphale is immediately taken by the sweet, pretty, enthusiastic angel who seems completely oblivious to Aziraphale's hopes to be noticed.
We do not know if they meet again as angels or how long after their meeting the Great War happens. I would think this is not their only encounter. But it could be. I think they became friends and at some later point Angel!Crowley asked Aziraphale to join in the rebellion (or at least come with him to hang out with the guys and find out what it's about). But forever cautious Aziraphale warned him that it's not a good idea and refused and ... Crowley Fell.
Next time they see each other is in Eden.
They seem to recognise each other and Crawley is clearly pretty happy to see Aziraphale who does not introduce himself but Aziraphale gently prompts the demon to introduce himself.
Aziraphale seems a little unsure how they stand at first ... ...and I think it's because of what has transpired before the Fall (is Aziraphale forgiven?). But as Crawley gently teases him about the recently passed events, Aziraphale is assured and trusts Crawley as if nothing much changed between them and he readily admits he's given away his sword to the demon. (The truth of which he does not disclose to God Herself.)
Their relationship progresses as far as it can in the circumstances over the next centuries and millennia, they both care and look after each other. Until the next big heart-breaking 'break-up' happens. An impossible ask.
You can see how this request basically pierces Aziraphale's heart. He would prefer they don't see each other again than give in to such extraordinarily dangerous request. Out of the question! This would mean the end of existence for Crowley. He would not just be discorporated, not 'just' taken away. He'd be gone.
If they truly don't see each other for almost 80 years, this must have hurt so so deeply.
Next they see each other then, it's 1941. I know some people HC that Crowley slept until then but I think it's very unlikely. He seems to know what is happening with WWII, and besides, he has his car, which he says he has from new and you wouldn't buy a 1926 Bentley new in 1940.
So back to the husbands. Aziraphale might very well think he will never be forgiven for his resolute refusal of handing Crowley the one thing that can so easily simply wipe him from existence.
When Crowley shows up in the church, Aziraphale yet again is not sure where he stands. Is he forgiven? What is Crowley coming to do? (No, I don't think Aziraphale thought Crowley was coming with revenge or anything similar, I assume it's as he says, as Aziraphale assumes he's there because of his job, to do something for Hell). But Crowley assures him that is not the case and they fall into their usual bickering.
And all is well. Aziraphale breathes out and THEN Crowley remembers to save his books.
And Aziraphale knows he's forgiven.
When 1967 comes around and he hears about Crowley's frankly insane decision to get some humans to source holy water for him, the angel breaks his own heart and hands Crowley a double walled, securely closed vessel with the dangerous substance just because it's the safer option.
The next break up is...
After that they 'see' each other when Aziraphale's (soul? essence?) discorporated self finds Crowley drinking in the pub.
Crowley tells Aziraphale he lost his best friend... What is Aziraphale thinking?
Yet again, I suppose he's unsure where he stands. He did after all made a decision to do something Crowley disagreed with. And Crowley left. Twice. Aziraphale didn't want to run. He was going to try and find a way to save the Earth even if it meant to try and talk to God and whatever consequences would follow from that.
But Crowley is so gentle with him as he tells him his home burned down. He even has the one book Aziraphale really needed, somehow saved. So Aziraphale asks for help. They can do this.
And they do.
So we see Aziraphale through aeons, looking up to Crowley, admiring his wit, integrity, being exasperated with him, trying to keep him safe - from unreasonable requests just as much as from rash decisions and words that can have severe consequences. Aziraphale is an angel who is unlike any other. He finds himself, long before the rebellion of half the Host is a thing, in knowledge that some things should not be mentioned or suggested or criticised and he tries to stop this lovely angel he just met from getting into trouble.
Which he keeps doing for millions of years...
However. It doesn't always work. The angel Falls. He is hurt and abandoned by the God who made him and deemed unforgivable. He is threatened and punished when he just wants to be himself and Aziraphale sees all of this and loves him and tries to keep him safe and he is not always succeeding, having to make more and more difficult decisions.
And Aziraphale doubts himself. Is he good enough. Is something wrong with him. We see how anxious he gets all the time. They were never allowed to speak to each other about how they feel. For the longest time they didn’t even know how to name their feelings I’m sure. They didn’t make any promises.
They both hope, yes but where I see people HC that Crowley doubts an angel would unconditionally love a demon (maybe he does, but I don’t really see it - I think Crowley knows all that talk of fiends is just a cover), I also see that Aziraphale thinks he’s not good enough. That he can’t give enough and that it’s a problem (it is to some fans but if he’s ever holding back - ‘you go too fast for me Crowley’, it’s only ever to keep the demon safe).
But yes, I think Crowley thinks the chasm that can’t be overcome between them is the angel/demon one. Because She made him unforgivable. And Aziraphale thinks that their world would never allow them to be together (and he’s right) and he simply can’t agree to trying when it’s doomed to failure. If the run, how long would they have together? What kind of freedom would they have as hunted outcasts? So he keeps making these difficult decisions. And feeling so guilty for them.
The hardest of which we meet at the end of Season Two.
Aziraphale meets the Second in Command of the ruler of their world who 'invites' him to run Heaven. After Aziraphale refuses several times, we see him enter his home and tell Crowley that he got an offer and ask Crowley to come with him.
And Crowley. Says no.
And all the subsequent metas focus on how Crowley was betrayed by Aziraphale's 'decision', how Aziraphale does not deserve to be loved or wanted or be forgiven by the demon.
And how does Aziraphale feel?
Does Aziraphale still think he can be forgiven?
#I'm sorry#this isn't very christmassy of me#yes#i keep saying forgiven and meaning loved#and yes it's on purpose#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale my beloved#good omens thoughts#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#kaypost
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was writing this down for an ask but realized i was quickly getting off topic for that ask lmao. let’s talk about Dean’s handprint, the wild misinterpretations of it, and how those have affected how people read Anna covering it during her sex scene with Dean.
We have to establish the obvious first: the number one way the handprint is misinterpreted is to establish a romantic connection between Dean and Castiel from their very first meeting. Because of how popular the ship is, we’re now left with the unfortunate aftermath of people knowing the ship first and the show second, and therefore being more inclined to interpret the show through the lens of the ship. Needless to say, while looking at season 4 through that lens for hints of destiel is fun, it doesn’t lead to a thematically cohesive reading. The handprint is the best way we can demonstrate this. If we take the handprint to indicate that Castiel has been romantically interested in Dean since minute one, or even that he sees Dean as a person rather than an instrument of Heaven’s will at first (put a pin in that), then the rest of his character arc for the season is incoherent and meaningless. To assert that this is what the handprint is about takes the conclusion Castiel needs the entirety of season 4 to reach and transplants it onto him at the very beginning in order to make it easier to find evidence for the ship.
There’s a lot of media out there where interpreting it through the lens of a ship, even one unintended by the author, can enhance the original text. (Lest we all forget our Winter Soldier roots.) Supernatural does not have that relationship to interpreting it to be about destiel. A season 4 where the handprint means Castiel is in love with Dean is a weaker story and does a huge disservice to Castiel’s actual character arc.
So, now that we’ve established what the handprint isn’t, can we talk about what it is? Yes. It’s pretty simple, actually.
Think of it this way: To Heaven, Dean is livestock, and the handprint is the brand telling everyone (but especially Dean) what ranch he belongs to.
Let’s start with the obvious: it isn’t a metaphorical brand at all. It’s literal. It’s burned into his skin permanently (or at least, when the makeup department wants to put it there.) I’d argue that from the nature of it being notable as the only scar Dean has from being raised from Hell and later showing up during his sex scene with Anna that even if we don’t see the handprint, we’re meant to interpret it as continuing to be there for… well. The rest of his life, most likely. And that’s horrifying. The handprint is telling us two things when it shows up: one, letting us know that Dean’s resurrection was intentional and through a manner we as the audience don’t have the information to guess at yet. Anyone who watched the show airing, or watches it now without knowing about angels would have assumed demonic deal intervention as being the cause of Dean’s new lease on life, and this. handily. discards that theory. But secondly, it tells us that this resurrection was violating. All resurrections on Supernatural are.
We assume from Castiel’s line, you know the one, we all know the one, Mr. Gripped-You-Tight, that he’s the one who put it there. However, to then make a further leap that it was Castiel’s personal decision to do so is, I think, a misunderstanding of his role. Take that pin out now. Dean is not a person to Castiel at this point. They’re not friends. Dean is a tool for Heaven to use, a tool that should be honored and grateful to be picked up at all. Make no mistake: Castiel branded him for Heaven, not for himself. Castiel’s a ranchhand. They aren’t in the business of letting the cows run free if they look a little sad to be slaughtered later.
Castiel needs to start here for his arc to be as impactful as it is. He can’t begin rebellious. He has to learn how to doubt. He has to develop a personal friendship with Dean that threatens his allegiance to Heaven. He has to see Anna having chosen to fall rather than obey Heaven and to be betrayed by Uriel being so desperate that he’s turned to killing their brothers and sisters trying to find a way out from under Heaven’s control.
There’s another line I think gets misinterpreted a lot in this initial meeting. “You don’t think you deserve to be saved?” On its face, easy bait for someone looking for shipping fodder, but that misses the actual point of the line. It’s a powerplay. We don’t learn until later why Dean wouldn’t think he deserves to be saved (aside from his general Winchester levels of self-esteem, but knowing that trait about him actually serves as a pretty good red herring to mask real reason Dean is thinking about himself as irredeemable now until the reveal. It’s not that Dean had a low opinion about himself in general, but that he tortured people in Hell and can never forgive himself for that.) , but Castiel does know. All of Heaven knows what Dean’s sin in Hell was. Without saying it, Castiel can remind Dean of it here. This line isn’t about Dean being so inherently good that Castiel had to rescue him. It’s about making sure Dean knows that the only way he can be ‘redeemed’ is through obedience to the heavenly powers who own his ass now. This is how he deserves to be saved. Because God commanded it. Because they have work for him.
And if he doesn’t bow? Then, as Castiel puts it in the very next episode, “I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.” This threat hanging over Dean’s head won’t go away for the rest of the season, not from Heaven. The only shift is that Castiel’s continued doubt and disobedience levels the playing field between them. They’ll both be punished, rather than Castiel taking on the role of disciplinarian. (It’s a really clever way of dealing with that power gap between them, actually. There’s always a bigger fish.)
The handprint and Castiel’s early conversations with Dean serve as a reminder of the precarious position he’s in. We shouldn’t take him ‘being saved’ at face value, no more than we should take Heaven being good just because they’re the angels in this equation as a given. Dean hasn’t been saved. He’s being used, just as much (if not arguably more) than Ruby is using Sam. (Because at least Ruby truly believes this is for Sam’s benefit, in the end.) And the worst part is how aware of it Dean is. How could he not be? His entire stint in Hell is defined by how Alistair used him. He’s just been handed off to a different owner, one that will still happily push him into the thing they ‘saved’ him from the minute it proves useful. Dean needing to torture Alistair reminds us just how little his circumstances have actually changed. He’s not allowed to say no to this.
So. The handprint is Heaven’s mark of ownership. It’s Dean’s status as their tool, their victim, burned into his flesh and inescapable. What does it mean when Anna places her hand over it?
I’ll lay my cards on the table. I’ve been thinking about this for so long because the aforementioned tendency to assume that the handprint is evidence for destiel means that the scene between Anna & Dean also gets lumped into being interpreted as more evidence for destiel. For over a decade, I have endured people joking about Anna being jealous of Cas for getting to leave a mark on their boytoy. And that’s one of the nicer things the Supernatural fandom will say about a woman who they perceive as a threat to their ship.
So, not to be rude or anything, but fuck Castiel. This ain’t about him.
This scene—It’s a lovely scene, a fantastic continuation of Dean and Anna’s previous conversation into the language of a sex scene—is about two people who have both been used and threatened by Heaven connecting over that shared trauma. Before, Anna gives space for Dean to open up about Hell, but he can’t, not yet, and though she knows what he’s gone through, she hasn’t been there herself. But when it comes to what Heaven has made of them, she does understand. It’s an incredibly vulnerable moment.
You make the handprint about Dean and Cas, and you erase what that scene is about entirely: the way Heaven’s abuse has tangled itself deep into Dean and Anna’s lives, into their bodies, and how they can resist it, if only for a few moments together.
The handprint was never about Castiel at all. It was about Heaven and its dehumanization of Dean.
#not to be annoying or anything on this wednesday morning#but uh. handprint meta.#everyone else is wrong about the handprint and what it means. except for me <3 im special and the Understander of Soup Or Natural#spn#dean winchester#anna milton#castiel spn#annadean#i really did try to keep the frustration in this to a minimum and just discuss what the handprint is#eh. arguable how well i managed that. but i think i can be forgiven after dealing with over a decade of Incorrect Handprint Takes#and im allowed to be salty down here in the tags :3 hi. hi. if you think anna touches the handprint out of jealousy you are bad at watching#shows and bad at media analysis and i hate you. personally.#god no but seriously it flattens the three of them so much to say the handprint is about cas loving dean. it really does#its a disservice to castiel’s gradual rebellion. its a disservice to dean’s struggle in s4 of transitioning from an openly abusive dynamic#in hell to one that’s trying to gaslight him into believing he’s better off under heaven’s control. its a disservice to anna and her own#trauma with heaven and the way she connects to dean through it.#number one dean/anna enjoyer and i am SICK of it. justice for the handprint scene
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idk i do need to think more abt how ppls personal experiences interact w their Fandom Behaviors esp now that im less caught up in a specific fandom that was rlly bad about that lol
#txt#bc yeah sometimes it is rlly cathartic to see a character whos similar to someone who hurt you get hurt or even just portrayed as a villain#but at the same time its rare that ppl distinguish like. attempted objectivity & their subjective opinions on tumblr specifically lol#which i think leads to a lot of resentment#granted there r some people who ARE actually that crazy/fandom poisoned who do think like. e.g. liking rhea means you would have forgiven my#- irl abusive priest or whatever. & theres a good chance that fandom culture also creates such people. in like a vicious cycle yknow.#but idk im just spitballing#again just an example but. i dont rlly think i should have to write I Don't Have Religious Trauma Which Allows Me To Love Rhea before saying#- that i do love her & think some of her more questionable actions r not as unforgivable as many people make them out to be#which in turn means that ppl who dislike her shouldnt have to say I Have Religious Trauma And Therefore Etc.#but like. idk. maybe the proper conduct here is just whatever leads u to treat other people with the most kindness#i think all of us should keep our minds more open
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good morning, saw the WORST slip up in my post at like midnight last night lmao pretend that didn't happen 🤣
#jrnlsht#i mean we all know who luke reminds me of 🙃#i didnt have to say it though#especially as i am still determined to keep that man off my blog from now on#there is still this gaping shocked ache in me that cant understand how nick went from telling me he loved me#and making plans to visit me in august#to cutting me off cold turkey and not answering my calls or messages the minute my illness turned from temporary#to scary real and maybe permanent#like ditching someone when they get sick is NOT love and never will be#i have forgiven him so much over the years i have loved him so much over the years#i thought he had me forever in that unfailing deep so strong it surpasses superfluous romance kind of way#but i was wrong#i cant ignore or forgive this
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Something I keep seeing when I speak to others about MTMTE Megatron is basically the idea that he's going on a personal journey to become a better person, that the point isn't for him to be "redeemed" but for him to get a chance to do good and die as a person he can live with again. That MTMTE presents a unique take on this because being away from Cybertron gives Megatron a chance to be a person rather than a political figure and this is how it gives him more depth as a character. Or just generally pointing out in a narrative sense that Megatron being in MTMTE limits his story options so of course his story is going to be more focused on a personal journey than on politics of him dealing with the Decepticons/Earth/etc and that just because JRO made a choice to take that path with Megatron doesn't mean that it's inherently bad.
And I'm just, mmm like I understand all of those points and acknowledge that they all contributed to the MTMTE Megatron we got. I even think that without JRO writing Megatron we wouldn't have had his lore be as fleshed out and 3D as it ended up becoming.
(Post starts out as a sort of meta analysis or at least me giving a reasoned explanation for my interpretation of the story, ends up being petty bitching in the last 1-2 paragraphs)
I just..... I just personally don't agree with the "he's becoming a better person by getting a chance to relax and experience happiness and trust after a life of trauma" as being the best choice for his character? Because the problem is that maybe if he were a random Decepticon foot soldier that would be appropriate, but he was literally the leader of the Decepticons that made them Like That and has political/cultural/societal responsibility for why things are the way they are? To be completely frank, I don't care about him going on a personal journey for self-peace, I think that he should become a better person by helping to un-fuck all the things he actually screwed up???
Like idc about the debate of whether he can be "redeemed" or if he should've been killed/imprisoned/etc at the ending. It just comes down to the fact that for me personally, I feel that since Megatron's wrongdoings were at a social level, him "being a better person" would've been better shown by him engaging with those people who he wronged instead of just going on a frigging personal journey for his legacy and self-peace???
Especially since in other series (exRID, possibly Windblade) we literally got plots like "the neutrals hate Autobots but they hate Decepticons even more" and "the Decepticons have been taken over by Galvatron and are now invading earth 2 electric boogaloo" and "yeah the Decepticons are literally living in slums because people hate them so much and won't give them any work." It just leaves me wondering why in the hell people are like, "oh Megatron got to be happy and have a chance to be a normal person." I don't want him to be normal! I want him to repay his debts to the people he actually wronged! Like if you want to cast Megatron as a hero of the people so badly (which so many of his stans do as if he actually cared about the Cons) then how do you reconcile the fact that Megatron just fucked off and left the Decepticons to suffer on Cybertron? Including some of them attacking during his trial and getting killed and Megatron is basically like "sorry, I'm not coming with you and this isn't going to work." And then Megatron complains about "toxic Decepticon loyalty" as if he didn't literally make them that way? Like I get that MTMTE Megatron is still an asshole but if you've read something besides MTMTE and know what the Decepticons are going through, it just ends up being really grating.
I just don't see Megatron as being a particularly good hero or having a particularly fulfilling story if he's completely isolated from all the bad things he did on Cybertron/the way the Decepticons are suffering until LL#25 where it's like "ah damn I'm going to trial now, well this is what I deserve so it's fine." Why could we not have seen something like Megatron trying to deradicalize the Decepticons or change their public image so they could integrate into normal Cybertron again? They were living in SLUMS and getting gunned down by Starscream's badgeless enforcers!
The best we got was the Functionist Universe but like.... I'm sorry, but JRO inventing a whole alternate universe for Megatron to save doesn't do jack shit to save or fix the people he left behind in this one. It was especially grating to read because JRO literally wrote in someone saying "you saved billions of lives from the Functionists" as if he was trying really hard to show how good Megatron is because he saved people (and also if not for Megatron existing Cybertron would be even worse and half of your faves would be enslaved or dead, also the Functionist Council was going to genocide organics too so technically they're WORSE than Megatron since they hate organics AND want to enslave their own race).
I read Barber's, JRO's, and MScott's series concurrently using the omnibus + a release order list for phase 3, and after all that I'm kind of puzzled why the fandom seems to ardently love MTMTE Megatron and think he's so well written but then also shit on Optimus for things that he did during the same points in the story? Because, and I know this is a blazing hot take, I honestly think that Optimus makes a better hero of his story than Megatron does for his, and Optimus' personal journey combines his personal and political identities into a narrative that's a lot more gruelling and questioning of his goodness than we got for Megatron in MTMTE. Which is fucking saying something considering Megatron committed crimes against sapient species and Optimus is the guy who tried to stop him from doing that and has always been pro-equal rights for all beings. But people pretty much just cherrypick things like Optimus annexing Earth or beating up Prowl and go "he's bad" and I'm like no??? IDW OP isn't a bad person or a bad character??? It's just that unlike MTMTE Megatron he's placed in a narrative that actually suits the nature of his actions and has themes that match. To the point that IMO sometimes Barber's narrative shits on Optimus excessively or paints him mainly in the most unflattering ways.
But like. It's just funny to me because Optimus spent his entire part of the story doing things like trying to stop Earth from being invaded/colonized yet again. Grappling with his identity as Prime and dealing with the fact that people literally worship him vs. the fact that his upbringing made him see the Primacy as nothing more than a facade of authority/leadership. Having people get mad at him for prioritizing politics over friendship/relationships with other people. Even getting shit on for being a cop a decent amount so people can STFU about IDW OP being "copaganda" or "not held responsible for his actions". The problems that Optimus dealt with were personal because they had to do with his self-doubt, culpability for the war as a leader of one of the armies, distance from his soldiers, etc. But all of these are also POLITICAL struggles. Because Optimus gave up on the chance to just be a normal person having personal struggles when he chose to become a LEADER, which also means that he's held to extremely high standards that he regularly fails at in the eyes of others.
That's why, to me, MTMTE Megatron falls flat in comparison and really as a "hero" or heel-face character in general? Because he also made a decision to be a leader, and IMO once you do things like become the commander of an army and start your own galactic empire, you lose the right to prioritize your personal problems and instead are obligated by the power you've chosen to wield to focus on your POLITICAL problems. If Megatron's power, influence, and crimes are of a social-political nature, then his heel-face turn arc and ways of showing that he's a better person/helping to heal what little damage he possibly can should have been shown with actions that help on a social-political LEVEL. That's why I'm not particularly impressed with his character arc and feel as if it was overhyped by other people in this fandom: sure, the extra character depth and emotion is nice, but I'm not really going to see him as extraordinary or even particularly good when the extent of him "becoming a better person" happens entirely on a random road trip to fuck-off nowhere. Especially not when the ending of LL tried to sell me a "they lived happily ever after" ending while basically leaving the freaking MUTINY as just Rodimus going "oh it's okay you're forgiven, we're all together again" and I guess everyone was fine with Megatron and wanted to spend an eternity on a ship with him just because Getaway died.
This is why I like (the concept/themes of) exRID/OP and the way Optimus' character arc was handled a lot more. Because for Optimus, the personal and the political were as one. He was held accountable for his actions towards others and the disruptive effects they had on a social level, sometimes to a ridiculous extent (the fucking "oh Megatron is an Autobot so now that makes the Autobots colonizers" plot and that stupid colonist screaming about how Optimus is "literally fascist" my beloathed). Even his very personal issues like his relationship with Zeta were still cast in a wider lens of, yeah this is a personal struggle that Orion faced, but he was still part of a Society TM and his actions were sometimes ill-informed or harmful to others. Even if I had a lot of problems with the way Optimus' story was written by Barber (plot holes, little meaningful character interaction, forced conflicts), at least the BASELINE of it was way better than Megatron's in MTMTE. Especially since Optimus' struggle was explictly about things like struggling with responsibility and how he feels he HAS to intervene in political affairs because has to save people/make up for his past mistakes. That's something that a good leader/good person actually does, so I found Optimus to be a better hero (even if his actions weren't all "good") because he was trying to be a good person by actually getting involved with Cybertron/Earth and subjecting himself to something he hates (leadership, war) and dealing with a shitload of criticism instead of just going on a fuckin "personal journey" lksdlkfsd.
Which just makes me extra salty that people hold up MTMTE Megatron as the pinnacle of Megatrons and literally the best Transformers writing evar! while turning up their nose and ignoring or outright despising IDW Optimus. Like okay. I guess since Megatron got handled with silk gloves on while Optimus got put through the wringer of being shit on by every other person in the story, it's easier for you to pretend that Megatron is a poor uwu boy who just needs friendship and love while Optimus is literally the worst bastard to ever exist. Or maybe it's just that since Optimus' story involves him sometimes fucking up, being criticized, or making things worse, that makes him morally bad. As opposed to Megatron who disrupted a lot of other characters' stories in MTMTE, had to have an entire alternate universe invented so that he could "save lives," and got to sail off on a quantum Lost Light happily ever after, so since he's happy and the story says he saved people that means he's a good hero.
#squiggposting#it started out sort of analytical but ended up bitchy#i also feel like for some reason my understanding of what a redemption arc is is different from others?#when i talk to people about it they keep saying 'well M can't make up for what he did'#and i'm like. no that's not what i mean by redemption arc#to me redemption arc literally just means 'a character goes from bad to good over the course of a story'#whether they're forgiven or if they can 'make up for it' objectively is irrelevant like#redemption arc is literally a common label used for the general trope so idk where this confusion is coming from?#also hot take when i say a character should be redeemed i'm literally not talking about wether they're forgiven or pardoned in universe#i just mean. as a reader. do i read their story arc and see them go from bad to good and progress in meaningful ways#do they do something. anything. to address or apologize or fix what they did#is there some sort of symbolic or literal sacrifice or act of service or any Good Thing even if it's only one single moment#then to me they've been redeemed in a narrative sense. it has nothing to do with whether they can literally compensate for hteir crimes#anyways. the tldr of this is that i don't hate mt/mte at all and i also don't hate idw M. i love them in fact#it's just i feel like i was severely let down by how much this fandom hyped and continues to hype mt/mte meg#(peg/gy the pirate spongebob meme voice) that's it? that's the M redemption arc?#that's just a guy going on a space road trip and being emo#mfs tried to tell me it was one of the best tf stories ever written and i'm like. yeah thanks but no#worse still ppl came out of m/tmte going 'actually M was right about everything'#and i'm like. shit take and you are spreading this nonsense everywhere including shitting on my faves w your bad takes#mfs wanna call M a hero of the ppl who at least cared about the cons when he literally left them for broke on cybertron#i don't think idw M had a good heel-face turn arc bc he didn't really like do anything meaningful in the wider scope of things#what if idw M achieved inner peace by protecting the cons and making sure they had rights post war. how about that#i mean for various reasons the story would've been more complicated than that due to editorial and company mandate bullshit#i just feel as if talking about the story narrative itself IDW M's redemption arc is far from remarkable#except for the fact that JRO dared to do it at all perhaps#(vine voice) that's my OPINION!!!!!
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whats ur favorite 4 koma with rime?
I CANT CHOOSE one of these
i love her reaction to being called cute i love her unintentionally pissing off coko i love both that she repeatedly steals food and also her distress at not being listened to when she confesses. these 3 are always on my mind. near and dear to me.
#asks#kuki#SHES SO!!!!!!!!!!#im definitely siding with coko in the second one but i still love rime.#some crimes cant be forgiven (not letting someone sleep) but we can let it slide for her#rime coko is such a funny duo in the comics i love them i love whatever dynamic they have going on#i firmly believe rime does steal food but also#considering they want her to be the responsible one it would also be SUPER funny if she didnt & was just saying it#to keep things under control. meaning kafu knows she didnt do it & thats why she doesnt acknowledge rime#both are funny. im choosing to believe kafu just wants to be dramatic & rimes telling the truth tho.#i like her a lot (everyone is aware)
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Another deaged Ellie and Dan, but Danny was reincarnated as Damian Wayne
Danny Damian because he was Damian now, wasn't he? He remembers now the Fentons, the GIW, Sam and Tucker, jazz. He wonders if they could have also followed him here. A part of him longs to see his fraid again, but are they his fraid still? He was a new person. Son of The Bat and Heir to the Demon Head. Something Dami he remembers reminding people of. If only Sam could see him now, he knows she'd love that. "Who's edgy now?" He can picture her saying. He can almost see Tucker laughing so hard he'd fall out of his seat.
Crack
The sharp sound of the thunder brings him to the present. He looked over at his clock, 3:00 A.M. The witching hour he can hear Ellie tell him with a mischievous smile on one of their flights around Amity Park. She loved to drag him and Dan sometimes Vlad if he was feeling friendly. Dan, his future evil self tormented by the deaths of all his family and friends, so hurt he got Vlad to rip his human half out so he didn't have to feel the pain. Ellie, his clone, created by Vlad to be the perfect son, too bad she was a daughter. Looking down at his stomach where their cores are now incubating, he couldn't help but wonder if Vlad had anything to do with this.
He shook his head as if that would rid himself of that thought. Vlad was a real fruitloop,but he would never purposefully endanger Dan or Ellie. Vlad, in his twisted and weird ways, did love them in his own ways like kidnapping and keeping him hostage to save Ellie. He had forgiven vlad for the desperate attempt to save his daughter, but incubating Ellie and Dan's cores would make him their father now, too. Ew, coparenting with Vlad does not sound like a fun time. He glanced down and lifted his shirt hesitantly. If he focused on his stomach, he could see a faint blue and red glow emanating from his stomach. Red, Vlads' color, he thought distantly. Hopefully, it didn't mean much. As if signaling him, the envelope they had carried with them to him fell off the bed carried to the floor by the slight breeze.
Lighting lumineating the bedroom, making the crisp white color shine for just a second. He tentatively reached down to grab it. He was being a baby. He was a trained assassin from birth, and his fear trained beaten out of him a long time ago. Some part of him whispered his father and Richard's teachings of being brave but not without fear.
He paused. Father would want to know everything. His past life, Ellie and Dan, the ghosts, being a halfa. He wouldn't understand, Richard would try to, but not even he could never really understand. He couldn't subject his babies to that. He couldn't live with the threat to being ripped apart molecule by molecule. His father's lack of emotional intelligence certainly would not help young halfas. He was fourteen again the age he was killed in his first life. The age he started facing ghosts from another dimension.
He started younger in this life. Killing younger, he learned to fight his whole life. Jazz would hate that. Jazz... he wondered if she was alright if she survived the attack... no, there's no time to think of that right now. He ripped open the envelope( like a band-aid, Richard would remind him), and he noticed Vlad's familiar fancy fruitloop writing immediately(he had fancy fruitloop writing now, instead of the chicken scratch Jazz chided him over). So he was right about one thing this had vlad all over it.
Dear Daniel,
Though I understand you might not be Daniel when this letter finds you. I have been reincarnated into another life as I believe you have as well. My new name is Alexander Luther. I own a corporation called Lexcorp. I unfortunately can not change the name according to my board. The idiot lot of them.
He snickered at that. His smile dropped immediately. Vlad was Lex Luthor, the archnemesis of Superman. Jon would most certainly not like this. He forced himself to read on before he spiraled further.
I regained my memories after an experiment went wrong. I know how original. My new incarnation was able to open a small portal that grew in size, and eventually, somehow Danielle and Dan fell through. The portal then exploded, and I regained my memories. Unfortunately, it destabilized their clone bodies. I couldn't grow working bodies in time, and eventually, I had to hope they could find you. I hoped somehow that the yeti doctor would have imparted some of his strange knowledge onto you that might save them.
Vlad, no Lex still wrong. Vlad was somewhat right about that. During one of his all things ghostly lessons from Frostbite, he told him of how in the old ages ghosts often incubated their ghostlings. A protective measure back when magic and spirits were more prevalent. He didn't really understand it back then, and he doesn't understand it much now, either. Apart from the fact he was doing it, he supposed. What if he did something wrong and he lost them? He doesn't think he could live out his half-life if he lost them again. He needed to get to Vlad, and quickly too so they could start building a new portal to the infinite realms.
If this letter finds you. Come find me immediately at these coordinates. I've gone deep underground to escape my new archnimesis's suoer senses. I've m started research on a new portal, but I'll need your endeneering skills. This world is severely lacking in ectoplasmic science and engineering. I am once again forced to start from scratch on my own. Once we get the portal open, you'll need to go straight to The Far Frozen.
It's as if he's reading my mind, I think jokingly.
P.s. One of my experiments may or not have regiven then my new DNA in an attempt to restabilize them.
Only Vlad.
Well, it looks like they actually were going to be coparenting after all. This was going to go great.
I sigh and lean my head back down on my pillow. He committed the cords to memory before lighting the letter on fire with the lighter he kept in his bedside drawer. Point to assassin training. Jason would be proud. He supposed he could stay for a month or so before leaving, which would give him enough time to get away or think of some kind of mission to give himself. He shoots up. Todd had died and came back. He was a revenant. He couldn't stick around if he were to visit he'd know something was wrong immediately even if he didn't understand it.
He sprung out of bed quickly, but quietly, his foot steps perfectly silent despite his rushed mood of packing a bag. He packed a few pairs of clothes and lots of hidden weapons, some snacks he kept hidden for that should keep him fed on his journey but leaving any sentimental things behind. He glanced longingly at his sketch pad, but Vlad was most likely under the water judging by the coordinates he was given. Who knows if it would survive.
He checked the pack, making sure he got all he needed. He promptly checked it again. Twice. After deeming it sufficient, he willed himself to open the door. He mentally cataloged everyone in the manor. Pennyworth was most likely still in Father's room, making sure he actually listened to his insructions. Richard and Todd in Bludhaven and Crime Alley, respectfully. Cain and Brown in Hong Kong. Thomas was sleeping after his dayshift.
Everyone accounted for except Drake. He was most likely using Pennyworth's attention on Father to work cases. He just had to take the risk. For his ghostlings, for himself, Vlad. He crept down the hallways. He was opening the grandfather clock in record time. He went slower this time. He would use his powers, but his father had supernatural wards of all kinds in the cave. Who knows what they did. He was also admittedly trying to save his little energy for his voyage on the open sea. Light snoring hit his ears as he peered around the corner.
Thank ancients.
Drake was sleeping at the batcomputer, still in his Red Robin suit sans mask surrounded by his poor choices. Empty coffee cups and files spread around. He would still need to be quiet, Drake was a light sleeper, as was everyone else in his family. He grabbed the keys to his bike quickly, sneaking by. If he wasn't ditching his bike at Gotham Bridge, he would have disabled his trackers. He checked the gas and made sure he could make it. That's when he made his first mistake.
Putting the gas jug back down, he accidently hit another of one of his siblings' tools to the floor. He tried catching it without success, but it fell anyway, the loud clang echoing. Mistake number two.
Shit.
"Huh? What's happening?" Drake arose sleepily rubbing his eyes.
He froze. Mistake number three.
"Damian? What are you doing down here?" His eyes landed on him, and he spoke confusedly with his voice heavy with sleep or lack thereof.
He panics. He's blaming the pregnancy hormones on this.
He runs.
"Damian!" Drake responded to his dead sprint with his own. "Stop!"
He reaches his bike, and he turns the keys and prays. Luckily, it comes to life. He fumbles with his helmet it would hide his tears he needed it. who knows if he'll ever get to see them again. He shoots off down the tunnel. Flicking the cave door open remotely.
Another bike rears to life behind him. "Damian wants going on?" Drakes voice echoes in his ears. He can almost taste the concern in it amplified by the helmet. He ignores it and accelerates. He ignores the returned acceleration behind him.
----------------
Tim has no clue what made Damian panic enough to run away. He quickly ran to his own bike while swearing. Damian is already gaining distance on him. After another attempt at getting Damian to calm down and talk, he calls the only person Damian would actually listen to.
He hopes Dick will forgive him for waking him at five o'clock in the morning on his day off.
#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#danny phantom#damian al ghul#damian wayne#dc characters#dc comics#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#batman#alfred pennyworth#danny as damian au#please forgive my writing#i promise itll get better once i get backstory building#de aged ellie#de aged dani#deaged dan#vlad is lex Luthor#lex luthor#tim drake#red robin dc
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WATASHI NO AIDORU SAMA!
summary: IN WHICH BLLK BOYS DATE AN IDOL!
characters: isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, chigiri hyoma, hiori yo, shidou ryusei, itoshi sae, michael kaiser, alexis ness.
warning: fem! reader implied
isagi yoichi
isagi is in awe of you. your determination, charm, and the way you captivate an audience—he’s lowkey your #1 fan. he’s also the boyfriend who overthinks everything. is he doing enough? are you eating properly? is his goodnight text too basic? but when you’re overwhelmed by the pressures of being an idol, he’s the one who brings you back down to earth with his soft smiles and reassuring words.
when he attends your concerts, he tries to keep a low profile, but the way he beams when you glance at him gives him away every time.
"yoichi, they caught you smiling like a lovesick puppy in the crowd."
"but you looked so cool up there! how could I not?!"
"next time, at least wear sunglasses."
"then how will you see me cheering for you?"
bachira meguru
bachira lives for the drama of dating you. the glitz and glam? he loves it. sneaking into your dressing room mid-rehearsal? absolutely. he thrives on making you laugh, especially when the idol world feels too suffocating. he even suggests the most ridiculous disguises when you want to go out, like matching frog hats or dressing up as old people.
he’s also not shy about flaunting your relationship, sending chaotic selfies to your fan club and saying, “aren’t we cute?” yeah, he’s banned from your socials now.
"bachira, stop posting pictures of us!"
"what? they love me. look, 10k likes already!"
"i will revoke your access to my phone."
"awwww :("
itoshi rin
rin doesn’t care about fame, but oh boy, he cares about you. the media knows him as the stoic, no-nonsense soccer prodigy, but behind closed doors, he’s your biggest supporter. he secretly streams your performances and even sets your songs as his alarm (though he’ll deny it if you ever find out). when you’re busy with schedules, rin shows his love in quiet ways—making sure you eat, sending random texts like, “don’t overwork yourself. i mean it.”
but paparazzi catching him sneaking into your concerts? yeah, that’s not part of his plan.
"you know they saw you, right?"
"tch. who cares?"
"rin, they’re calling you my biggest fanboy on twitter."
"...well, they’re not wrong."
nagi seishiro
nagi finds your idol schedule exhausting just hearing about it. but he loves you, so he makes the effort. he’s the type to show up to your rehearsals half-asleep, holding your favorite snacks. when you’re performing, though, he’s laser-focused, recording every moment because “you look cool up there.”
he also doesn’t get jealous often, but when a fanboy gets too enthusiastic, he’ll casually sling an arm around your shoulder and deadpan, “she’s taken.”
"sei, were you napping backstage?"
"mm. comfy couch."
"you’re unbelievable."
"but i got your favorite chips."
"...okay, forgiven."
mikage reo
reo is the ultimate boyfriend-slash-manager. need help with your contract? done. overwhelmed with schedules? he’s already booked a spa day for you. he’s your rock in the chaotic idol world, always reminding you that it’s okay to take a break.
he also spoils you shamelessly—designer dresses for red carpets, private dinners after concerts, and the fanciest bouquets delivered to your dressing room.
"reo, you didn’t have to buy out the whole bakery just because i said i liked their croissants."
"but you deserve the best."
"...i’m keeping the chocolate ones."
"all yours, my love."
chigiri hyoma
chigiri gets it. as someone constantly in the spotlight himself, he knows how draining it can be. he’s always there to hype you up, whether it’s helping you perfect a dance move or rehearsing lines for interviews. when you feel insecure, he’s the first to remind you of how talented and beautiful you are.
his favorite moments are when it’s just the two of you—no cameras, no fans, just quiet walks or lazy afternoons.
"hyo, do you think i’m doing okay?"
"you’re doing amazing. and even if the whole world doesn’t see it, i do."
"you’re too sweet."
"only for you."
hiori yo
hiori loves your passion for performing, but he worries about how much it takes out of you. he’s the type to leave little notes in your bag—"you’ve got this!" or "don’t forget to eat!"—and surprise you with coffee during long rehearsals.
he doesn’t love the spotlight, but for you? he’ll put up with it, even if it means sitting front-row at your concerts surrounded by screaming fans.
"yo, are you okay? you looked uncomfortable out there."
"yeah, i’m fine. just not used to being around so many people."
"next time, i’ll get you noise-canceling headphones."
"i’ll wear them if they have your voice recorded on loop."
shidou ryusei
shidou lives for the chaos of your idol life. paparazzi? fans? scandals? bring it on. he thrives on being the center of attention, especially when it involves you. he’s the boyfriend who gets caught sneaking onto stage mid-performance just to blow you a kiss.
he’s also fiercely protective, ready to throw hands with anyone who disrespects you. but when it’s just the two of you, he’s surprisingly soft, reminding you why you fell for him in the first place.
"ryu, you can’t just interrupt my concerts!"
"what? they loved it. besides, i missed you."
"you saw me five minutes ago!"
"five minutes too long."
itoshi sae
sae isn’t the best at expressing his feelings, but his actions speak volumes. he doesn’t show up to your events often, but when he does, it’s with flowers in hand and a rare smile just for you. he admires your dedication but worries you’re pushing yourself too hard.
he’s also your harshest yet most supportive critic, always giving honest feedback because he wants you to be your best.
"sae, was my performance okay?"
"it was good. but you can do better."
"...you could’ve just said you’re proud of me."
"i am. but you already knew that."
michael kaiser
kaiser adores the spotlight, and dating you? it only adds to his charm. he loves flaunting your relationship, whether it’s through matching outfits or casually mentioning you in interviews. he’s cocky, but his support is unwavering, always hyping you up like your personal cheerleader.
he’s also lowkey competitive, challenging you to see who can trend on social media first after a big event. spoiler: you always win.
"kaiser, stop refreshing twitter."
"i need to know if we’re trending."
"you’re ridiculous."
"ridiculously in love with you."
alexis ness
ness is the sweetest, most wholesome boyfriend. he’s constantly in awe of your talent and works hard to make you feel appreciated, from writing you letters to learning your favorite songs on the piano. he’s also your biggest fan, always gushing about you to anyone who’ll listen.
he gets flustered when fans recognize him as “your boyfriend” but secretly loves it.
"ness, are you blushing?"
"n-no! i just—your fans are so nice."
"you’re adorable."
"not as adorable as you."
© txrully :: 2024
do not copy, translate or plagiarize my works.
#isagi x reader#isagi yoichi#bachira meguru#bachira x reader#itoshi rin#rin itoshi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro#reo mikage x reader#mikage reo#chigiri x reader#chigiri hyoma#hiori x reader#hiori yo#shidou x reader#shidou ryusei#sae x reader#itoshi sae#michael kaiser#kaiser x reader#alexis ness#ness x reader#bllk x reader#idol
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Every single day i am overwhelmingly amazed by the effect people with influence have on the general public. Ignoring bad influencers and celebrities, famous people are so intriguing because some random person just decided that they were gonna do something like make music or become an actor or comedian and suddenly thousands or millions of people love them to death and it’s just so incredible to witness especially if you get to follow someone’s journey from virtual anonymity to complete and total stardom. Of course the ones who preach and condone bad behavior are not to be celebrated but they still did something that a good amount of people find interesting enough to care about and keep track of which tends to bamboozle me. Also cancel culture sucks. Yes some people are horrible and deserve no fame or recognition but there are so many people that make mistakes and then learn and grow but they get demonized for the bad thing they did even if it was years in the past and fans and critics alike never let it go. I don’t get it. There’s a difference in holding people accountable and trying to take away every ounce of success they have just because they do something a few people don’t agree with. There is, of course, also a line in the sand. Some things are unforgivable or barely forgivable and I’m not going to include examples, you can form your own opinions on what crosses the line and what doesn’t, but I think it’s worth discussing what those boundaries are and how they might differ in the minds of different people from different upbringings and cultures. Differences of opinion should be celebrated to an extend because our differences are what make us beautiful. That being said, similarities are beautiful too. Ok love y’all <3
#tpwk#i’n not saying people should be automatically forgiven for things#if people apologize don’t keep yelling at them#threats are never ok#anger is not the best path to resolution#speak calmly and kindly about things that bother you and explain your point of view without rising to anger or rudeness#STOP BEING MEAN TO PEOPLE IT MAKES NO SENSE#anyways#i’ll get off my high horse now#love to you all#p.s. does anyone know a good recipe for smoothies? i only ever make one smoothie recipe and i need more#thank you#goodnight/goodmorning#<3
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Kinktober 03/10/2024 Daniel Ricciardo- Hate Sex
Plot: You and Daniel get into a massive argument when he comes home after a race in a pissy mood for the 3rd time in a row.
Warnings: Kinktober, SMUT, eating out, oral (f-receiving), arguments between reader and Daniel, hate sex etc 18+ Minors DNI
The first time, it was a DNF where he’d collided on track in a fight for 3rd place with Perez. He’d come home, ignored you and the meal you’d cooked for him, got changed and went straight back out. You guys didn’t talk until the next morning, where things were a little tense until he cracked a joke and all was forgiven.
After that race you came with him and it was one of his best races, he was so happy and cheerful celebrating with you and all his friends at a points finish and with the podium sitters of the day. It was very fun.
The second time, it was the team giving him wrong orders and ending up with a cooling issue on the car that set him all the way back in 18th place. This time he didn’t even bother coming home and went out with Lando and Max for a week before coming back and acting like everything was okay. Of course you were a little hurt, but decided against bringing it up to him as you guys were okay!
The third time and it was a rookie mistake on his part, he went into a corner car to quick and didn’t break quick enough meaning his car was in the wall and his race was over.
He come home instantly this time, getting into Max’s jet with him on the Sunday straight after the race and ending up home at a decent hour.
He came stomping in through the door, his suitcase hauled through and left in the entrance way as he started to walk straight past you. You step in his way managing to stop him now that he was in your line of vision.
“Mmmmm yeah no way, not happening” you say to him crossing your arms.
“Please get out of my way” he says looking over you with an unimpressed look as to why you were actively stoping him from getting to your guys room.
“No Daniel, I’m sick of this! Everytime you have a shit race for whatever reason you become … I dunno Elsa or some shit. I’m sick of you running out on me when you can’t man up and fucking talk to me about this and think it’s better to run away, making me feel like ass and then come back the next day and act like nothing is wrong. It’s exhausting and I’m not doing this again. So we’re talking right here right now” you say pointing to the floor with your hands that had helped you embellish your points as you were speaking.
“That’s what you think this all is?” He asks his head cocking to the side, frustration still evident on his face but with who or what you are none the wiser.
“Well it’s fucking clear it is. When I have a bad day at work, you’re quite literally the first and only person I want to interact with. I get being angry but I can’t keep going on like this if you keep having bad races!” You explain trying to remain calm.
“Are you saying I’m not going to improve? Maybe this is why I don’t come to you, because you could never ever understand something as complex as Formula One and how much pressure there is from the team and other drivers. You could never understand what I deal with every day” he shouts at you an angry look in his face.
“You know what, maybe I don’t. But I won’t because you never seem to talk to me anymore. It’s so frustrating Daniel because I’m trying to be there for you but you won’t let me!” You shouts back, tears starting to roll down your cheeks.
“Maybe I don’t want you too! Maybe I’m so sick of your constant nagging and preening seeing if I’m okay and shit and maybe just maybe I don’t want that” he says, his face like thunder. Your eyes are so wet that you actually cannot see the instant look of regret on his face as he says that.
To you that was like he’d basically just said he no longer loved you. Daniel was the centre of your world and it revolved around him, Daniel was your everything and for him not to appreciate all you do for him and reciprocate those feeling was hurtful.
“I hate you so much right now” you cry turning away and running up the stairs to your shared bedroom. Daniel follows storming after you, he pushes you against the wall, anger evident on his face.
“Don’t walk away from me, and don’t fucking say that” he says almost glaring at you.
“Well, I wouldn’t lie to you. You’ve exhausted me these last few weeks and I cannot do it anymore” you cry looking at him with a frown, your brows furrowing in disgust.
You both just stare at each other for a little until Daniel leans forward and kisses you roughly. You are shocked for a second trying to push him away but his arms encase you against the wall, leaving you nowhere to go.
You guys eventually go into an intense make out session. Daniels tongue exploiting every cavern of your mouth while all you can do is lean your head against the wall and let him.
As much as you were irritated with him right now, and hated how he was acting, you couldn’t deny that you’d missed his close contact and the intimacy.
“I still hate you” you say looking at him with a fierce look in his eyes, almost like a challenge to see just how far he would go. And without a word he lifts you up chucking you into the bed. He crawls up to you, spreading your legs open, pulling your shorts and panties down in one and he leans down to kiss and bite your inner thighs.
A hand comes across to cover your mouth, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how good he was making you feel just from light contact on your inner thighs.
The minute he started to lick strips up your slit you were done for, his large nose bumping your clit making you squirm and a breathy gasp leaving your lips.
“You still hate me gorgeous? Because you don’t sound like you do?” He smirks diving back in and eating you out like a 5 course meal in a 3 star Michelin restaurant.
“Danny” you cry and he just laughs into your creating more incredible vibrations.
“Still hate me? I dare you to say it” he asks and there was still a petty part of you that was so upset be annoyed with him that you couldn’t even understand your own emotions right now?
Was it hate?
“Yes I do” you answered, but Daniel could here the confusion in your voice.
“Maybe I just need to fuck the hate out of you huh?” He asks coming up from your clit, his fingers dipping in making your gasp and grab his wrist making eye contact as he come up to kiss you on the lips, making you able to taste yourself in his lips.
“How does that sound? Letting me take all my frustrations out on you” he says as he speeds up his fingers inside you. He takes them out, licking them clean before pulling his own jeans and boxers down letting his dick spring free.
“Or how about I take MY frustrations out on you” you say flipping his round and straddling him. Holding him down by his shoulders.
He just smirks up at you, hands going behind his head as he relaxes with your weight on top of him.
“Gone if then baby girl. Do your worst” he says and before he can say anymore your mounting him, slipping down onto him bouncing up and down. Your hands find their way to his hair as you grip his curls and his find their way to your exposed boobs, letting them fill his hands as he starts to tweak and play with your peaked nipples.
“Fuck Dan, why’d you have to ignore me” you all but moan as you speed up and Daniel starts to thrust up to meet your bounces.
“I didn’t wanna fucking hurt you, I knew I’d say something nasty to you coz I was hacked off” he gasps out as he grips your hips, helping you bounce.
“You’re so stupid” you cry, out looking at him as you clench round him and fall into him having no more energy. Daniels thrusts become sloppy and he eventually slows down, with one big thrust before emptying himself inside you.
“Still hate me?” He smiles as he pulls you into him for a hug, his breathing ragged as he looks down at you.
“Always” you smile, pulling him into a sweet kiss.
“Damn, we need to have more sex when your angry” he sighs, wiping the sweat away from his forehead.
“No way had my sexiness bested a high performance athlete” you laugh, looking over at him. And he can’t help but laugh too.
“Mmmmm of course you have” he answers.
“But next time, you talk to me okay? I swear I’m not doing this again Daniel” you say seriously and he rolls his eyes with a small pout.
“But your so hot and sexy when you hate me” he pouts making you shake your head laughing before lightly slapping his shoulder.
Taglist:
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Second chances. Alexia putellas x coach!reader.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
summary : the confrontation between alexia and R.
Alexia always had a hold on you. Her stare would often captivate you and suck the air out of each room you were in. being stuck with her in the physio room, her muscular thighs on full display, was your worst nightmare. Her eyes seemed to devour every part of you and yours couldnt shy away from doing the same. There you both were 4 years after that night still looking at each other like nothing mattered in the world but the person in front of you. Your heart made it its purpose to quickly remind you of the gaping hole she left in it. You remembered the amount of tears she drew from your eyes, and the delay she caused to your success and career. You shifted in your seat and looked away from her. You reminded yourself that the person in front of you wasn't the love of your life anymore but the one that destroyed you.
“ You don't know how many times I imagined us talking like this. I planned this speech many times but now that i have to do it i can't recall a word.” she says breaking the silence. Her voice was shaky which wasn't something you were used to. You hardly ever saw alexia nervous and fidgety which was interesting to witness. You didn't say a word though. You kept your composure as you always did and let her speak her mind.
“ uhmm. I am sorry. I know that i fucked up really badly. I shouldn't have acted like that that night. I should have fought for you. Fought for us. I should have reprimanded Irene and done everything in my power to help keep us together but I was a coward. I chose the easy road. You don't know how sorry I am. I regret everything and if I could go back I would stop you from leaving or leave with you.”
You fantasized many times about what alexia would say if she was to apologize. What you dreamt of sounded like what she said but coming from her it didn't sound as satisfying as would have hoped. It only made you angrier. You tried to keep your composer because it was your default setting. Your face was as emotionless as you could have it but your blood was boiling in your veins. You waited for her to add something but she didn't. . she was shaking and her eyes were glued on you.
Realizing that she was done you got up to leave. She quickly hurried to your side. “ So you won't say anything?” she asked, nervousness clear in her voice. “ I said I would hear you out and I did.” you respond with a monotone voice.
“ Please say something.” she pleaded.
“ What do you want me to say? You want me to say that you are forgiven. You are not. You destroyed me and for that I will hate you forever.”
“ You don't mean that.”
“ I don't mean what? The part where I said you destroyed me or the part where I said I hate you.” your voice was undermining and insulting which made her body visibly tense.
“ I was in love with you and you chose you before me. You chose your career before me. You chose your family and friends before me. And what? you think i am sorry and I regret everything would make me forgive you and come back to you.” you voice and body language were cruel. You laughed at her, undermined her presence and belittled her just with your tone. You saw her shrink before your eyes. You didn't mean to or maybe you did. But the image in front of you made your heart ripe.
“ I was dead without you. I couldnt breath, sleep, or eat. I thought that you would come after me and tell me that I am to you worth more than some stupid trophies or a legacy. I thought that you wanted to continue your life with me and that that night was just a mistake But you didn't. You left me alone and unemployed. You ruined me. You broke me. I had to learn how to breathe again. I had to learn how to sleep in my bed alone. I had to train my brain not to think about you and not to try and hold out hope that you wanted me. You made me feel unloved and undeserving of everything.” you saw tears escape her eyes and stain red cheeks.
“ I am stupid. I don't deserve you or a second chance. But I can't help but miss you and need you. All I have is this stupid job and my memories of you. I replay them every night before I go to bed. I replay how my lips felt on yours and how your head felt on my chest. I should have come after you and told you that I love you more than anything but my ambition stood in the way. I thought that my career and the approval of my family would fill the void in my heart but I was wrong. I love you. “
You two stood there with your hearts laid bare. You know how she felt and she knew how you felt.
“ After all this time I love you too alexia.” you took a deep breath and you saw her eyes light up. “ But I can't trust you. I went through so much pain and anger. I don't think that I am capable of moving past it to be with you.” you swiped her tears away with your thumbs and gave her a quick peck on her lips. She didn't fight back, she wanted more but you stepped away from her and left the room.
As soon as the door closed behind you tears streamed down your face as you ran away from the hallway.
You were the last one to board the bus. You saw a glimpse of alexia whose head was lying on mapi's shoulder. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks were red and your heart was no longer able to keep your feelings for her dormant. Two voices were screaming at you. One was reminding you of how much you love her and the other reminding you of how much she hurt you. You put on your headphones to try and drown out the noise that tortured you.
Midnight found you awake, the image of alexia’s crying face was burned into your memory. A knock on your door stopped you from cursing yourself for thinking about going back to her. When you opened the door you found Irene in front of you.
“ Can I come in?” she asked. You stepped aside to let her in.
“ I am a jerk.” she stated. “ Yeah you are.” you responded.
“ You haven't done anything to hurt me but I have done everything to hurt you. I was young, jealous, and angry. Everything that happened was on me and it was my fault. And for that I apologize. I knew that night that it would hurt you and get you to leave so I did it. I was a child jealous that her best friend found love and she didn't. I am not excusing my behavior which was wrong. I am giving you a much needed apology.”
“ Thank you.” you respond.
“ alexia loves you. She is deeply in love with you.”
“ Irene, stop.” you interrupt her.
“ She truly loves you and she truly is sorry for everything. She would do anything to be with you again. She was a mess when you left. That's why I didn't want you to take the job. I knew how much she had gone through and how much she still loves you. And when I looked at you I saw that you too still loved her. In an effort to save my friend I was rude to you. Hate me but please try to find the will to forgive her.”
You didn't know what to do with what she told you. Your heart was burning for Alexia and you knew now that hers yearned for you too.
You pick up your phone and look at her contact. Will you forgive her or shut her out again?
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso request#woso smut#alexia x reader#alexia putellas angst#alexia putellas smut#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas
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𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐩 (𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩) | 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐨𝐧
summary: a random man breaks your phone and runs away before you can even yell at him. he becomes your archenemy when you learn that you lost hundreds of photos of your children. and by “your children”, you mean pups—seal pups.
pairing: alex albon x seal specialist! fem!black!reader
from, serene: do not post any gifts you get on social media. that's how people get robbed /srs. i'm trying to make my reader's have different personalities but i think i failed with this one. i'll try on the next smau. happy reading, loves xxx
⌕ join taglist | feedback & requests | upcoming chapters | table of contents | seal you later toc | next ↻
messages • yn -> coral (yn’s coworker)
twitter • alex_albon
twitter • sealteamsix
messages • max please unmute us gc -> alex
twitter dm’s • alex -> yn
messages • yn -> coral
twitter dm’s cont. • alex -> yn
messages cont. • yn -> coral • alex -> max please unmute us gc
igstory • seallygirlyn just uploaded!
[caption1; optimus prime being a very brave boy while being weighed][caption2; cutely decorated suspicious packages are about to be unboxed. if i'm inactive just know alex_albon is responsible!]
alex_albon: his name is optimus prime 🥹🤧 seallygirlyn: it's adorable right? seallygirlyn: when he first got rescued he was fighting with another pup named megatron, so the naming was easy lol
coral: that looks like a lot more than an iphone 🤨 seallygirlyn: i told him to keep it reasonable! but i fear he went too far,,,
user: wow he was really serious about finding you. lwk kinda sweet. it's giving loverboy. 🤭 seallygirlyn: loll don’t read to far into it! he’s just a generous guy ☺️ user: if you say so….
messages • yn -> coral • twitter dm’s • yn -> alex
instagram • seallygirlyn • august 26th
liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63, coral, and 17,364 others
seallygirlyn when you ask a man to replace your phone that he broke, he might buy you the newest phone and a bunch of other things (you told him not to get !!) you can't buy my favor, yk? fish says thank you for the stuffie. thank you from me too, alex_albon. this is seriously too much to give for a broken iphone.
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seallygirlyn: going to miss using a flip phone lwk...tysm alex_albon i made it look all pretty in the basket in hopes it fixes your lightly ruined public image
➥ alex_albon: am i forgiven? ➥ seallygirlyn: i already forgave u alex, i told you this 🙂 ➥ alex_albon: just wanted you to say it where everybody can see it! they're still slandering my name ➥ seallygirlyn: you can replace my phone and my dying ipad but, you can never recover my lost seal photos :( ➥ alex_albon: i will pay for your icloud storage from this point forward until my dying breath ➥ seallygirlyn: i need that in writing with a signature ✍️
coral: i told you alex is a good guy! that's why he's been my favorite since f2!!!
➥ seallygirlyn: he's been moved from biggest adversary to occasional nemesis status ➥ alex_albon: that's improvement, i'll take it! thanks for supporting me from before the start, coral! dedicating my next points to both of you! ➥ coral: imgoingtofaint 😵💫
georgerussell63: ah. this must be why alex made me pay for his mcdonalds the other day. he spent all of his money on you
➥ alex_albon: GEORGE PLEASE 😟😣 ➥ user1: george is such an instigator. he lives to stir shit up i swear ➥ user2: russell, george. professional cockblocker extraordinaire.
user3: it's a little odd that a man would buy a woman he has no romantic interest in so many expensive gifts....
➥ user4: lol these gifts aren't expensive. the cost was nothing to him, he's an f1 driver and she's nothing compared to him 😒 ➥ user5: jealous little girl alert user4 🚨 ➥ user6: she's nothing compared to him? the woman who works tirelessly to rehabilitate seal pups and release them back into the ocean—the woman who's actively conserving the ocean and protecting marine life, is nothing compared to him? the man who drives an f1 car in circles? try again, girly. you're just jealous any RESPECTABLE man wouldn't give you the time of day. ➥ user7: CLOCK IT ➥ user8: read you like a book user4 🤣
user9: you have an orange cat named fish 🥺
➥ seallygirlyn: yes! isn't he the sweetest boy to ever exist? ➥ user9: i'd kill for fish 🫶🏻
user12: fish and his stuffie are the cutest!!!! i just wanna bite him
➥ alex_albon: not as cute as seallygirlyn ➥ seallygirlyn: ...who asked you? are you calling fish ugly?? ➥ alex_albon: what? NO !!! i was calling you cute?! ➥ user13: that was difficult to read ngl ➥ user14: mission failed. we'll get 'em next time.
general taglist (ask to join):
@saintslewis/@cherry2stems/@lorarri/@mindless-rock/@biancathecool
@barnestatic/@darleneslane/@lovingaphroditesworld/@smoothopz/@vetteltea
@tallrock35/@spideybv28/@loomiscorpse/@hiireadstuff/@namgification
@gg-trini/@multi-fandom-rando/@landoslutmeout/@love-simon/@iloveyou3000morgan/
@rexit-mo/@oscahpastry/@sweatrevenge5436-blog/@bokutos-babyowl/@oliviah-25
@evermoreandroyalblue/@riveristhebest1/@xylinasdiary/@ashiekins/@flowergirl1134
@hearts4robs/@c-losur3/@bloodyymaryyy/@awritingtree/@lammys-thinking
seal you later taglist (ask to join):
@poppysrin@everythingabby101@mangotaitai
© httpsserene 2024 — photos used from pinterest. do not re-upload.
#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 x black!reader#alex albon x reader#alex albon smau#alex albon x black!reader#alex albon fanfic#alex albon fluff#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#alex albon x you#alex albon imagine#alex albon x y/n#serene’s chapters.#⋆⭒˚。⋆. series special: formula 1#♡ ༘*.゚ love interest: aa.
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Arguments III
Hardersson x Child!Reader
Part of the Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You get put in the naughty corner
Magda watches as you rage but still don't move from your spot.
You scream and cry and throw your little limbs around but you do not move away from the corner Pernille has put you in. You stubbornly sit in it as you sob and screech and kick your feet out.
Magda has to turn away from your tear stained face and the little grabby hands you reach out to her when you catch her looking.
Pernille is still in the kitchen, cutting up some broccoli and completely ignoring the way you're screeching a few feet away.
"Pernille-"
"No, Magda."
"You don't even know what I'm going to say."
"I do." Pernille turns. "You're going to say to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her that it's all alright. Well, it's not and she knows actions have consequences."
A few minutes ago, you had gotten very angry. You'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and had been clingy and whingy all day. You had to have attention on you at all times. You had to have one of your mothers holding you at all times.
You'd been like that when you got home as well.
Magda had been keeping you occupied with a game while Pernille started on dinner but out of nowhere, you pivoted to want Pernille's attention. She told you to wait a bit until she was done with her food prep.
You hadn't liked that and shrieked at her.
Pernille told you if you did that again then you'd go to the naughty corner.
You shrieked again and knocked all of Pernille's cut-up chicken onto the floor.
Pernille put you in the naughty corner.
Which was how you found yourself now.
"But don't you think she's been there enough?" Magda asks," Pernille, she's crying."
"She's crying because she's not gotten her way," Pernille replies dismissively," She's been in the naughty corner before, Magda. She knows that acting out like the means time there."
"Pernille," Magda insists," She's learnt her lesson. Let her out."
"Magda," Pernille says in the exact same tone," If we take her out of the naughty corner early, it teaches her that she can cry her way out of things. That's not a good example to set with her."
"She's crying!" Magda continues," She's crying and she's distressed and you're being heartless!" She whips a finger to point in Pernille's face.
"I'm being heartless?!" Pernille scoffs," Well, forgive me Magda, for not handing everything our child wants to her! You're being soft!"
"She's a baby! Our baby-"
"She's not been a baby for a few years! She's perfectly capable of learning that actions have consequences. You're trying to teach her bad habits!"
"You're being cruel, Pernille! You just set her down and ignored her! How does she know that you still love her, huh? How does she know that you've forgiven her?!"
"Don't question my parenting! I'm the one that disciplined her when you were away! Me! Not you! I know how to look after her!"
The argument continues and neither of them have noticed that you've stopped crying.
Your head moves like a ping pong ball between them as one starts speaking over the other.
You're not meant to get up out of the naughty corner until either Momma gives permission or you've stopped crying.
Momma hasn't given permission but you have stopped crying and you don't like the way Momma and Morsa are yelling at each other, looking seconds away from pushing the other like they do to people on the pitch.
You head over, wiping away your tears with the back of a hand.
You pull on both of their hands, silencing the argument as they both turn to look down at you.
"I'm sorry, Momma," You say to Pernille because that's what you've always been taught.
The naughty corner is time to reflect and think about your actions and why they were wrong. Apologies mean that you've thought about them and you know why you were put there.
Pernille falls to one knee and gently wipes the remnants of tears off of your face. "And what are you sorry about?"
"For not waiting," You reply," And for throwing the food on the floor."
"Uh-huh," Pernille says," Thank you for saying you're sorry, princesse. Me and Morsa forgive you."
You nod. "Can I go play in my room?"
Pernille glances at the clock. "Dinner will be ready in half an hour. Don't start a long game."
"Okay!"
You hurry up the stairs and Pernille turns to Magda again, sighing.
"I don't like arguing with you," She says," But you've got to trust me. I know what works with her and what doesn't."
Magda sighs too, looking away briefly before meeting Pernille's eyes. "I don't like arguing either. It's just hard, you know? I don't like watching her cry and doing nothing."
One side of Pernille's mouth perks up. "It goes against every mum instinct you have, doesn't it?"
#woso x reader#hardersson x reader#pernille harder x reader#pernille harder#magdalena eriksson x reader#magdalena eriksson#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso#the big adventures universe
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Maybe hook x reader where she is like sunshine reincarnated like she’s so bubbly
Hook never understood how you could be so energetic and bubbly all the time, but yet it was because you were the way that you are that has lead him into adoring you in the first place unashamedly.
You saw things in a brighter hue of colour than he did and greeted others with a smile that it outshone any and all the stars that hung in the night sky above Merlin Academy.
It was due to your sweet and bubbly persona that made Hook more weary of the people that tried so hard to associate with you for one reason or another, he didn’t wish for your kindness to be seen as a weakness to be exploited.
So he’d often acts as your personal guard dog and scared off those who sought you out for their own personal agenda by flashing his hook along with a couple of vague threats before watching with pride as they ran with their tails firmly tucked between their legs.
‘James.’ You’d say.
Hook smiles as he crosses over to you and holds you close as he uses the back of his hook to trace your jawline. ‘Now before you say anything dearest, did I mention that I adore the sparkle in your eyes whenever you see something or hear something you love, or the way you’d grab my arm and squeeze it when you could hardly contain your excitement before dragging me along your escapades.’ He says sweetly as your pout was quick to become a growing smile as you found yourself unable to be mad at him for long periods of time.
‘You are temporarily forgiven.’ You’d tell him as he raises brow at you.
‘Only temporarily?’ He gasps, holding both hand and hook to his chest, closing his eyes as though in pain, ‘darling you wound me.’ He adds, opening one eye to look at you adoringly as you laugh at his dramatics before playfully swatting his bicep.
‘Okay you’re fully forgiven. I shall pardon your actions today because I can never seem to remain upset at you, captain handsome.’ You said as hook hummed at your new nickname for him. ‘Captain handsome?’ He rests on his tongue, ‘is there a joke somewhere in that I’m missing sweetheart.’ He adds as he rests his forehead against yours.
‘No,’ you giggle as you peppered hook’s face in kisses, much to his delight. ‘Just wanting an excuse to call you handsome.’ You add cheekily before squealing when he pulls you in by the waist and steals a kiss from your lips, smiling.
James Hook refused to share you, his beloved darling. with anyone else. You were his greatest treasure, his friend, his confidant but most importantly his love and he’d be damned if he lets that fool Peter Pan -who had been eying you for a while- to have you when you were his to have and to hold for as long as he could.
For you were the light he was refused from accepting but now he’d happily watch as you spread your love, happiness and joy to all you thought needed it most however you could. You were warm again this skin in more ways then one, your soul burned brightest when you were making others happy or relieving them of their stresses.
Hook may not value the same things as you did but that didn’t mean he couldn’t admire your valiant efforts to help as many people as you could, all the while smiling that gorgeous smile of yours while doing so.
You were his sunshine and he wasn’t about to let anyone take you away. Safe to say you warmed his cold heart back to life, and while your bubbly nature could often leave him with a need to keep you safe form those who thought this insinuated your nativity, when in actuality it emphasised your emotional intelligence in comparison to others who didn’t feel that same level of comfortably yet.
James hook would always be proud of his partner who was nothing short of sunshine incarnated in human form.
Warm, welcoming, and above all kind.
#descendants imagines#descendants rise of red#descendants imagine#descendants x reader#descendants 4#james hook x you#james hook imagines#james hook x reader#james hook imagine
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What are your favorite drarry fics?
oh. ooooooooooooh oh oh.
here are my staples:
draco, the magic dragon - libbydrew a fic i first read on livejournal (showing off the varnish of my casket here) that i thought about regularly for the almost two decades i fell out of fandom. canon to me tbh. libby invented my draco rubric: proud lil showboat even when everything around him has gone to rancid shit, sarcastic and aloof personality as a poor facade to distract from the big ol' gaping well of hurt.
Potter took a great breath, then let it out slowly – a low whistle between his teeth. "Malfoy, I had no idea. I thought—" "Why are you here?" Draco cut him off before the idiot embarrassed them both. Their shared past was water under the bridge – even if Draco had drowned in it.
nightingale - michi_the_killer
another back-in-my-day fav, even though i can only stand to read half of it. actually even thinking about it is making me stare off in a distance for upwards of three minutes. this one i would hand off wrapped in about a million miles of caution tape. + also a huge fan of michi's gory veela fic.
It was better than fighting, Harry thought, although sometimes he still wanted to rip into Malfoy, to hurt him. Other days, he thought, it was better than anything.
rookie moves - peu_a_peu
what can i say that hasn't already been said - peu is a MASTER. if you somehow know who i am but haven't read this, reassess your life choices through professional means but not until after you dive in.
“Feels kinda big,” Malfoy said, smirking. “For a guy your height.” “My height is average,” Harry said, although he was undeniably glaring upward at Malfoy’s face when they stood so close together. “And it is kinda big.”
stately homes of wiltshire - waspabi another one that crept into my heart and made a home. hard to choose between this and waspabi's other drarry fic, but there's something about the decrepit manor that just does it for me. a perfect harry and draco, perfect soft reaching towards each other.
Draco smiled and dragged Potter from the shop before he could charm any more elderly ladies with his unkept, take-care-of-me-I’m-confused-and-have-nice-shoulders aesthetic. Once outside in the drizzle, he realised he still had his hand around Potter’s forearm. He yanked his hand back immediately.
i wake up falling - warmfoothills
warmfoothills :,) just reading this moniker makes me vision go soft around the edges. their writing has made me out loud, quietly say "oh," multiple times. the prose is darling, this story is such a brief, aching glance. it was also really hard to pick just one (flashback, warm nights i also go in for).
“I love you,” he says, unable to stop himself. Draco blinks, a barely-there flinch, like Harry’s taken a swing at him. “I know,” he says, still oblivious to the reference, oblivious to the way his words scoop right into the meat of Harry’s stupid, hopeful heart. “It’s not enough, is it?” Draco shakes his head. Above, the stars watch unfeelingly on.
the pure and simple truth - lettered no one does dialogue with the mastery lettered does. my GOD. my god. i feel like this fic is drarry perfectly distilled.
“What’s he going to be?” Blaise raised a brow. “Pardon?” “You said he says Hermione should be Minister, and all those other things. What does Malfoy think he should be?” There was something much like pity in Blaise’s eyes. “He thinks he should never, ever be forgiven for the things he’s done.” Harry felt ill. “That’s not fair.” “When has Draco ever been fair?” “I meant―” Harry swallowed hard. “That’s not right.” Blaise looked more pitying still. “When has Draco ever been right?”
far from the tree - aideomai
the writer i avoid talking about the most bc once i start i cannot physically restrain myself from going on about their beauty forever. i sat for forty-five solid minutes frowning, trying to choose between this one and in the hand. and dwelling. okay anyway. i keep a doc of quotes from fics that resonate and it's 50% aideomai.
Draco wondered what Potter thought of this day, in the future the twins came from. If he had told Ginny about it. If he had forgotten it. He couldn’t forget it, could he? It felt burned into Draco’s body already, a final point that he had been moving toward for years without knowing.
i could go on but i think seven is a nice solid number tyvm for this ask!
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"I think Aziraphale needs to learn a lot more than that..."
Why do people keep (telling me again and again about this quote) assuming that Neil means Aziraphale needs some moral lessons, get off his high horse, learn some hard truths about Heaven, escape their grasp, finally understand that they are bad etc etc etc.
When the ask is about how Crowley is always forgiven from Aziraphale's point of view and how what (I see) Neil means is that Azi should also be told he's good enough. That he can be loved.
That what he needs to learn is how to believe in himself. To trust his mind, his feelings, to believe he is enough, he always was, that he doesn't have to be perfect or 100% right, that it is not possible and that it's okay. That he's okay. That he was lied to.
I wish we would frame Aziraphale's journey/learning as something else, not morality/awakening of some sort. Not as something he has to overcome. When Crowley changes his mind on something, no one says, oh have a gold star, you went against what Hell wants from you. Well done! Why do we do that to Aziraphale. Crowley is seen in Hell, giving presentations on some half hearted ideas that no one there really gets and getting accolades for things he didn't do at all and everyone is like, oh yay, look at him, so clever. Hahahah. Aziraphale also has to follow rules and do his tasks whether he agrees with them or not or he will be punished. He's not doing it for fun. He breaks rules when he feels he simply must and then everyone is like oh look, he is finally abandoning the rigid thinking that Heaven showed/taught him. But really, the naïve slow angel, he should try even harder.
Why such double standards?
Aziraphale is good and wants to do good. He is not sure of himself, true, but that's hardly his fault. Crowley is also good and tries to do good or at least limit the bad things he needs to do to survive.
They are two sides of the same coin. They both learn and grow. Sometimes the treatment the Ineffables get reminds me of how differently boys and girls are treated when they are learning behaviour. Boys praised for anything and everything even remotely good they do (cos they are expected to be naughty) and girls get the oh you should have already known better treatment. Aziraphale saved Job's kids cos he thought it was a horrible thing to want to do and expected to be punished for it. That's not - he didn't, it didn't change who he is. He did it expecting Falling. That's extremely brave. Yes Crowley has Fallen and people tend to see this as some extra superior move on his behalf, like he had everything figured out, understood how bad Heaven was and tried to bravely fix it. And Aziraphale needs to catch up with him. (If not by Falling himself than by doing some extraordinary learning journey to catch up with Crowley's knowledge). No. That's all HC. We don't even know why Crowley Fell. We don't. We know what he says happened (and we also know that he's not a reliable narrator...) and that's all we know. And even the things he says are not exactly showing him as some truth waving hero only wanting to make Heaven better for everyone and failing. Aziraphale is not breaking rules cos suddenly he used his brain and saw how Heaven is bad. He already knows that. He's risking punishment to help others. Again and again. And that's very kind and admirable and everything but it's not his evolving morality. He's already moral. He's already good. He always was.
He's also fucking cute. Let's not forget.
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens 2#aziraphale my beloved#good omens thoughts#Aziraphale defence squad#kaypost
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