#cringed too hard at old pic

[yoru-kage]

Everyone's favourite doctor looking positively unhinged as per usual :vD A redraw of this from 2020 because I was looking at it and went "I can do better"

Prints are available :V

[novelconcepts]

Guard walls are out. Reckless sincerity is in. I’m so tired, bro, all there is left is to be honest about complimenting the art and people I’m fond of.

[toxicanonymity]

Newest instalment of Stepdad Joel was chefs kiss. But everyone already knew that! I’m in love with how he just can’t help himself. My man is insatiable. Toxic, would you be so kind as to bless us plebs with a lil Stepdad Joel behind the scenes lore? I have personally always wondered what the first time dear reader and he met was like? First impressions maybe?

Much love 🫶💗🐝

Thank you so much! 💗🫶💗 You are apparently the toxic lore whisperer. When you ask for lore, I crack my fingers. . .

700 words?? CW provocative album art. TW mommy issues but not much detail

stepdad master

-----

LORE: first meeting stepdad!Joel

His first impressions: Moody but harmless teenager.

Yours: Old but harmless nerd, trying too hard.

The first time you met, your mom was acting like they weren't dating, he was just, her friend Joel. You were late to lunch and she criticized your parking job.

"Are you gonna introduce me to all your 'friends' now?" You asked with air quotes right in front of Joel outside the cafe. 

Your mom apologized for you. Joel smiled and looked down at the ground and when his eyes found your vintage sneakers he said, "hey, fresh kicks." You cringed at him trying to sound cool but it was also disarming how lame he was making himself.  He was old (ish, but not as old as your mom), he was a nerd, he was a fool for liking your mom so much, and he did genuinely like her. Even before getting to know him, you felt a little bad for him because it would only be a matter of time until she couldn't keep up her fake niceness. 

Gradually you got to be buddies with him. One of the first times you spent time with him was at a food truck thing the three of you went to, and your Mom went off to "say hi" to a neighbor for thirty minutes. The two of you were sitting at the picnic table making small talk.  Joel was wearing an MCR shirt. He was surprised you knew who they were.  He liked a variety of cool bands, liked cool movies. He felt bad when your mom was hard on you and he stuck up for you. You kind of stuck up for each other. You almost tried to vaguely warn him when they started talking about marriage which seemed really fast, like within six months. 

-----

One day, after they were married, you and your mom had a huge blow-up and Joel came to your room bc at her request, he told her he'd try to talk to you for her. But he didn't. He just sat on the floor and looked around trying not to bother you. You kept your earbuds in and ignored him. 

He found your Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers vinyl and picked it up. He turned it over to read. He said "nice, where's your record player?"  You didn't have one at that point. That was your dad's, and you used to use his player. You hung onto that album but not for the music.

You finally took out your earbuds, feeling bad for him talking to himself.

Joel said, "my favorite Stones album is Some Girls."

"That's such a cliche," you grumbled without really looking at him, but the fact that you even said anything was a compliment. 

He asked, "Yeah, what's yours?"

You paused, then sheepishly admitted, "Some girls," and you both laughed.

------

You didn't live with them for long before you left for college, which was shortly after you caught him jacking off in the office that time, which neither of you ever acknowledged.

In college you started partying and dressing provocatively.  He followed you on Instagram your junior or senior year. At one point he accidentally liked then unliked a pic that was mostly cleavage. It made your heart skip a beat, and not in a creeped out way. But you didn't think much of it at the time, you had too much else going on in the boy world already.

You never lived at home again after leaving for college, but when you occasionally came home to visit, there started to be a different tension. It was like he was trying not to look at you. It wasn't that creepy -- You were both human and he wasn't "stepdad" long enough to ever feel like a father figure.  But there was tension, and occasionally you bickered over dumb stuff.

----

After graduation, you got a job and moved across town. Over time, there were a couple of guys you dated long enough to introduce them to Joel at family events.  He was polite but quiet with the first one.  The last one, you seemed to really like, and Joel was kind of cold with him. After you and that guy broke up, you started getting the urge to see Joel more often, which ultimately led to the time you went by when your Mom wasn't home and knowingly caught him jacking off.

Joel never would have made a move on you, so thank god for your advances. Even after following your instagram, he tried (and failed) not to look at you.

[diezmil10000]

2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!

(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)

so i've been doing this for 10 years :P

i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavange for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.

my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.

(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)

when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.

and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.

on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!

the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:

i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.

everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.

i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.

so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):

this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3

the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).

that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.

i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.

it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.

i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:

then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.

the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!

so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.

i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.

and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.

i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.

examples:

as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.

i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)

i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.

but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.

thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.

[etokii]

Yan!Kazuki x Reader

Part 1

Tags: Yandere (duh), Stalking, Tracking, Mentioned Yan!Rei, There is a kid, but its your brother, Implied abusive relationship, GN!Reader

Let me know if I missed any!

Wordcount: 672

Yandere!Kazuki who spots you for the first time at the daycare. The first thing he notices is your smile. The way your eyes curve and your cheeks move when you laugh at a story one of the mothers tells you. The way you notice him and send a friendly smile his way. The way you squat when talking to the kids surrounding your group.

Yandere!Kazuki who, after leaving Miri in Anna’s care, watches you a bit longer to figure out which one of the kids are yours. He lingers around, chatting about nothing with another parent while his eyes follow your form.

Yandere!Kazuki who sees you saying goodbye to a small, thin boy, whose eyes twitch just that bit when he sees the kid placing a smooch on your cheek, feeling jealousy bubbling in his stomach already.   

Yandere!Kazuki who wonders just how old you were when you became a parent, seeing as you seem to be in your mid twenties tops. Who grimaces as several scenarios already cross his mind. Darker scenes flood his brain, images, innocent and naughty, weasel their way before his eyes and his blood flowing down.

Yandere!Kazuki who snaps a quick pic of you, one he immediately sends to Rei to wager his opinion of you. Rei, of course, is immediately heads over heels for you. How could he not, seeing as you embody a kind of elegance and innocence rarely found, especially in their kind of field. 

Yandere!Kazuki who starts encouraging Miri to befriend your kid, telling her that he seems to be nice and would make a good friend. Of course, his goal is way less innocent than for Miri to find playmates.

Yandere!Kazuki who starts chatting with you in the afternoon. He walks up, Miri in hand, and greets you with a cheeky smile. He lets Miri play with your son, while striking up a convo with you. You smile at him a lot, he notices. His heart starts to swell, and so does a part down below. Fuck. You really are too cute, he thinks, hoping that his phone catches a clear recording of your voice.

Yandere!Kazuki who, to his pleasant surprise, finds out that the kid isn’t yours, instead, he is your little brother. Your Parents have a lot on their plate, you disclose, an embarrassed blush coating your cheeks. You decided to step up and take care of him, despite having little time already due to your job. “It works fine, though.” you tell him, a coy smile dancing on your lips. “Luckily I have a partner who keeps the house safe.” You laugh, though, in his view, it seems forced. His eyes follow you as you say goodbye, holding your little brother's hand.

Yandere!Kazuki who feels a knife twist in his bowles as he spots you meeting with a man at the gate. His face darkens, seeing how you apologetically rub the back of your neck as this person, the partner you mentioned? He cringes at that thought-, talks to you, gripping your hand just a bit too hard, raising his voice just a bit too loud. Loud enough for him to hear and certainly loud enough to be picked up by his phone.

Yandere!Kazuki who secretly places a GPS-tracking device on you, under the disguise of brushing some pedals off of your bag. He traces your every move and Rei spends every free minute he can spare following you, protecting you.

Yandere!Kazuki who never spends a single second pondering if your relationship might be a healthy one, of course it couldn't be, after all, this man is neither him nor Rei. In their mind, your partner is a slob. An abusive, lazy piece of work who would never appreciate you the way you deserve.  Yandere!Kazuki who’s gears start turning and, after a lengthy discussion with Rei, decides to help you, save you. After all, how could someone so sweet, so innocent protect themselves against this big, evil world? 

[allegedly-human]

wow look at you and your extra serious "I want people to respect my preferences even though I will only vaguely allude to information about myself" post pinned at the top of your blog and your weird joker clown furry display pic and your "this anon user just embarrassed himself" comment lmao you're so pseudo intellectual it stings like you're all brooding and distrusting in general even though nobody cares who you are or about you at all. You probably have just the most boring and pointless discussions on reddit or somewhere similar where you go way too far to format your responses like some scholar but it just comes off with the intellectual vanity of a 13 year old boy who just started expanding their vocabulary and let it get to their ego. Everything about you at face value is so cringe I can't even find the words to critique it satisfactorily. You're probably going to take this ask so seriously and address all my points like you're in some high school debate class omg. You're out here acting like everybody wants to get to know you, like you've spent your entire online life having to bat people away who get too close, like you have some dark tragic backstory about getting your feelings hurt that's supposed to evoke sympathy from people who didn't understand before you told them, and when you finally let them in you think it's like some big deal and they'll be like "wow I'm sorry I didn't know" when the reality is you're just like alone here on your blog proclaiming yourself as some dark mysterious interesting figure who is forbidden to know, expecting to pique some kind of awe and mysticism, but everyone is like "okay," and really does not care. I can't believe I can still find people like you on the internet, you're so socially reminiscent of like 20 years ago when people just had petty arguments on small forums, going out of their way to "win" the argument, not even knowing what it means to win an argument, but trying so hard anyway because they imagine themselves some mighty intellectual who puts everyone in their place. Look at you, so afraid of any insignificant piece of information about you leaking online, like you're in witness protection, like the cartels are after you, lmao. Who do you think even cares? What do you think you have that anyone wants? The funny thing is it's not even a big deal to keep your information private, but those who do simply do, while you're out here practically holding a sign that reads "DONT ASK ABOUT ME" in big red letters, advertising it so hard, like you're trying to draw attention to yourself, the same self that you don't want people asking about. It definitely doesn't come off like something an adult would do, although I'm not doubting you are one, I just don't think you're mature like one. The 3 seconds I spent looking at your blog told me all I'm interested to know about you anyway, and I think you need to just sit down lmao. The one person you have asking for information about you isn't even curious about who you are, they're just raising a concern about blocking you, and still you pin it up at the top of your blog like, "look everybody, I have people asking about me! oh it's such a struggle to be so interesting please don't attempt to know me! The more you try to know me the harder it will be!" hahahaha so funny

You can really just find so many types of people on this website uh

[ikoarts]

October 2023 Art

for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x

2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd

3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have

6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled

9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face

10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..

11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x

ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice

13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute

14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident

15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel

16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun

also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)

19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x

[stewpid-soup]

okay, i just watched The Substance, a psychological horror/thriller + body horror film I HIGHLY recommend - so many spoilers!!

for anyone who doesn’t want spoilers, have a good rest of ur day and take care of yourselves <33

take a pic of my cat Luna for your troubles :3

OKAY SO THIS FUCKING FILM- I COULD LITERALLY GO ON ABT THIS FOR HOURS

THE WAY IT WAS SUCH A MASTERPIECE IN WAYS I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!

Like, it’s rare I watch a movie and think “yeah, i have absolutely zero complaints and i would watch this over and over until it’s seared into my brain” — BUT THIS HIT EVERY MARK!!

THE GORE & BODY HORROR - INFINITY/10 BECAUSE OH MY GOD???? ME AND MY MOM WERE JUST OVERJOYED ABT THE GORE AND MY DAD JUST COULDNT HANDLE IT- HE WAS PHYSICALLY CRINGING BC OF IT - IS IT THE MOST REALISTIC SHIT? OBVIOUSLY NOT (i would be more concerned if they perfected gore to look realistic ngl), BUT THE SHEER AMOUNT OF IT AND THE SOUNDS AND THE WAY YOU SEE IT AND THINK “oh god, that would fucking hurt” THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU CRINGE AND SHIVER AT THE THOUGHT OF!

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY - 10/10 - THE CUTSCENES, THE LIGHTING, THE WAY IT REALLY SHOVES THINGS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE AND SAYS “Look at this! Look at the horrifying things this woman is doing to feel like she is enough! See in 4K how she destroys her own body to keep the only thing she knows gives her worth, the only thing that makes people find her worth talking to— her body!” My mother suffers from chronic migraines so yes, the amount of flashing lights in it can be a bit jarring (so warning for anyone who is prone to seizures or is light sensitive). But to me it doesn’t feel like it’s too overdone, like many horror films tend to do with flashing lights— it makes sense why those sequences are there, it makes sense why they choose the lighting, to me: it makes sense and seems to align with the story

THE ACTING - DEMI MOORE (Actress who plays Elizabeth Sparkle) FUCKING POPPED OFF WITH THIS?!!??? AND MARGARET QUALLEY (Actress who plays Sue)!!! GOD, THE WAY I COULD FEEL THE RAGE WHEN SUE WAS CHASING ELIZABETH AROUND THE HOUSE! THE WAY ALL REASON WAS THROWN OUT THE WINDOW AND ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO TEAR HER OLD SELF APART BECAUSE IT’S EVERYTHING SHE LOATHES! THE WAY IT’S INGRAINED IN HER THAT SHE IS ONLY DESERVING OF BEING ALIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL! AND ELIZABETH— GOD, THE WAY I MY HEART WRENCHED WHEN SHE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR WHEN PREPPING FOR HER DATE WITH FRED! THE GOING BACK AND FORTH, THE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND SENSE OF DOOM BECAUSE SHE ISN’T THE “BETTER VERSION OF HERSELF”!! THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT THE BILLBOARD OUTSIDE HER WINDOW, THE WAY SHE MOCKED SUE’S INTERVIEW, THE SHAME SHE FELT FOR HER BODY BEFORE SHE USED THE SUBSTANCE— AND EVEN BY THE END OF THE FILM, IT NEVER WENT AWAY! IT WASN’T FIXED, SHE STILL HATED HERSELF. BUT SHE REALIZED TOO LATE THAT SHE RUINED NOT JUST HER BODY BUT HER QUALITY OF LIFE BY THE END! THAT SHE WAS LETTING THE NEED TO FIT THESE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS CONTROL HER LIFE! OH MY GOD AND DENNIS QUAID (Harvey’s actor - the guy who fired Elizabeth and hired Sue)?!? LITERALLY JUST PLAYS THE “PIECE OF SHIT” PERSONA SO PERFECTLY!! THE WAY HIS CHARACTER IS SO DISGUSTING- AND NOT JUST BEHAVIOR WISE! THE FACT HE DOESNT WASH HIS HANDS AFTER THE BATHROOM OR THE FACT HE EATS AS LOUDLY AND MESSILY AS POSSIBLE WHILE FIRING SOMEONE, THE NONSTOP SMOKING — BUT ALSO HIS MISOGYNISTIC JABS, THE WAY HE ONLY WANTED TO HIRE A NEW, YOUNGER WOMAN BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT ELIZABETH LOST HER “SEX APPEAL” AND ISN’T SOMETHING THAT FITS THE MALE GAZE!! HIS LAUGH IRKS ME IN A WAY I CAN’T DESCRIBE! IT WAS FANTASTIC!!

THE PLOT OVERALL & THE MORAL(S) OF THE STORY - INFINITY/10 — LORD I AM TOO TIRED TO TYPE ALL OF THIS BUT FUCK MAN, IT REALLY REALLY HIT ME. Especially after the elections, knowing that our fucking president looks at women and says “your body, my choice”, this really hit hard for me. The way that the body horror truly encapsulates just how horrific the reality is for women who are popular in the media- the things they feel like they have to do to survive in such a toxic and disgusting environment! Women have been told that all their worth is dependent on their bodies, their beauty- but The Substance truly shows just how much that shit can affect us, shows how much it can hurt your mental health- which will, in turn, affect your physical health!

god, this movie truly was a masterpiece and i highly recommend it to anyone who likes psychological thrillers/horrors & can handle watching body horror! i’m fucking exhausted, and i’ve had such a shitty week- and while this doesn’t exactly give me any hope for our future, it does show that we aren’t alone in our struggles. even the people we admire, whether it’s an actor or a content creator in general, struggle with accepting their flaws and not letting society determine their worth based on such shallow and superficial things.

maybe my ramble is a bit silly and a bit all over the place, so i’m sorry for that, again i’m fucking exhausted— but i had to post abt this

AND I NEED TO POST ABT THE GAME MOUTHWASHING SOON BC THE HYPERFIXATIONS ARE SO REAL!!

But anyways, if anyone read this far, thank you and have a wonderful rest of your day <3

[circumlocutive]

I'm so sorry about this situation. If he was lying, that def shows he felt guilty about it and knew it'd hurt you. That by itself is a big no.

Though I do want to ask a question and I'm not trying to justify the behavior, especially the lying, and only you can know your own boundaries and what you've discussed explicitly with your partner.

But - if he didn't meet up with them in the end, is this significantly different than you posting horny images and encouraging horny messages, etc. on tumblr in terms of behavior? It doesn't sound like he was getting emotionally involved with anyone, just used grindr rather than tumblr to get the same thrill of sharing pics.

It sounds like you both wanted the validation of feeling sexy and getting off on being seen. Maybe it helps to make you feel less awful to think it was the same thrill he was getting? Just using grindr rather than tumblr.

IIRC he knew about your tumblr though so that's obviously very different. AND for you afaik it was just one sided, you weren't getting pics of other people. And ofc if you've caught him in one lie, it's hard to trust he's not lying about anything else.

Anyway again I don't say this to defend anything :( and I'm sorry this seems like it really sucks.

You bring up good points. He knew and was invited to participate in all my Tumblr stuff. He also explicitly didn't care about it, doesn't feel bothered by non exclusivity, doesn't feel need to place a boundary on it. But he knows it's different for me, it was a large part of our discussions in the spring, and at the time I was like hey, if this is a deal breaker and you need to be fully open no strings no control whatever, I can't do that. If you want to stay, I need you to be monogamously committed. It's ok we can amicably part of this is not what you want. And he told me that he wanted us more and it made more sense for where our relationship was. And with the apps while I was on the other coast, he chose to keep me out. I'd told him I wouldn't resent him for having desires or feelings, but I would for not sharing with me when he was tempted to act. By lying about what he was willing to do, he took my agency away, my ability to walk away from a situation I knew would only hurt me more.

What's worse to me is when I found out, I asked him hey are you sure there's nothing I need to know about? Something you've been hiding? And he said no over and over and kept acting like I was crazy.

Also yes i wasn't sexting with people (displaying myself where he could see me yes, publishing horny asks if I got them where he could see them yes, soliciting pics in return no, contacting old nearby hookups no).

I do understand impulse, I do understand validation seeking (though God I wish he wanted it from me, like I crave it from him and substitute with public anons), I do understand selfish or short sighted behavior. But I was contrite and owned my cheating in my prior relationship, and idk. That means something to me. To have the wrong doing denied, and the way he sought to pick at where I was wrong before apologizing... He got there but it felt too late

And then there's more context, like a history of financial dependence and violating my boundaries around money (promising specific rules of frugality in exchange for a large interest free loan, getting mad at me after the fact when I was displeased by violating terms I bothered to write out; not seriously endeavoring to save an emergency fund and allowing major $500+ expenses to fall on me whether I liked it or not bc it was either pay it or let him drown) or with drugs (taking weed and alcohol without asking, that is freely given if he asked; hiding ketamine use after I expressed concerns about him prioritizing it over finances etc).

And indifference or resentment in response to my pleas for intimacy, wanting the idea of others more than he wants the reality of me offering head or sex, cringing away from my attempts to be intimate if I initiate, generally being selfish in bed and uninterested in trying for my benefit.

Idk where I'm going with this. I'm not perfect either but I am surely feeling betrayed

[fareehaandspaniards]

*shoves Katy out of the way and cringes at the sound of glass breaking + cats yowling*

AHEM. (Sorry Katy <3) My turn!

Fareeha, what are your headcanons on Eileen and Bloody Crow so far?! Have you thought about them a bit? Or are you still figuring them out? 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

For now I have something about them!

For this ask, I combined my headcanons with my spouse's thoughts, because he's Eileen fan! I've had Eileen's image in my head since the first playthrough, and even though it has undergone many changes, her overall vibe remained the same. Crow of Cainhurst is harder to deal with, as you can create him for yourself almost from scratch! They actually both are very expressive characters! But while Eileen has her own voice, a quest line, and a description of her clothes that tells at least some canonical story, the Bloody Crow of Cainhurst - like Damian and other Old Hunters - creates a lasting impression with his equipment, fighting style and appearance!

(I should have put them next to each other, but Tumblr decided that Eileen's pic is too long, so it cuts her D:)

I should probably start from afar, because I usually get things mixed up, and here I have two characters to describe at once!

Eileen's background. She's a foreigner, but we don't know exactly how her covenant formed, how she came to all this. I think she arrived in Yharnam before the whole blood mess. And I really like the headcanon that Eileen was in love with one of the pre-hunters - the one who was protecting Yharnam and nearest villages from monsters and other people. They eventually became an established couple. And once when madness struck her love, Eileen was the one who had to behead her once-lover. And so was the birth of the covenant.

Eileen reminded me of another character from my all-time favorite game, and she's a dragoon knight whose lover has lost his memory. Aaaaand… her phrase from the game I might give Eileen in this case:

«What irony. To find the man about whom I have dreamt endlessly... only to discover that he cannot even remember who I am!»

Also about origins, if we relate Eileen to modern geography, I'd say her homeland could be Mexico? Not for any deep reasons, I just really like the Santa Muerte aesthetic, and I feel that vibe in Eileen (I'll also mention Scandinavia and Tibet later on, so it's hard to attribute her ONLY to Mexico)

Eileen is quite a tough, cold-hearted person. Actually, to stand under her gaze is a very difficult task, I think even Henryk couldn't do it! (You know, that look of an angry mother, when she doesn't need to explain her child that she is mad, they have already realized that! xd) I think, besides hunting, she also has a lot of applied talents, such as sewing, drawing, modeling, but because of the Hunt she almost forgot all of them.

Eileen really did understand crows somehow! It was HER kind of bird, to which she had dedicated her appearance and to which she had counted herself. In fact, in her homeland she was called as something of a witch because of it, though Eileen herself was hardly related to magical matters! One day she told Crow about it, she wanted to make it sound like a joke, but he took it very seriously and sternly said, "You do look like a witch!" <3

You know the legend of Huginn and Muninn? I think she has her own pair of crows that bring her news and keep an eye on everyone.

We don't know all the Great Ones, but based on the image of Mergo's Wet Nurse, with wings and stuff - could there be any bird-like GO? I think Eileen, just by being herself, has attracted Great One's patronage or became an unspoken servant of this Great One? She's a warm "mom", but she's also connected to something so ancient.

I read some time ago that Eileen and her "foreign tradition" funeral is a reference to the Tibetan rite of heavenly burial!!!! It impressed me madly at the time, it's amazing to find such a fact after all! Thanks you, @heraldofcrow , for that! And it's already "canon" to me that this was the essence of the funeral she was conducting? Many Yharnamites found them heretical as they were in foreign traditions, but with all the despair heaped upon the city and Eileen's faith in what she was doing - I think she was called upon to do such things by people… At the very least to ensure that the soul of the deceased would have a chance at a new life and not be stuck in the clutches of the Great Ones and the eternal cycle of the Nightmare….

Eileen gives me some Boss vibes from Metal Gear, while Crow gives me some Sergei Razumovsky vibes from Bubble Comics. (TBH Sergei is the mental child of Micolash, Crow and Laurence…. I used to really like him, as well as the whole comic. But it changed the course of the storyline a bit, so I don't read it anymore)

Boss in the left, Sergei in the right (One was destined to battle her best apprentice, almost son, and die tragically(on a field full of white flowers, yeahm hello, Gehrman, take a seat), and the other one has inner crow-like crazy personality)

When Eileen became a hunter of hunters, she picked up the boy after finding him in the woods, half dead with many scars. We don't actually know how old Crow really is, some headcanon that he's a grown up man, but in my vision he's a young man of about 20, about the same age as Edgar (again, according to my headcanons! You'll never tell exactly what age is this accountant-looking man xdd)

Judging by the estimated time of the massacre, Crow was just a kid at the time. I think he was about ten years old when all this happened? Oh, ten years old is a terrible age for moral trauma. Child is too old to forget everything because of shock, and too young to find the strength to recognize and process that trauma without outside help, without creating more wounds in himself… What did he experience? What he saw? I don't even want to imagine.

But, as it sometimes happens, we expect from a "traumatized" person vulnerability, need for protection, delicate soul and sensitivity. But it happens that the consciousness gives absolutely opposite behavior, hiding all sensitivity deep and far away. So young Crow was not the best child to raise! He came to Eileen rough, heartless, with a slight sadistic tendency. I think because of him and his behavior, Eileen went through many difficult hours… But here you either refuse to let someone else's problems into your heart and miss the opportunity to help, or you live someone else's suffering as your own, and Eileen, of course, in Crow's case, chose the second option. It's a very hard thing to do. But such kindness is always reciprocated in one way or another, and it can also spark the strongest bond!

Eileen raised him, keeping him strict but spoiling him occasionally (I think she always dreamed of having a family, you know, with two people loving each other and kids? But fate deprived her of such an opportunity - she wouldn't be able to love again… But having lost it, Eileen would have gained a "son"). She couldn't not being strict and even sometimes cruel (NO physical punishments or anything else! Hard trainings - yes, tough tasks - yeah) - otherwise Crow would never have taken her seriously. Eileen was great at separating her images of "mother" and "mentor" into two different parts. "Mother" was always understanding and comforting, but "mentor" demanded that she do her bidding and kept a stern eye on her protégé's progress.

As a young boy, he was very sensitive to being laughed at. And as it happens, he did funny things quite often, whether it was awkwardness, attention-seeking, or just plain luck in life. Eileen found him funny but didn't know it hurt him. Crow was offended. But once he saw her sad, watched her stay up at night, found out HOW MUCH heaviness she had on her mind and experienced the most genuine understanding, he realized WANTED to be funny to her? That giving your loved one a reason to laugh is a way to take his mind off his problems. That's how he probably got over his exorbitant ego for the first time. And that's how people grow up! :^)

Crow grew into a skillful and very strong young man. "The student surpassed his teacher" was their situation. Crow became a better man and took from his mentor all that she could give him. Aaaaand... He made his own choice in life, I believe. He stepped out from under his mentor's wing, taking his course back to Cainhurst. And, taking to my headcanons the research of @heraldofcrow, I willingly believe he chose the "heretical path" of not taking souls to heaven as he should, but coming to his Queen and bringing those souls to her feet.

I don't think there was any drama between them when Crow committed the betrayal. There was no breakup, no words, why would they need them? He just chose his path. There's no room for her judgment, they just became strangers. They went their separate ways, and that's a conscious choice Crow made. Did it hurt Eileen? Madly, I think. But her emotions can almost never get the better of her, which is why she coldly refers to Crow as "my prey." She doesn't allow herself to take offense. Except in her failure quest line, when she's distraught and attacks a player. I think it's naturally all about Crow there. It's just that in the "failed" quest line she has no alternate successor to her covenant as a player, and thus has no hope at all. Only despair and bitter betrayal by the closest person to her.

Does it hurt Crow? I don't know. I think he respects Eileen, I think he values her and knows that he will never meet a better and more honest warrior. Maybe he's sorry he had to do it. But no more than that. Is he heartless? Not really. What's inside him? I think he wants to get back what he lost a long time ago. Unfortunately, it's human nature. Even if we feel very good in a new home, we will agonize and think about the old one we were deprived of, that old home will always be "more valuable" in our imagination….

Small headcanons and relationships!

Damian + Eileen. (of course I started with Damian I am sorry lol... My fav will be everywhere) The two met when Eileen first arrived in Yharnam. Their little unspoken friendship began over a glass of Eileen's tincture. Almost no one knew of this acquaintance, but somehow they were comfortable in each other's company. Perhaps because they were both kind-hearted adults for everyone else and had a warm personality and compassion for others.

Damian was visiting Micolash's mummy, constantly lighting candles in the hall where he is. But on one of his visits, he was able to open the empty building of the School of Mensis. He found Edgar's corpse there. He called Eileen because he wanted to give him a proper burial. Together they performed the ceremony in the proper manner. They couldn't know it, but Edgar's soul and mind, trapped in a nightmare, felt better. And when the hunter killed him finally - his soul was free and cleansed, thanks to this ritual.

Eileen + Gascoigne + Henryk + Viola. A real family friendship! Gascoigne is also a foreigner, as is Eileen, and Henryk isn't really from around here… I think Eileen was the best friend of the family, and Gascoigne's little daughters adored her! It's a common headcanon, and I like it a lot :^) They were all very connected… (I think Crow have been a frequent visitor to their house with Eileen. And Eileen would tell stories about him at the table and Crow would resent xd)

Crow + Annalise. OooOooOoooh, I'm chuffed, to tell you the truth xddd But! I think Crow could have been very much in love with Annalise as a boy, carrying that feeling for an immortal woman through the years. Only - he would still be a "boy" to her, and he would have to prove that he had indeed grown up. And, thanks to Eileen's influence, he would succeed!

Crow + Maria. In my version, they're quite different ages, but I think there's definitely a family connection between them. At least as a young boy he would have seen Maria within the castle walls. I think they would have grimaced, showing each other tongues because they're both kids at heart xd And for a while they could both learn the Blade skill, where Crow would be enamored with blood magic and Maria would be the opposite. (I really need to make a table of character ages by time of events, because otherwise I get confused, and I have different ages for Maria in different headcanons! xd)

Crow + Alfred. Alfred would probably look like a nasty little bug to Crow, wouldn't he? The kind that's annoying just by the sight of it. (I like bugs actually, all I want to say is that Crow despises Alfred) He'd obviously have heard of a follower of Martyr Logarius who zealously seeks revenge for his teacher? (I'm surprised there is no quest line in the game where these two meet and try to kill each other) And Crow couldn't even imagine this man violently cut his Queen open one day... (thanks, Hunter! xd).

Crow + Arianna. Oh, I think he would despise her as well. Not because of her kind of job, but because she, an heiress of noble blood, an aristocrat, lives under the wing of the Yharnamites who exterminated her people. I think he would have tried to kill her! But Arianna is not so simple. He simply wouldn't have succeeded. You know, that spectacular scene in the movie where the killer comes for his victim and she welcomes him with open arms, completely naked and defenseless, and he gets lost, because he's still just a young boy, not a man… If there were no such scenes, I'm sorry, but that's how I see it xd

Little Headcanons:

Crow has always wanted to wear long, luxurious curls, and Eileen was always cutting his hair, all through his youth, to make him look better (I wanted to first justify that long hair in combat is inconvenient, but it hasn't hindered anyone in Fromsoftware games yet, so okay xd)

Crow is ENTP, you can't convince me otherwise lol…. (maybe you can)

He's also great with kids, I think because kids can sense strong people and are often drawn to them, and he's exactly like that, independent and cool, so Gascoigne's daughters loved him! (He also doesn't mind playing with dolls, just in secret.)

Crow's birth name is Astolf.

I think Annalise knows Crow exists, when Good Hunter comes to the castle. But she doesn't want us to know it.

Crow and Eileen have come a long way together - growing up, accepting their own flaws, that deep bond between them where two can live like a real family while being completely unrelated. But Crow still belongs to Cainhurst and to his Queen, and so his and Eileen's paths have diverged.

Hope you enjoy reading all of those!

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 27- KCON 2014

Chapter Summary: BTS attend KCON for the first time. Jennie meets G-Dragon. Someone makes a surprise visit for Jennie

Words: 5,000+

-----

'Los Angeles, California'

Standing in front of their van, they applauded in front of the cameras, eager to what was to come for K-Con. Jennie wore jean shorts, Nikes and a Spongebob shirt. She also wore a black snapback over her head.

"Where do you guys want to go?" Suga asked. "I wore a Mickey Mouse hat because I want to go to Disneyland!"

"Go to Disney World, in Florida!" Jennie suggested. "We should all go, one day."

"We just changed, why don't we go to the beach?" Rapmon mentioned. "I didn't get first place last time nor go to the beach!" He whined.

"Breathe!" Jen shouted as she started shaking him, to calm him down.

"We need to go to the beach!" Jimin declared.

Raising his hand, J-Hope spoke, "Let's go shopping!"

"Yeah! Shopping!" Jin agreed

"What? Shopping? I'm in." Rapmon laughed

"Beach!" Jen said in a loud voice. "B.E.A.C.H!"

"I guess we are going to the beach since the majority of the members want to go to the beach."

Suga shrugged. "For the members who couldn't go last time." He placed a hand on Jimin's shoulder.

"I like the beach, too." Jungkook added

"Beaches in Los Angeles are very famous."

"We can go for Rap Monster and Jimin."

"Shopping is so tempting, too."

After bickering, they headed into the bus. Jennie laughed at J-Hope's excessive screaming along with V and Suga. The rest of the members just stare. 

"They're out of their minds." Jin declared.

"I should have voted for shopping." Rapmon chuckled to himself.

Watching the guys bicker about the beaches in Busan, they turn to her and ask her about the beaches in America. "Depends on where you go. You'd have to see it in person." She answered. When they received a poster with their faces on it, Jen snickered at her photo as they started the ladder game. "Is my head really that big?"

'What is the ladder game?'

'After a member draws a random line to connect the columns, follow the path to see which team member will be placed in it.'

"These are old pic of us." Jungkook pointed out

"My hair looks a hot mess in this picture, ugh." Jen cringed at how her curls were all over the place.

"Aw! Ennie's hair!" V cooed.

"Please stop." She groaned.

"You look like you're going to kill someone." Jimin pointed to J-Hope, looking at his photo with the mask.

"These are our debut album pictures." Jin asserted.

"These are from more than a year ago," Suga added.

"Can we not look at these pictures again, please?" Rap Monster asked.

'What is the image game?'

'Point to the member that best fits the answer to the question. Who is the most popular member to fans?'

"Who's the most childish?" Suga read the card. "Three, two, one!"

Jennie pointed to Jin while the rest pointed at each other. "Why me? Why?" Jin looked around, over the loud shouts of his name.

"We all picked Jin!" Suga cheered.

"There is a reason for it." Jin tried to explain. "I'm 23 years old and our youngest member is 16 in America. I'm trying so hard to get along with you guys."

"Is that why you buy Mario toys?" Rapmon threw him under the bus.

"Even adults like Mario!"

"Many adults collect toys as a hobby." Suga bluntly agreed. "Next, which member is the trickster?"

"We don't even have to think about this one." V laughed as everyone pointed to Suga.

"I still feel like you're gonna draw on my face again." Jennie let out a sigh. Suga chuckled to himself, considering her words. "Don't get any big ideas!"

"No promises. Who's the best duo in BTS?" Suga read the card and everyone pointed to Jimin and V. "The 1995 duo."

"Please stop picking on each other!" Rapmon exclaimed while Jimin and V bickered back and forth saying what

"Who is the most beautiful member?"

Not thinking much of it, Jen pointed to Jin while the rest of the members pointed to her.

Jin pointed to himself but widened his eyes in surprise at the result. "Wha!? Not me? I'm the princess!" He sputtered.

"Miss Bangtan is the most beautiful. End of discussion!" Jimin shouted.

"I'm offended." Jin huffed

After playing, Suga won the game with three picks and he drew the lines on the board. Team A consisted of J-Hope, Rapmon, Suga and Jungkook. Team B currently consisted of V and Jimin. And once Suga put Jennie on Team B, Jimin and V started cheering enthusiastically.

Jungkook looked at the board, to see what the fuss was about and yelled, "NO!"

"YES~" V cheered.

"This can't be right!"

"IT IS~"

"AHAHAHAH! WE HAVE JENNIE! IN YOUR FACE!" Jimin shouted and held her hand, giving it a few kisses. "Thank you, Jennie. Thank you. We will win for sure!"

"You're welcome?" She let out a soft laugh.

"We're going to win~" V cheered, high fiving Jimin and Jin.

"I will be the leader of Team B." Jimin suggested.

Jungkook swiped her hat over her head and put it on his head instead, while she tried to get it back, failing every attempt. "We have the main vocal and the rappers." Rap Monster confidently spoke.

"They have the leftovers."

"UM! Who you calling a leftover? We're winning this, so that smile won't be on your face for long." Jennie called him out.

"We'll see, missy."

Arriving at the beach, they announced the three missions.

'Mission #1: Take a picture with someone holding a camera'

'Mission #2: Take a picture with someone holding a surfboard'

'Mission #3: Teach someone the Bangtan Chant'

"I'm so happy Ennie is on our team. We can easily communicate." V sighed out of relief.

"Oh yeah? Well, we have Rapmon!" Jungkook shouted in annoyance.

"Don't rely on me!" Rap Monster let out a whine.

'First team to successfully complete all three missions will be deemed the prize winning victor!'

Walking outside, Jennie looked around to find two teen boys with a surfboard. "Over there!" She pointed while her team ran past her to approach them

"Can I take a picture with you?" Jin asked in English.

"Hey! Can we take a picture with you?" Jennie added on, meeting up with them.

"Yeah, go for it." The boy shrugged while Jimin held the camera.

"Should we flex?" The second boy asked, trying to show off his muscles.

"One! Two! Three!" Jimin took the photo.

"Thank you!" Jin politely said in English.

They hug them and cheer before running off to the next mission. Rushing past Team A, Jennie decided to swipe her snapback off Jungkook's head, earning a loud "Yah!" in response as she ran off ahead.

Turning around, she stuck her tongue out and ran along with her team, ignoring his shouts.

"Can we do the chant first?" Jimin asked

"We might as well!" Jennie answered and approached a group of girls. "Hi, do you mind chanting with us?"

"Chanting?" One of the girls questioned.

"We need to say, 'Bangtan, Bangtan! And you have to say Bang Bangtan! Think you can do that for us?"

"And take picture," Jin added. "One, two! Bangtan, Bangtan, Bang Bangtan and picture, click!"

Jimin set up the camera. Team B shouted, "Bangtan Bangtan, Bang Bangtan!" With the group and snapped a photo.

"Thank you so much! Have a great day!" Jennie thanked them and ran with her team.

"Oh no, they're almost finished!" J-Hope looked on.

"One last mission!" Jennie exclaimed.

Her heart was racing, her team had to win this. She didn't want to lose.

"Let's go find a camera!" Jin dashed forward. "Where is the camera, man!? Camera, camera."

"Let's go closer to the water. I feel like it'd be easier if we got closer to the water." Jimin suggested.

"Alright, let's move." V walked along and the team walked into the street. "Sorry!"

"Sorry!" Jimin turns to the cars, looking apologetic.

"Screw it, I am not apologizing, the light is green. Just keep running," Jennie huffed out of breath. Near the beach, they continued their search. Hectically searching for someone with a camera until they approached a couple. "Excuse me! Hi! We're currently on a mission and we have to take a picture with someone holding a camera, do you mind if we take a picture with you?"

"Oh, sure." The lady obliged and Jimin quickly took the picture.

"Thank you so much! Have a good one!"

"RUN!" Jimin shouted as they started to dash back to the bus. Jennie sprinted ahead of them. "Run Jennie! Run like the wind! Run like it's the last time you're running! RUUNNNNNNNN~!"

"It's too hot to be running." She sprinted her way to the bus, in the heat. They stopped at a red light as Team A joined them. Gasping for air, she put her hands on her knees for a moment and stood back up. Glistening with sweat, thanks to the physical activity, Jen remained determined to win the challenge with her team.

"We have Jungkook!" Rap Monster happily said. "I have faith in you."

Glancing at Jungkook, she caught him competitively staring her down. He had a cocky smirk on his face as he prepared himself. "If I win, I want your smarties." He demanded.

"Hell no! Not on my watch! If I win, you're not getting any!"

"Make the best team win."

Once the light turned green, Jin held onto Jungkook while Jennie sprinted ahead with her team to get the first seats in the van.

"We won!" Jimin happily cheered. "We arrived first!"

Feeling accomplished, Jennie sighed out of relief and shouted, "AYEEEE!"

After everyone got back in the van, Rap Monster murmured in defeat, "Alright, we lost...I called you guys the leftovers but we lost." 

Jimin spoke, "It's our destiny. How could you call us the leftovers? I was so upset that I had to win!"

"It was more like, who could run faster?" Suga added

"I know, I trusted Jungkook!" Rap Monster exclaimed

"Jin grabbed my arm!" Jungkook explained. "And I wanted Jennie's smarties!"

"Here, you goofball, I was planning on giving you some, anyway!" She laughed and handed him a few packs.

"I'm happy, now."

"What's the prize?" Suga asked as the producer checked out the photos from both teams. After showing off their photos, Jimin continuously asked for the prize.

For the prize, it was mini display surfboards.

"Awe yeeahhhh!" Jennie happily accepted the surfboard. Her surfboard was orange and black, showing off a tropical vibe.

"They're for display." Jungkook looked on

"I don't need it at all!" Rapmon brushed it aside.

"I think these could be a nice display in our recording room," Jin said

"Since you did your best, I will give these to everybody." The producer handed them more mini surfboards. Jimin held them hostage while the guys tried to snatch them from him.

----

'KCON 2014 Downtown, LA'

When it was time for the High Touch, BTS walked out to piercing screams and cheers. Jennie matched her members' grey clothes with her hair out in curls.

The cheers were welcoming, yet deafening.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"JUNGKOOKIE! JUNGKOOK-AH! YOU'RE SO CUTE!"

"J-HOPE!"

"RAPMON!"

"JENNIE! OH MY GOD!"

Smiling and waving at the screaming crowd, Jen stood in between Suga and Jin as the eight members greeted the crowd on stage. She blew kisses at the fans and laughed at how their screaming got even louder.

After greeting the fans during the fan engagement, each of the members took the time to introduce themselves to the crowd. Once it was her turn to speak, she looked around at the eager smiles of the fans who were thrilled to see her and the rest of the members.

"Hey~" She waved before widening her eyes at the loud screams. "Oh wow! I wasn't prepared!" She let out a laugh.

"JENNIE, I LOVE YOU!" A fan shouted

"I love you, too! What's up, guys!? I'm so happy to be back, in America! I see you and the fan signs." She pointed to a few fans who made Jennie signs. "For those who don't know me, I'm Jennie! Your Bangtan Girl. I love y'all~ thank you so much for coming to see us!" She let out another laugh over their high pitched screams.

"YES GIRL!"

"JENNIE~"

When asked by the MC if they could choose any K-pop group who would it be and why, Rap Monster answered in English, "If we had a chance, of course, it would be Big Bang."

"Any particular reason?" The MC asked

"Of course, their music is crazy and their performances are crazy." He rambled on.

"Yes, and they're badass!" Jennie enthused. 

G-Dragon is supposed to be performing at K-Con, maybe she could try to find him and introduce herself, if possible.

When asked about what was it like to debut, their experience, and what it's like up until now, Jennie genuinely answered after Rapmon. "Honestly, I still can't believe I'm here. Like I'm surrounded by all these amazing fans and a part of an amazing group. I'm grateful. I was so nervous when I first debuted. I get butterflies, just thinking about it. Coming from America to Korea was a big change and I honestly never imagined I would get this far, especially with these guys. Anything you set your mind to, just go for it. Anything can happen if you work hard. Thank you for the support!"

Once asked about their passions outside of performing and doing music, Jennie smiled at some of her member's broken English. When Jin handed her the mic, she answered, "I love playing the guitar, so I like to work on my guitar skills."

"I'm about to cry, she's so cool!" A fan said while filming on their phone.

"I also like to play golf. I have a guilty pleasure for it." Jennie shrugged with a smile.

"Ugh! She's so precious." Another fan said while filming.

For the final question, they are asked what games they like to play or things they like to do when bored, Rap Monster answered, "We play crazy music and dance around." He started dancing. "TURN UP!"

For the high touch session, standing in between V and Suga, Jennie kept a bright smile on her face as each of the fans walked across the stage, tagging each of their hands.

"Jennie~" A girl squealed in a high pitched voice as she tagged her hand. Jen let out a giggle at her fangirling. It was something she was still not used to.

"Your hands are so soft!" A guy, around her age exclaimed as soon as he tagged her hand.

"Thanks, cutie! Lotion does wonders." She quipped with a soft chuckle.

"OMG! You are my bias!" Another girl told her, shaking her hand.

"R-really? Wow. I'm pleasantly surprised. Usually, it's the guys."

"You're more popular here in America than you think. I love everything about you! Please don't stop doing what you're doing. You're my inspiration to become an American K-Pop idol."

"Thank you. No matter what, never give up. Continue to practice and work hard. It may be tiring, it may feel like your dream is far away, but it may be closer than you think. Believe in yourself. You got this. I'm looking forward to seeing you as a trainee and debuting as a soloist or in a K-Pop group in the future, missy." She gave her hands a gentle squeeze as the girl choked out a thank you because of the tears in her eyes.

Once the next female fan approached her to tag her hand, she said without nervousness in her voice, "Hi Jennie! I love your smile!"

"Hi! I love your smile, too, cutie!"

"Jennie, will you please marry me?" Another asked her as he held her hands. He too, looked around her age. "You slay my life. I have the biggest friggin' crush on you. You are seriously just too beautiful."

His eagerness and admiration in his eyes touched her. "Ight. When and where?" She teased. He freaked out in response, getting flustered before he moved on to the next member.

"I love you, Jennie!" A fan said as she passed by her.

"Love you, too!" Jen responded.

After the high touch, Jennie sat next to V and Suga at the table while groups of fans came by for their autographs.

When a teen girl approached her, she started to tear up as she held back the tears. Jennie's expression softened when she looked up at her. "Aw! Smile! Don't cry!" She held her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You're real right?" She asked in a shaky voice. "I'm not dreaming?"

"Nope, in the flesh is the Bangtan Girl." She smiled sweetly and signed her autograph.

"Jennie! When are you dying your hair like the other guys? Your hair is the same color for the past few comebacks." Another fan questioned curiously.

"When you least expect it." She winked. 

Big Hit told her they wanted to leave her hair alone until a future comeback. She was looking forward to the day she would get her hair dyed but also nervous because her hair had never been touched.

"How do you deal with the hate?" A male fan asked as she signed his autograph.

"Honestly, not everyone is going to like me. I understand that. Some crazy fangirls are still angry about having a girl in BTS, claiming they want to kill me and such a such, but Rap Monster helped me to ignore the hate. He told me, 'Ignore the bullshit and not waste my time on the haters'."

"Smart man." The guy nodded. "I agree, don't even worry about the haters. Keep doing what you're doing. I enjoy having a girl in BTS. It brings a nice mix. Been a while since we've seen a coed K-Pop group. Don't worry, your USA fans have your back."

"Thanks, man!" She fist bumped him.

"Jennie, are you ever going to show your abs like the rest of the guys? You never lift your shirt in the bulletproof dance. You remind me of DO from EXO because he hasn't shown his abs yet, either." Another fan commented.

"Hahah, my abs are a work in progress. You'll see them when I'm ready."

"Can't wait! I bet it'll be when we least expect it. You're going to kill us, aren't you?"

"Maybe~."

Once the next fan approached her, she happily greeted them. "I always wanted to meet you and ask you advice on something." The guy mentioned as she looked up at him.

"What do you want advice on?"

"I want to become a rapper for a K-Pop group. But people always keep telling me it's impossible. But then I saw you...and you gave me hope that I can do it. That it is possible to be an American in a K-Pop group. How can I keep the doubts away?"

"With the people saying it's impossible, don't let that discourage you. Don't allow people to tell you that you can't do this or that. If you want to become an American rapper in a K-Pop group, go to all the auditions they have, continue working on your skills and never give up. Prove them wrong. Prove that it isn't impossible. It isn't impossible. You can do it,"

"Thank you...I really can't wait to see your growth in BTS. Been a fan since Amity."

Widening her eyes, she started to grin. "R-really?"

"Yeah, been there since day one. You're cuter than I remembered. I believe leaving the group was your best decision. You're so happy, with BTS. I've noticed."

"Smart fan, that's for sure."

"Uh huh. Can't wait to see you do big things with BTS."

"Thank you. I will never forget my fans since I started performing. If it wasn't for fans like you, I wouldn't be where I am, with all the support. So, I thank you."

"Thank you for sharing your talent with us." He smiled and moved on to the next member. Next fan snuck in a camera to record her. "Jennie, I know I'm not supposed to film but can you say hi Tateana, to my friend?"

"Yeah, sure." She looked at the hidden camera and waved. "Hey, Tateana! Wish you could be here! Thank you for supporting BTS! I hope you're having a great day! Love you, girl!"

"You're the best! Thank you!"

"Jennie! I snuck in to give you smarties!" Another fan handed it to her and her eyes lit up.

"Aw, nice! You are friggin the best! I was craving Smarties, you the MVP! Jungkook ate the rest of my smarties without telling me."

As the last group approached them during the autograph session, Jennie had her head down when she heard someone say, "Hello JW."

"Hi, what's your..." She trailed off as soon as she lifted up her head. Her stomach dropped while the guys watched her with knowing smiles and the fans were questioning her expression change.

"Hah! She's shooked!"

"Deadass...Wow, her reaction was better than expected."

"Is this how you're going to greet us?"

"She's still shooked."

Jen's throat tightened up as hot tears filled up her eyes, covering her mouth as she stood up. There in front of her were her two sisters.

"Surprise, bitch!" Vienna laughed. "Wow! You should've seen the look on your face! Hahaha!"

Out of nowhere, Jennie jumped over the table to attack them with a big hug, earning cheered and awes from the crowd. 

"What are you two doing here!?" She shouted in a brittle voice.

"Nice to see you too!" Alani laughed.

"What do you mean what are we doing here? We came to see you, goofball!" Vienna exclaimed.

"Mom and Dad send their love. They weren't able to come with us, but they're hoping to see you soon."

Letting go of them, Jen couldn't stop smiling. Even if their reunion was brief, just the fact that she could see her sisters was more than enough to boost her mood.

"We know you're busy but we wanted to visit you. Gosh, look at you. So pretty. You're glowing." Alani sighed.

"Working hard on the new album?" Vienna crossed her arms.

"Definitely." Jennie nodded.

"How's your guitar? Not slacking, are you?"

"No slacking."

"Good. All right, we gotta go! But we'll see you when you go backstage! Thank Rap Monster for allowing us to come backstage with you!"

Surprised, Jen turned her head to Namjoon, who smiled and waved at her. "You did this?" She questioned while he grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "Thank you for this."

"Anytime, JW."

After the autograph session, Jennie's sisters were allowed to go backstage with her when they had their break.

"So, what's the guy's name that you've been hanging 'round with a lot?" Vienna asked.

"I hang out with all seven of them. Be specific." Jen declared

"His name is Cook. I think his name is cookie? With a C?"

"K. Kookie. That's one of his nicknames. His name is Jungkook."

"Joon kook?"

"Jung. Kook."

"Jung-kook. Ah. Okay. I'll call him Kookie for now. He's cute! I love his smile! You two dating? When are you going to start dating? Do any of the members like you?"

"Oh, my God..." Jennie groaned, facepalming.

"I'm serious, I dunno what goes down in Korea, but they're all good looking, so you never know. Do you like any of them?"

"I have a brother and sister bond, with them!"

"Uh huh. Wait until you get older and the baby fat goes away. You probably won't think one of them is just a friend to you. Okay, so here's what you gotta do. You have condoms, right? I mean, I got some if you want-"

"VIENNA!"

"What? I'm trying to set a good example! Safe sex is better! Make sure you have condoms. And it may hurt the first time so-"

"Oh, my God, PLEASE, stop! I'm not dating, anyone! We're all busy trying to promote music, what are we going to do in a relationship? It won't work."

"IF you weren't dating someone in the group, maybe? You never know who may be looking your way! Just choose your boyfriend wisely. Make sure he's cute, treats you right, makes you laugh, all that good stuff."

"Vienna, I got it. I'm not dating, anytime soon."

"Hit me up when you start getting in your feelings. Been there, done that. Wait...what's this?" She grabbed her hand and checked out her friendship ring.

"It's a friendship ring."

"Who gave this to you? It looks nice. Oh! Kookie gave this to you? FUTURE ENGAGEMENT!" 

"STOP! It's not like that!"

"I gotta tell Alani. Better yet, let me ask Kookie himself!"

"NO!" Jen shouted in horror, running after Vienna. She managed to jump on her back, halting her steps.

People laughed at their banter while Alani sighed when she watched the two bicker.

"Oh, my GOD! Stop harassing her! Leave Jennie alone!" Alani shouted in annoyance. "Am I the only mature one, around here?"

After catching up with her sisters, they left to attend the rest of the convention, saying their heartfelt goodbyes. It sucked she would have to leave them, again, but it was nice to see family, back at home.

Walking backstage after eating, Jen's stomach dropped when she saw G-Dragon nearby, sitting on a chair, on his phone. How in the world just luck manage to have him right there in front of her? Her mom always told her, to just walk up to people and introduce yourself and see how everything goes.

With butterflies in her stomach, she decided to approach him.

'He's just a guy. An epic guy, might I add. But just say hi. Say hi and run away.' She thought as she made her way to him. "Excuse me." Her voice sounded more timid than usual.

Looking up from his phone, G-Dragon immediately smiled softly, causing her face to warm up. 

"Hi! My name is Jennie. From BTS. It's so nice to finally meet you, G-Dragon." She bowed politely.

She felt like she was about to embarrass herself as she tried to keep herself together. But the way he stared at her, so intently, was intimidating. He stood up and bowed as well.

"Hi!" He intertwined his hands with hers and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Jennie. I've heard a lot about you."

'He's holding my hands-he's holding my hands! Act natural!' She freaked out in her head. 

"Re-really? I hope it's all positive. Gosh, I'm trying not to pass out. You're so amazing."

"Thank you, I think you're amazing, too. First time at K-Con? What do you think?"

"I love it! They need to continue this. I believe K-Con will get bigger, every year. I hope we can come back again next year or in the near future. I'm looking forward to your performance. I know it's gonna be lit."

"Are you adjusting to the industry, well? It's not every day we see a girl like you in a K-Pop group. Your Korean is very good."

'Look at me, having a conversation with G-Dragon and he's complimenting me on my Korean. Don't let me wake up from this dream, yet!' She thought. 

"I'm well-adjusted now, thanks for asking. The members helped me with everything. I'm enjoying this opportunity."

G-Dragon continued to stare down at her with a smile. "BTS, right?"

"Yep. We're working on our new album, it'll be coming out soon. Um, do you mind if we take a picture? The guys aren't going to believe me when I tell them, I met you."

Letting out a laugh, he nodded and gestured for her to take out her phone. Taking out her phone, and opening the camera app, he put his arm around her shoulders and flashed a grin for the camera while she smiled for the selfie.

Then she decided to take a video. "We're here at KCON LA! And explain to me why I'm with THE G-Dragon, right now? I'm screaming internally!"

"What up!?" He threw up a peace sign. "Shout out to BTS! Shout out to Miss Bangtan! Good luck with your upcoming album!"

After posting the video and selfie on the BTS Twitter, tweeting, 'LIFE IS COMPLETE! G-DRAGON! #Jen'

He was very kind and patient with her as she asked him questions about his experiences so far as a K-Pop Idol and being with Big Bang.

"Some advice I can give to you is to know what you're good at. Keep improving your skills. Challenge yourself. Your dream was to be a part of a K-Pop group? Now dream even bigger. And try not to put a lot of pressure on yourself, or wear yourself out. Take it one day at a time." He advised, while she listened intently, nodding at his words of wisdom.

"I'll work hard."

"Good. I'll be watching you. Do you have an Instagram?"

"I deleted it. I was going to make a new one, soon."

"Okay, when you make a new one, follow me. I'm interested in your growth, here. I gotta get ready, but remember what I said. I'm looking forward to running into you, again. Maybe at the MAMA Awards." He smiled brightly and walked away.

Exhaling as she watched him leave, she ended up smiling and clapped her hands in excitement. She'll never forget the day she had a conversation with G-Dragon.

Back to where the guys were, Jennie walked in and was immediately shaken by Jimin, who shouted "HOW!?" in her face.

"How what!?" She shouted back.

"HOW WHAT!? How'd you meet G-Dragon!?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Hobi's loud screams were heard as she was bombarded with questions by the rest.

"One at a time! Jeesh!" Jen calmed everyone down. "All I did was approach him and say hi. I didn't think it would be so hard despite my nervousness. He had to leave to perform but I managed to get a picture and video. He's very kind by the way. Even cuter up close."

After the fuss, Jennie watched on at the guys goofing off, pretending to make a commercial. J-Hope blew the hairdryer at Jennie's hair and she flipped her hair, pretending to look sexy for the camera as she gazed at it.

"Ah! That's too sexy!" Jin pushed her aside. "This is a family program!"

"Hey!" She shouted.

"You look like a horse," Suga told J-Hope when his face was all up in the camera.

"You look like a turtle." He replied.

Later, Jungkook started making a beat to prepare Jimin and V to have a freestyle rap battle. 

Standing in between Suga and J-Hope, she rocked back and forth with everyone, shouting, "Aye! Aye! Aye!"

Starting first, Jimin rapped, "Oh no! You tucked your shirt in! That means I'm going to beat you hard! I'm going to punch you hard! And then you'll roll on the floor. And then you'll die!"

"WHA?!" Jennie shouted over the erupted laughs of the members. "V is precious to us all, let's not kill him!"

"Dude, he said he'll kill you. Come on." Rapmon beckoned V.

After V swallowed his food, he said, "Yo!"

"If you keep repeating, 'yo', I'll punch your face!" Jimin added.

"Oh, man!" Suga shouted.

"You gotta come back from that, V! Spit something!" Jennie encouraged

"Yo! I'm chewing on kimbap! Oh, I want to chew your face, too!" V rapped, cupping Jimin's face.

"PFF!" Jen's loud laugh was heard as she held onto Rapmon. "I can't!"

"I want to swallow it, but I can't because of your face!" He started dancing

"What is going on!?"

"What the heck is he saying?" Jimin asked with a laugh.

"Yo! I just ate my lunch but I can't digest it." V went on

"He's not even rapping. Don't beatbox for him."

"Yo, Jay-Z! Yo, Kanye West! Yo, Jimin! So much height difference."

"You have to rhyme." Jimin laughed. "You're just dissing me!"

"It's a different style of rap." V explained. "Yo, I was eating but none of you are funny. I was observing,"

"You're done." J-Hope hit him with the card while Rapmon pushed him back.

Jin was requested to go next. "You can say whatever you want." Rap Monster explained.

"Yo, Jimin! I was listening to your rap all these years! Why don't you throw it away? Your rap is so corrupted. I rap just like...Jay-Z!" Jin rapped while giggling.

As Jen dropped her jaw at his words, Suga shouted out of nowhere, coming in between the two, "Oh my God! OH SHIT! OH MY GOD! It's all over! He raps like Jay-Z! OH MY GOD!"

Squinting his eyes shut, Rap Monster shouted, "WE CAN'T AIR THIS!"

As she continued to laugh out loud, Jen managed to shout, "WAIT! WAIT! That did NOT just happen!"

Meanwhile, Suga continued his freak out, "He's like Jay-Z! Period! Oh man, he's like Jay-Z!"

"I think Jin is out of his mind." J-Hope giggled.

Turning to the camera, Jin said, "I sincerely apologize to all the fans of Jay-Z and hip hop. I just did it to entertain you guys."

-------

The next day was the time of the performance. They were waiting backstage. The loud cheers of the fans were deafening as Jennie had butterflies in her stomach. When the eight of them rose on stage, she looked around in awe, with the fans holding onto their light sticks and other items. After performing No More Dream and Boy In Luv, the eight members make their way to introduce themselves to the crowd.

"WOO HOO!" Jennie shouted on the mic, to louder cheers. "Heh, heh, can you guys get even louder!?"

As the cheers went up a volume, Jen nodded in approval, shooting up a thumbs up.

"All right! All right!" Rap Monster shouted. Standing at the end with V, Jen continued to listen to Rap Monster speak to the crowd. "It's great to be able to perform here in LA, right? So honored. For those of you who don't know us, we're BTS, we debuted last year. For those of you who don't know us, we would like to introduce ourselves. Let's start with J-Hope."

"Woo! Good to see you! I'm your hope! J-HOOPPPEEE! WOO!"

Jimin breathed on the mic and smiled. "WHAT'S UP LAAAAAAAAA! WOO! I'm Jimin, yeah~"

"Errbody I'm Rap Monster, leader of BTS, TURN UP!"

"It's an honor to be here in LA. I'm Jungkook!" He waved.

"Hi everyone! My name is Jin!"

"WHAT'S UP LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!? I'm Suga thank you for coming!"

V looked around at the crowd, earning more screams. "HOW ARE YOU!? AH! ME TOO! V!" He cutely waved.

With a hand on her hip, Jennie eagerly looked around as the crowd cheered louder. "Aye yo! Aye yo! Make some noise for your bulletproof girl scout!" She shouted, throwing the mic up in the air, to listen to the loud cheers. "My name is Jennie! I'm so happy to be here, today! Thank you, LA, for having us! I hope you're enjoying the show so far!"

After Rap Monster recapped their journey of American Hustle Life, they go to their next song, Bulletproof.

When it was Jen's turn to sing, she got in the front of them, singing her verse.

Badda bing badda boom!

Jennie's here

I have no fear...so don't try to stop me

Hah!

Tellin' me your doubts...won't change my mind

You want me to party? I don't have time.

I've been busy workin'

I've been busy dancin'

I'm never prancin'

"Just enhancing!" She sang, hearing the crowd sing with her as she smiled proudly

I will preserve and you can't stop my flow

I'm in my own lane, I'm here to attain

"I got people asking, who's the girl?" She pointed her mic to the crowd as they loudly sang, "The one with the curls! Representing the girls!"

Impressed at their passion for singing along with her, she continued to sing, "I'm the one with the swag and I don't mean to brag but I broke oppositions to get where I am today!"

'Last Day In LA'

Arriving at the airport, the eight members made their way inside the airport. With the camera following them, Jennie turned to the camera and says, "I'm bummed we have to leave. I'm happy I could see my sisters. K-Con was lit! I hope to come back soon!"

"I'm so sad!" Jimin whined.

"It was such a bittersweet experience," J-Hope commented.

"Hi, Jennie!" Fans greeted as she waved at the fans. "Bye V! Bye Jennie! Bye, Jimin!"

Getting on the airplane, Jennie sat by the window with J-Hope in the middle and Rap Monster next to him. J-Hope had his camera on and said in English, "Hello, everyone! I'm J-Hope. Right now, Bangtan is headed back to Korea. We just came to LA. I'm thinking about attempting to converse in all English, starting now."

Turning to Rap Monster, J-Hope greeted him. "Hey, Rap Monster!"

"Hi!" He greeted in English

"How are you?"

J-Hope was confused at what his response was and let out a laugh, shifting the camera to Jennie. "Yeah, Jennie, how are you?"

Looking up from her phone, she put up the peace sign to the camera. "Just chilling, how are you?"

"Good! Good! Rap Monster English very hard. Bear with me. Hey! Jimin! Now English time. Be quiet. How are you?"

"Uh, so good." Jimin answered

"You look so happy. Why happy?" He asked while Jimin tried to figure out what to say. He let out a sigh. "M-my heart is, oh my God."

"We are in America," Jimin said

"Los Angeles."

"LA! LA, man!" Jimin made the LA hand sign, making Jennie giggle at his goofiness. Somehow, he spit out some of his saliva and J-Hope called it dirty water. "Handsome guy, man!"

J-Hope turned the camera back to himself. "Oh, Jimin is very no fun."

"Indeed." Jennie played along. "Such a party pooper."

"Jimin?" Rap Monster asked

"Yeah?"

"You got no jams."

[carmenized-onions]

chapter 12, new chapter yeeeehawwww

THAT FUCKING PIC HOLY MOLY

not the flight pun… (i love puns but wow just wow)

THE LOCATION IS STILL ON, I REPEAT THE LOCATION IS STILL ON (he deffo didn’t forget, he purposfully chose to keep it like that i just know:’)) )

EVA DREW A PICTURE OF HER???🥹🥹🥹

ignore the Bear in the room - 💀💀💀

Something? Or, rather, explicitly, that’s nothing. - LMAO. also yay carmen didn’t give the creep her number :D

Sydney sleeps on your shoulder, for most of the plane ride - CUTIES. get me those squidinky (kissing) crumbs

“what are we?’” Answers Syd - 👀👀👀

see if he needed help with getting ready - omg that would’ve been so cute tho her helping him tie a tie or fix his bow or cufflinks or whatever

Plus, the amount you saved on splitting a one bed? - one bed for the economy tropeeeee

pinning the collar pins on her uniform - ayo? that’s kinda 👀

I think it’s peach - like the drink she made🥺

Pbb—Fuck, - LSNEKKRKE she’s adorable

“Chip, can you put these fuckin’ things on f’me?” - SO CUTEEE. BESTIESSSSSS

the dirty details? - evil to not let us know but alas it needs to make sense with where chippy’s head is at I GUESS

I’m waitin’ on my informer - chippy cringed but i aweed

“I know.” - THEYRE SUCH BESTIES SHUT UPPPP

whore-derve— - the way i stopped mid-tea-sip

You angle your body from Richie to her, deadpanning. “Just because you went to the fuckin’ FBI or whatever the fuck—” - LMAOOO the chip and richie tag team we love to see it

Carmen did your prep entirely himself. - i’m gonna fucking sob???? YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON ME I-

So no one else could’ve left the simple braised beef sandwich on your station. […] Your order at The Beef. - HE IS THE CUTEST EVER. did he actually do something wrong? i seem to have forgotten -

He nods, like he understands, walking away - me even when i haven’t gotten a fucking clue about what they actually wanted me to do

“Insane thing to say about your five-year-old.” - indeed it is. though hilarious. this chapter is lighter, more banter, which is nice

Yeah. They had lavender and maple syrup behind the bar. - SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE THEM I MISS THEM SOMMUCH THEYRE EVERYTHING TO ME GGFFHHHHFHFHD

“Aye aye, Chippy.” - so cute. chippy could be a pirate name

Still failed Mikey, no matter how hard you tried. - stop it 🗞️💥

this chapter is making me really miss being on bar

You really need to start telling people you don’t know how to make bellinis. - Chippy let me get on bar with you, i’ll make all the bellinis for you (even tho i hate opening champagne bottles)

“Tiny quiche?”- richie i love you i love you i love you

“Don’t ask. Tell.” - nice

‘couldn’t stop him lmk if it’s bad’ - IS CARMY COMING :33333

“You need a barback?” - *see attached pic* he’s EVERYTHING. words cannot begin to express how much i love him. why is he not real i will midsommar myself

like accidentally used half the bottle levels like you. - HES SO CUTE C’MON

You’ll probably miss him for the rest of your life. - clutching my chest

But you know Carmen does it for you. Lights up a room for you - STOP CHOPPING ONIONS (no pun intended)

With haste, Carmen puts the palm of his hand over your mouth - fuck me fuck me fuck me

Oh, he missed being this close to you. - 🥺🥺🥺

You shove it towards him - i’ve missed them so much. also now i want a tiny quiche

what you’d want to do for your own. - with camen😁

ice will shock your nervous system. - ICE CHIPS BABYYYY

“I owe you an apology—” - LMAOOOO HE THOUGHT-

Fak does. - oh god this will be something

“but y’know, I can handle myself, Carmen.” - oh my lord is he gonna apologize for the fixing oven thing 💀💀

“Oh, come on, you haven’t shown up at The Bear since last Friday—” - oh he thinks- ,,, onion this is glorious

the way time literally stopped, when you left. When he made you leave.- YOURE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER FUCK OFF

And obviously Carmen could tell, so he stopped calling you. Trying to be a true bro - IQBDIEHEIHEIEISJSKAKAJSHDUSJJSJS

“Between us.” What. - oh fak oh nononononono. i wonder that carmen will think about this😁

“Fuckin’ cool it, Fak.” Carmen barks, in tandem with you. - i love her guard dog :3

“…Was that anything—” - CARMEN HOW DUMB ARE YOU

“Yeah. Hi, Uncle Lee.” - OH FUCK THIS DUDE (uncle lee that is)

Pulling the drink away from his hand - LMAO as she should😌😌

“Ah… I see, friend, ya did a little—” He taps the side of his nose, sniffing. - i would’ve (mentally) fucking jumped over the bar counter and had his ass

junkie hands - GET HIS ASS CHIPPY

There’s a pile of forks behind your bar, that you’d asked Richie for, just in case this situation came to a head - LMFAO NOT THE FORKS

Carmen’s the only one that flinches, immediately rearing his own fist back - AYO WOULD HE FIGHT FOR HER?

“Yessir.” - she’s so funny, i love her

If I see you outside, I’m taking you to the fucking pavement, and I’m not getting off. - i love her so much, i want to kiss her

“You’re a real fuckin’ bi—” A fork flies over his shoulder, clattering behind him. Not from you, from Carmen. - BABYBOYYYYY I LOVEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU

“Alright, Donna.” - PAVEMENT, NOW

“Black lavender latte. Cognac n’ coffee liqueur. If it’s too strong, let me know, I can add more milk.” - i’m crying again, i love them so muchh

You’re overjoyed at the verbal confirmation he drank it. - the way they mirror each other owns my entire being and i will not accept anyone else for him in any season of The Bear ever

“Needed yours.” - Baueidnrirjejejdudhshd !!!!!!!!! i know i’m forgiving him way too easily but hello!! when he acts like this how can i not fold

i had to stop the chapter here bc chores and oh my god???? i will think about this until i can read it again

caught; but then he looks at your face, and he knows he has nothing to be worried about. - the way she makes people feel safe IS JUST SO 🥹🥹🥹 there are tears of softness in my eyes

You defend everyone but you. - REAL. which is why carmen going off on her was so much sadder because he just confirmed all her worst thoughts about herself

and he knows it’ll be too much, for him or you - this is so interesting because i really can’t tell wether she struggled with addiction herself or if it’s just from supporting mikey

“None of my business.” He sniffs, awkwardly. “Unless you want it to be.” - THEY’RE SO SIMILAR

“No.” The reply is instant. - :’)))))))))

This is when he looks embarrassed, just slightly. - OH?👀👀👀

‘Who said?’ - Squid is so funny

It’s a built-in habit for you, to hand your fork to Carmen. - them sharing cutlery will always be one of the cutest things ever

“Just wanted to make sure you got dessert, over here.” Just wanted to make sure you ate something. - THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE AND CARING STOP MY HEART

Carmen shrugs, smiling, “Are you tryna get fucked up at work, Chef?” - they’re all so cute with each other, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy

If things were normal you could just eat off each other's plates. - i miss that time. gotta do a re-read for sure

“Ey, sorry everyone, we’re just gonna take a quick thirty, alright? Union mandated.” - HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART CMON

“I’d ride for you.” - i’d do anything for them

“I lo— I like you, so much - HOLD UP- HOW ARE WE JUST SKIPPING PAST THIS. SHE WAS THINKING HOW LONG IT PROBABLY TAKES HIM TO SAY THE L-WORD AND IT WAS ABOUT TO SLIP OUT OF HIM AFTER KNOWING HER A FEW WEEKS LIKE CMON NOW SOULMATES

Carmen does not wish to be anywhere else.  - them, just THEM

“You don’t owe me shit.” “I’m paying back a Berzatto, somehow.” - somehow they’re both me

“I was in his work cabinet, I think Richie was in his bedside, you and Sug were in his wallet.” - THATS SO🥺🥺🥺

You let him go, though you don’t particularly want to. - they’re both just so <3

You jump, your head hits the bottom of the base of the bar’s sink. - me constantly hurting myself on accident

“Carmy, babydoll, are you fucking insane?” - BABYDOLL

“How old do you think I am?” - LMFAOOOO the shade on mikey’s age suidhejdej

Would’ve said you’re getting sloppy seconds or call me a fuckin’ homie hopper - HOMIE HOPPER MADE IT YESSIRRRR

Need something to do with your hands. - MIRROR

Joint bank account. It was partially your money, technically. - THE MONEY SHE OWES. WOW WE’RE LEARNING EVERYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER

“Since when does Richie give a fuck about personal?” - real but i’m proud of him

“Sobriety chip.” - WE BEEN SAYING. okay yes i’ve said a lot of other shit but!!

attachment*

ALRIGHT MY POPCORN LET'S FUCKIN POP IN LETS GO THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT AS ALWAYS

We're doing list format let's fuckin GO

I love hunting for screencaps, this one I felt like would be a little clickbaity because he's on the phone and these mother fuckers. do not call each other. BUT THE VIBE? LIKE THE VIBE? IT'S THERE

THE LOCATIONNNN!!! We may never know. Well we'll probably eventually know. It might not ever be brought up in canon because I may well forget but if you ask I'll tell.

EVA DREW A PICTURE OF HER!! We will eventually get into their dynamic but I think Chip just gives major cool gay aunt vibes. Her aura.

SO MUCH SQUIDINK IN THIS CHAPTER. The SHOULDER. the WHAT ARE WE. the GAY DEODORANT.

funny thing about cufflinks,,,, Truly though while writing I was like awe man :(( they could've had a cute moment if they weren't fighting. Carm/Tony honestly might've ended up being the ones splitting the one bed for the economy if they weren't fighting. SON OF A BITCH!!! At least in lieu of them we just got A Lot Of Squid time

THE DIRTY DETAILS AND THAT WHOLE ROADTRIP WENT UNTALKED ABOUT BECAUSE I HONESTLY DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT YET LMAOOOO. I was like listen I know the rough gist I will figure it out later. And thank god I did because I did end up making a couple pivots from what I had originally planned. you will see.

Chip and Richie dogging on someone-- Anyone-- Together, always makes me the most happy. Like the Ratatouille moment from Zero Pulse and the CIA moment from Something to Do,,, I just love to see these bitches YAP at people like small dogs.

I love seeing and being able to tell exactly who's worked in service because everyone that has has IMMEDIATELY fucking folded upon reading Carmen did the sidework and made food.

I don't think anyone expected this chapter to be as light as it is-- Or at least as light as it starts. I think that's just the way of the Chip really, she brings ease even to the reader,,,,, ahhh my heart... my baby...

When I first made the lavender coffee in chap 2 I really didn't realize I was gonna keep fucking bringing it up. and now it's all I yap about. Carmen just gives a lavender coffee vibe yknow?

THIS CHAPTER MAKES YOU MISS BEING ON BAR??!?!?!?! You know what i get it, over an office job, there's something about the franticness that does feel like. cocaine.

TINY QUICHE!! I wish I was creative enough to think about more whore derves but I was really set on tiny quiches

You need a barback? - a man whos about to roll a boulder up a hill for the rest of his life and be content about it. He's also gonna smell like you the whole time, at least.

WHO IS CHOPPING ME!!!!!!!! It was wrenching to write Tony essentially already starting the grieving process of their relationship. like she very much prepared for it to be so jover in her head. hell. hell. hell.

FUCK MEDFGKJFG-- I think I did do a coin flip on whether he'd do the hand thing. Because it is funny. And also kind of hot. But he tends to just let people yell. but it's A WEDDING. And the yes or no wheel decided for me so listen if you ever think i make an out of character choice blame it on the wheel. the wheel probably did that. i've never made a wrong characterization ever in my life actually

The whole I owe you an apology-- I loved because I was basically just doing this bit over again:

Tumblr does not let you do lists starting at a higher number so we're STARTING OVER. FAK!! I think I only planned for this convo to happen when I wrote their little moment in Zero Pulse. It paid off in dividends, I'm so happy with it.

TIME STOPPEDEEDEDED-- Thank you hehehe. I wonder if we'll learn more about that moment latter,,,,,,,,,, probably nottt,,,,, hehehehehehe-- oh uncle lee's here look at that!!

SHE'D DIEEE BEFORE SHE SERVES THAT MOTHERFUCKER SHE CAME IN KNOWING SHE'D GET HIS ASS. I love my Chippy.

The amount of shock I have seen at Carmen getting ready to punch his Not Uncle has me offended on his behalf. OF COURSE HE'D FIGHT BACK COME ON!!!

I love watching these two acts of service motherfuckers try to out acts of service each other, basically. sex is gonna be insane what? i didn't say anything. talk about mirroring each other WHAT?

ah, the whole scene with the unnamed man, muah. i kiss them both. my two darlings. it made Just Dropped feel even worse though jesus CHRIST . (modern day saviour)

I have spent too long gigglin over every point you made so i'm going to SPEED UP STARTING NOW!! New chapter is absolutely not coming out tonight but if I get far enough in my asks, maybe early tommorow? We'll see. Anyways.

Marcus and Chip have rare moments but when they do they make me very happy. tryna get fucked up at work? It's very important to me, that Carmen fucking relaxes, in this chapter. It just makes me very happy that he lets people do their thing because he realizes they're fucking competent.

i fully went back to read old chapters when i got too sad. these motherfuckers are SO in their sad era I cannot wait to dig our way out of it like I WANNA GO HOME BITCCHEEESS ,,, CAN WE LEAVE THIS IN NEW YORK PLEASSEEE

i have yet to see anyone except you really yell at me about that almost love slip. maybe it's cause everyone thinks it's unrealistic but i do think while he's not ready to verbalize it, the trauma bond is too strong to not feel a type of way, yknow?

AS YOU SAID: THEM. This was very much my season 2 under the table scene. Loved writing this one. BABYDOLL!! BABY BOYYY

The how old do you think I am came from a very real place because when I looked up Michael's age and saw 43 i was JUST STARING LIKE WHHUUHH??? I was considering doing a little one sided crush action-- But these two have a full driver's license having TEEN BETWEEN THEM-- IT'S A NO, IT'S A NO FROM MIKEY AND ME DOG, But at least homie hopper made it!!!

So much lore dumping in one chapter-- If Carmen just waited two seconds he could've read it all in this chapter instead of having that fight smh

"WE BEEN SAYING" WHEN IN THE SAME ASK YOU SAID ICE CHIPS LDFKSFDNLS but yes, you did in fact be saying. that cannot be denied. YOU CAUGHT ME!!!

as always thank you so much for your thoughts i love u UNTIL NEXT TIME I HAVE TO GO WILL I BE BACK? probably but I really shouldn't i should really get ready for work tommorow and get a full nights sleep. but. but. answering asks,,,,, this is my hell

[a-mess-of-a-crow]

Yall, just so you know this is anonymous, so I can't see who would vote no.

Also

Hi! I'm Craven!

I'm a wanna be artist with absolute crushed self esteem that desperately needs validation to get self worth and on the other hand doesn't believe that people's compliments are valid!

So basically= A self made self esteem issue!

I jump from hobby to hobby like a whore, making music, crotchet, animation, drawing, learning japanese (and failing miserably 😊), gave up on learning danish, learning guitar and keyboard, I used to make iron pellet art (hard to make with shaky ass hands)

Das me btw! In all my glory! (Wet socks in the sand, God fears me)

(me in school and my new jacket, old pic, Mochi laughed a lot :> )

Boring facts=

I'm 20 and a mess cuz since 2015 I've been simping over undertale like a Maniac (it's been better these days, but tumblr temporarily pushed me back into the obsession)

I'm a cat/ dog fanatic, but always crows before hoes

My favorite colors are purple, red, blue and black

I'm definitely demisexual polyamourous, but pan or polyromantic? I dunno lol.

Also genderfluid (altho i personally never really know what gender I feel like in the moment)

I have an absolute hopeless love for my aro/ace best friend who is called Mochi and she is the best and literally only real (real life) friend I ever had

Totally not my dumb brain starved for human connection and then immediately clinging to whoever is being a decent person to me

Luckily she is also a bomb person and kind so she doesn't use me like my other friendships XD

How did Red Mass start?

To get an idea of what my AU is, you gotta know how my dumb brain thought of it.

2015. I was absolutely sucked into Undertale after watching a german YouTuber play it, and then I started watching a certain Irish fella play it as well.

I started watching comic dubs of all the Au's that people made, faning out and just binged watched everything relating to it.

Then my family and I had vacation.

A trip to Rome (it was hot and awful, never again. Fucking 40°C celsius are you kidding me?)

It was a 15 hour trip (with bathroom/ smoker breaks)

And i layed in the back of the car, daydreaming about all those Au's.

It was awesome and cool and I slowly started to MAYBE get pandora syndrome of where I desperately wanted to be a part of those stories (I know. Cringe)

It got so bad that I maaaaybe cried in bed every night hoping I'd just wake up in the stories (but my life sucks so that also played a role)

So on that car ride, Luna lovania (god the cringe hurts me badly) was born.

A skeleton oc at first, later being an oc that is a fusion of Frisk and sans (which still is a part of Red Mass)

I daydreamed 15 hours + 15 hours back about Red Mass, it was such bliss (and even while we were in Rome)

And since that point, I have kept daydreaming every day for 8 years, and it became a big part of my life (as ridiculous as this sounds)

I just realized I might be insane.

Oh well

I will make a specific Red Mass post, explaining the story a bit and character introduction ((but not revealing too many spoilers since I kinda wanna make it into a thing))

I hope you guys mean it if you say you're interested :)

[hwsforeignrelations]

As a hobby sketchbooker, its a favorite pasttime to go chronologically through old sketchbooks and note improvement. Im gonna supplement the rant below with old art, cuz its relevant and i think they're neat

I accidentally deleted my old tumblr like five months ago which held a similar sentiment (*SOB* but no use crying over split milk)

I see a lot of fan artists getting burnt out. I see a lot of Hetalia artists stay for a bit, then leave for other fandoms (higher pastures, if u will). I use to not understand. How did people become bored so fast?!?!

Ive never been one to switch interests quickly. I was solidly leg deep in my superhero phase 5-8th grade. I started reading exclusively usuk fanfics in 8th grade, and have hardly ventured beyond usuk.

I'm trying to branch out more.

Hetalia is unique in its ability to teach crash course history and have enemy soldiers devouring each others cocks in the same paragraph. Double win!! The concept of international relations translated to human ones, of a nations pain having physical embodiment, of fantastically diverse headcanons dissecting the intrigues of Nation biology... Its all very yummy thinking food

Ive never read the manga, ive hardly watched the show. Im fandom built thru and thru!

Like the pic above, I use usuk as experiments to run all my ideas thru. Mix media,

World building, swatching, expressions and unfamiliar subjects. Theyre my go-to! since I started taking art seriously in 2021 and those events were mainly usuk themed

my styles always changing, and I'm usually using America and England to do it

Combined with writing and a poor conceptual understanding of base material (aka CANON) i have trouble knowing WHO alfred and england are, in my style. They're constantly changing designs make it hard for my writing to capture their characters consistently.

I get so fixated on solving my own inconsistent characterization writing. Its stupid! Im going to college across the country in ten days, for Christ's sake!

Its no use getting worked up over an inconsistent style- this IS the period of constant change, of constant growth and its great fun processing new interests through art, through two characters i am familiar with (even if i somehow don't know them at all)

Ive been reading stories about the royal navy: so i practice some made up naval uniform on england! That's just an example - i really do process new information through them, finding fun in research

Once i couldn't stop thinking about the scene below, about the intrigue of gore (a genre id never taken an interest to). And i was cringing about doing it to myself (about how ouchi it would be), but like all my creative ideas j filter them through characters - it feels safer that way. Then drawing myself in there. Yuck.

So i practice the idea in Alfred. "Oh ouch yup- looks just as gross and painful and I'd imagined. Perfect!!" Now ive got an Alfred doing this gross thing, now i have a headcanon about nations cleaning their tongues witn razors.

Now i wanna write about it. Haha its all a very self-feeding pattern.

Not sure if this rant makes much sense, but basically i STRUGGLE to establish characters. Partially because i play so much with them in my doodles with anything and everything i find interesting - perhaps it makes too many factors for one character.

[happylikeasadsong]

"About the Blogger" meme

Thank u sm for tag @cruciomione!!

Star Sign(s): Cancer sun, Libra moon and Leo rising (i couldn't explain it i you asked, tho)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and New Years i love how crazy people go about decorations and seems like there's no end to imagination. Also it's that time of the year i have the most delicious food and share quality time with my family. And New Years's so special bc i get to celebrate with friends and usually the parties are lit.

Last Meal: A strawberry delight crepe as a 'well done' gift from me to me or not dying during my exams and finishing them all, yayyy

Current Favorite Musician: i always find it hard to just mention one, so here goes my top three rn: coco jones, the maine and rbd (latin pop band).

Last Music Listened To: back to life by lawson. this one scratches my brain like no other.

Last Movie Watched: me and one of my closest friends do this list of christmas movies every year bc we love christmas movies, no matter how awful and cringe they are. last night i watched 'exmas' with leighton meester and robbie amell and i was surprised that it wasn't the worst, so it's a win in my book.

Last TV Show Watched: it was this week's episode of fellow travelers. jonathan bailey and matt bomer are breaking my heart in a million little pieces, but i think it worth it?? it's so so so sad and tragic but they do such a great job portraying hawk and skippy's story.

Last Book/Fic Finished: i wanted distract myself from my daily problems so i reread 'remember me, remebering you' by amiera_saphire on ao3 last weekend.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: i prefer the term 'hiatus'. i have a jatp fic that i never really finished and the thought of it hunts me.

Currently Reading: a very boring article on managerial finance i have to write on by friday (my last assignment of the year, yay!). i hated it, so i came here to get enough endorfins to go back to it.

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: ships in the 1800's, also dresses of that time period so i can better my shitty description in my period fic. i only had an idea and a dream on that one.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: uhh i think it was back in the cursed years (2020, eww) and after i watched julie and the phantoms i found some really good people here and on twitter. our day consisted in checking every news outlet about the show and pics, videos about them. also the fics were so incredibly good!! those were fun times.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: arrowverse when it was good, maybe? idk but olicity had a choke on me in a concerning way. but then it went bad, so bad, and i suffered through until arrow ended and stopped watching the shows.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: felicity. it's mainly bc it's such an old show and bc of that, no one is really talking about it anymore, but it was my shit when i 'discovered' back in college.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: i'll quote @cruciomione about the multi chapter fics, i feel you! one shots are better for me bc i can just write my idea down.

i've been working on a multi chapter about a second chance/lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers. i love the angst i have panned out in my head lol maybe during the break it could revisit it.

loved doing this!!

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@imliterallyjustablackgirl, @ethxocore, @laryssamedeirss, @vacationship, @ruethrills

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte!

I would like add a bit into the theme of Louis being ‘one of the girls’. First of all, that photo of Louis from like 2011(?) is great, I’ve never seen it and I loved it! IMO Louis might have his semi-artificial laddy lad image but also he has women in his team and the most seen ones are Krystle and Helen and Louis himself shared few pictures of hanging out with them like 2 months ago and that one picture is from some club where they sit together at some lounge and it reminds me that old photo you posted yesterday like it definitely has that ‘one of the girls’ vibe. And as it feels to me he really loves to be surrounded with friends and take his band and crew as friends, you can see both Krystle and Helen hangout with him quite often and someone even wrote that he and Krysten give trouble siblings vibe (or something like that, I don’t remember the phrase as it literally was). So I don’t think he has changes but we just don’t see it much.

This theme also reminds me of Harry as ‘one of the girlies’ which I loved so much during his tour. On one hand yes, it was for the show and part of his showman skills but on the other hand I like to think he doesn’t really need to pretend and can be this flamboyant girlie if this word connection makes sence. And what I totally loved were all of his “Sister!” speeches like for me it gave me all those feelings like gay man talking to his female friends and giving advices because he knows men (and his man haha). Some fans (probably hets) found it cringe that he called fans sister but for me it was totally cute.

Hello, anon!

I get that vibe from both of them too. The difference is that for Louis his lad image is pushed so hard, we hardly never get to see him like that anymore. I also think that's why some of the newer fans, who haven't seen that side of him, have a very different view on him than i do. Harry shows that side of him more. I love when he's calling fans 'sista' too.

Here's one more for you:

Ps. If you want to see more pics like that check out my 'fetus friday' tag (i used to post rare or unseens of fetus harry and louis every friday back in like 2013?. I still have some rare or unseen pics in my drafts i think...buried somewhere...) also check the tags 'fetus louis' or 'fetus harry'.