#creativity: the other touch grass
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not-available-for-comment · 2 years ago
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Stuff I’ll add:
There are communities of crafters and artists on YouTube that provide free tutorials and introductory how-tos for their crafts. If you have the dexterity to operate a keyboard (which I realize not everyone does) you probably have enough to learn one of these crafts.
I’m a big proponent of learning to make a thing with your hands, even if it’s just making your own birthday cards with some card stock, rubber stamps, and nice ink pads. Being able to look at a tangible, touchable object and say “that didn’t exist and then I made it and it did” can imho be just as fulfilling as touching grass. Bonus points if you can engage with local and online communities that way too.
I got inspired to try tablet weaving Weave Along With Elewys tutorials online. I joined my local weaver’s guild and someone LENT ME an inkle loom that I’ve been using to work through the projects. A bunch of our winter meetings are hybrid so I don’t even have to figure out how to get across town to the meeting location every month.
And of course if computer-based creativity is how your brain works best, there’s free tutorials on lots of low-cost or free tools for that as well, particularly as Adobe has been steadily alienating its users.
“I’m not creative!” you say, “this is great for other people but it won’t work for me!”
What do you mean you’re not creative? I’m asking this genuinely because I’ve seen that phrase used as shorthand for a lot of things.
If you mean, “I don’t even understand where that kind of creativity comes from, people who can just do that with their brains are like aliens to me.” Fair enough! Is there something that does bring you satisfaction then? Math? Organizing things? Fishing? Think about how you could engage in those things in ways that you find satisfying and not frustrating. If you ever get curious though, I will point out that beginners tutorials pretty much always have you make preset projects where most of the creativity has been done for you, because they’re about teaching you techniques. So that could be an interesting way to try something out if you find yourself envious of others’ projects or abilities.
If you mean, “I’ve tried some crafty or artsy stuff before and I fucked it up and it was ruined/looked stupid. I’m just too dumb to be creative.” My dear one. I want to give you a hug. And possibly punch one of your parents/teachers. We all fuck up our art, particularly when we’re learning. I have a fucked up weaving project hanging out in my living room right this second. My weaving guild has a listserv where members can ask for help with mistakes and other issues. If the possibility of failure is too upsetting to let creativity be fun, I understand and I’m sorry it worked out that way. If there’s ever a time when you think you want to be brave and try it, just know that there are people out there who are kind and can help. In the meantime, maybe look at some of the suggestions under point 2 above and see if any of them sound like more fun?
If you mean, “I don’t ever deviate from patterns or come up with original projects, I just copy stuff from Pinterest/make prepackaged projects with no extra flourishes” I am going to PERSONALLY come to your house and make faces at you. So you only do cross stitch from pre-packaged kits! You only paint by numbers! DO YOU ENJOY IT? DOES IT MAKE YOU HAPPY? Then it FUCKING COUNTS! Turn off the outrage/fear machine, treat yourself to that unpainted miniature, and DO IT! I can make some PRETTY SCARY FACES so this is in your best interest!
If you mean, “I’m creative in ways that don’t tend to come up in these conversations, like writing, DM-ing, makeup/hair/cosmetology, or performing arts,” then get on with your bad self! You probably already know more about the networking outlets available to you than I do, but think about how you can leverage your time on the internet into a community rather than a loose affiliation of rivals. My DM put together a campaign from an open call on Reddit (I’m the only person they knew beforehand and I’m pinch-hitting for someone who had to drop last minute) and the group already has incredible chemistry and we’re all SO EXCITED for our first session. You don’t have to be restricted to people you know irl!
Creativity! The other “touch grass”! Try it today! (Or don’t, I’m not your mom.)
I feel the whole "touch grass" sentiment seldom really comes with any practical advice as to how to disengage with Internet discourse and to stop falling into the pit of doing Internet controversy so that social media companies can sell advertising at our petty gladiatorial battles. I cannot emphasize enough though how much logging off and interacting face-to-face with individuals in my community improves my mental well-being and is more useful praxis than having a virtual slap fight with some stranger whose life is far removed from mine. At the same time, I also recognize that not everyone has safe/receptive communities, grass to touch, and the ability to get out.
What I can say though is that there is still an abundance of virtual grass to touch, even if it isn't tailored to give you the same dopamine rush as fighting with WrongBad People online. We can still do things that are meaningful, that are locally-oriented, and/or that are generally good for us. If we can engage in the labor necessary to do shitty discourse (typing, composing, contemplating), we can probably work through our thoughts in a journal or a private blog. We can possibly YouTube/Zoom your way through City Council Meetings. We can learn to build old school websites. We can find volunteer opportunities (Transcribe museum texts! Donate Gutenberg books! Watch/catalog cute animals!). We can surf the archaic web and enjoy all manner of cool and enriching public domain media.
We can still use the Internet in ways that make us better.
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sweetybaty · 7 months ago
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petrow1tch · 4 months ago
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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands
#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me#i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me#i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the#severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult#but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant#and yet sometimes i get everything clearly#there are still ways to go#i still have to find a therapist#cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD#but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism#im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist#i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years#i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games#like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars#all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this#I'm scared that making art is not one of those things#i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it#but then why am i so good at it#like...#petrotalk
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outeremissary · 1 year ago
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Having one of those weeks of "is this the monthly Malaise or am I about to have a real mental health rut"
#I think I feel a bit bad for not having seen success for a bit on a large project or one for other people#my to-do list... I'm trying#think I just feel socially weird too. as usual I would benefit from touching grass#I know I've been on more than is good for me lately and I'm just trying to distract from not liking how creative projects are going#or feeling lonely but not very socially confident for a while#for me social media is generally an extremely poor substitute for other forms of interaction (including other online interaction) too#it's like candy. it's fun in moderation but the more of it making up your diet the sicker you feel#and socially ambiguous in a nerve wracking way with how uncertainly part private/part public it is#especially on tumblr where so much interaction is indirect and one way. it's not how I function best I fear#it can be fun! I enjoy it much of the time. but it can also be very stressful and confusing.#a solid 'touch grass' (or touch snow) time is likely approaching if I feel weird a little longer haha#but jeez! I should knock some stuff off the list first.#I'm up too late tonight. I know that. lack of satisfaction on projects I know#okayyyyy I'll maybe prep one last thing (sunk cost fallacy) and go to sleep properly like I should've ages ago. morning will be rough.#I do miss the ways people interacted on Twitter#rambling#you should know half the time I have some way too long tags it's because I meant to say one thing and then just kept going without thinking#I think I talk too much online because offline I don't talk very much. not many people to talk to.
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jaynovz · 1 year ago
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if yall ever want like serious advice from me about how to solve burnout as a creative it's like...
literally ignore it. stop pushing. go do something else, enjoy your life, fill it with other things, do what brings you joy in the moment if you can.
go to the gym, take a walk to touch grass and look at dogs and smell flowers, cook dinner, watch tv with your friends, talk about your feelings as needed with ppl you trust, take a drive and blast your music, do the chores you need to do, the job hunting slog you need to do, read books that aren't for research, stop cordoning off your brain for The Craft or The Draft or whatever the fuck
forget about the project, stop thinking about it for as long as it takes to be excited again.
fuckin rest, basically
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ponderingmoonlight · 8 months ago
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hi lovely ! you asked for kny requests and i've just finished my kny volume 22 re-read, so thats perfect timing 💙
I was wondering if you could write something with Yoriichi — (tw for potential child loss)
Maybe a hurt/comfort fic where his pregnant wife actually survives the demon attack while he's away (but maybe she gets quite badly injured and their unborn child doesn't make it, if you want to add a little extra angst to it. If not then that's totally fine, this man deserves a happy ending after all 🥺)
Of course, you're the writer — feel free to take any creative direction you'd like or ignore this request if you're not comfortable with it. Have a lovely day/night! <3
Again, I'm beyond sorry you were forced to wait for this so long! But here you go honey, let me know what you think <3
Yoriichi saving his pregnant wife and unborn child just in time
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Pairing: Yoriichi x pregnant!wife!reader
Word Count: 4,2k
Synopsis: You never expected to face a demon ever again, especially not when you are about to deliver your child while your beloved husband Yoriichi is in search for a midwife. Will you and your child be alright? Will your husband make it back on time?
Warnings: injury, horror, child birth, tortue, description of death, extreme angst to fluff, last part is not proofread
Notes: Since the first Yoriichi fic I wrote, I'm so deeply in love with his character that I adore writing him so much! Since this fic took a while, I would totally appreciate your support through liking, commenting and reblogging this fic - thank's a lot babes <3
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He can’t get enough from simply looking at you. You with your head in the clouds, you with your hand mindlessly roaming around the soft grass underneath, the other one caressing your heavy pregnant belly, you when you give him those surprised eyes as soon as you notice his presence.
“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you’re already here”, you say in a small panicky voice.
You didn’t expect your beloved husband back this soon. If you would have known that he’ll be here by know you would have cleaned the whole house, made him something to eat and-
“I can only imagine what is going on inside your head again.”
His soft but at the same time rough hand touches your cheek gently, the loving gleam in his fuchsia eyes making you blush in an instant. All the voices in your head stop right in their track when he’s around.
Yoriichi Tsugikuni. Your savior, your best friend. And most importantly, your husband and father of your future child.
“How are you feeling, love? Did you enjoy your afternoon?”, he questions, eyes wandering down your body to your swollen belly.
It was hard leaving you alone in a state like this, but he wasn’t able to resist the urgent call from last night. He might be nothing but another simple man holding a sword, but it is his responsibility to save those who are in need. What else is he able to give to this world?
His hand lands on your belly, feels the tiniest kick of his unborn child against the palm of his hand. At least he was able to create a smaller version of you. Is it a boy, a girl maybe?
“I hope our child is a reflection of you”, he finally mutters into the silence, a small but somehow sad smile forming itself on his lips.
You suddenly forget how to breathe, glossy eyes fixated on his captivating sight. Oh, oh much you hate the stinging fact that your husband thinks so negatively about himself. Why can’t he see all the heroic things he has done so far, how respected he is in the demon slayer corps? Why can’t he see that every inch of his body is flawless? Out of instinct, you let your head rest against his broad chest, breathe in his strong scent. If you could only stay like this here forever, his hand resting against your body while the sun tickles your skin-
A violent moan escapes your lips when a sharp pain runs through your stomach. A kick. A really rough kick, to be exact.
“Are you alright, love? Did something hurt you? Is it the baby?”, your husband asks feverishly, his usual neutral face garbled by worry lines on his forehead.
“Just a kick”, you press out, still fighting to regain your composure.
“I will search for a mid-wife, (y/n).”
His words make your eyes widen in an instant, a wave of fear crushing down on you. Is it really time already? You look down at your swollen belly, so big that you aren’t even able to sit down properly anymore. This has to be the ninth month of your pregnancy.
Your heart sinks. The ninth month. If the books you’ve read are accurate, it really is time.
“I can’t do this, Yoriichi.”
Thick panic runs through your veins, forces your heart almost out of your chest. You aren’t ready to deliver a child, let alone to be a mother. All the things you haven’t read yet, the things you’ve probably never heard of…What if you mess it up? Until you met Yoriichi, all you were able to do was trying to survive. Your mother never had the chance to tell you about those things, isn’t here anymore to stay by your side.
You are…on your own.
“Look at me, (y/n). I will go out and search for a mid-wife and I’ll be back at sunset, you hear me? Just stay inside the house and nothing will happen. I promise to return as early as possible.”
Fuchsia eyes that radiate through your soul immediately. An angelic voice that calms down your tingling nerves with only four sentences. Strong arms that lift you off the ground and lead you back into the warmth of your home.
But know, it’s not the wooden cabin that feels like home. Your eyes wander to the neutral expression he wears on his face, only betrayed by a worried glow in his orbs. It’s him, your beloved husband.
“Are you feeling alright, love?”
You take a deep breath in, a deep breath out. Eyes focused exclusively on him until your mind finally silences. It’s just you and him. You and your beloved husband, the man you would trust with your life without battling an eyelid, the man who made you the person you are today.
“I do”, you breathe out.
Your heartbeat tames down as well as the kicks of your unborn baby, Yoriichi’s hands keeping you from falling over.
“Promise me to lock the doors and wait in bed until I return, (y/n).”
A seriousness you only know from him when he is forced to leave at night veils his calm eyes.
“But…you will be back before the sun sinks, right?”
He gifts you a small smile, hand caressing your cheek so gently that you almost forget about the worry lines decorating his face. The truth is that the next midwife lives miles away. Even if he gets to the village as soon as possible, the sun will be about to set when he returns. Yoriichi can’t help but clench his other hand into a fist next to your stomach. The sheer thought of not making it in time, that you’ll be defenceless.
“Don’t worry, love. Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”
But he cannot allow himself to fail you, to leave you alone in those oh so merciless nights. He will return, no matter what it costs.
He presses a soft kiss against your forehead before grabbing his sword tightly.
This. This is his fate, his family. You are his whole life.
And he’ll do everything to protect you.
-later that evening-
You are exhausted. Over the last few hours, your body was haunted by waves of pain coming and going like the seasons. Again, you dig your nail into the wooden floor, your heavy breaths hanging in the thick air. You definitely don’t need a midwife to tell you it’s time. Yes, your baby is on its way.
And your husband didn’t return yet.
Your glossy eyes dart towards the window, witness how the sky outside turns bright red in the down-going sun. Is Yoriichi alright? You know how cruel life can be. Maybe he met a person who needed to be saved on his way, maybe the midwife is too old to rush to your side in time.
“Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”
Those words. Even though he’s not yet by your side, you are able to feel his powerful presence around you, how he calms down your aching heart.
“Everything will turn out alright”, you mutter to yourself while caressing your tummy.
“Everything will be alight…”
You allow your lids to rest, body relaxing for the first time since your husband left. You will get through this, you will deliver your wonderful child tonight. A tiny bundle of joy, an image of its father. Is it a boy, a girl? As long as your child is healthy, you couldn’t care less.
Carefully, you curl up on your futon, snuggle yourself into the blanket that still holds his scent. Maybe you’ll be able to catch a few hours of sleep until he finally comes back. Sleep sure does sound very appealing at the moment.
But just when your breath begins to steady, a violent scratch forces you to sit straight up. It came from outside, without a doubt. Is it an animal, is it…
Your throat gets tight immediately, glossy eyes staring at the closed window in sheer horror. The trees bend back and forth peacefully in what looks like a tender night. But that scratch, it sounded exactly like claws digging into hard wood, sent shivers down your spine immediately. You know that sound all too well, experienced what it means to get slaughtered by a demon before. Just before your whole family died violently, this was exactly what you’ve heard.
Out of instinct, you bury yourself into the corner of the room, the blanket that holds Yoriichi’s scent still pressed against your now shivering body tightly. Please, let it be nothing but a wild animal, let your husband come back home soon. Maybe this is nothing but a nightmare and you’ll wake up any given minute-
A violent pain runs through your body so suddenly that a shriek escapes your lips. Suddenly all air escapes your lungs, the way your belly cramps making you see start. No, you know exactly what this means, that this is not the right time to deliver a baby. Isn’t there anything you can do to stop this? You still need to wait for your husband, the midwife, for this gut-turning feeling to vanish. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, sharp and fast breaths hanging in the thick atmosphere.
But it doesn’t stop there. As if this wasn’t enough already, you can only stare at the door that gets opened painfully slow, claws digging into the wooden frame.
Without any doubt, this is a demon.
You press your sweaty palm against your mouth, force yourself to stop screaming, to stop breathing.
“I know you’re here, human. You smell like a…woman.”
It’s like all life is drained from the dead shell of your body, widened orbs staring at the frightful creature that makes its way into your home. Get up, fight, defend yourself like you saw Yoriichi do countless times, use the knowledge you gained from him.
But you don’t move an inch, don’t dare to look away. For a brief moment, time seems to stand still. Out of all the nights you’ve spent together with your husband, this is the first away from him, the first without his protection. Is all of this a dream, a hallucination to test your nerves?
The second the monster’s deadly red orbs meet yours, you get hit by reality. No, this isn’t a dream.
This will be your death.
“I knew you were here, lady. Let me help you up, okay?”
“N-no. Please d-don’t”, you whimper under your breath.
Your coward of a body doesn’t even fight back when he lifts you off the ground with ease, his nails digging into your soft flesh.
“Oh, you’re expecting a baby, don’t you? Well, does this count as a double kill, then?”
Your baby getting killed? If that thing ends your life, it means your unborn child will never experience dawn, will never get to see the face of its father, will never take in his scent. Your glossy eyes widen in sheer horror, tears now streaming down your face like waterfalls when a single frown form on your forehead.
You couldn’t care less about your own life. After all, you were lucky that Yoriichi saved you back then, didn’t even deserve to survive when your whole family had to die before you. But that oh so innocent child that might have the eyes of its father, the blessing of your life right after your husband. That innocent life cannot be taken.  
There is no way you will let this creature lay hands on it.
Your body reacts faster than your mind. With a surprisingly well-placed kick, you free yourself out of the monster’s casual grip. You need to get out of the house, out where you are able to find shelter, to run away. Your lungs feel like bursting any given minute, legs trembling underneath the weight of yourself and the unborn baby you still carry right under your heart. Even if it means you’ll die in vain, even if you won’t be able to see Yoriichi’s tender eyes ever again, you have to make sure your child is safe.
“I underestimated you, stupid woman. As it seems you didn’t give up on life yet”, the creature purrs what feels like right next to you.
A new nauseous wave of panic rises up your veins, makes you sprint even faster through the thick woods that surround your house. This has always been your favorite place to be. The calm trees waving back and forth in a soft breeze, your husband right by your side-
Your husband. Just the thought of never getting to see him again makes your heart ache. You didn’t even get the chance to thank him one last time, to let him know how much he truly means to you, that he’s way more than the man who saved your life back then.
He’s everything you ever wanted, everything you ever needed.
A sharp pain that radiates through your lower body sends you straight onto the ground immediately, figure cramping so violently that you can’t catch your breath. No, this is not the time labor, not when a demon is this close.
“Oh, there you are. Did you really think you can run away like that? You, a little human? You made me so man that I will kill you as painfully slow as possible.”
You try to lift your trembling figure off the ground, try to get back onto your feet, to sprint down the forest you know so well. But just when you’re about to get back onto your knees, a stinging pain in your right thigh paired with a contraction sends you straight back.
A violent scream escapes your lips.
Red. Everything around you is discoloured red. Is this your blood? Did this thing kill you already, are you going to die? Despite the way your guts start to turn when you follow the trail of blood, you can’t look away. And there it is indeed, a gaping hole in your leg, throbbing and bleeding.
All color that is left now drains from your face. With an injured leg, your chance to escape this demon’s claws is non-existent. Which means…
Your heart skips a beat, threatens to fail you any given second. What about your unborn child? A violent storm of anger and determination clouds your mind, makes all logical thoughts vanish into thin air.
“You can’t kill me”, you press out.
Since the day you first laid eyes on a demon, you accepted your own death. Your life is worthless anyway, compared to great warriors like your husband himself. But that oh so innocent child, that tiny life you were given to. You ball your hands into fists so tight your knuckles stand out white and lift your throbbing self off the ground. You cannot allow a demon to take the life of that unborn baby.
“I won’t allow you to touch me.”
You realize the stupidity of your words after they spill out of your mouth in rage. You, not allowing a demon to touch your puny figure? Another contraction makes your guts turn and vision almost go black.
As expected the frightful creature draws closer, its unpromising pair of razor-sharp teeth glittering in the dim moonlight. You never expected to see a demon this close again. Oh, how much you hoped you’d never find yourself in that situation again. But you have to get through this, have to make sure you will survive long enough for the mid wife to deliver your child to this world.
His child.
“I’m sorry Yoriichi. I never planned on leaving you alone like this”, you mumble to yourself, shaky lips tinted in salty tears.
“But this all I’m able to do.”
-Yoriichi’s POV-
Something seems off. Is it the way the trees bent back and forth in the soft breeze of the already set sun? Is it that distant smell that hangs in the air, the one that reminds him of fresh blood and lavender?
“We must make haste. I can sense that danger is ahead of us”, he speaks out with firm voice.
He promised you that he’ll be back before the sun goes down, that he will make it on time before demon are able to roam around freely. Are you feeling alright? Is the pain unbearable at this point? Do you still hold trust for him in your heart? His footsteps pick up instinctively, eyes set on the visibly stressed man behind him. In contrary to most people, Yoriichi doesn’t fear the night or the demons it brings. The only thing he fears at the moment is what you have to endure without your husband by your side.
With every he takes forward, the stinging smell of blood mixed with lavender becomes more urgent in his nose.
Lavender.
He always wondered how you did it. Even after washing, all your clothes kept that calming scent that surrounded you as if you were standing in a lavender bush. A smell so sweet that it caught his interest back then before he caught a glimpse of your fascinating orbs, a smell that always reminds him of home. Yoriichi’s home will always be where you are, where the sensation of lavender is the strongest.
Lavender, the stinging smell of blood that hangs in the air. His eyes widen when his mind starts to race. The smell, it radiates from the direction of your shared home, from the direction that usually fills him with excitement. Can it be…?
His heart starts racing uncontrollably while he dashes forward and draws his sword. Let it be nothing but coincidence, a cruel joke his thoughts play on him. But the stinging fragrance of lavender mixed with iron fills his heart with dread, makes his mind go numb. What if you got attacked by a demon, what if you are in great danger? All because he didn’t live up to his promise, because he didn’t make it on time. His eyes roam around the dark area, desperately searching for a sign.
And then his eyes find you.
Yoriichi’s heart stops.
There you lay, leaning against a nearby tree with a puddle of blood surrounding you, widened eyes starring straight into the face of a demon who hollers above you.
“No one is coming to save you, stupid girl.”
He doesn’t waste another second. With a swift motion of his sharp blade, Yoriichi beheads the demon on top of you while a toe-curling scream escapes your lips. Just one look at your sliced-up kimono reveals countless injuries, especially a gaping hole in your thigh. You hold onto your swollen belly for what looks like dear life, eyes still widened in nothing but shock.
“(y/n)”, he gently speaks out while letting himself fall down next to you.
You have to blink a few times. The demon, it was just about to dig its sharp teeth into your sensitive skin, to take the life of your unborn child in front of your eyes.
Maroon.
But those aren’t the deadly red orbs. No, those oh so gorgeous eyes look so familiar that your heart tames down in an instant. Could it really be, is it possible that it’s…him?
“Yoriichi.”
You breathe his name into the night like a prayer.
Maybe this is nothing but an illusion, a cruel trick your own brain plays on you.
“Words can’t express how sorry I am for arriving too late. I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone this long, for causing this to happen”, his oh so familiar voice blurts out.
Yoriichi’s usual so composed face twists in sheer agony, eyes filling with salty tears. All of this is his fault. He should have arrived sooner, he should have made hurry, he-
“We didn’t come this far to worry now. Please, help be delivering this child, let it all make sense”, you press out while grabbing his hand tightly.
It doesn’t matter that you’re severely injured, it doesn’t matter that your beloved husband took longer than expected to come back to you. All that matters now are you, him and your unborn child that waits to be delivered.
“Allow me to assist you.”
A foreign man suddenly speaks out with sweat dripping from his forehead in waterfalls. Just when another wave of nauseous pain hits you with full force, as if you got kicked into your stomach by a horse. You fail to breathe for a second, hands holding onto your husband for dear life.
“You are already close, it won’t be long now”, the man reassures you while gently opening your legs.
“You can do it, (y/n). After all the things you had to endure today, you will be able to get through this. With me by your side. I love you more than any words could ever say, darling.”
One more push.
One more wave of pain before your body goes numb, before you lose the ability to feel anything except for sweet nothingness.
Until a loud shriek finds its way to your ear.
A violent scream, almost frustrating. When you open your eyes again, you are greeted by a crying but alive bundle of joy, carefully wrapped into a white cloth and placed onto the arm of its father.
Those eyes.
“I prayed every night that he would have your eyes”, you whimper with tears running down your cheek uncontrollably.
You did it. You saved your beloved child who looks just like its father, you managed to somehow stay alive.
“She”, the midwife corrects you gently.
“She…”, you mumble with a small smile.
The last thing you see are the troubled maroon eyes of your husband before your world goes dark.
-the next day-
A foreign but still so familiar laughter fills the atmosphere around you with joy while you see nothing but black. When your stubborn lids finally open, you are greeted by the wooden ceiling you know so well. This is your home, without any doubt.
The home a demon invaded.
The home where you feared for your life while your husband rushed to the midwife in order to deliver your child.
Your child.
You get up way too quickly, glossy eyes darting around the room without a real aim. Is your baby okay? What happened after the delivery? All you can remember are those familiar maroon eyes that looked so much like the orbs of your beloved husband. Your husband…Where is Yoriichi?
“Don’t move too quickly, love. The doctor strictly forbids you to be in a haste”, his gentle voice speaks out next to you.
Just a few moments later, you get invited by the warmth of his arms swallowing you whole. Out of instinct, you let yourself fall against him, press your very own body into his despite the scorching pain that immediately takes over your whole self.
Right, you were attacked by a demon the night you gave birth. How did you manage to escape? Are your injuries critical.
But most important: How is your baby?
“Look what you have accomplished. A little wonder. Just like you, my love”, your husband murmurs, carefully lifting a little bundle off a blanket nearby.
Your heart nearly stops when you catch a glimpse of her. Those maroon eyes are the last thing you remember before everything goes black. With shaky hands, you start caressing her puffy cheek. This. This is what you fought for, what makes it all worth it in the end.
“She has your eyes”, you hush, tears now streaming down your face in waterfalls.
“And your hair”, Yoriichi replies with a soft smile towards you.
“(y/n), I promise I’ll do anything in my power to protect you and her from something like this. I promise I will stand by your side no matter what. And I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me the most.”
The second your husband’s voice cracks, you can’t hold onto yourself any longer. You wrap your arms around him and your daughter longingly, take in the scent who gave you strength that night.
“There is nothing to forgive and nothing to feel sorry about. You did your very best and that is all that matters. I love you, Yoriichi. And I have to thank you for saving both of us just in time.”
“You are my greatest treasure on earth”, he mumbles against your lips while giving you a passionate kiss.
What a plot twist, what a happy end after all. Yesterday you were sure your life is over, that you won’t live onto the next day. And now you’re lying in your house, holding your giggling daughter while pressing your heavy head against your husband’s broad chest.
“Well, I fear I will have to share this special place by now”, you comment while gazing at your perfect little daughter.
“This might be true, love.”
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Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld
@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake
@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @kayleegomez @ryva @baku2345
@komelrebi-san
1K notes · View notes
winwintea · 1 month ago
Text
mutual affection
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PAIRING ↬ physics student!park jisung x fem!reader
TAGS ↬ FLUFF!!! the cheese is so cheesing here, way too many physics puns, you might cringe but here it is, i love park jisung, love love love him
SUMMARY ↬ sometimes, love isn’t theoretical—it’s proven, one note at a time.
WORD COUNT ↬ 2.6k words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ wow i’m a nerd. MEERRY CHRISTMAS @polarisjisung THIS ONE IS FOR YOU MY LOVE <33
PLAYLIST ↬ rhinestone eyes - gorillaz; swan - miyeon; song 2 - blur; missing you - ftisland;
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JISUNG TAPPED HIS PEN AGAINST HIS NOTEBOOK RHYTHMICALLY,
pretending to take notes as the professor droned on about Schrödinger's Equation. It wasn’t that he disliked quantum mechanics—he loved it—but today, the equations felt heavier than usual. His eyes wandered to the person sitting next to him—you.
You were furiously scribbling in your notebook, not writing notes but...drawing? Jisung squinted. Was that a...cat? No, two cats. One inside a box labeled "alive" and the other "dead." He felt a grin tugging at his lips before he could stop himself.
A faint chuckle escaped, and he ducked his head, mortified, as you glanced his way. He was sure he’d blown his cover—who laughs during a physics lecture? But instead of being annoyed, your lips began to form a small smirk.
“Like what you see?” you whispered, sliding your notebook slightly closer to him.
Jisung blinked. Was this a test? A joke? Chenle said he always had trouble talking to women. Something about playing too much League and not touching grass. But it wasn’t his fault! And Chenle was wrong. He did touch grass. He hesitated but gave you an awkward nod, his brain scrambling for something to say. “It’s, uh... creative. Schrödinger would be impressed.”
You snorted softly, flipping the notebook his way completely. Beneath the doodle, you wrote:
"Your turn."
Jisung froze. Your turn? What was he supposed to draw? He glanced back at you, but you were already watching the professor again, feigning disinterest, though the corner of your mouth continued to twitch with amusement.
Heart pounding, Jisung picked up his pen. Drawing wasn’t exactly his forte, but he couldn’t just pass up the challenge. He quickly sketched a stick figure version of himself, complete with messy hair and oversized glasses, holding a comically oversized Geiger counter pointed at the box.
Next to the drawing, he added:
“Should I open it or...?”
He slid the notebook back your way, staring straight ahead, willing himself not to blush. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you lean over to inspect his work. There was a brief pause, and then—you laughed. Not just a quiet chuckle but an actual laugh, soft and melodic.
“That’s not bad,” you whispered, your tone teasing. “Stick figures are an underrated art form.”
Jisung risked a glance your way, only to find you grinning at him, eyes bright with amusement. For the first time, he smiled back without overthinking it.
As the lecture continued, neither of you paid much attention to the professor. Instead, your notebook became the canvas for the beginning of a tradition—tiny doodles, puns, and inside jokes that somehow made quantum mechanics infinitely more interesting.
Jisung couldn’t explain it, but as he scribbled out a little equation to accompany his next doodle, he felt a strange, unfamiliar excitement bubbling in his chest. For the first time, class didn’t feel so dull anymore.
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It started with Schrödinger’s cat, but it didn’t stop there. For the next lecture, Jisung was prepared. He had a small stack of sticky notes tucked into his notebook, ready for whatever you might throw at him.
You were already scribbling something when he slid into his seat. The professor began discussing wave-particle duality, but Jisung’s focus was on the tiny folded note you flicked onto his desk.
He cautiously unfolded it. Written in neat handwriting was:
“Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
Jisung nearly choked on air, covering his mouth to stifle a laugh. He could feel the tips of his ears heating up as he turned to look at you. You were staring straight ahead, pen twirling between your fingers, but your smirk gave you away.
He scribbled back quickly:
“Are you a black hole? Because you’ve got some serious pull.”
You took the note, bit your lip to keep from laughing, and scribbled something before passing it back.
“Careful, Park. You might reach escape velocity at this rate.”
For the rest of the lecture, neither of you could keep straight faces. Jisung felt lighter than he had in weeks.
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Two lectures later, during a painfully long discussion on thermodynamic entropy, Jisung felt like his brain was melting. Next to him, you seemed to be having the same struggle.
He noticed you sketching again, your tongue sticking out slightly in concentration. A few minutes later, you nudged his elbow and slid a folded scrap paper toward him.
He opened it to find an absolutely ridiculous cartoon: a dramatic black hole with wild hair and glasses that looked suspiciously like the professor’s. Around it, little stick figures were being sucked into the gravitational pull, textbooks flying everywhere.
At the bottom, you’d scrawled:
“Entropy? More like ENTRAP-Y.”
Jisung clamped a hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking as he tried (and failed) to contain his laughter. The professor paused, eyes squinting at the two of you, and Jisung froze in shock.
When the professor turned back to the whiteboard, Jisung quickly scribbled a response:
“I think I just lost three brain cells to this singularity.”
You snorted quietly, and for the rest of the class, both of you avoided eye contact to prevent another laughing fit.
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It wasn’t always jokes. At some point, the notes started to change.
One afternoon, after a particularly rough group presentation where Jisung stumbled over his words more than once, he slumped into his usual seat next to you, clutching his notebook like a shield.
You didn’t say anything at first, just slid a folded piece of paper onto his desk.
“You did great today. Public speaking is the worst, but you made your point, and honestly, half the class was lost after the second slide anyway.”
Jisung stared at the note for a long moment before writing back.
“Thanks. I always feel like I’m messing up. Group projects make it ten times worse because I’m scared I’ll let everyone down.”
You read it, your expression softening before you wrote back:
“I get that. But hey, if we ever have to do a project together, I’ll handle the talking, and you can handle the math. Deal?”
Jisung’s chest felt warm in a way he couldn’t quite describe.
“Deal.”
It was late in the semester, the kind of day where the sunlight streamed through the classroom windows just right, making everything feel a little softer. The professor was lecturing about particle accelerators, and Jisung was genuinely trying to focus—until he noticed you scribbling on a slip of paper.
You passed it to him without looking up.
“If you could work anywhere in the world, where would it be?”
Jisung hesitated. No one had ever asked him that before—not seriously, anyway.
“NASA, probably. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had this strange obsession with space. It feels like there’s so much to discover, you know?”
You grinned when you read his response.
“That’s so cool. I’d want to be there too. Maybe one day we’ll run into each other in the cafeteria, arguing about quarks over sandwiches.”
Jisung smiled, his heart doing this weird fluttery thing that he couldn’t quite explain.
“I’d argue that up quarks are superior, but I’d let you win. Probably.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, scribbled something back, and slid the note over.
“You’d let me win? Park Jisung, are you challenging me to a quark debate?”
For the rest of class, Jisung couldn’t stop smiling.
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Each note became a little window into your world and a bridge into his. It wasn’t just the jokes or the sketches—it was the little truths tucked between the lines. And every time he unfolded a piece of paper from you, Jisung felt a little less like an awkward physics student and a little more like…someone special.
Jisung’s head was spinning as he shoved his notebook into his backpack. The lecture had just ended, and while most of the class was still debating the finer points of entropy, his focus was on the small scrap of paper tucked between the pages of his notes.
It wasn’t supposed to leave his bag. It was just…a silly thought he’d scribbled down late at night when he couldn’t stop thinking about you.
But as he hurried to pack up, the folded note slipped loose and landed on your desk.
He didn’t notice until he was halfway out the door.
You were still sitting, absently flipping through your notes, when your gaze fell on the scrap of paper. You picked it up and unfolded it, eyebrows raising at the messy handwriting:
“I think the Doppler effect explains why my heart races whenever you’re near.”
You froze. The edges of the paper trembled in your fingers as the words sank in, and your cheeks warmed instantly.
“Jisung?” you called out instinctively, but he was already gone, lost in the crowd of students exiting the lecture hall.
Heart pounding, you hesitated for a moment before grabbing your pen. On the back of the note, you wrote carefully:
“Newton’s Third Law says every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I feel the same way.”
The next lecture couldn’t come fast enough.
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Jisung didn’t sleep much the night before class. The realization that he’d left that note behind had haunted him. Maybe you’d thrown it away. Maybe you’d laughed at it.
But when he walked into the lecture hall the next day, you were already there. Sitting in your usual seat, you looked up as he approached, and your smile was soft—almost shy.
“Hey,” you said, sliding a small folded note across the desk.
Jisung swallowed nervously, hands trembling slightly as he opened it.
Newton’s Third Law. Equal and opposite reaction.
His eyes scanned the words once, twice, before he finally dared to meet your gaze. You were biting your lip, your eyes bright with anticipation.
Jisung’s voice came out barely above a whisper. “You—You feel the same?”
You nodded. “It’s simple physics, Park. Cause and effect.”
He let out a breathless laugh, hand coming up to cover his face as his shoulders shook slightly. “I can’t believe you’re using physics laws to confess to me right now.”
“Technically, you started it,” you said with a grin.
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It was the end of a particularly brutal thermodynamics lecture. Jisung’s brain was fried, and judging by your furrowed brow, you weren’t faring much better.
The professor dismissed the class, and everyone packed up sluggishly. Jisung hesitated as he glanced at you, still scribbling something in your notes.
“See you later?” you said casually, but Jisung didn’t respond.
Instead, he slid a small, carefully folded piece of paper onto your desk before rushing out the door.
You blinked after him, confused, before carefully unfolding the note.
It was a Feynman diagram.
But instead of particle interactions, Jisung had mapped out…you and him.
At one vertex was a little stick figure of him, labeled “Jisung”, and at another, a tiny doodle of you labeled “(Y/N)”. Between the two were arrows labeled “Shared Jokes”, “Physics Puns”, and “Mutual Nerdiness”, and tiny hearts scattered along the connections.
At the bottom, in small, slightly wobbly handwriting, he’d written:
“I like you.”
Your face felt like it was on fire, but you couldn’t stop the wide smile spreading across your lips.
When you walked out of the lecture hall, Jisung was leaning against the wall, clutching the strap of his backpack like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.
“Jisung,” you said softly, holding up the note.
He shifted nervously, avoiding your gaze. “I, um…I thought it might be easier to…you know…diagram it out.”
You laughed—a soft, delighted sound—and pulled out your pen.
Carefully, right at the bottom of his diagram, you added a new arrow connecting your doodle to his.
“Mutual Affection.”
You held it up so he could see, and Jisung’s eyes widened. His lips parted slightly in surprise before breaking into the brightest smile you’d ever seen.
“So…you like me too?” he asked quietly, voice trembling just a little.
“I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached a stable equilibrium,” you said with a grin.
He laughed—a sound full of relief and joy—and for a moment, the two of you just stood there, smiling at each other in the middle of the crowded hallway.
Physics could explain a lot of things, but this? The way Jisung’s heart felt like it was about to escape his chest, the way your eyes would crinkle when you smiled at him—this felt like a force of nature all its own.
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By the time midterms had passed and the days grew shorter, the notes between you and Jisung had shifted. There were still plenty of physics jokes and ridiculous doodles—like the time he drew you both as photons bouncing off a reflective surface—but now there were softer words, too.
Between derivatives and integrals, you’d find little sentences scribbled in his neat handwriting:
“I hope you’re eating enough today.”
“You looked really pretty in the lab yesterday.”
“The universe is expanding, but I think my feelings for you are growing faster.”
In return, you wrote him notes on sticky tabs and slipped them into his textbook:
“Don’t stay up too late studying tonight. Even electrons need rest.”
One afternoon, after a particularly chaotic study session in the library, Jisung passed you a folded note with a tiny sketch of two orbiting electrons, labeled “You” and “Me”, with a little heart in the nucleus.
Underneath, he’d written:
“Stable bond achieved.”
You laughed softly, clutching the note like it was precious cargo.
“Park Jisung, you’re ridiculous,” you whispered.
He grinned, cheeks turning pink. “But you like it, right?”
You leaned over, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. “I like you.”
Jisung turned bright red and nearly dropped his pen.
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The lecture hall was unnervingly silent during your final exam. The only sounds were the scratch of pencils on paper and the faint ticking of the clock.
You were halfway through a particularly frustrating question on thermodynamic efficiency when your calculator, which you’d been using furiously, clicked slightly as you pressed down on the buttons.
You frowned, turning it over—and noticed a tiny piece of folded paper tucked neatly into the battery compartment.
Your eyes darted up to scan the room. Jisung was a few rows ahead, hunched over his paper, completely engrossed in his work.
Heart racing, you carefully unfolded the note beneath the desk.
It was a small sketch, drawn with the same endearing messiness Jisung always brought to his doodles.
At the top, a hand-drawn banner read: “You’re the best experiment I’ve ever run.”
Below it, a sketch of the two of you: you with your hair tied back, him with his glasses askew and a shy smile. Little stars and hearts floated around the cartoon versions of yourselves, and at the bottom, he’d written:
“Hypothesis: Spending time with you improves my mood exponentially. Conclusion: Hypothesis confirmed.”
You pressed your hand over your mouth to hide your smile, your face heating up as tears pricked the corners of your eyes.
Carefully, you scribbled on the back with your pencil:
“Conclusion peer-reviewed and verified. Park Jisung, you’re my favorite discovery.”
When the exam ended, and everyone started filing out, you caught up to him in the hallway.
“Hey, Newton,” you said softly.
Jisung turned, his nervous smile flickering into something brighter when he saw you holding up the note.
“Did you…did you find it?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I did.” You stepped closer, holding the paper gently between your fingers. “You know, I think you might be my best result yet.”
Jisung let out a soft laugh, cheeks flushed pink. “Does that mean we’ve achieved optimal conditions?”
You grinned, reaching out to intertwine your fingers with his. “Definitely. Stable equilibrium achieved.”
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TAGLIST ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @galacticnct @yizhrt @polarisjisung @multifandomania @spacejip @peterm4rker @viasdreams
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writers-potion · 10 months ago
Note
Could you give any advice for "descriptive" writing of any scene or action scenes or mapping out the scenery (Mountains, forests, streets etc) - i believe this is a struggle for Non-English speaking writers due to lack of vast vocabulary.
Common Scenery Description Tips
Vocabulary is clearly an important part of description, but it doesn’t have to be a limit. The most important thing about description in fiction is picking the right details to mention:
How does the details add to the mood of the story? A mountain ridge will be dark, gray and foggy if the overall mood is meant to be mysterious/brooding. In contrast, a mountain can be brilliantly snow-capped, lush green and “smiling down” upon the character if they’re out for a light stroll.
How are the contrasts/complementary aspects being brought out?
Are you using the five senses? You can even combine the senses, ie. blue ringing of the church bells
(If you have the POV character) what 
Some other tips for setting description:
Use similes and metaphors. Creative figures of speech always get my attention as a reader. 
Mention story-specific elements. For example, “The sky was the shade of Zoes’ eyes” or “the mountains looked like a group of trolls sleeping on one another” 
Be concise. Today’s readers don’t want to read paragraphs and paragraphs about one landscape. Outline the larger elements in the scene, their location and general mood. Add some details, then move on. 
If the same location appears multiple times, differentiate the description little by little as you write, instead of trying to lay out one scene in too much detail at once. 
That said, here are some helpful words/phrases:
Forests/Mountains
Color: bone-white, phantom-white, hazy gray
Sound: rumbling, booming grumbling, bellowing clapping, trundling, growling, thundering
Shape: crinkled, crumpled, knotted, grizzled, rumpled, wrinkled, craggy, jagged, gnarled, rugose  
Action: sky-punching/stabbing/piercing/spearing, heaven-touching/kissing, snow-cloaked/hooded/wreathed/festooned
Sloping sides, sharp/rounded ridges, high point/peak/summit
Majestic, gargantuan humbling, vast, massive, titanic, towering, monumental, mighty, vast, humbling
Mountains having faces, etc. 
Seas
Color: blue-green, crystal-clear crystalline, emerald, frothy, hazy, glistening, pristine, turquoise
Size: boundless, abyssal, fathomless, unconquerable, vast, wondrous
Sound: billowing, blustering, bombastic
Action: boisterous, agitated, angry, biting, breaking, brazen. Churning, bubbling, changing, brooding, calm, convulsing, enticing erratic, fierce, tempestuous, turbulent, undulating
Alluring, blissful, betwitching, breezy, captivating, chaotic, chilly, elemental, disorienting
Deserts
Sight: A landscape of sand, flat, harsh sunlight, cacti, tumbleweeds, dust devils, cracked land, crumbing rock, sandstone, canyons, wind-worn rock formations, tracks, dead grasses, vibrant desert blooms (after rainfall), flash flooding, dry creek
Sounds: Wind (whistling, howling, piping, tearing, weaving, winding, gusting), birds cawing, flapping, squawking, the fluttering shift of feasting birds, screeching eagles, the sound of one’s own steps, heavy silence, baying wild dogs
Smell: Arid air, dust, one’s own sweat and body odor, dry baked earth, carrion
Touch: Torrid heat, sweat, cutting wind, cracked lips, freezing cold (night) hard packed ground, rocks, gritty sand, shivering, swiping away dirt and sweat, pain from split lips and dehydration, numbness in legs, heat/pain from sun stroke, clothes…
Taste: Grit, dust, dry mouth & tongue, warm flat canteen water, copper taste in mouth, bitter taste of insects for eating, stringy wild game (hares, rats) the tough saltiness of hardtack, biscuits or jerky, an insatiable thirst or hunger
Streets
Dusty, fume-filled, foul, sumptuous, broad, bucolic, decayed, mournful, seemingly endless, empty, unpaved, lifeless, dreadfully genteel, muddy, nondescript, residential/retail
Bleach, flimsy, silent, narrow, crooked, furrowed, smoggy, commonplace, tumbledown, treeless, shady
The blacktop streets absorb the spring sunshine as if intent upon sending heaven's warmth back through my soles.
The streets absorbed the emotions in the air, the city as the steady and reassuring mother.
The streets were a marriage of sounds, from bicycle wheels to chattering.
In the refreshing light of early daytime, the streets had the hues of artistic dreamtime, soft yet bold pastels.
Cobbled streets flowed as happy rivers in sunlight.
Parties
Some extra tips for locations like parties, where lots of action is going around practically everywhere:
Focus on the important characters - where they are, who they’re with. 
Provide some overall description of the structure of the party scene (a pool, a two-storey house with yard?), then move on to details. 
Don’t try to describe everything. 
whirlwind of laughter and music, a symphony of joyous chaos.
It was a gathering that shimmered with the glow of twinkling lights and echoed with the rhythm of dancing feet.
The air was alive with excitement, buzzing with conversations and the clink of glasses.
Every corner held a story waiting to unfold, a moment waiting to be captured in memory.
It was a tapestry of colors, a mosaic of faces, each adding their own brushstroke to the vibrant canvas of the night.
Laughter cascaded like a waterfall, infectious and unstoppable, filling the room with warmth.
The night was a carnival of senses, with aromas of delicious food mingling with the melodies that filled the air.
Time seemed to slip away in the whirl of the party, moments blending into each other like colors on a palette.
The energy of the crowd was electric, pulsing through the room like a heartbeat, binding everyone in a shared moment of celebration.
It was a celebration of life, where worries faded into the background, and the present moment was all that mattered.
2K notes · View notes
leiatalon · 2 months ago
Text
If you enjoy art, be kind to artists. 💞
Artists pour themselves into their work.
Whether it's writing, visual art, music, or any other artistic expression, when art is shared you're seeing a piece of someone's soul.
Please, be respectful. Be kind.
Constructive criticism is helpful if the intent is genuine improvement and it is delivered with compassion, but when people come from a place of entitlement or use cruel words it can discourage artists to the point where they stop sharing their art.
Please don't be that person.
If you put pressure on people, it's counterproductive. Yes, you might be feeling impatient to get an update on a game because you want more of it. You might have ideas that you think will make the story better.
But remember, you're not the artist.
Writers must write what they want or the creative process becomes a burden. We must stick to our vision or the story might not be completed.
We never know what's going on in someone's personal life.
PLEASE BE KIND.
This is not directed at my own readers because all of you have been lovely to me and I appreciate that so much!
However, I have several friends who are feeling discouraged because of comments made by fans who are coming across as impatient and less than compassionate.
My recommendation if you find this happening to you is to take a deep breath. Touch grass. Go outside. And, perhaps more than anything:
Create your own art.
Writing is hard. Writing IF games is even harder. If you've never tried it, you don't have that perspective.
If you enjoy interactive fiction, or painting, or music, or any other creative pursuit and are finding judgmental thoughts creeping into your head about an artist's work, try making your own. You might enjoy it! You might not. Either way, you'll gain valuable insight into a process which is increasingly complicated as a story goes on.
Art helps us express ourselves. It adds beauty to the world. As people who enjoy art, we can amplify that beauty by the way we respond to it.
If we approach art from a place of appreciation and gratitude, not only do we get more enjoyment from it but we can provide support to the artists who create it, and thus help them feel empowered to share more art with us.
Kindness. Patience. Gratitude. Respect.
This is the kind of nourishment artists need from their fans, and the kind of motivation that helps us create in optimal ways.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk. 💞
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gh0stsp1d3r · 7 months ago
Note
HERE TO ANSWER THE PRAYER FOR LUKE REQS!!
So- Ares! Reader who’s the sister of Clarisse. And Luke is like hopelessly obsessed with her, and Clarisse like HATES him for liking her. So during a game of capture the flag… iykyk
I really don’t got any ideas past that so you have full creative freedom with this one 🙃
𝒪𝓃 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 ℴ𝓌𝓃
warnings: just some making out against a tree, nothing else !
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Capture the flag Day. You didn't know whether you hated or loved it. You were training with Clarisse when he came up to you.
"Hey, y/n," he spoke, leaning against a tree. His arms were folded and he watched you down the water in your bottle. You released the bottle from your mouth, giving him a small smile.
"Hey, Luke, what's up?" You asked while Clarisse side-eyed him, and just before he could answer, she opened her mouth.
"Go away, Castellan, we're busy." she spat harshly, making him smile, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. You just shrugged.
"Now!" she barked out and pointed, he held his hands up in mock defense and walked away. You looked at Clarisse and she huffed.
"You gonna do this with everyone who likes me?" you asked her, amused at the previous exchange with the boy.
"No. I just hate him." She grumbled out, pushing past you. You followed her.
"Aweeee, my little sister cares for me!" you said with a wide smile, putting your hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off.
"Whatever."
-----
Capture the flag day. You loved it. You stood on the grass, listening to your sister shout directions at the campers. You felt eyes burning into you, causing you to look over and see none other than Luke Castellan staring at you from the other side.
He gave you a small smile, you gave him one back, he turned back to Annabeth, a light pink hue on his face.
“Y/n, are you even paying attention?” She asked you, you turning your focus back to her with an eye roll. “Yes. Go in the woods, distract any campers I see, blah blah blah.” You told her, she just huffed and turned to the rest of the campers.
Having a little sister who was also the bossiest person in camp was tiring.
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You glanced around the seemingly empty forest, looking behind trees for traps or people. But you saw neither.
You were wrong.
You were thrown off guard when someone came up behind you, putting their hand over your mouth. Your eyes went wide, their hands going to your body, pinning you against a tree.
They took their hands off, releasing you and standing front of you with a grin.
Luke fucking Castellan.
“Luke?!” You spoke, voice full of shock. He shrugged, tilting his head to the side.
“Didn’t expect to see you here.”
You gave him a knowing look. You always came over here.
“Okay, maybe I did.” He held his hands up in defense, you rolled your eyes and lightly shoved the boy. “Just came to see what you were doing, damn.”
“So you’re not gonna beat me up or anything?” You asked him, slightly confused.
“Usually I would. But I wouldn’t wanna ruin your pretty face, would I?” He asked you with a small smirk. You shaking your head.
“You’re just scared.” You told him, going closer to him, he furrowed an eyebrow, looking down at you.
“Oh am I?”
“I would beat you.” You told him quietly, your faces were so close, you could feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear as he leaned in.
“Sure you would.” He replied, leaning away and looking at you, his hand went to your jaw, thumb caressing your skin.
You were tired of playing this game. You leaned in, capturing his lips in yours. It was a teeth clashing, pinning against a tree type kiss, the one where you wrapped your legs around his waist, your back against the bark of the tree as you let out quiet moans that he swallowed back up, your hand traveling his back, fisting the fabric of his shirt.
You don’t know how long you stayed kissing each other, when he finally pulled away, his lips were red and swollen, mouth slightly agape, his hair messy from your touch.
He looked like one of the Gods themselves, it made you smile, pulling him back in for more until you were interrupted by the sound of someone.
“Oh, shitttt! Alright, Luke, I see you.” Chris’s voice spoke, both of you pulling away to look at him. Next to him was Clarisse.
“What the fuck?!” She exclaimed, already stomping over to Luke. Your eyes widened and you grabbed your stuff, leaving Luke as you ran, him following you.
“Oh, come on! Don’t leave me here with her!” He shouted.
“You��re on your own, babe!” You shouted over your shoulder, watching him continue to try and follow you.
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algae-tm · 8 months ago
Text
KILL BILL P.6
Charles Leclerc x famous singer! reader
Warnings : morally grey reader, toxic exes
Author’s note : There are so many x readers where the reader doesn’t do anything wrong, which I love don’t get me wrong but I wanted to write one where she’s a bit flawed. And obvs I cannot hate her cause she’s just in love and this is lossely (very loosely) based around real life events y’all so I get it! And also I love Alex 😭 I was gunna make her the villain but I literally can’t! So this is going a bit of a diff direction, in terms of ending. - Algae 🌱
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INSTAGRAM
y/bff/n
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liked by lewishamilton, oscarpiastri and 678,798 others
y/bff/n : talking about boys over brunch? (tagged : yourusername)
yourusername : feels like I’m 18 again
— user3 : holdup when did y/n and Charles get together?
— user4 : she was 18 and he was 19/20…
— user5 : lmao that’s why he’s got her wrapped round his finger… poor baby hasn’t known any better
— user7 : not you guys acting like Charles groomed her be so serious! they have a 1 and a half year age gap touch grass.
— user9 : you can’t argue with people like this, they’re so chronically online!
— user4 : so how did they meet?
— user19 : google is free!
— user6 : her and Lewis did a fashion campaign when she was 16, and he sort of took her under his wing, cause I think her parents were a bit... I believe she then met Charles when she came to watch a race and watched the f2 race as well.
user1 : y/n telling you about how she’s a slut?
— y/bff/n : only ever having been with 1 man equals slut?
— user1 : going after a man with a girlfriend surely does.
lewishamilton : we love to see it
— y/bff/n : we sure do 😍
— yourusername : not you guys acting like I was dead in a ditch…
— y/bff/n : you were in man purgatory, it’s basically the same thing.
user11 : does Oscar know y/bff/n?
— user12 : No why?
— user11 : cause bros lurking in the comments
— user1 : lmao you think the skank’s gunna go for him next? (user1 has been blocked)
— user13 : @oscarpiatri trust you do not know how to handle @yourusename
— user11: poor baby she’d eat him alive
user13 : oh to be a fly on the wall for the Charles convo
user14 : trust it was hours long
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername
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liked by lewishamilton, danielricciardo, carlossainz55 and 10,987,843 others
yourusername : boys are awful and grotesque. i had to decompress on an island to get the crazy out of my brain. it’s a good thing mics are portable. Thank you Ephraim! My concierge for finding me a keyboard so I could get you guys this song that entered my brain almost two weeks ago and refused to leave. It’s a good teaser for my album, which is out in TWO days. so without further ado hope y’all like The Weekend!! if you don’t like it I’ll cry.
lewishamilton : oh this gives context to the unhinged messages you sent me at 1 am
— yourusername : I’m an artist, it’s my creative process
— lewishamilton : well this is way more constructive than turning up in Monaco
— user5 : oop- not you clocked by Lewis Hamilton of all people
— user7 : well I’m happy that Lewis doesn’t condone the behaviour of a slag
— user8 : lmao even her friends are getting tired of her
— user9 I think y’all are forgetting that they were together for six years, it was y/n’s first relationship, he dumps her out of the blue gets a new girlfriend within months. I for one would also go a bit crazy and need to be secluded on an island! Too bad I don’t have island money lmao
lewishamilton : I’ve been listening non stop! You truly out did yourself kid 🖤
y/bff/n : thank god you are not in Canada rn
y/bff/n : i was having a heart attack!
y/bff/n : you need to tell me before you travel across the world! We cannot have a repeat of last time.
— yourusername : have I really traumatised you that badly?
——y/bff/name : yes
—— lewishamilton : yes
—— yoursiblinguser : yes
—— friend1 : yes
—— danielricciardo: yes
—— oscarpiastri : yes
——yourusername : now hang on @oscarpiatri I don’t even know you!
— — oscarpiastri : wanna change that?
——- user11 : not you going after your dad’s ex
——-user14 : about to be a messy family reunion
——-danielricciardo : check that Aussie charm 🇦🇺
user7 : okay someone please talk about the lyrics????? Right off the bat it’s unhinged?? “WHY YOU WANT ME WHEN YOUVE GOT A GIRL??!” No cause that is so true like @charles_leclerc why are you still contacting her when Alex is right there?? (Liked by yourusername)
— user8 : ‘knowing it’s selfish, knowing I’m desperate’ oh she’s DOWN BAD!!
— user7 : you get it… cause DESPERATE, you’re describing yourself as desperate?? Bad bitch down in aisle 4 I fear!
user9 : lmao no cause you’ve outdone yourself! What do you mean ‘my man is my man, is your man. Heard that’s her man too’
— user21 : no cause she really is not a serious individual 😂
— user10 : the song is a bop don’t get me wrong but am I the only one who’s thinking about Alex in all this??
— user11 : poor girl hasn’t done anything apart from like a serial monogamist…
— user12 : I mean after this release Alex just needs to count her losses and leave him (liked by alexandrasaintmleux)
— user13 : oop- not her liking… clock it! But at this point I think this is just a messy situation where everyone’s gunna lose. Especially Alex poor girl never stood a chance
user22 : I just keep him satisfied through the weekend!
— user23 : you’re like 9 to 5 I’m the weekend!!!!
— user24 : make him lose his mind every weekend!!!!
sza : please god never let me be this down bad over a man 🙏🏾
— yourusername : now I know you’re not the one talking 🤨
badgalriri : 🖤
donatella_versace : DONATELLA VERSACE 💜
user17 : release the album NOW!
user18 : I’m sorry but weren’t we just mad at her? Releasing a song doesn’t make you automatically in the right? In fact even the song paints her as a bit of a villain :( I can’t imagine poor Alex listening to it.
— user19 : right? She’s practically begging him to cheat with her
— user15 : i really don’t know how to feel about the whole situation but it’s definitely not a good feeling…
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••
TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee @callsignwidow
289 notes · View notes
imaginespazzi · 9 months ago
Text
Part 7: Home
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Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to (us)
(In which with bittersweet feelings, a nostalgic writer, finally writes the end of the story)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst and Fluff
Words: 7.1K
TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content
A/N: Hello my loves! I can't believe we've actually reached the end, who would have thought huh? I'm not sure if there will be an epilogue, mainly cause I don't know what I'd write but never say never. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter and if I've done the end I pictured justice but I really hope y'all like it anyways. There's a fair amount of creative liberty taken with WNBA logistics but please just accept it for the plot. Per usual, did I edit? Yes. Are there grammar mistakes and typos anyways? Yes. As always, let me know what you liked and disliked. And finally, to all my lovelies who have liked, reblogged, commented, sent in an ask, dm-ed me or simply just silently read this fic, I just wanna say thank you guys so, so, much, y'all have made writing every word worth it and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much I enjoyed writing it <3
August 2018
Paige swears, tonight, there are stars in the Minnesota night sky she’s never seen before in her life. The summer sky has darkened with nightfall, yet the shine of the moon and its companions make it still seem ever so bright. Or maybe, it’s just the girl lying next to Paige that makes tonight feel luminescent, sparkling with the promises of something not quite like friendship that Paige has never felt before. She’d spent the whole day with Azzi at the Minnesota State fair, trying to suppress these new butterflies in her stomach that seemed to have taken birth over their time in Latvia. Or well, maybe they’d been there from the start, but they’d really only started this dance of theirs, the one that makes Paige feel all tingly when Azzi smiles, over the course of this summer. 
“Paige it’s cold, stop hogging the blanket,” Azzi chastises, breaking Paige from a trance, as she tugs on the pink and purple blanket covering the two of them, “I knew we should have brought two of them.”
“It’s barely on me” Paige argues for the sake of arguing but she shifts anyway to allow the younger girl to pull the blanket, so clearly meant for one person, a little more towards her, “besides, it’s about sharing body heat.”
“You’re not even warm enough to share body heat,” Azzi mocks as she makes a show of tracing a finger down Paige’s arm and everything in the blonde feels like it’s been lit on fire at the touch. And she wonders if Azzi feels it too, the electricity, the sparks of this could ruin me that scatter through her veins before finding themselves setting her heart ablaze. It’s too much and Paige shakes Azzi’s hand off with a little more force than she means too. 
When Azzi sends her questioning look, she splutters through an excuse, “your hands are cold too. Can we just do the boring shit we’re here to do.”
"Stargazing is not boring,” Azzi says indignantly, opening the little stargazing booklet she’d brought with her, flicking through the pages looking for something specific. 
To be honest, sitting still in an open field and squinting at the sky trying to figure out a distant constellation isn’t really Paige’s brand of entertainment. She’s a fidgety person by nature, constantly embroiled in the urge to be moving. But Azzi had brought it up the other day, with pleading eyes and a hopeful grin and well, sometimes it felt sinful to deny Azzi of anything she wants. And that’s how they’d ended up at a campsite, not too far from the State fair, lying on the grass, heads tilted towards each other, with a single blanket shielding them from the summer breeze. 
“Okay,” Azzi says after a while, using her fingers to point out a pattern in the sky, “I think that one’s Cassiopeia.”
“If you say so,” Paige nods, not really sure what she’s supposed to be looking at. 
“Paaaaige,” Azzi whines, “focus.”
“Dude I can barely see anything, the fuck am I supposed to focus o-”
Before Paige can finish her sentence, she feels herself being pulled by the younger girl, the side of her body fitting into the crook’s of Azzi’s like a perfect puzzle piece. She looks over at the brunette, and the protest dies on the tip of her tongue, as she realises just how close Azzi is to her now, all semblance of air leaving her lungs. Paige gulps, eyes tracing every inch of her best friend’s face, stopping of their own accord at Azzi’s lips, before guiltily flashing back to meet the younger girl’s eyes which are just as focused on Paige. And it feels like there’s no force in this world right now that could make either of them look away. Except maybe the force of friends don’t do this. 
“Just focus,” Azzi breaks contact first, turning her face back at the stars, before gently grabbing hold of Paige’s hand so she can guide it in the pattern of the constellation. And Paige still doesn’t really see it, doesn’t even particularly care about seeing it, but if it gets Azzi to hold her hand, soft skin putting light pressure against her palm, she thinks she’ll try to see some random lines in the sky forever. 
“It’s pretty.”
“You don’t see it do you?”
“Nope,” Paige’s grin widens when Azzi chuckles, shaking her head fondly. Something in her blooms, delighted at being the reason for that. And she’s always prided herself in being funny, she thinks of herself as a little bit of a comedian really, but she’s never wanted to make anyone laugh quite as much as she wants to make Azzi laugh. 
“Well that’s enough stargazing for us then,” Azzi rolls her eyes, closing her little booklet and making a move to sit up but Paige is quicker, pulling the younger girl back down and interlocking their fingers. Her own overeagerness causes a tinge of embarrassment to race up her cheeks, and she hopes it’s dark enough that Azzi won’t see the pale pink blush taking over her face. 
“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?”
“Yeah okay let’s stay longer,,” Azzi agrees  and sometimes when Azzi speaks like that, her voice lyrically soft with a secret smile hidden in it, Paige wonders if maybe it would be okay to hope for, to feel something more because maybe, just maybe, Azzi feels it too. 
“You know you should come to the state championship,” Paige says after a second of silence, trying to keep her voice nonchalant but she can hear the wishfulness bleeding into it anyways. 
Azzi raises an eyebrow, “isn’t that in March? That’s like months and months away.”
“Yeah but- well-” Paige shrugs, cheeks burning just a little bit, “you probably wanna book in advance cause like tickets and stuff you know?”
“You don’t even know if you’ll be in the state championship. There’s still a whole season to go.”
“Oh I know. I know we’re definitely gonna be there.” Paige smirks, cockiness back in full-fledged form. 
“Then I’ll be there,” Azzi says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you better win though Bueckers.”
“Watch me,” and she’s jutting her chest out in arrogance sure, but really everything inside her is swelling with something else, a feeling she’s starting to understand a little too well, a feeling that terrifies her, a feeling she doesn’t think she’s quite ready to let herself feel yet, “it would be nice you know, to win a championship together at some point.”
“I don’t think my parents would be on board with moving to Minnesota.”
“I’m sure I could convince them,” Paige feels a little giddy at the thought, “but I meant more like college, like UConn.”
It’s a topic they’ve stumbled upon a couple of times, with each other, and with the other girls at Team USA. And as much as Paige would love for her other teammates to follow her to her dream school, she’s practical enough to know they might have other priorities. But the thing is that with the rest of the girls, it’s just something she’d like to happen but with Azzi, now that Paige has said it out loud, she’s beginning to realise how desperately she wants that, her and Azzi, on the same team, fighting the same battles and winning the same wars, together. 
“Don’t think you can win a national championship without me Bueckers?” Azzi smirks, twisting her head towards Paige, eyebrows cocked in arrogance. 
“Of course I can,” Paige’s face softens, the vulnerability that only ever seems to come out around her best friend seeping on to her features, “but I think it would be fun to win one with you. Someday.”
“Someday, “ Azzi whispers back, giving Paige’s hand a light squeeze, and then her eyes widen at the sky, “holy shit is that a shooting star? Oh my god Paige look up, quick, it’s beautiful.”
In the dark of the night, a rare flicker of gold shoots across the obsidian Minnesota sky. Paige has never seen one before but it seems fitting really, that she’d see one tonight. 
“We have to make a wish,” she whispers and Azzi, never one to really believe, rolls her eyes but she follows Paige’s lead, closing her eyes. And the thing is Paige could wish for a lot of things really, but she finds herself thinking of only one word that sums up all she could ever want: someday.
***
August 2026 
They’ve been playing against each other for years now and yet the thrill of the face-off still hasn’t quite worn off. Back in the handful of games in high school, it had been quickfire friendly trash talk, two best friends going at it like the competitors they were. College had been drastically different, each game, each play, underlined with the tension of two people who still hadn’t quite figured it out. But Paige thinks her favourite version of them as opponents is definitely this one, the one where they might be on different teams in the WNBA, but off the court, they both know they’re on the same side, together. 
Their relationship isn’t quite a secret; it would have been impossible to hide if after the kiss at the 2025 national championship. But they’d kept as quiet about it as possible, skillfully dodging media questions, wanting to shelter it from the prying eyes of the public. It makes playing each other on national television, just that little bit more entertaining, trying to keep things as cordial as possible. If Paige’s hands end up just a little too close to Azzi’s waist, lingering a little longer than necessary against the patch of skin she’d marked with a hickey earlier this morning, and it makes the younger girl shiver, then that’s just a tactic to win. And if Azzi breathes seductive thoughts of what she’d like to do after the game when guarding Paige, and it makes the blonde want to turn around and kiss the smirk off of her girlfriend’s lips, well that’s just another innovative defensive strategy. 
“Be a good girl for me and move,” Paige whispers, the double entendre in her voice apparent, as she tries to dribble the ball past Azzi. There’s only a minute or so left in the last meeting of the regular season between Paige’s Lynx and Azzi’s Mystics -funny how that had worked out-  and the score is painfully close, with the Mystics closing in on the Lynx’s two point-lead. 
“Always a good girl for you P,” Azzi smirks, her voice the quietest it could possibly be, but Paige hears her next words like they’re on a loudspeaker in the area,  “it’s why I’m wearing your favourite purple panties.”
It takes a second, a second where Paige’s eyes gloss over with lust, as her mind rushes back to the last time she’d seen, the last time she’d touched the silky undergarment, for the ball to be stolen from her hands. She’s a step too slow to recover and by that time Azzi’s already scored the easy lay-up to tie up the game, a mischievous grin adorning her normally stoic game face. 
On the other end of the court, Napheesa draws a foul and Paige and Azzi end up next to each for free throws. Paige is seething, unsure if the heat curling up her spine is from the game or the girl standing next to her. 
“Sorry baby, all’s fair in love and war right?” Azzi teases, pinky brushing against the blonde’s, “I’ll make it up to you later if you want.”
“You’re such a fucking menace,” Paige practically growls. She does want, in fact she’d like it right now if it was possible. Two years they’ve been together, longer if you count the inbetween, and still, every time Azzi lights a match, Paige feels herself burn just as brightly as the first time she’d felt that magnetic pull. 
“Learnt from the best,” Azzi hums with a grin as Napheesa hits both free throws. 
The rest of the game passes in a blur of frenzied shots and hurried fouls but the Lynx pull out an eventual, much-needed win, to better their chances of clinching a higher seed in the playoffs. After missing the playoffs in 2024, the Lynx, despite having relatively low odds, had secured the no.1 pick and there had never really been a doubt that they would pick Paige. She’d helped the team get back to the playoffs last season but they hadn’t made it out of the first round. A championship doesn’t seem quite possible yet, but Paige has her fingers crossed that they’d at least make it to a semi-final this time. 
“The two of you are terrible at this,” Aaliyah’s the first person to hug Paige during the handshake line, “I thought you’d jump each other’s bones in the middle of the game today.”
“We’re not that bad,” Paige rolls her eyes at her former teammate. She high-fives a few more of the Mystics team until she gets to Azzi, who’s already smiling, despite the loss. The cameras are quick to crowd them, clearly wanting a more sensational picture than the one they’re likely to get. Still, despite the unwanted attention, Paige lets herself nestle into the crook of Azzi’s neck. 
“You owe me twice tonight,” she whispers into the younger girl’s ear, “one for the win and one for that bullshit you pulled on the court tonight.”
Azzi’s voice is breathless when she replies, “I can give you way more than two.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“It’s a promise.”
***
“With the new rules, after this season you’ll be a free agent, have you given any thought to that?”
Waiting for the Lynx’s turn in the media room, Paige hadn’t been paying much attention to the questions being asked to the Mystics players, her focus solely on how hot her girlfriend always looked post games. But the words ‘free agent’ pique her interest. The W had changed the rookie contract rules for first round draftees to two years and that meant both Paige and Azzi would be free agents after this year. But while it hadn’t reached the media quite yet, the Lynx were likely to use their core designation on Paige. Which meant the only one of them making any decision about next season would be Azzi. It was a subject the two of them were cautiously tip-toeing around, using the shield of distance to avoid talking about what it could mean for them. 
“I’m focused on the season, this team and the rest of our games. I’m not really thinking about the future,” Azzi answers diplomatically. 
“You’ve obviously got very strong ties to the DC area but you also went to UCLA, if the Sparks or maybe even the Valkyries, considering your connection to Steph Curry, were interested, and there have been rumours that they are, would you consider it?” the same reporter prods. 
“Again, I’m not currently thinking about any of that,” to anyone else Azzi probably sounds neutral but Paige has studied the sheet music of Azzi’s voice to the point where she knows what’s hidden behind every note, behind every little indent. The tinge of irritation is masked by a smile, but the line of questioning is clearly unappreciated. 
“And what about the Lynx?” the persistently oblivious reporter continues and this time Paige sucks in a breath, “you have some ties to that team don't you? Have you given some thought to maybe going there?”
Azzi’s eye twitches ever so slightly, “the Lynx just beat my team. The only thoughts I have right now are about how to beat them next time.”
That elicits a laugh from the media and finally the rather obtuse reporters seem to understand that he’s not going to be able to pry anything newsworthy from Azzi’s mouth. But even if he hasn’t achieved his desired effect, he’s succeeded in making Paige’s mind start running in circles. She hadn’t let herself think about it yet, the potential of Azzi joining the Lynx, the potential of playing with Azzi, the potential of finally just being with Azzi. Because facing the potential for all of that, facing all the things she wants means also facing the potential that maybe Azzi doesn’t want any of that. 
***
The air in Paige’s living room is thick with a suffocating tension as she and Azzi sit on opposite ends of the couch. It reminds Paige a little bit of the before, a dreaded version of them she’d foolishly thought they grown out of, until something reminiscent of their past problems had reared its ugly head, and suddenly it feels a bit like she’s playing a losing game. 
“Will you please stop that,” she bites out, referring to where Azzi’s foot is incessantly tapping on the wooden floors, “it’s giving me a headache.”
Azzi’s eyes narrow, flashing with irritation, “is it my tapping or the alcohol giving you a headache Paige?”
“I didn’t even drink that much,” Paige says through gritted teeth and Azzi scoffs. 
It’s a lie. After both teams were done with post game pressers, she, Azzi and a couple of the other girls had ended up at a local bar as they often did when the other team didn’t have to fly out til the next day. Paige had been tense the whole evening and trying to pretend not to be, especially when Azzi could see right through her façade, had only made the whole thing worse. She wasn’t one to drink too much, always happy just being sufficiently tipsy but then she’d gotten in her head too much. And when the first shot didn’t quite hit the way she needed it to, she’d kept on going, receiving worried looks from all the girls, until Azzi had finally stepped in. The ride back from the bar had been a sobering experience, one look at Azzi’s stoic face, giving away her irritation. 
“That’s why you still reek of tequila?” 
“How the fuck would you know? You haven’t come near me all night.” 
“Don’t you dare try and turn this on me Paige. I tried to talk to you all night til you decided you wanted to act like freshman frat boy,” Azzi spits out, hurt and anger colliding in her voice, “we barely get to spend time together during the season and the one night in forever that we do, you pull this shit?”
They haven’t had an argument like this since they’ve been officially together, the kind of argument that has them balancing on a delicate tight rope, too afraid to take a step backwards in their relationship, and too prideful to take a step forward towards each other. 
“I didn’t think you cared about spending time together during the season,” Paige accuses and there’s a sensible part of her, one that’s currently being held captive by the dangers of liquor, that knows it’s a ridiculous allegation. 
Azzi stares at her, lips opening and closing in disbelief, “excuse me?”
“It’s pretty simple really Azzi. If you wanna spend the whole season together, the option is right fucking there, but I- I can’t even tell if you’re interested in taking it,” Paige is pacing now, teeth gnawing at her lips like they always do when she’s nervous. 
“What- what are you even talking about?” Azzi asks, clearly confused. 
“Free fucking agency. They asked you about it and you said you hadn’t thought about it at all. That’s really great to hear Az, really great to know you haven’t thought about how that could literally change our whole fucking life,” and even as the words waterfall out of her mouth, Paige knows she’s being unreasonable, but the mix of stress and alcohol churning in her stomach is just enough to keep her from taking the words back. 
“I didn’t- that’s not even what I said. Jesus fucking christ Paige,” Azzi rubs her face, looking defeated.
“So you have thought about it then?”
“Of course I’ve thought about it, “ Azzi throws her hands up, “but I wasn’t gonna tell the media about all of that. But you- you seriously think I haven’t thought about what this means for us? You don’t- do you really think I’m not thinking about you- about us- while trying to make this decision?”
“Well you definitely didn’t think of me- of us- when you chose UCLA,” Paige’s eyes widen at her own words, knowing immediately that of all things she could have said, those were the worst ones, “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”
In front of her, Azzi has gone deathly still, face completely devoid of emotion, until the first tear drops and all of Paige’s anger dissipates, the guilt clawing back with full force. 
“I thought we were over that,” Azzi whispers, voice trembling, as she looks down at her hands, “but maybe we’ll never be over that.”
“We are,” Paige sinks to her knees in front of the younger girl, tugging Azzi’s hands into her own, “we are over it. I just- it just slipped out.”
Azzi’s quiet for a moment before she pulls her hands out of the blonde’s grip, sidestepping her as she stands up and Paige feels empty and cold and just a little bit broken. 
“Are you leaving?” she whispers, peering up at Azzi through tear soaked eyelashes. 
“I think I should, before anything else just slips out,” Paige flinches and Azzi’s expression softens, “I know- I know you didn’t mean it like that but I just- I need some space.”
Panic filters into Paige’s lungs, wrapping its dirty hands and squeezing so tight that she can barely breathe. She’s not sure when she’ll see Azzi again, now that there’s no more Lynx-Mystics games left in the regular season and it’s unlikely with their expected seedings that they’d meet at some point in the playoffs. It’s not like distance is new to them, but in the last two years, they’ve only ever said goodbye with an i love you attached to the end. 
“Are you-,” Paige gasps for air, “are you leaving me?”
And it must be written all over Paige's face, just how petrified she is of this moment, because that's all it takes for Azzi to rush back into Paige’s space, hands cupping her cheeks, “oh baby of course not. I just- you’re still drunk and I’m upset and I don’t want us to say anything we don’t mean. And I- need time to think about free agency and I think you- you need time to think about why that slipped out.”
Paige sighs, melting into Azzi’s touch as the knots in her stomach begin to untangle themselves, “you’re so logical.”
“Someone has to be,” a half-smile flitters across the younger girl’s face as she wipes at Paige’s tears, “we’ll figure this out okay? Just- just give me a little bit of time.”
Give me time. It’s a familiar line, so similar to what Azzi had asked for when she was making a decision about college and Paige would be lying if she said there isn’t a part of her that’s terrified fate is going to make them repeat the same mistakes. But part of growing up, Paige surmises, is letting time test you with the same trials and tribulations, and the next time, coming out of the other end on the right side. 
And so she squeezes Azzi’s hand, matching the younger girl's half smile, with a soothing one of her own, “okay.”
***
November 2027 
Paige doesn't know when she ended up in a love triangle with Azzi and the state of California but she wishes she was competing against an actual person. At least then she could throw a punch at the other guy. The W season is barely over and it seems like every front office has thrown themselves headfirst into convincing free agents to join their team. There’s a couple of teams interested in Azzi, but no one seems to be trying harder than the Los Angeles Sparks. Paige thinks whoever gave that city a name meaning “the angels” could not have been more wrong because really it’s a city full of devils constantly trying to steal her girl and no she’s not being dramatic. 
They’re supposed to be leaving for thanksgiving dinner when Azzi’s phone rings and Paige can’t help but roll her eyes when Cameron Brink’s name flashes on the CallerID. The Sparks seemed to have put her as head of their recruiting Azzi campaign and Cam had been diligently doing her part. 
“Azzi, Cam’s calling again,” Paige yells out to her girlfriend who’s still not quite finished getting ready.
“Can you pick it up?”
“Do I have to?”
“Paige,” Azzi whines and Paige sighs, hitting the green answering button. 
“The amount of times you’ve called my girlfriend this week, Brink, should I be concerned?”
“Jealous I’m replacing you as her favourite blonde?” Cam’s voice always sounds like she’s smiling and Paige can’t help her own smile. Goddamn Cameron Brink for always being the sweetest soul on this planet. 
“As if,” Paige scoffs, “it’s a holiday Cam, give the recruiting a rest.”
“Hey, I’m just calling to wish her a happy thanksgiving,” Cam defends. 
“Mmmhmm where’s my thanksgiving wish?”
“Oh please, the two of you are basically a unit. Wishing her is wishing you,” Cam is quiet for a second before speaking again, “the Sparks would be a good fit for her Paige.”
Paige sucks in a sharp breath, “I’m not the one you’re gonna have to convince.”
“I know but you know your opinion means a lot to her. I know you want her in Minnesota and she'd be good there too and I- I know it isn’t my place to say any of this but just- just don’t discourage her from doing what’s best for her,” there’s not a hint of malice in Cam’s words, there never is, but they pierce at Paige’s skin anyways. 
“Okay I’m ready, hand me the phone,” she’s saved from having to answer by Azzi waltzing into the living room and prying the phone from her hands. 
Paige watches silently as Azzi talks animatedly with Cam, noticing the way her girlfriend’s smile widens while talking about certain spots in L.A. They’d subconsciously decided not to breach the subject of free agency after that night. Paige hadn’t interfered in any of the Lynx’s conversations with Azzi, deciding that this time, she’d stay out of it. It hadn’t been easy, every little bit of her itching to pitch why the Lynx were the perfect fit, why Paige was the perfect fit, but she was determined to give Azzi the space -the time- she’d wanted. This time she’d leave the choice solely up to Azzi and whatever she decided, Paige would find her happiness in that. 
“Paige you ready to go,” Azzi waves a hand in front of Paige’s face, eyebrows raised in question when the older girl doesn’t make a move to get off the sofa, “hey, you good?”
“Cam says the Sparks would be a good fit,” Azzi stiffens at Paige’s words. 
“Paige-”
“She’s right,” Paige concedes, fingers fidgeting as she averts Azzi’s gaze. 
The younger girl blinks at her, clearly not having expected that, “she is?”
“Yeah. They need a shooting guard and you,” Paige smiles, reaching out to pull Azzi onto the couch with her, “you’re the best there is.”
“I wouldn’t go that far-”
“You are to me and it’s why I want you on the Lynx,” they both let out a breath with that. It’s not a secret of course but Paige hasn’t said it out loud before. 
“Paige-”
“But it’s okay if you don't wanna be on the Lynx, if you wanna be on the Sparks or stay here with the Mystics or on any other team, if you think it’s the right move for you and for your career then that’s fine. It’s okay and you don’t- you don’t need my permission or anything of course but I just- whatever you decide, I’ll support it okay? What I said that night about UCLA-  it wasn't- it wasn’t about you. I thought about it like you asked me to and it’s me. I was scared that I would fuck it up again and I’d lose you again-”
“You won’t,” Azzi grabs Paige’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze,  “I won’t let you.”
“I know. I know now that whatever happens, we’ll be okay. And so you can choose whatever team you want and it won’t- it won’t affect us, I promise. It won’t be like last time I swear. When you make your decision- I just- I don’t want you to make it for me or for us, cause you and me? Baby we’ll be just fine no matter what. Wherever you go and wherever I am, we’ll make it work, just as we have for the last two years,” Paige smirks, “besides I kinda enjoy kicking your ass.”
Azzi lets out a snort as she climbs onto Paige’s lap, thighs straddling her hips, “you really had to ruin it with that last part huh?”
“Was getting a little too sappy for me,” Paige mumbles and when she looks up, the emotions floating in Azzi’s eyes make Paige’s heart stutter. Because no one else gets this Azzi. This Azzi, who wears her heart on her sleeve, who lets her walls down, only for Paige’s eyes to see, only for Paige’s mind to memorise, only for Paige’s heart to keep. 
“You mean it?” Azzi whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of Paige’s face, touching lingering, “you’d be okay with anything?”
“Yeah, yeah I do,” Paige cups Azzi’s cheeks, brushing her lips against the younger girl’s, “whatever you choose, we’ll be fine. No matter what, I believe in us.”
***
January 2028
Paige groans when her phone rings at 2 a.m., fumbling around in the dark trying to answer it. 
“I swear you better be dying if you’re calling me this late,” she grumbles into the phone, voice scratchy with sleep. 
“Not quite,” Azzi says, and Paige’s eyebrows furrow at the amount of background noise she can hear behind her girlfriend. 
“Dude where the hell are you at 3 in the morning?” she asks, now a little more awake as she sits up. 
“I uh- I had a bit of a revelation,” and Paige can practically picture Azzi, wherever she might be, fidgeting with her fingers and biting her lips. 
“That doesn’t explain anything.”
“I know. I know. Shit, I was supposed to do this in person. I had a whole plan but apparently being with you has made me impatient,” Azzi rambles. 
“You’re still not making any sense,” but Paige’s heart is starting to beat erratically fast in anticipation. 
“I had this realisation while I was in the gym today, it was really quiet and peaceful and I was fine you know- all day I was fine- just doing daily routines and then I just- I missed you. I miss you all the time do you know that?”
Paige does know, knows it far too well. Sometimes she thinks missing Azzi comes as naturally as breathing, an innate part of her day to day, a constant ache that she’s felt since she was 15. 
“I miss you too,” she whispers. 
“And I’ve learned to survive with that feeling, with missing you constantly. I mean it’s been more than 10 years at this point, how could I not? But what I realised today is that just because I can- just because I can live missing you- doesn’t mean I want to.”
“What are you saying Azzi?”
“DC is my childhood. My family is close to there, it’s part of where I grew up. It’ll always be my first home. And LA is where I found myself, my identity, and for a while it felt like home too.”
“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, hands gripping the phone as tight as possible, wrapping that one syllable in emblems of give me forever. 
“But my forever home isn’t in DC or LA and it’s not really in any other place either because-  Jesus this might be the clichést thing I’ve ever said but-,” Azzi lets out a chuckle, “my home is wherever you are Paige. Wherever we’re together, that’s home.”
It feels a little bit like the end of a drought, the wetness on Paige’s cheeks like the rain that comes after. In the pitch black of her room, phone clutched closely to her ear with Azzi’s words floating through it like a swan song, Paige swears she’s never felt the world glow quite like this before. 
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Beating your ass has been fun as hell but I think we’d make a pretty good team Bueckers.”
And it’s a good thing Paige’s walls are soundproof because the delighted whoop she lets out practically vibrates around the room, all previous wisps of tiredness completely gone from her body. Azzi lets out a tearful laugh and Paige wishes they were together right now so she could tattoo this happiness onto both of their skins. 
“The greatest team ever,” Paige affirms, “When are you com-”
“Attention passengers Delta Airlines Flight 1248 to Minneapolis will be boarding soon, please have your passport and ticket ready to check at the gate.”
“About that,” Azzi says shyly as Paige’s mouth drops open at the announcement, “I uh- I had a moment of spontaneity.”
“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my overthinking girlfriend?” Paige demands and Azzi giggles on the other end of line.
“I know it’s last minute, like really last minute and it was meant to be a surprise actually but I just- I really wanna see you. Is that okay?”
“Is that okay? Fuck Azzi, it’s all I want. Baby,” Paige breathes out softly, “come home.”
*** 
Time isn’t going nearly fast enough Paige thinks as she checks the arrivals board for the nth time. She’d tried for about four seconds to fall back asleep after hanging up the phone but her entire body had been buzzing with excitement. And so she’d gotten to the airport far earlier than necessary, and had maybe one too many cups of coffee if the jittery shake in her left hand is anything to go by.
She swears she feels her before she sees her. The air is electric as if the whole city, the whole state is waiting for Azzi too, for them to get their elusive forever. This moment feels like years in the making, and Paige is ready, ready to grasp it and make it hers. And then there’s Azzi, a clearly chosen-at-last minute wrinkled t-shirt, eyes drooping from the tiredness from not having slept all night, baby hairs in a frenzy across her forehead. To Paige, she’s still the prettiest girl in the entire universe. 
Azzi’s eyes scan through the airport until they land on Paige, a dazzling smile illuminating her exhausted features. It’s the exact same smile that Paige had first elicited from her on the flight back from Argentina when she’d told Azzi she had a feeling they'd make great friends. It’s her Paige smile. The world is still for a second, everything melting away except them and the whispers of the journey it had taken them to get to this point. Every delicately placed step towards each other feels like an ode to every year they’d spent apart. And then Paige is running, not caring about everyone else around her. She jumps into Azzi’s arm, all 6 feet of her, tangling her legs around the younger girl's waist while her arms fasten around the neck. It forces Azzi to let go of her small carry-on, not caring that it falls to the floor with a thud, as her hands wrap around Paige’s back, steadying her girlfriend’s weight on top of her. 
“You’re here,” Paige whispers, still a little in disbelief, “you’re really here.”
“I’ve been in Minny plenty of times before,” Azzi quips, adjusting her balance to properly hold the girl clinging to her like a koala. 
“Shut up you know what I mean. You’re here forever this time.”
“Well I don’t know about forever- OW,” Azzi shrieks, as Paige pinches her arm, “do you want me to drop you woman?”
“You’re never allowed to leave.”
“That sounds vaguely threatening.”
“Good because it definitely is a threat,” Paige says before pulling Azzi into a searing kiss, “welcome home baby.”
***
October 2028 
There are moments in life you remember forever. Sometimes you know they’re going to happen, sometimes they take you off guard and sometimes, it’s a combination of both. The Minnesota Lynx’s journey to the WNBA finals this season had always felt inevitable but the journey there, for a team that had unexpectedly fallen to the 4-seed despite pre-season clamour of them being number one, had been filled with bitter losses and moments of pure uncertainty. In a way, it perfectly mirrors Paige and Azzi’s relationship. 
There’s 11 seconds separating the Lynx from their 5th championship trophy as they lead the Sky by two points. The crowd is up on their feet, ready for their cheering to turn into roars the minute the final buzzer rings. Paige has the ball in her hands on the inbound, Coach Reeves yelling at her from the bench what to do, as she makes eye contact with Azzi. There are no words, not even a gesture that the other team might be able to interpret, but they know exactly what play they’re about to run.
Truth be told it hadn’t been the seamless transition the two of them had expected when Azzi joined the Lynx. They’d been naive to think years of not playing together wouldn’t have affected the backcourt chemistry they’d had almost instantly once upon a time. The first few games, there had been an embarrassing disconnect between the two of them that had resulted in a nasty berating from Coach Reeves and a subsequent argument between the two of them that had lasted into the next morning. It had taken several more practices, and a couple more games of flailing around, for them to finally become the duo Paige had always known they would. 
The game buzzer beeps and Paige throws the ball to Azzi who immediately returns it back to her, and then she’s running off screen after screen to get herself open on the wing, her sweet spot. Paige dribble penetrates into the paint, dragging an extra defender with her as they try to prevent her from getting a layup, the other defender blocks her from stepping back into a pull-up. Azzi’s defender has a momentary lapse in judgement, falling for the age-old trick of thinking she should help on defence, and that’s all it takes. A second for Paige to see Azzi open on the corner and pass it to her. A second for Azzi to shoot it. 
The three-pointer falls through the next with a perfect swish. Dagger shot. 
A small smile flits across Azzi’s face, the only emotion she’s shown all game and Paige can’t help the much larger grin that starts to flash on her own face. She can almost taste victory on the tip of her tongue, the two seconds left in the game are the only thing separating her from finally getting her version of the things we live for. Behind her she can hear Coach Reeves yelling at them to not foul, the 5-point lead enough of a cushion for them to withstand a last minute shot. But the Sky barely make it over midcourt and when Marina Mabrey heaves up a last second prayer, Paige doesn’t bother to see if it goes in as the buzzer sounds throughout Target Arena. The Minnesota crowd explodes in noise and colour as confetti falls from the sky. 
Despite the chaos of everything, Paige has never seen Azzi clearer than in this moment. Since she’d met the girl, in all of Paige’s prayers about winning a championship, one thing had always been constant, that when they’d come true, they’d come true with Azzi by her side. And she had been. The high school state champion, the college national championship, Azzi had been there for both but on the bleachers, as a spectator and as Paige’s biggest fan. But this, winning a championship with Azzi as her teammate, as her ally, as her partner, means something more. This win is theirs. 
“Do you remember when we saw that shooting star?” Azzi says softly, as they find their way into each other’s arms, not caring that there’s a thousand cameras capturing their every move. Paige pulls Azzi closer to her, every inch of her body pressing into the other girls until she’s not sure where she begins and where Azzi ends. 
“That was years ago,” Paige remarks but she can see it clearly, two young girls underneath the stars, unaware of what their future would be but sure that the other would be in it. Those girls would probably laugh at how long it had taken Paige and Azzi to figure out what had seemed so simple back then. 
“Yeah, yeah it was. Do you remember what you wished for?” Azzi asks, smiling when Paige nods, “do you wanna know what I wished for?”
“What did you wish for Az?”
“Before we saw the star you- you said it’d be nice to win a championship together someday. And so I-,” Azzi looks down shyly, “so I wished for someday. I wished for today.”
Paige stares at Azzi, drinking in the sincerity on the shooting guard’s face, silently letting herself absorb the meaning of Azzi’s words. And then she lets out a laugh because of course of course. 
“I didn’t realise I’d said anything funny for you to be laughing at me,” Azzi scrunches her nose, looking slightly offended. 
“God baby no,” Paige cups Azzi’s face, and she thinks this smile on her face will last forever as long as this is her reality, “I’m not laughing at you. I just- do you know what I wished for?” 
Azzi shakes her head. 
“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”
It’s not quite the shade of blue Paige had imagined them in, the Lynx blue its own shade, something inbetween UConn’s navy one and UCLA’s sky one. But it’s perfect nonetheless. And when Azzi crashes her lips against Paige’s, someday feels a lot like forever and always.
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themareverine · 3 months ago
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Top Eight | worst!Logan x namelessfem!OC
warnings: mentions of sex, body insecurity, weightloss, confidence issues, domestic bliss and fluff, namelessOC has blue eyes.
a/n: in celebration of me discovering I've dropped eleven frickin' pounds off the BMI chart, I decided to share the news with Logan, and yourself. please enjoy my domestic fantasy. this really isn’t a drabble but I’m classifying it as such.
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There’s little better God has created in the world than coming home to a house alive with music, laughs, and the thick swirl of joy chasing the air. Fall hangs out the window in a tapestry of orange leaves, skittering to the ground on chill winds, cluttering the sidewalk like ill-fitting, everyone’s-a-little-different puzzle pieces.
Blankets of fog have hung in the air every morning. Leaves and grass are wet, burdened with thick, cold mud that stings—the type of cold that sinks all the way down to bone, should you be standing between it. And Logan tries to remember a time when, as a child, he didn’t care about the frigid mud between his toes—didn’t mind the mess, innocence of childhood wrapped up in exploration and whimsy.
Simpler times. Suburban life greets him at the door of what, at one point in his life, would be knife’s edge unfathomable—a duplex. Butter yellow with little white trim around the windows. Big oaks in the front and back yard, primly divided by white privacy fences so tall they challenge heaven. Summer had proudly boasted a colorful troop of flowers in that window box facing the street, the one that allows for the smallest peek into his small kingdom, if you looked hard enough. Prepared for winter, adirondack chairs have been swept away into the garage, all traces of outside living shut up for the Goliath of winter that looms with each passing day. 
The corner of his mouth tips up at the arrangement proudly displayed on the front door. It’s Fall Y’all! hangs in his face, all domesticity. Glitter and pumpkins, a cute little red-and-white-pickup. Evidence of a woman’s touch, more and more. Bearing down on his life like Egyptians chariots forcing Moses against the sea, every day he approaches the house— there’s a little more charm. A little more whimsy, order. More color and life and more her, all things he never in his longest, maddest dreams would begin thinking were missing from him. But now they are so familiar, such welcome soldiers to his little army of living, that he can’t imagine going without. 
And Logan will never not love the fact he doesn’t have to knock on this door. He opens it, twisting the knob that’s cool against the thick callouse of his hand. Jacket heavily draped over his arm, habit knocks his boots against the doorframe, adding to the collection of scuffs already there from the hundred other times he’s done this same thing. And it is the same come-home routine, but he doesn’t mind. Shake his head at whatever seasonal decor greets him on the door. Slip in, knock his boots. Hang his jacket on the hook behind the door, with his keys–next to hers. Because she’s been home all day, working on that frickin’ computer, making her little creative world run in the little ways she does that he’ll never understand. 
About to shed his vest, Logan pauses. Claws on wooden floors from the 50s flick his attention down, to his feet. The ménage à trois of three scampering sets of paws tip up the corner of his mouth into a small smirk, watching the troop of hair, wagging tail and slobber all bull rushing him like cannonballs. And they are not small creatures, by any stretch—a bloodhound. St. Bernard. Doberman, all looking at him with bright eyes as if he’s the best thing they’ve seen all day. 
Which is the farthest thing from true, because she’s been here. Locked up in his Fort Knox all hours of sunshine, doing all the things he’d give his right arm to spend his days doing with her. Domestic bliss. It’s sick, really—kinda insane. For a man who has prided himself the last 200 years on destruction, a man who has traveled through time to claim a world that isn’t his, it’s disturbing that this idea of life is so…saccharine. Perfect. Eden. 
Scratching behind each set of ears, movement in the heart of the house triggers his gaze up. Down the corridor to the kitchen, where he cal all but taste what’s for dinner. It floods him with a warmth he can’t quite put a finger on, rousts something in his guts that is good. Fire that’s delicious, heat that promises. Standing, he manages off his boots, all three canines looking at him. Expressions cocked, they wait. Expectantly. 
“Where is she, fellas? Mama ‘round somewhere, huh?” A flick of his hand beyond them sends the troop off like a shot—slipping and sliding on the pretty rugs she’s laid out in the foyer, sending them against the walls in fat piles of fabric that makes his eyes roll. On socked feet, he fixes them. She likes them pretty and neat, and if she likes it, well—whatever his girlie wants, she gets. 
About to call for her, he doesn’t expect the slingshot of curl that attacks him from the front room, “Hi, babe!” Out the french doors like a racehorse, her girlish smile and bright eyes assault him less than seriously, bouncing laughter loud and fresh and strong, like mountains on an open-sky day. Very suddenly the events of his day are improved, work all but forgotten as she wraps her arms around his middle. Rests her chin against his chest, looking up at him with the full weight of the universe hanging in her eyes. In heartbeats, she manages to change another Thursday into the Thursday—the Thursday to challenge all others even known to his existence.  
And since he’s known her, that’s what she is–changing. A fresh wind, moving clouds and rearranging the sky. Rivers that carry him away to faraway lands, anywhere that isn’t the onyx abyss of his memories, which are so black and white and unalive without her. His hand moves to run fingers through curl, which are still damp from a late-afternoon shower. Color that lingers on her cheeks matches that barely-there smattering of that vanilla protein powder she loves on her lips when he kisses her. Means one thing, his favorite thing—the thing they’d been doing for nearly six months. 
Greeting her with a smile and a, “Hey, baby,” will never tire to infinity. Leaning back against his arms cradled around her midsection, pressing her close, Logan all but craves the sparkle of sapphire hanging out in her eyes. They catch his, holding him hostage—every day he has to rediscover how to breathe. Think, move past the ache in his cock that she somehow manages to produce at a subliminally level just by existing. 
And his lips part to ask her about her day, another part of this thing they call life. Until she reaches around to the back pocket of her jeans, her favorites, the one’s she won’t stop wearing and has at least three extras squirreled-away to that spot in the closet they don’t speak of. That spot next to the neon-colored heels he knows she thrifted but hasn’t ever shared, the lingerie she’s holding onto that’s been driving him itchin’ mad since he’d peeked at it. And while he adores everything about her, her ability to wait for just the right moment to share things she’s excited about has to be one of his favorite things on the planet. 
“So, before you speak,” her finger comes to press against the seal of his lips, other hand proudly producing a folded square of paperwork between her index and middle finger, “I have amazing news. The biggest news–the best news of the whole week.” Her brows bounce, emphasizing her excitement as her low lip curls in. Logan watches her bite the inside of her cheek, thinks it’s just about the sexiest thing in the world aside from the little scrunch of her nose, how her glasses sit a little lopsided from where she’s rested her forehead against his chest. 
Really all he could use right now is another taste of her to make his week, but, he plays the adjective game. “Oh yeah?” A chuckle rattles the adamantium of his ribs as she steps out of his arms, takes his hand to guide him into the kitchen. She releases him only when her socked feet hit the wooden floor, making a show of sliding to a stop opposite the island from him. 
Babytalking the dogs at her feet, his sweet little thing of a girl backs up against the sink, her tongue teasing the front of her bottom teeth as she unfolds the paper. It’s like magnetism, the way he wants her–he’s drawn, like creatures to fire, around the island. To her side. Touching her, breathing in her closeness. And he prays to God it will always be like this—he’ll always want her, she’ll always look at him like he has been carved from bronze. That this little life in Hoboken, New Jersey, never says die. 
“I had a doctor’s appointment today,” the little lilt in her tone is so clear, they’d hear it from Mars if anyone had the brains to listen, “and, I just have to say this, Logan—really. This has to be like, a top eight life moment for me, what I’m about to tell you.” Playing with a dog-eared corner of the paper, her eyes flick up to hold his in limbo, again. Smiling eyes have all but chiseled away any remaining stone of his heart, and he’d gladly carve whatever may remain out of his own ribs and give it to her, should she ask, “And I’ll say this as a warning. If you aren’t nearly as excited about this as me, well—I’ll be forced to divorce you and move in with Wade and Althea.” 
And he laughs at her. His single favorite quality of life since running into what’s-his-face-pool and saving this realm has been the rediscovery of laughing, of feeling beyond the numbness. She made him laugh the day he found her, discovered her like some fool digging around the dirt of the everyday, and she hadn’t stopped. And Logan Howlett has never taken pride in being a hardass, but—his ass is a little less hard, these days. How could it be. Her standing there, looking like she does? Wanting him, seeking him? Him? The damn Wolverine—the worst Wolverine. 
His brow pops to attention. “Is that right?” His finger crooks one of her belthoops, tugging her hip against his gently, “a little harsh, but, I accept your terms, taskmaster.” Her eyes roll to the ceiling and his chin gestures to the paper. After a second of weighing her words, he snags her chin between his fingers and gives her a Really? expression. “Hold the fuckin’ phone—a top eight? You have a top eight list of life events?” He snorts, “And I didn’t know about it?” 
Her eyes flash with brazen darkness enough to shame the witching hour. A firm nod, even between his fingers. Her hip pops out, just a little. “Mhm, eight.” Still holding the paper, she offers a blatantly over dramatic look of desire, her head tipping back just a little as she brushes close. Done-up nails gently graze through his facial hair, before she flashes him eight—a palm, thumb and index finger somehow still managing to hold the paper keeping him in suspense. 
Beginning to tick off fingers, he listens with amusement. Driver’s license, college. Her first publication as a freelancer. Her first car payment. Paying off her student debt, meeting her idol, Charles Xavier, a man who’s work on mutant and human coalitions she’d been devouring since forever. Meeting him, marrying him and buying a house. Technically that was nine, but, she explained—a bunch of life events landed under the Logan tab, which made him chuckle and shake his head. 
“Finished?” He nods to the paper again. “You gonna tell me this life changing, top-eight news or what?” For a second his heart does an all-stop as she nods, the corner of her lip tucking in under her teeth.
From here Logan can taste the adrenaline in her blood, the joy—the buzz of something pumping through her like a pistoning locomotive, charting new territories. And before he can think, before he can bridle his own wagging tongue, “You pregnant, darlin’?” punches off his tongue like a cage fighter.  
Two things he should’ve known off the shot—pregnancy announcements usually involved a piss stick, not paper. Two, that something so mountainous would not have waited for him to breeze through the door. Not her style, not by a country mile—she’d stopped off at his job site with lunch just to announce the last payment on her student debt, complete with cheesecake and those cute little pocket bottles of Jack Daniels. She made a big deal out of everything, and he wouldn’t have –could not survive– it any other damn way. 
Slackjaw, for a second he thinks the hinge of her jaw might start swinging before she hauls off to slap his shoulder, the rings on her fingers passing by in a blur of turquoises, yellows, oranges and silvers as a squealing, “Logan!” shoots out of her like the fountain of youth—makes him laugh, again, as he grabs her hand in his and hauls to his lips. Presses a kiss to the heel of her palm, “No, Wolvie—haven’t managed to knocked me up quite yet, thanking you.” And that name—it punches the wind right out of his lungs, sends every ounce of mutant fucking blood right to his cock, all at once. 
It’s not a serious thanks, he knows. Been off-the-cuff talking about getting pregant for a handful of months, tossing the idea back and forth. It was the reason behind the duplex, family planning—and he hadn’t fought the idea of redoing the spare room. Shoving her office into the corner of their suite. It’d been a year, she was thirty, now, had been ringing off these walls like a canyon echo. Biological clock ticking off the walls of her womb, apparently, even though she didn’t fucking age—thanks to mutation, his mutation left behind in her blood a lifetime ago. 
Source of one too many arguments back and forth, they hadn’t quite decided to make an effort not to get pregnant. An ugly IUD hung between them like unscalable Mount Olympus. Hands up in surrender, he tries not to chuckle as she plants the paper in between them, in both hands. Sapphire blues cast down to it, triggering his attention downward as well. A heartbeat before her head pops back up, all smiles and piglet pink cheeks. 
“Guess who just knocked eleven points off the BMI chart?” And there it is.
Certainly a different tone of subject than the one before, Logan can’t help the look of surprise that smacks across his face—she is all but giddy. Pressing the paper to her chest, she rising on toes and begins to bounce, like a rabbit, up and down in a way that springs her hair every direction. Her shrieks of excitement are loud enough to wake the dead, but, he’d have a better time freezing hell over, if he’d wanted to. Spinning in a exuberant circle, the ruckus sends all three of their dogs into the kitchen, bouncing around her like she’s deserving of worship. A goddess. His goddess. 
She’d only been killing herself in their garage gym since they’d bought the place a little over a year ago. Plagued with one of those New Year’s resolutions, she’d committed to exercise like a duck commits to water—and Logan hadn’t ever seen someone try to hard, not in a long time. Never one really faced with the issue of having to maintain physical maintenance, thanks to genetic mutation, a workout regiment hadn’t really ever crossed his mind—natural circumstances kept him lean. He’d been alive for 200 years, could abuse his body any way he wanted, and it just–was. A lucky son of a bitch, but, he’d never paused to consider that it wasn’t that way for everyone else. 
So when she’d all but pleaded for a home gym, he’d folded fast. Like a bad hand. Her body had certainly never been an issue between them—he worshiped every curve, could build monuments how often his mind drifted to just fucking her within an inch of sanity. Each scar, every single solitary divot, right down to the pores on her face. Not magazine beautiful or classically Hollywood, her own admission had almost gutted him. 
A girl-next-door, down-to-earth pretty sent him to pieces in ways that Logan would sooner carve out his open spine than share—she ravaged him. Like a dog, licking at the marrow of his bones. The weight of her eyes alone, cutting through his misgivings, trailblazing his insecurities as a man. She was perfect in every phenomena, every realm and bend of time. Designed for him, by Christ Himself—the most gorgeous fucking thing on two legs, he didn’t need billboards or Vogue or the silver screen to set standard yet untenable to the majority. Determined long ago that there’d never be another for him, that he could never love any other soul–worship anatomy—quite like he did her. 
He’d never complained. Hell thrived with such foolishness. He bought the gym equipment, though, mostly because he knew in the long run, it would be better. If not for him, then for her—he was happy. HEr happiness may as well have been the air his body craved. He’d set up the gym on a weekend, learned to park his Jeep outside. Had learned to help her bandage injuries and balance proteins and carbs, listened to her cry over numbers on a tiny scale that didn’t really matter. But, never complained. 
And Logan had noticed the change about her anatomy—the little definitions of curve, the way she moved. She didn’t always, but he knew—when he held her close, made love to her. Difference, even in its smallest form, was still changing. Lighter on her feet, stronger when it came to helping do whatever it was she determined to assist with. Her clothes fit a little differently, the line of her jaw a little sharper. But, skies above that was her confidence. 
Always had opposed his reserved and calculated stoicism, a spicy little firecracker of a thing that took what she wanted and could talk to fenceposts. But, she’d always sparkled differently. It was like weighing the moon against the sun—she just sparkled better. Moved a little sexier, blazes a little hotter. Not quite the North Star, but a close second—somewhere in his guts he feared she’d wake up one morning, realize she was hot as sin, and leave his ass for what’s-his-face from the Greatest Showman or someone on television. 
Her fingers curl into his arms as she bounces a little more on her toes, pride all but beaming from the pink dusting across the bridge of her nose. “Me, it’s me!” Childlike laughter bubbles out of her like a brook, hot and alive, and he can’t help the swell of pride. “After eight fricking months, it’s me,” she blows out a breath, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, “y’know, honestly, I didn’t think any of it was actually doing all that much—i’ve only dropped thirty pounds on the scale, which doesn’t seem like a lot in eight months, but–you were right, Lo! It turned to muscle, you were right!” 
He nods, smile growing to a painful wide that he isn’t sure is amusement, or pride. “‘Course I was right,” he stresses, his tone low as he dips his head to brush his nose against the end of hers. Smiling into the kiss she presses to his mouth, he lifts an arm into flex before grabbing her chin between his fingers and taking her full attention, “Don’t get definition like this not knowin’ what you’re talking about, baby.” Lies. Teasing lies. He hadn’t so much as thought of a fucking dumbbell since that time before some God-forsaken war. 
Pouty lips pull her eyes back to his, and he can see the muscle in her jaw tick with the effort not to grin. Heartbeats, and his arms snake around her middle again, fingers teasing the hem of her shirt. “I’m proud of you, kid,” and he hasn’t called her that since God knew, likes the way it darkens the little flush on her cheeks. “Guess I’d better work a little harder keeping you close to home. Can’t have you skippin’ out on this whole little domestic thing we’ve got going,” he shrugs a shoulder, “what would the dogs do without you?”
Giggling again, her shoulders pop up and down in a little happy shift, he takes her arms and guides them around his neck, “The dogs, huh? Is that right?” Her nose scrunches up again, eyes snapping to life as she steps onto his toes, enough for him to shuffle them out of the kitchen, towards the living space, “You think I’d leave you just because I get sexy?” It’s not a serious question, the flutter of low lashes testifies as he stops them in the middle of the living room, toes curling into the plush carpet as her head cants to the side, like a curious puppy. “And lose my bet with Wade? Don’t know me at all, do you, Wolverine?” 
God only wishes. He knew parts of her the world would never. And he smiles, snorting a little at the thought of their entire relationship hinging on a bet with Wilson, the fucking idiot he is. That feels like a lifetime ago, riding life out in a dingy apartment. Blind Al as company, Wilson as a fucking landlord. If he counted back every red cent he’d paid in rent, it wouldn’t be enough for a grocery run—small mercies. Lifting a hand between them, he crooks a finger, chuckling as she eyeballs it for a second, weighing her options. 
“I like to think I do,” and he does. She’s given him everything. And if she hasn’t—well. He can fix that. “You don’t got any secrets left, do you, darlin’? You’ve already seen my soul—only fair you let me see yours.” Tipping her chin up, he kisses her slowly. Angles his head for whatever depth he can pull her from, keens a little when her breathy moan chases the heat lighting up his adamantium skeleton like an inferno. Tasting the trace of that fucking protein mess on her tongue nearly brings him to his knees, fingers carding through her hair for as much purchase and possession he can find. 
“I do have one,” she manages, a little breathless between nipping at his bottom lip and fighting with the buckle of his belt. With a Jezebel shove of her hand, she sends him down to the cushions of the couch—it protests, accepting his weight.
From beneath low lashes, her ocean blues trace the details of his face as she knees onto the couch, swings a leg over him. Pelvis to pelvis, her weight is divine. Lights him up like a damn electric wire. He can feel heat in his chest chasing after the adrenaline in his blood, can taste her, even from here. 
Grabbing the front of her t-shirt between two fingers, he tugs her a little closer. 
“What’s that?” 
She chuckles, shifting a flirty shoulder. “My IUD? Gone,” she snaps her fingers, biting the corner of her lower lip. Eyes cutting to his mouth, she doesn’t hesitate–a heartbeat and she’s kissing him deeply, milking every little ache and moan creeping up the back of his throat. She sighs a little when his hand presses against her womb, thumb tracing the gentle spot beneath her belly button. “How’s that make you feel, Wolvie honey?” A light, flustered chuckle as he tucks hair behind her ear, rubs a curl between his fingers.
“Think you can handle a mini you making a mess of the world?” 
Knocking his head back over the edge of the couch, his hands find her waist. Stills her before he closes his eyes, relishes the way she lathes her tongue along his pulse. And he’ll never know how it really makes him feel, because feeling is all but a rush of adrenaline when it comes to her—everything and nothing, a floating abyss of pleasure and home that, from the beginning of time, man has tried to describe. It’s all wrapped up in limbo, though–limbo and his ribs, jeans and a pretty face. 
 “Not sure,” his hand tucks behind her head and he flips them, forcing her into the couch before she can protest—before she and her eleven-points-off-the-chart can challenge any idea other than what he’s about to do to her.
“”Think we should find out, darlin’.”
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tags: @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @fandomxo00
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novlr · 2 years ago
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How to write the cold
The way we feel cold is universal, but the way we contextualise it is not. Cold has a variety of connotations for readers, so it's important to decide how to use it, and what mood you want to convey in your scene.
While cold is often associated with negative aspects in writing, if there's anything the winter season teaches us, is that it can be a positive thing as well. Rather than just using the word cold, in your next writing project, try to contextualise it. Describe the weather, the light on the snow, the comfort of warmth after an icy swim, or the fear and loneliness of the dark on a cold night.
Here are our quick tips on how to write the cold:
In nature
Clean mountain air
Glittering ice crystals
Unique wildlife, like snow hares or polar bears
Snow muffled sounds
Steam rising from hot springs
Icy water in rivers and lakes
Overcast and rainy
Bright sun on fresh snow
Icebergs, glaciers, and ice floes
Storms and blizzards
Branches moving and creaking
Frozen ponds
Morning frost on grass
Snowdrops pushing through snowdrifts
Crisp and clear night skies
Wolves howling in the dark
Bare branches scraping against windows
Eerie shadows
Foods and objects
The scent of cinnamon and nutmeg
Heavy winter coats and scarves
Rich, hot meals with lots of gravy
Tea or coffee left out too long
Ice-cream, sorbets, or ice-lollies
Metal that is cold to the touch (like pots and pans or door handles)
Cold beverages straight out of the fridge
An icy bath
Freezer trucks or walk-in refrigerators
Dry ice
Crisp, fresh sheets on cold nights
Ice sculptures
A tap with a drip that freezes in place
Frozen celebratory drinks (like daiquiris)
A single cube of ice floating in a whisky glass
A cold pack for an injury
Character moods
Isolated
Lonely
Aloof
Sad
Comfortable
Snuggly
Focused
Panicked
Indifferent
A lack of affection
Calm and calculated
Disengaged
Serene
Depressed
Awestruck
Anxious
Reverent
Melancholy
Nostalgic
Impatient
Frustrated
Reflective
Character body language
Hunched shoulders
Crossed arms
Shivering
Snuggling into something warm
Rub hands together for warmth
Tight or strained expression
Biting dry lips
Furrowing brow
Glaring against brightness
Tense and rigid stance
Stand close to others
Slow, deliberate steps
Move quickly to somewhere warm
Sitting relaxed in a warm space
Actions and events
Start a fire or build a shelter
Winter hikes
Outdoor activities like skating, skiing, or sledding
Traffic jams or snowed in cars
Frozen lakes cracking underfoot
Dodging icicles falling from rooftops
Going ice-fishing
Long sea voyages
Frostbite
Suffering from a cold, the flu, or pneumonia
Brainfreeze
Snuggling under a warm duvet
Sipping from a steaming hot drink for comfort
Cold-water swimming
Walking to work in the rain
Christmas in the Northern Hemisphere
Chrismas in July in the Southern Hemisphere
Reading a good book by the fire while it snows outside
Positive aspects
While cold is often associated with negative emotions, using it as a juxtaposition can often help to accentuate the positive feelings you want to convey.
If it's cold outside, a character enjoying a hot chocolate under their duvet will give a much more positive impression than if they were simply staying in bed.
The beauty of the natural world in winter, like snow, ice, and winter foliage can also be used to create a scene of happiness and wonder.
Negative aspects
Cold is often used to describe characters who are emotionally detached, calculating, or generally unfeeling. It's become an easy way to clue your readers in to how they're meant to feel about your character.
There are also more creative ways to use the cold, however, like describing the disappointment of forgetting about a hot drink you put down somewhere and only remembering when it's already gone cold, or the feeling of shock after you first step out of a warm shower.
Helpful synonyms
chilly
frigid
icy
wintry
frosty
cool
nippy
freezing
glacial
brisk
chilled
cool
polar
bitter
snowy
raw
refrigerated
arctic
rimy
draughty
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agirlwithglam · 8 months ago
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TEENAGE SUMMER (12-16yo)
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so summer has finally arrived and school has ended. and ofc, we want that hot girl summer with the perfect body, mindset, habits, holidays, and a great time in general but what if we have sorta strict parents who are just.. parents. so here are some tips to have your dream summer and glow up but also make it family/ teenage friendly!
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GLOW UP:
external glow up tips:
numero uno: WORKOUT. yes, ofc this is on here, what did u think? work.out. decide why u wanna workout first: healthy body? dream body? abs? being stronger? for happiness? for fun? then, you can find a workout on youtube / pinterest for the one you want. (also what i love doing is the workouts on pinterest where its related to a tv show- or just search up [movie/ show name] workout)
smell nice! perfume, scented shampoos/ body scrubs, etc.
SUNSCREEN. trust me, u DO want to put it on.
skincare! moisturiser, lip gloss/ lip balm, exfoliation, etc.
put cold spoons under your eyes in the morning to reduce puffiness.
u dont like something? fix it! i didn't like my teeth for a while, so i got braces. you can't fix it? stop worrying about it and just give it to god cus u got better things to do
MANIFESTING:
affirmations!! affirmations in the mirror, listening to them, repeating them, thinking them, they helped me SO much!
Believe you’re hot. As simple as that.
Visualisation. Imagine people giving you compliments and staring at you all day long
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internal glow up tips:
confidence. duhhhh! heres a guide to self love& confidence
abundance mindset. everything works out in YOUR favour.
detachment. stop taking shite so seriously. honestly, if someones hating on you then pity them or laugh then move on. like ur too busy to spend even a second of your day to make someone feel bad about themselves or argue about something pointless.
keep learning! educate yourself, expand your knowledge and your mind.
HAPPINESS. the real glow up starts when you're genuinely happy with who you are and where you are. be a light, carefree, bubbly girl but also remember to set standards and boundaries. when you're just genuinely happy, life truly does start to get better.
hotness is a mindset.
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other tips:
channel your little kid energy
take a bunch of photos! (at the end you'll basically have a pretty summer mood board)
don't be on your phone all the time. try to ✨socialise✨ your time on earth is limited don't waste it on crusty, unhot stuff. ur parents will thank you for this as well
romanticise it. (laugh. smile. wear nice clothes, talk to people, get lost in a daydream. appreciate the beauty in stuff. even if its just a sofa.)
be positive. quit complaining. be happy and focus on what you have. spread love and happiness! you're privileged and you are a privilege. act like ittt!
stay present minded. live here, now.
listen to groovy, aesthetic-themes music. to get u into the moooddd!
become a better person. a better daughter/ son, sibling, friend, person in general.
GET OUTSIDEEEE!!!! TOUCH SOME GRASS. its sunny, its summer, why tf r u staying indoors????
sleep girl. sleep. just because you don't have to wake up early tomorrow, does not mean you can stay up till 2am watching netflix. sleep makes your skin glow, makes you look prettier, makes you happier and 10000 more benefits. so sleep.
channel your creativity! (paint, draw, sketch, write, poetry, music, etc.)
play. you're still young!! have fun and do silly and embarrassing things while you still can!!!!!!!
create a summer mood board!
channel a certain era- barbie summer, blair waldorf summer, hot girl summer, etc.
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bucket list ideas:
go to a park
redecorate your room
spa day (w friends)
girl slumber parties! (face masks, girlie things, movies)
volunteer somewhere
beach day!
write letters and kiss them (like those pretty pinterest summer!)
go biking (i love doing it in the mornings)
bake! (cakeeee)
get back into some old hobbies (childhood nostalgia)
gardening. care for a plant (then talk to it when you feel sad ur won't be insane i promise)
look at the sunrise / sunset
read dude. just read and romanticise it with a pretty comfy space
make a goal. then work on it so hard that you get it!
learn something new (for me i rly wanna learn crochetting)
scrap booking
do a workout with friends
video diary!! (film everythinggg)
make jewellery (u can sell them after if u want. also there are tons of jewellery making kits on amazon or toys r'us!)
donate / sell stuff (like books and toys)
flower press (with printer tho)
dance with your friends
wear jewellery!! summer necklaces, bracelets, etc!
go for walks (w friends)
get your nails done. (you don't have to go out to get them done. you can do it yourself. i dont have nail polish but my friend does so we love putting it on together)
make some new friends! (join clubs, visit new places, talk to people, join classes,)
go to the beach
"what makes life so beautiful is the fact that it ends"
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bitchstrologyyy · 2 years ago
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astrology observations from my notes lol
- if you have mars in 3H, you probably hang out with your siblings a lot or your siblings play a big role in your life
- mars 3hers also tend to be the eldest child in their family too
- is it just me or have i noticed that venus-ruled signs (libra and taurus) placements are the type to bring perfumes, small hair combs, gum, and etc with them? i’ve noticed this alot with the libra and taurus suns at my school, ESPECIALLY LIBRAS! they’re always taking care of themselves, and they care a lot about their physical appearance
- those with aries + taurus placements in their charts tend to be apart of the lgbtq+ community, or they’re comfortable with their sexualities
- negative moon-pluto (square, opposition) indicate a controlling, obsessive, unstable or mentally ill mother. the mother could’ve been secretive or prone to paranoia. especially moon square pluto!!
- negative sun-pluto (square, opposition) indicate problems with father or in the family
- virgos make amazing artists and writers. they also have a “dark” way of thinking— stephen king, tim burton, hajime isayama. very creative people
- if you’re an aries sun or have aries placements, you may like the blood aesthetic or the idea of ‘blood’ because mars rules ur sign. mars rules war, blood, anger, sex, energy, and action
- aries moons don’t get mad easily, and i feel like they’re very levelheaded when it comes to difficult situations. it takes a lot for them to get mad usually. HOWEVER they get irritated/annoyed over trivial things easily. for example, they’re trying to microwave food but the microwave isn’t working and they get mad ;-;
- taurus-scorpio axis means being materialistic and wanting things from other people/befriending other people if YOU get something out of it
- aquarius men tend to be incels, or they go through this yucky phase where they are incels 🤢
- aquariuses are on the internet too much lol pls go touch grass ty
- sagittarius placements tend to be mixed or there’s smth “exotic” abt you
- people love shit talking about leo women even if a leo woman has done nothing
- tw: autism, neurodivergence (?) im not trying to diagnose anyone or anything, but i’ve noticed that virgos tend to be neurodivergent or they’re more inclined to having autism. they might’ve had a family member who was on the spectrum as well
- scorpios are MAGNETIC. they attract a lot of people and have w rizz game
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these are my personal opinions/observations btw
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