#creativity between teaching

[ratatatastic]

He looks so different with glasses 😂 did not recognize him at first

terribly funny how much more generic he can get with a thick frame of raybans like ive always believed the whole glasses as a disguise would never work irl but i got punked so hard that when i first saw him in glasses i was like "oh another man" glossed over him then felt the same sensation as when i forget to buy milk at the store, swiped back, scrutinised this for far longer than im comfortable admitting publicly and went "oh my god THATS MY MAN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

[thedoubteriswise]

not to increasingly become the devil's advocate about a bunch of annoying shit in my old age but I just saw that one post criticizing the practice of teaching children to color neatly inside the lines, and you know. I agree that artistic conformity is not a thing you want to encourage, but we understand that the reason for doing things like that is usually because we're teaching fine motor skills, right. the point of art activities that don't seem to be very creative is to give you practice actually manipulating a crayon or paintbrush or pair of scissors so that you can make weird shit with precision and intent instead of being limited to whatever your low level of skill allows. do you complain about older art students being asked to do a bunch of repetitive anatomy and shading studies. well actually some of you probably do but you get my point

[insipid-drivel]

Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap

I'm going to go ahead and preface this with: I comment pretty regularly on clips and photos featuring horses and horseback riding, often answering questions or providing explanations for how or why certain things are done. I was a stable hand and barrel racer growing up, and during my 11 year tenure on tumblr, Professional Horse Commentary is a very niche, yet very necessary, subject that needs filling. Here are some of the literary and creative gaps I've noticed in well meaning (and very good!) creators trying to portray horses and riding realistically that... well, most of you don't seem to even be aware of, because you wouldn't know unless you worked with horses directly!

Some Of The Most Common Horse + Riding Mistakes I See:

-Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before.

Nope. No, no, no, no, aaaaaaaand, no. Horseback riding has, historically, been treated as a life skill taught from surprisingly young ages. It wasn't unusual in the pre-vehicular eras to start teaching children as young as 4 to begin to ride, because horses don't come with airbags, and every horse is different. For most adults, it can take months or years of regular lessons to learn to ride well in the saddle, and that's just riding; not working or practicing a sport.

Furthermore, horses often reject riders they don't know. Unless a horse has been trained like a teaching horse, which is taught to tolerate riders of all skill and experience levels, it will take extreme issue with having some random person try to climb on their back. Royalty, nobility, and the knighted classes are commonly associated with the "having a favorite special horse" trope, because it's true! Just like you can have a particularly special bond with a pet or service animal that verges on parental, the same can apply with horses. Happy horses love their owners/riders, and will straight-up do their best to murder anyone that tries to ride them without permission.

-Horses are stupid/have no personality.

There isn't a more dangerous assumption to make than assuming a horse is stupid. Every horse has a unique personality, with traits that can be consistent between breeds (again, like cat and dog breeds often have distinct behavior traits associated with them), but those traits manifest differently from animal to animal.

My mother had an Arabian horse, Zipper, that hated being kicked as a signal to gallop. One day, her mom and stepdad had a particularly unpleasant visitor; an older gentleman that insisted on riding Zipper, but refused to listen to my mother's warnings never to kick him. "Kicking" constitutes hitting the horse's side(s) with your heels, whether you have spurs on or not. Most horses only need a gentle squeeze to know what you want them to do.

Anyway, Zipper made eye-contact with my mom, asking for permission. He understood what she meant when she nodded at him. He proceeded to give this asshole of a rider road rash on the side of the paddock fence and sent him to the emergency room. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't have the permission from the rider he respected, and was intelligent enough to ask, "mind if I teach this guy a lesson?" with his eyes, and understand, "Go for it, buddy," from my mom in return.

-Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight.

Riding a horse bareback (with no saddle, stirrups, or traditional harness around the horse's head) is unbelievably difficult to learn, particularly have testicles and value keeping them. Even professional riders and equestrians find ourselves relying on tack (the stuff you put on a horse to ride it) to stay stable on our horses, even if we've been riding that particular horse for years and have a very positive, trusting relationship.

Horses sweat like people do. The more they run, the more their hair saturates with sweat and makes staying seated on them slippery. Hell, an overworked horse can sweat so heavily that the saddle slips off its back. It's also essential to brush and bathe a horse before it's ridden in order to keep it healthier, so their hair is often quite slick from either being very clean or very damp. In order to ride like that, you have to develop the ability to synchronize your entire body's rhythm's with the rhythm of the horse's body beneath you, and quite literally move as one. Without stirrups, most people can't do it, and some people can never master bareback riding no matter how many years they spend trying to learn.

-You can be distracted and make casual conversation while a horse is standing untethered in the middle of a barn or field.

At every barn I've ever worked at, it's been standard practice with every single horse, regardless of age or temperament, to secure their heads while they're being tacked up or tacked down. The secures for doing this are simple ropes with clips that are designed to attach to the horse's halter (the headwear for a horse that isn't being ridden; they have no bit that goes in the horse's mouth, and no reins for a rider to hold) on metal O rings on either side of the horse's head. This is not distressing to the horse, because we give them plenty of slack to turn their heads and look around comfortably.

The problem with trying to tack up an unrestrained horse while chatting with fellow stable hands or riders is that horses know when you're distracted! And they often try to get away with stuff when they know you're not looking! In a barn, a horse often knows where the food is stored, and will often try to tiptoe off to sneak into the feed room.

Horses that get into the feed room are often at a high risk of dying. While extremely intelligent, they don't have the ability to throw up, and they don't have the ability to tell that their stomach is full and should stop eating. Allowing a horse into a feed/grain room WILL allow it to eat itself to death.

Other common woes stable hands and riders deal with when trying to handle a horse with an unrestrained head is getting bitten! Horses express affection between members of their own herd, and those they consider friends and family, through nibbling and surprisingly rough biting. It's not called "horseplay" for nothing, because during my years working with horses out in the pasture, it wasn't uncommon at all for me to find individuals with bloody bite marks on their withers (that high part on the middle of the back of their shoulders most people instinctively reach for when they try to get up), and on their backsides. I've been love-bitten by horses before, and while flattering, they hurt like hell on fleshy human skin.

So, for the safety of the horse, and everybody else, always make a show of somehow controlling the animal's head when hands-on and on the ground with them.

-Big Horse = War Horse

Startlingly, the opposite is usually the case! Draft and carriage horses, like Percherons and Friesians, were never meant to be used in warfare. Draft horses are usually bred to be extremely even-tempered, hard to spook, and trustworthy around small children and animals. Historically, they're the tractors of the farm if you could afford to upgrade from oxen, and were never built to be fast or agile in a battlefield situation.

More importantly, just because a horse is imposing and huge doesn't make it a good candidate for carrying heavy weights. A real thing that I had to be part of enforcing when I worked at a teaching ranch was a weight limit. Yeah, it felt shitty to tell people they couldn't ride because we didn't have any horses strong enough to carry them due to their weight, but it's a matter of the animal's safety. A big/tall/chonky horse is more likely to be built to pull heavy loads, but not carry them flat on their spines. Horses' muscular power is predominantly in their ability to run and pull things, and too heavy a rider can literally break a horse's spine and force us to euthanize it.

Some of the best war horses out there are from the "hot blood" family. Hot blooded horses are often from dry, hot, arid climates, are very small and slight (such as Arabian horses), and are notoriously fickle and flighty. They're also a lot more likely to paw/bite/kick when spooked, and have even sometimes been historically trained to fight alongside their rider if their rider is dismounted in combat; kicking and rearing to keep other soldiers at a distance.

-Any horse can be ridden if it likes you enough.

Just like it can take a lifetime to learn to ride easily, it can take a lifetime of training for a horse to comfortably take to being ridden or taking part in a job, like pulling a carriage. Much like service animals, horses are typically trained from extremely young ages to be reared into the job that's given to them, and an adult horse with no experience carrying a rider is going to be just as scared as a rider who's never actually ridden a horse.

Just as well, the process of tacking up a horse isn't always the most comfortable experience for the horse. To keep the saddle centered on the horse's back when moving at rough or fast paces, it's essential to tighten the belly strap (cinch) of the saddle as tightly as possible around the horse's belly. For the horse, it's like wearing a tight corset, chafes, and even leaves indents in their skin afterward that they love having rinsed with water and scratched. Some horses will learn to inflate their bellies while you're tightening the cinch so you can't get it as tight as it needs to be, and then exhale when they think you're done tightening it.

When you're working with a horse wearing a bridle, especially one with a bit, it can be a shocking sensory experience to a horse that's never used a bit before. While they lack a set of teeth naturally, so the bit doesn't actually hurt them, imagine having a metal rod shoved in your mouth horizontally! Unless you understand why it's important for the person you care about not dying, you'd be pretty pissed about having to keep it in there!

-Horseback riding isn't exercise.

If you're not using every muscle in your body to ride with, you're not doing it right.

Riding requires every ounce of muscle control you have in your entire body - although this doesn't mean it wasn't realistic for people with fat bodies to stay their weight while also being avid riders; it doesn't mean the muscles aren't there. To stay on the horse, you need to learn how it feels when it moves at different gaits (walk, trot, canter, gallop), how to instruct it to switch leads (dominant legs; essential for precise turning and ease of communication between you and the horse), and not falling off. While good riders look like they're barely moving at all, that's only because they're good riders. They know how to move so seamlessly with the horse, feeling their movements like their own, that they can compensate with their legs and waists to not bounce out of the saddle altogether or slide off to one side. I guarantee if you ride a horse longer than 30 minutes for the first time, your legs alone will barely work and feel like rubber.

-Horses aren't affectionate.

Horses are extraordinarily affectionate toward the right people. As prey animals, they're usually wary of people they don't know, or have only recently met. They also - again, like service animals - have a "work mode" and a "casual mode" depending upon what they're doing at the time. Horses will give kisses like puppies, wiggle their upper lips on your hair/arms to groom you, lean into neck-hugs, and even cuddle in their pasture or stall if it's time to nap and you join them by leaning against their sides. If they see you coming up from afar and are excited to see you, they'll whinny and squeal while galloping to meet you at the gate. They'll deliberately swat you with their tails to tease you, and will often follow you around the pasture if they're allowed to regardless of what you're up to.

-Riding crops are cruel.

Only cruel people use riding crops to hurt their horses. Spurs? I personally object to, because any horse that knows you well doesn't need something sharp jabbing them in the side for emphasis when you're trying to tell them where you want them to go. Crops? Are genuinely harmless tools used for signalling a horse.

I mean, think about it. Why would crops be inherently cruel instruments if you need to trust a horse not to be afraid of you and throw you off when you're riding it?

Crops are best used just to lightly tap on the left or right flank of the horse, and aren't universally used with all forms of riding. You'll mainly see crops used with English riding, and they're just tools for communicating with the horse without needing to speak.

-There's only one way to ride a horse.

Not. At. All. At most teaching ranches, you'll get two options: Western, or English, because they tend to be the most popular for shows and also the most common to find equipment for. English riding uses a thinner, smaller saddle, narrower stirrups, and much thinner bridles. I, personally, didn't like English style riding because I never felt very stable in such a thin saddle with such small stirrups, and didn't start learning until my mid teens. English style riding tends to focus more on your posture and deportment in the saddle, and your ability to show off your stability and apparent immovability on the horse. It was generally just a bit too stiff and formal for me.

Western style riding utilizes heavier bridles, bigger saddles (with the iconic horn on the front), and broader stirrups. Like its name may suggest, Western riding is more about figuring out how to be steady in the saddle while going fast and being mobile with your upper body. Western style riding is generally the style preferred for working-type shows, such as horseback archery, gunning, barrel racing, and even rodeo riding.

-Wealthy horse owners have no relationship with their horses.

This is loosely untrue, but I've seen cases where it is. Basically, horses need to feel like they're working for someone that matters to them in order to behave well with a rider and not get impatient or bored. While it's common for people to board horses at off-property ranches (boarding ranches) for cost and space purposes, it's been historically the truth that having help is usually necessary with horses at some point. What matters is who spends the most time with the animal treating it like a living being, rather than a mode of transport or a tool. There's no harm in stable hands handling the daily upkeep; hay bales and water buckets are heavy, and we're there to profit off the labor you don't want or have the time to do. You get up early to go to work; we get up early to look after your horses. Good owners/boarders visit often and spend as much of their spare time as they can with spending quality work and playtime with their horses. Otherwise, the horses look to the stable hands for emotional support and care.

So, maybe you're writing a knight that doesn't really care much for looking after his horse, but his squire is really dedicated to keeping up with it? There's a better chance of the horse having a more affectionate relationship with the squire thanks to the time the squire spends on looking after it, while the horse is more likely to tolerate the knight that owns it as being a source of discipline if it misbehaves. That doesn't mean the knight is its favorite person. When it comes to horses, their love must be earned, and you can only earn it by spending time with them hands-on.

-Horses can graze anywhere without concern.

This is a mistake that results in a lot of premature deaths! A big part of the cost of owning a horse - even before you buy one - is having the property that will be its pasture assessed for poisonous plants, and having those plants removed from being within the animal's reach. This is an essential part of farm upkeep every year, because horses really can't tell what's toxic and what isn't. One of the reasons it's essential to secure a horse when you aren't riding it is to ensure it only has a very limited range to graze on, and it's your responsibility as the owner/rider to know how to identify dangerous plants and keep your horses away from them.

There's probably more. AMA in my askbox if you have any questions, but that's all for now. Happy writing.

[esotericalchemist]

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 - 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 *☾

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

In astrology, Saturn is known as the "Great Teacher" or "Taskmaster." This planet governs discipline, responsibility, and the lessons learned through hard work and perseverance. Saturn's influence often brings challenges, delays, and restrictions, but it also offers the potential for growth, maturity, and wisdom. Saturn teaches us that lasting success is achieved through patience, careful planning, and a deep understanding of our limitations and strengths. While its lessons can be tough, they are ultimately transformative, helping us build a solid foundation for long-term achievements. In this post, I'll explore the general meaning of Saturn in astrology, discuss how to navigate its challenges, and explain where these lessons can lead in terms of personal and spiritual growth.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Aries, it brings together two contrasting energies. Aries, driven by Mars, is all about action, initiative, and a pioneering spirit, while Saturn focuses on discipline, limitations, and patience. These two forces don’t naturally align—Saturn’s cautious, methodical approach can feel at odds with Aries’ impulsive and fast-paced nature. If you have Saturn in Aries, you might find it challenging to assert yourself confidently or feel held back when trying to take initiative. This placement encourages you to find a balance between acting on impulse and planning carefully, teaching you to channel Aries' fiery energy into disciplined and productive efforts.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop patience and self-mastery in expressing your identity and leadership by focusing on building inner confidence through disciplined self-improvement, ultimately resulting in a strong, resilient sense of self that commands respect and authority. 2nd House: The key lesson is to learn financial discipline and align your values with long-term goals by practicing careful financial planning and avoiding impulsive spending, leading to lasting financial stability and a deeper understanding of your values. 3rd House: The focus is on mastering clear and effective communication through precise expression and patient learning, which strengthens your communication skills and fosters solid relationships within your community. 4th House: The lesson involves building emotional security and stability at home by creating a strong, supportive foundation through patience and responsibility, ultimately achieving a secure, nurturing home environment and deep emotional resilience. 5th House: The challenge is to express creativity and love with responsibility and discipline by channeling creative impulses into structured, meaningful projects, which leads to fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and lasting joy in personal relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing discipline in work, health, and daily routines by establishing consistent, healthy habits and a strong work ethic, resulting in success in work and robust health through disciplined daily practices. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and commitment in relationships by building them slowly, focusing on trust and mutual responsibility, which can lead to deep, enduring partnerships based on mutual respect and stability. 8th House: The key is to confront fears around transformation and shared resources by approaching change and intimacy with careful planning and emotional resilience, ultimately leading to empowerment through facing challenges, resulting in deep personal and financial security. 9th House: The lesson involves cultivating a disciplined pursuit of higher knowledge and beliefs by approaching learning and travel with patience and a structured mindset, leading to deep wisdom and strong, well-founded beliefs that guide your life. 10th House: The focus is on achieving career goals through persistent, disciplined effort by building your professional reputation slowly and focusing on long-term success, which results in significant career achievements and a lasting, respected legacy. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and ambitions by building meaningful, stable friendships and pursuing goals with long-term planning, ultimately achieving your aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: The key is to face inner fears and limitations with discipline by engaging in introspection and spiritual practices with patience and commitment, leading to deep spiritual growth and inner peace through overcoming personal challenges.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Taurus, it highlights themes around stability, security, material possessions, and values. Taurus, ruled by Venus, is naturally associated with comfort, luxury, and the enjoyment of earthly pleasures. However, Saturn’s influence introduces a more cautious and disciplined approach to these areas. Achieving the comfort and security that Taurus desires often requires significant hard work, patience, and sustained effort under Saturn’s influence. This placement teaches important lessons about building a solid foundation, managing resources wisely, and adopting a consistent, long-term approach to material and financial matters. Saturn in Taurus challenges you to balance your desire for material wealth and comfort with the need for responsibility, careful planning, and long-term vision.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a stable and grounded sense of self by building your identity on solid values and a patient approach to personal growth, leading to a strong, dependable self-image that others trust and respect. 2nd House: You learn to manage finances and resources with discipline by focusing on building wealth slowly through careful planning and saving, ultimately achieving long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating patience and consistency in communication and learning by approaching education and interactions with a steady, practical mindset, resulting in strong communication skills and reliable, well-developed knowledge. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life by creating a solid emotional and physical foundation for your family, which leads to a deeply rooted sense of security and a harmonious home environment. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love in a stable, consistent manner by channeling your creative talents into enduring projects and cultivating lasting relationships, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creativity and stable, loving relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a consistent routine and disciplined approach to work and health by establishing and maintaining steady habits in your daily life and job, resulting in career success and robust health through a balanced lifestyle. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in partnerships by building relationships on a foundation of trust, loyalty, and long-term commitment, leading to stable, enduring partnerships that bring mutual security and comfort. 8th House: You confront challenges related to shared resources and deep emotional bonds by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and responsibility, leading to empowerment through managing shared resources wisely and achieving emotional stability. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a grounded and practical approach to higher learning and beliefs by pursuing knowledge and spiritual growth with patience and real-world application, resulting in deep wisdom and well-established beliefs that guide your life with stability. 10th House: You achieve career success through persistent, disciplined effort by building your professional life on a foundation of reliability and long-term goals, leading to significant, lasting career achievements and a strong professional reputation. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and long-term goals by pursuing friendships and ambitions with a steady, consistent approach, resulting in the fulfillment of your aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to find stability and security within yourself, even in solitude, by engaging in introspection and spiritual practices with a focus on inner peace and self-sufficiency, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner security that transcends external circumstances.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Gemini, it introduces a disciplined, cautious, and sometimes restrictive energy to the areas of communication, intellect, and adaptability. Gemini, ruled by Mercury, typically thrives on quick thinking, versatility, and the exchange of ideas, but Saturn’s influence tends to slow these processes down, urging you to be more deliberate in your thoughts, communication, and learning. This placement often teaches the value of clear and precise communication, the benefits of structured and methodical thinking, and the necessity of developing patience in both learning and social interactions. Saturn in Gemini challenges you to transform your intellectual skills into something solid and dependable, emphasizing depth and substance over superficiality in all matters related to the mind and communication.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop well-structured, clear self-expression by refining your communication style and presenting yourself with clarity and confidence, leading to a strong, articulate identity that earns respect for its depth and consistency. 2nd House: You learn to communicate your values and manage financial matters with care by approaching finances and self-worth with a practical, well-considered mindset, resulting in financial stability and a secure sense of self rooted in clear values and effective communication. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful communication and learning by taking the time to master communication skills and develop well-organized knowledge, leading to strong, reliable communication abilities and a reputation for being well-informed. 4th House: The lesson involves building a stable, communicative home environment by fostering open and structured communication within your family and creating a mentally stimulating home life, resulting in a secure and intellectually rich home that promotes comfort and growth. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and joy in a disciplined, thoughtful manner by channeling creative energies into structured projects and approaching love and leisure with thoughtful engagement, leading to fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing disciplined communication and adaptability in daily work and health routines by establishing structured work habits and clear communication in the workplace, leading to career success and improved health through well-organized routines. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in communication within partnerships by building relationships on clear, thoughtful communication and mutual respect, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep understanding. 8th House: You confront challenges related to communication about shared resources and deep emotions by approaching sensitive topics with caution and thoughtful communication, leading to empowerment through wise resource management and emotional resilience. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to higher learning and philosophical communication by pursuing knowledge and spiritual growth with patience and clear expression, resulting in deep wisdom and a solid philosophical foundation that guides your life. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined communication and structured intellectual work by building your professional life on clear, organized communication and long-term projects, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for clarity and intellect. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and intellectual pursuits by pursuing friendships and ambitions with consistent communication and a focus on long-term goals, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and intellectually stimulating connections. 12th House: You learn to find mental clarity and discipline in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection and spiritual practices with a focus on structured thinking, leading to deep spiritual growth and inner peace that transcends external distractions.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Cancer, it introduces a disciplined and sometimes restrictive energy to the emotional and nurturing qualities that define this sign. Cancer, governed by the Moon, is deeply connected to emotions, home, family, and a sense of security. Saturn’s presence in this sign can create a tension between the natural inclination for emotional expression and the need for control and stability. This placement often brings important lessons about managing emotions, developing emotional resilience, and finding a sense of security within yourself rather than depending solely on external factors. Saturn in Cancer challenges you to build a strong emotional foundation, emphasizing the importance of responsibility in caring for both yourself and others while navigating the complexities of feelings and attachments.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop emotional resilience and a grounded sense of self-expression by cultivating inner strength and learning to express your emotions with maturity and control, resulting in a strong, stable self-image that balances emotional depth with responsibility. 2nd House: You learn to manage emotional security and financial stability with care by focusing on building a solid financial foundation and nurturing your sense of self-worth, leading to long-term financial security and a deep sense of self rooted in emotional stability. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful emotional communication by approaching interactions with emotional intelligence and care, fostering meaningful connections, and resulting in strong, emotionally intelligent communication skills and reliable relationships. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure, stable home life and managing family responsibilities with care by creating a nurturing, emotionally secure home environment through patience and dedication, leading to a deeply rooted sense of security and a harmonious family life. 5th House: You learn to express love and creativity in a disciplined, emotionally aware manner by channeling your emotional and creative energies into structured, meaningful projects and relationships, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and emotionally rich, stable relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing disciplined emotional routines and a responsible approach to work and health by establishing consistent habits that support both your emotional well-being and physical health, resulting in career success and improved health through emotionally balanced, well-organized routines. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in emotionally charged partnerships by building relationships on a foundation of emotional maturity, trust, and mutual respect, leading to stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep emotional understanding and mutual support. 8th House: You confront emotional fears and challenges related to intimacy and shared resources by approaching deep emotional issues and financial matters with caution and resilience, leading to empowerment through managing these challenges wisely and achieving profound personal growth. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to emotional and philosophical growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with emotional maturity and a focus on deeper understanding, resulting in deep wisdom and a solid emotional foundation that guides your life. 10th House: You achieve career success through emotional discipline and responsible leadership by building your professional life on a foundation of emotional intelligence and long-term planning, leading to significant career achievements and a strong professional reputation for maturity and responsibility. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in emotionally driven social networks and long-term goals by pursuing friendships and ambitions with emotional intelligence and a focus on nurturing supportive connections, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social networks. 12th House: You learn to find emotional security and peace in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on emotional healing and inner stability, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace that transcends external circumstances.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Leo, it introduces a disciplined and sometimes restrictive energy to the self-expressive, creative, and leadership-oriented qualities of this sign. Leo, ruled by the Sun, is naturally associated with confidence, creativity, and a strong desire to lead and be recognized. However, Saturn's influence can make it challenging to express these qualities freely, often teaching important lessons about the responsible use of power, the need for humility, and the value of earning respect through consistent effort rather than simply expecting it. This placement may also bring a sense of caution or hesitation in self-expression, making it essential to develop inner confidence through discipline and perseverance. Saturn in Leo challenges you to balance your desire for recognition with the maturity and responsibility required for true leadership.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop disciplined self-expression and leadership by cultivating confidence through steady personal growth and responsible use of creative energy, leading to a strong, respected presence that combines creativity with maturity and integrity. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and self-worth with care and responsibility by focusing on building financial stability and a secure sense of self through disciplined efforts, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth based on real accomplishments. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and confident communication and creative thinking by approaching learning and communication with patience, ensuring your ideas are expressed clearly and confidently, which leads to strong communication skills and a reputation for thoughtful, creative expression. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life with responsible leadership within the family by creating a nurturing, supportive environment through disciplined efforts and emotional maturity, leading to a harmonious and respected family life. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love in a disciplined, responsible manner by channeling your creative and romantic energies into structured, meaningful activities and relationships, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support your professional goals and physical well-being, resulting in success in your career and improved health through disciplined, creative work habits. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in partnerships by balancing leadership with cooperation, building relationships on mutual respect, responsible self-expression, and a balance of power, leading to stable, enduring partnerships. 8th House: You confront challenges related to power, control, and shared resources with responsibility by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and disciplined self-expression, leading to empowerment through responsible management and deep emotional resilience. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to philosophical and creative growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with responsibility, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with integrity and creativity. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined leadership and responsible self-expression by building your professional life on a foundation of mature leadership and steady effort, leading to significant career achievements and a strong professional reputation. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and creative ambitions by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with a disciplined approach, resulting in the fulfillment of your aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to express your creativity and leadership in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on disciplined self-expression and inner growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner confidence that transcends external recognition.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Virgo, it highlights themes of precision, practicality, and service. Virgo, ruled by Mercury, naturally gravitates toward analytical thinking, attention to detail, and a strong work ethic. Saturn’s influence in Virgo intensifies these traits but also introduces challenges such as perfectionism, over-criticism, and a tendency to become overly fixated on flaws and imperfections. This placement often teaches important lessons about balancing efficiency with flexibility and managing responsibilities in a way that promotes both productivity and self-care. Saturn in Virgo challenges you to adopt a disciplined and organized approach to life while learning to accept imperfections and avoid getting lost in minor details that may not serve the bigger picture.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined and precise approach to self-expression by cultivating a strong personal identity through attention to detail and self-improvement, leading to a well-organized, respected presence that combines practicality with confidence. 2nd House: You learn to manage your resources and self-worth with meticulous care and responsibility by focusing on building financial stability and self-esteem through disciplined work and careful planning, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth based on practical achievements. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and precise communication and analytical thinking by approaching learning and communication with clarity, accuracy, and practical application, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being thorough and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a stable and organized home life with careful attention to detail by creating a well-maintained, supportive environment through disciplined efforts, leading to a harmonious and well-structured home life that provides comfort and security. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and attention to detail by channeling your energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize quality over quantity, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, thoughtful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support your professional goals and physical well-being, paying attention to details, resulting in career success and improved health through well-organized habits. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in partnerships by balancing criticism with support, building relationships on mutual respect and practical cooperation, leading to stable, enduring partnerships characterized by shared responsibilities. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and deep analysis by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution, meticulous planning, and an analytical mindset, leading to empowerment through responsible management and a deep understanding of complex issues. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to philosophical and analytical growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with practical application and attention to detail, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-structured philosophical outlook. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined work and attention to detail by building your professional life on careful planning, organization, and a commitment to excellence, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for reliability and precision. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and analytical pursuits by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with a disciplined approach to organization and practical analysis, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and analysis in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-improvement and practical growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and clarity from disciplined self-reflection.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Libra, it introduces a structured and disciplined influence to the areas of relationships, balance, and fairness. Libra, ruled by Venus, is naturally linked to harmony, partnerships, and a strong sense of justice. Saturn's presence in Libra is particularly potent, as Saturn is exalted in this sign, meaning it operates very effectively here. This placement often teaches valuable lessons about the importance of responsibility and commitment in relationships, the need to establish clear boundaries, and the ongoing challenge of maintaining balance in various aspects of life. Saturn in Libra encourages you to approach partnerships and social interactions with maturity and fairness, highlighting the significance of long-term commitment, diplomacy, and the cultivation of stable, enduring relationships.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a balanced, disciplined approach to self-expression and relationships by cultivating a strong sense of fairness and responsibility in your interactions, leading to a respected presence that harmonizes personal needs with a commitment to fairness in relationships. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with a focus on balance and fairness by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility and a commitment to long-term stability, resulting in financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in balanced values. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and fair communication and thinking by expressing ideas with clarity, diplomacy, and fairness in all interactions, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being thoughtful, fair-minded, and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and balanced home life by creating a harmonious environment through disciplined efforts and a commitment to fairness within the family, resulting in a stable, peaceful home life and strong, respectful family relationships. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with a sense of responsibility and balance by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize fairness and commitment, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, harmonious relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined, balanced approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical well-being with an emphasis on fairness and service, leading to career success and improved health through well-balanced habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment and fairness in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect and responsibility, leading to stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect, fairness, and long-term stability. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, intimacy, and shared resources with fairness by approaching deep emotional and financial matters with diplomacy and balance, leading to empowerment through responsible management and deep emotional connections built on fairness and trust. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, balanced approach to philosophical and spiritual growth by pursuing knowledge with a focus on fairness and justice, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with integrity and balance. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined leadership and a commitment to fairness by building your professional life on fairness, justice, and long-term planning, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for balanced leadership. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with a disciplined approach to fairness and cooperation, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections built on mutual respect. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and balance in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on inner balance, fairness, and self-reflection, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and balance from disciplined self-reflection.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Scorpio, it brings a disciplined, intense, and transformative energy to a sign known for its emotional depth, intensity, and focus on power and transformation. Scorpio, ruled by Mars and co-ruled by Pluto, is connected with themes of regeneration, secrets, and control. Saturn's influence in Scorpio often presents challenges related to managing deep-seated fears, navigating power dynamics, and dealing with emotional complexities. This placement teaches crucial lessons about developing emotional resilience, confronting and overcoming fears, and the responsible use of power. Saturn in Scorpio pushes you to explore the depths of your psyche, confront your inner shadows, and emerge stronger and more disciplined, turning challenges into opportunities for profound personal growth.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a strong, resilient sense of self that can handle intensity and transformation by cultivating emotional discipline and navigating personal challenges with strength and control, leading to a powerful self-identity that commands respect and handles life’s challenges with grace. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with emotional depth and security by approaching financial matters and self-worth with discipline, focusing on long-term security and emotional stability, resulting in financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in resilience. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and intense communication and thinking by expressing ideas with clarity, depth, and a strategic mindset, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being insightful, strategic, and emotionally intelligent. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and emotionally resilient home life by creating a stable, supportive environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a deeply rooted sense of security and a strong, emotionally stable family life. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with intensity and responsibility by channeling creative and romantic energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize emotional depth, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and emotional health, leading to career success and improved health through emotionally aware, balanced habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, depth, and emotional resilience in partnerships by building relationships on trust, responsibility, and a willingness to confront and resolve emotional challenges, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep emotional connections. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, intimacy, and transformation by approaching deep emotional and financial matters with caution and discipline, leading to empowerment through responsible management of shared resources and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, transformative approach to philosophical and spiritual growth by pursuing knowledge with deep understanding and resilience, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life through transformation. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, intense focus and responsible leadership by building your professional life on emotional strength, strategic thinking, and commitment to transformation, leading to significant career achievements and a reputation for resilience and depth. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and transformative goals by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with emotional depth and shared transformation, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and transformation in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on emotional healing and inner strength, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace through disciplined self-reflection and resilience.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Sagittarius, it brings a disciplined and structured energy to a sign naturally associated with expansion, philosophy, and the quest for truth. Sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter, is characterized by its optimism, love of adventure, and pursuit of higher knowledge. However, Saturn's influence in this sign introduces challenges around balancing the desire for freedom and exploration with the need for discipline, responsibility, and focus. This placement often teaches valuable lessons about the importance of patience in the pursuit of wisdom, the necessity of grounding expansive ideas in reality, and the challenge of maintaining optimism and faith even when faced with obstacles. Saturn in Sagittarius encourages you to develop a mature, disciplined approach to your beliefs, goals, and personal growth, urging you to combine your love for exploration with a practical and responsible mindset.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined approach to self-expression and personal growth by cultivating patience and responsibility in how you present yourself and pursue your goals, leading to a strong, respected self-identity that balances adventure with maturity and wisdom. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with discipline and a focus on long-term goals by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility and grounding your optimism in practical plans, resulting in long-term financial stability and a deep sense of self-worth. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful communication and learning by expressing ideas with clarity and a structured approach, balancing curiosity with responsibility, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being wise and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life with philosophical and spiritual grounding by creating a harmonious environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a stable, peaceful home enriched by shared beliefs and a sense of adventure. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on higher ideals by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize growth and wisdom, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, emphasizing higher purpose and integrity, leading to career success and improved health aligned with your beliefs. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, honesty, and shared values in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect and a shared sense of purpose, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect and long-term growth. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and philosophical transformation by approaching emotional and financial matters with caution, discipline, and a focus on growth, leading to empowerment through responsible management and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to philosophical, spiritual, and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge with structured learning and practical application, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with clarity. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, ethical leadership and a commitment to long-term goals by building your professional life on integrity and higher ideals, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for wisdom and ethical leadership. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of idealistic goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with discipline and a shared vision, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and philosophical understanding in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on inner growth and the application of higher wisdom, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and clarity.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Capricorn, it resides in its own sign, where its energy is particularly strong and functions naturally. Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, embodies qualities such as discipline, ambition, structure, and a strong sense of duty. With Saturn in Capricorn, the emphasis is on hard work, responsibility, and long-term planning. This placement teaches important lessons about the value of perseverance, the need to work within established frameworks, and the significance of building a solid foundation for future success. Saturn in Capricorn challenges you to approach life with patience and discipline, to set realistic goals, and to steadily work toward achieving them, often by overcoming obstacles and demonstrating your endurance and commitment.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined and responsible approach to self-expression and personal identity by cultivating a strong sense of self through steady growth, focusing on long-term goals and resilience, leading to a respected presence that combines ambition with maturity and a solid, enduring sense of self. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with discipline and a focus on long-term financial stability by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in hard work and practical achievements. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and practical communication and thinking by expressing ideas with clarity and structure, and approaching learning with patience and thoroughness, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being reliable, thoughtful, and pragmatic. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life with a focus on responsibility and tradition by creating a well-structured, supportive home environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a stable, harmonious home life and strong family relationships rooted in respect and mutual responsibility. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on lasting value by channeling creative and romantic energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize long-term commitment, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, emphasizing responsibility and structure, leading to career success and improved health through well-organized, disciplined habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, responsibility, and stability in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect, duty, and a commitment to long-term growth, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect and shared goals. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and deep emotional responsibility by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and discipline, focusing on building long-term security and trust, leading to empowerment through responsible management and profound personal growth. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, structured approach to philosophical, spiritual, and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with practical application and long-term goals, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with maturity and discipline. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, structured leadership and a commitment to long-term goals by building your professional life on integrity, responsibility, and hard work, leading to significant career achievements and a strong professional reputation for leadership and endurance. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of long-term, collective goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with discipline and a focus on collective growth, resulting in the fulfillment of your aspirations and strong, supportive social networks. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and responsibility in solitude, spiritual practices, and the management of hidden challenges by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-discipline and inner strength, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and resilience through disciplined self-reflection.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Aquarius, it highlights the importance of discipline, responsibility, and structure within the realms of innovation, social causes, and intellectual pursuits. Aquarius, traditionally ruled by Saturn and co-ruled by Uranus, is associated with humanitarian ideals, technological advancements, and a progressive mindset. Saturn’s influence in Aquarius emphasizes the need for structure and long-term planning in these areas, urging you to balance your desire for freedom and progress with the necessity of rules, order, and accountability. This placement often teaches valuable lessons about the significance of working within a collective framework, the responsibility of contributing to society, and the discipline needed to turn innovative ideas into practical reality. Saturn in Aquarius challenges you to responsibly push boundaries and contribute meaningfully to the greater good.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined approach to self-expression by balancing individuality with social responsibility, cultivating a strong, unique identity while considering the impact on the broader community, leading to a respected presence that combines personal authenticity with a commitment to social progress. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with a focus on innovation and long-term stability by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility and grounding innovative ideas in practical strategies, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in contributions to collective well-being. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined, forward-thinking communication and intellectual pursuits by expressing ideas with clarity, structure, and a commitment to social progress, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being innovative, thoughtful, and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure, forward-looking home life with a focus on social responsibility and progress by creating a stable, supportive environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a harmonious home that encourages individual freedom within a structured family setting. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on innovation and long-term impact by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize originality and responsibility, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and innovative relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined, innovative approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, with an emphasis on efficiency and social impact, leading to career success and improved health through innovative habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, innovation, and social responsibility in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect, shared goals, and a commitment to long-term stability and social progress, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by innovation and shared contributions to society. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and transformative innovation by approaching financial and emotional matters with discipline and a focus on collective growth, leading to empowerment through responsible management of shared resources and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, forward-thinking approach to philosophical, spiritual, and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with innovation, social responsibility, and structured learning, resulting in deep wisdom and a philosophical outlook that guides your life with clarity and innovation. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, innovative leadership and a commitment to social progress by building your professional life on integrity, responsibility, and a dedication to long-term success through innovative solutions, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for leadership and social responsibility. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of idealistic goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with a disciplined approach to innovation and collective growth, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and innovative thinking in solitude, spiritual practices, and the management of hidden challenges by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-discipline and inner growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and resilience through disciplined self-reflection and a commitment to personal and social transformation.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Pisces, it introduces a structured and disciplined energy to the fluid, intuitive, and spiritual nature of this Water sign. Pisces, ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, is connected with dreams, imagination, compassion, and a profound link to the collective unconscious. Saturn's influence in Pisces brings challenges related to grounding these ethereal qualities into practical reality. This placement often teaches important lessons about setting boundaries, managing escapist tendencies, and applying discipline to spiritual and creative pursuits. Saturn in Pisces encourages you to balance your sensitivity and idealism with the need for structure, responsibility, and perseverance, ultimately guiding you to turn your dreams into tangible achievements.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined approach to self-expression by balancing intuition with practicality, cultivating a strong sense of self grounded in realistic goals and disciplined action, leading to a respected presence that combines sensitivity with strength and the ability to manifest dreams into reality. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with a focus on spiritual and material balance by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility, resulting in long-term financial stability and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in a balanced approach to material and spiritual values. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful communication by expressing ideas with a blend of creativity and practicality, ensuring that your message is inspired and grounded, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being insightful, imaginative, and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and spiritually fulfilling home life by creating a harmonious environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a stable, peaceful home that provides emotional support and fosters spiritual well-being. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on meaningful, inspired work by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that blend imagination with responsibility, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined, compassionate approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, emphasizing spiritual and emotional balance, leading to career success and improved health through compassionate habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, compassion, and emotional boundaries in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect and shared spiritual growth, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect and compassion. 8th House: You confront challenges related to emotional depth, shared resources, and spiritual transformation by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and discipline, focusing on deep emotional and spiritual healing, leading to empowerment through responsible management and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, spiritually grounded approach to philosophical and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge with a balance of faith and practical application, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with clarity and compassion. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, compassionate leadership and a commitment to long-term spiritual and professional goals by building your professional life on integrity and responsibility, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for leadership and spiritual integrity. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of collective, idealistic goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with a disciplined approach to collective growth, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections built on shared spiritual goals. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and spiritual understanding in solitude, introspection, and the management of hidden challenges by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-discipline and inner growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace through disciplined self-reflection and spiritual practice.

Masterlist

[harmoonix]

west side

Astrology Observations

Do you ever have a hard time to accept some planets or signs in your birth chart? Personally i have a hard time to accept my scorpio placements because they are not so easy to have in ones chart

Venus in the 1H, 5H and the 11H are the most outgoing placements for Venus! Social, creative, charming! they got all the plate

Moon aspecting Mercury in good aspects can be liked for their personality and the vibe they give to others

A Fire rising in your mars persona chart can indicate a desirable person, or someone people love to have to around

Lilith in the 2H, 6H, 10H can often charm people with their bossy atittude, they have a specific earthy energy

People with LIlith In air signs can often use dirty words while they are talking and sometimes dirty words are in their everyday dictionary

Venusian Moons (Libra and Taurus Moon) can have a pleasing voice and personality, often they can have a seducing aura

Aries Risings tend to have extremely beautiful relationships thanks to their 7H Libra, is honestly such a beautiful energy

Neptune aspecting ascendant natives can not always see their worth! They are very worthy people but tend to fall under certain stereotypes which can bring them down

Leo Lilith and Leo Rising both need to recieve attention in order to feel loved. They need to be feel seen to feel like they are worthy for you

If someone has their mercury in the same sign as your venus, you can often get compliments from them!! or to be praised by them

I feel like people with a taurus rising dont always realise their beauty, they are so modest and nice when people appreciate their beauty

People who have 11H placements often have the desire to change the world somehow or to make the world in a better place

Chiron in Scorpio or in the 8H can talk about how deeply the natives needs are, they can become needy of certain things or people

You can always tell the majority of zodiac signs someone can have in their chart based on the season they are born, for example people born in spring will mostly have planets in aries and taurus and sometimes even gemini, someone born in winter can mostly have lots of planets in sagitarrius pisces aquarius and so on

Aries Venus/mars and lilith are always full of energy! they can struggle with being stubborn though because when have a plan or an idea, they have to finish it

People with mars in libra, cancer and virgo can be the submissive ones in a relationship but without that toxic "dominant and submissive" thing, is just their energy to not rule but to help the ruler

People with an earth sign in their 8H love intimacy and in the same time will keep it priviate from others, usually those people who are shy to others but the most sexual beasts to their partners

Gemini rules over the hands/nails, gemini placements can have really gorgeous hands and nails naturally

If you have your moon between 0 and 9 degrees , your moon has a new energy which can indicate that is more active, more sensitive, more curious, they are little explorers from a young age

I think i said this more times in my observations but if you have Pisces or Libra placements, do not start a relationship until you dont learn how to love yourself first, because you can end up hurt,

People with Saturn in Libra or the 7H can actually become more mature while in a relationship, is like their partners can open their eyes and teach them how to be more mature

i started to love my 7h Saturn honestly, i have it at 0 degrees in my siedereal chart and is honestly an indictor that i dont have to rush love relationships at all. my mom tells this everytime, love will find a way in your life when you least expect it

Aquarius and Capricorn Moons in my opinion are so loyal they will keep everything private but still being loyal and loving to you, they are honestly so sweet

Usually mercury in fire signs can be a bit harsh in love relationships, they have a harsh humour which not everyone can understand, deep dark humour jokes

If is something im not sure if is accurate about astrology and birth chart is probably those asteroids that are related with genitals.. like you cant tell about someones genitals just by looking at some asteroids

Aquarius and Scorpio in the 4H, 12H house can talk about a deep wound connected with your family or close relatives, if someone hurt you from your family you can easily cut them off

People with pluto or saturn aspecting south node can indicate having a dark past in the current and past lives

[cosmicpuzzle]

2nd Lord in Houses

2nd lord in 1st House

This indicates that your have an expressive personality with an interest of accumulating knowledge and educating yourself. You earn money in your own way, with your own style, with your own effort. You have a good imagination and you express it creatively.

2nd lord in 2nd House

You are a knowledgeable person with a good sense of how to accumulate your personal resources. You are therefore likely to become relatively wealthy and stay that way. You have a good mind and your career might be linked to teaching or public speaking.

2nd lord in 3rd House

Your style of accumulating resources is likely to be linked to your skillfulness, and definitely your own initiative. You may be very motivated by the prospects of income, and you like to express yourself through your dexterity or art-form of some kind.

2nd lord in 4th House

Your style of accumulating wealth may be strongly influenced by your mother or someone close to you. You get comfort from self-expression and financial security. There is a good likelihood of gaining a good academic degree.

2nd lord in 5th House

This is an excellent indication of wealth, both to yourself and your children. Your way of income may in some way depend on education or teaching, but certainly on your intelligence. Your mind is strong and versatile, and you express yourself in a playful and creative ways.

2nd lord in 6th House

The way you express yourself may not be very acceptable to some people. There are good indications of a good income, although hard work and a lapse of time may be needed. Income may be through problem solving or service of some kind. You may also have a talent of gaining through your opponents or enemies.

2nd lord in 7th House

You like company and you like to express yourself, particularly in a one-to-one situation. You may be attracted to affluent people and quite possibly married to a wealthy person. Your spouse, will at least, be in some way strongly connected to the way money comes to you. In any event the style in which you accumulate resources will be through interaction of some kind and possibly traveling.

2nd lord in 8th House

You may be quite secretive and earn through unusual and secretive ways. There is a possibility of a speech impairment or shyness of speaking publicly. Using your exploring mind, you might get resources through research of some kind, which uncovers something previously hidden. You may also deal with other peoples' money by working in a bank. In any case wealth and property of land are likely to take place in your life. You may have suffered loss of comfort or happiness due to your older sibling.

2nd lord in 9th House

Your style of accumulating resources may be through conveying knowledge, through teaching or lecturing. There may also be an income from higher and educational institution, since you are likely to have acquired a high degree of education. There is good fortune in your life, especially what concerns self-expression, money and acquiring knowledge. You have high moral values and try to observe the behavioral codes of your religion. As a child you may have suffered from sickness, although gaining full health later.

2nd lord in 10th House

This is a signification that there will be good amount of income and fortune in your life. The income will, most likely, be connected to a clever management of the flow and accumulation of money. There is also social prestige, learning and honor in your life. Expressing yourself in a public setting gives you fulfillment.

2nd lord in 11th House

This is a great combination for financial security and if other factors support it, you will get wealthy. You don't need to be on a constant lookout for new resources, the opportunities will seek you out and be presented to you by others. If you maintain an optimistic attitude and manage your resources your wealth will always increase steadily.

2nd lord in 12th House

It might be difficult for you to control the balance between income and expense and consequently you might often find yourself in debt. It seems like the resources disperse instead of accumulating. It might be hard for you to express yourself openly and you might harbor the fear of being misunderstood if you do. Be careful when you express yourself to be truthful at all times.

For Readings DM

[creative-crybaby]

Trifle

PAIRING: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

GENRE: crack? crack. | smut (18+)

Minors DNI

TAGS + WARNINGS: fingering, oral (m receiving), praise kink, dacryphilia (?), cum eating, squirting

Let me know if I missed anything.

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

SUMMARY: Two things can be true at the same time. Does Gojo make you want to hit him upside the head with a frying pan, should his Infinity allow it? Yes. Does he also know how to make your ovaries explode with his fingers alone? Also yes.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Heeeeyyyy~ yes it's been several months without a fic and this comes out under 2k words buuuuuutttt~ u get bitchass!Gojo (we love him)

© creative-crybaby, do not repost or modify

You’re going to kill him. 

He’s a walking, talking headache. Questioning your teaching methods for your students, eating your sweets even though you’ve labelled them (it’s right there!), swooping into your missions like he’s saving the day. Those are just a few of the many examples, but he does it all on purpose, you’re sure of it. 

So to be sitting between his long legs with his slender fingers knuckle-deep into your sopping cunt feels like a blow to your integrity and pride. 

Especially since he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“So,” Gojo drawls, pausing his ministrations between your trembling thighs, “how many orgasms was that?”

Your face is boiling. From rage or embarrassment, you can’t decide. “Fuck you.”

The sorcerer hums at your crude remark before slipping his digits out of your pussy, holding his hand a foot away from your face to catch your essence blanketing his skin. 

“Patience, patience.” His easy-going tone makes you want to jab your elbow into his stomach. “Jeez, someone’s eager. You finally warming up to me, Princess?”

And that damn nickname. Either Gojo genuinely doesn’t know how much you hate it, or he’s just trying to push your buttons some more. With the clueless grins he’d offer as he’d call you that, you’d assume the former. But with his explanation for calling you that being that you always stick your nose up at him, you don’t think he deserves any benefit of the doubt. 

You hate that nickname, yet you find yourself clenching around nothing just from hearing those familiar syllables. 

His first question came out like he was asking for the time, yet with the number of times he’s made you see galaxies, you ought to be grateful that his tone holds no cockiness. No, actually, you might prefer that instead—how dare he handle this victory with grace and nonchalance?

“This doesn’t even make us friends,” you manage to stammer through gritted teeth. Your glare remains on his hand, still drenched before you, though your frustration lies more down south than anywhere else. 

You can hear the taunting frown in the sorcerer’s voice. “Guess you won’t care for this anymore, then.”

His arm, responsible for putting you in your puddle-like state, slowly retracts, and you can feel the sorcerer take his time raising from his seated position. 

Now he’s finally giving you the space you always wanted from him, yet you surprise yourself by grabbing him by the wrist. You let go as soon as you recognize your action, but the deed has already been done. 

An overly enthusiastic gasp. “You do like me!”

“Oh, my God—If I say yes, will you just finish the job already?” you groan. 

Gojo plops back to his seating position behind you, nestling his chin onto your shoulder as he teases his hand to return between your thighs. His warm breath fans your cheek while his lips graze your earlobe. Miniscule actions that have your body heating up. Intentional on his part, most likely, though you refuse to give him any more ammo against you. 

A heavy sigh. The feigned disappointment in his tone has your brows furrowing so intensely that you worry you might pop a vein. 

“No gratitude for the hand that feeds you, huh?” The special-grade sorcerer nuzzles into your neck, his woe-is-me attitude soon replaced with a blinding grin and boyish giggle. “Oh, but you know I can’t be mad at you for long!”

Long and slender fingers bury themselves in your weeping cunt before you process his mood swings. A trembling moan slips from your mouth as his skilled ministrations resume, your sweet spot welcoming the familiar touch. His speed and rhythm return as if he never paused, further turning your brain to mush as your thighs tremble. Gojo chuckles childishly once more, the charming melody syncing with the embarrassingly loud squelching of your soaking pussy. 

Multiple orgasms later, and you ask for more. The heat from the situation must be melting your sense of reason because you can’t tell if you’re greedy or just plain stupid. 

“You crying?” Gojo’s voice carries its usual teasing lilt, the one he has specifically for you. You don’t even realize how the fresh tears glaze your vision—as if he didn’t already have enough fuel for the fire.

But you bite your tongue. You bite your tongue because there’s no convincing anyone that he’s crazy and seeing things and the last thing you need is for him to stall some more when you’re already sososo close to the edge.

A slight change in angle. It does the trick, his fingers still bullying that one spot while his palm brushes against your throbbing clit with just as much vigour. Your body tenses, a choked sob escaping your glossy lips as your orgasm hits you like a tsunami. Warm liquid follows soon after, the blue-eyed sorcerer’s movements refusing to halt and making lewd splashing sounds in the process. 

Even once everything simmers down, the impact decides to remain a bit longer. With a heaving chest and stuttering hips, the room stops spinning, slowly but surely.

A low whistle. “If you had to pee, you could have just said so.”

“Why are you like this?”

Gojo hums before slipping his fingers out of your pussy, earning him a slightly pained whimper from you. He stands back up as you wipe away the evidence of your crying, peering up at him when his shadow blankets you. His towering frame never fails to catch you off-guard, but what currently has your attention is the Special Grade sorcerer sucking his digits clean of your juices, a satisfied mewl coming straight from his throat.

“Welp,” he stretches his arms above his head, “we still have a bit of time left before we have that meeting with good ol’ Principal Yaga, so,” the sound of a zipper reaches your ears, and it's only a few seconds later that he pulls out his cock—long, stiff and painfully ready, “why not return the favour?” 

You’re too fucked out to argue against him. That’s the reasoning you’d think of using should he confront you about your willingness to comply. You can’t help it if you’re losing the staring contest against his cock, saliva pooling on your tongue as he taps his vermillion tip against your cheek.

Your lips part as your eyes flutter closed, unable to bear to look at the Special Grade sorcerer as you take him down your throat, inch by inch. The gagging sound that erupts from your throat halfway through makes your brows furrow, and you can only hope the man above you doesn’t comment. With clenched fists sitting on your lap, you further shield your sight with screwed-shut lids as you push yourself to take more, using your tongue for good measure.

A shuddered sigh leaves Gojo’s soft lips when you tease one of his veins. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl.”

You moan in response, feeling bold enough to create a steady pace to bob your head. Whatever you couldn’t reach, your hand took care of, a part of your brain urging you to squeeze him just a bit harder. His responses only grow louder, his groaning and panting setting your face on fire.

“You’re so good at this,” he rasps, his large hand finding the top of your head. Despite his gentle touch, you furrow your brows at the contact. “Too good…” You don’t expect him to slip himself out of your mouth, holding his base away from your mouth and making you finally look up at him. Gojo tilts his head to the side. “You’ve done this before?”

You'd have thought he was teasing if it weren’t for the pout on his lips. You look at him for a moment with an incredulous expression.

“What are you talking about?” You swat his hand out of your hair. “You seriously think being with anyone outside our line of work would be easy?” The male sorcerer’s gaze carries hope at your words, a noticeable shine in those cerulean blues that make your heart stutter. Unsure of what to do next, you continue the lost momentum by pumping his pulsing cock in your hand. “I’m stuck with you, Gojo.”

You figure his shuddered gasp is from your returning touch, especially with the combination of pinched brows, quivering lips and heavy blush on his cheeks and ears. But his large hand on top of yours–the one doing all the work–tells another story.

“You really do like me, Princess!” The sorcerer exclaims, his voice wavering halfway. 

At this point, you don’t care to dissect whether or not he’s pushing your buttons. Even at a time like this….

“I meant I’m settling for you,” you grumble, ignoring how his hand practically devours yours. You manage to retract your hold from his. “Don’t make me bite you.”

Gojo giggles at your threat, his bottom lip slipping between his teeth when you plop his dick back in your mouth. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Without warning, you graze his shaft with your teeth the more you take him in your mouth. Not enough to hurt, but enough to send a message, if your irritated expression wasn’t already doing the job. 

Although, you suppose it is your fault for not taking him seriously either. Your actions earn you a whimper from the Special Grade sorcerer. Not a second later, he has his head thrown back as he pours his load down your throat. Your eyes widen at the overpowering taste, doing what you can to swallow every drop without choking. Even through his orgasm, you find yourself thinking about how he ought to cut down on the sweets. 

You’re quick to pull back for air once Gojo comes down from his high, sputtering in your hand as he sighs happily. 

“Told ya,” he muses, tucking himself back in. You wipe your mouth, glaring at him from your spot on the floor. 

“Whatever,” you grunt, putting your clothes back on before attempting to stand. If he notices your legs still wobbling, he thankfully doesn’t comment. “Let’s just hurry and get to that meeting before Yaga gets mad.”

Gojo hums with a tilt of his head as he watches you dusting off your pants.

“Oh, yeah!” He drops his fist into his palm. You throw a wary look his way when he grins. “We’ve been late this whole time, actually.”

© creative-crybaby, do not repost or modify

[figueroths]

reading thru tags on that frames v timeline post and I’m wondering if I should make a quick tutorial on how to convert to frames from timeline to export bc it will save people time and gif quality

[starsandsuch]

ATMAKARAKA THROUGH THE HOUSES: how does your soul’s purpose manifest in this lifetime? 💡🦋

Your Atmakaraka is the planet in your Vedic Astrology chart with the highest degree. This planet represents your soul’s purpose in the lifetime.

Your Atmakaraka is called your soul planet or your AK planet. It is the significator of your soul.

The house your Soul Planet is in will paint a picture to how exactly your souls purpose will manifest in this lifetime.

Read my original post on identifying your soul planet: here

Atmakaraka in the 1H:

Your souls purpose is about self development. You’re meant to cultivate your own identity in this lifetime. Your major life lessons relate to being authentic and following your own journey. To develop strong boundaries between who you are vs what your expected to be. You’re meant to do things uniquely in a way that suits you and you only. Disregard the path society sets out for you, and create your own. You’re destined for notoriety and recognition.

Atmakaraka in the 2H:

Your soul’s purpose is about creating stability and security for yourself. Your meant to establish yourself in the material world, and be self-sufficient financially. You’re life’s journey is about sustenance. Sustaining yourself, your name, your possessions, your resources and your money. It’s all about creating and maintaining a proper foundation for yourself. You’re meant to use your voice as a method for fulfilling your purpose. Developing your speech to convey a message is apart of what your soul wants to do.

Atmakaraka in the 3H:

Your soul’s purpose is about communication. How do you express yourself? What mediums help you get your message across most authentically? You are destined to bring a specific message to the world that can only be channeled through you. Your destiny has a lot to do with speech, messages, media and conversation. You are meant to exercise a sense of courage in this life and do things fearlessly. Fearlessly communicating your authentic thoughts to the world. Saying what’s on your heart. Through music, writing, poetry, public speaking and the like.

Atmakaraka in the 4H

Your soul’s journey is about developing your inner happiness. Your meant to do what brings you emotional fulfillment. What makes you feel safe, secure, emotionally aligned? That is what your soul seeks to experience in this lifetime. Alignment with family and ancestors is a key life theme for you. To experience the emotional bond with people you call your family. You’re meant to get in touch with your roots, and align with the foundation of who you are. You’re soul seeks a sense of rootedness to the past in order to cultivate your future. The connection you have with your mother is an important part of your journey.

Atmakaraka in the 5H:

Your destined to express yourself creatively in this lifetime. You’re meant to develop and display your creative talents to the world. Your creative contributions are important, unique, and only can be expressed by you. Your life purpose is connected to performance, arts and entertainment. Through these mediums you are able to express your true soul purpose. Parenthood is a sacred journey for you, where you’re meant to experience preganacy/ raising a child. Your destiny is connected to children in general. Teaching them, guiding them, being involved in their development.

Atmakaraka in the 6H:

Your soul seeks to be of service in this lifetime. You are meant to be a healer. Healing yourself, healing those who need your help. Your power lies in being of service to humanity through your healing abilities. You are destined to overcome adversities and cultivate a sense of resilience. You’ll experience challenges, yet this transforms you into the ultimate problem-solver. You develop impenetrable strength: mentally, spiritually and psychologically. You incarnated because society needs your help, God sending one of his strongest soldiers to help heal the world. You have a special connection with animals in this lifetime. They are your allies in this journey.

Atmakaraka in the 7H

Your soul seeks to connect with others through partnership. Your soul’s purpose involves being in relationships that are fulfilling on a emotional, psychological and physical level. It is in your destiny to cultivate your social presence in the world, being a person of charm, decorum and worldliness. Your major life themes involve how you appeal to people and how you use your social connections to elevate your life. Your soul seeks to be impactful in society, through the social influence you have.

Atmakaraka in the 8H:

Your soul’s purpose is destined towards transformation. You experience blockages, challenges and adversities but come out stronger every time. You’re meant to turn your pain into power, to be an alchemist. Your soul came here to experience transformation. Spiritually, mentally, physically and psychologically. You’ll be faced with many unexpected crises yet your powerful intuition will always guide you. The occult knowledge you have will be key in your journey. You’re destined to experience the power that comes from transforming yourself and your life. You’re destined to leave a powerful legacy.

Atmakaraka in the 9H:

You’re destined to be a guide to others. Your soul came here with the purpose of spiritual evolution. Over the course of your life you’ll have many awakenings, epiphanies and realizations. This leads you to amassing abundant wisdom. You’re destined to teach the wisdom you have to others, guiding them on their paths. Your destiny is a worldly one, where it impacts people on a global scale. Your soul seeks the truth, spiritual knowledge, and the ability to live a life free of falsities and illusions.

Atmakaraka in the 10H:

You are destined to achieve your long term goals and be established in the material world. Your soul seeks achievement in the material world. To be successful , have recognition and status is what you’re here to achieve. Your destined to leave your mark on the world in an authentic way, your here to build and leave your legacy through your career and reputation. You are destined for fame or high status.

Atmakaraka in the 11H:

You are destined to fulfill your wishes and desires. Your life has a lot to do with manifesting. Manifesting your long term goals and unique visions. You are a visionary. You’re meant to focus on your gains in life and how you can achieve success in the material realm. Along the way you are likely to be popular and influential. Your purpose leads you to elevating humanity through your influence, there’s a deeper theme here of you making a difference in the world. Your goals and desires help the collective at large. Through your influence you help shape the trajectory of society.

Atmakaraka in the 12H:

Your destiny is about spiritual liberation. Your soul seeks truth and enlightenment. More importantly it seeks freedom from the cycles of reincarnation. You’re likely here on earth now as one of your final lifetimes. You are an old soul. This means your life is about letting go and not having attachments in the material realm that keep you trapped here. That’s why you’re on a discovery of truth. Dispelling illusions and aligning with your true spiritual journey. Your road is lonely, isolating and harrowing at times, but it’s all for the purpose of aligning you with your spiritual destiny. You are a healer and wise person. Your purpose involves being of service to others. You find it hard to connect to the material world/ mainstream society bc your destined for something greater. You’re meant to fulfill your spiritual goals more than material. 12th house is the “exit”. The spiritual, mystical exit where your soul elevates to the next realm after this incarnation, and you break free from being recycled back to earth.

Related posts:

Your soul planet and your mission in this lifetime

Your 1st house ruler and your unique life path

[chitra111goddess]

VEDIC ASTROLOGY NOTES ♡

(Can apply to any planet placement)

⚡️Ashwini women always stand out to me with their creativity especially in acting , they rly know to embody the character they're playing to the fullest even irl it may be easier for them to shift thro different identities or alter-egos just for funsies

⚡️There's smtg about purva phalguni women , they're gorgeous but for some reason I noticed they get hate esp from other women like they're called fake or pick-mes or they make up stories hmm

⚡️Purva ashadha women are so inspiring like they're always the ones to be teaching or preaching or saying smtg inspiring/motivational. They're beauties with soul and a mind of their own ! If u know a purva ashadha better take notes 📝

⚡️Magha women love wearing black and something about their looks or style is unconventional/gothy, it suits them

⚡️Uttara-phalguni women are so headstrong bruh and they have this leadership aura about them, they're gonna do what THEY think is right. Like other sun-ruled nakshatras they easily get attention

⚡️Mrigashira women love the push & pull , cat &mouse game, they either attract this dynamic or they create it themselves. There's also smth about Mrigashira and obsession 👀

⚡️Jyestha women embody the wild feminine archetype imo, when evolved theyre truly empowered and have this idgaf energy. people may be threatened by their power or skills. Their voice or the way the speak is commanding and naturally charismatic

⚡️Swati/ardra and their eyes 👁👁 most captivating eyes imo I'm in luv

⚡️Purva bhadrapada women seem to attract or be drawn to men with dark nature or men who carry trauma ? Or they know how to bring that out in a man

⚡️Dhanishta women love dancing and they appear to be friendly or have many acquaintances but very little people they relate to. Popular girlies

⚡️Rohini women feminine energy is undeniable , something about them feels innocent yet erotic. They just give off this juicy fertile vibee lmao💦 unlike jyestha which is more dry (not in a bad way its just different 💀)

⚡️Anuradha women are secretive as hell even if they tell u shit don't think u have them all figured out. there's so much to unpack with them , they're generally intriguing complex characters

⚡️Most bratty nakshatras are mrigashira and chitra lmao

⚡️Revati women are pretty privilege girlies also they're master manipulators 👀 they know how to use their femininity to get what they want

⚡️Pushya women have big MOMMY energy. they seem/look mature. They're either the ones taking care of others or others take care of them

⚡️Uttara bhadrapada women have dualistic nature they're either the sweetest ppl u know or ur worst nightmare depending on who theyre dealing with 💀they're like a mirror projecting and reflecting back ur inner self back at ya (Pisces energy) also don't forget the karmic saturn influence.. u don't wanna mess w them or any other saturn ruled woman

⚡️Viahaka women go through intense ups and downs , starting from their good girl phase then they snap and go wild then they mature/become spiritual

⚡️Chitra women secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy drama , they're either the ones caught up in it or they play the role of the "judge" where they can solve conflicts between others. Somehow they're surrounded by it.

⚡️Don't underestimate krittika women especially when it comes to survival 💀 these women can be dangerous and will stab a bitch if they rly had to (whether its for defending loved ones or them surviving) their symbol is 🔪 after all and taurus/aries gives them that survival instinct

⚡️Ardra women can make great poets/song writers , their creativity and inspiration stems from their own 'tragic' experiences

⚡️Punarvasu women remind me of that quote "home is where the heart is" they always end up coming back to their origins and what they feel in their heart

Lemme know ur thoughts & what I should make next

[eccentricallygothic]

Pairing: Dark Daddy!Rafe Cameron | Naive Little!Reader. 

Warning(s): Dubcon, cold shower, waterboarding, possessive!Rafe, Dark!Rafe, toxic relationship, dumbification, dacryphilia, manhandling, fear kink, dark ddlg, allusion to spanking, he's mean okay? Browse at your own discretion. 

Rafe does not like his little girl smelling like anyone or anything other than him.

But she's too stupid to understand it, even though he has explained it to her many, many times with all the patience he could muster. 

So now? 

He will teach her. 

"Daddy, please–"

"Shut up" a cigarette dangled from Rafe's lips as he pushed the younger in the bathroom by her hair, the force he used causing her head to loll forwards.

"B–" 

He pulled her head back roughly to level her ear with his mouth. "Not one word, little girl" she had been too engrossed with pleading her case to notice where he had brought her. But now that he pushed her inside the shower, the girl looked around her in confusion as her body scrambled about due to the raw strength it was being subjected to. 

She resisted the urge to voice her distress, knowing how easily irritable her boyfriend became when he was unhappy. 

But this, this was something new. 

Y/n had no idea what was brewing in his head but with the rather ample knowledge of how creative and cruel Rafe got during the times when he felt like she needed adjustment or maintenance, she could not help but feel scared. 

Even though her boyfriend always assured her that he was the only person who she wasn't to fear because all he wanted to do was to protect her since she was too little and dumb to do it on her own, it did not feel that way when he got angry. 

Like, right now. 

Rafe took a drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke in her face after turning her around with the grip he had on her head. "Smell yourself" Y/n blinked up at him in confusion at first but hurriedly grabbed her shirt when he raised a dangerous eyebrow at her. "And tell me, what do you smell like?" 

Tears glistened in her eyes at his tone and she whimpered, ducking her head a little and moving the shirt up the rest of the way until it touched her nose. Her hands trembled as she took a sniff. 

"Well?"

These kinds of situations were tricky. 

She never knew what he wanted to hear. 

And wrong answers only damned her further.

The girl opened and closed her mouth a couple times, unsure. Rafe shut his eyes and took a deep breath, the action causing her to panic as she raked her mind for an answer, aware that he did that whenever he was struggling to remain composed. 

And he only bothered with that for her. 

"Sweetheart" he cradled her face closer with his other hand, the nicotine stick between his fingers dangerously close to her cheek. "My question isn't gonna answer itself…" The sudden tenderness in his words as he tried to remain as calm as he could manage caused her to sob in both guilt and fear, shaking a little as she spoke. 

This was why Y/n was one of those girls who preferred not to piss their Daddies off. 

Rafe was too scary when he got like that. 

"... D- Dunno… D- Daddy…" His features scrunched in annoyance and he craned his neck back to take a long drag of his cigarette, causing her bottom lip to wobble.

It was only after he had exhaled did he chuckle slowly, nodding to himself. "Of course, how could I forget?" Looking back down at her, he wiped her tears with the pad of his thumb, nails scratching her scalp in a comforting manner where he held her hair. "You're too stupid to know anything, aren't you, baby?" 

The girl went to agree just for the sake of pleasing him but before she could respond, he was hauling her under the shower head and hitting the handle at the coldest setting. 

"So let me just teach my little girl this time around." 

Y/n screeched as heavy drops of ice cold water splashed against the top of her head and then the rest of her body like millions of tiny shards of ice, trickling down the rest of her alarmed skin in a way that stiffened every muscle in her body. 

Her spine tightened inwards.

"DADDY!" Half of her cry drowned under the unrelenting burst of the shower head, her hands weakly trying to tap and push at his hard arms that did not budge. 

Their strengths were incomparable. 

The sizes of their bodies did not and would not matter regardless of how big or small she was.  

Rafe was too strong, especially when his mind numbing rage was pumping through his veins. 

Like right now. 

"I know, baby, I know" he was unfazed by her gasping and thrashing around for air and comfort as he sucked at his cigarette, his buzzed head glittering with the droplets that had sprayed on him. "You wanna thank Daddy for making the effort to set you straight, I know." 

Y/n's lungs burnt for oxygen as she choked on the icy water, blindly tapping about with widened eyes that stung under the chilling water. Her nostrils ached whenever she tried to breathe, since the unforgiving water seeped in quicker than the air she so desperately needed.  

A loud, strangled gasp escaped her when Rafe jerked her out by the hold he had placed on her neck, bringing her face in close proximity to his so she could hear his menacing whisper. 

"Since you are too stupid to remember that I don't like it when you smell like anything other than me everytime," to make matters worse, you smelt like your male bestfriend's -whom Rafe could not stand to save his own life- body spray. "Maybe if I show you what will happen the next time I smell asshole on you, you will actually try to use that tiny brain before getting close to anyone other than your Daddy." 

The male remained unbothered when she coughed out water in his face to try and clear her system so she could speak, the drops causing his cigarette to hiss. "S- Sorry– Daddy- Sorry–" 

Rafe snorted. "Oh, yes. Sorry you will be," her eyes widened and she screamed only to have it get muffled again when he pushed her back under the unforgiving stream, "by the time I get done with you." It was not that he didn't trust his baby or doubted her loyalty, it was everyone else. 

The fucked up world that was too dangerous for his precious little special girl. 

Who seemed to brush his concerns and worries off like they were nothing. 

Silly little thing. 

He was not one to be taken lightly. 

And she would learn that for good by the time the night was through. 

"Hmm…" Y/n was shivering and wheezing when he pulled her away from the vicious downpour again. "Let's see–"

"Daddy, please! I am sorry! Swear I am!" He only cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her pleading sob. 

"I told you to shut up" Y/n's heart hammered against her ribcage and breathing nearly ceased when he pulled her even closer, squeezing her throat for emphasis. "Didn't I?" 

"Sorr–" she was too panicked and cold to properly process anything.  

Rafe clicked his tongue in disapproval as he shook his head, snorting before sucking on his cigarette again. "Oh, bunny" using his free hand to push the drenched strands away from her face, he sighed. "Your little mind has forgotten all its manners, hasn't it?" And she was shoved under the water again. 

"Constant back talk as if it's not already bad enough that you still don't smell like my good little girl" her nails were turning white from how they dug into the skin of his hand that forced her still. 

Rafe kept her in for the longest duration this time around, only pulling her out when her body nearly went limp.

Though she was dunked back in the moment he saw light return to her eyes. 

The male kept at it for a good few minutes, constantly stripping her of all dignity and freewill before allowing her a shred of solace only to snatch it away again the moment hope would try to rekindle in the flushed face that he adored so much. 

As much as Rafe loved Y/n, he liked her best when she was in her place. 

Which was under him and at his whim. 

"Hm" he took a sniff of her shaking and panting tired form when he thrusted her body towards himself this time. "This will do" nodding to himself in approval he shut the shower off. 

She was ordered to strip from her drenched clothes. The girl obeyed, the only task on her mind to make her Daddy happy again by pleasing him.

Because he was right.

He looked out for her and protected her all the time, the least she could was to follow her rules and be good for him.

Daddy was always right. 

"You're lucky I care for you, baby" her uncontrollable tears were warm against her cheeks in contrast to everything else. "So I will teach your pea brain the same old thing again" discarding the finished cigarette, he reached for his belt before undoing the buckle. 

The girl just stared at the floor quietly; trembling and meek.

Though she could not maintain the silence for very long and was forced to break it when her chest rumbled at the sight of his belt snaking out of the hoops of his jeans. Soft sobs fell from her lips as she hugged her arms. 

Oh, no.

"Go ahead now~" Rafe nodded towards the door as he helped himself to a new cigarette. "In the bed, face down and ass up."

[girlw-amermaidtattoo]

100 Reasons Why Men w/ Tiny Cocks Should Stay Caged 🔐💕✨

1. It keeps your focus on serving.

2. Prevents accidental release during teasing.

3. Encourages obedience to your Domme.

4. Enhances the thrill of anticipation.

5. Helps you appreciate the pleasure of edging.

6. Protects your ego from unrealistic expectations.

7. Allows you to fully embrace your submissive side.

8. Reduces the pressure to perform.

9. Keeps you in check, just like you need.

10. Lets your Domme take control of your pleasure.

11. Encourages you to be more creative in pleasing.

12. Helps you learn patience.

13. Makes foot worship even more enticing.

14. Teaches you to cherish every moment of teasing.

15. Allows you to focus on your Domme’s needs.

16. Heightens your arousal with each denied orgasm.

17. Promotes self-reflection on your desires.

18. Helps you bond with your Domme over shared experiences.

19. Cultivates a sense of community among caged subs.

20. Inspires you to improve your skills in other areas of service.

21. Frees you from the fear of rejection.

22. Reminds you that size doesn’t define your worth.

23. Encourages you to explore new forms of pleasure.

24. Provides a perfect excuse to focus on other kinks.

25. Allows for deeper submission to your Domme.

26. Teaches you how to beg for release.

27. Creates a sense of safety in your submission.

28. Lets you appreciate the beauty of chastity.

29. Keeps your Domme feeling powerful.

30. Helps you cultivate self-control.

31. Allows for intense fantasies while caged.

32. Enhances your desire to earn praise.

33. Reinforces the dynamic between you and your Domme.

34. Encourages more intimate forms of play.

35. Inspires you to engage more with online communities.

36. Makes worshiping your Domme even more fulfilling.

37. Fosters a sense of belonging among other caged subs.

38. Teaches you to find pleasure in denial.

39. Encourages you to express your devotion creatively.

40. Develops a deeper understanding of your own desires.

41. Allows for fun role reversal scenarios.

42. Empowers you to embrace your vulnerabilities.

43. Helps you discover new ways to please your Domme.

44. Serves as a constant reminder of your submission.

45. Promotes a healthy dialogue about boundaries.

46. Creates excitement around the prospect of release.

47. Encourages you to become an expert in worship.

48. Reinforces the idea that it’s about the journey, not the destination.

49. Provides a unique thrill in everyday life.

50. Cultivates deeper connections with fellow subs.

51. Challenges societal expectations of masculinity.

52. Helps you develop a stronger sense of identity.

53. Encourages you to explore all forms of pleasure.

54. Inspires you to think outside the box in your service.

55. Teaches you to savor every moment of teasing.

56. Allows you to indulge in fantasies without pressure.

57. Enhances the mental aspect of submission.

58. Provides a playful outlet for your desires.

59. Encourages you to focus on your Domme’s happiness.

60. Helps you learn the art of begging and pleading.

61. Provides a fun challenge for your submission.

62. Allows you to truly understand your desires.

63. Helps you develop new skills in service.

64. Promotes a sense of surrender in your submission.

65. Inspires you to share your experiences with others.

66. Helps you appreciate the power dynamics at play.

67. Encourages you to embrace your unique journey.

68. Creates a heightened sense of intimacy with your Domme.

69. Teaches you to value emotional connections.

70. Provides an opportunity for deeper exploration of kinks.

71. Promotes body positivity and acceptance.

72. Encourages healthy communication about boundaries.

73. Lets you experience pleasure in new and exciting ways.

74. Reinforces the joy of teasing and denial.

75. Allows for playful banter with your Domme.

76. Helps you develop a unique identity within the kink community.

77. Provides a safe space to explore your desires.

78. Promotes trust and communication with your Domme.

79. Lets you focus on other areas of your sexuality.

80. Inspires creativity in how you please your Domme.

81. Helps you learn the nuances of submission.

82. Creates a thrill in the anticipation of release.

83. Encourages you to think about your desires more deeply.

84. Allows for intense mental stimulation through denial.

85. Promotes a sense of adventure in your experiences.

86. Provides a fun way to bond with your Domme.

87. Teaches you to embrace your submissive nature fully.

88. Lets you discover the joy in servitude.

89. Helps you appreciate the beauty of restraint.

90. Encourages you to develop your fantasies.

91. Teaches you to savor every moment of your submission.

92. Provides a unique thrill that can enhance your daily life.

93. Lets you focus on the connection with your Domme.

94. Promotes personal growth and self-discovery.

95. Helps you understand the significance of power exchange.

96. Creates a space for open conversations about your desires.

97. Lets you enjoy the feeling of being wanted and needed.

98. Inspires you to become the best sub you can be.

99. Helps you appreciate the journey of submission.

100. Reminds you that serving your Domme is the ultimate pleasure.

[hedgehog-moss]

Look at the delicious sushi for llamas I made today:

It's courgette stuffed with deworming paste and thanks to Poldine my plan went swimmingly. Pampelune is sometimes distrustful on deworming day, but when they saw Poldine get a treat then try to steal the other treats which were obviously meant for them, the other animals hurried to claim their own medicinal courgette as well.

Except Pampe. (How many times have I written these words.) She looked at her sushi, looked at me, sniffed every side of the courgette, decided it smelled like deceit, and walked away.

I felt daft for not going the muesli route straight away. Like all great tricksters Pampérigouste is suspicious by nature but she can't resist muesli. So I un-stuffed the courgette and used the sticky deworming paste to fashion a little muesli ball.

It was gooey and not very appetising but it's muesli, right? I camouflaged the muesli ball in a dish of innocent muesli and offered it to Pampe, but unfortunately she was now very aware that I was up to something. Instead of mindlessly vacuuming the contents of the muesli dish as she usually does, she examined the strange slimy little ball, pushed it away with her nose with obvious contempt, then ate the normal muesli. I tried (with increasing insistence and frustration) to convince her to eat the damn muesli ball, but no.

New idea: I went to the kitchen to get some pumpkin rinds, and squished the muesli ball between two small pieces of pumpkin skin like a Choco BN (if you're from the US, picture an orange worm-killing Oreo). Pampe likes pumpkin skin! I tried to explain to her that she would be punishing only herself if she refused the (admittedly deceitful) offering out of principle.

Somehow she managed to eat the outside 'biscuits' and spit out the stuffing.

At this point I had to shame her. (I told her to look ashamed for this photo; not sure she understood the assignment)

I had exhausted my creativity and had nothing left but the mean method. I got Pampe in llama jail, aka the school room where I spent many hours trying to teach her to wear a halter and be a good docile llama when she was little, while she spent many hours trying to escape by any conceivable means—high jumps, bribery, tunnels, you name it.

(In the background behind Poldine you can see the bag of hay that I used to get the llamas to follow me into the corral. Pampe naively thought I had given up on trying to make her eat gross slimy things and was about to give her a normal meal)

She tried a strange kind of escape this time around, which honestly might have worked if she were a swift salmon returning to her natal river to spawn, slicing against the current in a series of graceful, forward-arching curves. But she's a llama. It's like she forgot she wasn't all neck and also had a body that needed to clear this obstacle.

I sang her a little song to soothe her, and scritched her face, and managed to get a llama kiss which is more affection than I've ever received from a currently-jailed Pampe—her daughter really is a good influence on her!

So of course I took advantage of this moment of calm and trust to stick my hidden secret syringe in the corner of her mouth and push 2cm of deworming paste onto her tongue.

She was VEXED and WROTH.

We were talking about learning poetry by heart the other day; well, if Pampérigouste did that, "I am rowing (a hex poem)" is the poem she would have invoked in that moment.

After I left, all the other animals hurried into the corral to eat the hay I had used to get Pampe in, while Pampe turned her back on the meal and walked away a strategic distance, far enough to show me that she felt betrayed and would never eat any food I bring her ever again, not so far that she couldn't go back in and fight the donkey for what was left of the hay as soon as I stopped looking.

[the-tarot-witch22]

Profession of your future spouse - Pick a pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2

Pile 3/ Pile 4

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

Note : This reading is based on my intuition and channeled messages from tarot cards.

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Pile 1

The cards I got for you - ace of wands, 3 of cups, 3 of pentacles, the chariot

1. Creative jobs (Graphic Design, 3D, interior, photography, anything to do with creativity they might be into art too.) In which they have to use their hands, they can be good with their hands as well.

2. Event planner, wedding planner, some sort of celebrative type of occupation like a DJ, or they might own a bar.

3. They can be a teacher/leader/boss/ higher or upper position than you, project manager, they are very well respected in their work.

4. Leader, medics, a politician? something to do with ethical hacking or computer.

Pile 2

(The cards I got for you - 6 of cups, 3 of swords, 4 of swords, the star, or hierophant)

1. I feel daycare teacher, or babysitter in their free time, taking care of children's and animals, they might teach younger childrens.

2. Sports or athletic

3.Nurse, surgeon, therapist.

4. Teacher again or own an institute or teach somewhere online (they might know two languages)

5. Manager

Pile 3

(Queen of wands, The magician, two of pentacles, knight of swords)

They find hard to balance between work and personal life but they do it, flawlessly.

1. Model, (something to do with their looks) , confident job, like they need to be confident in their own body, even can be famous or a bit known in crowd.

2. They are very skilled they might have juggled many jobs and they are good in all type of things

3. Sales executive, Carpenter

4. Call center, the kind of work they need to give order to someone

5. Their work might require travelling.

6. A navy officer, cop

7. Advocate, CEO, business person

8. med field (ayurvedic type or medicine pharmacist)

Pile 4:

The cards I got for you - Ace of pentacles, 4 of wands, 8 of swords, king of cups and wheel of fortune)

The work they do might have them be overwhelmed orburdened, like stressful but they love their work.

1. Bank worker or finance like finance analayst, tech, data scientist, data analyst.

2. Wedding planner, or they work something in event planner.

3. counsellor in schools, or judge.

4. They might deal with criminals too in a way, or might involve to travel, military.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[beefboyandbabygirl]

I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL (18+)

pairing: student!brother's bff!seokmin x student!good girl!reader

genre: college au, brother's best friend au, smut (MDNI), bit of crack, a small bit of angst but not nearly as much as most of my fics

description: when you head out for college, you incidentally end up at the one your bother's best friend has disappeared to 2 years prior. now, seokmin has promised your brother, vernon, to teach you and take care of you while you're away from home. unfortunately, it seems vernon should have been a bit more specific about what exactly seokmin was supposed to be teaching you.

warnings: vernon is ur overprotective brother, seokmin is not a dilf unfortunately, dirty talk, masturbation (male and female), fingering, slight restraint?, praise (f. receiving), pet names (good girl is so overused), teaching, innocence kink, corruption kink, oral (m. receiving), tiddie play, alcohol consumption, a bit of pining, shame on the readers part, she feels a bit like a slut for a moment, kinda brief mention of miscarriage? for like a metaphor lol, jeonghan is hot in this, giselle is ur bff and i almost gave up my mission and made this whole fic ab her shes so hot, ok i think thats it

quotes my creative director (@joshibambi): "just admit u wanna bang son", "o is for orgasm", "the urge to be the younger sibling for once"

wordcount: 15.9k

a/n: the way this fic took me years to write. i hav been busy :( thank u 2 every1 who liked girl code uve made my whole year :D hope u like this one 2!!

You preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. He wasn’t your best friend, he was Vernon’s, and yet he made it so easy to feel comfortable, so easy to feel like you were the one he came over for. 

You crushed on him back then, wrote countless diary entries about him and his stupid, beautiful smile. But it had been so forbidden, you remembered feeling that, because of how Vernon had groaned at you to leave every time you peaked your head through the living room door, masking your insistent eyes on Seokmin with simply wanting to “watch a grown up movie”. Sighing, you’d turn back to your princess pink room, and the boundary - the Vernon shaped boundary - that stood between you and Seokmin grew farther.

It had almost been a relief when Seokmin left for college. That was the most terrible thing, the relief you felt while your brother was grieving the sudden separation with his best friend. But your heart simply couldn’t help but let out a long sigh - years of yearning for him when he was so close by. You felt that cool wash of repose when that border between you and him had disappeared from your view. Years of watching it, wondering whether to pad closer or turn away from it, became a distant memory. For two years you were almost a normal girl and a good baby sister. 

Then it was your turn to head off for college. The nearest, big college to you accepted your application and you still distinctly remember dinner with your parents and your brother, how’d they’d cheered and clinked glasses and looked at you adoringly, because you were growing up right before their eyes. Then under the faint light of the restaurant chandelier, your mom had said something that immediately sent you hurdling back to that old, distant boundary: “Maybe you’ll see Seokmin there!” 

How had you forgotten? You supposed in that time you’d let yourself be more taken with the relief. It was the thought that he would be gone that had distracted you from exactly where to. And there you were with all your moving plans and your packed backs, and your glass raised and frozen in the air and your eyes wide. 

Then came the reasoning: surely, you could avoid him? It was a big college, there were plenty of people. There was no logical reason you’d really have to see him. Except for Vernon, of course. Ever so oblivious, your brother had called up Seokmin to tell him the good news, and to tell him to take care of you and protect you. And Seokmin was so sweet, of course, he’d take care of his best friend’s baby sister. 

And there you were at college. All grown up.

In your defense, you had avoided him skillfully. You’d turned down his request to help you with unpacking, turned down his tour of the school (that you’d actually desperately needed - why is room 240 not with all the other 40’s?!), and most of all, you’d turned down every single message inviting you to a party. 

I guess to him that was a perk; partying with the older kids. He knew you after all. He knew that you were a quiet girl and you stayed within your neatly laid brick walls, and he knew you were shy, and he knew you needed help letting loose. He knew you were a good girl. 

Which is why it wasn’t surprising at all that you turned down his offers - wanting to stay focused on school. At least, that’s what you told him. Truth was even being in his vicinity had put you much closer to that boundary you’d never dared cross. You were afraid even just seeing him would send you hurdling back, like a leaf in the wind. So you didn’t go. 

For a while, at least. 

“This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Giselle whined and you shook your head adamantly. “Absolutely not.” 

“Well, maybe not for you, but for me!” she argued. “I can’t believe you’re consistently being invited to parties with hot, sexy men, and you’re turning it down because of one guy!” 

You were currently sitting in the library with your roommate, Giselle, and you’d made the unfortunate mistake of telling her about your predicament after receiving yet another invitation to a party tomorrow. Giselle was throwing a temper tantrum because she had never ever had anything as ridiculous. 

You liked Giselle a lot. She was very different from you - she was hot. You weren’t - you were cute. Giselle held boys on leashes and made them do homework for her. She liked partying and sexy, black dresses. You were a fucking nerd, and cute was the highest compliment you had ever received for your looks. Even though you were different, Giselle had immediately taken a liking to you. You had initially feared she would think you were lame, but she was so nice - except for right now.

“Come on, Y/n, there are, like, no cute guys in our year!” she said pleadingly, clasping her hands together and pouting, but you shook your head.

“You don’t understand, Giselle,” you murmured solemnly, trying to regain your focus on the science textbook in front of you. 

“I understand perfectly well,” she said and you eyed her suspiciously. “I understand that you’re a bitch!” 

“Alright, that’s unnecessary,” you said, closing your book. You pinched the bridge of your nose, when she went on. “No, honestly, Y/n. You’re a virgin, right?” 

You snapped your head towards her in shock. Your eyes darted around frantically, before you leaned over the table to whisper to her: “How do you know that?” 

“Don’t embarrass yourself, honey,” she grinned, holding back laughter and you rolled your eyes, sighing. “And what about it, Giselle?” 

“How are you ever gonna get yourself out there if you’re constantly caught up on this guy and trying to keep away your feelings for him? You’ll stay a virgin forever, girl. You need to look him in the eyes and realize you’re above that childish crush!” 

You stayed quiet, slumped in on yourself with your book in your lap. Why was she making sense? 

You’d never thought about it that way. That your infatuation with your brother’s best friend was somehow holding you back from exploring and evolving as a woman. That maybe having him in the back of your mind every time you’d shyly made out with guys in high school, had been the thing that stopped you in your tracks. 

“I can see it on your face, you know I’m right,” Giselle smiled smugly from behind the screen of her laptop. “Unless you’re asexual. In that case, fierce, but if you’re not, like, get out there, queen. Sometimes you need to realize that you have to leave one dick for another dick because the other dick is so good.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Is.. Is this still about me?” 

“No,” Giselle shook her head.

“Okay, yeah, ‘cause- ‘cause that didn’t..”

“Yeah, I know. I was more so, uh, angling-”

“Right-”

“Angling the story to- to my current situation.”

“I get it, yep.” 

There was a moment of silence. You pursed your lips and looked at the message on your phone. Then you started typing.

“Are you telling him you’re coming with your super sexy, hot friend?” 

“Yes.” 

“Y/N, I LOVE YOU.” _____________________________

Regret was a nasty, old demon on your back and it had twisted and tugged at your guts, while you let Giselle get you party-ready. You’d sat on her bed, in her dress, and having her put her makeup on you, you’d sulked and tried to shrug off your back.

“You look so hot when you actually try,” she’d giggled, using a fluffy brush to spread the bake underneath your eyes.

“Thanks,” you’d mumbled, and she’d paused her movements, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, sitting back on her knees. You had sighed, reaching a hand up to run it through your hair, but pausing midway when you realized you would ruin the styling Giselle had worked so hard on. You lowered your hand again.

“I’m not sure about this,” you’d murmured and she frowned genuinely. “Y/n, I meant what I said. I know I talk a lot about boys and stuff, but you really shouldn’t let yourself be held back by him!” 

Before you could speak again, Giselle had tugged you off the floor to stand in front of her mirror. 

“Look at you,” she’d cooed, clapping your shoulders. “You look so pretty!” 

You’d smiled a little shyly, looking at your form in the mirror abashedly. You were pretty. Not cute, not nerdy; pretty. Curves hugged tight by a sleek, black dress from Giselle’s closet, this was a version of you that could actually see having sex - seducing men, gaining from her looks.

“I guess you’re right,” you’d said sheepishly, and Giselle had smiled sincerely and you’d let her take you to the party down the streets in a nearby frat house, and you’d almost not wavered when you stood right in front of it, music blasting out of every crevice. 

But then you were inside and he was right there. For the first time in two years, he was there, and he was so hot. He was wearing a white tee and a fucking silver chain, and, God, when did he start working out, because his arms were so big and so toned. And his hair was fluffy and dark brown, and his face was slim, and the tops of his cheekbones were shining under the kitchen lamp, where he was talking to some other guy, arm flexed, as he leaned against it on the counter. 

If there was one thing about Seokmin that had stayed the same it was that smile. He wore it now, laughing, as he talked to some blonde guy about something, and you wanted to scream because, there it was. The boundary, the ledge, the line, whatever, it was right before you again, right there with him. And all the feelings that came with it, your heart, wet and red in your throat, a brew of anxiety in your stomach. 

Without sparing even a second, you’d clasped onto Giselle’s wrist, tugging her into a herd of anonymous people, and just walking. Walking, walking, pulling her along (she countered only with a “hey!”) only for you to hit a wall or something, just as long as you were far, far away from him. 

“What the hell?” she said, when you finally stopped walking because you’d entered the living room, which was apparently more exclusive, as only a few people populated it, including a couple that was making out on the far end of the couch. 

“He was there,” you gasped dramatically, as if you’d seen a ghost. “I-I can’t do this, Giselle.” 

“Relax, babe, it’ll be fine. You’re away from him now, aren’t you?” Although she was trying to be supportive, you could tell she was growing a little tired of your theatrics. You couldn’t care less though, you were panting, and peering over her shoulder to see if he was somehow coming towards; and, God forbid, smile at you with that angel grin. 

Giselle followed your gaze and sighed, brows furrowing. “How about I get us some drinks? Then you can let loose a little.” 

You nodded absently, following her lead when she pulled you to sit down on the couch. You clambered to the couch rest, when she walked away, swaying her hips to the music. 

You might’ve looked different, but you were still you. The entire scene had you uncomfortable, and you were still the shy, unconfident and nerdy girl. You cursed yourself for letting Giselle’s reassurances fool you - you would never be this type of person, and you would surely never get over Seokmin. She’d been wrong about everything. 

“You okay, darling?” 

You jumped at the voice, eyes darting up to see who it was. 

You didn’t know him. He was handsome, though, but you’re not even sure you’d call it that. He was pretty, and he had long, black hair and big eyes and he was giving you this teasing smile, that was doing nothing to ease your nerves.

“I’m good,” you squeaked, gaze moving to a nearby pair of shoes in the corner of the room. You heard him chuckle, before he dropped into a squat before you. One lean hand came up to your knee, giving it a squeeze. “You just look so nervous, pretty,” he sat down an anonymous cup of liquor. “I don’t think I know you. Can you tell me your name?” 

The hand on your knee burned into you, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin and he was looking at you so intently, it had you sputtering. “Uhm, uh, Y/n.” 

His thumb froze. You looked over at him curiously to find this dumbfounded expression on his face, devious grin spreading on his pretty features. He chuckled and cleared his throat, face dropping down before he moved it back to look at you again. 

“You’re the girl Seokmin’s always inviting over here?” 

You nodded shyly and he smiled at you. “I’m Jeonghan.” 

“Hi.”

A pause. Jeonghan squeezed your thigh, watching in delight at the way you screwed your eyes shut. 

“You know, I just didn’t expect you to look like this,” he said finally and, sensing your confusion, he teasingly added: “The girl who’s always turning down parties to study.” 

You blush deepened, cheeks furiously rosy, as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “I borrowed my friend's clothes,” you breathed, pursing your lips. “Ah!” Jeonghan gently patted the top of your thigh, nodding along exaggeratedly, “You borrowed your friend’s clothes! I see!” 

He studied you while you giggled at his antics, still refusing to look him in the eye, really. He was almost suffocating, his hand on your thigh and his eyes boring into your face, and his cologne in a constant stream in and out of your nostrils. But suffocation, you decided, was almost better than being around Seokmin and having him parade his kind heart and his thick arms and his sweet smile, and just how off-limits he was. 

Ripping you from your thoughts, Jeonghan stood up, placing both hands on the tops of your thighs and bending down to your face, so his nose was buried in your cheek.

“Look at me, darling,” he whispered, then pulled his face away from yours, just enough so you could gaze into his brown eyes. His hands were much higher now, squeezing hard at the plush of your thighs, dangerously close to your center and only separated by the thin fabric of Giselle’s dress. 

“There she is,” Jeonghan smiled, voice a whisper. His lashes came over his eyes, when they flitted down to your lips. “Don’t you wanna come with me upstairs, and I can make you feel really, really goo-”

“JEONGHAN! GET OFF OF HER, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BABY SISTER!”

There’s a voice you know.

From across the room, Seokmin had burst through the mass of people, now power-posing with an extended finger in the direction of where Jeonghan was tilting over you, rubbing your thighs, as you sat innocently before him. 

Jeonghan stood up, taking all of his heat and his suffocation and cologne with him, groaning and throwing his head back. “Seokmin!” he whined and he was suddenly no longer so suave and seductive. 

“No, I won’t hear it, Jeonghan,” Seokmin said and, as much as you knew Seokmin to be sweet and tender and lovely, there was this crystal-clear anger in his voice. He walked over, one large hand pushing at Jeonghan. “Go get any other girl and sleep with her, just not her. Get your sorry ass out of here.” 

Apparently Jeonghan sensed the same thing you did - a rare anger in Seokmin - because he didn’t put up much of a fight at all, only smiled at you apologetically (and then, when he was behind Seokmin, gave you a small, devious wink - he just couldn’t help himself). 

You couldn’t focus much on Jeonghan at all though. Because Seokmin was standing in front of you, all muscle and huge fucking thighs by your head, and when you dared to tilt your gaze up to him, you saw how all that anger simply melted away. 

“Hey,” he breathed, smiling softly.

“Hey.” 

Then his eyes darkened, if only for a moment, as they traveled over your figure, gift-wrapped in that tight, black dress. His jaw clenched and he looked around for a moment. When he looked at you once more, he was giving you that smile - the one you’d fallen in love with - and the chocolate in his eyes was melting.

“Come on,” he ushered gently, one hand carefully guiding you off the couch. “Let’s go to my room where there aren’t any scary, evil, mean men.” 

Despite being so on edge, so jittery, as you followed him up some distant staircase, you couldn’t help but laugh at those words. He was talking exactly like he had when you were kids. That was how you preferred to remember him; all small and young and with a swanky bowl cut, and he’s the exact same way with you, hand warm in yours, as he guides you through the house. 

“Why’re you laughing?” he smiled, and you suppressed your own, trying not to dwell too much on how fast your heart was beating. “It’s just like before,” you quipped and Seokmin’s hand squeezed yours in understanding. 

He lumbered down the hallway and at its very end, preceded by rows of white oak doors, he opened his own with a twist and a turn of the brass-blend knob. When he closed it, the party became muffled around you, as if his room was filled with water, and now the rest of the world was a garbled mess, and you were drowning.

His room was clean. You supposed Seokmin had never been the messy type - not even when infected by the influence of Vernon. He had a half-open closet, where you spotted folded clothes, and a circle rug and purple and green lava-lamp plugged in on his nightstand. 

Seokmin apparently did not think it was clean enough, because he swooped down gallantly to grab a tossed sweater, smiling at you sheepishly when he held in between his fingers. You stared at him.

You felt like a kid again. Felt like just a young girl, creeping through the crack in the living room door, and looking at his silhouette, outlined by some grotesque horror movie playing on the TV. His sharp nose, when he turned to Vernon and laughed, his hair, all poofed and tousled and scruffy, and his smile. 

And you’d let yourself fall into this trap, maybe to some extent you’d even wanted it. Because now he was right in front of you, and so was that damned barrier, right by your outstretched fingertips, and you could almost envision yourself climbing over it - climbing into his lap and-

“I didn’t think you’d ever come,” Seokmin said gently, a permanent, small smile frozen on his lips. You coughed, unready. “Uh, yeah, my friend- my friend thought I should try and.. You know, get myself out there.” 

Seokmin studied you, bemused and fond, fiddling with the baby blue sweater in his hands. You were looking back cautiously, as if assessing a threat, but the threat was the sweetest, kindest boy in the whole wide world. 

“Yeah, well,” he cleared his throat suddenly, ripping his gaze from you to fold the sweater onto his desk chair. “I’m sorry about Jeonghan, he’s.. You shouldn’t, uh..” Now neatly folded, you saw him rubbing the sweater between his fingers. “You should stay away from him.” 

“Why?” you asked, and it was genuine enough that Seokmin let out a sigh. 

“You’re too much of a good girl to be with him. He’s no good.”

A whimper clawed its way up your throat, bubbled from the depths of your belly, but you tamed it and settled on a light hum. You felt your underwear becoming a little sticky, and you wanted to die, because God, this was your brother’s best friend. They still facetimed every Tuesday and still played Fortnite together over Discord every Saturday. 

“College going good?” Seokmin asked, retreating from the sweater to sit down on his bed. He looked up at you brightly and patted the spot next to him. It felt like another trap, where the folds in the blanket curved down under his weight, and would eventually lead you into him. You sat down hesitantly. 

“It’s okay,” you breathed, folding your hands and in your lap and tensing your shoulders. Seokmin, fully relaxed and slumped, noted your posture and slid his hand over the exposed skin of your back. “Hey,” he whispered, so intimate it hurt your heart, “hey, hey, relax, Y/n. It’s just me.” 

His eyes were soft and full of concern when he spoke quietly again, his voice almost a backdrop to the muffled sounds of dancing college students: “You know, Vernon was really concerned about how you would do away from home.” 

“I’m not doing bad!” you said quickly, dismissing it immediately. Seokmin stared at you. “I just- this isn’t really my scene.” 

His hand felt searing hot on your back, where it slid up and down, almost coaxing you further into him. He hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” 

Then: “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to come. Just figured you might want that street cred of being friends with the upperclassmen.”

You snorted and, cheeks rosy as ever, started giggling, eyes still cemented to the floor. Your hair was falling gently over your face, wisps of baby hair tickling your forehead. 

“It’s okay,” you sighed away the laughter, “You were just trying to get me out of my shell. I appreciate it.” 

Seokmin smiled at that. His hand dropped from your back and you both stared into the expanse of his room. A small window to let in the rain, the moonlight separated by the grid, and the curtain blowing in a solemn breeze. You and Seokmin sat, both very small suddenly, like kids, on the edge of the bed and became speckled in starlight, in diamond-dust. 

Then Seokmin was doing it. He was letting you be comfortable, letting you slip into a dazed joy, intoxicated from his presence. He was asking about your teachers, exams, friends, experiences, and you were both laughing together, and once again you were forgetting that Seokmin was your brother’s best friend, and he was not with you for you, but he was simply talking to you out of courtesy to your brother. He let you forget.

“You going home for the break?” he asked then, room quieted down from all the laughter. The fall break, starting tomorrow, you remembered. You’d thought about going home, but had opted to text your parents that you were staying, wanting honestly to stay in your dorm room and work on assignments and organization and just lull in bed, instead of being taken up, down and everywhere in your hometown. You shook your head. 

“Really? Me neither,” he said, brows raised. “Won’t you get lonely?” 

You giggled shyly. “Maybe a little.” 

“We could hang out,” he breathed, and at that you tasted the boundary between you, felt it firm under your fingertips, because you couldn’t discern whether he was protecting his friend’s baby sister or if he actually liked talking to you, and your heart beat and yearned and hoped for the latter. 

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded, melting when you saw his smile reach his eyes. 

“Didn’t you always like, uh, Mario Kart? You always wanted to play with me and Vern,” Seokmin said, but he was looking distantly into the window. You almost wanted to cry because he remembered you, remembered things that you liked. “I got it on my Playstation, we can play tomorrow.” 

“I’d like that,” you said.

Then Seokmin was loaning you his hoodie, and, bathed in his warm, tender smell, he followed you home under the moon, glaring at Jeonghan on his way out. 

“Keep the hoodie,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly when you stood in front of your dorm door. “It’s cute.” 

He patted your head and left, thankfully before he could see how red your face was, and how you were absolutely about to blow up from unfiltered joy. You shuffled into your dorm room and tried to soothe the basking butterflies in your stomach and your burning heart. 

Was he standing right across from you on that line, waiting to cross? _____________________________

Giselle woke up just early enough to catch you switching between different button-up dresses, throwing one on, looking in the mirror, and deciding to try another. She was groggy and tired and somewhat hungover, and needed to catch a train, so she could get back home. 

“What are you doing?” she cried, rubbing her eyes. You scurried back and forth trying on another dress, considering white tights, then white socks, then adjusting the tone and volume of your blush.

“I’m-” you gasped in between your hard labor, “I’m seeing a boy!” 

This caught Giselle’s attention. She shot straight up in her bed and looked at you with huge eyes. “No way!”

“Yeah way!” you giggled deviously. You turned around to face her. “What do you think of this outfit?” 

“You look cute!” Giselle praised, nodding to your red strawberry dress and your knee-highs. You slumped. There it was again - cute. Not hot, not pretty, but cute. That was what you were; like a child, like the kid Seokmin knew years ago, like his best friend’s baby sister. Nothing more.

“Who is this mystery guy?” Apparently Giselle was too busy rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see how her compliment had deflated you.

“It’s Seokmin. My-”

“Your brother’s best friend?!” She gasped. It was one shock after another from you that morning. “I wanna say I’m disappointed in you, but.. If you pull this off you’re way freakier than me.” 

“We’re not gonna have sex!” you groaned, pouting as you hastily shoved on your shoes. “We’re gonna play Mario Kart.” 

“Right, this cute guy just invited you over for Mario Kart and nothing else, I get it,” Giselle said sarcastically. 

“You don’t know him,” you mumbled defensively, shoes on and now staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “Cute,” the mirror spat at you.

“All men are the same,” Giselle rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the bed. You snorted and began to walk out the door.

“Y/n, wait!” 

“Hm?” 

Halfway out the door, a tote bag slung over your shoulder and ready to step into the sunlight, you peered back into the room. Giselle, in her sweats and hair fussed, stumbled blindly towards the door. She reached into her pocket and produced a-

“A condom?!” you shrieked, outraged. And not just any condom: a condom in white packaging with the lettering “I ❤️ DILFS”. You truly did not understand how Giselle managed to be a caricature of herself time after time.

“You need to wear protection, he’s in a frat, right?” she shrugged. You glared at her. “I’m not bringing a condom.” 

“Alright, I guess,-” Giselle pretended to think, “I guess, you’ll just have to get chlamydia.” 

You stared at her for a moment, bristling. Then you snatched it out of her outstretched hand.

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“You’re a prude.” 

“Goodbye, Giselle!” 

The condom slipped into your tote with ease to lay snug with all your other items and then you were out the door and heading towards Seokmin’s frat house. The sun was dulled by a few clouds, but it was still shining. Leaves were turning brown and red and yellow and were falling from trees to crunch underfoot - everything was lovely.

But the expanse, in your head, was much different. In your head you were traveling the soft dunes of a desert, spotting in the brown and red and yellow horizon a cleft in the sand. When you reached it, wide and long, seemingly endless to each side of you, you were standing right in front of Seokmin’s house.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, knuckles white where you grasped your tote, and eyes big and heart pounding. What if Giselle was right? Did you want her to be right? Would you even be able to please him if she was? Half-heartedly you tried to push away the images of Seokmin pushing into you, arms flexing on either side of your head, that spawned alongside the thought. Maybe you straddling him, his hands on your ass, his head buried in your chest, or-

“Y/N!” 

You jumped, clutching your bag tight, when you snapped your head up to the voice. It was Seokmin and he was waving at you from his upstairs-window, smiling so brightly you swore the sun reflected off of his teeth. 

“What are you standing there for, come inside! Door’s unlocked!” he yelled, body disappearing in the window. You stared at the window for a moment, his presence now absent, before you nodded to yourself in reassurance. You could do this, right? Just Mario Kart and small talk.

Truth was, you couldn’t do this. Not even in the slightest. You and Seokmin sat cross-legged on his bed, TV on the wall before it, drinking soda and crunching on chips. Seokmin was drenched in a green, fuzzy sweater, collarbones peeking over the rounded neck, and fingers peeking through the sleeves, where he held his controller, and God forbid, his hair was all soft and fluffy, and he was wearing fucking puppy socks. 

And he was competitive, too. He was leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he sped through the course. You huffed when he blue-shelled you, and you tried to refocus.

“I thought you said you were good?” he teased, eyes leaving the screen for only a second to look at you - you, dress bunched up to your thighs and tongue peeking through your pretty, subtly red lips. A second was all that was necessary. 

Suddenly, his character (baby Daisy) swerved off-course, falling into the pit below and he screeched, seemingly genuinely sad, as your character (Toadette) overtook him, the little gold badge popping up in the corner to tell you that you were number one. 

“What were you saying?” you giggled cockily when you finished the last round, Seokmin unable to quite catch up to you in the last stretch. He threw himself back on the bed in defeat, groaning into his hand.

“I can’t believe I let you win,” he cried.

“Let me?” you repeated in disbelief. You scoffed and put down the controller, pretending that Seokmin lying all angelic on his bed sheets wasn’t making your stomach pinch with static. “Pretty sure that was just pure skill on my part. Don’t blame me because you’re bad at Mario Kart.” 

A blow to his talents in Mario Kart was a blow to him. He snapped his head up to look at you, playfully angry. “Oh, oh wow, really? I’m bad at Mario Kart now?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, smiling cheekily at him. Seokmin studied you for a moment, before he shuffled into a sitting position. His gaze almost made you shy. Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?

Seokmin shuffled closer to you and you almost stopped breathing: “Don’t I remember you being ticklish?” 

You were almost so caught up in your fantasy to realize what he said. Your eyes widened in realization and you most immediately tried to twist your body away: a punishment was upon you.

“No- NO!-” You cried out but it was too late. Seokmin wrestled his body into yours, fingers dancing and prodding into your sides. Drowning in laughter, your face twisted into tortured pleasure, as you tried to bat his hands away. Your attempts were futile - each time you shuffled away, he followed right with you, fingers unrelenting as your torso twisted and turned. 

"Hehehehehehe- NO, PLEASE!- hehehehehehe!” 

Your knees pushed with all their might and you were almost able to drag yourself to the edge of the bed. There, you could gain distance and talk him down from beyond his desk. But Seokmin was smart. He sensed your escape plan when you squirmed away, and without much thought, he pulled his body on top of yours, weight pinning you down. 

You were still giggling and squirming, when his fingers finally let up. You were both panting from the excitement, Seokmin smiling down at you adoringly. Then, both of your smiles dropped.

It was like it took a few moments to realize; he was straddling you. Hips pushed into yours, all his weight rested on your crotch - your crotch, which was now pulsating. To make matters worse, the skirt of your dress had ridden up and most of your plush thighs were now visible to him, and your chest was halfway out of your dress, and your cheeks were flushed and your hair was spread out on the sheets beneath you. Seokmin seemed unsure of where to put his hands, while you both stared at each other, breathing in the thick, heavy silence.

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, I-” 

“I really- I don’t know what-” 

“Don’t worry-” 

You were pulling down your dress again, cheeks literally flaming red and bottom lip caught between your teeth. Silence swallowed you both whole. 

You wanted him back on your hips so bad. It hurt. You were aching in quick pulses, but you couldn’t even look at him. Surely, you thought, surely, he’d seen that look on your face, how your eyes clouded over with lust. Maybe he felt disgusted. 

“I better-” you hiccupped, voice small, “I better go.” 

Seokmin, eyes peeking at you through his lashes, feared he made you uncomfortable.

“Yeah, of course,” he mumbled.

You gathered your things and ran out of there, wetness gushing out of you. You tried to run, tried to create distance, but this time, in your mind’s eye, you ran in place, staying completely still by the cleft separating you and Seokmin. You fiddled with the edge, sand cascading into the empty, endless dark. 

There was no way you could make that jump.

That night you wished Giselle was by your side. You wrote an assignment, trying to ward off the embarrassment that stormed in your brain, when you got a message, that plunged you into rock bottom:

Lee Seokmin: hey you forgot smth at my house lol

Lee Seokmin: *Image Attached*

This was it. You were going to jump off a bridge (or a cleft in a dry, sandy wasteland).

As if your life couldn’t get anymore embarrassing: it was the condom. The white condom with “I ❤️ DILFS” on it. You damned that woman for ever making you bring it. What must he have thought of you? His best friend’s little sister trying to get in his pants? Your cheeks were burning and you threw your head into your pillow and screeched. Your life was over. It had simply ended now. There was no coming back from this. You huffed and removed yourself from its plushness. 

Maybe you could salvage it? Thinking on your feet, you replied:

You: OMG i’m so sorry!!!! i think that’s my roommate’s, she must’ve put it in my bag… :/ 

You: I’ll come pick it up ASAP :(((( 

You stared at your phone at the blatant. It was not a far stretch from the truth, but being caught with your hand in the cookie jar - or maybe more so the I ❤️ DILFS condom in your tote bag - it seemed like an irrationally shitty cover up. 

You gnawed at your lip when the three dots popped up next to his picture, and bit it to pieces waiting for his reply. You almost jumped when your phone buzzed:

Lee Seokmin: hahahahaha

Lee Seokmin: you can come pick it up tomorrow if u want? theres no rush 

You glared at the message. Laughter? Surely he hadn’t bought it. He was just trying to be nice, just trying to avoid you any embarrassment. The thought made you wanna throw up, how he felt this obligation to be nice to you when you had permanently scarred him (were you being dramatic?).

You: ok. im rlly sorry again!! i’ll pick it up tomorrow _____________________________

Tomorrow came much faster than you had hoped. No amount of tossing and turning could slow down the passage of time, and by the time you received Seokmin’s promised “I’m awake”-message, the embarrassment hadn’t faded one bit. 

Every discouraged moment of getting ready was haunted by your current situation, and you stopped to cringe every five seconds, causing an honest and diligent self-hatred to bubble within you. When you knocked on Seokmin’s door, you’d honestly never felt less confident in your life.

“Y/n!” he said enthusiastically. 

“Seokmin,” you said, less enthusiastic. 

He smiled at you sweetly, almost as sympathetically, before stepping aside. You furrowed your brow, not really understanding why he couldn’t just hand it to you at the door, but stepping inside nonetheless. “It’s in my room,” he offered, but could he not just have brought it with him? Did he have to prolong the shame even further? You followed him to his room.

In that moment you hated Seokmin for being who he was; for being sweet, gentle, caring, and gentlemanly. You would feel less pathetic if he yelled at you, if he was genuinely disgusted and wanted nothing to do with you. But there he was all smiling and supportive, and he wasn’t touching you at all, but he still felt like pillars on your back, soothing you and holding you up. 

“It was your roommate’s?” he asked absently as you traversed the halls. “Uh, yeah,” you answered sheepishly. 

“I can tell,” he threw his head back to you, and there was a huge grin on his face. A little bit of hope blossomed in your chest. “Yeah, I saw her at that party, you know? I think she slept with, uh, my friend, Minghao.” 

“That’ll be her,” you were smiling now too, and a huge wave of relief washed over you, as he at least let you believe that he thought it wasn’t your perversion bringing along that condom. 

Finally stumbling into his room, he did indeed pick it up from his desk, handing it back to you. You looked at it in his outstretched hand and blushed sheepishly. “Thanks,” you squeaked. 

Seokmin nodded in response. For a moment the two of you stood, uncertain of what to do and caught in the web of a terribly awkward silence. Seokmin’s eyes darted to the window and yours to the floor. 

“Hey, uh,” he giggled a little, scratching the back of his head. “I feel really bad for losing that Mario Kart game-”

You scoffed in response, but the facade of being peeved was falling apart, as you beamed up at him. 

“Maybe we could do, like, a quick rematch?” 

You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant with an ever-heavy flush in your cheeks: “I don’t back away from a challenge.” 

Seokmin won the rematch. This only spurred on another rematch, and suddenly there was no end to the madness. This time there was no awkwardness, no lingering silences. You were just giggling and strategizing, and throwing heat in the direction of your opponents. 

That uncomfortable, clamoring feeling left you, slowly. It became easy to forget it. That feeling that he was only there with you because of Vernon, that there was always some sort of demand, a twisting hand, forcing him upon you, and that you became a sort of burden on him. That was the thing about Seokmin, though, his ability to make you feel like his best friend; his ability to make him feel like he was there for you, even when he wasn’t.

It was only after an hour and a half or so, when Seokmin paused the game. 

“What the hell, Lee? I was just about to beat you!” you whined, crossing your arms. He nodded along, pushing himself off the bed. “Yes, I agree, which is why I’ve assessed that I need a refreshment.” 

“Oh, you’ve assessed?” 

“Yeah, I’ve assessed that I need a fresh, cooling drink in my gullet.” 

You both laughed a little and slumped back, dropping the controller. Seokmin smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “You want one?” 

“What are you getting?” 

“A beer,” Seokmin said. Rationally, you knew you shouldn’t accept. You were bad with alcohol, and everytime you drank just a little, a little easily became a lot. That was why you took yourself by surprise when your voice left your mouth, chipper and grand: “Sure!” 

One beer turned into another, and Mario Kart turned into talking on his bed, slumped into his fortress of pillows and giggling at his stories. You were a little tipsy, halfway into your second beer and your face was flushed and Seokmin was lying on his side, hand propped up under his head, as he made you laugh again. 

“Your kind of partying sounds… Extreme,” you murmured, rim of the bottle pushed against your lips where your words slightly slurred. Mario Kart and alcohol had gotten you a little out of your shell, and now you and Seomin were talking like friends - as if your brother didn’t even exist. You basked in the alcoholic buzz and in this reality, this hideout, where your lovely brother didn’t exist and the faint ache in your legs at Seokmin’s godly face in the bedside lamp wasn’t so utterly misplaced. 

“I think anything’s more extreme than your partying,” Seokmin mused teasingly. You huffed, putting down your beer and smoothing over your skirt. Everything was so lovely and artificially yellow and his body beside yours radiated pleasant heat. He was beautiful, you thought, looking at how the sweaters pooled on his torso and how his brown hair looked so soft and messy. You almost felt the absence of ground beneath you, when you imagined yourself at the cleft again.

“You don’t know about my kind of partying,” you joked and he chuckled softly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions.” 

You looked at him and he was suddenly serious. The smiley, gooey Seokmin was gone and his eyes, although not threatening at all, were prodding at you. Your smile fell. The alcohol at this time felt misplaced and wrong, the lightness felt wrong.

“Were you gonna, you know, go with Jeonghan at the party?” he whispered. The world was suddenly very quiet, as if it were following Seokmin’s tact. You grimaced a little. “No. No, not really.” 

He studied you. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, opting to look at your hands in your lap. “Why not?” 

A pause.

You began to pick at your own fingertips, nails digging into the cuticles. Seokmin’s eyes dragged from your face to your hands, and he scooted closer to you, only to cover your hand with his, stopping your movements immediately. Suddenly so close, his voice was whispered right in your ear, so soft and so gentle, it felt like a kiss: “Don’t do that.” 

You sucked in a breath, hands ripping to your sides to lay stiff. “I’m, uh, I’m not that experienced, so I..”

Your eyes flicked up to gauge his reaction. In your worst nightmares, you imagined a laugh breaking onto his face, maybe disgust, but you felt yourself melting. He looked at you so softly, like you were the most precious, fragile thing and his hand had stilled in the air after you pushed it off, as if, like the most enchanting artwork at a museum, he fought desperately not to reach out and touch you. 

It was unbearable - how still the air had become, how heavy you felt, how your chest struggled to expand. You talked again, if only to fill the air with your babbling: “I’ve not had.. I mean, I can hardly get myself off… So. I probably. Couldn’t. Get him off.” 

You realized about halfway through your sentence that you should not have said that. That last half of your sentence was a breathy mess, as your voice became shaky with humiliation. His gaze, a delicate constant, was not helping either. You felt tears welling up in your eyes suddenly and maybe that was the worst part. 

“You have trouble getting yourself off?” he repeated, as if to make sure. “Like masturba-” 

“Yeah, that,” you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to shut up forever, so you’d never have to know his reaction, or if you wanted him to talk and be able to sense how this information changed his perception of you. His voice came, in spite of whatever you had hoped.

“I figured you were a virgin,” he mumbled, voice half muted by the palm of his hand, “but I thought you at least masturbated-” 

“I do!” you defended yourself, voice much louder than his and brows furrowing and tears threatening to spill over your eyes. “I’m just- I’m not that good at it.” 

“Hey,” he said softly, hand landing on your arm. You immediately shut up, lip trembling when you struggled to meet his eyes. “Relax, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not judging you.” 

You nodded half-heartedly, still incredibly uneasy. 

“If you want…” Seokmin’s voice trailed off. His eyes ventured over your form briefly, licking his lips. “You know, if you want, I could teach you.” 

You looked at him silently. He seemed to snap out of whatever loopy trance he had been sucked into, because he was suddenly very jittery and scrambling through the bedsheets. “Uh, I mean- you don’t- God, I’m sorry- it was only if-” 

“Yes,” you said. His scrambling stilled immediately. His eyes were teacups. 

“You sure?” 

You nodded, not trusting your own voice. 

Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut, gulping as he sat back against the bed. His legs spread apart. “Come here,” he patted his thighs. 

You felt terribly sober. All that buzz and butterflies and blaze and blossom was gone and you felt like a doll, moving each limb individually, as you climbed into his lap, back to him. You were unable to think, unable to truly process what was happening, what it meant, as you felt his form engulf yours.

His hands found purchase on your hips and his breath was warm on your neck, as you felt every ridge of his abdomen on your back. His thumbs rubbed against your hip bone. 

“Okay, now show me how you usually do it,” his voice was a warm hum, a twinge of nervousness laced in it. Your face was lit ablaze and you squirmed in his hold, when one hand left your hip to gently push your legs apart. You sat, all open and held against him, dress keeping you covered.

“It’s embarrassing,” you huffed, being very serious, but Seokmin smiled and nosed your hair gently. 

“We can stop whenever you want, seriously, if you get uncomfortable, we stop” he reassured. 

“It’s just me.” 

It was. It was just Seokmin, your brothers best friend, the sweetest boy in the world, who used to have a swanky bowl cut and dorky school uniform and who was always Vernon’s most respectful friend, but he was hot and whispering into your ear and one hand was massaging the outside of your thigh. 

“Should I take my dress off?” you breathed, face turned halfway back to him. His hands squeezed at you in response and you could faintly make out his tongue sliding over his lips. 

“Only if you want, angel,” he whispered back, rubbing your sides tenderly. “We’re not doing anything you don’t want. Whatever makes you feel good. ‘M just here to help.” 

You nodded, and although the answer was maybe made to make you keep your dress on - a reassurance that there was no need to discard it - you removed yourself from his grasp, hands coming to tug your dress off. You felt a small boost of confidence when you heard Seokmin breathe out: “Shit.” 

Only in your bra and panties (terribly mismatched, your bra was black and your panties were pink), you leaned back into his hold, and you noted how Seokmin’s warm hands were much more careful now, splaying out on your bare skin. 

“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly. You nodded. He propped his head up on your shoulder, eyes cast down your almost-nude body, chest rising and falling. Your legs were closed again, he noticed, and his veiny hand reached down to open them again. “Show me how you do it, baby, so I can help you improve.” 

You gummed your lip, breathing in one last time, before your nervous fingers began dancing their way to your panties. They disappeared under the fabric for only a moment, before Seokmin spoke again.

“Sweetheart,” he tutted, hand wrapping around your wrist to stop its track. “Don’t just dive right in, you need to get yourself all hot first.” 

Your brows furrowed and some of the embarrassment you felt from being this exposed and pressed into Seokmin evaporated into genuine confusion.

“What? What do you mean?” you said, somewhat outraged, and Seokmin couldn’t help the laughter blooming in his chest at that. He vibrated against your back, hands smoothing down your arm. You pouted: “Don’t laugh at me, Minnie.” 

He stopped, still smiling as he nosed your temple. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head, that had your heart beating out of your chest. “You’re just so cute.” 

Cute. You remembered your disdain for that word, but somehow, when it came from his lips, it made you beam. Everywhere he touched left behind a hot, burning ghost on your skin.

“You just have to touch your body, sweetheart,” he said sweetly. You thrashed in defiance, crying out quietly with red cheeks. Wiggling your body angrily, you felt his dick half-hard in his pants against your lower back. 

“Can’t you do it?” you whined, wanting nothing more than for him to take over and make you feel good. He sucked in a harsh breath behind you, fingers wrapping around your hands to soothe you still. He seemed to debate your proposal, but eventually he kissed your shoulder and spoke: “Okay, baby, but you have to show me you understand, alright?” you nodded feverishly. “We’re trying to get you to learn.” 

The whole thing had you dizzy, warm and gooey in his hands, and grounding yourself on his solid torso. You had tunnel vision, unable to focus on anything but his warm hands and sweet voice, and how fucking hard he was. You leaned your head up to look at him pleadingly. Even upside-down he was pretty. He giggled at your starstruck expression.

“Look at my hands, pretty,” he tapped your nose and you scrunched it, turning down to your own body, where he sat his hands on your waist. “You do it like this.” 

His hands started dragging over your skin, creating constellations of ghosts on your skin. One dragged across your stomach and down your leg, squeezing it along the way, and the other brushed over your bra-covered chest, landing on your shoulder and collarbones. Then they moved oppositely, then diverged from their chosen paths, and you started breathing heavily. Pressure built up in your stomach and your panties, and you felt how slick started leaking out of you. 

“Feel good?” Seokmin grinned against your neck, listening to the melody of your panted gasps. You nodded earnestly, moaning softly. Seokmin furrowed his brows at that noise, pressing kisses to your neck appreciatively. “Good girl. Such pretty sounds.” 

Both of Seokmin’s hands dragged up to your ribs. There, they paused. “Can I touch your chest, baby?” 

“Please,” you whimpered, and earned another sloppy kiss to the cheek. His hands immediately grabbed ahold of your chest, softly rubbing it over your bra. 

“Does that feel good?” he whispered. You hesitated for a moment. “Um, I don’t feel much, honestly.” 

You’d expect him to be a little angry or defensive, but Seokmin only hummed and nustled himself into your hair. “Good girl. Good girl, being so honest with me. So pretty.” 

You whined at his praise and Seokmin smiled smugly, taking notice of how heated you got from his words. 

“The- the fabric is in the way..” you whimpered meekly, and Seokmin nodded in understanding, stroking your sides soothingly. 

“You want to take off your bra?” he hummed, truly as if it would not expose you to him, as if it weren’t a lewd and depraved scenario, but something as simple as the weather. You nodded, removing yourself from the harbor of his arms once more to remove it. You unclipped it and threw it God knows where, before settling back into him. Seokmin peeked over your shoulder at your now bare breasts, groaning a little and covering it up with a cough. This was about you. 

Seokmin placed his hands on your tits again, massaging and rubbing the soft skin, before he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples.

You moaned - for the first time it was a clear moan, seething from your throat and puffing into the air. “Sound so pretty,” he muttered in your ear. “You really like that, hm?”

He pinched your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his warm hands. Then, as soon as the pleasure had begun, it stopped, when his hands came to rest on the bed. You whined, twisting your head towards his, only to be stopped by fingers on your chin, turning you back forward. “Show me you can do it now, baby. You’re learning,” he reminded you.

 “But, Minnie, I want your hands,” you whined and he tutted softly in your ear. “I know, baby, but I need to know that you’re understanding this in that pretty little head of yours. Need to know you’re focusing. Come on, show me now.” 

Huffing, you placed your own hands (they somehow felt more foreign than his now) on your stomach and began to mimic his movements. You smoothed them up and down on your body, squeezing, then placed them on your chest, rubbing and pinching your nipples. 

“There you go,” he praised, and his hands had traveled to your shoulders, massaging them gently. You whimpered and turned your head to him again.

“Can you teach me how to touch my…” you trailed off.

“Your pussy?” he offered, as if it was nothing, as if it wasn’t vulgar or lewd. You nodded vigorously. Feeling him gulp a little, his hands became a little unsteady as they came to hold your waist again. “Can I hear you say it? Baby?” he asked and suddenly his voice was a little shaky, a little breathless. 

“Can you touch my pussy now, Minnie?” you asked, and any shame had been clouded over with lust. You’d never been this burningly bothered in your life, you needed him to touch you. He groaned, and this time he was unable to cover it up. You felt how his hard cock strained against his sweatpants, how it pressed into your back, and you wanted to touch it so bad. 

“Alright, baby, want your panties off?” His sharp nose was pressed into your hair. You shook your head. “Want them on.” 

He nodded. “Alright, jus’ tell me if you wanna stop, okay? I’m gonna touch you now.” 

His hand slipped under the waistband of your panties, disappearing under the pink fabric. As if they were always meant to be there, his fingers slipped through your folds, coming down to circle your slit in impossibly light figurations. 

“Shit,” he panted, grip on your waist suddenly bruising, as he tried to steady himself. “You’re so wet, baby, you like Seokminnie that much?” 

“Yeah, I do,” you nodded blindly, your own hands coming to grip onto his thighs. His middle finger danced upwards and pressed against your clit, and you immediately squeaked and shut your legs around his hand. 

“No, no, baby, don’t do that,” he frowned, hand that wasn’t buried in your pussy spreading your legs again. You felt how his legs, pressed against you, came to hook onto yours, forcing your legs apart with his own strength. He hummed in content. 

His finger pressed onto your clit again, and he felt how your legs tensed, straining against his to close. Your back arched and you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. He began rubbing it, and it was so intimate, how close you were to him, how his hand navigated your sopping wet pussy, fingers just rubbing you gently, and how bare you were, his eyes training over your bouncing tits when you thrashed. 

His fingers moved downwards again, gathering the wetness that was gushing out of you. Then, one long middle finger pushed into you. Canting into his hand, you moaned loudly and turned your head into his neck. Nosing the tan skin and inhaling his faint cologne, you began mindlessly kitten-licking the skin. His Adam's apple bopped under your tongue.

“You’re so tight,” he rasped, beginning to slowly push his finger in and out of you. His other hand had come to wrap around your waist in an attempt to calm the sudden bucking of your hips against his hand. 

His hand moved faster, obscene, wet sounds coming from your ruined underwear, where he worked diligently into your pussy. He slipped another finger in, and you cried from the stretch. It was becoming hard to contain you, thrashing and writhing against his hold, stuck between wanting to move closer and to move away entirely. His fingers tied a knot in your stomach.

“That’s right, pretty, tell me how good Minnie’s fingers feel,” he whispered hoarsely above your ear. You could almost only whine and moan, nipping at his neck a little. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” he warned.

“Feels so good!” you whined immediately, because if he stopped now, you figured you might start crying. “Feel so, so, so good, fuck, Seokmin, I’m-” 

“I know, baby, I know, but I’m teaching you, right?” 

Though your mind was fuzzy, you sensed what these words meant and panicked, hand coming down to grip his wrist in an attempt to hold him in place. “Please, please, please, Seokmin, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!” 

“Don’t talk back to me, sweetheart. I won’t stop, just talk to me. Tell me what you feel me doing,” pushing your head up again, Seokmin pressed his face against your cheek, so hard, you felt his humid pants against it. 

Your mind was so hazy, so transfixed on the feeling in your stomach and his finger in your pussy, you could hardly respond. 

“Tell me or I’ll stop, baby,” he reminded you again, and you scrambled frantically to focus. 

“Nngh! You’re- pushing in and out-” your voice broke, hips stuttering against his hand, that was continuing its remorseless pace. 

“Yeah, and?”

You furrowed your brows, lips trembling. “You’re- you’re curling them- A-ah!” 

“That’s right. Such a good girl. So smart and clever for me,” Seokmin whispered happily, his other hand slipping down your stomach to circle your clit. Both his hands working pleasure into your pussy, you cried out loudly, head pushed back into his chest.

“Just let go, baby, I can feel you clenching on me so hard. Wan’ me to stay in your pussy forever, hm? Just let go, cum whenever you want, wanna see your pretty face so bad,” somehow Seokmin was just as intoxicated off of lust as you, despite staying, hard and untouched, in his pants. But he babbled mindless praise to you, and you came to his sweet voice whispering in your ear.

Your orgasm sent you hurdling over the edge - the edge, the one you’d been standing at hopelessly for years. You flew across it and landed on Seokmin’s territory; in his arms. 

“Seokmin, a-ah!” you cried, releasing all over his fingers, coating them in your cum. Your entire body arched upwards, as you moaned into the night. Seokmin rode you through your high, pressing sweet kisses into your hair.

You fell limp against his body, worn out, when he finally retracted his fingers from your pussy. You snuggled into his sweater with a content hum. 

Seokmin smiled down at you, eyes brimming with fondness, as his cum-slicked hands wrapped around your torso in a hug, holding you into him. “You did so well,” he whispered genuinely. 

You looked up at him with a tired smile. “Thank you, Seokmin.” 

He held himself back from saying he would do that a thousand times over, in fact, he wouldn’t mind never pulling out - he could live with only one hand. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered: “Of course, darling.” 

Your brows furrowed and you pulled yourself away from him a little, eyeing the tent in his pants worriedly. “Do you want me to-” 

“No,” he shook his head decidedly. “No, I’ll take care of it.” 

You looked at him with big, innocent eyes, that only furthered the throbbing of his cock. Partially, he wanted to give in so badly. The thought of your hand around his cock, all pouty and innocent and confused, and how heavy it would be in your small hand, had made him cum more times than he’d like to admit. But, he reminded himself, this was about you. This was a favor. “Are you sure?” you asked softly.

“Yes, baby, go to bed. I’m gonna go get you some fresh clothes.” 

You snuggled into bed while Seokmin scurried away to fetch a shirt and some boxers, and when he came back you cooperated limply in taking off your panties, and putting on what he’d given you. You fell asleep in his bed, cuddling his duvet, and surrounded by his scent. 

Seokmin watched you in adoration. How peaceful you looked, chest rising and falling, and a little pout on your lips. 

He wandered through the house, trying simultaneously to get as far from you as possible, and also trying to decide which of his housemates he currently hated the most. He landed on Jeonghan, slipping into his empty room and settling himself on the bed.

There, he fisted his solid fucking cock and bucked into his own hand, eyes squeezed shut to remember how you looked under his hands, how you begged for him, how well you listened, what a good girl you were for him. His moans were trembling and muffled by his own hand, and when he came, he felt momentarily smug, looking at how it dripped over Jeonghan’s sheets (served him right). Then, post-nut clarity sank in, as he reentered his own room and cuddled into you on the bed. 

He felt almost despicable. He felt gross and evil and perverted and lewd, not because of you, but because, as if it were his first time realizing it, he remembered that you were Vernon’s sister. He remembered that he had promised to protect you from manipulative guys and always watch over you, and help you if you needed help, and report to Vernon if you were acting weird. Yet here he was, letting you cum on his hand and groping your tits, as if he was still that teenage boy with that swanky bowl cut. 

After an hour of chewing on his lips and frowning, Seokmin let your sweet perfume lull him to sleep. He dreamt of you. _____________________________

There’s a blissful instant that morning when you wake up, curled into Seokmin’s arms, head nuzzled in his chest. There’s a blissful instant when you tilt your head, staring at his sleeping face, and he’s so beautiful, features all soft and breathing rhythmically. There’s a blissful instant where you see him, and your heart weeps in your chest because he’s so gorgeous.

Then it’s gone.

A panic button is pressed in your head, and your nerve-endings, each one resting on him, begin burning. What had you done? Yesterday feels like a faraway dream, but he’s still wearing that sweater and it grounds you in the reality of what had happened. 

You’re lost. What did this mean for the two of you? Was Seokmin just lusting after you? But that couldn’t be right, you thought, because he’d insisted on only helping you, refused your offers to help him, which now was making you rot in his arms with guilt. Was this genuinely an attempt to help you? To be diligently by your side at the request of your brother? But surely this had been outside of the realm of what was acceptable to help your best friend’s baby sister with? Did that mean he liked you? 

Seokmin awakened from your sudden squirming, as if, with enough shaking and turning, that feelings and thoughts would just fall out of you. They didn’t, they stayed right where they were, and all you were given in return was Seokmin’s eyes fluttering open. 

You watched him go through that same process; the bliss came first and then the panic. Seokmin’s eyes went from adoring to wide and grave and suddenly he was shuffling away from you on the bed, creating a cool distance between you on the landscape of his mattress. You didn’t miss the pink dusting his cheeks.

“Uh- good morning,” he mumbled, and he could only look at his hands. Your throat was unbelievably dry. “Morning.” 

You’re not sure how you both managed, but you went through that morning without mentioning the previous night even once. The air was thick with tension, fleeting glances, and shaky hands, while Seokmin made you both bowls of oatmeal. You stood on the other side of the counter in his shirt and his boxers. 

You ate in his bed. It was silent and heavy and each clink of spoons against the bowl-rims had you both wincing. He put on a TV-show and you sat across from one another, chewing wordlessly to some drama in the background. Your belly was pooling with tension and light cascaded onto you, revealing your pores and flaws. Were you a bad person?

Finally, finally, Seokmin put down his spoon with yet another clink, fingers catching the bridge of his nose and eyes squeezing shut. He huffed into the palm of his hand, swallowing the oatmeal hard. 

“Uh-” he began and his voice cracked, “Y/n. About last night-” 

But you cut him off, and he couldn’t ever, even in his wildest dreams, have imagined that these words would come out of your mouth:

“I want to return the favor.” 

The words were almost spat and discarded, as if they’d been sitting on the tip of your tongue all morning with a foul taste, and you’d only now been able to rid yourself of it. Seokmin snapped his head towards you, a genuine surprise on his face, but he soon wished he hadn’t looked at all. 

You were so pretty, sitting cross legged in his shirt and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks all shiny in the morning sun. And there was this innocence to your eyes, big lashes shadowing it only a little; this earnestness that told him you really, really wanted to do this for him.

“I-” he chuckled a little, heart clenching at your sweetness, “I can’t ask you to do that.” 

“Well, it’s good that I’m asking you then,” you said, and though the comment was witty, when Seokmin looked at you again, he saw how careful you looked, and how unsure you were of yourself. 

“Listen, N/n,” he reached out to grab your hand, and it was burning into yours, each area of adjoined skin screaming at you with reminders of last night. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make you feel good, I was happy to just be of service to you-” 

“But I want to make you feel good,” you pouted, almost brattily. Seokmin’s gentle expression and tone faded into something darker, as his eyes flitted down to your exposed legs and your heaving chest. He swallowed, putting away his bowl of oatmeal and collecting himself. 

“Are you sure? You need to be absolutely 100% sure-” 

“I’m sure, Minnie. I want to-” you broke off your own words with a squeak, face becoming bright red. You leaned in self-consciously, as if to tell him a secret: “I want to suck your dick.” 

Your whispered admittance had him groaning, groaning at how sweet and innocent your voice was, how you couldn’t even say it loudly, you had to whisper the dirty word to him. He wanted you so badly, wanted to be the one to take away your innocence, to make you all dirty and beg for him, to make you thrash and whine and to teach you how to really feel good. He wanted you.

It’s like a switch had flipped, when Seokmin put his hand on the back of your head, and suddenly you were kissing again. The tension from before was replaced with something wholly different, something hot, something laced in the eye contact he gave you, before he leaned it again. 

And Seokmin was kissing you with a fervor that you recognized from yourself - you both wanted to forget. Wanted to forget Vernon, who, although a great brother and friend, had become a heavy strain on your relationship with Seokmin. So you kissed him and let his tongue in your mouth when it swiped over your bottom lip, and you sucked on it, and you let him and yourself get lost in each other.

The sound of smacking lips and saliva was so lewd too, especially when Seokmin’s hand pulled you from your spot on the bed and into his lap, hands roaming your body, while you tangled into his hair. He was half-moaning into your mouth by the time he pulled away, face flushed and eyes darker and lower and lips swollen red. 

“You gonna let me use that pretty mouth, baby?” he whispered against your lips, one hand palming over his cock through his boxers. You nodded, almost desperately, one hand reaching out to his in his lap. “Can I touch it?” 

Seokmin smiled fondly, looking down at where your small hand was outstretched towards his cock. “Yeah, baby, go ahead.” 

You were a bit clumsy at first, but soon enough you found its outline in his black boxers and you squeezed it a little. Seokmin crooked over, groaning into your shoulder. You felt him get harder and harder against your palm, a small smile at the desperate noises he was making. 

Seokmin had laid his cheek on your shoulder, neck twisting to stare up at you, while you focused solely on touching him, and he hated himself for getting even harder because it was you - you, who he had wanted for so long, who he was hugged into and lying on, while you touched his warm cock.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breathing heavily, and then smiling brightly when you became all sheepish, smiling and looking away, so that you had to pause your actions. He nosed into your neck, regaining some semblance of control over the situation, now that you weren’t touching him, and his breath was warm and humid on your skin. He pressed small kisses up to your jawline, nose flattening against you.

“So, so pretty. Fuck, imagining you with my cock in your mouth, all drooling and shit. Fuck, baby, you gonna let me fuck your mouth?” he rambled, hands finding home on your tits again. You whined and nodded, trying to pry him off of you. Immediately (forever struggling with a little concern that you might’ve changed your mind) he pulls away, looking up at you worriedly. 

“Don’t- don’t touch me, I don’t wanna get.. All hot,” you whispered those words that he had said last night, biting your lip in worry. “I want to do it now.” 

Seokmin melted completely, and in a complete inability to contain his adoration, brushed hair out of your face and pressed a million kisses to your cheeks and your nose. “Okay,” he said in between kisses, and you felt his smile on your skin, “okay, baby. But if it gets too much, tap my thigh three times, okay? If you need anything, if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“Yes, yes,” you huffed, pushing yourself away from him and hopping onto the floor, sinking to your knees before the bed. 

It felt completely unreal - to both of you. How you were suddenly on your knees and how he settled in front of you, bare, thick thighs on either side of your head. Everything was all light and all the places he’d kissed and touched had become holy and glowing on your body. He shimmed his boxers off and you gaped at the sudden exposure of his dick. 

He was hard. Apparently the kissing and groping had been enough, because it slapped against his sweater, leaking silky white liquid from the tip. And he was big - you didn’t exactly have a good point of reference, but you vaguely sensed from Giselle’s words that this was quite a feat. 

And actually seeing it brought a wave of uncertainty on you, not as to whether or not you wanted to do it, but how. So, you blinked up at him with a small frown, voice small when you spoke: “Seokmin.. How- how do I do it?” 

Seokmin practically glowed with adoration, when he petted your head and rubbed your cheek, seemingly so comfortable despite being totally bare. “You just put your lips around it and suck, baby, it’s easy,” he said softly, then added, a little panicked: “And be mindful of your teeth.” 

“But it’s so big,” you marveled, eyes trained on it, and he almost groaned at it, because you sounded so genuinely amazed, so disbelieving. 

“Just put your hands around the parts you can’t reach. I’ll be gentle, baby, don’t worry,” he said. You nodded hesitantly, leaning forward towards it, but his hand in your hair suddenly clenched and pulled you back. You looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with worry. “You do want this, right?” 

“Yes, please, stop being so- so gentle with me and let me suck your dick!” You whined, fed up with being treated like glass, and tugged his hand out of your hair. Seokmin visibly relaxed at your insistence, nodding. 

Finally, fingers grabbing the base of it, you wrapped your mouth around the tip. You were met immediately with the taste of his pre-cum, licking over where it leaked curiously. Seokmin’s hand found your hair again, gripping it tight to steady himself, as he groaned loudly. You slowly sank down, basking in the whimpers you ripped from his mouth.

“Fuck- you’re- you’re doing so good, baby,” he cried, face twisted in pleasure and head thrown back. You looked up at him and he was so pretty and glowing, panting into the air. 

You sank down as far as you could, feeling the tip sit snug against the back of your mouth, and your hands wrapped around the base of his dick. You looked up at him, experimentally squeezing, and pursing your lips around his dick to suck it carefully.

“A-ah! Fuck!” Seokmin cried, hand that wasn’t in your hair squeezing the edge of his mattress. His thighs were flexing on either side of your head. “You’re- you’re so good at this, sweetheart. Good girl, fuck, such a pretty girl for me, letting me use you like this.” 

You whined at his words, squeezing your thighs together. Seokmin’s hips bucked upwards at the vibrations, hitting the back of your throat. The sudden intrusion was unexpected and you let out a garbled moan around his cock. He panted regretfully: “S-Sorry, baby, d-didn’t mean to do that, you just feel so good. Can- can you bob your head up and down it for me?” 

You did, started moving your head up and down his shaft, and breathing hard through your nose, while your hands squeezed the base of his cock. Looking up at Seokmin, you felt confidence that you were doing something right. He was in heaven, face all scrunched up and breathing as if he’d just ran a marathon. 

And when he peeked his down to you, he could’ve cum immediately. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, head bopping with tears in your eyes from the pressure in your throat, and how curious and sparkling they were, gauging his reaction. The groan that clawed its way up from his heart, through his throat and out into his room quickly turned to a whimper. 

“I’m- I’m gonna cum, sweet pea, can I-” he swallowed hard, because even the thought had him close to release. “Can I cum down your throat, pretty?” 

You nodded, a little too preoccupied to answer, but Seokmin got it, and with just a couple more bobs, and the feeling of your wet tongue pressing against the underside of his cock, he spurted into your mouth in long ropes of white, whining at the top of his lungs, and pulling hair from the roots. 

It was, admittedly, a little gross and sticky in your mouth, but it was also hot and you felt proud you’d made him feel good. He was panting, trying to recover, when you pulled off his dick, a satisfied smile on your face. His hand wandered to your face, caressing your cheekbone, before moving down to your puffy lips. 

“Can I-” he was almost embarrassed, “Can I see baby? Can you open your mouth for me?” 

A little confused, you did as told and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue that was still covered in his sticky release. 

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself not to get hard again. “C-Can you swallow it for me, beautiful?” 

Still confused, you nodded and gulped it down, trying not to look like it felt as gross as it did. If Seokmin noticed, he didn’t remark it, because he only groaned again, and pulled you by your face into a sloppy, heated kiss. 

“So, so, so good for me,” he whispered, not letting you out of the kiss, even when saliva dripped down your chin. “Such a good girl, letting me use her mouth, such an obedient, good girl.” 

You whined into his mouth at those words, bothered by the aching in your core that his moans and his blissed out face had caused, and now those words repeated over and over: Good girl.

He grinned into your mouth. “Yeah? You like being my good girl, right? Like doing your best for Seokminnie?” 

“Yes,” you murmured breathlessly, too lost in the feeling of his mouth and his hands rubbing your waist to come up with anything better.

Seokmin pulled away with a warm smile, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “You did well,” was all he said, and you could genuinely cry, because that was it - you just wanted to know you did well. 

“I’m gonna go clean up, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in response before he pushed himself off the bed, snatching a new pair of boxers from a drawer on his way out of the door. 

You threw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes contentedly. 

He liked you. You were sure of it now, when you thought back to how his eyes had balked at you so wonderfully, how careful and attentive he’d been. You were certain, and your heart smiled and you smiled and your hair was sprawled out on his sheets and for the first time, that desert wasteland in your head welcomed you and took you in, and you were right where you were supposed to be. 

Until your phone started buzzing. 

It was dancing across the sheets violently at someone's call and you peeked open one eye tiredly to pick it up. And when you did, the desert turned on you. Caught in a sandstorm, you held your phone between your fingers and felt your heart drop, lowered into the acid bath of your stomach.

It was Vernon.

Vernon, who was Seokmin’s best friend. Vernon, who was your brother. Vernon, who had always yelled at you to leave his room whenever he had Seokmin over. Vernon, who didn’t like when you talked to any guys at all, who had recruited his best friend to watch over you and take care of you. Vernon, whose best friend had just had his dick in your mouth. 

You heard the shower running distantly when you clicked accept, hoping to God that you didn’t look too disheveled. 

“Hi, N/n!” Vernon cheered immediately on the other end. His face popped up on your screen, a bright smile on his face. You smiled too - you missed your brother - but it was half faded, and Vernon noticed immediately. 

“Hi, Vern,” you said softly. His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” 

Of course, he could read you like a book. Of course, he knew that you were distant and nervous. You sighed heavily, trying desperately to collect yourself, to remember how you usually behaved, but for some reason, that you was far gone, and you had to be splayed on his screen, like a person replaced by something peregrine. 

“I’m a little stressed out,” you mumbled. “Got a lot of papers and stuff, that’s why I’m not home.” 

“Come home next break, okay? We miss you and you need to get out of that place every once in a while.” 

You nodded. 

Vernon’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and you saw him lean closer to the screen (which would have been funny, were you not suddenly wondering if there was leftover cum on your face). “Hey, where are you right now?” 

“My friend,” you said quickly - too quickly. “Her name’s Yunjin, we’re working together in chem.” 

Vernon hummed, seemingly content with your answer. “Your friend has the same bed sheets as Seokmin.” 

Shit, yeah, they facetimed every week, you remembered, cringing at yourself for not thinking of it earlier. You tried to play it cool, shrugging: “Weird.”

“Yeah, anyway-” 

Vernon rambled on and on about something or other, but you were unable to focus, watching the door to Seokmin’s room with a worried frown.

Moreover, you felt like a whore. Realistically, you hadn’t even lost your virginity. But sleeping with your brother’s best friend suddenly felt way more real now that you were talking to said brother, now that you were lying to his face, and you felt dirty and gross and you wished you could stand before Vernon, as the same baby sister that you had been before. But you weren’t. You were disgusting.

“Vernon, I gotta go,” you cut him off, and you hadn’t heard a word. Vernon’s excited expression dropped and he furrowed his brows. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, and you thanked the pixels for concealing at least a bit of the worry on his face. 

“Yeah, I just- I really need to get going,” you said. “Bye, Vernon!”

“By-” 

You disconnected the call and gathered your things, put your own clothes back on. Throwing Seokmin’s clothes onto his floor felt like shedding a second skin - a skin that had made you ugly and greedy and lustful. You only kept his boxers on, lumping the dress over your shoulders to drape over you in an unsightly and unorganized way. 

You spared a glance at the wrapped condom on his bedside table, long lost and forgotten by now. You could leave it. You could leave it and have a reason to come back, a reason to slip across that ledge again and fall into his arms and his mouth and his warmth. You almost did. Almost left it right there, where it begged to belong. But you snatched it off the counter, ignoring the way your heart clenched when you did, and slipped it into your tote bag. And you left, jumping across the border that separated you and back into your own wasteland. And it was so cold and so empty. You were alone again.

Seokmin came out of the shower, expecting to see you cuddled up in his bed, all soft and beautiful. But you weren’t there. Seokmin understood immediately. The condom was gone and so were you, only the perfume in his sheets remained, willing him to remember. And he cried. He sobbed into his own hands, because what had he done? 

You did not see each other the rest of that day. Or the next day. _____________________________

Seokmin wanted to let you disappear. He wanted you to slip away and he wanted to forget it had even happened - like a burning star dies out and leaves only a faint warmth behind, lasting years. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you go, couldn’t bear knowing he’d never hold you in his arms again, never see you laugh again, never see you cum again. And he couldn’t bear knowing that maybe he’d read it wrong; maybe he’d made you uncomfortable, maybe you’d felt obligated. 

So he texted you. For two days his texts came in sporadically and unsuccessfully. Questioning and pleading, he wanted to know it wasn’t true. 

Lee Seokmin: why’d you leave? 

Lee Seokmin: can we talk??

Lee Seokmin: i miss u

Lee Seokmin: i need to know i didnt hurt you

Lee Seokmin: can you please answer? 

Each text came more painful than the last. Each text came more pleading. You sat alone in your room, in the dark, having only his one sided chats to light up your tear-streaked face. 

Eventually they stopped coming. You thought they would. You thought, you knew, eventually he’d give up. But what hurt the most was knowing he wanted you too; knowing he liked you as much as you liked him. You’d seen it in his eyes, when his hand slipped between your legs, and you’d seen it when he came staring down at you.

But you preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. You preferred to remember when he didn’t love you back. 

The pain that had been tethered to your youth and to him, back when he was unreachable, just a figure you could marvel at, was so much duller compared to this pain, the one pulsed in your heart now: the pain of him loving you back, but still being off-limits. Something that could be, but was destined to die out. And it did, when he stopped texting you, you felt that unborn child’s soul leave your own. Alone again.

And then suddenly, you weren’t. 

A stern knock on your door. You flinched at the sound, fearing the worst. You were in your bed, in your sweatpants and your sweater and that condom was on the bedside table, watching the door with you. 

Another knock.

“Y/n, I know you’re in there!” 

Seokmin. Of course, it was Seokmin. No one else would come for you. But it was all too painful. You feared the worst - feared that seeing him, you would collapse into him again, and that this time you wouldn’t be able to find your way back. 

“Open the door, Y/n,” his voice was serious.

“Go away, Seokmin!” you yelled, voice breaking halfway. 

A pause. When Seokmin spoke again, he was not angry anymore; he was vulnerable.

“Y/n. I-I know you don’t want to talk to me, but-” he paused, wincing at himself and you knew there was tears in his eyes. “But I need to know that I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

You thought that you could handle the self-blame Seokmin omitted - maybe that’s just because it was words on a screen. But hearing him crying outside your door, and how real he was when his hand knocked vigorously, it tore down each and every one of your last defenses. 

“I need- I need to hear that you’re okay and that I-” 

“I’m opening the door,” you interrupted him, and sure enough you padded to the door and swiftly unlocked it. 

And then you were standing before one another. It was like time stopped, how the air stilled around you, and how the world quieted down. He was all crumpled paper hearts, all deflated and broken, and his hair was messy and his eyes were dark, but they sparkled again, just at the sight of you, and yours at him. 

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, breaking the enchantment cast upon you. The real world came crashing down, the people in the streets and birds in the trees and wind coursing through the leaves. The light that you’d shut out with a firm tug to the curtains was dancing on your linoleum floor. “It’s my fault. It’s- I talked to Vernon and I- I feel like shit, Seokmin. I feel like a slut.” 

“You’re a virgin!” Seokmin scoffed, but it did nothing to calm you. 

“It felt wrong! Because I- because you’re Vernon’s friend. Because Vernon never likes when I date guys, and because now I’ve been fooling around with his best friend,” you defended yourself, biting your lip when tears stung your eyes. Seokmin softened. “I just felt guilty. And gross.” 

“You’re not gross, you’re in love,” he said softly, and your eyes locked. Everything about him was pleading - he was just short of literally falling to his knees, begging for you to hear him out. “And- and with me, of all people!” 

“Seokmin-” 

“And I’m in love with you too,” his voice was an urgent whisper, not daring to let you speak again, to let you try and steer him away. 

“Of all people,” you mumbled, a small smile finding your lips. Seokmin smiled too. 

“So.. I’m tired of hearing you talk about yourself like this. I’m tired of Vernon being the one keeping us apart. I want- I want you to know that Vernon would understand.”

You shook your head dismissively. He wouldn’t. 

“I know him too! You know? Maybe better than you,” he pouted a little, and it made you laugh, and everything was becoming lighter, and for better or worse you really did want to jump into his arms again. “He shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from dating me- or- or anyone, really. But especially me.” 

You giggled again, and Seokmin’s heart palpitated in his chest at that sound - and at being the source of it. Then the laughter trailed off and your smile tightened and your heart tightened: “I just don’t want to sneak around-” 

“Okay! Say no more!” Seokmin interrupted, hand held out as if to calm a mighty beast. He casually pulled out his phone, tongue in his cheek, as he called your brother. Vernon.

It rang for a few seconds, put on speaker. You couldn’t help the nervousness. Couldn’t help the pinch in your nerves, building up from your stomach and into your heart. Then he answered. 

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Vernon’s voice glitched on the other end of the line, utterly oblivious (as always). Seokmin spoke, hand on his hip: “Hey, just curious, how would you feel if me and your sister started dating?” 

There was a moment of silence. On Vernon’s end, you imagined it was simply puzzled, but on your end, you stood with your heart all big and floaty, like a balloon in your hand, waiting for him to say that he’d hate it, that he’d kill him, and pop your heart with a simple word to prick. That wasn’t what he said though. Vernon said:

“I mean, yeah, man, I’d prefer you over any of those other college douchebags. I at least know you’d take care of her for real, man, not like that Jeonghan guy you were going on about.” 

Your heart balloon took off, and the boundary between you and Seokmin filled itself with sand. Had it been imaginary? This whole time? You couldn’t help the wheeze you left you, overwhelmed with relief and joy. 

“I know, man, Jeonghan’s the worst,” Seokmin said casually, but he was grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. You’d buckled over in silent laughter, unable to contain the glee. It seemed to dramatic now 

“The worst,” Vernon repeated. Then he pursed his lips and spoke again: “So you’re dating my sister?” 

“Uh, you know, I think we’re making it official in a second, yeah,” Seokmin said and even Vernon could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Cool, man, yeah, I kind of figured, she facetimed me with your ugly ass bed sheets in the background, and I thought, no way, a girl would buy those bed sheets.” 

“Lay off my sheets, man.” 

Both of the men laughed and you did too, crying laughing and covering your mouth to contain. Your chest was fluttering with butterflies and light and love.

“Hey, man, for real, if you hurt her, I know where you live, bro,” Vernon was suddenly serious. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, man,” Seokmin responded, equally as serious now. He eyed you, then spoke into the phone again: “Hey, I gotta go make sweet love to your sister.” 

“Ew, dude, don’t say tha-” 

And the phone was hung up and Seokmin was laughing with you, eyes crescent and smile wide and toothy, and cheeks all red and shiny, he doubled over and took your hands in his. “I told you, didn’t I?” 

“Shut up, Lee,” you said, pulling him by the hand and letting him kiss you. Letting yourself kiss him. Letting yourself back into his arms, and this time Seokmin had crossed the border, and had fallen into you, and you stood there together and you were in love. 

So, so in love, your lips entangled and danced together, and your hands dragged up the back of his neck and his up your waist. 

And you realized, his tongue in your mouth, this was how you preferred to remember Seokmin; completely and utterly in love with you, and dancing with you in your room, and smiling into the kiss, and hands running up your body. You preferred to remember him as yours, and yourself as his. 

Seokmin guided you to your bed, pulling your body into his lap. Then he pulled away, completely out of breath, and smiling at you like a twinkling star. 

“Think we can finally break open that condom now?” 

“Fuck yes,” you said.

And then you did.

[estrellogy]

Astro Notes Pt. 3

I have a lot of thoughts and observations that I want to share 😭 If you have any recommendations, please let me know as well 🤍

- People often see 7th house as their ideal partner, but YOU are meant to embrace traits of that sign for growth.

For example, a Libra rising will begin to see more personal growth after learning positive traits from Aries e.g. Being more assertive, believing in themselves instead of looking for others’ approval, putting themselves first, etc.

- This might be a controversial opinion, but I don’t think minor asteroids influence your chart. Asteroids like Bride, Groom, and other very specific ones. The interpretations for them can usually be found somewhere in your main placements already. It can make you over complicate your chart and feel even more disconnected with yourself because you don’t focus on your core energy.

Not every small detail about you has to be explained by astrology. At the end of the day, you’re a person with free will and complex experiences that shape you beyond astrology. This is just a tool, not a determiner of your life.

- Pluto in 5th house 🤝 destroying/deleting your creative works when they’re not up to your standards

- The difference between Venus/Pluto hard versus soft aspects is in their expression. They all are intense, magnetic, and obsessive to some degree. However, hard aspects have a harder time owning these traits so they tend to swing between extremes (e.g. total obsession and then indifference). The soft aspects are just as intense and can have the same toxic tendencies as the hard aspects, BUT they have an easier time accepting it as a part of them and seem more ‘stable’.

- 6th house placements are so overlooked! That’s literally the house of your health and daily life. I notice that when you work with your 6th house energy effectively, other areas of your life also improve.

It’s interesting that 6th house comes right before 7th house of relationships. In order to be in a relationship with someone else, you have to take good care of yourself first!

- Aries and Mars aspects (especially hard ones) can overpower other aspects in your chart until you learn how to master that energy and channel them into something productive

- Jupiter in 12th house used to be seen as negative. But I think Jupiter here is one of the luckiest placements to have. This is the placements of coincidences happening in their favors, things lining up in crazy ways, book falling off the shelf right at the page they need to read. Their experiences feel divine.

They are very connected to the Universe, Source, Spirit Guides, or whatever you believe in! Anyone can with practice, but these things come more naturally for them.

- Shoutout to my Virgo Venus and Capricorn Mars for being the only things that stop me from going off the rails 😍

- Saturn in 11th house often feel unloved by the people around them due to earlier experiences with rejection. Saturn is trying to teach them to unconditionally accept themselves. Also, those bad experiences teach them how to read people a lot better and spot the ones with bad intentions. The reward from Saturn will be genuine, solid, and loyal friendships/connections.

I’m so glad you guys enjoy these silly notes! I have a ton of fun making them 😭