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soft-mafia · 1 year ago

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Detachable Antics [Buggy x Reader]

warnings: fem reader, nsfw, rough sex, mentions of anal, Buggy detaching his dick(and doing it in front of people)

a/n: I love Buggy☺️

Y/n was doing her regular duties, checking to see if everybody had their equipment for their acts, checking to see if all of the lights were set up, and making sure everybody knew their queues.

“Ok- snake charmer, you come in after the baton twirlers, and somebody move the tank so that it’s not directly under the tightropes, that could be a hazard—” Y/n was interrupted by a series of gasps and giggles from the people around her. She furrowed her brows, wondering what everybody was gawking at, “What’s wron- HOLY FUCK!” Y/n screamed when she saw Buggy’s big, floating dick right beside of her face.

“What? It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, baby!!” Buggy laughed as his voice came out from the speakers. Y/n screamed bloody murder and ran out of the circus tent, to which Buggy’s penis followed her, balls flopping through the air as it zoomed in her direction, “C’mon give it a little kiss!!”

“NO!!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!” Y/n growled, still running from Buggy’s flying dick, she screamed and tried to hide, hiding underneath and table set up outside of the tent. She breathed heavily, thinking that she was safe.. until she looked up and saw Buggy’s tip staring right at her face. Y/n squealed and threw the table off of her completely and tan again.

It looked like she didn’t have any other choice— Y/n was running for the shore. “Y/N!! NO!! You’re a devil fruit user!!!” Buggy shouted as he ran after her, miles behind his floating penis

“STOP CHASING ME WITH YOUR DICK!!” Y/n screamed, turning around to face Buggy’s penis, he was right behind it in the distance. “Give it one kiss, c’mon!! Don’t kill yourself, you’re too sexy!” Buggy called out.

“NO!! Literally everybody saw it, Buggy!!” Y/n growled. “I know, that’s why it was so hilarious!! You should’ve seen your face!” Buggy cackled, then his dick floated closer to her, making her flinch. The floating cock flopped up and down, inches away from her lips, “C’mon, kiss it and it’ll turn into a prince.” Buggy snickered, clearly getting a kick out of this. It was such a riot for him, just a floating cock right in his girlfriend’s face.

Y/n growled, then turned her face away.

“Why are you so afraid of it? You’ll let me put it in your ass but you draw the line at kissing it?” Buggy teased, moving his penis right back in front of her face.

“If I kiss it you’re just gonna shove it down my throat. I know you.” Y/n looked at his cock, then looked at Buggy. “I promise I won’t, c’monnnn.” Buggy continued to egg her on until she gave in. Y/n sighed, rolling her eyes before leaning in and pressing her lips against his tip. “Mwah. There, happy?”

Buggy grinned widely and finally, his dick flew back inside of his pants. “You’re so gross.” Y/n grumbled at him. Buggy giggled and walked over to Y/n, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her tightly, “You love me.”

(Timeskip)

Buggy woke up one morning. However.. something felt off, something felt amiss. He decided to go to the bathroom area to take his morning piss and that’s when it hit him.

“WHERE IS MY DICK?!” He shouted through the halls of the Big Top as he made his way to the upper deck, “THIS ISN’T FUCKING FUNNY, MY DICK IS GONE!! WHO HAS IT?”

Buggy’s crew looked at their captain with wide eyes, all of them going silent and pausing what they were doing. “SPEAK UP!! Penises just don’t-.. grow legs and walk away!!” He growled.

“STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!” Buggy continued to shout.

Y/n strutted out from behind Buggy, acting as if nothing was happening at the moment, she wasn’t frozen in place like his crew, just following her usual schedule. Buggy snarled and suddenly grabbed Y/n’s arm, making her turn and look at him, “Where is it.” He growled at her.

“Where is what?” Y/n looked at Buggy as if he was crazy, “What the hell are you mad about this time?”

Buggy grunted and let go of Y/n’s arms, walking past her, looking at her up and down. Even though he was mad, he could still admire his girl’s figure, “Somebody took my dick, and thinks it’s FUNNY to hide it from me!!” He growled, then looked back at his crew with rage in his eyes. “Bugs, maybe you’re overreacting.” Y/n crossed her arms, looking at Buggy.

“Overreacting?! My PENIS is gone!! Are you not concerned?!” Buggy turned back to look at his girlfriend.

“Well you’ve been taking it off and bothering me with it for the past few days, maybe you just lost it!” Y/n huffed.

“I don’t just lose my own penis, I’m very careful with it, thank you very much!” Buggy growled as he looked down at her. He then looked back at his crew, who were still frozen in place with fear, “GET BACK TO WORK!! I’ll find it, and when I do, SOMEBODY is getting theirs CUT OFF!!” With that, everybody scrambled to get back to work.

The Buggy Pirates stopped at a new location, and began setting up the circus tent and all of the other equipment. Y/n was.. nowhere to be seen, but she was known to take breaks whenever she felt like it, Buggy had no problem filling in for her; though nobody was really thrilled whenever he would take her place.

“MOHJI!! GET RICHIE OUT OF HERE!!” Buggy shouted, “I told you several times to KEEP HIM ON A LEASH!!” He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t understand, you IDIOTS are much more competent when my girlfriend is telling you what to do. Just because I don’t have a nice set of tits doesn’t mean you shouldn’t LISTEN to me!!” Buggy growled, then whipped his finger around in the air before slapping his hand back down to his thigh, “Ok, from the top!”

As everybody began their acts, getting their queues down, Buggy suddenly felt a strange sensation in his groin area. But— his dick was still missing, what was going on-, “Ohh fuck..” Buggy let out a low groan, hunching forward slightly. He quickly turned away from everybody and put his hands on his knees for a moment, taking a breath. What the fuck was that?

Everybody was looking at Buggy with a slightly concerned look, but they were too afraid to speak up and ask their captain what was wrong. Buggy groaned and stood up straight again once the sensation subsided, he turned around and looked back at his crew. There was a good moment of silence between all of them, before Buggy barked out again, “What are you guys staring at?! You look like a bunch of fucking seagulls, GET BACK TO REHEARSING!!”

Y/n, back in the Big Top, was laying in the bed that she shared with Buggy, rubbing his cock between her folds, moaning softly, she brought his balls up to her lips, admiring them and lightly fondling them before sticking her tongue out and giving them a lick.

Back at the circus tent, Buggy’s back arched as that same sensation came back again, a pleasurable feeling of arousal shooting up his abdomen. He gasped sharply, then slapped a hand over his face and grunted, “SHIT!” He hissed through gritted teeth. His jaw tensed.

Everybody paused what they were doing again, staring at their captain, thinking he was about to shout at them for something again.

Buggy inhaled, then exhaled, realizing what was happening.. and what his girlfriend was doing. “That bitch..” Buggy growled, hanging his head low, hand still over his face, he glanced back up at his crew, “Keep practicing! I have to deal with- AGGH! DAMMIT!!” He grunted and began to stomp out.

Y/n moaned, sliding Buggy’s throbbing cock in and out of her pussy, moaning while rubbing her clit.

Buggy was going nuts. Damn it! I knew she was up to something, I should’ve stripped that bitch down and searched her!! When I had the chance! His jaw was clenched tightly, teeth grit as he felt that clenching sensation in his abdomen.

Y/n’s eyes snapped open when she heard Buggy stomping back onto the boat, headed towards his quarters. She pulled his dick out of her pussy with a wet pop, then hid it between her breasts where she had been keeping it. Then, she quickly stood up off of the bed and stood in the middle of the room, acting like she was doing something else.

Buggy threw the door open, then stormed toward’s Y/n and roughly grabbed her shoulders, “WHERE IS IT!!” He growled, the flames of hell practically burning in his eyes, “I KNOW YOU HAVE IT!!” He shook Y/n roughly, and before she could even say anything— his cock slipped out from under her breasts, and plopped onto the floor.

Y/n’s eyes were wide as they both stared at his hard cock. Buggy threw his belt off and unzipped his pants, letting it fly back up to its proper area.

The man then glared at Y/n, “You think that’s funny?” He growled at her.

Y/n’s mouth was agape, trying to find the words to say, “Y-You think flying it around in my face is funny?!” She snapped back.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, Buggy grunted. He grabbed her shoulders again, and threw her on the bed, “I guess we’re even, then.”

His hands roughly grabbed underneath her knees and spread her legs wide. He stood at the edge of the bed, looming over top of Y/n and pulling her hips close to his crotch, his hard cock laid on her belly as his balls were pressed against her pussy. Y/n gasped and whimpered as Buggy manhandled her.

“Such a little slut aren’t you? You think you can just steal an old man’s cock and get away with it?” Buggy grumbled under his breath, then took one hand off of her leg to yank her shirt upwards to reveal her breasts, “Hiding it in here? Huh?” He slapped her tits around, pinching one of her nipples before grabbing her legs again. Y/n moaned and whimpered, grinding her pussy against his sack.

“Damn you ARE a naughty bitch.” Buggy laughed roughly before leaning his hips back, lining his cock up with her entrance and slamming into her. Buggy grunted and let out a loud groan, he began to thrust, not giving her any mercy.

“B-Buggggyyy!!” Y/n whined, leaning her head back and moaning loudly. Buggy dug his fingers into the flesh of Y/n’s legs, grunting and huffing as he rammed into her, snapping his hips back and forth at a rough pace. Y/n was seeing stars, her breasts bouncing as he plowed her.

“I’m gonna drag you into the fucking ring once the show starts, and I’m gonna show everybody how much of a naughty little bitch you are,” Buggy growled, it was an empty threat, something to just get him going as he pounded her. Just the thought of making Y/n crawl onto the main stage, wearing nothing but bondage gear, being dragged by a leash.. the thought of that got Buggy so hot and bothered.

The closest he ever got to that was spanking Y/n in front of the audience.. but that ended up with him getting chewed out by her in front of everybody. And she didn’t talk to him for days after that.

Y/n was screaming and moaning Buggy’s name, squirming underneath him. It was so much for her, he was so rough; and the way his fingers were digging into her thighs was making her so flustered and overstimulated, “B-Buggyy..! Slow down!” Y/n groaned.

“No.” Buggy simply grunted out, his hands moved to grab her sides, holding her in place as he continued to plow into her, making their skin slap and the bed creak loudly. “Buggyyy!!” Y/n squealed, cumming around his cock, her entire body trembled violently.

Buggy hung his head low and grit his teeth, cumming as well and spilling deep inside of her, “Oh fuck yeah..” he growled through his teeth, “Take that, you little shit.” He grunted.

Y/n moaned, panting heavily as Buggy rode out his orgasm, wet noises coming from her pussy as he slid in and out. “Don’t take my cock again.” Buggy growled at her, grabbing her face tightly. Y/n was fucked out of her mind, she looked at Buggy with cloudy bedroom eyes, “Yes captain.” She said, making Buggy release her face.

He sighed in pleasure as he pulled out of her, he slapped his cock against her pussy as it leaked cum. He smirked to himself, finally putting Y/n in her place.

After having his fill of watching her tremble while her pussy leaked, he walked over and grabbed a hand towel, gently wiping her off before kissing her on the cheek, “You know I’m hard on you ’cause I love you.” He cooed at her, rubbing her sides playfully.

Y/n hummed softly and moved her head to the side so Buggy could kiss her neck, tickling her with his stubble. She giggled, “I love you too, Bugs.” She then turned to look at him once he pulled back, “If you don’t want me to take your dick next time, maybe don’t bother me with it.” She laughed, sitting up on her elbows.

Buggy smirked at her, then leaned over her again, pressing their foreheads together; his big red nose squished against hers, “Am I gonna have to fuck you into this mattress again, slut?” He growled.

“Mm~ maybe.” Y/n grinned.

#one piece #one piece buggy #buggy one piece #buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy the clown x reader #one piece live action #opla #opla buggy #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #buggy x y/n #buggy x you #one piece smut

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gabessquishytum · 8 months ago

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Hob letting a whole bachelor party use his hole one after the other until the cum was dripping down his legs, you say? I could absolutely see that as Desire’s bachelor party.

Because they’re trying to be good for their fiancée, maybe they checked with Unity beforehand for permission to join in, or they’re content to simply sit back and enjoy the show, but either way they do insist that all the attendees have a turn. This includes their stick-up-his-ass brother Dream, who in their humble opinion desperately needs to cut loose and get his dick wet.

And while Hob could just be a sex worker Desire hired for the night, what I think would be even funnier is if Hob was one of Desire’s slutty friends, who eagerly said yes barely before Desire had finished sharing their idea.

And better yet, what if this was also Desire’s crazy idea to introduce Hob and Dream, in the hope that they’d hit it off? It’s a win-win scenario; either they’d have a wild sexy bachelor party, or they’d have a wild sexy bachelor party and give their brother a peace offering in the form of a sexy boyfriend and an amazing meet-cute story (I mean, who wouldn’t want to be able to say “I met my boyfriend when I and several other people used him as a cumdump at my sibling’s bachelor party”?) 😁

-🪽anon

SCREAMING about this. I really like the idea of Hob just being insane and horny. Maybe it's even his idea to be a cumdump in honour of Desire's upcoming union. Desire is just like "oh absolutely you know me SO well. also i want you to meet someone 👀" they don't tell Hob anything more than that. It's going to be the best party EVER.

Of course once the party starts (they're in a hotel suite, Desire and their friends, Unity is there too, and a few of the Endless siblings - Destiny opted out and Delirium is busy on the balcony yelling at people down in the street) there are shots, and probably an assortment of party drugs, and everyone is in the mood. So Hob gets on the bed on all fours, and Desire tells everybody to form an orderly queue. They want everyone to participate - consider it a wedding gift! Especially you Dream.

And because they're Desire's friends, nearly everyone pushes and shoves go get a turn with Hob. Dream ends up quite far down the line, and he's not really feeling it... who wants to have an orgy with various siblings in the same room? But then he gets a proper look at Hob and suddenly he wants. Desperately.

Hob is already dripping. He grins at Dream hazily, slurs something that might be "You're pretty". He looks absolutely blissful like there's nowhere he'd rather be than here, on Dream’s cock, overflowing with so much cum he can't move without leaking. For Dream, it's like love at first sight. This is the man he wants to spend his life with. He thinks he might actually be going insane.

It's a night that no one will forget. With the cumdump complete, pictures taken and Hob duly praised for being such a good slut, Dream takes him to clean up. And they fuck again in the shower, where Hob loops his arms around Dream’s neck and refuses to let go. Desire is feeling very smug indeed with their matchmaking, even though Unity scolds them for setting Dream up with a deranged slut.

When Dream and that deranged slut get married 3 years later, Unity has to admit - she was wrong. Those weirdos are totally meant to be together!

#🪽anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw exhibitionism

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tsbs-shipfessions · 2 months ago

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Bloodmoon could use my as a chew toy and I would thank him. Not even in a sexy way

I feel like I need to whip out the "By Allah, you people are dogs. I will put in in the queue, as per usual' meme again.

...This is not shaming by the way- go crazy- it's merely an observation.

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wraithlafitte · 10 months ago

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used to be wraith-posts*

i will talk about politics on main and i’m not sorry about it, if you don’t like it then scroll on by <3

misha has been my fav since before i ever watched supernatural, so if you try to engage in misha-hating behavior with me don’t be surprised when i get mad 😇

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I will take requests :) I reserve the right to refuse any request without justification. requests will be processed at my convenience bc i am a busy college student 🖤

i’ll write for any of the fandoms listed in my about page.

check my wip queue to see where your request is!

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#wraith's masterlist #fanfiction masterlist #masterlist #navigation

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lunar-years · 1 year ago

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Roy’s been so obsessed with Jamie the whole time, actually. Keeley ‘s a little bit weird about him too.

- While flirting with Keeley in the press room, trying to get her to give him a second chance “Because I like you more than I hate him”

- Keeley being turned on by Jamie offering an inkling of vulnerability after showing up at her door

- “Every time I wanna kiss my girlfriend, I can’t stop thinking about Jamie fucking Tartt”

- In the middle of making out with Keeley, literally on top of her after he’s just walked in on her masturbating, “What did you tell the prince prick of all pricks about going back to Richmond?”

- Jamie thinking Roy and Keeley started dating just to make him jealous which. Well. Keeley technically had sex with Jamie to get back at Roy in Season 1

I’m probably missing some moments but They Are Just So Weird About Each Other. And in retrospect, the love triangle angle could’ve been done soooo much better. I hate that Jamie’s apology for the video leak is diminished when he tells Roy about it in the bar, but I do understand it shows their character regression and serves a greater purpose for Roy’s arc. And maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but it would’ve been more interesting if Keeley and Jamie had sex after he apologized in S3 (although the hug was really sweet).

idk why but the way you worded it "Keeley's a little bit weird about him too" actually made me laugh out loud lmao. Thank you for that anon. I think Keeley ALSO being unhinged about Jamie is something that is underrated!

I think my favorite is the scene where Keeley masturbates to Roy's retirement presser because the whole thing is SO 'Jamie is the third person in the room right now even though he is not actually here in the room.' Like. Let's compile the Evidence in that scene alone:

Keeley's vulnerability kink is activated so hard by Jamie having traced her to her coffee shop to seek her advice specifically that she immediately goes home to have a wank about it. Except she can't wank to Jamie can she? That would be bad because she's In a Committed Relationship. So she pulls out her old reliable Roy vulnerability video to wank to that instead. (Already it's pretty crazy.)

But then Roy comes home and Keeley tells him how hot she finds him when he's vulnerable, suggests again he take a chance on the pundit job and then uses JAMIE AS THE COMPARISON. literally fully well knowing how Roy can Get about Jamie Tartt, she's on about 'Jamie is brave.' 'At least Jamie is trying to get better.' 'YOU'RE JUST LIKE JAMIE.' i mean, GIRL?? insane. this is all after being walked in on mid-wank mind you.

In midst of all that, let's queue up another super sexy roykeeley kiss. at this point the conversation has MOVED ON. only for roy to BRING JAMIE UP AGAIN. 'what did you tell the prince prick of all pricks?' WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW ROY. whyyy are you still thinking about him. unbidden. as you are right in the midst of foreplay with your girlfriend.

Insanity on all sides of the triangle ❤️

But all of your examples are spot on and I fully think the weirdness about one another started even before any of that and got FAR WEIRDER from s3 and beyond. For instance, Keeley in the season one bar scene openly getting turned on by Roy with Jamie right there... one could argue that she was already leaning towards trading in Jamie for a nicer model but frankly. I think girl was angling for a threesome even then. And good for her!

Keeley and Jamie sleeping together after he came to apologize would've been a MESS. I would love to read a fic of that!

Part of what is so fun to me about the three of them canonically ending the series single is that the possibilities and configurations for smooshing them all together remain endless. maybe they all three figured it out at the same time and got together in a very romantic and cute and non-angsty way. BUT. if you want to be messy. roykeeley or jamiekeeley or royjamie can get together first, and whichever one is left out can just absolutely without a doubt be Going Through It. Meanwhile things aren't going fully well for the couple, and it's far from bad but they still can't get it RIGHT because it still feels like something (hint: someone) is missing. The someone who is currently off to the side thinking they aren't good enough aren't lovable aren't ever going to be okay again but at least their favorite two people are happy :( without them :( :( glorious

#royjamiekeeley #asks #ted lasso

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madstronaut · 8 months ago

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prepareth thineselves for another doozy of a ramblecommentating

obligatory alphalist link:

the pining. THE MOTHERFUCKING PINING IN THIS STORY is enough to power a standard size nuclear plant imo and madstronaut is here to do her civic duty as a staunch supporter of the environment and fighting fossil fuels, yes, truly the main reason i read smutty/yearny fic-

Reading: Christian Woman by @kneelingshadowsalome

“You don’t know how it even happened, but you became friends with a foreign man visiting your city.”

this is basically reverse tinder iykyk

“You feel warm and safe with him, lost inside a soft bubble you quickly create in the corner table of a cellar cafe.”

this very aptly desscribes how this story makes me feel. i cried the first time i read it through fully; just made me feel so many emotions 🥹🥹🥹

Perhaps it’s the dimly lit environment or perhaps it’s just him, but you have one of the deepest conversations ever with this mysterious man.

i hope everyone experiences the happy accident of a spontaneous deep conversation with a stranger - feels like God/the universe just gifting you a random act of kindness

“Well… I don’t do twerking, but yes, nuns are allowed to dance.” girl you about to do a lot more than that very soon

You can see he hasn’t skipped a leg day either, and immediately chastise yourself for checking out his butt in the coffee queue.

*when God sings with his creations, will not König's ass be part of the choir*

You know it’s an attempt to make you forgive his choice of career when he reveals to you that his best mission was when he saved thirty women from sex trafficking. And it does make your heart crack open a little.

just speaking personally quite a heady experience to have someone attempt to better themselves for you but way too easy for this dynamic go from sexy/flattering to emotionally off-kilter - how does the phrase go? with great pus-power comes great responsibility

Actually, you catch him looking at your breasts, scanning your body and cherishing the tender spot between your collarbones more times than you can count. They’re quick, stolen moments, so harmless that you choose to stay quiet.

🥰🥺🥰🥺

He listens to your every word with a softening glow in his eyes, a shimmer that spreads across the table and makes you feel warm all over. fucking LOVE THIS LINE

König always softens in your presence... You always tense up in his.

Your face is flushed, and you blame it on the overcrowded cafe. You feel both safe and in danger with him, and it must be the virgin inside you talking.

this is such a great description of how a good ole crush feels - “you feel both safe and in danger with him”

It’s bubbly and lively and colourful, just like your friend; it’s the opposite of König, the special operations soldier who’s dark, intriguing, and intimate, just like the dimly lit cellar cafe you meet him in secret.

total sidenote but since I was just recently there - you wanna talk bright bubbly cafe next to dim cellar cafe - bedford cheese shop next to irving farm coffeeshop on irving place off union square in nyc fits these descriptions exactly lol

"Soldiers are crazy. I once dated this peacekeeper,” your friend continues in her usual chirpy way.

why did the following description make me think of john cena peacemaker, who does indeed own a fleshlight in the show 😂😂😂

And at times, hearing about all the things your friend has gone through, being an onlooker to all that heartbreak and pining and loss, has managed to strengthe your resolve. a whole moooooood

“No, seriously. We’re talking about fistfights and broken bones. Dating apps would explode. People would get killed.”

we all need a friend like this 😂

If anything, you’re scared of men, and you loathe the dating world. You’re put off by shallow commitments and one-night stands and getting ghosted and God knows what else.

omg it me????

You always told your friend that Jesus Christ is the most stable man you’ve ever met, and you will stick with him.

recalling all those worship songs nicknamed “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs in youth group growing up😂😂😂😂

“Stable? Excuse me, but didn’t he start a riot or something at the temple? Are we talking about the same dude who lead an uprising against the Romans? Hung out with whores, raised corpses from the dead, fucked around and found out until someone nailed him at the cross? Stable my ass!”

I want to banghang out with this Jesus tbh amigoingtohellfortypingthatmaybesavemeJesus😉

Your friend's enthusiastic grin turns into an uneasy, pitying smile when she realises how deep into this man you actually are.

i knew she was a goner when she started talking about his hands

If you're chosen by God, your friend is chosen by the Devil, that's for sure. like i said WE ALL NEED A FRIEND LIKE THIS 😂

There’s no chaos and no guns and no tall men with big dicks, no Austrian war criminals trying to seduce you and then discard you after their deployment ends.

There’s only a man with a kind smile, warm eyes, and a nice, husky laugh. Some good coffee with distant notes of chocolate and perfectly civil conversations about European philosophers and the crisis of modern thought.

WHY NOT BOTH?

Sturdy walls support you; they have held you for centuries, and the crucifix above you has given hope to so many people before you. The ever-safe embrace of your faith envelops you, and you can always trust that you are loved, even when you’re flawed and incomplete.

Even with indecent thoughts, you can pray for mercy and ask for forgiveness. Even if you have impure urges towards your Austrian mercenary, you can still pray for him... It’s the least you can do to repay the kindness he has given you.

i appreciate how fleshed out our nun reader is <3 i found myself in a weird limbo of wanting her to remain true to herself while still navigating her faith (as someone also on a post(idk tbh?)-faith journey i find her spiritual self-wrestling very relatable and familiar)

You don’t want to draw the Lord’s attention to you while your hand travels down beneath the sheets, your thoughts wandering to a certain god-like soldier with eyes like burning ice.

probs goin to hell for this (but im on tumblr so im already here??? lmao) but S i r if u invented the whole concept u can at least watch and give me pointers/tips

And that’s ok - physical touch like that is ok. Holding hands is not.

truly the absolute dirtiest sluttiest thing you can do fr fr let me say it once again with my whole chest 👏HOLDING👏HANDS👏IS👏FOR👏 SLUTSSSSSS👏 (it's me, the slut, im the slut)

It finds you in silence, envelops your tiny palm completely, squeezes you softly and emanates so much heat that a cord of fire shoots across your arm and straight into your heart.

i remember my first innocent hand holdings/cheek kisses and they felt EXACTLY like this, reading this felt like salome went digging into my brainfolds and pulled the sensations out and put them in writing 🤯

The only thing you ever craved for was another slice of cake. omg nun reader your innocence is adorable all the better when watching it break

“I’m sure you’ll find some other girl to… hold hands with,” you say, hating how bitter and self-pitying you sound. holy self-sabotage, batman - NUNREADER DONT DO THISSSSS

“I’m sorry too,” he laments, but the corner of his mouth curves slightly up. “So sorry you wouldn’t even believe…” excuse me while i mop myself off the floor; melted right off my chair

You wonder if he’d pay you a visit if you told him where you sleep. You wonder if your single bed would creak if he tried to make love to you on it... You wonder if you could muffle your cries when you clenched with him inside you. If he’d groan too loudly when he reached his peak…

nun reader can i interest you in an alternate, similarly unpaid career trajectory of…*drumroll* SMUTTY FIC WRITING???? pls i will send u an ao3 invite and comment on every 5th syllable of your stories and be your 2nd-biggest personal hypebae (first one being her own bff who would be over the moon ofc)

The back door is always open too because some of the nuns are smokers.

im deeefinitely picturing nun!aubrey plaza from the little hours below

“Of course not. I will pray for you every day,” you smile with a good amount of affection. It has the same effect as saying something like “I want to blow you right here on this street” because your Austrian giant gets visibly excited. spit my fuckin tea out at this, fucking hilarious

the giant soldier who now carries a piece of your heart with him. You wonder if he even knows he owns it. 🥺🥺🥺reminds me of old crushes/lovers who broke my heart. did u know how much you held when you had a piece of it? steadfastly not thinking of the ones i broke too🤪

The morning prayers and mass are a chore and bring you no comfort, and the usual dawn bliss is gone.

i have often heard it said both in a spiritual and practical context that when your peace leaves a place, you should pay attention and leave with it and it’s still a very relevant and wise piece of advice imho

But at the same time, you know it must’ve been the Lord who brought you together. There must be a reason for God to make you two meet, you refuse to think it’s only because He wishes to tempt you. There must be a bigger plan; the connection, as sinful and carnal as it is, has to serve some higher purpose.

tw for churchish talk so pls skip if its not your cup of tea but without getting into all the fucked up stuff that is the monstrosity of evangelical churchianity, personally speaking one of the earliest places (and most constant sources) i learned about self-worth and compassion and love and extending it to myself and others was through people of faith (i know this might be ironic/offensive to some because believe me i have also been there in being traumatized/antagonized by ppl of faith as well but trying my best to hold all our different experiences and perspectives in hand to be able to see listen and understand the good the bad and grey and everything in between in a nuanced way, anyway story of my life); i wish i could offer similar encouragement i heard to nunreader - omg, can we instead focus on the verses/stuff in bible like Christ coming to set us free, not keep us chained to laws, God is love, loving God and others are apparently the two most important things in the faith and everything else rests on these two, also there is a shitttttton of smut in the bible coughsong of songs, the book no one ever preaches aboutcough and also i dont think the supposed inventor of sex hates sex, anyway ending my shittylittle fauxsermon/rant here but end of tw, back to the fic~

And you wonder if you’re going mad, because your most sinful thought is that you actually see God in him. i know reader is deep in the cups of churchthought but this is honestly one of the most beautiful things ive read; i want to (and imho i do) ‘see God’ - see something divine, beautiful wondrous heavenly full of love and joy and peace and gentleness and kindness and all that other stuff from that galatians bit i dont recall now- in the people I love too

You decide to hold on to this thought: that you were meant to meet so that you could come to know God through each other. cough once again trawling through some old memories resurfacing from my churchish days but apparently one of the meanings of the original hebrew word for to know in the bible also meant to have sex with, i am 1000% serious👀👀👀

You wear your everyday clothes to the café, and König says nothing about your sudden moral choice, only gives you another longing, enamored once-over.

recalling an old convo with a guyfriend when we were discussing/joking about modesty and clothing and i joked that the ultimate level was a nun habit/outfit - in complete seriousness though he turned to me and said to a man in lust/love, the right woman has nothing she could wear that wouldn’t tempt him - including a nun outfit - and ive never forgotten what he said lol. I joked about ankles sticking out and then of course we dove into a deep discussion on the existential nature of feet fetishes. in hindsight, apologies to anyone nearby we may have traumatized/offended that june afternoon in washington square park

You hate it that the bright, playful air of your meetings is gone, and your heart is tearing itself apart in your chest because the only thing you wanted was to spread joy into his world. Even the Lord seems disappointed in you being so cold-hearted, and you can’t bear to see His sadness and suffering in König’s eyes.

all he has to do is sneak inside your heart and take the place that belongs to God. You don’t even feel the difference as he makes himself at home.

Well, actually, you do... It’s like your Christ’s love and mercy have finally come to flesh and blood before you. They're materialized in the man sitting opposite of you, bouncing his knee excitedly and grinning like the most innocent little devil on Earth.

peak yearning right here. also i think salome captures thoughtprocess of nunreader so well in her eventually assauging her Intense Catholic Guilt™️ by basically equating König to Jesus/God, the only man nuns are allowed to simp for (if anyone is offended by the near-constant blasphemous shit in this post - tbh my whole blog - pls say a prayer for me lol)

“I–I can’t just escape from the window.” my SISTER in CHRIST, you just gave away your whole escape plan LMAO

But everything feels so right that it can’t be a sin – if it is, it just so happens to be the most natural, most divine thing to do too.

nunreader i am cheering you on with little party hats and confetti bombs in spirit-

Everything’s so tight and earthly; everything’s so… there. Visible... Touchable.

very into how nunreader is feeling herself here. yes my queen get ready to fucking get ittttttt

And König has seen you without makeup all this time, so what on earth has possessed you to lament the fact that you don’t own a single case of lipstick? You’d kill for a few sweeps of mascara, too, just to bat your lashes at a silly man.

i am restraining the urge to dive into the screen into this story with my makeup kit to Give Reader A Mini-Makeover (i fucking LOVE those scenes in stories/shows/movies and also for me makeup is art and the canvas is my face/body and i enjoy perfecting my art on the daily- totally forget over the pandemic how much i enjoyed putting on makeup before going to work)

“Here, kitty, kitty…” why is this extremely goofy and sexy at the same time? peak König vibes tbh

Whenever you’re with your sisters, the feeling is pure, pristine love, not a surge of complex emotions and thrill like it is with König.

why not both, my sister, why not both? something something love is a many splendored thing - shakespeare probably

You walk the streets with a flower in one hand and his palm in the other. this is the cutest fucking thing ive ever read so far i am biting my pillow to shreds~ also König handfeeding strawberries to sis at the restaurant?? someone call 911 for public indecency???? hot damn and you were worried bout HOLDING HANDS???

He's nervous, too... Your cruel soldier is nervous, and kind, and shy because he's pressed against you. every girls dream 🥰🥰🥰

instantly getting hard from a first kiss does feel very könig-coded, do not @ me

You hear whistles and whoos in the distance, some men yelling, “Let’s go!” and “Get a room” while they pass by. not me also joining in-

The world revolves like it always has, as you choose a crucified man over the one who’s flesh and blood and holds you through your pain. not me getting together a petition.org straight to Jesus to cut our sister some slack-

“The world tests us in many ways... But Lord never tests us. He only loves us.”

on this note i remember being briefly fascinated by nuns/priests as a young madstronaut - mostly fascinated by these women living sans men in such a male-dominated world/space and foregoing sex/marriage (anyway little did i know of religious patriarchy and such then) but knowing what i know now, that under all the collars and habits and wimples are still regular people/human beings - i wonder how many IRL Christian Women fics are being lived out right now somewhere 👀coughBEFREEMYSISTERScough

He just now crossed your mind when you remember how he used to smell: of salty seabreeze mixed with intoxicating musk, the scent of excitement and safety all in one.

smellsandbells are my bread butter and jam! research has also shown the sense of smell is strongly linked with memory too and i can attest to this

The tallest man you’ve ever seen steps out from the dark in full combat gear, and while you can’t see his face because it’s covered with a draping black hood, you recognize it’s him simply from the way he moves.

do not resist dear sister, no one can when COD men deck themselves out in full gear, its simply not physically spiritually mentally emotionally chemically possible, cold scientific fact, biblical gospel, incontrovertible truth, in this annotated research paper i will-

You must look like a frightened deer because König mistakes your horrified look as sweet, simple concern.

“Don’t worry... They have it much worse, I assure you,” he says with his usual grin – you can hear it from the way he says it that he’s smiling. okay König fucking would say something like this lmao READ THE ROOM SIR but also sister has it d o w n b a d if shes able to recognize him just by the way he moves and “hear him smiling” iykyk

So when he asks you if there are any motels or a bed & breakfast nearby, you say you know just the place. sir i see right through your schemes and i am giving my 100% certified stamp of approval tbh i wouldn’t have even put it past him in this fic if he stabbed himself in a nonlethal area so sister can see some skin without ICG in teh way (Intense Catholic Guilt™️)

You suppose this is what your friend calls a happy trail...

And it does make you very happy.

you and me both sister, you and me both

“Pay no mind to that,” he says thickly and completely without shame. “ pay no mind? my brother in christ you are giving free handouts (trying not to let my brain rot away thinking of double entendres here)

“I wrote to you, Braut Christi... Many times. Never sent the letters… They’re still in my room, at the base.” sir sir if i can guess at the contents of some (most?) of these letters…may I ALSO interest you in an alternate albeit unpaid career trajectory of smutty fic writing-

You wonder if hearts can find each other, even through a distance, and if you’ve felt the urge to go to the flower he gave you at the same time König has gotten the desire to write another letter to you. It’s bittersweet, like this whole thing between you two, the mystery that both brings you together and rips you apart.

damn this is peak writing right here. this rivals published writing ive read, all my standing ovations, slow claps, and hats off to you salome~ i go through tons and tons of fic in hopes to read sentences like these and stories like yours ❤️❤️❤️honestly their whole exchange with sis kneeling by him as he falls asleep is peak yearning/tenderness

also nunreader’s “why exactly does König like me so much, is it because of any other possible reason other than myself” is peak relatability - once again restraining myself from grabbing reader through the screen and giving them white-board scrawled peptalks breaking down why they are amazing and worthy

He must be getting better if he’s behaving like this... The man’s insufferable enough when he’s uninjured, but now that he’s getting pampered, he’s somehow even worse. 😂😂😂 sis finally gettin the memo

Your only summer dress resides at your parent’s house as a relic from the past, a token from your life before sisterhood. this is true, i recall reading that once someone enters the convent/monastery they basically get given one nun/priest outfit and like maybe a backup one when the main one gets washed? my new yorker fashionloving ass could never

“No, I’m not. I’m just some woman you bumped into in the street.”

“That’s exactly what an angel would say.”

😂😂😂

You sigh: it’s useless with König, hopeless, like trying to wrestle with God. No matter what you say or do, he always turns it against you in the sweetest possible way. as someone with the near-useless superpower of getting weird inside baseball bible/sunday school/youth group jokes/references however vague in modern lit/culture when they appear i appreciate the “wrestle with God” reference, peak research vibes

also the last line here really smacks of the nicer interpretation of what the abbess told sis: “God doesn’t test us, he loves us” <3

There’s nothing sexual about it, so why not?

she says “aint nothin sexual bout lyin in a bed, the primary location where people usually have sex, with an almost nude man who is horny/erect 95% of the time he is around you, alone, in what i can only describe as a an ideal small town honeymoon suite while it is moodily raining outside” my sister in christ, do you recall lying (yes even to yourself) is a s i n

also i have never been catholic but hot damn i was also blushing and did think König is fucking s h a m e l e s s reading about him feeling up sis STILL IN HER HABIT 😂

He’s ever so grateful for his saving angel, who he gets to cuddle “as a reward”. You don’t quite know if it's a reward for you or him.

once again my sister in christ w h y n o t b o t h (also im deliriously pleased i can use sister in christ with multi-layered meanings here)

“Perhaps we’ll stay there... Forget all this,” he chatters lazily, clearly in the same sweet bubble as you. ive always found it so sweet and vulnerable and tender hearing bfs/guys muse and daydream about a future together 🥰🥰 just hits different when boys do it, and openly too

the last of your armour, your pride and shame and vows, drift away like they were made of nothing but simple steam.

But there’s nothing to hold on to but him, so you anchor yourself in the dark hunger of his eyes.

That’s all the reply you get: a pleased, filthy stare of someone who’s about to wreck you up.

“Come here,” he says while you’re already locked in an inseparable embrace.

*chefs kiss* these lines are perfection

You start to cry in full, not even knowing why. You just know you’ve wanted this for ages. This connection, this ecstasy, this mutual presence and fulfilment, this sense of belonging to someone.

*nodding along sagely* yes cathartic cries are the best cries

your pussy wakes up after recovering from the initial shock… For some reason, it is vital for you not to let the old receptionist know that a humble sister of Christ is getting licked to ruin in his establishment.

HAHAHA SALOME OMFG ABSOLUTELY SCREECHED READING THIS

You’re going through several stages of ego death and bliss; you’re going through a crisis of faith and multiple rebirths while König is having a field day with your pussy. Honestly completely normal reaction imho

All thoughts of What if he doesn’t enjoy it evaporate when you see the demanding erection between his legs, pointing at you so viciously that you feel pity for the fabric of his pants.

fics that have genital personification have a special place in my heart. also i did not expect to write such a sentence today or in my life but here i am, thank you tumblr

You’re not wearing any bra; you stopped wearing them years ago as useless and immoral. ok hold up one moment why are bras immoral lol girl unless you are small enough to join the free the nip movement without penalities a good support system is vital!!!

“You naughty girl…” he says thickly.

tbh in context of entire fic König calling sis a naughty girl is probably the hottest thing he’s said…sir where did u get all this rizz

“Want to see what I got?”

…forget what I said about the rizz, this is the fucking goofiest follow-up he could say 😂😂😂 salome has König vibes down pat

You’re mesmerized to see him already tensing from the chest up, the tendons on his neck becoming visible as he grits his teeth together. 🥰🥰🥰 an absolute vision

It's riddled with chants of Put it in and Forget about the bloody plastic because even with your zero experience you know it wouldn't feel as good as skin *me, reading, also joining in the chant*

The room must be smelling like a sex cave by now. protip: make sure the smell is gone if you have guests coming over

It makes you smile; him being so happy with simple things such as good food and some kinky sex, a nice cuddle and a nap to top it off. giggling at nunreader thinking humping is kinky UGH WHY ARE YOU SO SWEET AND ADORABLE i just want to take you on a shopping and makeup spree and introduce you to things like bubble tea, dry shampoo, glossier merch, weekend farmer's markets at union square, the hot barista/server at veselka's-

“This is what I call liking someone so much it hurts.” 🥺🥺🥺 couldnt seduce a woman if he tried my ass

König learns your body language; he knows it like a native speaker by the end of the week. EAT YOUR HEART OUT DUOLINGO (please dont kill me i'll fix my streak i promise)

König only smiles on the bed while you treat him; it’s like his master plan finally worked. I FUCKIN CALLED IT

“I would never hurt you….and no one ever will.” their whole conversation here is one of my favorite scenes in the whole story.

Without mentioning König or what you’ve been up to lately, you simply tell her you’ve decided to move on with your life. yes, i am one of those plebs who clap when the plane lands, but for dramatic turning points in fanfic

You receive lots of well wishes, hugs, even tears when you tell others you’re leaving. Embarrassed that you almost got rid of your robes and sneaked out to another secret lover’s meeting without even saying farewell, you meet everyone with full presence until you find yourself crying too.

i love a fic that has lore and a bit of worldbuilding so well-built that you want to look around corners and peek into windows and doorways about what else there is - i found myself wondering about sister’s relationships here with the other nuns - but also loved that last phrase of reader finally feeling whole, “meeting everyone with full presence” after feeling so fractured and divided the first half of the story 👏👏👏we love a good full circle fic 👏👏👏

No wonder men die younger – you’d have to tie this specimen to a sturdy lamp post if you wanted him to stay put... i too think this everytime i see some dumb bullshit, mostly on @drunkpeopledoingthings

“Well, you’ve seen me,” you extend your hands to your sides, knowing you’ve already lost. “You can go back now.” there's something just very delicious watching someone fight a losing battle

desire pools, brims, until you feel like you can’t breathe anymore. loooooooove this phrasing

This must be one of the craziest things you’ve done in your life says reader, of having sex for the first time, a near universal experience

To you, he’s all men in one, the sheer mass of him making your thighs tremble from want. 🥰🥰🥰reader in love is so poetic <3

also yes squeaky beds are my kink, ty for including salome 🥰🥰🥰

also sis describing her pussy “hugging” dick has got to be the fluffiest smut ive ever read🥰🥰🥰

Ten times more powerful than the most blissful experiences with your God, you want to come here for worship again and again, to have his body entangled with yours. ah yes to know König is to know God indeed 😏😏😏😏😏

When done, he sinks half his weight on you, thoroughly spent, and you feel fulfilled, some deep-seated joy taking hold of everything that once was hollow. Curiously, all shame is absent. 🥹🥹🥹 i love this line so much. i hope everyone is able to experience this, especially if you like me have had some religious purity culture trauma in your life - there is no shame in love <3

The happiness, the pure joy in his eyes, is heartbreaking. At that moment, you know that all his silly jokes, follies, and babbles about taking you to the mountains and whisking you away have been real. They have been true, honest wishes... There is no lie in him, no jest, no fakeness. Just pure, simple joy from hearing that you finally chose him, too. 🥹🥹🥹

The old man doesn’t even care to look surprised when he sees you clothed in jeans and a simple shirt this time, smiling as you rush upstairs, hand in hand with König. okay but shoutout to this dude, you a real one for being the best unintentional wingman this side of europe

You can’t wait to sleep with him tonight: simply sleep with him, finally, curl up together in safety, do the most basic thing all lovers do. You can’t wait to wake up to a fresh dawn together, lovely, curious, and new. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

You take new vows: promising to yourself to live each day fully and bravely, and never again shut your heart.

The only thing left of you on your old bed is your black and white robe, and on it, a crucifix and a rose, and a note that says:

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love… But the greatest of these is love.

screaming crying i cant even explain how this fic made me feel, some mixture of joy and heartbreak and catharsis and healing all wrapped up in one as i found so many parallels both with reader and König at times and isn’t that just some of the best things about great stories, when it helps us see and feel and know and love ourselves and others in new ways we couldn’t before?

i wanted to do this absolutely lovely fic justice so ive literally been sprinkling comments on this during re-reads for months; i will close with a fitting - and catholic - quote that i love:

“There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.” - quote by Henri Nouwen, catholic priest

#madstrothought #FaFiCoWriMo #fanfiction #call of duty #König #Christian Woman (fic title - to avoid this going into the general tag lol)#kneelingshadowsalome #DanceofTheSevenVeils #König x reader #nun au #forbidden love

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lemoncrushh · 3 months ago

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Cubicle // 11) Start of Something Good

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 3103

Monday // Harry

When I got to work, I already had a stack of stuff on my desk with post-it notes attached from Nina. I rolled my eyes as I shrugged out of my jacket, hanging it on the back of the chair. Then I made my way to the break room.

I was disappointed not to find Roni in there, but I knew it was still early. I'd been so anxious to see her again, I'd hardly slept and by five AM, I'd finally just decided to get the day started. After preparing my tea, I sat at the table, hoping Roni would walk in any minute. I saw both Alice and Travis with whom I'd chatted for a bit, and even Gerard made an appearance. But never the face I wanted to see. I considered just going to her side of the office and strolling to her desk, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. Nerves perhaps? But what was I nervous about? I'd slept with the woman two nights in a row, for fuck's sake.

After twenty minutes, I deduced that she wasn't coming so I walked back to my desk to start on the pile of work. I was halfway through a report, staring at the computer screen when I heard a light tap behind me. I swiveled my chair around to see Roni standing at the edge of my cubicle, a coffee mug in her hand.

"Hi, Harry," she muttered shyly.

"Hi," I grinned.

God, she looked beautiful. She had her hair pulled back from her face, pretty little tendrils falling on either side. She wore a pink and black polka-dotted jumper that fit her like a glove, yet showed no skin, and a black skirt. It was probably the most conservative ensemble I'd seen her wear, though she still looked completely sexy.

"How are you?" she inquired as she stepped closer to me.

"I'm great now," I replied, leaning back in my chair.

She beamed at me, her hands gripping her cup. "Good." Then with a lick of her lips she continued. "I'd hoped to run into you this morning, but I got held up with Greta."

"Oh," I raised my eyebrows. So that's what happened.

"Yeah," she grimaced, leaning against my desk. "As soon as I got out of the car she hounded me about crap that needed done for the sales team. She chatted about it all the way and insisted we get it done first thing. So I only just now got a chance to get my morning coffee."

She brought her cup to her lips, taking a sip. I suddenly felt like a complete prat for not going to her desk earlier.

"I was wondering," I admitted. "I waited for you."

"You did?"

The way she looked at me just then, like she was disappointed that she'd missed me, or worse, made me wait, took all I had in me not to take her into my arms. She looked sweet and vulnerable, and I wanted to hold her and kiss her.

"Yes," I nodded, trying not to give too much away.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

Alright, here's the thing. This woman does something to me. She exudes this sexiness like no other woman I've met before. I'm constantly finding myself wanting to reach my hands out and touch her, pull her into my lap and fuck her like there's no tomorrow. But another part of me is starting to feel something else. I can't quite put my finger on it, probably because I've never felt these emotions before. It's like...I care about her. I care about what she's doing and how she's feeling. It's driving me crazy, to be honest.

I wasn't lying when I'd texted her last night to tell her I'd thought about her all day. That wasn't some cheap line. I'd thought about her all fucking day. She was all I'd thought about. I'd probably gotten a total of three hours' sleep after I'd gotten home. Even after jerking off, imagining her sweet mouth on my cock, I'd tossed and turned until I finally got up and took a cold shower. She was on my mind whilst I ate breakfast, when I went to the gym, and even when I stood in the queue at the cafe. I'd wanted to call her, and even came close a couple times as I pulled my phone out of my pocket, immediately scrolling to her name. But I didn't press it.

Now, hearing her apologise to me...for what? For not being in the break room as early as I had been? For being busy whilst I sat at the table, resolved to making idle chit chat with co-workers to whom I barely speak otherwise? Waiting for her gorgeous body to walk through the door? It was almost more than I could bear.

"Harry..." Roni spoke again, almost causing me to physically shake the thoughts from my head. She set her mug down on the desk and stepped even closer to me. Her hand met mine resting on the edge of the desk, her fingers grazing over it. "I had a wonderful time with you this weekend."

I looked directly at her then, her beautiful eyes sparkling. Her voice had been just barely above a whisper, but I'd understood every word. I grinned at her, silent for a moment. Although her lips didn't quite smile back, the expression on her face did.

"I did too, Roni," I said.

I turned my hand over so that hers fell into mine. I caressed the back of it with my thumb, not taking my gaze off of her.

"Hey, Harry, have you finished —" I heard a voice begin.

As soon as I looked to my left, I felt Roni's hand leave mine. Nina stood by my cubicle partition, a folder tucked under her arm and her lips pursed. She's not an unattractive woman, but at that moment she might as well have been Satan.

"Yes, Nina?" I asked, my tone underlined with contempt.

"Have you finished the report for Woolery yet?"

"I gave you that one on Friday," I spat.

I didn't mean to be so harsh with her, but this was the third time in the past week that she'd asked me about something that I'd already done. Not to mention the fact that she'd interrupted my time with Roni.

"There's some revisions that need to be made," Nina retorted. "I put it on your desk this morning."

"What?" I sighed, lifting the stack of papers. Underneath two other reports was the one to which she was referring. "Well, why didn't you put it on the top if you needed it done first?"

"I need them all done first," she huffed.

I turned my chair around and glared at her. It wasn't even ten in the morning yet, and she was already getting under my skin. I heard Roni try to stifle a giggle behind me.

"I'll get to it as soon as I can," I told Nina, my jaw set.

"Thank you," she said before turning around and walking away.

"That woman needs to take a chill pill," Roni piped up.

"Tell me about it," I smirked.

"Unfortunately," she added, "I have to get back to work, so I'll let you get to yours."

"Okay."

"See ya, Harry." As Roni turned around I noticed the back of her stockings had a little line with tiny black bows going down. I immediately imagined running my hands up them and under her skirt.

"Oh, by the way," she said when she reached the edge of my cubicle, "I'm free for lunch if you are."

"Absolutely," I grinned. "Noon?"

"Perfect. Bye."

She waved at me with the tips of her fingers before turning away once again. Like always, I watched her go, her ass shifting underneath her skirt. Only this time, I could add more to my mental image.

Roni

He'd waited for me. Oh, I could just die! When Greta chatted my ear off as soon as I got to work this morning, I knew I was in trouble. She's my supervisor, so there's no way I could tell her to put a sock in it. For an hour and a half, I helped her with a project, my head beginning to pound from lack of caffeine. I knew I'd missed my chance to run into Harry, so when Greta was finally satisfied, I quickly grabbed my cup of coffee from the break room and made my way toward Harry's cubicle.

To hear him admit that he'd waited for me, wondering where I was just about crushed my heart, but at the same time lifted me on a cloud much higher than nine. I could tell by his tone that he was a bit relieved to know that I had been busy working and hadn't stood him up, although we hadn't exactly made plans to meet. Neither of us want to reveal too much just yet, but I think we both know there's something between us. The way he turned his hand over to catch mine told me a lot, and if Nina hadn't interrupted when she did...well, let's just say I might have kissed him at his desk.

Office romance is a tricky subject. I know this from experience. My ex, Roland, and I used to work together. It was the reason why I'd asked Harry if he'd ever dated anyone from work before. It was a little bit different situation, however, because it was at a factory. Roland was a maintenance worker, and I was a receptionist. We had already been dating when I started there. I rarely saw him unless he happened to come into the office. Still, in the end it proved to be a sticky situation after our break-up, and I finally started looking for another job.

I'm not going to be presumptuous about Harry and me. We've gone on two dates and had amazing sex. We flirt at work. It's too soon to think we'll turn into anything more than a fling. But even with that, you have to be careful. And I like Harry too much to risk doing something stupid.

When I got back to my desk, Gerard Holcomb was looking around as though he'd lost something.

"Can I help you?" I asked him, not bothering to hide the annoyance in my voice.

"Ah, Miss Graver," he announced, turning around. "Did you happen to print that price list for me yet?"

"You can't print that yourself?" I raised my eyebrows, perturbed.

"I thought you were making edits to it. Remember, we talked about it Friday?"

I sighed and sat down in my chair. "Sorry, Gerard. I got busy."

Gerard eyed me for a moment before speaking again. He made my skin crawl.

"Can I have it before lunch?"

"Sure," I replied.

He tapped the end of his pen against my desk before leaving my cubicle, without so much as a thank you. He really is a knob head.

I worked on Gerard's precious price list for a total of ten minutes. It wasn't hard for me to do what he'd wanted, I just didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I could get it done so quickly. Just because he's the top salesman doesn't mean I'm going to drop everything to tend to his needs. I have an entire sales team for which I work. And none of them as of yet have asked me to do something that they could easily get done themselves.

After I finished a report for another salesman, printed and binded it, I walked to his desk to hand it to him. With a courteous thank you from him, I stopped by Gerard's desk and handed him his price list.

"Looks good, Miss Graver," he muttered, taking it from me. Still no thank you. I gritted my teeth.

"You know, I have a first name," I told him.

He glared at me as though I'd slapped him.

"Sorry, I tend to refer to most people by their last names. But if you prefer, I'll call you Veronica."

Once hearing my name fall from his lips, I started to have second thoughts. Instead, I nodded. "Thank you."

As I headed back to my desk, I realised it was almost noon. I smiled to myself at the obvious pleasure I took in anticipating my lunch with Harry. I was quite giddy and even had a little hop in my step. I checked a few quick emails before grabbing my handbag. Just as I turned the corner, I almost collided with Gerard.

"Miss...I mean, Veronica," he said. "I wanted to apologise for earlier. I was rude."

"Oh," I waved my hand, "no worries."

"You did a good job on the price list, and I want to thank you."

My eyes widened at his statement. "Oh. Okay. You're welcome."

"Let me take you to lunch," he added.

"Oh..." I mouthed. "Thanks...but I already have plans."

"Oh." Gerard genuinely looked taken aback. I wondered how many times he'd been turned down before.

Just then I saw Harry out of the corner of my eye walking down the hallway towards me. I smiled at him and waved, turning my attention back to Gerard for only a second.

"Maybe next time," I said sweetly.

I didn't wait for his response as I brushed past him to meet Harry.

"Ready?" I asked him.

"You bet," he replied.

We walked together out to the parking lot where he opened the car door for me. When he walked around to his side and got behind the wheel, he faced me.

"He didn't seem too pleased," remarked Harry.

"Who?"

"Holcomb. I know he doesn't care for me, but his eyes were throwing daggers just now."

I chuckled as I leaned back in my seat. "He'd just asked me to lunch."

"You're joking," said Harry. "And you turned him down to be with me?"

"Who else?"

Harry smirked as he put the car in reverse. "Or maybe it's just for the free food."

"You never said you were paying," I quipped.

I watched Harry's dimple dip deeper as his smile grew wider.

"This is true," he agreed. "But I am anyway."

Harry

I almost wished Roni had seen the look on Gerard's face as she'd waved and then walked up to me. It was quite comical. He looked like someone had just told him to solve a horrendous mathematical equation. He looked from her to me, and back to her again as though he couldn't make sense of it. As I let her walk ahead of me, I took one last gander back at him, his eyes narrowed in disgust. Let him be angry. I'm sure he's wanted to get Roni into bed since her first day, too. Lucky for me, she thinks he's scum.

"So did you get all of your reports completed for Nina?" Roni asked me as we shared an organic pizza.

"Almost," I rolled my eyes. "I have one left I think. But it wouldn't surprise me if there are more on my desk when I get back."

"I don't get it," said Roni. "She's the administrative assistant, isn't she? Isn't that her job?"

I shrugged as I wiped my mouth with a napkin. "Yeah. But I'm sort of her assistant. So she drops it on me when things need correcting."

"Ah," Roni nodded. "Like how I'm Greta's assistant."

"Exactly."

I watched Roni as she chewed her pizza, looking at the wall behind me. Her face said she was pondering something, and when she took a sip of her water, she finally spoke.

"One day..." she said. "One day I will no longer be anyone's assistant."

Her declaration sounded like a line from a movie, but I didn't laugh. I felt a pang in my chest from her words and the look on her face. She seemed so hopeful. It was the purest and most beautiful thing I'd ever witnessed.

"What?" she grinned shyly when she caught me staring.

I merely shook my head. If I told her what I was thinking she'd probably laugh or think it was corny. She looked so pretty sitting across from me, her lipstick half gone from eating, her cheeks rosy from possibly feeling slightly embarrassed about her statement. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to touch her face and brush my mouth against hers.

After I paid for the lunch, we drove back to the office. I pulled into the parking spot, but didn't turn off the engine. I stared straight ahead, not sure what to say, or if I needed to say anything. My palms were sweaty, and I quickly wiped them on my trousers, wishing to God my heart would stop beating as fast as it was. Finally, Roni broke the silence.

"Can I say something?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied, turning my head to face her. Jesus, yes, please say something!

Roni adjusted herself in her seat, leaning on her side, her sexy smile spread across her face.

"I really enjoy being with you," she confessed.

I couldn't stop myself from grinning so wide my cheeks hurt. "Really?"

"Mmm hmm," she nodded. "I know it hasn't been that long, Harry, but I feel like...well...there's something here...between us."

"Me too," I blinked.

Roni did that fucking lip bite thing that drives me crazy.

"Good," she said, putting her hand on my thigh. I watched as she slid it up my leg dangerously before leaning closer. "So are you gonna kiss me now, or what?"

I gave a low chuckle as I reach over and touched her cheek, just like I'd wanted to at the restaurant. When my lips met hers, the same excitement and surge of electricity bolted through me as they had all the other times I'd kissed her. But there was also something else. A sort of unspoken understanding - a tenderness that I hadn't felt before.

As we walked into the building together, I put my arm around her. I wondered if she would flinch or back away, but she didn't. She greeted Greta and thanked me for lunch as she dropped her bag on her desk. Then she turned to me and grabbed my hands, squeezing them.

"Call me later, okay?" she whispered.

I nodded as I squeezed her hands back, then headed toward my cubicle. It wasn't until I sat in my chair that it hit me. Bloody hell! I'm falling for this girl.

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

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ryuichirou · 2 months ago

Text

Replies

I skipped replies yesterday, so let’s catch up! I’ll try to reply to as many of you as I can. Thank you for your support and asks!

Starting with a couple of very sweet ones, but also talking about some of our recent artworks, posts, but also about Harveston a tiny little bit…

Anonymous asked:

Ryuichiro do you do commissions? And how much?

I do! You can see my commission info + pricelist here.

I am always open for new commissions and work with a queue.

Anonymous asked:

I love you (as an artist lol)! ❤️ Your art always brings me some kind of joy lol thank you guys for sharing :>

Anooon thank you so much! I am very happy that our stuff brings you joy. It means a lot to hear that <3

Anonymous asked:

You rock, keep drawing we really love your art, please don't pay attention to those good-for-nothing shitty people who are defaming you, I wish I could have the strength like you do to draw whatever I want and post my drawings in social media, that takes a lot of courage as well. Please take care. You are my motivation to practice my drawing skills.

Thank you very much for your kindness, Anon!! We are very lucky to have supportive people like you around, it really makes all the unfortunate news not sting as much.

I hope you’ll get to draw and post anything you want! Please keep having fun with drawing, I am very happy to contribute to your motivation – it’s an honour.

Anonymous asked:

Hey ryuichi, I've wanted to say that I appreciate you and your Art 🫶🏼 I'm gonna be real honest with you i feel really safe here. I love how open and friendly you are, and I feel like I can be myself around here and let my freak out, lol.

Especially after the whole drama that occurred on Twitter about Jamil's new PJ card! It's so exhausting. Anyway, lots of Love! 🫶🏼

Thank you, Anon! <3 I am very happy to hear that you feel safe to let your freak out here. Letting your freak out is very important!! 💪

Jamil being too sexy for puritans to handle was definitely not on my 2k24 bingo card and yet here we are lol Shouldn’t be surprised about it though, the card is insane. Of course, the actual drama was about people acting allegedly inappropriately, but I don’t know what’s so inappropriate about looking at a sexy png with bedroom eyes and feeling like you want to give all of your possessions to that png. Sounds perfectly appropriate to me!

Jokes aside, I am very excited about this round of birthday cards, even though Jamil’s is going to be hard to beat…

Anonymous asked:

Hii! Are you ok with 3 people ships?? If yes what are your thoughts on Rook x Vil&Leona?

Sorry if not, I am new here and I really like your insights on the relationships _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Hi, Anon! Welcome aboard! <3

I am ok with a lot of 3 people ships; usually the main rule is that characters in our ships don’t switch (tops stay tops and bottoms stay bottoms), and we tend to gravitate towards two tops/one bottom combinations, although exceptions are possible.

With this particular character combination, while I absolutely love Rook’s delusions and fantasies about having these two specific cakes and eating both of them at the same time, I don’t really like having Leona in any proximity to Vil much… To be fair, I wouldn’t say it’s an absolute no-no: a boy (Rook) can dream, I am just not super crazy about it I guess. I see the vision though 🤔

Anonymous asked:

Do u like leovil too? Or is it only rookvil?

Unfortunately, LeoVil is one of the ships I would consider a notp. Not only because of two characters that we see as bottoms; I also don’t like it in general personally.

Anonymous asked:

At some point, you should put up a counter that says "It has been [x] days since the last person who clearly sent an ask before reading the pinned post" and we'll all cross our fingers waiting for it to get to like a three or higher 😭

(for the record, this isn’t related to the previous Anons!)

Yeah, and the funny thing is that when we wrote that post I said that I’ll just start skipping these asks, but I just…can’t. I want to reply 😔

Anonymous asked:

I notice you have a couple of pics of Idia and Sebek kissing in harveston. It doesn’t look like they were just fighting so what happened to bring on this make out session?

To be honest, there isn’t any specific scenario that is behind those pics, but I vaguely wanted to make it seem like they just couldn’t argue anymore and started making out lol The tension got too strong, somehow they overstepped that boundary and got way too into it.

icedefloweringtornado asked:

So the EN server is currently doing the Harveston event and Epel talking about using biochemical stuff for gardening just had me thinking about how Leona also wants to upgrade how his homeland does things. These young kids so tired of old people.

Not to turn this into another Leona slander, but wouldn’t it be funny if Epel was more successful with this whole thing lol We know Scar doesn’t have a very good track record when it comes to keeping lands prospering and fruitful… I guess Savanna needs Epel’s help 💪

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Fem Azul...🤤

(related to this art)

Yes….her :( <3

Anonymous asked:

I, a heterosexual female, am currently losing it over your fem!Azul. She’s so gorgeous, I want her to kick me down the stairs and force me into slave labor 😫😫😫😫😫😫

I wanted to yell noooo Anon don’t do this to yourself, but at the same time yeah understandable 😭

You know this woman abuses her charm like no other. Too bad not a lot of people in her school are charmed by her…

Anonymous asked:

lmao your response with cater “he is good at multiplying” help. the last thing NRC needs is horny hare cater…he would definitely get in trouble for messing around with the other buns (deuce and epel).

(related to this post)

And since he is good at multiplying, he could multiply for all of the other bun-boys at the same time! Multitasking, baby! This is definitely not something NRC would be capable to handle…

Anonymous asked:

I couldn't help but wonder if neige will decide to permitly host vil to keep him safe after seeing him crying

(related to this art)

Awww, well, for starters he would definitely want to invite him to hang out together! To cheer him up~

And then he will lock him in his house

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for seeing the greatness of bottom malleus. I'm so well-fed because of you. 💖💖💖

Enjoy, Anon, I am so happy you’re eating well. I am happy to provide.

When we first got into twst, I was genuinely surprised that there wasn’t a lot of bottom Malleus stuff around, so I am very glad there are people who share this vision…

Anonymous asked:

Do you think Malleus hordes anything like what a regular dragon does? If so, what do you think it is? (Besides broken cellphones, I mean)

I wanted to make a witty joke about him hoarding Lilia but your broken cellphones joke caught me off-guard lol

He is probably a hoarder! I think he would hoard sentimental gifts or anything people bring to him, but also for some reason I see him hoarding books.

He should be hording tamagotchi toys though.

Anonymous asked:

omg donkey!(insert random top) x dragon!mallues when

and who is shrek

(related to this reply lol)

I WISH WE HAD A TWST-FIED SHREK IN TWST THAT WOULD BE 3D FOR NO REASON BECAUSE THEY (HE AND DONKEY) ARE INVADERS FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE AAAAHHH bishie Shrek I haven’t met you yet but I love you already

I wonder who would be a good fit for the donkey!(top) though. But I keep joking about Ace becoming a donkey in Playful Land… Someone got way too lucky, huh.

Anonymous asked:

https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheDragon/comments/1cpql71/which_dragon_do_you_think_donkey_would_choose/ None, Malleus is coming to sweep him away

EXACTLY. And good for Malleus, honestly. This man will make him laugh! ALWAYS!

Anonymous asked:

Your response about the dragon pussy reminded me of this game called Deepest Sword, where you have to "Plunge your sword deep into the dragon's heart!". I imagine after a number of failed hook ups Lilia makes anyone who wants to fuck dragon Malleus play it first to weed out the more disappointing lays

Anon, I spent at least 5 minutes looking at screencaps from the game picturing Malleus LOL WHY DOES IT WORK.

Imagine potential suitors facing Lilia and being certain that this is one of the “you have to go through ME before you get to him!” type of deals, only to have to play this game for peepaw until he approves of your plunging technique. This doesn’t translate into an irl skill, Lilia!!

#replies

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thisismysecondrodeo · 2 years ago

Note

here’s a request if you have time: ted giving y/n a massage?

AN: @tedssweaters wrote a lovely little massage blurb that everyone should go read. I already had this request in my queue and of course, I went in a different (read: horny) direction lol s/o to @jarfishy for the encouragement to finish this one early 😛 two fics in one day, who am I?!

Rating: Explicit

Tags: AFAB!reader, One-Shot, Sports injury turned very sexy, Smut, Porn with barely any plot, facefucking, fingerfucking, General sexy things

Fic masterlist

You had been obsessed with football since you were little, your older brothers happily taught you every trick they knew while they dribbled circles around you until you were old enough to start playing against girls your own age. You had long since hung up your football dreams, though, focusing on a career in PR instead. But since you started working for AFC Richmond—and dating the head coach—you couldn’t help but want to get back on the pitch again.

Over happy hour one night you told the team how much you missed playing and they all tried to get you into a drunken round of footie on the Richmond Green, absolutely gutted when they couldn’t procure a football and the coaches told them it was too dark and they were too not-sober. But after that, the boys would occasionally drop by your office on a light practice day to invite you out and you started keeping some extra athletic clothes and boots under your desk.

“You sure it's okay,” you asked Ted each time you went to step out on the pitch, trying not to linger. Though your relationship had started completely unrelated to your employment, neither of you wanted anyone to get the wrong impression. The only people that were aware you were together were Rebecca and HR…and Keeley after that one time she had come back for something in her old desk and caught the two of you….indisposed. You had to admit the sneaking around was a little sexy, but it was a bummer in times like this when you wanted to drop a kiss on his cheek after he said, “of course! Go show those boys what-for.”

You were getting into the rhythms of playing, your lungs burning with exertion and a grin cemented to your face as you darted around. You raised a hand to Dani with a call of, “oi!” and sprinted to the ball to set yourself up for a corner kick. It felt good to score, even though you knew the boys let you have that one—granted they’d been out there for hours and you were fresh from your desk, no one could blame them for being a little slow.

You were taking the ball down the field when Sam called for a pass and you looked up for him just as O’Brien went for a slide tackle and you went down hard, with a pained grunt. Ted was hovering over you in an instant, you didn’t even know how he’d moved that quickly, and you rolled off of O’Brien and onto your stomach with a laugh.

“Jeez, I’m so sorry, you alright Y/N,” O’Brien asked with genuine remorse as he sat up on his knees, Ted right next to him his brow furrowed in concern.

“It was fair play, I’m perfectly fine Tommy Boy. Don’t apologize for that,” You went to get up but Ted stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t move yet, we should get you checked out,” Ted said and you looked at him like he was crazy.

“Ted, I’m fine. I’m a human woman, not a paper doll,” you laughed and Ted chuckled with you. “Just help me up, why don’t you?”

Ted held out a hand and you let him take most of your weight as you clambered up, took a step, and…shit that hurt. Not the worst you’d felt, but your thigh was cripplingly tight. You must have pulled your hamstring when you went down. Ted saw you grimace and his voice was frantic when he asked, “Woah now, what hurts?”

“Mmmf,” you grunted, “s’okay, just pulled my hamstring.” You gestured to your left leg and Ted’s hands were on you, squeezing with a pleasure-pain that made you groan as you braced yourself on his shoulder, not realizing how inappropriate this might seem to the players still gathered around. Coach Beard loudly and pointedly cleared his throat but it was too late.

“Coach, why don’t you work my hamstrings out like that, huh,” Jamie called out, his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Roy shoulder-checked him but even he smirked. Ted blushed and removed his hands immediately. You needed to get him out of here before he started apologizing and making things worse.

“Where were you when I tore my butt,” O’Brien teased and all the players laughed at that. Ted opened his mouth to say something, but you quickly cut him off.

“Ha ha,” you stuck your tongue out at Jamie and O’Brien mockingly, “come on, Coach, help me to the treatment room?” You wrapped an arm around Ted’s shoulders, your hurt leg in between so you could use him as a crutch as you limped off the pitch. He wrapped a hand around your waist to support you, being sure to keep his hand higher than necessary.

As soon as the treatment door clicked shut behind you, Ted had you wrapped tightly in his arms as if he had found you on the pitch half-dead. Thank god the actual trainer was out for the afternoon otherwise there was no way the two of you could explain this one away as platonic concern. You chuckled a little but let him hold you, his hands gripping your t-shirt as he took deep, soothing breaths.

“Ted?”

He didn’t respond but you could feel his fingers release just a smidge.

“Teddy, I’m alright sweetheart,” you whispered with light amusement and Ted sighed and let you go.

“I know, I know you just…gave me a bit of a fright seein’ you take a tumble like that. And I’m embarrassed on top of that for not keepin’ my hands to myself and almost blowing our cover. I should have told the boys to take it easy—”

“Woah, now, none of that,” you chastised, hobbling over to sit on a treatment table. “I may not have ever been a professional athlete, but I was an athlete. I know what it’s like to be knocked down, I know the symptoms of a concussion. Hell, have I told you my front incisor is an implant? Mum was pissed after that game.” You chuckled and looked over at Ted who was wincing. “Ah, come on now darling. You see people get hurt all the time. Scrapes and bruises are little badges of hon—”

“Not you,” Ted said, his voice tight and his hands fisted in his pockets. “I don’t see you get hurt all the time. It’s not because you’re a woman or because you’re not a professional or because I don’t think you can handle yourself, I just…I love you. And I don’t want to see the person I love in pain.”

Ted had never told you he loved you before and your eyes shot to his face, searching for any indication that he didn’t mean it, that he regretted saying it. But all you saw was the vulnerability of him offering his heart on a platter. You reached a hand out towards him and he stepped closer, allowing you to tug one of his fists from the pocket of his khakis.

“I love you too, Ted Lasso,” you whispered, holding his gaze as you leaned in and he met you halfway. It was easy to forget where you were and why when he kissed you like that, but when you shifted to widen your legs so he could step between them, the tug in your thigh reminded you and you grunted into his mouth, which was not the sexy sound he’d been anticipating.

“As much as I’m loving this very sexy turn of events, do you think you could get me an ice pack?”

Ted jumped into action with a smile and you slid off the table to remove your shorts so they wouldn’t get in the way, before leaning over and locking the door. Ice pack in hand, Ted turned and you could see the way his eyes lingered, but he remained focused on attending to your injury.

“Here, why don’t you lay on your stomach and I’ll hold this for you.” You did as he asked, and jumped when the freezing cold sensation hit your skin. “Did you stretch before you got out there?”

You gave Ted a sheepish look from where your head rested on your folded arms and he clucked his tongue at you. “Well if it’s alright with you, it might be helpful to massage your other leg while this one is healing to prevent this in the future. If you’re gonna be a member of my team, ya gotta be proactive in taking care of yourself, ya know?”

You smiled and nodded as he wrapped your ice-pack thigh in a towel so it wouldn’t move and stepped to your other side, rubbing massage therapy oil between his palms before he touched you. “Does that mean you’re letting me back out on the pitch, Coach?” You didn’t mean it to be seductive, but the two of you had somehow slipped into a mild coach-player roleplay, and the moan that slipped from your lips when he pressed down deep into the muscles of your thigh didn’t help.

“As if I could tell you no,” Ted responded affectionately, using both hands to grip your thigh and rub small, deep circles down the length of the muscle. He moved down to your calf, massaging slowly and humming a tune. He switched legs, skipping your injured thigh and going straight to the calf muscle and it felt like heaven, his hands warm and firm against your skin, his long fingers wrapping briefly around your ankle. He let go and you whimpered at the loss.

“How’s your back, love?”

“If I say ‘just awful’ will you keep touching me?”

Ted laughed, a full-bellied laugh that always made you giddy when you could pull it from him. You sat up and he helped you remove your shirt and bra before you laid back down, your arms to your side, and as he walked past your head for more massage oil you couldn’t help but noticed his tented khakis. You had of course felt like this was a rather sexy scenario, but you hadn’t realized how much it was affecting Ted too. He hadn’t made any untoward comments or touched you in any way that someone with a Sports Physiology degree wouldn’t. Knowing that his care for you was NOT centered on sex, that he couldn’t be distracted from looking after you just because you were mostly nude, only made you want to fuck him more.

Ted ran his hands over your back, gently first and then with more pressure. You sighed deeply when he hit the spot between your shoulder blades that always ached from working at a computer all day. He leaned closer so he could focus in on that spot but when his erection brushed your arm he quickly tilted his hips back. You wanted to tell him it was okay but you didn’t want to embarrass him, so you settled for letting him know how much you were enjoying the experience and maybe some not-so-subtle hints.

When his thumbs worked into your lower back, you spread your legs slightly and thanked your lucky stars you had picked gray underwear today. You knew he could see how wet you were by the sharp intake of breath you heard behind you.

“Feel good,” he asked, his voice a little strained, and you smiled over your shoulder at him.

“Very. What would you say if I asked you to get my glutes…Coach?”

Ted took a deep breath that he released as a groan. “I’d say we’d need to get these off.” If you could fist pump in this position you would. You were dying for him to touch you. Not that he hadn’t been, but there were certainly more sensitive areas that could use his attention. Ted removed the towel and ice pack first, letting his long fingers trail along your inner thigh and you shuddered in anticipation. He hooked his fingers in your waistband, slid down your underwear, and then…actually massaged your glutes.

It still felt amazing, but you wanted him to sink those very capable fingers into your core, to massage your clit until you were begging for release.

“Hey, Coach?”

“Hm,” Ted hummed. You couldn’t see him from this angle but he wasn’t tilting his hips back anymore and you could feel him hard against the side of your thigh.

“This is making me very fucking horny.”

Ted laughed. “Is that right? Is that you droppin’ hints that you’d like my hands…a little lower?”

“Well if you’re offering,” you joked nonchalantly as if you weren’t prepared to beg. Ted did slide his hands down but he didn’t immediately sink his fingers into you. Instead, he treated your vulva with the same care he had treated the rest of your body, a gentle but purposeful massage that made it hard to tell whether the growing slickness between your thighs was oil, arousal, or a mix of both.

“Fuck,” you whined as Ted’s middle finger parted you and made contact with your clit, but he pulled away and you grunted in frustration.

“Turn over for me darlin’.”

Ted helped so you didn’t bother your injured leg and though you were more than excited for him to go back to touching you, the real reason you felt heat pooling in your belly was getting to look at his sweet face, concern almost fully replaced with desire, his dimple deepening when his eyes locked on yours.

“Well, hello there,” you said softly and he grinned. “Appreciate the helping hand.”

“Anytime,” Ted responded as he ran his oiled hands up your belly to your peaked nipples, massaging your breasts and leaning forward to capture your moans between his own lips. You tangled your tongue with his, relishing in the slip of his fingers as he pinched at both nipples. He stood up as he trailed one hand back to its previous location. Done teasing, he wasted no time sliding two fingers into you and you tried to keep your reaction in check but you couldn’t help but whine, “Jesus, fuck Ted you feel so fucking good.”

“Shh, I’m glad, baby,” Ted said quietly, obviously not wanting to draw attention to what was currently happening in the treatment room, “just relax and let me take care of you.” He tilted his fingers up to find the soft spot inside of you that made your soul leave your body as his thumb found your clit, his other hand still alternating between your breasts. You were whimpering and whining and Ted was steadily trying to shush you but you didn’t know how he expected you to stay quiet when he was so expertly taking you apart.

“I…I can’t, fuuck, I can’t stay quiet baby.”

“You have to darlin’, you have to be good for me.”

“Mmm,” you complained but then you caught sight of his erection yet again and you ran your hand over it, smiling when he couldn’t help but press into your palm. You tugged him closer to you by his pocket, using both hands to work his pants open and Ted chuckled, “you’re just not going to let me take care of you, are you?”

You freed Ted’s length from his boxers and smiled up at him, batting your eyelashes. “I just thought something in my mouth might help me keep quiet.”

“Christ,” Ted whispered emphatically as you stroked him a few times. Somehow in all of this fingers had never stopped their slow fucking so you knew he was up to the challenge.

“You’re going to have to fuck my mouth since I don’t have the range of motion I normally do, think you can multitask?”

Ted choked on his spit and coughed, sputtering as he answered, “You’re going to be the absolute death of me.”

But it certainly wasn’t a no, and he did as you asked when you slipped the tip of him between your lips, moving slowly to match the pace of his fingers. You moaned against him, adoring the feeling of him heavy in your mouth, letting your tongue circle the seam of him when he pulled back and relaxing your jaw when he pushed back in. He picked up the pace of both his hips and his fingers and you were so close, your whole body pulsing with desire, your injury forgotten. And then Ted slid in a third finger and you were a goner, the stretch and pressure so overwhelmingly good the only thing stopping you from screaming was his dick in your mouth.

Thankfully, when he felt you clench against his fingers he stopped moving his hips, otherwise you surely would have choked. Your chest was heaving as Ted moved to pull out of your mouth but you shook your head no, leaning over to take him in hand before you released him for a gasp of air, stroking him swiftly until you could take him again. When you were ready you sat up slightly so you had more control and used both your hand and tongue to work him over, his chin tucked to his chest and his hand covering his mouth.

“I’m gonna…baby, I’m about to…” He tried to pull back, but you shook your head again and sank down as far as you could and swallowed, feeling him come down the back of your throat. Now it was Ted’s turn to gasp for air as you sucked him clean and released him.

“Can’t believe this treatment room is still haunted,” Ted said as he tucked himself back in his khakis, “you’re a goddamn succubus.”

You laughed as he helped you back into your clothes. The two of you had been missing from training for so long, you just cleaned up the treatment room and left the stadium hoping no one was suspicious. Ted shot Beard a quick text that he was helping you get home and got just a thumbs up in return.

A couple weeks later now fully healed, Colin stopped by your office and invited you out to the pitch again. You grinned and pulled on your athletic wear, tying up your boots before stepping out next to Ted. The two of you had decided it was long time to stop sneaking around, so this time when you asked, “you sure it’s okay” and Ted told you to get out there, you thanked him with a kiss.

Both of you looked around at the team confused when no one reacted and Ted cleared his throat, “Guess I should let y’all know that, uh, Y/N and I…”

“We know, Coach,” Sam called out with a smile. “And we’re happy for you both.” The team took to the pitch but you and Ted still looked at each other confused until Isaac came over and murmured, “Training room connects to the locker room. And it's not soundproof, bruv.” You’d never seen the color drain from Ted’s face so quickly, but you just followed Isaac out onto the pitch with a smile. It had been worth it.

And despite now knowing about you and Ted—way too much about you and Ted, it seemed—the boys didn’t take it easy on you for one second. Just the way you liked it.

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso x reader #smut #ted lasso reader insert #ted lasso smut

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