#crave peace

[r0st0v0rphan]

The city of my orphanage… where my fucking ASHES WILL BE LAID UPON OFF THE DON RIVER…. Where I laid those two rose bulbs for my dead parents… My homeland is growing worse and worse…. And now enemies are sprawled within our borders…

I feel murderous, I feel a slice worse than any blade has done to my skin… I feel fucking helpless… if I was never TAKEN… I’m so fucking helpless right now… and now my birth family may have to encounter Judas soldiers possibly… God, I don’t deserve this safety. Me out of EVERYONE.

I do not deserve this safety… I just want to be held right now… Why I even try to make sense or pray for peace amongst my people and Home…. My life feels like a horror movie as of lately.

[flowing-between-space]

you, me, and the sound of my fingers in your pussy on a lazy sunday afternoon

[succulentsiren]

I love the serene life. I don’t care who calls me boring. Enjoying my life stress-free, circle small, privacy on 100%, is way richer than overextending and overexposing myself to perform and entertain others.

[trialsofthedas]

Rook: *pulls back the curtain while Viago is showering*

Rook: Hey is this - put the knife away, it’s me - is this the normal box of chocolate or is this the one we poisoned to give to our enemies? I have a craving.

[suave1foru]

Find yours

[mischievous-thunder]

Wade: Retirement age needs to be lowered to 40.

Wade: I'm quite sure that most people around that age have had enough and don't wish to deal with anything anymore. What do you think?

Logan: I think 35 would be more enough because I've been at my limit for the last 170 years.

[curapicas]

It's not lost on me that Syldor thinks Vex is coming to be praised for what he thinks is her highest accomplishment (acquiring Fenthras), meanwhile her speech is a clear indicator of her mental state since it's a direct callback to THIS

makes me insane that she walked into that conversation feeling rock bottom. Makes me twice as insane that when she felt like that was when she really related to her asshole dad's feelings. The layers on this implication, god

It's in the way Vex's first instinct when crushed by grief was to run away and be on her own. It's in the way Syldor didn't let anything stop him from metaphorically doing the same

[abilai]

Black lotus among white lotuses

[starsonablackboard]

by the way, i have an ao3 account!! under the same handle, startsonablackboard. here's a lil piece for my cotl ficlet i wrote a couple of month ago before even finishing the game

i would love to write a whole fanfic for "with death comes peace" at some point, but for now that's all i have to offer. characterisations will probably change, but not much, since this oneshot was the starting point for the whole au

so, if you want to have a taste of my writing or just in the mood for a bite sized narilamb angst, feel free to check it out!!

[sheep-turtles-and-pizza]

[ ^ handing Donnie the silly critter.] Its mystic power is to summon confetti when it gets too silly, damage depends on how dangerous the opponent is. And it's even stronger with another silly critter >:]

Donnie: This is my emotional support critter

Leo: For what??

Donnie: dum dums like you, use self destruct.

Leo: wut-

[pollenallergie]

self-care is rewatching all of bridgerton but skipping to all the parts with philippa and mr. finch because they are truly the only consistently happy couple on this show

[voltstone]

i said what i said.

[suave1foru]

Never letting go

[firelxdykatara]

Dragon Age 4 looks amazing, that gameplay trailer had me on the edge of my seat and I cannot fucking wait for the game to drop. Somewhat less enthused for the inevitable wave of fandom discourse that's gonna rear it's ugly head, especially given how BG3 went over, but whatever. (Also I hate that the name changed to 'The Veilguard', not just because 'Dreadwolf' was cool as fuck but the 'the' throws things off. DAV looks better as an acronym than DATV. But whatever whatever no one consulted ME on this, it's fine, I'm fine.)

It did make me start thinking about Solas again and how little nuance the fandom approached him with last time, and it's just funny because like... it's very easy to understand where Solas is coming from. How he sees what he is planning as necessary, as fixing an ancient wrong that he has always meant to put right.

Will people die? Yes, and he thinks that's unfortunate--and, according to him in the trailer, he took the precautions he could to minimize that loss of life as much as possible. But he's not doing any of this with the specific aim to kill people or 'do genocide'--that was never his goal.

He is trying to fix something that he broke countless ages ago.

As he says, 'the veil is a wound'--a wound that he ripped open in the very fabric of space and time, and which he is trying now to heal.

And the thing is, he is ancient. He does not conceive of time the way mortals do, nor the importance and significance of mortal lives. I would like to think that romanced solas vs unromanced will have some affect on the way he goes about things, because falling in love was entirely unexpected and had to alter his views at least a little. Not enough to sway him from his course, but perhaps enough to make him feel the coming losses more keenly than he otherwise would. But even failing that, the connections he made during Inquisition are clearly not nothing to him--Varric is able to draw his attention, keep him distracted, might even have been on the verge of talking him down, we don't know. But as easily as he shattered Bianca, he could've killed Varric to end the threat he posed, and he didn't.

Mortal lives mean something to him now that they didn't when he set out at the beginning of Inquisition to tear down the veil with no regard for the mortal lives he would destroy in the process. And I'm wondering if those very safeguards are what release the big bads when Rook fucks up his ritual and that leads into the rest of the game. But anyway, my point is this: Solas does not look at life the way someone with a mortal lifespan does. He can't! Modern Thedas is the burned out shell of a building that he once set fire to without realizing what the consequences would be--and he is determined to rebuild it, because no matter what life has sprung up in the cracks of the burned out husk, his original fault was destroying the life that had been there to begin with.

People don't tend to overly worry about the insects and birds nests and whatever else they might have to bulldoze through when it comes to tearing down some condemned structure and rebuilding in its place, and that's how Solas views the modern world of Thedas and the lives within it. And I get disagreeing with him and wanting to stop him at any cost, but I don't get assigning maliciousness or bloodthirst to his motivations when there's no reason to believe he sees this as anything less than a tragic necessity.

Then again, I think Anders was right too so, y'know. But one bomb lobbed into the fandom commonroom at a time lmao.

[kevinsstuffsworld]

"Are you in love?" He thinks about the question.

"I don't know what love is but every time she smiles at me I

feel this is the best moment of my life. It brings me peace.

It makes me want to do better in life.

She just exists and I feel safe. I want to be close to her.

As close as I can be. I want to make her laugh.

I want to protect her from everything she fears.

And I want to give her everything she needs."

He looks at her laughing with her friends.

Smiling alone, he just admires her.

"She is beautiful 🤎🩶

Isn't she?"

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[lorelune]

spent all of therapy this morning talking abt how to stop doomscrolling i love the year of our lord 2024