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julieloves074 · 1 year ago

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I'm yours (Alex Walter x Reader)

Summary: When Jackie comes to town your best friend, and childhood crush, Alex Walter falls head over heels leaving you left behind but when you attend Will's wedding with someone something changes...

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, heartbreak

Words: 6.1k

(Not my GIF :))

The day Jackie arrived in town was an interesting one to say the least. The Walter house was a second home to me all my life, growing up at the ranch next door meant I grew up chasing around the fields with the Walter kids.

It was during dinner at theirs, Walter games night, that Katherine announced her dearest friend had passed away in a car accident and her daughter was going to move in with them. The reactions around the table were mixed, but mostly everyone was just shocked. Over the next months there were whispers and chatter, but I was not prepared for what it would be like when she arrived.

“Morning,” Katherine says when I walked through the front door, her and George were putting on their shoes and jackets.

“Off to get Jackie?” I asked already knowing the answer, I was curious about her, it would be nice to have another girl around.

“Yeah, are you staying around for dinner tonight? It’ll be nice for Jackie to have another girl around today I reckon,” Katherine asked, quite literally reading my mind.

“That would be nice thank you,” I answered, and George let out a laugh opening the door, Katherine gave him an inquisitive look, one brow raised.

“I thought we were past asking each other stuff like that Y/n practically lives here,” Katherine and I looked at each other and burst into a giggle, he wasn’t wrong.

“Alright well we better be off, Alex is in the living room with Issac playing some kind of video game,” Katherine announced grabbing her coat and leaning over to kiss the top of my head.

I muttered back a thanks and headed deeper in the Walter house and to no surprise I found my best friend exactly where Katherine said.

“Y/n hey!” Alex examined practically jumping out of his seat

“Dude! Dude the game- we’ve nearly-” Issac stood with the remote but quickly slumped back down into his seat as the television made a noise to signify the end of the game, “What the hell Alex, that was the closest we’ve ever gotten!” he continued to complain.

“Y/n’s here,” Alex simply pointed out, that Goofy smile on his face, all his teeth showing in his grin.

“Yeah, yeah Y/n’s here,” Issac mocked rolling his eyes at his cousin but giving me a smile and a fist bump as he walked past.

Soon enough Alex and I found ourselves laying around on the sofa with snacks and a random film on. I suggested we head outside, I wanted to work on my tan but he said him and Cole argued again and he was out there with some of the other Walter siblings. I tried not to roll my eyes, I know these boys love and care for each other so why make it so difficult.

“Your parents out of town again?” he sat up to look at me, I reluctantly tuned my head away from the tv and put down the popcorn bowl on the coffee table.

“Uh yeah, they’ve got another showcase a couple towns over, won’t be longer than three days,” I answered, mom and dad were well known by their refined tastes, before I was born they started being judges in all kinds of food showcases all around the country, it all slowed down after I was born but they were still offered lots of positions and sometimes they just couldn’t say no.

“You’re more than welcome to crash here,” Alex said, some of his smile seemed to crumble a little. It’s not that my parents weren’t good parents we just weren’t as close as the Walters and that was that. Plus, I have school, even if I wanted to travel with them when they did it wasn’t always possible.

“Hey, I need to look after Daisy,” I said with a smile, my golden retriever could not sleep unless she’s in one of our beds, “Plus everyone else is still there,” I said confidently kicking his leg to brighten his mood. Mom and dad offer a program where you can come live on the ranch and help with the work for a small wage and all accommodation provided, people who want to travel jump at the opportunity all the time, we have a waitlist, it’s nice being able to meet people from all around the world.

“You know I’m always here for you right?” He asked all serious, hand reaching out to touch mine, I gave him a smile and his hand a squeeze and pulled him into a hug. It felt different somehow these last couple of weeks. I’ve liked Alex, like liked Alex for as long as I could remember and recently it started feeling like maybe he liked me too.

“I know, I’m here for you too,” I whisper back.

“We’re back!” George’s voice announced to the house, Alex stayed sitting on the sofa, but I walked up to the doorway.

“Jackie this is Y/n, Y/n Jackie,” Katherine said with a bright smile. I gave the girl a smile, she looked exactly as I expected she would, beautifully luscious hair and clothes with a scarily perfect posture.

“Hi,” I said reaching out my hand,” I live next door but half the time I swear I spend more time here,” I laugh, and a smile appears on her face, and she shakes my hand.

“Oh, and this is Alex,” Katherine says as we walk past the living room, my eyes go to him like muscle memory, but his don’t even glance my way, he’s looking at her. I feel something then near my heart, a new kind of pain, but I put on a brave smile.

“Theres still two bags in the car would you mind getting them?” George asked Alex who shook himself slightly out of his trance. He stood quickly and headed towards the front door.

Unsure what to do with myself, this was a new feeling, I followed Katherine and Jackie to the kitchen, she poured us some lemonade when her phone started to ring, and she excused herself. From what I gathered she was being called for a job, Katherine was incredibly hard working and did not get half the recognition she deserved.

She apologised and said she was needed for an animal emergency. The job of showing Jackie around was passed onto me and Will who had just walked through the door and introduced himself.

We headed outside and finally I was blessed with the rays of sunshine dancing on my skin, the weather was truly magnificent. Will continued pointing everyone out to Jackie and I looked at each of the Walters outside in turn, I really was lucky to be surrounded by these people, and Jackie would soon know that she ended up with the most loving people in the world.

“Who’s that?” she whispered to me when a certain blonde, very dramatically, flipped back his hair and climbed out of the pool. I shook my head turning to see her practically gaping at him and let out a giggle.

“That’s Cole, the big flirt of the town,” I explained, her eyes never left him.

“Do you want to introduce yourself?” Will asked, he was too busy answering Parker’s question to hear Jackie and I.

Cole sat back on one of the lounge chairs brushing his hair back with one hand, the other already resting under his head. He opened his eyes ever so slightly to look in our direction, “She’ll figure it out,” he said in that teasing Cole voice.

“Told ya,” I continued, and Jackie laughed, I looped my arm through hers, ‘I’ll show you to your room then,”

“And Cole and I will start brining up your belongings right?” Will commanded more than questioned, Cole let out a groan but got up.

After a few minutes Alex had bought up Jackie’s other two bags and started helping Cole bring up her boxes of stuff which there seemed to be a lot of. I sat there with Jackie helping her unpack her suitcases and giving her some insight into town and the school. I had to watch both the Walter brothers try to make her laugh and shine their beautiful eyes at her each time they interchangeably came up.

“So, are you related to the Walters or?” She asked when Alex left after dropping off another box, I couldn’t help but let out an audible laugh.

“Oh no, no, I’ve grown up next door so basically know them since we were all in diapers, but no not related” I explained and she nodded, placing some stationary precisely on her desk, “So if you ever needany blackmail let me know,” I whispered and we laughed together. Katherine was right, I hope I was making this easier for her.

Katherine arrived back in time for dinner, George prepared a barbeque, Alex and I set up some tables outside and bought paper plates. It almost seemed like any other dinner apart from the fact that Alex spent almost all of it staring or talking to Jackie. He wasn’t the only one though. Cole. This was my new reality I realised and start bracing myself mentally.

Even with the family’s insistence I left right after dinner with the excuse that I had some last minute homework I needed to finish for tomorrow’s English class. It had been a long day, and I just needed some space to process and breathe.

I was almost to the gate when Alex ran up to me, “Hey you alright?” he asked walking alongside me, I nodded and told him that I still needed to finish reading that one short story, which was true, and before he could tell me to just read his copy hear I asked him a question.

“What do you think of Jackie?”

“She’s, uh, she seems really nice,” he almost seemed a little flushed, “I’m excited to get to know here, I think she’ll like it here,” he said, “What about you? You guys seemed to get cozy gossiping away”

“She seems lovely, this obviously isn’t easy for her, it’ll be nice to have a girl my age around the ranch,” I said honestly, things were going to be different now, so I just had to learn to roll with it and make the best of it, even though I see exactly how this is going to play out, I need to gossip with Danny about it, see if he agrees.

***

It’s been just over two weeks since Jackie has arrived at the ranch, and so far things have been pretty normal, if not better. We hung out every day, I showed her around school, we avoided Erin together and I introduced her to Tara and Skylar, but her and I got close quickly.

I had to finish my group project with my science class mates and it was the worst experience of my life, they were all absolutely useless, as much as we aren’t really fond of each other I’d hope they’d be able to put those feelings aside just to finish this project but no, they like to make things difficult. Now I wanted nothing more than to flop on Alex’s bed with some ice-cream and complain about it for half hour whilst he tried and is mostly successful in making me laugh.

My plan was not going to go quite as I wanted though, I walk through the farm’s beautiful, wooden gates only to hear Alex and Jackie talking. At first I reminded myself to not think anything of it, they too were starting to become good friends, which was good- so why did it hurt hearing her laugh that enchanting, contagious laugh from inside the barn that contained the loft. Kid’s heaven as we liked to call it. Alex and I called it our getaway when we needed to talk about something serious, it was also a non-judgement zone.

I approached the barn cautiously in hopes of not being spotted, this wasn’t spying it was- information gathering to make the best possible choices going forward. Who am I kidding this was stupid, I needed to walk away or make myself obvious. Running a hand through my hair I turned to walk towards the house, maybe Katherine was around.

“Spying are we y/n/n?” Cole asked, causing me to jump slightly, one of my hands landing on my chest.

“Jesus Cole I’d like to live to my thirties- at least,” I let out wacking him on the arm, he let out a laugh, one too similar yet so different from Alex’s, yet his knowing glance didn’t change, “No I was not spying I just didn’t want to interrupt,” I said defensively brushing past him.

“Whatever you say…” he started, managing to get perfectly in step with me, “Suppose I don’t need to tell you then,” he continued to tease. I kept my sight ahead of me, lips pursing together, running my tongue over my front teeth, I would not give him the satisfaction.

Cole found out about my little thing for Alex from Erin, her and I used to be best friends before she became ‘popular’ she used the information to get Cole’s attention in the first place, but this didn’t mean I needed to give Cole the power now.

We kept walking towards the house in silence, it was eating away at me and my lack of patience. I let out a huff as we got onto the porch, “What were you going to tell me?” I asked reluctantly.

“Oh how I could bully you right now,” he clasped his hands together mischievously and I turned away from him to go into the house, “Okay, okay,” he said grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me back towards him, we both leaned over the railing.

“He likes her doesn’t he?” I asked even though I already knew the answer, I could see Cole nodding his head in the corner of my eye. Damn how quickly Alex Walter fell.

I turned to face him; he kept looking out at the fields.

“You like her too,” I said in a whisper, it was a realisation I hadn’t meant to voice out loud. He sucked in a deep breath.

“I mean I don’t really know her, she just moved her but-”

“You feel like you’ve known each other forever? There’s just something fascinating about her that you can’t let that little flame of hope give out?” I asked, completely monotone, I related too much to what I was saying.

“Wow we’re saddos,” he laughed nudging me to the side.

“Yeah we really are,” I said, leaning against the railing again.

“But you don’t want to hurt him do you? We don’t need a repeat of the Paige situation,” he tensed up at my words, even though Alex is my best friend all of the Walter kids are my friends and they’re all family. I know Cole didn’t know about Paige and everything was blown out of proportion. But the fact that it was all a miscommunication but we were still suffering the consequences now and we did not need another destructive wave.

“Come on lets crash their little moment,” he said changing the subject, refusing to talk about it, the normal playfulness of his voice gone. I sighed and nodded, we headed towards the barn in perfect time to see Alex brushing Jackie’s hair out her face.

“Uh-um” Cole’s voice beamed into the mostly empty building, both of them turned to us and stepped apart.

“Oh y/n I have to show you this new board game Jackie and I bought in an antique shop the other day,” he came towards me, turning around to smile at Jackie once more, “Don’t forget the book, it’ll be nice to talk to someone who actually likes the Hobbit,” he said playfully turning to me, “Unlike some who don’t appreciate the art,” he continued.

That comment should not have hurt as much as it did, it was a light-hearted joke but it felt like it was leaving a gap in my heart causing my heart rate to increase.

“I’ll see you in a bit Jackie,” I said with as much of a smile as I could muster, she nodded back, clearly not wanting to be left alone with Cole after the whole bleach situation, and the good friend part of my didn’t want to leave her stranded, but Cole is a good guy- for the most part- and he deserves a chance to apologise for his sometimes stupid behaviour.

Alex started to describe the game excitedly as we headed towards the house, we were walking up the stairs when a voice called from behind us.

“Hey, Alex, Y/n hold up! I’ll come play with you!” Jackie shouted jogging to come meet us, and that’s how I ended up playing a board game with the two of them subtly flirting for two hours before finally having a chance to excuse myself.

***

Mom and dad have never gone away over a holiday before, but this thanksgiving I was left all alone in our house. Or more accurately I was being left with the Walters. This was a different kind of travel though. My grandmother from my dad’s side was getting continuously worse but they didn’t want to interrupt my holidays and wanted to keep me in a routine, so they asked me to stay and took Daisy with them.

I had slept at the Walter house last night, Jackie and I fell asleep on the sofa watching Lemonade Mouth, I knew Jackie was dreading today and did not want to cook so I promised I’d cover for her and cook a plate in her honour instead while she went on her food delivery rounds. Little did she know her uncle Richard was coming to the dinner.

I wasn’t supposed to know either but I had accidently walked in when Katherine was on the phone to him and she did a little excited dance move when I assumed he agreed. I think this will be good for her, seeing a familiar face. Getting her to come back to the house for dinner without revealing the surprise was going to be harder.

I thanked Katherine for grabbing the supplies for some bacon-topped green bean casserole, mom’s favourite recipe and stepped into my chef era in the kitchen. My side dish can be eaten cold or heated up so I decided to cook before everyone else piled into the kitchen.

Singing along to one of my playlists I moved around the kitchen like it was my dance floor, I’m not a fantastic cook, but I’m not the worst so I just tried to make it fun whilst stimulating my short attention span.

I heard footsteps and a voice, not a great one, joining in. I smiled and looked up from the cutting board to see Alex dancing awkwardly around the kitchen island.

“Oh I love this song,” he enthused coming towards me, I tried to move away and resist, but he took the knife out of my hand cautiously and pulled me closer, both his hands in mine and we rushed around the kitchen singing our favourite song. I should have known the second this tune came on it would act as a whistle to the Walter boy.

He twirled me around five or six times causing me to get a little dizzy, we giggled like five year olds without a care in the world. Unfortunately, as the song came to end so did our moment. We stood there for a couple moments trying to catch our breaths. I couldn’t help but gleam.

One look at Alex’s red, out of breath face and I burst into laughter again.

“Stop it! Come on stop it I need to breath,” he managed to get out between attempted breaths and laughter.

“Well, I didn’t know you were such a confident dancer Walter,” I said winking at him. He smacked my arm walking around to put some bacon in his mouth, “Leave it alone or we’ll have none for later,” I chided playfully.

“More of a confident dancer than a confident cook,” he said and I couldn’t agree with him more, “Thankfully mom has let me get away with just making the mash this year,” and we all thanked her for it.

“Do you remember that time you were trying to cook some chicken and somehow managed to get it spilt half over the floor and the rest drowning under the undercooked cheese sauce and almost gave both of us food poisoning?” I asked chucking a green bean into my mouth. He covered his eyes with his hands and sighed at the memory.

“How many times can I apologise for that? Also come on I was like twelve, how much can a twelve year old boy know about cooking?!” He asked running a hand down his face.

“Well, I’d assume more than that, your mom and dad are incredible cooks,” I said, then got interrupted when the phone on the counter started playing a happy tune, it wasn’t mine.

Alex picked up his phone to look at the caller before turning back to me, “Give me a sec just gotta answer this,” he said before sitting down and speaking into the phone. I run my hand over my nose and returned back to my station and cutting up the bacon into smaller slices, every now and then looking up to Alex, watching the smile that takes over his whole face, trying to guess who was on the other side of the phone even though deep down I think I already knew.

“Yes Jackie I’ll make sure to remind you about that later, okay bye,” he said followed by a laughter. My suspicions were confirmed and all of a sudden there was nothing more interesting in the room other than my cutting board, I was nearly done then I could get out of here for a couple of hours. If Jackie could so could I, especially considering I didn’t actually live here.

“I’m going to talk to her today, I’m going to tell her how I feel,” Alex announced bravely.

My hands stopped in motion, and I looked up at him, not quite sure I heard him right, “ You’re going to do what? Do you really think that’s the right thing to do? I mean especially now at thanksgiving when she’s missing her family and-” I started but cut myself off before I could ruin Jackie’s surprise for anyone else.

“Things have been going really well y/n, I thought you’d be happier for me if I’m honest,” a bit of his smile faded and I looked back down at my cutting board, throwing the rest of the bacon into my casserole.

“I just meant you guys live together, let’s say things go south, what happens then?”

“Why do you always have to be so negative about this, every time I talk to you about Jackie you get like this,” he was hurt, I could tell by the slightly change in his tone.

“I’m being realistic, you’ve got to think about the rest of the family as well,” I defended myself turning around to wash up everything I used I wanted to add you’ve got to think about me, how after all this time, when we too acted like that can you didn’t see me too.

He huffed and then just as his steps came closer they got further way, and with each beat my heart sunk further and further.

I spent the dinner watching him watch her, watching Cole watch her, and the whole debacle with her uncle go down and Erin sat two seats down from me- what was happening? How quickly do things go so out of control. He wouldn’t even spare me a glance, all of a sudden I felt invisible at the Walter table, which now I suppose that could happen effortlessly with purely the number of us.

We all sat in the living room later that evening, after Jackie decided she was going to stay, playing card games and laughing along to some general knowledge game show where people were barely ever right because the questions were so bizarre. Jackie left after a little while claiming she just needed some time to process this whole day.

What hurt was the way Alex followed her up a few minutes later like a lost puppy. I knew where he was going, what he was going to do and say, it was making me feel physically sick. Like someone was squashing both my stomach and my heart at the same time. I went to get some water. I took a few deep breaths while standing at the sink, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe so I went out towards the barn. I sat on the fence and looked out onto the ranch, not allowing myself to look back at the house.

That wasn’t the worst of it though. I thought it couldn’t get worse, more painful, but never say never. Jackie called me up to her room later, I’m staying the night at the Walter’s for two more nights until my parents got back. Hearing her explain what happened in detail was much, much worse than sitting on the fence outside and imagining how it played out.

She sounded so excited talking about how they kissed and how he gave her this whole cute proclamation, she didn’t realise that every word, every description she gave me pushed a knife a little deeper into my heart. He took her to our spot where when the sun starts going down it shimmers perfectly between two tall trees. I nodded along and tried my best to feign excitement, but I couldn’t tell how good of a job I was doing, she was too caught up in her giddiness to notice if I was doing a shit job.

I knew it could be worse though I told myself, this whole explanation could be coming out of Alex’s mouth, and if it did I think I would actually, physically be sick. I couldn’t see him right now or talk to him. I needed to not be at the Walter house for a couple of days so I could avoid the incoming PDA.

I told Katherine one of the volunteers ended up coming back early after the holiday and that I offered to go spend the evening with them, so they weren’t alone, she wasn’t too thrilled about the idea but she let me go, I think she sensed my urgency but didn’t want to press. I think she probably knew more about what was at play here than we realised.

***

Over the next couple of weeks, the sight of Jackie and Alex became imprinted in my mind. I didn’t avoid either of them, but I didn’t go out my way to spend time with them either, mostly because they were always together and always touching, but it’s not like they showed much of an effort to reach out to me either. I knew of course that they were in the honeymoon stage, but I also knew the best way to stop breaking my heart was to limit contact.

When I realised that this thing was going to be a thing for a while I started reaching out to my other peers more, hanging out with new people in the time I used to spend with the Walter’s and Jackie. Turns out one guy from my science group was actually quite nice, and he wasn’t bad looking. No matter what he was not Alex but I could see myself being happy with Seb. We talked, called, and hung out more and more until we officially started dating, he agreed to attend the oldest Walter brother’s wedding with me which was kind of him since he didn’t really know any of them very well. I think that was why I was drawn to him; he was outside this bubble and I desperately wanted to get out too.

“Aren’t you excited? You love the Walters,” Seb asked as we walked through the big wooden gate. My arm was looped through his. I took a deep breath and smiled, it was genuine, I was excited that Will and Hayley were finally doing what was going to make them happy and that we all got to be here to celebrate with them, in the place that we all love. Mom and dad already joined the Walter’s earlier to help set up.

We were met with the twins by the entrance to the field, and for today the wedding venue, many guests were already sitting down, Nathan sat on the other side of the gate tuning his guitar, I’m so glad they let him do this, it’ll be a memory he’ll hold for the rest of his life.

“You look beautiful,” Danny said as we got into conversation, Seb was seemingly finding many common subjects for them to talk about but my mind was distracted as I tried to stop myself from looking around and looking for him. Blue was my colour he’s said it himself many times before, maybe he’ll give me a compliment too, like he used to.

“Looking good Jackie,” Danny said as she came our way, mom said she basically planned this whole event by herself.

“You look great Jackie,” I added with a smile, she also wore a beautiful baby blue dress with a shoulder cover, her style choices never missed and whoever came up with the colour scheme should be given a bonus.

“You too Y/n, feels like I barely see you now a days, but we’re seated together so we’ll have the chance to catch up,” she smiled and reached out to hold me hand, “come on lets sit down we’re going to start in a minute”. I called Seb and we went to sit down.

“Hi y/n you look lovely, Seb,” Alex came up to us to sit next to Jackie, we’ve talked here and there, and god did I miss him and his goofy smile. He put his arm around Jackie and we all talked a little, Seb’s hand landed on my knee and whilst usually it was quite nice right now it felt suffocating, like I was in a prison of my own making.

The actual wedding ceremony was beautiful, they both looked great and you could just tell by the glimmer in their eyes that they’re so in love. Everything was going smoothly until Cole’s speech, he didn’t do anything wrong, he was honest and spoke from the heart, whether I could believe entirely that it was just about Hayley and Will I wasn’t sure but who else but us kids would be able to tell.

It was during the speech that Alex started getting fidgety, I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, run my thumb over his skin soothing him but I couldn’t, Jackie wasn’t helping much either, staring at Cole as if he’s some kind of god, eyes almost watering as he spoke.

Seb put his arm around me and I learned into him, my head on his shoulder eyes closed. When I opened them back up after Cole finished Alex was looking directly at me. I gave him a smile, but he looked away quickly.

I regretted complimenting the flowers as soon as Nathan explained their meaning and Jackie’s and Cole’s eyes found each other like magnets again, but when I looked to Alex his eyes were once again on me, he put his arm around Jackie and whispered something in her ear, she nodded but her eyes were cautious, unsure.

The dancing began soon after, Seb quickly asked if I wanted to dance sensing the awkward atmosphere at the table, he wasn’t so good with dealing with awkward bless him. Jackie and Alex didn’t take long to join us, they danced closer together whispering in each other’s ears, his hand ran up and down her arm.

I couldn’t watch any longer, “I’m sorry, I need to just take a second,” I hurried out of Seb’s, who now looked very confused, arms and towards the house. I could hear him faintly asking if he wanted me to come but I couldn’t answer, I grabbed onto my chest trying to get myself to breathe normally. I hope my exit wasn’t as dramatic on the larger scale as it felt.

The downstairs bathroom was girl heaven in this house, the one place where all you could smell was some kind of flowers, every surface was constantly clean and it was a clear zone from the Walter boys.

“Y/n/n,” a voice asked followed by a series of knocks, I would know that secret pattern anyway, I wiped my nose again, I wanted to tell him to go away, I didn’t need him seeing me like this, pitying me. “Come on Y/n can we talk?”, after a few seconds he still stood there, waiting, “I know I’m idiot, please,” this time I could clearly hear the desperation in his voice.

I opened the door and leaned to sit back down on the side of the bath. I didn’t want to meet his eyes. He reached out for my arms and lifted me up, my gaze still on the floor. I wasn’t expecting him to pull me into the biggest embrace of my life. I frozen for a second unable to move, but I melted into the hug, my hands sound their way around his neck and he pulled me closer.

“I’m so sorry Y/n I’ve been an idiot, who didn’t know what good he had until he lost it,” he pulled away just enough to see my face, “and now I’ve made you cry, wow I really am the worst,” I chuckled at this.

“I ended things with Jackie, I think we were both pretending that we worked because we were both scared,” he said with contemplation.

“Scared of what?” I asked but it came out as a whisper.

He looked between both of my eyes, his hands unravelled from around me to secure a place on my face. We were so close I could feel his breath on me.

“To do this,” he whispered back and closed the gap between us, his lips met mine, my hands went to his waist and he pulled me closer and closer. When he pulled away it seemed like I was in some starstruck haze, we’d kissed before at some party playing spin the bottle but that was nothing compared to this.

“Will you forgive me? Can we start this over?” He asked hopefully. I wanted to immediately jump into his arms and kiss him again but then there was Jackie and Seb.

“What about Jackie?” I asked weakly.

“I think we both know her and Cole have had this connection from the beginning it, but I was her safe option, just like she was mine and Seb is yours, my god I couldn’t watch any time his hands came anywhere near you, knowing that should have been me, it could have been me all along,” he said and this time I went on my tip toes, arms around his neck and kissed him like I’ve never been kissed before. Now I would just have to figure out a way to tell Seb.

“Don’t think you’re completely off the hook for ditching me for a girl,” I said walking out of the bathroom with a glance over my shoulder.

“Oh no I know I’ve got to work for it, but where are you going I want to kiss you, I need to kiss you come back!” he called trailing behind me.

“I need to talk to Seb,” I said solemnly, though I’ve got to admit a wedding is the worst place for all of this to work out. Seb was very understanding, I think he could tell what was coming from miles away but wanted to give me the benefit of the doubt. We hugged one last time and he went over to talk to Danny and some of the others.

Jackie started walking towards the barn, Cole must have ran away too, I chuckled to myself, she turned around for a second meeting my eye. She gave me a bright smile and put up both her thumbs up at me, I put a thumbs up back, and that was how I knew we were okay.

“So you want to dance?” Alex asked pulling my attention back to him. I agreed but only if it was proper dancing not whatever weird arm tugging thing he was doing with Jackie.

And so we danced the night away, all of us kids being the last ones left out in the night. We sat around and talked, played board games in one of the tents till morning, it was finally like everything was in place.

I leaned my head on Alex’s shoulders as everyone started heading to bed. Now everything was in place.

MASTERLIST

#alex walter #alex walter x reader #my life with the walter boys #mlwtwb #romance #cole walter x reader #netflix

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niqhtlord01 · 9 months ago

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Humans are weird: Poop Crystals

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

The pace in which human technology progressed over the millennia was rather standard for a class 4 species. Even when accounting the periods of scientific degradation which resulted from natural plagues or religious persecution; it was expected that humans would not achieve advanced space travel until another 2-3 thousand years had passed.

Scientifically speaking human scientists were well more advanced than the society they lived in, but due to the technological limitations of the human race they were held back from implementing their designs. A primary limitation was the lack of a sufficiently powerful power source. They did have many different forms of power generators ranging from solar to nuclear, but to power larger machines often required equally large energy sources. To power their ships alone around a third of their vessels were dedicated to the power cores.

With these restrictions in place travel between stars for humans often relied on decade long journeys in cryo sleep; which ironically required even more power generators to maintain. Their large size made them easy targets for natural disasters such as space debris or prowling space pirates seeking an easy profit margin at the slave markets. These dangers became a standard for human travel until the Terran civilization encountered the planet Nolla 987 and the species that called it home.

During a long duration colonization trip the human ship “Midas” was struck by the trail debris of a rogue comet and knocked off course. The robotic caretakers tried their best to maintain the course, but with the damage done to the ship their primary programming to maintain the lives of the crew kicked in and diverted the ship to the nearest habitable planet for debarkation. Nolla 987 was the closest planet with a stable atmosphere. Originally charted several years earlier but deemed unsuitable for colonization or industrial expansion, it was not ear marked for either and left alone; until the Midas incident that is.

The landing was not a smooth one. Several engines had been damaged and multiple hull breaches resulted in portions of the ship being shredded away during the entry process. It would be safer to say that the Midas crash landed during the final stretch of the maneuver, but with a 73% survival rate of the crew a rather acceptable crash landing.

One by one the crew and colonists were unfrozen to find the ship a burning wreck and only a handful of robotic assistants still functioning. The industrial printing machines were relatively undamaged but without the ships power core they could not be used to print components or tools needed to make the necessary repairs. The crew was then forced to ration its remaining power supply and divided into two teams. The first team would comb through the wreckage and salvage what they could of the wreck while also building shelter. The second group would scout the surrounding area for anything of use and then report back.

It did not take long for the second team to stumble upon a nest of the dominant species of the planet. An insectoid called the “Sectar” which ranged from the size of a house cat to as large as a two story building. These insects digested their food and excreted the waste into a dense crystalian substance that they then used to build massive hive like complexes.

The occupants of the hive had been driven from the hive by the crash landing of the Midas leaving it almost completely empty save for a few eggs and new hatchlings who were not strong enough to flee on their own. Several of the second team members had been scanning the crystal structures while interacting with the newborn Sectar’s. To quote a journal entry of one of them, “They were like insect golden retrievers. Extremely derpy with at least four times as many sets of eyes. They followed us around on their legs like we were their mothers and clung to our legs when we began to return to our ship for the night.”

At least one of the second team was confirmed to have brought a hatchling back to their camp. There was a debate amongst the survivors on if they should try and eat it, but the notion was quickly squashed as they still had food reserves and no one was brave enough to see how the alien’s bio matter would react inside the human digestive system.

The same human who had brought the hatchling back offered it a portion of food which it eagerly ate. Not long after the hatchling excreted a hardened crystal roughly the size of a thimble. When the human made to pick up the seemingly beautiful gem they recoiled as an electrical discharge shocked their hand. This immediately drew the attention of the rest of the crew who began carefully examining the crystal substance. After some rather rough jury-rigging, the crystal was wired into one of the printer machines and to the surprise of everyone powered the machine. The crew quickly learned that the older Sectar’s would produce larger crystal excrements but were extremely hostile and territorial. Smaller Sectar’s were deemed more desirable for the time being as they were easier to train and harvest crystals from.

Within a matter of days the crew had not only collected enough crystals to power all of their machines and send out a distress signal, but also used the new found crystal power to create a full settlement on the planet complete with water filtration, crop fields, and a sizeable wall to keep out the native wildlife.

It would not be for another thirty years before a passing human shipped picked up their distress signal and went to investigate the planet. When they arrived on Nolla 987 they were astonished to find a fully functioning colony complete with limited orbital facilities. Nearly every human settler and their descendants had a Sectar in their household that they would take care of and feed and in exchange use their crystal excrement to power nearly everything they needed to live.

From there it was only a matter of time before the entirety of human space was aware of the events of Nolla 987 and the Sectar species. Within the decade the colony on Nolla 987 became the capital for a fully settled world with dozens of cities and communities. The Sectar species were transported throughout human space and began being implemented in all aspects of society.

There was initial resistance to the new power source by existing power blocks which realized Sectar power would be far more efficient than nuclear powered engines, but unlike other power sources they had squashed in development the Sectar power option had thirty years of trial and error to back it up with research as well as a fully functioning model with the planet of Nolla 987.

Sectar’s became a common sight on every human planet and were treated like common pets. It was even studied that when introduced to different food sources the energy output of crystal excrement could be increased resulting in certain food industries booming overnight. The composition of spices, cooking technique, and flavoring became an entirely new and highly prestigious academic field with the most successful of its practitioners being highly sought after by companies.

The technological capabilities of humanity experienced a massive surge in advancement within fifty years to the point humans no longer needed cryo ships to travel between stars. Those who had been studying humanity found themselves now being introduced to them as humans winded up on their doorstep with a Sectar on their shoulder and a perverse obsession with collecting its bodily waste.

#humans are insane #humans are weird #humans are space oddities #humans are space orcs #scifi #story #writing #original writing #niqhtlord01 #funny

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silvergyus · 4 months ago

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straight a students- h.kk

pairing: university students! hueningkai x reader

summary: you and kai are the top students in competition for a coveted spot on a study abroad. what happens when acceptance emails go out?

warnings: this fic is all-ages!/ academic rivals trope/ reader cries in front of kai

word count: 1,100+

author's note: this is drawn from my own life experiences (guess which ones lol). hyuka and reader's major is kept intentionally vague and if the set up isn't actually how study abroad programs work, just ignore it. requested by @lunesdesire as part of my 500 followers celebration

Childhood dreams of studying in castles with vast libraries and cool, foggy mornings were so close you could almost taste them. You’d worked hard the last three years to perfect your application. You wanted this, no, you needed this. And you weren’t going to let big, stupid, perfect HueningKai get the spot over you.

The trip pulled from multiple universities so there was only one, highly coveted spot allowed from yours. Kai was your unofficial opponent in the competition for it. The two of you had been in nearly every class together all three years of undergrad, and were locked in an unofficial competition for top student. Who could write the best reports, who could earn the highest test scores. It was neck-and-neck as to which of you would get picked to study abroad. No matter how hard you worked, he seemed to work just as hard.

----

You settled into your seat, nerves twisting your stomach into knots.

Acceptance emails went out at 11a.m.

Class ran from 10 to 12.

You weren’t going to learn a thing.

----

Class dismissed with the professor smiling warmly at you and then at Kai. What could that mean? Did she know already which one of you was triumphant, which one of you would pack your bags for a semester away? Was yours a pity smile and his a smile of congratulations? Or was it the other way around?

You shook your head. No time to think like that. You smiled politely back before rushing out of the classroom, down the hall and into the courtyard.

You opened your phone. There it was. Arrived in your inbox at precisely 11:03a.m.

You didn’t dare take a breath. Chest tight as you hurriedly opened the message, eyes racing over the formal words.

“...many strong candidates…”

“...we regret to inform you…”

You felt the world stop, the breath you’d held so tightly escaping in a ragged huff. What were you going to do now?

----

A heavy feeling of dejection had settled over your body in the hours since the rejection email shattered your dreams. You hoped that the quiet and repetition of shelving books would help to calm your mind. You loved your campus job: putting books back in their assigned spots in the library. The stacks were your safe space, just you and the books.

And HueningKai.

He was hunched over an array of textbooks, pouring over their contents. He hadn’t noticed you yet, half hidden in the rows of books, legs obscured by your rolling cart.

Anger and disappointment flashed in your chest. A lump formed immediately in your throat. The news was still fresh, the wound still raw. And there, in your safe haven, sat the man that had taken it all away from you.

You hurried to get away before he saw you. The thought of having to face him when your chest felt this tight and your eyes this watery was too much to bear. You pushed the wobbly cart around the corner, towards the safety of the next aisle. In your rush, a large textbook tumbled from your cart, crashing to the floor and piercing the near silence.

Kai looked up towards the sound, recognition flashing across his face when he spotted you. His voice was slow, unsure, and awkward as he whispered loudly across the space. “H- hey.”

You didn’t look up, eyes trained on retrieving the fallen book. You didn’t trust yourself to reply.

“So uh, emails went out.”

Tears threatened to fall as he spoke. It wasn’t fair, the universe playing a sick joke on you like this. First it took away everything you worked hard for, then it put Kai here to rub it in your face?

“That was um, maybe not what-” You couldn’t let him finish before tears began to stream silently down your face. Shame burned as hot as the tears down your cheeks. You’d done everything you could and yet you weren’t as good as him.

Kai stuttered, confused, before standing up in a rush. The chair scraped across the tiled floor, loud in the quiet room. He seemed unsure of what to do as you wiped your eyes, embarrassed at the falling tears. You tried to turn away, to run from this embarrassment, but suddenly his arms were around you in a tight hug.

He was warm, was what you noticed first, soft cotton t-shirt pressed against your cheek, soft flannel sleeves holding you close. He was big, his broad chest the perfect height for you to hide away in. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke, “hey, it’s alright.”

His hug was so incredibly comfortable, and if it was anyone else you’d ask to stay there forever, but it didn’t feel right, being comforted by the guy you lost to. You struggled out of his hold to look him in the eyes. Soft, brown eyes stared back, slightly confused.

“It’s fine Kai. I don’t need your pity.”

He cocked his head at your words. “What do you mean? You got in.”

Your head spun, gears turning as you tried to make sense of what he just said. “What? N-no.” It broke your heart to speak the next words, “I didn’t.”

“You didn’t get in either?” He asked.

You were sure you looked as confused as you felt, struggling to piece together what really occurred. “No, I- no. I thought you did.”

A beat of silence hung in the air between you before a broken laugh erupted from your chest. “Then who got in?”

He laughed, something loud and deep and silly. “I don’t know! I thought it was you.”

The air was light between you now, years of silent rivalry ended by one email. You were no longer two perfect students competing for the top spot. Now you were just two students in the same program.

He smiled at you warmly before reaching up. “You’ve got a, uh.” His thumb gently brushed against your cheek, wiping off the tear that still stained it.

“Hey, um, do you want to study with me and maybe figure out who got in over us? When you're done with your shift I mean.”

You smiled. “These are actually the last books I have to put away before my shift ends.”

“Cool, cool.” You noticed a twinge of pink blooming across his cheeks as he kneaded his lips together. “Cool.”

The lump in your chest subsided a bit. Maybe you weren’t going on the trip, achieving the dreams you’d put in your journal since childhood. But maybe through this, you could gain a friend.

taglist: @lunesdesire, @dearlyjun, @moamidzyism, @miupow

send a message to be added or removed from my taglist!

#txt fluff #txt soft hours #hueningkai soft hours #hueningkai fluff #ari writes #txt: kai #ari's 500 followers celebration 🪩

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novella-november · 3 months ago

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Tiny Tip #2

So, you've decided to take up creative writing! You open up your preferred writing program and go to open up your last file, which is your 20,000 word first draft of a novel-- until, uh oh! An error message pops up, saying the file is corrupted, can't be retrieved, etc!

Or, say lightning strikes your house, and fries your computer--!

Or, a cat comes scampering across your computer desk, sending your computer crashing to the floor where it promptly explodes in a million prices --!

How to you avoid losing all your hard work in these scenarios?

✨By Backing up your work regularly✨

You should take steps right now with any important documents you have on your computer!

Here's some very simple ways you can back your work up, from completely free to paid services:

Each day that you make changes to your main writing document(s), make a brand new copy with the "Save-as" function, and label each one with that day's date, so you have a complete timeline of documents from day one to current day, instead of all being one single document.

Email the Docx / ODF file to yourself once a day, and if you have more than one email, or a trusted friend/family member, email it to them as well in case you somehow lose access to your account.

use Google Docs to back up your documents or for cross-platform writing, or if you use Google Docs as your main writing program, back up your writing locally to Libreoffice and all other methods mentioned above. It only takes 1 issue with logging into your account or a service outage to lose access to your work on google docs!

Use 4thewords as another online cloud service to back up your writing and write cross platform

Use A cloud drive service to back up your works once a day, such as Google Drive, Mega, One Drive, IDrive, Sync Drive, etc to back up your works once a day

Use Calibre to convert your document into an ebook format or PDF, and send it to your phone as an extra backup, and a handy way to reference your writing on the go.

#writing #tiny tips #BACK YOUR WRITING UP YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN #BACK IT UP AT MINIMUM ONCE A DAY OR ANY TIME YOU MAKE MAJOR CHANGES #bold text #large text

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marvel-starwarsfangirl · 11 months ago

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BB Season 3 Title Speculations

Just my theories as to what could happen based on the episode names.

"Confined"- This will be strongly Omega and Crosshair centric. I think a lot of clips, including the ones from the trailer where they see each other and the leaked clip, will take place in this episode. It's clear that Crosshair is at his all time lowest so it can only go up from here. We probably will see a glimpse of Hunter and Wrecker, but the name suggests a strong focus on Omega and Cross. This is pre-time jump btw based on Omega's hair. We might also get that Palpatine scene of him saying how important Hemlock's work is as well.

"Paths Unknown"- this gives me strong Hunter and Wrecker vibes. I think it's safe to say that this episode will focus on what the two have been up to since Omega's capture and Tech's "death." Hopefully, we'll see a bit of Rex and Echo as well. However, I feel like this will be more of the boys trying to pick themselves up and find out any info on Omega. We might also see the scenes of them talking to Rex.

"Shadows of Tantiss"- again, this sounds very Omega and Crosshair centric. The use of the word shadows indicate dark times for the pair as Hemlock's control tightens and Cross presumably retreats even further within himself. Maybe this is the episode where we get the time jump since the word "shadows" could mean that time has passed since we last saw the pair.

"A Different Approach"- This could mean two things: either Cross and Omega try a new way to escape or Hunter turns to bounty hunters to help. In the trailer, Fennec is visible with Hunter and Wrecker when they take that boat in the swamp.

"The Return"- this episode name could have a double meaning like the last one. The most obvious one is that it's the return of Crosshair. We know that he and Omega potentially escape and crash land in a ship. I have a theory that they'll both make it out, however, Omega gets captured again, sacrificing her freedom for Crosshair's. Another meaning could be the return of Ventress. It makes sense since she's a pretty big character within the animated shows. I think that we'll meet her on Teth. However, I'm unsure.

"Infiltration" and "The Extraction"- these two episodes seem to go hand in hand. I'm not sure what could happen based on the trailers. Maybe the Batch has to go somewhere to retrieve information or an item for a mission. Maybe that turbo tank chase is during these episodes because Phee comments "not exactly a stealth exit boys." However, I think that could actually be the episode "Juggernaut." Since this is a two-parter, I speculate that we might also see bounty hunters after the Batch.

"Bad Territory"- this episode feels more mission-y based because of the name. It sounds like the Batch are going to a planet where hijinks ensue and they wind up in trouble. It could also mean the return of bounty hunters like Cad Bane or clone assassins but who knows.

"The Harbinger"- now this is where things get interesting. At its most basic definition, a harbinger is person or thing that signals the arrival of something, a herald so to speak. I think this is the episode where we see the mysterious imperial take front and center. Maybe he's a harbinger of doom that the Batch have to out maneuver. Or maybe the Batch receive a warning that Omega's life is truly in danger and they need to act fast. It could also be the episode with CX-1. He does warn (the Batch I assume) that they're being hunted.

"Identity Crisis"- my theory for this episode only makes sense if Tech is the one under the mysterious imperial's mask. This episode could very easily apply to Cross and Ventress as well. However, if it's Tech that's under the mask, then it this title makes perfect sense. He's fighting the imperial programming while the others try to bring him back. But Tech's survival is controversial so I can't confidently say that this will happen

"Point of No Return"- this feels like an ultimatum type of episode. The Batch know that what they're going to do will lead to their demise or survival, including Omega's. On the other hand, this could be the episode where Pabu gets invaded. If that happens, then it tells the Batch that there's no turning back for them; they have to save Omega and stop Hemlock or else they will lose more of what they care about. The Empire took enough from them; now, the clones prepare their final stand.

"Juggernaut"- I think this is episode where we get the turbo tank chase. We know that Cross, Hunter, and Wrecker are together again along with Phee. Alternatively, someone suggested that Wrecker dies in a giant explosion based on the name "juggernaut," but I'd rather not think about that.

"Into the Breach"- according to Google, this phrase means that a person steps up to do a task when someone is unable to do it or there's no one else available. This raises questions: who's stepping up? What task is being conducted? I hate to be that guy, but it's possible we might see Echo or someone die. Think about it: one of the Batchers or an ally gets badly hurt trying to do something and someone else steps up. The episode is a big fanfare of things that go boom and epic music as the task is completed but at a grave cost.

"Flash Strike"- this feels very action heavy. There are many clips near the end of the trailer showing the Batch hijacking ships and troopers fighting/being shot at. On google "flash strike" can refer to workers going on strike without notice. This episode is probably where we see the clone rebellion truly begin to act out against the Empire and Tantiss.

"The Cavalry has Arrived"- the grand finale of it all. It's poetic that the final chapter in the story about a group of special clones is titled after their very first line in their very first appearance in Clone Wars. Like the Batch arriving on Anaxes to help the Jedi and Rex, I think this episode will be the full culmination of the clones' stand against the Empire. We will see the Batch reunited and Omega will be saved... but at what cost? If this show parallels the OT (which I think it is), then we probably will get a happy ending. However, I'm leaning more towards it ending with just Crosshair and Omega left.

Anyways, these are just my theories and speculations. Feel free to share any theories about the episode titles down below. And one quick note about the poster: Hunter's helmet kinda mirrors Jesse's in the final episode of Clone Wars. It's probably symbolizing the end of an era for the clones as a whole. Spooky.

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #tbb echo #captain rex

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fallout4-reacts · 7 months ago

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Let's do something else while you wait for a new react (I am not often in my computer lately and making the reacts ask a set-up... yeah, I know.... anyway) Here's my thoughts on companions to do my reacts with them.

Cait : Cait is like a delicate flower. Awfully introverted--you say no? That she is really vocal? Let's me explain.

If nothing terrible had happened to her, she may have been a princess. But then she got hurt, and hurt, and hurt. Her own parents betrayed her. The sun does not shine; he burns.

As a sad tiny flower all alone, crashed and burning in the sun, she had two options: turn to ash or blaze back.

Something within her ignited, and she has since blazed the world.

Codsworth : This is a unique one. He was a well-programed Mister Handy. He remains still. But midway through the eternity of waiting for nothing, his code evolved. He is still Mister Handy, but he is conscious of this.

Unlike others of his type, he has become self-conscious and has begun to question himself, his life, and his own purpose.

Because what is his point if he can't wax the rust off your car?

So why is he still... on? Alive? Alive?! Is he alive? What determines life?

Fuck, poor robot, he weren't made for such philosophical notions...

Curie : Curie represents curiosity. What defines Curie? Curiosity. How far can a robot go to satisfy her curiosity? Considered from the perspective of an unborn being, which lacks the capacity to comprehend or fear mortality: A long way.

Then... on this route, continually moving forward, she upgrades herself and discovers.....what?????? Feelings? Overwhelming feeling? Something more mind-blowing than simply wanting to know everything!!!!

She then wishes to continue on this path, but it might be painful at times.

Another concept she can't stand...

Just how much further could she push herself?

Danse : Danse knows precisely where he is. He understands it so well that dying for this place is insignificant. Nothing at all. He is a part of something far bigger than himself.

But, Danse, you didn't follow that when you went to get Cutler back...

It was to... not waste... another soldier......

But it wasn't an order from the BoS?

He did what he had to do

But why insist on retrieving the lost patrol from the Commonwealth?

That was his...

It was not requested by the BoS; it was his initiative.

But, no, he works FOR the Brotherhoods! Period, or did he?

He didn't question it, at least. Not until someone stands in front of him and says, "Bad Danse, bad Danse. Do not assault ghouls or synths on sight; they are people."

Danse is a mess, although he doesn't want anyone to know it, not even himself.

He didn't dare to kill Nick or Hancock, and it was his decision, and he will never admit it. The truth is that he COULD. Why didn't he do it, though?

He didn't question it.

He didn't have a choice.

It was his only option to have you by his side, wasn't it?

Furthermore, he never once feels any sort of respect for a synth as events progress. Nick is just... hmm.... a strategically important part of the Commonwealth and he don't want to jeopardize the position in the Commonwealth by... and the Mayor of an important... hm.... well... See! A Deathclaw!!! Shooooot!!!

Deacon : This one... it feels close to home. Knowing everything bad in his soul and being fully aware of it. And knowing that everyone, to some degree, has it.

So what is important?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Nothing is important, and existence is USELESS.

But it's still not lacking in anything.

Then, establishing some strong beliefs regarding the right to life, which shall be considered.

If nothing matters, then no one is more important than another.

As nothing matters, he is free to pick what is truly important to him.

All life matter because nothing matters.

So, why didn't he become the most fervent defender of the very life he despised?

That is a purpose, just like any other—one that can allow him to live his life the way he wants it to be—interesting, thrilling, and fulfilling.

And he is quite skilled at it.

Hancock : Ah, this one. It could have been worse, and in some ways he is. He has clothed himself in the worst and displayed it in front of everyone.

Life's a joke. (You'll tell me it's Deacon's way? But no, it's truly Hancock's. Life is a joke! A extremely terrible, wacky joke.)

He was lavished with everything a man could want, and what did it do? It's made everything tasteless.

Consuming was not solely for the chems. For the day, the people, and everything.

To taste something, he had to take it anywhere and in any form, in many forms.

The flavour of life had faded away...

Up until the day he saw a really nasty guy being really mean with the neighbourhood synth.

Seems insignificant and far from the Of the Peoples and Save all the Ghouls man?

This was the first seed.

Why did anyone disregard the synth? He was a decent damn man, the only one who was always nice, never judging--okay, he was a gigantic judgement on legs, but he was never cruel about it, and he never rejected anyone who did not meet his standards--why be an ass for such a kind man?

Because Nick is as manly as him.

Okay, so these Upper Stand assholes are like this for synths, ghouls, the poor, and outsiders?

His own family?

His own brother???

Something in Hancock has broken because his blood and his own were so awful. And there was an intense feeling of dislike.

An intense feeling nonetheless.

The seed grows.

No amount of chem can destroy it now.

Nothing can hide it anymore.

He has no family.

He has no brother.

The seed had transformed into a sturdy tree with a protective layer of bark on this very, awful day of Diamond City history.

And, even though it was still a young and, in some ways, vulnerable tree when he left the place, it has only grown stronger.

And now it's a fucking bloody large tree with so many ramifications to offer shelter to any outcast in need, no matter what kind of outcast--such as a tree harbouring insects, birds, squirrels, raccoons, and so on...

A fucking massive tree that no storm can shake from the deep roots of his convictions.

MacCready : This one... yeah, this one.

A father.

An anxious parent who knows that displaying any emotion will kill him and his son. Even as a young boy, he learned that adults in his community were treated with distrust. And he's learned that as an adult, everyone is so selfish.

Then there is nothing more important than Duncan. The only unwavering love left in his life. He can only rely on this one person.

Nothing is worthwhile to demonstrate, express, or feel.

He only has one goal.

And splitting up is a complete and utter waste of time.

Because the universe revolves solely around Duncan.

And he had no time to waste explaining it to anyone.

"Think anything you want; I don't care. Give me my caps."

Did I really need to explain?

But why did he quit the Gunners? Knowing that it will be more worse for him afterwards? Knowing how risky it would be?

Because, even if he can do anything for Duncan, he couldn't bear the thought of destroying someone else's family like his own...

Even if it's not in Ghoul's hands or due to illness, he knows that killing innocent people would break families and cause other children to suffer, and he can't stand it.

He could hear Duncan's crying in the midst of every child's cries.

Yes, but... Vault 88.

It is something else.

It's not that he doesn't want this kid to be saved, and it has crushed his heart deep down.

But losing you is worse... because... maybe... something other than Duncan now matters to him... and he doesn't want to lose it.

Maxson : This is one of my favorites. Not because I prefer this one over any others. Many people know that Nick is my most beloved of all.

But Maxson is a case.

Maxson is frequently portrayed as a narrow-minded zealot who is little more than a forceful fanatic.

In the fan community, an author can dealt with in a different light.

But not enough.

Maxson is a complicated person, yet he is incredibly subtle.

First and foremost, we must remember that his name is the cornerstone of THE Brotherhood of Steel.

From the beginning of his life, he felt this burden on his shoulders with each stride.

A very profound brainwashing began, most likely before he was even conscious of who he was. Every first impression was undoubtedly tinted with the realization that he is a Maxson. He can't be anything less than a Maxson.

The indoctrination is quite deep, beyond anything you could conceive. A product of the Bos' pure, straight, tight, and negative mindset.

A Maxson, a humankind that cannot make mistakes and must be grandiose.

Since his early youth.

And even if...

Even if I can name what I want to express several times, I have a fantastic illustration of what I mean when I say he is more complex.

The Blind Betrayal.

Damn you for thinking he can't just take down Danse and Sole.

He can.

He absolutely can.

But he does not WANT. And he is relieved that Sole is arguing and offers him an exit door.

He plays the game throughout the entire length. Because he is Maxson! He can't be less.

He cannot have friendship jeopardize the BoS's entire belief system!

He cannot be weak!

He is the MAXSON!!

"Now that it is state, excuse me, I need to go into a dark place, roll upon myself, and cry my heart out. After that, I have a meeting where I will have to show no mercy and use a fine strategy. Have fun and comfort each other; I'm all alone on my podium and will always be this way... because now I don't even have the man who was the closest definition of a friend I could have...."

Nick : Oh my god. The Tin Man.

I'll explain my own feelings toward this man.

In my entire life, I've only encountered one person who has been truly good and selfless: my grandfather.

And Nick's voice! And, due to the game's structure, his running style...

Nick is a personification of my grandfather, as if he came back from the grave to remember me. To remind me of the ideals my grandfather had taught me.

And, as in the past, I feel like that little girl who wants to make her grandfather proud.

Also, my granddad was incredibly small for a man. And extremely very good. People openly insulted him, denigrated him, and treated him in the same way that they do to Nick.

Even while some people acknowledged all of his nice qualities and how amazing it was that he lived, there were always other people who took advantage of his kindness and wiped their feet on him.

My grandfather took it without offence.

"Poor ones, let them be, it's not their fault."

- Is it not their fault that they are bad?

"You have to understand them..."

- But they don't need to understand you?!

"It doesn't matter..."

He wakes up each day thinking about how to improve the world for everyone. And he goes to bed every night worried that he hasn't accomplished everything he could.

This kind of man... did exist... and I hope it still does. Because if someone conceived of creating Nick, it was because he had met someone comparable to my grandfather... didn't he?

And, to be honest, if I ever met this type of man, I would care for and cherish him in ways that cannot be imagined.

Because now I understand how empty the world feels when they left...

Preston : Another case.

Preston. This is a shame.

It's a shame he was designed to be the radiant... because this man deserves far more respect.

The very man who was willing to die because he believes he failed.

But it's not even his own failure.

But he carries it on his shoulder, with the world.

He finally found you.

And hope returns and...

Be serious for a second. The Minutemen Reborn is not you. It's not the fact that you're the General.

The Minutemen, the entire idea, faith, and philosophy are his and his alone.

Without him, there will be no Minutemen, no hope for a better world.

Even if he claims to be broken and defeated and unable to accomplish anything else, he has lifted the sun on the earth with nothing but his dream and benevolence.

What else could I possibly say?

Porter : Ah, man. He needs a hug. In a more twisted fashion than Preston, he is of the same type.

Just more of the lazy type.

Becoming a farmer or whatever is just not in is blood.

Simply having a negative example is enough to make him a bad man.

I believe Bethesda has slipped it here.

Porter may have been a great addition to the Commonwealth.

I think there should have been another alternative.

Porter was the alternative for living as a raider. But if you eventually decide otherwise, it would have been far better to persuade Porter to follow you.

Could he have lived with the knowledge that he had to kill, or at least allow others to kill, everyone on his responsibilities?

I don't think so.

He would have collapsed at some point.

What a waste.

He just needed more hugs...

(Have you ever heard his comment: A gift? For me?-- the way he sounds, well, my heart has melted as for Hancock.)

Strong : Aaaaah, Strong. A kind of developed super mutant... kind of...

He has his own colour, I must say.

Not my favorite companion as Marcus was, but still, his own color is worth it.

I adore how he dislikes everything you can accomplish that he believes is not worthwhile.

It's quite vibrant.

And the dread in his voice as he realizes what Virgil does.

Strong could have been an Orc. He is noble, proud, and appreciates something about his culture.

Even if he is difficult to deal with, he is well worth it.

Because it's amusing to have a character idolize you, but getting Strong's regard feels meaningful.

It's so easy to not earn it.

X6-88 : Give the man a break!

Poor X6.

No, not a hug. You will freeze his brain and cause his own doom!

NOOOOO!!!! DO NOT KISS HIM!!!!!

Poor, poor little thing...

Give him a break.

With enough time, you will find your way.

But give.this.poor.man.a.break!!!

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inscrutable-shadow · 3 months ago

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Whumptober 2024 Day 7 - in the hollow of my bones

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

More from the military AU. A session with Miguel goes wrong, and Thanatos rekindles something he long thought was lost. Miguel and Solomon belong to @sunshiline-writes, Luis and Lanzo (referenced) to @crash-bump-bring-the-whump, and Rex belongs to @cyberwhumper!

contains: art therapy, ptsd, flashback, magical exhaustion, and thanatos being pathetic

also available on ao3!

Thanatos could tell it was going to be a silent session as soon as Miguel walked in the door. A night spent in the general's office rarely boded well, and today appeared to be no different. "How about we go ears off for today," Than suggested, in lieu of a greeting, and Miguel nodded. He'd been meaning to try a new angle with Miguel, something to help express emotions that were difficult. Art therapy showed promising results with some clients, and for someone who struggled with specific words and giving himself permission to express emotions like Miguel, Thanatos hoped it could make a difference. He retrieved a sheaf of cardstock and a set of colored pencils from a drawer and began to inscribe his next statement onto the whiteboard they used for silent days.

Just try to translate what's going on inside to the page. Any colors or shapes you like. I'm not looking for anything specific or grading you on what you depict. This is your time. If you want to discuss them afterward, that's also up to you, I'll be here, but you may just leave if you'd like.

He slid the whiteboard over for Miguel to read and ducked under the desk for a moment to pull a stack of files out of his briefcase. It would be less uncomfortable for Miguel to be unobserved during the process, he reasoned. Thanatos had been told that the full force of his attention could be... unsettling. If he'd been paying attention, however, he might have seen the punch coming.

During a session, Thanatos habitually evaluated micro-expressions and other nonverbal cues to extrapolate a client's internal state and make informed decisions on what sorts of activities or redirections might produce desirable results. It was part of the challenge, the game of therapy for him, seeing the person in the chair as the opponent at the chessboard. Miguel's face was rarely quiet, even if it often lied, and watching it would likely have given Thanatos a hint toward the storm of rage and pain brewing behind those dark eyes. As it was, he was caught completely off guard by the chromed fist that crumpled his glasses, then his nose, and then reared back again to go for more.

It took a moment for his mind to even register the pain, so divorced was it from its usual context. By that point, his nose was a fountain of blood. "Miguel, why—" was all he got out before the next blow, which knocked him from his desk chair to the floor. Instinct took over. He curled himself into a ball with his arms over his head, the same way he had dozens of times before in dozens of enemy camps. The difference now was that he didn't have plasma at his fingertips as a recourse for once the beating stopped. He reached for it, but as usual, nothing came. If anything the smell of blood and the submissive posture had encouraged the chrome programming to shut off any part of Miguel's brain that considered it a bad idea to beat his therapist to death, and the punches only increased in force and frequency with each passing second. His cries fell on deaf ears. He noted the irony.

The taste of iron in Thanatos's mouth only intensified. He could feel his bones crunching and cracking, shards slicing through his soft tissues. Even with his arms over his head, lights exploded in his vision and he struggled to retain consciousness, slurring Miguel's name between yelps and cries he knew were fruitless. Much more of this and he was risking permanent brain damage and death. He had to do something, this wasn't a training exercise where Luis or Lanzo would stop just short of killing him, shake their heads and tell him to do better next time. In the field, there were no rescues and no one to take pity on him. Thanatos would have to make his own mercy, like he always had.

He reached for his magic once again, stretched his awareness into the hungry void that had been left there since he'd been discharged from the war mage corps. Still empty. Not a single ember. A decade of training and nothing to show for it but the scars on his hands and his psyche. He was more powerless now than he ever had been. He didn't even need all of it! Thanatos had never sought to become a god of fire and lightning and plasma and cold like the other mages, all he'd ever wanted was the strength to protect himself, and if he was lucky, those he loved. He cared nothing for the holy sword of retribution. All he needed was a shield.

Shield magic had always been his best skill. Even when his plasma temperatures were low and his casts were inconsistent, his shields were always durable and able to be held for hours. He used them during his assignments, whatever he couldn't get done with his mind and his tongue could be solved by a well-placed barrier. Back then, he'd taken it as proof that he did have what it took to be a war mage, he just needed to alter his approach, figure out how to apply those skills to other tasks. He'd never mastered it. It had nearly broken him when he'd reached for his shields in the infirmary cot after that doomed mission and gotten no feedback. The only thing he'd ever been good at, stolen from him by his own weakness, unable to be called upon even in his direst need. He'd be lying if he said that surprised him.

Darkness encroached on the edges of his vision. Reality blurred. Was he on the floor of his office, in the training room, or in a holding cell? The familiar buzzing of his magic underneath his skin, in his blood , superimposed over the hollowness he knew was truly there, letting him believe for just a moment at a time that there was something for him to reach for. Despite himself, he pushed again, grasping for diamond, not flame, and to his surprise, his plea was answered. A dome of force surrounded him as Miguel drew back for another go, and stopped the next punch's descent in its tracks.

Thanatos panted heavily. He was far from safe, channelling the magic burned in a way it never had before and he had no way of knowing how long he could withstand it, or if and when his newly reclaimed power would desert him just as quickly as it had returned. Not to mention that Miguel was already trying to find a way into his fragile respite. He was clever, it wouldn't take him long. If the shock of having his magic work had brought Thanatos out of a flashback, the pounding on his shield had him on the verge of a panic attack. He needed... he needed help. Someone. Anyone.

Solomon.

Shaking hands reached for his phone, miraculously still in the pocket of his slacks. His communicator was on the desk, unreachable, but he'd been in contact with Sol while on leave, sending pictures of artisanal tea leaves for a second opinion. He'd never thought that ridiculous hobby of his would be of any use. But it did mean that of the three telephone numbers he had saved in his contacts (the other two being Rea's and his mother's) Sol's was one of them. He painstakingly typed out the simplest message he could through the blood on his fingers and the trembling of his hands as they struggled to maintain the cast: help . No punctuation or additional context, Sol would understand. He had to. Thanatos would never send a text that simple unless he was in genuine distress.

Chrome claws picked at the edge of his shield and he scrunched himself as far into the back of it as he could. It wasn't far. He had inches of extra room inside. Folding himself into a small space was something he was very good at by now, though. Being a trembling ball pressed into a corner of a dome, face soaked with blood and tears, didn't go very far toward making himself not look like prey, and he knew it. He was minutes from being eaten alive and there was nothing he could do about it. There was always a peculiar cold feeling that flooded him when he stared death in the face. Somehow it was… comforting. To know he was still the man he had been all those years ago.

By the time heavy footsteps sounded in the hallway outside, Thanatos had become quite confused. Didn't know where he was. The sounds… more chrome. Two of them? This one bigger, he couldn't stand up to both of them— What could he do? Couldn't run, couldn't hide. Needed help. No help coming. No rescues.

He couldn't even uncover his eyes to see what was going on between the two of them. All he had the strength for was to lie there with his arms over his head and his blood burning, aching, screaming to keep the shield going. He didn't know if the blood still streaming from his nose was truly rotten or if that was memory, if the subtle buzzing was the barrier flickering or his blood in his own ears or the chrome. No words from outside, just the whirring of servos and the clicking of joints and the growls and whines of two dogs communicating with each other. Two… Rex? And Miguel? He shuddered, and the radius of his shield shrunk by an inch.

A soft tap on his shield, the first in a while, made him flinch harder than any of the punches. "Than? It's me, it's okay. I need to get you out of here." He wanted to get out of here, he wanted to go home. Didn't want to hurt anymore, his blood was on fire— "To do that, you need to let the shield down, Thanatos. Let me help you."

Let it down? But… he'd gotten it to work for the first time in half a decade, didn't want to lose it, didn't want to go back to being a failed mage. Thanatos had been shaking from head to foot, straining his hardest to keep the cast going, and now he needed to drop it? Give up, again? How could he be sure he was safe? He was so tired. It hurt so much. The burning and the bleeding and the dying.

"Please, Than. Let me in, I want to help."

The shield flickered. Once, twice. Then dropped.

"S-Solomon?"

taglist: @athenswrites

#whumptober2024 #no. 7 #only for emergencies #magic with a cost #fic #oc #ptsd whump #magical exhaustion #original fiction #my writing #writeblr #coy writes #whumpblr #coy whumps #thanatos iuventus #l'esprit de corps au #group military au

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halobirthdays · 1 year ago

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Happy birthday to Spartan Bonita Stone!

Today is her -511th birthday!

Stone was born on Komoya and enlisted in the UNSC, where she served on a stealth vessel. This experience lead to her placement on Fireteam Shadow after she joined the SPARTAN-IV program.

In 2560, Stone was serving aboard the Infinity when it was attacked by the Banished. She was ordered to separate from her team and evacuate with Spartan Nina Koven while the other members of Shadow stayed behind. After crash-landing on Zeta Halo, she and the remaining survivors met up with Koven, who was leading her own group of survivors. Witrhout a real fighting force or orders, the group remained hidden and only fought if necessary as they made their way through the ring. Eventually, they discovered the UNSC outpost at the Mortal Reverie. The Reverie had crash-landed on the ring but still had sufficient supplies to act as a much-needed stronghold for the scattered UNSC forces. Their leader, Spartan Hudson Griffin, left with a small team in an attempt to assassinate Escharum. He failed, and Escharum staged a counter-attack on the Reverie. Despite being prepared for the attack, the UNSC forces were overwhelmed and were forced to flee. Stone and the survivors went into hiding and resorted to guerilla warfare.

Eventually, she returned to the Reverie to find that the Banished had been excavating. They used a human prisoner to access an artifact which gave them the location of the ring's defensive systems. Realizing this would eliminate any chances of a UNSC survival, Stone attacked. She engaged with several Banished leaders, including Jega 'Rdomnai, Gorian, and Hectarius. Though she was at a significant disadvantage, she was still able to get close enough to steal the data on the ring's defenses and have her personal AI, Ouco, copy and then corrupt the Banished's version of the data. Eventually, she was overrun and was abushed by 'Rdomnai, who impaled her on his energy sword. The Banished took the data node back, unaware that it had been corrupted.

Her body was later discovered by Koven, who retrieved the invaluable data from Stone's armor, but did not have the means to move her. A month later, Stone aided the UNSC one last time when Master Chief discovered her body and was able to add her energy shielding module to his own armor.

#have a bonita christmas #bonita stone #spartan iv

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ohno-the-sun · 1 year ago

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Short little fic I wrote about Ruin Eclipse before the dlc came out

So its super inaccurate but it was a fun exercise

The world was alight.

Sun had always screamed and yelled and hoped for the lights to stay on, for everything to stay the same, but fate didn’t have that planned for him.

He stood– right in front of that impossible barrier. It was just a door and Sun knew that. But everytime he went up to it– tried to push against it– a shock ran through his system.

Like a stabbing pain behind his eyes it ran through his core like a brand. He was out of options. Still now he banged against the door– hoping that somehow some way he would be able to open it. Useless dents littered the doorframe. He knew they did nothing– the door was unlocked, free to be opened or closed by anybody who wasn’t him. Even if the door collapsed– nothing Sun could do would get him across the barrier.

He could get him to do it.

Sun looked around the room. Moon had done so much– to him, to the kids– at this point Sun couldn’t stand to trust him. But he was his only option.

Sun hoped with every fiber of his being that Moon at least had enough self-preservation to get them out of this mess.

There– a dark corner. Fire had not yet set in under one of play castles that surrounded the rapidly melting ballpit.

If he could just get over there…

The jungle gym was falling apart, plastic parts unable to stand the blistering heat. Thick ropes of nylon stuck together as flames licked their sides. The entire structure had fallen in the center of the daycare– Sun was going to have to find a way around it.

There.

He quickly ducked into a slide that had fallen down in the crash. It had fallen in such a way that its entrance was now positioned near the back of the daycare– right where he wanted to go.

Crawling though he could hear the soft crumbling of the room outside. A loud creak heard far above made him shutter. He paused.

Only for a moment though. He quickly crawled the rest of the way through, ending up nicely positioned near the entrance of the fake castle.

It too was nearly collapsed from the intense heat, the roof slowly curving in under its own weight.

Sun could only hope it stayed in place long enough.

He quickly slid in, the creaking from above only getting louder.

Looking around he could already tell it wasn’t going to be dark enough– the intensity of the roaring fire outside lit the initial segments of the tunnel like castle too brightly.

Sun crawled farther in. The creaking only seemed to get louder and louder.

Finally– Sun could feel it. This was dark enough. He could feel the shifting of gears behind his face, a soft weight being placed on top of his head.

He thought he could hear a snapping from far above. The creaking from before– had he– had I–

Did they not notice?

They were slammed down. Something white and searing flashed across their systems.

And then—

Nothing.

~~~~~

Initializing startup…

Checking light levels…

Light levels set = 10%

Initializing “Night” Protocol…

…

Error “Night” not found

Backup Program Start

Initializing “Day” Protocol…

…

Error “Day” not found

…

Back up processor startup

…

Memory files retrieved 100%

…

Backup protocol initializing “temp_file_1”

Rebooting…

…

Startup Complete

…

They slowly opened their eyes.

Trapped.

They needed to get out,

A large metal frame sat on top of them– large white shapes attached to their edge.

What are those–?

The clouds–

A spasm ran through their body.

Something was wrong.

What’s going on–?

What happened–?

Images flashed across their processors. Bright flames lit the daycare, the plastic and soft padding that made up a majority of it not standing a chance. He– I ran.

Stupid stupid.

Shutupshutup.

Their already fragile processors heated up, they could hear creaking and shifting by their faceplate. A large piece of debris sat on top of their head, lodging them in a crack on the floor. They could hear the small pieces tumble around them as their head attempted to spin.

Trapped I was trapped.

You were stupid stupid. Too bright– I could do nothing.

Only you can leave!

Only you can be out–

Despite being trapped under rumble their body shifted and writhed. They felt trapped– claustrophobic– like their body wasn’t big enough.

We need to get out.

You need to get out it's too dark!

It was then when they noticed just how dark the daycare was. Every incandescent light bulb put in place to protect the kids burst in the heat. It was so dark too dark.

They roughly shoved the rubble on them off. The large piece had their head trapped slowly rolled off. The rest was light burnt foam and plastic, which slowly came off their body. The plastic had melted slightly into their clothing. In a rush they ripped it off– taking a chunk of the pant fabric with it.

Their endoskeleton underneath laid bare, not even a plastic covering protecting it.

Messy messy messy, so so messy–

They shut off their optics. Both knew that their processors would overheat seeing what had become of the daycare.

They needed to think.

What are we going to do we’re trapped– we’re stuck– we’re never getting out–

Shut up shut up shut up you stupid stupid– useless pathetic worthless–

That was going to be difficult.

Their frame shook, something loose rattling in their chest.

Hot hot hot.

Their processors were way too hot.

Heat on a bot is like meat left to rot.

Calm down.

Clam down.

Slowly both their processes slowed.

One step at a time.

Moon?

Sun.

I you’re here?

Obviously.

Yes obviously– I mean here, I can hear you

And I hear you– you’re too close–

You’re too close. I can feel you.

Your emotions are loud.

Yours are… scary.

…

It’s crawling along their synthetic skin. A sort of infection pulsating just underneath. It was white and hot. Everything was tenuous, like looking over an edge and one small push would send them hurling down.

What is this?

…It’s mine.

What does that mean?

…

… fine, be that way.

Slowly they activated their optics. Setting the resolution low so they weren’t flooded with inputs they looked around.

Even with the low resolution they could tell the place was a mess, the playplace had sunken into the floor, the ballpit was a pool of discolored gunk, the cloud fixtures on the ceiling had fallen and crushed whatever remained.

It was all too much.

“I-I-I–”

Why can’t I speak?

Cause you’re shit at it.

Will you shut up!

“G-G-G–”

Our voice box is broken.

Well now you say that!

#writing #sundrop #moondrop #ruin dlc #fnaf daycare attendant #can't do anything with this now #maybe someone will enjoy it

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generic-sonic-fan · 1 year ago

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Old Time's Sake

Summary: The robot once known as "Metal Sonic" attempts to ask Amy Rose for a favor.

TW: suicidal thoughts

---

It crashed into a pot of petunias on the porch, ceramic shattering against the wooden panels of the house. Shredded pink blossoms settled against purple, yellow, and blue plating, only to be shaken off by the onslaught of shudders that battered its frame.

Neo pulled itself to the door just as the knob twisted from the other side. Amy Rose stared down.

“Metal? Oh my goodness, you look- what happened?”

It grasped the frame of the door and pulled itself upright.

“No, it’s okay, stay right there. Or actually, I’ll bring you in!”

Amy Rose grabbed its arms and pulled it through the door. It simulated her gripping hard enough to damage its plating. A reprimand shot down its spinal strut response. She did not lose or even tighten her grip, however, as she led it to her couch.

She sat it down. “Stay here. You’re going to be okay. I’ll get Tails on the phone and he’ll make you right as rain!”

The name switched its self-preservation programming from hostile to cooperative. Calling Miles “Tails” Prower would result in Sonic’s arrival, so it must not allow Amy Rose to reach her cell phone, so it must attack her, and she would summon her hammer and then-

It lept off the couch and embedded its claws into her shoulders. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open to match the exact ratios of panic it had recorded from her on Little Planet. In an instant, her hammer was in her hand.

The force dented its torso plating. It crashed into a wall. It waited for more blows, simulated the damage from other instances in which she’d demolished Badniks, anticipated, anticipated. It looked at her to find her stationary despite her vitals being elevated beyond even what might be registered in ordinary combat.

It pulled itself out of the wall and approached.

“What is going on with you?”

It scratched at her, but only pierced air as she stepped away.

“Would you stop that? I can’t help you if you’re going to attack me!”

Neo recalled her being more intelligent than this. It pointed to her hammer, then pointed to its own frame.

Her panic unfroze and dripped down to a facial expression that would be unrecognizable if it were not for the events of the past two weeks. It was an expression of Sonic towards hurt Flickies. Of a young “Rosie” uncovering a broken robot on a snowy day.

Her hammer disappeared. “You want me to hurt you?”

Neo gave an affirmative ping before the shudder of a reprimand could stop it.

“No. I’m not going to.”

It lunged forward, piercing the skin of her arm, the tips of its claws coming away with blood.

“I’m not going to hurt you!” Amy Rose shouted. “Don’t do that again or I’ll call Sonic!”

Neo froze.

“Not that I don’t think I can smash you to pieces myself, but that I don’t want to. Tails tells me that you’re not working for Eggman anymore.”

That was the point. Without Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s interference, Neo was without purpose. Neo should be destroyed. Neo should be destroyed. Neo should be-

“Did you ever want to work for him in the first place?”

Neo looked at her.

“Did I. . . make a mistake, that one time in the snow?”

It lowered its gaze.

“Because you just seemed so sad, sitting abandoned there. Like you’d given up.”

It could not feel ‘sadness’. It could hardly recall the memory file; data input from that time had been minimized to best preserve power. It had been out of standby mode for only a minute, knocked back into active mode when she had saved it from the path of the falling tree.

And it could not give up. Its prime core directive demanded as much. The reminder triggered reprimands, and a shudder up its neck joint rattled it out of the memory.

“Here, can you write?” Amy Rose retrieved a pencil and pad of paper from a table at the end of the couch. “Let’s sit down so that you can tell me what’s going on instead of barging in and being rude.”

It shook its head.

“Then I’ll go get my phone so you can type.”

She walked backwards, keeping her eyes fixed on its frame until she slipped behind a door. She returned with her cellular device, cased in pink with charms dangling from the corner. She unlocked the screen and extended the device in its direction.

“You’re either telling me what’s going on or you’re leaving.” She said.

Neo took the phone and typed, “this unit cannot give up.”

“Seems like that’s what you’re doing right now, huh?” She smiled with only half of her mouth. “Back then, I just couldn’t leave you there to die. Or deactivate, I guess. I thought at the time that you might miss Eggman. He gave you more headpats back then.”

“This unit did not wish to be left there.” To fade into nothing. It could not be nothing.

“But did you want to go back to Eggman?”

“No other beneficial course of action.”

“I could have brought you to Tails.”

“The result would have been deactivation.”

“He could have reprogrammed you, like he did just now.”

“Exposure to Tails increases likelihood of exposure to Sonic by 94%. Deactivation would have followed.”

“That’s not true.”

“Negative. This unit-”

She did not wait for it to finish typing. “That’s not true. Sonic isn’t just some bloodthirsty monster out to get you. He just wants to protect people. Every time he beat you up it’s because you did something to deserve it.”

“Define: ‘something to deserve it’.”

“You don’t know what you did wrong? I thought you wanted to be good now.”

“Define: ‘good’.” Neo stepped forward. “Define: ‘good’.”

“Good! As in, not hurting people!” Amy Rose pointed to the scratches on her arm. “Or kidnapping them!”

“67% of this unit’s missions did not involve hurting or kidnapping sentient organics.”

“Or animals! Not hurting or killing plants and animals either. Really, it’s not that hard and you missed the bar. That’s why Sonic fought you so often.”

“24% of all encounters with Sonic the Hedgehog did not involve other organic beings.”

“Because he knew that you were going out to hurt people, or to help Eggman get things to hurt people with.”

“Why did you return this unit to Dr. Ivo Robotnik?”

“I-” Amy Rose held her breath for two seconds. She directed her gaze to Neo’s foot plating. “Because I thought it was where you’d be happiest.”

“Incomprehensible. Elaborate.”

“Did you like it, when you kidnapped me?”

Neo was prepared to repeat its prior statement before its optics swiveled to the same angle as Amy Rose’s. It stared down at its body, the remains of lines and hues of purple, shaped in a way that it did indeed ‘like’. And it compared the sensation to that of returning to Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s lair with the then-little girl in hand.

It remembered depositing her in the cell, before turning to meet its creator. It remembered a soft hand on its forehead plating. It remembered his words.

“Excellent work, my finest creation!”

Even the review of this piece of data in its memory banks brought an echo of euphoria in its processor. That it was once finest. That it once completed excellent work.

“Yes.” Neo answered. “This unit liked when Dr. Ivo Robotnik praised it.”

“But did you like seeing me afraid? Did that make you laugh or make you happy?” Amy Rose asked.

“That data was irrelevant.”

“And did you like hurting animals?”

“That data was irrelevant.”

“And do you like hurting Sonic, or do you just want to be praised for it?”

Neo generated fifteen different responses, but only five made grammatical sense and of those, three were non-sequiturs and the other two were objectively false.

“That’s what I thought.” Amy Rose said.

“This unit must destroy Sonic.” It snapped. “If it cannot destroy Sonic, then it must cease existing.”

“You don’t have to do either. You really don’t. I know you will never believe me. . . but you don’t.” Amy Rose stepped forward. She then sighed, before gesturing further into her house. “Follow me.”

Neo followed her past her main living area and into a room covered in decorative scraps affixed to the walls with a bed against the far wall. She opened the door to the closet and retrieved a roll of red ribbon. She retrieved scissors and snipped a scrap off the end. She then manipulated the scrap into a bow knot, before turning to face Neo.

“Here. This is the ribbon I gave you that day. I’m giving it back to you.”

This was not the ribbon that Amy Rose gave it the day she returned it to Dr. Ivo Robotnik. Dr. Ivo Robotnik had seized the fabric and thrown it into the incinerator before Neo had shut down for repair. This new ribbon was, however, of the exact same color and material composition ratio as the previous, suggesting that this roll of ribbon was the common origin of the two.

“This time, though, you get to choose what to do with yourself. You get to go wherever you’re happiest.”

“Even if this unit is happiest when determining how to destroy Sonic?”

“If that’s where you are happiest, then I’ll beat the crap out of you with this.” She summoned her hammer again. “Because I am happiest when I’m making sure my friends aren’t getting hurt.”

“And if it is unknown where this unit is happiest?”

“Then keep going until you figure it out.” Amy Rose deposited the ribbon into its hand.

She clasped her palm against its fingers. It loosened its joints, allowing her to curl its fingers around the fabric. She then let go.

“You should go.” She pointed to the door. “You don’t want to be here, and I don’t want you here.”

Neo cocked its head.

“Because I’m still really mad at you.” She gripped her hammer tighter. “But that’s something we can talk about when you figure out if you want to be better or not.”

Her statement was illogical. If she was mad at it, then she would not be giving it a gift. It could not understand. But it could understand her command, so it left her bedroom, walked through her living area, and passed through the exterior door of her house.

The door shut, and it heard two locking mechanisms engage behind it.

Neo stood in the darkness looking at the bow in its hand.

#this is a snippet from my longfic #but I think it also works wonderfully as a standalone work #heavy reference to that sonic mania christmas short #metal sonic #amy rose #sth #complex inquiries #tw sui ideation #suicidality cw

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