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etherealsworldvision · 9 months ago

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Singles Love Reading

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about “Care for Gaza” a non-profit charity aid on Twitter (now known as X) who are helping families in need. If you have the funds here are their PayPal and GoFundMe.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Note : I’m going to give you a heads up…this ended up being a LOVE reading and not a SINGLES reading lol. I guess we are not feeling the romance tonight lol. Okay look — I DID ask for romance stuff and this is what I got so I hope you enjoy it still.

[ general message: saw 222 as I was making the layout so this number might be significant. I believe the numerology meaning is: balance, harmony, spiritual alignment. You can condense it to 6 which would mean: domestic happiness, harmony, and stability. Rain. Autumn/Winter season. Airplanes. 123 ]

Pile 1

[ channeled message: “because I’m tired of being the only one playing by the rules, the world is unfair […] maybe it’s okay if it’s unfair in our favor for once” – Craig from Killing It. ‘Called it love but it was lust’, ‘It wasn’t love like I had hoped’. ‘maybe another time,’ ‘love is a complexity’. ‘If love can fade so can pain’. ‘Let your cup overflow with the love you deserve’.

Additional Confirmation: Seashells. Becoming a Sea Jelly. Prickly. Becoming a Porcupine. Sea and the Earth. Poetry. Disturbance. ]

Cards: 7 of wands (Reverse); Hierophant (Reverse); 9 of Wands. Snail; White Dress; Queen of Hearts; 8 of Hearts.

First thing’s first…this is a complex reading. This is going to be a different type of love reading. I’m sorry if you’re looking for a ‘who is coming in’ but if you still want to stay then please do. This reading does have romantic undertones but it will dives into love.

When I started this reading: I felt like I needed to protect myself — bolt all the doors, close all the windows, triple check the dozens of cameras around the house, and secure myself by hiding under the bed with a blanket wrapped around me.

There’s this profound grief/sadness/yearning/loneliness all meshed together in a box. I think this is your energy because I’m not getting another person. I could be wrong though. But the overall energy feels like the saying “the world/love hasn’t been too kind to you.”

I’m not going to sit here and tell you how to feel. Your feelings are 100% valid because for some reason people probably told you how to feel which made things worse. Honestly all I can give is a virtual hug.

Honestly maybe you’ll find love in this reading [not romantic wise! I meant like a little bit of softness for your day. Idk maybe I’m rambling]. It just feels like you need a blanket and a warm cup of your favorite drink. Some of you might like apple cider with extra cinnamon. Maybe a nice cup of coffee or (ginger) tea with some sugar. Or it’s not physical warmth you’re after but, just this once, inner warmth.

This emptiness you have isn’t something to be taking lightly, that is for sure. It should be held with recognition and upmost delicacy. You aren’t difficult to be loved.

Some of you know this while others may find difficult: you are deserving of love. Some of you are probably groaning and rolling your eyes. I wanted to say it again just in case. I’m also sending you lots of love and support.

You know what, why should I stop there? You’re deserving of people putting effort into you, of understanding, of consistency, of acceptance, of things to be taken at a slower pace. You deserve a love that is supposed to feel like your favorite drink or food. I think, most importantly, you deserve the recognition.

If you can find a healthy outlet please do. I know this reading is probably chaotic but I think it’s supposed to validate how you feel. There was another that came in but it was a bit of blur so I think that’s a sign to leave this reading as is. I’m rooting for you pile 1 and sending many hugs with a lot of love! 💕

Pile 2

[ Channeled Messages: ‘We never realize how frozen we are until someone melts our ice’ ; ‘We know what we are, but not what we may be’ ; ‘Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth’.

Additional Messages: 111, Broseph (Character from Stoked), Bravery, Strength, Talk, Valentines Day, Take a Break, Focusing on Materialism, Beach Vibes; H2O; Putting in the Work, Babes by Hockey Dad, Safe and Sound by Mr. Floyd Larry, Fire Placements, Sagittarius]

Cards: 9 of Wands; 8 of Cups (Rx); The Chariot. Transformation (Yumiko Kurahashi); The Soul (Emily Dickinson. Jack of Clubs; 8 of Clubs; 7 of Clubs

Pile 2’s, I have to tell you something: I restarted the reading. I reshuffled all the cards and took a ‘day off’ cause my tummy hurts :( and I wanted a break. I don’t know why I had to mention that but…hey, maybe you need a break for the ache?

On with the reading! For those of you who did or are taking a break from love, you’re taking the cool ~ approach. Now this isn’t a mind game approach. I genuinely feel like it’s because you ‘moved on’ from love. You’re just tired of the same ol’ people coming into your life and making you stressed.

I get the feeling you’re taking the ‘Broseph’ (Character from Stoked) approach. If you know him, you know that he’s very chill and laidback. He lets the waves come to him and living life in a relaxing fun way. This could be the way you’re viewing love now.

For some of you I heard “love/dating pool is shit, I’m going to do what I want’, which CONGRATS! You live your life, I’m very proud of you. You may also be taking a funny approach to your love life. I just get the vibe that: ‘love isn’t so serious anymore so might as well make the best of it by taking it lightly’.

Despite these approaches you’re also more selective and will put a boundary up. Again congrats to you! You’re at the point of, again, enjoying your life. I’m also getting a sense you’re putting more emphasis in your friendships. This is going to be a little deep.

For some of you, you may find the love you were missing within yourself through friendships/community. As in, the romantic love you thought would ‘fill’ the hole is not it. It was actually platonic/communal love that you craved. For other’s the love for yourself due to, soul searching’, basically rediscovering yourself.

Overall this is mainly due to people, mostly romantic, not being compatible with you. Like I have a feeling — during the summer time there will be in-depth soul searching. No, it’s not the ‘hippie’ type thing! Unless it could be we never know lol, it’s actually more of transformation of the old you. You’re entering a new part in your life.

Okay this is specific. I don’t know what Valentine’s Day did for you all but for some reason I think their gift to you made you realize ‘yeah…I’m breaking up with you’. Now this isn’t to scare anyone! This is like a 0.1% of you. I just feel like this could be how 0.1% of you will ‘entire’ this transformation.

To recap; despite the way you were treated and the people who were in your life. You’re now rediscovering yourself, your worth, questioning and finding the love you needed. You’re still open to love (in general) but more selective with the people. You’re now or will be letting love find you. Again you’re taking the Broseph approach lol. Have fun and good luck, I’m very proud of my pile 2’s :) 💕.

Pile 3

[ Channeled Messages: ‘If soulmates do exist they’re not found. They are made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they work on building a relationship’ ; Release your mind, don’t become the hurt that they hurt you’ ; ‘Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave. And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.’

Additional Messages: 222, 232, 234, Cat, Curiosity, Watch Your Mouth by The Backseat Lovers; Cold Hands; Burning Candle, Wedding Fantasies, Prayer Beads; Traditions; Selenite; Blue Calcite; Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Hearts; ‘Might Have Been The One Vibe’, The Good Place. ]

Cards: Page of Swords; Empress (Rx); Tower. Ace of Diamonds; 10 of Spades; Ace of Clubs. White Dress; Devotion.

Pile 3, I want to say I’m so sorry for what you went through. There’s a sense of heartache and devastation that recently happened. I heard you might have gotten a call or this sudden new broke your heart. A part of you may felt drawn to pile 1 so if you did then please check that out.

My cat also wants to say hello. She’s actually hanging out with your cards. A message popped up in my head: you are protected. I also want to add that your pile is a long read.

For a lot of you I feel that this is devastating. You may have spent all this time nourishing, putting the effort, and pouring your love into something that wasn’t ’worth it at the end’.

For some, not all, I don’t like to bring this up and be this type of reader…but the news may have been about cheating. As for the others the relationship could have ended because of a huge dealbreaker; like traveling or different values. There could have even been a conversation about money that led to an argument.

Either way, there was a sudden break(up) and now there is grief. I’m not getting so much as to how to help. I think this reading is more about acknowledging your grief and a reminder that you will find like minded people.

Another thing; you may feel anger as well. It’s like a simmered anger. It’s there but simmering…it’s hot yet it constantly murmurs. It feels as if it could be towards everyone. For some it may even be towards the world. But for all it feels as if this anger is directed to yourself.

Okay there’s a big select of you that might have been in a long term relationship. I’ve been tiptoeing around this but it feels like you were so close and then this happened, and now what the fuck, right? Basically the rug was ripped from under you. It just feels like sudden devastation.

I’m not going to feed into your anger and your grief. I am certainly not going to bypass this either by singing Kumbaya and lighting up an incense.

Instead, let’s acknowledge this. You may be feeling angry, scared, all of the grieving symptoms. That is okay! This is going to be hard to hear but grief doesn’t fade. It stays, it lingers, it’s there. The only thing we can do is feel it but do our best to not let grief consume us. We just have to take it day by day in little doses.

This may even be a reminder to pour in that love into yourself. No this isn’t some “self love heals all” type of thing. I believe [the right and healthy] community/friendships can help you out here, but let’s not forget to pour into ourselves too. This can be by creating a safe space for yourself. It could be doing things you always wanted to do. It can be gifting yourself something or simply journaling and crying it out with ice cream.

I also want to say the love you poured into that relationship is no waste. It’s proof that you are worthy of love, that you are capable of love. You are a reminder that the love you pour is out there. You have so much love to give and now it is time to give that love to yourself. It is also a reminder that this love can also be poured into you by your friends and community.

Another reminder, because it seems to be prominent, anger is a reminder of your boundaries. Anger reminds us what we fight for, what we need to feel protected. Anger is a boogieman to society, which can become it if not handled in a healthy way. However, Anger can be justice if you learn to dig deep at the root. This is all I have for you today. I wish you the best 💕

If you liked this reading please like, comment, reblog, and share. And if you want to further support me then tips are appreciated on: Ko-Fi ; PayPal ; Venmo ; Cashapp

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a picture #tarot #tarot pick a card #tarotblr #tarot readers of tumblr #astro community #astrology #singles reading #love reading #love pick a card #singles pick a card #tarotreading #tarotlove

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hellparkreimaginado · 6 months ago

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NEXT CHAPTER

Inglés:

Craig was resting by the window of his room, calmly observing the landscape that always greeted him when he woke up. He had no worries at that moment, nothing to do, all his household chores were completed, and he had no extra schoolwork. This gave Craig plenty of time to simply watch his peaceful town from the comfort of his room. The raven-haired boy looked at the mountains beside the sun for a while, creating an image as beautiful as it was tranquil. Craig loved taking photos of landscapes like this: simple, beautiful, calming. It was everything! Sometimes, when he looked at that natural mural that was the sunset in his town, Craig couldn't help but think of his partner: Thomas Lacey. That boy with blond hair and beige eyes was the most beautiful thing Craig's young eyes had ever seen. They had been a couple for a few years, and although Thomas suffered from a peculiar condition called Tourette's, which caused, among many things, tics, spasms, and sudden outbursts, this did not matter to Craig. He loved him with all his flaws and problems. And whenever Craig brought Thomas to his house, he didn't hesitate to show him some of the photos he had taken of landscapes like the one he was seeing right now.

The raven-haired boy started to get lost in his thoughts, imagining his entire life alongside that handsome boy, imagining them in those mountains: sitting with their children, having a meal while watching the sunset from the top of that mountain. Maybe his dreams often weren't realistic, but anyone would imagine a whole life with the person they love the most if they wanted to.

As Craig continued imagining that teenage novel in his mind, he didn't notice a series of notifications coming from his phone. He was too immersed to care; after all, couldn't they give him a moment to admire the views? After about two minutes, Craig turned and glanced nonchalantly at those notifications: they were messages from Thomas, and what they said was anything but normal.

• Craig, I have to thank you for all the time you've spent by my side. No one, no one, NO ONE will love me as much as you have. YOU, you, Craig, you are the most important person in my life, the most beautiful and sincere person in the world. And I have to apologize for being so weak, for being the most useless person in the world, for... failing you. Forgive me, but I simply don't belong in this world. I deserve to die; I've only caused sadness and pain to everyone who loves me, including you. I'm not made to live; God hates me; I don't deserve to live...

• Craig, I'm the worst person there is, but I truly cherished all the time by your side. Goodbye.

Craig ran with the speed worthy of the Olympics towards the exit of his room. His entire family saw him run and ignored them when they tried to ask what was happening. Craig didn't even stop to look at them, opened the door of his house, and ran through the neighborhood. His beloved's house wasn't far from his; he could easily get there in a minute at the speed he was going.

But all his hopes of saving Thomas ended when he heard the thunderous sound, like a distant lightning strike. Craig fell to the ground on his knees: he couldn't even scream or make a sound of agony after hearing that noise. He knew very well where that shot had come from, he knew very well that there was nothing he could do about it now. The lump in his throat grew so large that he could almost feel like he was being choked by it. Those were agonizing seconds, the purest silence covered the entire town. The town that no more than a minute ago enjoyed the beautiful melody of birds singing, of united and happy families chatting about their lives, now everything was in the most absolute silence. There wasn't a single soul on that street, just Craig kneeling: his eyes quickly filling with tears and spreading across his forehead.

The first to break the silence was his father: Thomas Tucker.

• Craig, is everything okay!? What the hell is happening!? - said his father.

T. Tucker shook his son nervously, wanting him to say something, not understanding why he ran out of the house, but knowing very well that the distant shot had something to do with all this. But Craig still didn't say anything, he couldn't even make a sigh, much less say what had just happened. Craig remained motionless for a while, the only thing he could think of was that if he had seen his partner's message a minute earlier, all this might have happened very differently. Maybe, just maybe, Craig could have saved him. But now, now the only thing left was to go to his beloved's house.

Without even the slightest bit of hope, Craig headed to the home of what was no less than 10 minutes ago his partner. And when he saw the house open, with his mother crying inconsolably on the floor and a couple of neighbors comforting her, he understood that, indeed, his worst fear had come true. His partner, his boyfriend, his life companion, was... gone. He couldn't even look at the lifeless body of the person he loved so much. He wasn't strong enough to do it; he couldn't bear to let all his sadness out. He cried in silence as he walked towards Thomas's mother: she was simply devastated. That poor woman had to live through her husband's divorce, had to see her son humiliated for his illness over and over again, had to watch her son isolate himself from the world, and finally, had to live through the death of the only thing she had left in life.

• No~ I don't understand~ I don't understand!~ I DON'T UNDERSTAND!~ I did everything for my son~ but I didn't realize what was happening to him...~ - said that completely broken mother, with eyes that looked like dried grapes from crying so much, her voice becoming weaker and weaker the more she cried, making it increasingly difficult to understand what she was saying.

• I- I don't understand either, ma'am~ I- I loved him,~ I always tried to make his day better but~ but...~ I don't understand what I did wrong...~ - Without saying much more, the raven-haired boy hugged the mother of his deceased boyfriend; only she could understand the pain he was feeling at that moment.

• Oh, Craig~ - Mrs. Lacey closed her eyes and, still sobbing, said to Craig: - D-do you know?~ Of the few moments I remember seeing Thomas happy in these last months was when you were by his side,~ he wouldn't stop talking to me about you and everything you did together. I thought he was getting better,~ but, honestly, I don't understand what happened.~ I don't know what I did wrong~ - The inconsolable lady wiped her tears a little and then handed Craig an envelope with a blue seal.

• Here,~ T-Thomas wanted you to read this~ -

Craig inspected the envelope with his tired eyes; it was very clean and well-kept, adorned with innocent hearts on the sides that seemed to have been drawn with extremely fine and bright markers, while in the center was a blue seal and below it a message that read: "For Craig, my one and only true love." Instantly, an avalanche of emotions overwhelmed Craig. He seemed to have a nervous breakdown, a combination of sadness for knowing this was surely the last thing Thomas did in life, and massive regret for not being there for him. All those feelings that seemed to have dissipated came back, stronger this time. He tried to calm down, tried to look away, only to feel the urge to flee from that place at once. He simply didn't want to be there any longer.

Craig ran out with the envelope in one hand and wiping away the tears running down his face and extending to his neck with the other. He didn't pay attention to his family, much less to his boyfriend's mother, who was asking him to please come back. Amid many tears, Craig just hid in his room and lay down to cry in silence. Everything had happened so quickly, he was so exhausted after this horrible day. He just lay in his bed, but it was impossible for him to sleep. Hours passed, he didn't let anyone in to console him; he felt so guilty and so powerless that he didn't even have the strength to see what was in the envelope given by Thomas. It was simply too much guilt, to the point where he couldn't look anywhere but at that letter he couldn't even open.

And as the hours passed, the only thing Craig heard was the sound of a gunshot in the distance... It was the only thing he could hear inside his head for hours.

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minaaaawaaaa · 6 months ago

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Reblog/comment with your favorite things in South Park *fanon media. Here's some of mine, pairing-related separated since some people don't really care for that, which is totally fine

Craig being partly Peruvian (derived from Pandemic I & II); either not Thomas's or Laura's biological son and half-siblings with Tricia. Also him just being tall asf; I think his dad is supposed to be taller than the average adult male character. Also Craig balding early in adulthood LOL

Plot twist villain Cartman in larger-scale-plot fics

Also, Cartman still earning God's wrath when he really, really deserves it

Kyle being the absolute fussiest little shit you've ever seen, at any age, for good reason usually. This is pretty canon, but still it's important to maintain

I think it's never directly put out there in canon besides Tweek's name being so terrible, but the Tweaks have definitely had Tweek and half the town on meth for years

Tweek being super artsy and those practices helping him relax; visual arts, music, sewing/crotchet, etc.

Clyde Donovan, the most sensitive crybaby football player of All Time

Quarterback Stan, regardless of high school/college/NFL level

It's so sad but longtime-alcoholic-since-10 Stan :( I still love him

Not sure when/where it became popular as it isn't too evident in canon, but the weird Craig and Kenny often being pothead frenemies thing? Idk when or why it started but it's pretty fun

Burnout yet extremely dependable Kenny working a ton in high school and often shooting for custody of his little sister Karen once of legal age. Also him being a scientific/mathematical genius but never applying it to prioritize Karen's comfort and safety instead. Also him being super clean given his family situation

Stan being the 5-in-1 body wash friend and Kyle being a major skin care girlie

When ppl draw them in the show's style and when they make them actually look like they're 9

Adaptation of the wackier canon events into a more realistic context like maintaining Butters's eye injury through other means, Kenny being gone for extended periods of time, Stan secretly taking in animals, still playing superheroes. I recently read an anger management counseling fic where Cartman bit off a guy's finger in an argument which I assumed was a Scott Tenorman Must Die reference

Pairing-related

Tweek being closer to the Tuckers than his own parents; his own house being tidier but the Tuckers' being much more of a home

Craig's been gay since 2007, Season 11 episode 8, "Le Petit Tourette." No straight reason for asking to do "the coolest kid in the world's" laundry. Has a type for twitchy dudes--Thomas from that same episode and then his relationship with Tweek

Cartman's demented-ass crush on Kyle; Kyman shipper or not, that kid's got bigass issues. I do not ship Kyman but Eric's got a fucked up little obsession with Kyle. Bro saved his family from deadly L.A. smug because he couldn't live happily without having Kyle there to constantly argue with

Stan being the one to be super down bad for Kyle yet also be the one with more issues in the relationship. I love Stan but dude has way too much of Randy in him, he's gotta be a pain in the ass

Only Kenny calling Butters "Leo," with most characters not recognizing his actual name being Leopold; being sort of popular as a secretive background relationship and Kenny being very protective

#south park #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #craig tucker #tweek tweak #clyde donovan

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hellparkri · 5 months ago

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At the shores of a mountain

-Craig, I have to thank you for all the time you've spent by my side. No one, no one, NO ONE will love me as much as you have. YOU, you, Craig, you are the most important person in my life, the most beautiful and sincere person in the world. And I have to apologize for being so weak, for being the most useless person in the world, for... failing you. Forgive me, but I simply don't belong in this world. I deserve to die; I've only caused sadness and pain to everyone who loves me, including you. I'm not made to live; God hates me; I don't deserve to live...

"Craig, I'm the worst person there is, but I truly cherished all the time by your side. Goodbye..."

Craig's heart stopped for a few seconds: his eyes widened as much as possible, his breathing sounded like something was choking him. Almost instantly, he felt a huge lump in his throat; he couldn't even say a single word. It was so... quick, Craig rapidly wrote to his boyfriend, he was worried, yet he clouldn't believe if it was real or not. Thomas wasn't the kind of person to joke about this, there was something in his behaviour that didn't seemed alright in the previous days... there was only one way to know if Thomas was alright...

but still Craig just stood there for a few seconds, maybe procesing what was happening... that message was sudden, out of nowere yet felt like it would've happened sooner than later ran with the speed worthy of the Olympics towards the exit of his room. His entire family saw him run and ignored them when they tried to ask what was happening. Craig didn't even stop to look at them, opened the door of his house, and ran through the neighborhood. His beloved's house wasn't far from his; he could easily get there in a minute at the speed he was going. He ran, but somehow it felt like the roads just became longer, no words where spoken, yet Craig's heart just beated harder and harder, it was choking him! He couldn't breathe! Much less talk,to shout for help, to shout Thomas name!!!

But all his hopes of saving Thomas ended when he heard the thunderous sound, like a distant lightning strike. Everything around the Craig turned hard and hot like a desert, yet cold and sharp like ice rocks. It felt like he was in a diferent world! Craig fell to the ground on his knees: he couldn't even scream or make a sound of agony after hearing that noise. He knew very well where that shot had come from, he knew very well that there was nothing he could do about it now. The lump in his throat grew so large that he could almost feel like he was being choked by it. Those were agonizing seconds; the purest silence covered the entire town. The town that no more than a minute ago enjoyed the beautiful melody of birds singing, of united and happy families chatting about their lives, now everything was in the most absolute silence. There wasn't a single soul on that street, just Craig kneeling: his eyes quickly filling with tears and spreading across his forehead.

The first to break the silence was his father: Thomas Tucker.

-Craig, is everything okay!? What the hell is happening!? - said his father.

Without even the slightest bit of hope, Craig headed to the home of what was no less than 10 minutes ago his partner. And when he saw the house open, with his mother crying inconsolably on the floor and a couple of neighbours comforting her, he understood that, indeed, his worst fear had come true. His partner, his boyfriend, his life companion, was... gone. He couldn't even look at the lifeless body of the person he loved so much. He wasn't strong enough to do it; he couldn't bear to let all his sadness out. He cried in silence as he walked towards Thomas's mother: she was simply devastated. That poor woman had to live through her husband's divorce, had to see her son humiliated for his illness over and over again, had to watch her son isolate himself from the world, and finally, had to live through the death of the only thing she had left in life.

-No~ I don't understand~ I don't understand! ~ I DON'T UNDERSTAND! ~ I did everything for my son~ but I didn't realize what was happening to him...~ - said that completely broken mother, with eyes that looked like dried grapes from crying so much, her voice becoming weaker and weaker the more she cried, making it increasingly difficult to understand what she was saying.

-I- I don't understand either, ma'am~ I- I loved him, ~ I always tried to make his day better but~ but...~ I don't understand what I did wrong...~ - Without saying much more, the raven-haired boy hugged the mother of his deceased boyfriend; only she could understand the pain he was feeling at that moment.

-Oh, Craig~ - Mrs. Lacey closed her eyes and, still sobbing, said to Craig: - D-do you know? ~ Of the few moments I remember seeing Thomas happy in these last months was when you were by his side, ~ he wouldn't stop talking to me about you and everything you did together. I thought he was getting better, ~ but, honestly, I don't understand what happened. ~ I don't know what I did wrong~ - The inconsolable lady wiped her tears a little and then handed Craig an envelope with a blue seal.

-Here, ~ T-Thomas wanted you to read this~ -

Craig ran out with the envelope in one hand and wiping away the tears running down his face and extending to his neck with the other. He didn't pay attention to his family, much less to his boyfriend's mother, who was asking him to please come back. Amid many tears, Craig just hid in his room and lay down to cry in silence. Everything had happened so quickly; he was so exhausted after this horrible day. He just lay in his bed, but it was impossible for him to sleep. Hours passed, he didn't let anyone in to console him; he felt so guilty and so powerless that he didn't even have the strength to see what was in the envelope given by Thomas. It was simply too much guilt, to the point where he couldn't look anywhere but at that letter, he couldn't even open.

And as the hours passed, the only thing Craig heard was the sound of a gunshot in the distance... It was the only thing he could hear inside his head for hours...

#hellparkri #hellpark #craig tucker

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did-i-mention-the-shirt · 9 months ago

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okay okay yes i KNOW i should be writing my fanfic BUT

Community characters as AJJ songs bc it's my favorite show and favorite band :] (If you want anyone added, feel free to ask!) Jeff Winger - Brave As A Noun. Okay, hear me out. This song not only applies to him lyrically but also shares the energy he has in the later seasons. He's just forcing himself to be satisfied with a life he doesn't really want, but also doesn't hate, is very season six finale. That is very much BAAN.

Britta Perry - Dissonance. It really has her energy. From the pilot to the finale, it fits her consistently despite her major character change. She is not put together. She hates herself because everyone's told her to. Britta is the best, but no one sees that. Not even herself. The only people who treated her with respect were the people she spent the least amount of time with! Think about it, she's had - what? - One touching scene with Duncan and Pierce each? She deserves more.

Abed Nadir - Goodbye, Oh Goodbye. Just listen to the song and you'll agree. This is mostly because of Troy's departure or in Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas. Whenever he has to confront his emotions, he has this distance between himself and everyone else. The opening lines, "I was thrown onto the ground/I was locked inside a basement/The guards went on vacation while I plotted my revolt." really, really, REALLY reminds me of 'Virtual Systems Analysis' when Annie's talking to Abed in the mind locker. It's a sad song, but it really fits him. The line "It's nothing like the nothingness that normally numbs one pain" is very clearly related to Troy. He got so used to Troy, and he never took him for granted, but Troy became a constant. He was Abed's anchor, and now he's gone.

Annie Edison - No one. This is Annie, particularly as the Ace of Hearts in 'A Fistful Of Paintballs'.

Troy Barns - A Big Day for Grimley. It's giving post-sea voyage Troy. He's changed, he's traumatized, and he's a little bit alone. He's proud of himself but is full of regret. What happened to Abed? He doesn't know.

Pierce Hawthorne - People Ii: The Reckoning. THIS IS PIERCE!!! Now, many of you know I love Pierce, so if you don't then you might not agree with this choice lmao

Pierce is sad. He is so sad. In Britta's words, he has spent so long looking out for himself, but he would give it all up for a shot at a family. He never gets that family. The study group never fully accepts him, despite his efforts and his becoming a better person with their help. Even Annie, the nicest to him in the group, seems to see him as a project or something. Like, he's just some old racist, homophobic old man, and not someone with 60+ years of trauma that he gradually works through with the help of his friends. He gains a brother. He defends the LGBTQ+ community. He wants nothing more than to be close to Jeff. And he dies alone.

So, yeah. "Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, people love you more, oh nevermind."

Dean Craig Pelton - Human kittens. No, I don't know why. Someone needs to give him a hug (Jeff).

Ben Chang - Dipping Things In Stuff. I don't know, he's batshit. He wants love though, just like the rest of us. This is very seasons 5/6 of Chang, I believe.

Buzz Hickey - Hate, rain on me. Tired, nihilistic, and praying for hope. I really like this song for him.

Elroy Patashnick - Normalization Blues. Don't ask me why. It works.

Ian Duncan - Fucc The Devil. Sad, distant, desperate, and hallow. But enough about Duncan. This song is the perfect example of, "I have what I want. Why am I still not okay?" which is what Duncan faces a lot. "I wanna go away for a while/Away for awhile/Because the things that I have seen/Are turning me into a shitty human being." Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not Ian. This man deserves so much more then people will let him have. Don't get me wrong, he's awful. But aren't we all, just a little bit?

Frankie and Shirley are too sane for this band im sorry to them

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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 1 year ago

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Code Blue Ch. 33- Theater of Pain

Summary: Jason Morgan is back! He and Craig bicker. Josie gets the shock of her life. Both men get their just deserves during an emotionally long and dramatic showdown. Orlando is sought out. Some bar fun is short lived. Josie saves Orlando once again and keeps him from making a huge mistake.

*Warnings* language, dark and super angsty, mob depictions, alcohol use, mentions of abuse and molestation, violent tendencies, weapon use

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Jason, Craig, Josie, Orlando, Luke Sr.

Salem, Massachusetts

March 7, 2023

Twenty minutes after you left Craig's apartment, he received a knock on his door. Thinking it was you, he rushed over and swung it open.

"Hey, Josie, you forgot your box of....Woah. What the hell are you doing?! Get in here before someone sees you!" Craig commanded to none other than your dead and buried brother, Jason Morgan, and then slammed the door shut behind him. "Where the hell have you been??!!"

"Sonny's. Where else?" the blue-eyed muscle man dressed in black retorted.

"Oh well, THAT would have been nice to know after you just snuck out of here like I told you NOT to do! I should have kept you drugged. Did you know my father is out?? He was just here an hour ago! Wanting to know what I've been up to while he was away!"

"I know he was, and my sister too. I have been watching and waiting for them both to leave. Does Cyrus know I'm alive?"

"I have no idea, but I'm sure he suspects it. Why else would he come here?? It sure wasn't to catch up with his beloved son over a cup of tea! Being his son does not protect me from his wrath. He's ruthless in case you haven't gotten a clue yet. If he, or the Zacchara's know you're alive and that I aided with it, all hell is going to break loose. And heeeere you are, literally a dead man walking, coming to my home! You could have at least wore a damn hoodie. Are you trying to get yourself killed for real this time??? I'm not so sure I can heal a fucking gun shot!"

Jason wasn't one for being scolded or told what to do, which triggered him to blow up at Craig's reprimand.

"I would have survived! Just like I survived every gun shot!"

Craig was just like Jason, fearless and blunt, so he continued on with his rant to his best friend.

"Yeah and every explosion??? You only survived that because I fucking drug your ass out of there, otherwise, you would have been an unrecognizable corpse like the one in your grave!! A little thank you would be nice for following you around and knowing what's up and handling all of the dirty work!"

"Right and let me thank you for handling me by holding me against my will and shooting me up with horse tranquilizers!"

"Exactly what were you gonna do?? You're in over your head! I had to do that so you wouldn't go after them too soon and half cocked and ruin the entire plan! YOUR plan remember??? To make them believe you're dead so they wouldn't see you coming and here you are, walking around in broad fucking daylight. My father is clearly watching me so it looks like you've already shot your plan to shit because you have no damn patience. Not to mention, your sister lives right down the damn hall and I have to lie to that sweet girl!! Oh, and my father met her today!! He asked her last name to prove to me that he knows who she is!"

"Who's fault is that??! Why the hell did you let her move in here??? And why was she even here with you?? Wasn't screwing and marrying my ex not enough for you, that you gotta go after my sister too??"

"Ohhh hell no. You didn't just say that to me. Beth pursued me after you dumped her and went after that woman doctor, with very good reason I might add though, but that's beside the point. She followed me to New Zealand. Although I guess I got my karma for it huh? Can't even see my kid, who I'm one hundred percent certain is not even my kid. I'd bet my life on it that Blaise belongs to that punk Ethan. Countless times I had seen them together before she wound up pregnant, in which I think she already was when she found me because the timing just never added up. Blaise was born early and she wasn't a preemie."

"Well at least your kid is alive and knows you as her father. Jake only knew Lee as his dad, which I was alright with. He's a good man from what I know and he truly loved my son as his own even after he found out the truth that he wasn't. I thought Jake would have been better off not being a part of my life, you know, safe and having a normal family. That sure bit me in the ass."

"You're right man. I am truly sorry about your loss and what Beth did to you and that boy. I wish you could prove what she did, then maybe I'd be able to take Blaise from her psychotic demented ass. She has no business being a mother."

"No need for that. Liz will get hers, all in due time and then Blaise will be all yours. So...tell me you didn't tell Jo any of this? I mean, Jake was her nephew that she never knew existed and now she's dating his dad. I would rather her hear it from me at some point."

"No...of course I haven't...and I hate it, with every bit of my soul, lying to her about everything." Craig remorsefully said until a light bulb turned on in his head, causing him to panic.

"Wait....did you just say, oh no no no....Beth's ex Lee is Josie's Lee??"

"Youuuu seriously didn't know that??"

"NO I didn't know they were one and the same! Fuck me...I can't believe I didn't figure that out. She did say....she knew someone going through what I was with Blaise not being mine but never said who...All she had ever said about her boyfriend was his first name which is all I had ever known about Beth's ex...I had never seen the guy and I wasn't going to ask either of them to see photos so I...I didn't place it....and I...I figured when Josie told me about Ethan, that she only knew him because of you...oh Jesus... she is going to hate me when this all comes out! I think I know what a panic attack feels like now."

Craig aggressively ran his hand over his face and then he began pacing, snatching up the wine bottle and drinking straight from it as he did so.

"Yeah Craig, they're the same entity and again, who's fault is it if she hates you? You wouldn't even know her on a personal level if you hadn't let her rent here. My sister was never supposed to be involved in any of this. Why Craig? Why did you do that when you knew I was right downstairs at the time???"

"Honestly, I thought it would be best, for you, ya know, to have her close. Keep an eye on her, help keep her safe. I mean, she was a victim of the Floating Rib's explosion too and that damn dog sniffing cop was her ex....and it's probably a good thing she's here because she told me Ethan is becoming a problem in her life. I guess he recently put his own brother in the hospital, attacked him or some shit and is harassing Josie and LEE. But trust me, I'm going to put a stop to that REAL quick."

"First of all, just stay out of all this and away from my sister. I will handle Ethan and Johnny both. They're the ones who had that bomb planted and I also know Liz was in on it too."

"Yeah well, I can't stay out of it, nor hardly stay away from my own tenant, NOR do I want to. Especially now and besides, you know as well as I do that there's no getting out of the mob because I tried when I left to go home....and don't forget my father. He was the mastermind of it all. You know he's allies with the Zacchara's and he wants you dead for sending him to prison, and then there's Sonny, the real target, who he despises more than anything. Your Sonny's right hand man, the deadly weapon of the Corinthos family and taking you out was the perfect way to weaken him, hitting him where it hurt the most."

"I'll handle Cyrus too, once and for all, like I should have before. Sonny knows he's free and has his eyes and ears everywhere....and Sonny is far from weak without me. You of all people should know that since you work for him too."

"Just as my father has eyes and ears all around, which is how he planned your entire hit from prison. So, I'm still in one piece so I assume you talked Sonny out of busting my knee caps for assisting you in your warped plan??"

"He's grateful that you had my back and saved me, so consider this your lucky day. I'm grateful too. I'm just frustrated, like you are. You're not the only one my sister is going to hate and then there's my mom man. She'll probably disown me, which would be for the best anyways. All I have ever done was try to keep her and Jo safe...but my sister, she's stubborn as hell and extremely fucking smart. She saw right through me and all my dealings. Jo knows me better than I know myself...and I will most likely lose her over this just like you. But with that said, she can't know. Not yet. Not until all the threats are eliminated. I don't want her hurt again because of me."

"Yeah well, I certainly am not going to tell her. Oh and by the way, she also said that Ethan is hanging around your other sister now. He was there today, at your mom's picking her up."

"One way or another, he's going down. Traitorous piece of garbage. I don't give a crap about my sister Megan. He's just her type and they deserve each other, but messing with my mom and Jo, he will soon regret. I'm gonna head back to Sonny's before Jo gets back. Just so you know, I didn't just walk here in broad daylight. I used the old underground tunnels and then I came up the back stairwell exit."

"Ahhh, the old smuggling catacombs. Bet that's an interesting sight."

"Trust me, you don't want to know. I feel like some sewer rat."

"Is that what that smell is?" Craig grinned as Jason rolled his eyes.

"I'll be in touch soon. Look for my code in a text so you know it's me."

"Got it. Watch your back man. Let me go out first to check the hall."

Up the stairs you came, fuming. Not so much over Lee, but over the phone call you had with your mom on the way back from seeing him. It was true. She was selling the Haunted Star and to make matters worse, it was who she was selling it to. You had called Lee right after, needing to talk to him about it and even Orlando too but now both seemed to be ghosting you.

All your thoughts were soon ceased as you headed to Craig's to get the box you forgot, for as you turned the corner, you got another surprise like earlier, only this one was enough to rock your world.

There stood your deceased brother, very much alive, beside a mortified Craig, who like you, forgot to breathe.

"You...you're alive?? How...." was all that came out of your gaping mouth as you stared with wide eyes at a very stunned Jason before everything went black.

As you began to faint, Craig charged past Jason to catch you, then he swooped you up and quickly carried you inside his apartment with Jason swiftly in tow.

"FUCK!" Jason shouted as he slammed the door and stared at you, cradled like a child in Craig's arms.

All Craig could do was gaze down at you, knowing that very soon, you would never want to see his face again and for some reason that he did not understand, it sent a pain through his heart that he had never felt before.

"Craig. Snap out of it. Put my sister down." Jason flatly and firmly ordered.

The addled artist blinked and then whipped his head up. "It's an art studio. I'm not laying her on the hard, cold and filthy ground. My apartment's through the back. Lock that door."

Jason bolted up the steel door, then rushed around the corner to see Craig gently laying you down on his bed.

"What are you doing??"

"She's warm. Open the patio door to let the cool breeze in from the bay and bring me a damp wash cloth from the restroom." Craig rambled off while concentrating on making you comfortable and watching your breathing.

The miffed mob man went to do as his obviously smitten friend asked, knowing you would come to at any moment and he would have some serious explaining to do, which he also knew you would never understand. Could Jason really blame you? He put you and his mom through the hell of believing he was dead. What possible justification for that could there be?

Jason rang out the rag and promptly brought it to Craig who was now sitting beside you, stroking your hair.

"What am I missing here Craig?"

"Huh?" he muttered as he tenderly patted the cloth over your forehead.

"That. This. The way you are with her. The way you look at her."

"You're reaching Jason. I...I just care for her, that's all."

"Yeah, maybe a little too much. Don't forget, she loves someone else and also don't forget who you are."

"Speak for yourself about who I am....and who said anything about love?"

"I did. I know you better than anyone and I see it. You're getting caught up in her. You're the last thing she needs. Look at all she has been through just because of me and my life."

"First of all, I don't need your approval or permission to do a damn thing in my life and second of all, you won't need to even worry about that once she wakes up and tells me to fuck off. Like she'd ever be interested in someone like me anyways, especially now....and quite frankly, it's the last thing I even want in my life after Beth and every other girl who I was never good enough for. Like you said, she loves someone else so drop it Jason."

"You're the one going on and on about it. Who you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"ENOUGH!" Craig barked, causing you to stir. "Heyyy there princess, can you hear me?" he softly said as he took your hand.

Your eyelids began to flutter open and all you saw was Craig's worried face coming into focus, for Jason stood far back, hands on his hips and head down, slightly peering up at you under his arched brow, calmly waiting for the heat he was about to take.

"Craig? Wh...what happened? Where am I?" you asked, squinting a few times at the unfamiliar bed you laid upon and your hand inside of Craig's.

"You...you fainted sweetheart. You're in my apartment....well, my...bedroom."

Craig lightly gulped as your confused eyes then fixated on his. "My panic attack...I...did I...dream of going to seeing Lee? Did I never leave?"

"No, princess, you left and....came back for your things that you forgot and...."

"JASON!" you shouted and flung up with bulging eyes that quickly spotted the icy blue eyes you thought you'd never see again.

The moment was intense and so surreal for both of you. Jason knew that when you found out, it would be a shock any way that he revealed himself, but it wasn't supposed to be like this and not now.

You yanked your hand free from Craig's and abruptly pushed past him to stand up and face the man the who you were told had severe head trauma and was burned beyond recognition. All you could do was gawk at him, studying every detail of his face to make sure you weren't hallucinating or even dreaming....and of course to make sure it was really him because...then who's body did Lee work on?? Who was in the casket and buried six feet under with a tombstone naming Jason Steven March on it???

"I ummm, I'm gonna go in the other room and give you both some privacy." Craig quietly said, attempting to escape and headed to the door.

"Hold it!!" you snapped, holding your arm out, pointing at him as your eyes remained trapped on Jason.

Craig pursed his lips as he froze, then slowly turned back around.

"H...how??? How are you here???!! I...I...I was there....I...the explosion...Lee...he...he saw your...body??? We...we fucking buried you...oh my god, I have got to be having some break from reality right now...this...this is just not possible! I...I want to hug you so bad and at the same time, I want to rip your head off! Someone start talking!!!"

"Craig, you're right. leave us...please. I need to talk to my sister alone." Jason said as he finally worked up the nerve to speak. The six foot assassin feared no one, except for four people. His mother, Sonny, Britt and ...you....and all for very different reasons.

Craig couldn't move fast enough because he was sure his head would be the next target and he was right.

"Don't go far....you and I have our own conversation to have....friend!" you warned with a glare at the man who clearly knew your brother, the man you told only hours ago that you trusted him, the man who now made sense that he was one of the family. When would you ever learn?

Craig's baby blues were remorse ridden, much like Jason's, as he nodded and quietly walked out, closing the door behind him. He began to finish off his bottle of wine from earlier while not being able to help overhearing the crying, shouting and either a slap or a punch, all coming from you....and he knew he would be next.

Almost an hour went by while Craig fretted and drank another bottle. Your voice had become softer at times, then loud again as Jason's could be heard explaining everything and then...the door flung open and you came storming out in a rage.

"YOU! You were a part of ALL this???!!! You KNEW my brother was alive this entire time??? You helped him orchestrate it all because YOU are one of them. My god how blind and stupid could I be...once more?? I trusted you! I actually believed you were a good guy when you're no better than any man I ever believed in because they all let me down. But you knew all about that. You knew everything about me before I ever even met you. You lying son of a bitch. I recant ever calling you my friend."

Craig lowered his head in shame, releasing a soft sigh as he had stood there motionless the entire time, holding his wine glass in one hand and fidgeting with his other while taking the verbal beating he knew he deserved as Jason also stood quietly with a lingering welt of a hand print across his cheek.

"You're not stupid...and you're right...Josie. I am a son of a bitch and a liar, but I swear...I swear on my daughter, please believe me when I say I cannot express how sorry I am for hurting you. I hated every minute of it but I...I had no choice. Please...please tell me you at least believe that. I care about you..a lot. We connected and I know you felt it too. Can I please tell you my side of things? Just you and me?" Craig softly pleaded as he took a step towards you. One he shouldn't have taken, for he also then earned his awaited slap.

He took it with a flinch and then slowly brought his humiliated eyes to yours as you began to cry. The one thing you had told him you never did in front of people if you could help it... and you couldn't help it. He hurt you deeply and he was going to know it and feel it. And he did too. It tore him to pieces seeing you cry.

"Why, so you can manipulate me some more? I know all I need to know. Any connection there may have been, you killed it. You had a damn choice Craig and it certainly wasn't caring about me. The only thing I actually even believe about you now is that you truly love your daughter...and I really hope she's not Ethan's, mostly for her sake, you know, the guy I told you about that you actually knew way more better than you let on?? Like umm, Elizabitch, I mean BETH is your baby mama of all lying cheating whores. Apparently I AM stupid for not realizing that when Britt flat out argued with her about you once, defending you, even said your name...and considering you even knew who Ethan was...a con just like you, that should have been a red flag...and YOU should have known who Lee was too. Guess you were just as stupid as me because YES I WAS STUPID!" you argued to his denial of it, throwing your hands in the air and then continued berating him.

"God how it all makes sense now and then there's your creepy ass dad, another mob man, who clearly had you all in some way after his not so random visit... but you said nothing, you wouldn't talk about him. Guess I can see why now. I mean shit, he just got out of PRISON for the typical not so legal shipments on the docks. I could go on all day here about what I have learned. I mean, what could you possibly say that I don't already know? Just more...'pretty words' huh Craig??...Oh...and then there's the fact that I had a nephew I didn't even know about or ever meet! A nephew who happens to be the dead son of my boyfriend who's life has been turned upside down over it all, but yet he's not his son now is he? He's my brother's son which you both knew. How do I even tell Lee something like this? Like, oh by the way Lee, that sweet little boy you've been grieving over for 4 years now, well guess what, I know who his bio daddy is...it's my not so dead brother and that makes me his aunt. And believe me, I will tell him. Unlike you both, I don't keep fucking secrets. Well, except for mom. Jason can fix his own damn mess with that. ALL I know is you both deserve each other and can go to hell!...OH...and Craig...I am NOT a fucking princess. What I am is a damn fool who was made to feel like one by those pretty words. But hey, thanks for trying to cheer me up."

Your words were getting colder and colder, mocking things Craig had said to you, and you hated it. You hated this side of you, stemmed from always being fucked over, and you needed to get out of there, so you went to walk out , but Jason quickly blocked the door.

"Jo, no. You can't go off like this and you definitely can't tell Lee about me."

"The last time I checked, I could do anything I damn well please, now get the hell out of my way Jay. As elated as I am that you're alive, I can't deal with this right now. It's too damn much. I need to go and let it all soak in... and even then, I don't know if I can ever forgive you... and I'll tell you right now, mom won't."

"Look, I know you're angry and you have every damn right to be, but take a little advice that I was given. Don't go out there all half cocked and do something stupid. That's what has kept me alive. Craig... he kept me alive Jo. Don't put Lee in danger by telling him things he don't need to know. Sometimes you have to do it Jo, to protect those you love. Just like I did. Let me handle this."

"Right, because you done such a stand up job so far at handling things. How is making me and mom suffer and have to bury you, protecting us??? Silly me, what was I thinking? And just how does telling Lee about Jacob put him in danger???"

"Because I never told anyone but Sonny and Craig about him being my son and you know Lee will go straight to Liz about it in anger and she'll figure out I'm alive because she knows they would never tell anyone and then she could easily shoot her mouth off to Ethan and then he'll go to Johnny... do you see now??"

"That sounds to me like it only puts YOU in danger. Story of your life. I can't even believe this... how everyone knows everyone and is involved somehow. It's not like Salem is a small town. All the signs I get in my life, how the fuck did I miss all this??? How do I keep this from him when we are having problems for the same damn reasons???? You can't do this shit to me Jason!!! Not after everything. I won't lie to him. He won't say anything if ask him not to."

"I can't stop you Jo, but I really hope you think about it long and hard before you do. You're already having trust issues with him and..."

"Are you really playing that card with me right now???!!! You may have been spying on me all this time but you know NOTHING about my relationship with Lee. Nothing! I DO trust him. He's obviously not the only one with skeletons in his closet so just back off of him! Go worry about your damn boat that mom sold to Ethan's dad!! And why?? To get rid of everything that reminded her of your criminal life. That was dad's boat Jason, and he trusted you with it! And you went and changed your will, leaving it to mom. Why didn't you leave it to me?? I wanted it Jay. I wanted to make something good out of it and now... now it will continue to be a craft of crime. Better go get your bike before she pawns that off too! Maybe Ethan would like it since the one he rides is a piece of shit like he is! What is wrong with you Jason??? Look what you have done to our family!! Why didn't you just stay dead!!!"

"That's enough Jo!! I get it that you're hurt and angry and with every right to be, but you need to calm down!!"

"Don't yell at her man. She hasn't done anything wrong." Craig firmly stated as he stepped out of his corner.

"Stay out of it Craig and stop trying to suck up to my sister because you have some thing for her." Jason retorted.

"Stay out of it?? You keep saying that and yet here I am, in this shit clear up to my damn neck, and why?? ALL to help you. Why did you even have to come here when you knew the risks???? You could have called!!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I ruined whatever delusions you had going on here but this was all going to blow up in your face eventually and it was better sooner than later from what I can see."

"Delusional? This is fucking reality. A reality that YOU created Jason and me...her, your mom, Lee, Britt... are just collateral damage in your mob war."

The two bickering men had become within a foot of each other's faces and you had had enough.....although you were inclined to agree with Craig on what he had just said.

"Oh stop it! Both of you! This isn't a damn soap opera, but Craig is right about that Jay. You're like a fucking tornado, destroying everything in it's path and I...I am just done here. I need to go find someone to talk to that I actually DO trust. Someone that worked his ass off to earn it because he genuinely cares for me and I have neglected him because of all my bullshit."

"Josie...wait...please." Craig calmly pleaded, although extreme desperation was written all over his face. "Please, just don't hate me. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. I'll work my ass off too to earn your trust back. I can't stand this. I never wanted to hurt you."

There was that sincere side of him again and it slightly softened you, but not to the point of oblivion.

"But you did hurt me. What this other person did was something petty, like a high school kid would do. What you BOTH have done is indescribable to me, completely beyond measure to that and I don't see what you could ever possibly do to make that right. I do...I do know it was not intentional. I don't hate you Craig....I feel sorry for you. You're actually a lot like me. You have a good heart in there...I've seen it and I've even heard it, but you let my brother and the shit you been through take you to the dark side and you took me down with you. You can't fix this. As they say, you never get a second chance at a first impression."

You glanced at Jason who held his head low and back at Craig's attentive and somber eyes as tears streamed down your cheeks, in which he then bravely marched forward and gently took your face in his hands. It happened so quickly that you just caved and let him touch you. Maybe you subconsciously wanted him too?

"But this is not the first impression, now is it? You've already seen that in me long ago. You know that and you know me. The real me that I don't let anyone else see. And you even just said you know I have a good heart so you contradict yourself, just Josie. That connection I mentioned. It's there... right now." Craig softly said, bearing the bluest of eyes and kindest smile. The real him that that carried that connection to you. The real him that you secretly didn't want to lose.

Nope. You weren't going to let him work his ridiculous magic on you that you could feel starting to work. You shoved his hands down and then walked out as fast as you could, completely ignoring your resurrected brother and forgetting your box of stuff that caused this entire revelation and situation to unfold.

You headed straight to your car and called Orlando...but as usual, he didn't answer. You needed to warn him about his dad buying the boat because that meant his father had every intention of sticking around Salem. You also missed the good doctor Bloom.

Off you went as dusk was setting in, to see if he was home, for you knew he was still on medical leave from the hospital according to Britt. You didn't have to go that far though, for on your way through town, you happened to see Orlando getting out of a cab and heading into the Brady pub, your family's bar and eatery. It was like you were meant to find him. Signs again?

You circled back around and parked, then headed inside. It was almost as if Orlando sensed your presence as he turned around and immediately locked his chocolate eyes on you. He then slowly approached you with furrowed brows as those now shocked eyes looked you up and down.

"Hey..." you quietly said, coming to a stop only a few feet away from him.

"What are you doing here?" he simply asked with no expression. You just wanted to hug him, needing comforting arms around you but he seemed less than pleased to see you, so you refrained.

"I...I tried to call you. I really needed to talk to you so I..."

"Since when do you need me? I haven't heard from you or seen you since I was in the hospital. Guess you had better things to do."

'You're...angry with me...I'm...I'm sorry...you're right, I've been so wrapped up in things and..so much has happened and...it's no excuse but I...you're the only one I wanted to talk to right now...and I just need..." you stammered as you began to choke up.

Orlando's flat expression instantly became that of concern and he took your hands into his.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked with such compassion, which triggered your tears paired with a pathetic frown.

"Everything." you squeaked as you squeezed his hands in response to the once again tightening of your throat. Thank god there was no one working that you knew and thank god Orlando pulled you into his arms. His scent was refreshing and natural, like Gain laundry soap, reminding you of the other time he had held you in your mom's kitchen during your inebriated mourning of Jason's death.

Orlando rested his cheek against your head as he gently caressed your back with his fingers entwining in the ends of your hair. Orlando was shorter than Lee and Craig, so this time yo couldn't hear his heartbeat but you could feel it against yours as your face was burrowed into his neck. Instead of a slow steady pace like Craig's, Orlando's was racing and as the hot breaths from his nose pulsed over your ear. Strangely though, it was still soothing.

"Feeling better now?" he whispered and slowly pulled back to look down at you.

"Yeah.." you answered in embarrassment for imploding into him in public and quickly released the comfort zone of his body.

"I was just about to get a beer. Join me? I'm buying." he asked with that cute ass smile of his where the corners of his lips slightly curled up.

"Yes, please!" you anxiously agreed and sat down at a secluded table.

Orlando then brought two large glasses of tap and before he could even sit down, you began chugging it. He then plopped down with gaping eyes, watching the last drop enter your mouth.

"Thirsty??" he asked with a slight chuckle.

"You have no idea. Can I get another??" you called to the bartender.

She quickly brought it over and left, then you lifted it up in a tilt to Orlando.

"Cheers!" you cheered.

"I'll drink to that. Cheers." Orlando replied with a silly smirk and toasted back to you.

"So I see your hand is healing up nicely. I'm sorry Lando...that I haven't been around."

"Yeah it is, although I've gotten quite accustomed to using my left hand now. Don't apologize. I'm the one who's sorry for sounding cross."

"Well you kind of had a right to be, but thanks...for being so great, just like you always are. So, where's your mom and Luke?"

"Around somewhere I guess. Luke's off being my brother Luke, always disappearing so who knows what the hell he's up to. Mum's got a place at the Salem Inn for now. I don't stay home much to know anything. Can't stand the silence. Glad I'm going back to work next week. Ironically the same day as Lee's conference. You'll be there right?"

Your eyes fell from his and you continued to drink.

"Josie? What's going on? And don't tell me nothing. This great guy here can see right through you."

"I...umm...I think Lee and I...are over. Story of my life." you told him as you shrugged and fought the sting in your eyes.

"You may not believe this...but...I really am sorry to hear that. I don't ever want to see you hurt Josie. Do you...want to talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about really. It's pretty simple. It's all over Ethan as usual and I think that Lee has some feelings for him to face that he will not be honest with me about or even to himself. I hope Ethan has been leaving you alone because he sure hasn't stayed out of mine or Lee's life and Lee won't make him stay away which speaks volumes. Fucking menace. Ethan's fucking my sister now, did you know that? Came to my own mother's house this afternoon to pick her up. I'm just so disgusted with everything right now."

"Jesus...Josie, no I didn't know. Ethan is always with someone knew all the time and no, he hasn't bothered me. I think Luke did something to cause that."

There was so much you wanted to tell Orlando, about Jason, about Ethan and Liz and Craig, but you couldn't. As mad as you were at your brother, you were so grateful he was alive and you still had to protect him. The question was, were you going to tell Lee?

Speaking of...Luke, the other one...your uh...dad....have you seen him at all?"

"No...and I better not. I want my hand to stay healed."

You saw it in his darkened eyes, the instant rage when he spoke of him....and now, you were fretting over having to tell him what you knew. You let out a deep sigh and forced yourself to do it.

"Landy...he umm...my mom sold him Jason's boat, the Haunted Star."

If someone had dropped a pin, it would have been heard through the entire bar.

"Wwwwwhat???" he snapped as he sat straight up, staring you down.

"Yeah, that was my reaction as well. I..don't have an explanation other than my mom was trying to rid of Jason's things that reminded her of his life of crime and...I think your dad intentionally bought it to bring back that life that once existed on that yacht, which means...he plans on staying around here... I'm so sorry...I dreaded having to tell you but you deserved to know."

"That son of a bitch." he growled and chugged down his beer, then motioned for more. "And I can guarantee you, Ethan will be right at his side through it all. After everything Ethan knows that piece of shit did to me...to him even that he won't admit. Just proves how sick in the head Ethan really is. Like father like son."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I may not have known your dad, but I can tell you're nothing like him. You're a healer and a good person Landy."

He gazed at you for a moment and then chugged down the new glass and motioned for more. "Just keep em coming, please and thank you!"

"So...what's up with you calling me Landy now?" he then asked with a soft smile.

"Hell I don't know. I guess it just rubbed off on me from hearing Lee and Luke call you that. I...I hope it's ok?? I will stop if you don't want me to."

"Nah...I don't mind. I kinda like the way you say it. It has a different kind of ring to it." he grinned.

You forced a smile and then fondled your glass as you stared at it. You just couldn't get Lee out of your head and all the shit with Jason. Orlando then reached across the table and took your hand.

"Hey...you ok?"

"I'm just trying to wrap my head around it all."

"Well, how about for one night, you stop trying and let loose a bit. I'm supposed to meet Jimmy and some guys here in a bit. Stay and have some fun with me. I've missed you."

"You want ME to hang out with you and a bunch of dudes?" you chuckled.

"Yep...I sure do. Come on. Jimmy likes you....and well...so do I. It would make my night if you'd stay with me."

All you could hear in that moment was Lee's voice telling you that Orlando was in love with you, and you never wanted to believe it...but now...you did. The way his eyes lit up when he looked at you told on him and you now wondered if it was a good idea to stay....but then, why not??? you thought. It was better than going home and crying yourself to sleep in the apartment across from Craig.

"Fiiiine. You twisted my arm. Bring on the drinks!"

About fifteen minutes later, Jimmy and two guys came in and you all moved to a larger table and then everything became somewhat normal with conversations and loud laughter, music and drinking. This went on for about two hours and for once, your mind was free of pain....and so was Orlando's. It was good to see him smile again.

As the music played, a song came on that resonated with you big time and you were feeling damn good too, so you got up and began dancing and singing without a care in the world, even if it the song made you think of Lee.

"I didn't wanna leave babe, I didn't wanna fight, started to cry but then I remembered I can buy myself flowers!! Write my name in the sand!! Talk to myself for hours, say things you don't understand. I can take myself dancing!! i can hold my own hand...yeah I can love me better than you can!!"

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"Wanna bet!!" Orlando shouted and pulled you on his lap, wrapping his arms around you and laughing while Jimmy bellowed in laughter, clapping like a seal.

Everything was good. You didn't mind his arms around you. It felt nice. You didn't have a shadow of a doubt in your mind that Orlando was into someone else and that's what you craved. To be someone's one and only and not just because they said and showed you that you were, but because you KNEW you were....and with Lee, you didn't know that like you once believed you did.

Annnd, no matter what you did, it still hurt like hell and Lee plagued your mind. Damn him, you thought and got up.

"I need to use the lady's room."

"Ahh, yes. Me too. Oh...no no..I mean the boy's room." Orlando said as he stumbled up in laughter.

Orlando was still laughing as he relieved himself. He hadn't had this much fun since he could remember and it was all because of you. But he felt terribly guilty for feeling even the slightest bit happy that you and Lee may be at the end of the road. Did he really have a chance with you if that were the case? The doubts were there, for he knew deep down inside, it would always be Lee that your heart desired, even if you couldn't be with him.

As he washed his hands, his thoughts were intruded by a familiar face that walked in and didn't see Orlando. The man he stared at in the mirror was none other than his father....Luke Sr.

In his stunned state, Orlando held his head down as his dad did his business and left without even washing his hands. That was a perfect example of the dirty ass man he was.

Orlando quickly walked out to see where he was. Had he been in the bar the whole time, stalking him from a dark corner and decided to follow him into the bathroom to taunt him?? His thoughts ran wild and he couldn't focus as he watched Luke drink the last of his beer, then put on his coat and leave. In his frazzled state, Orlando spun around and accidentally ran into some woman, knocking her drink all over her.

"Are you fucking blind???!" she barked.

That did it. That was enough. Orlando was seeing red. He had to get the hell out of there and follow him. He had waited a long time for this moment and there was no better time in his eyes to unleash his fury on the man who abused him as a child in the most sinful of ways.

He grabbed his coat and stormed out the door with you running after him. As he got outside, he caught a glimpse of his dad heading to another bar down the road.

"Orlando!! Wait! Where are you going???"

"Nowhere...I just need some air." he flatly said, looking like he was going to hyperventilate.

"Hey, what's wrong?? What happened?? You're sweating. Talk to me."

"Nothing Josie. Just go home. I gotta go." he anxiously said as he shook his head and then marched off down the sidewalk.

"What??? Like hell I will. Wait up!!" you shouted and ran back to get your coat and purse, then after him.

Orlando rounded the corner, wanting to get it over with because he knew you were coming after him and he didn't want you to witness it or also try to stop him like he knew you would do.

There stood his father, smoking a cigarette on the sidewalk as he snuck up on him.

"Hello...dad." he said with extreme sarcastic emphasis.

"Ahhh. Landy. I was wondering when you would seek me out."

"Shut the fuck up. I would rather eat broken glass than be anywhere near you. It is you that has come here to find me, is it not?? To torture me some more because years of rape and battering wasn't enough for you???"

You just came around the corner and froze when you saw Orlando and heard what he said to the man who was obviously his dad. Now you understood what happened, that Orlando had seen him back in the bar.

You decided to stay back and give Orlando some privacy to let him have his long awaited say, but you got your pepper spray and phone out, ready to call 911 in case something bad happened. if that man even attempted to hurt Orlando, you would make sure the poor excuse of a father had no eyeballs left.

"Always were a drama queen, weren't you Lando. A real piece of theater, lost in your fantasy world of make believe."

"Fantasy??!! What you did to me was no fucking fantasy!!! Nor was it make believe!!"

Actually, you wanted to go over there right now and rip his other balls off for what he had done to him and for basically calling Orlando a liar when you knew it was true.

"So, what are you going to do? Kick my ass? Is that why you followed me boy?? I saw you back there at the bar. If you think you got what it takes to take me down, give it your best shot you pussy ass little girl. You can't even fucking swim. Why don't you do yourself a favor and go take a dive in the ocean."

Why did Luke's last words instantly send a flash through your mind of the two dreams you had of Orlando and you both drowning??? You prayed to god it wasn't another sign of some sort.

What you saw next, you couldn't quite conceive. Orlando pulled something out of his pocket that appeared to be a small sledgehammer and then he immediately began walking towards Luke.

"Orlando NO!!" you shouted as you came running up, which caused him to back away.

"Give it to me Landy...Now!!" you commanded as you tugged at the weapon which he refused to let go of.

"Damn it josie, I told you to go home! Get out of here!"

"I am NOT leaving you here with him! He's not worth spending your life in prison! Please...please give me the hammer and let's leave together Ok???"

"Would you look at that? Why Lando, you actually got yourself a girlfriend and she has bigger balls than you do! Where'd you find this one? On some porn site? Are you sure she's even a girl? I mean, I know how you enjoy dick."

Orlando charged him and pinned him against the wall by his throat, holding the hammer up and ready to swing it.

"You shut your filthy mouth!! Don't you ever talk about her like that!!!"

You don't know how you did it, adrenaline maybe? But you rushed up behind him and yanked the hammer out of his hand as hard as you could and then held your pepper spray out.

"Get the hell out of here before I call the police, you piece of trash."

Luke belted out a laugh. "Call them. He's the one who attacked me. I know who you are little girl. Your Morgan's sister. Hey, you'll have to stop by the boat sometime and let me know what you think of the new look it's going to get. You're more than welcome to....COME aboard. Hope to see you soon."

Off he strolled while you turned to hold Orlando back. He then glared at you.

"Are you insane?? That was my chance to end him!"

"Stop it! You're drunk and not thinking straight and I know you'll thank me later for saving your ass yet once again! Now come on. I'm taking you home! Let's go!"

@redeemer46

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#code blue #lee pace fanfiction #lee pace #orlando bloom #craig parker #steve burton #mob fiction #organized crime #mafia #doctors #jason morgan #love stories #dark stories #dark fiction #fantasies #fairytales #soap opera #angst

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jerzwriter · 1 year ago

Text

All in the Past 2/3

This started as a request from @angelasscribbles for ONE scene. Three parts later... I decided to make this a follow-up and alternate ending to one of my favorite short, angsty AUs, Unblemished, because we needed more angst. All three parts will be posted today.

Series Summary: Tobias & Casey were friends turned lovers whose different dreams led them to become friends once again. Two years after their painful breakup, Casey has moved on. Tobias is in town to attend his friend and one-time love's wedding, with his new girlfriend on his arm. It's just the wedding of an old friend, or, is it?

Part 2 Summary: Tobias's girlfriend, Meghan, has some questions for him, and he answers honestly - or so he thinks. Sienna attempts to get displeased Casey to see the truth. Tobias finally runs into Craig, the groom-to-be, and then it all falls apart.

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Characters/Pairings: Casey MacTavish (F!MC) x M!OC, Tobias Carrick x F!OC, Sienna Trinh

Rating: Teen

Words: 3,100

Series Masterlist

Tobias x Casey Masterlist | OH Masterlist | Full Masterlist

His eyes were wide open. Every microscopic crack and spec of dust on the ceiling above had been committed to memory. Tobias accepted that sleep wasn't going to happen about an hour ago. No, tonight, it was him, the humming sound of the air conditioner and his latest girlfriend blissfully sleeping at his side. Without waking, she snuggled closer to him, and he ran his fingers through her long, auburn hair as guilt consumed him. He genuinely liked Meghan; he cared for her. She was witty and kind. So beautiful that every head turned her way when she entered a room. He enjoyed her company, and she was good to him. Perhaps too good. He knew she deserved better than the half-truths he fed her early tonight. But were they lies if he was struggling to understand the truth himself? Any other fool would recognize what they had in Meghan. Then again, any other fool would never have let Casey go.

~~~~~

(Earlier that day)

Returning to his hotel room usually meant only one thing for him, but that's not where this was headed. Meghan, bless her, didn't seem upset. Still, Tobias couldn't shake the uneasiness that began creeping up on him during yesterday's flight and hadn't seemed to let down since. This wasn't the weekend he planned. A quick getaway to a luxury resort, a little pampering for him and his girl, some laughs with old friends, then wishing them well as they embarked on their new life together. It was supposed to be easy. Simple. But the human heart and mind can act in peculiar ways. Denial isn't always intentional, nor is it meant to be cruel. Sometimes, it's a mechanism designed to protect the individual at all costs. But there is a downside. We never know when the façade will begin to crumble, and even then, the truth isn't easy to accept. Tobias was about to learn a harsh lesson. We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Meghan sat on the edge of the bed with a gentle smile. Removing her new sandals and gently rubbing her sore feet, breaking in new shoes hadn't been on her agenda. Tobias dutifully sat at her side, taking over the task so she could rest. Her head tilted back as her eyes closed, and a soothing sigh escaped her. This was nice. So nice that Meghan considered putting the rest aside. But she wasn't about to let a little comfort win over her practical mind.

"Tobias..." she began, gently touching his cheek. "I'm not mad, but I do want some answers."

"Sure. Ask away..."

"Why haven't you been upfront with me about you and Casey?"

"What do you mean? You know she's my ex, and we were friends before that. We decided being friends worked better for us, and that's what we've been for years. Where haven't I been upfront?"

"Maybe it wasn't your intention, and maybe I read it wrong, but I was under the impression she was a friend that became a brief romance until you both realized you should have never taken that step. But since we left Boston yesterday, I feel like there's more."

"Meg, Casey wasn't a fling, if that's what you're asking. We cared for each other greatly but wanted different things and decided we'd be better apart. And she's getting married tomorrow... so it's worked out well for her."

"Perhaps. But how it worked out for Casey isn’t my concern... but you... I know we're relatively new... so this isn't a life or death issue... but I don't want to invest my heart anymore if you're still in love with someone else."

"In love with!" He blurted. "Meghan, we've been over for two years. Do I love her as a friend? Yeah... but I'm not in love with her anymore."

"But you were..."

"Yes, was... past tense. Are you telling me you don't have anyone you've loved in your past?"

"Of course I do. At our age, most do. But... I feel like she's the one who got away, which is fine. Many of us have that person in our past, but most don't attend their weddings."

"You’re right. And I wouldn’t attend her wedding if that’s who she was.”

“Tell me why you broke up, the real reason.”

Tobias stood and paced the floor. “Her residency ended, and she was deciding what offer to accept. Duke was a great fit, but... that led to the where are we headed discussion. She wanted to get married, have kids, a dog, and a backyard... I wanted Boston or at least another city. I don’t like grass. I wasn’t too sure about a pet. I didn’t mind a partner, for life even... but marriage, kids... that always sounded like a trap to me, one I didn’t want to fall into. We talked, and when we couldn’t find a compromise, we decided to go our separate ways.”

“Was it hard?”

“The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“Then you see my point... it wasn’t easy, and she’s still one of your best friends.”

He returned to Meghan’s side, gently touching her knee. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear about the extent of our relationship. But it’s irrelevant... because we’re in the present. Casey and Craig are my friends... I haven’t been sitting around pining for her.”

“What if she wasn’t with Craig?”

“Meg, that’s unfair. We can’t sit in a pile of what ifs; we can only go with what is.”

“You’re right,” she sighed. “I just don’t want my heart trampled on. I care about you, Tobias, and I think we’re building something good... I just want to make sure you’re all in, too. Are you?”

“I am,” he swallowed. “I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t believe that.”

“OK,” she smiled. “Then there’s nothing more to discuss.”

“Look, I’ve had enough wedding events to last me a lifetime. Why don’t we go do some sightseeing, just the two of us? We can go wherever you want. No one will miss us until the ceremony tomorrow.”

“I’d love that,” she smiled. “But let me change into something that matches the shoes I had on during the flight. I don’t want to break anything else in until the wedding.”

“You do that,” he smiled.

He grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge, waiting for the sense of relief that washes over you after a discussion like the one they just had, but it never arrived. He mindlessly pulled the curtains aside to take in the view. The upgraded room was worth every cent; the view was magnificent. Then he shook his head. Of all the things his eyes could have landed on... it had to be her. She sat poolside, eyes glued on the book in her hands, and he chuckled. He never could get her out of a bookstore. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. I’m not in love with Casey anymore. He insisted. I’m absolutely not. So why did his heart ache as much as it had on that Boston night? After all this time, why did he feel like it had never healed at all?

~~~~~

Sienna was the vision of a Northern tourist, happy to be enjoying a balmier climate as she walked alongside the pool in a bright floral swimsuit with a matching sarong, Jackie O! sunglasses, and a floppy straw hat. The look was completed with the two frosty tropical drinks in her hands. Her smile was as bright as the afternoon sun as she approached Casey.

“I know you’re supposed to be relaxing for the big day,” she grinned. “But I would be remiss in my maid-of-honor duties if I wasn’t checking to ensure you’re not getting sunburned.”

“That’s what this lovely umbrella is for,” Casey smiled.

“Yeah, but it helps if it’s opened,” Sienna chuckled as she twisted the lever.

Casey accepted the strawberry daiquiri, humming with delight as the sweet sensation enveloped her. “This is so good. You’re a lifesaver.”

“That’s what best friends are for! Now, relaxation is nice, but is there anything I can do for tomorrow?”

“Nope,” Casey replied confidently. “All under control.”

“OK, what about for the rehearsal tonight?”

“Under control, too.”

“Casey, I’ll admit, I don’t have much experience with weddings, but I’ve never seen a bride this relaxed the day before her wedding!”

“It’s just a wedding,” Casey shrugged. “Our mothers are happy driving themselves crazy over the details. I just have to show up for hair and makeup, put on my white dress, and smile. It’ll work out.”

She turned back to her book, unaware of the concerned look her friend had fixed on her. Finally, Sienna had to speak.

“Casey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Are you... happy?”

“Happy? Yeah... I’m happy.”

“Forgive me if I say that response isn’t terribly convincing.”

“Well, one doesn’t have to be gushing and oozing with delight to be happy, Si.”

“No, but it’s the day before your wedding, and maybe everyone isn’t a gushing, oozy kind of happy person, but... you always were.”

Casey closed her book and leaned back in the lounge chair. “If you have something to say, say it.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t. Do you want to get married?”

“Of course I do. Craig is a wonderful man, and he’s so good to me. We’re happy!”

“Happy... but not gushy and oozy happy.”

Casey removed her sunglasses and sat up to face her friend. “Who’s to say that’s for the best? I had gushing and over-the-top happiness. I know what it’s like. But what did it get me? It got me a broken heart. That amazing high dropped me into the lowest lows of my life. Days, months when I didn’t want to get out of bed...When I didn’t leave my house if not for work. And who got me out of that? Craig. He helped put me back together. And we are happy. No, it’s not all fireworks and rainbows, but those things aren’t real life. I’d rather live with reality.”

“Forgive me for saying this, Casey. But... I hope you’re not selling yourself short. I like Craig, I like him a lot, and I know he’s good to you, but you deserve the fireworks kind of love. And so does he. Settling isn’t going to do anyone....”

“I’m not settling! I love Craig; he loves me, and I’m not settling!”

“But are you in love with him?”

Casey looked directly at the pool without saying a word. She knew Sienna could see right through her when she lied, so she felt it wiser to say nothing. But Sienna wasn’t letting her off the hook.

“More importantly... are you in love with someone else?”

Casey’s neck flipped in Sienna’s direction with fire in her eyes.

“What are you insinuating?”

“I’m not insinuating. I’m asking. I’m not letting you say I do if your real answer is I’m not sure!”

“But I am sure!” Casey looked around to ensure no one could hear, then leaned closer to Sienna. “Fine! I’ll address the 800-pound gorilla in the room! Is my relationship the stuff of fairytales? Do I have moments when my heart practically stops beating because I love him so much? No. But real life isn’t a fairy tale. I had that kind of love, and I know how it feels. I was naïve enough to believe that if you find that, you would both do everything you can to never let it go. But you know what? I was wrong. Because I had it in my power to save it, and Tobias had it in his power, too. And guess what? Neither of us did. So what does that tell you?”

“It tells me you admitted you still love Tobias... but you’re not marrying him tomorrow.”

“You’re right. I’m not marrying him tomorrow, and I never would be.”

“So you’re settling.”

“NO! I’m not settling; I’m marrying someone I love and who loves me in return. Someone who wants the same things in life. Someone that I can build with and grow with, and that’s not a bad thing!”

“It’s not, but I feel like you’re selling me an insurance policy, not a reason to get married.”

Casey began to gather her belongings with a huff.

“You know what, if you disapprove of me marrying Craig and don’t want to stand up for me tomorrow, then don’t. But I’m marrying Craig tomorrow, and I wish it would be with my best friend by my side.”

“Hey, hey, hey...” Sienna grabbed Casey by the shoulders. “I’m not backing out. I’ll always stand beside you, no matter what. I just... I want to make sure you’re following your heart.”

“I’m following my head, Si. It’s always served me much better. I’m following my head, and my heart will follow. Now, please, can you try to be happy for me.”

“Sure,” Sienna said, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll try.”

~~~~~

Sightseeing on a scorching hot day was slightly more strenuous than Tobias & Meghan bargained for, and she had the splitting headache to prove it. As she lay in the room with a cool facecloth on her forehead, Tobias headed to the hotel’s gift shop to pick up some more ibuprofen. He had just taken his wallet out to pay when he felt a clap on his back.

“I was wondering when I’d finally run into you.”

“Craig,” Tobias blurted as he greeted the groom-to-be. “I was wondering where you’ve been. Is the hospital going to let you attend your own wedding?”

“They are now,” the handsome, dirty blonde man smiled. “As of this afternoon, I told them to pretend I was already on my honeymoon in Bali because I’m not answering my phone.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.”

Tobias liked Craig. At least he liked him as much as he could like the next man in Casey’s life. He didn’t want to. In fact, at first, he decided he wouldn’t. The first time he met him, he spent his entire drive to Raleigh listing all the reasons he wouldn’t like him. But Craig was so polite, friendly, welcoming... and he was good to Casey. What choice did he have?

He’d never forget the day he learned of existence. Casey called with the words he wasn’t prepared to hear. “...I didn’t want you to find out from someone else.” Tobias was sure his heart had stopped. He knew the day would come... someone like Casey wouldn’t remain single forever, but... this soon? Barely six months had passed... and he wasn’t prepared for how profound the pain would be. He tried convincing himself it was for the best, even when his visceral reaction was to book a flight to North Carolina and beg her for a second chance, to tell her he had made a horrible mistake.

He made a horrible mistake.

For the first time since they broke up, Tobias had been honest with himself. Now, he had to let her know. As Casey kept talking, he was thinking of the best way to tell her, but then, he heard the smile in her voice. It had been gone for so long. The end of their relationship had been punctuated with painful, tear-filled conversations; then abject heartbreak followed their choice. He almost forgot what it was like to hear her... happy. It killed him that another man was the cause, but who was he to take that from her? He hurt her enough already.

He tried to console himself. It’s just a boyfriend, a transitional one, at that. When they inevitably break up, I’ll be on the first flight to Raleigh to set this right. But a year later, Craig was on one knee, Casey was saying yes, and Tobias decided he’d have to learn to live with his heart cracked in two. He knew it would never heal, but he had to find a way to let go.

“Casey mentioned you wanted to shoot some hoops,” Craig's voice pulled Tobias from his thoughts. “The only time I’d have is tomorrow after breakfast...and it would be cutting it close.”

“You know what. Let’s do it next time we get together. My luck, you’d end up breaking something, and Casey would never forgive me.”

“What a notion!” Craig laughed.

“What?” Tobias laughed with a raised brow. “You breaking something?”

“No. Casey not forgiving you. In what world? You have to know my fiance would forgive you anything. But, I appreciate sparing me the broken bones.”

“Yeah, uh..” Tobias sputtered. “It’s your wedding day... hoops with me shouldn’t be on the schedule.”

“Nope, far more important things to tend.”

“You’re so right,” Tobias smiled wistfully. “I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thank you,” Craig said, extending his hand. “That means a lot.”

“Casey is a wonderful woman. Be good to her.”

“You can count on it,” Craig smiled.

To Tobias’s relief, a gaggle of groomsmen appeared out of nowhere and pulled Craig away. Tobias slipped into a waiting elevator, never so grateful to be alone, because one by one, the boulders in his wall of self-denial began to fall. He loved her, he loved her with all his heart... and he lost her... at this time tomorrow... she’d be another man’s wife. Life is full of mistakes; everyone makes them, but the most painful mistakes of all require us to live with a lifetime of regret. He felt the elevator walls closing in on him as his life sentence became clear; panic filled his chest, and he couldn’t breathe. His legs unable to sustain him, he fell to his knees, and for the first time in a long while, he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

And that’s how he ended up here. Lying in bed with the ceiling, his only friend. He couldn’t take anymore. He had to get out of the room, or he was sure he’d lose his mind. So he slipped out of bed and left a note for Meghan so she wouldn’t worry if she woke. The hotel’s bar closed hours ago, but the 24-hour liquor store was delivering a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. That and a lounge chair in the gardens would need to get him through the night.

He was a quarter bottle in with no idea how much time had passed. He had already bargained with God three times. Couldn’t He just turn time back a couple years? Was that asking too much? Apparently, it was, and he was still sober enough to know asking a fourth time wouldn’t change the outcome. Downing the rest of the bottle and sleeping for a week sounded ideal. Still, sanity won, reminding him alcohol poisoning wouldn’t help. His best bet was to return to his hotel room and try to get some sleep. He stood up with a curse on his lips; he turned around and gasped when he found her standing there. He rubbed his eyes to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“Hello, Tobias...” Casey whispered. “I’m glad I found you here.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @choicesjuly2023challenge - Sleepless Night

More Tags in Reblog.

#choices fanfic #open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #open heart choices #playchoices #choices the stories you play #tobias carrick x f!mc past #tobias carrick #tobias carrick x f!oc #oh!f!mc x m!oc #playchoices fanfic #writers on tumblr

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b-afterhours · 1 year ago

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Avenue of Sins (part ten)

SUMMARY: a story of two misfit kids from mid-west america making it big in the big apple. and in the true sense of the american dream they find themselves in a life of sex, money, drugs, and a little rock n roll too.

WARNINGS: adult content, mature readers only.

if you’re seeing this for the first time you can read part one here and if you need to catch up on previous chapters go here.

series playlist

Author's Note: It's been a long time and I apologize for that completely. I guess, there was a massive part of me that didn't want to let these characters go. But enough time has passed and it's finally time. If you choose to finish this little story of mine after all this time, thank you so much! Cheers. (An epilogue should follow shortly.)

Special thanks to @soohaaaleemeee for the encouragement ♡

_________________________________________________

Bill swayed, stumbling the same way he would when he met the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam, he caught his step after being pushed off center by Alma. Once on even footing he stood there, the sound of the slamming door in his face was still fresh, ringing in his ears along with the thumping bass of the DJ’s speakers. He lifted a booted foot from the floor for only a moment before setting it back down, straining against the need to go after Alma. To tell her he was sorry, but no. This was in his plan. He had been rehearsing this in his head for weeks and he had to perfectly execute the mental bullet list he had made for this very night. Once again, he plucked a cigarette from his diminishing pack and tossed it to the coffee table to his right. Lighting it, he looked out the floor-to-ceiling two-way mirrors toward the stage and saw a bare-chested Chastity lightly coming to her feet from a perfect spin around the pole. This was her last dance of the night meaning there were only a handful of dancers left with the night’s finale ending with Cooch. Taking a glance at his wristwatch he saw that there was still an hour and a half before the club closed. He felt his original plans changing as time felt it was closing in on him suddenly.

As he puffed away at his cigarette, he realized that he had to have Craig meet in his loft a bit before closing. He figured it’d be too weird to have him stay behind considering he wasn’t part of the group who stayed after hours. He didn’t think that part through enough. He had missed some finer details, dwelling too much on how to get Alma out of the picture. Although he was successful at getting rid of her, he was now stuck deliberating on how he could fix what he had done rather than the task at hand. She was right, right about a lot of things but he couldn’t admit to that. He imagined going back home alone, finding it empty, void of Alma’s presence that he loved being around so much. It pained him to think about but also he felt he deserved it. He couldn’t imagine she’d see him the same after their confrontation, much less be around someone who she thought didn’t love her.

He took a deep drag of his cigarette as he approached the cabinet near the back of the loft. That, not only housed his weathered leather moto jacket – of which he rummaged the inner pocket for a three-ounce bag – but also provided a cover for his secret cash safe. The three-ounce stash of cocaine was cut from the kilo Alvin had recently delivered two weeks earlier than usual to keep up with demand. Bringing it over to his desk and taking a seat he produced from a drawer the mirror tray Myrna would use to roll her joints on. He sliced the bag open with the switchblade he kept in his back pocket as the cigarette perched on his lips burned into the filter. The avalanche of white powder spilled onto the tray concealing his reflection in the mirror that frankly, he’d rather not face anyway. He tossed the cigarette onto the clean ground, leaving it to burn out on its own. Taking the razor blade that always accompanied the tray, he gave the powder a rough chop before dipping his switchblade in, inhaling several substantial bumps from the uncut supply. It was overkill even for a man his size but he wanted the laser focus only narcotics could give him.

The acrid taste of it dripped from his nasal passage down to his throat as he wiped his nose as he descended the stairs leading out the loft. Queenie waved at him as he approached the bar and without having been told to, she grabbed a glass, adding a perfect large crystalline square of ice inside, and poured his favorite bourbon in, a little over two fingers full.

“Good to see ya Boss,” she said to him as she neatly placed the glass above a white paper napkin and pushed it toward him.

“Everything going well?” He asked before she had the chance to move on to a paying customer.

“Yeah, like always! It’s pretty busy tonight, you know.” She was anxious to help assist Praline and Raven who were falling behind without Alma being around to help.

“I won’t hold you up,” Bill assured. “I just wanted to ask if you could lock up the register tonight? Echo wasn’t feeling well so we’re not bagging it in tonight. Could you do that for me?”

“Okay, Echo’s shown me once after that time she had that really bad flu last Winter. Is she sick? I hope not but I noticed she didn’t look too good since the other night.”

Bill nodded appreciatively, “Right, something like that. Thanks.” He tipped his glass to her before taking a hard swallow.

He sat there for a bit, drinking his bourbon and watching over the bar while not making it overtly obvious that he was scoping Craig out as the minutes ticked. He glanced at his watch again and frowned.

“Hey. Craig,” he said, catching him just before he ducked off into the store room. “I need to talk to you about the job.”

“Are you firing me?” He said jokingly, pointing at his chest.

“I got a beep from your Cousin Joey. He wants to talk to both of us.”

“Well shit,” he said, not thrilled with the news. Talking had a lot of meanings for the Russos. “Can I finish up?”

“Quick. We’ll go up to the loft together when you finish up,” he said, sliding his empty glass toward him to clean.

…

Alma was on the road with Rashad, her head hung low and cupped in her hands. She had been crying, sobbing, and blubbering previously and now she sat there embarrassed and foolish as she tried to catch her breath. Rashad tried his best to console her but wasn’t getting through so instead he turned the radio on to drown her out. She peered up a bit and saw she was close to being dropped off and sat up. The pit in her belly weighed heavily, unsure of what to do once she stepped through the threshold of her shared home with Bill. Was she really going to leave? What would Bill do if he came back home and she was there? She feared he would be mad but she knew he probably wouldn’t be. But she was so angry, she was certain that if she saw him again she could only imagine wanting to punch him for being a stubborn asshole.

She sniffed and wiped her nose with the inside of her halter dress smudging her dark red lipstick in the process. It was then she noticed her hands were stained with black mascara and liner liquefied by her tears. She quickly pulled the visor down and met her inky vacant eyes staring back at her in the mirror. Quickly, she tried to rub it away with the back of her hand slightly lessening the ghoulishness around her eyes. She sighed, even if her makeup were perfect she couldn’t imagine feeling any better about herself. Flipping the visor up, she turned her head down the road Rashad was supposed to turn.

“Hey,” she sniffled. “I’m back that way.”

Rashad just nodded looking forward, he turned his blinker on to satiate her for a moment before turning it off instead of taking the next right.

“What are you doing?”

“I was told to take you elsewhere,” he shrugged.

Alma shook her head baffled by his indifference and unable to comprehend what he meant. “Elsewhere? Who?”

He reached for the radio and turned the volume down. “Miss Echo,” he sighed. “I don’t want to be here either but Bill told me to take you out of the city for the night.”

“What the fuck!? Take me where Rashad?!”

“He just said to take the Lincoln Tunnel outta here and find a place to stay and that there’s cash in the glove compartment for it.”

Alma quickly opened the glove compartment in front of her where there was most certainly a handsome wad of cash inside. “What is he doing,” she mumbled to herself while pushing her hair out of her face. Her mind was racing trying to figure out Bill's mind and what exactly his plans truly were.

She turned her head to look out the back window, seeing that she was moving farther and farther away from where she needed to be. Bill had pushed her out and she knew better than to put herself back in his presence but something didn’t feel right. She reeled back in thought, surprised Bill had done such a wonderful job of involving her and yet kept her in the dark just enough to have all the control of the situation at hand. She didn’t think he would have the balls to run behind her back, it just wasn’t him to keep her in the dark. Yet she was in his car, having Rashad drive her to Jersey to stay at a random trucker motel overnight. He was creating an alibi for her to take whether she liked it or not. If shit went bad at Trigger Finger he could lie on her behalf and she wouldn’t be an accessory to his crimes. However, his belief that things could go wrong enough that he curated an out for her only served to further worry her.

“Stop!”

“Miss Echo I can’t,” Rashad said apologetically.

“Stop the car! Now!” She said leaning into his ear. “Rashad, I’m begging you! I’m begging you! Just stop the damn car!” She pleaded.

Rashad shook his head. He was an even-tempered man even with being part of a pack of cutthroat security, he never liked to put himself in the middle of trouble if he didn’t absolutely have to.

“Listen,” she said, sitting back in her seat trying to seem even-keeled. “I just want to go home and pack my shit. Bill and I, we got in a fight earlier and we’re done, okay? Just stop the car, tell him whatever you want about me when you bring the car back tomorrow. I don’t care. He knows how big of a bitch I am. He'll believe you. Just pull over, please...” she said, reaching her hand onto his gripping the steering wheel.

He finally peered at her, feeling sorry for her. Loosening his grip from the steering wheel he took in a deep breath and pulled over to the curb once he was given the chance.

Alma was practically scrambling out of her seat once he did. “Thank you! Just do as he said and go. If you turn around now, he’ll come looking for me. I need a little time to get my shit straight at home.”

“Fine. Right, okay,” he said defeated yet inside he was grateful to be out from between whatever lovers spat Bill and Alma had going on.

“You’re a good man, Rashad.”

She closed the door behind her and Rashad made his way to New Jersey without her. Jogging across the street, it took a few cabs whizzing past her to finally find one willing to stop. The cabbie asked her for directions and when she mentioned Trigger Finger, he grimaced and turned his head around to take a look at the patron he had boarded on and turned around shaking his head disapprovingly.

…

In the loft Craig sat on the other side of Bill at his desk, the fluorescent lights above them humming and although Bill was dealing with the phone he couldn’t take his eyes off the mound of coke on the tray in front of his boss. What he didn’t know was that Bill wasn’t dialing his cousin’s number but his house phone, leaving a phony message for the answering machine.

“He should get back to us,” Bill told Craig as he hung up.

“You have any idea what he wanted?”

Bill dug around in his drawer for a stray pack of smokes and shrugged. “Nope, you know your cousins. You’ve been paying them right? Your earnings from barbacking here?” He said, lighting his cigarette.

Craig watched wondering if he’d offer him a smoke but he didn’t. “I mean, yeah of course but it’s only gonna take me a damn life time man.”

“Right,” he said, taking a deep drag before huffing the smoke through his nose.

Craig could tell he was tense about something as he watched him close his eyes and rub the bridge of his nose. He saw how Alma bolted out of the loft and out the back entry of the club, he figured they had some kind of fight. He squirmed in his seat hoping his cousin would call back quickly, he didn’t want to be alone with Bill for any longer than he had to.

“Don’t ask me for any blow unless you’re paying,” Bill said to him.

Craig hadn’t noticed that he was staring at the mound of powder in deep thought until Bill spoke.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing just hoping my cousin doesn’t bitch me out once he calls.”

“Mhmm.”

There was an uncomfortable air of tension slowly filling the room that Craig couldn’t explain. Everything in his gut was telling him to get out of the loft but he felt glued to his seat at the same time.

“Since we’re here we should kill some time right?” Bill began. “Earlier, I saw something I didn’t really like and I just want to know what you said to my girl?”

“What? Bill, I-”

“Now you don’t have to lie to me. I remember the things Kansas told me you said to her and I’m just praying to God you didn’t say some shit like that to Alma.”

“Bill, you’re her man you’ve got to know the things we-”

Bill raised his brow, “We?”

“C’mon man, you know her better than anyone. You know how she can be?” Craig began to nervously bounce his knee hoping the phone would ring.

Bill looked away, taking a drag again trying to keep himself from exploding angrily. He shook his head, stamping out the rest of the cigarette on his desk, and stood up.

“It was probably my fuckin’ fault right?” Bill said to himself as he walked around his desk and slipped his hands in his trouser pockets. Craig pushed away from the desk worried for a moment before Bill leaned on the corner beside him. “But I gave you fuckin’ rules when you first started here. I don’t give a fuck about how Alma ‘can be’ and if you say some shit like that about her I-”

“Dude, alright I don’t want any problems okay… But I don’t think you being this angry is fair. You’ve been all over my girl before she fucked off out of my life ‘cause of you! Only fair if I got a piece off your –'' He had hardly got the words out when suddenly he felt a fist hit the side of his head. “Yo! What the FUCK!?”

Reacting he lunged from his chair tackling Bill down from the waist causing him to hit his head on the floor. He was stunned and pissed that the punch that he delivered was not one of his best. Trying to blink his vision back into focus he felt Craig connect a punch to his chin. A fistfight wasn’t in his plans but now Craig suddenly had the upper hand.

…

“Sir? Could you go a little faster? I have some business to handle,” she said to the cabbie as she anxiously patted around her bra for the little baggie of coke she knew she had.

“Almost, almost.” The man muttered.

She found her baggy, frowning at how little powder was in the bag. She carefully ripped the bag along its seams until it was just a flat piece of thin pink plastic and hastily dipped her nose in snorting all that was left before popping the plastic in her mouth to get all she could from it.

“Hey! Don’t do that junkie shit in my car!” The cabbie said to her with furious eyes looking at her in the rearview mirror.

“Relax man! It’s not dope,” she said with a tingling, numb tongue throwing the plastic out the cracked window and noticing the familiar buildings close to her destination. “Could you go a little faster will you?”

“I don’t care what the hell it is!” He continued.

“Stop right here then, you dick!” She said being able to see the cross streets she needed him to turn to. “I can walk faster than how you’re fucking driving!”

Before he could tell her that she must pay the fare before getting out, dollar bills were hastily thrown through the partition window. The cabbie was more than happy to get the junkie girl he had taken a chance on out of his car. He watched her stop in front of his car judging the traffic before running across miraculously making it safely. He shook his head, she looked about the same age as his daughter who was in law school. As he drove on he decided to retire for the night and said a silent prayer for the lost girl.

…

The friction of her heels rubbing on the soft skin of her foot stung as she booked it down the block to Trigger Finger but she didn’t stop. It felt like she couldn’t if she tried, her adrenaline was pumping but the fear pitted in her stomach was still there. She had no clue of what time it was exactly but there were hardly any cars on the block it seemed. Close to the doors, she heard a voice halting her steps and startling her.

It was Cooch. She watched Alma standing at the club's entrance out of breath disheveled like she’d never seen her before, not even after one of her benders. She opened her mouth to ask her if she was okay but the club doors opened behind her and when Alma spun around she noticed the skin on the back of her heels was bleeding. Theo had walked out to lock up, surprise on his face meeting Alma outside.

“I’ll lock up Theo.” Cooch heard Alma say walking passed him.

“Hey,” Theo said to her softly. “I’ll be back later alright.”

Alma nodded, locking the doors behind her and taking a few breaths leaning against the door and kicking her heels off. The muscles of her feet ached as they came flat to the ground. She looked up towards the loft, bracing herself for just a moment before jogging across the establishment and up the stairs to Bill's loft office. She felt dread as she approached, a sick feeling in her stomach she nearly hesitated to turn the knob until she heard a commotion inside.

She was blinded by the bright fluorescent lighting, blinking a moment to adjust her eyes and she finally saw Craig on top of Bill on the ground. He had a hold of Bill's wrist trying to get his grip loosened away from the gun he was holding.

“Get the fuck off him!” Alma screamed.

The men paused for a moment, becoming fully aware that they had company. Distracted and confused as to why Alma was back, Bill took a punch square in the nose and the image of Alma went to black. Quickly, Craig was on his feet taking the opportunity to kick the gun out of Bill’s hand. It slid to the wall opposite of them bouncing slightly off the wall and near Alma now. She looked at Craig who was inching towards her and looked down at the gun.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said to her. His lip was fat and his eye was blackening underneath his dark lashes. “What the fuck is going on?!”

Alma stepped back only to feel the coldness of the window behind her and nowhere to go. She glanced at the gun again and back to Craig’s glaring, stern eyes. He was going to hurt her that much she could tell and suddenly her body reacted and as she lunged for the gun he caught her by just a grip of her hair, snapping her head back and into his presence. Up close, his eyes were full of rage and then she knew for certain that he was going to kill her, or worse...

“You got your fuckin’ deadbeat boyfriend to kick my ass, huh?” He said cradling her cheek with his free hand. “Why didn’t you tell him how good I made you feel instead, huh?”

Alma struggled against him and in doing so she was able to get a look past him only to see that Bill was still unconscious on the floor.

“Let go of me,” she bit back.

“Shh,” he said, sliding his hand from her cheek to her neck. “We don’t want to wake him from his little nap now do we?”

She felt a sick chill run up her spine. His eyes were darkened and unreadable but his touch, although rough, felt more unpredictable. His hand slid down her neck and before he could touch her breasts, she kicked his knee in. As he buckled he took her down with him. His grip on the back of her neck never lessened and he managed to turn causing her to take his fall instead. The wind knocked out of her. Under his weight she tried to kick herself from under him, her arms reaching above her head, hands sweeping the floor hoping the gun she tried to dodge for was close by. Craig grabbed at them restraining her arms to her side where he strongly held them in with one of his knees pinning her left hand to the floor. She screamed from the pain of his weight on them.

“Were you gonna shoot me?” Craig darkly chuckled as his flat palm struck her cheek.

Alma’s right ear rang from the strike. She kicked her legs again to get out from under him, her hips lifting from the ground as she did so with more force.

“Just get the fuck off me,” she said through he teeth.

“Or what? I got you both where I want you, especially you,” he said ducking down towards her ear. She felt sick feeling his breath on her ear and lips grazing her jaw.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her legs to kick with more strength. She planted a sore foot on the ground pushing off as hard as she could to slip her body forward enough to get her right hand free while trapped between his knees. She immediately went to jab at his enraged hazel eyes causing him to ease his grip over her body to block her blow long enough that she was able to twist her body around. With her elbows, she pulled her body forward once again stretching out an arm, straining against the weight of Craig on her legs for the gun just feet away. She felt his fingers raking harshly through her scalp before he grasped her hair again, yanking her head back brutally. Quickly, she brought her hands to her face before he could smash her head on the floor, yet her nose left unprotected crunched when it met the epoxy floor. He grunted in frustration, yanking her head back once again and placing his free hand on her throat, squeezing. Alma brought her hands to the one blocking her lungs from catching a breath scratching and digging her nails into the flesh of his hand but he gripped harder. She felt her eyes bulge, speckles of black danced around in her vision as she choked.

She could feel her body, once boosted on adrenaline and a sorry bump from her depleted coke baggie, weaken. Her subconscious screaming at her for being foolish, how she could have avoided all of this had she listened for once. Tears escaped her eyes knowing she was meeting her end when suddenly the pressure from her throat released. Her lungs expanded violently seeking oxygen causing her to choke further until they found their rhythm again. Through blurred vision, she could see Bill’s figure connecting fists with Craig. Taking the opportunity, using her hands as a guide she sought for the gun again. The gun came to focus as soon as it was in her hand but the burden of welding it didn’t settle upon her until it was there. She turned towards the fighting men right next to her, who stumbled on their footing by her legs. In a panic her finger hit the trigger, her arm recoiled and sent a bullet through the couch and disappeared into a wall. Everyone in the loft froze, stunned by the noise of the blast.

While he had the chance Bill locked his arm around Craig’s neck, choking him in his rage. Over his disappointment that he couldn’t even kill a man right. That Alma almost died if he hadn’t awoken from his stupor. He gripped tighter on Craig's neck feeling his body weaken. He followed his body down once Craig’s knees gave out, yet still holding on to him. Once Craig’s hands gave up prying his arm off, Bill held him for a moment before pushing his body away, making a loud thump.

On his knees, Bill took a few breaths to collect himself before turning to Alma. She had her hands still covering her ears from the blast of the gun. She looked disoriented, unsure of her own body or surroundings until she felt Bill put his hands under her arms to lift her with the little strength he had left.

“Why?” He said to her, “I didn’t want this to happen.” He frowned looking at the state of her face, a bloody nose and liner smudged under bloodshot eyes that he knew would soon blacken like his.

“He was going to kill you,” her voice rasped. “I had to.”

Bill took a deep breath before reaching down to the ground beside her and picked his gun up. From the very beginning, he should have just shot Craig when he had the chance and avoided all this mess but his jealousy got in the way. He cocked the gun but Alma held on to his arm before he raised it.

“Is he dead,” she asked. “Could you check?”

Bill gulped, swallowing nothing from his dry mouth, and took a few strides toward the body in the center of the room. Kneeling, he put his fingers to his neck checking for a pulse. Nothing. He then put them near Craig’s nose to see if he could feel the heat of an exhale. Nothing.

“It’s done,” he turned to her.

With glassy eyes she stood, holding herself, and nodded. “No gun. No mess.”

…

The Next Evening

Bill awoke to a terrible nightmare, only he wished it was only that. The image of him and Alma wrapping Craig’s cumbersome body in trash bags jolted his sore bruised body up. He didn’t know how he had even managed to have fallen asleep after what had happened. He blinked his eyes a few times and noticed he had passed out on the living room floor of his apartment. He turned his throbbing head to meet Alma’s reddened eyes. Had she gone to bed? He wondered. She looked nearly catatonic with how she sat beside him with her knees to her chest.

“How long?” He wondered how long he had been asleep. His voice was raspy and deeper when he spoke.

“A few hours I guess,” she could only harshly whisper after having been choked out within an inch of her life.

“You sleep?” He frowned when she simply shook her head.

Alma couldn’t get the thought of how they dragged Craig's body to the back door and out in the damp alley where Joey Russo awaited with heavily muscled lackeys who effortlessly picked up the plastic-covered body and tossed it into the trunk of a nondescript car. The sound of his body thudding in particular bothered her. And yet she felt he deserved it in some way but that still didn’t make her feel good about any of it. She watched Bill and Joey shake hands and exchange some words but couldn’t make out anything that was said. All she thought about was maybe she deserved to be in the trunk too.

Though it was slow and arduous they both found themselves in the bathroom taking warm wet washcloths to their faces. Lightly dabbing away the dried and dark crusted blood under their noses. Bill examined his face in the mirror, his nose looked swollen and his right eye was soon to join it. Bill watched Alma in the mirror in front of him and how her eyes watered in frustration as she struggled to even touch her sore face and how her left hand could hardly grasp the cloth.

“I’ll help you,” he said, taking the cloth and running it under the warm water again before taking a corner and lightly pressing it to her nostril. “Sorry,” he said when she winced. “I-I’m so fucking sorry for what happened.” He choked back the lump forming in his throat.

Alma wanted to speak but even that was too hard for her. So she reached her good hand to touch his cheek gently.

“I didn’t mean anything that I said before… before you know. I swear.” His eyes began to water. “I tried to keep you safe.”

“I know…” She was able to muster. “I know.”

“I can’t believe he did this to you…” He said tears falling from his eyes. “You weren’t supposed to be there....” He sniffled.

In the beginning, Bill had his doubts about killing Craig he even was a bit remorseful after seeing his body thrown in a car trunk like a sack of shit but right now looking at what he did to Alma, his death felt justified. Her beautiful face was hidden under a veil of black and blue. If he had the energy to be angry he would be.

“I love you.” He said, kissing her forehead. “You know? I really do.” He wanted her to believe it, that he wasn't just saying so because he felt pity for her current state.

Alma blinked back tears and wiped away one of his own with her thumb. The dampness against the dried blood on his cheek streaked together in the motion.

“I know…”

#my bill writings #bill skarsgard #avenue of sins

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marimeiastories · 1 year ago

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Seven books about mental health

I want to share positive books, which talk about improvement and positive outcomes, hoping that these books can bring you comfort.

1. It’s Kind of a Funny story by Ned Vizzini

Craig is a 16-year-old teenager who struggles with depression and anxiety. Because of this, he decides to be admitted in the psychiatric ward of his neighbourhood, and there he meets people and lives situations which will make him think more positively about the future.

This is a hilarious book full of fun interchanges between the patients of the ward, but it also touches deep topics, like depression related effects and stories of people who are trying their best to get better, in a down to earth matter. It was made into movie, which I recommend too.

2. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Eleanor is a middle aged woman who is used to be alone and does not seek company, as she knows that the moment she will create meaningful connections it will be the moment in which she will get hurt. She frequently talks with her mum, altough the latter treats her coldly and constantly judges Eleanor’s actions and beliefs.

This is a novel about a person who numbed her emotions after going through trauma. It talks about post-traumatic stress disorder and the inheritance of creating meaningful connections despite the uneasiness felt in doing it.

3. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

A book in which the author writes abour his own approach to his suffering from depression and anxiety. Through his journey he gathered some reasons for which it is worth to live in spite of a mental health condition, and he writes them in this book to invite others to reflect and help them in their own journey.

4. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Although in this book there’s no mental health condition specified, this is a real story of a person who mentally hit rock bottom after a divorce and picked herself up. The author opens up completely about days spent crying, her seeing no happy future for herself. Through a journey that will take her through three countries, she finds herself again. There is also a movie on this, but, in my opinion, it does not reflect the depth of the book.

5. The Choice by Edith Eger

This is my absolute favourite. Edith Eger is one of the survivors of the Holocaust, and she tells the story of how her childhood was stolen by being deported in a concentration camp. But the book does not stop here, and Edith goes on describing her recovery from the traumatic experience and her willingness to become useful to others in the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder. She describes how she saw hell and from it she learnt how to use her pain to serve others by becoming a psychologist. She’s a great, inspirational woman.

TW: being the Holocaust the subject of this book, the story contains some crude scenes.

Have a look at Edith Eger website:

6. The girl who dated herself by Susannah Shakespeare

This is a novel about a girl who learns to love herself after a breakup. After the separation, she realises she never loved herself the way she deserved and starts doing things alone, from going to the cinema to having a fancy dinner.

This is a book about self-love and how it is good and healthy to want to spend some time alone.

7. The curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon

This is a novel about a boy on the spectrum of autism and how he deals with it through seeing the world as a mathematical problem that needs to be solved. In the story, he finds himself involved in a mystery to solve, which starts with a dog found dead in the neighbour’s garden.

This book describes well the struggles of someone with autism and how their vision of the world is different, but this doesn’t mean worse.

Please let me know if you have any book recommendation for me, I'd love to hear your suggestions!

Marimeia :)

#mental health blog #mental health #positive mental attitude #healing #self care #book review #bookshelf #books #bookblr #bookish #books recommendations #book reccs #book recommendations

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everythingwasnormalhere · 7 months ago

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am i the only one looking for craig/creek angst fanart where craig specifically is the one who's having a bad time? like, idk,, him crying or something, i just only see creek angst with tweek being the one who's hurt and i think craig deserves some pain too ;-;

#this is part of an underlying issue with how gay couples and mental health are portrayed but im not talking about that today #i just wanna see craig crying and tweek comforting him man its not that hard #both boys deserve to suffer not just the “weak” anxious wreck ;-;#south park #craig tucker #tweek tweak #sp creek

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casspurrjoybell-27 · 6 months ago

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In a Heartbeat - Chapter 15 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

Vince

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

Micheal brushed it off though, replying...

"Honestly, I don't know why I even try. You and father both, I swear you just crave power too much. I should just put Simon out of his misery, save him the torment and pain. Maybe then you'll get it through your thick skull that the bond is a precious thing that shouldn't be broken..."

"What about father?" I interrupted.

"And me following in his footsteps?"

"Honestly you're more of a fool then I take you for. David and I had nothing to do with father losing his mind. The bond killed him, Vince."

He rolled his eyes.

"Mother wasn't his actual mate, he had a male mate like the rest of us."

My legs felt like jelly at the news.

If it hadn't been for Xavier next to me, my knees probably would have given out.

That couldn't be true, he scorned Michael, threatened me.

To think he had a bond with anyone other than our mother was terrifying.

"Now, as I was saying," he sighed.

"If you won't fucking treat Simon with just an ounce of respect, I might just have to put him out of his misery. Maybe it'll teach you a good lesson going through a severed bond."

"Michael..."

"Vince," he mocked before warning seriously.

"Protect him with your life. If you have the slightest shred of decency, you would protect him not just to protect the bond but the pack and your sanity. At least give him that. Prove to me that you're better than father, that you earned the alpha title for a reason, brother. If you can prove to me that you are willing to at least try to salvage the bond, then maybe I won't try to rip the alpha role from you because goddess knows that you don't fucking deserve it."

I almost wanted to argue but I bit my tongue.

The truth was if I were to fight Michael in our wolf forms, I probably would lose given how difficult shifting was.

So as much as I wanted to spit at him or punch him in his smug face, I held back, knowing if he really did fight me for the role, there was a chance he could take it from me and that honestly scared me more than the stupid severed bond threat he made.

"What do you say, brother dear?"

He raised his brows.

"Fine," I spat.

"I'll make sure he's still alive but don't think I'll just let him back into the pack or anything."

Making a deal with Michael seemed like a disaster waiting to happen but I held back, hoping that this wouldn't be a complete train-wreck.

"And Xavier," Michael called out.

"Keep your brother in check, even though you're younger, you turned out better than him already. I'm glad one of us turned out sane."

Xavier huffed, before leaving to get some Betas to escort Micheal out.

We seemed to stare at each other in silence for minutes, even though it was only a few seconds for Xavier to grab some RC Betas that were stationed nearby.

Once Michael was officially out of pack territory, Xavier turned to look at me, a mix of worry and confusion on his face.

Craig and Dwaine had resumed their normal duties, as Lucas joined Xavier and me staring out into the forest that Michael walked back into.

They looked back at me, wondering what next and bit my lip.

I sighed, looking at them for a moment before announcing.

"I'll put you two in charge of watching Simon."

Lucas nearly snapped his neck to look at me with a strange look.

I informed him about the deal with Michael, before explaining further.

"Nothing serious, just watch him from afar, I guess. I don't want him to expect anything out of this but if Simon gets hurt or killed, Michael will be out for blood, mine specifically. Not that I can't handle my brother but it's best we don't try risking it."

Lucas seemed confused, which was understandable but Lucas had been there to witness when I kicked Simon out, one of the only Betas who knew the truth about what happened and it was just easier, given where his loyalties lie.

"You guys can take turns or whatever, you can decide on your own but don't make it obvious," I elaborated.

"I can't risk anyone finding out about him."

Xavier gave me a pointed look but I shrugged it off, suddenly craving a nice round of beers.

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rauthschild · 7 months ago

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Black Soldiers Wake Up......

It's no secret that the Evil Ones experiment on you and risk your health, and think that that is their right to do, while you are "in service" --- meaning, indentured servitude.

After all, you have a time slot wherein you are obligated to serve called a Tour of Duty, and during that time, you have no Constitutional Guarantees or protections at all.

But they never tell you that, do they?

(You won't have any protections afterward, either, if you don't write to your branch commander telling them that you have returned "home" to your original birthright political status once you have your DD214.)

During that time, your Tour of Duty, you are considered to be owned as property by your Masters and whatever they want you to do is what you have to do --- or die trying.

If they want to open your veins and contaminate your blood with experimental drugs and foreign untested biological materials, they think they have the right to order you to do it to yourself.

Are you going to tell them that the right to experiment on you didn't come with your employment contract?

The initial reports have come out about Excess Deaths and Disease Incidence in the American Military thanks to being subourned to take the experimental Covid shots.

Brief Analysis of DMED Data (2021): Excess Symptoms in U.S Military Personnel Since Rollout of Covid Shots.

Almost 40% have suffered neurological injuries, and 5% have been taken out with cancer or cardiac issues.

Cancer ~ Excess = 74,000

Nervous ~ Excess = 780,000

Cardiovascular ~Excess = 87,943

Infertility and Reproductive Dysfunction ~Excess =12,124

RESULTS

Excess cancer alone affected 3.5% of the entire military population.

Excess diseases of the nervous system affected 37% of the entire military population.

Excess cardiac and blood disorders affected 4.1% of the entire military population.

It is conservative to say that 5% of the entire military force has just been taken out by cancer and cardiac alone.

Up to 30+% have been weakened by nervous system diseases – the majority of which involve destruction of the myelin sheath surrounding nerve fibers- Craig Paardekooper.

Source: hchildcovidvaccineinjuriesuk

Three-quarters of a million military service members are suffering from the degradation of the myelin sheath surrounding their nerve fibers. That's an "excess" number.

They were, in effect, used as Lab Rats and damaged by their own excuse for a government; they will most likely live the rest of their shortened and miserable lives in horrendous pain.

That happened on Mr. Trump's watch. Right under his big, beaky nose and with his approval. And it continued under Biden, too.

They are both guilty as sin and deserve to be hung as traitors for this. And if they were misinformed and ill-advised, as some people believe, then the men and women who lied to the politicians need to be strung up, instead.

Someone needs to pay for this. Big time.

Remember how the U.S. Congress gave the pharmaceutical companies carte blanche to produce "vaccines" and suffer no accountability for what went into those vaccines?

What you might not remember is that the U.S. Congress accepted the liability for those big pharmaceutical companies. Congress, Inc., is on the hook for it, and since they opted to descend to the level of an incorporated entity, you can sue not only the Congress, Incorporated, you can sue each and every one of their Officers.

They have no state immunity. They have no public oath and no public bond. They are just shills in suits, operating two foreign, for-profit corporations in the business of providing "essential government services".

That doesn't include messing with your health or any other aspect of your private life.

Imagine a town of almost 75,000 people stricken with "excess" cancers?

These numbers boggle the brain, and this is just the members of the military betrayed by these buffoons.

It doesn't count the civilian losses.

I just sent a letter to Ben Fulford, and I am hoping for an answer. It basically asks:

How is it possible that the whole world is being held hostage and abused by a handful of Old White Men?

Given the known scope and immensity of their crimes --- IF there are really any Dragon Societies or organized White Hats out there --- why are people like Klaus Schwab and the Rothschild bankers and Justin Trudeau still walking around?

Why aren't they simply gone?

The Sicilian Mafia, all by itself, could do a far better job cleaning up this mess, than the entirety of our police, military, and security apparatus. And faster, too.

Why aren't all the law enforcement and peacekeeping forces, all the worthless "intelligence agencies" doing the job that the General Public pays for?

At the very least, they all deserve to be fired and off our payroll, not eligible for rehire.

Why haven't all the top CEOs of all these pharmaceutical companies and the members of the U.S. Congress responsible for this, been arrested, tried, and hung?

This is what is called for. This is what the Public Law requires.

The members of these "Congresses" went into business for themselves, acted in Breach of Trust, and in violation of their Service Contracts. They have no Oaths of Public Office. No Public Bonds. They've committed Crimes of State, here and all over the world.

What more are the "Good Guys" waiting for? A blessing from Father Christmas?

Why aren't the managers of the SEC and DTTC who are in receipt of "securities" representing "deposits" of impersonated living flesh (inflicting both peonage and slavery on the American people) in a dungeon somewhere, awaiting execution?

Both peonage and slavery have been outlawed worldwide since 1926. Why in the name of God are we still dealing with these crimes against humanity and those promoting it?

Why hasn't SERCO been taken out? They and the phony Federal Reserve and JPMorgan and Chase Bank are the ones paying for all these "services".

I certainly didn't authorize it.

None of the actual owners of the actual assets on deposit with any of the central banks authorized any of this, and we didn't authorize any federal subcontractors to impersonate us or commit crimes against us, either.

We have a million service members who are now the Walking Dead.

It's the borders of the District of Columbia that need to be erased. Not the borders of Texas.

It's the District of Columbia that's the Rogue State festering in America, a Rogue State in league with the similarly criminal Government of Westminster.

It's the Brits, again, still and always.

British elitism. British Caste System. British Raj replicated like a disease. British lies. British meddling. British divide and conquer schemes. British control of the media. British eugenists. British guile and deceit. British propaganda.

So, let's get down to it and finish what should have been finished a long time ago.

#blacklivesmatter #blackvotersmatters #donald trump #joe biden #naacp #ados #blackmediamatters #blackvotersmatter #news #youtube

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troublcmakcrs · 1 year ago

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▸ @troublewithvampires ⟶ ❛ Tucks (my muse) into bed after along day. //give me vampire stepdad tucking his kiddo in. or else. 🔪 (first thought was with craig ofc but i'd also be very down for tweek if you'd rather give him a lil love) ❜ ╱ ( detailed action , accepting . )

Craig’s countenance was haggard, withered. It hurt to move it at all with the stitches in his left lip, cheek, eyebrow. It pained him to smile and to sob, and it was a blessing that his pain medication left him with no energy for either. Exhaustion carved deep lines in his face, all of his features victims of gravity, his eyelids drooping, the corners of his mouth downturned, dark eyebrows hanging over sockets like dismal awnings thrown over a rained-on porch an hour too late. All of that combined with the way he kept his fingers in the crook of Sal’s arm, hunched over as the vampire guided him through slow, shaky steps up the stairs, lent itself to the appearance of someone much older than fifteen.

In a way, it was good to be home, but mostly, it changed little. He had still failed, and his return home was that of a wounded soldier who had been fighting the war on the wrong side of history. But there was some solace in being out of the hospital, no longer having to wile away the hours thinking about how the one he arrived with was discharged AMA before he even woke up. The familiarity of the sheets as Sal drew them up around him was a shitty compensation prize, all things considered, but Craig would take what he could get.

He had failed, and he didn’t deserve good things, but he wanted them, he wanted them more than anything. That train of thought choked him up again, and he squeezed his eyes shut, and a lone tear escaped to roll over the coils of black thread in his cheek. He thought he felt a rough hand glide through his hair, but he might have been imagining things. He barely remembered being at the bottom of the stairs a moment ago.

“Sal?” he squeaked out, prying his eyes open to find more ceiling than man. “Sal? I don’t want you to say you told me so, okay?” It hurt to talk, too, and his voice was rough and slurred through the haze of sleep, even though he had already slept for the past dozen hours. “Or maybe, I do… I don’t know.” He shook his head as he started to slip again. “I don’t know… It’s over, isn’t it?”

It was over, and he didn’t know anything. The most miserable, awful, shit-ass era of his life was over, and all he felt now was miserable and awful and shit-ass.

#ic :: ( craig )#int :: ( answered )#ver :: teen ( craig )#troublewithvampires #//WHOOPS RUINS UR FLUFF MEME X2 COMBO #//in my own defense it did say ''after a long day''#//so really you deserve this LKFJDSKF

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aadagio · 1 year ago

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Barbenheimer actually wound up being a lot of fun on Friday, despite everything. My neck is still in a lot of pain, and I'm still not 100% sure when that will go away or what I'm going to do about it. I am still extremely stressed and anxious, but I'm trying my best. Craig said I deserve to enjoy things, so I tried and I mostly think I succeeded.

I had originally planned to wear something cute to the movies, despite not having any pink, but when I woke up on Friday I just was not feeling it at all. I just wore jeans and a T-shirt, but I added this zombie Barbie jewelry set I've had for about 12 years now. It's a bloody, dismembered Barbie face set into a pendant necklace, as well as two bloodied and severed Barbie arms fashioned into earrings. They're my favorite pair in the world, and I was glad to give them the perfect time to shine.

We started the day by going to Cinemark to see Oppenheimer at 2 pm. I wasn't feeling that great going in, and ever since Tuesday loud noises have really been jarring for me, so I was feeling nervous about what we were about to see. And it was fucking LOUD. The sound, while incredibly edited and engineered, was definitely hard for me to get through, but overall the movie was so incredible that I really did enjoy the experience of seeing a 3-hour epic like that.

After we got out, my sister drove us all over to the mall where we ate at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and I had some lackluster nachos (reminder for myself to never order those again). My head and neck were really hurting at that point, and I was starting to feel fatigued, but I took some Tylenol and pushed through because I knew we had Barbie next and I was so looking forward to that.

After dinner, we walked around the mall for awhile, stopping in Claire's and Spencer's to window shop. Our showtime for Barbie was 8:45, so around 8:30, Craig called an Uber back home and me and Julia waited outside for my friend Heather to join us at the AMC connected to the mall.

We weren't able to take any photos or anything beforehand, since the theater lobby was so packed, so we just headed straight into our showing. It was a smaller theater than what we'd been in for Oppenheimer, but it was packed with people wearing pink outfits. When the Nicole Kidman ad started playing, me and Julia began quietly quoting it along with her, and other people in the audience heard us and either laughed or joined in with us, and the whole theater clapped once it was done playing, which made me feel like I was in great company.

The movie itself was hilarious, incredible, and surprisingly emotional. I never wanted to tear my eyes away from the screen for a single second, even though I inevitably did to look over at Heather or Julia and see their reactions too. It was such a fun one to see with a packed audience - everyone was laughing, clapping and reacting to the in-jokes and quippy moments. Once we got out we found the Barbie Box and the movie poster and took a bunch of photos that didn't turn out super well, but were still fun to take.

Heather wound up giving me a ride home afterward, and we spent the whole drive just reminiscing about our favorite childhood Barbies and dolls in general, and how much we wish we could still play with them.

I was completely exhausted by the time I got home, and I've been exhausted in general this weekend. Just sleeping a ton. I feel like it's all just been catching up to me or something. I have no idea what this week is going to bring, and to be honest I really don't want to think about it. I just want to escape into Barbie movie memes and shitposts, so I guess I'm just going to reblog a bunch of those now until I fall asleep.

#personal #Adventures In Real Life

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casspurrjoybell-18 · 2 years ago

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Mutual Desire - Chapter 17

*Warning - Adult Content*

In the end, Damien Clark decided to not mention a word to Nick regarding the software.

Surprisingly enough, Damien was able to keep his mouth shut even when Nick had ordered a bottle of wine that both men finished.

And a little bit of alcohol in his blood was enough to relax Damien and provide him with the courage to say things he wouldn't have the strength to usually say.

But even so, Damien couldn't do it.

It was as if his lips were completely sealed when he would go on to confess.

He had neither the courage nor the urge to tell the ugly truth to his best friend.

He couldn't.

It would kill him to be the one to do it, to see that pained expression of crushing disappointment on Nick's face.

There had to be another solution.

Damien intended on changing Alexander Nabokov's mind regardless if he had to put his pride aside. He had to.

"Oh. I'm full. I'll finally be able to shit properly today," Nick said, stretching, after getting out of his car.

When he got out of the car, Damien noticed that the underground parking was almost empty.

Half of the cars that were there when he parked at the beginning of the afternoon had disappeared.

"I'm heading back to the office. I have some things to finish," Nick added while walking towards Damien.

Damien glared furiously at his best friend. He was going to murder him.

"If you knew you'd be going back to your office, why didn't we take my car instead of yours, so I'd drop you at the entrance without having to come here?"

A grin appeared on Nick's face.

"Do you really think I'd get into your car that has gear problems? I love you, Dam, but you won't bring me to your grave."

Damien rolled his eyes.

What did he do to deserve a friend like Nick?

"You know what. I don't like you at all."

Nick's smile grew.

"I know that's not true since I'm the one that turned you gay, because I'm just too hot and you seem to clearly have erotic dreams about me."

"The only erotic dreams I have of you are several elephants giving it to you doggy-style."

"Well, these dreams of yours are actually sexual repressions, because you imagine yourself at the elephants' place."

"I swear Nicolas, if you don't get the fuck." Nick laughed hysterically.

His jovial mood echoed throughout the parking lot.

Nick walked to a doorway while continuing to laugh loudly.

He finally disappeared from Damien's vision.

When Damien got into his car, he received a SMS from Craig at the same time.

[Where are you baby?]

Damien's mind froze for a moment, unsure of what to reply.

The truth didn't seem to be the suitable solution.

Craig, not appreciating Nick so much, wouldn't be happy with their time together today and there was a chance it would result to an argument between them.

And Damien didn't want to take that chance especially after they had just recently made up after a fight concerning Nick.

[At the garage. I'm coming back now.]

As soon as Damien sent the message, he regretted it bitterly.

He had never lied to Craig before and the fact that he had just done it for something so trivial was completely ridiculous and stupid on his part.

Impulsiveness was a horrible thing sometimes.

[I made dinner, hurry up home. I want you.]

Even though he had just lie for the first time in their relationship, Damien couldn't help but smile at Craig's message.

But after the love message he had just received from Craig, regrets returned in more intense ways.

He felt horribly bad.

[On my way babe.]

Damien went to start his car but it didn't respond.

Damien tried a second time but the car wasn't having it as it refused to start.

Damien tried several times but the car was as stubborn as a mule.

Damien directed his anger on the steering wheel by hitting it.

He tried again and again but the car wouldn't listen.

Damien got out of the car and went to open the hood, several swearing words leaving his mouth.

He didn't even know where to look and what to touch.

He knew everything that there was to know about computers and was an outstanding mathematician who graduated from a prestigious university with honors.

But when it came to cars and mechanics, he was completely ignorant.

Damien had the feeling that karma was rightly getting back at him for lying not only to Craig but to Nick.

Nonetheless a good thing seemed to come out of this car breakdown.

Damien's lie now acquired a little weight.

Since his car seemed like it didn't want to go anywhere which meant he had to abandon it in the parking lot for the night, he could use that bad luck to tell Craig that the car had stayed at the garage.

Damien turned, giving his back to his car and leaned a little in front of it.

He picked up his phone and opened the Uber app.

He was about to confirm his ride but stopped when he noticed a limousine rolling in his direction.

The limousine passed in front of him but stopped a few seconds later.

Damien had the back of the limousine in his field of vision.

His heart jumped strangely, as if Damien apprehended something bad.

The rear passenger door of the limousine opened and Nabokov in the flesh and bone came out.

When Nabokov started walking towards Damien, the two men locked eyes for a fraction of a second.

Damien hurriedly shut his phone and put it in his pocket.

Then, he quickly turned to his car, leaning a little, pretending to analyze the mechanical interior of the troubled car.

Though he did everything to avoid remarking it, Damien could see Nabokov approaching since he was unfortunately seeing the Russian man in his peripheral vision coming towards him.

Nabokov stopped his walk a few inches from Damien, standing behind him.

The position in which Damien was leaning towards his car gave Nabokov a good view of Damien's butt.

An very excellent view.

"Do you need help?" Alexander Nabokov's voice echoed behind Damien Clark.

He hesitated on his following movements.

He wanted to act as if he hadn't seen Nabokov coming out of the limousine but after the quick eye contact he had with the Russian, it was impossible to do.

"No," Damien answered without turning, his exaggerated attention remaining on the inside of his car.

"Are you sure?"

Damien felt suddenly irritated.

For some unknown reason, he had the impression that Nabokov was internally mocking his situation.

And Damien didn't appreciate the fact that Nabokov was witnessing a moment where he required help.

It shuddered his ego.

Damien tried hiding the annoyance on his face and turned.

Nabokov was standing still beautiful as ever, his laptop in his hand, the expression on his face unreadable.

"I've never been so sure of my life," Damien replied with a condescending smile.

Damien quickly turned, his gaze directed to the inside of his car, unable to look at Nabokov for another second.

He wanted the Russian man to vacate the parking lot as soon as possible.

Being in the same place as Nabokov was enough for Damien to suffer a heart attack.

"It must be exhausting to have so much pride."

Damien wasn't certain he had heard well.

He took a few seconds before reluctantly turning to face Nabokov.

He raised an eyebrow and stared at the wealthy man as if he had just insulted him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Damien asked coldly.

As usual, Nabokov remained unmoved by Damien's coldness.

"Well, from the little that I can see, you clearly need help but you persist to prove otherwise for some reason."

Damien let out a slight haughty laugh.

"No, I know very well I need help but I have people to help me, so I don't need yours," Damien retorted harshly.

"Really? Where are they? Are they hiding under one of the cars in the parking lot?" Nabokov asked, the expression on his face as neutral as his voice.

A sharp smile appeared on Damien's face.

"Very funny. You have chosen the wrong profession. You should have been a comedian."

Nabokov shrugged slightly and put his hands in his gray pants pockets.

"I'm simply offering my help, Damien."

"That's very nice of you," Damien replied sarcastically. "But as I said, I have people to help me."

Nabokov raised an eyebrow looking barely convinced.

"I could call my boy... I could call my friend to pick me up," Damien added bitterly, feeling the need to justify himself.

"So, you'd rather disturb your friend who surely has better things to do instead of just accepting the help of a good Samaritan like me?"

Damien glared defiantly at Nabokov.

This man genuinely liked to provoke him.

He was about to tell Nabokov and his help invitation to fuck off, when he realized that Nabokov's presence was the perfect opportunity to discuss of Nick's software and try to get a positive answer from the Russian's decision.

He swallowed his pride as well as the shameless retort he intended to launch at Nabokov.

"Okay. I accept your generous help, Alexander," Damien responded with clenching teeth, his arrogant smile reappearing.

Nabokov didn't react, his neutral mask as if he was bored not going away.

The two men were gazing at each other without uttering a word.

This game of stare ends up putting Damien uncomfortable.

Though it may seem strange, when Nabokov looked at him with such impassivity, Damien would always distinguish something he couldn't pin point about Nabokov's glare on him.

Something he couldn't read and something he wasn't sure himself was thoroughly there.

Damien cleared his throat and looked down.

"Um... you know something about the mechanical field?"

"I have some knowledge, yes."

"All right, be my guess," Damien said, removing himself from the front of the car to stand on the left side of the machine.

"I didn't intend on helping you repair your car myself. Contrary to what some people might think, I don't hang out with spare shirts. So, I can't afford to get dirty."

Damien felt like letting a condescending laugh but abstained. He opted for sarcasm instead.

"That's some valuable assistance you just gave me," Damien said with a hypocritical smile.

Nabokov remained emotionless, as if Damien had not spoken.

"Let me drop you at your place. I will send someone to bring your car to the garage. You'll have it fixed by tomorrow."

Damien's haughty smile left quickly and he suddenly felt embarrassed.

This help was too much and gave him the disagreeable impression that he was going to owe Nabokov and that man was the last person to whom Damien wanted to own.

"No, you don't need to do all this."

Nabokov's face twitched and a cold gleam appeared in his eyes.

"Damien, there is nothing I hate more than when I offer my help and the person refuses," Nabokov whispered fiercely, his voice low and menacing.

Damien's embarrassment soon was replaced with annoyance.

What the hell was that?

He had every right to refuse.

Nabokov and Damien maintained their glare on the other.

Damien didn't intend on moving at all.

He didn't want to accept Nabokov's help, and it was his right.

Who the hell did this guy think he was?

"Get in," Nabokov ordered, his voice calm and controlled.

The Russian man’s authoritative voice had a bizarre effect on Damien's body.

He swallowed and took a breath.

He expressed his irritation on the hood of the car that he closed with brute force, without looking away from Nabokov.

He looked scornfully at the Russian and with the key, he locked his car.

Nabokov looked at the scene without flinching, no emotion on his face.

Damien could try to convince himself that the reason he was currently walking towards the limousine, closely followed by Nabokov and that he had entered was purely because he saw an opening to talk about Nick's software.

But Damien knew that deep inside him, a much more inexplicable and obvious reason was behind his decision to enter the limousine.

Damien sat tensely on the leather seat, his eyes going directly to the tinted window.

Nabokov entered and when he closed the door, the limo started moving immediately.

Damien knew damned that this limo trip would be much more painful than in the elevator.

And he was unprepared to stay in such a confined space with the last person in the world with whom he wanted to be alone.

Damien knew karma hadn't finished with him and he was apprehending the rest with fear.

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