#crack my toes

[moomoocowmaid]

I think I should be able to unshoeth my feet and crack my toes when I crack my knuckles. Public or not, these bad boys need to be yanked.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: injury mention / jokes about death / ]

Love when people depict Leo like-

Leo, covered in grievous wounds and having several broken bones: Ew, Staten Island? Anyway lmao that sucked-

Leo, with a paper cut: My LIFE is OVER I am SUFFERING I am DYING I leave all my comics to Mikey, Raph gets my posters and figurines, April can have everything else in my room, I guess Dad can have my swords, Donnie you get NOTHING until you admit I was RIGHT back when-

[moonyinpisces]

rating: E chapters: 1/6 wordcount: 6.6k TAGS: human au, crowley as banksy, french aziraphale, while still somehow being bad at french, friends with benefits, slow(ish) burn, for the ROMANCE at least, explicit sex, biblical imagery, humor work in progress

before you painted all my nights 🖌️

[yumivik]

[awkwardknight]

Jason, having achy pains in his legs because hypermobility and sciatic nerve is a shit combination: I want to sue my body this is so homophobic

Militia guy: Boss I don't think you can do that, unfortunately, would you like a heat pack

Jason: I want happiness

Militia: Sir I can't microwave that

[gophergal]

I'm so fascinated by how a well-worn pair of shoes tells you something about the person who's worn them

[acerathia]

Denki is the type to take your hand, massaging it a bit, before violently cracking every single knuckle without remorse, maybe even laughing at your horrified expression.

[sorrowandpride]

The biggest indicator that most of these "uwu 🩰c*quette🩰 girlies" have never done ballet in their lives (except maybe a kids' class when they were 5) is that they treat it as some "uwu soft dainty angel" shit, when it's really calluses, sprains, bruises, bunions, missing toenails, and going snap crackle pop when you wake up in the morning 🥴

[fucktheroyals]

I just want a dreamling fic of Hob getting Dream to do terribly human and mundane things. Sometimes Hob's just inviting Dream to do something he was already going to do. Sometimes Hob realizes Dream hasn't done something boring human thing and wants Dream to do it so bad. Sometimes Hob doesn't know whether Dream has done a boring human thing before but he just wants to see Dream doing it. It'd be so cute if whenever Hob doesn't have access to something, upon becoming better and better at navigating the dreaming, he just dreams up the situation there.

—OKAY WAIT THIS LITERALLY JUST FLEW INTO MY HEAD!!! Okay, you know how wives sometimes go with their husband's to golf courses and they literally just sit in the cart. CAN YOU IMAGINE— Dream's with Hob at Hob's place of work and Hob's coworkers/work friends invite Hob to play golf with them and Hob agrees for whatever reason and then Hob's work friends invite Dream along too and Hob didn't even think about it but now he NEEDS Dream to go and Dream reluctantly agrees. In true wifey fashion Dream shows up in full golf attire like he's going to play but just sits in the cart the entire time. I think it could be hilarious.

[jopzer]

the fact that there's only two royjamie fics tagged with hatesex on ao3.... what are we doing to our beautiful women....

[themosthatedbeingmoving]

{ — He’s just Laying on the ground cause he got a sharp stone lodged in his hoof and he’s not being brave about it —.

[furorsopher]

i feel like gotta rotate all my joints 360 degrees in both directions for them to stop feeling weird or hurt

[anemptypuddingcup]

“God damn- it’s fucking hot out on the deck.”

Luffy bursts into your room, his skin even more tanned than it already was.

“BAE I NEED MORE SUNSCREEN- M’FUCKIN’ BURNIN’!”

“That’s cuz yo dumbass ain’t put on sunscreen. WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?-“

“UH-HUH YEAH I DID- SANJI HELPED ME PUT SUM ON! TH’SUN BURNT M’ASS UP-“

…

“Wait it’s really that hot outside?-“

“Yeah…”

While you contemplate on even allowing him to set foot back outside on the sunny, he pouts.

“Please? Wanna go back outside..”

[the-ipre]

hey hey hey tell the people more about dbd smbts au :3

hello i will be using this to give a broad overview and then go more in depth with another ask >:3c

so! sore must be the storm is a magical girls ttrpg i ran that lives forever in my brain, and the gist of it is that a gaggle of teens have been chosen to become Magical Heroes to fight against the Gunge, a massive force of despair that has been bubbling up around the edges of reality and turning folks into magical villains by preying on their emotional vulnerabilities! dont you want to give in? dont you want to be angry? dont you want to stop fighting to be Good all the time? the gunge whispers in your head and takes over when you accept, puppeting you to act on your worst impulses, because whats the point of holding back!

although they do not know at first (and are quite thrown off by their magical companion being a weird pigeon with cartoon physics), the source of their powers is Hope and its the opposite Elemental Force to the gunge. hope itself cant defeat all the despair that swells in the world, but it can give you the courage to fight back against it!

in the dead boy detectives au, our heroes are charles, edwin, crystal, and niko, who all attend the same boarding school. the cat king is their magical companion, who more often than not is in cat mode, providing terrible advice and encouraging bad decisions <3 niko, still caught in her grief, refuses the call at first and ends up Gunged (dandelion sprite arc!). crystal, edwin, and charles all team up, transform, and fight to save her! she realizes she is not alone, and agrees to join the team! she has always wanted to be a magical girl, after all-

esther finch is the big bad who has found the spigot from which the gunge flows into our world and has broken it open. despair is good for business, after all, because people who have given up hope wont put up a fight <3 fun fact in the original story the big bad was the manager of an amazon warehouse (peter andora aka p. andora, open up the box of his warehouse and what is left!) and i think esther can be the absolute worst boss, so <3 she ends up making monty as a construct out of gunge, ripping a chunk off of this vast elemental force of Despair and giving him form as a boy to go spy on those strange magical heroes and see who is throwing a wrench in her plans!!!

these are broad strokes but know there is So much there. tragic mick is the english teacher and was previously a magical companion before Things Went Bad. the cat king can cartoon-physics splort into smaller cats. jenny is the dorm mom. edwin and charles are roommates who bonded last year when they remained on campus over the break. crystal just transferred from a different school and is trying to reinvent herself. kingham and litty are there as small gunge constructs. monty, the cat king, and tragic mick are all various points on a timeline of similar entities. there is Lots Going On Here please ask more-

[imminent-danger-came]

(3x11 This Imperfect World)

-

(4x10 The Jade Emperor)

-

Now the work can begin.

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

when the cracking of your bones is louder than the floorboards creaking