#crack attack

[antlergrave]

uh oh

oh damn he was just dreaming

[retiredteabag]

sukuna request 🩷

when sukuna comes home, he sees that we’ve dyed our hair and the bathroom is stained with hair dye

The sincerest form of flattery

Synopsis: Sukuna comes home to a crude imitation of himself, how is it his blood does not boil with distaste?

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

It was not uncommon for Lord Sukuna to arrive at the estate covered in sticky red blood. It would often have dried to his robes before he would bathe and rid himself of the substance.

Looking at your reflection now, you are sure the pair of you have never looked more similar.

You had given up on gloves long ago, the red staining your hands in a horrific way, you wondered what the man would say when he arrived at the estate.

Your hair had yet to fully dry, a duller pink than the king of curses, but a mimic of the man nonetheless. He was able to make it work in a way you could not quite understand, spinning in the mirror to see the damage, you begin to feel a bit guilty for the estates service workers.

The walls, the sink, the floor, it all had- well... what appeared to be blood splattered across it. A particularly incriminating towel lay across the counter, dripping onto the tiles below.

Silent giggles escaped you as you tried to wipe the dye from your hands. What would Sukuna say when he got home? You wondered.

You had just started to make headway cleaning the floors when you felt it. He was within the estate.

For reasons unknown to you, you started to become anxious. Cleaning faster, and anxiously checking the mirror to fix your appearance.

It was not long, of course, before he was standing in the threshold of his chambers washroom.

Any other time you might've found it sweet that he came straight to you after arriving home. He would never say it, but he was quite like a jungle cat in his own way, yet loyal as a dog. He would never stray too far from you. Your presence his energy.

But now. Bent across the floor, a stray hair fallen to your face, and the corrosive scent of ammonia wafting through the room, you feel a bit sheepish as his eyes take in the scene.

"What...ever are you doing?" His upper set of arms are crossed, his eyes analyzing the room.

You haven't a clue how to respond. A laugh is bubbling up but you try very hard to keep it down. Your fists are balled in the cleaner of the towels available to you as you glance at the floor and bite your lip.

Sukuna is taking measured steps to you now, his eyes narrowed. From your kneeled position on the floor, he looks even more enormous than usual.

The right words escape you so you build the courage and mutter, "I'm just like you, see?" And wave a hand to the room.

"You... what?" He hisses. Turning to see what you are referring to. Before he looks back to you, you stand, brush your wet hands down the large shirt that has become a blood-stained smock, and grin. You swipe your hands down the length of yourself.

"See? The hair, the... bloody room..."

He is making an odd movement in the muscles of his neck, and squinting at you, "This is not blood. I can tell with certainty."

"Yes, well... that's true, but don't we look similar?" You grin up at the giant, awaiting his response. Perhaps he will roll his eyes and walk to the bedroom of his chambers, or maybe he will demand you clean the mess you have made.

"You cannot possibly believe we look remotely similar." His biceps are flexing and there is a rosiness to his cheeks.

You turn now to look at the mirror, reaching to tug on his lower hand, "Look. I just need some tattoos now."

Sukuna flexes his hand in your grasp and you drop it that instant. He has never been the most physically attuned. Even so, just as you have made to step from him, his arms reach out, grabbing you by your torso and lifting you to his height.

His eyes roam over your hair and your face. There is a little dye on your hairline and he licks a thumb to rub at it.

"Ugh- ew... don't spit on me..."

His eyes squint in annoyance. Dropping you just a hair's breadth from the floor. Just as he is turning to leave you see the tips of his ears burn under the lights in his lavatory.

"You are a ridiculous beast." He finally announces.

"You don't like it? We match now!" You smile, knowing that if he had any qualms he would have said so without restraint.

"You are a filthy beast too. And lucky, lucky a bath is being drawn for me now." He runs a hand through his pink locks, the very hair that you are now sporting.

"And why does your bath make this filthy beast lucky?" You grin, coming to wrap yourself around his forearm.

He lifts you from the ground with the strength of that one arm. Curling you nearer now to his face.

"Because I am eternally gracious and will allow you to cleanse yourself alongside me." He states. Sharp canines glimmer in your eyes and you smile.

"My, that is very generous." You attempt to swing yourself down but his arms wrap around you.

He truly has the perfect anatomy for snuggling, though he hates to hear it. Effortlessly, he sets you upon one shoulder and carried you both to the bathhouse.

"I am known to be." He grunts. "For you." His upper right hand comes to curl a lock of your newly colored hair around his finger, a hidden smile gracing his lips.

[midnightwriter21]

aot characters as tweets pt 2 but it’s just eren

[bet-on-me-13]

Idea: Garp forced Luffy into a short Internship as a Marine Cadet. Luffy took that personally.

The basic idea is that when Luffy was 12, Garp took him from Dawn and forced him to take a 3 Year internship as a Cadet at an East Blue Marine Base. It was supposed to be a chance for Luffy to let go of his "stupid pirate dream" and finally become a Marine like he was always meant to be.

In reality, it only took a week before the Marines at the base were on their Hands and Knees begging Garp to take him back.

Garp refused, and Luffy was stuck at that Marine Base for the full 3 Years. When he got back at 15, just in time to see Ace off on his journey, he just said "That was annoying." And started talking about what he would do as a Pirate in 2 years.

When he finally becomes a real Pirate, his old Marine Base sees that he is due for a Bounty and convinces their higher ups that he needs a much higher Bounty since he spent 3 years as a Marine Cadet and knows all their protocols. They really wanted to get back at him.

When Luffy gets his Poster, he is instead ecstatic at getting a 50 Million Beri Bounty ad his first Bounty.

[buckevantommy]

buck, in his biggest softest most muted-tone hoodie with days of scruff while baking sweet comfort treats: of COURSE i'm depressed!!! the love of my life just dumped me i'm a MESS!!! SOMEBODY TELL ME THEY LOVE ME!! :'( :'( :'( :'(

tommy, seemingly unaffected: i am not now nor have i ever been not fine. i do not even know what that is. i have been knot fine, sure. i have been fined, true. anyway, unrelated but i may be going into cardiac arrest...

[bisexualvader]

[didderd]

MY BELOVED—cough cough I mean uh...

Crack, sweetest boi, I would like to know what kind of food is absolutely your favorite 🫶

Crack: Heh.. Hey Lex.

Ah... favorite? Don't think I could chose. I love most things.

..... If it's meat.. 's long as 't's not bloody... or real obviously an animal... 'n' sometimes I jus' avoid it completely... Found some vegan places I really like in some AUs over time. Love a good vegan burger.

[rain-day-today]

One thing that really rots my brain is the idea of the guild during the og baby fairytail members time and the domesticity of it. Cause like no way was gramps letting a bunch of super powered ( and incredibly destructive) 7-14year olds out of his sight.

Just imagine:

Little Natsu and emo teen Laxus having breakfast while very quietly whispering about their respective hoards collections of cat theme things ( I KNOW LAXUS IS A SECRET CAT LOVER I JUST KNOW IT)

Tiny Gray having an emo phase. Mira (a punk 14 year old) helping him out (after teasing him of course). The two spending many hours and lots of jewel to find and look through dozens of fashion magazines. Eventually falling asleep sprawled on the floor in a nest of semi-laminated paper.

Tween Lissana and levy giggling over the kissy scenes in books and Erza overhearing them. Spitting out her cake into Laxus’s face which makes them burst out into full on cackling.

Little Cana teaching natsu to make card pyramids for 3 hours and when he finally gets it, Elfman knocks it over. Every one thinks Natsu is going to punch someone, but he doesn’t, instead he starts full on bawling. Nobody knows what to do. Little Natsu cannot be comforted. Levy shuts him up by shoving candy into his mouth while cana really quickly rebuilds the pyramid.

Erza and Mira having a dance off on some of the tables ( mira breaks 3 of them in half with her stomping, Erza somehow stabs one). This is how everyone finds out to never take either of them to parties cause they dance like the deaf baby of giraffes and a buffalo.

Gray and climbing a tree to the very top and forgetting that he doesn’t know how to get down? He stays there till the next morning and seethes for the next week cause LISSANA had to carry him down.

Natsu following Gray around like a lost puppy his first week cause “he’s friend sized” and what else was he supposed to do? He knows nothing! Dudes not even from this time period. At least if he follows loud stripper he knows he wont get run over by a car. Gray not noticing or caring that he is being followed cause little guy has his own problems to deal with and “as long as he doesn’t take my food or breath on me.”

Cana having a plague doctor mask that elfman bought for her 13th birthday. She wears it to scare the shit out of everyone at the sleepovers.

Weekly “sleepovers” in the guildhall because it’s easier to do gramps weekly count of them when they are all lined up in their my little pony sleeping bags (yes this includes laxus and mira)

When Romeo is born they have a guild wide contest on whose name he says first (the answer is his own cause the little dude is a true fairytail wizard)

Levy managing to give everyone a heart attack after casually admitting that she hasn’t slept or ate anything but crackers and coffee cause she was trying to teach herself the equivalent of ancient greek.

Laxus and gray not knowing how to hold a baby (romeo)

Natsu “teething” on Erza. Everyone stares in shock cause there’s just Erza sitting there stone faced in full armor while Natsu chops down on her arm like he has rabies. ( he still bites her even when they’re older if he’s really stressed)

Everyone having a default crush on laxus or Mira

The guild kids try to make homemade shaved ice with grays ice and end up covering the entire town with really weird ice sculptures

Mira scaring the shit out of kids with her demon souls during Halloween

Someone stealing Mira or Natsu’s food and ending up with a burn on their tounge followed by natsu trying to “kiss it better”

Levy dozing off on the rafters and falling down onto poor elfman

Spin the bottle but instead of kissing you fight (grays idea)

Laxus has a spray bottle filled with water mixed with really bad smelling cologne that he uses to spray people when they’re bad, like cats.

No one in the guild knew how to swim until they turned 16 Lissana still can’t swim.

Its really really common to see elfman or gray duck-taped to the wall (its levy who does it)

Dont fall asleep around teen Mira she will draw titties on your face. (Where do you think natsu got it from?)

They all took a living 101 class when lissana was 13. It failed miserably. Laxus ended up being the grandfather to 6 rats and 3 hamsters

Laxus takes Lissana and Elfman out for brunch once a month because it pisses mira off to no end.

Levy, Lissana, and Laxus accidentally forming an L name club and plan their “meetings” within earshot of Mira and Erza to make them jealous.

“We should get cookies!”-levy

“And ice cream!”- lissana

“(Super smug face) im craving strawberry cake.”-laxus

*sounds of Erza bursting into flames of jealousy*

[astro-nomaly]

Lego Ninjago movie AU where Garm (and everyone else I guess) knows that Lloyd is the Green Ninja and Garm is attacking Ninjago specifically to get Lloyd’s attention. He’s blowing up buildings trying to like stimulate Lloyd’s Oni instincts or whatever. “Come to the dark side Luh-Loyd we have sharks.” It’s a tempting offer. He gets sad if Lloyd doesn’t show up for their scheduled fighting

[arolesbianism]

May I offer some Siffrins on this fine day

[crowlixcx]

Broadchurch | S1EP4 | Alec Hardy’s Wettest Moments (Part 16)

[jrreigns]

Excerpt from a Levi x Reader reincarnation AU I’m writing up. Still unnamed.

In all the lives Levi experienced, you carried the same traits. So beautiful and kindhearted, it was like falling in love all over again. And every time he met your eyes for the first time, it really did feel like the first time he ever laid eyes on you back when you were just a lowly scout and he was your captain.

It made losing you each and every time hurt more than the last.

From the moment recognition flashed in your eyes, from the moment you’d remember your history with Levi, it was from that very moment you would seal your fate. Your tragic death would soon follow and Levi would be left living a long and lonely life without you. Until death would finally knock at his doorstep and provide that long-awaited relief and an opportunity to try again in the next life.

There was no hope for an afterlife with you, it was an endless eternal cycle. You had promised to love him forever and he had promised to protect you for as long as he lived. He didn’t know that this is what it meant, an eternity to see you die, never able to truly be with you.

You had been a women’s right activist, a computer scientist, a journalist.

Now, you were the local coffee shop barista.

Levi stared blankly at you as you stared right back, waiting for the man to place to his order. You were used to being ogled at by the most brazen of men, but somehow this man’s stare didn’t feel as shameless as those. It freaked you out how oddly comforted you suddenly felt in his presence, but paid it no mind.

You let out a loud cough and it finally brought Levi’s senses back to reality. Levi managed to stutter out his order before handing you the money to pay. You could tell the man seemed out of it, but only offered a forced smile as you tried to get the line moving.

“Name,” you asked promptly.

Again, it was like he was a deer in headlights, so high-strung and tense.

“W-what?”

“…Your name for the order sir,” you responded, beginning to grow weary of this complicated customer.

“Ah…Levi.”

You thanked him, handed him a receipt and gestured for the next person in line. Levi quickly regained composure and moved to the designated pickup area.

He had every right to be stupefied at your meeting; he had every right to be mad at the powers that be. It was just his luck that now that he has avoided you in your past several lives, he has now bumped into you once more, equal amounts anticipation and trepidation bubbling up in his insides.

[gimpyhair]

Stupid prompt/drabble to the universe:

Levi receives a report on his desk, signed Hange Zoe-Ackerman. He decides to confront Hange about it, banging on their door "Yo, four-eyes, what's the meaning of this!?".

Hange opens the door, kinda awkward, and responds "oh, I didn't mean for you to find out this way-" Levi sees a ring on their finger and is super confused (did he fucking married Hange without realizing it). Hange then happily screams "-but I'm your new aunty!❤️"

Kenny comes out of nowhere and fully kisses Hange on their lips. Levi is speechless, under shock, does not compute, error 404

Kenny gives Levi pocket money and tells smugly him to go buy an ice cream or something to "give the grown ups some alone time". Hange giggles in a very ooc way, then playfully smacks Kenny'ass

Levi immediately wakes up, screaming (a la Kakyoin screaming meme). Hange, who is laying on the same bed, is like "babe, what's wrong, titans again?". Hange is ready to go full comfort-mode like every classic levihan fanfiction. But Levi refuses to talk because of how fucking stupid that nightmare was.

[stellar-collective]

Feel free to take this time on this request. /gen

Since your Phoenix can come back from the dead, I wonder if you can draw Reginald's reaction to finding out about Phoenix's multiple deaths.

(How he finds out is up to you. But if you want an idea: Zoraxis memory reading machine upon Phoenix getting captured.)

rule number one of being a handler: never, ever panic in front of the agent. if you stay frosty, then they won’t panic either. Reginald is going to hang on to these feelings and quietly have a crisis once they’re safely back at base, where Phoenix will never know.

[mochiajclayne]

The crack fic potential of Morgans just straight up writing that everyone in the Worst Generation is gay and dating each other with the exceptions of Bege (his wife is one of Big Mom's daughters and writing a shitty article about them means death), Urogue (the bird thinks he's not tabloid-worthy), and Blackbeard (no one wants to date him) and people initially brushed it off until the Strawhats and Heart Pirate alliance was exposed in public then everyone's like wait the bird might be onto something here and it got worse when people actively shipped them to the point that Kid, who normally doesn't give a fuck about tabloids, went ahead with an extremely cheesy gesture to tell everyone that he's dating Killer and he'd kill anyone daring to pair him with another pirate and Drake attacked Apoo out of pettiness because why did the general public decided to ship me with your acoustic ass. Hawkins is pretty much mortified when his cards told him he'd be dating one of them and Bonney doesn't give a single fuck. What the public doesn't know is that Luffy and Law were pretty much dating in the New World (but no one in Dressrosa snitched) and Zoro isn't even trying to cover up the fact that he's pining on a certain blond cook.

[8xlewis]

LMFAO