#cr vent

[theonlycorrectcropinions]

Reddit’s fucking wild man. The dark side, anything goes, no toxic-positive hugbox crap CR sub (I say this dripping with condescension) is just thoroughly, 100% pro Thoreau Lionett. The prevailing opinion that gets massively upvoted at every opportunity is the Beau is an ungrateful spoiled brat who repaid St. Thoreau’s kindness and patience with acting out (caused by nothing her father did, for sure) and becoming a *gasp* criminal! Then, after poor Thoreau couldn’t take it anymore and feared for his delinquent criminal scum daughter’s future, he magnanimously paid an elite academic institution to admit his ungrateful screw up daughter, and somehow the fandom gets upset by this!?!?! And what’s Matt’s deal acting like Thoreau’s such a monster anyway? Must be that he’s a big softy bowing to whims of the emotionally unstable stans that’s it for sure.

Jesus fucking Christ that is so embarrassing. “What if we just take the abuser 100% at his word and assume his bitch kid is lying and totally to blame? Doesn’t look so bad anymore, does he? Also let’s ignore the time he physically abused her while she was restrained (a totally normal thing for good fathers to go), it was just slap, what’s the big deal. Also we will pretend that Beau wasn’t kidnapped and forced to join the Cobalt Soul, she was a disgusting criminal who would have gotten herself killed anyway (none of which has anything to do with her upbringing, apparently).”

One of the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen from a fan space. Just gormless misogynists lapping up abuser 101 tactics like their dying of thirst and blaming children for being abused is their only water source. “But he apologized -“ No he didn’t! He pretended to apologize as the preamble to shifting all the responsibility onto Beau while claiming credit for all her success. Fucking creeps, the worst people.

Edit: I’m incapable of not hate reading that stupid sub, so I can now relay that the conversation has shifted to anger that Matt retconned Thoreau into being the bad guy when the story was clearly about how Beau was a piece of shit who needed to learn how to grow up and mature enough to see things from her father’s perspective, realize he was right, and forgive him. Instead, Beau stayed being a garbage person and so Matt had to cover for her by pretending Thoreau was a bad father post hoc. I will be doing a murder, I think.

[calmingwinter]

MY LIBRARY DR MOODBOARD/INTRODUCTION

- ੭୧ NAME : jennie ruby jane

- ੭୧ AGE : 20

- ੭୧ APPARENCE :

- ੭୧ MORE ABOUT THIS DR :

i can change anything about this dr there, i have a lifa app.

humans can approximately live about 1000 years.

im completely alone, i don’t talk to anybody, just myself.

i can do whatever I want.

i am a master shifter, i can shift on command.

i have eliminated money.

the world never runs out of water/foods.

the society is 100 times better than here.

global warming does not exist.

i have a shifting account on tiktok that have millions of followers.

every person who say shifting is not real have a bad life 😈. (joking)

new species of animals will exist (most of them at not offensive to humans)

me only can see contents or edits of my drs.

revenge of others has two other seasons.

I will permashift or respawn there.🥰

[ashuribbon]

So let me go towards the morning star With hope it won't disappear

[danwhobrowses]

I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.

What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.

For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.

While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.

I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.

Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.

Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.

And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.

[tanoraqui]

Dorian’s “Can you get revenge on the whole universe” line really stuck out to me because, like, yeah, that’s how it feels sometimes. Even in this specific context: sometimes D&D is a fantasy of awesome adventures with your friends, and sometimes it’s a fantasy of a profitable freelance career where you regularly get 8 hours of sleep, and sometimes it’s a fantasy of being able to react to grief and frustration and fear and injustice by going out and killing shit about it, because this is a world where the average moral code is overall more okay with lethal violence as a means of conflict resolution and sometimes people in it decide to, and refuse to stop doing, objectively evil things like unleashing potentially world-destroying god-eaters.

Wouldn’t it be nice to take all that hurt and fury and unleash it on someone who deserves it? Whether or not they deserve it in direct connection with the cause of your pain? When you’re mature enough to know that making someone else hurt doesn’t make yourself stop hurting, that sometimes there’s just grief and injustice because that’s, ha, how the dice fall on this bitch of an earth; but, god, you wanna anyway?

TTRPGs: for when you know it’s a bad idea to be a serial killer or even arsonist in real life, but damn, you can’t stop a war or fix or an unequal economy or reverse any of the deaths of your loved ones, so you want to just once cast Wall of Fire in a tight maze pattern then stand near the entrance bloodily chopping down anyone who makes it out, secure in the knowledge that there’s a cosmic justice to your wrath. It sure FEELS like there’s a cosmic justice to your wrath. You’ve been wronged and there’s no one specific to blame beyond The Way The World Works; surely it’s time to give a little back.

[hermionesmoon]

i think i’m 100% done with shiftok i was just on there and a… certain big shiftoker was talking about how permashifting is bad and yada yada then there was ppl in the comments saying how permashifting makes it harder to shift and it’s harmful, and unfortunately things like this still get to me so imma speak in it here. most of those people have good lives in their cr, they have friends, nice family, a good stable job, but unfortunately it’s not like that with a lot of us. i’m not gonna go into detail about my cr life but let’s just say some people are going through horrible things in their cr and they can’t escape it physically so they want to permashift and i’m just so tired and annoyed by these shiftokers that don’t even think about that and they’re usually like “it’s a bad influence on the kid shifters y’all are making them want to leave their cr permanently” and this is a very touchy topic cause for me personally i found out about shifting at 15 and it saved my life especially after i found out about permashifting and now i’ll be 19 in a few weeks and i have a clearer mind and i will still be permashifting and i may get hate for this but i don’t really see the huge deal because you could always come back??? and i think if a kid wants to permashift most likely they have a rough home life and want to escape it like obviously i do think people should think about it first but even then it’s not really that deep cause you could just come back to your cr with no time passed… i’m sorry i’m just so confused about all the hate towards permashifting when you could literally come back at anytime. like i genuinely can’t see a kid permashifting for no reason they are probably going through something horrible at home and unfortunately cps doesn’t help a lot of children so they try to help themselves i don’t see a problem with kids permashifting to a better cr where they have a nice loving home life and they’re happy like please tell me if i’m in the wrong for thinking that but just between us i don’t think they really care about “the kids” because most shifters on tiktok are like 16+ i think the anti-permashifters are the people i talked about in my other permashifting post where they think this reality is “superior”. but yea this is my take on it and this kinda sucks cause i really used to like the person i’m talking about and i try to stay open minded with a lot of shifting opinions but i just can’t stand how they’re stuck in their own head they can’t see that not everyone is living with sunshine and rainbows oh and also they liked the comment that said permashifting makes it harder to shift LIKE WHAT 🤦🏽‍♀️ this is what i can’t stand about shifttok they literally made up “shifting blockages” they love criticizing 2020 shifttok but they can’t see that it’s repeating with all this misinformation and close mindedness.

[r1-ka]

hi guys i have a new kin!

[the-matron-of-ravens]

So, it’s understandable for Laudna to almost kill FCG and to actually kill Bor’dor when betrayed because she was triggered.

It’s understandable that Imogen lost control and leveled an *entire city block* because Laudna was killed and she lost control.

It’s understandable - and cool actually - that Fearne didn’t fully heal FCG because she was mad at him for hurting Laudna and he almost died because of it.

(Meanwhile all of Bells Hells readily accept all of the divine healing FCG has to give (which to my memory he’s never denied someone) no matter how much they hate the source of it.)

It’s even understandable that Chetney lost control at the Ruidus flare and almost bit Orym or Fearne (and DID bite FRIDA).

But it’s NOT okay for FCG to also lose control and go Murderbot. He’s an abusive monster for doing so.

It’s NOT okay for Orym to be incapable of keeping others in line anymore - and even more it’s HIS fault for Laudna losing control cause he didn’t reign her in.

Like I want to be so clear I don’t actually hold ill will for any of them for any of this. It’s juicy conflict and delicious. But I am getting very annoyed at the very prevalent double standards, seemingly because those characters don’t have the opinions fans like.

And I also hate the part of me that is worried I’ll lose followers for being Too Negative or not having the Right Opinions but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lilac-clouds]

probably an unpopular opinion: I know they discussed this a while ago so it wasn't unexpected, and I love that so many people are excited about the return of VM, but I can't help but be a little bitter that we are cutting away from BH yet again...

The party split, crownkeepers, downfall, and now VM... I just wish there was more BH in the BH campaign. It feels like we had so little time to explore the C3 characters fully what with the Predathos clock constantly ticking down, and with this being the "endgame", it seems like there won't be a chance to rectify that.

Maybe I'm just sad because there's probably only a handful of episodes of C3 left and it seems like a a good chunk of them won't even have BH in it, depending on how many episodes they spend as VM and as M9. I'm just not ready to let go of BH yet I guess :(

[mini-minish]

personal vent / this might sound silly but it worries me a bit that no one (to my knowledge) at critical role has spoken out about the conflict in palestine, not even shared/interacted with posts on twitter, specially when they've spoken about other conflicts before.

im not suggesting they snap a finger and magically it's all over, but with the size of the platform that they have and with so many other famous and semi-famous people that i used to admire turning out to be and/or size with the zionists, i worry why they've been silent about it all... folks at dropout/d20 have spoken out about it, cr has ties to humanitarian organizations so it's not like they're unaware of any conflict going on in the world.

i don't use a lot of other social media, and i dont have tiktok, so if im mistaken on this and they have spoken about it, please let me know!

(please understand this is NOT the thing at the front of my worries right now, and definitely not the most important thing to worry about in any of this, but it is one of many things that have been worrying me lately, so i thought id share in case anyone knows anything or feel the same way)

EDIT: btw i've been informed marquet (the continent for c3) was inspired by palestine... so that's fun

[theonlycorrectcropinions]

Scanlan in tlovm gets such bitch eating crackers energy from me. The show character is pretty great, by all rights I should be a big fan. But man, I just hate stream scanlan lmao. I hate the weird veneration he gets from the grossest bro-est parts of the fandom (this is very clearly not saying that if you like scanlan you’re a gross bro, shut the fuck up), as detailed before I hate the whole bard’s lament sitch, I hate the genesis of Sam’s “everything is a joke, except when it’s not” shtick where everything is schrodinger’s emotional moment that’s haha until it’s serious business because it feels so dishonest… and the worst part is that I lied, and I don’t actually particularly hate stream scanlan, I just hate thinking about him in any sort of analytical sense because he’s so fucking annoying.

Like, sure, I get it, what if the gag character who’d shown the depth of a kiddie pool gets serious, sure, seen it before. But if we’re supposed to take scanlan seriously then he’s a serial sexual harasser, murderer, manipulator, terrible friend, yadda yadda, shit that’s fine if he’s the comic relief guy, but not the kind of stuff that inspires any sympathy why Sam starts trying to lay in the pathos. It feels ingenuine to just flip a switch between shit the audience (just me actually, I don’t care what you do to the rest of the audience) is supposed to take seriously and what they’re (me again) supposed to laugh off. I’m not talking like ooc conversations and running jokes, but like actual stuff the characters do.

Like, Nott is a Halfling woman who gets turned into a goblin. Sam decided that since goblins have shorter lifespans they would feel emotions more strongly, so she acts a bit wild. Despite introducing her as a “little goblin girl,” (something stans like to forget when they whine about early game Nott being infantalized… she’s introduced as a little girl lmao) she’s supposed to be an adult, sure thing, got it. Why’s she eating shit? Literally eating shit in a sewer? How does that make any sense as an actual thing he actually narrated for his character to do? It doesn’t, it’s a joke, but it does make it harder to take Nott at her word later when she snaps at fjord for treating her like a child/idiot. You were just eating shit in a sewer lady, you don’t really get to be high about people questioning your decision making skills.

It’s over and over again with this stuff. It’s a joke that scanlan’s drug seeking, notts a mean drunk, fcg is a shitty therapist, until no it’s a serious part of their character actually, forget about all the times it was a joke and engage with it earnestly. No? You haven’t earned that and everything up to this point has actively undermined that kind of engagement.

Still fun characters for the most part. Sam ranks about in the middle of cast for me (the only correct opinion haver).

[edelgarfield]

why are y'all so allergic to acknowledging that Ludinus makes an extremely good point. sometimes people can be factually correct but still bad people, or they can have a logically sound argument even if you don't agree with it.

ludinus is pointing at a giant crushing a person beneath their heel and saying "hey they shouldn't be able to just kill someone like that" and y'all are responding "my neighbor punched his brother so actually we're the same ☝️🤓"

if a group of people said "our current rulers are exploiting us, we want them gone" and those same rulers came in and indiscriminately slaughtered the resistance y'all would say to bring out the fucking guillotine. this is the same situation except the rulers are gods and the subjects are mortals. ludinus & the cast have all but said "the gods' control of Exandria/mortals is an allegory for colonialism/imperialism" in fact I'm pretty sure on an episode of 4SD they straight up SAID that and y'all are saying "hmmm the colonizers have a point." what about this isn't clicking.

"they're just like us" "they're family" dude, if my brother started a religion where the purpose was to worship him, and he made people go out and start killing on his behalf, I would be like "what the fuck is wrong with you" not "hmmm good idea, let me get a piece of that pie"

if my brother killed thousands of people I wouldn't be like "aw, i forgive you, why can't we be a family anymore 🥺" I would be like "holy shit you're fucking disgusting. die." Imogen got so much shit from the party & the fandom for wanting to save her mom, AND she's always been willing to kill her mom if liliana won't see reason but when it's the gods they're allowed to kill as many people as they want bc they love each other? the fuck?

"they're just like us" except if a character had a body count anywhere close to that of the gods they would understandably be considered irredeemable. like it's fine to sympathize with the gods, I very much do, but the absolute refusal to recognize that their presence on Exandria is inherently exploitative & that Ludinus has every right to want them gone is fucking mind-boggling.

so which is it, are they "just like us" and should be held accountable for their actions the same way and held to the same moral standard? or are they different and all the "mortals and gods are the exact same actually" is a load of horseshit?

"but they love us" cool my mom loves me, doesn't mean she has the right to control me for the rest of my life. it's not about whether the gods are good or bad, it's about the fact that no civilization should exist to be exploited by another & mortals have the right to self-determination. but fuck all that I guess bc God forbid Ludinus have a point.

[shitcomscriptwriter]

Growing up in and out of psychiatric hospitals and offices really ruins your sense of self.

There was very little I could hide. Every bit of me was picked apart and scrutinised, used as a teaching tool for eager students with no regard for my own feelings or opinions.

I have very few genuine emotions now, because of how many realities were constructed for me and how they presented me like I was their newest accomplishment. No part of my brain was my own.

I am a psychological cyborg.

It feels like they took my humanity and all natural reactions, but I know they didn’t. There is still a human in here, and she is screaming.

[ravenquingvax]

might right a fic where one or both of the twins are diabetic like myself because im angry at being diabetic once again

im type 2 and its fucking sucks;

absolutely FUCK metformin

absolutely FUCK no alcohol

absolutely FUCK "healthy" snack and meals

absolutely FUCK pricking my finger to test my glucose levels

absolutely FUCK going for tests and visiting the hospital

absolutely FUCK my mental health for spiralling everytime I see blood because omfg

im so fucking tired rn, but maybe thats from sleeping on and off since 3am to 3pm and not fucking eating anything yet

i fucking hate being sick

i fucking hate having asthma

i fucking hate having diabetes

AND I FUCKING HATE WHEN ALL 3 CONSPIRE AGAINST ME LIKE THIS WTF

my throat and ribs hury whenever i cough or laugh now

im always exhausted

and now THIS

so yeah, torturing the twins sometime soon 😇🥰🤭

love you, Vax and Vex! 💕

[a-rhapsody-in-grey]

the thing i can't get over is that fearne's reluctance to take the shard was an interesting and valid backstory choice due to dark fearne. it could have been a great moment setting up her journey of facing and overcoming her fears of the fate looming over her.

but nope. taliesin swooped in and didn't even try to talk to her about why she was hesitant. didn't question if maybe she should rethink. he just maneuvered her alone and away from anyone who would delve into how she was feeling and why and grabbed his chance to lock her into him taking it instead. and why? what for? a cult and "chosen one" backstory wasn't enough? a sketchy former patron tied to the big bad wasn't enough? two cities full of backstory npcs wasn't enough? luxon juice in his brain wasn't enough? just the one titan shard wasn't enough? he needed more?

what bothers me about this is that it was a selfish player move plain and simple. he shut down a great path forward for fearne for nothing he didn't have already.

[lazilybeinglassie]

Everytime I go looking for more Shadow Milk content lately, it seems like it is harder to find ones of him being the bitch that he is.

Don't take this as me dunking on what people like. I can see the fun in redemption arcs and shipping galore. Like, I would be a hypocrite if I said that was stupid stuff, I have made fanfiction of those things. And I don't want people thinking I want less of that. Fandom, go wild in your fun!

I guess this vent post is just me feeling sad that not a lot of people are getting creative with Villain Shadow Milk as I thought they would. Yes, we have only two episodes of content to go by. But by all means, I wanna see this fandom make him a monster. Give me irredeemable SM. Give me his worst attributes! Make him disgusting, make him hateble! SHOW ME THE VILLAIN THAT HE IS AND WORSE!

Again, not less of what the internet is dishing out, just more of what the internet is lacking.

Idk, you tell me if I'm just not looking hard enough or I'm just a picky consumer.