#cpa notes

[bloggin-til-cpa]

Final (and only) review on exam day 🥹

Will debrief of the whole past month after my exam.

Wish me luck!!

[taycpastudies]

8/16/23

Yesterday was a little frustrating. I “passed” my mini exam with a 57 (the study software says over 50 is “passing” even though it doesn’t feel great!) but I flagged just about every multiple choice question and totally bombed one of the simulations. But that’s ok, on I go!

I definitely got like a 30 on my first mini exam for audit, and it turned out fine, so I’m just gonna keep moving and I’ll take it again after I go through all the review material in a few weeks. If I bomb it then I’m in trouble, but for now I’m trying to find my peace with it. I do hate not raising my “Total Completion” score everyday, but I know the mini exams are important.

My goal is to finish Unit 3 on Sunday or earlier, which will be a little tricky since my boyfriends sister and her husband are coming into town tonight, but they know how important this is to me!

On to the next!

[johnbleepingzoidberg]

i need to study but i just wanna draaaaaw

[fazcinatingblog]

Might waste another $1000 on a CPA subject like Australian taxation just for the fun of it

[togrowoldinv]

Secret Santa

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

When Natasha gets your name for Secret Santa, she tries to think of the perfect gift for you

Note: I’m back! Well, technically I never left but I’ve been up to my ears in studying for the cpa exam. I took what was hopefully my last exam today, and let Natasha come back into my brain lol. Enjoy this holiday fluff!

Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist

“Okay, on to the topic of the Christmas party. What if do Secret Santa names this year?” Tony suggests.

“What does that entail?” Steve asks what everyone else is thinking.

“Well, we’d all write down a few things we like. It gives the person who gets your name an idea of what you want,” Tony explains.

“I like it,” Steve agrees. “What does everyone think?”

A chorus of sures and okays follow.

“Y/n, can you take care of it?” Steve asks.

You agree easily. You’ve always loved the holidays so the idea of helping the Avengers have a good one is exciting. Especially since it’s your first year with the team.

You get everyone’s names on notecards and spend the rest of the day getting everyone to fill them out with gift ideas. Wanda helps you collect them from the team before the next team meeting the next morning.

“Okay, everyone I have all of the names here. Draw one and whatever you get is what you have. No switching allowed,” you tell the team, mainly Tony.

You eyeball him as you say it and he at least pretends to look offended before he grins.

When you get to Natasha, you smile at her shyly.

“What if I get my own name?” She asks with a smirk.

She reaches into the bowl of names before you can answer. Her expression is unreadable as she looks at the card.

“Good?” You ask.

“It’s good,” Natasha replies.

You move on and keep going until everyone’s been picked. You got Wanda, which should be super easy.

On the other hand, Natasha got you. She thinks about it for a few days before deciding that she doesn’t want to get you anything on your list. She decides to go to your best friend on the team for advice.

“You got a second?” Natasha asks, knocking on Wanda’s open doorframe.

“Oh,” the girl is caught off guard. She doesn’t spend much time talking to Nat aside from about missions. “Sure.”

Natasha walks in and closes the door behind her. She sits down at Wanda’s desk across from where the girl sits on her bed.

“Is everything okay?” Wanda asks.

Natasha doesn’t immediately assure her it is and she gets worried. “So, I got y/n for secret santa.”

Wanda’s tenseness goes away and she can’t help a little smirk forming as Nat is talking.

“And I know she has things on this list,” she says. “But I don’t think a single one of these things is good enough for her. I don’t know what I should get for her, but she deserves the best gift.”

“Natasha,” Wanda interjects. “You’re taking this way too seriously.”

“Oh,” Nat expresses. “She- well she loves Christmas, right? I saw how excited she’s been about the tree and then the secret Santa and the movies. All of it. I want it to be special for her.”

“That’s really sweet,” Wanda says. “You like her, huh.”

“Can you help me?” Natasha keeps the focus on the conversation at hand. She does like you though.

“Of course. Anything for y/n.”

“Thank you,” Natasha says, feeling the relief set in.

The two brainstorm ideas for a couple of hours. When Wanda shows late for your usual nightly dinner, she wears a grin.

“What?” You ask her. “Fun with Vision?”

Wanda chuckles and you share a laugh with her.

“Who’d you get for Secret Santa?” You ask her.

“I can’t tell you,” she says.

“Sure you can.”

“Who’d you get?” She counters.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Sure you can,” she mocks you.

The rest of the days leading up to Christmas go by fast. Unfortunately everyone had to go on a mission on Christmas Eve, so you’re all exhausted on Christmas Day morning.

Tony postponed the gift exchange until later in the day, and everyone is much more rested by then.

Even with the hustle and bustle, you notice Natasha hasn’t made it to the get together yet.

“Hey Clint, where’s Nat?” You ask the archer. He was working closely with her on the mission.

“I think she just needed to take some time alone.”

“Oh, okay.”

You go about the party for a few more minutes before deciding to go check on Natasha.

You go to her room and knock on the door. She takes a minute to answer, but finally the door opens to reveal a distressed Natasha.

Her hair is messy and she’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. You haven’t seen her this way before.

“Hey,” you say. “We missed you down there.”

“Sorry,” she says. “Uh, come in.”

Her room is clean and exactly like you expected it. There are a few photos of Natasha and Clint’s family on a dresser, but that’s really the extent of the decor.

“Are you okay?” You ask her.

“Yeah, just a bad mission.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Nat says. “It’s a me problem.”

“Hey, we’re teammates. And- we’re friends. It’s an us problem.”

Natasha can’t help but smile a little at that. You make her feel better by just being here.

“I don’t think I’m in the party mood. The guys aren’t so sensitive to my feelings.”

“Hey, that’s alright. I’ll just take your gift if you want me to. I’ll make sure it gets to the right person,” you explain.

“Oh, actually I had you. And I didn’t get a gift off of your list.”

Your eyes go wide. You didn’t even consider that Nat would get you. Thinking back to your list, you hope she didn’t find anything you wrote down as lame.

“Not because they were bad ideas. It’s just- I wanted to do something more meaningful,” she reads your mind.

Natasha crosses the room and grabs a box out of her closet. It’s wrapped nicely.

“You wrapped that?” You ask.

“You seem surprised,” Nat jokes. “I have skills.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” you say before blushing a bit. She smirks.

She hands you the box and you sit down on the edge of her bed together to open it. Nat watches you shyly as you open the gift.

“Natasha,” you whisper as you reveal the gift.

It’s a beautiful locket necklace.

“Open it,” she says.

On the inside of the locket, there’s a photo of your family. Your favorite photo to be exact.

“How did you-“

“Wanda helped,” Nat says. “I know you’ve been missing home since you joined the Avengers. I thought you’d want to have a piece of them with you on missions.”

“Natasha, that’s- well that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” you say, fighting back tears.

“You like it then?”

“I love it. Thank you,” you say sincerely. “Will you put it on me?”

Nat nods and takes the necklace from your hands. She unclasps it and stands behind you to put it around your neck. Her hands are gentle as she clasps the necklace and brushes against your skin.

“Beautiful,” she says when you stand and face her.

“You are, yeah,” you surprise her by saying. You dare to reach out for her hand. She takes it easily and interlocks your fingers. “I wish I got you something.”

“Oh, I think you just gave me the best gift,” Natasha says.

“I did?”

“Mhm,” she confirms. “Come here.”

Natasha leans in, pulling you closer to her with the hand that’s free by the back of your neck. Her gentle hand from before has a bit more urgency.

You can’t help but smile as she kisses your lips. Finally, both of you think. Finally.

“Merry Christmas, y/n,” Natasha says when she breaks for air.

“Merry Christmas, Natasha.”

It doesn’t take long before you add a photo of Natasha to the other side of your locket. She’s with you always. Right beside your heart.

[archelangeli]

accrued interest. | hinata s.

ACCOUNT HOLDER: an introduction to academic victims

hinata shoyo

first-year marketing student. the wheel of names chose his program for him because he was indecisive, but he ended up liking marketing. while he’s not the brightest, his enthusiasm and determination definitely make up for it. however, the practical aspect of their accounting subject has him in tears lately, and he blames their rarely present professor for having the audacity to give assignments. procrastinates a lot and would cram with others in the group call.

kozume kenma

second-year marketing student. supposed to be busy with marketing research but often hops on his computer to go gaming instead. he still manages to pass his classes with minimal effort. roommates with hinata, and since they’re in the same program, hinata got notes from him for most subjects. kenma couldn’t help him with accounting, though. he dealt with the same professor last year and forgot the lessons in that subject since that professor had more absences than attendance.

nishinoya yu

second-year communication student. tourism management was his first choice but due to the height requirements in the program, he wasn't qualified and ended up in communication instead. the incident has been a running joke in the group chat ever since. a menace. the biggest yapper ever and the only thing that shuts him up are tight deadlines. talks a lot during group calls where the everyone is doing homework only then to be told to shut up by an annoyed tsukishima.

yachi hitoka

first-year interior design student. she is the one that balances out the chaos in the group but sometimes, she needs a little saving from them. the biggest sweetheart ever and the go-to person for advice or a listening ear. her talent for designing spaces and creating beautiful layouts makes her a standout in her program, but her shy nature often leads her to second-guess herself.

yamaguchi tadashi

first-year architecture student. sleep-deprived because he always pulls all-nighters to finish his plates. he is often found sleeping in the oddest places, in any uncomfortable position, and through any noise. although architecture is stressful most of the time, he’s still having fun with it. just don’t ask him how much coffee he consumes in a day. roommates with kageyama and tsukishima, who are firsthand witnesses of his suffering.

kageyama tobio

first-year sports science student. currently waiting for the intramurals sports since he has a clear goal getting into the university volleyball team. he never hesitates to speak what's on his mind and call anyone out, especially if that person happens to be hinata. a lot of people are intimidated by him, but he actually just doesn't know how to function properly in social settings.

tsukishima kei

previously featured in CPA (can't pass accounting).

previous transaction. | masterlist. | next transaction.

[broz0neglitters]

Dating Clay ˚ ༘♡ 📗⋆｡ ˚ ❀

Warning: Smut/NSFW!

⚠️(Also I will be using words like dick,cock and Other stuff so if you're uncomfortable with those words you click away once you finish reading dating clay part I don’t know any other word for those again this blog/headcanon is for mature audience so yeah just giving you all a heads up!) ⚠️

Anyway, This is my first Smut I'll include the dating part, too as well before we get to the spicy part I hope you guys enjoy this, and please excuse any mistake I have made

-Also, I don't know the difference between Smut and NSFW. I'm assuming they are the same thing; gosh, I'm so dumb-

Dating Clay: •~•°.🐢

-Since he's a licensed CPA, He will rarely have time for you but he'll still make an effort to spend time with you -You guys first date is basically sitting around watching him do his work and talking most of the time is completely quiet b/c he's working -Your 2nd date will be more like a mini picnic, but of course, Viva interrupts you two; you tell her that you and Clay were in the middle of a date, and she apologizes and leaves and won't do it again unless it is a real emergency -He isn't a big PDA Guy. He will link arms/pinky with you, but sooner enough, he'll even let you hold his hands, even just a kiss on the cheek he rather have PDA In private cause he's a serious boy Clay -When you're sad/angry he would usally avoid making eye contact with you and he would leave you alone until you're ready to vent to him -When you vent to him he will take notes to make sure he doesn't trigger you or upset you ever again

-He will be fun boy clay when his brother aren’t around or in private -he will sing you all of his part in brozone and give you a mini concert -you even wore his romper sweater that one time b/c you want to match with him he will think you look silly but he thinks you look very cute -That dude can bake you anything you like from cake to cookie you name it -He's not a big sweet tooth kinda guy but he will definitely have some milkshake or sweet with you because it makes you happy

-He will definitely take you to his sad book club when he crys he will be hugging you super tight while you pat his hair -He's a super tall troll so do expect him to put his arm or hand on your hair and he will definitely asked you "How's the weather down there?" -He's over protective of you he will stand close to you at all cost to the point the trolls mistaken clay as your bodyguard -He's not big on nickname that's a different story *wink wink* but the only nickname he has for you is babe or short stuff

-He too shy to say "I love you." to you but the ways he shows it is hugs and kisses privately but overtime his shynesses goes e away and he says it with full confidence

-------------------

(Okay now onto the spicy Part again I've mention I'll mention some uncomfortable words but I'll try to find a different way to say it anyways again this is 18+ so DNI If you're a minor click away after you read dating clay part or just click away in general I'll do a non-Smut version!)

----------------------

Clay Smut/NSFW: 💚💐💋

-He will take it slow on your first time -During the first time he will dry hump you which makes you turn on -He likes touching your lady part when you're doing dishes etc he even attempted to rub it to see you moan or see if you can keep a straight face -he once rubs your lady part while you were cutting vegetables you almost cut yourself because you couldn't hold it in because of how good it felt when he was fingering you... -He likes it when you beg for him -He's big on nickname once it comes to sex He'll called you Sexy,Baby,Mama and Bitch (He dosen't mean it as a bad way it just his thing when you guys do the deeds) -He will go to town on you like literally he's a rough fucker -His cock is thin and long -when putting his cock into your lady parts he will say thing like "Stay still.. I'm almost done" "mm.. u Feel good ma" etc. -While he's fucking you he will make you moan out his name no matter what he isn't worry if anyone could hear you moan his name he wants everyone to know who his little bitch is when going to town on you

"What's my name mamas?" "Say it louder, say it you mean it moan out my name babygirl.","I can't hear you let me hear you beautiful."

-He loves it when you suck him off -He loves cockwarming so do expect him to ask you to cockwarm espically when he's working -He will most likey fuck you in front of john dory cuz that amazon box ass hole was telling clay that he couldn't go to town on you so clay will prove it to John dory -He's a rough finger fucker he will finger you really roughly but he goes slow on your first time -Usually clay will dominate you during sex but he'll let you dominate him sometimes -He will leaves a bunch of hickeys on your thighs and lady parts

-He will cum all over your hot body,mouth,face he will even cum inside you if you let him his cum is super thick

-----------------

Anyways I hope you enjoyed my first clay smut anyways I'll do more clay smut soon eventually anyways this was just a introduction anyways I hope I did well 🤭

Like and Follow are very much appreciated ᯓ★

[betterbooktitles]

When my father could think of nothing to add to a funny or odd moment in a conservation, he’d let out a sarcastic “Nothing but the best.”

When a drunk guy on the street swore at us and made lewd gestures as we walked to get dinner in Cleveland one night, he looked over and said nothing but the best. When I showed him a particularly insane clip from Wondershowzen he liked, nothing but the best.

It was rare, however, that he had nothing to add, argue, or joke about when talking to me.

The last time I was able to have a long conversation with my dad, he told me he thought his personal knowledge base had a few spots of depth but that he didn’t know much. It was a rare moment of self-pity, one I felt was unearned since he was a person who knew a lot about everything. I challenged him. I began listing stories he told me about writers, actors, politicians, about history and economics. He knew about petty arguments Joni Mitchel had with her managers in the 60s. He explained the 2008 financial crisis to me in under a minute (likely during one of his furlough days when the government was shut down). He taped avant-garde short films on VHS so we could watch them together on the weekends. That’s how I ended up seeing Maya Deren’s “Meshes of the Afternoon” before entering high school, let alone a film course. His favorite short was “Down Rusty Down,” an Australian black-and-white comedy from 1997 where humans play various dogs in a neighborhood. We watched it for the first time together but he asked me 50 times over the last few years if I’d ever seen it. I wanted to scream every time that I was there with him for his entire indie cinema phase! Our shared movie viewings started when I was a child when he forced me to watch All That Jazz and Die Hard (inappropriate movies to watch with your kid) and ended around 2001 when we watched Y Tu Mama Tambien (an inappropriate movie to watch with your parent). It made me feel better that he didn’t even remember I was with him on this art house movie rabbit hole because it meant he liked it on his own, whether his kids did or not. He liked paintings, he hated musicals, he liked cooking and got better from my middle school years on. He subscribed to specific guitarists’ Patreon pages during the lockdown and watched his favorite musicians explain how they wrote old songs.

When my grandfather died, my brother told me what he thought makes a great dad. “It’s doing stuff you don’t want to do for your kids.” This was before he had kids of his own. He seems to enjoy attending as many of my nieces’ volleyball games as he can.

What my brother meant was that the sign of a good father was the ability to engage in your kids’ interests rather than strictly engaging in your own. Our dad was not a basketball player, but I have memories of him teaching me in our driveway how to box out. When my brother decided to become a CPA, my dad took accounting classes online so he could understand what my brother was talking about when he visited. He came to every play I was in from the age of 6, including shows I did in college that were, I’m sure, not to his taste. He gave notes on scripts and stories I wrote, he played guitar with me, he helped brainstorm ways to get an agent with me. He would preface each piece of advice with “I don’t really know how any of this works” and then make cogent, informed arguments about what I should do next. He treated every interest his kids and grandkids had like a hobby of his own.

When he was not busy being a dad, cheering in the stands of a football game or clapping in the audience of a play or in the kitchen making dinner for his wife and kids, he was reading, exploring, and finding tolerable classical music to listen to and share with all of us. He didn’t merely love the act of reading, he liked fiction specifically. He liked finding out about the craft of writing. He worked on novels and stories of his own after retirement. He liked comedy. His knowledge of it was specific and enigmatic. After taking a few pictures at the house of my friends and our homecoming dates, he asked where we were taking the girls for dinner. “Buca di Beppo,” I said (because I know how to treat a lady), and my dad said “oh, that’s where Phil Hartman’s wife got drunk for hours before going home and shooting him.” “Thank you, Dad. That’s a great icebreaker.”

When I got into stand-up myself, he pitched me jokes and essay prompts via email, even when he was ill. His last email to me was to let me know he thought a big break was approaching for me and that he and my mom did not sit up at night worrying that I couldn’t make it in comedy. "We have faith in your work and talent.”

One day, inspired by some mystery itch that came from no one in his family, my father started digging a hole in the backyard. He read through a tiny yellow pamphlet on how to build a pond, and with no help (certainly not from his kids, and before the days of YouTube), he made a mosquito-free pond in our yard. He put in fish that survived winters, he put in tadpoles that became frogs and hopped into neighbors’ yards. One morning, he came outside and discovered a giant crane hunting one of his frogs. He’d made an entire ecosystem thanks to one afternoon of reading and following through on a whim.

That’s what I’ll remember about him. Not strictly the things he did his damnedest to enjoy for us, but what he enjoyed.

He was married to my mother for 49 years. He studied city planning and managed to find work in his field. He focused on fighting for affordable housing and revitalizing neighborhoods including Ohio City where we lived for most of my teens. He was a good dad because he engaged in the stuff his kids and wife liked even when he disliked it (that included moving from the city to the suburbs for a time). But he was a great dad and friend because he managed to get me interested in what he liked. He took the time to listen, to watch, to talk. He let me know how much joy he took in his work. He let us know how much he loved being a dad and grandfather.

When I think of what he could have done better, I can’t come up with anything to say. He gave us nothing but his best.

[jtl-fics]

Time After Time:

Math Nerd AU

May 19th, 2020 (in the past future [before the reincarnation])

Math Nerd AU | Unusual Fic Asks

Neil was coming to accept that he wasn't going to die of old age as the doctors told him the recovery time for his twisted knee. He would need to do physical therapy before he could even have the surgery and then additional physical therapy afterwards.

It would take too long.

The Moriyamas would cut him as a useless thread. "Mr. Josten, you'll play again." The Doctor assures, "You will just-"

"Thank you Doctor, yes I understand." Neil interrupts. "Let's schedule a time to start the physical therapy." he says because a part of him feels spiteful. He knows how Ichirou works, knows that his death will look like a suicide.

People who are committing suicide don't make plans right? Maybe his death would be just enough to topple it all to the ground and save Kevin and Jean. He makes his appointment and hobbles out of his doctor's appointment to find Andrew in the waiting room.

He wonders how much longer he'll get to look at him.

He'll never actually be ready to stop.

Andrew's gaze snaps to him and Andrew has always been able to read him like a book. "It's too long?" he asks.

Neil laughs because, as usual, there was no point in hiding things from Andrew. "I've had my will ready for a while. I'm leaving-"

"Stop." Andrew raises his hand, "you aren't dying. Not before me. I'm older." Andrew argues.

Neil smiles and wishes to say the three words that bubble up in him but he wants them to be the last ones he says to Andrew if he can manage it. Saying them now would only make Andrew upset and possibly leave.

"Let's go home. I wanna see the cats." he says instead. It doesn't matter too much, his will spells out where everything is supposed to go. Andrew helps him into the car and puts his crutches in the backseat. They drive in silence and Neil finds himself looking at every black car with out of state licenses.

He looks at his phone because there's no point in worrying. His fate was sealed the moment that Ohio player rammed into him. He hopes Andrew likes one of the options he listed in his will. He hopes he stays close to Andrew, hopes he can protect him from beyond.

He prepares texts for all of his friends as he goes. Most are just I love yous and some thanking them for being especially kind to him. His text to Matt a long note on how sorry he is that he won't get to watch his god daughter grow up. His note to Aaron to make sure that his daughters take after Katelyn when they're born.

They get home and Neil is glad to see that there are no cars in their driveway. It does not mean that Ichirou isn't there, but it gives him a bit more time to look at Andrew.

Andrew's jaw is tight as he pulled into their garage.

"I've had arrangements made and paid for Andrew. It's going-"

"Shut up." Andrew hisses and gets out of the car.

Neil's phone rings and he sees a familiar area code he looks as Andrew shuts the door as he enters the house.

He hits accept. 32 wasn't bad considering he never expected 20.

"Hello?" he asks.

"Wesninski." Ichirou greets and Neil lets his eyes close. "I hear you will not be able to pay me." he comments.

"It will be quite some time before I can work on the court again My Lord." he doesn't lie or try to hide it. "I understand what this means for our deal. May I-"

"I wish to strike a different deal." Ichirou interrupts and Neil blinks.

"You...wish to strike a different deal?" he asks.

"I am in need of someone with your certifications Wesninski." Ichirou says.

Neil's jaw tenses. He can't do his father's work. He'd rather just have Ichirou shoot him and let it be done.

"You have kept up to date with your CPA certification from what I understand?" Ichirou continues.

Neil blinks.

What?

[anamelessfool]

Scenes from the Void AU Ages and Timelines Masterpost

Note, this is my AU. Ages and years are different. Also they're Americans. Why? Rule of cool, bro🤘

Primo

b. 1953 New York City d. 2001 Ministry HQ

Irving Robert Olson Parents: Nance and Nihil

Left the Church in 1960 with Nance, returned after her death in 1972.

Bodyguard for Mater Emeritus Jocasta 1972-1979, Groundskeeper/Super for Ministry HQ until elevation

Papa Emeritus: 1994-2000, died from exhaustion caused from the Papa Emeritus Curse

Secondo

b. 1961 Ministry HQ

Michael Aulenbach changed to Michael Leider in 2008 Parents: Rebecca and Nihil

Rebecca passed over for a promotion to Mother Imperator due to her surprise pregnancy (the magic ritual would kill the fetus)

Child prodigy pianist. Tours eastern United States as "Modern Mozart" from the ages of 6 to 10. Piano teacher to this day.

Magician of the Church 1977-2008. Head of the Conclave of Magicians 1990-1999. Papa Emeritus II 2001-2008.

Married Sandra Leider in 2006. Three children Paul (2004), Eden (2010) and Samuel (2013). Left the church in 2008 to help Sandra's family run the Leider Memorial Home. Funeral Director.

Terzo

b. 1965 Milan Ministry location d. March 2018 Ministry HQ

Arsenio Moretti Parents: Nihil and a Catholic novitiate only known as "Maria"

Fathered during Nihil's first major tour of Italy. Mother died and so he was returned to Nihil in the US in 1969.

1984 Last seen at Bishop Camino's funeral in NYC. Missing for two years, returned to Ministry in 1986 and never speaks about it to anyone (except Omega eventually) Now has photography and filmmaking skills.

Director of promotional materials, films Primo's tours 1994-2000. Elevated to Cardinal in 1998. Choir Director until his elevation to Papa Elect in 2004.

Summons Omega in 2005.

Papa Emeritus III 2008-2017. Forcibly removed from office 2017 for [REASONS REDACTED].

First Papa Emeritus formally executed by the Church in 300 years for the crimes of [REDACTED]. (you will have to read hehehe)

Copia

b. 1976???? Unknown

Copia is his real name. Unknown origin. Unknown parents, although raised as prev characters' youngest brother.

Found by Primo in mysterious circumstances in 1979. Parental figure found murdered. (My fic Violence and Gentleness focuses on this mystery)

Raised primarily by Primo. Homeschooled by Rebecca until 13. Secondo is his piano teacher.

He had a very strong bond with both Primo and Secundo and considers them father figures. Primo taught him how to be a moral person and Secondo taught him how to be an intelligent person. Secondo started teaching him piano at the age of five and by fifteen he was learning on the organ.He had an interest in math and science and pursued that at the academic level. He was the first of the family to actually go to a college outside of the Ministry. He graduated top of his class as a CPA in 1997, and immediately began working under the Head Treasurer. He was head treasurer for the Ministry from 2005-2017.

Met Cardinal Marian in 2006 was in a relationship with her until 2017, then back again in 2019.

Elevation to Cardinal 2010. Elevation to Papa Elect 2012. Finally Papa Emeritus upon Nihil's death in 2019.

Nihil

b. 1930 Milwaukee, WI d. 2019 onstage Mexico City

Robert Irving Olson Parents: Betty and Irving

Father gambler and alcoholic. Mother church organist. Church choir and guitarist. Older brother Archie lost at sea in 1946 (WWII Navy). Forced to drop out of school and work to support family in machine shop. Ran away from home in 1947. Rode the rails with the nickname "Zero". Picked up by the Satanic Church of the Void in NYC 1950. Multi-instrumentalist in Bishop Camino's house band until 1958. Odd jobs all throughout his life from taxicab driver, singing telegram, model, busker, roadie, trucker, etc.

Transferred to Ministry HQ thru Bishop Camino's recommendation. Brought Nance and Primo with him. Affair with Rebecca led to Secondo's birth and Nance leaving the church altogether. Elevated to Papa Emeritus 1963. First American Papa since Papa Camino in 1940s. Sister Imperator 's first Construct (after she underwent her magical rite she bestowed on him the Curse to make him Papa). Toured Italy and Europe 1964-1965. Secret bastard child Terzo discovered in 1969.

Got his ghouls terminally addicted to slot machines in 1972, foisted from position for that mistake. Protegee Jocasta took over until 1979.

Personal Assistant to Sister Imperator 1972-1984. Leader of the College of Cardinals 1986-2017. Return to Papa Emeritus 2017-2019.

[bloggin-til-cpa]

Had my iPad’s Notes App crash and caused me to lose written notes in addition to heating up so it was no longer comfortable to continue writing on my iPad. Decided to look into it and found out it was a bug with the iPad and that others are experiencing the same issue.

Downloaded Notability to try out. I like it!!! Just don’t like having to pay for an app or else be subject to a usage limit 🥹 discount codes are appreciated! Lol

[heckcareoxytwit]

The mutants of Krakoa are sent on their mission to investigate who is behind the terrorist attack and they help the survivors of the bombed city. Also, they fend off the Watchdogs who are harassing the mutants and survivors.

The mutants who do things in this comic are...

Storm disperses the biotoxic gas in the air and she helps out in fending off the Watchdogs. She also creates an oxygen-rich bubble environment to enhance Triage's healing powers.

Cyclops and Monet St Croix do most of the fighting in fending off the Watchdogs who are harassing the mutants.

Bishop helps out the survivors as well as fending off the Watchdogs.

Cerebra and Tempo analyze the skull and they found out that the skull belonged to a young mutant who was kidnapped and used as a living weapon by Orchis.

Thunderbird frees the trapped man inside the car, he also knows that the Heritage Foundation might have something to do with the X-Gene used to create the exploding mutant so he informs the CSI team that they were buying native X-Genes.

Iceman creates ice bowls for the dogs to drink water out of. He also uses his ice golems to do CPA stuff in the office, helping the town prepare for upcoming bureaucratic and budgetary battles.

Triage works to heal the critically injured and notes that half the town is sick or infectious due to the "dirty bomb" explosion.

Tag's powers are great for evacuation and he "tags" destroyed cars and buildings to help people escape them, while Karma telepathically guides people out of complexes.

Angel helps out in not only taking the trapped survivors out of the window from the building, he also helps out Cyclops, Monet, Bishop, Jean Grey and Bishop in fending off the Watchdogs.

Jean Grey ends up her telekinesis levitating most of the Watchdogs and after reading their minds realizes they're not part of the false flag operation. They actually believe mutants are responsible for the attack. She gets them out of the way and has them "chasing their own tails." Jean Grey also rebuilds people's homes using their memories as blueprints.

Somnus keeps the wounded but stable victims dreaming comfortably as they rest.

Thumbelina uses her shrinking powers to perform microsurgeries inside the survivors' bodies.

Wicked the Genoshan mutant connects the deceased with their loved ones as grief counseling. Bishop notes that without backups of these people the Phoenix Foundation can't bring them back.

Icarus singing local tunes to lift the hearts of the victims.

Escapade switching places with trapped people as she seems good at escaping.

Crave the random mutant eats the contents of biohazard bags that have been collected, neutralizing them. He also finds them delicious.

Northstar and Aurora light up the night sky.

Sanjar Javeed (Horseman Death from Remender's Uncanny X-Force) boosts the immune systems of the most vulnerable.

Brutha Nature grows air-scrubbing flora all over town.

Alchemist (Sudi Abadi) purifies the contaminated water.

Theia also helps to reassemble the streets, businesses, etc.

Greycrow cooks a massive pot of seafood boil while Madrox fills and passes out bowls.

Eye-Scream the obscure mutant makes ice cream for the children.

Hindsight uses his telemetry to do more investigations.

--- X-Men: Before the Fall - Mutant First Strike #1, 2023

Whew! What a list!

[the-sentimental-spymaster]

Shadowy Grinding

Okay. I've heard a lot of things about Shadowy being really hard to grind or being a stat that lags behind. I've also seen some recommendations for grinds that top out at ~3 CP per action, which is worse than finding a menace free check and using a Weasel of Woe.

With the help of my good friend @adorablegorilla, I learned of a much more efficient grind - and, as it happens, it uses Watchful!

TL:DR - 16+ CPA Shadowy grind at peak efficiency

Requirements:

150 Watchful for 100% on checks.

17 Palimpest Scraps per run through, maximum. You can use fewer based on an Airs style randomness.

Access to Moloch Street and Spelunking in the Sunken Embassy.

Access to the Dome of Scales, Occupied.

This is most efficient when done in multiples of four, but is generally more efficient at higher repetitions.

Instructions:

Spelunking in the Sunken Embassy, use the Consult Scholarly Tomes action (unless Locate an Inner Sanctum is available, in which case use that), get up to 600 Fragments and turn them in for an Oneiromantic Revelation.

Turn the Oneiromantic Revelation into 5 Vitreous Almanacs, which you can then turn-in 4 of for 275 Shadowy CP at the Dome of Scales.

Analysis:

If you have 150+ Watchful, this takes 20 actions to generate 5 almanacs. After four runs through (80 actions), you can turn in 5 times, getting 1375 Shadowy CP over 85 actions total.

This calculates out to 16.176 CP per action, and 19.6 levels (once you're above level 70) over four runs.

A single run is only 13.1 CP/A, but that is still quite significantly better than selling casing gained in the Flit, or Woesel farming.

Comments:

I don't count the action or honey used to get into Parabola because I'm assuming you'll turn in the grind whenever you need something else from beyond the mirror. Also, the minor profit you get in nevercold steel will definitely cover the cost of that honey if you're truly worried about it.

If you have VERY high Watchful (297+), you don't need the Palimpest Scraps, and you'll get slightly more steel in the end. I don't know how to farm Palimpest Scraps - I bought them from the Rat Market for some Uncanny Incunabulum.

I'm not sure exactly how this compares to Loitering Spam (where you farm a ton of Hastily Scrawled Warning Note with another account and then sacrifice them in your Social Engagements tab). This just happens to be single-player and, as far as I can tell, more efficient.

I'm not counting the Watchful CP gained from the checks, though you can estimate that you'll get about 14 CP per run through on average (so, ~0.67 CPA). Not as important, but a nice bonus if you're not capped on Watchful.

Plus, turn-in grinds are very fun to finish, as you get to see massive leaps in your stats all at once!

[inkstainedheartbeats]

What’s this? Another silly AU? (Please note silly does not mean this is gonna be angst free). Modern AU, Upside Down Events still happen, but I’m unsure if I wanna keep the deaths.

This now has a name: Learning to be Loved

It takes everything inside Tommy to not pull over on the side of the road and throw up. He left this town as quickly as he could. Wanted nothing to do with it, with the constant death, with his father and brothers. Leaving his mother, leaving the little plot of land where his sister sleeps was a blow to the gut but he needed to go. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, he ran because Hawkins would have been his death. And now here he is running back.

Ten years older and thousands in debt thanks to a degree he never even got to finish. Still, his eyes flick back to the three little girls sleeping in their seats, it wasn’t all bad. Sure Lloyd was probably the worst Alpha Tommy could have let knock him up, he was everything Tommy hated he had become in high school, but he had treated Tommy right at the start. He treated Tommy like an equal instead of the way most Alphas did here in Hawkins. They’d spent three years dancing around each other, two of them Tommy spent fixing all the shit in his head… okay, not all. Up until he fled he’d had a therapist visit every other Wednesday, but most of it. He recognized that painting ‘Nancy the Slut Wheeler’ was a shit thing to do, that spreading rumors that could get them hurt in their small, often backward ass, town was a morally indefensible thing to do. He’s grown. Has had to grow. He has children to raise and an Alpha who showed his true colors the moment Tommy got pregnant. Raging and throwing things, breaking things before turning toward Tommy. The baby couldn’t be his. He wouldn’t raise the bastard.

Only when the twins were born, a week and a half early Lloyd had come crawling back. Begging to be part of their lives. And like a fool Tommy had said yes. Carol’s parents had divorced and while her dad was amazing he hadn’t known what or how to raise two kids on his own. And if Barty couldn’t do it, how could Tommy?? He stayed too long. Let Lloyd stay too long. Muscle memory has him almost turning onto Loch Lora before remembering that Steve doesn’t live there anymore.

“Daddy? Where are we?” Bellamy asks, her big brown eyes looking around.

She has his eyes but Tommy likes to think she got the brown from Steve. That there was a tangible connection between them. He’s pulled over, car idling as he digs out his phone. Can’t stay here long, the neighbors get pissy, but he needs to look up Steve’s address. Dr Marnie would be disappointed in him, dropping by an old ex friend’s house unannounced. But even when they were on the outs Steve looked out for him. The pact made between Omegas never weakened.

“We’re in Hawkins, babydoll, daddy’s just gotten a little turned around is all.”

Plus Steve’s facebook profile is public for the world to see. Complete with address and place of employment. Steve’s a teacher nowadays. Tommy hadn’t dared look further than that. Didn’t have the right to, which makes just as little sense now as it did when he mentioned that to Dr Marnie. He’d done the same to Carol. Looked at that little About section, only addresses and place of work. Needed to see how they were doing. Carol is an accountant, or maybe a CPA, not that Tommy knows what the fuck that means. Finding the address he gets to driving.

It doesn’t take long to get the quaint little house. The outside is painted a cheery yellow the neighbors must hate or love. There are toys in the yard. This is it. He takes a deep breath, steps out of his shitty second hand car that barely fits his three daughters and all he packed for them, and starts the process of unloading the girls. They gather close around him, nervous about the new environment. Together the little family approaches the round green door. Knocks.

“Heya, Steve.”

——//——//——//——//

Hope you don’t mind the tag @busyheadkeepbreathing but you sounded super into this idea part two available

[talesfrommedinastation]

How the Bad Batch got white-washed: a script

(Don't know if this is how it actually happened, but it's my personal theory that came out after some wiiiild discussions on Discord. I don't believe this actually happened, but I do think liberties were taken to secure audience members and ratings. Enjoy, my little crumpets!)

CW: Everything. Just...at this point, in between fics and art filled with violence and Naughty Times and Doug's irrational ramblings about Toaster Strudel and SEC football, you should probably leave if you're under 18.

-----

(Be Star Wars animation studio, probably Florida, who knows)

Studio Executive: Yo, animator, we got a problem here.

Animator: Yes?

Studio Executive: These clones, the new guys in this new show, 'The Bad Batch'…they all look alike. All bronzed, good looking guys with dark hair and thick shoulders. 

Animator: Yes, that’s, um, kind of what clones are, sir? They are genetic duplicates of an indigenous actor from New Zealand. 

Studio Executive: That’s the problem.

Animator: Say what?

Studio Executive: Who is watching this damn show? Who is paying for Disney + subscriptions? Who is our main money-making audience here?

Animator: Um, I guess…families? And, uh, lonely single adults?

Studio Executive: EXACTLY. And you know what is declining, besides civility in an ever-crumbling society? 

Animator: What?

Studio Executive: THE BIRTH RATE.

Animator: Uh, actually--

Studio Executive: YOU KNOW IT, I KNOW IT, THE WORLD KNOWS IT. DAMN GREAT RECESSION AND PANDEMIC AND CRUSHING REALITY GETTING MILLENIALS ALL (legitimately) SCARED OF HAVING BABIES. WE NEED MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE TO START BREEDING LIKE RABBITS IF WE WANT TO HAVE A STEADY POPULATION OF AUDIENCE CONSUMERS OF DISNEY PRODUCTS.

Animator: Well, that seems aggressively eugenics-oriented, with a tinge of classism.

Studio Executive: WHATEVER I MAKE THE BIG BUCKS SHUT YOUR ART SCHOOL MOUTH. Now, redesign those new clones!

Animator: To…what?

Studio Executive: First of all, the tech guy! What’s his name?

Animator: ….Tech. 

Studio Executive: WELL THAT SHIT’S EASY TO MARKET. Anywho, get rid of the tan and the muscles and the thick dark hair. No nerd looks like that, come on. Make him a skinny white guy with receding hair, slap some hipster glasses on him too. Actually, you know what? Meander your ass over to the accounting department on the second floor and draw a few of the weirdos conducting audits in there. Base the tech guy off of them, not a buff, golden, Maori man.

Animator: But the guys in accounting look NOTHING like Temuera Morrison! This is just wrong!

(pictured above: Not the average CPA in the USA. That rhymed)

Studio Executive: Bro, get real. Are these lonely single ladies and the exhausted moms watching this show with their kids going to run into Mr. Morrison while working their office job? You think Boba Fett’s tanned self sits at the corner cubicle and tries to hit on them when they go to the copier? What are you smoking?! And on that note, make that tech character sassy, smart, and nurturing! Make him the perfect guy!

Animator: Why? I am so confused.

("Wanna come look at some Excel spreadsheets with me, baby?")

Studio Executive: Because we want all the 30-something ladies watching this show to get so hot and bothered over Tech that they decide they need to have this clown’s babies, like, now! And they’ll run over to the accounting office, drunkenly hook up with one of the auditors in a broom closet after Thirsty Thursday, and boom! Another consumer born, 9 months later!

Animator: This is sounding astonishingly like eugenics.

Studio Executive: WHATEVER. Same goes for the other clones! Make that tall bald one look like the aggressively outgoing construction worker that’s laying cement outside of the accounting office! The one that always wolf-whistles and screams ‘Jesteś piękna! Beautiful like model!’ at every woman! The one that all the ladies in the office watch and go ‘Oh, yes, take that shirt off, it’s a hot day today, daddy’. Watching that fun guy on this show means those ladies with THROW THEMSELVES at guys like this! And bam! MORE CONSUMERS FOR DISNEY BORN. 

(Wrecker has raw contractor energy. ::lays pipe::)

Animator: I am not enjoying this conversation’s direction.

Studio Executive: CAN IT AND TAKE IT UP WITH HR. Now the leader, I know we’re going with Rambo, and I’m okay with it, but give him a little extra smolder and snatch that waist a bit. I want to go for a ‘hot waiter at Cooper’s Hawk that slips you his number after you tip him 40%’, vibe. 30-something ladies love Cooper’s Hawk, there’s been market research, do it. 

(He'll judge your love of pinot grigio, but not how you pay him, wink wink)

Animator: No.

Studio Executive: SHUT UP AND DO YOUR JOB. Now, the last two…bald, calm guy that always seems tired but is still constantly there for you? Basically, every exhausted Millennial man right now? Make him extra pale because he hasn’t left his condo since 2020 and his only social outlet is playing STEAM games with his other lonely friends. Perfect. Job well done. 

(He uses his scomp to play 'Dave the Diver'. You know he does)

Animator: Yeah, his name is Echo and he– 

Studio Executive: Good, make him like I said, and trust me, ladies will see men like him and want to fix them, and then promptly ride said men like it’s Derby Day. More consumers born, we will have a bumper crop of tickets purchased at Disneyworld and Galaxy's Edge within the next couple of years. Excellent. 

Animator: Sir, you are a sick, sick man. 

Studio Executive: Speaking of which, the last guy. Just make him Clint Eastwood. 

Animator:…Clint Eastwood. Isn’t he old as hell?

(Oh, Daddy Warcrimes, you and your toothpick are the Internet's Everything)

Studio Executive: Yeah, but, daddy issues abound amongst many of our consumer audience. And this is a show about daddy issues. And hopefully, by watching this, we will turn more people in daddies and KEEP OUR CONSUMER NUMBERS UP ON DISNEY +! 

Wait, where are you going?!

Animator: I’m resigning and joining the Peace Corps, I can’t do this anymore.

[togrowoldinv]

Memory

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

You feel like you’ve met her before, but you just can’t remember when or how. It turns out there’s a lot you don’t remember

Note: Hey y’all. I have been swamped these last couple of weeks studying for and taking a part of the cpa exam, but I finally had a free moment to have some fun. I went and saw Argylle, so this is loosely inspired by that. Enjoy it!

Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist

The room is silent aside from the clicks of a keyboard as Natasha tries to break through a firewall. She’s smart, but the person who created it is slightly smarter than her.

The redhead smirks when she is one step from breaking through, but her cheekiness doesn’t last. An alarm sounds and she’s met with at least ten agents swarming all around her.

“Oh hey, guess you guys found the party,” she says in her usual cool under pressure tone.

She uses the agents’ hesitation to begin attacking them to deal the first blows. She takes them down two at a time until there’s only one left. She knows who he is.

“Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?” Natasha asks.

“You know what I want,” he says.

“And you know what I want,” Nat replies.

The two of them keep their guns in ready position. Nat alerted for backup, but she knows most likely she’ll have to handle this on her own.

“Where is the woman?” The man asks. He shakes his gun at Nat. She sees a weakness in the way he’s holding it. He won’t last.

“If you give me the intel, I’ll give you her location,” Nat says.

“You’re lying!”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m telling you the truth. They’re never really that different, right?”

“Drop your weapon,” he tries another tactic.

Natasha just smirks. She moves her left arm down and the man mistakenly thinks she’s giving in. The moment he shifts his aim Nat takes a shot at him. It’s an easy shot for her.

He goes down and Nat finishes gathering her data from the computer before she quickly gets out of the building. That backup she was waiting for finally arrives as she’s making her way outside.

“Thanks for the help,” she says sarcastically as Steve opens the door for her.

“Sorry,” he says. “We can’t be everywhere all the time. What were you even doing here?”

“Gathering intel,” Nat says simply. She shows him the flash drive and he just shakes his head. “The more I can find out the better I can help her, Steve. It’s an easy choice to make.”

“Nat, she’s so far gone,” he tries. “It might be worth stopping.”

“I’ll never give up on her. She’ll be herself again. I know it,” Natasha says. “Now, will you help me get this to Stark to decode?”

“Of course I’ll help you, Romanoff.”

She nods in thanks. For the rest of the drive, Natasha thinks about what her next step should be. There’s no easy fix to this situation. She needs to go where her mind works best.

Meanwhile, you are working on cleaning tables when the most beautiful woman walks in. You’ve seen her in here several times since you started working here.

She always sits at the table in the corner and orders coffee and a piece of chocolate pie. It’s always the same thing. You’ve never waited on her before, but somehow the stars align today and you’re covering that section.

You walk to her table and take a deep breath. She’s even more beautiful from this close up.

“Hey, how are you today?” You ask her.

“I’m okay,” she replies. “How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” you say. It’s your typical response when a customer asks you that question. “What can I get for you, ma’am?”

She orders her usual. You feel her eyes linger on you as you pour the coffee and bring her slice of pie to the table.

Something feels familiar about the way she smiles at you in thanks.

“Do I know you?” You ask her. She doesn’t reply, but you notice she looks away from you. “Sorry, it’s just that I had some memory loss so I’m just not quite sure who I know at this point.”

“Oh, I’m very sorry,” she says. “I don’t think we know each other though, no.”

“You seem familiar,” you tell her.

“Well, I am an Avenger so maybe that’s it,” she says. “I’m Natasha.”

“Right. The superheroes. It’s nice to meet you, Natasha,” you say. “I’m y/n.”

You hold out your hand for her to shake. When she does, you swear there’s still a lingering feeling that you know her. Maybe you’ve just seen her on television.

“I better get back to work,” you say.

“Nice to meet you, y/n,” Natasha says.

She stands from her chair and drops cash on the table. Walking towards the door, she stops short and turns back to look at you. You offer her a smile that she returns.

With that, she disappears into the city. The rest of the day goes by seemingly without any other excitement. You can’t stop thinking about your interaction with the woman, which is why you thought you were dreaming when she shows up at your door.

You blink hard to try and wake up, but the reality is that she’s truly here.

“Natasha?” You ask confusedly.

“I don’t have time to explain,” she says. “Can I come in?”

“I- what? Okay?”

She takes that as a yes. She walks inside and goes straight to the corner of the room where she picks up a piece of the floor to reveal a secret storage area.

Natasha fills her bag with the weapons that were stored under the floor.

“What is happening?” You ask her.

“Just trust me,” Nat says.

“I just met you today and you somehow know about this secret area of my house I didn’t even know about. And I’m supposed to trust you?”

“Yes,” Natasha replies. “Come on. Get some shoes on. We have two minutes.”

“Two minutes before what?”

She doesn’t get the chance to answer before a loud bang comes from outside. A series of car doors close simultaneously.

“Look, I know you don’t know me but you have to trust me. These guys are after you and if we don’t bail in the next thirty seconds we’re dead. Got it?” Natasha says.

“What?” You ask. It seems to be the only word in your vocabulary right now.

She grabs your hand and pulls you through your house. Once you’re outside, you go through the fence to the neighbors yard.

“Here,” Nat says, pulling you to a motorcycle that’s waiting there.

“I am not riding on that,” you say.

“Then you’ll be dead within minutes. Come on, y/n,” Nat says. She puts the helmet on your head involuntarily.

You have no choice but to listen to her. Hopping onto the bike, you hold on tight to her middle as she drives through the streets. At some point, a van is tailing the two of you. Natasha turns down every alleyway and street she can to get you away from the tail.

“When I say jump, you’ve got to jump!” Nat says over the roar of the engine.

“What?”

You’re quickly approaching a road that you can see has no end. She drives full speed ahead before letting go of the handlebars.

“Jump!” Nat shouts.

You cling onto her as you both jump. You have no idea how far the drop is but somehow you land in water. Natasha pulls you to the surface quickly.

You get to shore and try to gather yourself some. You’re so confused about all of this.

“Are you okay?” She asks.

“Am I okay?” You ask her. “Seriously, you’re asking me that? I don’t know who you are or what’s happening. We just got chased by a van through town and jumped off a motorcycle into a fucking lake. Do you think I’m okay?”

The woman has the audacity to smile at your words.

“I’m sorry, do you think this is funny?” You ask her, feeling fury seethe inside you.

“No,” Natasha says too quickly. “No, it’s just- nevermind. We have to get to the Avenger’s compound.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” you tell her matter of factly.

“Y/n-“

“Don’t!” You interrupt her. “Just leave me alone.”

Nat raises her hands in surrender and watches as you walk away. She lets you get ten steps ahead before she follows after you.

“I told you to let me be.”

“You’re up there all alone. I just happen to be walking in the same direction,” Natasha reasons. “Although, the compound is the other way.”

Despite the fact that you were just doing insanely dangerous tasks with her, you feel a certain safety in her presence.

“Why should I go with you?” You pose a question.

You notice her hesitation in answering. Like she wants to tell you something but she just can’t.

“If you just come with me, I’ll explain everything there. Okay? Please give me a chance,” Nat says. “I won’t be responsible for them finding you and finishing the job.”

“What job? I’m just a waitress. Who could I possibly have wronged?”

“I promise I’ll explain later,” Nat says. “Please follow me.”

You relent and follow her. There’s no reason for you to trust her but somehow you do. It doesn’t take long to get to the compound once Nat hot wires a car.

“Y/n?” A girl asks when you are inside. You look at her despondently and she frowns. Natasha gives he’s her a look.

You follow Natasha to what seems to be a laboratory. There’s a large screen on the wall.

“Ah welcome,” a man says. You recognize him as Iron Man. “You’re just in time.”

“For?” You ask.

“The truth,” another man answers. You’re pretty sure he’s Captain America.

Before you can speak again, photos of you litter the screen. There are some of just you and some of you and the other Avengers.

“What the hell?” You wonder aloud.

“Y/n, we wanted you to remember on your own but it’s taking too long,” Tony Stark explains. “Natasha tried to jog your memory just by being in your presence, but that didn’t work.”

“So I do know you?” You ask the woman.

“You know all of us, y/n. You’re an Avenger.”

“But I’m- no. I’m a waitress,” you say. Your head feels like it’s spinning.

“That’s what they made you think, but you’re not. You’re a special agent,” Steve says. “And one of the best.”

“I don’t believe you. This is all a joke, right?”

“It’s not a joke, y/n. Why do you think we knew those people were after you? Or that I knew about the floor in your house?” Natasha asks.

“That’s easy. You’ve been spying on me.”

“No,” she says simply.

“Then how?” No response. “This is just insane. I’m leaving.”

You start to walk away. You hear Natasha’s footsteps behind you.

“Natasha,” a warning voice comes from Tony. “Don’t.”

“You know what, you go ahead. Take a car of ours, y/n,” she says.

She holds up a pair of keys. You reach for them, but instead of giving them to you she throws a punch your way.

You surprisingly dodge it with ease. Natasha smirks at the way you look at your arms in confusion.

“How did I do that?”

“Come on, throw one,” she taunts you.

You do your best to punch her, but of course she dodges it. You spar back and forth until you’ve both had enough.

“Great, now that that’s over. Do you believe us?” Tony asks.

“I’m not sure,” you say. “How could I not know I’m an agent?”

“Brainwashing,” Natasha answers. “Very effective brainwashing.”

“But why?”

“Because you were going to uncover a huge invasion of Hydra in the government,” Steve explains. “We still can’t find the data that you had before they took it from you and erased all of your memories.”

“So the memory loss, that was a real feeling I was having?”

“It was,” Nat says. “The reason why wasn’t a car accident as they told you though. They captured you and essentially knocked you senseless.”

You rub your hands over your face as you try to take all of this in. Just a few hours ago you thought you knew who you were, but they’re telling you something completely different.

“We wanted you to remember on your own, so it might not be so overwhelming,” Nat says.

“So, we’re all what? Coworkers? Friends? I don’t remember any of you, or anything you’re describing,” you say.

“We’re friends,” Steve says. “You’re friends with all of us and with Nat-“

“Steve,” Nat interrupts. “She doesn’t need to hear that right now.”

“I don’t need to hear what?”

There are shouts down the hallway that interrupt your conversation. Tony suits up and Steve grabs his shield.

“Get her to safety,” he tells Nat.

She grabs your hand and takes you down the hallway to a door and down a ton of stairs. Nat locks a door behind her once you’ve reached the lowest level.

“They’ll handle them,” Nat says. “But the further you are from the fight the better.”

“What was Steve going to say?”

“Hm?”

“About you and me,” you prompt her.

Natasha tears her eyes from yours much the same way she did when you questioned if you knew her earlier.

“Natasha, please just tell me. Clearly, everything I thought I knew was a lie. What’s one more thing?”

“Okay,” she agrees. “We were- you and I were together.”

“Together?”

She nods.

“Define together. Like dating?”

“Kind of yeah,” she says. You look at her for more details. The silence prompts her to continue. “We were married. We are technically married.”

“Oh,” you say.

“Yeah. I didn’t think you were ready to learn that,” Nat says.

“So that’s why you knew your way around my place?”

“Our place,” she says. “But they moved all of my stuff out before you went back there.”

“Natasha, I don’t- I can’t remember anything,” you say.

“I know,” Nat says sadly. “We kept our distance once we realized what they did to you, but we’ve never stopped making sure you were safe.”

You hear the sound of the fight getting closer. Natasha reaches for your hand. She places a loaded gun in your palm.

“I want to remember.”

“You will,” Nat says. “But right now, you’ve got to fight.”

To be continued…