#good person! Tommy

[inkstainedheartbeats]

What’s this? Another silly AU? (Please note silly does not mean this is gonna be angst free). Modern AU, Upside Down Events still happen, but I’m unsure if I wanna keep the deaths.

This now has a name: Learning to be Loved

It takes everything inside Tommy to not pull over on the side of the road and throw up. He left this town as quickly as he could. Wanted nothing to do with it, with the constant death, with his father and brothers. Leaving his mother, leaving the little plot of land where his sister sleeps was a blow to the gut but he needed to go. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, he ran because Hawkins would have been his death. And now here he is running back.

Ten years older and thousands in debt thanks to a degree he never even got to finish. Still, his eyes flick back to the three little girls sleeping in their seats, it wasn’t all bad. Sure Lloyd was probably the worst Alpha Tommy could have let knock him up, he was everything Tommy hated he had become in high school, but he had treated Tommy right at the start. He treated Tommy like an equal instead of the way most Alphas did here in Hawkins. They’d spent three years dancing around each other, two of them Tommy spent fixing all the shit in his head… okay, not all. Up until he fled he’d had a therapist visit every other Wednesday, but most of it. He recognized that painting ‘Nancy the Slut Wheeler’ was a shit thing to do, that spreading rumors that could get them hurt in their small, often backward ass, town was a morally indefensible thing to do. He’s grown. Has had to grow. He has children to raise and an Alpha who showed his true colors the moment Tommy got pregnant. Raging and throwing things, breaking things before turning toward Tommy. The baby couldn’t be his. He wouldn’t raise the bastard.

Only when the twins were born, a week and a half early Lloyd had come crawling back. Begging to be part of their lives. And like a fool Tommy had said yes. Carol’s parents had divorced and while her dad was amazing he hadn’t known what or how to raise two kids on his own. And if Barty couldn’t do it, how could Tommy?? He stayed too long. Let Lloyd stay too long. Muscle memory has him almost turning onto Loch Lora before remembering that Steve doesn’t live there anymore.

“Daddy? Where are we?” Bellamy asks, her big brown eyes looking around.

She has his eyes but Tommy likes to think she got the brown from Steve. That there was a tangible connection between them. He’s pulled over, car idling as he digs out his phone. Can’t stay here long, the neighbors get pissy, but he needs to look up Steve’s address. Dr Marnie would be disappointed in him, dropping by an old ex friend’s house unannounced. But even when they were on the outs Steve looked out for him. The pact made between Omegas never weakened.

“We’re in Hawkins, babydoll, daddy’s just gotten a little turned around is all.”

Plus Steve’s facebook profile is public for the world to see. Complete with address and place of employment. Steve’s a teacher nowadays. Tommy hadn’t dared look further than that. Didn’t have the right to, which makes just as little sense now as it did when he mentioned that to Dr Marnie. He’d done the same to Carol. Looked at that little About section, only addresses and place of work. Needed to see how they were doing. Carol is an accountant, or maybe a CPA, not that Tommy knows what the fuck that means. Finding the address he gets to driving.

It doesn’t take long to get the quaint little house. The outside is painted a cheery yellow the neighbors must hate or love. There are toys in the yard. This is it. He takes a deep breath, steps out of his shitty second hand car that barely fits his three daughters and all he packed for them, and starts the process of unloading the girls. They gather close around him, nervous about the new environment. Together the little family approaches the round green door. Knocks.

“Heya, Steve.”

——//——//——//——//

Hope you don’t mind the tag @busyheadkeepbreathing but you sounded super into this idea part two available

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

[i3utterflyeffect]

also. unfortunately alan immediately discovers that yellow is blind

(reblogs > likes)

[leashybebes]

tommy who absolutely jumps at the opportunity to do nice things for people (maybe one day he'll stop feeling like he has things - start with his existence and work down - to make up for). tommy who is so delighted to have the opportunity to be A Good Boyfriend because when has he had the chance to do that before? tommy taking every chance that he gets to look after evan and spoil him and treat him gently.

tommy, who cannot for a second fathom that he needs to let evan do the same - that evan would do it, and would relish in it just as much as tommy does. tommy who doesn't realise he's depriving evan of that, of chances to know him better, see him better.

tommy who never sees the traps he sets for himself until after they spring. tommy realising after he's blown up the best thing that ever happened to him because of a sudden, overwhelming fear that evan didn't know him that, oh. there's another one. that's on him.

[reginamillls]

okay but what about Tommy's accountant cousin dying and Tommy is the only living relative he has so a social worker appears at his door sometime after the breakup with a baby and Tommy doesn't know what to do?

and it leads to him knocking on someone's door in the late afternoon with a screaming baby and he's asking for help

Buck's help

[normalbrothers]

you know there's what helen mccrory said about how tommy and polly barely touch each other because they are too suspicious of the other, and how there's a scene where he throws an arm around her and both she and cm ended up going 'well. that's weird.' and it's this one, and i'm very glad they kept it, because fhdhg she really does look disturbed

[tyetyetyetyetyetye]

Anti-bucktommys: trying to find a way to convince everyone Tommy is awful and the worst person buck could be with with the strangest and most in-depth brainrot you've ever seen

Bucktommy shippers: yeah idk I think they've been a little too happy this season. Tommy should crash his helicopter. He should fight for his life while buck is forced to stand there and do nothing. That would be fun.

[eh-33]

I need Evan Buckley to be romanced. I need him to be a stuttering mess, acting like he’s never been woo’d before. I need to see him nervous and gain confidence in dating men.

Buck deserves this after all the relationships he’s had where he feels he needs to better himself to deserve his partner.

I want there to be at least a few episodes of him and Tommy together so that Bucks bisexuality can be an individual character story and not something linked to buddie.

Because honestly buck being bisexual matters more to me than Buddie being canon, so I would rather them honour this storyline and do it as well as they can than use it as a stepping stone to buddie and rush it.

Coming out stories where there is no angst and just the road to understanding themselves is not shown enough and 9-1-1 has an opportunity to show a man in his 30s discover himself with no (real) drama and just loving acceptance from his family.

[whineandcheese24]

really need a bucktommy date where buck surprises tommy with a home-cooked dinner. i just feel like it would be so tender.

[so-that-was-okay]

Sometimes, I think about Athena, stuck on a sinking cruise ship, thinking about Buck and how he'd have loved the action. She loves the boy so much.

You can't tell me Athena wouldn't harass and chase Tommy if he was the bad person buddies want him to be. No one from the 118 family would let Buck be the victim of an asshole.

[thehotpilot]

tommy kinard if u land that fuckin plane i fear i’ll never be cool about you again

[danielsarmand]

anyway tommy kinard i love you dearly and i will continue loving you UNLESS you prove me wrong. unless. not until. i am not waiting for you to disappoint me. i am not waiting for something to be deeply wrong with you. i am not waiting for your relationship with buck to be doomed by something you do. i have nothing against you and i cherish your presence in this story and i care about your feelings just as much as buck's and eddie's. kissing you on the forehead king

[colebegins]

i said this all in the tags of abigail’s post, but it was so long that i’m putting it in its own post

i completely understand where this breakup came from, and i am not upset with either of the characters involved in it. i appreciate the slight insight it gives into tommy’s lived experiences and his expectations, as well as the deep seated loneliness that he has alluded to in nearly every episode he has been in. the longing and the hope for connection and family and stability.

so yes, the breakup feels a bit self-sacrificial and self-destructive because he’s doing it now in an effort to protect his own heart. he thinks breaking things off now and dealing with that heartache now would be easier than waiting for it to ‘inevitably’ happen later when he is even more invested. and that makes sense!!! it does not come across, to me, as out of character at all. josh’s great speech even highlighted the scars that come along with queer people’s struggles (pre-glee) with themselves and with their relationships. there are so many experiences that could’ve left tommy scarred that would lead to this feeling that he cannot be buck’s last relationship. so this breakup, while it hurts, makes sense based on tommy’s reasonings, experiences, and conclusions he has come to.

but he also deserves for someone to prove him wrong.

my struggle with this breakup comes from the finality of the post-ep interviews. without the interviews, as a viewer who just saw the episode and is waiting for the next ones to come out without knowing any bts stuff or reading any articles, this would feel like a great path forward for buck to learn what he wants and to go for it — to fight for it.

buck discovering his bisexuality and being in a relationship with a man was never going to automatically solve all of buck’s issues with himself and with relationships, and specifically his place in relationships. but for the past 13 (?) episodes we have seen buck become more secure with himself and his space — the loft has had so many homey and cosy little decor changes, and it has been so interesting to see him feel more comfortable while making his place more comfortable. all of that makes the breakup feel sudden and unexpected, but that was the point. tommy surprised himself too, he even said so. they both felt comfortable and happy, but they also both have their own hangups. but also, they both actually want the same things. they both want love, stability, and mutual care, respect, and understanding. tommy thinks that buck will inevitably, accidentally, not maliciously, break his heart. and tommy does not think he can handle that, which i understand. buck has the opportunity to prove him wrong. but it seems (from interviews) that this is the last we will be seeing of tommy and their relationship.

now to take all of that, and have his next step be to just let this relationship go completely as he uses his old (self admitted) unhealthy coping strategies could be an interesting narrative arc to go down, but, for me, it would really only be worth it if he recognizes this old behavior coming back again, understanding where it’s coming from, and finds security in understanding what he wants. i want buck to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. no matter who that is with — be it tommy, eddie, or some other person he happens to meet later. no matter who he is with, he is bisexual, and i will always be thankful that we have had this journey of self-discovery with him (which i hope we will continue to see ore development of — would also love if they would actually use the word ‘bisexual’ on the show). buck deserves to have growth and stability within himself and in his relationships, which is very clearly something he wants. he deserves to have that after eight seasons.

at the end of the day though, i will still feel upset for this end to tommy’s story, because he also deserves to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. i hope he gets that one day. for now, that is what fan works are for.

[zappedbyzabka]

Devotion isn’t just for God, it’s for your boy too.

[bibewilderedandbuck]

What a brilliant idea for the 100th episode. Give that bisexual a man to kiss

[bidisasterevankinard]

Wip Wednesday

do I have the stage where I start new wips but barely write the one's I have because I'm super indecisive and not inspired? yes. let's hope soon I will be fine and work on my wips I want to work on. Anyway meet new wip where bucktommy will have long angst in their relationship because Tommy needs to grief "what ifs" with Sal he never thought about till he sees Sal as Captain of 118 (it's an au where Sal is a captain instead of Gerass)(it's only the start of the fic btw)

thanks to nonny @racerchix21 and this song (the title taken from the song and it's "I tried to go on like I never knew you"

Tommy knows it all should be in the past. In stolen kisses in bars they knew Gerrard and the team would never come too. In usually passionate and wild - almost never tender and sweet - sex. In secrets they shared under sheets, when they both knew that the moment their fabric cover was gone they couldn't talk about those moments of comfort and vulnerability they shared. In breakfast’s Sal made for him and his nonna's lasagna recipe Tommy cooked for the man. In wild dreams Tommy knew could never be a reality. Especially not when Sal changed stations and firstly their meetups were less and less frequent until they stopped after Sal’s wedding. 

And Tommy swears he thought he was over it. Over Sal. Over dreams of the future they could never share. But one look at the man whose appearance barely changed since Tommy last saw him five years ago, staying near 118 trucks the same way he always did, while talking with Chim, and all that got back at him. All the memories of stolen love and painful hope to be happy, proud and loved. Preferably by his “best friend”. By the one of the best men he ever met even if they could be rough with each other or rude or just wrong. Sal always came back with sorry, that Tommy knew was genuine. They were so wrong together, but also so wrongly perfect. So electric. Sal made him feel how almost no one could. Only his first crush Eric from the army, Sal and …

“Hey, handsome, sorry for the delay, Hen needed help to choose a present for Karen,” Evan kissed his cheeks, smiling like thousands of suns.

If Tommy didn’t know and was pretty acquainted with Evan’s quirks and little signs of his fatigue, he would never think the man just ended his 48 hour shift.

“It’s fine, baby.”

Tommy smiles and he hopes his inner turmoil of seeing an old friend is not shown on his face.

“Have you met my new captain yet?”

“No, but I don’t need to.”

Evan adorably tits his head and Tommy wants his heart to be so fast only because of it and the taste of Evan’s lip balm on his cheek, but he swears he can feel the taste of liquor he and Sal were drinking last time they kissed. Right before Sal asked Jennifer out on their first date.

“I worked with Sal. Even more than Chim and Hen,” Tommy says and Evan for a second frowns and then hits his face.

“And they were no less inseparable as you and Eddie,” Chim says, with the loud sound of gum bubbles breaking.

Tommy doesn’t know when he and Sal got closer to them, but he would really happy if they never see that Tommy was there at all. 

“God, of course. In my defense it was so long ago I just haven’t even thought that all three of you were a team.”

“Yeah, I left the station almost a decade ago and it feels like it was in another life, so it’s fine, Buck.” 

Sal smiles at his boyfriend and Tommy wants to make as much room between them as possible. Maybe it will help him to to separate all these feelings of worry and anxiety and love and confusion from the sight of the man he had loved for years, but had never had the opportunity to own his love completely for himself, never feeling that Sal had given him his heart, and a man who he knows is step away from get into his own chest and rip out his heart with all the vessels and give it to Tommy if he just says the word. Sal would never do it even if Tommy would beg

I was tagged by @tizniz @cal-daisies-and-briars @diazheartsbuckley @diazsdimples

Tagging @wikiangela @neverevan @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @evnnkinard @evansboyfriend @evanbegins @evanbi-ckley @repressedqueen @rogerzsteven @racerchix21 @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @kinard-buckley @loveyouanyway @lonelychicago @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @bi-buckrights @bewilderedbuckley @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to