#good person! Tommy

[inkstainedheartbeats]

What’s this? Another silly AU? (Please note silly does not mean this is gonna be angst free). Modern AU, Upside Down Events still happen, but I’m unsure if I wanna keep the deaths.

This now has a name: Learning to be Loved

It takes everything inside Tommy to not pull over on the side of the road and throw up. He left this town as quickly as he could. Wanted nothing to do with it, with the constant death, with his father and brothers. Leaving his mother, leaving the little plot of land where his sister sleeps was a blow to the gut but he needed to go. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, he ran because Hawkins would have been his death. And now here he is running back.

Ten years older and thousands in debt thanks to a degree he never even got to finish. Still, his eyes flick back to the three little girls sleeping in their seats, it wasn’t all bad. Sure Lloyd was probably the worst Alpha Tommy could have let knock him up, he was everything Tommy hated he had become in high school, but he had treated Tommy right at the start. He treated Tommy like an equal instead of the way most Alphas did here in Hawkins. They’d spent three years dancing around each other, two of them Tommy spent fixing all the shit in his head… okay, not all. Up until he fled he’d had a therapist visit every other Wednesday, but most of it. He recognized that painting ‘Nancy the Slut Wheeler’ was a shit thing to do, that spreading rumors that could get them hurt in their small, often backward ass, town was a morally indefensible thing to do. He’s grown. Has had to grow. He has children to raise and an Alpha who showed his true colors the moment Tommy got pregnant. Raging and throwing things, breaking things before turning toward Tommy. The baby couldn’t be his. He wouldn’t raise the bastard.

Only when the twins were born, a week and a half early Lloyd had come crawling back. Begging to be part of their lives. And like a fool Tommy had said yes. Carol’s parents had divorced and while her dad was amazing he hadn’t known what or how to raise two kids on his own. And if Barty couldn’t do it, how could Tommy?? He stayed too long. Let Lloyd stay too long. Muscle memory has him almost turning onto Loch Lora before remembering that Steve doesn’t live there anymore.

“Daddy? Where are we?” Bellamy asks, her big brown eyes looking around.

She has his eyes but Tommy likes to think she got the brown from Steve. That there was a tangible connection between them. He’s pulled over, car idling as he digs out his phone. Can’t stay here long, the neighbors get pissy, but he needs to look up Steve’s address. Dr Marnie would be disappointed in him, dropping by an old ex friend’s house unannounced. But even when they were on the outs Steve looked out for him. The pact made between Omegas never weakened.

“We’re in Hawkins, babydoll, daddy’s just gotten a little turned around is all.”

Plus Steve’s facebook profile is public for the world to see. Complete with address and place of employment. Steve’s a teacher nowadays. Tommy hadn’t dared look further than that. Didn’t have the right to, which makes just as little sense now as it did when he mentioned that to Dr Marnie. He’d done the same to Carol. Looked at that little About section, only addresses and place of work. Needed to see how they were doing. Carol is an accountant, or maybe a CPA, not that Tommy knows what the fuck that means. Finding the address he gets to driving.

It doesn’t take long to get the quaint little house. The outside is painted a cheery yellow the neighbors must hate or love. There are toys in the yard. This is it. He takes a deep breath, steps out of his shitty second hand car that barely fits his three daughters and all he packed for them, and starts the process of unloading the girls. They gather close around him, nervous about the new environment. Together the little family approaches the round green door. Knocks.

“Heya, Steve.”

——//——//——//——//

Hope you don’t mind the tag @busyheadkeepbreathing but you sounded super into this idea part two available

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

[i3utterflyeffect]

also. unfortunately alan immediately discovers that yellow is blind

(reblogs > likes)

[momotonescreaming]

There's just something about Tommy and Chim talking after the break up that itches my brain just right.

Like, Tommy assumes he'll never hear from Howie again. Yeah, he loves talking movies and music and references with him. It's always fun and light and their sense of humours mesh. He's really enjoyed being Howie's friend again. But he's Buck's brother-in-law. He'll maybe call Tommy up when he needs help - another unsanctioned flight to save someone - and then they'll fade back into distant ex-coworkers.

He lost touch with all of the 118 when he left for Harbour - and they have more reason to forget him now. He broke Buck's heart. Tommy supposes it doesn't matter that he was their friend as well, that he's not okay, that he broke his own heart in the process.

But Howie's texting him, and calling him, and actually staying in touch. Tommy doesn't say just how much it means to him. That someone stayed. Someone went after him, in a way. Tommy knows that Howie doesn't care about him the way he does the rest of the 118, that Tommy will always be on the outside, but he'll selfishly take this.

One day, when Chim comes round for drinks and a movie night - some classic 80's one they love to quote - they end up talking in the silence of Tommy's room once the credits stop rolling. Really talking.

And Tommy talks about the way Evan said he admired him. That he was proud of how cool and confident Tommy was. Of how Tommy was comfortable in himself and his journey. Except he isn't. He's not cool, he's not confident, he's not someone to be admired. He's not some paragon of gay rights. Gay pride. Someone who paved the way for those who came after. He's desperately wanting to be that confident and proud and admired person and feeling like he doesn't deserve it at all.

He doesn't deserve to be put on the pedestal Buck put him on.

And Chim talks a little about Tatiana. About stealing other's glory, other's stories, because he didn't have his own. He was never the one who did The Maneuver. He never even got a shot at the pedestal. So he was shrouded in other's glory, wrapped in her praise and excitement for things he didn't do.

It helps to hear it, Tommy thinks.

He tells him a little on how he and Maddie got together. How long it took, the ups and downs. No pressure, just lays it all out on the table. And so Tommy does as well.

Tommy admits that it felt like that if Buck did move in, if they did start the idea of forever together, all it would lead to was Buck realising that Tommy isn't the man he tries to be. Pretends to be. He's a man putting on the act, and as soon as he sees past it he's going to hate him. He's going to take back all love and care he gave Tommy and is going to snap his heart in two in the process.

He brought up marriage after he found out just how badly Tommy's previous engagement went. He asked Tommy to move into his loft when Tommy owns his own home. He can't even say he loves him. He's a man who loves research and he doesn't even know what the kinsey scale is.

Tommy's scared that Buck is going to finally research his sexuality, the queer community, history, and realise that Tommy has no part in that. That Tommy opened the doors, and it's time he stepped away.

No one who sees the real Tommy loves him. No one ever has, and he doubts it's going to start now. So he broke it off first, made it hurt, but on his terms. It's more managble that way.

Tommy bows his head, lump in his throat and eyes going misty. He feel's Howie's hand resting comfortingly on his back.

[normalbrothers]

you know there's what helen mccrory said about how tommy and polly barely touch each other because they are too suspicious of the other, and how there's a scene where he throws an arm around her and both she and cm ended up going 'well. that's weird.' and it's this one, and i'm very glad they kept it, because fhdhg she really does look disturbed

[tyetyetyetyetyetye]

Anti-bucktommys: trying to find a way to convince everyone Tommy is awful and the worst person buck could be with with the strangest and most in-depth brainrot you've ever seen

Bucktommy shippers: yeah idk I think they've been a little too happy this season. Tommy should crash his helicopter. He should fight for his life while buck is forced to stand there and do nothing. That would be fun.

[distractionpie]

Au where Abby and Tommy stay together/do get married but Tommy is still gay and hiding it and Abby still feels the life slipping out of her and they end up convincing each other that a third will reinvigorate the relationship and Buck, young and carefree and so eager to be flattered by the attention of these mature sexy people who surely have their lives more together than him, seems like the perfect unicorn to do it.

Except of course that a boyfriend was only ever a distraction rather than a solution to Abby's problems, Tommy hasn't worked through any of his issues and is just using Abby and Buck both as covers in different directions, so Buck gets double the life lessons but also double the heartbreak because the details can change but the tragedy stays the same.

[eh-33]

I need Evan Buckley to be romanced. I need him to be a stuttering mess, acting like he’s never been woo’d before. I need to see him nervous and gain confidence in dating men.

Buck deserves this after all the relationships he’s had where he feels he needs to better himself to deserve his partner.

I want there to be at least a few episodes of him and Tommy together so that Bucks bisexuality can be an individual character story and not something linked to buddie.

Because honestly buck being bisexual matters more to me than Buddie being canon, so I would rather them honour this storyline and do it as well as they can than use it as a stepping stone to buddie and rush it.

Coming out stories where there is no angst and just the road to understanding themselves is not shown enough and 9-1-1 has an opportunity to show a man in his 30s discover himself with no (real) drama and just loving acceptance from his family.

[whineandcheese24]

really need a bucktommy date where buck surprises tommy with a home-cooked dinner. i just feel like it would be so tender.

[hardly-an-escape]

what if the Lakers tickets weren't actually a misstep on Tommy's part? what Buck confessed, very early on, a little ashamed, that he actually doesn't like basketball at all and really was just trying to get Tommy's attention when he went to the pickup game? what if Tommy just smiled and said something like, maybe you'd feel differently if we were on the same team next time?

what if Tommy, who is so generous with his time and his teaching, went out of his way to gently introduce Buck to the reasons why he enjoys the game? what if Tommy carefully and deliberately overwrote whatever negative associations Buck had with basketball and turned it into something fun, something they did together, something they shared?

what if he found ways to appeal to Buck's love for trivia, for history, for facts and figures? to connect it to things he was already interested in? what if they started watching games on TV together and talking about player stats and tracking league trends and making predictions?

what if basketball became their thing? what if those tickets weren't a sign that they didn't know each other as well as they thought? what if they were, in fact, a symbol of everything they shared, everything they had built together over six months?

[so-that-was-okay]

Sometimes, I think about Athena, stuck on a sinking cruise ship, thinking about Buck and how he'd have loved the action. She loves the boy so much.

You can't tell me Athena wouldn't harass and chase Tommy if he was the bad person buddies want him to be. No one from the 118 family would let Buck be the victim of an asshole.

[thehotpilot]

tommy kinard if u land that fuckin plane i fear i’ll never be cool about you again

[danielsarmand]

anyway tommy kinard i love you dearly and i will continue loving you UNLESS you prove me wrong. unless. not until. i am not waiting for you to disappoint me. i am not waiting for something to be deeply wrong with you. i am not waiting for your relationship with buck to be doomed by something you do. i have nothing against you and i cherish your presence in this story and i care about your feelings just as much as buck's and eddie's. kissing you on the forehead king

[colebegins]

i said this all in the tags of abigail’s post, but it was so long that i’m putting it in its own post

i completely understand where this breakup came from, and i am not upset with either of the characters involved in it. i appreciate the slight insight it gives into tommy’s lived experiences and his expectations, as well as the deep seated loneliness that he has alluded to in nearly every episode he has been in. the longing and the hope for connection and family and stability.

so yes, the breakup feels a bit self-sacrificial and self-destructive because he’s doing it now in an effort to protect his own heart. he thinks breaking things off now and dealing with that heartache now would be easier than waiting for it to ‘inevitably’ happen later when he is even more invested. and that makes sense!!! it does not come across, to me, as out of character at all. josh’s great speech even highlighted the scars that come along with queer people’s struggles (pre-glee) with themselves and with their relationships. there are so many experiences that could’ve left tommy scarred that would lead to this feeling that he cannot be buck’s last relationship. so this breakup, while it hurts, makes sense based on tommy’s reasonings, experiences, and conclusions he has come to.

but he also deserves for someone to prove him wrong.

my struggle with this breakup comes from the finality of the post-ep interviews. without the interviews, as a viewer who just saw the episode and is waiting for the next ones to come out without knowing any bts stuff or reading any articles, this would feel like a great path forward for buck to learn what he wants and to go for it — to fight for it.

buck discovering his bisexuality and being in a relationship with a man was never going to automatically solve all of buck’s issues with himself and with relationships, and specifically his place in relationships. but for the past 13 (?) episodes we have seen buck become more secure with himself and his space — the loft has had so many homey and cosy little decor changes, and it has been so interesting to see him feel more comfortable while making his place more comfortable. all of that makes the breakup feel sudden and unexpected, but that was the point. tommy surprised himself too, he even said so. they both felt comfortable and happy, but they also both have their own hangups. but also, they both actually want the same things. they both want love, stability, and mutual care, respect, and understanding. tommy thinks that buck will inevitably, accidentally, not maliciously, break his heart. and tommy does not think he can handle that, which i understand. buck has the opportunity to prove him wrong. but it seems (from interviews) that this is the last we will be seeing of tommy and their relationship.

now to take all of that, and have his next step be to just let this relationship go completely as he uses his old (self admitted) unhealthy coping strategies could be an interesting narrative arc to go down, but, for me, it would really only be worth it if he recognizes this old behavior coming back again, understanding where it’s coming from, and finds security in understanding what he wants. i want buck to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. no matter who that is with — be it tommy, eddie, or some other person he happens to meet later. no matter who he is with, he is bisexual, and i will always be thankful that we have had this journey of self-discovery with him (which i hope we will continue to see ore development of — would also love if they would actually use the word ‘bisexual’ on the show). buck deserves to have growth and stability within himself and in his relationships, which is very clearly something he wants. he deserves to have that after eight seasons.

at the end of the day though, i will still feel upset for this end to tommy’s story, because he also deserves to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. i hope he gets that one day. for now, that is what fan works are for.

[momotonescreaming]

Modern au Steve not being into video games is out

Modern au Steve who's so good at first person shooters that he annihilates the party every time is in

[zappedbyzabka]

Devotion isn’t just for God, it’s for your boy too.