#cows don't live forever
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Batcows and millionaires
Of all the things he could do on a Wednesday night, Danny didn't think he'd be following the last wishes of a ghost cow but life takes its twists and turns.
With Wulf's help and a lot of persuasion he managed to translate what the spirit was trying to tell him, apparently "Batcow" wasn't meant to be a ghost, but neither did she wish to leave her former owner alone.
She was worried about him, how he would take it, and refused to leave until the Ghost King himself promised to take care of Damian and let him know she was in a better place. Again, Danny could have refused her request, but he thought about Cujo, he thought about how he followed him everywhere, about the time the GIW captured him and almost killed him, and he understood a little, so he agreed.
So, the Ghost King ended up in the back of a mansion (of course the owner had to be a millionaire, damn it, couldn't he be a farmer?), watching Damian Wayne stare at the barn with melancholy. Danny noticed his hands were shaking.
With a sigh, the halfa landed beside him, wondering how he might approach the subject. He obviously hadn't expected a sword on his shoulder but hey, he'd initiated conversations in worse ways.
#dpxdc#ghost king danny#I like to think that Batcow was the first animal that Damian rescued#and therefore the one he is close with#Batcow is a very persistent ghost#she was worried about how Damian would take her departure#cows don't live forever#Damian was very affected#he went to the barn many times out of habit#Until he noticed Batcow wasn't there#Damian loves all his animals but Batcow was the first#her leaving leaves him very bewildered#dp x dc#dc x dp#Danny scared Damian off and ended up getting stabbed#Damian is obviously upset about his home invasion#Danny doesn't know how to comfort people
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Did it take me about two weeks to blow through 160 episodes of Magnus Archives (first time listening)? Yes.
Did it take me another week to listen to the next 30? Also yes.
Was I trying to avoid spoilers while listening? Yes.
Did I still glimpse some post-200 comments that, while somewhat contradictory, seemed to avarage to 💥ANGUISHED SCREAMING💢? Also yes.
Am I now stalling because I dread what awaits me at the end of episode 200? VERY MUCH YES
Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze on this wretched thing and grant me safe passage or something, I'm scared 😭 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️
#the magnus archives#tma season 5#I'm fucking terrified#I know this is a horror story#I KNOW this#I know that happy ending is not something that happens in this world#EVER#but at the same time I still cling to that most insidious of emotions: hope#and I swear if My Boys don't get to save the wolrd and retire together to a nice little cottage with Good Cows living one field over#I'm going to be so ANGRY#I'll be SO ANGRY you guys#I'll go completely berserk and eat my computer and send a vidoe of it to Jonathan Sims and it'll haunt him forever and ever#and ever#[end statement]
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fuck i’m on my period i got my first hetalia dream
#i just witnessed alfred f. jones getting ready to leave planet earth to go live on the moon#and there was this huge rocket filled with cute cows and some of his non-human friends#don't ask me why but they all helped him move his stuff#the whole nations gang was happy sobbing except arthur who was about to commit suicide#at the mere thought that alfred was going to live forever on the moon#and that’s it. endless bittersweet moments#ok i’m done#mine
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#no need to read or react just needed to rant about my brain a bit#the next two weeks are supposed to be super exciting with BC giving us a new look and song and music video#it's umk week and my favorite for once has historically great odds of winning and a good chance to do well at eurovision as well#I'm going to see umk live with my dear sister and stay at a hotel so it's like a mini-getout and then I'm going to stockholm and oslo gigs#this is supposed to be best times of the year so far but my brain decided we can't have any of that :)#last year at this same time I got hit hard with depression and the anxiety I've always had got even worse#it got to the point that nothing made me happy or feel anything at all and I just cried all day for weeks#everything about UMK night was blurry and sad because I wasn't talking to my bestie who I've watched eurovision with for 10 years#I just started crying during the Dark Side/ Bad Idea opening and the results felt like nothing#I'll always assiociate Bad Idea with my depression because it was playing on the radio in the nurse's office when I got my meds#anyway I can feel that same darkness crawling back to my brain right now and I'm very scared#my brain decides I don't deserve to be happy and screams about how unloveable and ridiculous and embarrassing and ugly I am#it isn't helping that Joel keeps reposting the most model-looking tiktokers because I always feel a hot gush of shame run through me#and everytime I see a pic of any of their blonde skinny young gfs I just wanna kms#now it's gotten to a point that the voice in my head yells at me that I don't deserve Bc or their music and I should cancel my gig trip#because they wouldn't wanna see a disgusting cow myself being so near the stage not to mention ask for a pic or autograph#and I should just hide in my apartment forever#and everyone who has ever been nice to me is either doing that out of pity or making fun of me behind my back#I can't take this anymore#delete later
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Astro Notes : Short N Sweet - The power lilith holds <3
Lilith in the 1st - Very strong personalities. Gifted in using the eyes to seduce others. Magnetic. Can fight the demons off of you so please be weary of getting to close if you don't want them to see what hides beneath the surface. There angelic, believe it or not. They're not here to see the world as you see it, they have a taboo personality, yes, but its also because they must learn how to live for themselves and not for anyone else.
Lilith in the 2nd - Cash cow. Can basically get any man to give them what they want. They have to be comfortable in getting under peoples skin, because they can trigger people with how they talk. Insensitive? Not exactly. Just doesn't budge and cares to be 'nice'.
Lilith in the 3rd - Creative freaks. Can use the mind in a million ways, but they still seek out one thing that works for them as they are very passionate people and whatever keeps their attention the most they'll go at it forever. They are use to the attention from people since primary school. So they like to hide a lot. They have a weird mind and they don't care to share it with too many people. If they ever considered writing, they could make some pretty interesting stuff. Sibling rivalries are a thing here.
Lilith in the 4th - Tumulous relationships with family & friends. It's because they're the outcast of the group. I mean, they know a lot and they can't stand for nothing but the truth. But sometimes the truth kills, even when they don't mean for it to be. Can be a hard knock life but they make it worth something. They're no angel, just the universe in the flesh. <3
Lilith in the 5th - Captivating presence. Lovely auras, and amazing bodies. Could be good at dancing. Could be a lil promiscuous. Could be a little dangerous. You never know. Secretive/private about their affairs.. But the stories they have I promise you its like reading a novel. Naturally sensual & can't get enough of them, even if you tried ;)
Lilith in the 6th - Goes hard for groups that aren't seen enough. Can have jealous coworkers or people who want to annoy them and get them out of character. Could also have sensual experiences with co workers. Demands compensation. Could be extremely well liked or hated no in between.
Lilith in the 7th - Spicy individuals. People love to hate them. Could have bisexual allegations from time to time. Most people like to be around them but despise them after a while. Sweet as a pie though, most people allow the rumors to get to them but usually these people are naturally sweet and empathetic. Popular loners.
Lilith in the 8th - Strong personalities. Capable of seeing beyond the veil. Has issues with society due to their daring nature but they do come out ready and swinging. Hypnotic presence. Can heal as much as they can poison, so be careful wit em ;)
Lilith in the 9th - Very beautiful spirits who are the epitome of being carefree. The universe takes them wherever their hearts want to go, and the journey is always something that last a life time. Being connected to someone with this placement could give you the feelings of something amazing. Always hold their hand tight because once their gone its over.
Lilith in the 10th - Dreamy auras. Have a knack for the public and the audience can feel their raw energy. Have haters from all area codes, this just makes them more confident. They know how to appease society well, and they can take on roles that others are too afraid to. This is great placement for lilith to be in.
Lilith in the 11th - Could had to fight to keep their self esteem in check. Due to being outcasted alot, they could of been the scapegoat for a lot of reasons that didn't pertain to them much. With time, they learn to accept that their energy isn't for anyone, and that their value is more than what you can define it. Helpful sweethearts who just wants to be around community that gets them.
Lilith in the 12th - The dream world is a nightmare. My apologies to y'all cause I'm suppose to start it off a little sweet. But this is placement of a witch/warlock. You guys have many gifts that go past the ordinary. And you more than likely come up with some ish down the line. There is a time where you will undergo a lot of spiritual refinement to keep your head going. Don't be afraid of what shows up, it might teach you something!
#im so sorry to lilith in the 12th#astrology thoughts#astrology theories#thoughts#love#astrology#astrology observations#tropical astrology#astro observations#spirituality#astro knowledge#short n sweet
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Many people, especially USAmericans, are very resistant to knowing the plants and living according to the ways of the plants. They lash out with a mix of arrogance and fear: "Don't you know what bad things would happen if we lived a different way? There is a REASON for living this way. Would you have us go Back—backward to the time without vaccines or antibiotics????"
Ah, yes, the two immutable categories that all proposals for change fit into: Backward Change and Forward Change! Either we must invent a a futuristic, entirely new solution with SCIENCE and TECHNOLOGY that further industrializes and increases the productivity of our world, or we must give up vaccines and antibiotics and become starving illiterate medieval peasants.
Every human practice anywhere on Earth that has declined, stopped, or become displaced by another practice, was clearly objectively worse than whatever replaced it. You see, the only possible reason a way of life could decline or disappear is that it sucked and had it coming anyway!!! Pre-industrial human history is worthless except as a cautionary tale about how miserable we would all be without *checks notes* factories, fossil fuels and colonialism. Obviously!
Anyway, who do you think benefits from the idea that pesticide-dependent, corporate-controlled industrialized monoculture farming liberates us all from spending our short, painful lives as filthy, miserable peasants toiling in the fields?
First of all, I think it's silly to act like farming is a uniquely awful way to live. I can't believe I have to say this, but the awful part of being a medieval peasant was the oppression and poverty, not the fact that harvesting wheat is a lot of work and cows are stinky. Same goes for farm labor in the modern USA: the bad part is that most people working farms are undocumented migrant workers that are getting treated like garbage and who can't complain about it because their boss will rat them out to ICE.
Work is just work. Any work has dignity when the people doing it are paid properly and not being abused. Abuse and human trafficking is rampant in agriculture, but industrialization and consolidation of small farms into gigantic corporate owned farms sure as hell isn't making it better.
Is working on a farm somehow more miserable than working in a factory, a fast food restaurant, or a retail store? Give me a break. "At least I'm not doing physical labor in the sun," you say, at your job where you're forced to stand on concrete for 8 hours and develop chronic pain by age 24.
When you read about small farmers going out of business because of huge corporations, none of them are going "Yay! Now that Giant Corporation has swallowed up all the farms in the area, we can all enjoy the luxurious privileges of the industrial era, like working RETAIL!" What you do see a lot of is farmers bitterly grieving the loss of their way of life.
And also, the fact is, sustainable forms of polyculture farming that create a functional ecosystem made up of many different useful and edible plants are actually way MORE efficient at producing food than a monoculture. The reason we don't do it as much, is that it can't be industrialized where everything is harvested with machines.
Some places folks are starting to get the idea and planting two crops together in alternating rows, letting the mutualistic relationship between plants boost the yields of both, but indigenous people in many parts of the world have been doing this stuff basically forever. I read about a style of agroforestry from Central America that has TWENTY crops all together on the same field.
Our modern system of farming is necessary for feeding the world? Bullshit! Our technology is very powerful and useful, but our harmful monocultures, dangerous pesticides, and wasteful usage of land and resources are making the system very inefficient and severely degrading nature's ability to provide for us.
What is needed, is a SYNTHESIS of the power and insights of technology and science, with the ancient wisdom and knowledge gained by closely and carefully observing Nature. We do not need to reject one, to embrace the other! They should be friends!
Our system thinks land is only used for one thing at a time. Even our science often thinks this way. A corn field has the purpose of producing corn, and no other purpose, so all other plants in the corn must be killed, and it must be a monoculture of only corn.
But this means that the symbiosis between different plants that help each other is destroyed, so we must pollute the earth with fertilizers that wash into bodies of water and cause eutrophication, where algae explode in number and turn the water to green goo. Nature always has variety and diversity with many plants sharing the same space. It supports much more animal life (we are animals!) this way. The Three Sisters" are the perfect example of mutualism between plants being used in an agricultural environment. The planting of corn, beans, and squash together has been traditionally used clear across the North American continent.
And in North America, the weeds we have here are mostly edible plants too. Some of them were even domesticated themselves! Imagine a garden where every weed that pops up is also an edible or otherwise useful crop, and therefore a welcomed friend! So when weeds like Amaranth and Sunflower pop up in your field, that should not be a cause for alarm, but rather the system of symbiosis working as it should.
A field of one single crop is limited in how much it can produce, because one crop fits into a single niche in what should be a whole ecosystem, and worse, it requires artificial inputs to make up for what the rest of the plant community would normally provide. The field with twenty crops does not produce the same amount as the monoculture field divided in twenty ways, but instead produces much more while being a habitat for wild animals, because each plant has its own niche.
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May we please have more crumbs of farmtale sans?
I wanna follow the trail to the source 👀
I'm SO glad that everyone seems to like farmer Sans as much as I do. It warms my heart to see people appreciating the bumpkin.
Here's more romantic-leaning headcanons.
Though his giving love languages are gifts and acts of service, his receiving love languages are very different. He likes doing stuff for his loved ones but he's incredibly awkward when you do stuff for him; he appreciates it, of course, but he won't know how to react.
He prefers receiving quality time, and touch.
Offer to accompany him on one of the many long car rides that come with living in the country. You can listen to music together on the shoddy radio. Do the early morning farm rounds with him! You don't even have to help- he might actively stop you from helping, bundling you in his coat because he's worried about you getting too cold or tiring yourself out. He'll see you nodding off while standing (it's 5am) and he'll scoop you up so you can sleep against his shoulder. He only needs one hand to do his chores anyway.
What matters to him is you're there.
Alternatively, give him casual gentle touch. It drives him wild. Put your hand on his arm when you laugh at his jokes, bump him when he's being teasing, nudge his knee with yours. Lean on him for any reason. He's good at masking how flustered he is in the moment but later, he'll be hiding his face in his pillow while recalling it.
A gentle touch on his cheekbone will have him flustered for days.
He's unintentionally a great flirt. He has a very soothing voice, and if he speaks softly enough completely normal polite sentences sound incredibly hot. He'll wink and say "i'm likin' the new hair, dolly. s'real cute." and you'll be reeling.
During winter, you'll pretty much never be alone. Either you're at his and Papyrus' place, or they're at yours. They're worried about you feeling lonely.
He tells his plants all about you. He's even named his favourite flowers after you. He'll take that secret to his grave.
It's not just Papyrus who's vying for you and Sans to end up together. It's pretty much the whole monster community. Sans, the quiet fella who's never enthusiastic about anything at all, is head over heels for the new human in town? A good love story is ALL the rage somewhere nothing ever happens. You've got an entire community desperate to hear wedding bells.
Sans is completely unaware of the fact that you might think he's hot while working. You see a confident, strong, sexy skeleton with his sleeves rolled up over his big arms. Meanwhile the second he notices you're approaching, he's sniffing his shirt because he's self conscious of how intensely he smells of cows and sweat.
Having just said he doesn't do great with receiving gifts... if you cook something for him he'll love you forever.
He's prone to jealousy. It doesn't show, but he'll pout if he feels like someone is stealing your attention. Time is a valuable currency in the countryside and he doesn't like when someone steals yours from him.
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The BFG by Roald Dahl (1982)
Captured by a giant! The BFG is no ordinary bone-crunching giant. He is far too nice and jumbly. It's lucky for Sophie that he is. Had she been carried off in the middle of the night by the Bloodbottler, the Fleshlumpeater, the Bonecruncher, or any of the other giants-rather than the BFG-she would have soon become breakfast.
When Sophie hears that they are flush-bunking off in England to swollomp a few nice little chiddlers, she decides she must stop them once and for all. And the BFG is going to help her!
Graceling Realm by Kristen Cashore (2008-2022)
Graceling tells the story of the vulnerable-yet-strong Katsa, who is smart and beautiful and lives in the Seven Kingdoms where selected people are born with a Grace, a special talent that can be anything at all. Katsa's Grace is killing. As the king's niece, she is forced to use her extreme skills as his brutal enforcer. Until the day she meets Prince Po, who is Graced with combat skills, and Katsa's life begins to change. She never expects to become Po's friend. She never expects to learn a new truth about her own Grace--or about a terrible secret that lies hidden far away . . . a secret that could destroy all seven kingdoms with words alone.
Oz by L. Frank Baum (1900-1920)
Join Dorothy and her little dog Toto on the yellow brick road, as they set off to explore the magical Land of Oz. Can they find the Wizard, defeat the Wicked Witch of the West, and return to Kansas?
Stardust by Neil Gaiman (1997)
Catch a fallen star . . .
Tristran Thorn promised to bring back a fallen star. So he sets out on a journey to fulfill the request of his beloved, the hauntingly beautiful Victoria Forester--and stumbles into the enchanted realm that lies beyond the wall of his English country town. Rich with adventure and magic, Stardust is one of master storyteller Neil Gaiman's most beloved tales, and the inspiration for the hit movie.
Inkworld by Cornelia Funke (2003-2023)
One cruel night, Meggie's father reads aloud from a book called INKHEART-- and an evil ruler escapes the boundaries of fiction and lands in their living room. Suddenly, Meggie is smack in the middle of the kind of adventure she has only read about in books. Meggie must learn to harness the magic that has conjured this nightmare. For only she can change the course of the story that has changed her life forever.
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (1997)
At birth, Ella is inadvertently cursed by an imprudent young fairy named Lucinda, who bestows on her the "gift" of obedience. Anything anyone tells her to do, Ella must obey. Another girl might have been cowed by this affliction, but not feisty Ella: "Instead of making me docile, Lucinda's curse made a rebel of me. Or perhaps I was that way naturally." When her beloved mother dies, leaving her in the care of a mostly absent and avaricious father, and later, a loathsome stepmother and two treacherous stepsisters, Ella's life and well-being seem to be in grave peril. But her intelligence and saucy nature keep her in good stead as she sets out on a quest for freedom and self-discovery as she tries to track down Lucinda to undo the curse, fending off ogres, befriending elves, and falling in love with a prince along the way. Yes, there is a pumpkin coach, a glass slipper, and a happily ever after, but this is the most remarkable, delightful, and profound version of Cinderella you'll ever read.
The Witches by Roald Dahl (1983)
This is not a fairy-tale. This is about real witches. Real witches don't ride around on broomsticks. They don't even wear black cloaks and hats. They are vile, cunning, detestable creatures who disguise themselves as nice, ordinary ladies. So how can you tell when you're face to face with one? Well, if you don't know yet you'd better find out quickly-because there's nothing a witch loathes quite as much as children and she'll wield all kinds of terrifying powers to get rid of them.
The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan (2010-2012)
Since their mother's death, Carter and Sadie have become near strangers. While Sadie has lived with her grandparents in London, her brother has traveled the world with their father, the brilliant Egyptologist, Dr. Julius Kane. One night, Dr. Kane brings the siblings together for a "research experiment" at the British Museum, where he hopes to set things right for his family. Instead, he unleashes the Egyptian god Set, who banishes him to oblivion and forces the children to flee for their lives. Soon, Sadie and Carter discover that the gods of Egypt are waking, and the worst of them--Set?has his sights on the Kanes. To stop him, the siblings embark on a dangerous journey across the globe -- a quest that brings them ever closer to the truth about their family, and their links to a secret order that has existed since the time of the pharaohs.
Discworld by Terry Pratchett (1983-2015)
In the beginning there was… a turtle.
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different.
Particularly as it’s carried through space on the back of a giant turtle.
It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
Unfortunately, the person charged with maintaining that survival in the face of robbers, mercenaries and, well, Death, is a spectacularly inept wizard…
Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor (2011-2014)
Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.
In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low.
And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war.
Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages—not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out.
When one of the strangers—beautiful, haunted Akiva—fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?
#best fantasy book#poll#the bfg#graceling realm#oz#stardust#inkworld#ella enchanted#the witches#the kane chronicles#discworld#daughter of smoke and bone
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fiddleford mcgucket is so AUUUUGHFHSHSGFJ like he is crazy he is a silly goose. just a guy from tennessee who knows how to build literally anything and wanted to make tech to improve peoples lives first like mf built the first portable laptop and cell phone and got NO credit. he wanted to make robot legs cuz he didn't wanna walk but imagine if he was able to actually make some as mobility aid anyways i think about that a lot
that one time ford suggested to gather the cute little living minerals to help them lead them out the cave tunnels while fiddleford instead just picked them up and banged them together to relight the lantern and they all just scattered and one bit ford. he's so smart <3
weird cows producing weird milk that might be dangerous for human consumption? fidds fuckin drank that shit straight out the bucket. and i think he took it with him the rest of the way cuz he dramatically spit it out upon seeing cso
hes like a chihuahua to me he just stands there and pathetically shakes but then he also gets really feisty and bites. he canonically growls as an old man
how many gifts has fiddleford given ford at this point? like hes given him an axolotl, handmade gloves, a handmade snow globe, a custom laptop, squash with a human face, essentially his life. "hey what is the universe was a hologram" had the trajectory of his life changed forever. LIKE BEFORE BACKUPSMORE HE NEVER EVEN DRANK COFFEE and then ford is just "oh yeah i gave him like 15 cups or something"
AUGH THE GLOVES AND THE SNOW GLOBE..... "gee ford how come you get TWO presents" says emma may with nothing. LIKE HIM AND FORD HAD SUCH A GREAT CHRISTMAS AFTER THE KRAMPUS THING BUT LIKE I FEEL BAD FOR TATE MAN AND YALL ALREADY KNOW MCGUCKET CARES ABOUT HIS SON SO GODDAMN MUCH
(violently cries)
his ass is NOT afraid to use the memory gun on people like hes made people build the portal and the bunker for free and wiped their memories and hasnt been afraid to wipe ford's too like damn man. hes a little too trigger happy. he also made an entire cult because of it and then forgot he made an entire cult
he made the bunker security room. he decided it would be a good idea to crush intruders to death. not to mention all the destructive robots hes made in his crazy old man era. i love him at his best and his worst your honor
we salute 45th president mcgucket, gave out free robot spiders. and he prevented the entire covid pandemic. it's so funny to me cuz he took over northwest manor first and then the white house. i would be fine if the whole world had one ruler and it was mcgucket and you know he would find a way to turn himself into an immortal robot he will NEVER die
he's married to a racoon. has not even questioned his marriage once. that racoon is tate's step mom and i don't even think he questions it at this point either. we salute first lady of the united states raccoon wife
also give it up for parallel fiddleford!! literally from the canon "everything went right" au. portal wouldn't exist without our fidds and the quantum destabilizer wouldn't exist without parallel fidds give it up for all two canon fiddlefords carrying ford 🙏 anyways where's all the au content of that specific universe—
not to mention mcgucket's entire story arc which i really cannot put into words rn in this dumb post because its so AAUUUGH you feel me?
anyways yeah. this post is absolutely not coherent but i just think fiddleford mcgucket is neat and underrated (and as much as i love fiddauthor/fiddleauthor/fordsquared/fordford/banjoportal/etc. i feel like he's getting stuck solely in shipping LET HIM BE HIS OWN GUY PLEASE). also thank you book of bill for existing because it made me remember gravity falls was a thing i was obsessed with as a kid and looking back at everything as an adult is CRAZYYY
okay peace out love you mcgucket stans
#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#old man mcgucket#mac speaks#book of bill#this is not a website dot com#← some info from both of them#mostly from journal 3 but do people even tag that
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john chapters dashboard simulator
🍉 thegildedflower follow
It's an honour to blog the end of the world with you all
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localcryptid 🔁 gaydesandpersephone
🦋 gaydesandpersephone follow
why is everyone more upset about the cows and not the actual people he killed
🕯️localcryptid follow
because cows offer something of value to society and cops don't
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🌕 hewhobecamethesun follow
x
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🏴☠️ edsbonnet follow
oh my god it's not funny that he killed so many living creatures?? killing cows should be considered a serious red flag for the love of god. cows are intelligent animals. they can problem solve. they have best friends. stop memeing about this
#new zealand #cows
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🍋 seriousperilforward 🔁 biunderland98
🍋🟩 biunderland98 follow
Why take it out on the cows though?
🍋 seriousperilfoward follow
the cows were spies for the government, obviously
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🥁 gflipsource follow
well of course he used sheep
#kiwi mutuals please don't unfollow I love you I swear #new zealand
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❓️ pollsotd 🔁 hewhobecamethesun
❓️ pollsotd follow
given the discourse it is time we settle this once and for all. vote now or forever hold your peace.
🌕 hewhobecamethesun follow
he's literally not a necromancer, he's a scientist who discovered new elements
#propaganda
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🌜 dulciescollins follow
hillo yewchewb todey I'm redickorating my necromantic lair
🏔 abby-howells follow
you're just jealous you still have the union jack on your flag
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🌕 hewhobecamethesun follow
idk elon musk's involvement feels like a red flag
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🌕 hewhobecamethesun follow
they cut my funding I'm gonna [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] blow up this entire planet
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#the locked tomb#john gaius#I think john would appreciate the self-destructive nature and cycles of revenge in the radiant emperor#in a I relate to these characters a normal amount 🤡 way#also I don't know enough about homestuck for the perfect homestuck joke I'm sure exists. alas.#I did not check any urls any resemblance to real urls is purely coincidence. except for those I stole from my friends#hello darling rapha kenzie and meg I hope you don't mind giving you cameos when I ran out of url ideas or wanted to make a cowspy joke#in my heart nz has the laser kiwi flag by the time john blows up the world. at least the silver fern flag or something.
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Yan Clown/Circus + Imaginary Friend Darling Blurb
Throughout life, friends come and go, but you - were always the first.
Things were simple in the beginning. Sit with that lonely kid at the playground, wipe their face with your sleeves, and ask if they wanted to be friends. They always said yes. You were inseparable. Playing until streetlights came on plus a seat saved for you at the dinner table when they reluctantly returned home. The biggest fears you faced where the monsters under the bed and the dark... then came school, homework, the future. Your playdates became so far and few, they put in the efforts to make new friends and you were so happy for them.
"Y/n? Who's that? Quit talking to yourself and come hang out with us."
But none of them ever wanted to be yours. Your friend was never home anymore and when they were it was always school work or video games taking their attention. Your place at the table was given to someone else. They'd gradually drift away from speaking to you and it was like you never existed in the first place to them, and maybe you never did - so you left. Back to that empty that existed before it all. There, you remembered all your friends. All your precious memories and the treasures they gave you their parents questioned them about when they disappeared. You hated it there. You didn't want to reminisce on the good times - it only lead to wordless goodbyes. Why - why did they always leave you behind?
"I got invited to a slumber party this weekend... Everyone turned out to be so nice once I gave them a chance like you told me to.... You'll... always be my best friend, but I have real ones now. I'm not a kid anymore - and I can't live in a fantasy world forever."
Of course you always knew - but did your time together really mean nothing? The smiles and tears, joys and fears - were those fake too? This was how life for you went and has gone your entire path. Make a new friend, wait for them to make their own, force yourself to forget, and repeat. You never, ever blamed them for abandoning you. It was your biggest dream to see your friends go out in the world and do all the things you rambled about for hours - you just wished you could've been their when they made their dreams come true. If they could make those fantasies reality, why couldn't you be real too them? It's not fair-
"Hey! You gonna put your raspberry in the square yet? I don't mind waiting cuz you're really cute - but I've eaten most of the blueberries already and if I eat one more I won't have enough for a win."
A new friend - you kept them waiting, lost in your thoughts like that. There's something different about this one... They're a lot bigger than your old friends and dress strange just like those funny people in shows. How old are they?
"28..... Is my favorite number because that's how many waffles I can eat before throwing up. I dunno my age really, I like a lot of candles on my pie so it's hard to remember. I'm probably waaaaaay older - or younger, but I'm definitely not younger than eighteen because I get a new doll every year - and there's a ton. Hey, when's your birthday so we can get your collection started?"
An adult - An adult can see you, but why?
"Hmmm, I dunno how you got in here either. I was just thinking about how great it would be to have someone to eat all these waffles with since I made 29 today - and poof you appeared outta nowhere. You gotta so me that trick eventually - wanna be pals? I'll give you... a quarter, no- half the stack if ya stick around. My name's Gus. Gus the clown."
A clown... Alot of your friends loved those, others were terrified. This one reminded you alot of them. So silly and carefree, just like they always were before reality kicked in. It was never that way for Gus. You'll never forget the shocked look on their face when you told them chocolate milk didn't come from brown cows. They serenaded you with songs detailing your adventures together and nearly had a heart attack when you played peekaboo together which they later tried to play off as good acting - the tear smudges in their paint was just from hot how was is.
At the same time, Gus was far more mature they let on. They fantasized about finding the missing piece to their act and heart, and hopefully marrying that special someone someday. They were all smiles - but as soon as someone got hurt they knew when to drop the act and when to use it to their advantage. You prayed the day they found someone they wouldn't ditch you like everyone else.
It turned out there were a lot more like Gus. True to their status as a performer, they worked and lived in a traveling circus with others who were accepting of you - and had the eyes to see you. They never doubted your existence like parents used to and believed near ever word Gus said even when at the point in time you were nothing more than the ramblings of a mad-clown, and greeted you in kind. Overtime, you became corporal for these performers too and the brief hellos turned to bear hugs thrust upon dolls Gus' sibling made for everyone to have when they wanted sat hello. They still couldn't touch you, but for the first time everyone knew you were their and love you the same, if not more than the friend you came for. Sometimes it really did feel like you were a real person. If only....
"Ouch!"
You pull your hand away from Gus' as the clown bursts into a fit of giggles - yelping in pain as they clap their hands together, electrocuting themselves on the buzzer.
Whoo! That definitely sends a shock through ya. Can't believe that got you. Hey - that got you... you've never been hurt by any of the things we've done before."
They're right. That really did hurt. Wait. It hurt. You've never been able to interact with anything before - leaving Gus overwhelmed on brunch dates when they devoured your share. What's going on?
Gus expresses the confusion you're both feeling with a high-pitched scream. They dart around the room, nabbing their emergency supplies of candy from beneath their pillow. "Ahhhh, idea - Y/n, try one of these - hurry!"
You take one of the licorice sticks and shove it in your mouth. If picked up the treat wasn't proof enough, the explosion of flavor on your tongue confirmed your theories.
"It's...good."
Gus races in a circles, squeeling in delight as they grab and pinch your plush - warm cheeks. "They've never been warm before! This is amazing. Ahhh, next test- here goes!"
Shutting their eyes, Gus rams their lips against yours - grinning with teeth against your skin. They kiss your lips, cheeks, and noses - smothering you with a hug, soaking up the beat of your speeding heart.
"You have no idea long I've wanted to do that...."
You're still reeling from everything going on. "W-what's happening, Gus?"
"No clue! If you want my guess, I'd say so many people believing in you made you real like that one movie with the puppet. The others! Oh, man everyone's gonna love this! Come on!"
Gus picks you up and sprints to the main show room. They gather everyone into the area along with the biggest mirror they could find. They try to explain, but the excitement gets the better of them. Frustrated by everyone's agreeable questions - they rip off the blanket covering the mirror and your reflection, and the crowd goes wild.
"That wasn't there before! Can we touch Y/n now???"
"I call dibs on giving them their first piggyback ride!"
"Wonderful timing! I knitted you a lovely scarf before I forgot you technically were a figment of our combined imaginations."
"If they're really here and can touch stuff... They can be part of the show - can't they?"
Thats right. You'd fit right in with your history too. After a celebratory dinner and cuddle session - the preparations for your big debut were made. As expected, everyone loved you. You and Gus were the starting act, and two halves of the same whole. People saw you, they praised you, loved you. The adoration of the crowd was like no other, but everything after the curtains were closed was even better. Gus kept to their promise of never leaving you behind. You were that missing piece - someone they couldn't live without. It was time for you to finally grow up and leave the ghosts of the past where they lied.
"Aw, don't be like that, sweetie. You'll love it once we get there."
This is bullshit. Their college gradation and their folks were dragging them to some circus. Luckily they had a few buds pull through for an aftershow at a nearby bat.
"Maybe your opinion will change when you see the staring act. That clown reminds me a lot of that friend you used to go on about. What was their name again? I think it was -"
Y/n. Your name and smiling face were plastered on a billboard they passed. It was no vague resemblance - that was their first companion down to the scrunchie you wore around your wrist that they gave you on the day they gave you the lukewarm mercy of a goodbye. It couldn't really be you - right?
"Look how big you've grown...."
No-
"Your parents tell me you're graduating this year. I'm so, so proud of you. Are you going to become a scientist just like you said?"
How?
"You always said it was so you could find a way for everyone to see me too... I'm sorry for holding you back for so long. It's good that you made friends. I made alot too - really good ones. With them, I can live in fantasy and the real world at the same time. It's so much fun."
What are you apologizing for? Why are you acting like you're the one that abandoned them. You were everywhere to them. Everything they ever achieved was because of the shoulder you gave them to lean on. Being with you was like a dream - but everyone has to wake up eventually.
"Oops! Looks like a wasted all our time. I have a few more scheduled greets, but maybe if you stay after we can chat a little more before you leave. See you!"
They don't want to leave. There's still so much to be explained; to say and do, but just like them - you were gone as you appeared. They had to see you again in a better time. Do imaginary friends drink coffee?"
"How's it feel to be the one on the other end of the stick?"
Another clown stands behind them. It was the same one that shared your act. Gus. What do they want?
"Y'know I know alllll about what happened between you two. I know everything from their past since as their bestest friend - and potential future spouse - it's my job to make them loved enough to spill every, little detail. You shouldn't have come here. You're not the first to recognize them - and you won't be the last.
The ball of their wrist juts painfully against their skin as the clown grabs their arm.
"I won't let any of you get back into their heart. I won't let anyone hurt them again. You can't just take back what you broke when someone else fixes it. I'll make you feel what they felt. I'll make them forget you - and anyone who tries to take them from us that I promise and promises are meant to be kept. Quick question before you go though - think Y/n will like these matching necklaces I made us? Anything looks cute when its on them - but think it'll fit better than that old scrunchie."
#Gus my oc#yandere imagines#yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere insert#yandere blurb#yandere headcanons#yandere x reader#yandere clown#yandere concept#yandere idea#yandere
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YOU KNOW WHAT???
TIME TO--
"Brothers' Night!"
Click, click, clack, tap.
The familiar sound of his little brother's typing sounded around the corner as Sonic rounded it and made his way into the lab. Tails was zoned completely into whatever he was working on, his eyes glued onto the screen, not even shifting as he tried to reach for his juice box and swiped at empty air twice before he found it and took a sip.
Stifling an amused grin, Sonic wandered closer and leaned an arm on the fox kit's head. "Whatcha doing?"
"Uh . . . making calculations and preparations for an upgrade on the Tornado's integrated drive generator. I want it to be a bit more durable in case of another crash."
"Ah." Sonic stared blankly at the screen, deciding to pretend he knew what that meant. He nudged Tails's shoulder. "Have you eaten today?"
It took Tails a moment to respond. "Yeah, I had lunch, I think."
"You think?"
"Uh huh." Tails started typing again, then squinted at the screen and zoomed in on something.
Sonic frowned thoughtfully.
"So did you hear what Amy and Cream were up to today?" he asked, trying to test something.
"Uh."
"They went camping out in some canyons last night, and they're out hiking today! Amy said we could join them next time!"
"Yeah."
Sonic grinned and shook his head, then glanced at the clock. It was past their normal dinnertime.
In the blink of an eye, he'd rushed off, readied up the living room with blankets, pillows, and a few small tables, then dashed back, scooped his brother into his arms even as he yelped, "Hey—!" ran back to the living room, and dumped him into the couch cushions.
"What gives?" Tails demanded, shaking his bangs out of his eyes. "I was in the middle of—"
"Nope!" Sonic interrupted, striking a pose atop the coffee table. "Break time, lil bro! Or should I say, brothers' night! Complete with a meal of your choice, storytime, board games, maybe a pillow fight, a sleepover, and no screens for the rest of the night!"
"Wh-What?" Tails stammered, looking somewhere between thrilled and horrified. "But what about the integr—"
"Tomorrow, bud!" Sonic hopped onto the couch next to Tails and dragged him in for a noogie. "You, little man, have spent way too much time working in front of screens today. Do you have any idea how bad that is for your eyes? This is an intervention!"
"I suppose . . ." Tails mumbled, but he was grinning. "We haven't done this in forever."
"Precisely why this is a perfect time to do it!" Sonic flipped off the couch and regained his pose on the table, even as Tails protested that he was going to dirty up his living room with the dirt from his shoes.
And so the evening progressed. Tails convinced Sonic to take his shoes off to spare all the blankets and pillows. Tails chose pasta for dinner, and they had mint ice cream for dessert (at least, Tails did; Sonic just had chocolate, since he was a bit sensitive to mint). They played an infuriating game of Monopoly that lasted two and a half hours. Tails won, and Sonic got his revenge by chucking a throw pillow at his brother's face.
It ended up escalating into a full blown pillow fight.
Somehow that turned into a karaoke battle, which then turned into a comedy show by Sonic with lots of sassy commentary from Tails. They made popcorn and stuffed themselves with far too much junk food, until 3 a.m. hit and they found themselves lying around half-buried in the mass of pillows and blankets, each getting more and more loopy as the conversation spiraled.
"Beef can't get sick," Tails found himself mumbling. "Dead meat doesn't get sick."
"I was talking about the possibility of cows turning into zombies, not contaminated lunch meat," Sonic muttered drowsily in response, breaking into a yawn.
"If the zombie cows die, do people still get turned into zombies if they eat them?" Tails asked, his voice muffled as he spoke into a pillow.
"I thought zombies don't die."
"Well, if someone blows them up in a bomb, they'd probably die."
"They'd be disintegrated. And then no one could eat them."
"Or they'd just turn into fiery zombies."
"I don't like zombies. Can we change the subject?"
"You started it."
"No, I was talking about . . . something else entirely. You just thought I said 'beef.'"
"What were you talking about before?"
". . . I forgot."
Slowly, they both lapsed into silence, until both had drifted off to sleep. They slept in till noon the next day, and even though cleanup took a while (neither of them remembered spilling half the popcorn into the couch), neither had any regrets.
Tails had forgotten just how much he loved Brothers' Night, but he was determined never to forget again. And he couldn't thank his big brother enough for dragging him away from his work to do it.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHA Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR THE DAY??? PSYCH!!!
💙💛
I literally just whipped this up on the spot lol. I LOVE DE FLUFF!! Also the late night conversation about zombies and beef was heavily based off a near identical late night conversation I had with some friends at a sleepover a couple weeks ago 😋
Edit: here's the AO3 link
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#miles tails prower#sonic and tails#unbreakable bond#they're brothers your honor#wholesome sonic and tails wednesday#wholesome wednesday#wstw#wsatw#SURPRISE SHAWTY#one last hurrah before the day ends#fluff#fic#one shot#will post this on ao3 as well#at some point lol#my fic#fanfic#fanfiction#sonic fanfic#wholesome sonic and tails wednesday fic
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If all the Arthurs I created met each other
There's already a post with my Merlins meeting too here ➡︎ LINK
Arthur from "The Dragonlord's son series"🐉: I'm just saying, my Merlin is better than yours.
Arthur from my "Merlin as a familiar/shapeshifter falcon AU" 🦅: No, mine is better! He can shapeshift!
Arthur from my "Time travel AU" 🕐: (laughs) They all can shapeshift, boy. Don't believe yourself special.
Arthur 🦅: Don't call me boy! I'm 18! 😡
Arthur 🐉: So? We're in our 20's (pointing himself and Arthur🕐). We're older than you.
Arthur 🕐: I'm actually 40.
Arthur 🐉: What?!😨 But you don't look like 40.
Arthur 🕐: Well no, my body is 20 but my mind is 40. It's a long story.
12 year old Arthur from "From the grave to the cradle" ⛏️: (enters) Sorry, I was milking the cows. What did I miss?
Arthur 🦅: (pointing at Arthur ⛏️) See! That's a boy! (happy) I'm not the youngest anymore! Wait... (looks at Arthur ⛏️, confused) Did you say "milking the cows"?
Arthur ⛏️: Yes, I'm a farmer.
Arthur 🐉, Arthur 🦅 and Arthur 🕐: (shout, very surprised) A FARMER?!😱
Arthur ⛏️: (defensively, crossing his arms) Yes, and I'm very proud of it! 😠 What are you anyway?
Arthur 🐉: The prince.
Arthur 🦅: Me too.
Arthur 🕐: We're all princes, little one.
Arthur ⛏️: (shocked) I'm the only one who isn't royalty? (pouts) Awww, that's not fair. ☹️
Arthur 🐉: (kind of sad) Wait, does this mean Merlin is never going to be your servant?
Arthur ⛏️: (shouts, escandalised) Merlin is your servant?! 😨
Arthur 🐉: (relieved) Oh, so you do know each other. Good.
Arthur ⛏️: It is not!😠 How can you have your friend as your servant? That's horrible!
Arthur 🦅: Well, tecnically, in my case he isn't my servant, he's my pet.
Arthur ⛏️: WHAT?! 😱😡
Arthur 🦅: I mean... half-animal friend companion? 😅
Arthur 🕐: (To Arthur 🦅) You're not helping your case. (To Arthur ⛏️) I'm really curious, how did you became friends with Merlin?
Arthur ⛏️: (smiles) Oh, we've been friends since forever. We live in the same village.
Arthur 🕐: Which is?
Arthur ⛏️: Ealdor.
Arthur 🕐: (realising what happened to this Arthur) Oh, boy...
Arthur 🦅: (still confused) But... but you're from Camelot.
Arthur ⛏️: (ofended) No! I'm from Essetir. I would never associate with the likes from Camelot. They kill people like Merlin for sport! They are murderers!
Arthur 🐉: (starting to understand, increasingly disturbed) Arthur... Who are your parents?
Arthur ⛏️: Hector and Adeline from Ealdor, why?
Arthur 🦅: Those are not-
Arthur 🕐: (covers Arthur 🦅 mouth quickly)
Arthur ⛏️: (a little sad) I know they are not really my parents, but they adopted me when the real ones abandoned me as a baby. So I love them as if they were. (smiles brigthly) I wouldn't change them for anything, even if they are not royalty as yours. So the king of Essetir adopted you instead? That's so cool! Even if you have your friends as your servants.😊
Arthur ���: ...
Arthur 🕐: ...
Arthur 🦅: I'm going to tell him.
Arthur 🐉 and Arthur 🕐: Don't you dare! 😡
....
I reached 300 followers today, guys! Thank you so much! 🤧 I love you all 💕
#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin#merthur#merlin fanfic#merlin fic#merlin prompt#merthur fic#arthur and merlin#merlin and arthur#merthur fanfiction#merthur fanfic#merthur prompt#merlin fic rec#The Dragonlord's son series#From the Grave to the Cradle#Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU#Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU
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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝
Premise: Days in the life of the Shinazugawa household, based on my previous story (link here).
Word Count: 3263
Note: This was requested by the lovely @yourlocalangie, “little family moments in the shinazugawa household with the reader and their children.” 🫶🏻
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
A typical day in the Shinazugawa household started very early in the morning. Even before the sun got a chance to go out, Sanemi, his wife and the children would be on their way down the mountain with a cart full of goodies.
Over the years the farm had grown quite a bit.
Mia and her husband had babies and now your chicken coop is full to the brim with lovely birds and delicious eggs for your family and the towns people.
The milk from your farm was considered the hottest item in the market, getting a consistent queue of customers since very early in the morning, creating a high demand.
After an intense morning of sales, the Shinazugawa family heads back to their farm for a well deserved home cooked meal.
The afternoons were particularly busy, since they would all go to the market together, the rest of the work had to be done after lunch.
"Sanehiko, you're on milk duty, make sure they at least fill two of the big jugs."
"On it father." Sanehiko, the eldest of the lot was the most invested in the family business. He learned from his mother from a very young age how to tend the animals and get the milk from the cows, being the best at it in the family. He thoroughly enjoys working on the fields as well, always looking for a way to help with the crops and making sure everything was in order, out of all of them he was the most responsible and down to earth, being the eldest had a big impact in his way of living, much like young Sanemi he is constantly thinking of the wellbeing of his family and does his best to support his parents.
"Genma, you're in charge of picking the best tomatoes to sell tomorrow. Water your mother's herbs when you're done."
"Yes father!" Genma was the sweetest of them all, always wanting to please his mother and father alike. Sanemi was forever jealous at the fact that he was a momma's boy, he reminds him so much of Genya he wishes he would look up to him the way his brother used to do, but his mother is softer and prettier, of course anyone would choose her instead, he would do too.
"Remi, help your mother separate the black from the red berries and put them in the different baskets. If you behave, I might show you the third form." His only daughter was the closest to him, she inherited his spirit and even if she's not even three yet she begs her father to teach her his wind breathing techniques, days he decides to indulge her even the tiniest bit are the happiest around the house.
"(Y/N) you concentrate on the marmalade and watching Senri, I'll take care of the rest there is to do around in the fields and pick up the eggs." reaching over for your husband, you placed a soft kiss to his lips, nodding at his instructions. You were still very much pregnant and doing more than that would be harsh on your body. Patting your bum lovingly, he rolled his sleeves up and headed back to work.
"Mma this!" Remi was diligently following her father's instructions, pulling a berry that wasn’t ripe out and showing it to you in her tiny hand. "Good eye, baby. Let's put those a side ok? We don't want the marmalade to be sour." happily she set it on a plate and continued with her designated job.
No day was the same. Having a farm gave the kids the opportunity to be active and learn from their parents skills that would be useful in the future. Sanemi made sure to rotate them around the tasks, he wanted his children to grow as strong as he was and as smart as their mother, he wanted nothing but the best for them.
By the end of the day they were all tired and ready for bed as early as the sun would set that day.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Sundays were off. It didn't matter how much work was pending in the farm, how many eggs the chickens lay that morning, how much money they made that week, nothing mattered. Days off were important for the Shinazugawas.
Sanemi didn't get much time to lay around with his youngest since he is always so busy, but Sundays were normally deemed 'Senri day'.
Today though, he had slightly different plans.
You just finished bathing Remi and Senri when you heard Genma squealing like a little piglet.
"Genma get your ass here right now!"
Your husband sounded pissed. He rarely yells at the children, no matter how angry he was.
"Mother!!! Help me!! Father has gone crazy!! MOTHER!!!" his cries for help made you run outside your house, just to see your husband chasing your child around the fields with a sharp knife in his hand.
"Shinazugawa Sanemi. What on earth are you doing?" the child crashed against your leg, hiding behind it. If there was someone who could save him, that would be you.
"Tch." he was forced to stop running by your deep angry mother glare, "I just wanted to give him a haircut, love. Don't know why he's running away like a freak. Did you see him run? How is he faster than me? He's five, this makes no sense."
The four Shinazugawa children took after their father in their physical strengths. Sanehiko could lift a grown pig up since he was four. Genma had super speed, apparently. Remi had his blood thirst and Senri broke Sanehiko's finger when he was just three months old.
You brought Genma up into your arms, looking into his terrified eyes. "What's wrong, baby? Why aren't you letting your father cut your hair? You can't even see of how long it is."
"He....wanted to shave the sides of my head...." the child buried his face on your chest seeking for comfort, this always irritated Sanemi. He understands he is still young and that’s completely normal, but nobody but him and maybe Senri should be allowed to do that. Being jealous of his own children was a new low for the pillar.
"Stop being such a cry baby. I will do it whether you want it or not, I'm your father I do whatever the hell I want."
"Seems like you enjoyed sleeping out by the kitchen, darling." all trace of color drained from Sanemi's face instantly.
"B-babe....let's talk this out, ok? I just wanted to give him a haircut, you know he needs one." and he did, but you didn't like the way he was speaking to the child.
"Why are you shaving his head though? He looks so cute with his long hair." you were peppering soft kisses all over his little face, making him giggle.
By now Sanemi was sitting on the floor beside you, heaving out a long defeated sigh. "My brother...he had his hair like that. I guess I miss him."
"Oh my love...." setting your child down, you embraced your crestfallen husband, kissing the side of his face. "I know you see your brother in Genma, but you gotta remember he's your son and he is just five. Running after him with a knife in your hand isn't considered bonding."
"Father. It’s ok, you can shave my head. I don't like that sad face you're making." he brought Genma into a strong embrace and you all remained like that for a while. He missed Genya dearly, but having you around was more than he deserved.
"Remi too, Remi too!!!" your little girl jumped on Sanemi's back, nuzzling his neck with her little nose.
Sanehiko was holding Senri, confused by the knot of people before him. "What's going on?"
"Just come here, dammit." he settled for leaving Senri in your arms and gently nestle himself on your side, one of his hands holding one of his father's.
The Shinazugawa household was warm and full of understanding.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
After a well deserved break, your husband was now getting into your shared futon ready for a good night sleep.
He loved caressing your enlarged belly, there was nothing he enjoyed more than seeing you carrying his babies, knowing you had a part of him inside of you. He would always fall asleep while tracing patterns on your tummy, face pressed on the side of your neck.
Maybe it was the emotional afternoon your family had, maybe it was the long walk up the hill from the day before. The reason was unknown to you but a sharp pain on your lower half alerted your sleepy husband.
“(Y/N) what’s wrong?”
“Is coming Nemi.” as if on cue, your water broke all over your freshly laundered covers.
“What do you mean is coming? Isn’t it too early? Fuck, what do we do now? Can you wait until I go call the midwife?” he already knew the answer to that question, your body was moving on its own into a good position to deliver the baby.
“Can’t do. We gotta do this on our own, I’ve done it four times already and you’ve been there for every single one of them, we know what to do.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind (Y/N)? What if there’s complications? Senri gave you a hard time.” he was panicking now, removing the covers completely to give you more space, “Hell, you haven’t even finished waving the basket, where is the baby going to sleep?”
“SANEHIKO.” the contractions were heavy, painful, one right after the other, you needed a cool headed person around while your husband hyperventilated in a corner of the room.
“Yes, mother?” the child had already gone to bed, but was still awake thankfully, coming to your aid instantly.
“The baby is coming my love, you know what to do right?” the child nodded making his way over to the kitchen, returning not long after with clean cloths and water.
“Take Senri, we need his basket. Remember, don’t come out of the room until I go look for you, no matter what you hear. This goes for the rest of the gang too, keep an eye on all of them.” Sanemi’s anxiety driven self was finally grasping reality, just in time.
It was now just the two of you in your room. The same room you and your brother were born in, the same room where your four children came to this world. “We can do this, love.” Sanemi held your hand as tight as he could getting in between your legs as you started pushing your fifth child out. Thankfully there were no complications, the child came out fast and with minimal effort, more than ready to come out and meet her family.
Sanemi was ecstatic when he saw his baby girl for the first time as the adrenaline rush was finally settling down. He somehow thought he’d have another boy; it was a pleasant surprise. He was so into it that even forgot he had to clip the cord, almost dragging you out with him when he pulled the baby close to his chest. She looked just like you, his beautiful little treasure.
After cleaning you and the baby, Sanemi set the child on his son’s basket, wrapped into a little cocoon where she slept peacefully tired of the whole adventure.
“How are you feeling, baby? You did such a good job. You’re a pro at this now you have my respect I could never do that, specially not now that I saw it so up close, that shit's not for the weak. I knew I picked the right wife.” this made you giggle, pulling your husband in for cuddles. You probably needed space but all you wanted was to be in his arms.
“I feel less heavy. A bit sore though.” he was rubbing circles onto the side of your hip trying his best to relieve the pain even if it was just a little.
“Do you want me to call the kids in? I can take Sae to them so you can rest some more.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I can handle Remi jumping on me right now.” you both chuckled, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes.
The children were overwhelmed with how cute their little sister was, Genma was particularly over the moon as he wasn’t the only one with dark hair any longer.
Sanemi explained to the kids that their mother needed to rest just like when Senri was born, they needed to behave, be gentle and stay out of troubles. But even after his father’s speech, Genma managed to sneak out of the room quietly and was now kneeling by your side.
“Mother, is your belly ok? Do you need belly rubs?” his sweet little voice was music to your ears, his gentle nature was truly a gift.
“I would love that, sweetie. But does your father know you’re here?” the child swallowed hard seemingly nervous but opted for ignoring the question and go straight to work, gently massaging your sore belly. “I will go to bed in a bit, just thought you might need belly rubs.” he looked like a little delinquent now that his father styled his hair with such a fashion forward design, it was the cutest thing in this world.
“Thank you, baby. You’re the best.” sitting up slightly, you gave your toddler a good night kiss, sending him his way before anyone noticed.
Sanemi noticed of course, but he didn’t say anything, he knew his son, he was probably just making sure his mother was still alive after the deafening screams heard all over the house during the birthing process.
He took Sae back to your room, leaving Senri to share his eldest brother bedding arrangements for the night to give you some extra time to finish the second basket the next day.
Finally going back to your side, Sanemi nearly collapsed on top of you, proud of the evening accomplishments but as tired as one can be, it never even crossed his mind he would help deliver his own child, it was an insane experience. “So how does it feel being the father of five children?” teasing your man was fun, especially when he was this tired, he gets way softer.
“Makes me want to put another one inside of that delicious looking-“
“SANEMI!” he bursts out laughing, burying his face on your hair.
“Just saying... Feels pretty good though. You know I come from a very large family, it feels great having all this tiny loud brats running around, makes me feel complete. You’ve given me so much…”
You were dozing off on his chest, placing a kiss on it before closing your eyes, “I would give you the world, my love.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Being a parent to five children was not easy.
The age gap wasn’t as helpful now a days. When Genma was born Sanehiko was already old enough to understand what was happening. But having three children in a row was taking a toll both physically and mentally on you and your husband.
Remi was difficult to handle, always so full of energy. Senri was still just a little baby but was currently learning how to walk on his own, accidents following his every step. And Sae was milking the life out of you, her appetite was like no other.
You were tired and so was Sanemi.
Even the market stall had to go on a little break, this didn’t happen when Senri was born. He’s always been a quiet baby, would sleep most of his day. But Sae was always hungry and would constantly ask to be fed.
Sanehiko was deemed Senri’s guardian, while Sanemi held onto Remi for dear life majority of the day. The farm still needed to be tended to and you would have to go back to the market soon or the goods would be lost. Genma was tasked as your moral support or how Sanemi liked to call it ‘your servant’, he was in charge of making sure his mother had everything she needed, so he would go on fluffing your pillow every few minutes, bring you water, rub your belly, help you hold his sister while you changed her. He was a big help regardless of what the others said.
“Nii-nii look.” Remi would run over to the house to show her brother the vegetables she picked, the bugs she found, she even brought an egg, her hair littered with feathers making you giggle at the mental image of your husband trying to catch his daughter and chase her out of the coop. She’s always been given easy tasks as she’s still very little, but she was now helping her father with the farm, it made her feel important.
Genma knew she was taunting him, but he was where he wanted to be, there was nothing he’d rather do than to help his mother and new sister to be comfortable and well, he was a man now, the Shinazugawa are strong, he got this under control.
You were dozing off while feeding your daughter, Genma already snoozing on your lap, when you heard tiny feet running in your direction. You could see Remi on Sanemi’s shoulders picking corn in the fields from the window, this could only mean one thing.
“Senri, is that you?” a tiny hand was holding onto the doorframe, supporting his own weight. His brother was supposed to be watching him, but your children all take after their father, you knew Sanehiko wasn’t at fault, it was most likely Senri who sneaked out.
“Come here, my love.” he lets go of the door stumbling clumsily into your arms, “Did you miss me? I sure miss you, my baby boy. It's time for your nap, isn’t it?” he was climbing onto you, stepping on Genma’s hand in the process but very diligently skipping over his newborn sister as if afraid of hurting her.
In under a minute, you could hear your restless son lifting things around the house, scrambling in fear. “Sanehiko, he’s here baby.” a tuft of white hair was now peaking from outside the window, he didn’t want his parents to notice he lost a brother but got caught regardless. He was panting, face covered in sweat, “He disappeared so quickly mother, I swear I just looked to the side for a second and he was gone.”
“I know sweetie, I know. Why don’t you come here and rest with us for a while? We all need a nap.” That was a tempting offering, he was tired that was a fact. Having to look after his little brother, while being constantly awoken at night by a crying baby was a bit too much for a nine-year-old. He nestled on your side, giving you some extra support on the arm that was holding your daughter. Quickly falling asleep like the rest of the gang, face comfortably pressed on your shoulder.
Sanemi had picked up some of your lavender for tea, hopefully that would get you to sleep better. He was about to announce his plan when he saw more than half of his family sprawled on the floor, enjoying an afternoon nap, the sun beams coming through the window were shinning on the beautiful face of his darling wife the love of his life, and his offspring.
His youngest toddler was dozing off on his head, her arms now dangling to the sides of his face. Seems like everyone had the same idea.
He put her down on her eldest brother lap, and she curled on your side immediately, holding Sanehiko’s arm like a pillow. Sanemi went on your other side, cradling you, Genma, and Senri to his chest, letting out a content sigh out and kissing your forehead softly trying not to wake you up.
His life could be chaotic and had been quite challenging over the years, but once he found his happy place, he wouldn’t trade it for anything in this universe, and that was you.
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Tagged babes: @doumadono
Master list Next Chapter
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#demon slayer fanfic#kimetsu no yaiba fanfic#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer x female reader#demon slayer hashira#wind hashira#wind pillar#shinazugawa sanemi#sanemi x y/n#sanemi x you#sanemi x reader#fluff#sanemi fluff#kimetsu no yaiba sanemi#Daddy Sanemi#Kimetsu daddies#family fluff
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@jegulus-microfic Jan 30 - uneven
1012 words (same as the 1st one holy cow this was not on purpose)
Cowboy James
NSFW for suggestive language/contact, not explicit
First part
~
The moment Regulus stood up, he already felt less confident. As though James could sense it, he took Regulus's hand, drawing him in closer.
"Don't worry, darlin', ah won't letcha fall." The cowboy said with a wink, before dragging him out onto the dance floor.
James began swaying easily, his hips smooth and his movements sure. Regulus, however, was uneasy, despite his drunken state. His movements were jagged and uneven, unable to match the beat. James could see this, obviously, a deep chuckle escaping his throat. He stepped closer, still swaying his hips.
"Can ah show you somethin', sweetheart?" James asked, and these nicknames were going to be the death of him. Regulus nodded, and James's hands reached forward to land on his hips.
"This okay?" He murmured, and god, he asked permission too?? Who was this man? Regulus nodded again, meeting the taller man's eyes. The hands on his hips led him, guiding them until the two were moving in sync, Regulus's hips rolling with James's. James grinned at him, and Regulus couldn't help but smile back. Finally, he fell into the rhythm, feeling more natural. Even so, James didn't let go, and Regulus didn't ask him to. Instead, he shuffled closer, wrapping his arms around James's neck, whose eyes darkened.
"Gettin' bolder, are ya?" James teased, and Regulus hit him on the chest. But he was, really; nearly drunk on alcohol and James's body heat, and holding quite a weakness for hot, smooth-talking men who called him fancy and sugar. So, he moved closer, letting his hips roll against James's. The man groaned softly, hips meeting Regulus's, which were becoming increasingly forceful.
"You're gettin' a little naughty there, fancy." James rumbled into his ear, and Regulus hummed.
"Want me to stop?" He asked, and he felt the man's large hands tighten on his hips.
"Don't you dare."
Regulus chuckled, nosing at the man's neck. He smelled like hay and whiskey and sandalwood, and it was fucking intoxicating. Regulus could live with his nose buried there forever. Or his lips, as he found out when he kissed James's pulse point and the man groaned. Regulus did it again, trailing up to right below his ear, where he flicked his tongue. James pulled Regulus flush against him.
"If you keep that up, sweetheart, this 's gonna escalate real fast." He warned, and his voice was deep and thick as molasses. Regulus felt the vibrations where he was pressed to the man's broad chest.
Regulus's leaned up on his toes, so his lips were right at James's ear.
"That's the idea." He whispered, and the man shuddered.
"Please, let me take you home, so ah can fuck you proper." James growled into his ear. Regulus was so tempted to give in right then and there. But he had to play with him.
"Awful full of yourself, aren't you?" He cooed. "Who said I'd let you fuck me?"
James huffed out a laugh into Regulus's neck.
"I can assure you it'll be the best of your life." The cowboy told him, and Regulus scoffed. "Certainly better than Barty." Regulus pulled back, surprised.
"How do you know his name?"
"Ah might’ve asked your brother." James answered, grinning, not the slightest bit sheepish.
"Jealous, are we?" Regulus teased, but James, of course, didn't act cagey or embarrassed.
"Yes." He growled, placing a hand on Regulus's arse and pulling him impossibly closer. "Any chance this Barty fellow lives in the United States?" He questioned, and Regulus had a good idea of why.
"And why do you want to know?" He asked anyways, unable to keep the mirth out of his voice.
"So ah can knock his lights out, darlin'." James replied, and that was way hotter than it should've been.
"Mmm... why don't you just fuck my lights out instead?" He asked, and it was James's turn to pull back and look him in the eye, a smirk on his lips.
"Thought you didn' want me t' fuck you?"
"Never said that." Regulus replied, brushing his lips against the taller man's. "Just had to see how much you wanted it." James shuddered, eyes closing.
"You've no fucking idea how much, sweetheart." James murmured, opening his eyes again to meet Regulus's. Regulus leaned forward, lips brushing again. And finally, they reached James's breaking point. A finger and a thumb came up to grab Regulus's chin, then James's lip were on his own.
It wasn't a sweet, nice kiss. This was filthy. This was James setting a bruising pace and already licking at Regulus's lips. And when the younger man eagerly opened them, James plunged into his mouth like his life depended on it, like a starving man and Regulus was food.
After at least a full minute, Regulus pulled back, panting into James's mouth.
"You going to take me home, or just fuck me right here?" He murmured, and James shot him a wolfish grin.
"Ah mean, ah wouldn' be opposed, but ah don' think your brother over there would appreciate it much." James pointed out, and Regulus followed his eyes to the bar. Thankfully, Sirius had been too busy to notice their little display, though other people hadn't based on the stares they were getting. James, of course, gave them a cheeky little wave. Regulus leaned forward and gave James another deep kiss, just to piss them off further.
"Speaking of my brother..." Regulus mentioned, running his finger along James's lips, "Are you still going to get that phone back for me?" He prodded, and James huffed out a laugh against him.
“Darlin’, at this point, ah’ll get you wutev’r you want.” The taller man replied, seemingly still catching his breath from the last searing kiss. Regulus smiled, pleased.
“Get me that phone, and then you can take me home, nosy.” Regulus purred into the man’s ear, and James stood up straighter.
“Yeah?” He wondered, mouthing along jaw. “I git that phone, an’ ah get t’ take you home n’ fuck you?” Regulus repressed shiver.
“Yes.” He murmured, voice rough.
“Well that’s a deal, sugar.”
~
Next part
#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#jegulus microfic#cowboy james potter#tipsy regulus black#black brothers#james x regulus#starchaser#sunseeker#dancing#lolls writes
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I headcanon Hannibal not to be your average bitching cunt cause that's Will. Will is dramatic, vents, gesticulates, walks backs and forth. Imagine he orders himself some fishing rods for example and they send him the wrong models. Every single day during a week, Hannibal has to listen to his venting. He doesn't mind.
Will was a cunt before meeting Hannibal but after he got into this relationship with this man who inflates his ego every single day of his life by literally considering him God, his own self esteem sky rocketed and yeah, more cuntiness. Don't know if it makes sense. Hannibal basically taught him that he deserves the best and he should never expect less than that.
However when it comes to Hannibal, it's the opposite when things don't go his way. If you don't know him, you might as well miss it.
Let's picture this. He and Will are finally building their forever home after a few years of being on the run. And while Will takes care of less artsy matters, such as insulation or gas or running water, things he is good at like choosing pipes and such, Hannibal is taking care of colors, decor, style, you get the point. And obviously the kitchen is such an important part. And he spends a lot of time choosing the right furniture and color schemes and when the tiles arrive and the workers place them on the floor of the kitchen, his whole world shatters.
The corner tiles are not symmetrical.
The workers start finding excuses and Will is waiting for him to blow up but he doesn't. He says nothing. He gets into the car and quietly waits for Will to be done with the workers and start the engine.
Will is terrified of his silence since Hannibal is usually very opinionated. Especially when it comes to his kitchen. So he decides to say something.
"Idiots. They should have been more careful for how much they get paid."
"I suppose." Hannibal replies.
"No, you put so much work into this kitchen. I would be mad too."
"I am not mad. They said they will fix it."
Will is almost annoyed by his lack of reaction.
Later they get to the place where they are living for the time being and Hannibal starts cooking dinner. That's when Will hears the first sigh.
Exactly 20 minutes later, he hears the second sigh. Louder this time, Will can clearly hear it from the living room.
He checks on him and Hannibal says that nothing happened. Will starts helping him by cutting some cheese on a board. That's when Hannibal starts comparing their future house to a well matured cheese. He starts talking about the importance of the hands who take care of the cheese cause sure, time and humidity play an important part, as well as the quality of the cows and goats and their milk but if you want good matured cheese you have to make sure trustable people take care of it.
Will nods and agrees. He understands what he has to do and doesn't ask more questions. The next day he announces Hannibal he had fired the workers and found already better ones.
Hannibal smiles. His Will knows how to read him so well.
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