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[iradeinstitute1]

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[marlynnofmany]

Honking Trouble

This job was a pain from the start. The customer was pushy, giving Captain Sunlight a run for her money on the diplomacy front — not bad enough for us to refuse to make the delivery, but pushing the boundaries — and the cargo was awkward. 

And since it was animals, that was my problem. 

“Keep your distance,” I told Zhee. “I think it can get its beak between the bars.” The cage was large and rickety, with bars a few inches apart. As if to prove me right, a long furry neck with a beak at the end stabbed outward and hissed at us. 

Zhee flared his pincher arms and hissed back, but the creature wasn't impressed. It just spread its batlike wings as far as the cage would allow and made a surprisingly deep honk that echoed through the cargo bay. 

I hadn’t read the documents yet about what kind of animal this was, from which planet, but if those documents turned out to say this was a genetic experiment in unwise combinations, I wouldn’t have been a bit surprised. It was vaguely goose-shaped, just with four feet instead of two, equipped with talons instead of webs, white fur instead of feathers, and a beak that ended in a wickedly sharp hook. After all the hawks and parrots I’d encountered back on Earth, that beak looked ready for either mischief or violence. Probably both.

At any rate, the goose-thing’s honk set off the tiny creatures in the other cage, which thankfully were better contained. That cage was a mesh sphere not about to let any of the little drifting dust motes out. As enchanting as it might be to have the spaceship filled with colorful bits of fluff that moved gracefully and made a chorus of tiny peeps, they just looked like allergies waiting to happen. And I didn't want to think about finding them behind the wall panels later. 

Zhee hissed at the furry demon goose again, clearly hoping to frighten it into submission. No luck. 

“Knock it off,” I told him. “That'll just make it louder. Here, help me get the lifter under the cage.” The customer had brought the cage onboard for us, but this wasn't a good spot for it. So it was up to me, the resident animal expert, to get it moved safely to a room more suited to animal cargo. Nobody wanted to sneak past this biter to get to the rest of the crates. 

Luckily we had a freshly refurbished hoversled with a lifting scoop that could slide under anything as long as the thing in question held still. I convinced Zhee to hold the cage stationary, since his exoskeleton was tougher than my fingers. The goose-thing pecked at him from an awkward angle. I worked the controls, and soon our misbehaving cargo was lifted up onto the sled. 

I looked over at the round cage full of chirping alien pixies. “Let's come back for that one.”  

“Agreed.”

The goose was quiet while we moved it down the hall, taking in the sights with all the attention of someone casing the joint. I told myself not to be too judgmental. Maybe it had never been on a spaceship before, and was curious.

Then Blip walked out of a side corridor, wearing her favorite flowy silk outfit that made her look like a muscley flower, and no: the goose was just looking for opportunities. It snapped at the nearest hem and almost got a beakful, but Blip moved just in time. Then she scolded it for almost ripping quality Frillian clothes.

“Do you know how hard this is to replace? Of course you don’t; you’re a rude animal.” She shook a blue finger at the unrepentant goose. Behind her, Blop appeared and aimed his own frown into the cage.

“Sorry,” I said. “Don’t get too close to this one. At least it was only aiming for your clothes, not something that would bleed.”

Blip folded muscular arms, flared her frills, and scowled. “It would have regretted that.”

I sighed, pushing the hoversled forward. “Don’t punch the cargo.”

Blip muttered as we left. There were no further incidents on the way into Storage Hold B, and the goose didn’t even try to bite us as we got the cage off the sled. It was busy inspecting the view: boxes, cabinets, and the large clear containment pen that had held troublemaking cargo before. It would have been nice to shove this guy in there, but the cage wouldn’t fit through the door, and there was no way I was going to voluntarily let it out.

“I’m watching you,” I told it as I followed Zhee back into the hall. Technically Kavlae was watching, or maybe Wio — whoever was in the cockpit behind the security cameras. They’d be making sure the onboarding process went smoothly before the ship took off.

I knew that, but I was still surprised to hear Kavlae’s voice on the hallway intercom a few minutes later.

“Walk faster,” she said from a single speaker. “It’s trying to open a box.”

“It can reach that??” I asked, pushing the hoversled more quickly. The aura puffs squeaked and twirled. (Their cage had a label, with a species description and the number of creatures inside. They were behaving.)

Zhee scurried ahead on his many bug legs to open the door. Before I could get there, he charged inside, hissing again. I heard answering hisses and the sound of a crate being scraped across the floor.

Once I got the aura puffs into the room, I found Zhee inspecting a gnawed-on box corner with splinters on the floor. The goose looked pleased with itself.

I asked, “What’s the damage?”

“Nothing significant,” Zhee said. “Luckily this is our own ship’s supplies, not something for a client.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t look good.” I parked the sled. “‘Here’s your delivery! You don’t mind a little artistic nibbling about the edges, do you?’ I’m sure that would go over well.”

Zhee shoved a couple other boxes further back and helped me set the aura puffs a safe distance away. Then, under Kavlae’s watchful eye, we went back to the cargo bay for some non-animal cargo.

The intercom chimed before we got there. “It’s trying to pick the lock on its cage,” Kavlae said, still on single-speaker mode. “I don’t know if it c— Oh no, it’s out.”

I left the sled in the middle of the hallway and ran, with Zhee right behind me.

Speakers all along the hall chorused, “It opened the other cage.”

I said a very unprofessional word and charged forward to slam my hand on the door-opening panel. Expecting the one cargo to be actively eating the other, I dashed inside, only to be knocked off my feet by the goose making a break for it. I fell amid clouds of happily chirping aura puffs.

Zhee lunged for the goose, but it dodged what would have been a very painful hug from his pincher arms, and I heard it honking triumphantly down the hall. Zhee ran after it while the whole-ship intercom chimed.

“Escaped cargo. It is large and likes to bite. Currently heading towards the crew lounge. Captain, permission to use stun guns on the cargo?”

After a moment, Captain Sunlight answered from somewhere else on the ship. “Permission granted. All available crew, arm yourselves and proceed with caution. Kavlae, keep us posted on its whereabouts.”

Trying not to feel like a failure, I scrambled to my feet and checked a cabinet for stun guns. Found one. Waving the aura puffs away from the door, I regretfully left them floating about the storage hold while I chased after the bigger problem. Zhee had already disappeared.

I met Trrili in the hall.

“How dangerousss is thisss animal?” she asked, looming over me and flexing her pincher arms in delight.

“I don’t think it wants to seriously hurt anyone, but I can’t say for sure,” I said. “It might go for the eyes if it’s cornered. Try not to damage it.”

“Frrrrightening causesss no damage,” Trrili said, and flashed away down the hall.

I ran after.

Kavlae reported, “It’s in the crew lounge, searching the furniture, probably looking for food. This could be a good place to corner it.”

Trrili waited in position outside the lounge when I arrived, crouched like a spider ready to spring. Zhee was moving toward the kitchen entrance to flank it. A flash of yellow scales at the other end of the hall was Captain Sunlight hurrying forward with a stun gun aimed at the floor. The goose made a muffled honk from inside the lounge, crunching something that sounded like snack food scavenged from under the couch.

I stopped behind Trrili and waited for everyone to get into position. Two threatening predators and two stun guns ought to be a recipe for success against one alien goose.

Then the goose dashed into the kitchen before Zhee could get there, and the whole plan went out the window.

Trrili raced after it. Zhee got in the captain’s way. I reached the kitchen in time to see the creature hiss in defiance before prying open a cabinet door.

It might have thought that was an exit. In reality, it was Paint’s hiding spot, and she shrieked fit to shatter eardrums, curling into a ball of scales and panic.

That was enough of a distraction for Mimi to drop from the high shelf he’d been waiting on, and wrap the demon goose in all of his tentacles. It was surprisingly effective.

That’s not the plan, but I’ll take it.

Everyone was shouting and in the way. I followed Mimi’s example and climbed onto a counter, where I could get a clear shot with the stun gun and not hit him.

I stunned the goose in the butt, and it finally stopped flapping.

It took a while for all the yelling to subside, but the captain wriggled past Zhee and Trrili to declare no harm done. Kavlae told the rest of the ship. Mimi untangled himself from the goose, who had frozen in an inconvenient position. Paint stayed in the cabinet. Zhee clicked away to get the hoversled, then stopped when Trrili simply dragged the goose towards the hold.

Captain Sunlight looked up at me. “Good shot.”

“Thanks,” I said, getting down from the counter. I’d have to wash the footprints off that later. “Paint, it’s safe to come out.”

Mimi was already coaxing her out of the cabinet, offering some of the snacks that she’d apparently been eating when she heard the alert about the dangerous animal.

Speaking of which, I thought. With Paint in good hands (or the equivalent), I hurried after the others. I heard Captain Sunlight say a few words to Paint and Mimi before following.

So we got to put the goose in the Clear Pen For Naughty Animals after all. This pen didn’t have anywhere it could stick its beak out of once the stun wore off, only mesh-covered air vents way at the top and a door that locked (very reliably) from the outside.

Take that, you troublemaker.

We caught the aura puffs carefully by hand (or the equivalent), and put them back in their own cage. Thankfully the goose hadn’t damaged the latch, just opened it with bird-brained cleverness.

“It’s just those last two left,” Captain Sunlight said after counting. “Up there.”

The two in question were floating higher than her little lizardy arms could reach, so I moved to do the honors. As I did, Blip and Blop arrived with the bug-catching net that no one had been able to find earlier.

They also brought with them a feline blur that I caught mid-leap, just before Telly snatched an aura puff out of the air.

“Not for you,” I said, heart beating wildly. “Let’s get you some proper cat treats that don’t belong to a paying customer.”

Blip and Blop exclaimed loudly at Telly’s speed, my reaction time, and the fact that they’d had no idea she was there; they were sorry they almost got the cargo eaten.

Captain Sunlight repeated, “No harm done.” She waved me off to my quarters with the disgruntled cat, and spoke to the others about plans to notify the customer of just what kind of danger fee he’d brought upon himself by not properly securing his chaos-causing animal.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[villainanders]

To be honest I feel like people are underestimating how much of the directive for that AMA was “don’t say anything about the dev cycle that could be an IGN headline”

[ceruleanterrapin]

Tmnt 2012 au: everything is the same except Leo gets REALLY injured during the Shredder fight and needs to have his knee amputated

[fernlessbastard]

hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl

Yeah no based true real no questions asked

I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)

But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)

[sunlit-mess]

How did you get so good at animating and drawing? Aside from practice, what techniques do you use? What software do you use?

I only know the basics/fundamentals of both drawing and animation.

For drawing, I've carried out lessons about the Elements and principles of design, the history of graphics design, traditional drawing techniques, color theory, anatomy, character design, blah blah blah. Lots of info I still do my best to practice/put in my art. If y'all notice me animating gifs then it's bc I have time to do so... ( I'm in term break until late July ) They're likely short, but it's through animation blocking, timing, and incorporating both in-betweens and tweening.

I've used Adobe Animate/After Effects for school projects, sometimes for doodles only, I currently use Clip Studio Paint bc it's where I'm more comfy with ^^ Maybe someday I'll be able to afford Toon Boom hehe.

[songofsunset]

I had the MOST stressful experience last night realizing I accidentally missed the due date for my final project in a ZERO LATE CREDIT NO EXCEPTIONS class, then spent the next several hours in frantic combat with my printer (shout-out to my sister the MVP who woke up at 3am and helped me wrangle) and then I turned In my last assignment at 7am after the midnight deadline and sent a very polite email to my professor

Who had mercy on me!!!! and said she'd accept it with points deducted, and then when she was grading was like 'i can see the work you put into this' and gave me full credit. Not only did I not fail the class required to move on in my degree, I actually got a good grade!

Score one for polite emails and communication!!!!!

When people are like 'just communicate with your teachers' they mean it and I'm so fucking relieved it worked out

[martyrbat]

[ID: a drawing of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne in their respective costumes. They're both shown from the neck up and it appears like Clark is leaning his head into Bruce with a slightly pensive expression. He side-eyes a glance up at Bruce, who has his head tilted so he can rest it against his—his bare cheek nuzzled into Clark's hair and his eyes closed with a quiet contentment. END ID]

[ID: the first photo is a screenshot showing the above drawing was originally published on October 12th, 2015 by professional comic book artist Matthew Clark (@/emceeartist on Instagram). He captioned it, “The original bromance.”

The second photo shows the comment section, where @/iambradwalker commented, “Superman seems bummed out by their relationship. Who would think Batman would be the one more into ANY relationship?!” Matthew replied, “as the top, Batman seems to have found his bliss. Which may bum Superman out.” END ID]

[wuntrum]

troubled by how many incoming art students dont know how to take and upload a good photo of their work...like well lit, rotated the right way, cropped so its just the artwork, naming the file instead of leaving it IMG_3294?? like guys please 😭

[mynameisalanwake]

since we're davrin posting.... (spoilers under cut)

i will NEVER be able to sacrifice Davrin in the same way i will never decline the dark ritual in DA:O. i watched one (1) video of romanced Alistair sacrificing himself and it gave me chest pain for a full day. i'm too emotionally attached to these dummy wardens and i can't have them die.

ADDITIONALLY, his storyline and internal conflict of NOT dying after slaying the archdemon just makes me MORE UPSET about the lack of established world state. what do Weisshaupt/northern Wardens know about the Fifth Blight and what happened in Ferelden? in my world state, he's not the only Warden to survive slaying an archdemon. Riordan and Morrigan do a great job establishing what happens when an archdemon is slain by a Warden and why the dark ritual works. show me why Davrin doesn't know this very important detail!!! did Weisshaupt excommunicate the HoF, who is (as of DAI/if they're still alive) still calling themselves the Warden Commander of Ferelden??

if your HoF died/went through the eluvian with Morrigan in Witch Hunt (my first went through the eluvian), it feels a little more normal that there's no closure on their fate in Weisshaupt/Warden interactions. but it doesn't really excuse it

i mean the lack of resolution in the Warden-sphere is encouraging me to write fic but at what cost

i'm in love with Lace Harding and i also don't believe she dies if you sacrifice her - not sure if i'm just in denial and justifying my decision but Rook literally says "we'll find you" or something to that effect

[iradeinstitute1]

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[rosenecklaces]

I think gwynriels victim complex phenomenon needs to be studied like it's probably where the projecting into Azriel white-savior and fuckboy made-up personas came from. it's all clearer now...

[crush3dmary]

Brother I've had the craziest weekend at work, so happy I booked tonight off. Friday night we had to put the shelter in lockdown because of an incredibly violent client destroying property outside, kicking and punching the doors and windows, and threatening to kill people, and then he said he was going to kill me for discharging him. Then when the police showed up (as its policy to call them when anyone is at risk, I don't like it either) bro punched a cop. Then last night he showed up during my shift and caused a ruckus AGAIN and oh my god this shit is par and parcel for the job but I spent like half my shift both Friday and Saturday having to write reports and you have no idea how happy I am to get a little break from all this shit. And how has your weekend been?

[marlynnofmany]

Lookie what I got! The rarest of collector's editions, with only one in existence! (There's an @ symbol in place of a © on the title page.)

(There's only one because I fixed it after I ordered my proof copy.)

Someday this will be very valuable, for sure!

[supercantaloupe]

nothing but support and understanding so far from my supervisor coworkers and professors when i reveal my present struggle with migraines and medication for the same. nevertheless it always feels like an exercise in humiliation to talk about it

[tendercoretroglodyke]

dang severence hits different when ur employed and recently bereaved lol