#countryhumans south america

[jonsieedgygirl]

Since the countries of Europe and Asia as people is now completed, I’m into South American countries now.

From an alphabetical order between Argentina to Venezuela. Possibly since French Guiana isn’t here already bc there’s no space for French Guiana idk 🤷‍♀️

Also gonna do the North American countries as people again because I’ve already completed the countries from South America as people 👍

Art © Moi

[drawlody]

[tiapoa26]

Some old countryhuman stuff I made some years back that I suddenly want to post?

[chaoticprussia]

[weirdestcountryhumans]

Colonizer x Colony Ships: Why It's a Bad Portrayal and Something People Should Move Away From

Because these kinds of ships are far too common in this fandom, and people need to learn to recognize that they are incredibly offensive at times.

The Defense of These Ships

Many people defend these ships by claiming that the colonizer country feels guilt over what they did or that they were not involved in the brutality of colonization and were unwilling bystanders. Some claim that the colonization occurred because they "loved" the person they were colonizing and colonizing them so they could be together.

These ideas are, at their core, racist. That is not to say the people who ship them are racist, but these ideas originate in real-life racism, racist propaganda, and racist ideology. White Man's Burden (link) is exceptionally present in this.

These defenses also excuse the colonizer from the consequences of their own actions, excusing them from the ideals of their country to portray them as more innocent. I am not saying they cannot grow; I am just saying that in the 1800s, Britain wasn't going to be anti-imperialist. They don't see their actions through a modern lens and will be assholes (by modern standards) and bigots. They will not be the modern image of progression in those periods. And even if you have them get together after the postcolonial period, that does not erase the pain they caused that country.

It is insensitive at best and racist at worst. Please think things through before you create ships like these. To support my point, I have created a small list of popular colonizer x colony ships. I will go over a bit of the history between the two and why that illustrates why they shouldn't be shipped, as well as any problematic tropes I notice.

Ship Examples and why they don't work

Netherlands x Indonesia

This ship has always confused me. I really don't see much of a basis for it. One, if you have colonies be the children of empires; Indonesia is in a relationship with his parent. Two, even if you don't have that, the Dutch still committed many war crimes in Indonesia, like the Banda Islands Massacre, as well as inflaming ethnic tensions so they could get cheap war slaves, and ergo enslaving many people from the ethnic population. There is also evidence of torture of these slaves and some female slaves being used as sex slaves.

The Dutch's greed for money often led to famines as the local farmers were put under heavy stress, and the coolie indentured labor system was rife with abuses. Many war crimes were also committed during the Indonesian War of Independence. While modern relations are better, it does not erase these crimes, and I think this ship is very insensitive.

Japan x South Korea

Yeah, guys, Japan colonized Korea. Now, while what I am going to explain applies to both Koreas, I am specifying South Korea simply because I see that more.

Let's start with comfort women. Now, if you haven't heard of them, they were women and girls forced into sexual slavery by Japan during World War two. Since Korea was one of Imperial Japan's earliest colonies, many of the comfort women were Korean. They also began a period of Japanization, banning Korean names and the Korean language.

In the modern day, about 79% of South Koreans view Japan negatively, only being beaten out of the most negative perception of Japan by China.

Both modern relations and history show that Japan and South Korea would not be in a relationship, and I don't even think they would be friends. Japan's history with South Korea (and North Korea) has never been positive, and I do not think that this is a good ship, especially considering that their relations are still not great. It is very insensitive to the horrific war crimes that Japan has committed against the Korean people.

Sunshine Harem

This is singlehandedly the reason I made my Philippines AroAce—out of spite and hatred of this pinnacle of insensitivity. This is not only shipping the Philippines with one colonizer but every single person who had ever colonized him (aside from that one period of time during the Seven Years War when Britain was governing the island).

I am going to go through each person and explain why shipping the Philippines with them is bad, even though I really shouldn't need to point out that shipping the Philippines with three of his colonizers is bad.

Let's start with Spain. Now, out of all the people who colonized the Philippines, I know the least about Spain's actions. But, in typical Spanish fashion, war crimes were committed, with massacres being committed, as well as Hispanicization, as well as hundreds of years of revolts against the Spanish. There is no basis for a good relationship with so many years of bad blood. While modern relationships are okay, considering that some people have colonies as the children of empires, it feels a little like incest, or at the very least, having a massive power imbalance.

Next up is the good ol' US of A. Surprise surprise. The United States promised to give the Filipinos independence after the Spanish-American war, and they turned their back on them and made the Philippines a colony. What followed next was the Philippine-American War, a war in which the United States committed several war crimes, such as killing civilians (some of which were children), creating concentration camps for Filipino civilians, and torturing Filipino prisoners through waterboarding (link). This is a small sampling, but it proves how horrible things were.

Not only were there these horrific crimes but there was also a period of Americanization in the Philippines. While the United States did eventually give the Philippines their independence and liberate the country from Japan, that does not erase their record, nor does it abolish the legacy of these crimes. I cannot see the Philippines ever wanting to date the United States because of this.

And lastly, we have Japan. Like in Korea, many Filipino women and girls were forced into sexual slavery. The Japanese also forced Filipino soldiers into concentration camps where tens of thousands of them died from disease and poor conditions and turned the Filipino government into a puppet state. Citizens were also murdered and tortured by the Kempeitai, Japan's secret police.

That is just a summary of the war crimes committed by Japan while occupying the Philippines during WW2. It baffles me that anyone would ship them together. The Philippines would have lived through this. Do you think he would want to date Japan, even if it wasn't the empire of Japan? While Filipino-Japanese relations are much better than they were then, this is still a horrific subject.

Please, just look into their histories.

England x Ireland

Yes, Ireland was a colony of England (and later the UK) for around 800 years, from 1169 to 1918. During that time period, Ireland was subjected to anti-Catholic laws, laws banning certain aspects of Irish culture, Anglicisation, and ethnic cleansing (link), as well as the Irish Famine, which some argue is a genocide. I am not here to get into that debate, but I know pointing out that word will make you pay attention.

Ireland has lost a lot of its culture due to English colonization and laws, and there is a reason why the Irish do not like the English. This ship makes no sense and is insensitive to 800 years of colonization and struggles that the Irish went through in an attempt to keep their culture, language, and identity. There is far too much history for me to list here, but this ship is based on nothing. It is based on a terrible history that far too many people brush aside. Like with so many others on this list, it is insensitive.

Even with modern relations being better, the people of Ireland do not like the English, and this ship, to me, as an Irish citizen, feels like a slap in the face. There is no basis for this ship that makes an ounce of sense.

Israel x Palestine

I have seen this one before. It sickens me, especially with what is currently happening in Gaza. What I hate even more is when people portray it as if Palestine is the instigator of the relationship or that Palestine is forcing Israel into it. I shouldn't need to explain why this ship is horrific and completely senseless.

[gracheeez]

After finishing the map of Europe, decided to play safe and make the South American map, this continent is my most developed one, I also have some kind of love to them since this continent is the one that started all my madness, and also because I am from Peru, Peruvian, living in Peru (all her life) and the chaotic scenario this continent makes is really fun sometimes, It's good to laugh of tragedies, could be considered the best medicine for pain, for me, they are like a big chaotic family, so.... NAMES!!!! Argentina- Oscar Ortiz Romero Bolivia- Marco Antonio Mamani Gutiérrez Brazil- Leandro da Silva Teixeira Chile- Vicente Muñoz Rojas Colombia- Andres Cardenas Morales Ecuador- Arturo Zambrano Cedeño French Guiana- Nathalie Jean Guyana- Bibi Persaud Paraguay- Teresa Benitez Villalba South Peru - Marisol Quispe Rodriguez North Peru- María Elena Quispe Rodriguez Suriname- Kenneth Kalloe Uruguay- Monica Pérez Vera Venezuela- Nancy Castillo Rivero

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Saw this really cool short video about cool outfits

I got a bit inspired by it

The stylist guys’ name is called @/wisdm on Instagram btw. He does cool stuff

Their body bases as a bonus

[river-blue]

New Zealand and South Korea doodles (also my ch artsyle changed because I don’t like using my normal art style for ch)

[weird-infecting]

Eepy 💤

quick doodle for today 🙏🙏

[youvebeeneyedtt]

doodle

1st one was a request

[uknwnnmr]

Since yesterday (14.10) marked the official 2 years of me being back in the Countryhumans fandom (I first joined in 2019) I decided to remake one of my 2022 art pieces.

For that I choose my Countryhumans x Vocaloid one based on the song FLYER! I am also a huge Vocaloid fan so I was like "Why not both" and Japan already had ponytails that were directly referencing Hatsune Miku, anyways

Here's OG from 2022

And remake from 2024

Here's explanation of my choices if u want to read that or hate me for the choices

Japan as Hatsune Miku, obviously as I mentioned her ponytails are referencing Hatsune Miku and she's Japan

USA as KAITO, bc they're both my favorites, yeah that's basically it

South Korea and North Korea as Kagamine Rin and Kagamine Len, this might be a controversial choice but I was originally going to do Asian countries from the areas of Japan (I think it's called East Asia) before deciding not to do so, and the first twins that came to my mind were obviously them, so I decided to go with them

Poland as Megurine Luka, well this is where I decided I do what I want and since I live in Poland and Luka is another one of my favorites I decided to go with Poland for this one

France as MEIKO, lastly we have her, this was really a random choice, there's no reason behind it I just chose a random Countryhuman, and besides it fits in a way? I mean they're both mother

It's a silly little concept I made and had fun with, drawing them as many Vocaloid songs which I listened to 24/7 at the time was a fun way fo get my 2 interests together, I don't really do that anymore but eh

[weirdestbooks]

Secrecy and Deception Chapter 20

Overthrow and Split (Wattpad | Ao3)

Table of Contents | Prev | Next

Event: Guatemalan coup d'état

Location: Guatemala City, Guatemala

Date: June 27, 1954

Guatemala refused to show her fear. She refused to show Armas an ounce of fear and refused to give him any credibility. Despite the parts of her that had been affected by the propaganda meant to discredit President Árbenz, that called him a communist for wanting to help her people and country, Guatemala refused to be shaken.

Armas’s invasion wasn’t particularly strong, and Guatemala had remained hopeful that the revolt could be defeated. 

She should have known she wouldn’t be that lucky. Even though the invasion had done poorly militarily, and Guatemala and her army had defeated most of its defenses, the propaganda had been effective on Guatemala’s army. 

That, combined with fears of a US invasion, because, of course, fucking United States was involved in this shit, she could have expected him from the start when the fuss about communism started being raised, but that fear has caused her army to refuse to fight.

Guatemala tried; she tried to convince her army to fight, to convince her people to fight because they could stop this. If they really tried, they could prevent this.

It didn’t work, and Guatemala felt a looming sense of dread.

“President Árbenz, please, you cannot resign. If Armas is able to take power, I fear what will happen to my people and my country,” Guatemala begged when she heard what President Árbenz planned to do, that he was going to resign due to the invasion. 

“I am sorry, Guatemala, but with the military and people refusing to fight and the fears of a US invasion, I can’t do anything,” President Árbenz said. Guatemala felt like she was going to cry but did her best to push it down. She had to appear strong. That might help motivate people to fight against Armas. 

“There must be something you can do other than just hand Armas power! Just because United States supports him doesn’t mean that no one will support us! There has to be someone that would help, someone who would fight with us if United States invaded,” Guatemala said, pacing and tugging at her hair, feeling as if she were drowning, being pulled under in deep water.

“Guatemala, you know…I am sorry I could not do more for you,” President Árbenz said. Guatemala swallowed down her tears.

“You are an amazing president. I am lucky to have had you. Thank you…for everything you have done. Even the stuff that drew United States anger. It’s not…it’s not truly your fault. That man will do everything he can to cling to power, and he will attack anything he sees as a threat to that power. You have done nothing to make him that way. I don’t want you blaming yourself,” Guatemala said, trying to offer her president some comfort before they departed, knowing the likelihood of Armas letting her speak to him ever again was slim.

“Thank you, Guatemala. What will you do now?” President Árbenz asked. Guatemala sighed.

“I’m not sure. I want to speak to Armas, perhaps, but I also do not want to give him hope that I support him. I think…I think I will return to my home and prepare myself for whatever Armas brings. Perhaps see if I can talk to United States as well,” Guatemala said, before smiling. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve survived worse. I can survive this.”

“I have faith that you can, sir,” President Árbenz said. Guatemala didn’t flinch at the honorific, having spent her whole life being gendered wrong, and simply nodded.

“Thank you, President Árbenz. I…I am going to take my leave now. I don’t want to be here for this,” she said before turning to leave at President Árbenz’s nod.

She felt so helpless. Why did nothing she do work? Why did this have to happen? Why did United States have to be so damn power-hungry?

She didn’t know.

Guatemala wished she did.

• ───────────────── •

Event: Vietnam is split at the 17th parallel. 

Location: Geneva, Switzerland

Date: July 21, 1954

State of Vietnam was upset. Despite all his efforts to avoid a partition of Vietnam, it still happened. His country, split at the seventeenth parallel.

At least it wasn't meant to be a permanent solution. The only thing that could have been worse than what he got would have been that. Still, he had refused to sign the agreement. Only France and the other Vietnam had done that, leaving Vietnam and America to refuse.

At least someone was on his side. 

This plan didn’t seem like one that would last either, not with the concerns over the proposed elections in 1956, not with the detail of their being two Vietnams. 

Vietnam was sure this was going to end badly. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent that partition,” America said, walking to stand beside Vietnam as he lit a cigarette. Vietnam’s language left his mouth with surprising fluency. It was odd. Sometimes, America was fluent, and other times, he couldn’t understand a word Vietnam was saying. It was strange, but so was the man himself.

“You tried,” Vietnam answered, trying to appear composed like he wasn’t as worried as he was.

“Those elections aren’t happening. Are you ready for what’s most likely to come?” America asked.

“A repeat of the Korean War?” 

“What else?” America said before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

“If they didn’t partition my country, that wouldn’t happen!” Vietnam exclaimed, angry, “We could have prevented that, secured my independence, and ended conflict!”

“The communists would probably still fight you, even if there was no partition. It would…conflict would not die,” America said, face troubled. “Although you think we would have learned our lesson after the Second World War.”

“Sometimes violence is necessary for freedom. You should know that, after all, you fought for it as well!” Vietnam said. America was an important ally, but sometimes, he made Vietnam feel more like his subordinate than an equal country.

“I’m your ally in this. Why are you mad at me?” America asked, a sharp, dangerous look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Vietnam said, looking away. “I am just stressed right now.”

America silently passed him the cigarette, and Vietnam took a drag of it before looking up at the sky.

He hoped he didn’t end up embroiled in a war with the other Vietnam.

But frankly, he didn’t see very many other outcomes.

[usa-manors-library]

You Are _____ The Father

(A/N: This is an answer to an ask on my ask blog, @ask-the-usa-manor , but it got pretty lengthy! I wouldn't say it's the best quality since I intended it to be a much shorter blog post and not a full length oneshot, but at least it's fun. Enjoy the crack. So much crack. A substantial amount of crack. A boogie woogie amount, if I may be so bold. But. No real crack. Don't do crack. Do water. Stay hydrated. <3

Ft... LIGHTHEARTED WRITING BY EVE!?! 😱🤯🔥🥣🦆***NOT CLICKBAIT***)

America sighed, content with his world as he picked up his bowl. It was a perfect afternoon. Life wasn't always this easy, but right now, everything felt perfect. The silence was golden, and this quiet peace was a rare escape. One that he normally didn't care for, as he didn't usually like to hear his busy mind. But for whatever reason; right now he was content with it, and he was grateful.

Sunbeams. Silence. Serenity. Soup.

"IT'S HERE!!!"

...South Dakota.

From where he was in the kitchen, America heard a series of crashing noises follow the distant announcement, trailed by a string of Virginia's indignant scoldings.

America cringed inwardly as he heard Dak wave her off with a quick 'sorry.' 

Bad move. He must be really high spirited about something if he's brushing off Ginny's annoyance. A peeved Virginia was a force to be reckoned with. Everyone knows that.

Especially me, America shuddered, perhaps a little too over dramatically as he returned to his lunch, Some days it feels like she's my parent, not the other way around...

He heard the scolding intensify.

...Welp, not my problem, He shrugged, Godspeed, Dak.

If it were anyone other than Ginny, he might've stepped in. However, believe it or not; he was a smart man. Deep down. Deep down. Very, very deep down. Wayyyyyyyy deep down, there was a little. Tiny spark of intelligence. Shocking, he knows.

Smart men didn't get under Virginia's skin. There are less painful ways to murder your soul.

While America shuddered at the thought, the nearby garden door swung open.

"Dad!"

"Don't care, eating soup," America shrugged, taking another spoonful, "Do whatever. Just don't die."

New York (that's odd, he's never in New Jersey's territory- er, 'the garden') kicked his shoes off, "Was that Dak who pulled into the driveway?"

"No, it's your other brother who has a shrine of bumper stickers to Badlands national park and an eerily accurate bobblehead of Mount Rushmore on his dashboard."

New York looked like he was about to shoot something back, but stopped short as a muffled chant started up;

"York, York, York, York."

America slowly lowered his soup. The chanting was getting louder. New York was... seemingly fine with it?

"York, York, YORK, YORK!"

America let out a shaky sigh, "Why is it getting closer?"

"YORK, YORK, YORK!"

"What's happening?"

New York just grinned.

"...Will it harm my soup?"

New York shrugged, "Probably not."

"Good," America turned his attention back to his beloved lunch, "Then I don't care."

"YORK!" South Dakota threw the kitchen door open, waving an envelope in the air. Virginia was right on his heels, still glaring daggers at him.

"Dak! Dak-man. Cadilldak. Dakbook," New York grinned.

America's eyebrows shot up. New York smiling at the sight of one of his brothers screeching at him while bursting into the room?

...Who's going to die?

"It's here!" South Dakota repeated triumphantly, handing New York the mail, "The paternity test's here!"

America almost choked on his food as he broke into a coughing fit. Virginia stared at him.

"Great!" NY cackled, snatching the envelope and blatantly ignoring his dying father, "So, have you heard from Connecticut? Is everything ready on his end?"

"Don't ask me, I'm just the guy you bribed into picking this up."

"Smartass," New York shook his head, "Alright. Let's go, Dad."

"Pardon?" America wheezed out, placing his soup on the counter.

"What? All those wars and you're going to let a soup take you out?"

America knows flipping off his own son is wrong.

But damn.

Does he want to.

"I have several questions," He started, uncertain if he really wanted to have that knowledge.

"And they'll be answered," New York assured, "If you come with us."

America paused and took a moment to process the situation. He looked to Virginia for help. She lingered for a moment, before shaking her head and walking away. Not her job, not her struggle.

Meanwhile, hesitation was the entirely wrong response.

"Dak," New York deadpanned.

South Dakota nodded, "On it, chief."

SD dashed forward and, to America's horror, grabbed the bowl of soup before swiftly returning to the opposite side of the room.

America gaped at him. After a long moment, he regained his voice;

"...Dak-"

South Dakota tilted the bowl ever so slightly, threatening to spill the bowl's contents. America froze.

"...You wouldn't," He said sharply, a look of devastation and disbelief in his eyes. Disbestation? Devastelief?

Dak stared right back at him, "Would I?"

"What is he paying you?" America bargained desperately, "I'll double it! Just hand me the soup."

"Sorry, Pops. New York's paying me in free entertainment. I doubt you could top it."

"This is how you repay me?" America hissed, the searing knife of betrayal at the hands of is own sons twisting into the gut, "After I fed you? Put clothes on your back? Raised you-?"

South Dakota tilted the bowl a little more, the soup right against the edge.

America immediately raised his hands in surrender. South Dakota and New York exchanged grins.

"...Alright, alright," He inhaled sharply, "You win this time. Where are we going?"

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

Some days, America felt like his children were walking 'practice protection' ads. Very convincing 'practice protection' ads. This, was one of those days.

"When did you even...?" America glanced around, "...Get all of this?"

He was fairly certain he was on a stage, one decorated like a stereotypical talk show set. A vaguely familiar one, might he add. They must of modeled it after a real show.

A curtain was separating the stage from what he assumed was an audience. It worried him at first, before he picked out the voices and realized that they definitely belonged to his own kids. Then, it no longer worried him.

It terrified him.

South Dakota stood on the left wing, offstage and still holding America's soup hostage. He even put it in a prop cage he found in the back... America wondered if he could take legal action and put the 'sue' in soup.

"Well, we were originally expecting to use it for you," New York admitted, "Clearly, we still are, just... in a different way than anticipated."

New York motioned to one of the armchairs. America accepted the offer and sat down.

After a couple minutes, he closed his eyes. Maybe this is all a dream. Maybe he's still at home, with his leftover soup still in the fridge and ready to be reheated. Maybe-

Hearing three sets of new footsteps, America cracked his eyes open. 

Nope, not a dream, He determined, A nightmare.

"Blackmail?" America questioned the newcomer taking a seat across from him.

England looked severely annoyed as he huffed, "Scotland."

"Thought so," America nodded. He glanced at the other, "And you?"

"Fear of Wales," Britain answered lightly, "And your offspring."

"Which one?"

"That's a rather loaded question."

"Now then!" Connecticut clapped his hands together with a smile on his face, "We can get started."

The three countries present were incredibly unsure if the wanted that. They didn't even know what 'that' really is. Of course, nobody cares what they want. At the end of the day, they were outnumbered 3 to Lord knows how many.

"Yorkie," Connecticut held out his hand, "The results, please."

New York stared down Connecticut, making no move to hand him the envelope.

"I had him first," NY stated sharply, "I knew him before you.��I get to be him."

"I had him last," Connecticut huffed, "I had the latest version of him."

"I had the classic."

"He wasn't born there."

"He wasn't born at your place either!"

America and Britain watched the argument like a tennis match, eyes darting back and forth between the two states.

South Dakota was recording the ordeal on his phone, which in hindsight was pretty useless considering California set up cameras for 'the aesthetic.'

England was trying his best to dissociate from the entire situation, glaring at the wall and wondering what different life choices he could've made to prevent any of this from even existing. 

"Fine then," New York grumbled, "If we want to stay on schedule... Where was Maury born?"

In an instant, the envelope was snatched from New York's hands. The two formerly arguing states stared in bewilderment at the man who slipped in under the radar.

Eyes glimmering, suit still on from work, District of Colombia beamed.

"...It's my time to shine."

Crickets.

This can't be real.

"...You said you weren't coming," Connecticut blinked, "You're always 'too busy' for this stuff."

DC shrugged, "A man's allowed to change his mind."

"So, you really want to host?" New York asked incredulously, looking DC up and down, "...You?"

"I can have fun too, dammit."

Connecticut and New York exchanged glances.

"...I mean," Connecticut conceded, "I don't see a problem with it." 

New York shrugged, "If there's one thing you've shown us through the decades, it's that sometimes your only gift is entertainment."

"Thank you," DC nodded curtly, "...Bi-"

"But," Connecticut cut in, "We're co-hosting."

"Sounds fine-"

"Don't even argue," New York interrupted, "We're older."

"I didn't-"

South Dakota checked his watch, "And we're on in three, two...!"

The stage curtains opened, revealing an audience mostly consisting of family members with nothing better to do today. Applause prompted by the blinking 'applause' sign eventually died down. It was relatively quiet, except for continued rapid clapping from...

America squinted, eyes still adjusting to the stage lights.

Iowa.

"Woo!" Iowa cheered. He leaned over to the seat right to him- Nebraska- and whispered, pointing to America, "I knew that guy in college, Neb."

"That's our father," Nebraska deadpanned, "You've known him since you were born."

A hand from the row behind them took advantage of the exchange and stole a clump of their popcorn unnoticed. Cayman Islands was now completely prepared for the dumpster fire of a show to start.

This caught Arkansas's eye, and he leaned over to the popcorn thief.

"What's your name again?"

"C-"

"AndcanIpleasehavesomeofyourpopcorn?"

"-ayman."

"Thanks!" Arkansas smiled brightly, taking a quarter of his cousin's spoils.

Cayman stared off into space. He has to stop falling for that crap one of these days.

"I'd applaud, but," Michigan shrugged apologetically as he stared at Britain, who offered him an awkward smile and tried not to make eye contact with his nephew's clear lack of right arm, "You know how it is."

"Hello ladies, gents!" Connecticut greeted, "All of you who don't deserve such respectable titles! Welcome to tonight's trash television episode, Are You the Father? to avoid copyright infringement! Thanks for coming out! Who's in the house tonight?"

"Well, Colorado's here, higher than the waist on DC's trousers, " New York jabbed, ignoring his the capitol's glare as a spotlight briefly shone on Colorado. Colorado simply threw a peace sign before the spotlight went to another person in the crowd, "England's dad Wessex is here, somehow still not dead. Great job, Gramps. Keep making England wish you were for the res of ust."

"Speaking of Wessex," DC added, "What a perfect way to Segway into business! Now, 1,096 year old England claims to be the father of 5,258 month old United States of America. But America's younger half-brother, Britain, has some doubts about the validity of his father's words."

"...I do?" Britain muttered to himself, confused.

"Yes! You do," Connecticut prompted, "Why is that, Britain?"

"Oh... Uh..."

For once in his life, Britain seemed reluctant to insult someone.

New York nudged him, "...You won't hear a peep from us for a month-"

In a flash, UK pounded the arm of his chair with his fist.

"F%^* THAT YANK," He bellowed, "THAT'S WHY."

A bleeping sound via Utah with a censorship button echoed from the stage speakers. He's not even supposed to be there, he volunteered 5 minutes before the show and when nobody answered him he made himself comfortable.

New York nodded his head, as if to say; 'Keep going.'

"...Well then," Britain continued, "He's a total piece of—"

Utah kept the bleeping up until it was all you heard when Britain opened his mouth. At this point, the country wasn't even swearing. He was just reading his grocery list aloud.

"@%*% +^%{%]* +#^]*^{^[+ *]+}+!|]!,¥\+[+@&/!" Britain finished, "If that wasn't bad enough, he's a TWO DOZEN EGGS—"

"Thank you, Britain. I think that's all Utah can handle for now. He gets physically sick when he has to censor someone," DC elaborated.

"I mean, just look at him," New York motioned to the offstage unnaturally pale Beehive State, "Frail Victorian child lookin' mother—"

Utah shot him a warning look. 

"—'s favorite child who we all appreciate. And who might need to hand the remote to Nevada before he passes out—"

"So. England," Connecticut moved on, "You're the only person here who currently knows if America's your real son, or if you just snatched him Russian-Empire-and-Finland style. Anything to say on that?"

"Thank you for giving me the final push I needed to decide that a restraining order's mandatory," England solemnly answered.

The three hosts exchanged glances. They really didn't have the legal team to handle this. At least they didn't think so, considering their legal team was Rhode Island with a baseball bat.

"America," DC immediately continued, looking at the third victim- Ehm, 'guest'- his father.

America's eyebrows climbed up as he slowly turned to face DC, "...What did you just call me?"

"Right, sorry," DC quickly backtracked, "Terribly unprofessional of me Mr. United States, sir."

"That's not what I..." America gave up halfway into his sentence and simply sighed, "...Never mind. When can I get my soup back?"

"How does it feel to possibly be fatherless?"

"When can I get my soup back?"

"Want to expand on your answer?"

"When can I get my soup back?"

"I see. How does that make you feel?"

"Hungry. When can I get my soup back?"

"Is that hunger for the truth about who your father is?"

America stared at him like he was an idiot. To be fair, we don't have the evidence to disprove that claim.

"It's hunger," He explained at a tortoise's pace, leaning forward in his chair, "For. Soup."

"Interesting."

"Chicken. Noodle."

"Ah," DC awkwardly nodded, "That's a good one."

"I ask. For so little."

America held eye contact with the capitol for an uncomfortably long amount of time without blinking.

NY leaned over to Connecticut.

"...I can't believe I'm saying this," He muttered, "But we may need to cut the musical number."

After a couple extra moments of watching the scene in front of him, Connecticut acquiesced.

"Cut the musical number," Connecticut approved, "This is only a pre-show, I doubt the audience would care. Get to the results before he starts crying."

"Which one?" New York huffed, "They both look pretty friggin' close to tears."

"Yes."

On the edge of them, really. Neither of them looked like they wanted to be in this situation, and District of Colombia came here willingly. 

"Washdistbia!" New York called over, "Stop trembling like a half-drowned kitten and wrap it up!"

Somehow, DC was able to drag himself out of the numbing paralyzation he found himself in and managed to look away from the haunting stare of America.

"Right," He answered shakily, "On to the results. In the case of 5,258 month old USA-"

"It's okay to say 438 years old, I can take it-"

"Englad, you are..."

Everyone watched in silence as he made an effort to open the letter.

It took him a solid three minutes.

It was a regular paper envelope.

"...Missing out on our new discounts! Get a brand NEW Ford F-150 for 30%-" DC blinked.

He read the paper. Then reread it. Then read it once more.

He glanced in the envelope again. Nope, nothing else. Just amazing deals for this autumn brought to yOU BY THE EVER AMERICAN [EAGLE SOUND] FREEDOM INFUSED-

Utterly lost, he looked to the others.

"...What the hell is this?" He asked, lifting up the 'results' in question.

A murmur of 'don't look at me's fell upon the stage and audience. Backstage, South Dakota cursed under his breath.

"I knew I should've asked them to stop mailing me my coupons," Dak sighed.

What.

"You get your junk mail from..." Connecticut took a deep breath, "The paternity testing lab?"

"Yeah," Dak admitted nonchalantly, "My grandma lives there."

America looked up hopefully, "Mom?"

"NO-"

Abruptly, the outro music started blasting. Without uttering a sound, England stood and walked away stage left. He hates you all. Especially Aili.

"...Well, that was... that," New York checked the time on his phone, "I'm going to take my seat and... pretend like I didn't just waste my afternoon."

It took America 0.5 seconds to practically hurl South Dakota out of his way so he could reclaim his soup. 

Britian rushed... away. Simply away. He is gone. He will not return. Everyone wave goodbye. Goodbye, Britain. He's free. Freedom. He's free. F r e e...

Ish.

"Goodnight everyone!" Connecticut bid with a wave, following the others off the stage, "Enjoy Florida on I Can't Believe It's Not Dr. Phil!"

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

"...How'd you get my DNA, anyway?"

"You're a heavy sleeper after you cry. Pretty easy to get after Homeward Bound."

(A/N: I want soup.)

[transminh-binhphuong]

So August 15th was my bias birthday, aka the establishment day of the Republic of Korea

Happy birthday my babygirl

[zackzona2005]

Countryhumans: South Park MJ

I made this edit of MJ from South Park as my CH MJ art, which I did a while back. Idk why but I like it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=dZz0axVISj8