#couldnt have happened at a worse time
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Somehow
My apple pencil fell out of my bag when i got gas this morning
Stopped by the gas station on the way home to find it by the very pump i got gas at. It had clearly been run over a couple of times
BUT IT STILL WORKS
and ive already ordered replacement tips, a cap, and a case!
#literal miracle#i was so terrified it wouldn't work#ough#i wanted to draw today BUT HAD NO DAMN STYLUS#ive been stressed about this little fuckin pen all day#worried id have to drop $100 on a new one#cuz literally in a week im starting art full time#couldnt have happened at a worse time#but the universe threw me a bone#holy fuck
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I know that we got plenty of options as to how everything with the Ender King is going to go down, but a thought that has not left my mind was the idea of the Ender King downing qPhil in some way and taking him away. Which means there would be a chat message for all to see :)
For example :)
#qsmp#qsmp philza#this could be better or worse depending on how many people qPhil tells about the whole mess (itll probably be 0 tbh)#cause if he tells no one#not even his kids#then it will be a gut punch#like pov you are chayanne and tallulah#you just lost your godfather in Tubbo#you may have just lost someone who really cares for you in Bad#and you gotta hold onto your dad right? if something was wrong he would have told you right? he promised to not keep secrets right?#and now hes gone without a word#was the Ender King that much of a threat that he could take your dad without any hint that it could happen? or were there just signs#that you missed. that you could have seen and stopped. you could have saved your dad but you didnt. why didnt you notice him change?#and to a lesser extent there is also the gut punch to fitmc#pov you are fitmc#phil promised to keep you updated on all the hallucination stuff and hasnt said anything to you about it in a long time#thats a good sign right? itd be bad if the Ender King was real and came to help phil anyway#he had some crying obsidian appear in his inventory? clearly the admins are messing with him it couldnt be anything#and now hes gone#and you find out that he was hiding things from you from his children#there were more messages more hallucinations#why didnt he tell you?#did he not trust you? hes right to do it but you thought he trusted you with this at the very least#and now#what do you do?#you dont even know where to start in looking for him#did he really trust you that little?
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")
and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀
#horror it's all your fault you played with fire and now you are not about to get burned you are about to DIE#oh its probably so nervewracking....... he legit could die horror doesnt know if the other two would take mercy on him#he's been an ass all this time ‼️ he has been manipulative and lied ‼️ he has shittalked them at their lowest ‼️ he is FUCKED#or WORSE they just end up dragging this out and driving him crazy with paranoia (this is in fact what would happen)#not that he particularly regrets not being nice to killer and dust because why should he and why do they deserve it but like. GODAAMN IT#couldnt it HURT just to be a LITTLE nicer past horror???? now youre gonna DIE because you were too much of an asshole!!!!!!! fuck#but maybe he doesn't die? maybe he actually lives when the two find him and eventually#would that be worse actually yes in fact it would. if he wants anyone to find out he's actually immortal it would NOT be dust and killer#death seems much more inviting than being hunted down by those two. oh SHIT REAPER WAIT DONT TOUCH HIN#if killer and dust worked together they could probably create a torture situation that not even a tank personified would mentally survive#this seems like another one of my ideas in my head that seems bright and comedic but in reality would just be terrifying#i like it piccasso. now just set it in horrortale and then you have horror in the place of all the people he killed#all the people he hunted down all the innocents and now he gets to feel what they felt when he chased them down#the fear and nervousness of being watched of being toyed with of knowing that youre already stuck in a maze with no exit and no way back#yeah i'd kill myself the psychological horror i'd feel would just be too much dust and killer can just kill me for all i care I GIVE UP#wouldnt it be funny if dust and killer never even touch horror they just chase him until he passes out#that would be sooooo silly LMAO. bitchass we didnt even touch you and you passed out from panic and exhaustion??? COWARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣#dust and killer would never let that memory be forgotten trust. trust. i love it when they taunt and torture eachother#GOD can we get some self not so self inflicted pain onto these 3 😒😒😒 more than they already have but whatever#dont worry guys they took horror home after he passed out and when he woke up fed him a bit of soup to replenish his energy#and then they played a roblox obby to calm down and also relax and then they fell asleep all zzzrkkk mimimimi shoooo like 3 little kitties#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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my memory has been so bad lately n i know my sparse sleeping isnt helping (which isnt even a choice i just. dont sleep as long as i usually do for some reason i usually regular 9-16 hours but now im waking up naturally on less n staying up longer) but man i. cannot remember yesterday at all i know we went to the parade but it feels like a dream i cant remember it
#even reading back the texts i sent my bf about it none of it feels properly familiar#i remember telling them but not the actual moment of being there#winter really to b always beating my ass#i used to have my dizziness at an all time high around the holidays when i was younger#i thought i was free but apparently not o(-<#ive been getting hit w the dizziness n migraines just like i was 13 again#im honestly scared of it getting worse#there were points i literally could not leave the house because i couldnt walk#id just feel the ground falling out from under me and lose my depth perception and everything would go foggy#i really hope im not regressing back into that#i was doing so well i was ok#i could go to the mall again which was a main trigger for it#so is my mom's voice#specifically her angry tone#the sounds of cutlery#general smell of holiday dinner#i still havent been able to go to the grocery store since i was a ki. bc the more it gets set off the more it happens n the more triggers#are made. and im terrified !!!!!#i genuinely couldnt live i just slept all day everyday when i was 15 in a mound of garbage#i would say i need to go back to my therapist/psychiatrist but even they dont know what it is#they just go oh huh :) weird. anyways
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come on torn head of the biceps muscle....... you know it's me.......
#couldnt make urgent care today because we're in a heat bubble and the car has no AC and i have lupus#but i have an appointment early tomorrow morning.#i keep moving wrong and feeling it tear worse. I Am So Injured.#complete with the almost fainting bc my blood pressure drops like a stone every time it happens. bc i pass out when injured.#race against time to keep it from becoming a complete tear. i guess.#stupid. this usually doesnt happen to people until theyre at least 40. but i am special.#I HAVE SHIT TO DOOOOOOOO but instead today i shall lay in bed. being so hurt. amazing.#whine complain moan. etc. i'll be fine i just Hate Ittttt#autoimmune tag
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Out of the characters you know which one of them do you think their situation is the most fucked up
ohhh this one is hard hm. i think roxas specifically in kh2 is a good candidate though. it has to be the kh2 stuff though because thats where like 80% of his existential dread is.
#akiren is pretty high up on that list for me but i think thats just recency bias#but also poor guy is going through it at all times his situation legit sucks#i mean i think the badness of situations should be like. considered relative to the storys setting#and in the semi realistic modernish setting of p5 i think his situation is like. absolute garbage like damn#so roxas is higher up on this list because just generally i think his struggles are worse. but also theyre things that couldnt possibly-#-happen in other stories so it feels like an unfair comparison#like in the setting of kh? his situation is terrible but not too abnormal#like its worse. but theres other people in similarly bad situaitons like repliku (rip repliku roxas wouldve loved you)#but roxas was kinda the narratives punching bag#anyways i have the specification for roxas bc his situation varies. very greatly. depending on the game#like in days it sucks hes depressed hes working the worlds worst 9 to 5 with only one day of UNPAID time off but at least its not all of kh#anyways kris deltarune is also really high up on this list#shoutout to kris being possessed making me a huge fan of silent protagonists. what is going on in their head. kris walked so akira could ru#except not really i played deltarune after p5 so#ummm who else#akechi was in a bad situation but he did do a lot of that to himself#so i cant really judge that on the same level. like oh nooo the consequences of your actionssss#anyways thats my favorite little guys who suffer tier list#i need to make a tier list for my blorbos and rank them based on suffering
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thinking about law school and im so excited to be back in an academic environment
#mine#im applying for 2025 fall sessions !!!!!#i dont think ill get into any of the best schools or the ones i want tbh but wherever i go im ready to study again#also to have a part time job instead of full time#“dont work in your first year of law school its overwhelming blah blah blah” have u considered im poor#my electricity bill went up 300% this month and i couldnt even afford to buy pads#they had to put me on a month union fee waiver too#companies are so mf greedy#whatever happens even tho ill be overwhelmed there is no future for me in which i am not working#i took a month off in between jobs and this is the thing i regret the most in my life#it was so expensive#and i didnt even do well on the lsat tho i studied everyday so it was basically a waste#“oh but you got to rest” no i didnt actually i was stressed af everyday and not getting any money#whats worse is my new job ive been working a month almost and still i wont get paid until mid november#im pinching pennies at this point#in debt bc of pads#now thats $14 i already didnt have but have even less#didnt realize my life would be a living example of why capitalism is bad#like i hear all these stories#didnt know that would be me#even tho ive struggled a lot in my life#but living on my own ive never done financially well#also was born in poverty which is great#my family had some money as i grew up tho so i experienced some comforts#i think im a weird person#rant in the tags
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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adding this to the list of Severely fucking stupid absrad deaths
BUT!! (under cut so as to not Clog)
we fucking got there in the end baby
(did a couple tries for radiant, then was Swept Away by the Migraine. We’ll get there.)
#z talks#hk#hollow knight#uhhhh. yeah i sat and played for like 6 hours (with a lunch break). relevant is also that i Slept for 6 hours (max).#and the whole day i had a headache sneaking up on me and i was like. Nooooo it’d just a tension headache I don’t have any migraine symptoms#(voice of guy who’s stubbornly ignoring their light and sound sensitivity to keep fighting absrad)#And then eventually it. Got so bad i couldnt focus on the game anymore. And i was like. Ok thats it no more game.#And then went to pick up a package (literal 300m walk) Both bc it was the last day to pick it up And to be like ok. If this is a tension -#- headache itll get Better. If it’s a migraine itll get Worse.#I’m fine the walk THERE. But then about halfway home it’s fucking Go Time for the migraine lmfaoooooo#(it was also Hot. and Sunny.)#by the time i got home i was like a solid. 9. on the uh. 1-10 pain scale. GREAT.#anyway then i took my prescription sumatriptan BELOVED and it got better within the hour and now im down to like a . 1-2#which is so insanely good like. that never happens to me even when i DONT have a migraine. LMAO#anyway. this has been the fucking. Daily ted talk about my chronic migraine#dont worry a 9 isnt. Well it is a lot. But it’s not NEW .#happens occasionally#it hurts a Fucking Lot#i didnt even clock it as a 9 at first i was like. god… why would an 8 hurt this bad…#and then i iced my head for 15 minutes and it got better and i could think better and was like. wait no THIS is the 8. THAT was a NINE#im just glad i have fucking medication for it now#before i had to survive on PARACETAMOL. didnt do jack shit#had i not had the sumatriptan i Would still be in that much pain and probably writhing in bed unable to sleep lmfao#unmedicated chronic migraine Not Fun. do not try at home.
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🦋
#seeing idiots phrase things re:biden as 'bUt TrUmP wOuLd bE wOrSe' 'hEd dO tHe SaMe tHiNg BuT kIlL pPl hErE tOo--'#makes me feel filthy. just reading the thought process makes me feel like i bathed in blood.#remember when biden first took office&ppl (ESP ppl from places w history being torn the fuck apart by usamerican presidents+policy)#were openly trepidatious about it bc trump had gone thru 2 separate secretary of defenses (one of which was fucking mad dog mattis)#specifically bc hes a toddler who couldnt sit thru meetings about international policy#while biden already had A Lot of history that left international blood all over his fucking hands#&ppl SCREAMED about 'WUT ABOUT US???? SO YOU JUST THINK WE SHOULD ALL DIE??? YOU JUST THINK WE SHOULD LET TRUMP KILL US ALL???'#'WE'RE JUST TRYING TO SAVE OURSELVES--'#the selfishness was palpable&disgusting when it was happening&seeing ppl in real time transmit that feeling directly into#'yeah theres a genocide going on BUT THINK ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE TO GO THRU WHAT YOU THINK TRUMP WOULD BE BETTER???#YOU WANT US ALL DEAD??? YOURE ALL SO MEAN. >:('#makes me feel disgust that i usually reserve exclusively for pigs+billionaires.#im glad nothing ever disappears on the internet. i hope these cunts are haunted by their centrism in the times that come.#palestine will be free and when historical revisionism tries to make all these ppl feel better about themselves by downplaying#their complicity in this horror there will be no running from their own fucking record of selfishness.
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always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds
#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN#personal#im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so#im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so.#the energy’s doing Great#and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing#genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed????????#i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then#im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms#usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way#but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with#so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare?#still more sick than i’ve been in……..years?#im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week#this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer#hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!!#and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like—#starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis#im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune#i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months#idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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my manager is WAY too fucking nice to me im gonna explode
#emeto tw#emeto cw#in tags ->#i started having a panic attack at work earlier but i didnt really get the chance to go in back and chill for a bit so it just got worse#like REALLY fucking bad worse than ive had in . at least years maybe Ever. i have not thrown up in over a decade now but#i started fucking dry heaving behind the register i REALLY thought i was going to be sick it was a close thing#i couldnt even call my coworker up i just had to fucking dip and pray she realized i was gone (she did thank fuck)#and then i was shaking really bad really freaking out still fucking dry heaving in the back of the store and it was just.#easily one of the worst experiences ive had in a LONG time like december will not leave me alone <- covid then appendicitis and now this WH#and my manager hadnt been in the store at the time but she came in thru the back and saw me and i was like hey haha funny story#and she was so concerned and told me to stay in back as long as i needed and that i could go home if i wanted to etc etc#ended up bringing my bag back for me and bringing me water and she checked in on me every 5-10 mins until my parents finally got there#she was rly nice and rly understanding and then the coworker i abandoned who is also kind of my manager. also came back#and SHE was ALSO super fucking sweet about it really concerned didnt want me to feel bad abt it (i feel so fucking bad abt it)#i did end up having to go home early bc. dear god. and i texted my manager just now asking if i could leave a bit earlier tomorrow#bc im supposed to have another 8 hour shift but i didnt even make it to 4 hours today and im rly nervy abt it happening again#and she straight up was like 'are you sure? i was genuinely planning on covering your shift myself' SHE DOESNT EVEN WORK UP FRONT#SHE'D BE GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE REGISTER AND KITCHEN AND SHE'D BE THERE FOR AT LEAST OVER 12 HOURS#like okay. okay. when i texted my parents abt it dad told me 'its probably just nerves. try to push through it'#but my manager and coworkers r gonna be the sweetest kindest most understanding people about it. okay. sure. okay.#surely u see why i am exploding WHY ARE THEY SO NICE?????????? i feel so fucking guilty GOD#alyalyoxenfree
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finally got to the max and mrs. guthrie scenes in my rewatch and oh.... wait... i think drowning the cat might mean smth different than max acquiescing finally to the violence of colonial rule and abuse...
#see i thought its obviously abt max's worldview & the necessary evil of accepting standard violence to prevent worse unpredictable violence#i.e. appealing to the hand that feeds to stop it from beating. working w the colonial government as inevitable to stop harsher punishments.#but like. i said once before i think its also important to remember max is very good at telling ppl what they want to hear and its clear#that mrs guthrie wants to hear that max 1. can be ruthless#2. is capable of stopping the cycle in nassau (the cucle of the cat) aka not asking mrs guthrie to finance a worthless investment#and 3. relates to mrs guthrie specifically and she is a woman that casually wields her privilege#she wants max to do all those things and this time around watching i noticed the implications max regrets what happened in nassau#and considers her efforts to appeal to the higher power failed#and like. the way this convo is had w mrs guthries question 'which are you in this cycle?' and max's answer directly situated around where#the dude asks max where her slave laborers r in her accounts and max says she refuses to have any#and it feels rlly pointed#max says drown the cat but we know she HASNT. she passively accepts certain things w her power but doesnt actively step on ppl to get there.#she couldve casually used slave labor in nassau to get more money in her power but refuses unlike jack.#she couldve turned idelle and featherstone over easily when asked to gain her own safety but refused#she couldve killed or turned over silver so easily but said herself she couldnt live with it if she did#im not sure i buy she comes down this hard on the issue of drowning the cat even jaded after the raid & eleanors death & annes neardeath#i think she mightve been just telling mrs guthrie what she wanted to hear. that max was willing LIKE HER to use whatever privilege she had#access to to squash those beneath in favor of 'smart' ambition.#mrs guthrie is an aged eleanor. a rich white woman in the new world who bought her power by acquiescing to the few oppressions laid on her#by becoming the role of silent wife and mother to appeal to her husbands control and violence. and using the leverage she had left#being rich & white to control everything else. its what eleanor did securing her status becoming the colonial governors wife & helping him#w his violence. its what mrs guthrie asks max to do to prove to her that max is right for the investment she wants#and she refuses#idk thoughts full head many im turning max over in my mind in the salad spinner. i need to think more on it#black sails#my post
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ohh you fuck up the crows timeline? you remove the context and weight from iconic book scenes? jail for netflix, jail for netflix for a thousand years
#i'm malding so hard im turning into miette#shadow and bone#sorry for being a hater but fuck the crows plotline this season#why did you even have them here tbh if you have to speedrun the plot of crooked kingdom just to make them fit into the grisha trilogy#just dont! none of the scenes they ripped from crooked kingdom fucking work because none of the set up has happened#im having mixed feelings about immediately canonising wesper as well bc i love wesper so much but having them know each other and#immediately like each other removes a lot of the fun of them learning to discard their assumptions of each other#like jesper knowing wylan is a van eck before becoming romantically involved informs so much of their interactions and its like. urghgghgh#i've complained about this so much everywhere but its worse now that ive finished the season and had an ok time with the grisha trilogy stu#ff why couldnt they have left the crows out of it instead of stomping all over the books#ive seen some people say that a good adaptation doesnt have to be book accurate but you cant just rearrange scenes from the books however#you'd like because they stop working without the whole previous book of set up
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