#couldn’t even take my usual fatigue nap

[justanillvampire]

You know post concert depression, but instead its before appointment depression/s idealisation.

[risuola]

INFINITY — F. READER x GOJO SATORU

When was the last time you slept? You couldn't tell, but Satoru was determined to get you to rest.

cw: slightly angsty if you squint, just idiots in love unable to communicate properly, death mentioned (the usual jjk content) — 1,3k words

a/n: i'm going through my wips, finishing them finally and posting, don't mind me ❥

“When was the last time you slept?”

Satoru’s soft voice entered your mind and brought it back to reality. You were exhausted, having no sleep for few days already. Your eyes felt heavy, your mind was foggy and as you tried to push through the fatigue, you struggled to concentrate on even the simplest tasks. Everything felt like it’s taking twice as much effort as usual and more and more often you were catching yourself at making silly mistakes that you wouldn’t normally do. It was probably the fact you were standing at the little kitchen unit in the hotel room you share with Gojo for the mission, and the cup you were trying to fill with water overflown already.

“Shit,” you cussed quietly, putting down the kettle and grabbing the roll of paper towels, knocking a bottle while you reached next to it. Of course it was open and another portion of liquid spilled all over the counter and the floor.

“Hey, whoa, I’ll deal with it,” the strongest was quick to take everything from your hands, smiling in amusement at the soft groan that escaped your mouth. “So? When did you sleep last time?”

“I don’t remember,” you grumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose. The job you had been assigned was taking everything from you and it wasn’t because it was hard. It really wasn’t much above the ordinary and your partner turns every task into a child’s play, but it was the unpredictability of the curses you were targeting that made you go without sleep for a week already. You had at most four hours of rest, broken into short naps when you just passed out and now, you were awake for 43 hours straight. It was taking a toll on your mind and body, the fatigue was like a weight on your shoulders, making your movements sluggish and your thoughts slow.

You sighed, rubbing your eyes aggressively, a desperate attempt to wipe away the foggy haze from your sight. It’s been some time since you don’t see clearly anymore, your brain was pulling tricks on you and though you couldn’t blame it for that, you also wished it to keep up for just a little longer

“Go to sleep,” Gojo told you, wiping away the water that you spilled all over the kitchen area. “I’ll deal with anything that might pop up,” he reassured, though his tone was everything but caring. He was teasing you, his playful nature and smugness fronting in his behavior as always. He wasn’t bothered by the mission, he was doing his job flawlessly and frankly, you were sent with him only to make sure people around are safe because Satoru has a habit of not caring too much about casualties.

“You know I can’t do that,” a groan from you only made the man chuckle. You were in the middle of war – it felt like it, at least – there was a plague of curses, most of them reaching first grade, day after day appearing in bigger quantities and it was straight up way too dangerous to let yourself to drift away. Last time you managed to close your eyes for a little longer than an hour, one of the demons broke into the hotel you were staying in and nearly killed you. It seemed like they were just waiting for the right moment to attack, when your guard is down and you��re vulnerable and you knew that once you fall asleep, you’re not going to wake up on time. Even if Gojo was volunteering to fight, you were convinced the moment he’d step away from you, you’d be dead. And that was the last position on your wishlist.

“I told you I’ll take care of the curses while you’re sleeping, don’t be so dense,” the strongest just shrugged, seemingly unbothered but the grin was ghosting over his lips, making you wish you could wipe it off his stupid handsome face. While you were suffering, Satoru was sleeping just fine, not caring about a thing because he didn’t need to care about being in danger when he always had a nice, protective layer of damn infinity around himself. The world could be burning and not a single spark would reach his sleeping form. Rest was a luxury he was able to afford during this mission and sadly, you couldn’t because once you’re not awake and ready to protect yourself, you’ll be swiped off the board.

“Why would you even bother, huh?” You snapped, not sparing him a look while you approached the window. The streets seemed oddly calm, now as dark as the sky above them, and you wished it would stay normal for the next hours so you would have one less thing to deal with during the night time.

Truth is, the very fact of sharing a job with Gojo is a curse in itself, one impossible to exorcise and it was taking every bit of professionalism that you had in you to just push through it. Your relation with the honored one is difficult. It’s complicated and straight up unpleasant, it seemed like you were stuck in an endless cycle of bickering. Every conversation seemed to turn into an argument, and every disagreement seemed to escalate into a full-blown fight. It was exhausting, emotionally and mentally, it was straining but no matter how many times you tried, you couldn’t manage to break the pattern and instead, you just kept going around in circles. The words you spoke to each other were getting increasingly cutting and the anger was growing with each passing day. Even when you did manage to reach a solution, it was always a matter of time before another conflict would arise and you’d be back to square one. It was as if you were trapped in a maze, with no clear path to a peaceful co-existence and that was enough reason for you to be convinced that Gojo would be the last person on earth worrying about your well-being.

“I don’t want you to die on me because of the lack of sleep, come one,” he shrugged, throwing away the wet paper towels and joining you near the window. “Rest, I’ll stay awake.”

“I’ll get myself a coffee,” you said, not convinced at all. Truth is, only few times you allowed yourself to pass out was when Satoru was awake, because you wouldn’t dare to close your eyes when he was sleeping himself, but you couldn’t trust him. And you’d feel horrible if you made him stay awake just so you can sleep.

“No, seriously, no coffee for you,” he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled towards the bed.

“Gojo, do you not understand—”

“Shhh,” he hushed, manhandling you onto the mattress, forcing your shoes off and gathering the covers to tuck you in as if you were a child.

“I hate you…” Was all you could mumble. It was a torture. The soft pillows underneath your head and warm comforter were so perfect, so inviting for you to just let yourself drift off. You wished to let the heavy eyelids down, to give your eyes the rest they need and allow your brain to reset and clear. You felt like your body was betraying you, the exhaustion was seeping into your bones, making it impossible to move.

“Yeah, yeah,” to your surprise, Gojo pushed his own boots off as well and in a moment he was in bed with you, sharing sheets and pulling you towards himself. “Now, here. You are now inside my infinity. You’re safe, sleep.”

Infinity. It felt safe, suddenly, but was it because of infinity or the man that now had his arms wrapped around you? You couldn’t tell and frankly, you couldn’t speak either, so you just hummed something in response as the sleep has taken you away.

[yoomiwrites]

Sugar Rush¹⁰

Summary: Reader has been working directly under the Admirals, Kuzan, Kizaru and Akainu for years. Little by little, the dynamic changes and friendship (and more) develops. These are all small stories that build on each other. The work is from 2017, not revised and the prologue of Aromatic Rush & Salty Rush.

Note: I was sick, or well, I am sick, so I forgot to post em 3 chapters yesterday.

The late afternoon sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over my room as I lay sprawled out on the bed, feeling more like a lump than a person. My hair was a mess, and my bandages peeked out from under the sleeves of my old, oversized shirt, a clear indicator that I was far from my best. Despite the comfort of my cozy space, the remnants of my vacation disaster weighed heavily on me.

I sighed, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts swirling in a haze of fatigue and disappointment. It was hard to shake the feeling that I had let everyone down, especially my brother, who was still tangled in the mess I had tried to escape. Just as I was about to sink deeper into my melancholy, a soft knock on the door jolted me from my thoughts.

“(F/N)~!” came the cheerful voice of Kizaru, unmistakably bright even through the wood. “Are you in there?”

I winced, debating whether to ignore him or fess up to my current state. But even as I considered shutting him out, I could already hear the doorknob turning.

With a soft click, the door swung open, and Kizaru stepped inside, his usual carefree demeanor shining through. His gaze landed on me, and for a moment, he paused, taking in the sight of my disheveled appearance.

“Wow, you really do look like you’ve been through hell,” he remarked, his voice teasing but his eyes held a flicker of concern. “Did I interrupt a beauty sleep session?”

“More like a disaster nap,” I replied, attempting a smile but feeling it falter. “What are you doing here, Kizaru? I’m not really in the mood.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” He dismissed my protests with a wave of his hand. “I came to check on you. And since I heard you were a little under the weather, I thought I’d whip up something special.”

“Whip up what? I can barely look at food right now,” I muttered, sinking deeper into my pillows.

He crossed the room effortlessly, his presence filling the space with a strange sense of warmth. “Hnnnn, well, I’m not taking no for an answer. I’m a master in the kitchen, you know. Just wait and see.”

I couldn’t help but let out a half-hearted laugh as he turned toward my tiny kitchen, already rummaging through cabinets and drawers like he owned the place. It was absurd to think of him as a chef, but there was something oddly comforting about his energy.

“Do you even know where anything is?” I asked, still half-hidden beneath the covers.

“Of course, I do,” he replied, flashing a smirk over his shoulder. “Besides, I might not be a gourmet cook, but I make a mean grilled cheese.”

I rolled my eyes, but a small smile tugged at my lips despite my best efforts. “You mean you’ve perfected the art of toasting bread with cheese? How impressive.”

“Hey, it’s a classic.” He shot back playfully, moving about the kitchen with the grace of a dancer. “And everyone needs comfort food when they’re feeling down.”

I watched him with a mix of disbelief and amusement as he began pulling out ingredients. The scene felt almost surreal—here was one of the most powerful admirals, known for his prowess in battle, happily buzzing around my tiny kitchen like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Are you sure you know how to work that stove?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. “I wouldn’t want you to set my place on fire.”

Kizaru chuckled, a warm, soothing sound that wrapped around me like a soft blanket. “You wound me! I may have a reputation for being a bit fiery in battle, but I’m not a complete disaster. Now, sit tight. I’ll have this ready in no time.”

I finally relented, pushing myself upright against the headboard, feeling a little more alive as I watched him move. He worked quickly, his movements fluid and confident. It felt nice to see someone so carefree, even in a situation like this.

As he expertly melted cheese on the bread, the inviting aroma wafted through the air, cutting through the fog of my earlier despair. I hadn’t realized how much I missed having someone around, how nice it felt to have company—even if it was just Kizaru acting like he owned the kitchen.

Moments later, he turned back to me with two perfectly toasted sandwiches, looking immensely proud of his culinary creation. “Voilà! Grilled cheese, just like your mom used to make—if your mom was a laid-back admiral with a penchant for lazing about.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound brightening the room. “You know, I think you’ve just elevated my expectations for a ‘laid-back admiral.’”

He settled down on the edge of my bed, handing me one of the sandwiches with a flourish. “And here I thought I was just your average friend.”

“Average? Please,” I shot back playfully, taking a bite. The warm, gooey cheese melted in my mouth, and I felt the tension in my shoulders begin to dissipate. “This is surprisingly good.”

“See? I told you I had skills,” he said, leaning back with a satisfied grin.

I rolled my eyes, though warmth spread through my chest at his confidence. The atmosphere shifted slightly as we both settled into a comfortable silence, eating and just being present with one another.

“Thanks for coming over,” I said quietly after a moment, genuinely grateful. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”

He shrugged, still casual, but his expression softened. “That’s what friends are for, right? Besides, you looked like you needed someone to pull you out of that funk. And if I can do that by cooking grilled cheese, then it’s a win-win.”

I smiled, feeling a sense of ease that I hadn’t anticipated. Having him here felt right, like a piece of home that I had been missing. The stress of the past few days began to melt away, and I finally felt a flicker of light in the dark haze that had surrounded me.

With Kizaru beside me, laughter and warmth gradually filled the room, making it feel like a sanctuary against the chaos of the world outside. In that moment, I realized that maybe I wasn’t just back in my apartment—I was back home.

[eldiatricc]

Heart no Kuni Twin World Gowland 6th Scramble

Event List

Scene - Amusement Park - Main Area

Employee “You can finish up if you’re able to do that. Thank you for your hard work!”

Alice “Eh? There’s still work to do in the venue, isn’t there? I’ll continue!”

Since the horn sounded, all my tasks had revolved around preparing the banquet hall and stage. My usual duties are in public relations and equipment management, so it’s only natural.

Alice “Besides, I just stepped out of my work a little while ago.”

During the preparations, a storm hit the clock tower, and I was allowed to go check on the situation. I ended up having a terrible experience of being caught in a tornado…

Alice (I should expect something to happen in this territory, too. Gowland said that, didn’t she?)

I think that way too. Along with the tension of everyone changing, the anxiety about an unknown natural phenomenon is significant.

Once again, I dreamed of the mysterious eggs. I couldn’t help but wonder about how they happily stated, “A storm will soon come to the amusement park.”

Alice (That was a dream. It might just be reflecting my own anxiety, but…)

Alice (But for some reason, it also feels like it’s not just that.)

Anyway, for now, I can only do what I need to do. Gowland is determined to carry out the event no matter what happens.

After setting up the signboard for the performance on the stage, I moved to the entrance of the amusement park. I was going to set up a sign here as well to announce the special event.

Just placing the signboard would cause it to blow away in the wind. I managed to secure it with weights and tied it tightly to the nearby streetlight with rope, when I was told it was time to finish.

Employee “You went out to check the situation at the clock tower, right? That’s not a break; it sounds like you had a tough time.”

Employee “It’s fine. We’ll be finishing up once we put away our tools, and another team is taking care of the venue.”

Alice “Is that so? Then, what about the banquet hall?”

Employee “That’s also being handled by another team right now. You can take a break.”

Employee “You’re still such a hard worker. If you overdo it before the main event, you’ll be exhausted later.”

Employee “You got swept up in a tornado and were feeling dizzy, right? It’s better not to push yourself.”

As they tidied up the tools and leftover rope, the surrounding employees showed their concern.

Alice “...Ugh. Well, that is true…”

The storm is finally approaching this territory. I didn’t expect to be able to take a break at this tense stage.

The tornado incident was certainly shocking, and if anything, I am grateful for the concern. However, I can’t help but wonder what I should do.

Alice (It’s not like I feel like leisurely reading or taking a nap. If anything, if I can...)

Alice “...I understand; I’ll take a break. Is it okay if I go to the sound booth for the stage?”

Employee “Eh? Does that mean you’re going to practice?”

Employee “In that case, it’s not really a break! Please make sure to rest properly; the owner has also said not to push yourself.”

Alice “Is that so?”

Alice (I thought they were unusually eager to recommend a break, so that’s what it is.)

Alice (Gowland… I’m not so fragile to need that much fuss.)

That said, it’s true that the schedule is demanding. When I think calmly, even though I’m energetic now, I might accumulate fatigue later.

Alice (But a little practice with the mixer should be okay, right?)

Since I'm not used to it, I want to review how to use the sound equipment as many times as necessary. However, another employee nearby suddenly interjected as if remembering something.

Employee “Oh, the sound booth is currently being used by another team. It’s for the magic show!”

Alice “A magic show? Ah, by Boris’s team.”

Alice (I see. I won’t even be able to touch the sound equipment.)

Someone from the same group might be practicing even with a small number of people. Should I look for them and join in…?

But then, I might get scolded by Gowland for not resting properly. Even if I visit Boris’s team, I might just be a nuisance…

Alice (It’s probably best to give up and truly take a break.)

Alice “...I’ll take a break until the time changes. Is it alright if I return to help with the venue after this?”

Employee “Yes, please do that! See you later!”

Alice “Yeah, see you later. Thank you for your hard work.”

We exchanged words and parted ways. As I walked back toward the mansion, I started to think about what to do next.

Alice (Even if I stay in my room, I’d probably just end up checking the script for the musical...)

I had already looked over the script so many times that the pages were starting to bend. It would be a waste to spend time just increasing my anxiety without doing anything.

Since I decided to take a break, I should properly refresh my mind.

Alice (I need to come back when the time changes. I don't have much time, but… should I go out?)

Speaking of refreshing my mind, going out is the best option. Although everywhere else already has storms approaching, so I can’t really take it easy…

Alice (Things are pretty intense everywhere. It might be good to check the situation again and brace myself.)

Alice (...Yeah, I’ll go take a look.)

Deciding to go out, I turned on my heel. As for my destination…

Alice (...I should definitely avoid the Heart Castle. Peter might say something.)

I thought he might complain when I lost the go-kart race, but he surprisingly acknowledged his defeat and went home.

However, if I run into him now, the topic will likely turn back to the musical.

Hatter's Mansion

Clock Tower

Hatter's Mansion

Alice (I'll go visit Hatter's Mansion.)

This is the Hatter's territory where the storm was the second to arrive. It’s been a while since I visited right after it hit.

Alice (I wonder if Blood is still in that lethargic state that’s more pronounced than usual? I hardly see him in such a state, and it’s interesting… I mean, it’s concerning.)

A few hours have passed since the storm arrived, and I’m curious about how he’s spending his time. There’s a chance I might be turned away, but I’ll go ahead and visit anyway.

Scene Change - Hatter Mansion - Blood's Room

Blood was, as expected, lounging in his room. He was sitting at his desk, but there was no sign that he was actually working.

He was sitting up straight, but it felt more like just for show. There was no vitality visible on his face.

Alice (Well, he usually doesn’t have much spirit to begin with…)

The lethargy hanging in the air was definitely more pronounced than usual. His mood didn’t seem good either.

Alice (Still… It seems there are surprisingly few people whose appearance visibly changes that much.)

It appeared that there was no obvious change in Blood. His appearance was as usual.

However, he looked quite lethargic. This had been the case even before the storm arrived…

Alice (I guess it might have been better not to come. Is his mood bad…?)

Facing him, I lightly regretted my decision. Fortunately, I wasn’t hearing any accusations about being a nuisance.

Blood “Welcome, Young Lady. I’m glad to see you, but I didn’t expect you to visit during this time.”

Blood “Especially since a storm is approaching your territory next; it’s quite calm of you… You’re a composed Young Lady.”

Alice “Thank you for the welcome. …Although it doesn’t really sound that way.”

Alice “If it was a bother, you could have just told me, you know? I could leave early.”

Blood “If it were a bother, I wouldn’t let you in. Since you went out of your way to come, I’m expecting you to make it a fun time.”

Alice (Ugh… Don’t put pressure on me like that…)

Alice “...I won’t be leaving early, but I’m not planning on staying too long either.”

Blood “Hmm… I believe the wind blew at the amusement park a few hours ago; did you notice?”

Blood “It's certain that the storm is approaching the amusement park as well. Soon, the entire nation will be engulfed by the storm… and I, because of it, have become even more gloomy.”

Alice “I know about the wind. It’s a sign of the approaching storm, isn’t it?”

As I was prompted to sit on the sofa, I asked while sitting down. Blood nodded, but he also showed a slightly surprised expression.

Blood “Oh, so you know about it. I thought you might have been outside completely unaware since you decided to visit at a time like this.”

Alice “Did you think I was just hanging around outside the whole time? Believe it or not, I’m quite busy despite how it may look!”

Blood “You intentionally chose to visit a mafia mansion while being quite busy? Hmm… you must really like me, don’t you?”

The lethargic expression on his face softened just a bit. It seems this sarcastic way of speaking is still intact.

Alice “At the amusement park, we have a special event on stage and a banquet just before the storm hits. I have practices and preparations for those, but I’ve been told to take a break since I've been moving around so much.”

I decided to gloss over his comment about me liking him and calmly continued my explanation.

Alice “But even when I have free time, I can’t seem to calm down, so I thought I’d distract myself somewhere. That’s why I came here.”

Blood “I see, so you chose me after all. Should I be thanking you, Young Lady?”

Alice “You don’t have to say anything. I’m not confident that I can provide you with engaging stories anyway…”

Alice “...If anything, I came here to enjoy myself a bit.”

With the latter part, I showed a mischievous grin, curling the corners of my lips. Blood raised an eyebrow slightly, as if wondering what I meant.

Alice “I came to observe the lazy mafia boss who’s become pitifully listless. I was curious about how you’ve been faring since the storm arrived.”

Alice “Thanks to the storm, you can see something wonderful at night. Aren’t you excited about it?”

Blood “Why would that be exciting? At first, I thought it would be night all the time, but it wasn’t.”

Blood “If it’s not going to be night forever, then that shooting star shower is nothing but a nuisance to me. I prefer quiet and subtle nights… I have no use for bright nights.”

Saying that, he let out a deep sigh. How wasteful not to enjoy something as magnificent as a meteor shower.

Alice “Don’t say things like that. Compared to other territories, it’s a wonderful phenomenon, isn’t it?”

Alice “It’s probably something special just for now; you should appreciate the stars.”

Blood “Ha, you’re being overly optimistic and in bad taste… …Young Lady, aren’t you starting to resemble your lover?”

Alice “Eh!?”

The lover he refers to is, of course, Gowland. Blood has known about our relationship for quite some time.

At an event, Blood once invited Gowland to a tea party. I was present at that time, and he teased me after figuring it out.

Alice (Come to think of it, Gowland got really jealous back then…)

Because I told Blood that he looks just like my ex-lover, it made things even more complicated. Now it’s just a bad memory, not a good one…

While I like Gowland, being told that I resemble him puts me in a strange mood.

Especially coming from Blood. Before thinking of it in a good way, bad thoughts come to mind.

Things like I’ve become carefree or that I've gotten boisterous… …That’s how Blood likely evaluates Gowland.

Alice “Stop it. I’m not starting to resemble him!”

Blood “No, no, you really are resembling him. It’s good to see you being lively without any waste.”

Alice (Ugh… even if you’re feeling weak, you’re still like this. …Such a man who doesn’t forget to strike back.)

Even though he looked lethargic to the highest degree, Blood was, after all, still Blood.

2. Clock Tower

Alice (I think I’ll go to the clock tower.)

It has just recently experienced a storm. I’ve met Julius at that time, but I wonder how he is now.

Alice (I wonder if he’s still immersed in his work? He doesn’t seem like he wants to go outside; is he not even concerned about his own changes?)

Alice (…No, he probably is concerned more than I expect. He might not be brooding alone…)

Even if I had been a inhabitant of this world from the beginning, I would still prefer having someone by my side.

Being alone and not worrying about the situation where something seems off about oneself, while that sounds rational… it likely wouldn’t be easy in reality.

Alice (I might be seen as a bother for coming again… But I think I’ll go see him one more time.)

In fact, it seems Julius doesn’t want anyone to see how he has changed. If I’m going to check up on him, now is the best time.

Scene Change - Clock Tower - Julius's Room

Julius “Back again? You just came here a little while ago, why do you keep coming here?”

I visited Julius's workspace. As expected, he was going about his usual routine without any change.

He was seated at his workbench, wearing glasses, carefully repairing a multitude of broken clocks.

Even though his appearance had changed, his dedication to work remained the same.

He seemed more exasperated than surprised at my arrival. Even so, I expected him to be direct, but his first words were excessively curt.

Alice “You don’t have to say it like that. I came all this way to see you.”

Alice “I barely got to thank you for your help back then…”

Julius “Who asked you to come? I don’t need your thanks. Rather, it’s more of a nuisance if anything.”

Julius “I heard the wind blew a few hours ago. You must have been told by those staying at your place; that wind is…”

Alice “Oh, yes, they taught me well. It’s a precursor to the storm; it’s a windy omen, isn’t it?”

Alice “The storm will arrive in a few hours, right? I can’t tell, but everyone at the amusement park is saying the presence has gotten really strong.”

Julius “Well, it seems you’ve been listening, huh? So you knew and yet you were still wandering around… truly, it’s beyond eccentricism.”

He said with his usual unreserved tone as he placed his tools back on the workbench.

The fact that he paused his work might mean he isn’t as bothered as he claims. If I don’t fall for his words, he’s actually quite easy to read.

Alice “Why is it such a problem that I’m out and about now? Is it because of that tornado after all?”

As I tilted my head to ask, Julius furrowed his brows again.

Julius “Yes, there are disturbances not just here, but in other territories as well. The likelihood of getting caught up in trouble is far too high.”

He sounded as if he was scolding a daughter for what would happen if that occurred.

Alice (Or rather, he’s acting just like that… …Even though I’m not his daughter.)

Alice “Oh, so Julius was actually worrying about me.”

Alice “I’m fine with tornadoes; I’ve learned that they won’t come close unless they’re provoked. The other territories are relatively peaceful compared to here, so there’s no need for concern.”

I approached the workbench with light steps. Julius looked increasingly displeased as I drew near.

Julius “Worry? Who said anything about that!? I’m saying your actions are reckless!”

Alice “I can hear you without you needing to raise your voice. …My apologies for being reckless.”

Alice “But I wanted to meet you one more time since I had some time free. You’re here alone, so I was worried.”

Julius “...!”

His stern expression transformed into one of indescribable surprise as he let out a breath. It was clear he was embarrassed.

He usually tries to mask his expressions, so this was rare. In the end, he wasn’t hiding it well, but right now, he wasn’t making an effort to conceal it at all.

Julius “Seriously, you always… Don’t say you were worried about me; it makes me blush.”

Julius “I can’t say I’m worried, but I do care about you. That’s precisely why you don’t need to force yourself to come out.”

Alice “Eh? Really…?”

I opened my mouth in shock. I felt like I heard words from Julius that I didn’t expect.

Alice (“You’re making me blush”? “I care about you”?)

I know he’s shy and that he actually cares about me. I know that, but… he’s not the type to say it outright.

Alice (What’s gotten into him? He seems unusually honest for Julius.)

He looked quite different with just a change in hairstyle. He appeared even less like himself than before.

Alice (Maybe he’s being straightforward because I’ve come to see him twice. Is he getting fed up with my roundaboutness?)

Alice “…”

Alice “I’ll come back again after the storm passes. Uh… I’m not sure how to put this…”

I genuinely hope he gets through the storm safely. How should I say it?

Alice (I can’t find the right words…)

Alice “...Good luck? No, maybe it’s more like wishing you luck…?”

Julius “You don’t need to pray for anything. If you’re thinking of me, you should just go home quickly…”

This was also a very honest statement, clear from his heart.

Alice (…??? Could it be that he’s changing on the inside?)

Choices Converge

Scene - Amusement Park - Main Area

As the time changed while I was out, I hurried back to the amusement park.

The sky was a pale crimson of sunset. While it evokes a sense of melancholy, that’s not the case at the amusement park.

Woman “Hey, did you see that sign? They’re having a special event at the central stage just before the storm hits the amusement park!”

Woman “Yeah, I saw it! It sounds fun! Just before the storm, which means it’s starting soon, right?”

Woman “Let’s stay here! Staying at home during the storm wouldn’t be as exciting; it’s better to celebrate here!”

Man “Oooh, I can feel the energy in the air already! Come on, hurry!”

Man “You’re way too hyped up. You’ve already had quite a bit to drink… I won’t be surprised if you pass out before the storm comes!”

Man “I won’t pass out! I can still drink more!”

Alice (…Things are getting more and more lively.)

It seems people anticipating the storm are steadily gathering. For the residents of other territories that have already encountered the storm, their visit to the amusement park is something extraordinary.

For the residents, this place is recognized as one to welcome the storm and celebrate with everyone.

Alice (…………)

Suddenly, I recalled the dream I had when I slept before. That strange talking eggs, which for some reason have been appearing in my dreams more than Nightmare lately.

They were clamoring atop some castle gate, looking absolutely thrilled about the approaching storm.

Alice (The storm is coming, but they were making a fuss that the precursor has sounded, meaning it will be here soon. I wonder if that truly reflects what’s in my heart?)

However, I can’t frolic as innocently as the eggs. It felt like too much of a stretch to do so.

Alice (A few more time changes have occurred since the precursor. It must really be coming soon now.)

Our musical is nearing the latter part in the performance order. The main event will likely happen after the storm arrives.

…In various senses, there’s more tension than anticipation.

Alice (My first storm…!)

Though it’s my first time now, if I’m going to be here for a while, it’s something I will inevitably experience.

Alice (There’s a possibility of some outrageous abnormal phenomenon occurring. Will I really be able to have fun?)

Alice (…Well, there’s no point in thinking about that right now. I have to head to the stage quickly.)

There should be still plenty of things to do, like helping with the setup. I hurried through the bustling crowd toward the central stage.

Scene Change - Amusement Park - Stage

Employee “Ah, ah, testing, testing! …Hmm, no good, it’s howling!”

Employee “Which speaker is causing it? Could you move that one on the end a bit?”

Employee “Got it!”

Employee “Shouldn't we also shift the position of the speaker next to it a little? Move it a bit to the right!”

Employee “Okay, I’ll try that!”

On stage, the decorations and basic equipment were all set up. It seemed they were now entering final adjustments.

Alice (I guess all that’s left is to tidy up backstage? I should also clean the audience area one last time.)

There are likely plenty of other chores as well. As I looked around for someone to ask for instructions, Gowland appeared from backstage.

Gowland “Hey, Alice! Thanks for your hard work!”

Alice “Gowland. You’re here too!”

I walked over and climbed up onto the stage using the stairs provided next to it.

There were employees around checking the microphone tests and speaker positions. We moved to a spot where we wouldn’t get in the way.

Perhaps it was also a test, but the stage lit up brightly. The spray art painted on the back wall stood out vividly.

Gowland “I was checking in with the banquet hall and moving around in order. Since things are going well, if all goes quickly, we should be able to start the first performance in this time frame.”

Alice “Yeah, I was surprised by how quickly things were progressing as well. I came here to work, but it seems like it’s almost the time; what should I do?”

I immediately sought his guidance. Gowland smiled, looking somewhat exasperated.

Gowland “You’re diving right in… you could still rest a bit more, you know? You just came back from outside, didn’t you?”

Alice “Eh? Yeah… I got a break after all.”

The suggestion to take a break possibly stemmed from Gowland’s intentions. The employees might have casually conveyed it.

Alice “I figured there wouldn’t be another chance until after the storm passed, so I thought I’d take advantage of now. I ventured out to another territory.”

Gowland “...Another territory?”

Gowland’s voice questioning back was unexpectedly deep, making me echo, “Eh?” The smile had faded from his face.

Alice (What? Why such a reaction?)

Alice (Did something go wrong by going to another territory?)

Gowland “Did you really go to another territory right before a storm is coming? You just went to the clock tower too… Well, being active isn’t a bad thing, but…”

Gowland “Everywhere else already has storms arriving, and the towns must be in chaos. If you’re going to go to another territory, at least let me know first.”

“Aren't you worried?” he said lightly tapping the top of my head with his fist. Even though I had returned safely, it seemed I had worried him enough that his smile had disappeared.

Alice (…It’s easy to read his thoughts.)

He makes his feelings clear, and even when he tries to hide them, he can’t. Worries, anxieties… those kinds of emotions.

Well, in a different situation or with a different person, he might easily hide them. Is it true that when someone falls in love, they become vulnerable? …He’s not hiding anything from me.

Gowland “Oh, but… you didn’t go to the Heart Castle, did you?”

He asked with an increasingly worried expression, causing me to involuntarily let out a wry smile.

Alice “I didn’t go there. If I met Peter now, I wouldn’t know what he’d say.”

Whether it would be an apology for losing or him clinging to me out of concern, or asking for another chance, I couldn’t tell.

In any case, it makes me feel uneasy since I’m rejoicing in Gowland's victory.

Gowland “No, but… you’d want to see the White Rabbit, of course. That guy is…”

His voice was mumbled, so I couldn't quite catch the crucial part.

Alice “Eh…?”

More than the content, I was troubled by his demeanor. He’s supposed to be easy to read, yet I couldn’t grasp his thoughts… he seemed lonely.

Alice (It feels like… saying goodbye to someone.)

Diana, back at my family home, used to have that look sometimes. Though it might not be appropriate to compare it to a lover, it fits perfectly now.

Alice (…???)

Gowland “Um… Considering it’s him, I was bracing myself for him to challenge me again, even at this last minute.”

Gowland “The presence of the storm is nearing by the minute. The fact that he hasn’t said anything at this point means that it’s probably okay going forward.”

I hadn’t realized Gowland had such concerns. I felt genuinely sorry for causing him to worry.

Even while he was concerned about Peter, he had taken steps to ensure I could rest. Even the whisper from earlier faded away.

There’s also the matter of the musical. As the owner and lord, he must have a myriad of thoughts running through his mind.

Alice “I’m sorry for dragging you around because of me.”

I feel loved, even to the extent that I could say I’m spoiled and cherished.

Gowland “Oh, so you’re aware that you’re dragging me around? That’s nice to hear.”

Gowland said playfully as he laughed heartily.

Now that I understand it’s intentional, it became clear what he was thinking. My sincere apology had been conveyed.

Alice (But there’s no point in getting serious right before this festival…)

Thinking I understood his intentions, I deliberately replied with a pout.

Alice “About wandering around without saying anything and the matter of Peter. But I’ve been sufficiently swept up by you as well.”

Even the musical, which started on his wishes, is a testament to that.

Gowland “Am I the one dragging you around? I don’t really feel like I’m doing that much at all.”

Alice “That’s not true. You’re definitely dragging me around.”

Even if I don’t reveal it, there are many moments when his casual actions make my heart race.

When I wanted him to jump bungee with me, I pouted like a child. But now, he’s showing me a caring, adult-like kindness that feels embracing.

Alice (He’s a grown-up, but also a child…)

Gowland “I see, if you say so, then maybe it is. So if we’re both dragging each other around, then it’s a fair trade.”

Alice “…Well, I suppose so. Let’s leave it at that…”

Employee “Excuse me, you two. Could you move out of the way, please!?”

Alice “Eek!!”

Gowland “Ah! Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to get in the way!”

A male employee was carrying an object that looked like a long table, approaching us. Another employee was holding the opposite side, and they were setting it up together.

Come to think of it, the first performance is a chorus. This is a platform often seen in school or church choirs, intended for those in the back row.

Alice “Uh, I’m sorry.”

Brought back to reality that I had forgotten, I felt embarrassed and stepped aside.

Employee “No worries! I’ll take care of this quickly!”

The employee, oblivious to (or perhaps indifferent toward) our awkward atmosphere, set up the platform and then left.

Alice “…………”

Gowland “Ah… Uh…”

We both pondered whether to restart the interrupted conversation. Eventually, Gowland relaxed his cheeks with a “Well, it’s fine” and said:

Gowland “...Let’s go. It seems the preparations here and in the banquet hall are going smoothly, so let’s do a rehearsal.”

Gowland “Just the ones who can gather. Even if we can’t go through the whole thing, we can manage by scene.”

Alice “...Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s do that.”

Alice (The storm is about to come to this amusement park as well. Soon the whole nation will be swallowed by the storm, and everyone will be tossed around…)

Gowland “The storm is almost here. I still don’t know what’s going to happen this time, but…”

Gowland “I want you to stay here. No matter how shocking things might get… even if you’re tossed around, stay here.”

Alice “...Of course. There’s no way I’m going anywhere.”

Alice “I’ve come this far. There’s no way I’ll go anywhere else while a storm is happening here.”

Whether the storm comes or not, I intend to stay right here.

End Event

[noodyl-blasstal]

Dr Google

Friends believe I've been thinking about vampires again.

---

Symptoms:  Pale Cold Sore teeth Nausea No Irregular pulse  Bloodlust Thirsty Sunburn

He wasn’t supposed to Google medical stuff anymore, Sloane and his Mums had told him off for it so many times he’d lost count, but Kravitz hated to make a fuss and surely it was easier to just check quickly. “Some guy mugged me apart from he didn’t take my wallet and he accidentally bit me a little bit… lottle bit” seemed like the kind of thing that would waste Dr Highchurch’s time. All he’d be able to do was whack some antiseptic on there and make some horrifying comments about the way he extracted the juices to make whatever poultice he decided was best. Kravitz had obviously disinfected the bite mark once he got home. Sure, he’d been passed out in the alley for a bit, but once he’d woken up he felt fine, he’d made it home in no time! It didn’t really seem ringing the police because nothing was taken and the bite wasn’t even really that bad, only a few teeth seemed to have pierced the skin.

The worst bit was the whole food situation. Kravitz was hungry, was the thing, ravenous, but when he’d tried to eat the leftovers in the fridge he’d puked them straight back up again. Obviously food poisoning was the logical choice, so he’d thrown them away and tried something basic instead. The toast tasted disgusting. He thought the butter might have turned, had a go at the biscuits in the cupboard instead. Also a nope. Everything tasted terrible, nothing stayed down. He knew it was important to stay hydrated when you had a stomach bug, of course, so he drank plenty of water. It wouldn’t stay put either. He tried medicine for settling his stomach, rebalancing his humours (well, salts and electrolytes according to the package), and painkillers. Nothing helped. So now it was five days since he’d eaten anything and he really really really wanted to, but he couldn’t. He didn’t really know what Dr Highchurch could suggest for that - he usually seemed to struggle a bit unless you could give him direction. Hence, the Googling. 

Kravitz was being sensible, of course, he knew the good symptom checkers. He wasn’t irresponsible, just needed some reliable health information which didn’t come with a side of arbour ardour. That didn’t seem unreasonable to ask. He input his symptoms and waited for the computer to ease his mind.

Iron deficiency anaemia

B12 deficiency anaemia 

Coma

One of those things was not like the others but unless this was some kind of incredibly vivid hallucination, Kravitz was good on the coma front. Anaemia though? He’d had low iron before and knew it could fuck you up. No point in bothering Dr Highchurch by asking for a blood test, he may as well just skip straight to the supplements. 

Kravitz was most of the way to the door when the dizziness and fatigue he’d seen on the symptom list kicked in. Sure, he’d been feeling a bit run down, but he was fit! He was healthy! He did his 10,000 steps and change every single day, he swam, he hiked! He should be able to walk a block over to the CVS even if he was a bit under the weather.

By the time he had willed himself onto the couch he was ready to admit defeat. Maybe he could just take a nap and then go? Or, even better, he could Door Dash it then take a nap until it was medicine time. Kravitz tapped around on his phone trying to figure the app out. It took a lot longer than it should have because everything seemed to be fuzzing round the edges - maybe he needed to book an eye test too, he was probably due one. Finally he was fairly convinced he’d put all the right details in and allowed his slow blinking eyes to stay shut.

“Honey, I’m home!” Yelled a strange voice as a man burst through the door of his apartment. Sure, Kravitz had said the door was open and to drop the bag inside in his notes, but this seemed excessive. Kravitz’s brain was full of sand and all he wanted to do was eat something, anything. The delivery man was handsome, handsome enough that Kravitz decided he’d rate him highly regardless of the breaking and entering. He smelled good too, really, really good.

Kravitz tried to struggle up into a sitting position, failed miserably, and hoped he didn’t look too pathetic. “Thank you.” It was at this point he realised he hadn’t spoken out loud since the mugging. Maybe the bite knocked his vocal chords around a bit because he sounded so croaky and raw.

“You okay there, Kemosabe?” The delivery guy focused in on Kravitz and his beautiful brow crinkled. “You look like shit.”

“Low iron.” Croaked Kravitz. Taako’s cologne was amazing, Kravitz could smell him from across the room but it wasn’t cloying and overpowering. There was a hint of sweetness to it, something Kravitz couldn’t place. 

“Uh huh. That is a thing that could be happening, sure.” 

“Or it could be B12, and a stomach bug.” 

“Look, I can’t leave you here without checking you’re okay my guy. If I deliver this, fuck off, and then you beef it it’s Taako who’s gonna end up getting arrested for it and that’s a big ol’ no thanks from me.”

“What Taco?” 

“Me, Goofus. Now, let me see.” 

“Like the food? I’m okay, thank you. I think just taking some of the iron tablets will help. Maybe the B12 too just in case. That should mean I can keep water down.” His throat’s feeling a bit better at least, less haggard for some practice at speaking. Maybe he needs to start talking to himself out loud, or, probably more sanely, ringing his Mums and Sloane.

“No not like the food, like the me. Tee ay ay kay oh. Now, shut up and let me make sure you’re not gonna die.”

Taako was so close now, Kravitz could reach out and touch him, Kravitz really wanted to reach out and touch him… and maybe grab him, kiss him, bite his… “Ow! Fuck!” Kravitz winced in pain. His lip throbbed, how the fuck did he manage to bite himself without moving his mouth?

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, you’ve got a bad case of the vampires, my guy.”

[angryschnauzer]

I know a lot of people are awaiting an update on As Sweet As Honey, and numerous other stories i’ve said i will continue, but writing at the moment just isn’t happening for me.

Firstly i’ve been told i now have Long Covid. After the NHS telling me i 100% did not have in any way shape or form actual Covid back in January, they’ve since run tests and looked at the ongoing symptoms and side affects i’m still experiencing and have said that ‘maybe it was covid as you’ve now got all the symptoms of Long Covid’... Don’t get me started on their ineptitude of this, but the condition is long the lines of Chronic Fatigue syndrome or M.E, with a side of pneumonia.  Just living my day to day life is exhausting, and any down time i do have i’m asleep.

Unfortunately other aspects of life are also filling my time, firstly my Father In Law has been diagnosed with Dementia (most likely Alzheimer's) but my husband is an only child which means we are having to make the trip from London to Wales about every three weeks at the moment. Its a huge emotional drain on my husband and so i’m picking up a lot of duties we usually share (housework, childcare) and doing them solo so that he isn’t overwhelmed by what is a very rapid decline in his father’s condition. His mum is still living with his Dad in their old family home, but its likely we’ll have to arrange some residential care for FIL soon rather than just visiting carers and nurses.

To add to our stress, our next door neighbours who have been a thorn in our side for the last 13 months are back to their old behaviour; heavy drug use, fighting in the street, and just generally being a pain in the ass. None of our complaints to the owner of the property ever got dealt with properly, so this time we are having to raise a webchat with the police to get a report number, then complain in writing to the rental agency. The continued drug use has had a huge impact on my business as i can no longer have clients come to the house and visit my workshop for Wedding Decoration consultations as i could never guarantee they wouldn’t have to walk through a cloud of pot smoke or worry that their decorations would get to them stinking of it either. I had one client turn up last year as the neighbours were having a full on domestic abuse fight on the driveway we share with them, and understandably even though i explained what was happening, i lost those clients and a £500 job. Come the summer months the smoke means we have to have our windows shut and thus the temperature in our house rises, which in turn affects my 8 year olds Type 1 Diabetes as hot weather increases the rate that insulin is absorbed which means he needs to take more insulin.  I want to make it clear that i fully understand a lot of people use cannabis for medical use, and if people want to use it in their own homes to the point it doesn’t affect other people, go for it. BUT the stuff next door are smoking is not only incredibly potent, its laced with something else. To the point one day last summer i was having a nap on the sofa with the windows open in the middle of the day, and was woken up by smoke pouring in our windows from next door. I’d obviously inhaled some of it, and whatever was with it was making me hallucinate to the point i had to get another parent drive my son home from school as i couldn’t even stand let alone drive... and that’s from passive inhalation. So now whenever we even get the first whiff of drugs from them all our windows are closed. The only plus side is that the two teenagers that may or may not be siblings but are fucking haven’t been seen for weeks. I have no idea where they’ve gone but i also don’t care.

So yeah. That’s what’s keeping me from writing or even stringing a paragraph together. Fun times. Not.

[lebuc]

Breakfast of Champions, Pt. 2

* Damn storm. F'd up the neighborhood & my sleep last night...

And, now having to babysit my girl’s niece Lily while she goes shopping for her friend's baby shower instead of chilling in bed with me this late morning.  Life's sense of humor at its finest, i thought, ending the call with Maya.

Those Cheerios tasted like cardboard & the whisky did nothing for my feeling of dread. Breakfast of Champions, right?  Only today, it's all falling flat.

--

After Maya left, I trudged into the living room, where Lily was playing with her doll,  She looked up at me, all innocence and glee, so I mustered a smile.

"Hey, Lily. What do you want to do today?" I asked, cynicism in check, hopefully.

Her eyes lit up. "Uncle Thrall, let's play dress-up! I have a princess costume!"

Great - I get to be a pretend prince with a makeshift prince's costume to match, fumbling through my work shirts, spiraling toward a new life's low.

But I played along. We twirled, danced, frolicked in a world of make-believe, pretending everything was hunky-dory; my energy draining with every forced smile.

Hours passed, and exhaustion began to gnaw at me like a hungry rat. The tea party, make-believe adventures, and the godforsaken puppet show sapped nigh every ounce of vigor from these ol' bones.

Collapsing onto the couch, letting out a hopefully not too exasperated sigh, Lily sensed my mood and climbed onto the couch beside me, her little voice filled with empathy.

"Uncle Thrall, you look tired. Want to take a nap?" Ok, kid. A nap sounded like a goddamn dream right now. We dozed off on the couch, she & I.

For one fleeting moment, my grey clouds melted away, if only for a little while.

Life had thrown me a babysitting fastball - low and outside & i crushed it over the right field wall, tho' fatigued.  I knew one lady friend who'd be waiting in the dugout with champagne to pop corks over, later tho’.

So Maya returned, finding us asleep like some ambered family portrait.

Waking up gently, expressing her gratitude, i saw Lily rubbing her eyes, stretching with the innocence of a child. I couldn't help but crack a wan smile.

Life is not duplicative.

It's usually just a feckless S.O.B messing with your plans.

But sometimes, just sometimes, it throws you a curveball - strike that - a fastball, like i said, that you can handle. In such moments, even jaded fans can find glimpses of something approaching beauty.

Continuing my search for that elusive P.O.G. at rainbow's end, I'll look back on this day. Pretending with Lily gave me a bittersweet respite.

It doesn't make the struggle any easier, but reminds me that - along with a good nap - amidst all the folderol, there's still a sliver of something worth holding onto that doesn't include alcohol. ( poetic? well...) * 6/23 - lebuc -  Breakfast of Champions, Pt. 2 * Part one: https://lebuc.tumblr.com/post/716981799422656512/breakfast-of-champions-pt-1-life-is-not

[thessalian]

Thess vs the Absolute Fucking CHEEK OF SOME PEOPLE

It hasn’t been a very good couple of days. Yesterday, I was hit with the Fibro Fatigue Stick and ended up napping hard for a couple of hours in the mid-evening, which screwed up my sleep patterns so I couldn’t sleep last night. None of this is any good for pain flares or migraine, so I ended up with both today. But mostly, honestly? It’s the absolute fucking cheek of people the last couple of days. Mostly work colleagues. I mean, it’s always work colleagues.

Temp still has that deal where Violet does the long dictations so Temp doesn’t have to. Thing is, apparently she still thinks that applies even when Violet isn’t around to do the long ones. So guess who still fucking gets them? Milady took a couple today, which given the state of me today was a godsend, but still.

Temp also appears to think that “the long ones” is “anything 2 minutes long or more”. Yet Violet and Milady don’t consider it a “long one” unless it’s over 4 minutes. So Temp gets all the really short, really easy ones, and leaves me with the ones that aren’t precisely long, but are long enough to get complicated. I swear if I look at one more placenta report this week...

Goblin’s still doing the thing where she takes stuff into her queue, doesn’t get around to some of them (and it’s always the long and/or complicated ones she ‘doesn’t get around to’), and then dumps them back into the queue when she leaves at 4pm. Which throws off the chronological order entirely until I wind up having to grab them because gods know Temp won’t. Thankfully we’re at least caught up to a point where those aren’t leftovers from yesterday’s dictations, but it’s still irritating and I dislike being left with her cast-offs because I know her and I know she left those because she spent work time on gossip and basically just narking at everything.

On top of all of this, my land line rings when I’m about a half-hour from the end of my workday. I pick up, and it’s this dude saying he’s calling about “my payment card”. I ask him to give me the name he has for me in his records. Usually this gets people to understand that no, I am not a complete pushover and I know what a scam call sounds like, and they generally hang up. This one goes, “No, we don’t have your name, but we’re calling on behalf of--” then named some company I’d never heard of. So I just said, “If you don’t have my name, you can’t possibly know that it’s my account, and you cannot have my phone number without my name. Have a nice day.” (That last with the energy of 'go fuck yourself’.)

I hurt. I am exhausted, but not sleepy-exhausted. I am basically fed up with everything and am clinging to silver linings as much as possible. Mostly because I neither have the energy nor physical mobility to go punch the people that deserve it.

[jodilin65]

So Tom thinks you should be able to move to another country. This is when I asked him what he thought of the immigration situation which I do not support. He has a point but I think there should be limits. Too much is simply too much. We only have so many jobs, doctors, and housing here.

Slept horribly again. Strange sounds woke me up that Tom said he didn’t hear, then I had to get up and pee, and then I couldn’t breathe out of my nose because part of my nose strip came off. Tom swore he didn’t hear any loud bangs and he checked the camera for the time I thought I heard a loud engine of some kind and didn’t see anything. He told me the other day when he was napping that he could have sworn he heard someone knocking on the door, got up and checked, but no one was there. Then he checked the camera to see if he missed anyone and he didn’t. So I guess that sometimes these things are in our dreams. I swear whatever is up there is hell-bent on doing whatever it can to fuck with my sleep!

Well, I can’t fight back against the imagined sounds, the occasional nightmares, or the screaming bladder, but I’m now pretty sure that my nose - which is getting stuffier by the minute - is because of the losartan. It makes no sense that after being here for over two years, I would develop allergies like this or that it would be from the rat even though she’s close to the bedrooms when we had two to four rats in the other place and I didn’t have this problem. The only animals I’m allergic to are cats and they affect my lungs, not my nose. So I think the losartan is responsible for the stuffiness and the snoring as well, which also started around the same time.

It’s not dangerous to stop BP meds for a while and couldn’t cause the problems that stopping my thyroid meds would cause so I’m going to hopefully have an answer within a few days to a week, according to my research. I might have to try something else or not take anything and really watch my sodium intake and hope I don’t get kidney damage from the high blood pressure if I’m not able to get the weight off, or if I am and it doesn’t help. Not everyone with high blood pressure gets kidney damage, though, just like not everyone with high cholesterol has a heart attack, and not all fat people become diabetic. There’s just an increased risk, but not a guarantee.

I still expect to have some fatigue because my thyroid still isn’t perfect and I’m still older but I’m pretty sure I never had sleep apnea. Dozed for an hour earlier which helped a bit but I’m still quite exhausted. I’m very grateful for speech-to-text because sitting up typing all this would be a bit of a drag on those really tired days.

Sleep was horrible, as I said. I had to have woken up at least half a dozen times and one of the times it was hard to get back to sleep. First I thought I heard or at least felt a couple of thumps, then a loud engine, then I had to pee, then it was my nose, and then I had an awful dream about getting ready to move back to my home state with my parents. I didn’t know Tom in the dream. I’m not sure where my parents and I were living but we weren’t living together at the time. They were in the process of looking for a place up north for the three of us and I made them a tearful video trying to explain my sleep disorder to them, knowing they wouldn’t get it.

As for the diet, I was horribly hungry and tired yesterday, so I’m going to take today off as Tom suggested and then rethink how I’m going to approach it from there. I can definitely say that 1200 calories is too low for me in this day and age. It takes more calories for me to feel good than when I was younger. So if I feel comfortable with 1600 calories a day as I usually do, that’s probably what my body needs. Besides, I’m not that big so there’s no point in being obsessed over my weight other than in Andy’s imagination, lol. The question is what direction do I want to go? Do I want to add 100 calories at a time until I feel better but might still be able to lose weight, or start at something like 1500 a day and deduct 100 calories at a time till I’m not feeling as good and adjust from there?

It might rain today. This is definitely the wettest winter since we’ve been here. Seems a bit colder too but if there’s any good in it it’s that it’s keeping the honker off his motorcycle more often.

I was in the bathroom in the evening when I heard those dogs going off and I swear they sounded like they were in the field behind the house. Then the barking quickly faded away as if they ran around the corner of a building which makes me think even more that they’re behind us and not coming from that subdivision. Because sounds travel easier in cooler weather they were almost to the point of being annoying.

[annieintheaair]

Fake friends on weekends killing me slowly, getting back the time and love that I owed me. Finally getting good at letting go, mastering the art of how to be alone.

This has been quite the week. Once the work trips fall apart, they all seem to fall apart.

Wednesday ended up being "A Day" at my favorite bakery so I left a little earlier than usual to take a detour to get my free pie. It was worth it, even though I didn't realize I had a fork and literally had to fold the pie like a taco to eat it.

I made it to yoga, which was nice. My friends there were trying to be helpful by offering suggestions on places to move. I told them that I was supposed to be moving into an apartment next week but decided not to take it. I feel at peace with that decision.

After yoga, I rushed over to Students. It's sad to think that the school year is winding down and we only have a few weeks left. We're planning on having a summer itinerary though so that we can get together often.

That night at work ended up being a long one. We were supposed to go to San Antonio and boarded the flight, taxied out, and then had to go back to the gate due to the weather en route to San Antonio. Once we were back at the gate, the pilots called out fatigued since the fight got delayed until 5am. All of the routes to SAT were closed. We tried to call out fatigued, too, but they threatened us with zero pay and missed trips. Instead, they sent us to the hotel for a couple of hours. We had to Uber there and back and of course, they set it up that the Uber dropped us off at the training center and not the hotel so it was a long walk. By the time I got to my room, I had less than two hours to nap before getting back up at 3:40am to get ready, head back to the airport, and work the SAT turn. We got back late on Thursday, which was also pretty crappy.

Thursday night I wanted to call out from work but went since I was flying with friends. Everything went relatively smoothly and I made it to yoga on Friday afternoon. It was just what I needed.

Friday night turned out somewhat okay and Saturday morning I napped for a very short time before pulling myself off of my couch to go to slow flow yoga. I left there dripping in sweat and so exhausted but thought I'd try to go to Central Market and Trader Joe's but neither was a success since the crowds all came out and the parking was limited. I ended up going home and hanging out until it was time to go back to work.

I thought for sure we were going to cancel last night because they reassigned our pilots and had to find us new ones. The new ones were super close to going illegal so I wasn't sure that we would get out on time given the storms and the ramp being closed. We made it to Oklahoma City anyway, though it was later than planned, which also meant less sleep.

I can't tell you have relieved I was to get home this morning and know that I'm off for the night. I had every intention of going to church in Fort Worth but I was too tired to get up from my nap until the afternoon when I decided to run a few errands in town.

It's weird that it's Cinco de Mayo and I'm completely sober. I remember so many Cinco de Mayos before wanting to get a margarita all day. Back in 2015, I was a new hire flight attendant on reserve, calling scheduling every hour to ask if they'd release me so I could go to the Mexican restaurant next to my apartment to get a margarita. Even though this year is very different, I still might grab a margarita after yoga tonight.

This month marks one year since I moved across the metroplex. It honestly feels like it has been the longest year. It has been filled with a lot of good but also a lot of bad.

I remember going to my first yoga classes in Fort Worth and being that new person who knew no one and for the first few months, the instructors didn’t even know my name. I felt like I just couldn’t find my groove or fit in anywhere. I didn’t feel at home at all.

For most of last summer, I spent Tuesday through Thursday back in my old town, mainly so I could go to my yoga classes. I’d drop my dogs off at their sitter on Tuesdays and then live like a homeless person until Thursday afternoon. I’d go to yoga at noon on Tuesday, spend my afternoon running errands, going to appointments, and working from coffee shops. I’d fly on Tuesday nights and then make my way back there Wednesday for another yoga class and eventually Students in the evenings when school was back in session. I’d fly Wednesday nights, too, and then Thursday I’d go to one last class before picking up my dogs and heading home.

It was really rough living that life and now I can’t even imagine how I ever did that because lately I come home from work and crash on my couch for a good chunk of the day between trips. I’m working more than I’ve worked in years and it is really draining me. A friend sent me a meme a few years ago, back when I worked a lot, and it said something like, “My mom said I need to find a rich man. I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man!’” Life would definitely be better and easier if we finally got our new contract, a raise, and some retro pay, but whether we do or we don’t, my goal is to try to earn 6 figures this year and if I keep flying as much as I am right now, that very well might be possible.

I’m learning to make the best out of every situation and appreciate the things I have. I think that a lot of times, we don’t realize what we have until it’s too late. I’m learning to work with what I have to reach my goals even if other things in my life don’t improve.

It has been almost 2 years since I lost Dan and rereading some of his texts now makes me realize all the things I wish I had now, are all the things I had when he was alive. I wanted someone to fight for me and believe in fixing things instead of walking away. I wanted someone to feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to them. Shortly after he passed away, I made a little video since there was a text message trend going on. I'll share it here:

Reading over Dan's old texts made me realize that at one point, we switched roles. Dan went from being the avoidant to being the anxious one. In our relationship, long before all of these texts, and in my relationships since, Dan sounded like me. All the things he said to me are things I've said to guys I've had in my life since. He never wanted to let me go a day without knowing how he felt about me, and it means so much to me to look back on all of that now and know that at one point in my life, there was a guy who thought the world of me and loved me despite my flaws.

These last few months have allowed me a lot of time to shift my focus. I've been working more, making more money, prioritizing my health/fitness, trying to make new friends and maintain friendships with old ones, spending time with family, and really learning more about myself and what I want in my life. I've also had the opportunity to spend more time with God, reading my devotionals and praying for guidance.

When we drove home from Oklahoma a few weekends ago, my friend Nancy made me realize that it's ok to take a pause and enjoy being single and not dating right now. I'm getting the opportunity to self-reflect and realign my priorities. It's ok to put yourself first and do what makes you happy. I'm ok right now pausing dating and pausing my move to be able to work on other more important things. With God, anything is possible and sometimes, you just need to let go and let God.

xoxo

Annie

[devildomdisaster]

I’d like to request a body switching scenario with [Satan, Asmo, Beelz, Solomon, Simeon] and an Gender Neutral MC with undisclosed chronic health issues. Like brittle bones that break if you step a little goofy, stress ulcers, sensitivity to light, joint pain, poor stamina, etc. I just want to see the boys go “You live like this?!”

Satan:

Satan has a habit of collecting rare magical objects. Somehow quite a few of these cause body-switching incidents.

The cursed object causes the two of you to lose consciousness for a few minutes. When he wakes up he is in immediate pain.

His first thought is that the spell must have caused this and you must be in pain too! If he, a demon, is in this much pain it must be excruciating for a human.

He rushes to you or tries to. But falls to his knees in shock as a shooting pain runs through him.

He blinks watering eyes and sees his body stirring on the floor and realizes you’ve switched bodies.

You sit up feeling better than you’ve felt in years. Wondering if this is ‘normal’ or if that cursed object gave you super healing.

It’s only when you hear your own voice calling your name that you realize you and Satan have switched bodies.

You can see the tears in his(your body's) eyes and know exactly what's happening. You’ve had chronic pain for years. And Satan is sitting in just the right way to send shooting pain up your spine.

“Lay down on your back,” you order him. He has just enough control to follow your order and lower your body down slowly.

You can see Satan’s relief on your face as the pain eases slightly. It takes a moment for the worst of the pain to subside and his breath to even out.

He’s staring at the ceiling when he speaks, voice still a little shaky, “You live like this?”

You hum out a yes.

“All- all the time?” he asks, horrified.

“Sometimes it's worse than others. If I move or sit in certain ways it gets real bad. But if I avoid those movements it’s bearable.”

Satan turns to you “This is what you call bearable?!”

You shrug, “That position is usually pretty safe. So yeah probably.”

He is careful to move your body a little as possible as he shifts to point at a spellbook. “That book-”

“Are you going to change us back?” you ask.

“I-” he hesitates. Clearly not wanting you to be in pain again.

“Look, Satan it’s not that I don’t enjoy being pain-free. But I’ve dealt with it for years now. I’ve learned how to function around it. I had to. You on the other hand are going to be laying on the floor for most of the day if you stay in my body.”

“I’m going to find a way to fix you.” He says firmly as you place the book in his hands.

“Promises, promise,” you sing, preparing yourself to experience the pain in your body again.

“I mean it. As soon as I can move again I am going to find a way to help you. Devildom magic has to be better than human medicine.”

Asmo:

Asmo bought you matching bracelets. “Look Mc, I bought us these bracelets! They are supposed to bring us closer together!”

Well, they did bring you closer together. Just not in the way Asmo intended.

When he clasped the bracelets on, you felt a shiver go down your spine and when you opened your eyes you felt...different. Better. There was no aching pain. For once the dazzling lights of Asmo’s room didn’t cause you to wince. That's when you realize you’ve switched bodies.

Asmo on the other hand immediately cringed and squeezed his eyes closed, clutching his(your) head.

Asmo groaned pitifully, teary eyes squinting at you “Mc, how do you do anything like this??”

He curls up beneath his covers, and you make your way around his room turning off all the lights and closing his curtains. Once the light is gone, Asmo peers out from beneath the covers, “Do you live like this all the time?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“No wonder your room is so dark. I thought you were just being dramatic.”

You shrug at him, “The Devildom is better than the human realm. There’s no bright sunlight here.”

Once the spell wears off, Asmo keeps the bracelet on both as a reminder of how you live with this chronic illness and as the intended purpose of showing how close the two of you are.

He buys you super dark glasses to try and filter out some of the bright light that bothers you.

and asks Solomon to help him find any magical treatments that might help you.

Beel:

Beel and you switch bodies after eating some of Solomon’s cooking.

Neither of you wants to eat Solomon’s cooking, but you had the misfortune to be the only two people who couldn’t find an excuse to get out of it.

Beel doesn’t know how it happened, Solomon doesn’t know how it happened, you sure as hell don’t know how this happened. But here you are with a strange magic ‘cake’ in hand, looking at your body from Beel’s eyes.

Your first thought is how strong you feel in Beel’s body. Like you could do anything. The exhaustion and joint pain you normally deal with is gone.

Is this how normal people live? Although you suppose a demon doesn’t count as a normal human, so it’s not such a good comparison.

You watch as Beel catches himself on the counter as he adjusts to the symptoms of your illness.

He lowers your body to the ground. Sitting gingerly as the movement causes the joint pain to flare.

“Mc, is this how you feel every day?” He is so so concerned about you! How do you function if you feel like this all the time? “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”

“It’s ok, Beel. I’ve figured out how to deal with it.”

“It is not ok. Mc, we could have helped you!”

It’s strange to be lectured by your own voice and body. But Beel does a good job of it. He insists that you have to tell him when your symptoms act up and convinces you to let him speak with Lucifer about trying some magical treatments.

The potion doesn’t wear off for several hours. You feel a tad bit guilty about enjoying this when Beel is so obviously suffering, but you can’t remember the last time you felt so good. So capable.

Once the spell wears off Beel insists on carrying you around so you aren't as fatigued and to avoid aggravating your joint pain.

Be prepared for trying a string of different potions and spells to treat your illness, under the watchful eyes of Beel and Lucifer.

Solomon:

After hearing about Lucifer and Satan’s body-switching incident Solomon went looking for another cursed book.

He’d heard some rumor about Satan’s book having a twin and was determined to find it.

And find it he did.

You accidentally touched the book at the same time as him and switched bodies.

Solomon is more intrigued than anything else. “Do you live like this all the time? If so, you do a remarkable job of hiding it.”

He is going to test the limits of your body’s capabilities. He wants to know what situations cause pain or discomfort so that you can’t pretend to be ok when you aren’t.

You’ll have to warn him if he is doing anything that might permanently harm your body.

Unlike some of the others, Solomon doesn’t immediately look for a way to switch back.

When the spell wears off Solomon has a near-complete understanding of your condition. He knows what causes pain, what doesn’t, and what situations you should absolutely avoid.

“Mc, you need to stop pretending you are ok when you’re not. I’ll be here to help you when you need it. And if that help happens to be stopping you from doing foolish things to save face then so be it.”

Solomon keeps a close eye on you from now on. He respects you enough to not tell anyone about your condition if you don’t want him to, but he will also come up with the strangest excuses to remove you from activities he knows will aggravate your condition.

If there is magic that can be used to help you Solomon will find it. Just be prepared to feel a little bit like a lab rat while he figures out the perfect spell or potion to help you.

Simeon:

Simeon wants to know what it feels like to be human. He thinks it would give him a greater understanding of humanity.

He mentions this to Solomon, who being the chaos loving wizard he is, makes a potion to allow Simeon to switch bodies with you.

The problem occurs when Solomon 'forgets’ to tell you both that he’s already put the potion in your tea.

Simeon is shocked. He finds himself in your body. Looking at himself through your eyes. And by god does your body hurt!

“Mc, I’m dreadfully sorry, but I think Solomon’s little joke may have gone wrong. I-everything hurts.”

You blink at Simeon...er Simeon in your body. Mind taking a moment to catch up with the sudden body switch. You feel great. Part of that might be due to being in an angel's body, but mostly it's due to the lack of pain.

“Oh, everything's fine on my end. So it must be my chronic pain. It’s worse today than others.”

“Wh-what do you do when it’s bad?”

“Usually I try to distract myself. Or try to take a nap and hope I wake up feeling better. But we’d made plans and I didn’t want to cancel so…”

“So you decided to deal with extra pain for my sake? Oh, Mc. You should have told me you live like this. I can help”

“There’s no point, Simeon. Not a single doctor I’ve been to has found anything wrong with me. I didn’t want anyone here to pity me.”

“I am an angel, Mc. I’m quite sure I can do a bit more than your human doctors.”

You help Simeon to his room where you spend the afternoon watching human world movies to help distract him.

Simeon sleeps fitfully next to you and as you drift off you wonder if that is how you always look when you let your guard down enough to show your pain.

When the potion wears off you are both asleep, curled up next to each other.

When you wake up you are back in your own body. Simeon is sitting next to you slipping a charmed bracelet onto your wrist. “This is from the Celestial realm. It should help keep your pain at a more manageable level until I can find a more permanent solution.”

[edosianorchids901]

Wanna Take a Train?

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - "late night train"

Crowley and Aziraphale had ridden on plenty of trains before the near Apocalypse. Aziraphale loved trains, acted like a kid every time he got near one, and Crowley loved seeing him excited. It was a good way to get around, and not a bad place to take a nap.

Newly free, they’d decided to take a holiday around Europe, visit some of their old haunts. “Wanna take a train?” Crowley had asked, and delighted in the way Aziraphale’s eyes lit up.

Angels and demons didn’t need to sleep, but he got a private cabin anyway. He and Aziraphale had kissed a couple times in the weeks since the world nearly ended, and a bed seemed like a good plan. Could try out snuggling, or maybe even something more intimate.

Crowley couldn’t help the mental images, the romantic scenes that popped into his head. He’d watched and read James Bond stories too often to avoid it. But unfortunately, he couldn’t stop the other thing popping into his head either—an increasingly nasty headache.

He squeezed down the narrow corridor of the train, hauling their luggage. Aziraphale practically skipped along in front of him, brimming with excitement. “Oh, Crowley! Here’s our cabin!”

Wincing at the overhead lights, Crowley slipped into the room. At least he had his sunglasses, but that wasn’t enough to dull the light sensitivity. Which meant this was probably not just a headache. It was a migraine.

“Oh, isn’t this cozy?” Aziraphale rubbed his hands together and let out a long, contented sigh as he looked around the cramped compartment. “It’s just delightful. I’m so glad you suggested this, Crowley.”

“Mm,” Crowley agreed, sinking onto the bed. He should actually stash their luggage under said bed, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it yet. Thudding pain crashed through his head, like he was being hit over and over.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale sat beside him, a warm hand settling on the back of his neck. “What’s wrong, dear fellow? Are your legs troubling you? I know we have done an awful lot of walking today.”

“Nuh, s’ not my legs for once.” They hurt, like usual, and he could ignore it. He couldn’t ignore the crashing headache, or the rising nausea, or the dizziness. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“I will worry,” Aziraphale said, almost petulant. He massaged Crowley’s neck, slow and gentle. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

There was no denying that soft, pleading voice. “Got a headache. It’s… pretty bad.”

The train lurched into motion, and Crowley groaned. So much for his fantasies of rolling around in bed together. He’d be lucky if he wasn’t puking soon.

“Well, let’s see.” Aziraphale glanced around the compartment and flicked a hand. The lights lowered dramatically, almost out, and that at least soothed the piercing pain. “How about a damp cloth on your neck? Or your forehead?”

Crowley nodded, and immediately regretted the movement. He rubbed his brow and rolled his shoulders, trying to work out the ache in his neck. “Hrgh, this is bloody ridiculous. Can’t my corporation behave for two seconds? We’re trying to take a holiday!”

Aziraphale dampened a cloth with their water bottle, dripping some on the floor, then carefully settled the cloth around the back of Crowley’s neck. “Well, we are succeeding at taking a holiday. It’s perhaps just not the most comfortable for you at the moment.”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m comfortable.” He was never comfortable, not really. Something was always wrong with his corporation, be it pain or sudden bouts of fatigue. That was another good reason to have a bed. “This is your holiday too. I don’t want you to spend it having to nursemaid me.”

At that, Aziraphale frowned and stuck his lower lip out in a dramatic pout. “Now, that’s utter nonsense. You’re my Crowley. It’s not fun to see you in pain, no, but I like being able to take care of you. If our situations were reversed…”

“Oy, stop it,” Crowley grumbled. It was a fair point, but not one he wanted to take.

“And anyway. I’m on a train with my very, very dearest friend, my beloved Crowley.” Cheeks pink, Aziraphale gave him a shy look. He took Crowley’s hand in his, held it gently. “Please don’t feel guilty about needing a bit of extra help from time to time.”

Crowley sighed. He couldn’t really argue against that, especially not when Aziraphale said it with such sincerity. They sat in silence and near-darkness for a bit, the train rolling smoothly over the tracks. Full night shadowed the world outside their compartment window, occasional lights of human habitation sparkling off in the distance.

The headache wasn’t getting much better, but Crowley’s frustration was. He managed a smile. “Thanks for understanding. S’ just that I, well… I was kinda hoping we could take advantage of our compartment.”

Aziraphale gave a little giggle, still gazing out the window into the darkness. He really did love trains, and he looked just as excited as ever. “Well, I don’t suppose we could do anything too active, but we could lie down if you don’t think it would make you queasy.”

After a moment’s contemplation, Crowley nodded. “Yeah. Think I’d like that.”

“Ah, wonderful!” Aziraphale guided him to lie down on the inadequate pillows and snuggled close beside him. There was barely room for them both on the tiny bed, but the angel’s warmth felt amazing. “I love you, you know. And there will be plenty of other train rides.”

He leaned in, a clear invitation. Crowley kissed him, just a quick peck, and then laid back with his head throbbing. “Thanks, angel. Love you too.”

There would indeed be other train rides, hopefully more successful. But despite the migraine, snuggling all night sounded pretty great.

[anaveragebibliophile]

He Comes First

Thranduil x Wife!reader x Young!Legolas 

Summary: After finding out some exciting news about your and Thranduil’s future as parents, you begin reminiscing on the all the joys and wonders that this life has given you (especially getting to see your husband excel at fatherhood). 

PART 1 

PART 2: 

https://anaveragebibliophile.tumblr.com/post/659269636241637376/cyclical-love

“Are you one-hundred percent certain, Morwen? I know you are an expert at discerning such things, but I cannot help but still feel the uncertainty reverberating through me,” you said, hands gripping your kneecaps as you awaited the healer’s response. 

“Yes, my queen. All of the signs are there: the nausea, the subsequent morning sickness, the exhaustion. I am positive that I am correct in my diagnosis.” 

“Oh, by the Valar (God),” you responded, your right hand drifting to hold your stomach protectively. “I am with child. Thranduil and I will be welcoming another elfing next fall.” 

“Yes, Queen (y/n). When the leaves begin to fall, you will be holding another blessing in your arms.” 

Walking back to your and Thran’s chambers provided ample time for rumination on this news (because the healer’s quarters were on the other side of the palace). Now, that’s not to say this contemplation was meant to curb any sentiments of regret, resentment, or anger. Not at all. In reality, you couldn’t stop a huge smile from framing your face. You couldn’t help but embrace the elation that was filling every facet of your heart, soul, and mind. Oh, this was a dream come true. 

Obviously, the topic of having another child had been discussed between you and your husband many times (usually on fireside date night with goblets of wine and lots of cuddling). And the funny thing was that the prospect had cemented itself more securely over the last few months. Having and caring for another child no longer appeared to be this unattainable desire, but, instead, it filled you and Thran with this rapture, this thrill. And why wouldn’t it really? Legolas was everything you both could have hoped for, so why not try for that relentless feeling of contentment one more time? You’d have to be asinine not to. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ada, Ada are you awake?” Legolas’ melodic voice asked, breaking through the tranquil haze you’d encompassed yourself in. 

“There is no need to fret, my little leaf. Ada is just resting his eyes. He is tired,” your husband’s deep baritone responded. 

“Of course, Ada, but that is not why I was asking. Would it be alright if I laid on your chest?” 

“You already know the answer to that, Legolas. Climb on up, iôn nîn (my son).” 

And climb on up he did, at least from what you saw through the little crack in the door. Once your little elfling’s voice alerted you to the fact that your two favorite people in all of Middle Earth were in your chambers, your immediate instinct was to rush and join in on the cuddle session that was so obviously taking place. Yet, somehow, right as you put your hand on the doorknob, it was as if your feet were tethered to the floor. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t speak. All because you turned your head. All because of what you were bearing witness to. 

Legolas was sprawled starfish-like on his father’s chest, his little face turned into the right side of Thranduil’s neck. You could see the red, depressed sleep lines marring his face from his morning nap (where he and the pillow became great comrades). And even though that was such an adorable sight, what you saw your husband doing made joy spread through your entire heart in such a way that you thought it might implode on you. 

Sometimes your little leaf struggled to fall asleep at night. Whether it be because of a nightmare or a fear of separation from his parents no one could truly say. His insomnia was variable at best and inevitable at worst. However, regardless of the circumstances, your and Thran’s mission was to get your son some relief, no matter the cost. And you tried everything you could think of: lullabies, rocking, warm milk, literally anything that the rule book on parenting tells you to attempt, but nothing would make any impact. That is, until your husband changed the game. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One night in mid-winter, Legolas’ inability to sleep had reached its peak. He hadn’t been feeling well for most of the day--spending most of it snuggled with you in the sitting room or with Thranduil in his office--and by the end of the night had been sporting a pretty nasty fever. He was miserable, plain and simple. You had hoped that the illness would’ve given him the opportunity to give in to his fatigue, to barricade himself in a dream-like state. Wrong. Instead, the infection chose to create a pain in his ear that wouldn’t abate by any means. No question, it made him absolutely hysterical. 

Despite this, though, he was most at peace with your husband, the man who spent most of that day with his lips pressed in a thin, white line and his stomach in knots. All he hoped for was his son to be improving, but it didn’t seem like Valar (God) was in the mood to grant that wish. So, he did what he was best at: finding a way to take control of the situation. In this case, the problem was Legolas’ discomfort. The little guy was trying to sleep--on his side, his back, in Thran’s arms, in whatever position his brain could conjure up--but would then proceed to hold his left ear and whimper. Anything he did would cause pain to shoot through him.  

“Alright, little leaf,” Thranduil said while rocking his son in his arms for the tenth time that day, “how about we try having you rest on my chest. You might sleep better that way.” And all he got was an almost imperceptible nod from the elfling that was clenching his hand so tight. 

Moving over to the bed, he slowly settled himself in the center, making sure not to jostle his son too much. Quietly humming to Legolas, he carefully moved his right hand up and down his spinal column and left lingering kisses on his forehead. 

“There we go, iôn nîn (my son),” he said. “Hopefully this helps. Gi melin (I love you).”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Darling, you can come in, you know. This is your space too,” your husband’s voice articulated, a hint of mockery and teasing in his tone (all in good fun). 

Opening the door all the way, you smiled at the treasures that laid before you. One curled into his father’s chest like an armadillo. The other grinning like a fool at said armadillo. 

“My apologies, sweetheart. Once I got here, I couldn’t refrain from letting you have that special one-on-one time with him.” 

Your husband’s right cheekbone lifted up to create an off-centered smile of sorts. “How was your appointment with Morwen? Was she able to give you some herbs to aid your sickness?”

“Yes, she was. But that is not the only thing she mentioned to me. About why I am ill anyway.” 

“What else is wrong? Whatever it is, it is treatable, yes?” Thranduil queried, his voice getting higher by at least three octaves. 

“Yes, honey. It is treatable. I’ll only have to wait about six more months.”

At that, your husband paused, concentration taking over his features. You felt his brain’s agony at the mere thought of analyzing the riddle and attempting to figure it out. Every mechanism was moving to decipher the answer. 

And then it all clicked. 

“If what you say is true, then that means we are….” 

TBC 

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2

Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!

Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.

When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.

Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.

You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.

Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.

Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go". 

Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.

Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.

Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.

You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.

Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.  

Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.

Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.

Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want." 

If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.

That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.

Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done? 

Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.

You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”

With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.

And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.

And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.

You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.

A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.

Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."

Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.

There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".

Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.

"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.

That he failed to save his daughter, again.

I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.

Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.

And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>

So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..

I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.

If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!

in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)

a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.

_____

katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.

"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."

hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol. 

"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying." 

"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."

the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down. 

after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance. 

"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now. 

"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."

the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?

seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it. 

the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you. 

"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-" 

it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened. 

the two of you have switched bodies.

you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy. 

there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv. 

life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top? 

physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan. 

you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.

later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world. 

"heyy katsuki!"

"hm? yah?" 

"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face

katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his. 

"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny." 

"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window." 

hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either. 

finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.

"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased 

"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"

"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator. 

"we have the entire night."

you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands. 

"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it." 

"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"

without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.

seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock. 

"what do good boys say katsuki~?" 

"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."

you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.

"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"

"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…" 

"that's a good boy…" 

after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time. 

during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back. 

you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.

"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face. 

"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain. 

"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life." 

regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you. 

without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure. 

"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back. 

incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands. 

katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you. 

[aminiatureworld]

Distance

Characters: Childe, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,280

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: What other explanation could there be? Surely this is the one logical answer. Even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t make sense.

In which the reader’s s/o assumes the reader is no longer interested.

Author’s Note: This prompt is really fun to write so far but I feel terrible torturing the poor characters like this. Oops.

Childe

The warm wind tickled Childe’s hair, causing the Harbinger to bat a few orange strands out of his face, eyes still pinned on the harbor that was fast approaching. The balmy breeze of Liyue was refreshing – a reminder of all the things he had been missing on his long-drawn-out trip. Now Childe leaned against the railing of the ship, eager to touch land, unable to contain the excitement he felt at the knowledge of what was awaiting him upon the dock.

Though he didn’t like to admit it this trip had been a particularly harrowing one, not just for Childe but for you as well. The post was notoriously touch-and-go across the Seven nations, especially with the deep snows whirling into Snezhnaya this time of year. The fact that he was gone almost a month certainly didn’t help. If he had to admit it Childe had found himself worrying about the time more than usual, worried how it might affect you. Now he was eager to push all those thoughts away, to once more find himself next to you, all well with the world. As the crew bustled around him to prepare the junk for docking the Harbinger took a deep breath in. There was nothing to worry about. Soon all would be well.

The empty dock was a jarring sight. Though saying it was devoid of people wouldn’t technically be accurate, business was going on as usual after all, to Childe it might as well have been a ghost town. Stumbling slightly, suddenly unsure of where to go, Childe climbed up the ramp awkwardly. Finding no one waiting for him on the stone pier as well, anxiety began to coil in Childe’s stomach. Had something happened? Ignoring the thoughts that flurried through his mind he quickly wove his way through the streets of Liyue. Though the city was bustling as always, laughter and shouting echoing through the air as people haggled and joked and went about their business, Childe found himself disconnected from his surroundings. His only thought was to find you, hopefully safe and sound and happy to see him.

There was no sign of anything wrong as Childe approached the door to your shared apartment. Sighing softly he dug around in his pack for the keys. You’d probably just fallen asleep, having recently taken up the habit of afternoon naps, according to your letters. Childe couldn’t really complain if that were the case, after all rest was important and you could hardly be blamed for not being aware of the time while conked out. Yes, surely you were asleep. Then Childe could give you the surprise of waking next to him. A smirk graced Childe’s lips at the thought of it, and as he turned the key in the lock he reassured himself. There was nothing to be worried about.

Unfortunately the Harbinger’s genius hypothesis had proven to be a false one. A quick scouring of the apartment revealed that you were not there, and no signs of any abnormal activity could be found as an explanation. Anxiety seeping into Childe’s mind he barely set down his pack before bolting out of the door, trying somewhat unconvincingly to keep his pace to a fast walk. Had something happened to you? Surely not! Childe knew you, knew that you could very well take care of yourself. He shouldn’t worry.

Still the thought passed through his head, combined with an even more unpleasant one. Had you simply forgotten about him? What if you didn’t care? Shaking his head the Harbinger took in a deep breath. He was overthinking things, still stuck in the mindset of a Harbinger. Not everything in life was a battle, hadn’t you told him that many times, teasing his constant need to see an obstacle to beat somewhere? He really should take your advice more seriously, at least in this case. Slowly down slightly Childe walked to the city center. He was sure his answer would be here; and that it would be so mundane as to not bother a second thought.

His pulse jumped in his throat as you finally entered his field of vision. You were sitting around with a few people, coworkers if the Guild crest and weaponry didn’t serve him wrong, chatting and smiling and overall having a wonderful time. Emotions stirred through Childe, the urge to run up to you, to stalk away, to find the nearest fountain and jump into it; but he stayed put, staring at your laughing face, pain flashing in his chest. He supposed he should’ve felt angry, felt like he’d been stood up. Instead all he felt was sadness, sadness and guilt.

Finally turning around Childe plodded back down the street, steps slow and sluggish. What did he expect really, for you to wait around for him forever? How was that fair? There was no reason you shouldn’t grow sick of waiting, shouldn’t want more out of your life. You were perfectly within your rights to want such a thing. Yet the pain continued, spreading throughout his chest until Childe felt like his lungs were on fire and his throat was crumpled in a fist of his own making.

Arriving back at the apartment a supernatural urge seemed to seize the Harbinger. Pack, he needed to pack. He wouldn’t burden you anymore, wouldn’t continue to strain your emotions by hanging around like a phantom. Luckily Childe wasn’t the kind of person to own a lot of things. Not that you really were either, between the both of you purchases mainly went into gifts for each other rather than personal buys. Childe now stood looking down at some of the things you’d bought or made for him. Scarves, books, a stuffed animal that had reminded you of his Delusion; all of these things lay peacefully on the shelf, giving the books behind them a slightly trapped looked. It was so homey and so comforting that Childe found tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.

Wiping his eyes roughly the Harbinger collapsed onto the couch. What was he doing? Part of him wondered if he shouldn’t just wait for you to come home, wait and see where you two really were. But it seemed unfair to do that. After all, what kind of sleazy person left their partner for a month then begged for their love and attention right after coming home? It was completely within your rights to want more, hadn’t Childe already made that clear to himself? And yet it hurt, it hurt so much. How had he managed to mess this all up, to let the thing most precious to him fall out of his hands? He had been so careless.

Giving himself up to his emotions Childe let the pooling tears stream down his cheeks. Suddenly everything seemed so very heavy. Closing his eyes for a moment Childe sighed. Five minutes, he would give himself five minutes before returning to his packing. Yet the familiar comfort of the couch beckoned to him, and soon fatigue overwhelmed him, dragging him down into the realm of sleep. Thankfully, he dreamt of nothing.

“Childe what are you doing?!”

Lurching up Childe glanced around wildly, hands automatically moving to summon his weapon. For a few seconds he found himself utterly confused, unable to comprehend where he was or what was going on. Soon enough however, the situation came crashing back to him and the Harbinger lowered his weapon. Glancing up at you he braced himself for whatever was going to happen next.

Well you certainly seemed upset, though not exactly in the way Childe might have expected. Instead of anger there seemed something more akin to panic in your eyes, and the red patches on your face certainly pointed to distress more than anything else.

“Is something wrong?”

“Is something wrong, you tell me that!” You took in a few erratic breaths, but your tone remained panicky. “Why are you packing? Do you have another trip? Why are you leaving?”

“I, I thought that it would be easier if I just left.” Childe lowered his head, unable to look you in the eyes. “I figured that I would spare you the pain of having to kick me out yourself.”

“Why in Teyvat would I kick you out?” You sat down on the couch next to Childe, and he could feel your eyes piercing through him. “What’s going on?”

“I didn’t see you at the docks when I returned.” Childe paused, gathering his thoughts. “At first I thought that you’d just fallen asleep or something but you weren’t home. And when I saw you out with your friends, well it made me realize how distant I’ve really been; physically, emotionally, everything. I realized that, and I realized that you deserved better, that I hadn’t been doing enough. I realized that you deserve more, deserve a partner who will always be there for you, who you won’t always have to be waiting for.”

“Oh Ajax.” You whispered softly.

Raising his head Childe could see no relief in your expression. Instead sadness was plainly plastered upon your face. Reaching out your hands you let Childe slump against you, carding your fingers through his hair as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry my darling, I thought you were coming back tomorrow. That’s why I was out. I would never think such a thing as abandoning you,” you spoke softly, tone achingly soft, “I mean it. Our relationship isn’t conventional, that’s true; but I would never trade it for anything. I would never think that you weren’t giving enough, I know how hard you work and how much you put into everything you know. Believe me Ajax, I don’t begrudge you any distance, I’ve never lacked love from you.”

“But what if one day you want something more,” Childe couldn’t help but ask, “what if one day letters aren’t enough? What if one day, what if one day I’m not enough?”

“I promise that will never happen,” you let out a soft sigh, “really Ajax you hold yourself too cheaply. You shouldn’t underestimate yourself, or underestimate me for that matter. You will always be enough for me. There will never be a day I want anything or anyone different, and if need be I will remind you of that every. single. day.”

Punctuation the last three words with kisses to Childe’s head you smiled as he titled his face up to gaze into yours. Though the panic had evaporated from you there was still sadness, and for a moment Childe felt guilt wash over him, guilt that he had caused you so many trials and that he hadn’t even had the courage to face you about it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Although I do appreciate you understanding that almost stealing out into the night nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Not my brightest moment.” Childe admitted.

“Perhaps not,” you laughed, “I mean really, you’d think that it was the second act of a tragedy or something, and not one I’d like to participate in.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize! Just don’t do it again, or next time I’ll get genuinely angry, and then you won’t get off the hook so easily.”

Childe pressed his lips to yours, another unspoken apology. Though you let out a small huff of impatience you nevertheless leaned into the kiss, smiling against his lips as you let your hands drift from his hair to his shoulders.

That night Childe lay awake, listening to the soft cadence of your breath, indulging in the feeling of peace that lay over him. Though he knew that his worries and insecurities would never truly leave him, Childe nonetheless felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Maybe one days his fears would come true, maybe one day this life wouldn’t be enough. But “ifs” and “maybes” weren’t guarantees, and until that day happened Childe would cherish the time he spent with you.

Besides, Childe trusted no one as much as he trusted you. If you said that such a day would never come to pass, then surely you were right.

  Kaeya

You were working late again.

Kaeya supposed that it shouldn’t have bothered him, but then again he also supposed that almost anyone would feel somewhat uneasy if their colleague and partner was suddenly avoiding them like the plague.

Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but not much in Kaeya’s mind. Of course, if this were some sort of habit then he would hardly mind; but after months of making it a tradition to always walk home together, well, safe to say the whole thing didn’t sit well. Nor was it simply a matter of you staying to work late, even the days where you finished earlier than him it seemed that you were always dashing off somewhere, leaving him painfully out of the loop.

Now Kaeya stood across the room from you, fingers drumming on his arm, face carefully hiding the irritation and concern that rose up inside him, threatening to spill over.

“I’m really sorry Kaeya!” Your tone was sincere, and the apology in your eyes seemed genuine enough. “It’s just that Jean asked me to look over the ledgers for the infantry. You know the captain is out this week, but Jean didn’t want to have to owe the City and the soldiers in terms of late funds. I promise it won’t take that long, I’ll be done as fast as I can.”

“Why don’t I help you with it?” Kaeya could feel the sarcasm sweetening his tone, attempted to rein it in he stared at you silently.

“You’ve been working so hard, I wouldn’t want to bother you with extra work.”

“It wouldn’t be a bother at all. Anything for my dear partner.”

“Really, it’s fine!” You twisted your hands, a nervous habit that Kaeya had long ago picked up on. “I’ll be done in time for dinner. And then we can the new recipe you’ve been telling me about; okay?”

“Very well.”

“Thanks for understanding!”

Though you seemed happy enough by the proposition Kaeya noticed how fast your head moved to the papers on your desk. Closing the door behind him he heard you let out a loud sigh. Clenching his hands, as if to remind himself that he was still in a semi-public setting, Kaeya stalked out of the Knight’s Headquarters. The thoughts in his head felt like static, and he worried that if he remained still for one more moment it would swallow him up.

Walking the streets of Mondstadt, Kaeya tried to reflect back upon the past few weeks. Had he done something wrong? Wracking his brain for any serious disputes Kaeya came up frustratingly emptyhanded. If you had fought over something this whole debacle would be one thing. Kaeya had a temper of his own, and petty acts of anger was something he admittedly struggled with often enough. He could hardly fault you if you acted in a similar way, or at least not without admitting to his own faults.

And yet nothing had happened, nothing that might cause such a dispute. Clenching his hands one more, aware that his knuckles must’ve been bone white, Kaeya let his thoughts drift to darker waters. What if you were just sick of him? It was certainly plausible, or at least Kaeya thought so. It would certainly explain why you now seemed to be avoiding him like the plague outside of work.

The thought hurt, as it might well do, but surprisingly most of the pain didn’t come from the idea itself, but from the idea that you wouldn’t tell him such a thing. You falling out of love with Kaeya would be been incredibly painful. You not trusting him enough to the point you were simply avoiding him, well the thought was enough to knock the wind out of him. Did you really think so ill of him? The idea filled Kaeya with smoldering rage and indignation – fueled in no little part by the fact that Kaeya ultimately might agree with you. Usually thoughts like those were the kinds you hated, the kinds you chased away with a stick, assuring Kaeya that no matter his past decisions he was still worthwhile. But you weren’t here now, and those dark thoughts were now kindling for the fire that burned in Kaeya’s mind.

By the time he’d reached the apartment Kaeya was almost sure of his hypothesis. Though a small part of his brain reminded him that he was working of a diet of sleep deprivation and anger, such logical thinking was easy enough to shrug off. After all, the signs were there. You were evidently getting quite sick of him, it was hardly Kaeya’s fault that he caught on.

Throwing his equipment on the floor, not bothering to even put his sword up on its stand, the Cavalry Captain walked towards the kitchen. What he needed was drink, maybe even two. Really if it were up to him he’d spend the next hour or so getting as drunk as possible before passing out in the tub. Thankfully though his reason hadn’t completely left him, and Kaeya managed to limit himself to two and a half glasses of cider. He needed to be at least on the side of sober for the conversation that was bound to pass once you came home after all.

The lateness of the hour in which you arrived felt like a personal insult, though really it was only 21:00 or so.

“Kaeya?” You called out, whipping the Cavalry Captain out of his thoughts.

Stepping into the kitchen the grin on your face was a stark contrast to the emotions that swirled in Kaeya’s mind. Hands clasped behind your back you stood in the doorframe as if expecting something. You’d probably be in for a nasty surprise. Kaeya smiled sweetly at you, words burning in his mouth, mixing with the alcohol. This was a bad idea.

“How was the paperwork?”

“The paperwork? Oh! It was boring enough I suppose. I kept getting distracted though, I really should’ve had you there, you could’ve kept me from nodding off.”

“I’m sure I would have. Tell me something my dear, I have a question that’s been burning in my mind.”

“Yes?”

“Tell me why it is that out lovely Acting Grandmaster asked you to go over the ledgers when I was assigned to that exact thing yesterday?”

Ignoring the blotches of red that immediately spread across your cheeks Kaeya stood up. Carefully going to clean the glass he’d been using he stared into the sink, not trusting himself to look at you. If he did all the words he wanted to say would fly out at once, and something that probably shouldn’t be said with them.

“Did she ask you that? How odd! She must’ve wanted a second pair of eyes or something, I guess.”

“Are my eyes not good enough?”

“Kaeya, you know I wasn’t insulting your work.” A sort of shocked irritation ran through your voice. “You’re the best knight in Mondstadt after all.”

“Oh really? Well if you think so highly of me then why have you been avoiding me so much?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Then let me ask a different question; when was the last time we walked home together?”

“I don’t know, a week and a half ago?”

“Try two and a half.” Kaeya finally turned around, drumming his fingers on the counter. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you!” Indignation shot through your words as you shook your head. “I’m just busy recently.”

“Busy with made up work.”

“It’s not made up!”

“Oh really, then tell me what was your work last night?”

“I had to oil the bow strings for my regiment.”

“They couldn’t do it themselves according to protocol?”

“Not the new recruits they couldn’t!”

“Then what about the day before?”

“Kaeya!” You finally burst out. “I don’t know why you’re so quick to find fault with me right now! Just tell me what you’re getting at, if you’re going to insult me you might as well do it head on.”

A part of him admired you for wanting to look at the problem right in the face, another part of him thought of how well you knew him, how attuned you were to his moods. Just as he had figured out that you were avoiding him, so could you tell that his jabs were a misdirection. It was almost funny really, seeing the things you both had picked up about one another now used at the end.

“Fine.” Kaeya crossed his arms, hoping his expression was at least somewhat neutral. “It seems obvious to me that you’ve been avoiding me, and that you no longer want my company. What I am getting at is the fact that you want to break up, and that you evidently trust me so little with that fact that the only solution you’ve come up with is to avoid me.”

Your face went slack with shock, pupils turning to pinpricks as you stumbled backwards. Finally letting your arms fall to your sides you grabbed the side of the doorframe, as if unable to process what he just come out of your partner’s mouth.

“What?”

“Do you really trust me so little?” Kaeya pressed on, feeling his emotions begin to spill over. “Am I really so untrustworthy that you can’t even tell me you want to end things? Am I, am I really that untrustworthy?”

Everything seemed to be going all wrong. Kaeya had expected you to immediately fess up, had expected guilt and relief and then the end. Instead all he got was incredulous silence, incredulous silence and a look that screamed utter and total disbelief.

“Do you really think that I would do that to you?”

The question was a simple enough one, one that anyone might ask during a conversation of this nature. Still your tone was so dispassionate that Kaeya couldn’t help but pause. Did he really think that you would do such a thing? His anger certainly thought so, helped a great deal by his current buzzed state. All that aside however, did he really think that? When he woke up tomorrow, would these thoughts still be swirling through his head, these angry thoughts that threatened to burn through his happiness.

“I don’t know.” It was the best answer he could give.

“Then why would you accuse me of something you weren’t even sure of?”

“I…”

“Kaeya have you really thought so little about what you just told me?”

He almost wanted to apologize for how stupid his words seemed in retrospect.

“Would it help you if I told you where I actually was?”

Your voice was still quiet, but not entirely closed. Nodding stiffly Kaeya felt his fingers still.

“Very well. You were right about one thing, I wasn’t actually checking the ledgers for Jean; and I wasn’t oiling bowstrings all day either, I mean our troops should know how to do that at least. But you made one mistake in your judgement Kaeya, the idea that I was avoiding you. In truth I was gathering materials, I wanted to make a new sword for you. Your current one is so brittle and since I know you don’t want to use the sword you were given as an heirloom, well I thought that I wouldn’t wait for your current one to break and that your new one would be a present.”

“…I see.”

It was all Kaeya could get out; how else could he reply? Shame and guilt mingled within his mind, quickly dousing any anger that he might’ve felt. He really fucked up this one didn’t he. He let his emotions slip once more and now he had made a fool of himself. More than that he had refused to trust you, had ended up doing the exact thing he had just accused you of. Now what was there to do? He couldn’t exactly slink away with his dignity; even if he had managed to retain that, there weren’t many places to go.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

Kaeya jerked his head up from the spot he’d been examining on the floor, confused by the sudden turn of the conversation. You stared into his eyes, shrugging slightly.

“I said I’m sorry. I’m sorry Kaeya, I should’ve come up with a better method. I didn’t mean to make you worried, or to make you feel like I wanted to no longer associate with you. Believe me that’s the last thing I want to do. So I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.”

“I was the one who accused you of all those things that weren’t true.”

“You did. I’m not very happy about that to be honest; you’re going to be doing some serious penance for the next week. I just figured that before that I would apologize. Then we could be even. Okay?”

Reaching out your hand Kaeya finally noticed what you’d been hiding. The windwheel aster was slightly limp, the breeze that gave it its beauty nowhere to be found. Nevertheless it seemed at the moment the most beautiful flower in the world. Walking over to you Kaeya tentatively took the flower in his hand. Smiling softly he leaned down to kiss you.

“I’m sorry.”

Tomorrow he’d start making it up to you. Tomorrow he wouldn’t listen to his demons, wouldn’t let his own lack of self-worth hurt you. Tomorrow he would do better by you and more. Today he would say sorry.

After all, he had plenty of time.