#could you imagine Izzy dying??? or Simon or Clary or Alec or Magnus or Jace????

[helenofblackthorns]

if I've learned anything from this reread it's that the tmi gang is extremely precious to me & I love them so much more than I thought I did. if anything happens to any of them in twp I have no idea what I would do... I feel nauseous just thinking about the possibility

[beclynn-herondale]

For the Circle week: Céline and Jace

"Hey," Jace said, talking to a gravestone like it could hear him. "I know we never really met, but I want you to know that I would have liked to know you."

He came here hoping to maybe try and get am idea of what she may have been like, his birth mother, he recently got very curious about his family roots, he could find a lot about his father and people had many stories, but his mom not so much, no one really knew her and he couldn't help but feel sad for her, he couldn't imagine still not being known.

He often wondered if Valentine lied about her too, did she really kill herself? It didn't sit right with Jace, and maybe it's just him not wanting to think that but he always felt uneasy on that part, though he also didn't have much to go on what she was like so how could he be sure?

He always trusted his instincts but what if he is letting his emotions or false dreams get in the way?

He wished he could just know, but maybe some people just get forgotten, people have td him little things but no one could give him much else about her, he felt that's a crime and that his mother wasn't insane, she just needed help she never got because the Clave thinks they know everything and don't need to change.

He noticed his hands were shaking from getting emotional and calmed himself, it was weird, this healing journey he was on, he was crying again and felt his emotions so deeply again, there were moments where he thought to himself "Valentine would be disappointed in you" but he pushed them away knowing now that that's not true.

"I don't know what to say," he said. "I never knew you but I feel like you were treated so wrongly, I feel like the Clave makes up excuses so they don't have to accept the fact that maybe the way things are is wrong. I feel like they owed you better than this."

He felt like he was repeating himself.

"but you know, I kinda get it. I struggle sometimes too, and I refuse to ask for help all the time. I don't know maybe you were the same? Sometimes it all just sucks," he said, taking a deep breath. "And you know, Clary, she's always talking about how she wishes there was a rune to heal grief, that's just her, she's amazing. She's strong and brave and kind, she's one of the best people I know. And one of the people I love most in this world. And there's Alec, my brother, my parabatai, my rock. I don't know what I would do without him, if not for him I probably wouldn't have made it far enough to meet Clary and turn my life around. Alec is so good and had so much faith, he wants to change the world and make it a better place. And there's Izzy, my sister, she's so passionate and such a badass. She's my partner in crime, she's always had my back and stood up for me, she is brilliant and brave. There's Simon as well, he's alright, I think we're friends. He's cool, though I am not good at relationship stuff I try to be friends with him, he also wants to do the right thing and it's admirable. There's also Magnus, he's cool as well, and he loves Alec as much as I do so that makes me like him a lot, I think we're friends as well maybe family technically, but I don't think either of us will admit that," he chuckled. "There's Max and Rafe as well, those boys, my boys. They are so young and innocent and sweet, it makes me want to protect them from the world that will knew day teach them hard lessons, but I guess that's why you have your family to be there when those lessons come your way and pick you back up. There's Maryse, the woman I call Mom, I don't want you to feel bad about that, she's a good mom to me, I know you probably wish you were here instead but believe me she's awesome," he trailed off.

What am I doing?

"but I also want you to know, that if you hadn't died, if you had lived, I think we could have been close as well. But I suppose the universe isn't always fair. I just want you to know that if you ever felt any kind of guilt for dying and not being here for me, that it's okay, I am okay, and I want you to be at peace," he said.

------

She didn't think he realized she was there listening to him speak, he had his head down and was talking. She was on the other side of the gravestone, just listening to his voice, thanking the people who loved her boy.

Even though it hurt knowing she couldn't be his mom, she thanked Maryse for being that to him. She thanked Clary Fairchild for loving him beyond measure. Thanked Alec Lightwood for being there to always take care of him and love him as well. Thanked Isabelle Lightwood for being a sister to him. Thanked Simon Lovelace for being a friend. Thanked Magnus Bane for secretly being like a big brother to him, though bsje wasn't sure if he realized it. Thanked Rafe and Max for loving him. and finally thanked the Angel for letting him live and be happy.

I love you, my boy. And I wish I could know you but I leave you with the ones who love you as much as I would have. I never got to hold you in my arms but at least I can be at peace knowing people do hold you. I am proud of you sunshine.

Tagging @khaleesiofalicante since you do be running this week.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x20 Reaction / Commentary

I wonder why, considering it wasn't hard at all. They barely had a plan and even had time to include some personal drama in their fight. Wtf. The only thing I can imagine why no one ever managed to kidnap her before is because no one wanted to have a hostage as irritating as the seelie queen.

Hahahahahaha hilarious. Also, lol, no I'm choosing not to think of the implications because they are TOO DISTURBING, YOU HEAR ME @intezaarlily XD XD XD

HAHAHA I CAN'T THE WAY SHE PETULANTLY SHAKES HER HEAD

I mean, compelling argument. And very fitting since we learned from that Lilith Debacle that the Shadowhunters' go to solution for everything and anything is torture. But what I find way more interesting is that we finally get a good look at the side of the seelie queen's crown.

's pretty.

There's so much to unpack in this scene. Which I'm gonna do, in excruciating detail. In a relationship analysis post thingy, not here, because time and space reasons. Just know that this scene is absolutely amazing, their facial expressions and gestures, and of course the pretzel. Dammit, so amazing. Can't wait to fawn over it all.

I'm with Meliorn on this one. Just because Lanaia committed a violation of the Accords (yes, on behalf of the seelie queen but the shadowhunters have no way of knowing that and I guess Meliorn wasn't stupid enough to tell them that) doesn't mean Clary can violate the Accords back and go unpunished. That's not how a legal system works. It's clear that with this whole operation the shadowhunters valued Clary's life over that of however may seelie guards' it would have taken to keep Jace's cover and get Clary back. I bet you Alec is aware of that and that's why he has that pinched look on his face the whole time. And while he argues pro shadowhunter side with that injection about Lanaia and he tries to placate Meliorn, he noticable doesn't try to justify Jace's actions at all, and whenever Jace does, Alec closes his eyes as if he's thinking “Dude don't you realize that's not an argument.”

And then he just wants to leave???? Hahaha creep

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD COMEDIC GOLD. The way he delivers that line I can't!!! The way he says “naturrrrrr” hahaha delicious.

Uh if that's the smartest move? Who knows what kind of kinky shit Meliorn will demand in return?? I mean, just look at his smirk. Also, in case this doesn't get addressed again this is such a ficlet waiting to be written lol.

The way Alec immediately starts almost-crying when someone mentions Magnus pulls on my heartstrings. Fragile darling boy.

I mean, I'm pretty sure Alec carrying the ring around in his pocket was for meta reasons so he could give it to Maryse in their only scene together, but dammmnnn the in universe implications. Ouch.

I'm really going to miss this XD

“My” door??? My ass.

“Alec and I are no longer.”

lsjfkasdjflksdjfsdjflskdjf I CAN'T HAHAHHAAH HIS FACE

Hahahahha please Lorenzo stop, I feel like I shouldn't be laughing so much XD Isn't this episode supposed to be Super Dramatic? I'm actually having the time of my life so far XD

XD XD XD XD XD

Okay and now I'm back to rage because wtf!!!! So Magnus is aware that Lorenzo's jurisdiction is limited and tiny, why didn't he remember that literally anytime before this, for example in 3x10?? Just imagine it, if Magnus had done that fancy ritual thingy he wouldn't have even needed to trade his magic away. Oh right, problem identified. There wouldn't have been some Prime Drama if he'd behaved like a sensible person. Ugh.

The way Lorenzo's face falls upon hearing Asmodeus is priceless. But, uh, important question, how the hell does he know Asmodeus's face? Or does he identify him by his powers? Then again he failed identifying Asmodeus's power signature before already (3x02) so uuhhhh I need answers.

Magnus Bane, finally enjoying the Draco Malfoy Way Of Life. I mean, that's not really rebutting Lorenzo's claim. The opposite, in fact. Also wtf does Lorenzo have for nerves to say that to Asmodeus's face???

So this is not common warlock practice. Thanks for clarifying. Also, look at Asmodeus's smug face when Magnus references Edom hahaha #ProudDad

THE SASS HAHAHA (btw for a moment I was worried he'd turnd him into a plastic lizard until it moved haha)

Also this means, the person Magnus trashes later in the loft with the whips, as seen in the promo, is Asmodeus?? Because he learns of his deal with Alec?? Or tbh, I've been entertaining the thought that it's Alec ahahaha

Also, Asmodues saying “When they hear about what?” has the same energy as Loki saying “I'm listening” in Avengers 1.

Yeah I still have questions about that. But sure, whatever. Then again, if Jordan is so long-fingered he could start a career as pickpocket. Sounds like a stable income job to me.

See, the problem here is that this isn't fixing any of Maia's problems. Apart from the fact that currently she has no problems to fix as far as I'm concerned (the dead pack won't be miraculously resurrected if she becomes human) her issues with her family aren't due to her being a werewolf. She's adjusted to her life as a werewolf and if you ask me, she's grown to love it and she doesn't want to go back. Hell, she wanted to become alpha. She's working on building her own pack now. Someone who hates being a werewolf wouldn't do that. Very obviously, his line of reasoning makes sense for Jordan because he can't forgive himself for turning and abandoning Maia, which he views as ruining her life. So by reversing it he could finally start to atone for what he did. Perfectly ic, but very frustrating because as I pointed out, this won't benefit Maia in any way, it'll just create drama between the two of them. (And frankly, while I moderately care about both of them, I'd rather have Malec on my screen. Sue me.)

Uh-huh, so some werewolf praetor spy with binoculars saw that Jordan stole the vial from the Institute but Izzy and Simon, who were literally in the same room didn't. No questions, your honor. Also ngl, since I knew this scene from the sneak peek already and couldn't care less about Luke's stupid Praetor plotline I skipped this scene XD #sorry not sorry

I know a lot of people were relieved Clary didn't make out with Jonathan and I'm honestly so surprised why people would assume in the first place there was any risk for that. Despite the Evil Rune taking hold she's still aware of her feelings, for example her love for Jace etc. So why would she suddenly be into incest?

Hehehehe the likelyhood of Asmodeus getting trashed in that loft is growing XD (Also please appreciate how I'm keeping my salt about Maryse's “I love you” under wraps, I'm amazed at my self restraint.)

I mean, I was really surprised by a character actually taking action, trying their hand at communication like this. I am impressed. The thing that I slightly dislike is that it's Maryse. She didn't have all the info about the deal Alec made with Asmodeus and a) Izzy had and I really, really expected her to do something about that instead of just letting Alec wreck his life and, to a good part, Magnus's as well, and b) if even Maryse, without even knowing for sure that Magnus's magic returned after Alec broke up with him, could put two and two together, why the hell didn't Magnus??

I can half buy that with his issues and insecurites striking harder than ever, amplyfied by the severe grief of his magic loss, he'd fall for Alec's lies because to him Alec loving him the way he did was too good to be true anyway, and their relationship wasn't long enough for Magnus to really get used to the idea that he gets to keep this. It's obvious in the way he always keeps his eyes closed after they kiss, this moment of disbelieve that this is actually real. So Alec breaking up with him wouldn't be an unreastic thing, it would be reality finally catching up with them, it'd be the universe rightening itself.

But, I only half buy it. Because even if Magnus had doubts about himself and his worth, how the hell could he revisit all those memories in 3x19 where Alec was dropping wedding vows left and right, and not realize that something about Alec was off there. Anyway, dwelling on this is pointless because what's done is done, but it's a very weak explanation and very convenient, story telling wise.

Hahahha love me some common sense. Maia has tons of it. Makes her so likable.

Listen, I like Jordan, but I can't even feel any sympathy in the face of all this stupidity. Just take the frakkin vial yourself, idiot. Humans don't die from silver poisoning. And it's clear that you're struggling with your werewolf-dom to hell and back. This would literally solve all of their problems wtf. But God forbid anyone ever act reasonable on this show. Goddammit.

Hahahha so rude. *Loki Voice* WHO PUT HIM THERE??? Another missing scene ficlet dying to be written XD Also, does Lorenzo still have his consciousness or was his mind reduced to that of a lizard? Will it be restored when he's transformed back? Is that even possible or was that transformation irreversible? Will he remember his time as a lizard? Or is Lorenzo as we know and love to hate him gone forever? So many questions.

Bitch you didn't, you had to be TOLD

I find it amazing that Asmodues tries to argue with Magnus even though his evil plan was uncovered. He really doesn't get it, does he? That Magnus likes his life and doesn't want to be in Edom?

I am reeling. What a frikkin powermove, disposing of him like that, and with his own invention no less. Talk about a dead ass capable character who could trash everyone in his way. Honestly I'm still processing. This is so radical wtf. So I'm never gonna get another scene with Asmodeus?? Please I wanted more of them!! I am so helplessly in love with their dynamic. 5 bucks say he was supposed to come back in S4 I WAS SO DEPRIVED OH GOD!!!!!

Edit: Yeah, this was actually supposed to be a setup for a Dark!Magnus plotline, with Asmodeus playing a big role in S4. They changed that and cut this short, here's the article I got this from. We were so robbed. I can't.

“Hurry, away from this Shadowhunter Nonsense. Honestly, that they can never solve their shit issues in their own fugly ass Institute but have to do it on our beautifully groomed frontyard. The disrespect.”

WOW IZZY'S WEARING FLAT SHOES FOR THE OCCASION CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

Also that fighting is awesome and all (Alec as a tactical advantage, Jace “betraying” his position as a ploy, color me impressed) but doesn't Clary have to stab Jonathan for it to work?? Or is it enough if one of the bondmates is stabbed with the sword?? And since Fake Glorious is super instable etc. and will likely be destroyed in the process they shouldn't take any chances and make sure it really works the first time around.

I get that this is supposed to be dramatic but sorry, I don't buy for one second that 3 Months Shadowhunter Newby Clary manages to get one over Izzy who's been literally trained since birth (yeah that was a quote from Arthur because I'm total Merlin Trash) and she's their best fighter ever and could beat Jace and Alec at the same time with the flick of a wrist while blindfolded. Please. Oh my god. Maybe because she always fights with her whip she's not too used to a sword. Then again she also uses a staff and she still was trained since birth so no, I'm still not buying it.

Hahahahah nice one, Simon.

“That's my plan, you can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it....”

why I mean, this was a conscious choice on producers' part, right. So I'm demanding an explanation. What's the point of this weirdly edited grunt?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hm, they don't fold too nicely. But all in all, pretty solid wing work.

?????? This makes no sense since, prior to this half season, he wasn't tethered to Clary. Wtf. For all intents and purposes, Jonathan should be dropping dead to the ground since he was using Clary's life force to be alive, remember, he was literally killed to death before. Only their bond was keeping him alive. This makes no sense whatsoever. But anyway, that was a pretty impressive departure.

Yeah, how about you get the f outta there now, Simon.

H-e-a-l-i-n-g  r-u-n-e. Honestly. Wtf.

Also, Izzy pushing Simon to the ground was a little stupid, he could have vampire-run out of the explosion's perimeter easily. If he had a few brain cells. Okay, problem identified, I take everything back, Izzy made the right call.

And I guess Alec's just chilling over there on the forrest ground. He deserves that break, man.

Just force it down Jordan's throat omg. If he still dies, whatever, good for him, he got what he wanted. If not then he can maybe start facing his Maia-shaped issues in a constructive way.

Maia giving it to Luke makes no sense. How the f does he want to “get rid of it” wtf. If I were Maia I'd just pour it in the river or idk, burry it somewhere. Lock it in a safe, throw away the key. Or better yet, keep an eye on it. But sure, Luke who just learned the Praetor are full of shit is gonna give it to them?? I mean, the thought must have crossed his mind that maybe they didn't heal Jordan as a punishment for failing that Heidi mission? Since apparently it's common werewolf knowledge that the Praetor is able to cure a silver poisoning? Jordan wouldn't have said that if they didn't have a cure for it, right? If Luke honestly gives them that vial, he'll be dead to me. I fully expect him to try and blackmail the Praetor with it or something, but if he doesn't istg.

You're on thin effing ice, man.

Aahhhhh yeah how very convenient. Also rude, they stole Jonathan's home :C Also technically she shouldn't be able to do that because it's demon travel and she no longer has a connection to demon blood.

Yeah and they also steamrolled whatever room was there before they parked that big ass apartment there. Congrats.

“You barely got your licence to drive a car, much less whatever that was.”

hahahaha

ALEC'S FACE HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE ONE 100% DONE MAN

Hell yeah logic!! But lol I genuinely don't think Jace or Simon thought of that when they were unhelpfully patting her back.

.........? How is Simon there then? This isn't even sarcasm, I genuinely don't get it.

This was cute and all, but she didn't actually activate her iratze wtf. Or wash off her blood.

Dude wtf Maia

I mean come on, this is so obvious to top off their drama.

Yep, I called it. Seriously, you don't leave a person on the brink of death alone for literally this reason. And before you tell me she was just getting some food to lighten the mood from her way back from the bridge, there was still tons of daylight then and this is at least several hours later. I am sorry, but I feel zero sympathy.

1) Where do those surviving werewolves besides Bat come from? 2) What does mundane police have to say about this public cremation? 3) I remember this shot of Maia walking away from the fire from the 3B Trailer. So rude.

ALSO I'M MORE THAN READY FOR SOME MALEC CONTENT WTF MAN

NO. NO I DO NOT BUY. EITHER THE WINGS ARE STILL THERE OR HIS JACKET IS RIPPED TO PIECES BUT YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND THEY MAGICALLY APPEAR ON TOP OF HIS CLOTHES WTF He's not Miley Cyrus from that one music video. (Can't be Tamed, if you're wondering.)

0 bucks say he caught them making out, honestly this was so obvious.

This rang deep. Really great moment. I can't really put it into words, but this had such an impact. A real warrior feel to it. Amazing.

“No obviously we don't but c'mon, work with me here.”

I can't possibly put into words the love I'm feeling for one (1) extra warlock.

He finally got it. My poor murderous incest baby. Too bad this means Clary lost her only bargaining chip.

NOOOO IT'S NOT, YOU WERE RAISED BY VAL IN A HUT AND THEN LIVED AT THE NY INSTITUE, THE ONLY TIME YOU VISITED ALICANTE WAS OWL'ED OUT OF YOUR MIND TO KILL IMOGEN WHAT THE HELL HAHAHA

I love how he delivers this line. It's his goodbye because there's no making it out of there alive, and the last thing of importance he has to say is a love confession to Clary. Very nice delivery.

ahahahahah okay this was a nice echoing of Jace's other love confession, but all I could focus on was how frakkin red Clary's hand is hahaha

I love everything about this, okay. I love how Alec just gives in because he couldn't stand to be apart from Magnus for one more second. I love how this is reminiscent of their first kiss at Alec's fail wedding. (Btw can you believe we're gonna start and end Malec with a kiss at a wedding and a wedding kiss? The poetry.) I love the backdrop, the absolute destruction. Love Izzy in her rightful place in the first row since she's the Captain of the MS Malec.

I really appreciate that they bothered with an explanation why Magnus needs to go to Edom at all, but, uh, if memory serves right he closed a rift to Edom in 2x19 and it was no big deal. I'd buy that this rift is larger or more powerful because it was created by the Morgenstern Sword but just because I can find an explanation that this task is harder than one Magnus already accomplished onscreen with relative ease doesn't mean it's not the Show’s duty to deliver an explanation of its own accord instead of letting fans pick through their worldbuilding and figuring out something that makes sense. A simple “You closed rifts before, from Earth.” - “This rift is too large” would have been enough. Is that too much to ask.

GOD MAGNUS WHY THAT WORDING I HAD TO THINK OF LORENZO WTF MAN WHY YOU MAKE ME THINK OF LORENZO WHHHYYYYYYYY

When he lifted his hand in that slow deliberate move I was SO SURE HE'D BE WEARING THE LIGHWOOD RING HAHAHA

HAHAHA THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT THE FUGLY LIGHTWOOD FAMILY RING (since that has a square shape on top, come on) YES I STAN A FASHION ICON

Btw there's a description in those rings, I can't really tell, but the one on the right looks like a loopy A upside down so I'm guessing one has “Alexander” and the other “Magnus” on the inside????

Edit: Both rings say “Aku cinta kamu” and I am DEAD

Hahahaha Alec wanted to win the proposal but this round goes to Magnus. But tbh he totally cheated XD XD XD

Ngl, the ring catching on Magnus's knuckle for a moment reminded me of the wedding of Kate and William ahahahaa I'm trash XD

Can you believe Malec got cheated out of their first engaged kiss by some rude ass explosion? Unfair.

I find myself genuinely confused by this. Why does Alec even entertain the thought of not going with Magnus? It seems so illogical that they'd seperate now. Later reason kicked in, and yeah, Edom probably isn't the best place for a shadowhunter but this is exactly it: Alec's instinct should have been to go with Magnus and I wish they'd taken the time to address this in any way, to give Alec the chance to express his wish to go with Magnus.

WTF WHY DOES MAGNUS SHAKE HIS HEAD THIS IS NOT OKAY WTF

But then he jokes about runaway grooms anyway because he thinks he’ll never see Alec again and he wants Alec to remember him joking & smiling & happy *cries* I’M SAD. why did I bring that up.

Thanks, @intezaarlily for making tHIS EVEN WORSE WTF

OH MY GOD I CAN'T I'M LAUGHING SO HARD THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS HAHAHAHA Magnus REALLY should have pulled the portal down on himself and not flown into it like a flying fish jumping out of the water wtf hahaha. Then again this is proof he can totally do the superman flight and it is CANON that he did that at some point. He had a whole annoying phase where he'd just fly around like a super hero. Cat was so done with it. Ragnor refused to be around him at all. Good times.

Anyway, another thing I need an explanation for is why it'll be so hard for Magnus to return to Earth. In 3x10 that posed No Problem, meaning one of two things. Either a) Asmodeus sent him back or b) he could easily travel back because he used that pentagram thingy. Honestly, the fact that Jonathan just as easily returns to Earth after his failed attempt on Lilith's life lets me favor b), which begs the question why Magnus used a regular portal instead of the pentagram thingy now. But even if a) is the case then that means Greater Demons apparently have no problem removing people from Edom and then I wonder if Magnus will have to beg Azazel or something to return him home lol, like a little kiddie asking for a lift. Or maybe, since he channelled his epic Edom!Power, maybe he can send himself back?? In any case I want some solid explanation on that.

Alec just collapsing made so much sense okay. I could feel the emptiness in my own chest, having gained and lost everything in a few short minutes, I can't even imagine how crushed Alec must be feeling.

Magnus's magic closing the rift is so epic in an incredibly emotional and intimate sense. Seeing his magic, part of him, when he's so far beyond all of their reach. It's incredible, it's touching and powerful and so so fragile. I'm amazed.

I can't believe they did this. I can't believe they put the literally last shot of this in the 3B Trailer. The audacity.

Okay but really important question, who's gonna feed Lorenzo now??? (God only one week left I am dead.)

[anthony-kate]

MALEC ADVENT CALENDAR 2018 | December 7th by @the-roci

It's not only apple cider that pools in the center of his chest, radiating outward until Alec feels impossibly loose with a comfort he's been chasing since childhood. Muscle by muscle, his body continues exhaling the pent up tension he's been carrying from the first time he looked at another boy and thought: he's beautiful. Because all the years of fighting himself and hiding are finally melting away, replaced by a warmth as beautiful and golden as the flicker of candlelight currently spread around the cabin.

With the night dying down, they’ve all settled around the soft glow of flames in the living room, letting a gentle lull roll over them as they shift from bursts of laughter to something more quiet and intimate. Almost inaudible Christmas song mix with the steady hum of alcohol as Alec watches as Jace, Clary, and Izzy squeeze themselves between Maryse, Luke, Maia, and Simon. It’s not exactly a new thought, but one that’s been cementing itself in his consciousness every time they have evenings like this. The idea that he can have this. Easy moments surrounded by friends and family as he drapes a hand over his boyfriend’s shoulder and kisses the side of his head while Izzy dives deeper into whatever story she’s telling from their childhood.

Alec tries to listen as she mentions something about getting caught sneaking around the armory after dark, but he’s transfixed by the way Magnus crinkles his nose when he laughs and how his body pools into Alec’s. It feels good, the solid press of muscles against his side. And all he can think about is diving deeper into the shared warmth as he loses himself in the most blissful type of buzz. But Magnus shifts slightly, bringing Alec back into Izzy’s story. She’s adding details Alec is fairly certain never happened when Magnus shifts, moving until he can place a hand on Alec’s knee. And it verges on overwhelming really, how something that once seemed impossible has transformed into something simple. A touch so normal and casual that it’s completely overlooked by everyone in the room. Izzy is still leaning forward, lost in her own story as Clary shakes her head and looks at Jace.

“You didn’t say that,” Clary says, eyes illuminating with the Christmas lights they put up that morning. “Please tell me that he didn’t say that.”

“Oh, he did,” Maryse assures. “He absolutely did. I wanted to give them all extra cleaning duty for a month, but Alec managed to calm me down the next morning. Always playing the diplomat, even from such a young age.”

Magnus squeezes his knee, and when Alec looks up again, Maryse is watching him with a fondness so palpable he can almost breathe it in. It’s enough to make something inside Alec crack. The leftover pressure of making up girlfriends and hiding himself to honor his family releases in a large, encompassing huff. And as the very foundation of him settles, he’s left feeling sluggish, the type of satisfaction that comes after an extremely good workout. He’s sated, relaxed in ways he doesn’t remember feeling before.

“That certainly sounds like Alec,” Magnus says. “So, what other trouble has his diplomacy gotten him out of?” The only thing that makes tonight better is how comfortable Magnus appears next to him. Like he’s found his own sense of belonging here.

“How about a story when diplomacy didn’t work?” Maryse asks, sitting back with a content smile. “Has he ever told you about time the Croatian Institute sent over an envoy?”

And just like that, the moment fizzles. Replaced by blood rushing to his cheeks before he launches forward. “He doesn’t need to hear about that. I don’t think anyone needs to hear about that ever again.” He shakes his head when Magnus turns to look at him, expectantly. “Trust me, it’s not even that funny. We should talk about anything else. Really.”

“What are you talking about,” Jace says, in what will go down as the biggest betrayal in history. “That’s a classic. You’re going to love this Magnus.”

Before Maryse begins her own story, Alec excuses himself to the kitchen before residual embarrassment turns into a bottomless pit of regret that will have him reaching for more alcohol. He gives himself a moment before rejoining the group, resting against the doorway of the kitchen, and finding himself struck with a lightheartedness that has him smiling as everyone laughs at his expense. Seeing everyone together, so cheerful after the year they’ve had, it’s a reminder of everything he’s been sacrificing and fighting so hard for. And as Magnus stands and makes his way over towards Alec, everything he’s going to keep fighting for.  

"If it helps, it wasn’t that bad,” Magnus says, slightly slurred, but no less elegant, "but if this is just your way of getting me alone, it certainly worked.”

Alec surprises himself by smiling instead of rolling his eyes. "Hate to break it to you, but I was just getting a refill."

“Well, in that case, care for a top off?” Reaching into his silver blazer, Magnus pulls out the flask of rum that got them both the perfect level of hazy and splashes it into the cider. “That should give you enough courage to show your face again.”

“It’s fine, I've survived worse. I just got caught up in all of this for a second.”

Magnus turns his head, glancing back into the living room. "All of this?"

"I never imagined something like this for myself." Alec only half realizes he says it. Mumbled into a small, warm sip. "I mean, we spent time as a family around the holidays, but never like this." Drinking and playing games like their lives weren't constantly on the line. But at least for this moment, they could remove themselves from all the obligations that demanded their attention and focus on themselves.  

When Alec was a child, they were all bearing the weight of their family name. And while Alec was perceptive, he missed how his parents were buckling under the pressure of what was expected of them, just like he, Izzy, and Jace were. They all suffered for it. Now though, huddled together with snow falling gently outside the window, it feels like a family. Something gentle and beautiful, crafted from pain and heartache, but something completely and uniquely their own. He wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

"I didn't either," Magnus responds. He has that distant look in his eyes when Alec turns towards him. Something as vast as the horizon and caught in the tide of centuries. Alec can’t begin to comprehend the magnitude of Magnus’ lifetime of memories, but he knows how to pull him back to the present, and so he does.  

Reaching for him, Alec takes Magnus' hand in his own and guides it to his lips. He'd give everything and more to ensure Magnus knows only the feeling of the first flush of alcohol and the soft security that can only come from an evening surrounded by unconditional love. A soft surge of protection ripples inside Alec as he pulls Magnus close, sliding his arms around his waist and enveloping him in a hug. Hearts beating against each other, Alec loses himself in the soothing feeling of Magnus against him. There’s so much Alec wants to say, but he lets the curve of his body make all the promises for him.

"I hope I've changed that," he half whispers into spikes of black hair.

"You have. That and so much more.” Magnus pulls away enough to place a palm against Alec’s cheek. It shouldn't be possible for a single touch to make him feel like he's the most valuable thing in the world. But Magnus is looking at him with eyes glistening with the reflection of string lights and something so open and vulnerable and happy. Kissing Magnus comes even easier than pulling him closer while they were still on the couch.

It’s a slow and soft. Something as gentle as the evening has become. Full of security and the promise of a future so much lighter than they ever could have ever imagine before. And really, Alec should let go, but he’s caught in a rush of tranquility, holding Magnus against him, the warmth of ringed hands pressing into his back. Alec feels full, so completely himself that it’s almost difficult to wrap his head around. So he focuses on the push and drag of lips against him. The quiet sigh he absorbs into himself.

Awareness creeps back in the sound of Jace's voice. "Can you two save it for later? We’re about to take a Christmas selfie.”

With his heart still full from being able to be himself, openly loving the man he secretly wished to meet since he was a child, Alec pulls himself away. Still, it takes a few seconds to completely untangle himself from Magnus.

"Trust me, I’ll be saving much more for later," Magnus whispers as he walks back to the group, leaving Alec momentarily breathless. He feels like he's hovering, lost in an intoxicating stratosphere, but he knows everything will be exactly the same when he comes back down to earth. It's an incredible feeling.

"Coming?" Magnus asks louder this time, as he positions himself near Luke. There’s enough room for Alec to squeeze himself.

“Yeah,” Alec says, “I’m coming.” And he makes his way towards his family.

[couragehopelovefaith]

My review of Shadowhunters finale part 2

I have watched the finale for three times in a row now, and am loving it more and more. This is gonna be such a mess, because I am so emotional right now. *haha*

I guess It's easiest to start with Maia. Her actress said that because of her schedule stuff they had to shoot her scenes very fast, but she did a great job. I am glad that they decided to have a couple of Saia-scenes as friends and Simon being there in the Jordan’s memorial. I am also glad that she eventually decided to go and meet her parents and solve their issues. The romance between her and the guy whose name I don’t right now remember seemed a little rushed, but we have to remember that in their world it has been a year. Tell me if I am wrong, but isn’t that guy who was turned accidentally and who Simon and Maia helped back on season 2? I am grateful that they gave Maia that restaurant - and a happy ending. (Plus that little detail that she named a dish after Clary… </3 )

Ding dong, the witches (or should I say bitches) are dead. Let me start by saying that I love the showdown between Magnus and Lilith. It really shows that Magnus can use his sassiness and dark side without letting it consume him too much. She knows what to say to get under Magnus’ skin (the words about his friends), but he has gone through too much manipulation to let Lilith control him or anyone else. After the fact that Lilith is the reason Simon got his mark and that caused so much trouble, it's really fitting that the heavenly fire inside Izzy was the thing that got her killed. A part of me is kind of sad that we never saw Kain again - after all, she promised to get his brother back for his help against the others, right?

If you think about it, the quiet ones are always the worst in the cases like this? And I am referring to the Seelie Queen. You could never be sure, which side she was on. She is almost always in her realm, giving orders without actually intefering, but is still - sorry, was - the huge part of everything (making deals with Valentine, wanting to kill Jonathan and Clary…). I was actually kind of freaked about this weird obsession she had on Jonathan. Jonathan just couldn’t have one healthy relationship, could he? I am really glad that the actress who portrayed the youngest version of her was able to come back, even for this short second. Without actually seeing her face but only hearing her voice when she’s dying actually makes it worse and more chilling. I am actually really relieved and happy that Meliorn left her side and reconnected with Shadowhunters. Despite he did such a questionable things sometimes, I never saw him as a bad guy. His humor and sassy was always refreshing and he and Jace made a really good pair. Did he eventually survive, though? I didn’t catch that. 

When it comes to Jonathan... his transformation was well done and actually made me, once again, feel sorry for him. I am kind of glad that they showed him being completely dark for a moment. There were all these little details: his hair being turned out to blond since he no longer wanted to impress Clary or express their connection and he thought that all the hope of getting his sister back was gone - and that the red one returned when all the darkness had been sucked out of him. Like I said earlier, I loved their goodbye-scene and that they were alone there without any other people influencing the situation. I partly hoped that they would have shown us that dream they shared, or the moments of “what could have been” if their parents hadn’t messed things up - like in the books. But otherwise, beautiful job. Hats off for Luke for his awesome performance. 

Aline and Helen ending up together belongs to the “lovely, but wanted more”-section. Their chemistry is undeniable and they deserve to be happy. I can really imagine their wedding. Would someone be interested in writing a fanfic about that? I would be delighted to read that! Plus, I was glad that Helen was the one helping Izzy with the heavenly fire. 

Lorenzo and Underhill...was not something I expected, but - even to my own surprise - I like it. I wasn’t sure if they could redeem Lorenzo in such a short time, but they really did. The fact, that he, despite his jealousy and pride, eventually agreed to help the others with Magnus and guided Alec with his magic (while still partly being his shallow self) was beautiful. I want to give the special thumbs up for his discussion with Magnus. A need for a family is strong for human nature and he is not an exception. Yes, family is not always about the blood or biology, but it can be made. I mean… look at how moved he looks at the Malec’ wedding and how he dances with Madzie! Now that he’s redeemed, I would have wanted to know more about his earlier lover, that he mentioned about. However, when things are how they are...great ending for him.

I am really happy for Luke - and the fact that Preator did not turn out to be as bad as I previously thought they would. It’s kind of pity that he and Maryse did not get the last proper scene together (same with Luke and Maia), but they are obviously endgame. Come on, Maryse, did you really think that your own family wouldn’t notice such a clear chemistry? ;) The thought of these two travelling around Brazilia… yes, please! I have also loved the scenes between him and Alec, so them working together as equals is really heart-warming to see.

Even though he was a douchebag, I even enjoyed seeing Robert’s return and am really satisfied that all of them can be adults when it comes to that. Ooh, our baby boy Max has grown so much! <3 As horrifying as it was to see Max so close to evil Jonathan, it was great to see him fight back after what Jonathan did to him. In addition, Max calling Magnus his brother was something I never knew I needed.

Probably, it might be wise to stop this one here and share the last ones in the two parts. Thank you for reading these, it would be nice to hear your opinions as well. 

[ketzwrites]

Rewatch 106: Of Men and Angels

Not a lot of action in this episode aside from the blue flashbacks, but it is still a good one. The focus is on the family dynamics and I dig it. 

Teaser

lol Magnus asks what happened to Luke and neither Simon nor Clary gives him the right answer. Luke challenged the alpha. He wasn’t “attacked” and we can see that he needs a warlock’s healing magic. Good thing Magnus arrives at the right conclusion on his own.

I don’t understand if Luke’s hallucination is a figment of his imagination or if it is a magical link to Jocelyn. All I got was that they are dressed as their younger Circle Member selves.

Act One

Sure, the Seelies want to be on the winning side, but this argument doesn’t work when the “winning side” wants them all dead. Also, Maryse was such a bitch.

Clary feeling guilty for doubting Luke is a great moment. So is Magnus hijacking Luke’s healing process to ask for Alec to come and see him. Smooth.

Alec thinks Maryse is on edge, Izzy thinks she’s acting as she usually does. We know Maryse is worried because the Lightwoods might lose the Institute. Supposedly, Alec is right but it’s interesting that Izzy doesn’t perceive a difference in treatment: it speaks a lot to her relationship with Maryse. Same thing with how Robert is affectionate with Izzy but goes straight to business with Alec. These parents clearly have favorites.

This suit and shirt make Max look like the rich kid that thinks he’s better than the other kids at the playground. I know kid-actors aren’t usually great, but this is the wrong fit for Max even physically speaking. Emeraude and Matthew look like siblings and they look like they could’ve been Nicola and Paulino’s children. Blonde, round-faced Jack Fulton? Not so much.  

Jace changing “virgin” to “powerful” is hilarious to me.

The issue between Alec and Jace is quite interesting. On one hand, Jace is arguably breaking the rules to do the right thing: he’s helping Clary to get her mother back, he’s interfering in Downworlder business to save Luke’s life. However, Jace has and is able to get away with rogue behavior: in a few episodes we will see Maryse saying that Jace’s methods might be unconventional, but he gets things done. Alec is in a different position. He doesn’t get a pass; in fact, his superiors (who are also his parents) expect and order him to follow the rules. And it is only because Alec follows the rules and bears that responsibility that Jace (and Izzy) get to be the wild younger children. Jace deciding to go rogue is one thing, Alec deciding to go rogue is another.

I really like the uncle/niece dynamic between Magnus and Clary. He praises her a little too much, as previously discussed, but I guess Clary is one of the few people Magnus watched grow up. I’ll resign myself to him doting on her a little.

This macho-dispute between Jace and Simon is making me roll my eyes. You both fancy Clary, get over it. Luke is literally dying, so if you care about her, hurry up and help save Clary’s father-figure.

Simon pseudo-defends Alec while arguing with Jace and that makes me wonder how a friendship between Simon and Alec could’ve been had they bonded even a little in the last episode. That said, Jace freaks out again when Simons rubs salt on the wound: Jace and Alec’s friendship is strained and Jace loses it.

Act Two

I still love this scene between Alec and Maryse so much.

Honestly, the whole dynamic between Magnus and Clary is great. But the still “Bring it, Warlock” ruins it. Clary is about to learn how her beloved mother was a founding member of a blood supremacy group that preyed on warlocks like Magnus. Had Clary realize how racist she sounded and apologized by the end of the explanation, it would’ve been one thing. As is, the line is as tone-deaf as they come.

Kat looks nothing like the actress playing young Jocelyn. That’s a casting mistake because people literally take Clary for Jocelyn when they first see her. They should’ve chosen an actress that resembled Kat or let Kat herself play the part.

And now we get a parallel scene with Izzy and Robert. I dig the Lightwood family so freaking much.

The Clave is doubting the Lightwood command of the New York Institute because of the unauthorized missions Alec sanctioned. Which started after the Clave’s orders to keep Clary in the Institute back in 102. Let’s count those rogue missions, shall we? 1. searching for Dot at Pandemonium; 2. going to the City of Bones; 3. attacking the DuMort; 4. (arguably) meeting with Magnus Bane; 5. searching for J.C.’s box at the Fray’s loft. That’s about five missions (the Magnus Bane one might have been authorized since Hodge knew about it) that Alec sanctioned without the Clave’s approval in the span of about four days. No wonder the Lightwoods are losing the command of the Institute.

Act Three

Okay, Magnus. Sure, if it wasn’t for Jocelyn and Luke, Valentine would’ve taken the Mortal Cup. But if it wasn’t for them, the Circle wouldn’t exist either. One thing doesn’t cancel the other. They have Downworlder blood in their hands and Clary is right to be upset.

Alec’s motivation to go and help Magnus is reaching his breaking point. He’s about to lose the last thing he had, his private life. At this point, he doesn’t care anymore what the consequences of his disobedience will be. He already lost it all.

OMG JACE AND SIMON STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE STUFF MAGNUS NEEDS. IT’S BEEN HALF AN EPISODE. THIS IS PISSING ME OFF.

Act Four

Sorry for the outburst. Anyway, how convenient are Simon’s hallucinations? Always when he’s alone.

Gay Love saved Luke.

It’s interesting how medieval the Shadowhunter culture is. More interesting still is how Izzy didn’t seem to understand that until now. She behaved like the wild child her whole life without realizing there would be consequences? Unfair consequences, but still. I guess Izzy is smart, but not wise.

Some Alec and Clary bonding. Noice. Another superficial making up for the Parabatais. Not so noice. I wonder why Alec doesn’t tell Jace about his impending marriage. Still, Jace is so emotionally dysfunctional he can’t even bring himself to articulate an apology to Simon for putting a blade to his neck, so the young men in this show aren’t exactly great communicators among themselves.

Maryse is so close to telling Izzy about her past in the Circle. Well, of course, she won’t, but she does tell Izzy about how she was wrong for thinking that she could “change the world by breaking the rules.” Only, Maryse’s rule-breaking meant killing innocents. Izzy’s rule-breaking means self-expression and sexual autonomy. There is an important distinction to be made there.

Wait. Is Luke implying that experimenting with Downworlder blood is what turned Valentine into a monster?

Act Five

Oh, yes. It’s the blood injections that made Valentine mad. Not his ideologies, not his jealousy, not his twisted principles. The Downworlder blood. This is bullshit.

I want to point out that Luke (and presumably Jocelyn) were still going on rogue missions to kill Downworlders with Valentine up until when Valentine set Luke up and left him to die. It’s important to me to point this out.

Act Six

While Izzy represses herself into the box her mother wants her in, Alec has that drink he postponed with Magnus. I dig this parallel a lot.

At the risk of losing my Malec card: Magnus’ iconic “you’ve unlocked something in me” line comes out of nowhere. He saw Alec twice: one time for a second or two, and another when they exchanged a few sentences and then Magnus proceeded to hit on Alec hard to little-to-none reaction from Alec. Then they talked on the phone. At this point, Magnus could, at most, feel attracted to Alec. Saying that Alec’s mere presence made Magnus think he’s ready for a serious relationship again is a little hard to believe. I prefer the “breakfast” 218 scene where both Alec and Magnus trust each other against their “better” judgment but also don’t want anyone to know they were nice to a shadowhunter/downworlder. There, I said it. Please don’t kick me out of the fandom. I still love them.

Luke is a little bit exalted, isn’t he? Kind of yelling. That’s a weird direction for the character.

Clary’s power of turning things into drawings was inherited from Jocelyn; they are not due to her pure angel blood. I need to remember that.

[octoberdecemberwrites-blog]

“I thought you said this was an 80's party…”

Alec grimaced, as he looked around Magnus’ now suspiciously-spacious loft. “Why are people dressed up like that?”

Alec was specifically referring to the several partygoers who danced in wild, wide circles, all dressed up in elegant corsets and powder-white wigs.

Although, the pulsing electronic music didn’t suit their conservative wear, with the dignified visual clashing with the unrefined aural. Alec quietly watched as sophisticated dresses and expensive three-piece suits were tested to their limits, as partiers spun in impossible time with the throbbing beat.

“It is an 80's party. I just left it up to the people to decide which century they liked best.” Magnus smiled up at Alec, before offering him a swift kiss on the cheek. “Unsurprisingly, it appears that immortal beings prefer the past to the present.”

“Yeah, but the 1980's was like a million years ago.” Isabelle tossed back her dyed blonde hair, while adjusting her over-sized men’s suit. “How could the 80's still be the present?”

“Izzy, my love, when you’ve lived a thousand years, the decades start to run together.” Magnus suddenly gave Isabelle a slight curtsy. “And my apologies for not greeting you properly, Ms. Madonna, my queen.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem, darling.” Isabelle grinned, as she put on an awful, British accent. “Now, where’s your alcohol? You know, vodka really helps me express myself.”

“It’s all laid out on the kitchen table. Catarina will help you find it.”

“Thank you, darling.” Isabelle eagerly made her way to the loft’s kitchen, seemingly stepping in time with the loud music’s rhythm.

“And what are you supposed to be, Alexander? You look like you’re still wearing your clothes from work…” Magnus frowned, as he scanned Alec’s outfit up and down.

“I’m the guy who’s letting his boyfriend throw a themed party in this loft on a weekday.” Alec grinned, as he bent down towards Magnus. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Thank you.” Magnus beamed up at Alec, before leaning forward into a soft kiss. “I’ll be sure that you know how truly thankful I am later tonight.”

“Or…we could just go to bed now…” Alec’s suggestion was followed by wrapping his arms around Magnus’ waist. “Just kick everybody out. They’ve been here for at least an hour, right? They’ve partied enough.”

“Alexander.” Magnus’ answer came out like a warning, even though he couldn’t stop a smirk from appearing on his face. “Come on. Don’t be so rude. Go say hello to Catarina for me. I believe Ragnor may be somewhere around here, too, probably reading a bland book in one of these corners…”

Alec wanted to respond to Magnus, but his thoughts were cut short by a rough pat on his back.

“Alec! Magnus! Party!” Jace’s words were slightly slurred, as he winked over at Magnus. “But I bet you two are gonna’ party in private, yeah?”

“Jaceeee. You can’t just…you can’t just ask…” Maia stumbled over her phrasing, while soon appearing at Jace’s side. “Holy shit. I’m so drunk. Oh my God.”

“What the hell? You two just got here? How are you already—”

“PREGAMING BITCH!” Jace screamed right in Alec’s face, before carelessly waving his arms back and forth. “Hunter’s Moon! $1 Tequila shots!”

“Tequila! Tequila! Tequila!” Maia noisily chanted, as she leaned towards Jace’s chest—

And instinctively, Jace held her close, close enough to press a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“You two are made for each other.” Alec’s voice was thoroughly stoic.

“Thank youuuuu.” Maia’s reply was warm and sweet…

And Magnus reached out to tenderly pat Maia’s shoulder. “Would you like to lie down? There’s plenty of room on the sofa.”

“Yes. Yeah. We’ll take that deal. Fuck yeah.” Jace began to move towards the sofa on the other side of the room, with Maia holding onto his side. “Come on, princess.”

“Don’t…don’t call me princess…that’s so lame…” Maia groaned, as she fully put her weight onto Jace, now letting him carry her in his arms.

Alec watched as his drunken parabatai somehow carried Maia as if it was the easiest thing in the world, managing to not trip over his feet even once—

But Alec’s attention was soon drawn to Simon, who now stood in front of Magnus.

Alec was a little taken aback by Simon’s outfit, not used to seeing him all dressed up in an open beige vest, with a perfectly matching beige hat atop his head and a faux whip thrown over his shoulder.

“You remind of the babe…” Simon’s smile went wide, as he excitedly clapped. “You’re supposed to be Bowie from Labyrinth, right? I freakin’ love that movie, dude!”

Magnus spun around a few times, happy to show off his costume. “I met Bowie in London back in the 70s, wearing this exact outfit. Imagine my surprise seeing it on film! I think he wore it pretty well, though...but I’m still not sure he wore it quite as well as me.”

“No one could wear anything quite as well as you, Magnus Bane.” Clary smirked, while pulling Magnus into a tight embrace. “Awesome party, by the way.”

“Thank you, Ms. Lauper.” Magnus idly ran his fingers through Clary’s cotton candy pink wig. “I’m happy you made it! Alexander told me that you’d been locked up in your room, working on a new rune or two.”

“Hey, I would never miss one of your parties, Magnus.” Clary stepped away from their hug, as she reached for Simon’s hand. “Besides, girls just wanna’ have fun.”

“G-irls! Just w-anna’ h-av-e f-un!” Simon sung the next line of the song, as he nodded along to music that wasn’t actually playing. “Okay. I’m gonna’ go whip us up a drink or something. Awesome party, Magnus!”

Once Simon and Clary were out of earshot, Alec moved closer to Magnus’ side. “Magnus, what’s Labyrinth? I thought you were just wearing something from your closet.”

“Alexander, weren’t you listening? I am wearing something from my closet! Bowie stole that look from me!” Magnus whined, before taking in a deep breath. “But no matter. I have the film, somewhere. We can watch it on one of your days off.”

“Honestly, Magnus, I could just watch it right now...just sneak to the back and let you enjoy your party. You know this isn’t really my scene—”

“KARAOKE TIME!” Jace was shouting again, but Alec couldn’t place where his voice was even coming from. “First up! Magnussssss Baneeeee!”

“Fun!” Magnus clasped his hands together, as he looked up at Alec. “Sing a song with me, Alexander? Please?”

Alec blanched at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of what seemed like the entirety of the New York Downworld.

He wanted to say no, and the more seconds that passed, the more sure he was of his answer—

But then he looked back down at Magnus…

The warlock’s eyes were all adorable and pleading, with obvious hesitation etched into his expression—

Because Magnus was worried that Alec wouldn’t say yes—

And Alec’s heart twisted at the thought of letting Magnus down, especially when it came to such a harmless request. “Yes. I’ll sing with you, but just one song, okay?”

“Okay.” Magnus snapped his fingers, calling for blue sparks to appear in his palms. “Just one song.”

Another snap of his magic, and two mics appeared, one in each of Magnus’ hands. He gave one of the mics to Alec, as blue sparks swirled upward towards the loft’s ceiling—

And the song immediately shifted into something that sounded incredibly loud—

And incredibly cheesy.

“I don’t know this song—” Before Alec could even finish his sentence, a lyric sheet appeared between his fingers. He scrunched up his face as he tried to read the words in time with the grossly upbeat rhythm. “Uh… ♪ Lookin' in your eyes, I see a paradise ♪ This world that I've found is too good to be true ♪ Standin' here beside ya, want so much to give you ♪ This love in my heart that I'm feelin' for you…”

Magnus calmly cleared his throat, before moving his mic towards his mouth. “♪ Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that ♪ Put your hand in my hand, baby, don't ever look back ♪ Let the world around us just fall apart ♪ Baby, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart…”

Magnus then suddenly grabbed onto Alec’s mic, and offered it to a passerby on the dance-floor. They excitedly took the mic and began to belt out the chorus—

And soon, Magnus gave his own mic away to another passing partier.

He then turned back towards Alec, barely able to contain his growing smirk. “Oh, Alexander. You sang for me.”

“Well, I tried to sing for you. I’m not really that great—”

Magnus stopped Alec’s self-critique with a lingering kiss on his lips. “Shh. You did beautifully…although, your pitch could use a little work.”

“I thought you just said I did beautifully—”

“You did! You have the voice of an angel, Alexander…” Magnus nuzzled his face into Alec’s chest. “But you have the pitch of a Shax demon.”

Alec laughed as he held Magnus even closer, letting his hands rest on Magnus’ sides. “You’re completely ridiculous.”

“And yet, you still find a way to love me.”

“Always and forever—” Alec’s declaration of love was broken off by a mic directly hitting him in the neck. “What the fuck? Ow! What the fuck?”

“Alec! You’re on verse 3!” Jace screamed from across the room, as he now stood on top of the living room table. “Simon! Verse 2!”

Simon held up a glass of what looked like wine, but what was probably blood, as he nodded over towards Jace.

“Magnus! Can you do your…thing?” Jace proceeded to enthusiastically wave his hands around, obviously imitating Magnus’ magical moves. “I’m not a big fan of the 80s. You ever heard of Migos?”

“Of course. Just because I’m ancient, doesn’t mean I live under a rock.” Magnus’ magic swirled once again towards the ceiling—

And soon, a strangely catchy beat that was emphasized by whistles and…a human making dog sounds?

Carried through the air.

“♪ Dance with my dogs in the nighttime! ♪” Jace confidently yelled into his microphone. “♪ Trap n—”

“Oh my God, Jace, if you say the N word, if you fucking say the N word—” Maia was already shaking her head in disappointment, as she sat up on the sofa behind him.

“What? I wasn’t gonna’ say it! I was gonna’ say Nephilim.” Jace scoffed, as he held the mic to his chest. “Do you really think I’d do something like that, babe?”

“Yes.”

“Maia, no. I would never disrespect you like that! I like…love you, my little wolf baby.”

“Jace. You’re drunk.”

“Yes! I’m very fucking drunk!” Jace brought the mic back to his lips. “And I’m very fucking in love with you!”

“Shut up! Stop screaming!” Maia wobbled as she rose to her feet, and she eventually stood on the table in front of Jace. ���I love you, too…even though you’re the most annoying man in the world.”

“Not as annoying as Simon.” Jace casually suggested, before chuckling directly into the mic.

“What the fuck, Jace?! I thought we were cool.” Simon gave Jace a pained expression—

And Jace then looked down at the mic in his hands. “Oh. Sorry, man. I…uh…I thought the mic was off.” Jace nonchalantly shrugged, as he placed the mic down by his feet.

Clary then reached for the mic, as she pulled Isabelle closer to her side. “Ooh! Izzy! Let’s do a Madonna song!”

“Magnus, do you know ‘Dress You Up’?” Isabelle politely asked, as she leaned into Clary’s mic.

“Do I know it? I co-wrote it! Of course, I was only given ghostwriter credits, so you won’t see my name anywhere on the album, but the lyrics? All mine.” Magnus smiled, as he soon sent the opening notes of Madonna’s hit song through the loft.

“♪ You've got style ♪ That's what all the girls say ♪ Satin sheets And luxuries so fine… ♪” Clary perfectly belted out the line, keeping her eyes on Simon as she sang. “♪ All your suits are custom made in London ♪ I've got something that you'll really like… ♪”

“♪ Gonna’ dress you up in my love ♪ All over, all over…♪” Isabelle joined Clary in the chorus, taking the mic into her hands. “♪ Gonna’ dress you up in my love ♪ All over your body! ♪ ”

“Are they…are they both singing to Simon?” Magnus whispered his question up at Alec. “What’s that all about?”

Alec shook his head in confusion, before letting out a shallow sigh. “Don’t know. Don’t care. My main focuses are The New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Everything else is just background noise.”

“Your sister is either in an unfortunate love triangle or a loving, trusting poly-amorous relationship…and you consider that background noise?” Magnus lightly laughed, letting his fingers splay across his chest. “I hope I’m truly not that distracting.”

“Not distracting. Just more deserving of my attention.” Alec smiled—

And Magnus happily smiled right back. He then reached for Alec’s hand, as he shuffled towards the middle of the living room. “Dance with me, Alexander.”

“I don’t really…uh…” Alec hemmed and hawed, as Clary and Isabelle harmonized through another verse. “Maybe I could just watch?”

“Okay.” Magnus subtly nodded, as he twirled in front of Alec. “You can just watch.”

Every swing of Magnus’ steps were both effortless and so very thoughtful. His moves matched the pace of the music, and as he expertly, ecstatically rolled his hips, Alec felt like he caught a glimpse of a different side of Magnus, one entirely unconcerned with the affairs of the Downworld, completely removed from the day to day of his warlock responsibilities—

And Magnus, in all of his fitted freedom, had never been quite so beautiful.

“I love you…” The words came out as a murmur, as Alec’s eyes were still transfixed by Magnus dancing in his line of sight.

“I love you, too.” Magnus returned the sentiment without a second thought, still focused on staying in the groove. “Ooh. After this, I’ll try to get Ragnor to sing ‘Wang Chung Tonight’. He hates that song. But he loves it when he’s drunk—”

Alec’s sudden kiss cut off Magnus’ thoughts, as Alec rested his hands on Magnus’ waist. He chose to deepen the kiss even more, letting his tongue momentarily explore Magnus’ mouth.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Alec broke away from Magnus, just long enough to catch his breath.

“Alexander…” There was a blush creeping across Magnus’ expression. “Are you feeling alright? You’re being a bit more…publicly amorous…than usual.”

“You’re just…so incredible…when you’re…happy.” Alec nearly stuttered, before he let out a shallow sigh. “And I just love you. I love seeing you so…happy.”

Magnus leaned forward, as he let his palms softly find their place on Alec’s shoulders. “Then you should know that nothing in the world makes me happier than being with you.”

In that moment, Alec could feel an invisible weight threatening to press down on his shoulders—

Threatening to bring him to his knees—

Something in him suddenly and desperately wanted to propose to Magnus Bane.

Right here. Right now.

And it wasn’t as if Alec was totally unprepared. He’d been waiting for the perfect time for weeks, already having purchased the ring and currently carrying it in his jacket pocket.

“Magnus…” Alec’s knees felt so strange and unbalanced, as he slightly began to move towards the ground. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you—”

“Wang Chung!” Ragnor came up behind Magnus, playfully nudging his friend in the back. “Play ‘Wang Chung’ next!”

“Ah, old friend! I thought you would never ask.” Magnus spun towards Ragnor, his blue magic already shining in his hands—

But Magnus then quickly turned back towards Alec, with a puzzled look on his face. “Wait. Alexander. Didn’t you want to ask me something, as well?”

“It can wait.”

“Are you certain—”

“It can wait, Magnus. I promise.” Alec bent to give Magnus a hasty kiss on the cheek. “Go. Sing drunk karaoke with your friends. Have fun.”

“I’ll be right back in a few minutes.” Magnus beamed up at Alec—

Before he intertwined his arm with Ragnor’s, soon magicking a mic in each of their respective hands. “Come on, Ragnor. It’s time to show these people what one and ½ inebriated warlocks can do.”

Alec smiled to himself, as he watched his boyfriend confidently climb on top of the living room table, with Ragnor still in tow.

The resultant song that soon blared from the loft’s ceiling made Alec’s skin absolutely crawl—

And he inwardly decided that he’d had enough of the party for now.

He wordlessly headed for his bedroom—

And made sure that the door was locked, tight.

**********************************************

Alec woke up with Magnus curled against his chest…

He’d felt his warlock slip into their bed, sometime around 5AM or so.

The clock near the bedside dresser blinked out 8AM—

And Alec turned away from it, instead choosing to tenderly runs his fingers alongside Magnus’ spine.

Magnus grunted at the touch, burying his face even further into Alec’s skin. “Alexander. Stop. I’m barely awake. I’m barely alive.”

“I have to go into work soon. I just wanted to say goodbye before I—”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” Magnus groaned through his statement with finality. “You have to stay. What if I need to throw up?”

“Magnus, you’re a warlock. Can’t you just…magic your way through a hangover?”

“I couldddd.” Magnus groaned again. “But what if I wanted my boyfriend to take care of me?”

“Oh. Well, in that case, I guess I would have to stay, wouldn’t I?”

“Mmhmm.” Magnus nodded against Alec’s warm skin. “You would have to stay the whole day…and then…stay for the rest of your life…and we were already halfway there…last night…”

“Already halfway there?” Alec prodded, as he slightly shifted under Magnus’ frame. “What are you talking about?”

“You…you were going to ask me to marry you…Weren’t you?” Magnus stayed in the exact same position, his voice not wavering for a moment. “Before Ragnor and I sang that wondrous duet…or maybe I was already drunk…maybe you have no intention of marrying me at all—”

“Yes, Magnus. I was going to ask you to marry me.”

“Askkkkk. Ask. Ask.” Magnus pleaded, now raising his face so he could look Alec in the eye. “Please?”

“Okay…” Alec steadied his breathing, as he stared down at Magnus. “Magnus Bane, will you marry—”

“No! Not like that!” Magnus firmly shook his head, before resting it once again on Alec’s chest. “Ask when I’m…sober. And maybe not in the middle of a party. Maybe something nice and sweet. Like at dinner with your family.”

“Are you trying to give me instructions on when I can ask you to marry me?”

“Yes. No. Be spontaneous! But also, not so spontaneous. Whatever you decide will be perfect.” Magnus nodded into Alec’s chest.

“This seems like the karaoke thing all over again.” Alec softly chuckled under his breath. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out.”

By the time Alec finished his sentence, Magnus had already fallen back asleep…

And so, Alec reached for his phone, swiftly dialing Isabelle’s cell number.

She picked up on the third ring, as she groggily sighed right into the phone. “Hello? Alec? What the fuck? It’s so early.”

“It’s not that early. You’re just hungover.” Alec shook his head, even though Isabelle couldn’t see the movement. “But I do have a question…uh…How do I pop the question?”

“To who? Magnus?”

“Yes, Izzy, oh my God. Who else would I even be—” Alec stopped his own words, realizing that his sister’s response was most likely due to her just waking up. “Yes. Magnus. My boyfriend. Yes.”

“Uh…you should just….brrrrrgoooooooo…”

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about, Alec. You just…um…pffbttttt. And then, congrats! You just made a baby.” Isabelle’s tone was self-assured—

And Alec brought a hand to his face in frustration. “Did you drink Seelie liquor last night?”

“Maybeeee.” Isabelle giggled into the line, before snorting with a laugh. “Hey, can you put Magnus on the phone? I wanna’ ask him about Bowie.”

“Bowie was amazing.” Magnus somehow replied to Isabelle’s question, even though Alec’s phone wasn’t on speaker. “And Izzy, if you got into the Seelie liquor, you’ll need to sleep it off for about three days, my love.”

“Freetooppppppp! Freevornnnnn.” Isabelle wistfully sighed, before suddenly clicking her teeth. “Okay. I’m going back to bed. I’ll see you on Mars, big bro.”

“See you on Mars, Izzy.” Alec hung up the phone, as he peered back down at Magnus. “And I thought you were asleep—”

Magnus was once again already deeply asleep, with his back quietly rising and falling…

“You are the oddest, most magical creature in the entire universe.” Alec’s voice was lined with awe, while he kept his eyes on Magnus’ frame. “And one day, you’ll be all mine.”

“Already yours. You just need to sign the receipt.” Magnus’ reply was low, before he was seemingly knocked out for good.

“Mmhmm. Just need to sign the receipt…” Alec smirked, as his own eyes came to a gentle close. “Can’t wait.”

[onceuponavideo]

I’m falling (Clizzy)

TW : blood, pain, fall from a roof

Read on ao3

« I am going to die »

That was the only single coherent thought she could have right after the fall. She was agonizing alone, crashed into a car and she was dying.

She was so stupid, why did she go alone ? She could ask for help, Magnus and Luke went after Ollie who was freshly possessed but her fellow colleagues were in the Hunter’s Moon, all she had to do was to phone one of them. But she didn't want to lose time, Jace was already disappearing in the dark alleyways and someone had to stop him. Maybe he wasn't himself but he still was her friend and he needed help. So she followed him with the will to bring him back to reality. She found him on the roof and before she could say something, he attacked her. Having no other choice, she fought back, trying not to badly hurt him. Jace wasn't in the same state of mind and she could see the desire to kill in his eyes. She improved a lot and was nearly winning this hand-to-hand combat but Jace knew her weaknesses by heart. He disarmed Clary then grabbed her by the throat and forced her to go backwards, leading her dangerously to the edge of the roof.

« J-Jace ! » He was choking her so she couldn't breathe well « Jace don't ! It's me... Clary... Y-You don't want to do t-this... »

With a wicked smile stretched accross his mouth, Jace started to laugh.

« Really ? I don't ? »

A sudden fear made her feel sick. Jace looked so crazy, like he lost his mind and it was indeed the case. He roughly pushed her and she lost her balance. She didn't realize she was falling, she was too shocked for that. The fall was so long, it was a weird sensation but she didn't scream. For a moment she believed she was only dreaming. And then she hit that car. And the reality came back at her.

She had this awful taste of blood in her mouth while her lungs were simply burning. And the pain. Oh by the Angel, the pain... It was so intense she couldn't even cry and breathing was so difficult.

She tried to move but nothing happened and then she realized she wasn't able to ask for help because she had a lump on her throat. But who would have heard her anyway ? There was no one, only her and this oppressive silence. She hated the silence, that's why she always put on her headphones when she was drawing. Because she associated silence with loneliness. And at this moment she was really alone. No one could help her. They all were at the Hunter’s Moon, drinking and playing, having fun when she desperately needed someone.

She was really going to die.

With resignation, Clary closed her eyes and hoped that the pain will stop quickly, she already suffered enough.

And then she heard it. A voice. At the beginning she thought she was just hallucinating but someone called her a second time.

“ Clary ? Clary where are you ? ”

Isabelle. Izzy. She was looking for her. Maybe Magnus phoned her and asked to see if everything was okay ? Or maybe it was Luke ?

“ Clary you're here ?”

Yes I'm here !! She wanted to scream but she couldn't make any sound and it was so frustrating, especially when Izzy was so close to her. She felt a spike in adrenaline and she kicked the car with her right foot to make some noice. The pain ran all over her body and she let out a muffled whimpering. She hated herself so much, why did she do that ? It didn't even work, it was too faint.

She had angel blood running through her veins, she could create powerful runes that no one ever used before but in some circumstances she stayed desperately human. She didn't feel that powerless since a really long time.

All the hopes she had slowy faded away and when she thought it was finally over, Isabelle found her. Clary got dizzy and she knew it was only a matter of time before she collapsed. But Izzy was here so she wasn't scared anymore. She couldn't speak but she seemed appeased and this suffocating tension left her body. Isabelle looked clearly less calm and the more she stared at Clary the more she was worried. She couldn't stop analyzing how bad the situation was and the pallor of Clary's skin wasn't helping. She was seriously injured, she needed help and the healing rune won't be enough. Izzy wanted to grab her phone to call Magnus but she missed an heartbeat when Clary closed her eyelids.

“ Stay with me, I'm begging you, stay with me.” She said, beseeching while changing her mind and deciding to use the iratze.

Clary was really willing to obey but she was to weak to resist. She just felt the coldness of Isabelle's stele before being surrounded by darkness.

*****

Why the room was pitching like that ? Clary was just emerging from some confusing and irrational dreams but she wished she could stayed unconscious a little longer. She felt like someone put her in a blender and it was awful. Then she remembered what happened and her atypical awakening made more sense. She tried to stretch herself and let out a strange noise which didn't sound like a human one.

“ Oh by the Angel you're finally awake !”

Izzy's voice helped Clary to decide to finally open her eyes and she really enjoyed the view. She was in her room at the Institute and Isabelle was next to her, having installed a chair close to the bed. Clary couldn't help but smile like an idiot because Isabelle was just beautiful and breathtaking as always. She had her hair twisted in a bun and she was still wearing her short black dress because she didn't take the time to choose something more comfortable. She had a look of concern on her face and she gently brushed a loose strand of Clary's hair behind her ear. Clary smiled all the more, it was a really pleasant awakening after all.

“ How do you feel ?” Izzy asked, sincerely worried and Clary winced.

“Nauseous...” She admitted and Isabelle turned to take something behind her.

“Here.” She handed a glass of water “ It's probably a side effect of the magic Magnus used on you”

Clary thanked her and drank, hoping it will make her feel better. Izzy was still looking at her, just to make sure she won't faint again.

“ Maybe you're hungry too ? Do you need something ?”

“ I'm good. You said Magnus healed me ?”

Izzy nodded and she pointed the door.

“ He left because you needed some rest but he's at the Institute, probably with Alec and the others”

Clary raised an eyebrow.

“ The others ? Who ?”

“ You know, Simon, Luke, Maia... They all came when they knew what happened to you. And also they wanted to help with that Owl thing...”

Clary observed Izzy more attentively and she noticed some traces of dry mascara on her cheeks, like there were tears before. She wrinkled her eyebrows, a little confused and she answered :

“ You cried ? Why ?”

Izzy had a nervous smile.

“ You stopped breathing... I thought...”

Oh.

For a moment, Clary felt really bad. Without thinking, she grabbed Izzy's wrists and she drew circles in the palm of her hands. She tried to put herself in her position, what would she have done if she found Isabelle, badly hurt ? She would probably freak out too. She couldn't imagine a life without her and so did Izzy.

“ I'm sorry...” Clary whispered, sincerely apologizing.

“ Don't do that again.” Izzy said, patting Clary's nose like she was grounding a child. She pretended to be mad but she couldn't hide how relieved she was.

“ Well...” Clary moved closer and wrapped her arms around Izzy's waist “ Don't leave me alone then.”

Izzy rolled her eyes and then gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.

“ You're driving me crazy, you know that ?”

Clary smiled innocently while playing with Izzy's gorgeous black hair, completely messing up her bun. Izzy didn't care anyway.

“ But that's why you love me.”

“ Unfortunately.”

Izzy allowed herself to steal Clary's lips for an instant and then she stepped back.

“ We need to see Alec “ She explained when Clary pouted.

“ Fine.” She sighed deeply in a really cute way but she surrendered. “Let's do this.”

And they walked down the Institute hand in hand.

[changhomin-hatsukoi]

MALEC (and some other Shadowhunters pairings/friendship) headcanon - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2 

Warning: Could contained SPOILER. Proceed with caution.

- Alec knows that almost no one - no matter if they are Downworlder or Shadowhunter or even mundane, no matter what their sexual orientation is.. no matter if they hate or likes him - could deny that Magnus is beautiful. Alec thinks so too~.. but more than that, Alec just thinks Magnus is really really the cutest thing ever existed. Don’t tell Magnus but sometimes when he tries to be sexy and seductive and coy, all Alec could think of is just how adorable his lover is: those bright eyes looking up at him..those pink lips pursing into a pout when Alec pretends he didn’t notice Magnus wants his attention..

- Sometimes Alec is the little spoon. Sometimes Magnus is the little spoon. Sometimes Alec wakes up and found he’d drooled all over Magnus chest. Sometimes Magnus wakes up to Alec hugging him to his chest so tight he could barely breathe. Sometimes the night was just too hot and there’ll be a considerable space in between their bodies. Whatever their position may end up in the morning though, one thing for sure: they almost always, with hands entwined in between them, fall asleep facing each other.

- It’s true that Simon thinks Luke as his unofficial dad. But he also knows that between him and Clary, Luke will always be more partial towards Clary. Simon is pretty sure that goes for Magnus as well (not to mentioned Magnus’s boyfriend hates Simon)... So why, Simon questioned himself, even knowing all that, he still found himself standing right outside the warlock’s door at 2 in the morning, soaking wet from the heavy rain outside and feeling so painfully lonely and hurt - 3 days after that Seelie Court visit. 

- Magnus opened the door just as Simon turned to leave, ushered him inside and without saying anything, just grabbed the young vampire into a big tight hug. 

- Simon was ashamed to admit it but he cried: snot and all. Tried to explained in jumbled of words but Magnus just shushed him and just hugged him tighter (Simon later found out that Jace had confided in Alec what happened at the Seelie Court and apparently #malec couple is one of those couples that share almost everything with their partner)

- Malec on Seelie Court incident after they heard what happened between Clary, Jace and Simon: 

“It was no one’s fault, obviously.. but.. still.. Simon deserves better.. That Queen~ she’s always such a...” *sigh* “If it was us and Jace.. and you were in Clary’s place.. what do you th..”

“It’ll be you.”

“..but you and him..”

“Magnus, Jace made me aware that I might be different. But you.. you are the reason I’m not ashamed of it, that I embraced it... that I’m thankful for it. 

So it’ll be you. No what or if about it. For me, it’ll always be you..”

- It truly was no one’s fault.. Just one of those shitty things that we called life. But if for the next few weeks Clary found her hair keeps getting tangled like bird’s nest no matter how many times she brushed it in a day or that Jace found no matter where he goes for patrol, there’ll be a duck popping out of nowhere and keeps stalking him, if all vampires (especially Raphael’s clan) is extra growly with both Jace and Clary, and if their drinks order keep getting mixed up - especially when it was Maia manning the bar... well, no one’s admitting to anything.

(they may have their differences and disagreements between races but when it comes to Shadowhunters, the Downworlders is a united front protecting their own from ‘em uppity Angels bullies)

- The first time they noticed Izzy been spending more and more time with Simon, Magnus asked Alec tentatively how does he feels about those two budding friendship-probably-gonna-be-more-if-Izzy’s-hungry looks-towards-Simon-to-be-believed.. Surprisingly, Alec said he has no problem with Izzy being with Simon... largely due to the fact that Alec knows full well that Izzy will be the one be in full control in that relationship~ ^^;;

- Magnus offered to take Alec away from everything: The Clave, The Institute, Shadow World itself~... All Alec needs to do is just say the word, and Magnus wouldn’t hesitate to quit the High Warlock post and spirit Alec away from all the stress and lies and judgement.. Just the two of them, off to explore the world twice over before retiring to any country of Alec’s liking. Alec just smiled, kissed Magnus and said that was a very nice offer but he has to say no.

- He didn’t want to even admit it to himself but what he truly meant was.. not yet. 

- Izzy is super protective of Simon and if she heard of any vampires/werewolves/shadowhunters bullying or even talking bad/down on Simon, she would literally hunt them down ad kick their ass. 

- Simon told her that he is a vampire and thus is very strong (not to mentioned has super speed) and could take care of himself. Izzy said if Simon could best her in a mock sparring, she would agree to tone down a bit.

...... Current score? Izzy: 12, Simon: 1 (Izzy had a cold that day and Simon got in a lucky foot sweep move)

- Luke misses her every day: her early morning smile, her funny faces in trying to make him laugh, her never ending failure in making edible omelette, her gentleness, her stubbornness, their warm days and hotter nights... When she’s gone, something inside him broke and hurts and his wolf mourned and howled to the moon goddess, begging to follow his heart to the Afterlife. 

He thought he would never feel again... he didn’t even want to. 

But...  life funny in the most unexpected way..

No matter how much you get kicked down,

no matter how hurt you are.. so hurt that you feel like dying.

When you think 'this is it'

When you promised yourself 'no more'.

The world still keeps turning.

You still going to find yourself living day after day after day

When your inside felt like something was carved out of them,

Look outside the window and see how nothing had change.

For what are we to the vast universe but a speck of dust - lost in the sands of time.

And so one day in the middle of laughing about some of the ridiculous silliest thing, Luke realized that the gaping wound in his heart is but just a distant throbbing.

He looks across to the (truly rare) sight of one Maryse Lightwood trying not to laugh out loud (gotta keep the stern image up, right~?) but is failing miserably, and thought.. ‘Ah~.. could it be...?’ 

- Magnus brought Alec to visit Indonesia. And though the place changed a lot since he was small (800 years old is a damn long time after all~ the site where his house once was, now has a huge shopping mall on it), they did visit the Candi Borobudur - the temple in which Magnus found the sanctuary in with the monks after the tragic incident with his parents. And as Alec walks silently among all those huge statues with Magnus besides him - chattering on about the history of the place; he imagines small, chubby-cheeked Magnus still in shock and traumatized by the suicide of his mother and the murder of his stepfather by his own tiny hands. Alec imagines how lonely and sad and terrified Magnus must’ve felt then, being among these strange stern-looking monks... unsure of his fate, unsure of even what he is.. He imagines all that, and pulls Magnus closer to him - as if to offer comfort to that little boy, long gone hundreds of years ago.. 

*********** XXXX************

A moment of silence for these lost #malec scenes that we should’ve got...

... yes. still bitter about these (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

Anyhoo~

I have plenty more (friendship/couple) hc on #jimon #climon #sizzy #saphael #parabatai #magnus/maryse #sebastian/magnus #luke/maryse #lightwoodfamily #magnus/clary and of course #malec.

[asflowersfade]

Scribble-Doodle: Six Months of Death

A mashup of TV and book spoilers. Jace gets dead. Clary asks Raziel to bring him back - too bad she doesn’t specify when exactly should this miracle take place. Or, Raziel is a petty bastard. A parabatai fic with hints of Malec/Clace

Jace doesn’t know what he expected when he knocked on the door of the Herondale mansion, but this definitely wasn’t it.

When Raziel finally fulfills his promise and brings him back, Jace snaps back into existence in the middle of Central Park. Not the most holy of places, certainly, but considering that just moments ago, he was dead, he’s not about to complain about where his resurrection took place. The timing, though, that could’ve been better.

Six months. That’s how long it took Raziel to move his angelic ass and fulfill Clary’s wish. To say that Raziel was not happy about being disturbed by mere mortals would be putting it mildly, and since Clary didn’t actually specify when she wanted Jace to be brought back, Raziel took his celestial time in a petty revenge. Angels and Seelies, not much difference between them, as Jace’s learned.

The first place he goes to is the New York Institute, of course, his home. And if he’s ever had doubts about people loving and missing him there? Not anymore. Their welcome’s almost overwhelming in its warmth and relief. Clary did tell them about Raziel and her wish and the angel’s promise but with each passing day and week and month the chances of Jace actually coming back became slimmer and slimmer, so his resurrection… yeah, a real miracle for his family and friends.

But it soon becomes apparent to Jace that he’s returned to a world much changed, to a world that has moved on without him while still waiting for him to come back. And he understands it, he really does, his loved ones couldn’t have just frozen their lives in place like flies trapped in amber. It still feels… odd, uncomfortable, that there are so many things now that he doesn’t know about.

Like the fact that Maryse got her position as the Head of the Insitute back. And that she divorced Robert. And that she’s now dating - do people of her age still date? - well, seeing Luke Garroway . Luke. Garroway. Not that they aren’t a good fit, mind you… it’s just, well, weird.

And Robert’s now the Inquisitor! The news of Imogen’s passing hit Jace really hard - she was his only living relative left, but it’s true that he didn’t know her all that well, though he hoped to change that - but he’s glad that it was Robert who was named in her place. His cheating aside, Robert’s a good man. And he’s living with his lover now, David Whatshisface. A guy! The Inquisitor’s bedding a man. Huh, the times really a-changing. And Jace was only gone for six months!

Izzy and Simon are now an item, too. And they’re just the oddest couple that Jace could imagine. But what the heck does he know, right? And because Simon’s apparently become the new leader of the New York vampire clan, everyone’s suddenly seeing Izzy’s dating a Downworlder as a “wise political choice.” Right. Angel’s foot!

Clary… Seeing Clary again is a like a punch in the gut. Still the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, her smile sets his heart all aflutter. She’s waited for him. And she tells him she would’ve waited for his return till her dying breath. He might’ve cried a little, not that he would ever admit that to anyone. But yeah, he did. Not even six months of death could make him stop loving her. He’s glad she feels the same.

She returned back to school, studying art. She apparently convinced the Clave it would help her with her rune making. Bull, really, but it got the Clave to back off and let her do her thing. She’s become entirely too proud of her ability to lie with a straight face to get what she wants. That’s his Clary!

And then there’s Alec… who’s not where he should be: not with Magnus, not at the Institute… not in Jace’s soul. Their bond’s gone, broken, torn. But Jace’ll get it back, if he has to pluck Raziel’s feathery appendages bald to force the bastard to make them whole again!

Jace knocks on the door of the Herondale mansion and waits, shifting from foot to foot impatiently. It takes almost a full minute for the door to open, and when it does, Jace’s breath catches in his throat. Alec…

Yes, Alec. After Imogen’s death, there were no more Herondales - Jace’s waiting-to-be-resurrected status didn’t count - so it was Alec who inherited the Herondale estate as Jace’s parabatai. And that’s where he retreated to when everything went to hell.

“Alec…” Jace whispers, seeing his parabatai for the first time in six months.

Alec stands there and just stares at Jace in utter incomprehension. And Jace’s heart aches for him. Six months has passed but Alec looks haggard, drained… damaged. He’s pale and unshaven - there’s silver in his hair; Angel, he’s twenty-three! - his shoulders are stooped and he’s dressed in sensible shoes and pants and a worn sweater that’s seen better days; no more combat boots and gear for him. He looks, well, nothing like Jace’s Alec. And yet, it’s him.

Blinking dazedly, Alec licks his lips several times before finally finding his voice. “Jace?” he croaks out with disbelief and despair and hope.

And Jace hugs him. He pulls Alec into his arms and he hangs onto him and he rocks him gently from side to side, till Alec’s frozen stance relaxes and his tense body becomes pliant and he melts into Jace’s embrace, gripping the back of his leather jacket tight in his fists. Yes, yes, Jace’s here, he’s truly here and they’re back together again.

But their bond’s still dead, the connection’s gone. And Jace wants to rage because he thought… he hoped that… he put everything on this one card, that once they get back together, once they touch… but no. There’s still only silence.

Jace wants to rage and scream - instead, he lets Alec make him coffee.

“So, what went wrong?” Jace asks quietly, stirring his coffee, entirely too black and too strong for anyone’s liking but his. Alec remembered.

Alec looks up from his own cup, cradled in his hands. They’re sitting in the kitchen of the Herondale mansion, a rustic affair. There’s no one but them in the house. Apparently, there hasn’t been anyone but Alec residing here ever since he moved in. Jace’s liking the state of things less and less by the minute.

“Is that a trick question?” Alec asks with narrowed eyes. “You died, Jace.”

Waving a hand, Jace responds. “Well, apart from that. You were the Head of the Institute, it was your dream. And you and Magnus were on your way to become the stuff of romantic legends. Now I find you here, hermitting away like a monk in the Middle Ages.” Jace rests his elbows on the table and leans closer. “Come on, Alec. Talk to me.”

Alec, who’s sitting on the other side of the table, turns his head to look out of the window; the sun’s setting outside. “Even before you... died, everything wasn’t perfect. Not remotely so and you know it.” He turns back. “Everything I’ve done since I became the Head of the Institute went wrong. Jonathan, Valentine, the Cabinet…” He shakes his head and smiles ruefully. “By the Angel, I had so many plans. It just shows how naive I was.”

Jace frowns. “Alec--”

But Alec interrupts him. “And then Max died. And the war began in earnest. And then y-you died. You were just gone, Jace,” he says, his face is full of desolation. “I’ve never known such a pain. And it went on and on and on. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. Magnus tried, Raziel knows he did. But it wasn’t just that - he’s the leader of his people, just like I was of mine, and that was putting even more stress on our relationship…”

He sighs and turns the cup in his hands. And then again. And again. “It became too much. I wasn’t handling your death - and Max’s death and all my failures - well and everyone was suffering because of it: Magnus, our family, our people. So I just” --he shrugs-- “left.”

“You gave up,” Jace points out and he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it at all. Impossible just means try again, that’s been always Alec’s motto.

Alec shrugs again. “Call it as you like. I was of no use to anyone in that state. I was making your death - and the fact that Raziel seemingly broke his word to bring you back - harder on everyone. I needed to put myself back together first, before I could even begin to be there for others. And since someone had to take care of Imogen’s estate” --he waves a hand around-- “I thought it was as good a reason as any to take a break.”

Jace lifts his eyebrows. “Take a break? So, this,” --now it’s his turn to wave a hand around-- “is not a permanent thing?”

Alec lifts one corner of his mouth. “Well, luckily, the new Head of the New York Institute is our mother, so I have a standing invitation to come back - even the Clave couldn’t say a thing against someone mourning the loss of his parabatai, especially since that person, that means me, inherited the Herondale estate!

“And Magnus…” This time, his smile’s more genuine but also much sadder. “He agreed that a break might do us some good. He’d seen in the past, what the loss of a parabatai could do to a Shadowhunter. He was very… understanding. Probably much more than I deserved.”

“Nonsense,”Jace dismisses his words. “You deserve the world.”

Alec’s smile widens and a little color returns to his pale face. He clears his throat. “And what about you?” he changes the subject. “We keep talking about me, but you were the one who died! Raziel. You were dead, Jace!”

Jace grimaces. “Tell me about it.” He blows out a breath and stares deeply into his cup for a while; the coffee’s gone cold. “I don’t remember much. I remember being stabbed and then waking up - in Central Park, of all places, would you believe that? Those are the two things I remember clearly. But the time in-between…”

“Yeah?” Alec prompts Jace when he falls silent again.

Thinking it over, Jace tries to explain, “I remember impressions. Warmth, love, safety… I think-I think I was with my mom and dad, Alec,” he says in a hushed tone, looking up at his parabatai. “My real mom and dad. And I was happy. I think... I wanted to stay. Over there. With them,” he admits reluctantly.

“Oh,” Alec whispers, dropping his eyes. His shoulders slump again.

“No!” Jace rushes to say and reaches out across the table to grip Alec’s wrist. “It’s not like that, Alec. I would never leave you, you’re my parabatai, I would never - you have to believe me!” he implores.

Alec warily looks up. His eyes are hooded. “Then why? Why wouldn’t you want to come back to us? To me?”

“Because I couldn’t - no. I didn’t think I could,” Jace corrects himself. “I thought that was it. I was dead. All there was left for me, was what comes after. Where I would wait for you. Where I met them. I was as happy as I could be - while you and Clary and all the others were over here and I was over there. Do you get that?”

Please, tell me you do, he thinks.

Grudgingly, Alec nods. “I guess. Besides... we aren’t parabatai anymore,” he reminds Jace quietly. “Our bond broke when you died.”

Jace grips Alec’s wrist even tighter. “Bull! You are my parabatai, bond or not! And I will figure out what went wrong. Raziel healed me, he healed everything, he brought me back as good as new. I will find out what went wrong with our bond and I will fix it, I swear, Alec!” He shakes Alec’s wrists to emphasize his words.

Alec stares at him searchingly for a long time, then he lets go of his cup with the hand that Jace’s gripping, and turns it palm up. They clasp hands and hold on tight.

“Alright,” Alec says softly. “Alright. I’m just glad you’re back. Even if we never get our bond back, I’m happy you’re here, with me. I just hope that--” He falls silent, then he swallows painfully. “I just hope you don’t regret coming back.”

Jace thinks about it, really thinks about it, hard. He wants to be perfectly sure of his answer, he doesn’t want his words to sound like empty platitudes. Does he regret coming back? Well, he misses his parents, true, the feeling of safety they gave him, but… No, he doesn’t regret coming back, returning to life, to Clary and his family - and his parabatai. Without Alec, he would forever be incomplete.

He smiles. “No, I don’t regret it. I’m exactly where I should be.”

And in that moment, just like that, their bond snaps back in place, flooding them both with the other’s emotions. The sensation’s so overwhelming that they gasp out loud, their eyes flying wide open, and they cling to each other so tightly their knuckles turn white.

Oh, Jace thinks in wonder, feeling the familiar throbbing in his chest, the most beautiful sensation in the world. So that’s all it took? This realization?

“Jace,” Alec whispers, amazed.

Jace grins wide. “Yeah,” he breathes out, lacing their fingers together. “Yeah…”

Now, now everything’s perfect, Jace thinks, before getting up to walk around the table and hug his parabatai, not letting go of him even for a second.

Thank you, Raziel. 

You’re still a petty bastard, though!

[magnuscaresalot]

prompt(if ur doin those?): magnus uses seraph blade in front of alec (+others? luke/simon/jace maybe??) and it's all Dramatic Reveal, blood red light spilling through the dark as he cuts thru a bunch of demons and alec is like "a lil scared/turned on, but mostly worried- babe u ok??" + like some insecurities and alec is a Good BF and gives him the love/affection he deserves. everyone who saw swears to keep it secret but prob asks ?s. ha imagine simon geeking out like "omg that was badass holy sh

( *KICKS OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR* DID I HEAR ANGEL BLOOD MAGNUS? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I’M HEARING!)

This wasn’t how Magnus thought it would be when he finally revealed his true heritage to Alec. Magnus imagined a lot more of a calm conversation with a lot of champagne and just the two of them in the loft as Magnus showed Alec his deep, darkest secret.

Not when they and the others were in battle against many demons.

Really, it wasn’t like Magnus had much of the choice. The demons were stronger than usual. All of them had put their all into trying to bring down this batch of demons. While the demons had become stronger, the themselves were organized unlike the sloppiness of hell’s creatures.

But one of them got the drop on Izzy, knocking her down and her seraph blade flying out of her hand.

The blade landed right right to Magnus’ feet when he noticed. Everyone else was too occupied with taking out the other demons to notice the one about to off Izzy. Without thinking, Magnus acted. He bent down, taking the blade in hand, and dashing towards Izzy.

It was such a blur to him.

A shout.

A gleam of red.

Ash as the demon was killed.

Magnus was heavily breathing, feeling the gazes of others on his back. Adrenaline dying down as he looked his hand in horror.

Alec and the others were stunned silent. In Magnus’ hand, Izzy’s seraph blade was glowing red. Magnus dropped it like it burned him, looking towards them with…fear? Insecurity? Sadness? Alec wasn’t able to get a read on his boyfriend’s expression.

“Magnus,” Alec slowly said, taking a step towards the warlock. Magnus took a step back. “Magnus?”

Magnus’ heart was beating quickly. He had to leave. Suddenly, the warlock turned and created a portal. Ignoring the shout of his name from Alec. Magnus went through and closed it right behind him.

Alec watch as Magnus went through the portal before he could do anything. Alec wanted to run to the loft, where Magnus most likely went to, but at the same time, he didn’t want to leave the others to this mess.

“Alec,” Jace said, squeezing his brother’s shoulder. “Go. We’ll take care of this.”

Alec gave a grateful nod to his parabatai and began his journey to the loft.

~

Magnus was curled up on his couch, hugging his knees to his chest. His heart felt like breaking. His most guarded secret was now out in the open. He was sure Alec thought he was a freak now. Magnus sniffled as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Alec probably didn’t want anything to do with him now.

Suddenly, the warlock heard his door open. He looked up to gaze into hazel eyes. Alec was here, surprising Magnus.

“Magnus,” Alec breathed. He noticed that tears were beginning to fall from Magnus’ eyes, and quickly, Alec walked towards Magnus, closing the door behind him. “Magnus, are you okay?” Alec asked, worried. The shadowhunter knelt in front of the warlock, taking his hands.

Magnus hiccuped. “Y-you’re here,” he whispered, his doubts about Alec washing away.

“Of course, I’m here. Why wouldn’t I be here?” Alec questioned.

“But…the seraph blade…”

“Magnus,” Alec shushed, moving to sit next to Magnus. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t care about it. And I won’t tell. Neither will the others.” Alec cupped Magnus’ cheek. “You’re still the same person I fell in love with. He just a little more badass.”

Magnus gave a watery chuckle. “You never cease to amaze me, darling,” Magnus sighed, looking down at Alec’s hand that was holding both of his. “God, I must look terrible with my makeup ruined now.”

“Hmmm, nah. Still beautiful.” Alec commented, rubbing his thumb against Magnus’ cheek. Alec sat still as Magnus leaned forward to bury his face in Alec’s neck. Alec moved the hand on Magnus’ cheek to the small of the warlock’s back as Magnus whispered a quick thank you. The shadowhunter smiled, feeling happy to know that he was able to wash any doubts that Magnus had. He began to wonder if Magnus will allow Alec to take care of him for the rest of the-

Slam

“Dude, that was so cool!” Simon squealed as he slammed open the door, ruining the moment.

Alec greeted the vampire with a resting bitch face.

“Simon, that was rude!” Izzy exclaimed, smacking Simon upside the head. “You should at least knock.”

“Says the sister who walked in on me and Magnus having sex and started talking to us as if nothing was happening,” Alec retorted as Magnus snapped his fingers, no doubt using magic to clean his face of tears and replace his makeup.

“Well, that time was different,” Izzy argued as Jace and Clary walked in.

“Hey, Magnus,” Clary greeted, softly, as Magnus sat back up. “You okay?”

“I’m okay biscuit,” Magnus replied.

“How did you do that?” Jace questioned. Magnus looked at him, confused. “The…the seraph blade. It glowed red. I’ve never seen something like that before. Actually, how were you even able to wield it? You’re not a Nephilim?”

Magnus saw the clear confusion in all of their faces looking right at him. He sighed. He couldn’t aviod it, but at this moment, he was mentally exhausted. It would have to wait.

“I swear I will answer your questions,” Magnus began. “Just not today. It’s been a rather tiring day for me.”

Jace deflated, pouting due to not getting answers. “Okay,” Jace sighed. “I will be expecting answers though.” Magnus nodded.

“Guys,” Alec gained their attention, “we have to keep what happened between us. No one report this to the Clave. At all.”

“You can trust us, Alec,” Clary agreed.

“You saved my butt there, Magnus,” Izzy complimented. “Maybe you and I can do a few sparring sessions?”

“Hey, I was gonna asked that!” Jace exclaimed, gaining a laugh from Izzy.

“I won’t tell,” Simon swore. “Though seriously, that was so cool!” Magnus smiled and rolled his eyes as Simon began to make references to heroes that only he and Clary understood.

He was okay.

He was safe.

He has family to care for him.

[singingwordwright]

Shadowhunters recap - s2ep18 “Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen”

SHADOWHUNTERS Recaps Intro and Masterlist

These recaps may contain spoilers from the books (that may or may not happen in the show.) Proceed at your own risk.

Recap and meta under the cut.

Gotta give it to Max, he’s a little badass. Temper that with a bit of discretion and maybe he’ll actually live to reach adulthood, contrary to all book canon. Like, seriously Max, you couldn’t have gone to find Alec or Izzy once you realized what the hair leading you to Sebastian meant, instead of confronting Sebastian yourself?

Gratifying just how many times Sebastian gets stabbed in this episode. Of course, I’d prefer it if one of them was a mortal wound, but alas…

If Lindsay was lurking in the hall outside Alec’s office, she should have heard Max’s head crack against the desk. A blow hard enough to knock someone out and cause them to bleed from their nose and ears would be LOUD. I’ve literally heard real people hit their heads in ways that do much less damage and it sounded like a melon exploding.

Now that the banter and fun goofing around is back, so is Simon and Maia’s chemistry. I think this is the magic of Simon. I bought the Climon relationship the most when he and Clary were being giggly and having fun together. I found Simon and Maia’s chemistry in s2ep06 to be off the charts, again, when they were bantering and laughing. For some reason, whenever Simon forgets to be that guy whom women can laugh and have fun with, he loses a lot of what makes him click in his various potential pairings.

My frustration hit its peak with the fact that Sebastian was right there in the middle of everything while everyone was all, “Where is Jonathan?” There’s only so many times you can yell “HE’S THERE!!! HE’S RIGHT FUCKING THERE IN FRONT OF YOU!!!” at the TV before you just throw your hands up in the air and say, “You know what? Fuck it. You’re too stupid to live. I hope he guts you all.”

They carried this plotline right up to the brink of me hitting that point.

Current sexuality: Magnus saying, “m’lady.”

“Your crush” Oh, I’ll show you a fucking crush, you pint-sized wretch!

Let’s all take a moment to bow our heads and be grateful the producers are making a young-adult urban fantasy show and not a hospital drama. Because they would be really, really bad at it. Seriously I was cringing.

And what the fuck were the runes flashing on the monitor over Max’s head about? Are they there to remind the infirmary medics “This is how you draw an iratze. This is how you draw Nourishment. This is how…” (I’m not sure what that last one was, but it looked like some Shadowhunter stylized version of the Caduceus or the rod of Asclepius.)

Of all the times for Magnus to refuse to take Alec’s call.

Wow. I’d forgotten what an asshole Season 1 Alec could be. He’s come a long way, considering that in-universe it has literally been six weeks since he and Magnus met (No, seriously, check out my timeline if you doubt me. I did the math so you don’t have to.)

I say “asshole” in the most loving way possible, of course. He had his reasons, but he was indeed an asshole. It just goes to show how unhappy and uncomfortable in his own skin he was, and how much losing that burden of hiding himself away from the world impacted him.

Still, I sort of wanted Magnus to push back a little harder when Alec low-key threatened him. “If you let anyone know…”/“Oh, you’ll do what, Shadowhunter?” Because Magnus could almost certainly kick Alec’s ass with all but one of his little pinky fingers broken.

I’m glad we’re finally getting down to business with the whole Ollie thing. But IIRC it’s against the Accords (or Covenant?) to let mundanes know anything about the Shadow world. Which means Luke could be in trouble if the Clave gets wind of her finding out.

And why is so so eager to know, anyway? Like, why was she all up in his business?

I’m wondering if it doesn’t actually have something to do with Maia, considering the way Ollie zeroed right in on her. Say, Ollie’s a cop, but she also, idk, moonlights helping Sam (who maybe is a private investigator?) by taking on missing person cases at the behest of desperate families. Contrary to book canon, we’ve been given some indication that Maia’s parents may actually care for her, so what if they hired Sam and Ollie to track Maia down, and find out she’s gotten mixed up in what might look to be (on the surface) a weird wolf-worshipping cult?

IDK I’m just spinning bullshit theories.

I like how at SDCC Isaiah said that Luke is grooming Maia to take over the pack someday, and how we actually sort of saw that in action here.

I liked Jace’s distress here, because with the exception of s2ep08 and a pat on the head in the last episode, we haven’t really seen him and Max interact or gotten any impression of how his relationship is with Max. And his distress here feels a lot more…sincere? relatable, maybe?...than his oft-repeated bouts of brooding manpain over his upbringing under Valentine.

And, strangely, his pain feeling more genuine also made Clary’s empathy and support feel more genuine. This moment made me feel more of a connection between them than just about any other moment they’ve had on-screen together.

Funny how when you build a relationship between characters out of moments and situations that are arise organically within the plot—rather than forcing it—it just works better, isn’t it?

I feel like I should say something about Bat, but I just don’t have much of an impression of him or what part he’s going to play within the plot, yet. Kevin Alves seems incredibly sweet and eager to be a part of the show, however, so there’s that?

“Rebooting of the brain.” Really? (The part of me that actually knows something about medicine is rolling its eyes so hard right now. This was badly done. Suspension of disbelief in one area only works if you are meticulously grounded in accurate reality in other areas, and this would have been a good area to do that. Massive head trauma that can’t be magically woo-wooed away.)

I have lots of thoughts on the decision to keep Max alive, most of them not good. I was prepared for the pain of him dying, which would have struck pretty close to home because I have a 10yo son. And as a storyteller, I think it would have gone a long way to establishing the stakes for this story.

Like, Valentine wants to commit genocide, and Sebastian wants to help him. We all get that. And we’re all horrified by it. But genocide is a MASSIVE concept to try to really wrap your head around. The human brain, I think, tends to shield you from really grasping it. It’s just too much.

This is a problem faced often by storytellers who are writing stories in which the fate of the world is at stake. It’s too big. The audience can’t connect with it personally, can’t internalize it. So you take that, and you distill it to make the stakes personal. One death, of a character who is beloved by your protagonists and hopefully by your audience, an innocent with all the potential in the world that will now never manifest, stands in for the thousands or millions who will actually die if the bad guy isn’t stopped. That death becomes a rallying point for your protagonists, and a symbol to your audience of just how evil your bad guy is and how much he needs to be stopped.

In short, Max needed to die. He needed to die as tragically as possible. It would have had a lot more storytelling mileage.

God. This scene was just everything I could have asked for their first time to be. I’m pretty sure I wrote a line in a fanfic once about Magnus telling Alec that one of the rules of his bed was that you had to be able to laugh in it, so the giggling and giddiness was just so perfect. And the fact that Magnus responded “No such thing” when Alec expressed concern that he might be doing something wrong is really something else I could have written myself.

It was tender and sweet and sexy without being objectifying and I loved it.

I will say, though, I’m probably in the minority in that I never wanted or needed to see a scene where Alec was confronted with Magnus’s cat eyes for the first time and explicitly stated his unstinting acceptance of him. I always felt it would be othering to go that route. And I felt like this idea that Magnus, who is so incredibly powerful, would lose control so easily a little absurd. I always liked to imagine that the idea that Alec would find NOT being accepting of Magnus unthinkable, that he would be honestly and sincerely befuddled by the idea that Magnus’s eyes might be a Big Deal. “Yeah, he’s a warlock, he has a warlock mark, I’m not sure why that’s supposed to be something that matters.”

That said, if they were going to go there, then this was the way to do it. The thread that weaves through Magnus and Alec’s story in this episode and ties past to present is the fact that they come from different worlds, and with those different worlds come different obligations and priorities. So in this case, the othering was entirely the point and it played into that theme.

So, if it had to happen, I’m glad it at least happened within this context and wasn’t just schmaltzy.

I really loved Luke being such a badass here but I’m certain allowing Russell to live is a bad idea.

Seriously, though, Russell. Not only is Luke a badass just as a werewolf, but he’s got the martial training of a Shadowhunter. How do you imagine you’re going to win this?

Probably one of the most realistic fight scenes I’ve ever seen in terms of showing just how exhausting fighting becomes in very short order. Too many drag out too long before the combatants start to show fatigue.

I really want to know about the cooks at the Jade Wolf. Are they werewolves themselves? Is that why the kitchen staff never bats an eye at anything, including these people waltzing in and out of the kitchen and storeroom?

The scene with Maia explaining her backstory was extremely well done and Alisha Wainwright is all things wonderful and I love her.

“This is what love got me.” Let’s take a moment to recognize the symmetry of Maia and Simon’s stories though. Becoming a vampire, a Downworlder, is what love got Simon as well.

I can’t say anything about this scene that hasn’t been said before, and better, since they released it as a sneak peek. But it’s so beautiful and my heart hurts.

Magnus’s moment with the Lightwoods all together on one side of the hall and him by himself on the other is incredibly poignant but I can’t find the words to really examine it properly. This is the point at which things just began to hurt too much and my brain stopped being able to cope with it.

I’d really like to know how Jace, who can sense Alec’s happiness over things like having sex with his boyfriend for the first time, couldn’t sense the lack of a spike in grief that would have surely occurred upon Max’s death. Grrr.

The fight sequence with Sebastian taking out all the guards was amazing and Will Tudor is brilliant. Did he really use a sword that was still stuck through someone’s body to parry a blow?

What the hell was with him just using his hand to open the crypt, though? No rune or anything. Can Sebastian somehow channel magic?

This whole thing with Clary was awesome and for once she seemed to be working for her miracles so I’ll ungrudgingly let her have this. The one thing I don’t know is what finally tipped her off about Sebastian. Was the electrum nugget thing too warm after he handled it? Did she just realize she never saw his palm? What made her chase after him and check his palm?

I loved her stabbing him. Twice. I’m fully in support of stabbing Sebastian. Yes. Please. Let’s stab Sebastian more. Sebastian for Pincushion 2k17.

Sebastian continues to be a creepy-ass fuck. Seriously, WHY did they decide to go with the incestuous obsession thing? There are so many other places they could have taken that story.

I like that her Open rune that burned through Magnus’s wards also exploded the Institute security doors. I appreciated that for a couple reasons. First, because Sebastian taught her to do that, to use her runes and make them more powerful. Second, it’s also a nice little nod to the books, since we didn’t get that scene of Clary totally disintegrating and blowing up Valentine’s barge with that rune.

Sebastian has vamp speed, too?

I want to ship them, but I haven’t managed it yet. In-universe it’s been like, a week, since Clary and Simon broke up. And of course we know they’re not end-game. But the writers ended up making me buy Climon more than I ever expected to, so maybe they’ll do the same with this one.

I just don’t want to see either of them hurt, so if Simon ends up ending it with Maia, I’m going to be upset, and if Maia ends up ending it with Simon I’ll be upset. *sigh*

I hated seeing the home Simon has been making for himself torn apart like that.

This is the moment of my first death and the beginning of buckets of tears. This look on Magnus’s face after Alec says “our way back to each other.” I can’t. I just can’t. He’s just so heartbroken here.

And the way Alec’s eyes close when Magnus touches him.

And the way Magnus’s voice almost breaks when he says “I love you, too.”

And the way Magnus is trying to smile, just a little. To hold on to some of the joy he’s found with Alec. To file this portion of his life away as a happy memory. To remember Alec as a good thing and not a source of sorrow.

There are so many nuances here and every single one of them fucking slays me dead.

Alec’s disbelief and denial.

Alec’s youthful, naïve insistence that if they just work hard enough, if they’re just determined enough, they can find a way, and Magnus’s world-weary wisdom and centuries of experience telling him there’s just no chance for them.

“You once asked me what I was afraid of. It’s this.”

And here’s my second death. That all along we thought that Magnus was afraid of being alone, being abandoned, like Camille said, he never does well losing the people he cares about.

So, we’ve always thought he was afraid Alec would break his heart. Leave him. Be repulsed by him. Choose duty over him.

We should have known better. Magnus has lived long enough to have his heart broken before, and he knows he’ll survive it.

His real fear is inflicting that pain, that loss, on someone else.

My third and finale death. Alec stifling a sob is where I just lose it entirely.

So I guess what I’m saying here?

Yes, this is a break-up. That’s my read on it. Sorry. It just is.

I don’t believe it’s a permanent one. Of course it’s not. If they’re not back together by the end of the season, at least on some sort of tentative, provisional basis, I’ll be very surprised and extremely pissed off. If I’m left with this boulder sitting on my chest over the hiatus I’m not sure I’ll survive. This show is supposed to be my happy place and I think if they leave me in this hurty place for very long it’s going to ruin it for me.

I don’t think the producers will let this linger long.

But this scene right here? As far as Magnus is concerned in this exact moment as he’s walking away from Alec?

He thinks they’re done. He thinks they’re over. He means it to be that way.

Something will happen to make him change his mind, though, and that’s important. Because here’s the thing:

We’ve seen Alec choose Magnus over and over and over.

He chose Magnus in s1ep06 when he walked away from the Institute and duty to take an evening to at least investigate the possibility of doing something that wasn’t about duty.

He chose Magnus in s1ep12 when he walked away from his own wedding.

He chose Magnus in s2ep06 when he turned his back on his own fears and misgivings and plunged into this relationship.

He chose Magnus in s2ep08 when he challenged his mother’s lack of acceptance repeatedly and sent her a very pointed message about their relationship.

He chose Magnus in s2ep10 when he rejected Aldertree’s words about the impossibility of relationships between Shadowhunters and Downworlders.

He chose Magnus in s2ep13 when he risked censure from the Inquisitor to take a stand for what’s right.

Even when everything he’s ever been trained and brought up to do is telling him to do the opposite, he has chosen Magnus repeatedly.

The only time we haven’t seen him choose Magnus was with regard to keeping the secret about the Soul Sword, and even then, his choice was about Magnus, even if it was paternalistic and wrong-headed.

What we haven’t seen, though?

We haven’t seen Magnus choosing Alec. We see him clearly aware of the difficulty in their situation, especially since s2ep12, but he never really chooses to stand against it. Which is not to say he’s not committed, not at all. We’ve seen Magnus put himself on the line and expose himself and make himself vulnerable for Alec. That’s huge. But with the exception of his hesitation to keep pursuing Alec in s1ep12, we haven’t seen him make that same deliberate decision to damn the obstacles between them and make this relationship happen. His commitment has been more along the lines of ducking and covering and hoping whatever is heading toward them blows over before it pushes them to this critical juncture.

We need to see him make that choice. Everything since s2ep12 has been leading to him making that choice.

Now, I don’t want to step outside my lane, so I’m gonna tread carefully here. 

The thing we have to remember is that Alec, coming from the privileged group, is much safer choosing Magnus than Magnus is in choosing Alec. He’s got that safety net built in, so it’s easier for him. He may face censure and perhaps a decrease in some of his advantages (like being passed over for job promotions) but no consequences that he might face are on the same level of what Magnus might face.

So the two dilemmas and the choice to stand against their respective obstacles are not equal. If Magnus choses their relationship over his people, he doesn’t just face censure, he faces genocide. Pretty big difference there. The only possible way he can justifiably choose Alec at all is if he somehow discovers that choosing Alec dovetails conveniently with the best way to protect himself and his people.

My prediction is that something in the next episode, or in the finale at the latest, is going to bring Magnus to that decision point and make him turn around.

But for the moment? Right now, this scene?

I know it’s going to be an unpopular opinion, but Magnus really does mean this to be a breakup.

[faejilly]

i am for you (13/?)

sorry for the delay in posting this; I did not prep ahead of time so I could post it before Family Holiday Weekend, and then I accidentally set the fandom on fire, and then the husband was sick, but. BUT ANYWAYS. Have some fluff as the news spreads to the rest of our extended hedge(s).

[alec]: want some coffee? My treat?

[lydia]: what happened where's the emergency who's dying what do you need

[alec]: five minutes of your time?

[lydia]: oh. That's easy, yeah. I'm at the Union. I can even give you ten minutes if you can get over here fast enough

[alec]: on my way

***

[misfitchat]

[magnus]: hey so we ended up telling Alec's family some news yesterday [magnus]: And I'd hate if you heard from someone besides me since you're all apparently like one step away from knowing each other already? but the chances of me managing to get all of you in the same physical location before Sunday brunch is honestly less than zero (and I'm not getting at all into "who comes first" conversations), so [magnus]: Alec asked me to marry him. The uh. Night we met. [magnus]: and I said yes. Well technically I said "ok" but [magnus]: I have no idea why I keep specifying that [magnus]: that's it I've got rehearsal this morning and my phone will be off, love you all, bye

***

[newchat]

[cat]: DID YOU GET THE MESSAGE FROM MAGNUS? [cat]: what the actual fuck

[tessa]: I have no damn clue

[dot]: Magnus finally met someone who is as Extra as he is

[raphael]: I didn't think that was possible

[ragnor]: Huh. That... explains more than it doesn't.

[cat]: what? How so?

[ragnor]: doesn't matter

[ragnor]: I'm more surprised by how un-surprised I am than the news itself. I wonder why. Magnus falls hard but he doesn't trust easily, and Alec has never struck me as reckless.

[cat]: You know. I know exactly what you mean? I should be horrified. And worried. And... stuff.

[tessa]: But they're so pretty together?

[dot]: Yeah. I agree, it's weird how weird it isn't.

[raphael]: But I'm still going to smack him upside the head if they don't give themselves a decently long engagement to make up for the rest of it

[cat]: Fair enough. I'll help, even.

[dot]: Should we throw them an engagement party?

[tessa]: Alec's going to be ramping up for finals soon

[cat]: As will Magnus, honestly, plus all the senior project performances

[ragnor]: Does no one care that I also have to prep for and then recover from finals?

[raphael]: No.

[tessa]: Engagement/Graduation party AFTER?

[cat]: Oh, that sounds like a good idea

[raphael]: I know just the place

[dot]: I can ask Clary who we need to invite for Alec. It's nice to talk to her again. She's all grown up in comparison to when I baby-sat her a time or two, so it's a little weird, but nice.

[tessa]: Is this a SURPRISE party? Magnus hates those. [tessa]: That's perfect.

[ragnor]: oh, Alec will hate that too. What a wonderful idea.

[cat]: Serves them right.

[raphael]: it really does

***

[groupmms]

[lydia]: they're engaged [lydia]: I miss one [lydia]: *1* [lydia]: SINGLE SOLITARY FAMILY DINNER

[maia]: and a good morning to you too, Lydia

[izzy]: it's not like you come to family dinner EVERY week

[lydia]: BUT THIS WAS NOT THE ONE TO MISS, WAS IT?

[lydia]: wtf is this monday even doing [lydia]: are we waiting until he gets a hold of Aline, or are we going to try and get to her first so she can yell at him before he's prepared? Oh, do you think we could get your Aunt Jia to yell at him? Or is that going too far.

[izzy]: that might be a bit much

[jace]: yeah, I think we'll let Mom field that one, she was delighted enough to get herself through that conversation better than I think anyone else could manage

[lydia]: the rest of you not so much?

[jace]: I'm mostly delighted? I mean. It's better, but it is. Uh.

[simon]: sweet and heartwarming and romantic and stark-raving-crazy-times?

[jace]: yeah, that. On all counts.

[lydia]: oh thank goodness, other people who are really conflicted about how happy they are for him, I was afraid it was just me. [lydia]: like, this ought to be all wrong and it's not but I feel like I should think it is?

[izzy]: no, that's about right. They do seem to be aware they're, you know, out there, but they really are kind of stunning when they're together so it's hard not to think it makes sense

[jace]: until they leave the room again and you're all. Wait. You've known each other a week? Two? But it seems right anyway? How am I as crazy as the both of you, now?

[maia]: the mutual in the crazy-times is what sells it, I think

[lydia]: yeah. That's true. At least they haven't set a date yet.

[clary]: about that! [clary]: while you guys were yelling I got a text from Dot about planning a surprise engagement party after graduation

[izzy]: Alec despises surprise parties

[clary]: I think that's kind of the point? Apparently Magnus doesn't like them either

[maia]: oh. OH, I think I like Magnus' friends

[jace]: huh. It does sound like we're all on the same "sweet and heartwarming and romantic and stark-raving-crazy-times" page.

[simon]: 🤜🤛

[izzy]: We will celebrate your adorable improbable relationship in the way that will make you the Most Annoyed because you just dropped this bombshell on us? I can get behind that.

[maia]: count me in too

[lydia]: we'll have to ask Aline if she thinks she and Helen can come back early

[jace]: and we DEFINITELY have to wait until we can get Max here

[simon]: yeah, I think we're all in Fray, let's get this show on the road

***

[overseasmms]

[alec]: hey, is now a good time?

[aline]: HEY! 👋🏻

[helen]: so, new boyfriend, huh? Introducing him to the folks already?

[alec]: Yeah. About that. [alec]: wait. How'd you know about that?

[aline]: Clary wanted to gush about your boy Magnus at about three in the morning, so she hit me up. It was very strange, drunk Clary talking about your hook-ups is a little disturbing [aline]: tho I suppose since he's a boyfriend, hook-up might not be the right word?

[helen]: uh oh he's not answering. Wanna bet he's glaring at his phone in shock? We'll have to give him a minute to come up with words.

[aline]: I will not take that bet, because OBVIOUSLY

[alec]: wow. Ok. Right. The actual word would be fiance. So. There's that.

[alec]: and that was not quite how I meant to do that, sorry

[alec]: well, at least I made someone else stare uncomfortably at a phone now?

[alec]: hello?

[helen]: what

[aline]: does my mom know? Don't make me tell my mom I don't know what she'd do if one of the children got engaged to someone they just met I cannot even imagine the face, she'd have to come up with something worse than the murder-look or maybe that's why I should be the one since long-distance the face might be less scary

[helen]: breathe, babe

[alec]: I don't want to introduce Magnus to Aunt Jia yet, I don't want to scare him off, please don't tell your Mom. I think my Mom was planning on it? If I'm very lucky.

[aline]: ok good. [aline]: ALSO HOLY CRAP CONGRATS and you're a lunatic, when did that happen?

[alec]: the lunatic or the engaged?

[helen]: I think we're assuming they're both the same thing

[alec]: ha

[alec]: fair point actually [alec]: and uh. First date? [alec]: But Mom sort of accidentally got us to admit it last night. We were going to not stress everyone out by mentioning it for awhile. Maybe a year. Or something.

[helen]: first

[aline]: date

[helen]: was it like a thrill of the moment really good sex thing and you just... went with it?

[aline]: omg you had sex on a first date I never thought you were that guy

[alec]: first sight

[alec]: hi — marry me — make-out against bus stop — go meet the siblings — sneak out early and go back to his place [alec]: best date ever? [alec]: That is, it was definitely my best (and last) first date ever, the question mark is more that everyone keeps looking at me like I've lost it. Which is. Not unreasonable. But. Yeah?

[aline]: wtf

[helen]: uh. Wow. How did that go over at family dinner?

[alec]: Mom said welcome to the family and got out the wine to celebrate and everyone else did... probably what you're doing at the moment with the weird faces and the trying not to call me a moron out loud because you're going to pretend to be happy for me at least until the shock wears off [alec]: at which point I'm hoping everyone will be GENUINELY happy, if liable to make fun of me for this forever

[helen]: and EVER & EVER. Yeah. That. That seems about right.

[aline]: I don't. I am. Wow. [aline]: I need pictures [aline]: I need to see who made YOU OF ALL PEOPLE turn into a hopeless impulsive romantic lunatic.

[helen]: He's always been an impulsive lunatic, he's just usually better at hiding the inciting incident so no one notices. Once he makes a decision he *flings* himself at it

[aline]: oh yeah. [aline]: the hopeless romantic isn't new either, really. Huh. I think the shock's wearing off already, this is actually entirely in character.

[alec]: I have no idea if that's an insult or not. So. Thanks?

[aline]: me neither so, you're welcome?

[helen]: on a slightly more serious note, I can't wait to meet the guy who's as much of an impulsive hopeless romantic lunatic as you are and thus SAID YES to this craziness, and I second the request for pictures.

[alec]: ha. I can get you pictures. And I'll happily talk about Magnus forever, where do you want me to start?

***

[misfitchat]

[magnus]: did I break the chat?

[cat]: sorry, we had to go yell a bit at each other in shock [cat]: and we weren't sure when you'd turn your phone back on so there didn't seem to be a huge hurry to get back?

[ragnor]: I am not at all sorry about that, you're lucky we yelled at each other in shock instead of at you in horror

[tessa]: BUT. We're not actually horrified!

[raphael]: inexplicably

[tessa]: AND. We do wish to say congratulations

[dot]: We're very happy for you! 🥂💖🎉

[raphael]: you're both certifiable, but since it IS the both of you, that seems to be working out all right

[ragnor]: I think what he means is that you're disturbingly perfect for each other

[dot]: And so pretty!

[magnus]: thanks? [magnus]: I mean, thank you. Really. It means a lot to me. To us! I can say that now. That's so delightful! And really weird.

[dot]: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood's DELIGHTFULLY WEIRD WEDDING

[tessa]: sounds about right

[cat]: in like five years, give us a chance to recover first

[magnus]: we'll try. [magnus]: no promises though 😉 [magnus]: (I promise not to elope without warning, and we've both agreed to a long engagement, but I cannot guarantee five years. But it won't be tomorrow.)

[tessa]: that's good enough, I think

[cat]: and we really are very happy for you, Magnus. I feel like you've been trying not to be *you* for a long time, and it's good to see you... not doing that anymore.

[magnus]: oh, kitty cat, I love you too [magnus]: I love all of you, and thank you. And I have to go do work and not cry at my phone so I'm running away again.

[tessa]: 😘

[ralfstrashcan]

3B Trailer Reaction / Commentary

Ngl after watching the trailer for the first time I laughed my ass of for a solid minute because the scene changes where so swift that I didn't get a thing LOL Then I rewatched it, pausing every 0.03 seconds and here are my thoughts. Pls bear with my shitty screenshots ;)

HELL YEAH WINGS IT WAS ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!! After Jace (Dom, whatever) invented a Wing Rune in that one video and after there's an official Winged Rune on the Shadowhunters Wiki Page

Figures they'd wait for the absolute last season to get out the good stuff. Srsly so much lost time. Hope they make the best of it. And isn't it ironic that demon-blooded Jonathan has wings when freakin pure angel-blooded Jace and Clary don't have them? Yet anyway :D

“The resurrection brought back my real face.”

Lol dude how would you know? Didn't you spend the last ten-ish years as a pretty peace of charcoal? I mean, my instinctual thought wouldn't be that this sweet boy

would age to look like this

He could be 100% reborn in a new body, I mean Lilith called it a rebirth several times. How would he know. Anyway. At least they got the eye color right. Somewhere Lily Evans is weeping bitter, jealous tears.

Since here we have Magnus, Alec and Simon and a warlock portal.... either they ordered a warlock to open that thing, a warlock who didn't come through with them, OR MAGNUS HAS HIS MAGIC BACK HELL YEAH

1) Is this a choker?? I need answers!! 2) Why tf is Alec frowning? Probably because Magnus is happy to be back at the Institute.

Don't even get me started. Srsly. Just check out this post, it's G-O-L-D. Still cackling XD

It's hard to tell, but is that Aline???? I could be wrong, but that ponytail doesn’t look like Izzy to me.

HOT DAMN! THE GRACE! THE POISE! I LOVE!!!

So I guess Simon's gonna lose his fancy forehead mark??

“I'm looking at all the leader the pack needs right here in front of me.”

Uhhh agree to disagree. Maia is a strong and fierce character, and she knows how to demand respect... but she is way too trigger-happy to be a good leader. Case in point

literally the next frame is her smashing one of her packmembers. I mean, Luke didn't do too good a job either, with (understandably) prioritizing Clary over his pack and his general penachant for avoiding conflicts and trying to wait things out (and I'm still not over the shit he pulled in 3x04). Which is why in my opinion both of them together would be what's best for the pack, balancing each other out.

When I first saw this gif (because of course I saw three billion gifsets before I saw the trailer) I thought 'whaaaat does Alec have magic now?????' until I realized this is Cat's hand. Heh. There go my Warlock!Alec-Dreams. For now.

Anyway wtf is Magnus doing lying all dead in Alec's office? Was this a hate crime by vengeful Shadowhunters? I mean...? If not, did someone injure Magnus and deposit him in Alec's office?? Wtf??? So many questions X___x

?????????????????????????????

.......................................... *sigh*

Leaving my personal opinion of that pairing aside... if I wouldn't know the books I'd be like “Wtf is going on?! Last time I checked Simon was dating Maia??” Like seriously. They didn't even bother do hint at a break up and they just... throw Sizzy in my face like Maia doesn't even exist. Can't believe the disrespect.

Also You have so much more to live for? Please Izzy. Simon's been dead since Season 1. He only has things to be undead for ;)

So first off, Jace, you have a serious candle problem, but we established that in 3A already. Second off, what's up with the timeline? If Clary's back in the Institute to be wooed by Jace, when does she turn evil? I thought that was in Edom? Confusion?

“I love you until I die.”

HAHAHAHA JACE YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THAT HAHAHA

“It is my honor to pronounce you-”

HUSBAND AND HUSBAND THANKS FOR THAT MALEC WEDDING LIKE SRSLY I'M BETTING YOU REAL MONEY (that i don't have) THAT THIS IS FROM THE LAST EPISODE AND IT ENDS WITH THE MALEC WEDDING WE ALL DESERVE!!!!!11!!!1!

smh Clary, one does not simply leave a wedding early, especially not Malec's wedding.

Also are those two gals Aline and the ever elusive Helen Blackthorn???

Hey Jace, nice of you to catch on that your unhealthy obsession with candles needs to end. I hadn't imagined it to go quite so violently but whatever you deem fit I guess.

......Luke doesn't seem to be having the best time either :(

Izzy at it again with the sexy-crying (get it, the opposite of ugly-crying) wtf she's unreal

Yeah that belatedly dyed hair doesn't persuade me more that you and kiddie Jonathan are the same person. Nice try.

lol Alec are those five arrows? I mean, go off. Don't let logic stop you from being badass. I believe in you, man. (And Magnus is gonna be so proud!)

wings wings WINGS I love them and I'm gonna cherish every frame of the (let's be real) two minutes of screen time they're gonna get. Also is Clary stowing her daggers in her back pocket? We all know what Moody would say to that.

This is now my new aesthetic.

Bonus:

“Guten Taaaag, willkommen.”

Awwww Luke greeting me in my mother tongue and with such enthusiasm <3 precious

(Gif Source)

[harryshmjr]

02x08

wow, that episode was intense, wasn’t it? all those hallucinations showing people’s insecurities and also magnus being the biggest badass. i loved it a lot

- i was actually in tears when alec assured magnus that he wants them to be together, he doesn't want it to go away, he's serious about this. and magnus? the happiness on his face? that means everything to me

- when alec sees his mother for the first time, he might be different than in the past. but his body still goes to the 'perfect soldier form'... this breaks my heart. cause when he's around her, he's a soldier first and then a son

- i'm done with shadowhunters calling magnus alec's friend instead of boyfriend and trying to make their relationship invalid. they can all choke

- i'm still so emotional that max called magnus alec's boyfriend. and alec's reaction was just so pure? he was like 'yeah, i do have a warlock boyfriend. he's amazing'

- ‘traditions change. especially those based on ignorance’ YES! preach it. i'm so proud of alec for saying this because it's so important. shadowhunters think they're just better than everyone else... they're really not

- ‘me and magnus. together.’ & ‘thank magnus’ alec being a protective boyfriend is my everything. this was so beautiful and i definitely need more moments like those

- magnus being obsessed with cats and speaking french to them is my new aesthetic

- i was kind of afraid of that talk between magnus and jace because that 'hurt my brother, i'll hurt you' to magnus? just no. so i'm glad jace realised very quickly how serious magnus is and that he didn't try to continue with it although i am bitter that this is how we got confirmation that malec actually did have sex. because we deserved at least a conversation between magnus and alec, not something like this

- but magnus' reaction when he thought he might've had an accidental three way with jace was kinda hilarious

- alec was so proud of magnus throwing this amazing party, even though magnus was very insecure. not about his skills to throw a party but that he might not be accepted by maryse or max and he wanted it to be perfect because this means so much to alec and coming up with the theme and trying not to say too much even though maryse was acting like... well, like she always does. this isn't something that magnus would do for anyone. and seeing both of them falling in love with each other more and more makes me so so happy

- magnus' cat eyes are so so beautiful. i'm gonna write this every single time we get a chance to see them and yes, i'd prefer if magnus and alec were alone for this but i still loved it. magnus felt comfortale enough to show his real eyes in front of max. max who is already becoming important to him because of alec. magnus doesn't like shadowhunters but he's giving alec's family a chance because he loves alec (yes, he does. fight me on this) and jace calling magnus their friend? this was so important. it's not just alec defending his boyfriend. it's also jace being supportive because he knows magnus is an amazing guy and how much he means to his parabatai i do wish max apologised for his behaviour... but i really do understand why he did that. yes, it was wrong. but he's a kid who is constantly forced to watch his family hate each other, being forced to watch your family fall apart when you're still a child... this isn't good for him. i just love max so much. and i can relate to him so much.

- alec becoming more confident and speaking his mind is the best view. bit by bit he starts believing in himself and he doesn't allow people to have power over him, it’s a very slow process but he’s getting there

- ‘this is an elegant affair, not an episode of the real housewives of idris’ has got to be my favourite quote from this episode haha

- magnus was in charge of this huge party, yet he still realised that people were hallucinating and that he needed to help them. honestly, who could ever do something like this? only magnus everyone kept arguing around him but he stayed calmed and saved everyone's lives. he is too good for this world and as soon as his spell book was gone, he put his wards up in a sec without breaking a sweat. we got to see how powerful he is and i need more? also, he figured out so quickly who the actual thief was. we really don't appreciate him enough. he's the most powerful and the smartest being and everyone would be dead without him

- magnus hearing the simple 'alec, no' and running to actually save alec’s life? i'm just so emotional about this. alec was ready to jump, he DID jump. yes, it was technically because clary said all those things but it's so clear that he still blames himself for what happened. if magnus hadn't been there... or if he hadn't cared... i don't even want to think about this

- also, how incredible was magnus fighting? every hit was precise, his defence was flawless. and when he was finally done, he cast such a powerful spell, iris stood exactly no chance at all.

- fraywood moment left me in tears. i love that they're becoming friends even if it breaks my heart that no matter how many times clary says she doesn't blame him, alec still blames himself for it

- alec supporting maryse... even after all she did, how she never supported him, he's still there for her... telling her that she can count on him. i cried a lot during this scene

- WE NEVER ASKED luke dragging jace and clary is my everything. shadowhunters always think 'they know better' or 'they're doing it for the greater good.' no, just shut up. listen to downworlders for once because they have a right to know such things and luke was absolutely the best. true alpha. and also very concerned brother. luke is the purest character on this show. his sister hated him, said horrible things about him. yet he's still there, worried about her, trying to save her we seriously don't deserve luke

- raphael saving izzy was such a good scene. he really didn't need to help her, last time they met, she was trying to kill him. and he believed in her, he was really trying to make her get rid of yin fen out of her system

- and can we just stop with that izzy plot line tho... cause i'm done with it. izzy deserves better than almost dying in some alley trying to score. if it wasn't for raphael...

- and i absolutely hate that izzy forced raphael to feed on her. he didn't want this. he fought hard to stop feeding on human blood and shadowhunter blood? this is too much. he didn't consent to this. this was so wrong.

- raphael telling izzy how magnus saved him left me in tears. he's one of the very few people that actually feels grateful for magnus being there for him and helping him during the worst times. i actually don't have good enough words to describe how much i love magnus

- izzy telling maryse all those things is my aesthetic. she always needed her mum and maryse was never there for her. and yeah, you can explain some of those things but this is still not okay. and izzy was absolutely right to say all of those things

- i really loved a scene between maia and jace. yeah, they may not exactly... like each other but they're clearly on better terms and their interactions are always interesting 

- i can't even imagine what jace must've felt like when he heard that maryse wanted him dead. sure, she never actually said that but he still heard that and thinking of something like this is one thing. but actually hearing it from someone you consider your mother?

- jace and maryse finally having a talk made me cry a lot. they both really needed this. they mean so much to each other but because everything that happened, it was just too hard and complicated

- max's ceremony and his oath was one of the most perfect moments in this episode. it was so beautiful

- i absolutely despise climon. just get those unnecessery straight couples from me. especially when they're basically siblings although simon trying to find courage was adorable 

- valentine needs to stay away from madzie. magnus is basically already her step dad so ughhh he'd better watch out because he really doesn't want to piss the high warlock of brooklyn off

[bi-the-angel-blog]

“Oh Raphael… I’d hoped that, when they all died away, I’d at least have you.” The warlock sat in what he currently considered home, a nice little place in Tokyo, speaking to a decorative box filled with nothing but dirt on his coffee table. Swirling his olive-skewer around in his martini he let out a breath, turning his eyes towards the window, biting his teeth together when he heard the ping of the ring on his finger hitting his glass. “You, Simon, I’d hoped one of you would have lasted through immortality with me for at least a few decades more.”

Lights from the busy city danced along his floor, casting shadows and reflecting off priceless items displayed around the room. Magnus turned to stare at the box, at the dirt, his companion, and let out a long sigh of resignation before he got to his feet. “Well. I suppose I should have known better. But it still hurts all the same.”

He skirted around the armchair he’d just been lounging in and went over to a small display on an elegant wooden table, designed and hand-crafted in Taiwan. Framed pictures stood around the edges of it, the broken bottom half of an arrow and a dust-collecting steele lying between them. A familiar ache of loss surging through his chest, Magnus reached out and touched one of the framed pictures, eyes flickering over the features of the dark-haired boy in the photo. “How I loved you, Alexander.”

He swallowed, fingertip tracing the line of the boy’s face. Not for the first time, he wondered if, somewhere out there, there was some way of time travel. It would be selfish, wrong, but he would give everything he had to go back to those days. They had been messy, and uncertain, but never had he loved so much in all his years. And he didn’t just mean Alec. His eyes flickered to another picture, the one from the time everyone had gone out bowling. He and Alec were front and centre, with Simon pushing his way in, Clary and Izzy embraced and making faces, Jace poking Alec’s hair and smirking at the camera. He had loved them, too. Very much.

“It’s strange,” Magnus spoke, looking at the immortalised Isabelle in the frame. “I’ve had many friends, but never did I have a friend like you. And I feel I never shall again.”

He tilted his head, smiling softly at the memories he would never forget as irritating pop music from their time period played in the background. With his never-fading flourish he spun away from his small altar and returned to his arm-chair, raising an eyebrow once more at the box he’d been conversing with before. “I think about all of you very often. In fact I… hardly ever stop. According to my track record I should have forgotten you almost completely, but no. Instead I have to suffer with the perfectly in-tact memories.”

He shifted to be more comfortable, tossing back what remained of his liquor before teleporting the glass back to the kitchen counter. Absently he glanced about his home, wondering if he’d ever work up the guts to redecorate. Normally he’d be on it as soon as he moved towns, but for the past one-hundred and fifteen years his living quarters had all looked eerily similar to that of his Brooklyn loft. He couldn’t get himself to let go, and it hurt deeper than any knife ever could.

He began twisting his wedding ring around on his finger, feeling burning at the backs of his eyes. But he wouldn’t cry, he refused, his makeup was too exquisite to ruin with tears. So instead he whispered, a weak and feeble sound. “Do you think I’ll ever move on, Rafi?"

The only answer he received was the busy traffic sounds of Tokyo’s streets, and Ke$ha playing from the library. The warlock stood once more, going to the doors of the balcony and tossing them both open at once. As he sauntered out he thought about the scenery in New York, so different from here, and yet he hadn’t found the strength to return and see it again. As he leaned against the railing he felt a phantom hand on his shoulder and he closed his eyes, holding his breath. If a tear did slip, falling to the ground stories below, he decided to ignore it.

“Dammit, Alec, why can’t I just…” He swallowed before wetting his lips, slowly opening his eyes once more. He reached to touch the hand he felt gently caressing his neck, but there was nothing truly there. As always. He knew why he ‘couldn’t just’, and it made him want to scream. “Of course. It’s because you were more than a simple love.”

Magnus had lived long enough to fall in love, to love, to lose that love, to fall out of love, and to love long after love had fallen to their grave. But what Alexander Lightwood had been during their fleeting lifetime together was even stronger than love, than being in love. Alec had been his first, his last, and his only soulmate.

“I hate you,” Magnus said quietly into the air, arms folded on the banister as his eyes scanned the lit-up night. “Or at least I wish I could.”

He hung his head, suddenly feeling inexplicably tired, as if he hadn’t slept in a century. “You’ve broken my heart.”

After a moment he looked over his shoulder, at the box, an empty smirk playing on his lips. “You as well, Rafi. You, and Simon.”

He turned back to the Tokyo skyline, nodding some to himself. “And Clary… Isabelle… Jace… Jocelyn…”

He listened to the beeping horns and speaking billboard advertisements, staring blankly at absolutely nothing. Without thinking he started using a healing spell on himself, but it did nothing to fix the ache in his chest. He gave up, folding his arms in front of himself on the railing once again. “I’ve got many years ahead of me. I suppose I have to start living with myself.”

With a snap of his fingers he had a new liquor in hand, but rather than his usual cocktail, he was holding a shot glass of straight whiskey. He tossed it down his throat without a reaction, refilling it again and again and again until he’d drank so much he could barely think. Which was the point. Stumbling, he managed to find his way to his bed, which always felt too empty. Somewhere between here and there he’d scooped up all the items from his altar, placing them as well as Raphael’s box on the side of the bed Alec once slept on.

With a grunt Magnus slipped under the blankets, reaching out his fingers for the snapped arrow and holding it to his chest like a dying man would a flower. His brain was more alcohol than it was control, so although it annoyed him, he decided that he wasn’t accountable for the tears seeping out of his closed eyes.

“I want to forget…” His thumb stroked over the shaft of the arrow, and a remorseful smile shaped his expression. “No… I don’t.”

The warlock didn’t cry much more after that, but rather stared at the ceiling as he caressed the broken weapon in his hand as he once would have his Alec’s skin. City clamour and catchy music (with the assistance of liquor) drowned out his shaky breaths, and he remained there thinking about how cold his bedroom was. No price he had ever named for his services could compare to the price of immortality. “Goodnight, Alexander…”

As he began slipping away into another night of restless sleep, still clutching one of the few pieces he had left of his beloved Shadowhunter, his mind conjured up the sound of Alec laughing. Magnus smiled, as slight as it were. In his head he could hear him, could imagine how Alec’s breath against his ear as they used to fall asleep in one another’s arms felt. I love you. He mouthed the words in return to the Lightwood boy’s ghost, but nothing came from his lips.

For the very first time in his existence— He rolled over on his side, reaching out with the arrow still in his hand to also touch the pile of memories of everyone else— Magnus Bane wished that he had been born nothing more than a simple mundane. At least, when they died, their body knew to die with them.