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yellowcanna · 5 years

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Beneath the Dress (♂)

Summary:

(An alternative universe where alpha Dazai never pulled omega Chuuya into the Port Mafia, but instead took Chuuya as his personal dog and hid him from the Mori's eyes.)

The Armed Detective deals with many things within Yokohama. Mysterious cases, supernatural cases, murder cases—they’ve dealt with it all. Each member has seen more weird things than an average person could in their lifetime.

Despite all that, nothing could prepare them when Dazai announced that he would bring his mate in on their latest job.

Yes, Dazai Osamu, the human bandage gobbling machine, failure as an alpha—was mated. Yes. There was an omega in this world that wanted Dazai.

Words such as mated and married never sounded so wrong when put in the same sentence as Dazai. Especially not when the omega turned out to be a gorgeous woman (?) with pumpkin orange hair and piercing sapphire blue eyes.

Pairings: Soukoku (Dazai x Chuuya)

Rating: T

Genre: Crossdressing, humour, fluff

Author: Canna / Yellow Canna

Status: Complete

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Despite all that...their perspective of reality was completely shattered on that faithful day.

It happened on a sunny Friday morning in late spring.

It was a golden weekend. Families were having fun outside; the birds were chirping with the cool breeze blowing into the office.

Inside the Agency, the Armed Detective members were discussing a new case they’ve been tasked with. It was the largest mission they had this year.

There will be an underground auction at the harbour in exactly two days. The auction sells everything, from stolen artifacts to living human beings. It was an organization the Japanese government spent years trying to locate. The auction change places every year it opens, and this year, they came the coast of Yokohama.

Because of the sensitivity of this case and the high possibility that the auction has Ability users guarding it, the Armed Detective Agency was asked to help.

The Agency members were all stressing over this case. They have all the preparations done. Katai had hacked into their system and stole a list of guests attending to the auction. All of them were people in the higher up of society, be it being simply rich, or corrupted politicians.

It was the perfect opportunity to capture all of them at once, but to do so they must send someone to control things from the inside. They can’t risk letting a single person escape. They had to capture the mastermind and shut down this auction for good.

Akiyama Eito was the CEO of Japan’s largest jewelry company. Five months ago a huge scandal regarding said CEO broke out. The company’s stocks instantly fell and the company was now on the verge of bankruptcy.

Akiyama had a son named Akiyama Fumihiro, who was one of the guests that will be attending this auction. According to their information, there was only one word to describe the son.

He was an idiot.

A spoiled, pampered brat enjoying all the luxury his dad's money had brought him. He took drugs, sped on his sportscar, had three cases of hit and run resolved secretly with money and etc.

After his daddy’s company went on peril, this idiot son spent nearly a million just to get his hand on the auction invitation card. He was somehow delusional into believing that as long as he could make friends with the owner of the auction, he could continue his past lifestyle.

Secretly arresting this kind of idiot was quite easy. The members of the agency all went out to capture him, not for his importance on their mission, but due to his striking resemblance with Dazai.

It was quite interesting to watch Dazai’s face spewing idiotic threats such as “Do you know who my daddy is” or “My daddy will hear about this!”

With Akiyama Fumihiro taken out, all that’s left was for Dazai to take his place in the auction. The only problem left was that the idiotic son had registered to bring a female omega companion to attend with him.

The only omegas they had in the agency were Naomi and Atushi.

Naomi was impossible. She wasn't suited to go into such a dangerous place. Even if she was they will have to get her over Tanizaki’s dead body which would be a pain.

Atsushi would have fit perfectly for this job if not for the fact that the omega’s gender was already registered. They thought about dressing the boy up as a woman, but after a couple of tries they gave up on that idea. By the end, the poor lad was almost in tears.

They thought of having Yosano or Kyouka (alpha and beta) disguising as omega, but the security will be strict. No matter how good artificial omega scents are nowadays, it could still easily give them away.

If they don’t bring an omega companion, the people at the auction will question Dazai. Likewise, if they bring an omega with the wrong gender registered.

Any changes will alert the securities. That was how strict this auction was. If they don’t want to risk exposing Dazai, a female omega companion was necessary.

“Dazai!” Kunikida barked at the dark-haired man lying on the couch with a book covering his face. “Stop slacking off and help us think of a solution!”

Dazai lazily pulls off the book and looked to the group gathered around the table.

“It’s easy~” The man yawned as he stretched his arms as if coming right out of a good nap. “I’ll just get my omega to go in as my partner.”

A moment of silence passed by.

And then…the group turned back to discuss amongst themselves, promptly ignoring their strategist.

“I said, I can get my omega to help us with the mission!” Dazai's call was completely ignored.

“You’re not taking Naomi!”

“Hello~?"

“No one said anything about taking Naomi!”

“Anyone listening?”

“Maybe we should shove Atsushi in a dress after all.”

“I saaaaaid—”

“Eeeeh?! No way! That’s never going to work!”

Soon, the discussion just turned into a jumble of noises. Each of them started throwing out random ideas only to get rebuked.

Just when their heated conversations started to turn into an argument, a scent they hadn't smelled before flooded the office.

The group froze. Their mouths stopped moving as they only inhaled through their nose to taste the sweet citrus scent exclusive to omegas. And within this unfamiliar scent, there was another scent. This scent was heavier and richer, possessively dominating the sweet omega scent.

And more importantly, they knew this second scent.

All at once, they slowly turned their head to a certain raven-haired man sitting on the couch. The bandages around the man's neck were unwrapped, revealing a pair of prominent bite marks on each side of his neck.

That was where the source of the scent was flowing from.

Those were mating marks.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!?!?!?!??!?!”

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Omegas were precious creatures.

They were beautiful and alluring beings that can give birth regardless of male or female. Omegas were delicate, so they needed protection.

Alphas were the protectors. No alpha was ever born weak. With their superior physical abilities and heightened senses, these creatures were made for combat.

In the ancient past, when alpha and omega mated, the alpha will provide everything for the omega. They take care of them, protect them and cherish them. In return, omegas will give all their loves to their alphas. It was a pure, uncontaminated relationship until societies are built and people eventually forgot this special bond they were capable of.

Due to their superiority, alphas soon ruled over each kingdom.

Contaminated by greed, money, and lust, they started to see omegas as objects. Alphas began to enslave omegas and use them for pleasure. A single alpha was allowed to mate as many omegas as they like. Omegas at the time were treated no different than cattle raised for slaughter.

It was around that time that betas began appearing.

Neither alpha nor omega, the only gender to define a beta was by male and female. Females were the only one capable of giving birth, but that was it. They were ordinary beings with no higher senses or stronger physic. Due to this, betas were seen as monsters. The churches branded them as the devil's children. When an omega gave birth to a beta, the alpha will kill the child and the omega mother will be hanged as they are contaminated by evil.

However, when nearly all omegas began giving birth to betas, even the less intelligent alphas realized something was wrong.

People began to research and realized that the omegas that gave birth to betas were mostly captive ones. Treated as nothing but playthings, those omegas weren't even marked (or rather not allowed to) when they give birth to children of their rapist. And those children were all born as betas. Even if the omega was marked, if the alpha himself has marked other omegas, then the children of those omegas will also be beta.

This discovery led to some people realizing just how wrong the world had become. Battles took place over the world as people fought to free the omegas from the greedy clutches of corrupted alphas. It was thanked to this that many omegas were able to escape their confinement and survive in the outside world.

Ever since royalties were overthrown and governments were established, the law quickly came into place to protect the few omegas that were left.

With great care, omegas started giving birth to alpha and omegas again. Over time, these two dwindling dynamics slowly rise back up.

In modern society, beta takes up a population of seventy-five percent, Alpha at fifteen percent, and omega at ten percent. While all three dynamics stand at equal right, the law, as well as societies, will always favour the omega. After all, histories had taught them that omegas needed to be treated with care.

While their dynamics had changed over time, one thing never changed.

No matter what, Alphas were always stronger ones. Be it their physical strengths or their intelligence, alphas always stand above betas and omegas. Nowadays, alphas were dubbed as “winners in life”, as they were fated to achieve great things no matter what career they chose.

Miraculously, there was one alpha that defied all these alpha stereotypes, and that alpha's name was Dazai Osamu.

Lazy, bum, hobo, slacker, no-good, scheming, bandage-wasting machine, suicidal maniac…none of these were words used to describe an alpha. Yet, they were all used on Dazai Osamu.

“Dazai? What part of that bandage-squandering machine looks like an alpha?”

— Doppo Kunikida (Beta)

“To be honest I thought Dazai-san was a beta when we first met…”

— Nakajima Atsushi (Omega)

“Genetically speaking he’s an alpha.”

— Edogawa Ranpo (Beta)

“Makes you want to cut him open and examine just how that guy’s an alpha, don’t you agree?”

— Yosano Akiko (Alpha)

“His dynamic is as hard to tell as his past carrier…”

— Tanizaki Junichirou (Beta)

“I still haven’t met anyone that could guess he’s an alpha at first glance!”

— Tanizaki Naomi (Omega)

“In the countryside, Alphas were always the ones that take care of the fields.”

— Miyazawa Kenji (Beta)

“Oh, he’s an alpha?”

— Izumi Kyouka (Beta)

“…Regardless of dynamics, Dazai-kun is an important member of the agency.”

— Fukuzawa Yukichi (Alpha)

Yes, this human bandage gobbling machine, failure as an alpha—was married.

To an omega.

There was an omega in this world that wanted Dazai.

Words such as mated and married never sounded so wrong when put in the same sentence as Dazai.

Soulless, petrified statues waited in the office the very next day. None of them could remember how they even got home after being blasted by such shocking news. Perhaps they didn’t go home. That would explain how none of them remember how they manage to come into the office this morning.

Ranpo was the only one that acted normal. He was munching on his snacks as usual, but no one else seemed to notice him in their mindless state.

Time agonizingly ticked by.

The entire office was drowned in silence as they waited.

The moment the clock struck twelve, the door open.

Coming back into reality, the members finally moved. They all whipped their heads around, wanting to see just what kind of omega would choose that kind of alpha as mate.

Was this omega being threatened?

Was this omega blind?

Was this omega suffering from some sort of amnesia and was tricked by Dazai into marrying him?

What they saw made them turned back into stones.

A slender woman walked through the doorway with her black heels clattering against the green floor tiles. She wore a black, large big brim hat with decorated with reddish-orange flowers. The hat sat slanted over her head, blocking her face and showing only the tip of her chin and some strands of pumpkin orange hair brushed over her shoulder.

The woman’s chin was tilted up in confidence. Her long, black dress swayed with her movement. Occasionally, when she took bigger steps, her long and slender legs could be shown through the opening on the side. A black scarf was tied around her neck and flowing behind her back as she moved.

Even without seeing her face, just from the way she carried herself already gave off the image that the woman was a beauty.

Within her gloved hands, she held a small black purse. Yosano immediately recognized that bag. She had seen it when flipping through the magazine that was released just yesterday. That was the 1001 Nights Diamond Purse.

The female alpha doctor raised an eyebrow. So not only was the woman an omega but she also got a strong background. Normal people wouldn’t be able to afford that kind of money on a purse. Then...why Dazai?

None of them even saw Dazai until the alpha popped into their view and wiped off nonexistent dirt from the couch to let his mate sit.

When the woman sat down and lifted her head, they were once more blown away by her feature.

She was as beautiful as they imagined.

The woman's face was sharp and refine like a sculpture carved out of ice. She got perfectly pointed chin with fair skin and thick lashes framing her eyes to bring out that blue in her pupils. Her eyes were like sapphires, shining vibrantly despite being such a poorly lit room.

Despite the cold and distant aura the woman was giving off, her eyes were burning vibrantly with fire and defiant. It was an unusual contrast, yet it was such a contrast that made her all the more eye-catching.

On the base of her long and slender neck, just below her scarf, were two mating scars. One on each side, the scars was the perfect replication of Dazai’s teeth mark. From those marred scent glands, the alluring scent of the omega’s flowed out, carrying the mixture of her alpha.

“Honey, meet my co-workers.” Dazai sat right up against his mate, practically gluing himself to her side as he held one of her hands in his and planted a kiss on the back of her wrist.

The sight made the corner of Kunikida’s glasses cracked.

Atsushi's brow twitched as he stared at the raven who was openly flirting with his own mate.

“From left to right is Tanizaki-kun, his sister Naomi-chan, the detective of our agency Ranpo-san, our physician Yosano-sensei, Kenji, Atsushi-kun, Kyouka-chan!”

“Is it just me or were our introductions really short?" Atsushi sweatdropped. Dazai even said all three of their names in one swift breath.

The woman didn’t say anything, but her blue eyes shifted to a certain blond who never got an introduction. His brows were twitching and a vein could be seen pulsing beneath his forehead.

"Oh, you don't need to bother about him, my love," Dazai purred, grasping both the woman's hands and leaned over her so much that the beautiful woman had to lean away. "You only need to look at me."

“HEY!” Kunikida shouted.

The rest of the members stared flatly at the pink hearts practically gushing out of Dazai. The alpha was saying every single cheesy line while the woman just looked away expressionlessly as if she couldn't even bother sparing a glance to deal with the idiot.

Atsushi couldn’t help but wonder just how those two become mates.

“And this!” Dazai wrapped his arm around the woman’s slender waist and pulled her into his side. “Is my lovely wife, Chuuna-chan!”

SNAP

Atsushi jumped when a sudden chill crawled down his spine.

He heard it.

He definitely heard a snap just now. As someone sensitive to how other people think, Atsushi keenly caught the sound of someone’s rationality snapping in two. He couldn't tell where it came from though. He looked over the woman's cold and stoic face, then to the other members of the agency. All of them looked like they had swallowed a fly.

The only one that looked pissed was Kunikida due to Dazai’s fooling around. Perhaps that was from Kunikida—Atsushi convinced himself, though something just didn’t feel right.

“So~” Dazai waved at the group. “Briefing over the mission?”

The visible vein on Kunikida’s forehead twitched, but he held it in and took a seat on the opposite couch of the pair. The rest gathered behind the couch, curious about the woman that was Dazai’s mate. Even Ranpo was very interested.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chuuna-san. I am Kunikida Doppo.” Kunikida introduced himself politely to the woman. “We appreciate your help in assisting with our job. This will require you to go undercover into an underground auction. The security is extremely tight and there are possibilities of Ability users guarding that place. Are you certain you can take this job?”

The woman just stared at Kunikida with those firm, unwavering eyes. Kunikida felt goosebumps crawling all over his skin just from this woman’s stare. Just keeping eye contact with those sharp blue eyes made the beta break out cold sweats. The air even felt thinner and harder to breathe.

If he had any doubts about whether or not this woman could take the job before, it was gone now. This woman was strong. She was stronger than anyone he had ever met. Just who exactly was she? Kunikida couldn't believe that he had never heard of someone like her before.

“Ah, Chuuna-chan isn't the talkative type. Just give her a basic briefing on what she needs to do and she'll have it done."

Kunikida wanted to kick Dazai out the window, but the woman’s presence made him held his foot back. He flipped open his notebook and began reviewing the mission with the omega.

The mission was simple. Dazai and his wife will infiltrate the auction and steals the data of all of the auction’s clients and dealers from the database. The police want to capture every single trail connected to the auction, include every single person behind it.

It was an extremely huge task, but that got nothing to do with them. Their job was just to get the information they needed.

When the day of the mission finally came, the agency fell into another shock.

Dazai showed up, wearing a white suit with black dress sure and orange tie. His hair was groomed and he looked…decent for once. Handsome even.

No one in the agency even thought this was possible. They didn’t even know that Dazai even owned another set of clothes let alone something that looked so costly.

Chuuna stood by Dazai’s side.

She wore a long, red trumpet gown with her wavy orange hair were wrapped up in a bun on the back of her head—decorated with freshly cut crimson camellias. Her slender hands were fitted into a pair of long black leather gloves that reached past her elbow matched with black lace-up heels. A long scarf made of white fox pelt wrapped around her neck and flowed down her finely curved figure.

Around her bare shoulders was a large white coat protecting her from the chilly spring air. The coat was too large to be the woman’s, so it was obviously Dazai who put it over his mate’s shoulders. The way the large coat wrapped around the petite woman gave off a sense of protection from the outside world.

The alpha smoothly took his omega’s hand and led her to the white limo.

“Let’s go.” Dazai opened the door like a gentleman for his mate to get in first before following after.

Kunikida’s brows twitched, but he managed to swallow the urge to retort as he pulled open the driver’s seat.

��Oh, Kunikida-kun!” Dazai suddenly called, popping his head out of the window. “Drive slowly and steadily! What if my darling Chuuna chips a nail because you recklessly made a turn or went over a bump?!”

“DO YOU THINK WE’RE HERE FOR FUN?!” Kunikida all but screamed, not caring if Chuuna was present or not anymore. That bastard! Did Dazai think they're going for a picnic or something?!

Fuming, Kunikida went into the driver seat and slammed the door shut. He started the engine and stepped on the gas as they headed for their destination.

Never was the blond so thankful for driving a limo. With a limo, he wouldn't have to endure Dazai’s harassment. The two passengers on the back weren't able to see him, but Kunikida certainly can. The limo was installed with a camera showing driver the situation in the passenger seat in case of emergencies.

Unfortunately for him, Kunikida underestimated Dazai's ability to irritate people. Even without the alpha purposely pushing his buttons, Kunikida was on the verge of vomiting rainbows five minutes into the drive. To his defense, anyone would when they hear the things Dazai was saying to his mate.

Things such as;

“Oh Chuuna! There isn't a word in the dictionary for how beautiful you look tonight.”

And,

"Look only at me, alright? Otherwise, I would be jealous of all those eyes looking over Chunna's gorgeous body."

To things like,

“Your hand looks heavy, Chuuna. Here, let me hold them for you.”

Kunikida had to control his grip so that he wouldn’t rip the wheel off in frustration. What was that idiot doing?! That's not how to start conversations with a lady! No, scratch that, they were on a mission, not for him to throw his omega dumb cheesy lines!

And what’s more, the entire time the alpha was blabbering, the omega didn't even spare that idiot a glance! She was looking out the window, completely ignoring her alpha who was practically rubbing his face into her palm like some sort of lost puppy crying for attention.

Were they seriously mates? Kunikida was skeptical, but mating marks and scents can’t lie.

Unable to look anymore, Kunikida shut off the camera. He had a feeling if he continued to listen to these nonsenses, he will kick Dazai right out of the car, mission or not.

At the back of the limo, burnt umber eyes shifted to the direction of the camera where the small green light had disappeared, indicating that it has been turned off.

“Kunikida-kun sure loves peeking. I wonder if it’s your beauty that mesmerized him.” Dazai said teasingly as he looked at the woman sitting by his side.

The red-haired woman was still looking out the window, completely ignoring him. Dazai smiled, not bothered by the slightest as he warmed the woman’s hand in his own.

“Jokes aside, you do look stunning tonight.”

The woman scoffed.

“I am being serious.” Dazai chuckled as he rolled his omega’s glove down until that small wrist of hers was exposed and placed a kiss there. “It’s been a while since the two of us went on a mission together. I’m very happy.”

The woman finally turned her head from the window and gazed down at that man whose lips were still on her wrist. She pulled back her hand and shoved the raven’s head away.

“Liar, I can tell you’re happy as well!" Dazai said teasingly as he fixed the glove for his lover. “But compared to that, I missed having you by my side.”

The woman gave him a pointed look.

"Just meeting during the night isn't enough! I want my omega with me during the day too! Isn't it time for you to leave underground?"

The woman huffed and turned back to the window.

“I know, I haven’t forgotten that I dragged you into this. I don’t regret it though.”

After a long while, the woman turned back to Dazai with a questioning look on her bright blue eyes.

“Of course I can understand.” Dazai laughed. This time it wasn’t his overly dramatic or teasing laugh, but a genuine one that came from the bottom of his heart. He reached out and tucked a loose strand of orange hair behind his mate’s ear. “I know everything about you after all. Your timing, your attack, your behavior, your habits, what you like…I even know the tempos of your breathing. What kind of mate will I be if I can't even tell what you're thinking?"

The woman seemed taken back before she hurriedly whipped her head away. Dazai chuckled as he watched the tip of the woman's ear slowly reddened. Unable to help himself, he leaned down and bit into that soft earlobe, causing the omega to suck in a shuddering breath.

When they arrived at the destination, Kunikida got off the car and opened the door for Dazai and his omega, playing the role of a dutiful driver.

All around, cars were parked in a straight line, all of the drivers doing the same as they open the door for their employers.

Men and women, all dressed up in fancy gowns came out of their cars. If an outsider sees this, they would probably think it was just some rich people having a get together on a cruise. No one would even think that these people were all dealing in shady business.

The moment Dazai exited the car, all eyes were drawn to him.

Most of the guests are well over their thirties, so suddenly seeing someone so young and handsome has caught many off guard. Women blushed at the sight of such a handsome alpha, while the men and alphas gawked at the gorgeous omega accompanying him.

Whispers traveled around as Dazai wrapped an arm around his mate’s small waist and pulled her close in an almost possessive way.

The people around parted ways to let them by, staring as these graceful pair walked across the red carpet.

Kunikida never wanted to beat Dazai up so much. The raven's omega was standing out like a sore thumb. Or rather, both of them were completely standing out! This was supposed to be a stealth mission! How are they supposed to perform stealth if they stood out?!

Whatever Kunikida was thinking, Dazai didn’t know. But even if he did, he wouldn’t care.

They entered the cruise after shoving the guards their invitation card. The securities there performed body check on every single guest. Phones and all electronics were compensated. After all that was done, they were asked to provide their fingerprints and DNA. Having all prepared that beforehand, Dazai and his omega got in quite easily. The two were led to a ballroom with the other guests. It was a place for them to relax, as the auction won’t start until the cruise departs into the sea.

Being the center of attention, it didn’t take long for someone to come up and talk to them.

“You are Akiyama’s son, aren’t you?” An alpha in his forties said as he walked up to the pair with a glass of champagne in hand. “I know your father. He’s an old colleague of mine.”

Dazai immediately recognized this man. He had memorized every guests' information and their connections to the Akiyama father and son. This middle-aged man was the chairman of Chiba University Hospital, Omura Hayato.

“Omura-san. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Dazai greeted politely with a slight dip of his head to show his respect.

“What happened to your father's company was a pity.” Omura sighed. Although he was talking with Dazai, his eyes were roaming all over the redhead standing beside him. More than once his eyes had stopped on the small, A-cup bump on her chest and the curve of her hips.

“But I can’t understand what was going through your father’s head. To think he accidentally killed one of his omega staff while attempting to rape her. If he wanted an omega, he should have just use money to buy them! I can't understand why he wasted so much effort on that kind of commoner. Don't you agree, boy?”

The man’s voice wasn’t soft. If anything, he purposely spoke loud enough for the bystanders watching them to hear.

“You are correct. I too disagree with what my father did.” Dazai replied professionally, never once did the smile on his face disappear.

The lack of reaction from Dazai clearly put the man off, but he still stuck around, making small talks until he finally got to his point.

“A lovely omega you have here.” He complimented as the lust in his eyes became deeper. His eyes swept by the woman’s mating marks, but the fact that the woman seemed to have mated wasn't off-putting for him in the least.

After all, to these people—to every single one of them here—omegas meant nothing. To them, omegas were just toys used for pleasure. Even in this auction, there will be omegas auction out as slaves. In the past when alpha enslaved omegas, some of them will mark the poor creatures as a show of property right, not mating, so these people thought the same.

Despite being all dressed up, Dazai was still had on his bandages underneath his suits. His mating marks were hidden under those bandages while his wife's marks were exposed for all to see. The people here will only think that the dark-haired alpha brought his specially trained slave to show off tonight.

They all know how stupid and spoiled this son of Akiyama Eito was. They had a fair share of laughs at all the scandals Akiyama Eito had to cover up for this idiotic son. While Dazai may act decent and polite, the other guests just brushed him off as him putting up a fake front.

“A beauty indeed…I’ve never seen such fine omega.” As Omura said that, he reached out a hand towards the redhead’s delicate face. Just when his finger almost brushed against that soft-looking skin, a glass of red wine intercepted that greedy hand’s path.

“My apologies.” Dazai smiled as he held the stem of the glass in his hand gracefully. “But did I say you could touch her?”

The man’s face burned bright with anger that someone so much younger than him dared to talk to him like that. However, Omura knew he can’t cause too big of a scene, so he cleared his throat. Muttering some words to Dazai before he turned to leave.

"This glass is dirty," Dazai said, looking down at the wine before he casually placed it onto a tray of a passing waiter and took a new one. He offered it to his omega who elegantly accepted it.

The redhead looked down at the red wine, gently swirling the fluid around to let the aroma rise. Then, she pressed the rim of the tall glass against her rose-red lips and tipped the cup upward.

The people around stared at the woman’s fluid movement.

Such elegance matched with that stoic, alluring face gave the audiences a feeling that this omega came from a wealthy family like themselves. An omega like this was different from any other omega slaves they had played with. Men and alphas felt the urge to wreck this woman, to throw her under them and strip her of dignity and hear her begs them for mercy.

As fantasy spread through these men’s mind, the pheromones thickened within the grand ballroom.

It didn’t take long for another man to come up to them, then another, followed by another.

They all greeted Dazai and spoke to him, yet all their eyes were trained on the orange-haired omega. More than once they hinted on buying the gorgeous omega off his hand or even just renting for a day, but Dazai just smiled and dismissed them all.

After an hour of enjoying themselves at the party, the auction was finally going to commence. Rather than having all of them enter at once, the guests were taken to the auction one by one while the rest waited in the ballroom.

When a waiter came up to inform them that it was their turn, Dazai took his omega by the hand and followed their guide.

They came to the lower part of the ship and into a huge stage that took up the space of two floors. The hall circling the stage was made with glass panels. There were private rooms on both floors for the guests to participate

They were lead down the ship and into a stage surrounded by private rooms for each guest where they can enjoy the auction in private. Once they settle into their room, they won’t be allowed out until the auction ends. Any needs they can just ask their waiter for them to bring into their room. Once the auction ends, they will be taken out of their rooms one by one just like how they entered.

This way, no one will know who was in which bidding room bidding for the item.

There was a hundred percent privacy for guests and what’s more…

Dazai’s eyes narrowed at a row of men dressed in waiter uniform standing against the side of the wall like statues. While they looked like ordinary waiter dutifully waiting for orders, the raven-haired alpha could tell they weren't waiters at all.

They were trained killers.

Should anything happen during the auction, they will immediately take out every single guest trapped in their rooms. While each room looked sturdy, the walls facing the hall was hollow inside. A normal gun could easily pierce through the thin woods and into the target inside.

"Here's your room, sir." The waiter bowed as he held the door to Dazai’s room open.

“Yes, of course!” Dazai smiled as he let go of his omega. "May I ask if the person behind the auction will also be watching?"

“Of course, the boss will be watching to ensure the auction goes smoothly.” The waiter replied without a beat.

No matter how much the waiter tried to hide it, Dazai keenly caught the belittlement hidden within that waiter's eye.

“Then can you put in some words for me to your boss?” Dazai asked, the calm mask he was wearing broke, showing eagerness. “This omega here, I’ve trained her for years. I’m sure the boss will like it. There are some things I wish to discuss with him, could you put in some words for me?”

“I’m afraid that is against the rules, sir.” The waiter said with a troubled look. But once more, the way those eyes roam over the redhead did not escape Dazai’s eyes.

Dazai discreetly stuffed a rolled-up bill into the waiter's hand before shoving his omega forward. "I'm sure your boss will be pleased with her. She is the finest omega you'll find anywhere in the market! I've trained her in many places; she knows how to make a man scream.”

The waiter continued to act hesitant, but after some push from Dazai, he finally complied. He did not take Dazai’s money. He just hurriedly gave him back the bills and assured him that he will get the job done.

With a satisfied smirk, Dazai walked into the room without giving his omega a second look.

Once the door closed, the waiter speedily called over two other waiters to watch over the closed door.

Then, under his co-worker's jealous gazes, the waiter grabbed the omega roughly by the arm and dragged her away.

The waiter sped down the hall as if he couldn't even wait for a second longer as he brought the omega into the upper floor and into an old storage room.

The waiter threw the omega into the storage before stripping off the cameras attached on him. He disabled it and set it aside on a shelf. He closed the door shut behind him as the clicking sound of the door locking resonated through the small space.

"What an idiot!" The waiter laughed, finally revealing his real nature as he leered lustfully at the omega in front of him. After all, as alpha, omegas were too alluring for them to pass the chance. "Your dumb master seems to think he could use you to get close to the boss, what a joke! He doesn't even understand his own position." He mocked as he undid his tie and unbuckled his belt.

"My name is Adam, memorize it because that's gonna be name of your alpha from now, little omega." He chuckled as the alpha's thick musk filled the room.

The omega had her head dipped, slowly backing up until she hit the wall.

The alpha chuckled at that as he advanced on her, mouth already slaving from the scent coming from the delectable omega before him.

“Your master said you know how to make a man scream, let see if that’s true!” And then, the alpha eagerly closed the last distance between them, reaching out to tear the omega’s dress off. However, at the last second, his hands were grabbed by a pair of slender gloved ones.

Sounds of crackling bones came from the alpha's wrists before those delicate-looking hands completely crushed all the bones inside. The flesh was distorted from the tight pressure as blood burst out from those wrung wrists and splattered over the floor.

The waiter was in so much pain that he could only let out dry screams until this throat doesn't even work anymore. He had collapsed on his knees, held up only by his broken hands still being gripped by the omega. He was wheezing as he stared at his mangled wrist in horror.

“You want to scream, then I’ll make you scream, master.” Came deep, husky voice came from above.

The waiter shakily looked up and was met with a pair of chilling blue eyes looking down on him as if looking at a piece of garbage.

CRACK

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!”

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

After every honorable guest has settled into the private rooms, the auction finally began. On the stage, a beautiful lady would walk out, carrying all types of items while a man at the counter shouted for price. Behind the two was a huge screen, showing all the information about the item being auctioned.

A waiter walked along the windows, looking down at the items currently being bid on. It was sixteen complete sets of organs, all in perfect condition with different blood types and genders. It was obvious where the auction had gotten these organs from, and it certainly wasn't from donors.

The waiter stepped into the elevator. He pulled out a key card from his pocket and swiped it over the key slot before pressing the highest level button.

Once arrived, he strolled out into the bright hallway. He looked around before finding a door with another key slot. He swiped it over, causing the door to open, revealing the boat’s control room.

“Who are you?” One of the men looked up from their work.

“I got orders from the boss to deliver a message." The waiter replied as the doors slowly closed behind him…

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Dazai watched impassively as an omega was put up onto the auction stage. The omega was a male. Thick chains wrapped around his neck like a dog with a leash as he sat in the center of the light and cameras. His eyes were glazed over, clearly drugged and dressed in transparent fabric that hid nothing of his pale body.

The man at the auction was going wild, screaming out prices that just kept stacking higher and higher.

It appeared that omegas were very popular amongst the guests tonight.

The door opened up right then, revealing a waiter holding a tray of appetizers Dazai had called for. The appetizers were a plate of king crab legs, raw oysters, a glass of wine with apples and grapes.

The waiter set the food onto the table, turning to leave when Dazai called out to him.

"Hold it!" Dazai commanded without even looking away from the auction. He clicked his tongue in irritation as he slammed against the bidding button, stacking the price on the omega even higher, but he was soon outbid once again. “My crabs aren’t even deshelled, these apples and grapes aren't skinned either. You expect me to eat these?!”

“My apologies sir, I will bring them back to the kitchen and have them remake it.” The waiter said, about to take the tray away when Dazai stopped him.

“Forget it! You stay here and peel them for me!” Then Dazai slammed his fist against the bid button again.

The waiter paused. He looked back to the other two waiters guarding by the door. When he has gotten the signal, the waiter picked up a slice of apple and began to peel the skin off with a fruit knife. Seeing that, the other two waiters outside closed the door to allow their guest privacy.

The moment the door shut, the waiter dropped the apple and stabbed the knife into it.

“Well now, that’s not a very good service. I should reconsider the tips I was going to give!” Dazai said dramatically, losing the cold expression he just had as he smiled at the waiter standing over him.

The sound of knuckles crackling echoed throughout the room.

“I was just kidding!” Dazai stretched out one long arm and wrapped it around the waiter's slender hip. With a pull, he had the petite waiter fitting perfectly onto his lap. "If you feed me though, I’ll consider giving you lots of tips tonight~”

He whispered slyly into the waiter’s ear. He watched as the tip of the other man’s ear turned red before the standard white gloves of the waiter pushed his head away.

“Stop messing around!” A deep voice hissed. “The mission—”

“Is over,” Dazai finished for him, holding out a hand. Knowing what he wanted, the waiter reached into his pocket and handed over a USB drive. “All we need to do is to relax and watch the show now.”

The waiter didn’t speak for a long time. Blue eyes turned down to the auction, just as the bidding for that male omega ended.

"He'll be saved," Dazai promised.

The waiter huffed as he reached for the wine on the table. Before he could touch the bottle, his hand was caught by a bandaged one, causing him to look over to the alpha in irritation.

“Now what?”

“I want crabs.”

“Hah? Go get them yourself!”

"But you can break the shells faster than me!" Dazai whined.

Sighing in irritation, the red-haired man grabbed a crab leg. With a simple press of his fingers, the shell completely shattered, revealing the tender flesh inside.

“Here," The redhead snapped as he held the crab to the dark-haired alpha.

Dazai smiled as he gently took that small wrist within his hand. He guided the other man's hand until the piece of crab was against his lips. He took a bite into the juicy meat and slurped it out of the rest of the shell.

Blue eyes stared at the way the alpha ate. He grabbed another one, breaking the shell just as easily before feeding it directly into Dazai’s waiting mouth. On the stage, the omega boy had been taken away. Now, the guests were bidding for an omega girl.

From the corner of his eyes, the waiter watched the amount these rich people poured into that poor girl. It was sickening.

Licking the crab juice from his lips, Dazai was finally satisfied as he looked at his lover whose attention was on the auction.

“So…when are you going to change back, Chuuna-chan?”

“AH?!” A vein popped over the waiter as blue eyes glared darkly at the man beneath him. “Why the hell do I still need to wear that stupid getup!? Didn’t you say the mission’s finished?!”

“The mission itself is complete, but there’s still one more role for Chuuna.” Dazai explained, dropping his smile as he regarded the other with a serious face.

“I threw that stupid dress away." The redhead gritted out. He couldn’t hide his cringe at the memory of that dumb thing he was forced to wear.

"Oh, no need to worry about that! I have it all prepared!” Dazai sang as he pulled out another dress from under his coat.

The waiter’s brows twitched as he stared at the white dress filled with flowers and laces in disbelieve. He jolted out of daze when he felt hands starting to unbutton his shirt.

“The hell you’re doing?!”

“Helping you change?”

“I can do that on my own!”

With that, the bathroom door slammed shut, leaving Dazai all alone in the room. The raven-haired alpha stared at the closed door for a long time before letting out a soft chuckle.

He held up the bottle of wine and smirked after looking over its brand and years. He knew his mate would pick the most expensive one from the winery.

He grabbed two glasses and poured out the wine.

Dazai watched as the female omega was brought off the stage. That was the last of the human trafficking. Now, they were into newly developed drugs that aren’t even out in the market. Dazai popped a grape into his mouth as he waited for his lover to come out. Occasionally, he would tab the bid button when the time was just right to show his participation.

Dazai was swirling his wine in his glass when the bathroom door opened. He looked up and smiled at the beautiful woman that had reappeared before his eyes.

The white tea-length dress was practically made for his omega with the way it showed off his narrow waist and slender limbs. Dazai had every single one of those dresses custom-made just for this day, and the results were better than any of his fantasies. His lover never ceased to amaze him with that beauty of his.

“Here, love," Dazai called, patting his lap as if the omega was some kind of dog that would jump on his command.

A frown appeared over the orange-haired male. The rejection on his face was clear as day.

"I need to add the finishing touches," Dazai said innocently with large, wide eyes.

“Why do I have to sit on your lap to do that?”

“Do you see any other place to sit?”

The redhead looked around and realized that his mate was right. There was only a single couch in this entire room and Dazai was occupying it. Even the table where he set the food was small, not big enough to fit in a person.

“You…don’t tell me you planned this.” He hissed, feeling the urge to pummel his alpha into the wall. He wasn’t going to believe that this auction was so lousy that they can’t even afford to give their guests proper sofa and tables.

“Of course not!” Dazai urged, patting his lap even harder. “Hurry up!”

The redhead gritted his teeth. He told himself to calm down. He can beat this shit up all he wants after they get home. He had promised Dazai to listen to all of his order on this mission, so he will do that.

Crimson light outlined the petite figure. With a simple leap, the omega flew across the room and landed right onto the raven’s lap. Dazai’s arms snaked around that perfect little waist and pulled the redhead back so that his bareback exposed by the dress was pressed against his chest.

"Don't move," Dazai whispered into the other’s ears when the omega tried to get up.

He carefully held his mate’s hand and pulled out a pair of white gloves from his pocket. Slowly, as if treating some kind of delicate and important task, he pulled the glove over his mate’s lovely hands—one finger at a time.

Blue eyes softened as the omega watched the alpha’s ministrations. The redhead began to relax into his alpha’s warm body and allow himself to be taken care of.

After Dazai finished setting the gloves over his mate's hands, he pulled out a bracelet and secured it over that pale right wrist. After that, he pulled out a diamond necklace and earrings, putting them onto his mate carefully to make sure everything was perfect. Then finally, he pushed the pumpkin orange bangs over the omega’s right ear and clipped it up with two simple white clips.

The redhead’s face was slightly flushed at his alpha’s tenderness. Blue eyes darted everywhere but his mate in an obvious sign of shyness.

Dazai grinned as he gave that cute earlobe a nip, causing the other to jump in surprise.

“You—…what’s that?” The omega blinked when he saw his alpha slowly untying the bandages around his left wrist. He didn’t notice at first, but now closer, he could tell those weren’t bandages at all, but white ribbons made of fine silk.

“For your neck," Dazai answered. “We have to hide your Adam’s apple after all.”

The omega didn’t say anything after that. He leaned forward, giving his mate space for him to tie the ribbon around his neck.

The fabric was extremely soft and with the alpha’s gentleness, the redhead didn’t feel the slightest bit of discomfort.

Dazai wrapped a couple of layers of ribbon that beautiful pale neck and tied a large bow to the side. Fixing the bow up just right, he pulled his mate back against his body and his hands slid down to those smooth, well-defined legs.

"W-what are you doing?!" the redhead spluttered, pressing the dress down when the alpha suddenly pulled his right leg into the air.

“Shoes of course! What did you think I was doing?” Dazai asked innocently as that perverted hand stroke down his bare leg. “Now come a bit closer, I can’t reach your foot like this.

“Wait, stupid!” Chuuya yelped when Dazai pulled his knee against his chest so he could grab his foot. The omega shivered at the feeling of the cold air stroking his bottom. He never felt as embarrassed in his entire life as this very moment.

Chuuya felt the familiar weight of woman's heel slipped onto his foot and tied around his ankle. When Dazai was done, he slowly put his mate's leg down, making sure to slide his hand back up that smooth skin as he did so. Then without any warning, the redhead had his other leg pulled up as his dress pooled around his waist.

Although Dazai was slipping on the white heel for his lover, his eyes were focused on that pale hip exposed to his sight. He could see the smooth linings of the lingerie he had sacrificed two ribs just to get his mate to put on before heading out.

It was a plain white bikini made of satin.

The way that thin piece of fabric slid against that milk white skin made the saliva in the alpha's mouth increase. When the omega shifted around as he tried to cover his private area, the silky fabric of his underwear was pushed up a little, revealing a red kiss mark a certain alpha had left from last night. Saliva nearly spilled out of the alpha's mouth at the alluring sight.

The moment he finished putting on the shoe, the weight on his lap was gone. Dazai sighed in disappointment as he watched his lover landing ever so gracefully on those five-inch heels with the white dress fluttering around him.

Dazai got up, grasping his mate's hand and guided him to the bathroom to stand before the wide mirror.

“What do you think?” He purred into the omega’s ear.

The redhead stared at himself with wide blue eyes. When the two of them standing stood together in front of the mirror-like this, the omega realized how matching their outfits were. It wasn’t just the colour scheme, but also their style—especially the way Dazai did his hair.

The alpha’s hair had combed back on his left side, and he had done the same thing for the redhead’s right side.

It was like they were wearing a lover’s set of clothes.

Colours rose to the redhead’s cheeks at this realization. It was even enough for him to forget that he was dressed up as a girl. Just as he turned to the alpha and parted those rosy lips, the ship shook with the loud sound of explosion coming from below.

“What was that?!” The redhead gasped, using gravity to steady himself on the floor.

"Looks like we're not the only ones that infiltrated into this auction." The alpha said as those sharp eyes narrowed.

“Who—” The redhead’s words got cut off when the ship shook again as another explosion blasted from somewhere below them.

“No good, they’re trying to sink the ship!” Dazai said urgently. “Chuuya! Get the ship to the beach!”

“Tch! Grab onto something, shitty Dazai!” Chuuya ordered as crimson outline spread through his body. Kicking off the floor, he flew across the room, kicking the door right off the hinge as he came out into the hall.

The moment he did, the sound of gunfire echoed across the cruise.

The disoriented guards that were shaken from the blast instantly found a target the moment Chuuya appeared before them. Bullets flew towards the red-haired woman dress in white. The moment the bullets touched her, it all froze in midair as if held onto by an invisible force.

A wide, devilish smirk tugged apart those rosy lips. With a spin kick, all the bullets were sent back flying to the guards. The moment white heels touched the ground, the omega was off into the air, shooing into the enemies at a speed faster than their bullets. He easily destroyed them with kicks and punches.

Just as Chuuya was about to thrust a leg into another guard, all of his hair shot up upon the heavy static rumbling in the air. A split second later, the redhead let out a choked cry when electricity zapped through his entire body.

“Now, now, that’s no way for a lady to behave.” A grating voice sang as Chuuya stumbled, his body momentarily numbed from the shock as he glared up at a blond, rat-faced man standing in front of him dressed in those standard waiter uniform. His body was practically glowing with electricity dancing around his body like docile pets.

The man let out a high pitched laugh, licking his lips as he eyed the omega before him.

As Chuuya tried to steady his shaking hands, sharp blue eyes darted around to see a few more waiters coming up to surround him. These people must have been hiding somewhere waiting for an opportunity to attack. The air around these newcomers was different from the ones he had taken down. That means these are the Ability users guarding the auction.

“Heh…saves me the trouble of finding all of you." Chuuya snickered as the numbness in his body finally subsided. These Ability users weren't expecting such a deep voice to come out of the feminine-looking omega, so they were all taken back.

Taking his chance, Chuuya appeared in front of the rat-faced man in a blink of an eye. The man couldn't even react before he was sent flying across the hall. Crimson light outlined his body and slammed him with a force so strong he went right through the floor.

Without a pause, Chuuya spun on his heels, about to face the rest when his ankle twisted.

“Damn it!” Chuuya gasped, cursing his mate as he watched an Ability user sent out a blast of fire towards him.

Chuuya could already feel heat licking at his exposed skin as he watched those flames came at him. Just as he was about to activate his ability to pull himself away from the fire, a warm arm wrapped around his waist, breaking his fall as Chuuya saw a bandaged hand stretched towards the flame. The moment the scorching fire touched that hand, it disappeared in a flash of light.

“Getting rusty there, partner.” Dazai’s voice came from above his head.

“This wouldn't happen if you didn't make me wear this stupid getup!" Chuuya growled. He put his hands onto his lover’s shoulders, using the tall lanky alpha as leverage as he flipped over the alpha and slammed his heel into an ability user that tried to sneak up behind them, bashing him right through the floor to join his teammate.

Dazai smiled as he sidestepped a bullet. He grabbed his omega's hand and intertwined their fingers. With a pull, the two of them switched place. With his gravity, Chuuya sent the bullets that had aimed for Dazai flying back while Dazai nullified some weird, jelly-like substances shot at Chuuya.

The two of them fought with grace. Their movements were completely in sync like a dance as they mow down the ability users one after another.

After the enemies were taken care of, the pair made it out into the deck where Dazai stopped and let go of his lover’s hand.

The redhead flew towards the sky on a small piece of board ripped off of the deck. The ship was already half-sunken by this point with the rear of the ship completely in water.

"That's why I said we should have done this from the beginning." The redhead smirked, spreading his arms as crimson light outlined the entire ship. Without even breaking a sweat, the omega lifted the ship out of the greedy clutches of the sea. Changing the gravitation, he sent the ship hurling towards the beach.

From the sky, the redhead was able to see the people gathered at the beach. Police cars were flashing blue and red lights and he could even see the familiar faces of his mate’s co-workers.

“He knew this would happen?" The redhead frowned. He looked to the deck, eyes searching for his mate but Dazai was nowhere to be found.

Just as the ship slid onto the beach, the omega changed the gravitation again and made it come to an abrupt stop. With his ability, he deformed the bottom of the ship until it was completely flat so that it can stand upright. After letting it sink deep into the sand and making sure it wouldn't fall over, he released his power over it.

Tossing aside the piece of wooden board he was standing on, the redhead was about to just drop down like usual when his dress was blown upward by the strong wind. The feeling of the cold air flowing between his legs made him tremble as his face flared up in red.

His legs clamped together tightly and was about to shove his hands between his legs to push the dress down when he remembered there were people around. He had to act natural. He can’t do such an embarrassing pose. Chuuya convinced himself that it was fine. From their angle, they couldn't possibly see anything.

Chuuya slowly and carefully drifted down. With his power, he added weight to the dress so it wouldn't fly up to his face as he came down. He took slow and steady breathes, hoping that the embarrassment on his face hadn't been seen.

The people below hurriedly moved away at the sight of the woman descending from the night sky. Wearing nothing but white, she was practically glowing beneath the moonlight. Her hair lightly swayed in the windless air and her dress twirled around those slender legs.

At that very moment, there was only one thought that ran through everyone’s mind.

This woman was an angel.

As Chuuya flew down, he saw a raven-haired man in white suit standing on the sand gazing up at him with those soft umber eyes. He extended a bandaged hand up towards the omega like a gentleman offering a lady to a dance.

Without thinking, the redhead reached out. He placed his hand onto the alpha's larger palm. Long fingers wrapped securely around his hand before blinding light burst from their joined hands. Chuuya let out a small gasp as his control over gravity was nullified. The omega fell into the alpha's waiting arms as his white dress fluttered around them.

Under the silvery moonlight, the alpha and omega stood by the seashore dressed in white and embracing one another. It was truly a sight to behold.

“Welcome back, my dear," Dazai said affectionately as the redhead blushed from within his mate’s arms.

Chuuya opened his mouth, about to say something back when the sound of someone clearing their throat cut in.

"Ahem!"

The redhead hastily jumped out of his alpha's arms and turned to see rows of people standing there gawking at them. At the very front were his mates' co-workers from that detective firm.

A silver-haired alpha dressed in kimono and wooden sandals walked up to them. He was the one who had interrupted just now.

“Well done on your missions." The alpha complimented as sharp eyes gazed down at Chuuya. “It was thanks to you that we have successfully captured the targets and the data containing all of their trades. We were also able to safely apprehend all the people on the ship, including eight Ability users that were taken down. You have my thanks.”

Chuuya opened his mouth but snapped his jaw shut when he remembered that he was still pretending to be a girl. In the end, he just nodded as a response.

“I have heard about your situation from Dazai-kun.” The man continued. “Nakahara Chuuya, former King of Sheep.”

Blue eyes widened for only a split second before reverting back to normal. Chuuya looked towards Dazai who was smiling all innocently at him. The bastard, what in the world was he planning now?

"During the crossfire between Port Mafia and the Sheep that had allied with the Gelhart Security Service, you faked your death to escape from Port Mafia’s eyes. Since then, you've gone underground together with Dazai-kun. I have seen the reports of missions you had performed together with Dazai-kun secretly behind Port Mafia’s back. Dazai-kun also vouched for your excellency in handling with paper works as well. The Agency could use someone of your skills. Welcome to the Armed Detective agency. You may begin your work first thing tomorrow morning. I am sure Dazai-kun will show you the steps.”

“…Hah?” Chuuya could only utter dumbly.

Unfortunately for him, the silver-haired man didn't care to elaborate. With his speech said and done, he walked off, leaving one petrified Nakahara Chuuya.

“Um, congratulation!” A voice snapped him out of daze as Chuuya blinked and found the rest of the Armed Detective Agency members gathered before him. The one who spoke just now was that boy Dazai picked up with the tiger ability.

Chuuya had been there that time in the warehouse when his mate confronted the boy. Dazai had told him there would be something fun and called him over. To avoid being noticed by his mate's co-workers, he had been sitting on the rooftop watching everything from there.

“Your ability was amazing, Chuuna—I mean…Nakahara-san!” The boy continued, looking at the redhead with sparkling eyes.

“I’ve never seen such strong ability before!” Yosano commented, thoroughly impressed.

“That was gravity was it?” Tanizaki asked timidly.

The group's voices began to turn into a jumble of noises. Through Chuuya’s ringing ears, he couldn't pick out anything but congratulations and welcomes. Before he could process everything that had happened, his hands were grasped by a larger pair…but ones that definitely did not belong to his mate.

“WELCOME!” A certain blond with glasses was literally in tears as he shouted these words to him. “Finally! Finally I won't need to deal with that human waste of bandages anymore! Welcome to our Agency…really…welcome…!"

Chuuya sweatdropped as he watched a grown man broke down into sobs right before his eyes. If he remembered correctly, this was Dazai’s…partner?

The corner of Chuuya’s lips twitched. He had a pretty good idea what this was about already…

“Ku-ni-ki-da-kun~” Dazai’s singsong voice cut in as Chuuya found a pair of arms wrapping around his shoulders from behind. With a hard pull, the omega stumbled into his alpha’s chest as his hands slipped out of the weeping beta’s.

“Could you not go around molesting my darling Chuuya?” Dazai asked with a bright smile. Though he was smiling, there was an eerie shadow cast over his eyes with veins throbbing beneath the thin skin of his forehead.

Kunikida kept on crying as he wiped his face into his sleeve, completely oblivious to his partner's (soon to be ex-partner) threats. The blond was too overjoyed to notice anything around him anymore.

"So there you have it, everyone!" Dazai exclaimed to the rest of his comrades. “My mate, Nakahara Chuuya, will be working in the Agency starting tomorrow, please look after—”

“JUST WAIT A FUCKING DAMN SECOND YOU SCHEMING BASTARD!” A very husky and unmistakably a male’s voice roared throughout the air, causing every single bystander to turn into stones as they stared at the source of where that deep voice came from.

Even the President who was quite far away staggered when he heard the voice.

The only one that didn’t seem the slightest bit shock was Ranpo. He was cackling as he took in everyone's reactions as if this was exactly what he came here for.

That beautiful memory of the angel in white drifting down from the night shattered in every single one of their hearts. Right now, that ethereal being was clutching onto the raven-haired alpha's collar and shaking the life of him while screaming in a man’s voice, “What did he mean hire?! When did I say that I wanted to work at your place?!”

“But Chuuya!” Dazai spluttered as his eyes swirled from being shaken so violently. "Didn't you miss going onto mission together? Instead of hiding in the dark helping me with jobs like back in the old days, we can now work together all the time!”

“Like hell I want to work with you every single day! I thought it was weird, you’re the one behind those explosions on that ship, weren’t you?! And what did that guy meant by I'm good with paper works? You shitty vagabond! Don't tell me you're planning on pushing all of your works onto me!”

“Chuuya! How could you accuse me of something like that?!”

“You were doing that way back in your Mafia days, you bastard! Don't tell me you forgotten how you brought home stacks after stacks of your paperwork every fucking night, threatening me to do them for you!”

“CHUUYA!” Dazai suddenly shouted. His outburst made Chuuya jumped as his grip over the alpha’s collar loosened.

“I want to work with you again, Chuuya," Dazai said seriously as he cupped the redhead’s face within his hands. He leaned down towards the omega until their forehead touched. Chuuya unconsciously held his breath as he stared into those warm brown eyes gazing at him, portraying nothing but love and adoration.

“This time, I don’t want to keep you in the dark anymore. I want you to come out into the light. What do you say, Chuuya?” He whispered so softly that Chuuya could barely hear over the ocean breeze.

It wasn’t the first time Dazai mentioned working in the light and all that. Every time he did, Chuuya would just brush him off.

On that faithful day, after his comrades betrayed him, Dazai gave him an offer. Join Port Mafia, or serve under him. Should he choose the latter, Dazai will use his position within the Port Mafia to help him get all the information with regards to Arahabaki. In addition to that, Dazai also promised him the members of the Sheep’s safety.

Chuuya didn't like the raven-haired alpha at the time, but he didn't like the idea of being part of the Port Mafia even more, especially after such betrayal. With nothing left, Chuuya chose the second option. As much as he hated Dazai, from just their short time together Chuuya knew the man was one to keep his words.

Dazai indeed kept his words.

First, he pulled the Sheep out of the battle while both the Mafia and GSS were distracted by one another and sent them away. After that, he faked Chuuya’s death before the eyes of his men and handed in a false report to his boss. Since then, Chuuya had always been in living under Dazai’s arrangement.

Ougai Mori never investigated the matter. It wasn’t like Mori completely trusted Dazai. If anything, Mori was always watching Dazai in fear that the youngest executive would one day overthrow him from his position. The reason was simply because Chuuya wasn’t important enough to have him take any actions.

Chuuya’s ability was strong, but not so strong that Mori would waste efforts to dig out a person Dazai had hid. To Mori, Dazai’s existence was more important than Chuuya, so creating a rift between them over Chuuya simply wasn’t worth it.

However, all that was built upon the fact that Chuuya and Dazai got no relationships.

That was why even when Dazai started working at his new job, Chuuya chose to keep hiding.

The Port Mafia might be alright with their ex-executive jumping to the Armed Detective Agency, but what if Chuuya got involved? If he appears, then the Port Mafia might not quietly watch from the distance anymore but would do everything to take Dazai back.

As mates, they were essentially one. By taking Dazai back, not only would Port Mafia regain their most powerful strategist, but they will also have their hands on the vessel of Arahabaki.

They would become a two in one deal which would be too tempting for the Port Mafia to pass. Anytime the Port Mafia needed Chuuya’s power, all they need to do was to put a gun against Dazai and Chuuya would be forced to do their bidding. Likewise, Chuuya could also be used for Mori to control Dazai.

That was one thing that can never happen.

Chuuya rather live in the shadows for the rest of his life than to become Dazai’s leash. Besides, his current lifestyle wasn't bad. It was very laid back...though sometimes he did found it boring, especially with his mate having to work most of the time.

Tonight was probably the first in a while that he felt this good. He missed using his Ability and getting some actions to stretch his muscles.

Chuuya sighed as he pulled his face out of his mate’s hands. “The Port Mafia—”

“We will deal with them when the time comes. As long as we’re together, Mori-san won’t lay a finger on you. Not without risking the entire organization.”

“Aren’t you confident?”

“Of course.” Dazai smiled. “Because Chuuya is my mate.”

“Hmph…” Chuuya snorted, seemingly much calmer than before.

“By the way, Dazai…” Chuuya breathed softly against his mate’s lips.

“Yes, love?” Dazai breathed back tenderly.

“There was no reason for me to change back to this getup, was there?”

A moment of silence passed between the lovey-dovey couple.

“Chuuya!” Dazai pulled back with a loud gasp as if he had received some sort of huge shock. With a face full of seriousness, he clasped his omega’s hands tightly within his own.

“You were like an angel descending from the heavens.”

Chuuya’s automatic Dazai translator: “Your underwear is sexy.”

“GO TO HELL YOU STINKIN' MACKEREL!"

Dazai could have avoided the attack easily.

He knew his lover's timing and patterns, evading his attack was as simple as breathing. However, for the first time, the alpha was completely rooted in his spot.

His eyes were blown wide and as a curtain of white parted before his eyes. That beautifully shaped leg of his mate was seemingly coming at him in slow motion. Dazai’s eyes hungrily raked over that smooth and elastic skin. His eyes trailed higher and higher until his caught a glimpse of that heavenly sight just before the side of a white heel made contact with the side of his head.

CRACK

Later on, someone from the Agency looked back at this moment and asked Dazai why he made the omega change into a dress knowing he would get beat up for it.

The alpha’s response was this…

"I’m going to get kicked either way, why not get some benefits out of it~?"

— Dazai Osamu

The veins on Chuuya’s head throbbed as the omega watched his mate drew a perfect arc in the sky and fell headfirst into the sea. The redhead didn't know why, but he felt even more irritated despite landing a hit just now.

With a huff, the omega turned to leave.

The mackerel could swim back for all he cared. He was too tired for this shit. The moment he gets home, he will use his power to mangle the lock to all their doors and windows so a certain someone wouldn’t be able to lock-pick his way in. After that, he will jam the doorbell, close the curtain, blast their home with loud rock music, throw out all of those canned crabs and get some well-deserved rest in his and Dazai's king-sized bed.

Each step the red-haired omega took, the ground beneath his five-inch heels would split and cave in from the force. Nakahara Chuuya walked through the petrified statues that were the Armed Detective Agency as the morning sun slowly rises from the horizon.

From that day on, a new rumour began to spread throughout Yokohama.

An unstoppable duo has formed within the Armed Detective Agency that even the Port Mafia was wary of.

They called them,

Double Black.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #dazai x chuuya #dazai #chuuya #dazaixchuuya #fanfiction

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butididnottried · 5 years

Text

“The Rise od Skywalker” spoilers.

So, i saw it. I was on a whole night marathon and saw all three movies one after another. I actually like “The Last Jedi”. Like, i really like it. I know all issues and problems that people have with this one, i understand it, and it’s still Very Good to me and there will be some comparisons. Also, i’m not sure if this is important, but SW is not a part of my childhood and i have no nostalgic feelings toward those movies. Hi there, i’m an average fan?

So.

Tbh i expected a pile of thrash on fire after what i read about this movie, because people are only complaining, without really recalling anything good (but i also avoided big and long and detailed reviews to avoid as much information as i can xD). And there are good thing in it, and i had surprisingly a whole amount of fun while watching it. But still, at the end, overall this whole movie can be summarize into CONFUSED WHAT.

Good stuff:

- J. J. Abrams know how to invoke a fell and spirit of grand adventure. At the beginning this move has a crazy amount of it, until Rey split from Finn and Poe. They just need to go after this mcguffin dagger to find another mcguffin, they need to go to this palce to find that or someone, they need to go somewhere else and there are problems but there’s a solution, but they need to go to third place to again find someone. I would be kinda annoying if we wouldn’t have all three of them together - Rey, Finn and Poe. Finally! I really like them all being together, being friends, bantering, being dumbasses and smartasses and me gusta very much those dorks.

- They do not conform that, but let’s face it - Finn and Poe are married. There’s no heterosexual explanation for their relationship in this movie. I’m aware that in script they weren’t particularly wrote like that, and maybe it’s because actors were playing their character in this way, but there’s another explanation. A few months ago in review of “X-Men: The Dark Phoenix” i read that Hollywood just don’t know how to wrote real male friendship, full of emotions, and they end up using romance tropes and cliches. And Finn and Poe are perfect example to uphold that theory. Like, really, look at them, they’re bantering like an old couple.

- I really like Reys path in this movie. Seeing all three movies together shows how much she grow with every next installment. In TFA she is nice and joyful character, but kinda basic; in TLJ she learn more about how world works, about herself and choose her own path. And now in TROS she is very conflicted, torn apart and sacred of her own powers, while trying to stay herself. And Daisy Ridley really hit the spot with her performance.

- Leia had an lightsaber? And was training with Luke? And now she was teaching Rey? Like... FUCK YEAH?! And also Finn? Force sensitive? YEAH BABY!

- Rey and Kylo fight on ruins of Death Star surrounded with raging ocean and those exquisitely animated giant and heavy waves. So good? SO GOOD.

- Palpatine went full Thor and every cell in my body was hollering with laughter. As soon as it’s possible someone need to edit this “unlimited power!” yell to this scene. Please.

- ahahahahaha, Hux, you magnificent, pathetic, petty asshole, ahahahahaha.

- this is not about movies, but there was a fake fanboy at my screening. Between TLJ and TROS this dude behind me was explaining sequels to his friend and i was typing a message to my friend, so the only thing that i heard was “the first movie did Abrams, you know, the one that made LOTR, and the second one did Johnson , and he is ooold.” I have no idea what to do and think about this.

- new ways of using force. Hell yeah. Force the shit out of this. Stronger force skype? Totally. Teleportation things on purpose through force? Absolutely. Being almost in two places at once through force. I’m totally here for that. Rey being probably the most competent person in force? Kick their asses baby, i’m holding yo flower!

- MERRY!!!???

??? stuff:

- apparently reylo is incest, because Rey and Kylo are related. Really? How? Is there in any movie any, even smallest, hint that Skywalkers and Palpatines are blood related? I have no idea.

- The way how droid are treated in those movies is troubling. Are they alive? Are they self-conscious? Or they’re an artificial intelligence so developed that they can with no problems fake that?

- sooo... Kylo. I love this problematic asshole. Well, in case of genocidal murdered word “problematic” is very mild, but whatever. What i read about this movie, people were raging because woman (Rey) exist only to heal a man (Kylo) that was abusing her, but i don’t see that this way. Like, not at all. And how i see how Rey and Kylo plot is developing makes it hysterical, especially after TLJ where Kylo was established as main villain. Because in this movie with every scene Kylo exist more and more as support to Rey story, he’s an walking exposition for Rey and motivation for her to doing things. He was less and less his own character, and was more and more existed for Rey. Like, he totally could be put in the fridge. xD When Rey stabbed him i thought “oh, so they’re killing him now? When were not even close to the end? Well, ok, i do not see a more purpose for him in this plot, so yeah, kill him” but then Rey saved him and i was like ??? because what more you want him to do? And then he disappears for a big chunk of time and show again at the end and he even wasn’t needed here and don’t do that much? Just... lol. Ok, he did That, because it’s “Star Wars” and SW just Works. Like. That. or it’s not Real and True “Star Wars” boo-frikin-hoo. But on that later.

- as a example for Kylo being a lesser character and more of a tool for the sake of the plot is fact, that in TROS Darth Tantrum is weirdly collected and put his shit together. At the beginning when he finds Palpatines lair and learns that this dude was behind all of this, behind forming First Order and all voices in his head, Kylo should lost his marbles and just murdered Palpatine. But even if somehow not, at the news that Rey is emperor granddaughter he absolutely should throw the biggest tantrum in all history of tantrums and not only obliterated Palpatine but also this whole place. But no, he made A Plan and decide to once again to “propose” to Rey. Like she didn’t rejected him definitely in previous movie and like they both not decided that when they meet next time, only one of them are going to survive. But hey, let’s go with this “i want you by my side to rule the galaxy” plot again. :/

- and there they go with that helmet again. In TLJ scene where Kylo destroys his helmet it’s a very powerful moment. Not only for him, but for direction with which the story would go. Because he is not Darth Vader. Because we do not need another Darth Vader. Buuut, on the other side i can let this a pass, because since he agreed to join Palpatine and once again is going to lead The Knights, he needed to wear this helmet again to prove this loyalty and make them trust him. So, hard pass on that. And tbh, that ugly mask looks a lot better with those bright red cracks.

- And also Leia, that was also there only for her son, because as a mother she can’t be anyone else. Aaand... idk about that. Leia force connected to Kylo so he could turn back to the light? She sacrificed herself for him? Eeeeh... it was weird scene. And there’s no clear explanation why? Only Kaz Manata said that this will use Leias all life force that she has? Did i missed something? Did movie forgot about something? For me it looked like Leia was distracting Kylo, because it look like Rey was going to loose this fight, she was more and more angry, and in this moment she would fully go on the dark side. So Leia saved Rey, she felt Reys struggle. At least i it’s how i interpreted this scene, because it’s one of the most baffling one. Just ???

- there’s whole sith culture. Just. There is. But if there’s only two of them at most at a time, they probably exist for far longer to develop all of this, and to build all of this, and to be cooperative with each other? Which is not their strongest trait? And all these people in emperor throne room were past siths force ghosts or real people?

- apparently being a sith and making lightning came out of your palms is genetic? At least i understand that like this. Because the reason why Rey shot lightning while trying to rescue Chewie was not because she was angry and mad and doubting, but because shes Palpatine? What?

- this is a very minor thing, but when Rey enters Death Stars ruins there’s stormtroopers armors lying almost everywhere, but there’s not even a one bone?

- oh wow, a planet get blow up with even more miniaturized death star ray. And they have hundreds of these. And hundreds of destroyers. And no one notices there was whole space army built. How? I can understand that they ignored the space nazis rising again because, well, just look what is happening in real life, but using money and resources at this scale is however something else, very expensive and i can’t believe no one noticed this.

Bad stuff:

- Rey is Palpatine. What. I mean... what? It’s just... uuugh... Why are you making me thinking about Emperor having sex? I only hope that was some crazy nazi fangirl that totally wanted to fuck him. Or maybe it was artificial insemination? Well, doesn't matter, it’s BIG EEEW in every option. And i don’t want to think about other way. :/ At least it makes sense why Emperor procreate? In other stories al these evil dudes that want to live forever and rule everything are having children just... because they have children. For drama or something, because story needs someone to betray this evil dude, or some other eye-rolling stereotypical reason. Like, having offspring especially to posses their bodies and live forever in this way is not very original, but it’s something.

- TLJ was like “you can be from nowhere, you can be from the bottom of society, you cen be the poor and miserable, without family or amazing heritage, and you can still do amazing things, you can climb up and make a difference, you can be better and better, you can make your own story despite your awful background” and TROS be like “fuck that, viva la royalty, you need a powerful heritage, you need a powerful and important bloodline or you’re nothing”. Oh, how nice is that. :/

- that opening crawl. It’s bad. Just bad. Even worse than “The Phanom Menace” babbling about economy.

- PALPATINE IS NO FUN AT ALL!!! HOW DARE YOU NOT MAKING IAN MCDIARMIND NOT ENJOYABLE AT ALL???!!! SHAME ON YOU ABRAMS!!! SHAME ON ALL OF DISNEY!!! ...well, ok, this was this one small thing, BUT STILL!!! AUGHR!!! I’m so mad about this. I was expecting not a very good movie, but at least i was hopeful that emperor would be such a treat.

- pulling emperor out of nowhere was an mistake. They should stay with what TLJ established and made Kylo main villain. No redemption, no bullshit like “there’s still light in him”, no Ben Solo, no forgiveness, no nothing. Just Rey beating the shit out of him and killing him. End of story. But no, “Star Wars” can’t be like that, it’s not how this world works, THIS IS NOT REAL “STAR WARS” WAAH WAAAH WAAAH. You’re a genocidal murdered? A space nazi? You’re ruling a regime that is weltered in blood of the innocence? Doesn't matter, there’s always hope. Just do one small, good thing and you will be at peace. Fuck off with that. At the end of TLJ when Kylo entered that mine, and rebel survivors entered deck of Falcon, and Rey and him were still force connected, and she cutted off him because she understands that there are things that can’t be forgave, and there are people that do not want help and just don’t want to be better and fuck “Steven Universe Future” did that a lot better on eleven minutes, and SW series is struggling with this since beginning. Because there’s white and black, good and evil, and there’s nothing in between, and when someone comes from one side to another they become a completely different person because yes that how it works. And people are totally here for this because it’s for kids and it needs to be simple and we can’t let this story grow beyond that stupid absolute duality. I know that there are people that were on far right but they changed and become better and good for them, but if you want to do that in your story, show the struggle of this difficult path and let this scum survive and face the consequences. Take at least a minimum of responsibility of what you’re showing to kids. :/ But nooo, he was stabbed, his mom died, his dad showed up and said... something, and now Kylo is dead, and Ben alive again. Sarcastic yay. Also, if you’re repeating dialogue from first movie, in almost this same situation, but in a different context, EARN IT. Second also, that kiss. Eeeeh... If you really need to be Like That and made some weird understanding between them, maybe just make they touch their foreheads? And oooh, yes, i almost forgot. At my screening when Kylo flopped at the ground, died and vanished, the whole audience laughed. But it wasn’t a loud, merry laugh, but a nervous and awkward, like “did i just saw this cringy shit?”. Amazing.

- they remembered about Knight of Ren. And did nothing with them. They just were showing up here and there through the whole movie without any purpose. But that’s Johnson fault, that he did not include them in TLJ. No wonder that they did not have time for them in TROS. Just waste.

- the amount of fanservice is killing me. I have nothing against it, if it’s just a nice treat for fans here and there, but when a whole movie is dedicated to it it’s just not very bearable. And plot suffer from it, because instead of write a good story they’re focusing at how to connected these thing from original trilogy.

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janiedean · 6 years

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idk if you've ever talked about this, or if someone has asked before, but do you think it's possible that brienne could be the "younger, more beautiful woman" from cersei's prophecy? I just read a post by someone who had a theory about that and while I'm not fully convinced, it also makes a surprising amount of sense. the "younger" bit is obvious and as far as the "more beautiful" part is concerned, it could mean different things (like "beautiful on the inside" or since beauty is subjective, (c)

(c) it could mean "subjectively more beautiful", maybe to jaime or something). because the prophecy does say the "younger, more beautiful woman" would take from cersei everything she holds dear/loves, and I know she loves power and herself most of all, but it /could/ include jaime. and tbh, brienne has already "taken" jaime from her, since he went with her instead of responding to cersei's letter. also, if he's the valonqar, it stands to reason he's going to be the one to kill her, and I (c) always thought if that happens, it'll involve brienne somehow (like jaime will kill cersei in order to save/protect brienne somehow). so do you think there is a possibility that brienne /could/ be the "younger, more beautiful woman" from the prophecy? I know everyone thinks it's dany, but I think it'd be much more interesting if it turned out to be brienne. especially because cersei would never in a million years see it coming. and I'd love her utter shock lol.

first thing: my pal @robb-greyjoy once wrote excellent meta about the specific possibility of brienne being the younger and more beautiful queen and jaime actually getting kingship and honestly it’s a lot better put together/thought than any theory I have on that specific prophecy so I’ll just go and say that his opinion on the subject is imo fairly well-thought/sourced and honestly if it happens it’s probably gonna go like that for those reasons.

second thing: the maggy prophecy is the one on which I don’t have VERY SURE ANSWERS (differently than the aa/tpwp one) because it’s worded VERY vaguely and cryptically for very good reasons EXCEPT that I have a pet crackpot theory I’ll discuss at the end of this. buckle up because this is gonna be long as fuck but when it comes to prophecies I like to basically tear that shit apart by comma XD

now, what I mean is, we have:

“Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.”“Will the king and I have children?”

"Oh, aye. Six-and-ten for him, and three for you. Gold shall be their crowns and gold their shrouds, she said. And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.”

now, this shit is worded VERY carefully for a reason (as tyrion said: PROPHECY IS A MULE THAT KICKS YOU IN THE TEETH) and when it comes to asoiaf prophecies I think the most important part when analyzing them is that the solution is never the one the characters think or that seems the most obvious to them. like, tldr but when it comes to azor ahai/tptwp I’m 100% in the jon snow camp because of the death that COMPLETELY FULFILLS THE REQUIREMENTS GOING BY BACKROADS/HINTS AND NOT BEING OBVIOUS and like... for US it’s obvious but for people in westeros? JON SNOW being azor ahai is basically wtf forreal, it’s not narratively obvious for THEM. anyway never mind my opinion about jon being AA, that was to explain how I go at this kinda shit. now, sadly for us, the OBVIOUS canon elements to decipher the maggy prophecy are not all there because again, let’s go in order:

“Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.”

now this bit already is problematic af because if we go at it STRICTLY LINGUISTICALLY:

‘until there comes another’: this already is a minefield because in english it could both be ‘another queen’, or ‘another woman’ or ‘another person’ and it’s not specified at all whether that person is male or female, just younger and more beautiful - now, I once used that loophole to write crack fic where JON was actually that person but I mean... it could absolutely be a man as far as grammar says, so like this younger and more beautiful person could be a) a new queen, b) another person either male or female we just don’t know;

‘take all that you hold dear’: problem is, now here we’re on another level of interpretation because that implies deciding what cersei holds dear. now, I absolutely do not subscribe to the school that she holds dear her children bar joffrey and I think she thinks she holds jaime dear but the only things she holds dear are a) herself, b) the iron throne, c) power, d) her position. so, do we go with what cersei thinks she holds dear, or what she really holds dear?

and that’s problem one.

problem two, the other bit:

“Will the king and I have children?”

this also has a SHITLOAD of language to unpack, specifically:

‘will the king and I have children’ + ‘sixteen for him and three for you’. obviously robert had sixteen bastards and she had three with jaime but she asked WILL THE KING AND I HAVE CHILDREN so if maggy’s replying separately like will he have them and I will I have them it adds, if it’s implied that cersei’s three are with the king then it gives more credit to @robb-greyjoy‘s theory about jaime getting kingship at some point (even if I think that’s going to go to jon eventually but there could be others in between);

‘gold shall be their crowns’ also implies that myrcella gets to reign before she inevitably dies but nvm we can at least suppose that all of those three kids die period BUT if we include them in the ‘all that you hold dear’ part then younger and more beautiful whoever they are has to be somehow involved in it but I would exclude that option tbqh;

‘when your tears have drowned you’ has to be after losing all she holds dear because cersei crying for any other reason is out of the question;

also, if her aerys wildfire plot is also book canon (and I think it is) then it has to be after that, too, so we can put it safely either at the end of six or early seven;

‘the valonqar shall wrap his hands’: now this one is THE minefield. first thing: we can absolutely and utterly exclude that it’s tyrion because cersei thinks he is (same as we can exclude margaery from the younger and more beautiful pick of people because cersei thinks it’s her), and not just because cersei is REALLY unreliable in the sense that until now ANY TIME she’s assumed something it turned out to be the contrary, but because as stated above: the person is not who the narrative would make characters assume. AA is jon snow and no one in westeros would even consider it (melisandre HAS R’HOLLOR SPELL IT FOR HER AND SHE DOESN’T GET IT) and the valonqar is no one obvious. now, I used to think it had to be jaime because the text specified he’s younger than her technically and because she doesn’t expect him to be at all BUT there’s also a few reasons why I don’t know if jaime’s the most likely candidate now - I prob. had too much time to think about it BUT...

a) jaime doesn’t have hands, he has just one, and choking someone with a fake hand is usually not a good idea if you don’t want a fight;b) cersei is convinced that they’re going to die in a murder-suicide dumbass way and him killing her is still half of it and eeeeh idk;c) jaime does not need any further trauma tied to her tbh I mean I don’t think he’d gain anything by killing her and certainly not catharsis;d) I’m 99,9% convinced that jaime and brienne post-stoneheart go looking for sansa together (remember that he hasn’t been seen for weeks when cersei asks where the hell he disappeared at the end of adwd) and swearing fealty to her together and going north which would put jaime way out of the way geographically (sure he could come back later if there’s a book equivalent of the cersei/jon/dany meeting in the pit but TO KILL CERSEI SPECIFICALLY esp. if at that point he’s left her for brienne for good? dunno.) also I’m also 100% convinced that the prophecy bran had in agot where he saw sansa in a snow castle with three people defending her from a giant is jaime/brienne/sandor vs gregor unless I remember it wholly wrong but nvm;e) jaime’s thematic journey is also to get the fuck away from cersei and have his own life and idk if being the valonqar works with that;f) choking is... a fairly personal and cruel method of killing someone so unless this is metaphorical (possibly) idk if I see jaime who has been seen favoring clean, quick deaths and wanting one for himself would kill someone by choking when it’s slow, painful and he’d have to literally watch her life disappear from under his hands, and that someone being CERSEI I mean even not loving her anymore I can’t see him wanting to make her suffer when killing her if he did that at all;

also: it says ‘the’ valonqar, not your valonqar. cersei thinks it’s HER valonqar. but maggy never said that;

moral of the story: it could literally be ANYONE’S FUCKING YOUNGER BROTHER not necessarily hers;

and on top of that............ large mega extra spoiler: no one especially not maggy hasn’t said that the valonquar and younger and more beautiful aren’t the same person. like, I might be reaching here, but like.... you can’t rule that out.

so like, at the end of this entire delirium I think we can reasonably say the following:

cersei’s going to lose her crown before she inevitably dies;

her downfall will have to be tied to someone younger and more beautiful than she is but we don’t know if it’s a queen or if it’s not;

she’s dying choked or anyway suffocated and whoever’s doing it is someone’s younger sibling not necessarily hers;

tommen and myrcella are dying before she does;

it’s not tyrion;

it’s sure as hell not margaery.

now, again, we can reasonably suppose that her trial in the book ends like the one in the show ie she blows up the sept with AT LEAST the high sparrow and margaery inside it. and that’s like all about it.

now, again: I do like the idea of brienne being the younger and more beautiful person that takes jaime away from her, but I highly doubt it’s likely if it means her being QUEEN or taking cersei’s actual place, but if everything cersei holds dear also means power and her throne..... I don’t know how brienne is gonna do it. I mean, out of any woman in the run she’s the one with most likely chances and for those reason I refer you to damien’s meta above because like I 100% agree with that reasoning given that it happens, but as stated before if she’s off with jaime doing knight shit and saving sansa and hopefully getting him laid it might cause issues. I also would exclude sansa categorically bc she’s going north and that’s where her story’s headed so she’s not coming back to KL to take cersei’s place and dany seems way too obvious too me and also I don’t think cersei’s lasting until dany even gets to westeros in the book timeline imo. sure dany’s a valonqar, but also.... why the fuck would dany choke cersei when she can feed her to drogon? I mean, still more likely than sansa or marg (who’s toast) but less than brienne and still not exactly working out.

that said: as far as I personally am concerned, I’m more leaning towards thinking that the valonqar is a man but not cersei’s (also because to choke people you have to be strong and brienne choking cersei is out of the question she wouldn’t do that she’d give her a clean death if she had to kill her) and I’m not excluding that the valonqar is also younger and more beautiful.

NOW, thing is: at this point anyone is a good candidate. I mean, again, with these elements I could give you a mostly convincing case of fucking jon snow being the valonqar AND younger and more beautiful that would crumble on itself the moment we’d go back to the choking because jon wouldn’t choke her to death he’d have no reason, but other than that: jon’s younger, book version jon’s most likely more beautiful than she is ON THE INSIDE AT LEAST (show version is way prettier lmao), jon has the best claim on the iron throne among the current people if you’re a targ sympathizer or if stannis dies along with shireen (probable tho not like in the show) so if he takes the throne he would take away everything she holds dear. AND jon is actually a valonqar if you consider him rhaegar’s last son.

except that as stated it makes no sense with the choking and time-wise it makes no sense, right?

right. so now I know we’re wildly beyond the original purpose of this question but follow me a moment because I have a crackpot theory about this that MIGHT ACTUALLY NOT BE SO CRACKPOT.

step one: we have stated that the valonqar has to be a male younger sibling of someone’s who would have very good reasons to choke cersei. and we established that younger and more beautiful takes away everything she holds dear which to me is not jaime but her throne. we also can reasonably assume margaery dies when cersei inevitably explodes the sept and that tommen/myrcella die after SOMEHOW.

step two: who is someone’s younger sibling who is alive in the book and who would want to choke cersei for revenge and who is reasonably near king’s landing at this point in the narrative? idk but this dude is not dead in the book:

I mean, would work, right? knight, certainly not weak, cersei’s sent him on a death mission and has written him for dead, would certainly want to avenge his sister disfigured or not. could work as younger and more beautiful too except that he’s most likely disfigured now, but I mean, how the fuck would loras even do it?

step three: who are the two assholes who are technically about to invade storm’s end? aegon vi targaryen and jon connington. what happens after they most likely take it? they realize that stannis’s residence was actually dragonstone or most likely move on to dragonstone. who is on dragonstone?

yeah, exactly.

step four: so let’s say that meanwhile news arrive that cersei blew up margaery and tommen’s dead. loras most likely doesn’t appreciate. also let’s remember that aegon’s requirements to get into his kg are ‘you should be willing to die for me’ and that’s it and loras was ready to die for tommen but I MEAN NVM THAT.

step five: let’s say loras decides he’s Done and wants revenge so he teams up with them to turn his cloak on cersei and helps them get to king’s landing - possible, especially since no one would stop them with stannis being north.

step five: is aegon vi targaryen younger and more beautiful than cersei? most importantly, does he have a claim to the throne (nvm if he’s real or fake it’s not important now)? even more important, varys is in king’s landing keeping cersei’s ruling on a fucking respirator because he’s waiting for aegon and jonc to get there and he needs her there because she’s a weak ruler and she’s insane so people would of course want her deposed and varys has been planning that for fucking years. long story short: aegon vi targaryen fits all the younger and more beautiful that will cast you away parts of that prophecy and cersei doesn’t even suspect that he exists, while loras fits perfectly the valonqar part of it and would have very good reasons to want to choke her to death if she killed his sister. and even if loras was not the valonqar... aegon is someone’s valonqar (rhaenys’s) and like he probably wouldn’t have reasons SPECIFICALLY to choke her to death but I mean if cersei went off about his mother or something like that.... still more probable than jaime given all of the above.

conclusion, at the end of this goddamned mess of a novel: the younger and more beautiful person who’ll cast her away and take what she holds dear (her throne) could very well be aegon and the valonqar could be loras.

idk if I’m betting real money on it but I think I have a pretty solid case here. IDK GUYS.

tldr: I like the brienne theory but I’m skeptical on how it works and while I absolutely would not bet real money on the above, I think it’s...... more textually plausible.

thanks for coming to my ted talk and sorry for having gone completely off the rails with this question but if it actually happens I want it written down somewhere that I actually had thought this through XD

#asoiaf meta #valonqar theory #aegon vi targaryen #loras tyrell #janie writes meta #IDK IF I INVADED SOMEONE'S TAGS BUT I'M KINDA VERY PROUD OF THIS REASONING SO #ch: cersei lannister #ch: jaime lannister #ch: brienne of tarth #jaime x brienne #long post for ts #Anonymous #ask post

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erinlasgalen · 6 years

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I should post my Yuri on Ice fics too ~

I realized this today lol.

Sooo, enjoy one of the fics I wrote back when the anime was still ongoing xD

This is who I am, just follow me!

After the disastrous party, Yuuri eats pirojki, gets kidnapped in the dead of night by a 15 year old secret fan, gets lost in snow, sings a popular (among skaters) song and acquires a new nickname. Not necessarily in that order.

–

It was snowing heavily in Moscow, coating everything and anything in a white blanket. It almost looked like the Earth itself was falling asleep under the lull of the crescent moon that was sparkling with a sneaky glint. It was 4 in the morning and the streets were as quiet as a mother who put her baby to sleep after hours of lulling…

Not even a single murmur could be heard.

“NOOUUUUU!”

Well, except for that unholy hoarse scream that could have woken up the whole neighborhood, that is, if they weren’t walking by the secluded highway that looked like the main setting for a horror movie scene with all the snow around.

What would have looked like an angry grandfather dragging his drunken grandson home for punishment for fooling around with young maidens, was actually a figure skating coach/trainee pair that had gotten a bit lost (not without the immense help from said trainee ) after the party they had disappeared from hours ago.

“I don’t waaaaant t’do another interview”, slurred the younger one, trying to get away from his mentor as fiercely as a drunken kitten, or a piggy, some might say.

Now this boy – well, MAN, was Katsuki Yuuri, Japan’s top figure skater, who always qualified for the finals of every championship there was and always lost spectacularly to everyone. Getting the last place was like his special karma or something. As if he was cursed to always qualify and fail for the whole world to see and laugh.

Nerves, they sure can get to you…scary! Get a grip, Katsuki-san!

Currently, he was cold, wet (partly, his feet were soaked through due to lousy old boots that needed to be changed ASAP!), hungry, and still quite drunk.

“Like hell you don’t!” growled the older man, tightening his vice grip on the boy and dramatically dragging him along the vast nothingness that was Russian Snowfall in the dead of night, or morning.

Whatever.

Now this charming eyebrow (yes he has extremely weird eyebrows that actually grow like that! Talk about hawk eyes…maybe all Italians have unique facial features?) man, was muttering profanities under his breath in a mix of broken English, flawless sexy Italian and extremely weird Japanese ( as if he learned it from watching anime … who the hell talks like that?)

“Not after what you pulled off today at the party! You were supposed to be serious and calm and collected, someone who can deal with anything!” he ranted, pace intensifying along with the force of his grip. Yuuri whimpered. And to think it was him who convinced the heartbroken skater to come to that party…

This man, well, in Yuuri’s eyes a demon currently, was his coach de la italiano, Celestino Cialdini, or “Ciaociao” for short and fluffy. Mind you, the nickname absolutely did NOT come from Phichit’s family dog, King, who coincidentally happened to be a chowchow. Not at all. He was strict, always to the point and very hard to deal with at times. Also his eyebrows were distracting. And his eyes. The whole image always screamed ‘Lock-on, I am a predator, I’ll eat you alive’. Well, unless you fed him spaghetti or something.

“-..ked, well nearly naked! What was going through that idiot brain of yours at that time? Eh? Eeeeh? Not to mention the pole dancing! Why was there a pole anyways? Who brings a pole to a formal afterparty!!!“

Ah, it seems we got sidetracked a little, let’s get back to our merry duo now, shall we?

“What was that?!” roared the man, ponytail swishing back and forth with the speed they were gaining. It seemed that Yuuri had mumbled a small reply to that rhetorical question, trying to keep his balance and free himself at the same time while stumbling around in knee deep snow. Luck was on their side or they both would have faceplanted long ago had it been deadly ice.

They would have made charming snow angels! Or devils…

“I said, t’was Chris…”

“Ah, yes”, a snort. “The sparkly eyelashes from Switzerland. Are they all like that? Their men are more feminine than their women!”

Yuuri’s eyes unfocused, remembering a certain Russian skater and their dance. He opened his mouth to say something, probably resembling an "Oh, Victor~” but was cut off with a harsh tug to the middle of the street.

“And you are still not getting off the interview! Come on we need to get a ride! WE are going back to the hotel, YOU are getting some sleep and in the morning YOU and your FABULOUS FLAMENCO self will be giving an interview. And don’t you DARE dodge questions!”

Yuuri gave his best (he practiced on his own sister!) puppy eyes. But of course his coach was immune.

Italians, I say…

Ciaociao narrowed his eagle eyes and grunted, “And no, I will NOT be answering anything in your stead.”

“Bu..but it’s 4! Like, morning 4! Super late night em..early 4!!!”, the whining intensified. “We’re never going t’ find a taxi or ANY car anyways! Can we just…um, you know, just a, uh…”

Well, that really was a problem. Quite a big one, it seemed, I mean, even the angry coach went silent and loosened his grip somewhat, eyes downcast, trying to think of a solution. With both their phones long dead (Celestino’s really WAS dead, as it took a nice long swim during the party in the resident wine pitcher, screen flickering pathetically a few times before dying in the blood of grapes…Yuuri had gone all “Make us free, na splash, kasametta..” at that time, hands together in a silent prayer to the now dead device) it was pretty much impossible to contact anyone or anything.

Why didn’t they keep pagers around anymore?

Yuuri tried to use this momentum to get away. With mysterious ninja-like skills out of nowhere (most probably from all the champagne), he disengaged all his captive limbs and turned to make a beeline to hell knows where, when a beep resonated through the emptiness and an astonishingly white light came right on his frozen face, momentarily blinding him. A screech was heard and a car appeared milliseconds after the light, making an eyebrow raising U-turn and stopping right beside them in a well done drift.

Chris would have approved of it with a low whistle.

The snow whirlwind the driver brought with himself settled down to reveal an old, blue Zaporojets.

A window rolled down with a little screech along with the layer of snow gathered on it and an enormous furry scarf poked itself outside to greet them.

A few silent minutes they were all blinking at each other, during which it became evident that the ’scarf’ was actually a human head, wrapped exquisitely in a white, red and blue patterned scarf (patriot much?). A small patch of what looked like straw at first was actually hair, the color a magnificent shade of noodles from Yuuri’s beloved katsudon! The only visible part that could be attributed to a human was a sharp, distinctly Russian nose, angry red from the cold and his eyes, a unique blend of grey and green. Those eyes were staring Yuuri down, seizing him.

Yuuri gulped audibly.

Celestino’s left eyebrow started lowering.

“If you need a taxi, I can take you wherever you need to go”, the unknown ‘straw’ spoke up, his sharp, rough English cutting the air like a knife.

Yuuri gulped and took a step back, suddenly becoming keenly aware that they were in the middle of nowhere, without their phones, in the dead of night with their passports in their pockets to top it…

And it was snowing almost as much as Phitchit had shed dandruff from his head that one time when he used the wrong shampoo in Detroit!

“We’ll take that offer, young man! Take us to Aerostar Hotel!”

The stranger grinned so wide that one could see it even with all the mummy scarf wrapping.

Yuuri whimpered once more, dreading the ride.

And dreadful it was, as Yuuri was chewed out by Celestino again and again. And the fact that their stranger Russian driver was right THERE, listening to it all was the worst.

“No, I will not do the interview! I don’t want to talk to the cameras or the people! I don’t want to talk to anyone!” huffed the Japanese, slumping in a defeated lump in the backseat, his drunkedness still evident in the slight ‘whoosh’ his hands were making in the air. “You wanted me to have fun, right? Riiiiight! Well I did, it was my way of loosening up! So WHAT?”

“So what!” the coach took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you what! If someone leaks those photos and videos, you are done for! All those years skating and you STILL don’t have a sponsor! There were potential candidates there! Yet you went and ruined it all!”

“What photos? Someone was taking photos?”

A barely audible snort escaped the silent driver. The two in the back ignored him completely.

But the boy kept his eyes trained on the mirror, watching and silently making his own bizarre deductions.

He really should be keeping his eyes on the road though, not to mention BOTH hands on the wheel…

“Yuuri..”

“Ciaociao, pleeeease. I’ll figure something out about the whole sponsorship thing, just..”,he sighed, dejected. “Let me be tomorrow. I really can’t take any reporters, especially after Vicchan..”

His voice broke at the end.

“Let’s just go to the airport! I’ll fly back to Japan, you deal with press!” He sat up with a vigor and gently tapped straw driver’s back. “Please take us to Sheremetyevo, please!”

A hand yanked him back rather sharply.

“Don’t you dare, young man! Straight to the hotel and that’s it!”

“I am NOT doing that interview, Celestino!”

“Oh yes you are! You’re not a Japanese maiden in distress, nor am I chivalrous enough to grant your drunken ass any request! It’s fina-..” His words formed a surprised ‘aaaaaa’ as the engine grunted, screeched like a wet cat and finally came to a stop.“..ah?”

“Wha…whats going on?” demanded the man. Yuuri was looking back and forth, discreetly smelling the air for any kind of weird pre-explosion smoke or something. The grin on his face was a little unnerving though.

The blondie shrugged, turning the key in the ignition a few times in a futile attempt to make it work again.

“Brat!”

“Um…right! We’re gona have to push…” the boy said, already getting out of the car. “It’ll go back up once we give it a little nudge".

The cold air hit Yuuri and he snapped out whatever evil horror trance he had gotten himself into. As he opened the door to get out as well, the blonde snapped it close with a leer. “We need some weight to be inside, you stay, piggy. Mr. Ciaobrows, you come push from the back.”

Yuuri snorted at the nickname, then burst into full blown laughter, not even bothering to smother his guffaws.

Celestino threw his a dirty glare and heavily shuffled out, leaving an almost crying Yuuri inside.

Merrily, they pushed the car in the snow, the Italian old man pushing from the back, the blonde youth pushing right beside the front seat, the door open. Step by step, the vehicle inched forward. Then just as Celestino was starting to feel the burn of muscles in his arms, the blonde hopped into the front seat, with the agility of a tiger, turned the key, bringing the dead engine back to life and the car sped away, leaving the poor coach to scream after them incredulously.

Funny thing was, Yuuri himself was screaming as well.

“Oh shut it!”, yelled the boy, snapping the door shut and turning around to face the Japanese. Yuuri snapped his mouth shut in sheer bewilderment from the death glare (he had to work on it, it looked too cute to be scary) the child was giving him. Yes child.

Somewhere in the process of all this he had unwrapped his scarf. Now it hung low on his neck, exposing his youthful features to the one and only passenger. He was incredibly cute. Women would swoon at his mare glance in the future. Honestly, Russians…

Dimly, Yuuri noted that this he was probably around 17 years old, if not younger. And this child had just kidnapped him.

Cute.

And weird. And scary. And I’m never going to see Kaa-san and Mari nee-chan again!

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Yuuri asked.

“Wh..where are we going?”

“What do you mean where? The airport of course!”

“Ah, of course! Wait who decided that?” He stared at the mirror, trying to be intimidating. Somewhere at the back of his mind he made a note that lighter colored eyes were automatically more intimidating. Right…

“What do you mean who? Yuri, of course!”

Yuuri put a hand to his heart, “I did NOT!”

The teen swung around to face him, one hand still on the wheel.

“Who the hell said anything about YOU, piggy? I said Yuri did, Yuri!”

“Ah…watch the road, please?”

He got an angry huff as a reply.

This kid was precious…like a cinnamon roll.

“So, Yuri who again? Decided, I mean, that we are going to the airport?”

“Plisetsky, remember that! Yuri Plisetsky did!”

“And..who is Yuri Plisetsky?”

“Me!”

“Oh….”

They spend a few more minutes in silence.

“Celestino is alone out there, in the cold, we really should go back. Yuri-cha~n, stop playing around.”

The car came to a halt, making Yuuri collide with the back of the front seat. While he was nursing his nose, the boy fully faced him, nearly hanging off the seat. His expression was a mix between anger, guilt and admiration.

This baffled the skater to silence.

“You wanted to go back to your Japan, right? If we go back now, you’ll have to do that interview! Right?!”

“Yuri-cha-..”

“Stop! Don’t call me Yuri-chan!”

“Yurio then?”

“Wha? NO, no no no!” the blonde reached towards his almost namesake, hands posed as if to strangle him.

“Yurio, he is-..”

“Evil, manipulating, heartless, eyebrow man! The perfect villain! Besides, I actually messaged the taxi center for a car. He will have a ride anyways. What do you say?!”

Yuuri considered it for a minute, finger nearly in his mouth from his thinking pose. Yuri the Smaller raised a perfect eyebrow at the all too familiar gesture a certain playboy had.

“Okay!”

“Okay?”

“Uuun, Okay!!!”

When the old radio croaked to life, Yuuri was in the front, and the boys were munching on some pirojki and having a nice, pleasant chat about this and that (“how old are you Yurio?” “Don’t call me..- uh whatever! I’m fifteen!” “Fif….teen. Ah. I see. WHO THE HELL LET YOU DRIVE? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?” “IF YOU YELL, PIGGY, I YELL TOO! And no, of course I don’t! But my grandpa lets me drive for practice! I’m goo~d, right? Right?”).

The old player was ignored mostly, until a certain song popped up.

Yuuri started humming almost on autopilot.

“Taaaam, tam pam, paaam, and the starry sky, spreading above~…”

Yuri glanced at him, eyes wide and staring. The Japanese skated grinned. “I love this song. Actually all the skaters my age and younger adore it.”

“Really”, Yuri inquired in a slightly disbelieving voice. “No one in my class knows it..like no one! But I really like it! My uncle hates it though…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. No one in my course knows it either, besides me and my roommate Phichit! But he’s a skater, so it’s kind of …Yeah.”, he trailed off, tapping his foot to the beat. “None of the older skaters like it though. Chris always ‘stage vomits’ when he hears it and Victor…ah..”

Yuri smiles mischievously and nods. Yuuri taps his foot, Smallish Yuri taps his fingers on the wheel. On an signal none of them even agreed on, they both started.

“I can rule the world, JJ, just follow me, I will break the walls, now look at me”, they sing/scream simultaneously, each pointing to themselves like over washed drama queens. “..also be the blind side of the enemy, this is who I am, just remember me..”

Yuuri sprawls himself on the blonde’s lap like a cat not even thinking that this child was actually driving. Yuri glances at him, face flushed from the adrenaline rush and sheer happiness of being able to sing his favorite song with someone who actually knew the lyrics.

“I’M THE KING JJ, NO ONE DEFEATS ME, THIS IS WHO I AM BABY, just follow me..-”

Yuuri raises his hands up like a conductor, while Yuri fake-longingly stares out of the window, eyes downcast.

“..just follow me off the ground”, they sing softly, then burst in a fit of giggles.

In case you are wondering, no, they didn’t crash on the way, yes, they reached the airport, yes, a certain phone was put to charge and bombarded with missed call messages from a certain coach who seemed to be back in the hotel already, no, Yuuri didn’t return to him, yes, indeed he actually left for Japan, of course not before giving his almost namesake a hug and a promise to sing together again in the dead on night.

Wonderful memories, right?

In case you were also wondering, yes, Yuuri did forget everything after the 9 hour beauty sleep he got on the plane.

Shame…

Well, don’t worry, in a few month those two will see each other once more, when Yuri follows his wayward uncle on his quest of self-discovery ( really, for a man who should be settling down with a family, self-discovery at his age? Pathetic!), love and inspiration to Japan.

More specifically, for a certain piggy who could hit all the highest notes like a pro in his most favourite song of his most hated singer/skater.

Honestly, JJ should go to hell.

But, maybe record a few songs before that…

Omake:

The car was safely parked in the garage and Yuri Plisetski was munching on the remaining potato bun. “Yuuri is interesting.”, he mused out to the wide sky. “It’s a shame he butchered the performance. Though, the choreography sucked so much.. ugh. But, I’m glad i got to see him!”. He chuckled and took another big bite. Yuuri was his idol, that one and only skater he admired. And it was all because he saw that performance, back when Yuuri was 12. His very first one, and, well the only one he won. Since then Little Yuri followed his namesake’s every move. He even has a photo collection in his phone.

With a password, so no one snoops. A certain silverette no one, that is.

“Well Victor sucks. Still don’t get how that idiot didn’t even recognize .. uh, idiot, stupid Victor!”, he ranted, stuffing the rest of the pirojok in his mouth in one go. Yeah his uncle ( in reality he adored him probably as much as Yuuri) was an airhead, the biggest idiot the world could have.

Wiping his slightly greasy hands on his jeans like any teenage brat would, he huffed, rolled his shoulders and went on to undertake new mission - sneaking home unnoticed.

“YURI PLISETSKIY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!”

“Uhh..”

#yurionice #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #yuri plisetski #yurio #yuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #victuuri #yurio and yuri are precious #yuri on ice #fic #prompt

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spacebookettes · 3 years

Text

A Boy without a witches ipad

The Boy was sat behind a container. The witches ipad had been advising every step he took. Only he had forgotten to charge it. The port had been tricky to navigate. Now the Boy was stuck. He could see the big ship but he needed a container with food for his long journey. The automated ship would be lonely but safe if he could find a way on board.

A day-glow butterfly landed on his hand. It turned to look at the boy and stuck out it’s long proboscis. The boy stuck his ‘proboscis’ out back at it. A giggle drifted across the breeze. The boy carefully followed it. A few giggles he heard coming from inside a container. He got inside it. Boxes of butterfly traps with fluorescent colours. Here was as good as anywhere he felt and his anxiety eased around the butterflies. He opened all the traps and fell asleep.

The boy awoke, covered in blinking colours. The walls of the container blinked also. His small lamp was dimming but he could see a picture in the mass of blinking. An image of an old familiar face. His witches face. The container shuddered and clanked down.

He waited

The Boy exited onto a great ship, streams of colour followed him. There was only sea to be seen. The boy was hungry. The fluttering colours rested on one particular container. Inside were boxes of dried fruit cake bread,. Malt loaf his favourite. Enough for everyone.

The end

By Peter Stringer

Mountain Muncher

The vast colossus plucked another mountain and placed it in her bag. A great golden bag filled with craggy peaks. She plucked another mountain and sucked some molten lava from it’s underside, then placed it in her bag. The Scientist loved Mountain Muncher computer game. She especially liked it when the snow from some freezing peak made the colossus sneeze. She liked the back story of little hungry colossus', hungry for mountain delights. The Scientist loved organising the different mountains into types based on nutritional content. A grey rainbow of rock.

The end

By Peter Stringer

The Kid Billionaire

As a kid travelling around some of the world and mostly in Japan, the Young Billionaire developed a talent for making new mates. She was good at making others mates as well... “you could be a rock star” the Young Billionaire believes everyone has an album in them. “you could be the rock star in my movie?”... As a kid the Young Billionaire made little films, daft super silly kid adventures, kid sci-fi and mysteries. Childish horror movies. She always managed to find new people to act in them where ever she went.

The little films had a habit of turning up, after the credits of her grown-up films. Everyone sat through the credits and everyone waited hopefully for a new little comedy mystery from the not too distant past. One day the Young Billionaire would be forced to make an announcement... or perhaps not... a new idea, we’ve heard before.

The end

By Peter Stringer

A cyborg tortoise

Borgtoise had a problem with her laser pointing eye sensor; it kept writing obscene things on the clouds. Flashes of red made temporary words. Words Borgtoise crustily blushed at. Borgtoise made her way at great pace, her legs had been augmented with hover crystals, hover crystals with go faster stripes. Whizzing between tortoise towns.

Borgtoise was very proud of her black chromed cyborg parts. She looked dangerous she felt. Now if she could just save up for the shell cannon she really would be dangerous.

Something was watching Borgtoise from cyborg forest. A metal paw scratched one of the stumpy trees in the forest darkness.

Borgtoise was zooshing toward the gothic spires of another tortoise town. She heard metal clacking shearing sounds coming up behind her. A metallic bunny with one real ear whooshed past. Hover crystals crossed and propelled Borgtoise upside down and onto her carbon fibre shell. “Damn, scratched again.. fucking rabbits.” Borgtoise definitely needed that cannon, if only to stop her upsying on her shell.

A late Borgtoise hovered into the entrance of the tortoise town. She went straight to the cyborg shopping district and looked through the topsy medieval shop window, gazing longingly at one black chromed cannon; an assortment of blaster reloading crystals sat next to it. “Passed my weapons exam… but so expensive.”

Borgtoise made a complaint to the cyborg animal council about nuisance rabbits… again.

Tortoise alley had all the best cyborg bars. Laser sounds and phaser voices sniggered from every doorway. It was really sunny. The large windows were open and an assortment of cyborg animals were dangling their feet (some with hover crystals) into the breezy medieval bar alley.

No rabbits to be seen.

Borgtoise was downloading something onto the crystal drive of some shifty looking creature in dark robes, neon green highlights escaping from under them. They had no visible face. “Thanks Danni” Borgtoise said to the dark void where a face could have been. “Know anybody good with laser targets?”

A mixture of old dilapidated mills, dusty doorways and scratched chrome mechanical trash. Borgtoise knocked on one of the doors. A glowing six fingered hand felt around the outside of the door. ‘Great, another fucking cyborg who loves theatrics’ Borgtoise thought. A mirrored beak followed the glowing hand.

“Eeeeh, you’ll be wanting your laser pointer fixed, I’ll say” said the beak. ‘how did you know' asked Borgtoise. “been a lot of laser problems recently... and I’m the best with lasers". Great thought Borgtoise another lasers mystery.

After Mirror Beak had spent the afternoon wrestling with some colourful language projected on her mill walls, she said a deeply offended goodbye to Borgtoise, who made her way back towards the bustling centre of the tortoise town. She went to Rasping alley this time. Small robots crowded her and cleaned all the flesh that surrounded her cyborg parts. Borgtoise felt like a whole new tortoise. She was also hungry... though a cyborg can largely go without much food and just recharge occasionally. The animal instinct to eat is still with the people of Cyborg animal Planet... and Salad Bar alley has the good crunchy stuff Borgtoise needed. One particular cyborg cafe specialises in tortoise delights... She Shells is it’s name... it does takeout.

Zshoozshing toward another tortoise town. Borgtoise's laser pointer was scanning the horizon for rogue cyborg rabbits. Nothing. She stopped for a cyborg picnic. Bowls of dark green leaves and the occasional yellow, orange and red. From the void box she kept on the side of her shell. (Void boxes, though massively advanced technology are surprisingly something discovered fairly early on in a cultures technological evolution.) She slurped a cabbage sorbet. (Void boxes also come chilled).

So it’s another laser mystery then. I’ll have to contact a time chimp.

Borgtoise searched the void box for a space disk attachment. Found she locks it into place onto her dark chrome cranial cyborg implant. It busily rotates giggling with computer plinking. Borgtoise sent out a space text message; deep into the darker regions of the cosmos.

As Borgtoise finished her last piece of sautéed lettuce, she sat back and said to herself “come on then, where are you... it doesn’t take this long normally.” A gust of wind perked Borgtoise up and she slyly looked around. “sorry I’m late" a voice below her came from inside the void box. “im having troubles again and had to take a less than usual route.” ‘i can see that... i had no idea you had access to my void box.’ A small dark brown chimp with wild grey hair, surrounding it’s yellow face, sat inside the entrance of the void box. Their tail was holding a cup of tea (time chimps have tales, unlike most great apes. Useful opposable tails. ) “needs more soya milk.” “what’s this” the chimp was holding a crystalline, slightly opache, cube. ‘just a family heirloom.’ The time chimp gazed through the cube. A bird sang somewhere in the distance. Borgtoise’s laser pointer wrote something obscene on the bark of a nearby tree.

“Problems with lasers again” pondered the time chimp. “lets ride to a rabbit town.”

Time chimp sat on Borgtoise’s shell as they zooshed toward the multi-coloured confections of a rabbit town skyline. Great bulbous rainbow roofs of saturated tiled misaligned peaks. A technicolour ideal of a gingerbread witch city. Only with rabbits.

A tortoise had not been seen in a rabbit town since the big incident... the great embarrassment the cyborg rabbits called it. So a cyborg tortoise with a time chimp on their back caused quite a few wide eyed stares. Many un-cyborged birds sat on the rooftops twittering. They scattered when a massive crash crunched somewhere around a corner. Someone had misjudged with their carrot and dandelion juice cart when they couldn’t believe the scene within their cyborg eye. (Cyborg rabbits are cyclops' generally and are almost entirely cyborged, except for one instinctive ear.) Where are all these un-natural birds coming from wondered Borgtoise. And where is time chimp: they sauntered from around a corner with some cheap candy store Xray spectacles. “ingenious really... a super weapon... but how to neutralise them?” ‘what?’ asked Borgtoise. “oh nothing, it’s just important for the plot later.”

A little solo bird song came from a nearby rooftop and the Xray spectacles fizzed with a little escaping smoke; time chimp took them off. “The writer has written themselves into a corner and they expect me to get them out of it.” “you see the unnatural birds are actually cyborgs, just with the feathers and skin intact. You haven’t noticed the bird song, who would!” “the songs are little computer programs, infecting the cyborg parts of the cyborg animals.” ‘that’s dastardly’ said Borgtoise. “yes, but now I have to find a solution... I’m glad you never bought your cannon Borgtoise.” "perhaps something with noise cancelling."

The end

By Peter Stringer

#creative writing #short story #scifi #fantasy #witch #butterflies #art #silly story #adventure

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sananaryon · 5 years

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ENDGAME SPOILERS AND SHIT

So, endgame… I’m literally sitting in the theatre while writing this, just stuff I need to write down while I have it. Get it down on the figurative paper. (Also, there is no end credits scene)

Goes without saying, but SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS LIKE HELL OF SPOILERS I SPOIL LITERALLY EVERYTHING THIS IS GONNA SUCK

So, the pacing. I’ll admit, for the first like, half, I was a bit iffy on it. Felt waaaaay to fast. Like, no time to stop and rest between plot points. The dangling thread lines (aside from the obvious «half the universe dead» thing) from the last movie felt like they got solved almost immediately. Stuck in space? Boom, deus ex Captain Marvel (I’m not that huge on her, to be honest, but she was pretty good.). When stuff really got underway in the second half, it was really damn good.

The «Solution» to the problem, you know what I’m talking about. I’ll admit, I’m not huge on time travel as a problem solver. Way too many awkward scenes, but I love how they managed to find a way to use time travel without opening up the whole continuity shebang. Dunno why they could kill past versions without altering the present, though.

As a side note, I did like the scene with Cap at the end, but I think I’d preferred it if we never saw his sweetheart. We could all guess who it was, we didn’t need it spelled out to us. (God, I just realized, Stony shippers are gonna have a field day with this one).

I am hugely disappointed at how they did Thanos. He was so great in the last one, and now he’s reduced to a mustache twirler. I get the story reason, this was a past Thanos without the experience and hurt he had in Infinity War, but I’m still disappointed.

The battle scenes were amazing though. I felt the need to stand up and yell at the «Big Damn Heroes» moment near the end, though I didn’t, because theater. Captain Marvel was a bit of a deus ex machine, but I enjoyed her fine. To be honest, I’m not that into superheroes, so CM is just another superman to me.

Scott Lang was hilarious, and I loved him all the time. Rocket too, and Bruce… Eeeeh, dunno if they managed to strike the balance between him and the Hulk there (I haven’t seen Ragnarok, so forgive me if I’m wrong). Felt kind of a letdown to have them solve their thing off-screen. Thor was hit and miss. Some funny scenes, some average. Nothing bad, though.

Tony’s daughter, for as short as we saw her (she didn’t die… Or did she?), was a welcome addition, though I would have appreciated a bit more character building. Future movies, I suppose. Sad to see Tony go, but pave the way for the new generation, and his death scene was heart wrenching. Thumbs up for Pepper as Rescue.

Also, they brought back Loki. And Man, am I pissed. Loki was great in Ragnarok, now they’ve effectively pushed the reset button on his character arc. Goodbye fun villain, hello character I didn’t like when he first appeared, please leave. Not to mention how chronically that fucked up the entire timeline of literally all of these movies. I don’t know, but it really felt like a Studio Mandate, and not something that was properly. Written into the story.

The Ancient One’s speech about timelines felt like setup for future movies, and I hope so.

Man, this turned out to be more negative than positive. Easier to remember the bad parts, I suppose. If you manage to tackle some pacing issues which very well might have been just me, go watch it. When we got over the opening third, it was pretty much all good. And my opinions will probably have changed entirely tomorrow.

#original

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erinlasgalen · 7 years

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This is who I am, just follow me!

“Wh..where are we going?” “What do you mean where? The airport of course!” “Ah, of course! Wait who decided that?” “What do you mean who? Yuri, of course!” “Yuri, um who again? Decided, I mean, that we are going to the airport?” “Plisetsky, remember that! Yuri Plisetsky did!” “And..who is Yuri Plisetsky?” “Me!” “Oh….”

Or, the one where after the disastrous party, Yuuri eats pirojki, gets kidnapped in the dead of night by a 15 year old secret fan, gets lost in snow, sings a popular (among skaters) song and acquires a new nickname. Not necessarily in that order.

Not even a single murmur could be heard.

“NOOUUUUU!”

“I don’t waaaaant t’do another interview”, slurred the younger one, trying to get away from his mentor as fiercely as a drunken kitten, or a piggy, some might say.

Nerves, they sure can get to you…scary! Get a grip, Katsuki-san!

Currently, he was cold, wet (partly, his feet were soaked through due to lousy old boots that needed to be changed ASAP!), hungry, and still quite drunk.

Whatever.

This man, well, in Yuuri's eyes a demon currently, was his coach de la italiano, Celestino Cialdini, or “Ciaociao” for short and fluffy. Mind you, the nickname absolutely did NOT come from Phichit’s family dog, King, who coincidentally happened to be a chowchow. Not at all. He was strict, always to the point and very hard to deal with at times. Also his eyebrows were distracting. And his eyes. The whole image always screamed ‘Lock-on, I am a predator, I’ll eat you alive’. Well, unless you fed him spaghetti or something.

Ah, it seems we got sidetracked a little, let’s get back to our merry duo now, shall we?

They would have made charming snow angels! Or devils…

“I said, t’was Chris…”

“Ah, yes”, a snort. “The sparkly eyelashes from Switzerland. Are they all like that? Their men are more feminine than their women!”

Yuuri's eyes unfocused, remembering a certain Russian skater and their dance. He opened his mouth to say something, probably resembling an "Oh, Victor~" but was cut off with a harsh tug to the middle of the street.

Yuuri gave his best (he practiced on his own sister!) puppy eyes. But of course his coach was immune.

Italians, I say…

Ciaociao narrowed his eagle eyes and grunted, “And no, I will NOT be answering anything in your stead.”

Well, that really was a problem. Quite a big one, it seemed, I mean, even the angry coach went silent and loosened his grip somewhat, eyes downcast, trying to think of a solution. With both their phones long dead (Celestino’s really WAS dead, as it took a nice long swim during the party in the resident wine pitcher, screen flickering pathetically a few times before dying in the blood of grapes…Yuuri had gone all "Make us free, na splash, kasametta.." at that time, hands together in a silent prayer to the now dead device) it was pretty much impossible to contact anyone or anything.

Why didn’t they keep pagers around anymore?

Chris would have approved of it with a low whistle.

The snow whirlwind the driver brought with himself settled down to reveal an old, blue Zaporojets.

A window rolled down with a little screech along with the layer of snow gathered on it and an enormous furry scarf poked itself outside to greet them.

Yuuri gulped audibly.

Celestino’s left eyebrow started lowering.

“If you need a taxi, I can take you wherever you need to go”, the unknown ‘straw’ spoke up, his sharp, rough English cutting the air like a knife.

And it was snowing almost as much as Phitchit had shed dandruff from his head that one time when he used the wrong shampoo in Detroit!

“We’ll take that offer, young man! Take us to Aerostar Hotel!”

The stranger grinned so wide that one could see it even with all the mummy scarf wrapping.

Yuuri whimpered once more, dreading the ride.

And dreadful it was, as Yuuri was chewed out by Celestino again and again. And the fact that their stranger Russian driver was right THERE, listening to it all was the worst.

“What photos? Someone was taking photos?”

A barely audible snort escaped the silent driver. The two in the back ignored him completely.

But the boy kept his eyes trained on the mirror, watching and silently making his own bizarre deductions.

He really should be keeping his eyes on the road though, not to mention BOTH hands on the wheel…

“Yuuri..”

His voice broke at the end.

“Let’s just go to the airport! I’ll fly back to Japan, you deal with press!” He sat up with a vigor and gently tapped straw driver’s back. “Please take us to Sheremetyevo, please!”

A hand yanked him back rather sharply.

“Don’t you dare, young man! Straight to the hotel and that’s it!”

“I am NOT doing that interview, Celestino!”

The blondie shrugged, turning the key in the ignition a few times in a futile attempt to make it work again.

“Brat!”

“Um…right! We’re gona have to push…” the boy said, already getting out of the car. “It’ll go back up once we give it a little nudge".

Yuuri snorted at the nickname, then burst into full blown laughter, not even bothering to smother his guffaws.

Celestino threw his a dirty glare and heavily shuffled out, leaving an almost crying Yuuri inside.

Funny thing was, Yuuri himself was screaming as well.

Dimly, Yuuri noted that this he was probably around 17 years old, if not younger. And this child had just kidnapped him.

Cute.

And weird. And scary. And I’m never going to see Kaa-san and Mari nee-chan again!

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Yuuri asked.

“Wh..where are we going?”

“What do you mean where? The airport of course!”

“What do you mean who? Yuri, of course!”

Yuuri put a hand to his heart, “I did NOT!”

The teen swung around to face him, one hand still on the wheel.

“Who the hell said anything about YOU, piggy? I said Yuri did, Yuri!”

“Ah…watch the road, please?”

He got an angry huff as a reply.

This kid was precious…like a cinnamon roll.

“So, Yuri who again? Decided, I mean, that we are going to the airport?”

“Plisetsky, remember that! Yuri Plisetsky did!”

“And..who is Yuri Plisetsky?”

“Me!”

“Oh….”

They spend a few more minutes in silence.

“Celestino is alone out there, in the cold, we really should go back. Yuri-cha~n, stop playing around.”

This baffled the skater to silence.

“You wanted to go back to your Japan, right? If we go back now, you’ll have to do that interview! Right?!”

“Yuri-cha-..”

“Stop! Don’t call me Yuri-chan!”

“Yurio then?”

“Wha? NO, no no no!” the blonde reached towards his almost namesake, hands posed as if to strangle him.

“Yurio, he is-..”

“Evil, manipulating, heartless, eyebrow man! The perfect villain! Besides, I actually messaged the taxi center for a car. He will have a ride anyways. What do you say?!”

Yuuri considered it for a minute, finger nearly in his mouth from his thinking pose. Yuri the Smaller raised a perfect eyebrow at the all too familiar gesture a certain playboy had.

“Okay!”

“Okay?”

“Uuun, Okay!!!”

The old player was ignored mostly, until a certain song popped up.

Yuuri started humming almost on autopilot.

“Taaaam, tam pam, paaam, and the starry sky, spreading above~…”

Yuri glanced at him, eyes wide and staring. The Japanese skated grinned. “I love this song. Actually all the skaters my age and younger adore it.”

“Really”, Yuri inquired in a slightly disbelieving voice. “No one in my class knows it..like no one! But I really like it! My uncle hates it though…”

Yuri smiles mischievously and nods. Yuuri taps his foot, Smallish Yuri taps his fingers on the wheel. On an signal none of them even agreed on, they both started.

“I’M THE KING JJ, NO ONE DEFEATS ME, THIS IS WHO I AM BABY, just follow me..-”

Yuuri raises his hands up like a conductor, while Yuri fake-longingly stares out of the window, eyes downcast.

“..just follow me off the ground”, they sing softly, then burst in a fit of giggles.

Wonderful memories, right?

In case you were also wondering, yes, Yuuri did forget everything after the 9 hour beauty sleep he got on the plane.

Shame…

More specifically, for a certain piggy who could hit all the highest notes like a pro in his most favourite song of his most hated singer/skater.

Honestly, JJ should go to hell.

But, maybe record a few songs before that…

Omake:

The car was safely parked in the garage and Yuri Plisetski was munching on the remaining potato bun. "Yuuri is interesting.", he mused out to the wide sky. "It's a shame he butchered the performance. Though, the choreography sucked so much.. ugh. But, I'm glad i got to see him!". He chuckled and took another big bite. Yuuri was his idol, that one and only skater he admired. And it was all because he saw that performance, back when Yuuri was 12. His very first one, and, well the only one he won. Since then Little Yuri followed his namesake's every move. He even has a photo collection in his phone.

With a password, so no one snoops. A certain silverette no one, that is.

"Well Victor sucks. Still don't get how that idiot didn't even recognize .. uh, idiot, stupid Victor!", he ranted, stuffing the rest of the pirojok in his mouth in one go. Yeah his uncle ( in reality he adored him probably as much as Yuuri) was an airhead, the biggest idiot the world could have.

Wiping his slightly greasy hands on his jeans like any teenage brat would, he huffed, rolled his shoulders and went on to undertake new mission - sneaking home unnoticed.

"YURI PLISETSKIY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!"

"Uhh.."

#yuir on ice #fanfic #fanfiction #yuri plisetski #yura #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #viktuuri #archive of our own #crossposting #friendship #mentor #fan yuri #JJ #yaoi #stereotypes #humor #crack

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