#could go home next friday night stay home saturday and go back sunday early morning.

[livvyofthelake]

packing for the next several weeks like i’m going to war. if you ever catch me driving the 3-4 hour round trip from school to home back to school one random day over the next three weeks mind your business i’m about to kill myself over all this.

[idioticbat]

Idk how to write this, but I got caught in the south Brazil floods. My partner and I have been homeless since last Saturday, we've stayed until this Thursday at a shelter, but things were getting worse and worse, and my partner's company paid a hotel stay in another town till the next week or two.

Thursday/Friday on the week before the last (may 2nd and 3rd) we were housing two friends, who were already homeless due to the flood which had just started. They're also both trans and have no family to support them.

Friday morning the power went out and our friends left for a shelter. In the evening, my partner and i went for a walk to check how bad things were, and it was already flooding a mere 3 and a half blocks from our house. On the time it took for us to walk across that block, the water was already covering our feet.

We rushed back home and the street in front of where we live was starting to get covered in water. We carried everything we could to the attic, mostly my art stuff, computer, etc. We originally planned to stay home and survive a couple days until it got better. I barely slept that night because I knew the water was coming, so my brain was on maximum alert. I woke up after 3 hours of sleep, from a dream that I was trying to escape the flood.

When I woke up, we organized a bit more and ate lunch for breakfast. On the time it took for us to eat, the water was already at our doorstep, and we rushed to pack. I had a panic attack as the water rushed into our house, and a police officer rescued us and carried our bags inside a barrel. I only got a few clothes, medication for two weeks, basic hygiene stuff, plushies and some food. My partner got clothes and their laptop. I regret not picking my computer.

We had to swim and waddle through 1.60m+ (5'3") deep water for two blocks. On some places it was probably close to 2m. It felt like an eternity passed while we found our way through the cold water. Some neighbours who were also helping us recommended us a place for shelter. After we crossed a bridge, some person gave us a ride, so at least we didn't have to walk 3km to the shelter.

We got there really early on Saturday, the university which was one of the places being used as a shelter had just opened, so we were able to shower and eat. They also gave us new clothes. As it got more packed, we got help from volunteer psychologists, who gave us a separate room in another floor, since both my partner and I have autism.

I had more panic attacks but we got some help from other volunteers. Things were otherwise fine throughout Sunday and Monday, we managed to shower once more. Stuff started getting worse on Tuesday, as the place went from sheltering some 100-200 people to around 700. We were seeing the psychologists only once a day for a couple minutes and food started getting delayed for hours. Water was also scarce and we started having power outages.

Wednesday we were without food til 4pm, and since we also had pretty much lost access to the psychologists, we accepted the offer from my partner's company to take us to a hotel in another town. Thursday we left for the hotel, I showered for the first time since in four days, had lunch and finally changed my patreon password so I can post from my phone, as I do pretty much everything from my computer. Yesterday and today (friday/saturday, one week later), i finally managed to have computer access on my partner's laptop and log in to tumblr, cohost and so on.

I'm still not sure what we'll do about the future. Our place was rented and all the furniture that belonged to the house will be lost. Our landlord lives in another country and it's almost impossible to contact her. The kitchen and laundry appliances are still underwater and I guess we'll lose all of these. We can't afford to renew a house that isn't ours, and buy new appliances on top of that. We have nowhere to go that's nearby after this is over, no family, and our few friends are worse off. I'm not even sure I'll be able to recover my computer since the roof on the attic is leaky, and there'll be even more rain this weekend.

I feel absolutely crushed inside. Some people have tried to get me art supplies and I did draw a bit on a whiteboard in the classroom we were staying at in the shelter, but it's not the same thing. I can't feel any kind of inspiration knowing I might be completely homeless in two weeks, knowing the only two friends we have here might also be homeless, knowing I might have lost more than 15 years of art and music that were on my computer, that I might have lost thousands of physical drawings and so on. But I'm just trying my best to not think about any of that, so I just feel numb, occasionally I cry and feel anxious. My partner has also been trying to cheer me up since we got to the hotel, but i still feel pretty terrible. I haven't slept more than 5 hours straight in some 10 days. A lot of the time I dissociate and everything feels surreal.

I'll leave my ko-fi here in case anyone wants to donate. I also want to help our two friends with at least 100usd if possible, since they're even more vulnerable than my partner and I. If you have me on discord, please dm me instead and I'll give you my paypal address.

[atimeofyourlife]

A family Thanksgiving

This was supposed to be up yesterday, but it took on a mind of its own and instead of the few hundred words it was supposed to be, its nearly 3k. Happy belated Thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates! rated: t | wc: 2847 | cw: period typical homophobia, Steve's asshole parents

The offers from everyone to have him over for Thanksgiving had been great, any other year he would have loved such a choice, but for the first time in a long time, he was spending the day with family.

"But you hate your family." Dustin pointed out when Steve had told everyone about his holiday plans.

"No, I hate my parents. It's my grandma that asked me to go, and I want to see her and my cousins that I haven't seen in like five years. I'm driving myself to Chicago, so I won't be stuck in a car with my parents for hours on end." Steve explained.

"But you're working a late the day before, and I'm not going to cover you so you can drive up early" Robin replied.

"I'm planning on leaving by six on Thanksgiving morning. It's less than four hours to drive, so I'll be there before ten, well nine because of the timezone change. I took the late shift the day before so I had an excuse to drive myself, and my parents wouldn't have any reason to come by Hawkins before. And I drive home either the Friday or the Saturday, ready for our Sunday shift."

Come Thanksgiving day, Steve was somewhat regretting his decision. It had been nearly midnight before he'd gotten home, after a number of people came in just before closing insistent on needing a selection of movies ready for the next day. Then hadn't been happy when the movies they wanted weren't in stock, so they left the place a total mess, causing Steve to stay late to tidy up ready for the opener the next day. Then having to get up around five, so he could get ready and be on track to leave as planned. In an attempt to wake up, he was mostly surviving on a large cup of incredibly strong coffee. He was just counting down the minutes until he could get there.

When he walked in the door, he was immediately wrapped up in a hug from his grandma. "Stevie, it's so good to see you."

"It's great to see you too, Grandma." He returned the hug, melting into it a little. Exactly what he needed after the year it had been.

"Let me take a look at you." She stepped back slightly, giving him a once over. Her hand came up to trace the scar still on his neck from where he had been strangled by the bats and vines. "What happened here?"

"I. It's nothing. It looks a lot worse than it is." Steve replied, trying to get out of the awkwardness of the conversation.

"Oh, if you're sure. If you want to help with dinner, you can join us in the kitchen. But if you just want to rest, anyone who's watching football is in the living room, and the Macy's parade is on in the den."

"It's been a long drive, and I had a late finish last night, so I think I'm going to take a bit of a break. I might come out and help a bit later." He offered.

"Oh, honey. If you don't feel up to it, you don't need to help at all. Take it easy, and we'll call you once everything is ready." She kissed Steve on the cheek, before going back to the kitchen.

Steve made his way through the house, glancing into the living room as he passed. He could see his dad in one of the recliners, and decided against joining them. Wanting to delay the inevitable "you're a disappointment" lecture. He knew his mom would likely be in the kitchen, not actually helping, just drinking wine and gossiping. He moved on to the den, where most of his cousins were. He hovered in the doorway for a second, unsure what to say. So much had changed since the last time he had seen any of them.

"Wait, Stevie?" One of them, Lizzie, said as she looked up to see him.

"Uh, hey?" Steve replied, a little unsure, before he was being swamped in a group hug.

"Jesus Christ, when did this happen? Last time I saw you, you were like a little kid. Now you're a whole grown adult." Another, Mark, said.

After a long catch up, bringing Steve up to date on everyone else's lives, and him giving an abridged highlights of his last few years, they then got into more serious topics.

"Was everything okay after the earthquakes? I tried calling a few times, but I don't know if I had the wrong number because it never went through." Alice, the oldest of his cousins, asked.

"The phones were down across the whole town for a while after, then it was patchy for weeks after that. It was hard to get five or ten minutes without it dropping out. It took me like two weeks before I was able to get hold of mom and dad to let them know that the house was still standing, and that I was still alive." Steve explained.

"Wait, they weren't in Hawkins for the earthquakes?" Harry cut in.

"No, they've not been in Hawkins since February? Like over a month before it happened."

"Oh. They were telling us last night about how awful and hard it had been during the earthquakes, and how they were scared for their lives." Alice replied.

"That's such bullshit. They weren't in the country when it happened, they were in London. They didn't even know that it was Hawkins that was affected until I called them, because all they'd seen on the news was a freak earthquake hitting the Midwest. It hadn't even specified the state. And then they didn't care how I was, if I was hurt or anything, all they were interested in was if there was damage to the house, and how the earthquake could affect the resale value."

"Okay, I call dibs about bringing that up over dinner. I just want to see what shade of purple Uncle Dick can turn." Becca, the closest cousin to Steve in age, piped up. "But were you hurt?"

"Uh, minor injuries. Nothing serious." Steve lied, not wanting to worry anyone. "I was able to start volunteering within a couple of days. You know, helping out at the relief center, helping search for missing people. And when everything calmed down I was helping rebuild and stuff. Just trying to do my bit. But I'm fine now."

"That's good. But thinking of Uncle Dick turning purple, who gets to bring up Fuck Reagan?" Mark asked.

"Stevie's been through the most, I think he should get the chance." Alice replied.

"Uh, I think that would go down about as well as if I told him that my best friend is a dyke and I've spent most of my free time in the last six months sucking off the local drug dealer, who was accused of being a cult leader and murdering three people." Steve said quickly, unsure if he wanted anyone else to pick up what he'd said.

"Was that for drugs, or for fun, or what? Like a hook up?" Harry asked.

"He's my boyfriend. I mean, it helps that I get free weed out of him, but I'd do it anyway." Steve admitted.

"That is something you missed out of your round up. But I love that all of us are some variation of queer."

Dinner was...interesting, to say the least. After saying Grace, they went round the table to say what they were thankful for that year. Steve had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing as his parents waxed on and on about how they were thankful for their lives and being able to escape the earthquake unscathed. He couldn't keep from laughing when Becca spoke up against them.

"Really? Because Alice asked Steve how he found it after the earthquakes, and he said that he couldn't reach you for two weeks after it happened because the phones were down and you were in London. And you didn't even know that it had hit Hawkins until he called you."

"Steven, why are you telling lies about us?" His mother demanded.

"I wasn't? You weren't in Hawkins when the earthquake hit. You've not been there since February. When I was finally able to call you, you only cared about how the house was, not if I was hurt. And you were pissed that I hadn't called you sooner, despite the fact the phone lines were down for the whole town. I could have died or been injured in hospital, and you wouldn't have known."

"How dare-" His father started, only to be cut off by Steve's grandmother.

"Settle down. There's no need for arguing. I am inclined to believe Steve, because I do remember you telling me that you were going to be spending a few months in Europe at the start of this year."

Both of Steve's parents were visibly unhappy, but they didn't push it any further, allowing the rest of the family to talk about what they were thankful for.

Many small conversations broke out over the table, Steve loving the feeling of being surrounded by family for the first time in a long time. He got pulled into talking to different people, but he did his best to avoid his parents' eye. Not wanting to get trapped by them telling him all the ways he had bothered them since he'd last seen them. But he knew they were up to something, when his father got up before dessert was served.

"Before we have anything else, we do have a big announcement about the future of our family." He said, using the voice he always used when talking to the most important clients.

"You've sucked enough political dick to get what ever tax exemption you were after?" Lizzie asked, before anyone could take it too seriously.

Steve's dad just spluttered in anger as a call of "Elizabeth." Came from at least four different people around the table.

"Ignoring that horrible interruption. What I was going to tell everyone is about Steven's imminent engagement. He is going to be proposing to Melissa Downey, the daughter of my business partner, at Christmas, they've been seeing each other for nearly eighteen months now, and it is going to mean big things for our family."

Steve couldn't respond, processing what had just been said, as everyone started speaking, some offering congratulations, others in confusion.

"That's news to me." Steve said loudly, to get over everyone's voices, once he could form the words. "I'm not planning on proposing to anyone."

"Well, Arthur and I have been discussing it, and it is the only thing that makes sense now, the two of you have been together for long enough, the logical next step is engagement."

"I'm not dating Melissa. We went on one date over a year ago, just after I graduated. It was awful, all she was interested in was if I made enough money to bankroll her spending addiction. I made up a fake emergency to get out of it, and I would rather stick forks in my eyes than suffer through that again." Steve got to his feet, bracing his hands on the table. Knowing he'd been right not to be optimistic that the holiday could pass without incident.

"You will if you know what's good for you. If you don't, it could destroy our business. You wouldn't want to be the reason we go broke, would you? You could end up homeless. Where would you live?"

"First, I have plenty of friends who would be happy to take me in if I had nowhere else to go. It's something we talked about after the earthquake, because some people I know did have damage caused to their homes and I let them stay with me until they could move back in. Second, I don't really care about whether or not you go broke. You don't provide any money to me. You haven't since I started working at Scoops. I pay for all my food, gas, clothes. If you go broke, my financial position won't change at all. And third, I can't propose to her. I'm in a relationship, and we're both very happy."

"Is it that Buckley girl? Or did you somehow manage to convince that Wheeler girl that you're actually worth something? Because I can tell you now, you are going to break up with whatever little slut-"

"His name is Eddie." Steve shouted before he could think it through, and a silence fell across the room. "That's right. Your son is one of those awful queers that you keep campaigning against, to keep them illegal and get them locked up. And you know what? He's easily the best sex I've ever had. Especially when we get high first."

"Why you-" His father roared, his face turning a dark red in anger. "How dare you do this to us? After everything we have done for you. You'd better hope that those friends of yours would be willing to take you in, because you are not living under my roof any longer. You will have until the end of the weekend to collect your belongings, anything left will be burned."

"Except, it isn't your roof, is it Richard? If I remember correctly, I was the one who paid the mortgage. My name is the one on the deed to the property in Hawkins. I just allowed you to live there, rent-free might I add, because it made sense for you to live somewhere close to Indianapolis when your business was taking off. I had been planning to sell up. So I think maybe you should be the one to collect your belongings from that house, because I'm not sure if I want you living under my roof any longer. It sounds life you're almost never there, anyway." Steve's grandma replied.

"But, mother-" His father started.

"But nothing, Richard. I don't know where you learnt your hateful attitude, because I know I did not raise you to be the sort of man that would kick your own son out over something as minor as who he loves. I really thought you were a better man than that."

"It's disgusting." Steve's mother added. "So unnatural, and that disease."

"What is disgusting is your bigotry. I think I want you both out from under my roof, now. So, if you would both kindly leave. And I expect you to move your belongings from the house in Hawkins, as that is now Steve's house, not yours. And you better not touch anything that isn't yours, or cause any damage, because I will take legal advice." Steve's grandmother stood up, anger radiating from her tiny five foot frame. "And, unless you change and apologize for your outdated beliefs, you can forget any inheritance. I will not have any of my money going to support hatred."

"Mother,"

"Leave, Richard. Now. I'm not afraid to get the police involved here."

Steve's parents looked at him with their faces filled with utter disgust, before they turned and left. His grandmother escorting them off the property.

"Are you okay, Stevie?" His grandmother asked after the end of the meal.

"I. I think so. I think I need to make a couple of phone calls." He replied.

"Use any of the phones, dear. Maybe if you know someone who can keep an eye on the house."

"Yeah. I babysit for the chief of police sometimes, so I might call him. He'll make sure nothing happens."

"Good. And, if you're talking to that boy of yours, tell him that he's got to come up here for Christmas. I want to meet him, and make sure he's good enough for you."

"Grandma." Steve protested.

"I'm just saying." She replied before walking away.

Steve shut himself in one of the bedrooms, for a little privacy from the still crowded house while he made the calls. The call to Hopper was quick, just outlining what was going on, and Hopper agreed to keep a check on the house until Steve was back in Hawkins. Then it was the call to Eddie.

"Baby, I wasn't expecting you to call. How's your Thanksgiving?"

"Interesting. My parents decided to announce that I was going to propose to dad's business partner's daughter. They wouldn't accept that I wasn't interested in her so I accidentally came out."

"Shit, I hope that didn't go too bad?"

"Uh, it could have gone worse? Somehow me coming out got my parents removed from the will and kicked out of the house. Because my grandma wasn't happy with them being assholes about it."

"Oh, badass grandma. I kinda want to meet her now."

"I was hoping you would say something like that. Because she has told me that you have to come here for Christmas. She wants to make sure that you're good enough." Steve couldn't help smiling as he talked, somehow the day had gone so much better than he'd ever hoped.

[issdisgrace]

Hi hello, would you mind writing sa male resder x Oscar piastri fluff? Like just something really tame, like cuddling in bed, or comforting him after a bad race, or taking care of him when sick, or maybe some angst? He gets jealous cause some guy is flirting with reader, but fluff would be really nice, hope this isn't too long 😭😭 thx

MY SICK BABY

WARNINGS: None

A/N: Sorry this took so long, have been neglecting my writing and basically all other aspects in my life. But I hope you like this none the less.

Oscar didn't get sick often. In fact, the last time he was sick was almost a year. But when he did get sick he wasn't just sick, he was sick.

So when Oscar started feeling ill Friday night, dread sunk its way into his stomach. He knew that this weekend would be hell for him and god was he right.

He woke up Saturday morning with a pounding headache and a stuffy nose. He took some meds to help with it before he went out to the track, which helped some. However, he still felt quite miserable and others could see it, but despite this he had managed to qualify pretty good. Anyway, it was later that night everything just got worse, and the coughing started. He felt like he was suffocating, his chest hurt, he couldn't sleep, so he ended up calling you.

You were really concerned when you got a call from Oscar at 1 in the morning. But as soon as he started talking it was clear why he was calling you. He was sick. You felt bad as you listened to him explain everything. You suggested a couple of things that would hopefully help, which he appreciated, and you ended up staying on the phone till he fell asleep.

Then Sunday came, and despite your suggestions and some meds he still felt and now looked like hell. But he pushed himself, ignoring everything his body and others were telling him. He was going to race today even if it killed him. When he got out on the track, he felt surprisingly good and raced his ass off getting p3. Then he came in and his adrenaline came down and he felt worse than he did before. He had just made it through podium before he yacked up the contents of his stomach. He was grateful that the team didn't force him to do media after and just sent back to his hotel.

He managed to get some rest, which did him some good but before he knew it he 8pm and he needed to head to the airport for his flight home. Oscar was happy to be going home, and that flight was only 2 hours, but god those 2 hours were the absolute worse in his life. The turbulence was god awful, everyone and everything was just to loud, he had a hard time keeping whatever was left in his stomach down, and his nose just kept running.

By the time the plane landed around 11pm, he was ready to just cuddle up in bed with you and sleep for the next 24 hours. Picking Oscar up from the airport, you asked questions about how he was feeling wanting to gauge what you needed to do to help him feel better. Oscar told you and you made a mental note of everything as you headed home.

Once you guys were home, you got Oscar into pajamas and then got him some cold medicine and some soup that you had made earlier. He happily had to the soup as it was his favorite chicken noodle. But he reluctantly took the cold medicine because it tasted god awful. But he took it like the good boy he is.

You then got him all tucked into bed with the tv playing some old detective show that Oscar liked to watch. Kissed him goodnight and told him if he needed you, you would be asleep in the guest bedroom. Oscar wished you stayed with him, but he knew you didn't want to get sick as well.

Anyway, it was around 6 am when Oscar woke up. He felt hot and ill and quickly got out of bed to throw up the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Having woken up early and hearing the shuffling, then the throwing up, you quickly rushed to Oscar. Siting on the floor beside him, rubbing his back trying to soothe him.

You sit with him rubbing his back until he done throwing up. After he’s done you carefully get him back into bed. Then go and get the thermometer to take his temperature. You take his temperature and it reads 101 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s not good but it’s not as bad as it could be.

You get him some more cold medicine and water. You make sure he drinks all the water and then get a cool damp wash cloth on his forehead. You turn then turn the tv which shut off probably sometime in night. You put on some cartoons. They’re easy and you don’t got to think or follow much. Perfect for someone that is sick.

You then get everything set up for Oscar so he can take care of himself while your gone at work for the day. You’re a little reluctant to leave Oscar but you knew you had to work. You told Oscar to keep you updated in how he was doing.

When you got home from work, you immediately went and checked Oscar and found him asleep, cartoons still playing on the tv. You smile to yourself as you leave and go make dinner. When you’re almost done with dinner you hear the soft footsteps of Oscar coming down the hallway, you look up and greet him. He definitely looks better than he did this morning. You ask him how he’s feeling and he was better like you expected.

This routine of getting him set up in the morning and going to work and coming home and checking on him and then making dinner goes on for a 9 days, until Oscar feels completely better.

Oscar is really appreciative of you taking care of him while he was sick and took you out to dinner at a nice place as a thank you. Despite your insistence that he didn’t need to, that you were his partner and that taking care of him when he was sick came with that. While you were out for dinner you started sneezing a lot.

And by the next morning you were sick and it was Oscar’s turn to take care of you while you were sick.

[fbfh]

Hi! Would you mind writing Logan Huntzberger with a reader who comes from a family with a bunch of traditions? (Aka me lol) For example, my family has a tradition of Friday night date night for my parents. When we were little, my brother and I would go sleepover at my Papa's house but once he passed when I was 13, my brother and I started having movie nights while my parents are on their date (more often than not they stay at home, but it's still super sweet). Then, on Saturday mornings my Mom and I wake up bright and early to go to the farmers market, my Dad always leaves out twenty bucks along with a note so that my Mom and I can buy ourselves each a bouquet of flowers. When we come back home, we make chocolate chip pancakes and slather peanut butter and nutella all over them. Sundays are lazy days. No friends or visitors allowed. My Mom has a pretty strict no one leaves the house rule; it's family time and relaxing day. We get to sleep in as late as we want and have sugary cereal for breakfast. We usually spend the day watching movies, playing outside, and playing board/card games together. It's just really chill in my house on the weekends, and I think Logan could really benefit from having a girlfriend who is so chill and relaxing. I can just imagine you inviting him home with you, and him being so chill and smiley playing board games and walking around the farmer's market.

Also, Logan would be so down to have weekly date nights. A designated evening for him to spoil you rotten? Sign him up!

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD LOGAN LOVES IT. once he gets real down bad and obsessed with you (which does not take long at all) he makes plans to surprise you with some fancy date or something and you're like "oh shit I can't! that's movie night. so is the friday after that and after that perpetually and indefinitely :/" he's cool with it and trying to mentally juggle things and reshuffle schedules cause you ARE his priority and you're like "but you can join us if you want!"

Logan had no idea you had a brother. he also realizes he came horribly over dressed and has never really experienced a quiet causal family hangout. he loves his family but his parents are usually off at fancy galas or fancy fundraisers or fancy business events and Honor has been obsessed with planning her wedding and making it perfect since before she was even in a relationship. his friends are more let's go get waisted off liqour that could pay off someone's college tuition types. he loves all of them - his friends, his family - but he's never really been in any "let's hang out all quiet and cozy and sober at home" circles. it's so nice, so refreshing to do that with you. your brother laughs at how overdressed he is, and you bring him upstairs to dig around for something comfy for him. one pair of sweatpants and an old summercamp t shirt later, the three of you are curled up in the living room, surrounded convenience store snacks and frozen pizza, half way through your double feature - now a triple feature, since you and your brother insist Logan picks the next movie. he relents as you all disolve into laughter, and pulls you closer to kiss you while your brother fake gags at the sight.

"this is... the best night I've had in a long time." Logan tells you quietly, a vulnerable, intimate tone in his voice, and you understand how much this, this inclusion and acceptance and normalcy means to him.

"good." you reply, smiling, "cause you're staying all weekend. I hope you like mickey mouse pancakes and cleaning while my parents blast cher."

he laughs and agrees.

"I think I can handle that."

you snuggle back into him as the next movie starts.

"just wait till I tell you about date night."

[imaginingaustin]

nyc

summary: surprising austin in new york the night he’s hosting saturday night live.

���i know, i wish i was there too. but you're gonna do amazing, and i’ll be here watching at home and cheering you on.” you said with a smile.

you were on facetime with austin, as he was in new york prepping for saturday night live. you unfortunately couldn’t take the time off work to be with him, and you felt bad, considering how nervous he told you he’d been.

“i don’t doubt that. i just wish i could look out for your during the show.” he said, a small pout pulling on his lips. you talked for a little bit longer as he told you about some of the sketches they had planned for the show.

at the end of day thursday, you were gathering your things to leave the office. just as you were walking out, you ran into a coworker.

“headed to new york?” they asked you.

“no?” you questioned.

“id figure you’d be rushing out of here to get to see austin on snl.”

“its still thursday. we have work tomorrow.”

“please. you have this place functioning like a well oiled machine. you can take a day off to support your man.” they said. you separated in the parking garage going off to your cars. you grabbed your phone and text austin’s sister, ashley, since you knew she was there already.

“what are the odds you think i could pull this off?” you asked her, after explaining your thought of coming to surprise austin in new york.

“please try! austin’s been talking about you all week and how badly he wished you could be here.” she replied. you text back and forth for a bit, putting your plans in motion. she even offered you her frequent flyer miles to help you get a plane ticket.

you spent the night getting your accommodations in order. ashley offered to pick you up from the airport since you ended up finding a room at the same hotel she was staying at.

“okay, flight is good. hotel is booked. now its time to get packed.” you said to ashley over facetime.

“oh im so excited to see you! and i know austin will be too!” she said with a smile. you and ashley had grown quite close over the years youd been with austin. it meant a lot that she was helping you with this.

“im excited too! its been too long since we’ve all been together.” you said, and she nodded in agreement. you shared your goodbyes and you packed your bags for the weekend.

the next morning, you headed to the airport to catch your flight. everything went smoothly, and before you knew it, your flight was taking off.

you managed to take a decent nap during your flight, waking up just as the pilot came on to announce your descent. once inside, you hurried to baggage claim, grabbed all your bags and stepped outside to find ashley.

you spotted her immediately, frantically waving her arms. you ran over to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

“oh, its so good to see you.” you said softly as you swayed each other back and forth. you loaded your bags into her rental and made your way to the hotel. she helped you get checked in and into your room.

since it was friday evening, and you didn’t want austin to know you were here until the next night, you spent the night in your room. you ended up ordering a ton of room service and watching movies all night.

ashley was out with austin, both of them texting you throughout the night. austin about how bad he missed you, and how much he wanted to see you, and ashley about how much austin was talking about you at dinner.

“baby, i know you know how badly i wish you were here. i think i may have to leave early saturday night so i can be home to you by sunday.”

“no, you need to get the full experience. do the show and go to the afterparty. come back to me on monday like we planned. it’s okay.”

“fine. if i must.” he replied. you couldn’t see his face but you knew he was pouting. just then, as if she could read your mind, ashley sent you a photo she snuck of austin frowning down at his phone.

“with the way he always talks about always being in the moment, he sure does have himself glued to his phone.” she wrote along with the picture.

“i’m sorry to be taking his attention away from you.”

“haha, it’s nothing. he loves you, i know it. he just misses you, that’s all. i know he’ll be so excited to see you tomorrow.”

you let them get back to their dinner and felt yourself start to fall asleep.

the next day, you were hanging out with ashley while austin had final rehearsals for snl. as the night and show time rolled around, you and ashley got ready together, and made your way to the studio. you got austin’s publicist to get you a ticket for the show and you and ashley found your way to the seats. you checked your phone and sent some words of encouragement to austin, wishing him good luck and reminding him that he was bound to do well. he sent you back a quick “i love you,” and mentioned that he couldn't wait to hear how you liked the episode.

as the show started, you sat through the opening skit, and waited excitedly as austin was getting closer to come out on stage.

once he stepped through the door, your heart skipped a beat, having seen him in person for the first time in a week. he looked so handsome.

he made his way through his monologue, making jokes about his voice, and his shyness. he talked about his mom, and dedicate the show to her memory, which brought a tear to your eye. he also mentioned something about growing up in california with his sister when he looked up at her, blowing her a kiss. he caught glance of you and you watched as his smile grew wider. he shot you a wink and blew you a kiss as well.

they then began running through the sketches. austin performed flawlessly, and you laughed so hard the entire night. throughout the show, you noticed austin’s gaze keep flicking up to you and ashley in the audience.

as the show concluded, austin came out during the final sketch, and started singing blue christmas to cecily strong, during which would be her final appearance on the show. your felt your heart swell at the sight, as the audience began singing along, as well as the other cast members who had joined them on stage.

after the final goodbyes, and once everyone began to leave, making their way to the afterparty, you and ashley made your way out of the building. you both got a text at the same time, austin letting you know where the afterparty was being held. you and her made your way to the venue and were immediately engulfed in high energy as soon as you walked in. you glanced around the room until your found a familiar mop of hair making it’s way towards you.

“there he is!” you smiled as austin pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight. he peppered kisses all over your cheeks.

“i cannot believe you’re here.” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“surprise.” you smiled, kissing him again.

“i’ll give you two a moment.” ashley said before walking off to the bar.

“ashley and i actually conspired together to get me here to surprise you.” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“my girls.” he said with a smile, glancing over at ashley at the bar. “so, what did you think of the show?” he asked you.

“you did so well! i knew you were gonna be great, and i was laughing so hard all night. also, i got to see lizzo perform, which was amazing. she’s so good.” you said. “and getting to hear you sing at the end? perfection.”

“i’m glad you enjoyed, and i’m glad you got to watch it live live. seeing you and ashley up in the audience really helped calm my nerves.” he said, a redness rushing to his cheeks.

“im glad. we’re both so proud of you.” you said as he hugged you again.

throughout the party, you and austin were inseparable. he’d introduced you to lizzo, who he’d made quite good friends with over the week, as well as some of the other cast members. the party ended up being so much fun, and you were glad to be able to celebrate with austin in this capacity.

austin ended up coming back to your hotel to spend the rest of the night with you.

“i still am so surprised that you came all this way just to see me..” austin said as he slid into the bed with you.

“just to see you, please. you are more than worth it. and im so glad i was able to pull this off.” you said rolling over to face him. he wrapped his arms tight around your waist and kissed you softly.

“i love you so much.” he said quietly, his lips barely parting from yours.

“i love you so much.” you repeated. you snuggled tightly into austin’s embrace, his warmth slowly lulling you to sleep.

[myculinaryblogtx]

Day 1: The New Job

Hello readers, it has been an eventful week...

I'm sleep-deprived, and my body is sore, but I feel fulfilled.

For the last month, I have been working at a second job at a bakery/brunch spot downtown.

I initially applied for a baking position to gain experience before graduating. But they needed someone to help expedite and run food, which is no problem as I have been a food runner at a fine-dining steakhouse for the last two years. I thought it would be similar, but I was wrong.

In my first week, I had to learn how each dish on the menu was plated correctly. The kitchen is small, but it can make fantastic food. Thankfully, the menu was new, so everyone, including me, was learning how the dishes were supposed to look, and I caught on quickly. If anything can catch my attention, it's food. Learning about the different garnishes or sauces that went with each dish was stressful but informative.

For example, we are doing a Japanese Omurice with spam fried rice. This is a typical Japanese dish, but we add hollandaise on top, a citrusy, dark soy sauce on the side, and garnish with pork floss and seaweed. It is one of my favorite things on the menu!

I don't get to garnish the dishes often at the steakhouse as most of the kitchen does it behind the line. My main objective there is to put the food in the correct order before it goes out to the guests. The most I do is ask for compound butter and sauces or pour some ketchup for fries.

But at the bakery, I get to make the plates look beautiful, and knowing I was the one who did them drives me further to pursue my studies at school.

For my latest development at the Bakery, one of my managers called me when I was visiting some family and asked if I was still interested in working on the actual bakery side, as they needed some help.

Eagerly, I accepted. They asked about my school schedule and what day I would be available for training, and the only day I was available was Halloween. I knew it was going to be an early morning, so I planned to sleep in on Friday, but fate had other plans.

A few days later, on Sunday, they posted the schedule, and my heart sank.

I had to train 4am-7am on Wednesday and Thursday.

I am not a morning person, and my usual shifts start at 9am on Saturday and Sunday. This was going to pose a challenge for me.

But I knew what I was getting into, so I sucked it up and braced myself for the hectic week ahead. On Monday, when I drove home, I promised myself that on Tuesday night, I would go to bed and wake up at 2am, as I don't live close to the city and get there early to make a good impression.

Well, long story short, I failed.

Instead of waking up at 3:30am, I woke up at 7am!

Pissed, I got dressed and ran out the door, hoping I could get to the bakery and see if I could do anything, but my manager texted me about it, and. I explained what had happened, and he told me to not come in, but he would move that training shift to Friday... Great.So, no sleeping for me then. I drove back home and went to right back to sleep. Later in the day after talking to my mom, dad, and my boyfriend, I had a plan.

I would just stay up all night.

I am a night owl so it was not that hard. I played video games and chatted with friends, and then an hour before the shift, I washed my face, changed my clothes, and left the house at 3:30am.

After waiting for someone to open, I eventually began training! I was mainly taught how to fulfill the orders we had for someone who was going to pick them up at 6 a.m. I also learned how to finish off the baked goods, such as adding chives to the bagels, powdered sugar on Danishes, and how the fruit was to be cut and presented on the pastry.

Then, I learned how to prep the next order for the later shift to bake. I would Pull dough out from the freezer and set the number we needed aside to proof. On my first day after all of that, I helped make butter pats.

Essentially, we took parchment paper and folded it into a kind of envelope. Then we had huge blocks of butter, which I used and sliced lengthways. I aligned them in the folds of the parchment and closed it back up before pounding it with a rolling pin so it would come together for my trainer to make sheets of dough for croissants.

On the second day after doing the same thing but solo, I prepped out some cookies and brownies before I was let go and drove straight home to pass out before going to my other job at 3:30pm.

I know baking is a lot, and I know it will take me a lot of drive to work out the kinks in my plans, but I feel good about this.

Next week is not as hectic. I still have to get up early, but only at 9am on Thursday and 7am on Friday. Much better. They plan to train me in actual baking and proofing. At least, that's what the note said. I am going to go check on my chicken thawing in the kitchen and think of what I am going to eat, as all I had today was coffee, 2 pieces of bacon, and a bowl of buttered noodles. They are not the healthiest choices, but I'm a broke college student, and beggars can't be choosers.

Till next time, my friends! And if you want to stay notified, follow and tag yourself below, and I'll add you next time I post!

[animalhumanemn]

We adopted Kylo from the Golden Valley site on New Years' Eve 2023.

2023 was a really difficult year for my husband and I and started with one of our senior dogs (Daisy) going to the urgent care vet on January 1st. The year progressed with her being diagnosed with degenerative neuropathy and Cushing’s. About half way through the year (on Memorial Day) our other senior dog (Duke) became ill and was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma 2 days later. It had already spread throughout his body so we made the extremely difficult decision to end his suffering and say goodbye. This was the first time we had ever had to make the decision to say goodbye to a fur-baby and it was the most difficult decision we had ever been faced with!

Returning home to Daisy (and Poppy) without Duke was heartbreaking! Daisy was never the same after he passed and developed severe separation anxiety. Her health continued to be a rollercoaster for the next few months and life without her best buddy definitely took a toll on her. In early November she developed a gagging cough and ended up at the emergency vet in the middle of the night. She was diagnosed with heart failure and atrial fibrillation. The outlook wasn't good and she had already been through so much throughout the year, that we again made the heart-wrenching decision to end her suffering and pain and say goodbye.

Two dogs in one year was more than we could bear and it broke us! We weren't sure we would ever be able to open our hearts up to another dog after we lost two of our best friends. Luckily, we had our sweet cat (Poppy) there to comfort us with endless cuddles. Her unconditional love is what got us through those first few months. After a couple of months passed, we were really struggling with how quiet the house was without Daisy and Duke. We had at least one dog in our home for the last 14 years and had never lived in a house as a couple without one. So we started to casually look at puppies online at Animal Humane Society. Our hearts slowly started to open up to the idea that maybe we could share our love with a dog again, but we were concerned about how we would introduce a dog to Poppy as her happiness and wellbeing were our main priority and concern.

We visited the Humane Society a few times over the next few weeks and visited with a few puppies, but nothing felt quite right. The Friday before New Year's Eve we saw a puppy online at the Coon Rapids location. After we both got off work we met there to go visit with him. Unfortunately, another couple already had him in a visitation room and ended up taking him home. We took that as a sign that he wasn’t the puppy for us and decided to keep looking online and decided that we would make a trip to Golden Valley right when they opened Sunday morning (New Year's Eve) to see what puppies they had available. We looked at the website on Saturday evening and had our eye on a 3-month-old puppy, Biscuit. She was absolutely adorable and we figured she was still young enough to be able to work with her on building a great relationship with Poppy.

We arrived at the Golden Valley location shortly after they opened on New Years Eve and quickly made our way back to the puppy suites. We located a volunteer and asked to take Biscuit into a visitation room. We visited with her for a while, but the connection wasn’t really there. We could see the other puppies from the room we were in and noticed a little pure white puppy watching us. My husband left the room to find a volunteer because he wanted to switch puppies and visit with him instead. Not long after switching puppies we knew something was different. This one felt right, but would he get along with Poppy? We stayed in the visitation room with him for over an hour and visited with several staff and volunteers during that period trying to decide if this would work. The last volunteer we visited with was a foster for kittens and shared her experience with us and told us confidently that she thought he would be a good fit for Poppy if we introduced them slowly. So we decided to leave that day with Kylo, still not completely sure we were ready for this, but knowing that we wouldn’t have the heart to return him, so we had to make this work!

We weren’t attached to the name Kylo so thought about changing it to Peanut. Later that evening; out of curiosity, I googled “Kylo meaning”. What popped up at the top of my search was “Sky; Heavenly” and we instantly knew we had to keep the name. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, whether we see it right away or not and it felt like this was a sign that he had been sent to us by our fur-babies who crossed the rainbow bridge earlier in the year.

Two months have passed since we brought our sweet Kylo home. His personality and appearance are an odd 50/50 combination of Daisy and Duke. While he looks more like Duke in his stature, he has Daisy’s color. He loves to cuddle in blankets like Duke used to, and sleeps with his limbs in the air like Daisy used to. He is a constant reminder of our fur-babies that have passed, but also brings a new life into our house that we haven’t had in a while. I think he is exactly what we needed to be able to move forward. I still struggle with the loss of Daisy and Duke every day, but he is there to help me through it alongside Poppy. The first few weeks were really tough introducing him to Poppy, but I am happy to report that as of a few weeks ago we are all sleeping in the same bed and Kylo no longer has to be on a leash in the house!

I want to say “THANK YOU” to everyone involved with Animal Humane Society! The work you do is so AMAZING! Kylo is our 4th fur-baby adopted from Animal Humane Society's Golden Valley location.

(Daisy & Duke are in the first picture, Kylo and Poppy are in the second picture and Kylo is pictured alone in the last one)

— Sarah & Matt

[hotheadrednecksimmer]

Looking For The Hoes - Struck by Love Legacy Challenge - Season 2, Episode 8

After the travesty that happened, Naomi decided to go out for herself. She wanted to get out and see some of the world before she started her career. She had a couple places on her checklist that she wanted to go to, and some places like Sulani that she wanted to go as she always did with her mom in the summer.

Friday Night - Naomi went to a bar in Del Sol Valley hoping to meet some people from the area.

She met this guy - who she can't remember the name of and hooked up with him.

Early Friday morning around 4 am, she found herself drunk and falling asleep on the walk home to her apartment, alone. She could feel that she needed a shower pronto from the hookup that took place in the bar's bathroom.

Saturday - Naomi found herself traveling to Sulani for the day, even though she had a killer hangover, she thought she deserved some R and R. During the day, she spent her time sunbathing and swimming in Sulani's beautiful water. She even spent some time picking up some trash that she found on the beach.

Her parents and brother went home, but Naomi decided to stay. It was great seeing them again and enjoying this family vacation that has been a constant in Naomi's life.

During the family beach trip, Naomi filled her parents in on the break up with Gabrielle without revealing that Naomi was cheated on or what she did in revenge.

That night, Naomi headed over to Sulani's local bar and began drinking. Somehow, drinking slowly had become her crutch to reality. Everything that was wrong in her life was fixed with booze and sex. While at the bar, she met another random guy and hooked up with him.

He wanted to go home with her instead of hooking up in the bathroom, but she refused. She wasn't letting anyone in her apartment except family and friends, he didn't exactly fit the bill. She was only going to sleep with him and never see him again, at least that was the plan.

She slept with him and did the walk of shame home once again. As soon as she got back to her place, she took a shower, grabbed another drink, and slept.

Sunday night - Naomi went out again before she had to clock into her job tomorrow. She went to the city, San Myshuno, she missed the city life. Del Sol Valley had city elements, but it was nothing compared to San Myshuno, the culture, the festivals, Naomi could go on. She went to Honey Pop Karaoke to get some drinks and sing to her heart's content.

At the bar, she grabbed a drink and signed up for a spot at Karaoke, there was only one spot left. As she was telling the bartender that she wanted the spot, a very handsome black haired guy spoke up at the same time.

Naomi: Hey! I was going for that! It was the whole reason I came here!

Black haired beauty: Well, there's only one spot left and it was the only reason I came here too.

Bartender: That's not true Leo, you come here most nights I'm working.

Leo: Well, my twin has outed me, but the only solution I can come up with is that we sing a duet.

Naomi: I'm pretty good, can you keep up with me?

Leo: Oh I'm absolutely positive I can.

The two wait for their turn conversing over their drinks. Soon enough, they were up and as they approached the stage, Naomi was nervous to sing for the first time ever. She wasn't sure if it was because she was sharing the spotlight with someone who she barely knew or what it was.

But as the song started, her nerves were released as she heard Leo's beautiful voice.

They're duet ended and they smiled at each other. They were perfect pitch and everyone in the audience and at the bar were applauding them.

Leo: Hey, I know this is bold, but you want to get out of here? I know a place.

Naomi was itching for an adventure and trouble, hoping that was exactly what Leo was: You might be trouble for me, yeah let's get out of here.

The pair walked out together flirting and laughing.

To be continued....

╭┈◦•◦❥•◦ Season 1 | Season 2 First | Previous | Next

[kjmsupremacist]

something sweet, a peach tree (mark/jaehyun)

Mark begins the summer after his junior year with an unpaid internship and no other plans. But when he agrees to go pick his baby niece up from her music lessons, her teacher, Jeong Jaehyun, catches his eye. Too bad he’s off limits, and not just because Mark’s niece is involved. Jaehyun is 41 to Mark’s 20.

To sate his curiosity about older men, Mark decides to look into becoming a sugar baby. He could use the money, after all. And he seems to find a willing patron right away. But for the first time in Mark’s like, he finds he might be in over his head.

Chapter 6   |  prev   next   mlist

Characters: Mark, Jaehyun, other members of nct throughout

Genre: romance, angst, smut, age gap, sugar daddy!au

Pairing: Mark/Jaehyun

Warnings: AGE GAP (older jaehyun, younger mark), alcohol and vomit mentions

Rating: Explicit/Mature we're toeing the line here

Length: 6.4k

July passes quickly and without consequence. Mark’s life is pretty much the same—weekdays spent in the office, weekends with Jaehyun. His birthday falls on a Friday, so he’s going to James and Annie’s for dinner, and then out for drinks with Johnny and Yuta and Ten. Jaehyun was the first out of everybody he knows to wish him a happy birthday, the text coming in right at midnight. Mark is trying not to think about it, because it’s making him kind of giddy, and he doesn’t want to have to explain himself.

James picks him up from work, AC blasting in his Prius. “Mom made me promise we’d call,” he warns as he pulls out into traffic. “So I’m gonna get us together for that as soon as we get home, before Lucy gets too tired.”

“Sounds good,” Mark says, amused. 

“Speaking of Lucy,” James continues, “I was hoping to take Annie on a little vacation next weekend. Just one night, we’d leave Saturday morning and be back Sunday afternoon. Think you could watch her for us?”

“If you pay for our food,” Mark agrees. “And pick me up and drop me off.”

“Fair enough,” James says, shaking his head. “You’re hired.”

Mark laments the lost time with Jaehyun in his head, but he can’t really put his heart in it. It’ll be fun to hang out with Lucy, and she goes to bed early so he can stay up playing video games or something. Besides, Mark likes Annie, so he has to help his brother do something nice for her. 

Deals struck, they spend the rest of the car ride chatting about Mark’s birthday plans. Johnny said he had an itinerary for them but wouldn’t tell Mark what it was, and Yuta and Ten both seemed pretty excited, so Mark’s a little nervous.

“I’m kind of scared they’re taking me to some crazy strip club or something,” Mark says. 

“If they are, don’t call me to come pick you up because I’m just gonna laugh my ass off,” James says, grinning, as he pulls into his driveway.

Lucy is at the door with her mother, telling Mark happy birthday as soon as she lays eyes on him. “Eomma said you’re—twenty-one,” she says. “You’re way bigger than me.”

“I think that’s the nicest way to be called old,” James says with a laugh. “Believe it or not, Luce, you’re gonna be twenty-one someday, too!”

Mark takes her hand. “I’d rather be three than twenty-one,” he says. “Three’s a good age.”

“Three’s the best age,” Lucy agrees firmly. “‘Til I’m four, and then four’s the best, and then five…” 

Annie brings dinner to the table while James tries to figure out where he wants to put his iPad for the call. Finally, he settles on leaning it up against the napkin holder on the far side of the table and calls their parents.

“Happy birthday!” his parents burst out in unison as soon as the FaceTime connects. 

“Thank you,” Mark says with a grin.

They chatter about his life, how work’s going, if he’s ready for school in the fall. His dad tells him they’ve sent him a little care package that should arrive in a couple days.

“What are your plans for tonight, Mark?” his mother asks. “Oh, do you have someone special to take you on a date?”

“No, I’m just going out with some friends,” Mark says over Lucy’s giggling. 

“Aw, that’s good, but I hope you can find someone soon!” his mom presses. “James and Annie were already together at your age. Our Mark is so smart and handsome, I’m sure plenty of boys are interested!”

“Ugh, Eomma, I’m busy with school, I’m not like James. He had himself figured out.” Mark makes a face at James across the table, trying to ignore the strange stinging in his chest. “I can barely manage myself, how am I supposed to manage somebody else?”

“But you’re all alone,” his mother protests. “We worry about you!”

Mark knows she means well, and normally this kind of questioning honestly wouldn’t bother him. He’s fine not having a partner. Except… he thinks of Jaehyun. It’s not exactly true now, that he’s alone. And Jaehyun is going to be the reason he’ll remain publicly single for the foreseeable future, at least. But he’s not the same as a real boyfriend. He never will be. Because even if Mark and Jaehyun could work something out, how on earth would he tell his parents? They’d never accept it. Would they? “I have my friends,” Mark says instead, but it sounds a little flat to his own ears. “I’m fine, really.”

“Mark’s independent,” his father chimes in, saving him. “He’ll settle down when he’s ready.”

They exchange a few more pleasantries, the parents asking after Lucy. Mark lets her steal the spotlight, mind darkening with thoughts of the future and not quite able to focus on the bright conversation at hand. He does tune back in to finally say goodbye with a promise to call soon, and they’re left to dig into their cooling dinner.

Once they eat, Mark helps James clear the table while Annie runs to “get a surprise” from upstairs. James pulls Mark’s cake out of the fridge, along with numbered candles, a two and a one. The cake is a red velvet from Mark’s favorite bakery with pale blue frosting—James said he realized only after it was going to look like the American flag, but that he was more focused on getting a flavor Mark liked and his favorite color.

“It’s fine, man,” Mark says, grinning. “Thank you anyway.”

“Here, open this first,” Annie says. “Your friends will be here any minute, and I think they’ll want to participate in singing Happy Birthday.”

“This” turns out to be a very pretty hardcover anthology of Edgar Allen Poe’s poetry and short stories. Mark flips through it, genuinely touched. “Thank you,” he says, looking up at them. “This is going in a place of honor on my bookshelf. Can I leave it here tonight?”

“Of course,” Annie says, laughing, accepting it back. 

“We were originally looking at some nice first-edition books,” James says. “You know, like those rare ones. But they require special care and storage, which I don’t think you have access to quite yet.”

“Yeah, I appreciate the thought but I’m glad you didn’t,” Mark says fervently. “I think the responsibility would’ve given me a heart attack.”

Just then the doorbell rings, and when Mark answers it, Johnny, Yuta, and Ten are waiting. “Just in time for cake,” he says with a grin, leading them inside.

The candles are still lying haphazardly on the table next to the cake. “You’re turning twelve?” Johnny asks sarcastically.

 “Dude,” Mark says, rolling his eyes over Yuta’s shoulder as he’s squeezed into a hug.

James puts the candles on the cake (in the correct order) and then lights them while Annie flicks off the lights. They all sing Happy Birthday, with Ten egging Lucy into doing some silly additions at the end, and then Mark blows out the candles and the lights come back on so they can slice out the cake.

“So where are you guys off to tonight?” Annie asks.

“Top secret,” Johnny replies. “But we promise we’ll get him home safe.”

Mark kinda feels like a little kid all of a sudden. He forgets sometimes that Johnny and Yuta and Ten are all around James’ and Annie’s age despite the fact that they’re Mark’s friends. He takes a bite of cake. He thinks maybe he’s always going to be in a hurry to grow up.

The cake is eaten, and Lucy’s getting tired, and the bus is coming soon anyway, so they head out without too much more fanfare. The sun is working on setting, so the air is cooling but still hot. Yuta slings an arm over Mark’s shoulders as they make their way down the sidewalk. “Ready for your big night?”

“I’m getting more and more terrified by the minute,” Mark replies, which makes the other three laugh. 

“We’re just taking you out to our favorite bars,” Johnny reassures him, though his grin still seems a little too wild. “We’ve just never really seen you out and about! It’s different from those little college parties we go to.”

“I’ve been out drinking before,” Mark grumbles, but he knows going to the bar for a drink with James on his nineteenth birthday in Vancouver is not the same as going out clubbing here, now.

“You have your passport, right?” Ten asks.

“Yep,” Mark says, patting his pocket. “Which I’m sure isn’t going to score me any points.”

“Maybe it’ll make you look exotic,” Johnny says.

“Or just like a fuckin’ loser,” Mark grumbles. “You all have your licenses.”

“Well, you can fix that anytime, honey,” Ten points out, and Mark just gives a groan of defeat.

They pile onto the bus, collapsing into the four-across sideways seats that are elevated over the center of the first section, Mark on one end with Johnny next to him. While those two chat, Johnny ducks his head and asks, real quiet, “How are things with the DILF?”

Mark jabs him with his elbow; Johnny doesn’t react. “They’re fine,” he hisses. “He hasn’t tried to murder me yet.”

Johnny wiggles his eyebrows. “You seeing him this weekend?”

“I told him maybe tomorrow, if I don’t feel like shit,” Mark replies. “So don’t try to get me wasted. Now shut up, if those two find out, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Johnny actually listens to him for once, and the rest of the bus ride is peaceful. Ten pulls the stop wire, and they get off on a busy street. Mark doesn’t see their destination at first, but finally zones in on an unassuming bar down the street.

Yuta notices the look on his face. “We’re starting you off easy,” he explains. “Can’t expect you not to bolt if we just threw you right into one of those gay clubs where everyone is naked.”

“We’re going to a gay club where everyone is naked?” Mark asks, looking down at his shorts and t-shirt combo.

“They have a coat check,” Ten says cheerfully. “And I brought something for you.” He points at the fanny pack that Johnny has clipped across his chest.

Mark doesn’t know if he likes the sound of that, especially not if it can fit in there, but he has to admit a small part of him is excited, too. Maybe with a few drinks running through his system, the excitement will win out. 

This bar, though, is busy but not crowded, well-lit enough that Mark can see where he’s going, and casual. They order a round—beer for Johnny, mixed drinks for the rest—and sip on them. Mark looks around the bar, seeing couples, groups of friends, the occasional loner. He wonders if Jaehyun has been to this bar. It’s a little under his general lifestyle now, but when he first came to Seattle, he was poor, and could’ve easily ended up here. The bar definitely looks old enough, far more than that. He’s not sure those sprinklers are up to code.

Mark gives himself a shake. However ominous his friends’ plans seem, he’s here to have fun with them. He can’t do that if he’s letting the ghost of Jaehyun’s younger self haunt him up and down the streets. He takes a long pull of his drink, earning himself a cheer from Ten. 

The next bar they go to is a little more upbeat, but there’s not a dance floor, so Mark guesses their plan is to get him pretty drunk before entering an actual club. That’s fine. He slams back another mixed drink and finishes Johnny’s beer when he decides he doesn’t like that one and goes to get another. By the time they leave their third bar, Mark’s definitely solidly buzzed, whatever padding he had from dinner gone. 

Good timing, too—the next place is a club, and they get carded at the door, pay a cover fee, and get their hands stamped before being allowed in. Ten drags him to the bar, where he is apparently recognized. Over the pounding music, he points at Mark and shouts something about it being his twenty-first birthday. 

In an instant, tequila shots are poured for all of them and a lime wedge is shoved into one of Mark’s hands while a small pile of salt is collecting on the back of his other one. Mark screws his eyes shut, licks up the salt, and takes the shot, chasing it quickly with the lime so he can convince his taste buds that everything is fine. 

“An extra one for the birthday boy,” the bartender says with an easy smile, passing Mark something else, which he balks at.

“Don’t be a baby, it’s a green tea shot, it’s yummy,” Ten goads, and, fuck, Mark’s being offered free drinks, and he’s always been a sucker for peer pressure, so he throws that one back, too. As soon as the glass is back on the counter, Ten is chirping a thank-you to the bartender, saying something about getting Mark laid tonight, and dragging him out to the dance floor.

“Ten, I’m not going home with anybody. Or bringing anybody home,” he shouts as they push through the crowd. 

“Oh-kay,” Ten singsongs, turning when he finds an open spot at pulling Mark close to dance. Johnny and Yuta appear on either side, so Mark is trapped. “But you can at least have a little fun. Dance with someone. Kiss someone! It’s your birthday!”

The only person Mark really wants to be kissing is Jaehyun. Jaehyun. It’s not like they’re exclusive. They’ve never even tried to discuss what they are. Jaehyun’s never made any indication that he’d mind, but… as far as Mark knows, he’s the only person in Jaehyun’s life right now. So it feels a little unfair.

He extricates himself from Ten’s hands. “Promise I’m not running away,” he says when he gets some concerned looks. “I just have to piss.”

He weaves his way out of the crowd and finds the bathroom. It’s dinky and gross, but whatever. He locks himself in a stall in case one of his friends follows him in, and then opens his text thread with Jaehyun.

hey, this is bad timing but I’m out with my friends like I said and I guess I never thought to ask if you’re cool with me like dancing with other guys and stuff? <;<<

I know it’s not like we’re actually dating or whatever but I thought I should ask <;<<

Jaehyun’s response comes pretty quick.

>>> Don’t worry about me baby

>>> It’s your birthday. Have some fun!

Mark chews his lip, looking over the message. Somehow, it’s not what he wanted to hear. He wanted… he wanted Jaehyun to say no. He wanted Jaehyun to say he was his, and no one else’s. But, he reminds himself with a pang in his chest, they don’t belong to each other. 

okay, if you say so! <;<<

I’m not sleeping with anybody else though. Promise. <;<<

He can practically hear Jaehyun’s soft laughter in the next reply.

>>> You don’t have to promise that

>>> But okay :) have a good night and stay safe! call me if you need anything

Thanks <;<<

It makes Mark feel worse, honestly. He pockets his phone and goes to wash his hand so he doesn’t look like a weirdo, and then heads back out to the dance floor to find his friends. What did you expect, dumbass? he berates himself as he excuse me, sorrys his way through the crowd. Of course he doesn’t mind. You’re just fucking. There’s no reason for him to be possessive or emotional about it. So neither should you.

By the time he spots Johnny’s head over the sea of people, he’s resolved to forget all about Jaehyun tonight. Fine, if Jaehyun doesn’t care who he kisses or who he fucks, then Mark won’t turn anyone down tonight. He’ll prove to Jaehyun (and himself) that there are other people out there for him, and that he’s just feeling a little attached because Jaehyun’s the only person he’s fucked in the last year or so. Not because it’s real. 

“Thought you really had run out on us,” Yuta shouts with a grin when Mark joins them. 

“Nah, I just couldn’t figure out the drawstring on these!” Mark shouts back. “My fingers don’t work when I’m drunk!”

Not too long after, some pretty boy comes up and asks Mark to dance with him. Mark accepts, peeling away from his group a little so they can have some privacy. Mark doesn’t catch his name but pretends he hears him after he repeats himself for the second time.

“I saw you guys chatting with the bartender!” The guy shouts. “I’ve never seen you here before.”

“No, it’s my friend that knows him,” Mark replies. “I haven’t been before.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“It’s my twenty-first birthday,” Mark explains.

“Oh,” the guy says with a smile. He leans in closer. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Mark says, leaning in, too, and kisses him. 

And it’s fine. Good, even. But he’s still thinking of Jaehyun when they pull away, and with that comes a sort of sobering disappointment. Mark tries to brush it aside. One kiss isn’t going to fix you, he thinks. You have to keep going.

“What?” The guy looks a little confused, and Mark realizes he’s kind of just been looking at him.

“Nothing,” Mark says. “D’you wanna go get another drink?”

The night kind of blurs from there. Mark doesn’t black out, per se, but he definitely loses track of time and becomes quite malleable. He lets his friends whisk him on to the next club, and the next, dancing with strangers and making out with a fair number, too. It gets a little better, but nothing sparks in his stomach the way he’s kind of hoping it does.

They reach the club Ten was talking about. He strips to booty shorts and a fucking hot pink bikini top, because of course he does, and shoves a black crop top and matching shorts into Mark’s hands. It’s not atrocious, so Mark changes, since he doesn’t fit in here in his own clothes. Yuta’s literally wearing a jockstrap and a tiny leather vest, which Mark is honestly kind of impressed by. Johnny, on the other hand, simply takes off his shirt to reveal a harness across his chest and back.

“What the fuck?” Mark asks, and Johnny just grins and saunters off to coat check.

The lighting is dark blue-purple and sexy, and everyone is just as naked as Mark and his friends, so he quickly loses his self-consciousness. Besides, Mark knows he’s hot, and this is confirmed by the number of people that put their hands on him in the span of the next half an hour or so, offering to buy him more drinks. He lets himself get lost in it, giving out kisses freely, even guiding the hands lower when he likes the person they’re attached to.

But even through the weird lust-haze and alcohol, Mark still feels kind of empty. Not in a bad, hollow way, necessarily, just a little lonely. This is fun, and these guys are hot. But they’re not Jaehyun. 

Finally, when Mark nearly trips over himself on the way to the bathroom, Johnny calls it a night. He retrieves their clothes and they gather in the bathroom to get changed before figuring out how they’re getting home. 

Mark is a short bus ride away, so Johnny offers to come with him to make sure he makes it home while Ten and Yuta try to figure out Ubers. 

“It wasn’t too much, was it?” Ten asks, slurring a little. “You had fun?”

Mark can honestly say that he did, despite his inner turmoil, so he nods. “Yeah, Tennie,” he says, trying and failing to get Ten’s face to focus. “I had fun.”

Ten gives him a happy kiss on the forehead before they head outside. Yuta takes Mark by the elbow so he doesn’t trip on the stairs, and then they’re out in the cool night air. Johnny and Mark wave goodbye to the other two and hurry down to the nearest bus stop.

“You weren’t lying to Ten?” Johnny asks. “You really had fun?”

“Yeah,” Mark says earnestly, or at least as earnestly he can when he’s not really sure what his own voice sounds like. “I think ‘m the right amount of drunk. Wouldn’t do it every weekend, but I get the appeal.”

Johnny grins, ushering him onto the bus and into a seat. “Think your DILF will mind?”

This sobers Mark somewhat. “I know he doesn’t,” he says.

Johnny blinks, surprised. “You okay?”

“I texted him to ask,” Mark explains. “If he would mind. And he just… told me to have fun.”

“That’s good, right?” Johnny asks, now thoroughly perplexed.

“I guess,” Mark mumbles. “I just—I dunno. Thought maybe he would care more.”

“Don’t tell me you’re catching feelings,” Johnny says.

“No,” Mark refutes quickly, then shakes his head. “I dunno. Maybe.”

“It’s not gonna end well, man.” Johnny’s voice has gentled, and Mark thinks that might break him. “Hey. Look at me.” Mark peeks up miserably. “You, Mark Lee, are young and hot and cool, and you can do way better than some random middle-aged guy. No matter how good of a fuck he is. Or how much money he has. Okay?”

Mark sighs and nods. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Johnny reaches up for the stop wire. “Want me to stay the night? Keep an eye on you?”

Mark shakes his head. “Nah, it’s okay. I’m not that drunk. Mostly just tired. I don’t think I’m even gonna puke.”

“Good.” Johnny leads him outside and walks him down the street to his building, all the way up to the front door. “Then have a good night.” He opens his arms for a hug and Mark accepts. “And happy birthday, man.”

“Not my birthday anymore, it’s like three a.m.,” Mark argues into Johnny’s chest. Johnny laughs.

When Mark gets up to his room, he immediately just strips and heads into the shower to get the layer of everyone else’s sweat off his skin. As the water’s heating, he unlocks his phone and finds it still open to his texts with Jaehyun.

I miss you <;<<

wish it was you tonight instead <;<<

He’ll probably regret it in the morning, but right now he’s too drunk and tired to care. He sets his phone on the counter and steps into the steaming shower. 

When he gets out, a single text is waiting for him.

>>> Go to bed, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow

Mark leaves his phone there, the text unanswered, flicks off the lights, and collapses naked into bed. Despite the spins that threaten to overtake him, he’s asleep within minutes.

///

Mark wakes with a dry mouth, a pounding headache, and the dull but insistent push of nausea in the back of his throat. He rolls out of bed with a groan and shuffled into the bathroom to gag into his toilet. Most of what comes up is burning liquid, and once he’s done, he does feel better, though the headache persists. 

He lets himself rest on the floor by the toilet for a few minutes before getting up to swish with mouthwash, since brushing his teeth is going to require hand-eye coordination that he currently does not possess. He checks his phone, which is cheerily displaying the ungodly time of 7:13 a.m., and doesn’t see any new texts.

Mouth sufficiently washed, Mark slaps around the medicine cabinet for some Advil and takes two of those with a handful of water right out of the tap, then drags himself back to bed. He crawls under the covers and knocks right back out. 

The next time he wakes up, it’s to a significantly weaker headache, no nausea, and full body aches. He lies there, weighing the merits of just dying right here and decomposing, but ultimately decides against it because Chenle’s parents don’t deserve to clean up that kind of mess. He scoots out of bed, uses the bathroom, and checks his phone while he actually brushes his teeth. 

He reads over his texts with Jaehyun last night and groans. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he thinks, rinsing out his mouth and cleaning his toothbrush. He takes a couple more Advil and then decides he should probably get some food in his stomach while he considers what to say. 

sorry about that ^ haha 😅 <;<<

about all of it really <;<<

It takes Jaehyun the time it takes for Mark’s bread to toast to reply. 

>>> All good! How’s the hangover?

>>> Think you could meet me for brunch?

Mark munches on his plain toast, contemplating. 

hangover was worse this morning, I’m better now <;<<

but yeah give me like an hour or two <;<<

>>> Okay, see you at noon!

Mark gets himself a glass of water and then flops down on his couch, taking sips of the water and small, tentative bites of his bread. It settles his stomach even more. Maybe he’ll actually get to enjoy brunch.

After letting his body adjust to being awake for a bit, he finally gets up and gets himself ready. Takes a quick shower to get the vomit-sweat off. Brushes his teeth again. Tries to style his hair. Gets dressed in something he hopes is brunch appropriate. By the time Jaehyun texts to say he’s outside, Mark almost feels like a person again.

“Hey, baby,” Jaehyun says with a sympathetic grin. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like I got run over by a semi and also poisoned,” Mark replies, dropping into the passenger seat. “Mostly fine, though.”

Jaehyun laughs. “Good twenty-first?”

“Could say that,” Mark replies, thinking of all the boys he kissed. He wants to tell Jaehyun about it. He wants to say I met so many people last night and they were all great but they weren’t you. He wants to say why didn’t you care who I was kissing? Why don’t I matter to you? He wants to say is it allowed that I let you matter to me? “Where are we going?” he asks instead. 

“One of my favorite brunch spots,” Jaehyun says. “I made a reservation last week, figured it might be around this time. It’s casual but popular.”

Maybe Jaehyun cares more than Mark gives him credit for. He made a reservation last week. Clearly, he’s been thinking about it. “Sounds good,” he says genuinely. 

The restaurant is, in fact, crowded, with a long line of people waiting to put their names down. They’re taken to a small table near the back and left alone. Mark’s not sure he should go for anything partially cooked, or anything overly sweet, so he settles on a small plate of scrambled eggs and bacon with potatoes, and stresses to their server that the eggs be well-cooked. Jaehyun laughs at him over the rim of his water glass.

“I remember my twenty-first birthday,” Jaehyun says, grinning. “I was in much worse shape than you the next day, so good job.”

“What did you do?” Mark asks, intrigued.

“Well, like you, I was from a place where I could legally drink earlier, so it wasn’t my first time having unrestricted access to alcohol,” Jaehyun says. “But unlike you, I suffered delusions of grandeur and thought I could take on that stupid twenty-one bar challenge.”

“Like, go to twenty-one bars and have a drink at each?” Mark asks, wrinkling his nose when Jaehyun nods sheepishly. “I had maybe like seven or eight drinks last night, and I think that was one or two too many. So did you make it to twenty-one?”

“God, no,” Jaehyun says. “I blacked out at like maybe twelve, and my boyfriend at the time later told me I had a few more after that before promptly vomiting them back up onto the sidewalk. At least we were outside.” 

Mark is struck with the sudden and sharp reminder that Jaehyun has lived a whole life before him. He had boyfriends when he was younger, boyfriends he loved. He’s probably had his heart broken more than once. There’s a clawing hunger in Mark’s chest to know more, to know it all, to peel back all of Jaehyun’s layers until he’s seen every last one, to lave over his most secret parts with his own tongue—and there’s fear, too; fear that he might not like what he finds, and worse, fear that he will like it, fear of his own hunger and what it might mean.

“What were you like?” he asks quietly. “When you were my age? Did you go out with your friends like that often?”

Jaehyun laughs, shaking his head. “No, I was always sort of shy and soft-spoken. I liked going out, but only if people I knew were there and only if I could get home quickly.”

Mark can imagine it. Jaehyun’s face, bright and fresh with youth, skin smooth and free of smile lines. The flush of his cheeks. The same silly laugh. He imagines him in the corner of some bar, arms crossed over his chest with a beer in one hand, tucked against his bicep. Watching his friends quietly. He imagines a red-faced and drunk Jaehyun knocking back shots amid cheering. Stumbling out onto the street and vomiting unceremoniously at his own feet. The pinch of his eyebrows. The sweat on his hairline. Mark’s heart feels like it’s been beat flat with a meat tenderizer. He gives Jaehyun an unsteady smile. “I can’t imagine you any other way,” he says.

“So, anyway, obviously the next morning I was in the worst pain I’d ever been in in my life. I spent well into the afternoon alternating between sipping a little water and going to throw it back up again,” Jaehyun continues as their food arrives. “Thank you. At one point, my friends were considering just taking me to the hospital because I was so dehydrated. I told them to wait until the evening, and I’d go if I wasn’t better by then, because I was so embarrassed and I didn’t want my parents to find out I’d been so stupid.” Jaehyun shakes his head ruefully. “Lucky for me, by around three or four, I was able to keep a cup of water down. I swore up and down I’d never drink again, but… you know how that goes.”

Mark nods, popping a potato in his mouth and making a noise of appreciation. As usual, Jaehyun’s found a great spot. “That’s kind of hilarious,” he says. “I’m glad you didn’t die.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jaehyun giggles. “I am proud to say that’s the last time I’ve blacked out from drinking, and one of the last times I ever threw up from drinking, so at least I learned my lesson kind of.”

“That is impressive,” Mark says. “I know logically my limit is about six drinks, but somewhere around drink five I get convinced I can do like five more, and it all just goes downhill from there.”

“Did you blackout last night?” Jaehyun asks curiously.

“I don’t think so,” Mark says, and then remembers his texts to him and cringes. “I am sorry about those texts from like three a.m. I literally remember thinking, like, I’ll probably hate myself in the morning, and then sending them anyway. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, laughing. “No, I was up late doing some work,” he says. “Don’t worry about it. They definitely could’ve been worse. All you said was that you missed me, which is fair. I’m pretty great.”

Mark groans. “Still, it was kind of pathetic of me,” he mumbles, stabbing at the last of his potatoes.

“Well,” Jaehyun says, chasing a blueberry around his plate with his fork. “You’re young. You’re allowed to be a little stupid. It’s okay, really. I think I’m flattered that I’m the one you’re drunk-texting.”

“Who else would it be?” Mark asks without thinking. 

Jaehyun blinks at him. “I don’t know,” he says evenly. “I don’t know what you do when you’re not with me.”

And you don’t care, Mark thinks bitterly, and then mentally smacks himself for being childish. “Please, I don’t have time for anybody else,” he says, keeping his tone light. “My god, I almost forgot. Me and James called our parents last night so they could wish me a happy birthday, and my mom started interrogating me about who I was dating since James and Annie were, like, already engaged at my age. Most unserious conversation I’ve had in a while.”

Jaehyun gives him a weary smile. “I hope I’m not keeping you from people your age,” he says.

Mark waves him off. “I’m telling you what I told my mom. I can barely deal with my own shit. Dealing with someone else is off the table.” Jaehyun gives him a weird look. “You don’t count, I don’t have to deal with you. You take care of me.”

Jaehyun’s expression morphs back into a smile, this one markedly less weary. “I certainly try,” he says. He nods at Mark’s nearly empty plate. “Ready to head out?” 

Mark nods. Jaehyun pays, and they gather their things and pick their way through the maze of tables towards the door. Mark slips into the passenger seat and Jaehyun starts the car. There’s a natural ease to it that, even though Mark’s weird tumultuous feelings, he finds comforting. 

“I think we would’ve gotten along,” Mark says. “If we were the same age and met in college.”

Jaehyun turns to smile at him, like really smile, dimples popping handsomely. “I think so, too,” he agrees. 

When they get home, shoes kicked off at the entrance and dogs tended to, Jaehyun turns to Mark. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “Wanna nap?”

Mark gives him a look. “If you’re asking if I’m feeling well enough to fuck you, I think you know the answer.”

Jaehyun laughs and kisses him. Mark melts under his touch. It feels perfect. Everything feels so perfect. He doesn’t know exactly what it is except that it’s Jaehyun. He wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s waist and kisses him, their teeth knocking in his eagerness. 

“You okay?” Jaehyun whispers when they separate.

“Just,” Mark says, but doesn’t know how to continue. How’s he supposed to explain without revealing himself? When it’s clear Jaehyun doesn’t, and won’t, feel the same way? “I know those texts last night were, like, cringey and dumb, but I really did miss you.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Jaehyun says. “C’mon.”

They head up to Jaehyun’s room, where the early afternoon sun is lighting up the space. His sheets are white today, and practically blinding. Jaehyun shuts the door behind them and heads over to the window to lower the blinds a little so they don’t get sun directly in their eyes. Mark watches him, that same terrible tenderness still holding onto his heart. All he can do is keep imagining Jaehyun younger, next to a faceless boyfriend, someone who had Jaehyun, really had him, and lost him anyway. There’s some bitter jealousy there, but also a strange kinship. Mark will join the ranks of Jaehyun’s unknowable past lovers, the way Jaehyun will join Mark’s. One day he’ll be a memory, a ghost that Mark’s future partner might never even find out about. He thinks again of a life he’ll have in that future, one that might look something like this. Lazy Saturday afternoon sex, post-brunch, in a sun-warmed bed.

Except this time in his vision, Mark’s potential future partner has a face. It doesn’t happen on purpose. He doesn’t mean to imagine it this way. But in his head, it’s the younger version of Jaehyun, smiling at him with those dimpled cheeks from across the mattress. His is the body waking up beside Mark’s, working beside him, building a life, slow but sure. One pancake at a time. 

Tears sting behind Mark’s eyes before he realizes what’s happening. Because that can never come true. As much as Mark might want it, Jaehyun’s not going to be able to wait around for him to grow up and finally be ready to settle down. By then, Jaehyun might already be well on his way to his fifties. And that’s if Jaehyun even wants him in the first place, which he doesn’t.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun’s suddenly in front of him, tilting Mark’s face up and searching his eyes.

“Nothing,” Mark manages, blinking rapidly and willing the tears away. “It’s just super bright in here. Hurts my eyes.”

“I can put the blind down all the way,” Jaehyun says, accepting this easily.

Mark shakes his head, leaning into Jaehyun, hooking his chin over Jaehyun’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his middle. “No, this is perfect,” he says. 

“Okay,” Jaehyun agrees.

They pull each other’s clothes off slow and gentle, pausing to kiss over the freshly exposed skin before continuing. Jaehyun guides them to his bed, and they settle atop the soft duvet. Mark preps him blindly, not wanting to pull away from his mouth. When he finally fucks him, it’s quiet, sweet, sensual. None of their usual roughness and quick, panting breaths. There’s something different underneath, too. Mark’s put it to the test, and he’s still choosing Jaehyun. And Jaehyun, despite all the warning signs, seems to be letting him. Something blooms in Mark’s chest, but something withers, too. He pets Jaehyun’s baby-soft hair and kisses him and tries not to imagine what his life would be if this was every day. 

But even though he knows it’s impossible, some small part of him insists. Why not Jaehyun? If things were different, couldn’t it be him?

But they’re not different, he reminds himself firmly, swallowing one of Jaehyun’s soft moans when he rolls his hips up just right. This is what you have. This is it. It will have to be enough.

“Where’d you go, baby?” Jaehyun whispers. “You seem far away.”

Mark shakes his head, both to refute Jaehyun’s statement and to clear his mind. “I’m right here,” he insists. And he forces it to be true. He focuses on the feeling of Jaehyun’s skin on his, the unsteady pattern of Jaehyun’s breath, the tightening of Jaehyun around him. The sun on his back, warm and comforting.

He comes first, but he can hardly feel it. 

[his-name-is-stewart]

10 | Call Me

They worked Monday through Friday. Driving to work early, leaving the apartment complex at 4:30 to clock in by 5:00. They clocked out at 5:00 but very often stayed well into the night. Many evenings they’d park beneath the apartment complex, then walk down the street for a late dinner at the diner.

On Saturday mornings, they’d sleep in, then wake up late and eat breakfast as they slowly chipped away at the boxes in their apartment.

On Sundays they’d work to prepare their papers and plans for the next day at work.

Wayne-Powers hadn’t wasted any time burying their new employee in mountains of work, and they weren’t really one to say that it was too much. They hadn’t asked for overtime pay for all the time they’d put in, either. Someone so new to the company had to be careful not to ask for too much, right?

So on and on it went, week after week of them barely getting a break, working tirelessly on the plans for the new chemical storage section.

Ghoul watched, wondering when they’d get sick of it.

They yawned as they pulled into the parking garage, getting to their spot pretty much by muscle memory. As they made their way out of the building and down the street, they found it hard to focus on anything but the idea of food and sleep.

Needless to say, the hand clamped over their mouth caught them off guard. They were on the ground before they knew what was happening. 

They struggled, clawing at the hand covering their mouth, trying to scream, but their attacker let go nearly as quickly as he’d grabbed them. As they lifted their head, they could see why. Someone stood, towering over both them and their attacker.

“Hands off ‘em.” His voice held a threat that the Joker seemed to recognize, as he backed away real quick.

“Hey- hey, man, I wasn’t looking for any trouble-” The Joker’s and his voice trembled, clearly terrified.

The man chuckled. “Sure you weren’t. Now fuck off if ya know what’s good for you.” He took a step closer to the Joker, who ran away immediately.

They had picked themself off the ground, and looked up at the stranger who had saved them. They blinked in surprise as they realized who it was: the person they’d seen at the diner, weeks ago. The one with eyes that looked like Stewart’s. “You- you’re-” Taking a breath to steady themself, they glanced at the ground then back up at him. “Thank you.”

He nodded, staring them down with an intensity that made them want to back away. “Let me walk ya home.”

“Well I was actually just on my way to the diner-” They stumbled over their words, barely having time to even process what was happening.

With a shrug he turned to start walking towards the diner. “Sure thing, sweets.”

Briefly they considered turning and running in the opposite direction when he looked away from them, but.. A very deeply irrational part of them wanted to talk to this guy. A criminal with Stewart’s eyes that was calling them by the nickname Stewart used to. Against what was probably their better judgment, they started walking with him to the diner.

When they got there, he held the door open for them and they stepped inside, sitting down at the booth they usually sat at. To be honest, they weren’t sure whether or not they wanted him to stay. 

“Give me your phone.” He stood at the side of their booth, blocking their way out, and looking down at them. 

Oh. Oh, fuck, this was it. This was what they got for not running away from him the first chance they got. They gulped, pulling their phone out of their pocket and handing it to him.

He took it from them. But, instead of bolting with it, he stood there. He unlocked it, and began typing something in. “If they ever try to mess with ya again, tell ‘em you’re Ghoul’s friend.” Handing their phone back to them, he raised a brow. “Call me if they give ya any trouble, yeah?”

They blinked, staring down at the contact he’d put in their phone. “I uh… thank you..?”

He nodded before heading out of the diner without saying another word.

[clementiens]

i had to say goodbye to grunkle stan on friday, i already had a vet that does house calls, so he was in my lap already and he stayed in my lap the whole time. it’s been a really hard weekend and it feels like it’s going to be a really hard week too now that my partner is back at work.

he had an emergency appointment in early november, and i’d been waiting + worrying about something like that happening again, but it didn’t. eventually i started to suspect a kidney thing because of two other symptoms, but otherwise he was completely himself, but in december, the vet said it was actually his thyroid, so we medicated that and had a followup just over a month later this past tuesday the 7th. he kept losing weight and losing energy in the last couple weeks, we gave him an arthritis shot on tuesday, but on thursday night when he was in my lap it felt like it was just time. we had a good last day together friday where he spent most of it on my lap until and while the vet came.

i was originally going to have him cremated but i VERY strongly changed my mind a few hours after i gave him to the vet. i texted, didn’t expect a response until at least the next day, didn’t expect to get him back, but they texted back and i got him back the next morning! i was told (and had already figured) that he’d been in the freezer, and i got him back in a little zippered carrier bag that honestly reminded me of the carrier bag that i’d always used for him because he hated being put in a crate. my beautiful amazing supportive partner took me to lowe’s on saturday to buy a cooler, and supplies to build an extra tall raised garden bed, so he could decompose naturally. i found guidelines from the state that included how to do this without the medication from friday affecting the water table etc and did a little googling and got a drill and stuff and i finished building it on sunday. my partner and i buried him together and i’ve been able to sit outside with him a few times in the yard which has been really nice. 

my personal feelings about how i want my body handled when i die have changed a lot over the years and it’s turned into something that i feel pretty strongly about. it ended up lining up a lot with jewish burial traditions even before i started trying to reconnect and then i ended up feeling even more strongly about it. 

while i was getting my crow and embryo tattoos, the friend who was doing them told me about a crow that their friend had found and given to them to preserve. they did it, it was technically done fine, but it felt awful, so they buried the crow instead, and the feeling was gone. the way they described it was that the crow’s spirit was still in its body and it didn’t want to be there. i felt that way about grunkle stan, i didn’t want him away from me, and i didn’t want him cremated. obviously the first night was going to be the hardest but having him away from me felt so fucking unbelievably awful and painful after having been together almost 24/7 for eight years, on my lap all the time, following me room to room, around the room, into the shower with me, through all of my health stuff and medical transition and complications. having him back home, even though i had to run right back out to lowe’s for the cooler and everything, was such a huge relief. my partner compared it to sitting shiva while he was in the cooler in the kitchen while i finished building the bed. they’ve been taking really good care of me.

eventually i’ll take him out of the bed and clean him and put him in a pot with a succulent on top (or smth like that with small roots), and that way i’ll always be able to keep him with me, which i wouldn’t have been able to do if i had just buried him since we’re renting and realistically aren’t going to stay here forever. in the meantime we’re going to paint the bed and i’m going to add a top layer for some small flowers. 

i didn’t know what to expect when i took him out of the bag they brought him back in, but before they put him in the freezer for the night, they positioned him so it looked like he was curled up and about to fall asleep. i got to pet him again and hold him and his fur was just as soft as always even though it was cold. i’ve never held a pet once they had died before (or during), and it felt like this made it so my body knows now too, and it’s helped so much with those moments where i think i feel him jumping onto the bed or i’m waiting for him to bump against my legs. with pets in the past it was always like i knew rationally what happened but emotionally and in the muscle memory, they had just disappeared suddenly, and this was completely different and it’s felt a lot more gentle. after we buried him, my partner and i went for a walk, we came back, and i started automatically trying to place him (like i have every single time i’ve come home for 8 years, and usually i wouldn’t have to try very hard because he would always run up to the door), and instead of just feeling lost, i could place him again. and then i could go and sit with him, with the image of him in the garden bed and the feeling of him in my hands.

i miss grunkle stan so much and i’m always going to, he was a special cat, he gave me so much love, and i’m feeling really blessed and relieved to be able to also take care of him after death the way i want to. he’s my big baby boy and i love him so much

[queenofvengeance]

Long train journey ahead so here's the rundown of the exhaustion

Dad dropped gma at care home

Dad goes back to Nbank

Fridge and freezer turned off in may due to fuse trip

Kitchen floor is now covered in melted rancid food that has leaked out of rancid rotten fridge and freezer

Dad has to stay and clean this, misses first night in lake district

We head to Lake District and have first night there

Dad turns up late on second day

We settle in, finally a break.

I wake at 8am to missed calls from Somerset ranging from 2am to 6am

Phone rings again

It's the care home

Gma fell in the night around 2am, they think she's broken her hip, still waiting for ambulance

Go tell dad

Realise there is nothing we can do

Try and have nice day while still checking in

Gma still on floor

Kept company but not allowed food or drink because of suspected injuries

Ambulance takes FOURTEEN HOURS to turn up

Ambulance crew ring us and apologise

Gma into hospital

Xray, confirmed hip fracture

Surgery planned for next morning

Dad heads off early next morning

Gma survives surgery

We try to enjoy rest of holiday

Dad goes in to see Gma two days in a row

Father in law starts feeling ill, doesn't have a good birthday

Feels more ill, when we get home after 4 hour drive in car he takes a test

Positive for covid.

I call dad and hospital as many times as I can until I get response

Dad picks up before he goes in

I say don't go in, go test

Dad also positive

Scott and mother in law also start feeling ill and test positive

We call Gma to try and keep in touch

She's loopy and confused, making no sense, generally mentally a mess

I'm still negative, no symptoms

Fuck it, it's on me

I book Airbnb next to hospital and go to Somerset

Spend most of Saturday and all of Sunday in with Gma

Work days are up at 8, work to 4ish, go into hospital, spend time with Gma, leave at 7 45, buy ready meal, eat, shower, bed, then go again next day

Gma grateful I am there

But never remembers I was there yesterday

Her memory is now on 2 minute loop of about 10 observations that she will make over and over again

I make friends with the other ladies on the hip break ward

ALSO sewer at home backs up

Days at work interrupted by phone calls to hospital, Dad, and engineers

Gma then told she is medically fit for discharge (lol what)

Given pathway where she could be sent anywhere in Somerset

Thursday dad finally tests negative

Given care home for rehab, it's close by to hospital

Friday we wait 6 hours for ambulance transport to move her from hospital to care home

Move into care home Friday evening

Friday night I spend in pub as bed at Gmas not built

Saturday spent in care home getting gma settled

Sunday finally go home

Now I'm back to work

Bitch I am so fucking tired, and resentful, and scared, and angry, and devastated, and grateful, and all things at all times.

[ireceived-p8250000]

December 29, 2013- January 4, 2014

Sunday

We set off early in the morning, embarking on a journey that proved to be truly healing, allowing me to momentarily forget my own shortcomings.

I asked if he could stay over at my house tonight, and he graciously agreed. After showering at home, we arrived back at my place by three in the afternoon. We treated ourselves to a delicious Samgyeopsal dinner at the Pearl restaurant, savoring the exquisite meat.

"You're not tired of me yet?" I teased.

He shook his head. "Never."

His mom called, inquiring when he would return home. He assured her he would stay at my place first, and she even requested that I join them. I swore to myself, conflicted by my feelings. My parents were due back soon, so I might not be able to go.

Later, we watched "Blue is the Warmest Color." We laughed at the girl-to-girl scenes and even made a pact not to react, though we eventually gave in and fast-forwarded through them. Before drifting off to sleep, we shared stories and exchanged thoughts.

Monday

Sir Apollo had been messaging me frequently on my other number via Nokia. Mansoor and I went into town, and I stocked up on groceries for my family.

Just in time, my parents arrived that night. We were visited by my sisters, Jean and Juaning, who shared the sad news of their in-laws' passing.

Tuesday

It was New Year's Eve, and my parents traveled to Trinidad for a wake. I bought a flat-screen television and a phone for Ran, using my salary of P32,000 plus a P4,000 bonus, totaling more than P80,000 in earnings.

We gathered around the new television to celebrate the New Year. Dad was thrilled with the setup.

Wednesday

Happy 2014! The day was gloomy, so I spent it watching "2 Broke Girls" and started diving into "Game of Thrones." My parents attended a burial ceremony.

Thursday

I decided to sell my iPad to fund a new one, so I listed it on a buy-and-sell market and Facebook. It sold quickly to a guy for P12,000.

I made a deposit and then went to the gadget store to purchase the latest iPad. I also bought a graphic tablet.

Sir Apollo wanted to meet up with me. My heart raced with anticipation. We met at Cafe Will, a restaurant bar, but couldn't stay long due to his prior commitments. However, we shared an intense make-out session in his car. The sensation of his facial hair against my skin heightened the moment.

He sucked my neck and licked my ears. He seemed to have no control of his lust.

He tried to touch my breasts. I giggled telling him to stop. I know that since he's an older man, he is experienced in sex and would expect me to give in.

"Ang bango mo," he licked my neck which tickled me.

"Is this all we are doing?" I asked.

"Well we can't be seen anywhere. We are still teacher and student."

He's still on top of me. He placed my hair behind my ear.

"Ganito, next week, enrollment--let's go somewhere, okay?"

That's a ba idea.

"Are you married?"

I asked out of the blue.

"Tinanong mo na yan diba? Would I be here if I was married."

"Many people do."

I knew I needed to tell him about my other relationship, but I didn't know how. But then he dropped me off to somewhere because I didn't want him to know my exact address.

Friday

Hollmae and I discussed attending a UDD concert, which cost P250 per ticket. She couldn't afford it, so I offered to pay for both of us. Mansoor wasn't keen on concerts. We also secured tickets for the Concoctions bar on January 25.

Tina visited today, but we didn't have a chance to talk. Roxanne was also home.

Saturday

At home, I spent the day reading Edith Hamilton's "Greek Mythology" and enjoying new subscriptions to Esquire magazine.

I found myself intrigued by a certain Erwin R-.

I binge-watched series throughout the day and contemplated learning Spanish or Japanese. I researched online schools but realized I needed to enroll for the last trimester to access my actual schedule.

There was so much I wanted to learn and explore.

[hisadoringkitten]

I don't actually know how many days right now...

The last few days have been chaos. First, he came to the realization that he could not rent the van he was planning on because he doesn't have a credit card. It derailed the pre-established timeline of him leaving on Monday and me leaving on Wednesday because now his dad has to fly down to rent a vehicle. So he was pushing back to leave Wednesday, probably a few hours before me, and having to help me clean out the place because I wouldn't have time to do so. This plan is very stressful as he's been extra volatile since having to ask his dad for help (on father's day, no less) and because it wasn't going to give me time to process before leaving myself. It also means Wednesday will be a very long day for you, driving here with the trailer after work, us loading it, me sweeping out the place, and immediately getting back on the road to empty the trailer into the storage unit and make it home in time for you to work from home Thursday on no sleep.

Now, it looks like I might leave Saturday night when he gets off work. It moves my timeline up considerably but cuts down the stress of an extra 2 days with him in crunch time and leaves most of the clean out up to him. It'll have to be fast-paced, but it's doable. I don't have much more to pack, mostly just my clothes and probably 2-3 boxes. I'll have to take Reggie, my dog, to the shelter a bit earlier, but that's fine. I still need to hand off my keys to work and sign some paperwork with them. I have a doctors appointment that I'll have to move to your town for workers comp and move the storage unit reservation, but that's fine too. It'll be busy, but it means you don't have to pull an all-nighter and have to work the next day. Your daughter wanted to come visit her grandma, so you were considering coming to town anyway, and this would cut way down on the trips, the pace, and the chaos. With this, you'd come into town Friday after work, drop her off, and stay the night at your mom's. Then, we can pack up the trailer while he's at work Saturday afternoon and leave when he gets off work. We'd get into town early Sunday morning but reasonably rested, unload the trailer, and make our way home with enough time to rest before you go in to work on Monday. It'll also give me a bit more alone time to process, and the kids won't be crying and processing on the trip. I think it's all around better and safer for everyone.

I'm surprised he agreed so easily, I think he just wants me out of the way. That's fine. We'll discuss it tomorrow and decide then.

[casspurrjoybell-26]

Too Old For This - Chapter 17 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*    

As early as six in the morning on Saturday Zachary was sitting in his wheelchair next to the full-length window in the sunroom.

The event of the day was Leroy coming over.

Since the man had asked if he was allowed to come over on the phone on Friday even, Zachary was barely able to catch a wink of sleep.

The past week of deep anxiety and crying over the state of their relationship, had molded into panicked pacing in his room and staring up at the ceiling deep in the night as he waited for the aforementioned Saturday to come around.

The whole week had been hard on his body.

Dehydration from crying and lack of sleep.

Forgetting to eat and being constantly on the edge checking his cell-phone even though the light hurt his eyes.

He didn't feel well.

In fact, that whole situation was something he'd probably need a week or two to recover from but he didn't want to turn down Leroy coming over.

The thought of seeing the man after he thought Sunday was probably their last day meeting made his chest tight and face warm.

So, he watched from the sunroom, patiently waiting for the lean man with thick eyebrows and a head of shiny dark hair.

"He's taking his time, isn't he?" Zachary said, turning over to one of the cats who had walked up to him and meowed.

It was only maybe nine in the morning now but Zach was impatient.

He tapped his feet against the floorboards and occasionally looked back to the sitting room area to look at the clock right about the sofa.

Time moved so fast and he wondered why he'd never noticed that before.

He wasn't sure what they were going to do besides talk.

They hadn't planned for anything besides meeting up but Zachary couldn't really care less.

They'd figure something out.

Leroy didn't text Zachary until a few minutes to eleven in the morning.

MESSAGE FROM: LEROY.   

I'll be heading out in a bit. Had to talk to my mum and sort some things out for work.

SATURDAY, 10:48 AM.

Zachary stared at the text, nibbling on his lower lip as he read it.

He sent Leroy a thumbs-up emoji as he tried to figure out when exactly Leroy might get there.

From how long it usually took Leroy to confirm he's gotten home after leaving his place, he would guess it was anywhere from a ten to twenty-minute walk and if Leroy wasn't leaving right away, he would probably leave at eleven on the dot, so Zachary started to expect him anywhere between eleven ten to eleven-thirty.    

Time continued to pass slowly and at a point, Zachary was even counting the seconds, he was so focused on that, that he didn't hear the knock on the door and the cat meowing from outside.

It was only when his ears picked up Leroy's voice did, he look up and was met with the sight of the man on the porch squatting and petting a cat.

His face flushed and he felt like there was something lodged up in his throat.

He got up as quickly as he could, making his way to the door and when it creaked open Leroy looked up at him.

The two men both stayed quiet for a bit, with Zachary staring down at Leroy and Leroy looking up at him.

They both seemed to be taking in each other's looks, as if much could change in five days.

They both looked exactly the same of course but the intensity of the emotions they felt had them looking for little changes in appearances and demeanor.   

For example, it was the first time Zachary noticed how long Leroy's bottom lashes were.     

'Fuck,' the older man scolded himself, blinking and then opening his eyes again.

"Do you want to come in?" he asked and Leroy blinked as if he'd just realized they'd been staring at each other in silence for what seemed like minutes.   

"Yeah, of course," the younger man said, letting go of the protesting cat, before standing up.

Zachary had always been taller than him but Leroy felt it more now that his eyes were in line with the man's lips.

He swallowed the spit in the back of his mouth before making himself stare at the floor.

It was plain and not as interesting as Zachary's face but at least he wouldn't be tempted to make out with it.  

"Err... I don't know what we can do... I guess we didn't figure that part out," Zachary said, laughing awkwardly as he stepped out of the way.

Leroy walked into the house, still avoiding Zachary's gaze as he made his way into the spacey bungalow.     

Leroy followed Zachary to take a seat on the sofa and they both sat in silence for a while, not saying much to each other.     

"So..." Leroy trailed, breaking the silence.

"I... I don't know where to start..."     

"You said you liked me," Zachary said, cutting him off.

"Are you gay? Or bisexual maybe?"

He'd been wondering about this since Sunday.

Trying to figure out if he had a chance or if this was something Leroy would run from when it all got too much.     

"I.... I don't know," Leroy answered honestly.

"I mean, I tried to date girls because I'm sure I like girls. I've not really had thoughts about men like that until you..." Leroy trailed.   

"Though, I think growing up people called me gay a lot because of my height, how I look like my sister, etc. So, I guess I never entertained the idea because I was too self-conscious about it," Leroy admitted and Zachary nodded.     

"I see," the older man said and Leroy sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"I liked kissing you. I'd do it again and again, fuck," he said, closing his eyes briefly before letting out a sigh.

"When I'm with you, I overthink things because I want to touch you... I want to be with you that way, I think."

"You think?"

"You know what I mean..."