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crystal-cliffs · 14 days ago

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One day I will reach coherency

Today is not that day.

Everyday I want to write the Tsaritsa x Arlecchino but I’m in a writers block and can’t write at all

They intrigue me in that Arlecchino is a harbinger that seems to be in it for herself and the safety of her children and no one else, she doesn’t seem interested in the Tsaritsa at all (she seems to respect her but also arlecchino seems to have a fucked up relationship with respect too or something…) and would probably prefer to just never be involved with her, but I also can’t ignore the fact that when arlecchino dropped and we got her voicelines and her animated short I got the initial impression of The Tsaritsa trying to manipulate her.

Maybe I don’t understand how federal prison or whatever works though, because it’s “the Tsaritsa pardoned me” like yeah… she did. That doesn’t make her compassionate when little Peruere was capable of being a weapon for her to wield too. Like yeah she pardoned you and you joined her ‘we’re gonna fight heaven’ cult… what? I know genshin is spinning the story of an archon who is just so gosh darn sad and jaded or something but I can’t… I probably won’t be able to take that seriously if they do. Maybe, we’ll see.

Yeah…

I don’t know i think they’re fucked up and since I want to get back on my wolf bs because I miss thinking about wolf arle

Wolves are not domesticated, the same way I think the Tsaritsa and by extension the rest of the Fatui we have left can’t control her. Maybe I imagined it when going through her content but I always got the impression at the very least the ‘heartless businessmen and dignitaries’ (which I think are supposed to be Pantalone and pulcinella idk) are trying to control her. I think to an extent pardoning Peruere was an attempt at control, shoving a muzzle on the dangerous dog and trying to turn it into something you can control and use. Arlecchino follows orders but she talks as if it’s merely a consequence of her position.

(Of course all the harbingers have their own agendas and what not, but it’s point made that arlecchino’s loyalty is shaky, non existent, or fake, probably perceived that way because of how she views respect and hierarchy.)

Arlecchino is the exotic trade wolf kept outside on a chain that doesn’t grow with her and is viewed as a novelty. I said it different earlier but I don’t think she’s viewed as a weapon in the same way the Tsaritsa might view like tartaglia or Capitano as weapons. In my own head Arlecchino is a novelty that The Tsaritsa shouldn’t be able to control but she can and it’s fascinating and never boring because arlecchino still thinks she’s the one in control.

Yeah I feel like I’m supposed to think what the Tsaritsa did for arlecchino was like… nice, but I can’t and I won’t. I got that way about arlecchino in her SQ too, times where the characters did something fucked yo but then it feels like hoyoverse is trying to tell me it wasn’t fucked up.

Or I don’t know.

I love wolves, that’s all. Tired of pretending I don’t. Wolves are cool. I wish people weren’t killing them for merely existing at every point in recent history.

#uhh #tw grooming #it’s implied #what was the obsession with wolves though? why was every kid obsessed with wolves at one point?#it’s like a canon moment in a life is to just really like wolves #eh #I ramble #this is not a theory this is my silly little headcanons because deep deep down…#I don’t think they’d characterize the Tsaritsa the way I see her in my head #hoyoverse can’t justify enlisting children into cults to me #and then also having your cult member enlist more members into your cult #like… okay maybe we’ll get the ‘she did it to protect them because she’s the archon of love’ like they did with arlecchino which I guess is #fine I mean I accept it with arlechino but that’s because my interpretation of the text was always that it was a role forced upon her #not something she willingly chose #but I also seem to be the only one with that interpretation so I could just be plain wrong 😭#˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊crystal talks

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blarrghe · 6 months ago

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I do really dislike the nothing matters approach to the past games that Vielguard has for the conflicts like. The Qunari threat has been talked about and telegraphed heavily for three games, there's an interesting if flawed sociopolitical ideology conflict at play and it's just a matter of time before that comes to a head.

except actually the Antaam broke off from the Qunari, don't follow the same ideologies at all, and that's why they're invading. what does that mean for Qunari society and the political ideology it runs on? Not gonna talk about it. the endgame of all that intrigue is just corrupt flamethrower wielding terrorists extra corrupted by evil entities that you can kill in droves.

I was never super up on that part of the lore to be honest but I just. if any aspect of the Qunari conflict felt oversimplified before it's so much more so now.

And same thing in Orlais. There are novels I haven't read worth of history on its imperialism and budding servant class revolution that is completely intertwined with the politics of a crusading religion and heavily ingrained racism. You have the opportunity in the last game to really stir that pot one way or another by having a hand in who the leader of the country will be with your options ranging from a militaristic nationalist to a puppet government controlled by elvhen rebels. you can even force a tense compromise and wouldn't it be fun to see how that works.

except actually a faction of the Orleasian nobility has joined the bad guy cultists who are also their longstanding religious rivals from Tevinter, because they got more corrupted by the evil entities and are now driving the conflict in the south that the Inquisitor is dealing with wholly on their own. There was some intrigue in the codex I read about this but also it's not your problem at all and again, the real problem is the evil entities from the fade that you're going to defeat anyway.

I dunno. I don't even think you needed to count player choices from previous games towards the Qunari conflict much as player choice never really touched that, but fine.

#by flawed I mean I do believe there's room to criticise how the qunari ideology and conflict has been written previously #but like to just scrap it?#eh #listen I could be wrong about lore #I could always be wrong about lore #but I just get very ''eh scrap it there's just one simple bad guy problem in the world'' vibes from like. all of the politics in this game.#which is boring!#da4 #da:tv #veilguard critical

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necrotic-nephilim · 10 months ago

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For the ask game: A Damian who never got the sex talk or a consent talk from Bruce (both bc he assumed that Dick, son-wife extraordinaire, would take care of that and bc he thought that Damian would be ace or celibate or something) and so in his teens after only learning about sex from the internet he just becomes like, wildly inappropriate about his crushes, including unfortunately his older siblings, especially Dick, Tim and Cass

This includes not just the bat-typical stalking online and irl, but also making comments on their bodies, flirting excessively, and one notable time, masturbating in the living room of Dick’s apartment

Everyone is torn on how to address it, if they should be saying anything at all, I mean, he’s just going through puberty, it’s just a phase right?

for the ask game!

i LOVE it when Damian has like. zero concept of how relationships work and no one thinks to talk to him about it, leading to wildly inappropriate behavior. it's my fave flavor for any Damian ship.

obviously, his first crush is Dick. and because Damian has had such little interaction with healthy romantic relationships, he doesn't even *realize* that's what he's feeling. in concept, he understands sex. but he has a very clinical definition of it, viewing it as coupling to produce an heir. (100% influenced by Ra's) so sex as a pleasurable thing, as something driven by romantic interest, that's foreign to him. he refuses to show weakness and he needs to be hyper-independent, so he falls down a google rabbit hole. i love the idea of Damian accidentally stumbling into like, forums and subreddits based on what he googles that are for people with incestual fantasies and it ends up giving him the WILDLY wrong idea about what's normal. he makes his own account and becomes mildly chronically online about it. at first, it's just a safe outlet for him to vent about his feelings. bc deep down Damian *does* know this is a little wrong and weird, he knows Dick doesn't exactly reciprocate and he understands there's a difference between familial and romantic love. but the more Damian is reading other stories online, the bolder he gets. and he starts getting more open about his attraction.

not only does he get more open about it, but his attraction spreads to Cass and Tim. for Cass, it makes sense. they grew up similarly, if anyone understands the guilt of being raised to be an assassin and now trying to atone for it, it's her. Damian respects her raw ability and naturally it turns into a crush. for Tim, it's harder to explain. he hates Tim with his whole being, doesn't see Tim as his brother. it starts as sexual attraction first, with Tim. for Dick and Cass it was romantic first, but not Tim. watching Tim train shirtless, Damian almost hits himself in the face with the workout equipment he's using. since he's never considered Tim a brother, he's never considered Tim seriously when he's thinking about incestual feelings. it startles him to be attracted to Tim too. honestly? fun concept that Damian gets so in his head with an incest kink that he finally accepts Tim as a brother to him because he's attracted to Tim, therefore this must mean that some part of Damian views him as a brother because Damian has just. entangled those feelings internally.

it's when Damian is attracted to them as well, that they all start to notice. Cass notices first, and she asks Tim about it, since she can tell Damian's feelings are toward Tim and Dick as well. they have a conversation about it and ultimately decide they can't change Damian's feelings, and they don't want to embarrass him about it because he's young and going through puberty. Tim had his own childhood crush on Dick, it happens, he really gets it. they loop Dick in, who is absolutely thrown by the concept. for a while Dick doesn't believe them. he's convinced they're reading into things. until Damian starts getting more bold. going from openly staring that could be interpreted a lot fo ways to excess compliments and flirting. Dick's used to comments about his body, they slide off easily. but when Damian very loudly makes a comment about Tim or Cass' body, Dick balks. he tries to. carefully tell Damian that there are boundaries to certain relationships and he needs to be more respectful. Damian doesn't take it seriously because Dick won't address it head-on and is dancing around the topic. Damian either doesn't think Dick is serious, or he thinks Dick doesn't understand the depth of his emotion outside of sexual desire. so he starts trying to be more romantic. flirting, gifts and gestures. it's very sweet and almost childlike, how hard Damian is trying. Cass thinks it's cute and doesn't mind it. Dick is trying carefully to let Damian down gently. and Tim is just baffled, not really sure what to do with the *very* nice new bo staff Damian got him that's reinforced and admittedly, very well balanced.

Damian gets bolder. his touch lingers, his comments get more sexual. and of course, the breaking point: he jerks off in Dick's living room. he does it when Dick is busy in another room, taking a shower. Dick comes in just as Damian reaches completion, gripping one of the throw pillows on Dick's couch. Dick leaves the room, pretends he didn't see anything and gives Damian the chance to clean himself up. but when he comes in the room, they both know that Dick knows. Dick decides he has to be more firm with his boundaries. he sits down and tells Damian it's okay to have a crush, but this is not okay. Dick repeatedly calls it "puberty" and a "phase", and Damian gets more caught up on Dick denying the realness of his feelings than the rejection. he doubles down, because he perceives the issue as Dick just not understanding how real Damian's feelings are. this isn't some silly teenage phase to Damian, he knows his feelings. obviously, the issue must be that Dick, Tim, and Cass don't understand that. so he does his best to act more like an adult. he's far more reasonable on patrol, he doesn't pick fights, he's independent. all the issues Dick has been having with training Damian suddenly vanish and well. Dick knows why, but he has to admit, it is far easier to work with Damian like this. at this point, Tim just finds the whole thing funny. Cass doesn't enjoy the sexualized comments about her body, she's always been hyperaware of how others will oversexualize her, but she still sees Damian as a young kid and doesn't lash out at him over it. she's dealt with far worse, and she doesn't want to make him feel bad about a crush.

if i were writing this, i think it'd be fun if Damian's feels do eventually fade. he stops going online so much and he gets other things to focus on trying to be a good vigilante and soon his efforts aren't about his feelings, he's just genuinely focused on himself. he grows back and Dick, Tim, and Cass breathe a sigh of relief about it really just being some phase. that is, of course, until someone new joins the Batfam and the cycle starts again. maybe it's Duke, maybe it's someone else like Terry. but at the end of the day, Damian's incest kink wins out and maybe this time, he actually succeeds. he gets his new person of affection to reciprocate with all of the attention he gives them and Dick just has to watch from the background, facepalming. bc at the end of the day, Damian will always get what he wants, sooner or later.

#necrotic festerings #ask game #batcest #damitim #damidick #damicass #i LOVE emotionally constipated damian having no clue how to relationship. man it's great.#this is so fun bc like. it seems very realistic to me #damian does seem like the type to accidentally give himself an incest kink bc he ended up the wrong side of the internet.#it makes me giggle thinking about it.#i think you could also do an endgame of damitim or damicass with this #damicass is so underrated i fear #but so is damiduke. so like #that's probably where i would go with it #more duke in batcest content. i demand it.#or terry. damian's complex over terry could be fun.#but i dislike terry existing outside of the batman beyond universe so. eh #i think the potential of shipping duke with any of the other batkids is so much fun #makes me willing to leave pre-flashpoint just bc i think he's neat.#anyway any damian ship should involve damian being terrible at boundaries. it's great 10/10

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telesodalite · 2 months ago

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Thinking about KrokFire...

Thinking about them sparring in the cargohold, because it's a long trip, and cabin fever is setting in, and Misfire is gonna pop a gasket if he doesn't do something about it soon, since flying in open space gets real boring real fast, and it's making everyone a little nervous, but Krok has time to kill, and maybe, quietly, he's also two steps away from doing something stupid just to feel alive again after cruising around pointlessly, mindlessly, endlessly, for so so long... (It's barely been a month)

And sure, Misfire is a terrible sparring partner. He has no technique, no concept of proper balance, or an inkling of how to use the weight of his own frame. He rushes headfirst like he's more bull than fighter jet, he talks too much, he spits, he bites, and he can't stand losing. But, in a roundabout way, it almost makes him the perfect partner in Krok's eyes.

Crankcase won't spar, "can't" he claims flatly, gesturing at the gaping hole in his helm, but Krok can respect his want for distance. That occasional flash of fear and frozen unease in Crankcase's visor in close combat doesn't go over his head. He knows that look. He gets it. He won't push.

Fulcrum... well, a streetlight might be a tougher fight, or at least it would stay up longer and complain less. So much for a once respectable officer of the empire. What was Deathsaurus' command thinking promoting anyone without any actual combat training? It would almost be pathetic if Fulcrum didn't find a way to put the vitriol of thrown fists into his words instead. Now there was some swears Krok hadn't heard in a couple millennia, it would be inspiring if it wasn't his own spark Fulcrum had been damning to the pits and back through a bloody nose.

Spinister? Now Spinister was a good fighter, a better fighter, Krok wasn't so prideful to deny that truth. He'd tasted the dust of the cargohold floor enough to know it was a definitive fact. But Spinister held back, he was careful, he matched Krok's pace, his movements, he held himself defensively, any attack was quick, simple, and merely restraining. It was less a fight, and more a waiting game until Krok finally gave up, and that... well, that did sting a bit.

But Misfire? Misfire was a different beast all together. Sure Krok could dance circles around the flier all day, but it wasn't totally effortless work, he had to stay sharp, Misfire was so predictably unpredictable, he kept him thinking, moving, on his toes, and maybe it felt good to sidestep another stupid headfirst charge, easily grabbing and swinging Misfire around by his arm, so unbalanced all Krok had to do was let him go, and the weight of his own frame would send him careening into the crates stacked around them.

Most days, Misfire would give up by then, pull himself off the pile of overturned cargo with no small amount of burning shame and frustration, as he avoided Krok's optics and stormed off into the bowels of the ship before Krok could say something to ease the sting of losing again and again. Misfire didn't want his apologies though, and even as a pang of guilt ate at him over it, Krok knew he'd be back eventually.

But today, too pent-up and bored to quit now, Misfire pushed himself back onto his feet and charged back in again, and again, and again.

And Krok moved with him again, and again, and again. It was almost repetitive, but lively enough that he could feel the energon pumping through his head, a thrumming beat in his audials that reminds him of deafening battlefields and roaring stadiums, and oh, he'd missed this feeling, the adrenaline, the movement, more so than he thought he did.

Maybe it's the overconfidence that gets him then, or the memories pulling him out of the present, but Misfire's fist suddenly comes slamming down into his mask, and for a moment everything becomes a blur, until he finds himself on the floor, clutching at the shattered metal falling from his face in disbelief.

Faintly he can feel the twinge of broken mesh, of pain pinching dully across scarred flickering sensors, and maybe it's the adrenaline that pulls a suprised and breathy laugh out of him as he stares down at the pieces in his hand.

Maybe it's also the disbelief, the sudden shock at being struck hard enough to break his mask, by Misfire of all mechs. Or maybe he's cracked his helm, finally snapping something important deep in his processor, some vital function that kept him sane all these years.

Either way, an old familiar buzz of heady energy fills his chest, loosening his joints and straightening his struts as he stands back up, brushing off the broken remains of his mask as he stares back at Misfire, barefaced and bleeding and amused as the flier's optics go bright and wide.

And all Misfire can do for a moment is stand there, wide-eyed and breathless, his own adrenaline filled frame and hammering processor still trying to make sense of the broken plating of his knuckles and the energon trickling down Krok's scarred lips.

But connections are made, and it's a panicked realization at first, a cold dread, a 'ohhhhh fuck oh primus I fucked up I'm dead I'm so fucking dead-!' sort of feeling, as Krok's marred face breaks into an energon stained grin. But then there's another feeling, growing somewhere underneath the panic, a sudden curl of heat in his chest, a flush of pride, conviction, a sort of frenzied joy at the sight of broken mesh and fresh energon, and another rush of hot anticipation as Krok began to move again, circling, waiting, an unspoken question in the air as he rolls his shoulders back and flexes his hands.

And Misfire answers eagerly, suprising himself almost as he charges foward again, wanting more of that feeling, wanting to win again.

It's not really sparring past this point, and somewhere in the back of their minds they both know that. Every strike, every kick, every punch, it's all thoughtless instinct, each clash of plating, and bite of denta, and scrape of fingertips, is part of a mad dash for victory in the gladiator pit of scrap and debris they've built around themselves.

Of course, it can't last forever. They're no real gladiators, no phase-sixers, no primes, and movements get sluggish, vents rattle and wheeze as coolant pumps reach their limits, and building condensation slides powerless punches right off of scuffed metal and mesh.

Even like this though, worn out and bleeding from more scrapes than he had half a mind to count, Krok is still better, and Misfire is still predictable, and it's no great feat to sweep his legs out from beneath him, landing him flat on the floor, wings spread out and chestplate heaving.

Overworked joints sharply protest as he goes to pin the flier down bodily, and finally Krok faces the fact he has to consider how to end this, so he might let his own beaten frame finally still for a moment to breathe.

But as Krok catches one flailing arm in his grip, scoffing at the desperation, still goading Misfire on even as he tries to end this, a hand stubbornly catches his throat, but stops before it can truly squeeze.

And once more they're not really moving, just staring, watching, but it's less wired and tense now, rather, its shaky, a little unfocused, as exhaustion filters out in heaving puffs of hot air between their frames.

Someone's plating is rattling, Krok isn't sure if it's his own or Misfire's, but the cost of adrenaline is painfully noticeable now. His grip loosens on Misfire's arms, and the idea of total victory is less sweet as his cables begin to ache throughout his inner-framework.

But Misfire's hand slides up to catch his jaw before he can lean back and relent to a truce, and he's pulling him closer, and Krok starts to push him off, call it quits before either of them breaks something past repair, but a flash of energon on Misfire lips catches his eye, and that hadn't been there a moment ago?

Before he can even begin to ask what that was supposed to mean, Misfire is pulling him down again, angling his helm upwards to feverishly meet his lips half-way.

Although the mesh of Misfire's face was throughly bruised and scuffed, Krok had frustratingly failed to return the favor of a busted lip. So, it had to be his own, smeared across Misfire's face at some point in the scuffle, it shouldn't have been interesting in the slightest, but Krok's processor was hazy, slow, and his optics trailed Misfire's glossa as he licked his lips and made an odd curious sound.

And maybe it was a stupid move to make so impulsively, one he'd regret making probably, but still too caught up in the waning heated high of the fight, Misfire figured he could worry about losing such a hard-earned battle later. Right now, this seemed far better than actually winning, and the taste of Krok's energon felt like a victory and reward nonetheless.

Bracing himself as Misfire wriggled his other hand free to splay out over his thigh, holding him desperately against his frame as he tried pulling him even closer, Krok considered the heat dispersion warnings flickering distractingly in his peripheral, and the very noticeable strain on his back and legs, even his arms.

It's not a great position to be in right now, after all they've done already. He'll regret it, he knows he will, his body will make sure of it, if Spinister doesn't first.

But then Misfire's glossa is sliding against the jagged edges of his teeth, and he's making hoarse little pathetic noises into Krok's mouth that stoke some sort of ego at having the flier so desperate beneath him, and Misfire's hands are warm and heavy over aching plating and seams, and really, on second thought, after weeks of boredom, why the hell not?

They've got nowhere to be.

#*cough* uh. 👋👁👁. hi. nice to see ya. lovely weather we're having eh? what was that? oh. editing? spell checking? never heard of her #this is just... pure unfiltered mental spiraling. could i have written it down in a proper fic? yes indeed. did i? ha! nope #''jesus fucking christ teles'' you might think. ''go the fuck to sleep'' and i agree. but!#i get my best ''visions'' in the acursed hours between midnight and daybreak. and also the gumption to actually write shit down #i am a coward when the sun is out and im (mostly) rested. id never post at all if it weren't for the confidence of sleep deprivation #...thats a lie. but it feels true. its easier to not overthink shit at night ig? i 'unno :/#anywhoooo. so. uh? that was smth. i said i thought they should kick the snot outta eachother and i meant it #jokes aside. i genuinely wanted to plot this idea out in like. proper fic form. but i havent had the brain power to do so #so. yeah. its all flow of thought ig. which technically counts. but still. not as proper and neat as id prefer from myself. but ehhh #better to make something instead of nothing. right? probably. ya know what? yes! bcs ai cant fucking compete with my shitty 3-5am spirals #gonna stop myself before i start thinking abojt all that ai shit ahain. ive never been so pissed in my life as ove bern these past months #fuck ai man...#i need to sleep. theres birds chipring. which is dope. always. but still. gotta sleep thru that.#uhhhhh #cw suggestive #<- just in case? maybe? idk #not gonna tag this onr me thinks. if ya see it ya see it👁👁👍#quick noye tho. in tbr fic plan. i thought of ending it with fulc wandering in asking for smth or other-#-only to pause mid-sentence. gawk at all the damage. and the fact thr mibs is vaguely tryinf to eat krks face off-#-before politely excusing himself with an apology for intruding. as the logical side of him goes for speen to give a headups-#-and the rest of hims fianly accepting that smth is def wrong with him bcs ....goddamn😳 maybe sparrings not so bad🤔#they shoudl invitr him.to eatch mayhaps. crkcsr can bring popcorn. and speen can stress the fuck out over ebery ding and dent #i hate thrse losers so much. i say as they still somehow consume ny every waking thought

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