#could be platonic or romantic doesnt really make a difference

[br1ghtestlight]

Have i asked about your tinimmy headcannons yet?

Also bestie how have you been? This is a Lil check up hehe >:)

🏡

i dont think so hello!!! im doing okay i get to go clothes shopping for fall tomorrow bcuz its getting colder out and i own exactly one pair of long pants atm. so im excited for that. other than that im depressed but not in a sad way just in a meh way

they played together a lot when they were kids :D mostly bcuz tina didnt have any other friends and she was the only person who didnt mind jimmy junior's random dance breaks (which was very bad but she thought was amazing) but they played together during recess and after school :) neither bob nor pesto liked this but their wives were like stop being assholes this isnt about ur stupid rivalry they are five years old

tina and jimmy jr get cast as juliet and romeo in the shakesphere play for english class and both of them give it 110% (tina bcuz she relates to the romance aspect of juliet and jimmy jr bcuz he relates to the going against the family aspect of romeo) they both end up getting an A+ and make the teacher cry with their performances

tina was the first person outside his family that jimmy jr told about his parents getting a divorce. she found him crying during recess in like third grade and he told her everything. one of the only times tina has seen him genuinely cry (he tries to act tough around her most of the time)

they've already agreed to go to prom together AND made an agreement that if they've both single at 30 they'll get married. later in high school they make an amendment that if one of them discovers they arent straight they don't HAVE to get married but they still have to go to prom together as friends

once tina forgot to bring a jacket to school when it was cold & rainy and she was outside at recess shivering and miserable and jimmy jr offered her his jacket so she wouldn't be cold <3 very simple gesture but she will never let him forget it and calls it the most romantic thing he's ever done for her

jimmy jr really does care and worry about tina A LOT whenever she trips or hurts herself at school (which is a lot knowing tina) he's always the first person to ask if she's okay or if she needs to go to the nurse. he's always worried abt her bcuz she's pretty clumsy even if he acts cold and uncaring

they are VERY competitive when playing any type of game together like put them in a room with mario kart 8 and they become sworn enemies. they almost killed each other over a game of monopoly

their first date was in fifth grade. their class was going on a field trip to wonder wharf but jimmy jr and tina snuck off from everybody else & held hands and jimmy jr bought her cotton candy <3 they still like hanging out there sometimes although its hard not to bring their siblings along so it isnt really a date at that point

when people make fun of tina behind her back at school (usually tammy and jocelyn) jimmy jr will NEVER go along with it even if they broke up or they're fighting bcuz thats still his friend and he doesnt want to be mean to her. he will defend her if it comes down to it but usually they just stop when he doesn't laugh or he says "that isnt cool guys"

they like passing each other little notes during class with doodles or hearts or whatever and tina keeps them all in a special box in her bedroom. jimmy jr probably forgets about 90% of them but he saved a few too

jimmy jr and tina have never missed each other's birthday since they were in kindergarten :) all the way until they graduate high school they go every single year even if they arent really talking or they're dating other people and they always invite each other. the closest they ever got to missing one was when jimmy jr's dad didnt let him attend her 13th birthday but he made it in the end hehe

[themindelectricdemo4]

i got a new roommate thre other went aaway..........she is so wonderful & nice to me. her name is very cute too. she is epic hope hses hanving a fangtastic week

[laikabu]

saw someone who hc kabru as aromantic bisexual. thats actually kinda good. i dont necessarily subscribe to it but i could see it. not fully aro but in the spectrum i guess

im now just going to ramble about how i think this would work in my head. also labru bc this is my page

he sees flirting more as a game n marriage as something convenient than something he aspires to achieve w the one he loves

flirting n dating is more of a tool to make friends. he isn’t interested in getting serious so that usually turns them off, so he gets labeled as a ‘player’

he doesn’t return rin’s feelings even though he finds her physically attractive, because he genuinely values her friendship and the way he views romance is incompatible with hers and would just break her heart

ok labru territory turn away now sorry im pulling shit out of my ass atp

laios would fit right in with his preferences, because their relationship would be boiled down to “best friends who have sex” like, the easiest way for them to explain their thing

even if they go on dates, they’d be more interested in talking about a current topic or something they need to do, than super sappy stuff. they still do it! but kabru would kinda get uncomfortable with saying sappy stuff, it’s different from flirting. once laios recognizes this, he tells him he doesnt have to do that

it works out because while laios is kinda sentimental, he isn’t really a romantic person. when they were still figuring stuff out, laios just goes “x is mad at me because they think not doing y makes me a bad partner” but really, kabru doesn’t care whether he does it or not

if laios is saying this about a different partner, kabru would chastise him, but since it’s him, he’s totally fine with none of that happening

when it comes to them becoming spouses, they would rather forgo a real wedding and just do the paperwork to make it happen. marcille takes offense to this n thinks its an “affront to romance” esp since kabru wants to plan HER wedding, but neither of them think it’s a big deal

laios has a very hard time distinguishing his platonic feelings to his romantic feelings. he’s just very happy kabru that wouldn’t leave him or get bored of him. getting to kiss him and have sex with him is just a nice bonus.

kissing and cuddling is more of an emotional recharge or comfort etc for kabru than a romantic activity. his friends don’t get it at all.

even in my stupid baby universe its just “kabru wants to have a baby with me for the kingdom? he’s such a nice guy. he told me he wants utaya to live on too… thats so thoughtful.” their relationship is ‘blunt’ and ‘convenient’. the marriage was just to legitimize the heir and otherwise it was just a regular wednesday.

they love each other, but kabru expresses it to the extent that he could, and that works out for laios.

tl;dr basically someone who views romance as a performance than something ingrained w him x someone who struggles w romance. its totally fine if you dont see kabru on the aromantic spectrum, i don’t necessarily see it that way either! i just want to think about how it would work in my fanworks. what do u think. i should add more but im just going off at the top of my head LOL

[roseworth]

Any thoughts on Bart and Rose?

MANY

they make me so goddamn emotional. first of all bart being genuinely interested in being friends with her in a period of her life where she felt like no one really wanted her around.. like the titans kinda had to look after her and the older titans saw her as an unstable child that had to be taken care of (which is correct. but she didnt like that). but BART just looked at her and thought she was cool and wanted to hang out with her <3

and him saying "its not like that" is sooo sweet bc he really just wanted to be friends with her 😭 ge*ff made their relationship sorta romantic but its so sweet that he saw her and said "idk how i feel about her but i just know i want to hang out with her <3"

also my fav thing ever is that he sees her screaming at donna and crying and goes "this is the perfect time to make my move 😎" its so fucking funny because then the NEXT time he sees her he does the exact same thing. she watched her foster parents get murdered in front of her and bart goes "hey rose! its me your friend!" ily bart. but he just keeps running into her at the absolute lowest points in her life and trying to be friends. like baby shes about to kill herself this is not the time to hang out...

and then. GOD. HELLO. tt03 #12 makes me lose my fucking mind btw

sobbing because hes the ONLY PERSON that ever reached out to her during this era. hes the only person that recognized there was something wrong and tried to help her. he knew her!!! he thought she was lying to slade because he couldnt believe she would do that. GOD.

it drives me insane that so many people who shouldve done something to help her just. didnt. but i understand that sometimes the story has to happen and they couldnt do it. thats FINE its FINE

ooouuuuggaaagahguhhohuguhhoyhuguhhughggaghahhguhhuogouhghhggagghhguhuahgguhhohooouuauauhghggaagahhuhguhooouguhaggahghgh. im fine.

"rose was there. trying not to be like her dad. trying to be something else." ACK. OUCH. ok im fine.

then. titans of tomorrow 🤮

scraps of what could've been....... i assume geoff had an arc in mind where the titans take rose back (they were at least kinda hinting at it in some of the stories) and i so badly want to know what would've happened. i like the renegade arc but i wish we got a story with the titans taking her back :((( i dont trust jeff geohns with anything but... in my imagination it would've been a great story with bart coming to get her and convincing her to leave her dad

and im still refusing to acknowledge the rest of the titans of tomorrow arc because that story is so goddamn stupid and boring. but theyre married or something in it idk

BUT. BUT BUT BUT. heres where i get insane

because ouuughhhh they could be besties but they just. keep missing each other. right person wrong time but platonically because oughhhh they first met when rose's life was just completely destroyed. then they meet again when rose's life was destroyed AGAIN. then!!!!!!!! when rose meets the team its right after bart leaves and later dies

throwing up and crying bc after rose dies we get so much of rose's favorite trauma response of suppressing it and pretending she doesnt care then trying to fuck someone

someone that she considered a friend but hadnt been able to talk to in years dies and she says "LOL that funeral is so boring! haha bart meant nothing to me. im fine. stop talking about feelings and lets skinny dip right now. bart who" go off queen <3 she does not want to let herself feel any emotion so she represses it as hard as she can forever

(btw. i have complicated feelings about this bc as much as its in character for her to repress all her feelings with sexualizing herself,,,, ew. idk if this is johns or mckeever but its one of their faults and i know it because despite defining all the important aspects of her character theyre both so gross about her sometimes. men 👎 but thats a completely different rant)

ARRHCHHGGHFAHN.... THEN. titans of tomorrow (🤮) again

bart spent this entire story saying she was awful and trying to murder her (they divorced i guess. stupid ass storyline i dont care) shes still sad to lose him again. this is literally the only time she lets herself mourn him and its right after hes been trying to kill her. there is so much wrong with her <3 <3 <3

also as i was looking for that panel i saw this one and i think its so silly:

thats my girl!!! take no responsibility for anything ever and always find someone else to blame for your actions 💞 and bonus points for hating men !

anyways. then later the krul run happens and theyre both vaguely out of character but they FINALLY get to be friends again!!!!!! theyre buddies!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre hanging out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

besties bullying a 12 year old together <3

also one of my favs because i know its supposed to be "haha barts being creepy to her XD isnt that so funny" but inside my head this moment is just bart getting so excited about being on a team with rose again that he refuses to let her miss any of the action. he grabs her hand and gets her into her costume and doesnt think anything of it because hes just so happy that he gets to hang out with his buddy <3 that wasnt the writers intention. but it is to me

if youre willing to exaggerate. they r so besties here. they are taking every opportunity to hang out because they finally get to be buddies :') we still get to see bart just genuinely liking her and once again he just thinks shes cool and wants to hang out with her <3333 theyre so much fun

and i cant keep looking for screenshots because reading the end of this book bums me out since the new52 happened and they couldnt finish any of the arcs they had planned. lili worth i miss you every day

anyways yeah to answer your question. i love bart & rose 👍 the way hes one of the only people that just. likes her. hes the first person (ish) that reaches out to her after her mom died when she was at a very low point in her life and he continues to just enjoy her company and like her as a person which doesnt happen a lot <///3 there are so few people that like her and want to spend time with her and just genuinely think shes a good person but bart always does!!!!! barring t*tans *f t*morrow bart always likes her and always thinks highly of her when no ones else does 💞💞💞 theyre so sweet and i want them to interact again

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypastas you choose withhh a readerrr who always smiles(I’m half-asleep requesting this)

Jeff, Laughing Jack, and Ben w/ a reader who has a perma smile!

"imma get back on that grind " but this is the only request i have left in the inbox currently there is no grind to get on TToTT written as strictly platonic, didnt see much point in just having LJ be the only one romantic here shrugs

JEFF:

genuinely the only reason i chose jeff was of course, thanks to his carved smile. that said, for someone so keen on giving others the same smile, hes a little put off by your smile. theres a difference between an injury and something naturally uncanny, assuming you physically cannot stop smiling... though i could be grossly misinterpreting the ask, im taking this as spooky ooo permasmile against the readers will (shrugs)... not much thought here other than it vaguely unnerving the man and he perhaps makes some comments about it and you being creepy... but hey, considering hes an icon it might just be a compliment/hj

BEN:

similar to jeff i think he would tease you about it, more likely sending you dumbass images that remind him of you; bonus since i like to think ben is confined to electronics most of the time so hes literally. in your phone and spamming you with random images and saying its you. unlike jeff there isnt really any malice or meanness behind it, ben is just poking light fun at you... though the persistence might get annoying; but thats just ben being ben... hmmm... definitely tries to pretend that youre smiling because he said something really cool and funny and charming and- little arrogant bastard, you know?

LAUGHING JACK:

probably also pretends that youre smiling because he said something funny but thats less of him having an ego and jack actually thinking hes genuinely funny and youre happy to see him... which... actually ouch, dude with abandonment issues thinks youre happy to see him, so much so that youre always smiling around him... collapses and sobs.. probably tried to tug the corners of your mouth down to make a frown, or at least a straight face, but with no luck.. probably ends in him squishing your cheeks and generally messing with your face. not at all put off by your smile, though, since he smiles most of the time too albeit he doesnt have a permasmile... shrugs

[shojimezolovemail]

Hi! could i request nobara and maki headcanons x reader who is gojos sibling but doesnt act like it, like usually shy and collected

Thanks in advance :D

A/N: hiiii tysm for your request! sorry it took me a few days to get this up :( i wasn’t 100% sure if you wanted reader to be romantically involved with maki & nobara so i left it these more platonic! feel free to request agian if you’d prefer more romantic side of these :3

request status: open!

✰ maki ✰

- because she already knew gojo as a teacher, she was surprised to see how different you two were

- in fact, she thought it was some elaborate prank because you were so quiet and withdrawn

- she wasn’t necessarily rude to you but she was very…suspicious

- it took panda rationalizing with her for maki to really come around to you

- you didn’t make a big deal out of her reactions though, understanding the confusion and disbelief because you and gojo were very different

- maki made more of an effort to include you with the rest of the class though, even if she could tell you weren’t super into hangouts

- that only drew her in more to you though

- she liked the idea of someone more introverted to be around, especially as you weren’t overly loud like your brother

- the rare times mai would be on the school grounds, maki was on guard on your behalf even if you are perfectly capable of defending yourself (physically or otherwise)

- despite her temper at times, she did her best to be patient with you as you’d slowly come out of your shell

✰ nobara ✰

- nobara outright screamed at the reveal of you and gojo being related

- she’s looking between itadori and megumi to see if they’re as surprised as her

- megumi wasn’t bc he already knew but itadori looked like this —> ‘:0’

- she can’t help but ask you bunches of questions

- she’s also someone who can have a bit of a temper but she similarly will be patient with you (especially after essentially interrogating you)

- nobara does not really see you as an extension of your brother, more like an opportunity for new lessons (you’ve got to have some wisdom if you’re related to gojo yk)

- offers to hang out with you outside of trainings and missions, very excited when you finally agree to hang out with her!

- if you’re on the shy side where you don’t talk much or take a while to open up, no need to stop worrying because nobara can do a good amount of talking for the two of you

- when you get to know her better, you can see how much she really just wants a bond with you

[aphrodeiities]

𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢

follow for more content :)

THE MARS PERSON:

♇ when the mars and house person meet for the first time, the planet person makes the mars person feel some type of force immediately. like this hot energy you cannot avoid.

♇ the mars person would see the house person as someone who wants to reach popularity, or they might see the house person as an attention seeker.

♇ sometimes, romantic or platonic, the mars person would think that the house person doesnt like them.

♇ the mars person would also begin to display this macho/sexy energy around the house person, like they have something to prove.

♇ within this overlay, the planet person might influence the house person to be more confident.

♇ this is most likely going to be a connection where there's a lot of teasing, specifically from the mars person's side.

♇ when the mars person is around the house person, the mars person would feel obligated to put a more masculine attitude around them, an attitude that is dominating and providing. like a protector.

♇ mars person could be really opinionated about the house person.

♇ the mars person could even encourage or help the house person into becoming more self-assured.

♇ there'd definitely be a romantic or sexual potential the mars person would find in the house person.

♇ however, this could get into a situation where the mars person only sees the house person as an object, the mars person might just want the house person for their own benefits and even sex.

♇ lastly, the mars person could make the house person insecure about their body, it doesnt need to be verbally spoken, the house person could just compare their body to the mars person a lot.

THE HOUSE PERSON:

♇ the house person would likely feel sexual attraction from the mars person, the type to get sexually horny quickly when they're around the mars person.

♇ the house person might feel easily annoyed by the mars person.

♇ if the relationship is platonic, the house person might feel like the mars person is like a brother to them.

♇ the house person could do sporty things with the mars person, they might train together or go to the gym together.

♇ if the relationship between the house and mars person is rigid and hostile, the house person tends to get aggressive with the planet person.

♇ due to this the house person could have habits of getting into arguments with the mars person, this could come from a bond that isnt hostile as well, the two could get into a lot of playful arguments.

♇ the house person could perceive the mars person to be someone who is pretty and seductive as well.

♇ the house person could be intimidated by the mars person's "swagger", attitude and appearance.

♇ this overlay could make the house person influenced by the mars' person's decisions in life.

♇ house person would be someone who would be able to see through the mars' person's internal struggles.

♇ house person could consider the planet person as someone who is really dangerous.

♇ the two people could have differences with how they interact with life or what they do.

mars in the houses synastry masterlist

synastry masterlist

masterlist

♇

[snoopyliker]

thinking about aromanticism in fandom again who couldve guessed im gonna nonsensically ramble dont expect this to make sense

but it really is interesting to experience fandom with a completely different outlook to relationships and seeing how allos react to things

i think one of the more fascinating to watch in terms of fandom was pangili and being like hm. what allos interpret as romantic is interesting. cause for me i’ll see an interaction and im like aww thats so me and (insert friend) and then you’ll go into the fandom its all romantic shipping of the two based off that interaction and ur like hm. and also sidenote i was about to type “Not that i have a problem with the shipping” and like i hate that i have to clarify that all the damn time anytime i talk about this shit. cause u just knoowww someones gonna be like oh so u hate gay ships? u hate? kissing? u hate gays? like no man. its just interesting to witness fandom shipping culture from the standpoint of someone who isnt allo i’d say. so much shit gets said where youre just like thats silly. “that couldnt be platonic” “u dont say that to friends” urrr scope of relationships is so narrow. tell ur friend you’d die for them and adore every detail on their face, it cures all.

even MAN. outside of fandom this is something idk. so fascinating ITS FASCINATING TO SEE HOW ALLOS EXPERIENCE LIFE. i was watching a vlog with a friend today and she randomly went “yeah i get why people think these two are dating” talking about two cc’s in the vlog and i was like huh? cause i just had no clue where that came from and she went “i mean look at how hes joking with her. if i didnt know better i’d assume they were dating too” and to give context these r two cc’s who have been friends for like over a decade and are not dating. stated many times by the ccs themselves. and then i was like oh. the way he joked with her? and then i replayed the interaction and it was like. just how normal friends joke around with each other? and she was like see? and i was like man what the fuck are allos on. obviously thats a scenario with a guy and girl so i feel like naturally people r just more annoying about those friendships and thinking every relationship between men & women is romantic but i was so taken aback. i genuinely could not detect an ounce of anything romantic there…. because it wasnt, it wasnt romantic, theyre friends, it was friends joking around. am i crazy

i think i just dont understand romance or like More specifically amatonormative thinking. its all just so foreign and doesnt make sense in my head. wdymm you cant flirt with ur friends without it being romantic? what planet do u live on?

[massivetyrantduck]

it’s time

more thoughts about outsiders musical

not being a hater I loved the show

I don’t like the mischaracterization of dally I thought about it but it took away from one of the huge points in the book: dally being the greaser version of bob. Which is important to me bc not many seem to understand how if bob cannot be redeemed than neither can dally. They both had good moments but were not very good people. Dally did horrible things and people tend to forget it simply bc the actors who play him are all hot

in the same way getting rid of randy destroyed the comparison of randy and Johnny. Which got rid of pony and Randy’s conversations and the realization that they really couldn’t change much of anything no matter how hard they tried but Randy chose to try anyway because it was right

speaking of comparison pony and cherry are obviously each others counterparts. Shipping them to me is wrong btw. Maybe in ten years but ponyboy is barely 14 and she’s like 16-17 and ponyboy never showed interest in her other than understanding her bc they are both different. I disagree with cherryboy shippers bc come on a guy and a girl can have an intellectual conversation without romantic energy. This doesn’t really have to do with the show I just have opinions

I did appreciate Paul yes bring attention to how if the curtises had more money and if their parents hadn’t died Darry could have been someone big. Someone known. Someone the world considered important. And probably to the gang he represented the idea that a greaser could make it out there but then he didn’t and it crushed them a little so they tried to joke about ‘him going soc’ as a way to cope and it just alienated him even more since he now needed a full time job and to raise his brothers and to keep the house standing

I think they fed into the johnnyboy just a little too much. I love me a gay ship but come on, there’s something so beautiful about choosing family and that is what ponyboy and Johnny have. Can we shut up about the ship for one second and admire brothers who would go anywhere for each other, who would kill for each other or die for each other. Brothers who spoke without speaking. Platonic love is amazing and I loved their songs but I know the johnnyboy shippers are gonna be annoying af whenever I try to interact with the fandom. Like just because some people are queer doesn’t mean every character you like has to be queer. I know we as a community are underrepresented but if you want queer representation write a new story with queer characters, dont ruin the kinship of the curtises and Johnny cade

I loved throwing in the towel but I did not like how ponyboy sang in it too. The whole point is he is gone, and also the literal next song is the three brothers so it would have made more sense if he wasn’t singing TITT. Also if there was a missing harmony it could have been chefs kiss

the Julie Andrews bit? Fucking iconic

who tf is blondie soc girl and greaser girl. Sure ig for harmonies but they added nothing to the story and seriously to me seemed pointless. Their characters did not have to be written and served no purpose and come on, outsiders isn’t even about girls. The only girl who was close to a main character was cherry, and the only side girls who could have added to the story were sandy and Marcia, and they already underutilized Marcia. Like if you needed another girl moment just add in the two bit Marcia stuff but blondie and greaser girl had no use other than harmonies and dancing.

dally seemed way older than he should. He’s 17 he’s not put together he’s in and out of jail he’s not a responsible older brother to the boys he’s dangerous and unstable and both twobit and Darry are older than him also

the dally vs darry brother stuff was stupid

twobit was everything I wanted him to be loved it

ITS A HOPELESS WAR WERE FIGHTING AND WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT FOR EVEN IN THE END EVEN IF YOU WIN IT DOESNT CHANGE A THING

I didn’t really like little brother. At first I was like YES dally only cared about Johnny so yes the devotion is eating but then he’s like ‘do it for ponyboy and Johnny’ like what? ‘I am killing myself for the sake of ponyboy and Johnny’? That accomplishes nothing. That makes no sense. He killed himself bc the only good thing in his life was gone, not for pony and johnnys benefit?? The song is a banger but the lyrics are not it

stay gold is beautiful and the message is beautiful it fit the end of johnnys story so well and hold on to the good things and make peace with the bad things bc holding on to bad things is how people become resentful and vengeful and easily tempted to do bad things and that’s how bob and dally became bob and dally anyways stay gold might lift me out of my depression bc the message is so powerful and if I just find the beauty in this world in the sky and in the kids I work with and in my pets and everywhere else and if I act with grace and mercy and kindness rather than anger and justice and a mean spirit then I think I’ll do okay

I don’t blame the writers for not putting it in bc time exists and there’s only so much of it but I wish we’d seen more of ponyboys mental struggles or maybe even a short court scene showing them labeled innocent and it could have included ponyboy getting confused like in the book but I’m not mad bc it was getting to be a long musical

I did think the idea of ponyboy choosing to share johnnys message of staying gold by writing their story was very cutesy

awwwwww the way they ate dinner together and showed him improving by him eating a little bit like yes baby steps disordered eating is no joke and family dinners are amazing especially since the first few months of family dinners were probably sad and empty and tense and angry and then Johnny happened and they were sad and empty again until he started eating and the way darry didn’t make a big deal out of it and let him go slow :,)

[echoes-of-mia]

okay this is a long ramble and kinda personal, so bear with me, but i want to talk about being aspec in the joker out fandom bc I'm full of emotions and i need to share them somewhere

(just a short warning for internalised aphobia before i go on)

for context, i identify as aspec, more specifically asexual and some flavour of aromantic. I've known about the ace part for about 3-4 years now, the aro part is more recent and I'd say that before, lets say, a couple of months ago, I'd always seen that as something negative, something that makes me miserable, a deficit that will always be there and that others will never understand

and then i joined the (tumblr) joker out fandom around... june of last year, probably? and at first i thought "theres no way there are many queer people in this fandom, its essentially a boyband, and other aspec people? no way"

well, oh boy was i wrong

because not only is this fandom, like what, 90% queer? (i know someone made a poll at some point but i dont remember the percentages) but it's also around 50% aspec. and there's just this general positivity and support surrounding the a-spectrum in the fandom. like, some days ago there was an aphobic comment somewhere and before i even saw it my dash was FLOODED with people defending aspec people and i was just sitting in the kitchen reading through the posts and crying.

and yes, this is tumblr, i could have seen this coming and it's probably different on other platforms, but so many aspec people in one place, in one fandom, is still something that I've never experienced before.

so why are so many aspec people drawn to a slovenian indie/shagadelic rock band that, at first glance, is just 5 very good-looking probably-straight guys making music? that doesnt really make sense, right?

and then you see how much more they are. how they interact with each other. how comfortable they are in their sexualities, in their masculinity, in being themselves. you see a group of friends that love each other so unashamedly it's a bit unbearable to watch sometimes. you don't see them holding back because "thats not their partner!" or "that's reserved for romantic relationships!", you just see love. you see them supporting each other, being physically affectionate, looking out for each other, laughing together, even living together. vse kar vem could easily be a romantic song, but it's about their friendship!!

and what is all of that, if not THE dream of many aspec people? to be okay with not feeling sexual or romantic attraction because you have your group of friends that you love the same amount as allosexual/-romantic people love their partner(s) and to show it, and to know that they love you the same (and won't replace you with romantic partners) because they also show it, without thinking twice about it, without thinking about how others might interpret your relationship because it just doesn't matter as long as you love each other.

so of course aspec people see themselves in joker out. we see hope for ourselves in them, we are probably a little (or in my case very) jealous of their friendship, we want what they have or we just love to finally see real people live with the sort of affection we would like to have. (just to clarify, this is based mostly on what i feel, so other aspecs might feel completely different about this, idk why I'm trying to generalise this)

and this is about all five of them, but to take jan and nace as an obvious example: they love each other so much that the fans start to speculate, and they know about it. but instead of hiding their affection, they just keep on doing what they're doing. because they know how they feel for each other, and it's no one else's business, and they won't be stopping their love just because of "conspiracy theories". and to me it doesn't matter how they love each other (platonic, romantic, whatever), it matters that they do and that you can't help but notice it, because they show it in every interaction we see of them. the damon baker photoshoot just confirmed that, they look at each other and the amount of love makes me cry, it's so incredibly beautiful.

(just some other things i want to mention: them probably cooking mostly potatoes because nace is glutenfree. nace calming down bojan after his panic attack in summer. jan and bojan casually kissing on the lips during a concert. the jure and bojan getting married photoshoot. bojan touching kris's hair during concerts. kris being carried around during a photoshooting. jure and jan drawing a heart together. them gathering around jure's drumset during concerts. i could go on but for my sanity and yours i won't, there are so many moments that just make me soft)

I'd love to be more physically affectionate with my friends, but every time there's this voice in the back of my head saying what society has conditioned it to say, which is that that kind of affection is reserved for romantic relationships, and this voice stops me every time. i feel like bojan, jan, jure, kris and nace either don't have that voice (anymore?) or they've just managed to ignore it, they don't hold back and i admire that as much as i wish i could be like that.

and while i still have a long way to go until i can be affectionate with my friends without worrying about it or holding myself back, joker out have shown me that it's possible, because of them i finally have days on which i think that i can be aspec and actually happy about it. being aspec finally feels as freeing as it should feel and I'm just grateful

joker out has allowed so much queer joy into my life without intending to and although i don't think anyone i know irl will ever understand this, i hope that some of you can relate to this in some way.

I've said this a lot during the past two weeks but i can never say it enough: all the love to my fellow aspecs, and also to all the non-aspec people who support us <3

feel free to add to this if you want to; my dms are always open if you want to talk about it without posting about it, i love hearing other people's thoughts about stuff like this ^^

[lovingseventeen]

hello,, if i can, may i request jeonghan with reader who likes celebrating others' birthday but not theirs. just because they feel like theirs is not even worth it to be celebrated ; perhaps bcs of low self esteem? like, reader even hope that their birthday doesnt exist

( im sorry if i failed to understand your "do i take requests" on your navigation post, please feel free to decline this ask if anything. but if you do decline it, could you please perhaps randomly send 🩷 emoji so i could know whether my ask is accepted or not?? im sorry 😭 )

jeonghan when you don’t enjoy your own birthday

a/n: hi hi, so sorry this took a bit to come out. i'm not writing requests in chronological order just because some of them are easier to write for some reason ?? but ANYWAYs i hope you enjoy this even if it's a bit late <3

*reader and jeonghan are not explicitly in a relationship, i just thought this could be taken platonically or romantically

✧ was lowkey offended that you didn’t even tell him. he had no idea on the day of because you didn't do anything out of the ordinary, not even a little celebration on your story!

✧ he didn't know because you haven't know each other too long, but still! how could you not tell him!

✧ he also felt awful because you surprised him on his and he was waiting for his chance to do something nice for you

✧ you had casually asked him if it was okay to stop by the hybe building since you were *coincidentally* in the area

✧ when he met up with you on the first floor to go up together, you had greeted him with the brightest smile, a small cake in a box, and a small bouquet

✧ "i thought i'd meet you upstairs! you're ruining the surprise!" you exclaimed as his eyes glanced over everything that you were holding

✧ "y/n.. you didn't have to do all of this.." he said, but he couldn't stop smiling. all of this, for him? he thought

✧ "let me help you carry some of this" he offered, not knowing what else he could do to express his gratitude (this day becomes one of his favorite birthdays)

✧ he had only found out that he missed your birthday when you had to show your ID at a restaurant. he jokingly took it from the waiter to see if you were younger in your photo and if you looked different before

✧ it was all fun and games until he saw your birthday, surprise and disappointment filling him when he realized it was last week

✧ he looked at you sitting across from him as you sipped your drink, unaware of every emotion coursing through him

✧ "your birthday just passed?" he asked, turning to look at you, before looking back down at your ID

✧ "yeah" you replied, a blank look on your face further surprising him. you just reached over to get your card, even if he was still staring at it

✧ "y/n, why didn't you tell me?"

✧ "because it isn't a big deal?" you shrugged, placing your ID back in your wallet

✧ you wondered why he seemed so passionate, meanwhile he wondered how you were being so casual

✧ "of course it's a big deal, i'd want to celebrate you on your day" he looked at you sincerely, you could hear the slight whine in his voice but you could see how serious he was

✧ it was hard to hold eye contact with him. "i um, don't really like celebrating it?" you said softly

✧ "can i ask why?" he continued, his voice gentle as he didn't want to push your boundaries

✧ "i mean, i like celebrating other people, people i love, you know? but it feels weird when it's about me, i don't know.. i don't need to be treated any differently on that specific day"

✧ he nodded, accepting your words even though he felt like he was bubbling with more questions. he still wants to make it up to you in some way

✧ you could tell he was a little off for the rest of your meal, he was sort of stuck in his thoughts. you really didn't want him to do anything but he still felt bad

✧ by the time your bill comes, you plan on splitting it with him when he closes the checkbook with just his card and hands it to the waiter before you could object

✧ "h-hey! you don't have to do that, you know" you called out, "it passed already anyway so you have no excuse"

✧ "who said it was because of that?" he asks coyly, "the last album did well so i want to celebrate that, don't worry"

✧ you rolled your eyes but you couldn't fight him on this one because the waiter already took his card. "just don't do anything else, jeonghan. it's really okay i swear"

✧ "then i won't"

✧ "good" you replied, eyeing his intentions anyway

✧ "good" he copies

✧ the next week, a package comes to your house, a very nice oversized denim jacket, with a card saying: NOT a birthday present, i ordered it for myself but it's too small so you can have it - jeonghannie :)

✧ you shoot him a text telling him not to get you any presents in the future and he only replies with it's not a present because it isn't even wrapped

✧ the jacket is totally your style and not his, so you know he's lying but you also can't be too mad

✧ he never really brings up why you don't like your birthday again. he never tries to organize a gathering or even a planned celebration dinner with you. he doesn't want to ever put you on the spot

✧ he figures if you ever feel more comfortable you'll tell him

✧ in upcoming years, he has his little jeonghan way of being a little kinder to you when it's coming around

✧ on the day, he'll do something for you without admitting it's for your birthday. it's something relaxed and besides, all he wants to do is spend time with you

✧ maybe he "randomly" tells you that he's craving your favorite food and he ordered way too much so you have to help him finish it

✧ or maybe he just so happened to be invited to an idol's concert and he can take you because he has an extra ticket ("you've literally never interacted with them" "yes i did on mnet in 2015" he literally sends a prepared clip)

✧ he always has his little explanation as to exactly why something is not a birthday celebration/present

✧ maybe he won something on going seventeen by cheating and wants to give you the prize because he won't use it

✧ the "non-presents" always come spontaneously so you technically can't say that they have a correlation to the actual day

✧ "i accidentally ordered the wrong shoe size" - it's literally a shoe you mentioned 5 months ago

✧ "they let us keep the accessories we wore on stage" - no they don't

✧ "i'm an ambassador for that brand anyway so i always have free stuff from them" - he would have had to post a thank you to that brand on his story

✧ but in the end, he just wants you to know he cares for you and wants to thank you, regardless of what day of the year it is

[clown-prince-of-gay]

Happy Pride everyone~~

I drew me and my lovely boyfriend @king-of-vertigo, (I love you honeybee~), We are being gay and transing all your children. Watch out or you're next.

Anyways. Happy Pride to those who celebrate. (And especially happy pride slay queen girlypop month to those who don't) Under the cut I'll have each flag and an explanation of what it means to me~

Likes and reblogs appreciated!! Do not repost!

I would like to preface this with: I am not an expert in all of these identities (despite being a part of them) and my connection to them is hugely shaped by my own experience and interpretation of each label. My only hope with all this is to hopefully make someone feel less alone, (because my god i spent a long time finding some of these labels-)

Aceflux

Aceflux us defined as a person with a fluctuating feeing of sexual attraction to others, I sort of think of it like a dial being turned up and down based on the moment. (there are also romantic and aroace versions of the label I beleive, along with another variation of the flag with a purple/red gradient striping.)

In my own experience that results in differing kinds of days, some where I feel really strong attraction, others where I feel little to none. Sometimes it changes day to day, sometimes its the same for weeks, or it changes throughout the day based on context.

This label was one that took me. An entirely too long time to find. and this is one that feels. right. because I had very flexible and changing feelings and attraction, I knew I could place myself somewhere on the ace spectrum, but not exactly where because it wasn't consistent at all (wowee i wonder why that is because its not like thats the whole thing lmao) and I ended up cycling through so many aspec labels. This is one that I can feel comfortable in, and I'm hoping others resonate with it as well.

Queer

Queer is an umbrella term and very ambiguous identity that can essentially encompass anyone that identifies with it.

So- my sexuality is. incredibly nuanced and complicated when it comes to describing who I find myself romantically, aesthetically, or platonically attracted to (I know there are so many other ways to be attracted to someone, those are just the simplest for me to explain). For example: I can (when allowed by my silly demiromantic ass) be romantically attracted to men and masc (or even non aligned) presenting and identifying people, and I in fact, have a lovely boyfriend whom I love a lot! And as for femme aligned people its more interesting because I don't feel particularly romantically about them, but I can experience aesthetic, or platonic forms of attraction, and Queer is simply a label that I connect with that has the space to encompass all of that.

Demiromantic

Demiromantic is a label that essentially encompasses the idea that an individual doesn't feel romantic attraction to another unless they have an emotional or platonic bond with that person. (there is also an ace and an aroace version, which I think is super neat)

Demiromantic is a label that I personally connect with, be that because I'm naturally incredibly slow to make connections, or maybe connected to the fact that I'm very neurodivergent, (although thats a post for another day-) and feeling comfortable being and feeling romantic about someone is already incredibly rare, and I feel like I need a connection to someone personally until I can feel romantically (I say that like I control when I feel romantic. Its kinda. I dunno I can't control it. this label is just one I felt encompassed it. which is the point.)

Transgender

Transgender is an umbrella term in which someone doesnt connect or identify with the assigned gender given at birth. (I'm very sure I have made it no secret that I am transmasc. We love the transes here)

However. no matter how many labels I find to express and explain my gender being 'masculine' (with several different question marks. I'm a boy in the same way orange soda is the same as a regular orange. same sorta spirit. completely different executions.) above all. I am still trans. and I will always be trans. that's who I am <33

My gender is. an interesting topic. In the way that I have not yet found a label to describe it other than being transmasc. which I know as different to being a trans 'man' in the fact that I didnt transition to be a 'man', not binarily being a man. I bounce between being androgynous and being masculine, but in a way where labels like demigendered/demiboy or boyflux (other labels I've considered) don't seem to fit. because it is in a way where some days I feel more or less masculine to completely genderless. (If anyone can think of a label that fits that- I would love to hear it. I haven't even gotten into My pronoun search. maybe a seperate post on that later.)

[variousqueerthings]

smth I've been thinking about in terms of my reads of fraser in relation to the word "love"

so obviously im obsessed with "you must remember this" an episode all about falling in love with a title based on one of the most famous love stories in cinema (not only about that ofc) containing a scene where fraser -- who is more supporting in this episode as ray is the one actually In Love -- looks for cues on what love ought to feel like. How do you know you're in love? he asks

part of this is that the closest he's ever felt to another person is a woman he nearly died with who also probably definitely tried to manipulate him into not giving her up to the authorities, and he's wondering if he's in love with her, maybe fearing the idea of it considering she's anathema to everything he stands for + he feels like he fundamentally betrayed her by giving her up

that's another thought for another day, but does sort of connect to this in the sense that he's not really grown up with or experienced emotions that he would be sure can be classified as "being in love."

the things ive been thinking about the are... would fraser say he loved someone? as in, "i love you." whether it be platonic or romantic or just one of those things people say offhand...

and i really do struggle to See it. this is somewhat different to my most favourite headcanon that he's also loveless, this is just exploring the (potential lack of) vocabulary that he has to express his emotions with, and the access to understanding those emotions in the first place (there's an aside to this that i also don't think he'd be very able to vocalise what he does or doesn't like in kinky and/or sexual scenarios, but that's a whole other ball of twine to unravel)

on the one hand fraser is very very well-read and he's hinted at having watched at least a few classics (i like to imagine he's something of a classic film buff although he may also just have five or so movies he's watched on repeat), but the way he engages with language carries so many hallmarks of scripting i genuinely wonder what intentions they could've had other than him being neurodivergent (probably autistic). he's nigh-unfailingly polite in a way that's reminiscent of a storybook hero come to life more than "just" that politeness is a... polite thing to be, he stammers and loses words if there's interpersonal conflict (or the threat of such) he struggles with slang and sayings (i haven't gone too far into this, but i wonder if there's an analysis that looks at when he does know these and whether that could connect to the kinds of books he's read and people he grew up with, eg. his grandparents... but yeah, another day EDIT: I just rewatched the Pilot and he definitely knows "kettle of fish" but that could also be something from pilot!fraser that doesnt make it into the show-proper) and he can't easily adapt to various speech mannerisms, although by end s2 he does a very good ray impression, but that, again, is scripting based on close study.

He Basically Always Sounds A Bit Out Of Place (in fact his speech mannerisms uh... are very similar to mine. outside of the accent) because his way of engaging with the world is to learn about it from a book or a movie and to mimic it back

BUT LOVE. TO GO BACK TO LOVE!

what is love? many a book and film and essay and scientific analysis has been put out there in the world about the subject and i imagine based on some of his lines (about hamsters and the french and north by northwest i believe it was) that fraser has paid attention to many of them in an effort to figure it out and come up pretty empty

the idea that, fundamentally, love is kind of what you make of it is not a very useful conclusion to someone who needs to understand how things work in order to put them into practise -- fraser has a lot of book-knowledge and he has intuition based around things like survival and reading people in a particular kind of way, but he has no way of putting the vagueness of love-in-fiction-and-science into practice -- there's nothing concrete to point to, other than "this one time i almost died with this woman and i hear her voice still and hallucinate snow falling when i think about her and i feel guilty about what i did and now she's making me make promises that will allow her to use me however she wants and i want forgiveness and answers so badly that i'll do it"

it's not a word that i can imagine exists in his lexicon really, especially post-victoria, because the word itself cannot be connected easily to a precise feeling or action and its only point of reference is a woman who severely fucked with his head

but what does exist for him is said action. would he say "i love you"? i don't know. would he do more for ray than i think ray realises? yes absolutely. same, i think, goes for meg (who has her own "this woman reads to me as autistic" stuff going on). probably in later seasons same goes for the second ray -- things that go beyond his code of being to protect people as a general mandate and specify that these people are different to him

is that love? idk, you tell me, im as clueless as i read him as

but to say "i love you" i think he'd first have to feel like he understood it in some way, and that would be a difficult process. it would at the very least need coaxing. teaching. giving him a sense that he knows what exactly he's emotionally responding to

idk. some kinda fic called "what is love (baby dont hurt me)" would be fun

[mako-neexu]

[own interpretation/only for those who can forgive]

daddy kink jokes and getting "dad-zoned" aside, dantes does have a reasonable explanation for the behavior and stance. and maybe thats why i like writing it so much into my fanfics. i dont understand why people dislike this... (is it because of pseudo-incest??? age gap???) but i like it so ill make a post with my thoughts. cut below

because it does come back to the original novel, where when he was incarcerated, his betrothed was stolen away from him and married another bc of pressure, his father believed in him until the end but died without ever seeing his son again... and then there is the Abbe, whom was also his 'fate' and had treated him like a son. so i really get that Abbe Faria who was his light and guide during his time alive would be tremendous inspiration and hope to his heart that has tasted the bowels of despair. coupled with studying under the old man, there was no doubt he truly picked up a lot of things from the Abbe... but also as he is his own person, dantes became a demon of vengeance, one who is compassionate and understanding as well towards victims of circuimstance and highly advocates for determination and personal retribution when wronged.

now, towards fujimaru ritsuka - constantly told to us by the narrative to be the Avenger, Count of Monte Cristo's fate, star, light, accomplice, and "one and only" - his care for them is highly overprotective and selfless that it ultimately becomes selfish and "evil" because it is at the cost of someone else's blood spilled for their sake. he feels like an overprotective father because that is one of the roles he took upon himself... or rather, what you could consider as "canon" if you aren't including romantic implications. (after all, there is that significant age gap that leads many people to simply think that he is a "partner in crime" (platonic) / "older brother" or best friend / "dad" type if the romantic implication isn't preferred by the player....)

but because in prison tower, guda saved him by letting him be their "Abbe Faria" combined with how their soul is and just how guda thinks of him and treats him, the kind of love he has for Fujimaru Ritsuka, grown further overtime, is a kind of madness where you can call it "poisonous". both to him and guda... because if you also think about it, dantes is far more dangerous than any outer god trying to invade their body and destroy the world theyre living in considering dantes in the waste pit and the amount of things sakurai hinted...

one of the factors that also contribute to dantes "dad-zoning" (not really) guda is because guda's family was basically massacred so i think he wants to ease the pain a little bit by being the 'father' in the fake tokyo for them because he cant recreate people guda barely remembers/or isnt in the surface on the bleached earth considering everyone is inside chaldeas, but also being the vengeance demon FROM the book, he doesnt know how to act in any other way other than being the man that was thrown into prison, met the Abbe, and escaped alive. the novel is what the world remembers so those parts of himself that was the "Avenger" was engraved unto the world. in order to help guda, the only way he could do it was through an Avenger like him would. and the man who was saved that is Edmond Dantes's hope and fate- his inspiration is Abbe Faria, whom saw him as a son... and guided him like a light. because with that desire to guide as a light the same way dantes was saved, he put himself into the father role due to how strong his feelings are for fujimaru ritsuka.

even towards haydee, she was constantly referred to as a 'child' throughout the novel because of the age difference until haydee really pressed on and told dantes she loves him romantically. so even to haydee, he felt like a parental figure first even with the master-servant relationship (a time where he can finally have things in control and do what he must to protect those he loves) and to abbe faria, he felt like a friend and a son to the priest (a time where he needed guidance and knowledge) and combined with his personal experiences, he wants what is best for his accomplice.......so i think its really understandable why he would be so close to an "overprotective father" to guda.

its a tough kind of love, but also, so overwhelmingly sweet. where if you struggle and do your best, you will be greatly rewarded no matter what. but if there are factors beyond you that even you cant do, dantes, no matter how incomprehensible and unreasonable he may be, is there to be the fire that will pave your path clear. just as long as you yourself walk it and let him guide you through it. very much like a father...

[the-s1lly-corner]

NEVER FEAR I HAVE A REQUEST TO QUENCH YOUR THIRST!!!!

Could be Platonic or Romantic Either way works. New Follower(Reader) of the lamb tries to befriend the Bishops who is also a somewhat reckless Adventurer.

-Anon

Follower!Bishops x new follower!reckless!reader

LETS FUCKING GO!!!! only doing the 4 bishops here mweheheheheh might snag this and do a narinder version later eheheheh characters: leshy, heket, kallamar, shamura notes: reader is GN, unspecified creature CWs: canon typical violence/injuries

LESHY

sometimes he can get behind your nature, given he was once a chaos god- in a way you both kind of build up off of each other with you being so... unpredictable

though that doesnt mean hes going to stand by and knowingly let you get hurt, if he can help it... keeps your attention on him to make sure you dont wander off

youre both often paired together to go out on missions together due to him being unable to see- you work as his eyes, and he uses his smell in order to seek out where resources are

this really goes for all of the bishops but youre one of the first people to befriend him after he joins the lamb's cult- if it weren't for you falling over and slamming your face on the ground, he wouldn't have given you his time... hes glad he didnt ignore you, he gets to rope you into some of the pranks he pulls around the cult to sow mischief and chaos

HEKET

slow burn friendship with you likely being under the impression youre both already friends- it almost gives off dog and cat dynamic vibes

you first really got her attention when you threw yourself into danger to go retrieve something she mentioned having some low level desire for- of course, coming back with various cuts and bruises scattered across your body

you did it simply to be nice, not because you felt the obligation to do it out of fear- she doesnt have her power or influence anymore

picks you up and yanks you out of the way of any traps while out on missions, low grumbles are sent your way as she wordlessly scolds you

you tend to try to spread the word that shes a sweetheart to others but no one is buying it due to her past and general attitude around everyone else

KALLAMAR

if youve got the balls to back up your recklessness, you unofficially become his guard dog; standing up for him when some of the other cult members give him flack or when he says something that he probably shouldnt have- anxiety be damned, that man still has an ego that still peaks out every now and then

youre the one whos always charging head first into danger during missions while he trails behind you out of harms way...

frets over you once you both return to camp, hes dabbing a wash cloth to your wounds as he scolds you for being so careless with yourself

if you return from a solo mission or outing and return with something for him- say, some crystals from anchordeep, hes going to be torn between wanting to get onto you for putting yourself in danger and wanting to just melt into the ground- you'd gotten the crystals because he missed his old temple and home

clings to you when you both dont have any work assigned for the day

SHAMURA

youre reckless, and they tend to be forgetful- you both have the capacity to get hurt in some way during a mission

youre more than willing to take any hits for them, often times leading to them pulling you to the side to gather yourself together

you both keep an eye on each other out of habit- you fear they might wander or get left behind, and they have the same worry

admires your energy, though, even if its so so different from their own

they help you reel it in if you ever become too much or nearly throw yourself into something thats far above your skill level

naturally you have some scars from your adventures, sometimes they will ask about them if youre open to talking- however theyre more than understanding if theres some you dont want to talk about

[nin-deer]

Ch 143

i mean i think we all knew deep down the kiss was gonna happen based on the flow of the story but i think this chap reveals a lot about gorou and sarina

(uh warning this got a little out of hand so its pretty long lmao)

so.

i dont think anyone's completely in the wrong, but i definitely don't think they're in the right either. (not that i condone incest; its just that their motivations led them to this specific point. would the story have been fine without it? hell yeah. please i actually prefer it that way. but this is the direction the author decided to take it, so we have to take it as it is as a point of learning more about the character's motivations)

Let's first analyze sarina and gorou's relationship pre-reincarnation. I think I covered this in my last post where I rambled about onk, but gorou is doing a doctor thing where he "accepts" sarina's proposal just to make her happy. We learn in this new chapter that he basically catered to her every request, and that's what started that infatuation. we know from previous chapters that her bio family's shitty, so the only place she would get this love is from gorou. we also learn in this chapter that it's not actually a romantic love but a fanatic love, for lack of better terms. she sees him as her idol. does sarina even know what it feels to be romantically in love with someone? she spent her whole first life in a hospital, isolated from others her age. she spent her second life very curated and protected because of her mom and her future career; she couldn't really live a normal life. (we'll get back to this point later) all she knows about love is through her idols, so she's channeling it into (what she thinks is) romantic love for gorou.

gorou, on the other side of this, is an actual adult who had an actual life before all this, so he knows what a normal life is like. assuming sarina is one of his first patients, its obvious to see that he got attached, which is a very risky situation for scenarios like this. we see this attachment made her death worse, as he threw himself into following Ai to cope for her death. not gonna go too in depth about this here because, again, i made another post for this that i'll probably link at the end bc im referencing it more than i thought... continuing! he knows sarina doesnt have long left so he wants to do what he can for her, thus creating that "idol" persona sarina has for him.

we see in his regret in this new chap that he actually knows what he's doing and is aware of the consequences of his actions. ruby doesn't. she doesn't regret anything. as someone who reads a lot of isekai/reincarnation stories, its easy to joke that ruby and aqua are their old age + their new age, but that isn't necessarily true for ruby. sure, aqua is old and this could apply to him. but ruby? she didn't make it past 18 before she died. she's like,,, 13 times 2. double 13. she never fully developed in her first life, and she's developing in this current life. it's like a continue from where she left off. aqua actually was an adult, so he has all the knowledge and wisdom of an adult. why does this matter? shift your attention back to the concept of love for a bit. aqua knows what she's doing is bad and is trying to stop her, but the knowledge that she's sarina is making him automatically succumb to her wishes. a part of his brain, because of the trauma, still sees ruby as the sickly sarina he was caring for.

ruby is naïve. she doesnt know what love is. all the love she's ever been exposed to is whatever she saw online: idols. i dont even think she fully knows what the concept of family is. aqua is her brother? nope. aqua is the doctor she proposed to and now she has a chance to follow through like all the shows she's seen. she's closer than ever to him, so why give up the chance? even as ruby, she wasn't exposed to a lot of normalcy because of idol culture. she isn't able to learn about the difference between platonic love and fanatic love. we even see this with ai, who she sees more as an idol than her mom. the joy is in her idol being her mom, someone who's supposed to care for her. it's like shes living a fantasy made just for her. because aqua was so obsessed w revenge, he didn't have the chance to teach her anything, and it's not like he needed to learn bc he already knows. ruby doesn't.

aqua, as the one who understands these nuances, should have sat her down and explained things, but he didn't because of the trauma of sarina. ruby is ignorant and is treating things like a tv drama, now that her dreams as sarina can finally become true. aqua doesn't realize how serious ruby is about this because in his mind this is just a child playing house. ruby is like,,,, imagine you die and you wake up actually being sold to one direction. or whatever happens to you in your fav self-insert scenario/fanfic. idk a better analogy lmao but its like finally being able to play out your fantasies irl. she doesn't realize the real world impacts of her actions because, frankly, she doesn't care. she gets to live out her life as she wants. aqua was shocked after the first kiss with ruby because he realized then she was being serious, but he didn't speak out about it because, again, the trauma™. (we see him again uncomfy with the whole situation in the next page, but his lack of objection could be bc it's a scene in the documentary and he finds it more important to get revenge rn) ruby kissed him then because she purposefully created the mood like that so it would fit in the story she was writing in her mind.

so what does this mean? because of their shared pasts, aqua and ruby are put in this situation where ruby can do what she wants and aqua goes along with it. even if he knows its morally wrong, he can't bring himself to break ruby's immersion in all of this. BUT. big but. aqua shouldn't act like this. they're both capable of living out their lives as normal (barring the revenge and the whole idol stuff). he doesn't need to act like this anymore; ruby's not terminally ill. he's not a doctor. what he should have done was firmly deny her stuff he knows is wrong because then he can educate her about the reason why. as much as their personalities are inspired by their past lives, sarina and gorou are dead. they need to move on and live a aqua and ruby. (Harsh, I know, but because of this scenes like *gestures vaguely to the newest two chapters* happens. if aqua stood his ground and taught ruby about familial love and that what she's feeling is probably not romantic, i think this could have been avoided. but alas, we need it for the ~drama~)

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sorry that went on way longer than i thought lmao. i think i covered everything i wanted to say but im too lazy to read back so fingers crossed

if you made it this far and are curious about the other post i mentioned in the beginning, its here. i just think its some context to my thought process but not necessary to understand this post