#cosmic haiku and love haiku

[worldbuildingwanderlust]

Split like an atom

I release a thousand suns

Pouring out my love

[sparkleylittlepoo]

the haiku bot makes me so happy bc oh my god who could have known that the caption of the picture of the pretty white dress had the exact amount of syllables to make a haiku how lovely is it that people just say things and they just end up becoming poetry bc at the end of the day we are poetry.

[beberexhaiku]

5 posts!

[orionsangel86]

Sandtober Day 1 - Your Art for the prompt "Dream"

I absolutely ADORE all the gorgeous Day 1 Sandtober art you guys shared yesterday! Thank you so much to everyone who participated in day 1. Below are all the artworks I could find that were tagged #Sandtober2023

If you missed out on day 1 but still want to participate, please see the Sandtober 2023 prompt list here.

Please do take a look through and reblog/share these artists amazing work for the first days prompt:

Dream of the Endless and Hob Gadling by @teejaystumbles

2. Dream of the Endless/Lord Morpheus by @zorawitch

3. Dream of the Endless/Lord Morpheus by @koresephone66

4. "If dreams disappear..." by @klarahimmeltheendless

5. Daniel Hall the new Dream by @thirrith

6. Dream of the Endless and a Haiku by @writing-for-life

7. Dream of the Endless by @missingrache

8. Dream of the Endless by @harukaspiegel

9. Hypnos Dream of the Endless by @the-cloudy-dreamer

10. Lord Morpheus tries on a corset by @parasocialite

11. Hypnos Dream of the Endless by @mathomhouse-e

12. Roman Dream of the Endless by @quillingwords

13. Dream of the Endless by @merinsedai

14. Dream of the Endless by @milune-vox

15. Lord Morpheus by @the-cloudy-dreamer

16. Calligraphy by @chaosclimber

17. Dream of the Endless by @cosmic--static

18. Rose Walker Dreams of Lucien and Morpheus by @crystal46uwu

19. Dream of the Endless by @timesorceror

20. Dream's escape by @mostly-morpheus-and-myths

21. Dream of the Endless by @murphyoftheendless

Bonus! @brunettebeanz shared their beautiful song "Dream's Lullaby" for the day 1 prompt and if you haven't listened to it already please do so now because it is hauntingly beautiful and so fitting for Lord Morpheus. You can find the link here.

It was also really lovely to see plenty of other artists choose to draw Dream of the Endless for the official Inktober prompt list challenge. I am only not showcasing their art here because they are doing the official challenge and not the specific Sandtober2023 art challenge.

If you still want to submit art for the day 1 prompt you absolutely can! Just tag it #Sandtober2023 and tag me too if you want to to make sure I don't miss you!

Day two's prompt is "Nightmare" and I have already seen some gorgeous art for today. Please don't forget to use the Sandtober2023 tag and to tag me too so I don't miss it!

[writing-for-life]

It’s the different format again (original reblog chain will also be updated)…

Today’s motto was tricky. I had intended to write about the Batman Dark Nights: Metal Crossover, but the result was honestly so 💩 that I said: Nope. So I decided that crossover can mean a lot of things, like the crossover of time. If I fits, I sits 😂

26. Crossover

Exiles. Soft places

Where time and space are fluid

And even dreams blur.

Days 21-25 in reverse

Catch up days 16-20

Catch up days 11-15

Catch up days 6-10

Catch up days 1-5

Inktober prompts modified by @orionsangel86 for #sandtober2023

[the-haiku-bot]

love whenever a

doctor who episode fills

me with cosmic dread

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

love whenever a doctor who episode fills me with cosmic dread

[savvyisland]

Break Up With Bad Habits, Not Ben & Jerry's: Your Post-Breakup Glow Up Guide

Let's face it, breakups suck. They leave you feeling like a deflated pool floatie, tossed aside on a deserted emotional beach. But hey, here's the silver lining most people miss: breakups are also a fantastic opportunity to kick some bad habits to the curb!  Think of it as a cosmic do-over button. Your ex is gone, and with them goes the excuse to, well, everything.

Now, before you think I'm some heartless robot suggesting you Marie Kondo your feelings (though, purging your ex's toothbrush is definitely a good start!), hear me out.  Breakups often leave a void we try to fill with unhealthy coping mechanisms.  Maybe it's a nightly pint of ice cream that morphs into a Ben & Jerry's graveyard in your freezer (picture a sad tombstone reading "Here Lies Phish Food, April 12th -  May 3rd"). Maybe it's mindlessly scrolling through social media, stalking your ex's vaguely sad vacation photos (we've all been there).

These habits might offer a temporary numbing of the pain, but they're ultimately like that clingy ex who never leaves – they hold you back from moving on and becoming the best version of yourself.  So, how do we break up with these bad habits and create a healthier, happier post-breakup reality?

Step 1: Identify the Emotional Vampires

The first step is to identify the bad habits that are sucking the life out of you. Are you suddenly BFFs with the vending machine?  Do reality TV marathons seem like a productive use of your newfound free time? Grab a pen and paper (or your phone's note-taking app, because millennials) and write down anything that makes you feel worse after indulging in it.

Step 2: The "Because..." Breakup Speech

Next, channel your inner Beyonce and write a breakup speech to these habits.  Except, instead of flawless vocals, use the power of "because..."  For example, "I'm breaking up with nightly ice cream binges because they make me feel sluggish and prevent me from fitting into those cute new jeans I bought to spite you-know-who."

Step 3:  Out with the Old, In with the You

Now it's time to replace those bad habits with activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Get Moving: Exercise is a natural mood booster. Take a dance class, go for a hike, or dust off that yoga mat gathering dust in the corner (because let's be honest, most of us have one).

Reconnect with Loved Ones: Breakups can make you feel isolated. Lean on your friends and family for support. Plan movie nights, go for walks, or simply have a good old-fashioned vent session.

Explore New Hobbies: Ever wanted to learn how to play the ukulele? Now's your chance! Take a cooking class, try painting, or join a book club.

Practice Self-Care: Breakups are a marathon, not a sprint. Make time for activities that make you feel good. Take a relaxing bath, get a massage, or indulge in a spa day (because sometimes retail therapy is the best therapy).

Step 4: Allow Yourself to Feel

Remember, breakups are a grieving process. Don't bottle up your emotions. Cry, scream into a pillow, write an angry haiku about your ex – whatever it takes to process your feelings.

Step 5: Celebrate the Wins (Big and Small)

Change takes time, so celebrate every victory, no matter how small.  Resisted the urge to call your ex? High five yourself! Managed to go a week without ice cream?  Treat yourself to a mani-pedi (because self-care comes in many forms).

The Road to a Happier You

Breaking up with bad habits after a breakup takes work, but trust me, it's worth it.  You'll emerge from this stronger, healthier, and ready to write the next chapter of your life – a chapter filled with self-love, resilience, and maybe even a new love interest who appreciates you for the awesome person you are.

Remember, you are not defined by your past relationship or your bad habits.

[theam-cjsw]

The AM: May 20, 2024

Celebrating 10 years of The AM with three strolls through the last decade, spotlighting songs from AMs past and the track that gave the show its title.

A warm thanks to everyone who's tuned in over the years to help start the week on the right note, and to CJSW for letting me do this for so long. And, enjoy 10 years of AM hits for a holiday Monday morning.

Listen on CJSW.com, or use the streams after the break.

Hour One:

2014: I Threw a Rock Into the Sea Cosmo Sheldrake, featuring J.D. Eidse • Old Tunes EP

2015: For Marmish Floating Points • Elaenia

2016: Arthropoda Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith • EARS

2017: The Day I Lost You Stilz, featuring Meteor • Holding Onto Yesterday

2018: Bardo GoGo Penguin • A Humdrum Star

2019: Their Faces Streaked with Light and Filled with Pity - Sin Fang x Memryloss Remix Mary Lattimore • Hundreds of Days Remixes

2020: Growing Flowers By Candlelight Loving • If I Am Only My Thoughts

2021: Teletype Repair Proxima Psychoacoustics • Ataroth

2022: Light Memoir Charbonneau / Amato • Synth Works Vol​.​2

2023: Fountain, Growth Khotin, featuring Tess Roby • Release Spirit

Hour Two:

2014: Outweigh the Pillared Masts Galaxius Mons, featuring Anna Elbon and YouYourself&I • GMO

2015: That Battle is Over Jenny Hval • Apocalypse, girl

2016: Monday Morning, Somewhere Central Ultimate Painting • Dusk

2017: La La La Hoops • Tapes #1-3

2018: What Are You Gonna Do With Yourself Astral Swans • Strange Prison

2019: Up and Up Peel Dream Magazine • Up and Up EP

2020: Spirit Refinement Exploder Inventions • Continuous Portrait

2021: All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace Haiku Salut • The Hill, The Light, The Ghost

2022: It Couldn't Happen Again Zacht Automaat • P is for Progress

2023: Cosmic Bliss Misha Panfilov • In Focus

Hour Three:

2014: Kong The Notwist • Close to the Glass

2015: 6000 Dias (Ou Mantra Dos 20 Anos) Boogarins • Manual

2016: Les Pyramides Chocolat • Rencontrer Looloo

2017: Unionize Cool Ghouls • Gord's Horse

2018: Orange Peel Kikagaku Moyo • Masana Temples

2019: Ymosodwyr Anweledig Carwyn Ellis & Rio 18 • Joia!

2020: Brokenhead Zoon • Bleached Wavves

2021: V: Movement Bell Orchestre • House Music

2022: Dream Another Makaya McCraven • In These Times

2023: Ritual of Gods Whatitdo Archive Group • Palace Of A Thousand Sounds

Bonus: The AM Reverie Sound Revue • Reverie Sound Revue EP (Thanks for the title...)

[cupidengaged]

Missions Log. OP, 3225651

As an esteemed agent operating under the enigmatic code name AMOURSHADOW within the clandestine Cupid Secret Service, Cecilion Rogers has embarked on a series of compelling and heartwarming missions. Each assignment is a delicate tapestry of love and intrigue, intricately woven to unite hearts and souls destined to find one another. Here are a few extraordinary missions that showcase Cecilion's expertise and artistry in orchestrating affairs of the heart

1. Operation: Serendipitous Symphony

Location: Paris, France

Objective: Uniting two star-crossed musicians with a shared passion for the symphony.

Details: In the heart of the City of Love, Cecilion orchestrated a serendipitous encounter between a talented violinist and a gifted pianist. With a masterful display of artistry, he set the stage for their paths to intertwine during a romantic performance at an intimate venue. As the musicians' melodies harmonized, so did their hearts, leading to a timeless love story that echoed through the streets of Paris.

2. Operation: Boundless Horizons

Location: New York City, USA

Objective: Fusing the destinies of two wanderlust souls with a passion for exploration and adventure.

Details: In the bustling streets of New York, Cecilion facilitated an encounter between a spirited travel blogger and a daring photographer. Drawing upon his keen observation skills, he orchestrated a chance meeting amidst the bustling city lights, igniting a spark that kindled an inseparable journey of love and adventure. Together, they set out to explore the world, bound by a love that transcended borders.

3. Operation: Whispers of Kyoto

Location: Kyoto, Japan

Objective: Fostering a connection between two artists with a shared appreciation for traditional Japanese arts.

Details: Amidst the enchanting beauty of Kyoto's traditional tea houses and serene gardens, Cecilion orchestrated a delicate encounter between a skillful calligrapher and a talented ceramicist. Their mutual love for Japanese art forms kindled a bond of creativity and passion that flourished like the cherry blossoms in spring. Through their artistic endeavors, they found solace in each other's hearts, painting a love story that resonated like an ancient haiku.

4. Operation: Symphony of the Stars

Location: Seoul, South Korea

Objective: Uniting two souls through their shared love for astronomy and the stars.

Details: In the celestial beauty of Seoul's starlit skies, Cecilion orchestrated a cosmic connection between an aspiring astronomer and an amateur astrophotographer. Underneath the canvas of twinkling stars, they embarked on an astronomical journey of love and discovery, where each constellation mirrored the harmony of their hearts. Their love story transcended the boundaries of space and time, making the stars seem a little brighter that night.

5. Operation: The Enchanted Elopement

Location: Santorini, Greece

Objective: Uniting a pair of star-crossed lovers seeking an intimate and secret elopement.

Details: Amidst the picturesque beauty of Santorini's cobalt blue waters and pristine white-washed buildings, Cecilion orchestrated an enchanting elopement for a pair of lovers determined to seal their fate in secrecy. With his unparalleled adaptability and meticulous planning, he ensured their intimate ceremony remained hidden from the world, allowing the couple's love to blossom in an ethereal sanctuary of affection.

6. Operation: Love's Rhapsody in Bandung

Location: Bandung, Indonesia

Objective: Harmonizing the hearts of two musicians brought together by their shared love for music.

Details: In the artistic city of Bandung, Cecilion orchestrated a melodious encounter between a gifted guitarist and a talented vocalist. Amidst the vibrant music scene and creative atmosphere, their hearts danced to the rhythm of a love song, forging a bond as harmonious as their music.

7. Operation: Surabayan Serenade

Location: Surabaya, Indonesia

Objective: Uniting two passionate dancers in a graceful duet of love.

Details: In the cultural heart of Surabaya, Cecilion orchestrated a serenade of love between a captivating ballerina and a mesmerizing tango dancer. Amidst the beauty of traditional dance and the elegance of movement, they twirled into each other's arms, their hearts performing an exquisite choreography of affection.

8. Operation: Bali's Eternal Love

Location: Bali, Indonesia

Objective: Kindling the love between two free-spirited souls amidst the enchanting beauty of Bali.

Details: In the island paradise of Bali, Cecilion orchestrated an encounter between a carefree surfer and an adventurous travel writer. Embraced by the island's natural wonders and the magic of the ocean, they set forth on a journey of love that mirrored the eternal rhythm of the waves.

Each mission bears the indelible mark of Cecilion's artistry, revealing the mysteries and beauty of love's intricacies. Through his exceptional linguistic talents, empathic sensitivity, and unwavering commitment, Cecilion continues to unravel the threads of affection that unite hearts in the enigmatic realm of Cupid Secret Service.

Please note: The details of Cecilion's missions are classified and remain hidden within the veil of Cupid Secret Service, known only to those entrusted with its enigmatic operations.

[ipessimist1]

Haiku

To the bride and groom; may your love be eternal as the moon itself.

11:26 PM 20/11/22

[trueseedhealingarts]

Stardust in my steps,

I am heavenly on earth.

They've praised my essence.

-ZERO

[worldbuildingwanderlust]

Entangled spirits

Dance in transcendental bliss

Form one Divine soul

[mirandamoonmagick]

Speak your truth, right now.

Don’t let people shut you down.

You know the answers.

[raplinesmoon]

The Library of Our Love {KNJ x GN!Reader} - Oneshot

“My library is an archive of longing.” - Susan Sontag

“Did you figure out that I’m a book after I met you? Or did you turn my page?”

- 방탄 소년단, Outro: Her

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Gender-Neutral Reader

Genres: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort… I’m sorry in advance for hurting u

AUs: college students!AU

Word Count: ~4.6k

Themes: strangers-bestfriends-(maybe)lovers, unrequited love, pining, the slowest of slow burns (to the point where the fire almost goes out)

Warnings: some mentions of blood and violence, vandalism, strong language, negative self-image and feelings of depression/sadness, excessive consumption of gummy bears (don’t do it pls)

Ratings: sfw, pg13

Summary: 

From this day forth, the rules set out by the users of the study table should be:

This table shall only be populated by one Kim Namjoon and one ___, all others must ask for permission before using the premises.

Albert L. Lehringer’s word is the supreme law of the land.

The library is for learning only, not for falling in love.

Oops.

Please picture this Namjoon.

Shoutouts: Thank you to @papillonsgf for being my #1 supporter and baji and designing the most gorgeous banner known to humankind 💞And Eva @dinamitae for being the sweetest last minute beta reader I could’ve asked for 😊 Also, I have to give a big shoutout to all the writers on Tumblr: I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for inspiring me to put my feelings down on paper, and for touching my heart with your beautiful stories. 

A/N: This is my first time writing any kind of fiction whatsoever, so please be kind 🙈This fic is deeply personal to me because all of the events portrayed actually happened in my life (with creative liberties). As a result, please do not plagiarize bc that would make me big sad 🥺 I hope you enjoy reading it!! And yes, every vignette is titled with the Dewey Decimal number of the section where you can find that topic (bc I am a nerd)!

Crossposted to AO3 here.

Glossary:

Albert L. Lehringer: the dude who wrote my college biochem textbook

Kal-guksu: Korean knife-cut noodle soup dish

시조 (sijo) (pronounced SHEE-jo): a form of Korean poetry similar in format to the haiku. Originally intended as songs that can represent romantic, metaphysical, or spiritual themes.

Theodicy: the vindication of divine goodness and providence in the view of the existence of evil

Incunabulum: Latin for “place of birth”, or “beginning”. Also one of the earliest forms of a printed book.

523.66: Cosmic Impact

Lee? Lehman?

You flit through your mind trying to remember the author of the supplemental textbook Dr. Kang had recommended to you. The 6th floor of the library is cold; a steady draft seeps in from the slightly open windows. Shrouded in obscurity, all the science books are clustered together into one dark corner among tall, looming shelves.

Lehringer!

Aha, there it was! You eye your target and move towards the shelf at the end of the aisle, eyes focused. Like a predator honed in on its prey, you lose all awareness of your surroundings. Pressing your books to your chest, you pounce towards it when suddenly a large shadow obscures your path. Ramming into a hard, firm chest, you fall back into space, books tumbling everywhere. A sturdy, muscular arm reaches out to grab you.

“Oh gosh! I’m so sorry, are you alright? I wasn’t looking where I was going, I tend to be super clumsy, no wonder my friends call me the God of Destruction.”

The tall stranger beams down at you, two tiny corresponding craters forming in his cheeks as he stares fondly. 

“Again, I’m super sorry. Were you also looking for Dr. Lehringer’s Principles of Biochemistry text?” 

He reaches it easily, lifting it off the shelf and passing it into your waiting hands. You open it to peruse when you are again interrupted by his dulcet timbre. 

“I’m Namjoon, by the way. I figure the least I could do is tell you my name after almost knocking you over.”

“Kim Namjoon? You wouldn’t happen to sit at the very front of Dr. Kang’s fundamentals class, would you?”

His smile widens, turning his eyes into crescent moons, as he timidly rubs the back of his neck with his right hand. 

“Now how would you happen to know that?”

“I’m ____, I sit in the middle row. You’re very tall, you know. I can’t see the board half the time.”

A blush colors his cheeks as a sheepish grin falls over his face. He stares down at a speck on the floor. He looks like a scolded puppy, utterly bewildered and completely adorable.

“I- , I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I can move seats maybe, or try and slouch a little bit, even though I know that’s bad for my posture and I’m too young to be having back pain, oh gosh, I can’t believe this, I always thought I felt someone staring at the back of my head - “

“Hey, it’s alright, I was just joking. Thanks for grabbing the book for me, maybe I’ll see you in class sometime?”

“____. Yes, of course, I’ll see you around!” 

He waves and strides down the aisle, disappearing out of sight. A steady gust of wind enters through the window, and you hear something flutter. Whether it’s the pages of your open book  or the drumming of your heartbeat in your chest, you can’t begin to tell. 

177.42: Ethics of friendship

Staring down the endless rows of wooden tables, each illuminated by an antique brass lamp, you spot a lone figure sitting at the farthest one, glasses perched on his nose and his entire being buried in the Principles textbook as though his life depends on it.

Suddenly, you feel restless. Dr. Kang’s midterm examination was looming over the next day, and you knew Namjoon would already be on top of preparing considering you had noticed him sitting at the same table every day since your encounter mere weeks ago. 

I’m just going to sit down and ask him if I can study there, you mused. Maybe we can bounce ideas off of each other? A study partner, that’s all. A fellow lover of learning, a devotee of discovery, a paramour of perusal.

So then why did your heart lurch like you were free-falling from 10,000 feet above?

You can do this, just walk up to him and ask if you can use the table.

“Namjoon?” His head turns at the sound of your voice, and a heart-stopping smile illuminates his face. “Do you mind if I sit here and try to study for Dr. Kang’s course too? We can ask each other questions if we’re stuck.”

“Did you read my mind? I was just wishing I had a friend to talk things over with. Sadly, my roommate, Hoseok, is a dance major, so he doesn’t quite understand how to predict dihedral angles based on chemical shift data.”

“Make yourself comfortable,” he beams, pushing aside the pile of books, multicolored pens, and gummy bears. “We have a long night ahead of us.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You feel a warm hand press on your shoulder and blearily gaze up to find Namjoon’s concerned visage gazing at you from across the table. 

“Hey there, are you alright? It’s almost 1am, the library’s gonna close soon.”

You blink, trying to remember the events of the past eight hours. Both of you made a brilliant team, working through the problems for the exam expertly and efficiently. Along the way, you fell deep into conversations about not only the equilibrium governing every reaction in the book but also the thin and delicate strings of matter that made up your lives thus far.

Namjoon waits patiently for you to find your bearings, as you hastily shove books and papers into your backpack. He slides the bag of gummy bears in your direction. 

“Take one, for good luck tomorrow. Or maybe three. Or you don’t have to take any, they’re probably bad for you and I don’t want you to have a toothache before the exam. Just let me walk home with you?”

The two of you stumble out into the chilly fall air, following the stark lamplight lighting up the way back to the on-campus apartments. 

At the point where your paths diverge, Namjoon spins on his heel to take in your retreating figure.

“HEY ___! See you after Kang’s exam tomorrow? Same time, same place?”

“See you then!”, you grin, whirling quickly so he can’t see the devastatingly wide grin that consumes your entire face. 

135.30: interlude_dream, Reality

The dim rays of the afternoon sun. 

A checkered blanket under the shadow of an oak tree. 

The crinkle of a plastic bag full of copious amounts of Haribo gummy bears. 

A tall stack of books that had tumbled over onto the grass.

His dimpled smile and eyes that turned into tiny moons --

You’re jolted awake from your reverie by the droning of hushed voices and furtive conversations in the library basement. Blearily rubbing at your eyes and massaging your temples, you fight the stiffness in your joints that is urging you to sit up from your resting position on the couch which occupies the far corner of the main room. All too suddenly, your tired mind sharpens, catching wind of a conversation that is happening just a few feet away. 

“Hyung, I know it happened so suddenly, and we only met just a few months ago, but I’m starting to feel something. We’ve been spending more and more time together and I feel like I’m falling harder and harder.”

You freeze. That voice. You would recognize the melodic timbre of the man who you’ve been studying alongside in the library for months now from across campus. 

A high-pitched laugh echoes in response, squeaking like the windshield wipers on a car in the middle of a downpour.

“Yah, Namjoon-ah, don’t tell me you’re in love? You, who’s always been focused on his studies. They must be something special.”

Your exhausted body is on the brink of keeling over as your pulse quickens. Your stomach ties itself into a knot, and heat rushes to your cheeks. Who are they talking about?

“Hyuuuuung, it’s not like that yet. We’re just good friends for now.” 

You redden in response to the term “friends for now”, as you hear the bashful lilt to Namjoon’s voice. Could it be possible? You dare to dream, just this once.

“So, what do you plan to do about it? This is your last  year here, you know that right?” 

“I’ll think of something, Hyung. I don’t know if I can last so long without saying how I really feel. But what if they don’t feel the same way?”

I do, you silently scream as you desire to break down the walls of their intimate conversation. I do feel the same way, I have for a while now.

The loud scraping of chairs and closing of books force you to halt your inner monologue, signaling that it’s time to head to your next class. You’re left dazed and confused, yet with a blissful smile on your face, as you see Namjoon and Seokjin exit the library, their backs turned to you.

You feel buoyant as you stand, bouncing on the balls of your feet. Exiting the library, the world seems effervescent and hazy with a new rose-colored filter, mirroring the pink of your gums as you smile brightly, ready to take on the day ahead with renewed fervor. 

641.86: Just desserts

Whoever thought there should be a specific day devoted to love was the silliest person alive, in your opinion. How could they reduce a force as wonderful and as powerful, as full of tenderness and adoration, to a mere day full of hearts and flowers? Love was beyond that, it was something that could take a person and erode all their harsh lines, their straight angles, and make them soft and pliable.

Ever since you had overheard his conversation in the library basement, you and Namjoon had only become closer, spending your days and nights at the same table, laughing at each others’ jokes, crying under the weight of exhaustion, and opening up to each other about anything and everything.

You had never thought you could feel this way, never thought that someone would find you riveting enough to share more than a five-minute conversation with, let alone spend hours of their life in your presence. Your friends were well aware of your feelings towards Namjoon, urging you to explore the possibility of something more. They knew all too well how guarded you kept your heart in terms of romance, preferring instead to bask under the gentle glow of friendship than to ever submit yourself to the blinding passion of opening up your heart and soul entirely to another.

You trekked nervously to the main study room, protecting the small box in your hands with your entire being. Valentine’s Day may have been silly and trite, but you weren’t going to miss the perfect excuse to offer Namjoon a gift of appreciation under the guise of fondness that everyone seemed to be partaking in today. 

He’s waiting for you with a smile, as always. You look down, unable to hide the blush that colors your face from your temples to your forehead. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day ____! Too bad we’re spending it in the library, instead of out on dates with someone, right?”

“I guess so, although I don’t really mind wasting away in the library if it’s with someone like you.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen and his smile grows even wider.

“Let’s call it a date, then. We can stop halfway through and grab something to eat from the new place that opened right by West Campus. I heard they make a pretty mean kal-guksu,” he winks.

This is too much, you think. Too much all at once, and yet not enough. Your silly gift seems like an outlandish display of affection now, compared to his completely chill offer of grabbing a meal together. 

Reel it in, your brain tells you. Play it off. He probably likes chill, prefers it that way. Why would he go out of his way with you, when you see each other every day? When he’s never done it before?

No! You fight your subconscious, remembering that fateful conversation in the basement that changed everything between the two of you. He said he wants something more, that he’s falling for me.

“Namjoon, I made some cupcakes and cookies for y-, for us to share. Maybe we can wallow in our loneliness -” you blink, faltering as you press your lips together. You weakly offer up the box, ripping off the “for you, my favorite study partner” tag quietly underneath the table. 

Why couldn’t you just be honest? You were friends, why did everything have to become so complicated?

Namjoon doesn’t seem to catch onto your face falling, doesn’t seem to hear the sound of your heart dropping in your chest. His dimples become etched into his face as he grins from ear-to-ear.

“Every day, I thank the supreme power known as Albert L. Lehringer himself for letting me bump into you on the 6th floor. Where else could I have found such a kind, considerate, beautiful study partner who bakes the best red velvet cupcakes on campus?”

You gape, jaw becoming slack. Beautiful, he said. He’d never called you beautiful before. Your heart swells on the inside.

“Yah, you and that smart mouth of yours, Namjoon. Just keep quiet and eat your cupcake, we have work to do,” you answer back sarcastically, your own grin mirroring his.

Maybe your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you after all.

165.19: Fallacies, or errors in judgment

Spring. The season of rebirth and renewal. Flowers blossomed and birds chirped as the campus came alive again, leading you and Namjoon to spend more and more of your time outdoors. 

Currently, the two of you were curled up on a checkered blanket underneath the big oak tree on campus, your biochem classes having finally eased their loads, leaving you to ponder on your philosophy term paper and Namjoon to pore over his Korean literature homework. 

“Have you ever heard of 시조 (sijo), ____? It’s meant to be songs written as poetry, mimicking the current tune of whatever your mind is feeling.”

“Really Namjoon? That sounds fascinating. And what would be the current tune you have in your head?”

Namjoon bends his head downwards, unable to make eye contact.

“You know the pre-grad formal?” he mutters, his normally deep voice becoming no more than a whisper.

“Yeah, what about it?”, you question, as butterflies suddenly convene in your chest and the din of your heartbeat becomes louder.

“I- um, well I-, I- was thinking of asking Seolhee. You know Ahn Seolhee, that girl that sits at the table on the other end of the library? She’s in one of my chem electives, and I joined the Chemistry as Art club because she’s president and we’ve been talking more and more this semester. I don’t really know what I feel towards her, but I feel like it could be something. I guess asking her to the formal is the only way to figure it out, right?” he’s rambling now, redness staining his cheeks as he talks about her. Seolhee.

Your heart stops, and the roaring in your ears becomes louder.

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. 

Of course, Namjoon had a life outside your library. Of course, he had friends that weren’t you. Of course, he would like pretty Seolhee, leader of a sorority on campus, president of so many clubs, and recently accepted to the university’s Ph.D. program in Biochemistry that would be starting in the fall. She was bubbly and beautiful, friendly to everyone she met, wearing her heart on her sleeve and with nothing short of a smile on her face all the time.

Not like you, who had recently been accepted to a post-baccalaureate program because you’d failed to get into medical school this time around, while Namjoon was waiting on the results of his many interviews. 

Not like you who didn’t have any popularity or accomplishments to boast about because you’d been slowly exhausting yourself day and night in the library, poring over labs and problem sets, having to work twice as hard to prove you were just as brilliant. 

Not like you, who kept their heart under lock and key because how could you complain when all you’d ever loved and wanted was the man who spent every day in the wooden chair across from you?

“___?” Namjoon interrupts the whirlwind of thoughts that are running through your mind. “Are you listening? I was just saying, Jin-hyung’s date from his MBA program fell through, you guys should go together, we’d all have fun!”

You nod, blinking back tears. 

Spring. The season where new life blooms, yet storms brew, washing away everything in their wake.

214.06: Theodicy

One month. It’d been one month since the revelation which had caused your daydreams to come crashing down. 

Two weeks. It’d been two weeks since you had gone to the formal, hiding your pain behind laughter as you were forced to look at Namjoon and Seolhee gazing at each other, touching each other, dancing with each other, drunk on champagne and in their affection. Jin had found you back then, curled up on the floor in the marble-walled bathroom of the fancy manor hosting the event. He’d taken you straight home, Namjoon oblivious to your disappearance.

You hadn’t been back to the library since. Instead, you claimed a table in the busy student center, among the smell of brewing coffee, raucous conversation, and shrill pop music. Your hands feel clammy. Your head is pounding.

You long for the warm glow of antique brass lamps, the crinkle of a packet of gummy bears being opened, and the melodious laugh of a man with dimples deeper than the craters on the moon.

Focus, you chastised yourself. This term paper won’t write itself.

Theodicy. The vindication of divine goodness and providence given the existence of evil. Why bad things happen to good people. Why suffering can be justified.

You feel sick to your stomach, jolting as the tears flooded your eyes, abandoning your books and coffee behind you.

The door of the bathroom stall slams behind you as you sink to the floor.

616.025: Medical emergencies

Thanking the reference librarian for their help in finding the materials you needed for your final papers, you make your descent down the back staircase of the library. It’s usually abandoned around sunset, most people preferring to use the main entrance closer to the dorms. You shiver at the chill the night air brings, wrapping your jacket tighter around yourself.

You see red and rainbow shards of the once beautiful, but now broken, stained glass alcove before you see him.

Namjoon is slumped against the wall, eyes shut tight and chest heaving. His knuckles have been ripped apart and stained with blood dripping onto the floor as his sobs echo.

You rush to his side.

“Namjoon, Namjoon, please look at me. What happened?”

Namjoon doesn’t open his eyes to see that it’s you, instead retreating further into himself, like a small child, his sobs growing into wails.

“Kim Namjoon! It’s me, _____. Please, please, I need to know if you’re alright. We need to get you to a bathroom or something,” you’re sobbing now too, heart shattering at seeing him so bruised and broken. You sling his arm around your shoulder and drag him into the staff bathroom close to the alcove.

You toil to distract yourself from the pain both of you are feeling. You open your backpack and take out the pack of tissues and the box of band-aids you always kept on hand for when the now defeated man in front of you had a bout of clumsiness and knocked into the edge of a table or cut himself on one of Kang’s 100-page problem sets. You take his hands in yours, washing them gently with soap and water. 

Slowly, Namjoon opens his eyes to stare at you, fat tears dripping down his face.

“Fuck, ____. It just all fucking fell apart, I don’t even know what happened. The-, the-, interviews, and I thought I was doing so well…” he trails off.

Your mind is only half listening, as your temples begin to throb.

Rejection, you hear.

“And fucking Seolhee, she told me she was just fucking around, trying to use me to catch the attention of some other guy…”

Rejection, you hear, and your vision turns cloudy and red, like the water mixed with blood that has smeared in the sink. 

“And then I was looking for you everywhere ___. I needed you, but you weren’t there. You’ve always been there.”

You can’t take this. 

“Stop, Namjoon. Stop it right now. What do you mean you were looking for me? All you had to do was find me. I would’ve dropped everything for you. Yes, rejection fucking hurts, but you can’t do shit like this. How is punching a fucking window the right reaction huh? Why didn’t you trust me, why didn’t you tell me?” your voice wavers as it begins to rise in octaves, finally spilling out all the pain and resentment that you’ve been feeling since that spring day froze over into a meadow of frost. 

“What the hell would you know about rejection ___?”, Namjoon clenches his jaw, a vein in his neck bulging as he throws out the accusation.

“You can’t mean that Namjoon, you seriously can’t fucking mean that.” Your tears are falling onto the floor now too, mixing with the bloodstains. 

For a moment, you think you see a look of understanding flash across Namjoon’s face. For a moment, you think he might’ve been able to access your memories of the past months, ones that now mirror his own.

However, the look is now gone, and you’re left wondering if your mind is playing tricks on you again. Instead, the look is replaced by hurt and despair that color Namjoon’s face.

“I’m sorry ___. I’m so fucking sorry,” the door swings as he runs out of the bathroom, leaving you to wonder how his shredded knuckles that are still embedded with glass slashed open the wounds that had begun to heal in your heart.

124.73: Teleology, or the end of things

“Mom? Dad? I’ll be back in a little bit, I just need to say one last goodbye to some people I saw at the library,” you lie.

The library is closed today. Everyone is out on the campus green rejoicing, celebrating the hard work of the past 4 years. Still, your heart would feel incomplete without bidding adieu to the place that had been your second home over the past year, the place that still held the remnants of your love for Namjoon.

The door to the main study room is open. Strange. It creaks as you push it further open, taking in the rows of identical rectangular tables, the wooden chairs that made your back ache, and the brass lamps that lit up the darkest of your nights. 

There’s someone here. The lonely figure of a tall, lithe man in a crisp white dress shirt with a black tie, navy gown draped over it. He’s slumped over the table that was once shared between the two of you. 

He looks up as he hears your footsteps approaching. 

“Hey,” he says, mustering a weak smile. “We made it.”

“Congratulations, Namjoon”, you whisper quietly, unable to tell if he can hear you. 

You make a gesture to leave when he catches you by surprise one last time. 

“___? Can I ask one last favor of you?” he extends his hand to you, and you shy into yourself. 

“Please?”, Namjoon’s eyes shrink into the tiny crescent moons you’ve come to know and love.

You take his hand in yours as he lifts you both to stand on top of your table. 

“Ready? Hats off in 1-,2-,3!”, both of you throw your hats up to the ceiling, Namjoon’s narrowly missing plonking onto his head as it comes back down. Your face lights up in a smile.

“Hey ____? Thank you, for everything. I’m gonna miss you, and this place, so damn much. I’m sorry we couldn’t enjoy the last few weeks here together.”

“It’s okay Namjoon, I forgive you. I’ll miss you too. Let’s stay in touch, yeah?”

He grins. Those damn dimples. “Yeah.”

You turn on your heel, feeling renewed and restored, leaving him behind as the doors to the library of your love close behind you for the final time.

Epilogue: six years later...

115.17: Time’s arrow

“___! You made it, I’m so glad to see you!” Seokjin’s broad shoulders envelop you into a warm hug. You shoot Hoseok, Namjoon’s former roommate, a warm smile from across the room. It’s been too long.

“Drinks should be in the cooler over there, feel free to grab some food, and enjoy the party! I’ll be around at some point after I’m done playing host to ask you all about how your final year is going, so don’t you dare try to get out of it!” his thinly veiled threat is punctuated by the sounds of his windshield wiper laughter.

Some things never change.

You settle into a corner with a drink in hand, being swept into a conversation with some of Seokjin’s friends. 

“___? Is that you?” 

That voice. You are unable to turn, afraid to look him in the eye.

It’s been six years since you’ve seen Namjoon. Six years since you walked out of the library, all the young impulses and the misunderstandings that had distressed your relationship behind you. In that time, you’ve learned to heal others’ hearts as well as your own. You’re no longer as hot-blooded and easily affected by things. You’ve become stronger, and more capable of nurturing your own soul instead of looking to another for fulfillment.

The two of you tried to make good on your promise to keep in touch, but life got in the way. The texts stopped after a year, turning into sporadic well-wishes and wall posts on Facebook. But now he’s here, in the flesh. 

“Hi Namjoon,” you spin, facing him. “Long time no see.” You’re surprised at the genuine smile that lights up your face in response to seeing him.

“Same to you. How’s the final year of med school going? I saw your post on Facebook that you’d matched into a program for cardiothoracic surgery. Congratulations, I’m so proud of you,” Namjoon looks upon you with the same fond smile he had the moment he bumped into you on that cold, dark floor of the library so long ago.

“Thanks, Namjoon.  How have you been? Seokjin told me you’d recently moved back to the city.”

“Remember 시조 (sijo), ___? The poetry that is supposed to represent -”

“Your current tune,” you finish his sentence for him.

“You remembered,” he says breathlessly. “I’ve been writing recently, not anything professional at all, but just songs and poems. I’m compiling a portfolio to go back to school and get my MFA in Literature and Poetry.”

Tears spring into your eyes. “Namjoon, that’s great, I’m proud of you too.”

“___!” Hoseok ushers you over, “Come join us for a round of beer pong!”

“Namjoon, it was nice seeing you again. Maybe we’ll see each other around sometime.”

“Wait! ___!”, he touches your arm lightly as you turn back around. 

A blush colors his cheeks as a sheepish grin falls over his face. He stares down at a speck on the floor.

“There’s a new library that just opened on the corner of 5th and Oak St. I was wondering if you’d like to go check it out sometime?”

For the first time in many years, Namjoon doesn’t make your breath catch in your throat and your pulse begin to race, but instead fills your heart with a deep sense of fondness and contentment. Maybe this library will no longer be an archive of your longings, but an incunabulum of a fresh start.

“I’d like that a lot.”

A/N pt. 2:  It’s finished!! I wanted to leave Namjoon and the reader's relationship at the end open to interpretation. I think this fic was more about their feelings than the events that unfolded. I’m not sure I’ll write another story ever, but I’m very proud of this one. Any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway.

With all my love, 

Isi 💜

Taglist: @papillonsgf @jinpanman @cutechim @btsarmy9593 @sunshinekims​ @dinamitae​

[left-handlibrary]

Tales of Freedom by Ben Okri (2009)

I really have no massively wise words to say about this book except to say that it was a bit nuts. Ultimately, these are stories that discuss - as the title suggests - freedom, entrapment and oppression in a (sometimes very) abstract way.

I really enjoyed some of the shorter stories here, but the first and longest one (Cosmic Destiny) was utterly bizarre and I’m not sure I liked it. I would love to discuss it if anyone else has read it 😂 Okri even coins his own literary form here, ‘stoku’ a poetic blend of story and haiku. It could have been really interesting but I think, for me, The Cosmic Destiny became too messy to be artful.

[castielscarma]

First line

@envydeanwrites Thank you for the tag love <3 Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors! (All Destiel) 1.  Dean exhales softly as the sack is removed from his head. The light emanating from the naked lightbulb is harsh and he blinks several times as his eyes adjust. Something hard is invading his mouth, making it impossible to speak. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 2.  You thought if you handed over your body he’d do something interesting.   But it was the same old. Something interesting

3.  The path to love may have been anything but straight but now that Dean finally has Castiel he's not letting him go. They do mundane things together, like Castiel making him coffee in the mornings, going through lore books in the library, or playing Scrabble.Dean has read somewhere that love is transformative, divine, or some bullshit like that, and he's always rolled his eyes at that. Grace

4.  Dean has been a hunter too fucking long to ignore his instincts.  And even though the monster hunting is way less intense these days, he still listens to his gut. And his gut is telling him something is up. Mother Superior 5.  Dean remembered the last time, and while he'd been proud of his achievement, the timing really hadn't been great. He'd not been in the right headspace – how could he – with Chuck the cosmic dickbag breathing down their necks but this time was different.He glanced at Cas. Everything was different. Fourth Birthday

6,  Castiel had been in many less than desirable situations, some of them could best be described as embarrassing, especially for a warrior of the Lord but this had to take the prize. Although much had happened since Castiel yanked the righteous man out of Hell – meeting Dean Winchester had altered the trajectory of his life completely – this was a first. Castiel was knee-deep into shit. Soil 7.  Dean finds the box three weeks after moving in. He hasn't been avoiding the attic, it's just that he didn't have any reason to be up there after storing away the last two boxes that contained his art supplies. A box is a box is unorthodox 8. I love you. Dean presses rewind. I love you. Six months 9.  Not all angels were in the fiery depths of Hell trying to save the Righteous Man. Some had to stay back on Earth and keep their eyes on the humans. Salathiel was one of those, living a quiet suburban life in a small town in Mississippi. The Infinite Eyes Perceive 10.  The windmill stands tall Meadow (a haiku) 11.  Dean knows it's the right spot as soon as he sees it. The windmill is old, had stood there for so long that nature has reclaimed it. Long vines make their way upwards, climbing as if trying to reach the stars. The Meadow 12.  There's something about the air, Dean thinks. He inhales deeply and can almost taste it; the salt settles on his lips and invites him to take another breath, encouraging him to try and quench something that seems insatiable. Lull 13.  Dean opens the church doors slowly, not wanting to disturb anyone that might still be praying. Outside, night shrouds the city but the many lit candles inside the church cast a warm and welcoming glow, trying hard to banish the darkness. Dean knows from experience though that darkness is usually found inside. Kenosis 14. Dean crosses his arms. “I don't know.” Castiel looks at Dean, a smile playing on his lips and that could've been innocent but Dean doesn't miss the glint in his eyes. Prompts: Adventure 15.  The first time it happens, Dean isn't even aware that it is happening. It's not his fault that Cas wears his shirt sleeves rolled up; it's a fucking invitation for Dean to trail his fingers up Cas' strong arms. On the way down, he uses his nails and rakes marks on his skin; red welts that'll vanish as soon as they appear but the sounds Cas make are ones of pure lust. The Destiel Disasters: Interruptions or when Sam sees too much 16.  It's quiet. Dean eases into the black leather armchair that's backed up in one corner of the library. He takes a pull on his beer and puts it down on the small table next to him.  The Bunker 17. “Do you want me?” Cas' voice is a growl but still, he's restraining himself. He touches Dean, always, but Dean wants more. He'd laugh at Cas' question if he wasn't busy being destroyed with want. Veneration 18. Cas entered the kitchen on heavy legs. He was still not used to how much sleep he needed but he couldn't deny that sleeping had its charm. Waking up next to Dean, tightening his hold around him and nuzzling close to his neck, inhaling that scent that was all him, that alone was worth all the hours of sleep. Their Love Was Real 19. Dean took Cas' hand and grinned before kissing his knuckles. “It's Sunday. You know what that means?” Johnson 20. Dean has been on edge all day. Scratch that, he'd been on edge for days. First, they'd been all the way to Asheville to dust not one, not two, but three damn vampire nests. The Lesson I notice I start a lot of fics with Dean lol, besides that I write long sentences but try and wary the length I think. My fav opening lines are from Kenosis I think, it really sets the mood for the entire fic.  I’m tagging just a bunch of people I <3 Feel free to join. @deans-jiggly-pudding @raidens-realm @anastiel @helianthus21 @kingdumbass @ltleflrt @nickelkeep @lotrspnfangirl @wanderingcas @thegertie