#cosigners

[bitchesgetriches]

I... I can't believe this is actually a thing that's happening. Babies, PLEASE don't cosign for someone on social media! Even if it's someone you trust, it can go tits-up real fast. We talk about it in this episode of the podcast:

Season 1, Episode 3: "My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?" 

DO NOT VOLUNTEER TO BE A CO-SIGNER OR GUARANTOR FOR SOMEONE ON TUMBLR.

I just saw a 'mutual aid' post going around where instead of asking for donations, the person was asking someone to be a "guarantor" - also known as a "co-signer" - for their rent.

DO NOT DO THIS.

I am all for mutual aid. I think credit scores are a scam designed to fuck poor people. I get it. I do. BUT. Being a guarantor/co-signer for someone basically means that if they don't pay what they owe, for whatever reason, their landlord, bank, creditors, etc. can and will come after you for the full amount.

It seems like such an easy way to help someone. You don't need to pay any money, just lend them your name and good reputation so they can get permission to borrow and spend their own money. It feels like you're getting one over on the shitty capitalist system and using your privilege of good credit/income to help someone else.

But it is a HUGE risk. Do not do this. All it does is give that shitty system more ways to get their hooks into you and create tons of problems for you down the line.

You can really fuck yourself over in the long run by getting tangled up in a financial situation like this. Even co-signing for someone in your life who you trust, like a sibling or a parent, can be really risky. No matter how much you trust someone not to purposefully leave you holding the bag, now you're on the hook if they end up with financial problems neither of you anticipated.

Do not co-sign for another person's loan, car, rent, etc. unless you are able and prepared to pay the full amount or subject yourself to the mercy of whatever that person gets themselves into.

ESPECIALLY do not do this for someone on the internet, where scams are rife. Do not share your personal information with people online and NEVER allow someone else to use your personal information for their finances.

Here is an article with more information.

[anotherpapercut]

I don't really think it's fair to dismiss the idea that that guy might have been framed for killing the CEO as like an unfounded conspiracy theory when NYPD has a proven history of planting/fabricating evidence on people. in 2011 there was a massive investigation of the NYPD and hundreds of cases against people were dismissed after a former police officer testified that they literally have a name for planting evidence on people: flaking. you cannot be out here acting like considering the possibility that cops who do this shit under normal circumstances might possibly also do it when they're under intense global pressure and scrutiny is the same as republicans thinking democrats run a secret pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza restaurant

[elaneducationloans]

Discover the importance of co-signers in study abroad loans, their impact on loan approval and how they help secure better terms for your education financing.

[ducktracy]

the Donald vs Daffy wars are a psyop to distract you from what really matters: the joy that comes with having two funny cartoon ducks to love and cherish and celebrate and play with. Real Duckheads Know.

[dmsr-art]

@pbscene hey can we kiss. with tongue

[odinsblog]

[chirpsythismorning]

Mike front and center lying his ass off and taking any and all contributions (even the bad ones) is crazy work

[redibinch]

[stormblessed95]

You know I will say, that if they aren't together or are bffs with no boundaries, they still have a more beautiful love than anyone I have ever seen. The respect they show each other, the care, attention and devotion is truly remarkable for such young men. I think that is why I am so drawn to them, because I have never seen anything like it. And it isn't forced either, for example when JM asks JK if he is happy in Jeju, and when JK says yes, and JM says that is all that matters, he means it. I truly think it makes him happy to see JK happy, but that is not a one-way street - JK loves to make JM smile, and laugh, to ensure he is safe, he cares about him, does things for him like picking up his shoes, carrying his bags and cooking for him. It is so balanced and so natural to them. It’s stunning to see it for such a long period of time in the show, and the consistency of it over three 'seasons', and three places. I know we have seen their bond before over years, it is why most of us are here, because we see something in it, but seeing it for a prolonged period has been even more eye opening to me, it really is on display. It is absolutely the main character of the show. Its both the big and small things - like JK cooking in ep5 and JM staying around him in the kitchen, even napping and JK leaning over the counter to check on him. It is JK giving JM the medicine in the cabin, building the stone tower and praying over it for good health. It is JK driving in Japan because JM is hesitant. It is JM looking so fondly at JK when he is doing his bottle tricks. JK ordering for them in the USA. Both choosing activities, restaurants and snacks they know the other would like. It is JM setting up their snacks after showering in ep6. JM setting the temp in the bedroom in ep7 and instead of changing it, JK goes out to the living area as not to disturb JM. It is JK falling when he was doing well snowboarding, so he didn't crash into JM, JM seeing that he fell and stopping himself. It is with absolutely no hesitation how they both said they were not worried about enlisting together, and that they were so sure that they would not fight, I don’t know many friends who would be sure of this. I am honestly in awe of them, and the balance they have between the fun and the serious, the nurture they give to their relationship, and the care and love they show each other. Long may it last, because finding someone like that, your person, is absolutely worth fighting for.

.

[marimeeko]

If this is not the very description of Katsuki and Izukus relationship....

[arisatohamuko]

You and your brother should've been aborted

LOL???????????????????

[mxtxfanatic]

Y’all are reading a book where a mob showed up to burn some impoverished exiles’ village to the ground, smash an old granny’s head in, and dump everyone’s bodies into a blood pool so their spirits would never know peace, but you are handwringing about how the characters involved “had no choice” and “who can say what’s right or wrong?” and “is it such a crime to say that everyone really loves each other deep down? 🥺” Do y’all be hearing yourselves???

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Tumblr, We Need To Talk

So multiple times now, posts that I have written, completely free of any sense of anger at all, have been interpreted by folks here - not just as angry - but as malicious. It has now happened enough times that we need to address the biases at hand here.

I am three things that are relevant for this discussion: I am Jewish. I am Italian. And I am Scottish.

These are three cultures that feature "loudness" as a positive trait. What do I mean by that?

I mean arguing, debate, discussion at my home growing up was louder than a kindergarten field trip to the zoo. Louder than a metal concert's mosh pit. Louder than the conure room at a bird shelter.

I am a loud, boisterous person. That's just who I am. With those three cultural backgrounds, I can't even help it. On more than one occasion, someone has interpreted my tendency for the dramatic, my eagerness, and my enthusiasm as being "too much". In fact, it is quite a point of trauma for me, the number of times that specific rejection has occurred.

But to me, I wasn't doing anything wrong! I was acting as my family acted, as people from my culture acted, as those around me in other situations acted. In Judaism, arguing is even seen as emotion-free, because interpersonal debate is how we learn and grow. Even the most stringent and austere Jewish groups will feature a loudly arguing table of scholars in the Beit Midrash. Italian dinners are filled with singing and shouting for joy. Being Scottish means yelling at everything and then yelling at it again. This was, and is, my life. It was loud. It was emotional. It was excitement.

Online, tone indicators are even worse, with many people easily being misunderstood in a given situation. Hell, there are probably those of you reading this now who are reading a higher level of emotion and anger into my words than is actually there. That added complication has now lead to multiple occurrences of this misunderstanding.

This isn't limited to the cultures I come from, of course! The anger and excitement and enthusiasm found in Black culture has been weaponized against it for as long as racism has existed (y'all can ask @ladyraekingmaker more about that). In fact, lower class Black Women in the United States were often perceived negatively for being loud and having their private lives carried out in public (because they did not have access to private spaces). Same for different cultural norms in other places, from Persia/Iran to parts of Latin America and more.

Indeed, loudness, anger, and tone are heavily tied to how different cultures are perceived. Calmness, stoicism, and a lack of "emotionalness" is a highlight of WASPy cultures, famously - "white anglo-saxon protestant" if you're not familiar. Being more "low key" and less expressive was considered high class, being less so was low class. And that still continues today - from the snide comments of tumblr anon's and ex friends, to the literal policing of impoverished communites of color for their celebrations and community gatherings.

The perception of emotion and passion as a "bad" thing is 100% tied to white supremacy. Full stop. In fact, policing people for being "angry" at certain things was a great way to shut down discussion of many important issues, that deserved anger - things like racism, sexism, and homophobia. Anger is a good, important, and necessary emotion - and being emotional in general is a way many people use to emphasize their own points and indicate how much they care about a subject. It's necessary, and it's good. Anger, emotion, excitement, these are good things.

It is better for someone to be angry and up front with you, allowing you to learn and grow as a person, than to bullshit you and mollycoddle you into a state of complacency.

So, that means that for many people reading this, you probably never really thought of how your reaction to loud, or emotional, or dramatic, or excitable people was related to upholding social norms. That's okay! It's not a big deal! We are all born with blind spots and things we are ignorant of that we have to understand and tackle. Growing up is something we never stop doing.

But I'm not magically going to stop being excitable, loud, and emotional. And I'm not going to magically stop being myself. While in person, my tone and facial expressions would help others to at least see that I am not mad but excited; here, you're going to have to take me at my word.

If I am angry, you will know it. It will be extremely, painfully obvious. I might even explicitly say it. But the fact remains is that, every time I have gotten (frankly, condescending) anons in my inbox telling me to "calm down", I haven't been angry at all. And that is a cultural bias a lot of you have to examine in yourselves. By policing how people - not just me - on how they talk and express themselves, you are upholding white supremacy. And you need to stop.

I am too much for some people. That's okay! If I am, you are free to go. No one has to follow me. But I am not going to minimize myself just to make some people comfortable, especially when I am doing nothing wrong. And if you continue to insist that I am, you are missing the point of this post.

Stop worshiping the empty alter of stoicism, of emotionlessness, of quietude. It's not how most humans act. And it shouldn't be, because emotions exist for a reason. That reason? Is communication.

And if you're still not convinced, just get invited to a Pesach seder. Good luck with that being anything close to "calm".

~ Meig

[tea-and-secrets]

being trans without surgery in public sucks. getting misgendered in a group context where you can't correct it for fear of outing yourself sucks. being trans and around other trans folks is fucking beautiful and is the only thing holding my tenuous connection to reality at this moment. Please hug and validate your nearest trans person for me, folks. Love is love and bodies are ephemeral.

<333

[oysters-aint-for-me]

part of the real fantasy of lotr, like the part that makes you go “god i wish that were true,” is the idea that there is ONE THING you have to destroy, and it will all be better. JUST ONE THING. granted, it will take all your resources and nearly kill you in the process, leaving you a shell of your formal self—and there’s rebuilding that will need to be done—uncountable losses—but generally speaking, you just have to do one task and the worst of it will be over.

how i wish something like that existed in real life. wouldn’t it be great? if just one small person could do one really big thing when no one else was watching, and soon enough everyone had enough to eat and water to drink and a warm dry safe place to sleep? if there was a thing like that AT ALL??? how much easier it would all be!

but no. the reality is that is there is no one really big thing that one small person could do. maybe a really BIG person could do one really big thing and change nearly everything for the better—which is the fantasy of aragorn—another true fantasy, because in reality, there is no really big thing that a really big person would do. which leaves just small people doing small things. and that doesn’t feel like anything. but you can’t do nothing. so you do what you can.

you flip off that cyber truck with everything you’ve got.

[alwaysonf1]

If I was Felipe Drugovich, someone who works in a fandom centric industry who has turned down multiple great chances to drive in other areas of motorsport so he could sit and drive a handful of times a year in FPs and watch his abilities slip, I simply wouldn't create a history of liking tweets dissing Lance Stroll. Ya know, the man in the seat I want. The man whose father is a majority owner of the team I want on and who could still discourage me getting that seat even if his son leaves.

Like my dude, I wouldn't get caught doing that for a job that people don't really know about. Where is the professionalism? Where is the anxiety? Where is the sense?