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i downloaded bluesky just to check it out and begin Building My Platform and oohhhhh my goddd everyone on that app is so annoying and insufferable in a way i can’t even articulate. umm frennly reminder 🤓☝️ that my corgi penelope says hi 🍑 and [deranged combination of a minor trump gaffe you already forgot + a line of 1800s literature = a snarky comeback to ongoing elon musk drama that’s decipherable to at most 10 people] and then even more PhDs show up like “i’d like to see the supreme court debate THIS 🤣😂🤣”. every time i open that app i feel like i’m walking in 15 minutes late to an ongoing political debate between various assortments of people who didn’t have friends in high school and. they’re not even supposed to be debating politics we’re supposed to be ordering pizza. and listen i know millennials i enjoy millennials i like to consult millennials on what to do with my laundry and showerhead issues and my family relationships but for the love of god. for the love of comedy. the love of shit that isn’t $10 plastic succulent nor humanities degrree. i’m twitching. put the anecdote abt taking your doc martens to the local whimsical cobbler down and look at me.. oh what? you have a quip abt how 1800s peasants would consider email an “evil box”? ohh wow 😯 you’re typing it out right now? witticism? and you’re adding in a line abt how this evil box connects you with your metaamour wenches? that’s so coolll bro. oh yea sorry that’s so cool Friendo. no ik you’re such a good ally like that. thanks Rachel. thanks Jonathan. thanks Casey. maybe we can talk more abt your sliding scale kombucha idea when we’re having our sliding scale outdoors new homeowners afterparty foursome oh hey Jasey i think your cat Barnaby the Slutsmith just found an axolotl outside 👉🚪 i take you out back and i delete you i delete you i delete you