#cordell walker one shot

[sylvanaiello]

Une ff cross-over entre la série « Big Sky » et « Walker » ? 🤠 HELL YEAH !

Venez jeter un coup d’œil 🫶🏻

[positivexcellence]

Jared Padalecki Reflects on His 24-Year TV Run (‘I’m Pretty Tired’) and What’s Not Next After Walker Ends

“I’m grateful. Like, I’m not digging ditches. I’m not doing Red Cross work and saving human beings. But yeah, I’m pretty tired,” Padalecki says, adding that he’s “a little disillusioned about the state of the industry that I’ve loved and been employed with for 24 years. So I have a lot of thinking to do, and I have a lot of time to be with my wife and our kids, my friends, and think about where this industry is.”

Below, Padalecki opens up about Walker’s cancellation and why he doesn’t see another long-running TV series in his future.

TVLINE | Obviously, Supernatural was on a lot longer than Walker, but you were an executive producer on Walker, and you seemed to really bond with not only the cast but also the character of Cordell. So how has this letting go experience compared to that of Supernatural for you? With my experience on Gilmore Girls and Supernatural, we found ourselves in a similar situation, like around Seasons 3 and/or 4, where we were on the bubble, or there was a network change, or the head of the network changed, or there was a strike, or et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So we didn’t know if we’d make it, and in both cases, the network believed in us and let us go as long as we wanted, and now, they’re like two of the top 10 most watched shows on Netflix, worldwide, every year. So I kind of, stupid me, I was hoping and assuming the same might happen… I knew there was a chance. There’s always a chance that the show’s not going to go, but I was like, “Well, we’re still the most watched. We’re not expensive.” So I didn’t know what to expect, and I haven’t yet had time to have closure with Walker.

With Supernatural, Jensen [Ackles] and I talked about it in our trailers on set for years, or during conventions in the green room, or at home, or flying together, or whatever, playing golf. We’d talk about it, and finally, Season 14, we kind of looked at each other, and we were like, “Hey, you know what, I think it’s time to go back to our families.” “Yeah, I think you’re right.” So we met with [CW President] Mark Pedowitz and said, like, “Hey, we’re going to do Season 15, but that’s it.” So we had a couple years, and we, ultimately, made the decision. I left Gilmore Girls to do Supernatural. Jensen and I decided to go ahead and let Supernatural end and give it a good send-off.

That was not the same situation with Walker, obviously. So I’m still kind of dealing with it, to be honest with you. I love the show. I’m so grateful for the four years that we had. I think back to during the pandemic, we were one of the first shows to go back to filming after COVID. We shot in October of 2020, and it was still masks and six feet away. There was just so much everybody went through: car accidents, and more COVIDs, and strep, and flu, and births, and deaths, and marriages, and divorces, and another strike, and this and that. So we had gone through so much together. We had weathered so many storms that I figured we had a lot more storms to weather. It’s not the way it worked out. But right now, I’m really focusing on how grateful I am, and will forever be, for the time I got to spend on Walker.

TVLINE | Given the circumstances, how do you feel about how the series ended and how the storylines were left off in the finale? To the credit of CW and CBS [Studios], when we shot the finale, when it was written, we didn’t know whether or not we were going to go for a fifth or further season, and they did not push us to try and wrap things up in a tidy little bow, which would’ve been really bad storytelling and a really bad episode. They kind of said, “Write the best episode you can. We don’t know if it’s going to go five years, or 10 years, or 30 years, or four years. So make it the best you can.” We knew, and [showrunner] Anna [Fricke] knew, and Blythe Ann Johnson knew — they wrote the finale together — that it was possible [it would end]. So when I think back on the finale, I think whether it was the end of Season 4 or the end of Season 104, I would’ve wanted all the characters to have a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, something to look forward to. And so, all the characters get a send-off and a salute of sorts, but it feels like a proper episode of television. It doesn’t feel like, “Oh, they are in a diner, and let’s just turn the cameras off.” But again, it’s so difficult to end. When you fall in love with a character, or several characters, or a story, for 69 episodes, like how do you end it?

So I’m grateful that we were able to create the best episode that we could without any incumbrances of like, “You better make sure everybody dies, or everybody gets a new job,” or something. Because how could you possibly end the story of all the Walkers and all their friends and been like, “Oh, yup, cool, don’t need to see them anymore”? Like, no matter how it ended, I would’ve wanted to see more of them, and so I’m very proud of the episode.

TVLINE | You went from Gilmore Girls straight to 15 seasons of Supernatural to Walker. Are you exhausted yet? I was exhausted 20 years ago. [Laughs] I am. I am exhausted. When I found out that Walker was not going to go for a fifth season, that was on a Tuesday, and I left for Europe on a Friday, part work, part fun. But I was in Europe for like three and a half weeks with family and a little bit of work, a lot of travel. So I’ve only been in the United States four days in the last month, and so, I haven’t really had time to fully grasp it. But yes, I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m grateful. Like, I’m not digging ditches. I’m not doing Red Cross work and saving human beings. But yeah, I’m pretty tired. I’m a little disillusioned about the state of the industry that I’ve loved and been employed with for 24 years. So I have a lot of thinking to do, and I have a lot of time to be with my wife and our kids, my friends, and think about where this industry is.

I haven’t had time to really reassess my life. I got into this industry when I was 17 years old on Gilmore Girls, and I, at the time, had my school schedule for UT Austin, and so, I thought I was going to do a couple episodes and go back to UT and pay off some student loans or something. That was 24 years ago, so I haven’t really had the time. And even during the writers’ strike in ’08, we were just waiting for it to end to go back and shoot Supernatural. The pandemic in 2020, I was just waiting for it to end, so I could go finish Supernatural and start Walker. The writers’ strike last year, just waiting for it to end, so we could pick up Walker.

I was in Europe for a while, and people would come up and take a picture and get an autograph or whatever and [ask], “So what’s next?” and for the first time in my entire life, I was like, “I don’t know.” “Oh, well, surely you have stuff. What’s next?” I was like, “Well, I don’t know.” They’re like, “Oh, you can’t tell us.” “No, no. It’s not I can’t tell you. I don’t have a job waiting for me,” which I’ve never said that in my adult life. So it’s interesting, and I’m going to surround myself with family and friends and loved ones, and try and figure out if I have anything else to offer that people want, and if I can be of service in storytelling, somehow, some way, then I guess I’ll put my proverbial cowboy hat back on and saddle up.

TVLINE | When you’re ready, though, do you imagine that you will want to do another TV series? I don’t think so. I don’t mind long TV, but I’ve heard it said many times, and I agree, that hour-long episodic television is the hardest job in the industry. If you’re Elijah Wood in Lord of the Rings, and it’s three three-hour long movies or whatever, it’s still like 18 months, you know? There’s an end in sight. With TV shows, sometimes it lasts 15 years, and sometimes they say, “Hey, where do you live? OK, we’re shooting in Vancouver.” You say, “But my family, my wife and kids are in Austin.” Like, “Well, good for them. They can come move up here. Here’s a thousand bucks to fly them out.” It’s not for the weak-spirited. Like, you really have to sacrifice a lot, and I’ve sacrificed everything I have to sacrifice for many, many years, and I think I’m at a point in my life where I want to spend more time with my wife and kids. If a job on a TV show comes up, like I’ve talked to Kripke about The Boys stuff, like, “Yeah, I’ll come play with you for a month. Yeah, I’ll come play with you for two months, for six weeks, or whatever,” or, “Yeah, I’ll come pop in a week out of every month for the next three months.”

But a classic TV contract is a six-year contract. My oldest son is 12, my middle son is 10, my daughter is seven. So if I sign a six-year contract, and they’re filming in Alaska, then I miss my son getting a driver’s license, I miss him graduating high school, I miss his first girlfriend or boyfriend, his first heartbreak, his basketball games, I miss my other son’s driving test, I miss my daughter turning into a teenager, and then I’m leaving [my wife] Gen, too. It’s a big commitment. So I don’t foresee myself doing that unless, again, it was in Austin, and I was the executive producer that could be involved in knowing the show and making sure the cast and crew all did it in as efficient a way as possible.

TV LINE

[hexedwinchester]

The Pain is Different

Y'all know me, at this point, I should probably be running for the President of the "Club Hurt Sam Winchester" (does this exist?).. Other Jared Characters' hurt is just seem like an extension of that club.

It occurred to me Jared's portrayal of physical pain is quite different across different characters played by him. Of course, it wouldn't be right to compare one character's pain to the other because the methods of inflicting pain and the suffering that follows will be like comparing apples to oranges. So for the sake of this post, I have only used gifs that show humans as the torturer and with mostly similar methods or methods that are likely to cause similar level of pain on a pain scale (is there a scale?):

Sam Winchester, Supernatural: Out of all the characters played by Jared, Sam is the one who suffered the most and should have the highest tolerance/threshold against pain. He was tortured by the Devil in the cage, in Hell so it doesn't take a genius to guess all the creative ways he must have suffered. Sam's pain is raw and goes deeper than the physical plane of pain itself. When you look at Sam during these moments, his pain comes from within because there is always a display of emotional turmoil along with physical torment. I guess, this is why seeing Sam in pain feels like a knife twisting in your heart. To keep the comparison fair with the other characters, the GIF used is the one where Cole Trenton tortures him to get intel on Dean. The method is what one might use in an advanced interrogation technique but you can clearly see that emotional hurt and anger flashing through his face despite all of John's training. Sam suffers with his heart on his sleeve.

Cordell Walker, Walker: Cordell's pain outlet is purely physical. I guess, this mostly comes from him being professionally trained to handle such situations. He is trained to turn off the emotional unrest which is why there is a stark difference in the way Cordell responds to the torture versus how his brother Liam does at the start of season 3. Cordell has a game face on and there is no room for emotions to give in to his enemies' demands. He goes as far as to mention that they will not succeed in breaking him through physical pain which is why Liam was brought in in the first place. Despite that, we don't see Cordell falling apart because he does not suffer through pain with his emotions on his sleeves like Sam does.

Wade Felton, House of Wax: Again for this one, I had to take the shot where Vincent cuts through his Achilles heel because after that Wade is heavily sedated to be pliant and his response to pain is subdued as a result of the same. Now, Wade's pain is unfiltered because he is simply a kid who unfortunately got caught in the wrong place, at the wrong time and among the wrong people. There is no heroism in his suffering. He is squealing, crying and hurting, crawling away, terrified, scared and begging for mercy. There are no hero shots. He is just another victim and probably gives his tormentor the same satisfaction of being a whimpering mess as others have.

I skipped Friday the 13th because there is not enough opportunity to demonstrate Clay's suffering and none of the other characters played by Jared have suffered so much physical pain. But, among the above three characters, it was fascinating to see how vividly different the response to pain was.

[caranfindel]

Walker fic: Die young, stay pretty

When I saw episode 1.17 of Walker, “Dig,” I knew I needed a version with more whump. So here it is.

~~~

Emily was right, as usual.

“I wouldn’t ever dig my own grave.” Cordell had said that once, years ago. They were watching some forgettable movie (was it about cowboys? or maybe gangsters?) with a man being forced to dig a shallow grave at gunpoint. “If I’m gonna get shot anyway, why would I go through all that first? I’d just say no and let them shoot me then and there. Let the goons dig the hole.”

“But what if you wanted to use that time to think?” Emily had said. “To come up with a plan? Or to give someone else time to come rescue you?”

He’d laughed and pulled her closer. ”I’m the cavalry, sweetheart. No one’s gonna rescue me. I do the rescuing. Nah, I’d just call his bluff and say go ahead and shoot me, you dumbass goon. And keep in mind, you’re gonna have to dig a hell of a big hole if you wanna hide all this.”

But she had been right, as she always was. Because now he’s being held at gunpoint by a couple of - a couple of goons, the only word for them is goons - and he’s digging a hole that is surely meant to be his grave. And he’s watching and waiting for his opening. After all, he was right about one thing: no one’s going to rescue him.

Goon #1 is closer. Goon #2 is distracted, watching for someone, rifle slung over his shoulder, but Goon #1 is focused. Cordell’s knee buckles and he pauses for a moment to lean the shovel against the edge of the pit, to sweep the sweat out of his eyes and breathe for a little bit. Partly to stall for time but mostly because he’s fucking exhausted and everything hurts. After the truck rollover, the forced hike to this clearing, and digging the pit at gunpoint, he feels like someone spent an hour beating the crap out of him.

Goon #1 narrows his eyes at him, then leans over and rests the barrel of his gun against Cordell’s temple. The metal is cold, even in the stifling Austin heat, and Cordell can feel his pulse pounding against it. He holds his hands up in surrender and picks up the shovel again.

When the person Goon #2 is watching for does show up, Cordell isn’t surprised that it’s Stan. Half of him has been hoping Mendoza was mistaken, or lying. That it was all a misunderstanding that could be explained away as easily as Geri’s connection to the money was explained away. But the other half of him recognized immediately that Mendoza was telling the truth. And that half is ready to finally get revenge, to finally look into the eyes of the person responsible for Emily’s death as he wraps his hands around their throat.

The biggest surprise, though, is when Stan drags a body out of his truck. Any remaining hope Cordell has about his old friend being innocent vanishes completely. He continues pushing the shovel into the ground, one eye trained on Goon #1.

Stan doesn’t speak to him. Doesn’t even look at him, really, and that’s a bad goddamn sign. Because if you’re going to kill a longtime family friend, murder him in cold blood and leave him in a shallow grave, it’s going to be hard to look him in the eye. Instead, Stan starts yelling at Goon #2 about plans gone wrong and needing time to think.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cordell watches Goon #1’s revolver dip lower as he’s distracted by the argument. When Goon #2 angrily shoves his rifle at Stan, Cordell makes his move. He swings the shovel into Goon #1’s solar plexus, knocking him into the pit. He grabs the guy’s gun with one hand and his neck with the other, pulls him in close, and pushes the barrel into his chest. One shot and Goon #1 is down.

He wheels toward Stan and Goon #2. The goon is running toward him, so Cordell takes him out with a shot to the core. Then his right arm explodes in a white hot flash of pain and the gun drops from his numb fingers. Stan is looking down at him from the edge of the pit, rifle trained on him.

“Sorry, son. I’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your head.”

“I’m kinda defenseless here, Stan.” Cordell’s right arm hangs limp and useless at his side. Blood runs down his fingertips, pattering onto the broken earth. He nods toward the body lying next to Stan’s truck. “What about that guy? Was he defenseless too? When you killed him?”

“That was an accident.”

“And Emily? Was she an accident?”

Stan sighs. "I didn't want anything to happen to Emily. You have to know that, Cordell. I never would have hurt her if I had a choice, not for the world. But there was nothing I could do. She saw something they didn’t want anyone to see, and that was that. If I had tried to save her, they would have killed me and her. I couldn’t save her.”

“Sure,” Cordell says. He somehow manages to sound calm, even though everything inside of him is screaming. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Stan is still pointing the rifle at his chest. So this is it, then. Stan killed Emily and he’s about to kill Cordell and no one’s ever going to know. He wishes he’d told someone about his suspicions before he went running off on his own. He wishes he’d had a chance to hug his kids one more time, to say goodbye to his parents and his brother. He wishes a lot of things.

“I’m sorry it has to end like this,” Stan says. “I hate to do this. I really do.”

“Well, I’m sure it gets easier every time,” Cordell snaps. Time stretches out. He hears his own labored breathing, and the gentle drip of his blood hitting the dirt. He can almost hear his own heartbeat.

Then Stan’s mouth twitches into something that’s part smile, part grimace. “No,” he says quietly, “I don't believe it does.”

(I’m sorry, Em. I tried.)

There’s another bright burst of pain, and a thump in his chest like he’s been kicked by a horse. Cordell slumps against the side of the pit and then slips down into darkness.

~~~

“Hey, cowboy.”

They’re lying in a big bed. Not their bed, not their house. There are wooden beams running overhead and gauzy white curtains covering a glass door that opens onto a balcony. He can hear sounds from outside, music and happy voices floating up into their room. Emily’s head is on his shoulder, he’s running his fingers through her hair, and they’re barely paying attention to the television. There’s a movie on, gangsters or cowboys or something.

“You remember this place?” she asks.

He does. “That hotel in San Antonio, on the riverwalk. We came here for our anniversary. This is where we saw the movie, the one where the guy was digging his own grave, and I said I wouldn’t do that.”

“But you did.”

“Yeah, I did. And it didn’t matter. I didn’t come up with a plan and nobody rescued me.” He puts a finger on her chin and tilts her head up for a kiss. “It’s okay, though. At least I get to be here with you.”

Emily looks at him with sad dark eyes and doesn’t say anything.

~~~

Liam Walker spends his entire life watching his brother defy death. Cordell is always climbing things he shouldn't climb, taunting animals he shouldn't taunt, swimming in the pond on the south forty acres even though Daddy had warned them about snakes, inventing insane games with Hoyt Rawlins like truck surfing and rake jousting and chicken played against an angry bull. Die young, stay pretty, he always says. And if you survive, chicks dig scars, Hoyt always responds. Cordi considers himself invincible, and every day Liam fears he’ll be proven wrong.

But it isn't until Liam is ten years old that he starts seriously expecting his brother to die. Cordell gets arrested for something stupid, some ridiculous prank that involves breaking and entering and a fire and God knows what else, and their father lets him stew in the county jail overnight before bailing him out. The next day, Daddy is furious. Mama is horrified. And Liam stands in the hallway, listening unnoticed as they both light into his brother. “You're a goddamned idiot! You could have gotten yourself killed!” Cordell stands there and takes it, head bowed, but when he heads back to his room he winks at Liam and says "Die young, stay pretty, right?"

It doesn’t stop when Cordell graduates from high school; the stakes just get higher. Liam spends years waiting for his brother to return from Afghanistan in a flag-draped box. And then the undercover shitshow that almost feels like a passive suicide attempt, like some kind of subconscious mission to follow Emily into the dark. And the silent months at the end of it waiting for the phone call saying he'd done it; he'd died young.

All of this is to say that when Micki calls and says Cordell's truck has been found, wrecked and empty, Liam's second thought is he obviously got out, so he's just walking around somewhere in a daze; we'll find him and he'll be fine. But his first thought is maybe this is the day; maybe he finally did it.

Micki tells them all to stay home and let the proper authorities take care of it. Liam and his father ignore her. Abilene says she’ll stay at the house with Stella and Augie. "Someone needs to be here in case he comes home," she tells them. "You know how your daddy is. He'll get a ride from a friend and come strolling up here asking what's for dinner." And she might even believe it. But Liam can see on Stella’s face that her thoughts mirror his own. No, that's not how he is. How he is, is that he goes out and does something reckless, something crazy, something dangerous, and disappears, and you just sit and wait for someone to come tell you he's dead.

“He’s fine,” Liam tells her. He puts on his best everything will be okay expression, the one he wore for the kids so frequently when Cordell was gone. “We’ll find him. He’s fine.”

He almost believes it himself.

~~~

When Liam and Bonham pull up at the scene of the wreck, Micki greets them with an eyeroll. "Someday, one of the Walker boys is gonna do what I tell him to do."

"Maybe someday," says Bonham. "But not today."

The truck is a mess. Liam can’t imagine Cordell calmly getting out and walking away. "His phone's buried in here somewhere," Micki says. "I can hear it ringing when I call him. Things go flying around in a rollover. So it's possible he couldn't find it and he just started walking."

"But you don't think that's what happened," says Liam.

She pauses, as if considering how much to tell him. “Well, there’s this.” Micki motions them over to the driver's side and points to a scrape of grey paint. "Has he been in a wreck lately? Because this looks like he was hit by another car."

Bonham clenches his fists. "This is new. Someone did this? You think someone ran him off the road on purpose?"

"We don't know," Micki says. "It's entirely possible that it was an accident, and the other driver gave him a ride, maybe took him to the hospital. But no one has heard from him and he hasn't shown up in any local hospitals or walk-in clinics yet, so I think we're going to assume that isn't what happened. If it turns out I'm wrong, we'll just be pleasantly surprised. Right now we're calling in a search team and setting up a grid." She keeps talking, something about APBs and grey vehicles with red paint, but Liam is distracted by something on the ground. A long line scratched through the grass, as if gouged into the dirt by someone’s boot heel. It points away from the wreck, off into a line of trees about a hundred yards away.

"He went this way!"

Bonham and Micki turn to him, confused.

"Here, look. He used to do this when we'd play hide and seek, when I was little. He always left me a clue.” It took a long time for Liam to realize his big brother was doing it on purpose. For years, he just took pride in his observation skills. “He made this same mark for me. He pointed me in the right direction."

“All right then,” Bonham says. “We go that way.”

Micki puts a hand on his shoulder. “Wait. We’ll have a search team here in just a minute. We should…” She trails off, looking toward the trees. “No. Let’s go find him.”

~~~

They keep their eyes on the ground as they walk, looking for more lines scraped into the dirt. After five minutes or so, Liam is afraid it wasn’t an intentional signal after all, but Bonham spots the next one. Cordell is out here somewhere. Out here and signaling for help.

Micki stops to answer a radio call from the search team when they arrive on the scene, and Bonham slows down after several minutes of walking, so Liam is the one who crests a ridge first and sees it. A clearing. And in that clearing, a large mound of dirt that looks too much like a grave. He yells something. Later he won’t remember what it was, Cordell or Daddy or fuck, or something else. All he remembers later is that he’s screaming when he runs, is still screaming when he falls to his knees at the edge of the pile of dirt, when he sees the hand.

It isn’t Cordi’s hand. The fingers are too short and the hair on the back is too heavy, too dark. But it’s a man’s hand sticking out of this makeshift grave. Liam grabs it and pulls, but the rest of the man doesn’t budge. He starts frantically scooping away the loose dirt with his hands, revealing an arm and then a chest. Then he feels someone hit the ground next to him.

His father’s voice. “Oh God. That’s not -“

“No! Help me dig!”

In a moment Micki is there on her radio, giving coordinates and talking about shovels and an ambulance. Liam and Bonham manage to uncover the man’s upper body. His face has the grey cast of someone who’s been dead a few hours. Liam has no idea who he is, and honestly doesn’t care, because it’s not Cordell. He leans over to grab one arm and Bonham grabs the other. They’re finally able to pull the dead man out of the dirt, and Liam hears his father’s quick intake of breath as they see what was underneath the body. Who was underneath the body.

Cordell is leaning against the side of the pit as if he’d been seated and then slumped over in sleep. The body on top of him apparently shielded him from much of the dirt. He’s covered in dirt and what looks like blood, but the soil that was shoveled into this godforsaken hole didn’t cover his face. There was air there, at least for a while, if he was alive to breathe it.

They dump the dead man unceremoniously at the edge of the pit. Liam jumps into the hole and kneels next to his brother, putting his fingers against his throat. The man they just pulled out was cold, but Cordell’s skin is still warm. And there, against his fingertips - a flutter of movement. And then another, and another.

“He’s alive!” he yells. “Daddy, he’s still alive!”

Bonham had been moving slow and stiff, but he jumps into the pit with the agility of a decades-younger man. Together they frantically shove dirt away from Cordell. Micki’s there now, warning them to be careful, to wait for EMS, but Liam and his father know one thing - they’re getting Cordell out of this goddamn hole. Once they’ve cleared enough of the dirt away, Bonham grabs his legs and Liam bends Cordi’s torso forward so he can slide behind him. He grabs his arms and tries to get into position to lift his brother out of the pit. But when he lifts, Cordell wakes with a gasp of pain.

Liam eases him back as gently as he can, kneeling next to him. “Cordi,” he says. “You’re okay. Everything’s okay.”

Cordell’s eyes flicker open for a moment. “Liam?” His voice is faint and hoarse.

“Yeah, it’s me. You’re okay.” Which is a lie. Cordell is not okay. He’s not as grey as the body they pulled off of him, but his face is pale and his lips are faintly blue.

“Micki!” Bonham yells. “Where’s the ambulance?”

Micki doesn’t answer, but Liam looks up to see her several yards away, at the top of the ridge, facing away from them. She’s waving her arms to catch the ambulance driver’s attention. It must be close (please, God, let it be close).

Liam turns back to his brother. “Tell me what happened. Where are you hurt? Who did this?”

Cordell coughs wetly. “Stan. It was Stan Morrison.”

”Stan Morrison? What the - why? Why would he do this to you?”

Cordell opens his eyes and grasps at Liam. “He killed Emily. Tell Cap…” He stops and tries to take a deep breath. It triggers another wet cough. “Make sure James knows. He confessed. Stan killed Emily.”

Liam looks up and meets his father’s eyes to make sure they heard the same thing. Because that can’t be true. It can’t possibly be true.

“If I don’t make it…” Cordell coughs again. Blood splatters onto his lips, and bloody foam trickles from the side of his mouth. “Tell him. Tell him to talk to Mendoza. She was a witness, so Stan killed her. Promise, Liam. Make him talk to Mendoza.”

“Shut up. You can tell him yourself.” But Cordell’s eyes close and he goes silent.

The EMTs arrive and Micki pulls him away from his brother. “Let them do their job. He’ll be okay.” And then more officers are there and there are phone calls to be made and a statement to be taken (what do you need? I dug my not-quite-dead brother out of a grave and he says a family friend did it and also murdered his wife, for fuck’s sake, that’s all I know) and suddenly Liam looks up and sees the ambulance bouncing back toward the road. Bonham watches with him as it moves over the ridge and out of their sight, then slumps against a squad car. He looks pale and wiped out.

“Micki?” Liam says. “You think someone could give my dad a ride back to his truck?”

“I don’t need a ride!” Bonham snaps. “I’m fine.”

But Micki sees it too. “Mr. Walker,” she says, “They’re taking Cordell to Dell Seton hospital. I’m sure you want to get back to your family as soon as possible and get everyone over there. Let one of the guys here give you a head start by driving you to your truck.”

He acquiesces. “Yeah, yeah, okay. You coming?”

“I, ah.” Liam turns to Micki. “I’ll meet you there, if Micki doesn't mind giving me a ride. I need to call Larry James.” And this is true, but it’s equally true that he needs to drop the everything will be okay expression for just a bit.

~~~

By the time they all get to the hospital, Cordell is already in surgery. He's fine, the surgeon tells them afterward. He’s going to be fine. He had a couple of bullet wounds, a punctured lung, broken ribs, damage to his shoulder that shouldn't be permanent. Lost a lot of blood. But he’s going to be fine.

This time, anyway.

~~~

Only two visitors at a time are allowed into Cordell's room, so Stella and Augie go in first. Liam paces. Bonham retreats to the end of the hall to make a call. Abilene sits alone on the ugly burnt-orange vinyl bench. She's the toughest woman Liam knows, but right now she looks like a broken baby bird. She digs in her purse for a tissue, and Liam realizes tears are streaming down her cheeks. He sits next to her and puts an arm around her shoulder. “Mama, he's gonna be fine. There's no reason to cry.”

“Oh, Liam,” she sighs. Her voice is shaky. “I just don’t know why this family has to go through so much. After Emily, and you, and Cordi and Hoyt. I don’t like my babies being hurt. I can’t stand it.”

Liam resists the impulse to reach up and touch the scar where Stella cauterized his gunshot wound. “Well, maybe this is it. Maybe we’ve used up all our bad luck, and there’s nothing but good times ahead.”

Abilene laughs a shaky little laugh. “Maybe so. It would only be fair.” She wipes her eyes and puts on her own everything is okay face as Stella and Augie step out of the room.

Daddy must have been watching, because he ends his call quickly and takes Mama's hand to escort her into Cordell's room. Liam puts his arms up and the kids snuggle next to him, one under each arm, like they used to do when they were worried about their dad. When Liam was pretending not to be worried about him too.

"The guy who shot him is still out there," Stella says, and Liam suddenly realizes he doesn't know what they've been told, if they know an old family friend murdered their mother and then tried to kill their father. No one talked about Stan in the waiting room, and these kids are used to their father being a target. It's so fucking unfair. They shouldn't all have to spend their lives waiting for something horrible to happen.

"It's okay," he says. "I'm going to stay here tonight to keep guard. No one's going to hurt him."

~~~

Mama and Daddy take the kids home, and Liam finally opens the door to Cordell's room. It's dim - all the lights are off except a light over the sink - but he can see his brother well enough. The blood and dirt have been washed off, revealing cuts and bruises to his face. His chest and right arm are heavily bandaged, with a wound drain snaking out from his bandaged chest. An oxygen canula is taped under his nose.

"Hey, Stinker," Cordell says. "You all right?"

"Am I all right? Jesus, Cordi." Liam sits in the small side chair and angles it so he can see his brother's face. "How do you feel?"

Cordell tries to speak again, but falls into a coughing fit. Liam grabs the plastic water mug on the bedside table and holds the straw up to his lips. Cordell presses one hand against his chest incision and takes a small sip of water. "You talked to Larry James?" he says.

"I did. But I didn't know much. He said he'd send someone to talk to Mendoza, and he'll be up in the morning to get your statement. What the hell, Cordell? You said she was a witness?"

"Yeah. Stan was involved in some shit. Emily saw it." He closes his eyes and sighs. "I'd rather not talk about it right now. I'm kinda..."

"Yeah, no, sure. I'll hear it in the morning anyway. I'm going to stay here tonight."

"What do you mean, stay here? Go on home, man. You look like crap."

"Yeah, I don't think so. There's a man out there who wants to kill you. Think I'll hang around and make sure he doesn't."

"For fuck's sake, Liam. There's no reason to think he's going to come up here and finish me off."

Liam stands. His pulse pounds hot against his branded scar. "And yesterday there was no reason to think he was going to shoot you and bury you in a mass grave. But he did it, Cordell. And I'm not giving him the opportunity to do it again!"

"Liam -"

"No." Too loud, he's in a hospital and he's too damn loud. "Could you, just once in your life," he hisses, "stop trying to die?"

Cordell blinks in shock. "Okay," he says softly. "Okay. Stay here, if it makes you feel better."

"It does." Liam sits again, a little embarrassed, a lot relieved."You know, you can give up on that whole die young, stay pretty plan,” he says. “It's too late. You're old."

Something painful flickers across Cordell's face, and Liam immediately regrets whatever memory he unintentionally dredged up. Emily, Hoyt, their whole lives ahead of them. But then his brother smiles a faded ghost of a smile. "Maybe so," Cordell says. "But I'm still pretty."

Liam pats his ankle. "Yeah, I guess. For such an old guy."

(Maybe, just maybe, he’ll actually get old. Maybe Liam can make that happen.)

~~~

Please note that, though I’m posting this after s4, I actually wrote the vast majority of it during s1. In other words, I buried him first.

[winchestergirl2]

June Reading Recs

Well, it's been a month!

Between a very busy month at work and then Covid finally getting me, I've not had the chance to read as much as I would have liked, too. That said, I still managed to read some real gems. 💖

To show some love and appreciation to all the amazing writers here on tumblr, here are all the fantastic fics I've read this month. 💖

Many of these fics and blogs are 18+ only, and NSFW please heed the author's individual fic warnings and requests regarding no minors. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

Reading Recs Masterlist

Any Fandom

Giving In @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: You've finally given in to what you've wanted all this time but will it be enough?

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Now and Then (Masterlist) @thinkinghardhardlythinking

Authors Summary: Y/N and Dean met a few years ago, both lost in the uncertainty of their lives which were so far from what they had hoped for them to be, but love affairs end, some with heartbreak. Y/N moves on but when her new life sends her crashing back into Dean’s orbit, she wonders if, for her, it will ever truly be over.

Worn Out Leather @impala-dreamer

Authors Summary: ~It isn't easy, but you know when it's time to go.~

Big Sky

Beau Arlen

Montana Stars @spnbaby-67

Authors Summary: Just cute one shot between Beau Arlen and his girl, Y/N.

Polaris Chapter 1 @waynes-multiverse

Authors Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Walker

Cordell Walker

One Time Thing @bullet-prooflove

Tracker

Russell Shaw

Every Second Counts (Masterlist) @zepskies

Authors Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the first one you trust to help you find him. 

[lol-jackles]

Walker episode 2 review

Cordell, Trey, and Cassie find themselves watching over the episode’s titular character, Maybelline Pratt, a state witness in a money laundering case.  Maybeline has the charm of all 4 Golden Girls characters as well as their combined age.  Like Sophie Petrillo, she gave Trey the slip and tried to hotwire a patrol car with a wrench, because that’s how they do in Sicily.  Like Blanche Devereaux, she loves flirting with Trey even as they take turns running away from each other.  Like Dorothy Zbonak, she is full of judgment stares and sass and keeps calling Cordell by the wrong surname.   Rangers over the age of 50 are smitten with her because every red-blooded male that grew up in the 70s and 80s fell in love with Karen Allen and Kathleen Turner and their smokey voices.  Harrison Ford to this day can’t stand Indiana Jones fanboys approaching him to only want to talk about Marion Ravenwood and “that voice”.

Maybelline has the Rose Nylund naivety thinking she can just go back to St. Olaf and carried a metal file in her oversized purse to escape from WITSEC. Cordell decided one of them need to take her home.  Trey and Cassie were “not it” and Cordell reluctantly take her to Walker ranch while the 2 security officers assigned to her secure the area.  Maybelline soften her attitude towards Cordell when she sees family pictures and learn of Emily’s passing.  Later in the middle of the night, Cordell finds Maybelline having “just to taste” bourbon at the dinner table and the two have a heart to heart over Cordell’s worry over his children leaving the nest.

“The days are long, but the years are short”, Maybelline tells Cordell, and while children appear not to listen, they are always watching.  The fact that Stella and August feel comfortable enough to leave home just means he (and Emily) did a good job raising them, and they’ll likely come back one day.  Just like Cordell and Liam did.

Cordell found it easier to talk to a stranger about his anxiousness over being ill prepared for "the quiet" once his kids are gone.  Stella too, found it easier to talk to Ben about her guilt over Witt’s death and had even shut Liam out.  In attempt to make peace with her conflicting conscious, she visits a roadside memorial where Witt succumbed to his gun shot injury.  Unexpectantly Witt’s uncle, Mike, shows up and seems kind, which made Stella feel worse and she flees.  Then Mike ominously calls someone to say he found something “interesting”.   Looks like there will be a second mystery to go with the unsolved Jackal case as we never learn why Witt broke into Geri’s house.  Speaking of which…

Cassie had updated Geri (and us) that she decided to return to the Texas Rangers.  Later Geri offers Cassie to move into her house, referencing the break in that it would be a good idea to have a ranger around.  While Cassie is thrilled and accepted Geri’s offer, you know that Cordell would be worried about their girl talks.  At least I would be.

Cordell, Trey, and Cassie brings Maybelline to court to give her testimony only to walk right into a trap to distract them so that the baddies can kidnap Maybelline. Cue lively soundtrack as a car chase through the parking garage to rescue Maybelline ends in beat down fights by Cordell and Trey. Maybelline bats her Blanche Devereaux lashes at Trey for saving her.  Cordell insists it was a team effort.

At home, Cordell waits for August to discuss the issue of him wanting to join an after school boot camp to ready himself for the military, but he needs a signed permission slip from his father.  Earlier August asked Bonham to go over Cordell’s head and convince Trey, who is running the program, to let him join.  In the season 3 finale, Cordell wouldn’t give his permission to let August join the military while he is underage.   When Bonham tries to broach the subject with Cordell, he immediately shuts it down because he wants to put off of August growing up as long as he can.   But after his midnight conversation with Maybelline, Cordell is ready to have a talk with August.

Cordell explains that while he has no regret over his own tour in the military, he can’t help wondering if he missed out on other options and he doesn’t want that for August.  But, if this is really what August wants, he'll be supportive, no matter how much he'll worry over his “only son” and “baby boy”.  August is thrilled and promised to follow Cordell’s condition that he is present for every Sunday dinner and keep up his schoolwork.  A flashback scene from the pilot episode shows Cordell telling a 14-year-old August he didn't mean for his son to grow up quickly after his mother's death, adding to Cordell’s bittersweet demeanor.

We have "the quiet" before the storm with Cordell, Liam, Ben, and Stella having fun together playing darts at the Side Step. Stella returns to her dorm to find a threatening message on the window written in red paint.

Speculation #2: Witt didn't die from his gunshot wound and was murdered on the roadside by the same person who left the threatening message to Stella.

Score: 9 out of 10. What started out a light-hearted episode ends with a horror movie jump scare, a kind of metaphor for parental struggle and angst.

artist

[sabrinajenre96]

I was watching some edits about Cornell walker (Jared padalecki) in Wattpad there's not much fanfiction and I think the character deserves some love 🥺 doesn't anyone know a good fanfiction or one shot about Cordell Walker.

[walker-extended-universe]

Sammy Reborn, Chapter 3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Relationship(s): Cassie Perez & Cordell Walker, August Walker & Dean Winchester, August Walker & Cordell Walker

Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence- Alternate Universe, Kidnapping, Drug Use, Law Enforcement, Delusion, Delusional Dean, Stockholm Syndrome

Summary: The investigation continues, August tries to escape, nothing goes the way anyone hoped

Written for @juneofdoom prompt 23: "You're doing great"

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

---------

Cordell called the local Texarkana PD before he started driving there. He didn’t want to wait for approvals and emails. He wanted to speak to the diner staff directly and see the footage directly with his own eyes. Maybe he was being paranoid, going over the top. But his son was missing. Sue him.

Cassie sat silently in the passenger seat of his truck. She seemed to know better than to try to get him to talk, and he appreciated that.

He just needed August to be okay. The sooner they could find him, the sooner they could make sure he would be.

They spoke to the local PD first. The sheriff wasn’t happy to have them poking around their operation at first, but he softened when Cassie explained Cordell’s gruffness. “It’s just- this is his kid, you know,” she said in a hushed tone Cordell wasn’t supposed to hear. “He’s lucky our captain is even letting him work the case. We just need to look at the footage and talk to a few people, okay?”

Cordell silently thanked Cassie with an extra donut he snagged from the break room.

The sheriff’s secretary got them set up with a laptop that had access to all the footage they needed. Cordell didn’t want to spend too long looking; he and Cassie had to talk with the diner staff later that day. But this should give them a better idea of who was behind this and- hopefully- where he took August.

“Okay, she called me at 2:03pm yesterday and she said it had been about half an hour since August talked to her so we should probably be looking at around 12:50 to 1:00pm.” Cassie rewound the recordings to the right timestamps. “Once we’re sure they pulled through here and when, we can go and talk to Debbie and see what she can tell us about this ‘Dean’.”

“We’ll need to see if we can get a license plate too,” Cordell said. “The sooner we can find this crazy bastard, the better.”

“On it.” Cassie played the footage and they waited for anything interesting to happen.

Fortunately for his sanity, they didn’t have to wait too long. At about 1:05, they saw a black classic car that matched the make and model they were looking for pull into the parking lot. The passenger side was facing the camera and Cordell recognized August through the window. “That’s it.”

“Okay, now let’s see our driver.” Cassie zoomed in just as the driver of the car got out. They were able to get a much clearer shot from this camera than the one behind the Side Step.

She got a snapshot to run through facial recognition. Cordell could’ve sworn he’d seen his face before but he couldn’t quite place where.

They moved the camera to get the license plate number to see if they could get a full name, or at least a direction. After that, they waited for ‘Dean’ and August to return. It took a little over half an hour for them to leave, this time with Dean heavily supporting August. Cordell’s gut turned; just front he look on his face, he could tell August had been drugged.

Why hadn’t he just left when the waitress offered to help? Why didn’t he try to call directly? Did this Dean character scare him that much?

“Hey.” Cassie’s hand squeezed his arm. “He’s going to be okay. We’ll find him.”

“I know.” They had to find his son. There wasn’t another option.

Once they’d finished with the footage, Cordell sent request for facial recognition and license plate queries. While they waited on that, they headed to the diner to speak with Debbie.

“Do you recognize this man?” Cordell asked, showing her the snapshot they’d gotten from the camera.

“Oh, Dean? Yes, I know him. He’s a regular. Well, mostly. He comes by every couple weeks. He loved our house burger and our homemade cherry pie. Always gets at least once slice. And he’s a charmer,” she giggled. “Why are you asking me about him?”

“He’s a suspect in a kidnapping case,” Cassie said bluntly. “We got word that he was in here recently with a young boy; he may have called this boy ‘Sammy’. Does that sound familiar?”

“Oh! Yes, they were in here just yesterday. I thought that boy was just adorable. And Deanhad just been telling me a couple weeks ago how he’d been separated from his brother for a while but he wanted to see him again. I guess there must have been a custody issue…. But you said kidnapping?”

“Yes,” Cordell said bluntly. “Was this the boy he had with him yesterday?” he said, showing her a recent school picture of August.

“Yes, that was him. Such a cutie.”

“That boy’s name is actually August Walker. He was kidnapped from outside his place of work two nights ago. His family is very worried about him.” Cordell glared at Debbie, who was looking a little sheepish.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought he seemed quiet but Dean said he was always like that….”

“Ma’am, we want to find this young man as soon as possible,” Cassie said. “You seem very familiar with Dean. Is there anything you can tell us about him? Where he’s from, what he does for a living, if he has any other regular hangout spots?”

“Ah, well…..” Debbie bit her lip. “He comes from Kansas, I know that. I-I can also tell you he changes his license plates often. I never thought much of it; we get all kinds of strange types through here, lots of men who prefer to stay off the radar. My husband was like that, you know. Never even let us have a computer in the house; he didn’t want any cyber spies….” She trailed off with a chuckle. “A-Anyway, I can’t tell you much else. He talked a lot, but not much about himself. Just where he’d been or where he was going next.”

Kansas was a direction at least. A vague one, but it was something. “Thank you for your time, ma’am,” he said, standing up. “We’ll let you know if we have any more questions.”

“Of course, please tell me if you do. I-I’d do anything to help find that boy.”

As they left, Cordell got a call. “Hello?”

“Ranger, we got a return on those queries you sent.”

“Great, what do we know?”

“....You might want to come into the station. This is the kind of news that’s best delivered in person. And with you sitting down.”

Cordell swallowed hard and met Cassie’s concerned eyes. “We’re on our way.”

—----------

As Dean pulled into the garage of the bunker, Sam started waking up. Dean smiled and ruffled his hair. “Come on, sleeping beauty,” he teased. “We’re home.”

Sam blinked and looked around, face scrunched in confusion. “Home?”

“Yeah, Sammy, home. Come on.” He got out of the car and walked around to help Sam out. “Come on; let’s get settled in. Go to the bathroom, get a beer, konk out in front of the TV for a bit. Maybe in a few days we can go shopping and you can finally decorate your room.”

Sam huffed but followed him out of the garage. “I’m a little young for beer.”

“Eh, you’re old enough for me. It’s not like I’m gonna call the cops on you.”

Dean knew Sam would need help getting around the bunker, so he didn’t let him wander more than a few feet away for the rest of the day. Sammy seemed annoyed, especially when Dean followed him to the bathroom, but Dean was used to the bitchfaces. Besides, he couldn’t let his little brother get lost again.

Sammy seemed to appreciate the Dean Cave at least, which is more than Dean could hope for on the first day. His taste in movies hadn’t gotten much better, but he wasn’t big enough to fight for the remote yet so they watched Die Hard instead of whatever chick-flick crap Sammy had in mind.

One movie and a few beers later, Sammy was starting to nod off again, so Dean guided him to his room. “Night, Sammy. See you in the morning.”

“Yeah, night.”

Dean waited until he saw Sam get into bed before he closed the door and went to his own room down the hall. For the first time in months, he might actually get a good night’s sleep.

Sammy was home and all was well. He could relax.

Or, at least, that’s what he thought.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he heard someone sneaking around the bunker. They were clearly trying to be quiet about it, but failing miserably. 

Grabbing his gun, Dean got out of bed and followed the sound of not-so-quiet footsteps. Down the hall. Past Sammy’s empty room. Past the kitchen. Past the library. Into the war room. And…. Up the stairs.

“Sam? Where are you going?”

The kid whirled around and pressed his back against the door. He was terrified.

Maybe Dean should’ve expected this. Sammy was always the curious one, always testing boundaries, never wanting to do what he was told.

“I-Uh, I was just- You can’t keep me here!”

“Sam-”

“I’m not Sam! My name is August. August Walker! I don’t know what your problem is but it’s got nothing to do with me!”

Dena grit his teeth and started up the stairs. August blanched and ran out of the door, his feet pounding on the floor of the tunnel up to the surface.

Sam was fast, but Dean was faster.

He hated to knock Sammy out again, but he had to. Poor kid was just so confused, had so much to learn. Dean just forgot Sam had to re-learn where he belonged.

He hated to keep Sammy locked up in their dungeon, but it was the safest place in the bunker. He just needed time. Once Dean knew he could be trusted, he would let Sammy out again.

—------------

Cassie rubbed her eyes and went over the report again. After they got the news that Dean Winchester was their man, everything happened all at once. They had to report the update to James, who had to call in the FBI, which brought in a whole different mess of issues.

Walker’s relationship with the FBI was strained at best, but it was steadily getting worse. Even without Tessa on board, they wanted full jurisdiction over the case since Dean Winchester was one of their most wanted. But Walker, understandably, didn’t want to be taken off the case.

Unfortunately, the FBI didn’t want to play ball. So, the Rangers were off the case except for maybe as backup later on and they would be getting more frequent updates as a courtesy. But, naturally, Walker wasn’t going to just let that slide.

Cassie knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere butting heads with the FBI though, so she’d spent the last few weeks researching alternative options. Hopefully, this time he would listen to her instead of risking his badge. Again.

“Let’s go for lunch, Walker.”

He glanced up at her but waved her off. “Go without me. I need to-”

“Let’s go for lunch, Walker. Now.”

“I- Okay.” Walker nodded and stood up robotically. “Where are we going?”

“Side Step. I’m driving.”

“O-Okay.”

Walker was wise enough not to ask any questions until they were sitting down with their food. “So, what did you drag me out of the office for?”

Cassie chewed slowly so she could think out her words. “You’re mad about being taken off August’s case. Which, I get. But butting heads with the FBI isn’t going to get you anywhere and going off on your own is only going to get you, me, and James in trouble. So, I had an idea.”

She handed him a file. “Colter Shaw is a relatively famous tracker with a 95% success rate in finding whatever is asked of him- for a price. If you want to find August without dealing with the FBI, I think he’s your best bet.”

Cordell glanced at the file and scoffed. “You think I can trust a mercenary more than the FBI? I’d be better off taking a leave of absence and doing this myself.”

“He’s not a mercenary,” Cassie said. “I’ve looked into him. Yeah, he makes money off of this but he’s actually a pretty decent human being too. Even the cops that have run into him seem to like him and that’s saying something. And… He’s the best.”

Walker closed the file. “I don’t know. I’ve never liked working with guys like that. And with his track record, I’d probably have to offer up money I can’t afford just to get in the door with him.”

“He’s not that bad,” Cassie insisted. “Just think about it, okay?”

He sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it. Can we eat now?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, eat your queso.”

—-----------

When Dean first threw him in this dungeon, August had considered it a mercy. No more stares or cryptic words. He just had to wait down here until he was found. Dean wouldn’t let him starve, not so long as he wanted his “little brother” around, right?

Dad would come get him soon. He was good at his job. August wouldn’t be down here for long.

Of course, in this initial assessment, he failed to account for the fact that it was really hard to tell the passage of time while locked in an underground dungeon. He had no clock, no window, nothing. He wasn’t even sure what time it was when Dean threw him down here. The only sense he had for the passage of time was his hunger and other bodily needs.

Dean brought him meals, a different one each time. It was hard for August to parse if they were supposed to be for breakfast or lunch or a random snack.

Not that he was paying that much attention to the food when Dean came. He could barely even bring himself to eat under Dean’s judgemental gaze. The man was intimidating, especially now that August was no longer on a somewhat equal level to him. He wasn’t “Sammy”, the coveted little brother anymore. He was “Sammy”, the disappointing inmate.

When Dean delivered his food, he always tried to make conversation. He gave August “updates” on people he’d never met and asked him questions he didn’t know the answers to. Every time August tried to just tell him he didn’t know or didn’t care, Dean would get angry. Sometimes he’d just go quiet, sometimes he’d yell and break something, and sometimes he’d just look so sad.

August didn’t know what he wanted, or even if he wanted to give it to him. He just wanted to go home.

After what felt like weeks, something snapped. Maybe Dean lost his patience or maybe August did or maybe he should’ve seen this coming. But it felt like, in an instant, everything changed.

“So I was thinking we could give Jody a visit once you’re feeling better. You’ll like you; you have the same taste in movies. Cheesy romcom shit.” Dean had said.

August, in all his wisdom, decided to be snarky. “She’s the one that's a sheriff right? Maybe we should visit her, so she can arrest you for kidnapping.”

Dean slapped him hard enough to knock him to the ground.

“Dammit, Sammy,” he hissed. “I’ve tried to be patient with you, I really have, but you- You’re just so damn stubborn. Always have been. I thought I could handle this but….” He sighed and shook his head. “Wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong about you.” With that, he left the room, taking August’s mostly full plate with him.

August stared after him, one hand hovering over his cheek, shocked and even more terrified than before.

The next few hours passed in scared silence. Normally, August could hear some activity from the hallway, even if Dean didn’t enter. But now, it was silent. Now, all he could hear was the sound of his own breathing and heartbeat.

Normally when his stomach started to growl, Dean would appear with food. But now, there was nothing. Now, all he had was the water jug that Dean had failed to refill earlier.

At some point, August fell asleep. When he woke up, there was no sign of Dean. No water, no food, nothing.

A different kind of fear struck him. What if he’d pushed too far, said the wrong thing, and now Dean didn’t care if he lived or died? What if being “Sammy” wasn’t enough? Would Dean leave him to starve down here? Would he ever get out and see his real family again?

“Dean….” He called out hesitantly. “Dean, I-I’m sorry. About before. I-I was just joking. You know that, right? I-I didn’t mean anything by it….”

Nothing.

Time passed. It felt like days, but it could’ve been hours. August slipped in an out of consciousness as he waited. He tried calling out to Dean, begging for another chance, for forgiveness, for a water refill, anything. But there was nothing. Just him in this empty room, sleep his only distraction from the pains wracking his body.

This is it. I’m going to die here.

If he wasn’t so dehydrated, August might cry. He wanted to call out for Dean again, but he was too tired. Instead, he closed his eyes for what might be the final time.

When he woke up, there was something lodged in his arm and he could hear that he wasn’t alone anymore.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. There was an IV stuck in his arm and he’d been granted a pillow. He groaned as he tried to sit up and Dean quickly filled his vision.

“Easy, Sammy,” he murmured, getting August to lie back down. “You’re okay, you’re okay….”

August groaned, following Dean’s guidance. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“I know. I’m sorry too, Sammy,” Dean whispered, stroking his hair. “I didn’t think- I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I just- I got so angry. And you needed to learn…. You just have to learn to listen to me, Sammy.”

“I will,” August promised. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Dean gave him a small smile. “That’s all I needed to hear. Do you think you can eat something? I brought toast….”

August ate small bites of the toast and drank the warm broth. “You’re doing great,” Dean encouraged him. An unexpected warmth bloomed in his chest.

He could manage this. He just had to play along for a little while longer.

[kickingitwithkirk]

When the past won't let go

Summary: Sometimes there’s more to the story

Pairing: Cordell Walker x Reader

Word Count: 2511

Warnings: cursing, past memories, angst, personal conflict, mentions of death, revealing secrets

Square Filled: Forbidden Relationship @walker-bingo

A/N: This segment is told from Walker's POV

A/N II: part six of Duke x Reader/Cordell x Reader series of drabbles and stories for this bingo.

*Set between 2.05 Partners and Third Wheels & 2.06 Douglass Fir

*divider by @firefly-graphics

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

Walker

“Agent Graves knew Stan Morrison killed your wife...”

Those eight words turned my heart inside out again.

It was a good thing Micki showed up at that moment, she took one look and ordered me to take a walk before I lost my shit and hospital security got called. 

I ended up in one of the city's parks heading down a hiking trail that thankfully wasn’t busy this time of day came to an outcropping near the river, sat down, and took off my hat, letting it dangle between my legs, going back over that year.

The pain was followed by excessive drinking and extended workload, using both to numb me, barely going through the motions of life without actually being in it till the accident at home and decided it was best for all to leave, going undercover on Operation: Watch The Throne. 

After months of trying to make inroads, those two women came; Twyla Jean, who got me into the Kings through a fake relationship, and Y/N, the mystery piece who made me put in the work to crack open the door she used to keep everyone at bay.  

The one my memories, or is it my heart, refuses to release me from. 

Later Stan’s betrayal was exposed after years of friendship..hell, the man was family, sent us all into a tailspin cumulated with us standing upon that spot forced him to confess after Emily stumbled upon a drug haul he pulled the trigger on the kill shot to save his own skin from Northside Nation. 

All this time, now I’m wondering how many other things I’ve missed.

I peered through the view window to see Micki texting on her phone spotting me taps a finger to her lips, and came out quietly shutting the door.

“You cooled off?”

“Yeah, hey, thank you for giving me some time to sort stuff out.”

“Is it sorted?”

“For now. So did Y/N write anything else about Mannon?”

“She wrote down a few places he might be hiding but so far, no sign he’s been to any of them. The doctor came by and said she’ll be out tomorrow. I let Cap know and he’s arranging a safe house.”

“Okay, good.”

“So, you wanna tell me about it?”

“No.”

Micki’s eyebrow arched, “since when?”

I spy James coming down the hall, “how about not right now.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Hold him to what?” James asked, “Cap, we all set?” Micki deflected.

“Everything’s set but I’d rather finish this discussion a little more privately,” he opens the door for her to enter first, “I called in a couple of favors and got the safe house in Buffalo.”

“That’s not in our jurisdiction,” Micki says and James lowers his voice, “I did some digging. It’s not been substantiated but it’s looking like Mannon may not only have informants in Austin but other law enforcement agencies, so we need to fly under the radar on this.”

“You’re thinking Graves is on the leaks?” 

“I could’ve told you that,” a scratchy voice answered.

“You’re supposed to be writing, not talking.” I sternly say and you give me that particular look hear James stifle a laugh before clapping my shoulder, “good luck with that.”

Next morning 

The nurse had finished going over discharge instructions when James dropped by with the safehouse details and informed us that the landlord had taken what Y/N had of value as payment for damages and tossed everything else. 

“My bag, y’all happen to confiscate it?” James shook his head, “I’m sorry, we didn’t find it.”

“What happened to the clothes I had on?”

“They had to cut your uniform off and you were barefoot.”

“Leave it to that sonuvabitch to take my last sixty-five bucks.” Y/N croaked out.

“I’ve already signed off on a purchase voucher for what you’ll need,” James said, “I’ll reach out to some contacts who can help with getting you back on your feet once we have Mannon in custody.”

Tugging at the robe-covered hospital gown, “wonder if they’ll let me keep this lovely ensemble, maybe get some of those awesome slippers to match since I don’t have a-pot to piss in.”

She broke off coughing and I grabbed the water cup, “that’s what you get for talking too much,” sticking the straw between her lips. “You can borrow my stuff till we get you some.”

“I’m no charity case, Ranger Walker,”  Y/N mumbled around the straw.

“Never thought you were.” 

Buffalo, TX

“Well, this is quaint.” 

Micki’s sarcasm wasn’t far off. 

The safe house turned out to be an older one-bedroom, one-bath ranch in the middle of nowhere with a pull-out and doorways I have to duck through.

“At least we got a clear view of the perimeter.”

“For once I’m happy it’s winter, makes it harder for anyone to hide, even in camo,” Micki commented. “We’ll still need to periodically check around that corpse of trees, looked pretty thick when we pulled in.”

“Let’s hope Mannon hasn’t caught on to our ruse and is following the decoy to Fredericksburg.” 

Micki opened the fridge, “whoever set this up didn’t leave much, I better do a supply run.”

“Why you?”

“Cause an almost 6’5” Sasquatch in Ranger clothes isn’t gonna stand out?”

“Good point. Head out-of-town so locals stay in the dark.”

“I’ll change and go to Palestine or Mexia,”  Micki grabs her bag and goes into the bedroom leaving the door cracked, “gotta feeling we'll be stuck here for a while, so I’ll double up on the groceries, especially with how much you pack away.” 

“Funny, where’s Y/N?”

Micki walked out slipping on her jacket and crossing her arms, “locked herself in the bath muttering something about preferring the hoosgow then stuck in an ace in the hole with a tenderfoot and blatherskite. She’s got quite the mouth on her.”

“Y/N tends to be colorful when stressed.”

 “What’s she like normally?”

“Sarcasm on a shingle.” Y/N sarcastically quips.

My breath hitched seeing you in my flannel and faded jeans, the type so worn in they’re almost too comfortable to take off, accentuating your curves that’ve haunted my dreams spot toes peeking out under the rolled cuffs.

“What’re you grinning at?”

“You ahh, you still wear that purple polish.”

“Right. I’m gonna get going,” I felt Micki’s scrutiny, mouthing behave, making mine downturn in response.

“I see Ramirez doesn’t tolerate any of your bullshine either.” 

Not giving me a chance to respond, you walk off to the cupboard finding the extra set of bedding and pillows come back, cocking your head for me to move.

“What’re you doing?”

“Making up the pullout.”

“Okay, but you’re not sleeping out here.”

“Why?”

“What’d ya mean why? You’re doubling up with Micki..”

“You two can double up in this dice house, I’m parking it out here!”

“The hell you are! Look, your ex has proven he can slip in and out of places undetected so until he’s in custody, we’re going to need to keep you within eyesight 24/7.”

“Ranger Walker, does that mean you’re personally gonna join me in the bath and scrub my back?”

“I..you..you know that’s not what I meant!”

“I’m not going to argue this one,” your voice is wearing out from overuse, “Y/N you probably aren't gonna believe me but I understand what a traumatic..”

“How am I supposed to believe anything coming from that mouth of yours?” Shit, the sheer vitriol in your voice.

 “I know this is my only chance at earning any trust from you again, and I‘m gonna be one hundred percent open and honest.” Sitting down I looked up at her with no filters, “remember me telling you about my wife?”

“You said she died in an accident.”

“Her name was Emily. The last time I saw her, she and a friend headed for the border, restocking supply stations. She called..she was so scared then I heard gunshots..I tried calling her back but I knew.”  

Fuck, feel like I’m gonna choke on my tongue.

“After the funeral, I buried myself in the job and the bottle. Finally, my family, James, and Stan Morrison did an intervention. I couldn’t be there anymore so I told them I was taking the undercover job outta town..and lost myself in those months. ”

I wasn’t expecting you to sit down next to me, let alone place your hand on my leg, and took the risk of placing my hand on top of yours.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes and have no right but I am asking you to give me, Cordell Walker, a chance to prove you can trust me.”

Days later

“How much more time does she need?” Micki snapped.

Y/N’s indecisiveness was wearing on all our nerves, seriously thinking of hitting that bottle I’d snuck in. 

Of course, it didn’t help this morning Micki decided to try talking, okay, she tried some psychoanalysis learned from Adrianna, leading to one helluva blowout that had me physically hauling Y/N outside like a sack of taters. 

Glancing away from you angrily pacing outside to an equally angry Micki, “as long as she needs. Look, we’re all tired and cranky..”

 “You think?” 

“We can’t push..”

“.. then implement those charms of yours Beau so we can..”

“Wrap this up and move on to the next case?” 

We both startled not hearing you come in, “gee, wish it was that easy for me, I’d love to be able to move on from this.”

“You’ve had ample opportunity to tell anyone in law enforcement..”

“If I had, I'd been dead a long time ago.”

“What?” 

“There’s a shitload more to this than you’ve been told.” 

“Walker, grab that bottle I know you’ve got, and let’s all get real comfortable,” Micki retrieved three cups and sat down.

“I don’t wanna discuss my personal goings-on so let’s start with what brought him here.” Y/N threw back her drink, “ya know why I ditched my real name?” 

“Your file wasn’t clear.”

“Because I wouldn’t play their reindeer games.” Not entirely sure where she was going and Micki appeared as puzzled as me. “Wait, you two really don’t know who my family are?”

“No.”

“Daddy got his start by helping certain elected individuals with their less-than-legal activities. In appreciation, they made him Senator Y/D/L/N.”

“One of the Senators who confirms PSC appointments,” Micki states, and I add, “PSC oversees DPS,” some more pieces click, “he found out about Stan’s illegal activities.”

Y/N tapped the side of her nose.

 “The mysterious appearance of pension funds also blipped on the Secret Services financial investigations radar but they didn’t have enough tangible evidence against Morrison.  It was sheer coincidence Eric was sent at the same time the Kings started robbing banks.” 

“The Kings started a few months before Walker went undercover.”

“No, they’d started small a few years ago, Clint wanted it down to a T before moving on to bigger game, that was Eric’s in. He came up with partnering with Northside; in exchange for laundering the money, they’d make a delivery or pickup while on the circuit, that’s how Clint, Crystal, and Jaxon got misdemeanor drug charges. When Twerp came in, Clint persuaded her into giving Northside banking information on the businesses they were interested in, like The Side Step and Carlos Mendoza's family businesses.”  

“Wow, gotta give it to Graves,” Micki interjects, “she’s better at burying shit than I’d given her credit for.” 

Y/N gave me a curious look, “you didn’t know any of this?”

“No, but it makes sense, what Stan said, this can’t go on. I thought it was my screwing up at home but I was already getting too close before going under, why he hoped that the Rodeo Kings would end me.”

“Just like Clint, might’ve called you family but didn’t stop him from turning if he thought you were a threat.”

Micki pointedly glares at Y/N, “and you blithely went along with them, not caring who got hurt..” 

Y/N shot outta her seat and disappeared outside.

Shit! 

I sat down next to Y/N and leaned back against the same corps trees that half circled a small pond hand her one of the mugs I’d brought. 

“Been out here awhile, thought you might need a warm-up.” She took a sip and smiled, “you’ve never forgotten what I like since that first time you offered me coffee.”

“My daddy told me before I got married, ‘son, the key to a happy marriage is never forget what a woman likes to drink’.”

Y/N sighed, “Clint always was crazier than a Kiowa Paint Mare, somewhere along the way, he got twisted. I never believed he’d take things that far, or hurt your family as he did.”

 “How’d you..”

“Trevor. He told me everything but your real name.”

“Clint blamed me for Crystal, for what happened that day, wanted me to understand what it was to suffer. If Trevor hadn’t interfered, I’da killed him with my bare hands.” 

“Then you’d have become him.”

“Hmph, I’ve been on the edge of that precipice more than once.” “But you didn’t jump,” she said, “your Jimmy Cricket didn’t let you.”

“Let your conscience be your guide Jimmy Cricket?”

“No, don’t know what else to call it. That something that stops you from stepping off the ledge of not coming back,” she shrugged.

“For me, it’s my family. No matter how hard it gets, they never gave up on me.”

Y/N starts playing with the chain for my dog tags, making the rational part of my brain holler at me this is wrong, she’s under my protection and off limits.

Irrational desire flames in me as her feathery touch makes my skin tingles, accept the invitation of tasting her sweet lips.

A hand covering my mouth instinctively made me grab their arm.

“Walker, it’s me,” Y/N whispered before removing her hand, “stay quiet, there are people moving around outside.”

“How many?”

“Not sure but I saw three night-sights.”

Shit, not good hear Micki stirring, “hey, we’ve got company.”

***

“Slow down but don’t stop,” I reach for my duffel from the floorboard.

“Walker, whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”

“Stick to the plan..”

“..you bailing out of a moving vehicle wasn’t..”

“He’s right,” Y/N grabs hers, “sticking together gonna get you killed. I’ll split, you two can say it was during the firefight and..”

“..I’m coming with you..”

 “..the hell you are..”

“..you are in my custody and my responsibility. Micki, got any extra cash on you?” 

I rifled through the wallet she tossed me, “get Liam to discretely look into Graves’s recent activities, got a feeling Mannon’s sudden appearance wasn’t random, and tell James I’ll be in contact in a few days.”

“Walker..”

“I know. Be careful Flor, we don’t know who to trust inside the circle anymore.” 

Glancing in the rearview mirror, “on three.”

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @b3autyfuldisast3r @lassie-bird @nancyml @spnbaby-67 @leigh70

Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid

[amberjazmyn]

"we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--"

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - "we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and I just don't--"

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - depressing, grief, grieving husband, widower, character death, hysterical crying

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - jared's wife lennon padalecki, a real-life texas ranger is murdered in cold blood. jared is then called after a day on set for his tv show, walker, which is a show about texas rangers, and has to visit the coroner's office to identify/see the body for the first time. 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i am writing this for jared once again but i'm changing his wife's name from maisie to lennon and that she is a real life texas ranger cause then it makes sense because he plays a ranger on tv but his wife is the real thing. so, i thought, if he has a wife in the texas rangers that gets killed in the line of fire during work it could still follow episode nine of season one of walker. because, season one, episode nine shows us through flashbacks the night that emily walker, the wife of jared's character cordell walker, gets killed. and in this episode, jared's character cordell and odette annable's character geri brussard travel to the coroner's office to identify the body. so, yeah, that's why i decided to switch it around and make it a jared one-shot and not a walker one-shot. italics will be used and the present time will be written in the normal font. it'll also be written in lowercase

masterlist

- - - 

her body, from head to toe, was shutting down, slowing itself as were all of her vital organs. the exact ones that were usually so good at keeping her alive during moments of immense panic. she was trying so hard to breathe in and out but she couldn't. laying on the ground, in the muddy grassy field she couldn't help but pray and hope that help was on its way. that was if help had even been called since she was no longer with her garda partner. every time she tried to breathe in, she'd start choking and gurgling on the blood that was rising up in her throat from the gunshot wound to her stomach. and this was due to the fact that she was lying down on the floor as though she was paralyzed.

trying to keep her eyes open, she tried so hard to stay alive. even though she knew that in a matter of minutes, maybe seconds, she would be dead. because, even with every piece of texas ranger training she went through, nothing would ever really prepare her for a moment like this. this was when real life texas ranger, lennon padalecki's phone started to ring again. this wasn't the first time her phone had rung though since earlier on, before this happened, she was on the phone to her husband before she hung up on him mid-gunshot. as she moaned in pain at her incoming death, she just as about looked at her phone one last time, looking at the contact photo of her husband, jared padalecki as it flashed up on her iphone. the photo was of the two of them laughing as jared had tried to go in for a kiss on lennon's lips. however, he had missed her lips entirely whilst their twin boys, kai and ethan, who were only a few months old and their daughter aurelia, aged sixteen were seen in the background. the twins and aurelia were also pictured, just like their parents, laughing at their silly antics. all of this was happening whilst tears, blood, sweat and every other bodily fluid bubbled in lennon's throat and down her face. this was when she came to the fate that she was going to die and that no one was going to find her. and, this for some reason gave peace to lennon. even though she and jared had just become new and first-time parents to their aforementioned twin boys, kai and ethan who were only a few months old, making sixteen-year-old aurelia an older sister for the first time. due to the fact that sixteen-year-old aurelia padalecki was born from a previous relationship of her mothers. and, for some reason, lennon never thought that during her time as a texas ranger that she'd die like this, on the wet, dewey, muddy field of grass looking up at the beautiful austin night sky. a huge gunshot wound overflowing with blood in the middle of her abdominal-stomach area. lennon had no clue that she got accidentally tangled with an iilegal drug trade at the border.

she was never told that important piece of information in the brief of her and her partners case. all the information they were given was that they were just driving to the border to deliever clean bottled water to a different crew of rangers who were finishing up a more serious case. with lennon's breathing starting to slow, so did her panic and worry of dying. her entire life from a little girl to the first time she met her husband to then watching them get married to then having aurelia and then kai and ethan along with all the other happy moments she spent with the rest of jared's walker castmates and their partners played through her mind as though it was a mini highlight reel of her life - which it was.

this put her at ease, she found herself taking her last breath, a smile on her face with her eyes focused upon the gorgeous austin night sky. her eyes fluttered shut as though she was just falling asleep and she wasn't bleeding out, covered in sweat, tears and various other fluids. she was calm and at rest even though the way to this moment was anything but calming and restful.

back at the set of his tv show, walker, that revolves around his wife's real life job as a texas ranger, jared couldn't contain his worry. thankful though, for the fact that walker was even filmed at their home state in austin, texas. meaning that he was closer to home than he would be if he was in vancouver or los angeles. this then inadvertently meant that the least of his worries was having to get on a plane to rush home to his wife. however, it still worried him that his wife didn't pick up the phone call after the first time she called originally. this made him think that she was in trouble - of course it did. this entire sitution gave jared a feeling that he didn't want to trust or worry about. but, he knew due to his wife's job as a texas ranger, he always had to worry about every and any phone call he could receive from his wife, boss or work partner. that phone call and missed phone call genuinely gave jared the heebie-jeebies but because he was on set for walker with his castmates, he desperately tried to forget about it.

it gave him the complete full body shivers to think about the possibility of something bad happening to his wife whilst she was at work. especially when all of her cases lately had been rather tame and nothing too scary. which then sent another full body shiver down jared's spine, giving him the thought of why would his wife call him while she's on shift if nothing was wrong?

this was when jared's phone started to ring again. the number was from the travis county coroner's office in regards to a body that needed indentifying. however, obviously, just from a number, jared didn't know that immediately like his wife was able to. in jared's mind, it was just an unknown number that had rung him but, truthfuly, he did assume that it was a law enforcement/government official number. so, it gave him all the wrong feelings that it was the coroner's office.

for a moment, jared was confused why they would need him when it was his wife that was the real-life texas ranger. why would jared need to identify someone...his blood then grew cold as his eyes began to water and he started to feel sick in the pit of his stomach.

what if that gut feeling was because of that strange phone call he received from lennon. what if something bad had indeed happened to his wife?

"...hello, am i speaking to a mr...jared padalecki?" the male on the other side of the phoneline queried

this made jared's anxiety anything but better about where his wife was, "umm, yes...yes, this is he. who...who am i speaking with, sorry?" jared stammered out in confusion and worry, his heart beating out of his chest - just hoping it was the rangers or--

"--this is the travis county coroner's office, sir. a lady in her early to late thirties has just been brought in to us and we're still unsure about her identity. but with the information we received, we found out that you are an emergency contact. we're just asking for you to come down so you can identify this woman. this is because as of right now, you sir, are our only possible lead as to who this woman is," the man spoke softly and with empathy

jared felt as though he had been thrown to the floor and kicked in the stomach. his breath was gone in a second as he then realised, the woman from what he had been told wasn't a ranger- maybe he wouldn't be identifying his wife after all.

"oh...oh, okay, yeah of...of course! i...i'll be on my way soon i just gotta--"

"--oh, sir, wait, before i forget, sorry, was the woman brought into the coroner's office a texas ranger?" jared stammered out

completely out of his director's seat now, showed his boss, anna, his phone with the now shown coroner's phone number. immediately, no questions asked, anna allowed jared to grab his things. also letting keegan, coby and odette go with him. not having a single care in the world that the four of them had a tv show to film.

the other man on the other end of the phone then responded with a soft gasp of remembrance, "ahh, that's what i had forgotten. i am so sorry mr padalecki, the woman that's been brought into the examiner's office was indeed mentioned to be a texas ranger. and now, i think we have a firm belief as to who it is. hence why you've been our first point of contact, so please be careful mr padalecki. we will see you when you arrive, thank you for your time," the man spoke as he then hung up to do what jared assumed was to ring the other three emergency contacts of who he didn't know was his own wife, lennon

because, all of a sudden, jared didn't seem too worried. he had suddenly remembered a rule in regards to what happens when a texas ranger dies whilst they are in active service. the rule is or was that the first person called is not the wife/husband/parent of the officer but the last person to be contacted. so, because of jared remembering this rule that was actually switched to the wife/husband/parent being called first, his worry and anxiety of him being told his wife had been killed in active duty just slipped away.

so, because of this, jared went straight to autopilot thinking it was lennon's partner, elliot that had died. as soon as the phone line went dead, jared rushed to his car, keegan joining him whilst coby and odette went in coby's big car. coby driving right behind jared as they sped down to the coroner's office, the two of them most likely breaking a ton of road rules. all the while just hoping that the person he was going to identify wasn't someone he was related to, let alone elliot or his own wife. and even then, he'd still be confused and equally as heartbroken as to who this person would be and why he'd be an unknown ranger's emergency contact since he was already elliot's second point of contact after his own wife. in the same way that elliot's wife was the second point of contact of lennon after jared.

as jared, keegan, odette and coby arrived at the travis county coroner's office, they all stepped out of their cars. jared now feeling dizzy and stressed out.

"jared, man, what's going on, do you know?" odette approached her nervous castmate and best friend as she notices him shake his head no

keegan, odette and coby watched as panic seeped through jared's eyes as keegan's jaw tightened. it seemed as though keegan already figured it out who it was that needed identifying, odette and coby as well.

the four castmates who were best friends leaned against coby's big car, jared's mind starting to wander. he tried to think up of all the people in his wife's team that had him as their emergency contact other than elliot. as he wracked his brain, by the time he fully remembered that he was his own wife's first point of contact, a voice that sounded like the man who rang jared was heard from the front door of the building. this voice had caught the cast's attention.

"...mr padalecki...they're ready for you," the man who had rung jared opened the door, shivers spreading through the body's of jared and his castmates

this threw jared back to the strange phone call from lennon. it truthfully just gave him the creeps and rightfully so.

"we love you jared, it's gonna be okay!" odette spoke softly as she placed her hand on the shoulder of her older best friend

turning around, jared nodded his head before turning back to the examiner and walked into the coroner's office.

only keegan had followed the examiner and jared into the office. odette and coby waiting outside since they didn't want to crowd the office or overwhelm jared. besides, keegan had offered on the ride there since he was jared and lennon's other point of contact after each other. keegan was best friends with lennon so to even think that they were possibly having to identify his best friend's wife's dead body haunted him and they hadn't even been shown the body yet. they hadn't even been escorted into the exam room yet. keegan had been in jared's trailer originally when the first phone call from lennon was given to jared and he was probably feeling that weird feeling again when it hit keegan. why else would they be called to the coroner's office and not the hospital if lennon died in a more natural way like a car collision or stroke? because they wouldn't. if it was a stroke or car collision, the call would have come from the hospital.

this now made keegan nervous and sick to his stomach as they were then brought into the exam room about to identify the body. the medical examiner and elliot...wait, if it wasn't elliot that jared and keegan needed to identify then who was it...

...no...it couldn't be...no, jared was asleep...he was just taking a quick nap before the show... it can't be her...but it was...because next to the medical examiner, standing at the head of the body was elliot, the partner of his wife, lennon.

keegan noticed the tears that elliot had been and was still crying due to the tear marks on his cheeks. it was clear that this was anyone but elliot's fault because he wasn't crying tears of guilt. he was crying tears of losing his best friend who just happened to be his work partner.

it was at this moment that keegan had to bring jared out of his haze. especially since it was clear that if they waited any moment longer, it wouldn't get any easier than it already was to have to identify jared's dead wife. all the examiner needed was a head nod from either jared or keegan for him to shed the sheet that covered lennon. but, it was jared's confirming head nod that the examiner knew for sure that it was time for them to identify the already known body of his wife, the dead texas ranger that had been found.

almost immediately, jared's entire body locked as he fell forward against the pulled out shelving unit that had his dead wife laying on.

once he realised that it wasn't elliot he needed to identify, tears immediately filled his eyes as he tried to memorise every single piece of his wife. it was his wife that he needed to identify for the coroners, not elliot. it didn't take keegan any longer than it took jared to realise who it was they needed to identify. just like jared did when he saw elliot, keegan immediately realised who they had been called in to identify.

without realising he was doing it, keegan started to move his body over to the far wall as he watched his best friend become a widower and single father within minutes. jared had become a widower and single father to aurelia, kai and ethan within ten minutes from the phone call to the drive from the set of their tv show walker to the coroner's office. ten minutes it had taken for jared to lose his whole entire world in the woman that was his wife and the mother to his three kids.

straight away, jared lost his composure. of course he did. how couldn't he? he wept, whimpered and wailed like never heard before as they echoed across the small office to the parking lot where odette and coby could hear it. hearing his wails gave coby and odette all the information they needed to know that it was indeed lennon that was being identified. jared then started to lean against the cold, metal shelving unit to keep himself steady so he wouldn't collapse to his knees.

he just couldn't seem to make sense of this entire situation his head. he couldn't understand as to who would do something like this to his wife, the woman who had just given birth a couple of months ago to their fraternal twins. even then, what did they do to his wife? the examiner didn't even mention it as it had been decided that it would be more efficient to have them identify who it was before revealing the cause of death.

"oh...oh my go...gosh!" jared wailed as he panicked, what had even happened to his wife?

what was she even doing? why didn't she ring him back the second time he had called? he had so many questions going through his mind but not enough clarity to sort through them all. he couldn't focus on anything but the fact that he wasn't going to allow himself to collapse to his knees on that floor.

"i...i got-gotta call my-my family! got to call...oh, aurelia...kai...ethan...our babies!" jared whimpered, sniffling as he found himself falling into hysteria at the fact he was now all on his own

this was the moment it truly, properly hit jared that he had lost the love of his life and that his three kids had lost their mother. and the thing that shattered jared's heart even more was the fact that they had no clue at all. the twins not even old enough to comprehend their mommy not being here anymore and aurelia just getting old enough to truly comprehend the possibility of her mom not being here anymore.

it tore keegan's heart into pieces to hear jared collapsing into hysteria and grief as keegan struggled as if it was himself. lennon had just given birth to kai and ethan and had only just returned back to work with the rangers after maternal leave.

"we...we got to get her out of here, okay?" jared panicked, not willing to accept the news that lennon was dead as keegan could only watch

keegan's own tears unwillingly streaming down his cheeks ever so quietly, jared's wails the only ones heard. his teats streaming quicker remembering that what jared was saying were the exact lines he says in the upcoming episode of walker.

"it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--"

"--doctor, *sniffles*, sir umm how...how did lennon die? what...what happened?" keegan blurts as a way to calm jared down knowing he wouldn't be able to ask himself

this being the moment that odette and coby knew they couldn't wait outside any longer. neither of them caring that they were potentially crowding the small viewing room. they just couldn't stand by any longer, they had to be inside of that viewing room and comforting their distraught best friend.

"now that it has been verified that the body is texas ranger lennon padalecki, i can now confirm that it was a gunshot wound to her abdominal-stomach area in the midsection that was her ultimate cause of death. the rangers are now building a formal investigation as to who lennon's killer was and whether or not there was an ulterior motive. or if, as we suspected originally, it was a wrong place right time situation and didn't realise until it was too late. an investigation into whether or not the texas rangers purposefully put mrs padalecki and elliot in a dangerous position that led to her untimely death is also being formed," the examiner spoke softly with a tilt of professionalism as keegan nodded his head

jared at this point was barely able to move let alone tilt his head in an up or down motion. his gutwrenching wails still being the only other thing heard as his legs slowly started to give way. he was starting to heavily rely on applying pressure to the shelving unit to keep himself upright.

it devastated keegan, odette and coby just as much as it devastated jared that they identified lennon's dead body. all their minds were filled with many questions as to what lennon was even doing that caused her to die from a gunshot wound and being so far away from elliot who was completely free from physical harm.

how on god's green earth did she get shot? was she doing something suspicious or that seemed suspicious to the person or people that shot her? was she aware that she was maybe accidentally walking through territory that wasn't her jurisdiction? or was she like the examiner mentioned, in the right place at the wrong time?

but then, a completely different thought went through all of their minds. did the rangers do this on purporse? purposefully send out one of their rangers who had just returned from maternity leave and just hope with the pure negligence that she'd come back home safely?

or was this situation like what lennon would show jared in a crime show when they first started dating and lennon tried to explain to jared what her job was...even though he didn't need it to be explained since he definitely had heard of chuck norris' original version of walker, texas ranger before he'd ever end up playing the said title character in a reboot many years later.

were the people who shot lennon worried that because she was a uniformed texas ranger but had her personal phone with her, not her professional work phone that she was going to rat them out to elliot and the other on-shift rangers? so many questions yet it seemed as though they were no possible answers to fill the void that jared no longer had his wife by his side anymore. his children, aurelia, kai and ethan no longer had their mom there to watch them grow up or be there for them when they needed her help when it was something dad couldn't fix.

this whole time of silence, jared hadn't stopped wailing. it was still loud and just as agonising as before. of course it was, it was a dagger to the hearts of the examiner and his castmates to hear the greivous wails. it seemed as if despite the amount of tears he was producing, he wasn't ever going to run out. it actually shocked everyone that he was still standing, though it was with the help of the shelving unit that was cold as ice with some of it covered with puddles of dried-up blood that he was leaning on. because, truthfully, they all thought that jared would have immediately collapsed to his knees. however, they quickly realised that jared still wanted to have some control over himself and his body if he couldn't control the wails that shook his entire body.

present time 

a little under four months later and the families of lennon were having the righteous funeral for their texas ranger. the reason for the four-month long wait was due to the double investigations that had taken place to figure out who had done it and whether or not the texas rangers were responsible for the death of one of their rangers. finally though, with the long and tiring court process finished, thankfully in favour of the family, lennon's murderer getting the maximum penalty which was life without parole. going back to the investigation regarding the ranger's part of this homicide, they were put under a little bit of fire for their negligence for one of their rangers. but most especially for the fact that it wasn't just any regular ranger but one that had just returned from maternity leave.

however, that specific court case was ultimately acquitted because it turned out that the commanding officer that put lennon, elliot and the rest of that ranger task force on that case was genuinely told incorrect information. the information that they were just supposed to be giving out water to the other texas rangers, not actually informing them of the dangers of the case that the other task force was handling. it was someone else within the rangers, in a higher position in the ranks that was sentenced and found guilty of negligence, not lennon's captain.

but, once that was done and all the stress from that was over, that was when they could finally organize the funerals. and yes, there was two funerals. the first one was a state texas rangers funeral because of the fact that lennon was a ranger within the texas rangers and she was on active duty when she got killed. and the second one was the one that had just finished. the first one was planned by the texas rangers and the second one was planned by the two families, the padalecki's and the castellano's, the families of jared and lennon.

at both funerals, jared gave a eulogy for his wife and they were both heartbreaking and beautiful. mentioning that he had been in love with lennon since they were twelve. also mentioning that whilst he was terrified of being a single father to aurelia, kai and ethan, he was confident in knowing that he had the support from not only his and lennon's family, his walker family but also the family of lennon's rangers team. this was when mentioned in elliot's eulogy that was said straight after jared's at the state funeral and reiterated again at the private funeral that had just ended.

due to being an actor and currently starring in a show about being a texas ranger, this experience and heartache was then turned into the newly reworked scene of cordell going through the same thing that jared went through in real life. because of this, he went as far as to ask if he could refilm the opening scene of "rule number 17" which has the opening scene of cordell seeing his wife's dead body at the coroner's office. exactly how he had to see his real-life texas ranger wife, lennon. of course, everyone on set was hesitant but, they all knew to not argue with the executive producer which also happened to be jared himself.

so, whilst it was a heartbreaking scene to refilm for everyone om the set, it was a scene that didn't take too long and wasn't too hard to get into the headspace of to film in one clean take.

during the service, jared just wished he was somewhere completely different. course he did, why would he purposefully choose to be in a funeral home when he could be on set filming walker where his real-life and pretend tv life didn't merge into one. but, he couldn't do that. he couldn't run away. not from his kids after they had just experienced the loss of their mom. he knew he couldn't hide away from the truth of his wife's loss. he knew he couldn't run away from his kids to hide his cries so, he didn't. he sat up at the front of the church, aurelia sitting next to him with kai asleep in her arms and ethan asleep in his arms as he wept as he farewelled his wife and the mother to his kids.

✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧✧ ೃ༄ ｡･:*˚:✧

sitting in silence, the padalecki, castellano and families of the walker members just twiddled their thumbs trying to distract themselves in any other way that wasn't twiddling their thumbs. the silence was then broken by aurelia padalecki, jared and lennon's eldest daughter. the girl speaking up as she took notice of the way everyone made eye contact with her.

"...mom would totally be saying a joke right now because she hates awkward silences," she spoke bluntly, trying to keep her voice airy, everyone looking at the girl to continue

"umm, okay, yeah, joke sorry...what did the ghost say to the bee?" she almost smirked as she regained her composure, everyone shrugging their shoulders not knowing the punchline

"boo, bee," she struggled to keep her laughter in which made jared, her dad, who was still in tatters tearfully giggle

"what...what's brown and sticky?" violet, jared's tv daughter spoke up with a small giggle as immediatey, jared's real-life daughter aurelia rolled her eyes at her tv sister's dad joke

"a stick," the "sisters" said at the same exact time, violet giggling softly whilst aurelia was monotone, a joking roll of her eyes, her smile sad and small

"what kind of music do chiropracters like? hip pop" jared spoke up tearfully with a chuckle as the room filled with giggles

not all the giggles were identical. some were tearful, others wholehearted, a couple were nervously laughing but it didn't matter. all that mattered was there was still laughter filling up the room which was a good step in all of their grieving processes.

"that was awful, dad. mom would not have been impressed by that at all," aurelia whispered, glad that her dad was here with her and her brothers again

for context, the castellano's had been taking care of aurelia, kai and ethan during the four months during the double investigations and court proceedings.

speaking of the kids, aurelia noticed the way her dad's face changed. it was like a switch had been flicked and he was suddenly teary. it was clear that to aurelia, her dad had become overwhelmed with everything going on around him. especially with this being the second funeral for his wife and mother of his three kids, aurelia being one of them.

"dad, are you okay?" aurelia decided to ask, jared pulled out of his stupor and nodded his head

"uh...yeah, i'm-i'm fine! i just need some fresh air, alright baby?" jared stammered out as aurelia nodded her head

"yeah, sure daddy, that's fine," aurelia's tone of voice was filled with worry, there was clearly something wrong with her dad but she didn't know what

as jared stumbled out of the gathering room everyone was in, it felt as though he could finally get a breath of air into his lungs. for a while, it felt serene for jared in the fields of the funeral home. until jared felt a breeze passing against his cheek and what sounded like little bells in his ears.

turning around, he heard what he thought was a female voice, " you can't walk out on them like that..." and it was a female voice but it just wasn't any female voice

it was lennon's voice. and jared thought he was going crazy and he probably was as he furiously looked behind him just in case he had been followed. when he saw no one was behind him, he spoke up.

"...i...i don't want them seeing me like this," jared sniffled as lennon's ghost softened from her stern facial features from before

"well they're in pain too, and the only way through it is with them," lennon begged as jared wept, turning his head to the side

"this wasn't part of the plan, you...you weren't supposed to die," jared's voice shook from his cries

"it happened and the only thing that matters now is helping our kids. i need you to promise me that you're gonna be there for them," lennon's voice was exasperated as jared still found it difficult to keep eye contact with the ghost of his wife

"i don't know how. lennon, i don't know what to do," jared sniffled, if anything, he didn't know how to take care of the twins, he was perfectly capable of taking care of aurelia and lennon knew that

"do your best," lennon spoke for one last time before fading away

but, because jared looked away, he didn't see her disappear until he looked back over at the spot where her ghost was. it threw him off slightly at what he just saw and heard. now this was really creepy because this is the exact same thing that happens in "rule number 17" in walker. the fact the ghost of his wife had returned, telling him off for running out on his family but then soothing him and comforting him was a solace for jared.

by the time jared had started his journey back into the funeral home, he could hear footsteps. it was clear that just like him, this moment was very overwhelming someone else. it wasn't until he noticed the striking brown hair that he realised it was his daughter, aurelia. it was clear that her brothers were being taken care of, either by one of the walker guys or one of the castellano's which gave her the opportunity to run away outside.

as she ran outside, it was then that aurelia felt as though she could finally let go and just cry. her cries were almost as loud as her dad's were when he had to identify lennon's body at the examiner's office. wrapping her arms around herself as a form of self-protection, she had no idea that jared had found her. and it was due to her own cries sounding in her ears that she hadn't realised her dad had come to look for her let alone find her, though accidentally. she thought she was slicker than a buttered otter since her dad was already outside and it seemed as though everyone else was preoccupied with the twins. however, apparently, aurelia cannot be secretive and slick around her dad as much as she likes to think she is.

aurelia was about to turn around from her little breakdown to go back inside, only to look up and match the tearful eyes of her dad.

no words were even needed to let jared know that his daughter really wasn't as okay as she had made everyone believe she was. it was clear to jared at this point that in aurelia's world, it felt as though everything was crashing around and on top of her all at once and today was her breaking point. she couldn't keep it in any longer but she didn't want to be in the presence of her family. just like her dad, but especially didn't want to have her breakdown in front of her dad because of how painful it would be for him to witness it. so, in aurelia's mind, the only smart option to her was to cry alone where no one could see or hear her.

"aurelia?" jared only whispered before his daughter broke again, falling into her dad's frame as he immediately pulled his daughter into his arms

"i...i can't...it...it hurts so much dad...why did mom die?" aurelia panicked, the same way which jared himself panicked that day four months ago in the examiner's office whilst aurelia and the twins were non the wiser

"i know it hurts ellie. it hurts like hell and truthfully it'll feel like that for a while, that was your mom, i'm never going to lie to you. and, she...she died because it was a situation of right place at the wrong time. she had veered away from uncle elliot and she got caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone wrong. the drug dealers at the field where elliot found her mom had noticed she was walking towards them. your mom, obviously oblivious to what was going on in front of her because she thought she'd be meeting up with the other group of rangers, when they saw her uniform and the phone in her hand, they thought she was going to rat them out to her fellow rangers and possibly me. not like i'd be able to do anything but, they thought that because of the phone in her hand, that they'd get caught. and, because of that, they thought the best way to stop that possible scenario from happening was to essentially eliminate her so, that...that's what they did," jared's voice shook towards the end, that had been the first time in months that he had explained to his daughter how her mom had died

"why are we so unlucky?" aurelia whimpered as she hugged her dad tight and he scoffed, sniffing as a tear of his hit aurelia's cheek

"i'm not so sure love but, i think this is where our luck turns around," jared muttered, only hoping that he didn't just straight up lie to himself or his daughter

"how are you so sure?" aurelia whimpered again as she took a deep breath in, jared doing the same before making eye contact with his daughter

"because darling, the shooter, whilst showing utter remorse and guilt for the murder of your mommy, is in jail for as long as he shall live as is the person high up in the rangers for even instructing mommy's captain to give her and elliot that task. even though we did forgive them both, they are both still responsible and still took away the life of an innocent texas ranger who was just doing what she was simply told to do. but, ellie, just know that i'm not going anywhere and i'm always going to protect you and the twins. even if i end up say, falling in love with someone else, you and the twins will always be an important piece of me as will mom's family and they will always be loved by me and i'll always call them my family, you understand ellie?" jared was stern with his daughter in the knowledge that even though he may fall in love with another girl after the loss of his first wife, that the family of his first wife will never be forgotten as his first

and that was something that aurelia was pleased to hear as well as something that the rest of the castellano family would appreciate. because no matter what, jared will always be their brother and son-in-law and the aunty's, uncle's and grandparents to his kids. and that was because they needed it right now during this time of grieving, it was needed more than ever.

"i understand daddy. i'm glad that mommy's family will still stay ours no matter what happens even without mom with us," aurelia whispered as jared clenched his jaw as he held his daughter tightly

then the father and daughter both broke down into tears as they stood in the wooded area for what felt like an eternity. when in reality, it was almost an hour before kale and violet, alongside kai and ethan, had come out to look for their "sister" and "dad". only to find the two of them still crying their eyes out as the six of them embraced. kale giving jared kai whilst violet held onto ethan. the second they got into the group hug, it seemed as though the tears didn't stop as jared held his twin boys tight after violet carefully gave him ethan.

the four remaining padalecki's cried over their mom and wife, kale and violet over their "tv mom" and over the fact that they'd never see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her sing in the kitchen or play with their dogs arlo, koda and bridger. they cried over the fact that dad jared was a lot more vulnerable without mom than when she was alive. and they cried over the fact that kai and ethan would have to grow up without their mom and have little to no memories of her and only very few photos of the five of them as a family. whilst aurelia had also lost her mom too, it was obvious to her and everyone else that most of those tears were for the twins since aurelia had sixteen years whereas the twins only had months. this meant that when jared cries over lennon, the twins won't be able to understand why since they're still babies and won't really be able to comfort their dad or understand why they are. they also cried over the fact that the only things they have left of their mom and wife are the videos and photos of memories that were gonna spare a lifetime but were still not enough in the means of never getting new videos and photos of her with her children and husband.

"dad?" aurelia speaks up, her voice raw and scratchy from her crying

"yeah, ellie?" jared speaks up as well, his voice also hoarse from the tears, his arms tight around his little kai

"are you okay to go back to work, to walker?" aurelia's soft words brought comfort to jared that had never happened before as he found himself slightly smiling at his daughter's question

"yeah, i am darlin'. it's been four months, your walker family need me back for filming and things. if you wish and want to, i'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if i could bring you and the boys with me if that's what worries you," jared smiled softly as his daughter smiles and the faces of his tv children, kale and violet light up as if all their previous grief slipped away

ethan getting handed over to jared so he could cuddle both of his boys at the same time was soothing jared as well as it was soothing kai and ethan. because aurelia was so caught up in getting hugged by her dad and brothers, violet spoke up.

"that sounds perfect, jared. you were already an amazing father to aurelia and the twins but you'll be an even better father to them with the assistance of us, the walker family," violet smiled as did kale, nodding their heads in agreement as jared smiled back

"thank you violet and kale, that means a lot," jared smiled, trying to escape aurelia's grasp so he could hug violet and kale as he hugged the twins close, taking a deep breath

during this entire conversation, the family had been walking back to the funeral home that they had left hours earlier. sitting down on the steps as they faced each other again and smiled at one another.

"you guys ready to face everyone again, you as well aurelia?" jared questions his children, real life and tv as they stay close to one another

violet holding the hand that aurelia wasn't holding of her dad's as she and kale smile down to the ground. they knew there was going to be a lot more tears but that they were hopefully going to be less intrusive.

"i mean, the world continues to turn, right?" aurelia chimes in as jared smiles at his daughter and nods his head

the father and daughter made eye contact with violet and kale before taking a quick glance at the now-sleeping twins before they decided to head back inside.

"you are correct ellie, the world does continue to turn," jared smiled making his daughter laugh as they walked back inside with kale

violet however, stalked back but not too far behind as coby, another one of the walker family stood waiting for them.

"you alright darling?" coby whispered as he held his fellow costar violet tight as she smiled, nodding her head into her costars chest, kale getting a hug from molly

"uh-huh, more than alright coby," she whispered back as coby smiled, closing his eyes tightly

"that's good darlin', but, maybe give jared another hug? he's not as strong as he thinks he is. he's struggling without lennon's help with aurelia and the twins. he's scared, vi. he needs to know the castellano's will still be there even if he does end up with someone else," coby whispered as violet nodded her head and walked back over to her tv dad

catching him off-gaurd since aurelia had since left to hang out with uncle keegan and kale, he was thankful he was now only holding one twin, kai. jared's tears seemed to begin again when violet pulled him in for another hug. this broke violet's heart all over again as jared closed his eyes. only wishing for this whole scenario to just be a really bad dream and that he'd be walking back onto the walker set and his wife was still alive.

"you sure you're okay, jared?" violet whispered softly, asking her tv dad again who cried softly, hugging his son kai closer, the other grip on violet

"in time," jared sniffled quietly, letting violet understand that he was admitting he was terrified as violet nodded her head in agreement

"in time," violet repeated because it was true

- - - 

so, i did say this was gonna be depressing so, i do like how this turned out like, still, that opening scene for that episode of walker, hurts like a fucking bitch like, why would you do that to us jared? why would you start an episode of walker like that?! especially when it's your real-life wife as your tv wife like dood! please pay for my therapy thank you, it's only fair (also, just in case no one took the hint, that last sentence was pure sarcasm as i actually do go to therapy and it is not paid by jared padalecki but by australian healthcare and my mum!)

ily xx

word count; 5377

[ao3feed-ncislosangeles]

Rule 44

by BrattyPaganSub Steve while at a wedding with the crew receives an alarming text ‘rule 44’ something is seriously wrong. Words: 2006, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Call of Duty (Video Games), Hawaii Five-0 (2010), NCIS: Los Angeles, NCIS: New Orleans, NCIS (TV 2003), Criminal Minds (US TV), Walker Texas Ranger (TV 1993) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Steve McGarrett, Danny "Danno" Williams, Penelope Garcia, John "Soap" MacTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley, Lou Grover, Cordell Walker, Tani Rey, Dwayne "King" Pride, Jethro Gibbs Relationships: John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley/Original Male Character(s), Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams Additional Tags: POV Steve McGarrett, Action/Adventure, Established Relationship, Cordell Walker has a son, Protective Steve McGarrett, Protective Simon "Ghost" Riley, Simon "Ghost" Riley Needs a Hug, Rule 44, Gibbs rules, One Shot, Multiple Crossovers, hurt Lucas Cordell, Non fatal gun shot, Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, kidnapped character, Eventual Happy Ending, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I Tried, this was interesting to write, Multiple Relationships, warnings, Angst, I don’t expect this to do well, Established Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams, Some Romance, Penelope Garcia saves the day, The Author Regrets Nothing, how do I even tag this, I Don't Even Know via https://ift.tt/n2Egi6s

[hexedwinchester]

What's your favorite Walker episode?

Hi @wantedman123

Thanks for sending a Walker ask, it's a first for me! :)

Good question. I think unlike SPN, picking one episode for Walker is tough because the main story arc continues throughout the season. But I do have a few favorite episode which i enjoy watching.

S01E05 Duke: This was an interesting one tbh and i still mourn Duke's death. Duke as an undercover was such a wonderful alias, it would have been fun to explore this alter ego for Cordi. He is aloof from his family, hates being Duke but at the same time, Duke gives him the freedom to be reckless, to fall in love in again. That episode added a different complexity to Cordell's character. And the tension between Twyla and Duke was really good!

S03E01 World on a String: I am sorry, the episode starts with major whump! what's not to like? I loved how Emily acts as the defensive part of Cordell's mind. She helps him through it. The origami with knots as a Morse code was a nice touch. Cordell's awareness in the first few minutes even though he is blinded folded was good too. I loved how strong Cordi is shown during the interrogation because of his military training as opposed to Liam. I have seen Jared portray himself small and tiny during Sam whump but to see him headstrong was really amazing!

S04E11 Let's Go, Let's Go: This was a masterpiece all around whether it was writing, direction or acting. Everyone did an amazing job. Throughout the episode i was so confused but it all made sense in the end. I loved how they shot the whole episode, the amazing touches to show what the event actually portrayed! brilliant episode

Thanks again for this amazing ask! What about you? what's your favorite Walker episode?

[daddycest-hub]

Being a ghost wasn't all that bad. Sure, it sucked being dead but Y/N didn't regret overdoing at that orgy when it gave him a heart attack and he had no real reason to start doing so now. Being a ghost gave him a surprsing number of opportunities to act out all his most perverted desires. It's not like anyone could see him or try to stop him.

He loved doing it with the Walker family especially.

Every single one of them was sexy from head to toe. He couldn't help but touch.

--------

Stella was doing her homework. It was late and she was locked in her room so she wasn't wearing a bra and her saddlebag tits hung low, almost touching the desk she was hunched over.

Y/N, in all his naked perverted glory, materialized behind her and licked his lips. She was wearing just a baggy shirt and underwear; there was so much to touch.

He started with her breasts. They were so soft and big and sensitive. He wanted to milk them dry, but he would settle for ghostly groping. He squeezed and bounced her tits in his hands while she looked around, confused about what she was feeling. He moved all over her body, from her silky hair to her delicate feet, saving the best for last.

He got under her desk and pulled side her panties so he could touch her glistening pussy. He stroked her wet folds, flicked her sensitive clit, and plunged his fingers deep into her hungry cunt. He stroked his cock while he did so, wishing he could fuck her properly. For now, he would settle for making her cum on his fingers while he splashed his invisible seed on her floor.

He groaned and licked up her juices when he was done, reveling in the taste of her.

---------

Emily was alone in the kitchen while she made popcorn for movie night with her husband. Just watching her move around the kitchen was hot, her tight shirt showing off her saddlebag tits and perky ass. He was gonna get a show watching her husband fuck her into the mattress later but Y/N wanted in on the fun too. He jerked himself off, watching her move around the kitchen and fantasizing she was his wife. He climaxed just in time to spill his seed all over the popcorn.

He watched from the sidelines, smirking as he watched them eat their popcorn and unknowingly ingesting his cum. He waited until Cordell was more invested in the movie than their date before he struck.

"Wish you could swallow my cum for real? I bet you do?" Y/N muttered as he passed his cock over Emily's lips. He would've done that for the rest of the night and blow his load all over her face but he had a great view of her tits from here and...well, he couldn't resist.

"Bet I can fuck you and he won't even notice."

He sat on her lap, putting his dick in just the right spot, and slid his hard cock right between her tits. He squeezed the saddlebags together, mimicking the warmth of her pussy, and fucked her tits while the movie played in the background, her husband none the wiser.

He fucked her like that until he came on her tits. "Told you he wouldn't notice," he said before vanishing again.

---------

Cordell Walker was a man's man, a paragon of the male physique. Y/N was quite jealous, but he didn't mind. Bigger men were fun to put in their place.

He followed Cordell into the shower and waited until his guard was down to touch his ass. He spread those firm cheeks and got a look at that tight hole. Then, he leaned in and licked it. Once. Twice. Thrice. And one more for good luck. He smirked as Cordell squirmed under him and then he slid a finger in.

He slowly worked Cordell open with his fingers and tongue, watching with perverted glee as the ranger's cock grew harder and harder. By the time Y/N was able to get his cock in, Cordell was ready to blow his load. Y/N angled his thrusts perfectly to hit Cordell's prostate and bring him the most pleasure possible. He grunted as he shot his load into Cordell and smirked watching it drip out of him. "I'll bring a plug next time," he promised.

----------

Liam was pretty. He was also very pliant when he was sleepy.

Y/N waited until Liam finished his nighttime routine before pouncing. Liam's cock was a treasure, truly. And no one appreciated it like Y/N.

He took Liam's cock in his hand and started stroking slowly. After a bit, he started fondling Liam's balls, cupping them in his hand and rolling them between his fingers. He watched as Liam shifted but didn't try to run away from his minstrations. "Beautiful," he murmured, watching Liam's face scrunch up in pleasure.

He made Liam cum all over his hands. He licked up the salty treat before turning his attention to his own pleasure and jerking off over Liam's face as he fell asleep.

---------

August was the only virgin in the bunch and Y/N wanted to keep it that way for a while longer. But, there were some things he couldn't resist.

Having naive little Augie alone and all to himself was a dream come true. Once that door was locked, Y/N wasted no time making his move.

Getting August in bed and opening up for him was childs' play. The boy was made to suck cock, what with those pretty lips and that long throat. He just didn't know it yet. But That was okay. Y/N could teach him.

He pushed his way into August's warm, waiting mouth and groaned from pleasure. Dear Augie didn't fight him as Y/N gripped his hair and fucked his face. "Such a good boy...fucking made for my cock...."

He shot his load down August's throat; shooting it all over his face would've been nice but Y/N was too enraptured with his mouth to take a step back and do so. But that was okay; there was always next time.

[j2memories]

Variety article (January 15th 2021)

Jared Padalecki on the Defining Deaths of ‘Supernatural’ and ‘Walker’

Jan 15, 2021 9:45am PT

By Danielle Turchiano

Two very important deaths book-ended Sam Winchester’s journey on the CW’s “Supernatural,” and now one equally emotional loss will set up actor Jared Padalecki‘s new on-screen journey on the same network’s “Walker.”

The long-running demon-hunting drama, “Supernatural,” which came to an end after 15 seasons in November 2020, started with Padalecki’s Sam getting sucked back into the “family business” of “saving people and hunting things” after his college girlfriend Jess (Adrianne Palicki) was killed in the same way as his mother was when he was just an infant. He was a character who grew up on the road with his big brother Dean (Jensen Ackles) while their father searched for the thing that killed their mother, but when he got old enough to choose for himself, he wanted to go to college and try to have a normal life.

A decade and a half later, after taking on Lucifer (Mark Pellegrino), Archangels and even God himself (Rob Benedict), as well as one failed attempt at a normal life when Dean was sent to Purgatory, Sam lost his brother during a routine hunt in a vampire nest. Although he kept the family business going a little while longer, he ultimately did get to have some semblance of a normal life, including having a son.

“It was a success story — it was Dean’s success story,” Padalecki reflects on the “Supernatural” series finale. “This guy gave his life for years and years and years and ultimately gave his life to have his No. 1 on the planet live as normal a life as possible.”

Shot amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the “Supernatural” season finale was not a parade of beloved guest stars getting one last good-bye, but instead focused on the Winchester brothers who started it all (with one very special appearance by Jim Beaver). Padalecki confirms for Variety that there was no version he had read that revealed who Sam’s wife was in those flashes through his later years. In the episode, she is seen out of focus, from a long distance.

“I think it was very, very purposely ambiguous and strangely I agreed with that,” he says. “I feel like a lot of what Sam did after Dean died was almost in honor of what Dean would have wanted, and Dean would not have wanted his little brother to marry Eileen, Ruby, someone in the life.”

Padalecki and Ackles shot Dean’s death scene and Sam’s goodbye to him on Sept. 4, 2020. “That day sucked,” Padalecki says. “It was all day, just watching Dean die. Going through that was really awful.” Less than a week later duo was shot reuniting in heaven, on what was their final day — and the final shot — for the series overall. Five weeks after that, Padalecki truly set Sam aside to step into his new role as Cordell Walker, the titular Texas Ranger who is mourning the death of his wife (played by his real-life wife Genevieve Padalecki) on the reimagining of “Walker, Texas Ranger” that is simply titled “Walker.”

The Padalecki spouses met and fell in love on the set of “Supernatural” in 2008, and her character was killed off (by Ackles’ Dean) just a year later. So to some degree, Padalecki is “used to Gen dying on-camera,” he says with a little laugh. But now that they have been married for more than a decade and have three kids together — not to mention the fact that her character on “Walker” is a loving wife and mother, not a demon as on “Supernatural” — it hits him a little bit differently.

“We will shoot scenes where it takes place in the present sense [and] Gen’s character Emily is there in my head, and that’s pretty sad,” Padalecki shares. “There was a scene the other day that I can’t really talk about involving her character’s story that I had a tough time getting rid of the scene, so to speak. I didn’t know how it would affect me, but I went for it and they called, ‘Cut!’ and I couldn’t get rid of it. So you go for a drive and do what you can.”

In addition to Emily appearing to Walker in present-day, the show will also feature a number of flashbacks to their life together before she passed away in the story. Those often consist of the on-screen husband and wife talking about “appreciating the kids, appreciating our lives, our jobs,” Padalecki previews. “It’s kind of a constant reminder and it’s good and it’s been a wake-up call. Frankly what’s great is that when she and I film together we can get a babysitter and hang out for an hour in a trailer and just talk like two people who are in love, not like two parents who are scrambling to take care of the kids.”

Because Walker is in such deep grief when the audience meets him, Padalecki says that his challenge in the first season is to just keep it all together and try to balance being a good law enforcement official with being a good father.

“If he was on a boat that went down, he’s still trying to figure out how to stay above water; he’s not even looking for the horizon yet. It’s, ‘How do I fucking stay alive? My wife is gone, she did everything. I’m passionate about my job and making the world safer, but I can’t do that and be a dad. I may get in trouble with my job if I fail but I may fail my kids.’ He’s just trying to tread water,” Padalecki says.

Therefore, “it’s not about romantically moving on, but it’s also not really about trying to figure out how to move on” at all, he continues.

Regardless of how long a run “Walker” ends up getting to have, Padalecki says the central component of the show will always be Walker “not as a Texas Ranger who happens to have a family man, but a family man who happens to be a Texas Ranger.”

But, to be clear, even after jumping from one 15-year run on a broadcast drama straight into another broadcast drama, Padalecki says he hopes “‘Walker’ goes longer than ‘Supernatural.'”

“I get to wake up in my house with my wife and kids everyday and go to bed in the same house; I have a vote on where the story heads, so that makes me feel a little bit safer; the crew’s amazing; I love this city [Austin, Texas] and I have for years; I love the story we’re telling,” he explains.

During those 15 years on “Supernatural,” its fandom, he says, helped him realize “we can make a connection with other human beings in the real world by telling a story on television about random strange things as long as the underlying heart is there.” And that is what he hopes to continue for as long as he can.

“Walker” premieres Jan. 21 at 8 p.m. on the CW.

Link to the article

[let-me-luve-you]

Buckin' Bull

Box filled for @walker-bingo: Bull Riding

Pairing: Bull Rider!Cordell x Reader

Summary: Trying to punch his ticket into the finals at Vegas, Cordell goes on the ride of his life.

Warnings: Bull Riding Injury, medical talk such as surgery, angst, fear, unplanned pregnancy,

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: This story took a ride. I was expecting to maybe write a thousand words, but then one thing led to another and bam, 4k words later, it’s here. This is also my first writing in about a year so please be kind. I also apologize if I missed any warnings. If there is something you see that should be a warning, please let me know so I can fix that.

Masterlist

Walker Bingo Masterlist

Buy Me a Coffee

The arena was lit with bright lights. The seats were filled and the people were loud. You stood on the fencing on the far end of the dirt gated arena waiting for one name to be called. Geri walked up and put a beer in front of your face.

“Drink it. I can feel the anxiousness from the concession stand.” Geri said with a laugh. You grabbed the beer and took a huge drink.

“Thanks.” You said before looking back at the bull trying to buck off his rider. “You know how I get before Cordi rides. And with this being the ride that could send him to Vegas, I’m just extra nervous.”

“He’ll be okay. He’s been preparing for this moment his whole life.” Geri tried to soothe. You gave her a skeptical look and then forced a smile. She took that to you agreeing and looked back as they tried to get the bull out of the arena.

“Next up, we have a local that goes by the name Cordell Walker! Walker was born and raised here in Austin. Let’s make sure we give him a warm welcome as he takes on Shooter!” The announcer yells into his microphone. You slowly start bouncing on the balls on your heels with nerves. Geri side-eyes you to make sure you’re okay.

“Come on Cordi.” You whispered to yourself. Liam reached over and squeezed your shoulder in support. You slightly jumped forgetting that the entire Walker family was standing next to you on your left. You gave him a small smile as thanks. With Liam being your best friend before you even started dating Cordell, he knew your concerns every time Cordell jumped on the back of the bull.

You looked at shoot number 4 and could make out Cordell and his team making sure everything was set before they let the bull loose. Right before they opened the gate the bull started to kick. You watched as Cordell jumped up on the side as they calmed the bull. You saw Cordell look up and over to where you were standing. You couldn’t see it but you knew he was smiling at you. His way of comforting you without being with you at that moment.

Cordell slowly lowered himself back on the bull. He gave a nod and they pulled the gate open. You were always amazed at the way Cordell rode. It was like the two were dancing the tango. No matter how amazed you were, it didn’t stop any of the worries. Even though you have watched countless events, it never stopped all of the negative outcomes that popped into your head.

Eight seconds. That’s all it was. But it was the longest eight seconds of your life. You gripped the bar in front of you and watched on while never blinking. Holding your breath until you saw that Cordi was safe.

“Come on Cordi!” You heard Abeline yell.

“4….5….6….7 and…8! WOOOO CORDELL!” You heard Bonham yell in excitement.

That excitement was short-lived as the horn went off to signify the eight seconds but when Cordell went to jump off, the bull bucked one last time and threw Cordell five feet away. Then Shooter the bull charged at him and got one more hit that threw Cordell another two feet before he trotted through the open gate.

“CORDELL!” You cried as you started climbing the fencing. Liam was trying to grab you but you were too quick for him. You ran across the arena to Cordell, just as the medical team did.

“M’am you need to stay back.” One said trying to keep you away from your boyfriend.

“No! I need to see him!” You fought against his hold as tears ran down your face. Bonham ran up next to you and explained that you were the young man’s girlfriend.

“I get that, but she can’t see him right now.” He turned to look you in the eyes. “Let them do their job. You can stand closer, but you can’t be in their way.”

You nodded at the man that was holding you back. He led you a few feet from Cordell and stayed beside you to make sure you wouldn’t get in the doctor's way. As one person moved, you could see Cordell’s face. It had blood on it coming from somewhere in his hairline. You cried harder as Bonham held you up.

“Where’s that ambulance?” One young woman yelled. You turned to the entrance and saw an ambulance driving over. They stopped and one person got out to get the backboard and stretcher. “He needs to be seen immediately. He’s unresponsive.”

Hearing that made you cry harder as you watched them put a neck brace on your boyfriend and get him on the backboard. Once he was secured onto the backboard, they transferred him to the stretcher and started pushing him towards the ambulance. You looked over at Bonham helplessly.

“Can she ride with him?” Bonham asked the guy that had been holding you back. You saw him look towards the EMTs. He nodded and Bonham turned you towards him. “You ride with him. We will follow. Stay with him as long as they let you, okay? He needs you.”

You cried some more but nodded and ran off to the ambulance. They helped you in and you looked at Bonham one last time before the doors were shut and you were racing off towards the nearest emergency department.

You looked over at Cordell as two EMTs worked and did everything they could to help him. You grabbed his hand and looked at his closed eyes. “It’ll be okay Cordi. I’m here. I’m here. It’ll be okay.” You said to him, hoping he could hear you. “I love you. We’ll get through this. You’ll be okay.”

When you arrived at the hospital, they rushed Cordell into a room. You followed but stayed in the corner so the doctors and nurses could work. You didn’t understand anything they were saying when it came to running the test. They chattered some more and then you heard Bonham ask where his son was. You stepped out of the room to get him when Liam noticed you and got his family’s attention.

The Walker family and Geri all stepped into the room when the doctors looked at each other with worry.

“Call up to the OR. He needs surgery to release the pressure on his brain.” One said. This made you gasp. “Excuse us. Nurse Mayfield will show you to the waiting room near the Operating Room. When we have news, we will let you know.”

Liam wrapped his arm around your shoulders and guided you along with the rest of the gang. After the elevator ride and short walk to the waiting room, Liam guided you to sit next to him. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you to his chest as you cried once again for the love of your life.

“He’ll be okay y/n/n. They’ll help him. If anyone can overcome this, it’ll be him. He’s too stubborn to leave you alone.” Liam said, trying to lighten the mood. It worked as you gave a soft laugh. “Do you want a drink or a snack?”

“Water would be great.” You said softly pulling away so he could stand up. “Thank you, Liam.”

He nodded and went to the rest of the family to ask if they needed anything. You watched as Bonham and Abeline were comforting each other. Geri followed Liam to help with drinks and snacks and now that left you with your own thoughts.

You thought about all the times you had with Cordell. From your first date when you were freshmen in high school to the night you both lost your virginities the night of graduation to sitting in his truck a few nights ago discussing the future you saw with each other. As those memories passed through your brain at lightning speed, it became hard to breathe.

“I need some air.” You said as you stood up abruptly. Almost running to the elevator, you impatiently waited for it to get to the ground floor. You quickly looked for an outlet and found one that led to a small garden. Sitting down at the first bench you saw, you finally were able to grasp a full breath. You looked around at the beautiful flowers and smiled for the first time in a while. You looked up at the night sky and looked for the stars but sadly they were hard to see.

“Y/N.” You heard a soft voice say. You looked down at the way you came out and saw Abeline. “Are you okay? I know this is probably hard for you.”

“It is. I bet it’s harder for you.” You said as Abeline wrapped an arm around you.

“It is. I never want to see my boys hurt. I’d gladly take their pain if it meant they never felt it. But that doesn’t mean yours doesn’t matter or is less than mine.” She said as she kissed your temple. “He’ll be okay. I just know it.”

“He has to be. I need him.” You said as you put your hand absentmindedly on your stomach. Abeline noticed but didn’t push you to tell her anything, but she just needed to know one thing.

“You haven’t told Cordell yet have you?” You looked at her shocked. “I’m not going to ask or make you talk about it now, but does he know?” She asked gently. You shook your head and she sighed. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. You were terrified that she was mad at you.

“Don’t be. I’m excited, but you tell him first. Talk with him. And when you are ready, you can come talk to me. Whether that be before or after everyone knows. All I ask is that you talk to him.” You smiled and nodded at her. “Now. Let’s go back inside. Maybe the doctor has some news for us.”

The walk back to the waiting room didn’t take as long as the walk outside. You saw a lot of the bull riders filling up the room. Hoyt, a guy that befriended Cordell on his first ride in the circuit, walked up to you. You gave a small smile and accepted his hug.

“How you holdin’ up darlin’?” He asked softly.

“I’ve been better. Will be a lot better when I know what's going on.” You said looking towards the door, hoping a doctor would walk in. “He’s a fighter. He’ll be okay and back on a bull soon.” He said, trying to be hopeful. The thought of Cordell getting back on a bull made you sick.

“I hope so.” You said monotone.

“Cordell is going to fight to get better for you. He is hopelessly in love with you.” He said, grabbing your chin. “I was in the shoot with him. I saw the way he looked at you from across the arena. I heard him whisper ‘I love you’ so just know that he will fight to get back to you.”

You nodded and smiled at him before going to sit between Geri and Liam. As you laid your head on Geri’s shoulder, a doctor walked in.

“Mr. and Mrs. Walker, may I have a word please?” The doctor asked. They nodded and went to the hallway. You watched on, thinking the worst. Liam squeezed your shoulder as he watched on as well. You saw Bonham give a small smile to the doctor. He turned and made eye contact with you and gave you the hand signal for “come here.”

You walked with Geri and Liam out into the hallway. You saw happiness in both Bonham and Abeline’s eyes.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Matthews. I was one of the members of the team that worked on Cordell. We relieved the pressure on his brain. We also noticed he had a brain bleed, but we were able to stop it. We will keep a close eye on it, but he should be okay. He’s still asleep. Only one person can see him at a time right now. I can take someone to his room.” Dr. Matthews explained. Everyone looked at you.

“I- I can’t go. Abeline, please go. He’s your boy.” You said.

“Go be with him. We will see him when he wakes up.” She said and placed a gentle hand on your arm. “Bonham and I will go get you some clothes and pack you a bag. He may be here for a few days. Liam, you and Geri go grab some food. Geri, since you’re friends with some of those guys, I’ll let you tell them the good news. See if they want anything to eat.”

You reached over and hugged Abeline before turning to follow Dr. Matthews. When you walked into the room, you noticed all the wires Cordell was hooked up to. You pulled up a chair and grabbed his hand as you sat down.

“I’m here, Cordi. I’m right here.”  You kissed his hand before laying your head on his bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You woke up to someone running their hand through your hair. You looked around confused before you saw Cordell weakly smiling at you with eyes half-open.

“Cordell!” You said with a cry as you gripped his hand and gave it a kiss. Bringing it to your cheek, you leaned on it as you asked, “how are you feeling?”

“Better now that I’m seeing you.” He tried saying with a flirty tone. “My head really hurts and my side does too.”

“You took a nasty couple of hits. You broke two ribs and they had to have surgery to relieve pressure on your brain as well as stop a brain bleed.” You said. He immediately cringed knowing that whatever happened with his ride, was extremely serious. “Let me go get the doctor.”

“No need. I’m right here.” Dr. Matthews said as he walked in. “Mr. Walker. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a bull.” Cordell jokes. You gasped and slapped his hand. He smiled at you before looking back at the doctor. “My head feels like it’s pounding and my side hurts. I also feel really stiff.”

“All of that is normal for what you’ve been through. I assume Ms. Y/L/N has explained to you what has transpired since being in the hospital?”

“The surgery?” Cordell asked. Dr. Matthews nodded. “Yeah. Said you relieved the pressure and stopped a brain bleed. Thank you.”

“I’m glad you are feeling better. I’m going to give you some pain medicine to help you with the pounding in your head and will help the injury to your ribs as well. It will make you drowsy, so try to rest.” Dr. Matthews said before looking over to you and back to Cordell. “We can discuss more of what happened and where to go from here when you wake up.”

“Thank you, Dr. Matthews. Really.” Cordell said as a nurse walked in to give you medicine. Dr. Matthews smiled at him before leaving with the nurse. “I’m sorry if I worried you, y/n/n. I didn’t mean to do that.”

“I know.” You whispered. “It’s okay. You were doing something you love. Now, let’s not worry about the past. Let’s just worry about getting you better, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. I love you, baby.” Cordell said as his eyelids started to droop. “I love you so much.”

Hours later, the sun started to shine through the window of Cordell’s hospital room. Abeline and Bonham had returned shortly after Cordell fell asleep and Liam and Geri were right behind them. You slept peacefully in the chair next to your sleeping boyfriend. His parents are still awake, overlooking him on the other side of the bed. Geri had long left with the promise to return in the late morning. Liam was curled up on the couch snoring away.

“Mama. Daddy.” Cordell said as he rolled his head slowly towards his parents.

“Cordell,” Abeline said softly. She didn’t want to wake the other people in the room.

“How you feelin’ son?” Bonham asked.

“Terrible, but from what I’ve heard, I’d rather feel like this than what could have been.” He said, squeezing his dad’s hand.

“You had us all worried,” Bonham said. “We will all help you get better.”

“Do you think I’ll be better in time for Vegas?” The young man asked.

“That’s what you’re worried about boy?” Bonham said, raising his voice enough to wake Liam.

“Daddy, come on.” Cordell pleaded. “I’ve worked so hard for this. I’ve put in too much time to give up before I can get there.”

“Cordell, you got extremely lucky. You need to work on getting healthy again before worrying about if or when you’ll ride again.” Abeline said.

“I’m going to Vegas. That’s final. It’s not for a few months. I have time to get ready and prep. It’ll be fine.” He said with finality in his tone.

Bonham was upset. He stood up and walked out of the room. Abeline was torn between going to comfort her husband or staying with her son. She chose to give Bonham some time to cool off. She just shook her head at her son and patted his hand.

“You’re riding again?” You asked with a tired voice. Cordell looked at you shocked. He thought you were still sleeping. You saw his confusion and said, “your dad leaving woke me up. Now answer my question.”

“Yes, I need to see this through.” He wasn’t as confident telling you as he was his parents. You just nodded. Willing to put this fight on the back burner until he wasn’t in a hospital bed. Abeline saw the pain in your eyes and decided to give you and Cordell time to talk.

“Liam, let’s go get some coffee and find your dad.” She said, grabbing her youngest’s arm and pulling him out of the room. She gave you a look to say ‘tell him.’

“Cordi, I need to talk to you about something.” You said not looking him in the eyes.

“Look, I know you don’t want me riding but-” Cordell tried to say before you interrupted him.

“It’s not about the riding. We can discuss that when we get you home and you’re rested. But I do need to tell you something. I was going to tell you at dinner last night. I’m uh…” You struggled to say it. You knew in your heart that he would be excited and happy, but your head was saying, he was going to hate and leave you. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” He asked, shocked. “Are you serious?” You weren’t looking at him so you didn’t see the smile, but his tone was unreadable.

“Yeah. I had a doctor's appointment on Friday. They predict I’m 10 weeks along, but won’t know until my ultrasound on Tuesday.” You played with your hands as you told him this. Still not looking up and seeing the huge smile that was still on his face.

“I want to go with you. I want to see our little nugget.” He said. You could hear the happiness in his tone now. You looked up and saw the tears in his eyes and the biggest smile you’ve ever seen him smile.

“You’re not mad?”

“No. I’m not. I’m thrilled.”

You grabbed his hand and squeezed it as you stood up and gave him a kiss. You cupped his cheek with your other hand and ran your thumb over his cheek.

“My heart said you’d react like this, but my brain had me thinking you would leave me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” You said as a tear rolled down your cheek. Cordell wiped it away.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.” He said softly. “I’m going to be a daddy.”

“You are.” You said with a laugh. “You’re going to be the best daddy.”

“What?” You heard Bonham ask from the door. “Y/N, you’re pregnant?”

You turned and looked and saw the whole family standing in the door. All of them were shocked by the news but you could see the excitement in their eyes. All you could do was smile and nod as they all congratulated you and Cordell.

A few days later, Cordell was released from the hospital. Abeline is staying in the guestroom for a few days to help you and Cordell with anything you may need. She was currently taking a nap when she woke up to yelling.

“Cordell Beauregard Walker.” You yelled. “Calm down before I have to take you back to the hospital.”

“No! You aren’t listening to me. I’m riding in Vegas.” He said fighting back. “There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind.”

“Please sit down. Let’s calm down before we discuss this.” You tried again.

“Y/N. I’m calm. You just aren’t listening.” He said taking a seat on the chair.

“I’m listening. I’m just not agreeing with you. You took a huge knock to the head. Not just once.” You said kneeling in front of him. “I’m sorry that you think I want you to give up on your dream, but I want you to be here. I want you to be present. I want you to be the best father you can be. If it comes down to it that the doctor clears you to ride, I will load up and go with you. I won’t be happy about it, but I’ll be there to support you. Now, until we get closer to that time and we see the doctor, please sit here and calm down. I need you to rest. Keeping your heart rate down. Please.”

Cordell nodded before standing up and helping you to your feet. He moved to the couch and laid down. You grabbed a blanket and handed it to him.

“I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready.” You said while leaning over to kiss his forehead. You walked to the kitchen and sighed. You leaned on the counter and closed your eyes.

“You okay?” Abeline said as she started pulling out the ingredients for dinner. You looked up to her with tears in your eyes.

“I will be. I just need him better so we can calmly talk about it.” You said.

“Talk to me. I can see you’re holding in a lot.” She said as she pulled out the stool and had you sit.

“I just… Watching him get bucked like that and then having the bull charge him…” You paused, “I just can’t watch that again. I always hate watching him ride wondering when will be the last time he rides and when will be the last time I hear his voice. I know I shouldn’t think like that, but I can’t help it.”

“And with this injury, you’re afraid that it will happen again?”

“Yeah.” You sighed as you ran your hand through your hair. “Abeline, if he came up to you in two months and said he was riding again, what would your response be?”

“Let him ride.” She said as a matter of fact. “I won’t like it, but it’s his life. If I told him no, he’d just go do it anyway. I have never liked him riding. I hated seeing him take that hit last weekend and laying in the hospital bed, but I can’t make him stop riding. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink it.”

“I just want what's best for him. I love him and I want him safe. It kills me to say, please don’t ride because it feels like I’m telling him to give up on his dream. To give up on everything he has worked and trained for. But after this weekend, I can’t do this again. I didn’t tell Cordell, but my blood pressure was high at our scan yesterday. The doctor told me I had to get it down or it would be dangerous for the baby. I’m terrified I’m going to lose the baby because I’m constantly worrying about him. If he’s okay and is his brain fully healing. And now with him talking about preparing for Vegas, I just…” You sighed not knowing what to say.

You felt arms wrap around you from behind. You knew immediately who it was.

“If I rest, you rest. Vegas talk can wait until later doctor appointments. I’ll start focusing on getting better. I promise. I won’t even think about Vegas until I’m 100%. Now I’m also going to focus on you staying healthy. Come on. Mama is cooking dinner, which we appreciate by the way, now me and you will go take a nap.” He said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up. Abeline smiled at him as he guided you out of the kitchen and toward your bedroom.

You laid down on the bed and Cordell laid behind you and pulled you to his chest. You immediately felt calm. Cordell lightly ran his fingers over your stomach.

“You know, I’m excited to start a family with you.” He whispered in your ear. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize all the stress my bull riding put on you.”

“Let’s talk about that later.” You said softly.

“Okay.” His hand flattened on your stomach. “You’re going to be an amazing mother. I’m so thankful you let me be a part of this journey with you. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for agreeing to go on a date with me freshman year.”

“I’m glad you asked me out. I’m glad we’ve had six great years together. I can’t wait for the many more we have.” You said interlocking your fingers with his. “I know we fight sometimes and don’t always agree on things, but no matter what, I’m in your corner.”

“I know that. You have always done what you thought is best for me. And 99.9% of the time you are right.” He said with a small laugh. “Now, rest your eyes. I’ll be right here when you wake. Probably still asleep.”

You laughed so loud Abeline could hear it from the kitchen and smiled to herself. You laughed as you turned in his arms to face him and gave him a kiss. “I love you, Cordi. So much.”

“I love you too y/n/n. So much.” He kissed your forehead and then closed his eyes. You admired him before digging your face into his chest and falling into a restful sleep.