#coparenting a menace

[menace-behaviour]

Hen: So, how are things going with you and Buck? You’ve been together a little while now, huh?

Eddie: Good, actually! I think I’ve finally fucked the doubts about us out of him.

Chimney: *Who happened to be walking past at that exact moment* I didn’t need to know that. I did not need to know THAT.

[panstovoid]

Thank god for spider noir being in beyond the spiderverse because Peter b is going to need another adult to help out with his 6 kids. Especially since he’s going to have Gwen “I would break all rules just to see my favorite people in the world” Stacy, Hobie “Major InstigatorTM” Brown, Miles “I’m gonna do my own thing and it’s going to be chaotic and crazy” Morales, Pavitr “I am ready to go along with the ride so long as it’s against colonizers” Prabahakar, and Peter “I operate on cartoon logic” Porker all in one single group.

[moniheartsluffy]

one piece headcannons pt2

a/n: don’t worry bout nun sweetheart. just laugh n vibe🫡

luffy: we all know how luffy acts but i think that everytime he sees his grandpa or his brothers he starts acting like the whiney kid he was when he was younger.

kidd: him and killer made the “if im not married by 30 then we’re getting married” promise to eachother. killer forgot all about it but the memory of it haunts kidd til this day.

doflamingo: i swear that he has tripped over that feather cape he be wearing.

law but younger: he has dyed doffy’s feather cape black and hid corazon’s and proceeded to help them search for it… (absolute menace)

franky: he has 100% poured water on iceberg in his sleep and til this day he’s never gotten caught.

ussop: for a period of his childhood i feel like he was an adamant believer that he didn’t have a dad. (yassop knew he could’ve sent a letter or sum)

benn becky: acts like the responsible one but is just as irresponsible as shanks when it comes to certain things (THEM FAWKING CIGARETTES THATS RLLY A BLUNT)

sanji: he has a journal(it’s a diary) and he writes little letters to his mom everyday…he’s done it since she passed and he still has all the journals he went through. (damn that’s kinda sad)

whitebeard: as much as he’d hate to admit it…he kinda considers shanks and buggy as his sons seeing as he kinda watched them grow up. (him and roger coparented lol)

roger: he accidentally forgot shanks and buggy on an island…yes it happened more than once. (man ik rayleigh was on his ass..)

[amarantoestrella]

Can I scream into the void about baby daddy Baji?

[dilfl0v3rss]

Yall cannot tell me Eren wouldn't be a toxic Coparent 😭😭like why is this even a debate

him and zeke are literally brothers ofc he’d be a menace.

like he’d really have you ready to knock his head off every other day and when y’all are on good terms he’d fuck you so hard just so his kids could hear how much their parents still love each other.

“let my babies know how much mommy still loves daddy.”

and zeke is no better fr like he doesn’t gaf ab no “healing” you tryna do. in his eyes the two of you are still together and he’d feed his kids so many lies about how he’ll be moving back in soon and that he’ll marry you one day and have them all in the wedding. you’d confront him ab it and he’d just laugh in your face saying “you’ll see”

not even two nights later the man is back at your house rearranging your guts. feeding you crazy deep strokes as he made you scream whatever he told you to.

“say you want papa t’marry you or i’ll stop”

“i w-wanna marry you papa please please pleaseee”

you don’t even understand what you’re repeating, too fucked out to realize that your kids were still home, listening with smiles on their faces as they heard the words their father has been telling them you’d say soon.

[artdcnaldson]

girl dad patrick?? say lesssss

i have so many random thoughts for patrick as a girl dad. Like he is such a sweet dad. Would do anything for his daughter. The dad who let's his daughter paint his nails and do (really bad) makeup on him when she was little. The dad who would sit for tea parties and would have conversations with her stuffed animals. Signed her up for any activity she wanted and was always there to support her.

Also love the idea of having a daughter who is just like him, because I feel like at first that's not something he'd want, but then he is actually able to love and support her the way his parent's didn't, even when it does stress him out, so the cycle is broken? (If that makes sense) So she grows up to be a menace and he's stuck in between wanting to rip out all of his hair from stress and being proud of her.

-🫀

He’d be SUCH a sweet dad :( I think he actively tries to sabotage himself a bit at first, doesn’t put in very much effort, tries not to form that bond, because it’s so fucking scary. Things he loves leave him, things he loves moves on, and he can’t let himself love her, love you as deeply as he feels himself needing to, you know? It’s better to purposefully fuck up and leave on his own terms.

But you just. Don’t let him. You see through it easily, and just give him a bit of grace about it. He warms up to being a dad over time, because of course he does. She looks more like you, but as she grows up he sees a lot of his personality, his facial expressions. The crooked smirk she wears when she does something bad, the sullen, kicked puppy look when she gets into trouble.

It’s still a coparenting thing, you know? You like Patrick, but you don’t want to be a wife or girlfriend out of pity or duty. On the weekends that Patrick gets her, he spoils her rotten <3 His parents pay for a two bedroom apartment for him, and it’s nice because she gets her own room and he can decorate it just how she wants. Fills it with teddy bears and buys her pretty blue bedding (her favorite color), and books to read at bedtime, and all of her favorite movies on DVD just in case the internet goes out so she doesn’t panic. He buys her a little tennis racket and tries to show her the ropes as soon as she’s big enough. He takes her to the zoo weekly because she has a favorite gorilla and she wants to go check on him. Is her personal makeup dummy that she tests all the cheap Claire’s makeup she gets on (Tashi and Art and you always get photos. One of him with sparkly extensions clipped into his curls and blue glittery eyeshadow and thick clumpy pink sparkly lipgloss is his contact picture for you).

Anyways. He loves his daughter and he probably loves you too :(((

[sasukesun]

genin naruto was truly a menace and a gremlin and older naruto admits he was specifically a menace to sasuke because he felt jealous of him and couldn’t handle it but i don’t know how people can claim that naruto was like- a complete jerk for “wanting to beat sasuke up” when their rivalry wasn’t really about that and sasuke very much reciprocated it. i don’t even think it was unhealthy as people claim it to be. i’ve already talked about sasuke thinking that their rivalry meant they would grow strong together, but that applies to naruto as well.

“because we have to become stronger”

“heh… both of us made it to the top” while looking satisfied.

like i’ve said before, it was never about “beating sasuke up” to prove that he was better than him, but actually about being acknowledged as an equal.

and sure it may seem that sasuke started to acknowledge and admire naruto after naruto started to improve, but sasuke actually starts reciprocating the rivalry earlier in the manga.

when he acts playful towards naruto just to provoke him.

when they compete over who eats more.

when they compete over who gets on the top of the tree first (and smile fondly when they are both at the top).

and it’s not unhealthy really, they are just being 12 year olds. it’s honestly cute that sasuke gets to act like a stupid kid when he’s with naruto, that naruto draws those reactions out of him and lets him be a normal kid, they both just push the other up, even if they have feelings of jealousy they can’t deal with, even if they don’t know the right approach always, they grow stronger together and it really only gets “unhealthy” when itachi comes back and retraumatises sasuke, when itachi goes after naruto and easily puts sasuke down, when itachi says sasuke is weak because he doesn’t have enough hatred. sasuke not only gets jealous that he focused so much on itachi and yet itachi went after his rival, but he also feels like he hasn’t progressed enough, still isn’t strong enough to kill his brother, and of course there’s still the curse seal actively triggering him. that’s when everything changes and kishimoto calls it a “bitter rivalry”. but it required external and pretty traumatising forces to do so.

and it’s no wonder that in vote1 naruto says that the fight they had at the hospital roof wasn’t the fight he wanted.

and despite hating boruto, traces of their rivalry remain even in the boruto movie, in a healthy, playful way, of course. like at the end of their fight with momoshiki when they go:

sasuke: “you’re a mess”

naruto: “so are you”

sasuke: “yeah, i can’t even stand” [sits down] “i won this contest”

we notice that sasuke still likes the competition, engages on it, in whatever coparenting reality kishimoto invented in this movie. and it’s not only that they still like this kind of thing, but it shows they’ve grown past the jealousy when sasuke admits he can’t even stand, there is no problem in admitting “weakness”.

[sadnessisavegetable]

Betsy and Bertha, and Bingus and Tabatha.

I have thoughts about all of these chickens different personalities, and I think it’s funny that they came rather close to the extremes of both Ghirahim and Zant’s behaviors (though simplified).

More information and rambles under cut! I only shortened with a cut because I rambled long!

Betsy is a friendly and sweet chicken who genuinely likes people. Bertha is an angry freak who killed the rooster (metaphorically, I know there are no roosters in Stardew Valley) for no reason except him looking at her wrong.

Bingus is the most anxious and loud velcro chicken ever, she needs to be held and put in little pajamas or she will scream. Tabatha is a menace, but in the way where she is rather imposing and seems to be the boss, she’s acting like a rooster.

The reasoning behind the naming styles:

Betsy(brown) and Bertha(void) are little old lady names that Ghirahim liked for his two ladies.

Tabatha(blue) got that name because Zant thought that she needed a weirdly grandma name that also radiates strength in his brain.

Bingus(white) was named like that because Zant thought it was hilarious. Bingus also looks like she knows her name is Bingus.

And yes, they are all in the same coop, which leads to interesting dynamics that Zant and Ghirahim speculate on outside of the game since they share a co-op farm.

Bingus velcros to Betsy if Zant is not around to hold her or let her follow him. Betsy is very casual and raises most of the ducks that are hatched, so Bingus is like a hapless coparent but she’s doing her best. Bertha herds everything, chases everything, bites everything except Betsy and the ducks. Bingus gets herded an awful lot, poor thing. And Tabatha gets bitten a lot by Bertha, though Bertha also behaves like a rather clingy lover to Tabatha during the winter for warmth. Bertha is not allowed to sit on eggs to hatch them because then she doesn’t let anyone approach the coop.

[ablinkntime]

[ reading ms. marvel: mutant menace and snickering at logan and deadpool coparenting kamala lmao - ]

[samaraxmorgan]

HIIIIII HERE TO FORCE YOU TO TALK ABT YOUR WIPS >:) SOOOOOO. first of all, for roommate sukuna, what are you MOST looking forward to writing/exploring???? i feel like there’s SO MUCH w their relationship to see and i am SO EXCITED FOR ALL OF IT!!!!!!!

and also ….you already KNOWWWW i’m obsessed w ddr yuji HAHAHAHAHA AND OFC EARLU 2000s UNCKUNA!!!!!!!! I STILL GIGGLE I LOVED YOUR HCS FOR HIM SO MUCH AAAAHHH HOW FAR INTO THEM ARE YOU????

EEEE HI BABEY!!!

So I’m REALLY excited to put out Ran From The Cops!! Basic synopsis for that one is p much that we ask Sukuna for a ride home from work but he’s the world’s most reckless driver SKAKSK!! That one is the idea I had that started the entire series!! Him driving like a maniac on his motorcycle while evading the cops and we’re SCREAMINGGG at him to pull over but he refuses to <3 He’s such a menace I love him to death

And I’m ALSO really excited to finally reveal his backstory!! In some parts that I haven’t posted yet I have some very subtle little hints thrown in to foreshadow it >:) and also some… not subtle hints BUT I’m just really excited to show the depth of his character!! It’s gonna be angsty and plot twisty and I’m SO excited for everyone to see it!!!!

SO for DDR Yuuji I have the outline written for most of it!!! I just need to actually make it pretty :) I’ve just had so much Sukuna on the brain that I haven’t really been working on it unfortunately :(

And for early 2000s Unckuna SOOO!!! That was the first fic I ever wrote and I only have the draft of the first chapter and a half written, but I haven’t worked on it in MONTHS I really wanna rework it now that I have more writing experience!! I’ve written like 6k words for it and I’ve had some ideas kinda rotating around in my head with it, like I originally planned to make it really angsty but I scrapped the idea bc it was already gonna be so long. I wanna write the full series and THEN start posting it once it’s done so that I can play around with it a lot and not get stuck in a certain plot line bc I already posted stuff and then can’t change it anymore yknow? I have an itty bitty little teaser here if you want a little glimpse into it!!!

Okay and MORE on Tough Love, the original idea I had for it was that there would be no reader insert or any romance and that it would be completely revolving around familial love with Sukuna and Yuuji. Basically it would be a series of oneshots taking place at different times in Yuuji’s childhood that weren’t in chronological order, and then you would be able to piece together The Lore(tm) as more parts came out!! But I scrapped that idea and made it romance because I didn’t think anyone would care about reading something that isn’t romance :( so I think that’s WHY I’m struggling writing it so much is bc I wasn’t originally planning on going the “Sukuna dates Yuuji’s babysitter!” route and it was moreso gonna be “Sukuna helps Jin coparent after his wife (Kaori) dies and Sukuna is BAD at parenting BUT HES DOING HIS BEST!!”

[quillyfied]

Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART THREE (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E3)

- First, going back to the previous episode: thank you to the person who reminded me that the Dirty Donkey pub is the pub that Crowley plans his holy water heist in!! (Which means Crowley LITERALLY planned his heist on Aziraphale’s stoop, unless Aziraphale moved the pub to be closer to himself in case it happened again. Hmmmm.)

- Also. I have been reminded that “Give me coffee or give me death” is a modified quote of “give me liberty or give me death” by an American revolutionary. Which. Explains all the Statues of Liberty around the place. I am Slow.

- Anyway, to e3: the fact that Jim has a labeled mug and hot chocolate canister. I feel like he tried to ingest something he wasn’t supposed to, so Aziraphale made sure he had his name on his things XD

- The sex worker is a treasure, for one; I hope I am reminded of her name soon.

- MURIEL. SWEET ANGEL BABY. Sorry they’re not a baby but they are so adorably innocent and inexperienced. I love that Aziraphale treats them so kindly despite his obvious terror. Though. It is a kindness that reminds me of my coworkers. I work in childcare. I know a “childcare” disposition when I see it.

- Okay, the framing there: the box, and the hat. The mystery, and the detective cap. Excellent.

- The gentle tutelage, Muriel’s scrunchy face when they realize what tea is for—I’m just SCREECHING.

- AND CROWLEY GETTING IN ON IT. THE WAY HIS WHOLE DEMEANOR IMMEDIATELY GOES FROM BITCHING TO DELIGHTED. AAAAAAAAAAH.

- AND HE’S SITTING. ON THE ARM. OF AZIRAPHALE’S CHAIR.

- The coparenting. Muriel’s utter naivety. I’m just.

- “I’m not sure how you lot have managed to stay in charge.” “I’m not sure we actually have.” SAY IT LOUDER.

- OKAY BUT HOW DOES HELL MEASURE MIRACLES THO

- ONE FABULOUS KISS CROWLEY. IS THAT ALL IT TAKES.

- “To tell if humans are in love you need to wait a few days” not bad advice really but also unrelated how many days are in like 6000 years? Asking for a friend.

- AZIRAPHALE TALKING TO THE BENTLEY AND IMMEDIATELY BEING A BIGGER MENACE ON THE ROAD THAN CROWLEY. VINDICATION.

- Thing the first about the opening theme: Crowley crawls up the cliff and Aziraphale lands on it. Just a nice touch.

- The movie theater in the opening has a different feature title and picture on the big screen every episode. I missed it for the first one but last time it was “A Companion to Owls” (which is a verse from Job that I only know because the full quote is “I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls” and it was a lamentation but of course teenage Quilly thought that was the coolest thing she had ever read). This time: The Resurrectionists, coupled with a shot of the Gabriel statue.

- I think Crowley’s hair is s1 color in this minisode but I can’t be sure. Lighting is…not. :P

- THE BONUS CONTENT SAYS NEIL GAIMAN THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO LET DAVID TENNANT DO AS MANY SCOTTISH ACCENTS AS HE CAN THIS CHAPTER. I AM DELIGHTED

- The second Elspeth says “English” Crowley starts losing it, which in turn makes ME lose it.

- I love the bringing back in the discussion from the book about privilege making its way here, and given a more visceral illustration and testing. Though I love Crowley literally helping Elspeth pull the wagon, a thing I’m not sure he’s ever willingly done in his life, and poking holes in Aziraphale’s arguments all the way.

- Wee Morag’s morals have about the same utility in this situation as Aziraphale’s, tbh. I’m not sure I have the mental capacity tonight to deconstruct that the way it deserves.

- Aha! Knew I recognized the tune in the car! Danse Macabre!

- He is AFFECTIONATE towards the BENTLEY. Which Crowley can FEEL.

- YELLOW CAR. DAMN YOU JOHN FINNEMORE.

- but it is pretty, Crowley!

- Spoilsport.

- I fully did not internalize the tartan hills and Nessie the first time around. I saw them. I immediately chalked them up to personal fever dream.

- The demon’s name is Josh. Why is that delightful??

- He wears a kilt! And has a wonderful little monologue about dung pits and tongue ripping!

- Beelzebub being off is subtle. Almost too subtle.

- The many stacks of books Crowley carries around and then chucks this episode. Love it.

- Crowley not having a cow about a fly seems weird tbh

- Vavoom. Where tf did he learn the word vavoom

- “David Tennant has occasionally played a doctor” OH HAS HE NOW

- the almost musical pulls Michael Sheen does for miracles this season. Lovely.

- Also: the dual nature of Mr. Dalrymple. Needs bodies to do good and study so he can save lives. Treats the people bringing him the bodies like dirt.

- Okay: is Crowley freezing time, or just putting Dalrymple in a mental time out? Very curious to know. The trivia bit on the side references the s1 trick of having Jean-Claude’s actor stand very still to achieve the time stop there, so perhaps freezing time?

- Alright moment of silence for how very very good Crowley’s outfit is this scene. Yum.

- The instant penny drop when Aziraphale realizes the reason for the body snatching, how he immediately uses prevention of future harm to classify it as Good.

- Also. His emotional reaction to the kid’s tumor. ;A;

- Edinburgh is so colorful!!

- HIS SMUG LITTLE GRIN WHEN HE POPS OUT HIS HAT AND NOTEBOOK. Also, wtf is in his hat. What is that.

- Okay but the double sided sign, and how Aziraphale first sees the Jesus side. IMPORTANT. PAINFUL.

- PRESS 66. That’s what’s in the hat.

- And Aziraphale being every bit as awkward as Muriel in his interrogation. Just slightly less weird. Angels.

- Listen I’ll probably say it again at episode 6 but the sheer magnitude of the importance that Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love over the course of a year—with EACH OTHER. Not with earth or humans or creation. Just each other. Hggk.

- Alright, but Aziraphale DOES see the other half of the sign here. Does he get it? DOES HE GET IT?? No. Of course not.

- “I’ll help but it still doesn’t make it right.” That is such an uncomfortable truth to sit with. The whole adventure is, really. The whole show. SHADES OF GREY.

- Okay, I’m pausing this episode way too much, it’s been over an hour since I started this episode, but—the way Aziraphale overcorrects is. Sad? Elspeth and Wee Morag aren’t here to decrease human suffering. Outside of their own, of course, which can also be achieved by digging up a body that’s fresh. Scope of intent and how Aziraphale simplifies and moralizes it. Huh.

- Lot more this season about Aziraphale’s miracle allowances, too. Very interesting concept.

- MIGHT HAVE SLIGHTLY OVERDONE IT ON THE HOLE. MIGHT YOU INDEED.

- interesting how his dithering is what causes his chance to heal Wee Morag to slip through his fingers. And yet raising her is out of the question. Can Aziraphale even do that? We know he and Crowley together generate a ton of power, but what about on his own?

- interesting that elspeth takes Wee Morag to Dalrymple and is already contemplating suicide despite her actions suggesting she intended to keep on living. Hmm.

- Dalrymple the Ass. Not just unwilling to get his own hands dirty but disparaging of those who will. Another moral dichotomy.

- And elspeth also not wanting to get dug up? Wee Morag’s death affecting her?

- CROWLEY OFF HIS HEAD WITH LAUDANUM IS THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME

- How much is 90 guineas compared to 5 pounds? …google says a guinea is worth slightly more than a pound. So. For the eight pounds Elspeth and Wee Morag were aiming for, for the three pounds shafted that Wee Morag died for…Aziraphale literally had over ten times that amount in his pocket. MORALS.

- …the stupid special features had the math onscreen already. Sort of. Heck.

- Yeah okay this scene adds way more context to Crowley asking for holy water fifty or so years later. Yikes. YIKES. The implications of it all!!

- Asking the phone nicely. Love these little Aziraphaleisms.

- The awning of a new age XD

- The little tipping of his cap!! Adorable!

- Nina and Maggie actually TALKING. HEY CROWLEY ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION???

- The rain is overdone and the awning rips. Gosh. Whatever could that be implying?

- Seriously how is Crowley able to pull these spells out of Jim?? And seemingly ONLY him???

- Alright, this prophecy bit. Seems to me to be about the future, also about the past, which is very biblical tbh. Specifically Isaiah. But I’m not up to snuff enough on my Bible to tell what all Gabriel is quoting. Besides the Buddy Holly.

- HELLO SHAX

- Okay, realizing that no angels pop up in Aziraphale’s shop in season 1, either. Gabriel and Sandalphon enter from the outside. I’ll need to rewatch to see if Aziraphale actively invites them in, or if it’s just blocking. I think it might just be blocking. But what an interesting detail, that only humans can enter at will and all else must be invited!

- The threatening of Aziraphale continues. The anxiety of Crowley intensifies. The obliviousness of Jim resets.

- Always too late. Poor Crowley.

Yeah this took an hour and a half to watch XD but I’m having fun. And killing quite a lot of time. Am I making sense or creating a thoughtful analysis? No, I don’t think so. But I’m solidifying the canon in my head, at least.

[menace-behaviour]

*Buck got a rescue dog and is absolutely in love with her*

Eddie: *Looking at her* It’s not even that cute.

Buck: Eddie, are you seriously jealous of my dog, right now?

Eddie: Jealous?? No! I don’t get jealous! Especially, not about a dog.

*Later in the night*

Eddie: *To the dog* Listen here, you little boyfriend thief.

[ao3gobi17]

Hi!

I just wanted to say that i really love wainfleets’ teasing of miles. Thats his love language i guess lmao (Also; All the characters *chefs kiss*)

he‘s kinda coparenting with Quaritch. 🥹 His vibe is fun but slightly annoying uncle. Skjfifi love your fic to pieces!!!!

So because i have to know, if Wainfleet had a kid would he be similar to Quaritch or would he be a more laid back?? Like if he were in the same situation as Quaritch?

Thank you!! <3 Yeah I agree, that's Lyle interacting with Spider the best way he knows how 😂😂 He's definitely wedging himself into that space and I think Quaritch is amused and tolerating it, but it's a lot more weird for Spider who barely knows the guy!

If Wainfleet was Quaritch.. oof I like the question but I wonder what the answer is. I think he'd not necessarily have these loyal followers that Quaritch has to pull it off (Spider has yet to clarify if they're being paid or are friends or what, but it's clear already that Q is the big boss in their eyes). But lets say he does and it's this exact scenario.. Wainfleet would mostly still be himself. He'd be less prone to anger the way Quaritch is:

Spider: You're not my dad!!

Quaritch: *looks for someone to murder*

Wainfleet: That wasn't very nice, my guy, you think I changed 5000 diapers for you to think you can snark at me now?

He'd also probably look to bond with Spider through play, would probably try to buy him something ridiculous that he might want and would generally keep menacing him.. while I guess Quaritch as the right hand man would be trying keep Wainfleet steady!

[tinyhawks]

all the buddy daddies clips i have seen on twt are so cute. i think dabi and hawks should be two men on the bad side of the law coparenting a little cute menace too

[buckvalentina]

a bucktaylor baby would be a beautiful menace to society and eddie and taytay would be THEE funniest hateful coparents i stand by this

[not-another-robin]

Okaaaaaay let's go. Here's my no capes au! Deets under the cut. The ages are absolutely goofed just work with me here.

Bruce is not a millionaire. Thomas Wayne gave up his money to be with Martha and Alfred. Thomas and Martha weren't murdered, they died in a car accident. The family doesn't live at Wayne Manor, they live in an apartment somewhere in Gotham. Bruce is a nurse, he specifically works in a children's unit. He's stands offish and curt to adults, but he's warm and kind to kids. He wears a bat pin to tell kids a story about something scary that happened to him - when he was attacked by a bat - and how sometimes you need to be brave and face your fears. Some kids call him "bat man" because they don't remember his name, his coworkers call him that as nickname.

He met Dick after he was taken to the hospital when his parents passed away. They bonded and Bruce took him in. Dick is a young teen, maybe 15. He can be a bit broody because he's at that age, but overall he's a good brother.

Damian is around 3, he's still Talia and Bruce's kid. Talia and Bruce were never married, but they're on good terms. They coparent Dami, for now Talia visits the states but when he's older they plan on giving him time wherever Talia currently lives (she moves around for work). Dami is obsessed with his bat onesie.

Alfred is a stay at home grandpa, and he nannies for kids in the apartment building (Tim, Duke, and Steph). He looks after all of the children because Bruce and the other parents work late nights or odd hours. He is the only one who's trained in combat, as he was in the special forces. Parents who work in shady business feel safe leaving their kids with him.

Tim lives in the apartment next door with his father, Jack Drake, who is also not rich in this AU. Jack tries his best to make ends meet with honest jobs but has to turn to goonery sometimes. Tim is 7 years old, he loves to skateboard inside (no one else loves it)

Duke also lives in the apartment complex with his parents and cousin. His mom works in social work and his dad in construction, so Alfred looks after him until they get home from work. Duke is really smart and goes to a gifted academy, he's 6 but is in 1st grade.

Steph goes to the same school as the Wayne kids, she's is Cass' class. Her dad used to leave her alone for long periods of time, but now she goes home with Cass and stays at the Waynes when he's not around. She is a menace (affectionate)

Cass was adopted by Bruce after fostering for her for a few years. She still has contact with her mother but it's limited. She does ballet, soccer, and martial arts. Duke and Steph are her besties, they have bracelets.

Jason is in foster care, Bruce is looking after him for now. His mom is working on getting custody back, and the family supports her efforts. Jason can act out sometimes, but when he's in the right environment he's a very kind and happy kid.

Does anyone wanna hear about my Borderline Unrecognizable no capes au where everyone is just normal