#considering glenns whole deal. which i think just makes it hit more
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lies down in the dirt. honestly the more i think abt glenns arc the more i start to really REALLY like and appreciate it. freddies a goddamn genius
#especially as i do my relisten of s1 like#dont get me wrong i still dont Like certain aspects of it. the thing w/ morgan only being alive with jodie is unnecessary and just cruel#and i kind of agree that it fucks nicks characterization but not reeealllyyy? i think we get a good amount w/ watermice but he is defo the#least fleshed out of all the kids#but like i dunno! i think my initial reaction is bc character arcs i enjoy are rly explosive and Dramatic and theres an Obvious change#but glenns is super subtle. its slow. he doesnt SHOW his hurt but you can still see it. its a little tragic. i like it a lot#mayyybbee him reconnecting w/ nick shouldve happened sooner imo but! i like it. its a GENUINELY rly good arc#i think the fact that s2 exists and we get to see life carried on for glenn and he could still find ways to live on helps a lot tbh#its the little things. him desperately wanting nick to think hes cool. all of the nick jr stuff. he gives away his own wellbeing for his#sons. the notebook of all the bad days hes had. the genuine regret at ditching the dads w/ the water mice.#its Subtle and being someone who likes explosive drama itd fun to see it be less so but. the way it is works i think!#ALSO ALL THE COOL METAL DEMONS N SHIT IS JUST SO FUN. LIKE CMON FHSHSDKHFSKF#WHAT IM SAYING IT IS GENUINELY REALLY GOOD. LIKE MY COMPLAINTS ASIDE ITS A GREAT ARC. its just a bit more Quiet is all. which is ironic#considering glenns whole deal. which i think just makes it hit more
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6, 7, 11
6. Favorite piece(s) of media that speaks to your experiences?
This was a tough one to answer lol. As I was thinking I had suddenly forgotten every piece of media I had ever consumed. In no particular order:
Devil by Tyler Glenn - Out of all his songs this one hits the hardest. Not as sad as Midnight, but not as upbeat as Waiting Around. The vibes are pretty much my exact feelings. I think the only thing that doesn't line up for me is his mom's love, but everything else rings true.
From Eden by Hozier - The classic religious trauma song. The bittersweet tone of it definitely made it a comfort song for me as I was leaving. Everything I knew was in the past and now I've turned into something to hate. But I didn't view it as a super painful or sad thing either. This was more my experience before a lot of the deconversion and the whole "holy shit this is a cult" realization.
Tangled - That scene right after she leaves the tower and has the massive internal conflict...yeah. I did exactly the same thing after leaving, with the same extremes and fear of mom.
Black Widow - Specifically the part when Yelena brings up that the vest was one of the first pieces of clothing that she bought for herself. Pretty much her whole life she hasn't been able to express herself or choose what she wants to wear, and at the end of the movie we see her in brightly colored and patterned clothes, showing that she's fully embraced that part of her. I am so happy for her, and I can't wait to be able to reach that point.
7. Do you like angels or demons?
Hm I'm kind of neutral to be honest. I like the aesthetics of angels but also don't vibe with them cause, you know, I'm an evil apostate. But demons give me angsty teen vibes when in the context of apostasy so idk.
11. Has deconverting impacted your experience of gender or sexuality?
Oh absolutely. The church places so much emphasis on sex=bad, especially when sexual sins are considered second only to murder (even writing out that sexual attraction is involved makes me uncomfortable lol). My mom was also a strict molly mormon so everything we did had to be as perfect mormon children, so I took any feelings of attraction and shoved it so far down that I genuinely thought I was asexual for all of high school (which is totally valid! just not my sexuality). When I moved out and started deconverting I slowly realized that while I was right in my lack of attraction to men, I was in fact a lesbian. It was an uncomfortable realization at first, cause that meant dealing with potential sexual attraction that I had been conditioned to believe was incredibly sinful. Since then I've been able to make a lot of progress! I'm still not ready to try acting on anything, but I'm still proud of myself for how far I've come.
Thank you for asking!
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OH, TAYLOR! Taylor Swift On Side-Stepping Into Acting, Owning What You Make & Loving The “Weirdness” Of Cats
On a grey London afternoon in late September, Taylor Swift slips quietly through the doors of a north London recording studio. It is an auspicious moment: the queen of confessional pop has come to meet Andrew Lloyd Webber, the king of musical theatre. Together, Swift, who turns 30 this month, and Lloyd Webber, 71, have written “Beautiful Ghosts”, a new song for the soon-to-be-released film adaptation of Cats – Webber’s 1981 extravaganza, which ran in the West End and on Broadway for a combined total of almost 40 years. In it, Swift plays Bombalurina, and like her co-stars – Idris Elba, Judi Dench, Francesca Hayward, Ian McKellen, Jennifer Hudson, Rebel Wilson – appears in full, furry CGI glory. Track finished, these two titans of the music industry sit down to talk…
Andrew Lloyd Webber: Well, the first thing we have to clear up is that we both love cats. Taylor Swift: [Laughs] We do! One of the first things you said to me when we met was that you’re president of the Turkish Van Cat Club. ALW: Professionally, there is nowhere I can go to top this, as you can completely understand. TS: I have three cats. How many do you have now? ALW: I have three, too – they are all Turkish Vans. And you’ve got a Scottish Fold I believe. TS: I have two Scottish Folds, we think the third is a Ragdoll mix. ALW: You’re probably never going to talk to me again, but you know I’ve got a puppy? He’s called Mojito. TS: I heard about this! How does he get along in the hierarchy? ALW: Well, he believes he’s a little bear actually. He’s a Havanese dog, which I got because Glenn Close has one. TS: I’ve met that dog, he’s really good. ALW: You come from Pennsylvania. TS: I do. People seem to think I was raised in the south, but I’m from the north – grew up on a Christmas tree farm, then moved to Nashville when I was 14. ALW: And you wanted to move to Nashville for the songwriting or the singing? Or both? TS: Both – I was just obsessed with Shania Twain, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, and the thing they had in common was that they had gotten discovered in Nashville. So I had it in my head that this is a magical place where discoveries are made and people are able to do music as a living. ALW: Was it the storytelling side of country songs that you liked? Absolutely. It reminded me of the ’90s, when you had these amazing female singer-songwriters like Alanis Morissette and Sarah McLachlan; incredible female writers like Melissa Etheridge, Shawn Colvin; and these types of Lilith Fair women. Then you started to hit the 2000s and the only place I could find real confessional storytelling was country music. ALW: Did you know anybody when you got to Nashville? TS: No, we didn’t really. I’d been going there on vacation with my family, and my mom, my little brother and I would stay in a hotel and try to meet people. Eventually, after several trips, I got a development deal – it’s a non-committal record deal, like, “We’ll watch you develop for a year and then we’ll decide if we sign you.” That was grounds enough to move the family. ALW: Presumably you were in school in Nashville as well? TS: Yes, I was going to high school during the day and doing my songwriting sessions at night. It was a double life. I’d be writing notes in class, and my teachers never knew if they were notes for my class or if I’d gotten an idea for a song. ALW: How many songs would you write in a day? TS: Usually, never more than one. I had these sessions every day, and if I didn’t come in with a good idea, I’d get stared at. You’re not inspired every day, as you know, but you have to show up and treat it like a job. That’s where I learned the craft of songwriting. ALW: I’ve never worked like that, because I’m so story driven. What interests me, though, is how Nashville works. How did you get your foot on the performing ladder? TS: It was really writing first. At the same time, I was singing the national anthem every time I could – at festivals and fairs and bars, anywhere I could get up on stage. I was trying to hone both sides of what I was doing, but I’m very well aware that I would not have a career if I hadn’t been a writer. I wouldn’t have just been a singer, it wouldn’t have worked. ALW: I guess that, today, very few people have a major career unless they write. TS: Yeah, I agree. I think it’s really important – also from the side of ownership over what you do and make. Even if you aren’t a natural writer, you should try to involve yourself in the messages you’re sending. ALW: How does a young country artist get their first break? TS: I worked as hard as I could, reached out to as many people as I could to make sure I got meetings with publishing companies and labels. They didn’t come about very easily, but once I got in the room I’d just get out my guitar and play for them. ALW: Do you have to sing in a certain club to get to the next stage? TS: Everyone does it a different way, but the Bluebird Cafe is a place where everyone was discovered – from Garth Brooks to Faith Hill to, arguably, me. I remember being at your house after we’d written a song, and you telling me you’d bought it when you were 24 or something, that’s when I realised just how young you were when you had a vision to be doing this at such a high level. ALW: I was writing for the theatre when I was eight-years-old. I had a little toy theatre and did dreadful musicals on terrible subjects. Then, when I was about 13, I met a boy who wanted to write lyrics, and we did a couple of musicals at school. TS: So from the beginning you would pair up with a lyricist? ALW: One of the things I worked out very early was Lloyd Webber and lyrics are not a good idea. TS: Wow. It is a good alliteration, though. ALW: You were 19, weren’t you, when you had your first big hit? TS: I was about 18 when “Love Story”, a song I’d written alone, was a worldwide hit. I was lucky enough to work my way up in country music, for new artists nowadays, it feels like the trajectory of their career is like being shot out of a canon into a stratosphere they could in no way be prepared for. I got to sort of acclimate to every step of the path I was on, and by the time I had a massive hit I’d been working since I was 14. Moving from country music to pop was a crazy adjustment for me. ALW: And now we’ve written “Beautiful Ghosts” together for Cats. TS: I remember the moment. I went over to your apartment to rehearse “Macavity” and you sat down at the piano and started to play this haunting, beautiful melody, and I think I just started singing to it right away. ALW: You wrote the lyrics more or less then and there – it was fantastic. TS: It’s a different perspective on the song “Memory”, too, and the character of Grizabella [played by Jennifer Hudson], who used to have majestic, glamorous times and doesn’t anymore. On the other side of it, you have this little white cat [Victoria, played by Francesca Hayward] who’s been abandoned – she’s afraid she’ll never have a chance to have beautiful memories. So that’s where she’s singing “Beautiful Ghosts” from, to counter Grizabella’s idea of tragedy. ALW: I’d like to come back to something I thought when I heard your album, Lover – which is really absolutely brilliant. Am I right in thinking you approached its recording just as though you were giving live performances? TS: I did. I was really singing a lot at that point – I’d just come from a stadium tour, and then did Cats, which was all based on live performances – so a lot of that album is nearly whole takes. When you perform live, you’re narrating and you’re getting into the story and you’re making faces that are ugly and you’re putting a different meaning on a song every time you perform it. ALW: That’s the point isn’t it. TS: Yeah. ALW: Does that ever make you feel you want to be an actress? TS: I have no idea. When I was younger, I used to get questions like, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” I’d try to answer. As I get older, I’m learning that wisdom is learning how dumb you are compared to how much you are going to know. I really had an amazing time with Cats. I think I loved the weirdness of it. I loved how I felt I’d never get another opportunity to be like this in my life. ALW: It’s weird, what I’ve seen of the movie. TS: It’s decidedly weird [they laugh]. ALW: I think Tom [Hooper, the film’s director] has really tried to make something original. And I agree, I think as you get older you do become less sure of yourself and start to question what you can do. Would you consider doing a musical? TS: A musical? Absolutely, absolutely. ALW: Or writing your own? TS: That is way up there on my list of dreams. ALW: You should. TS: Was it really wonderful for you when you got the news that Judi Dench had accepted the role of Old Deuteronomy? ALW: Judi was in the original version in 1981 but she snapped her Achilles tendon and had to withdraw. Then I had this idea, which I ran past Tom, that we could make Old Deuteronomy a woman. Seeing her perform this time was quite an emotional thing for me, because it was a very, very sad day when she had to leave the original show. TS: She’s lovely. I remember being on set, and there is one scene that Idris [Elba, who plays Macavity] and I do with Judi, and someone walked up to me with this kind of gummy candy and I was like, “Oh, I’ve never had this before, this must be British candy, this is amazing.” I was raving about this candy so much, and Judi must have overheard me, because the next day I got to my dressing room and there was a signed photo from Judi and, like, six bags of it [they laugh]. Andrew, we both started young. What do we have in common from our experiences? What do you think was hard about it? And what was great? ALW: I suppose what was hard for me was that I was a fish out of the mainstream water. In the 1960s, to love musicals was as uncool as you could possibly be, and kids in my class at school would laugh at me. TS: I was the same. I loved country music and, where I was in school, the kids were just completely perplexed by that. It’s gotten more mainstream, but when I was a 13-year-old in Pennsylvania, I got similar reactions. Do you feel like you’re glad you were really young when you started? ALW: Yeah, are you? TS: I’m really glad, even though there are challenges to it – like you’re not allowed to make the same mistakes as everyone else because your mistakes are a commodity. ALW: And your mistakes are made in public. But we share something in common, in which we are extremely lucky. We both knew at an early age what we wanted to do, and most people in life don’t have a clue. TS: That’s very true. I think, also, a lot of the time when people see a career that they want it can be results-based. Rather than wanting to write musicals, they want to be a person who has written musicals. But when I see you work, I see you consistently creating and being curious about the next idea. You relish in the process even more than the rewards, which is the advice I would give anyone who wanted to do anything remotely close to this job. It cannot be about the results. ALW: It’s the process isn’t it? TS: It has to be. It’s supposed to be fun!
MEET & GREET: Introducing the faces behind this month’s issue
When it came to interviewing Taylor Swift about her musical-movie debut in Cats, there was only one man for the job: Andrew Lloyd Webber, composer of the original West End and Broadway mega hit. The two colossi of songwriting had plenty to discuss at a recording studio in north London – art, ambition and authenticity, plus what we can expect from the soon-to-be-released film.
Vogue: What was it like to work with Taylor? Andrew Lloyd Webber: She’s supremely professional and very charming with it. In my view, she could go far. Vogue: What was your first impression of her? ALW: She’s a lot taller than me, and a lot more attractive. Vogue: What’s your favourite Swift hit? ALW: “Blank Space” from the album 1989. It’s a great pop song with great lyrics.
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Jersey on my mind (part 35)
”So yeah, consider the mall a no go zone, unless we don’t bring a flamethrower or throw a couple of grenades in there first. It’s infested with walkers.”
Mila gives herself a moment to breathe and adjusts Juri’s position at her aching hip, feeling slightly sore from her falling into the crowd of walkers. Her attempt to conceal a groan of modest pain doesn’t go unnoticed and Juri hugs his little arms tightly around her neck, in an attempt to comfort her, just as she comforts him when he’s hurt.
Juri had had a good day; Carol had fixed him breakfast, lunch and snacks and then found a whole pack of new street crayons for him to play with. He’d kept himself busy the whole afternoon drawing. When he saw Mila and Daryl walk down the street, after returning from their eventful day out, he dropped the crayons and scurried up to them as fast as his short legs could carry him and threw himself into Mila’s arms.��
”Moya lyubov.” Mila exclaimed joyously and dug her nose into his hair. An immediate sensation of calm wrapped around her motherly heart when she felt him close and could inhale the scent of the soft skin in his neck. Was it even possible to be that soft? ”Moy malenkiy malchik.” She cooed. “My little boy.”
Juri pulled away and looked her in the eyes, let his crayon stained fingers run over her face, over her ears into her hair. He squished his nose towards hers and mimed ‘missed you’. Then he turned his small sunny face to Daryl, reached out his hand to invite him into the ‘welcome back’-hugging committee.
“Hey kiddo.”
Slightly awkwardly Daryl took Juri’s small hand into his big, dirty, and squeezed it, on which Juri placed his entire weight on Daryl’s big arm, giggling happily as Daryl lifted him from the ground. With a cheeky smile Juri clung like a little monkey to his forearm before he reached for Mila again.
With Juri clasping her neck like a boa constrictor, Mila got up from the ground, with an internal cry of distress; there and then, when the adrenaline rush subsided, she began to feel the effects of the drop throughout her body. She felt sore, but bull-headed as she was, she refused to admit it out loudly. Over her dead body! She had to deal with the self-inspection later, inspecting the outcome of their expedition in solitude, locked inside the bathroom while taking an invigorating shower.
While Juri smoldered her with affection, pointing out his crayon drawings of a blue smiling sun with freckles, his stuffed animals sunbathing and a couple of random shapes, apparently symbolizing different sorts of cars, Rick and Michonne came out of the house. From over the construction site of the wall, Aaron came running as well and joined them around Juri’s joyful street art. Daryl began to tell about the scouting, the unknown group of men who looted the gun shop and the mall, now infested with walkers. Every now and then while they were talking, Juri placed small light kisses on Mila’s neck, and when they came to the part, told in an as easy way as possible, where Daryl dropped her an entire floor into a hoard of walkers, Juri squeezed her neck to the point of where she thought he would hug her to unconsciousness.
“The looters who plundered the arms deal is probably a bigger problem.” She continues and looks at Daryl, who nods. Juri begins to twist and turn in her arm and Mila puts him down on the ground. “You never know.”
Rick sighs, puts his hands on his tight hips and puts weight on his right leg; proper displeased sheriff style.
“What do you think?” He looks at Daryl.
“Given the amount of ammunition-” Daryl raises his eyebrows slightly. “One doesn’t need that much ammunition unless there’s a threat. Or if they’re the threat.”
Mila grins a little at his words, literally borrowed from herself as they sat hiding in the bushes earlier.
“Okay-” Rick’s eyes wander around the gathered group as he contemplates Daryl’s words. “Gotta stay watchful from now on. If there’s another group out there, heavily armed, we’d better lie low.” The voice is calm but his eyes express something else. “We put out extra guards.” He turns his gaze downwards to Mila who has squatted down on the ground next to Juri. He has returned to his chubby street crayons and is in full action to draw a happy tree with red apples. “You sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Go to see Denise, just in case.” It’s not an order, but he says it firmly.
“I’m fine.” Mila emphasises and gets up. “Bit bruised, but I’ll be okay.”
“You’re bleedin’.” The sheriff nods and Mila looks down at her hand, that’s stained with blood. Her hand seems fine but her elbow does actually feel a bit sore. Rick smiles faintly at her and Daryl. “Make sure to patch that up.”
Then he turns and walks, with swaying cop-hips, towards the construction site at the wall.
“Good to have ya’ back.” Aaron smiles at them, then turns around and scurries after Rick.
Mila looks at Juri, completely rapt in his crayons and has forgotten that she’s even there; she’ll have to show him the things she got for him later. She then shifts her gaze to Daryl, who gives her a searching look.
“What?”
”Come on, ya’ need to be patched up.” He says.
”It’s a flesh wound.” Mila replies snappy.
”Those can get pretty nasty.” Michonne shrugs with an amused grin. “You heard the sheriff.”
“Thought you were the sheriff in your relationship?” Mila replies surly.
“Well then you should really listen to my advice.” The athletic woman in front of her winks at her. “Two against one, Jersey. Three, if Dixon’s on our side.”
“Bozhe moy, since when did you two turn all mother hen on me?” Mila rolls her eyes at her fierce friend and her beloved, broody archer. Then her eyes wander to the crossed swords sticking out from behind Michonne’s back. “Going somewhere?”
“A run.” Michonne shakes her head with a smile. “You’re not invited.”
“Fine, I didn't even want to go.”
“Sure.” Michonne gives her a soft, loving pat on the shoulder before starting to walk toward the gate. “Take care of her, Dixon.” She calls over her shoulder before turning round the corner.
Mila rolls her eyes and sighs. She’s fine!
“Hey, you're back!”
From the direction of the small hospital building, Glenn and Maggie come walking towards them, hand in hand, looking very much newly in love.
“How’d it go?” Maggie asks when they’re gathered around Juri’s drawings. “Looks like ya’ been stuck a dryer.”
As quickly and undramatically as possible, Mila recounts what happened during the run once again. But when Maggie and Glenn also say that she really should look over her arm, just in case, she sighs.
“You can’t be serious?” She laughs. “Once again, for the hundredth time, I’m fine.”
From his spot on the ground Juri nods in agreement; with a clever look he signs to her that he always must be examined after he’s fallen, so why should she not do the same? She smiles in response, but inside her head Mila curses herself for having brought up such a smart little person, too smart sometimes and absolutely way more clever than herself at that age. Who the heck was that guy she had a one night stand with, Einstein? However, that decides the matter.
“We’ll keep him company.” Maggie smiles and squats next to Juri. “Right?”
Juri nods with a grin and Glenn sits down at his other side, picks up a crayon and asks for instructions for what he should draw. Juri, excited by all the attention he’ll be smoldered with, waves at Mila to ‘go away, mommy’. Right now he wants to be at peace with his babysitters and draw.
“Hear ya’ kiddo.” Daryl winks at Juri and steers Mila towards the porch, up the stairs and into the house.
The downstairs is empty and quiet, everyone’s out doing their thing. He leads her on, up the stairs and into the bedroom, where Mila sits down onto the bed and Daryl starts to look for something to patch her up with.
“There’s bandaids and stuff in the cabinet.” Mila calls when he starts to rummage around in the bathroom. “Top shelf.”
She stretches out her arm a little and feels a stinging, aching sensation shoot out of her usually fine elbow. She managed to hit every goddamn nerve it feels like, but at least it doesn’t seem to be broken. Daryl returns with a towel and the first aid kit box, filled with bandages, plasters, scissors and tape and sits down in front of Mila, in the chair she uses as an extra wardrobe.
”Get that off.” Daryl nods at her leather jacket.
Once again Mila sighs, but does as she’s told; she swears as she pulls her arm out of the jacket, exposing a laceration on her elbow. The skin is cracked and the dried blood has stuck towards the satin lining of the jacket.
“Gotta clean that up.” Daryl looks around the box. “Some alcohol or somethin’-”
“Under the bed.” Mila says and scratches her nose. “There’s a bottle in there somewhere.”
Daryl leans forward, his head touches her knees as he puts his hand under the bed. When he sits up again he’s got a bottle of vodka in his hand. It ain’t the first time she has cleaned bruises and wounds with booze, especially vodka; might be an illusion but it somehow feels like they heal faster after a lavish splash of Russian Standard.
”I’m fine.” Mila repeats with emphasis, as Daryl places the towel on his knee and shakes the liquor bottle. “Really.”
”Bite the bullet.” Daryl removes the lid from the bottle. “It’s gonna sting.” He grabs her arm, turns it upwards over the towel and pours the clear liquid over her cracked elbow. Mila flinches and twitches, swears as nasty as she possibly can in both Russian and English. ”Quit squirmin’!” reluctantly Mila quits squirm, jibbers in Russian as reply. ”Well ya don’t want it infected do ya?” Daryl says, almost commanding. ”Hold still, christ.”
Mila lifts her eyebrows. Woha, did he actually order her something? It might be the adrenaline rush, or the fact that they didn’t finish what they started earlier at that chair in the store, but it’s kinda rousing.
“Fine.” She mutters.
“Sorry.” Daryl murmurs. “Ya’ flunder about like a fish on dry land.”
“No offense taken.” Mila says, listening with half an ear, while feeling her body temperature increase and her breasts tingles pleasantly. Despite the injured elbow she definitely has to end what they started, pronto, or she might explode! “Sorry too ‘bout before.” He says. “Droppin’ ya-”
“That wasn’t your fault.” Mila interrupts. “Just- don’t. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
The fact that he’s so terribly caring doesn’t calm her arousement for a second. Daryl wipes the wound with a piece of bandage, then tosses it on the floor before he starts to wrap her elbow tightly with the rest of the bandage.
”There. As new.” He throws the towel into the bathroom. “It ain’t broken at least.”
”Ten points in nursing.” Mila looks at the bandaging and the corners of Daryl’s mouth turns upwards slightly, in a so called smile.
He stands up, ready to put away the first aid kit, but he pauses when he meets Mila’s eyes.
“What?”
”How long we got before they’ll look for us?” Light as a feather, Mila lets her fingers caress the crotch of his pants. ”Glenn and Maggie-”' Judging by the impressive effect her light touch has, she comes to the conclusion that he didn’t feel completely done over at the mall either. She bites her lower lip, smiles. ”You heard what they said. Take good care of me.”
He groans faintly, but doesn’t seem entirely sure about her suggestion, throwing glances towards the window before seemingly making his mind up. Softly he shuts the bedroom door, before shifting all his attention at her. He drops the first aid kit on the bedside table, then digs his hand into her tousled hair, bends down and gently, hesitating, presses his tongue into her mouth. Mila can’t evade to let out a moan as she feels his twirling tongue softly exploring hers and pulls him closer. Without breaking the kiss Daryl puts a strong arm around her waist, lifts her from the bed and sinks down on it himself. Gently he backs her up towards the bed frame, continues to explore her body with his free hand as she starts unbuttoning his shirt.
“What about that dress?” He groans.
”You really think we have time for that now?” Mila pants with a smile through their frantic kissing, wishing more than anything that they’d had at least an hour for themselves.
“Shh.” Daryl says husky through their kissing. “We’re wastin’ time.”
If he says so. Mila breaks the kiss by the time she’s done with the worn shirt buttons and rips the dark fabric apart, while Daryl lifts her t-shirt and bra over her head, exposing her breasts. His lips travel down to her neck and they once again fall down onto the bed. As their bodies collide she feels his erection banging through the pants for attention. They start a frenzy undressing process, ripping clothes from each other while unbuttoning and unzipping pants. Cargos and jeans are thrown on the floor as well as a pair of lace underwear. Despite being horny to the point of not feeling anything else than that, Mila still notices, when she lies there all naked, that she’s more bruised than she thought. She was maybe lucky after all.
”That’s five.” While placing his hand between her legs, Daryl starts to fondle her, biting her lower lip.
”Thought you didn’t keep time.” Mila teases and lets out a moan when the touch of his hand sends shivers from the tip of her toes to the top of her head.
He pauses, holds himself up with the elbow and looks at her as he nudges his knee in-between her legs. Mila eagerly pulls him towards her, expresses with all of her being that she needs him now, badly. He adjusts himself and smoothly enters her body. With a moan, Mila closes her eyes and bends her head backward to the headboard as he reaches her core. She lifts her leg, wraps it around him, allowing him to reach even deeper as she pushes him closer.
“Oh shi- yes!” She exhales in something between a moan and an ecstatic laugh.
Daryl digs his feet down the soft bedspread and continues, deep and determined, to move his hips, thrusting into her; his eyes are fixated at hers, hazy with pleasure, growing more desperate for each second it seems. He puts his hand on her left shoulder, uses it as a leverage to get even deeper.
”Oh my god” Mila gasps and stretches her neck backwards while fumbling with her right hand, doesn’t know what to hold on to, until she grabs a hold of the sheet. ”Oh shit!”
This is way better than doin’ it on a lousy chair in an abandoned, almost pitch black mall, she manages to think in between the thrusts that make her eyes roll back in her head with pleasure. With a firm grip round her thigh, not decreasing the pace, Daryl lowers his head, rests his forehead against hers.
“I love ya’” He pants husky in a low voice. “I fuckin’ love ya’”.
The impact of words; She feels a rush of delight flow throughout her entire body, her pussy contracts and she closes her eyes, clings to the sheets to the point of her knuckles turning white as she reaches the peak. He releases himself into her with a loud groan before burying his face into her neck with a last deep thrust.
”Shhh-” Mila hushes, very vaguely and not very convincing; her voice being slightly louder than a whisper and it breaks as Daryl pushes his hips into her again, really cementing himself into her core.
Daryl gets up on his elbows and looks down at her, the long brown bangs wet with sweat.
”Ya’ think you’re the one to hush?” He pants and swallows.
Before Mila answers, they both turn their heads to the left, as the door knob rattles and is turned. The door opens and Glenn’s face turns from its usually relaxed state to pale as the bed sheet and his eyes widens to double their size.
“What the-” Glenn’s pale face turns red in merely a second. He swears and throws up his hands in front of his face. “Fuck- shit-”
“What the heck’s wrong with ya!” Daryl barks, somewhat pantingly, at Glenn, while Mila covers herself as best as she can, unable to utter a word. “The fuc- get outta here!” He scoffs and waves his arm at Glenn who almost falls backwards as he stumbles out in the corridor again, while searching for the door handle with closed eyes. “Fuckin’ hell!”
The door slams shut and Mila feels a burst of hysterical laughter build up inside her body, but she does her best not to start laughing; Daryl looks anything but amused.
“I didn’t see shit, man! I swear!” Glenn calls through the shut door.
“Don’t ya’ fuckin’ knock before opening doors!?” Daryl once again barks, angry to the point of him almost shivering. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. “Son of a-”
“Yes- no, I mean yes!”
“Well why the fuck didn’t ya do it ya moron?!”
“I- I…” Glenn clears his throat. “Sorry, man. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah ya’ better be-”
“We- eh, we’ll set up for dinner over at the wall.” Glenn continues, in an attempt to sound just as usual, only slightly more high pitched. It doesn’t really work. “Some of the others have started to prepare soup...”
Daryl’s about to climb out of bed and, in all his naked sweaty glory, rip the door open and ask Glenn to beat it. But Mila digs her fingers into his strong, tensed arms and prevents him from going anywhere.
“That sounds- great! Great.” She hollers towards the door, in an attempt to ease the strained situation. “We’re on our way.”
“Ouch! Ya’ have bony sharp fingers.” Daryl exclaims, while hasty walking footsteps on the other side of the door, tattles that Glenn has fled the field, downstairs. “Great!” Daryl sighs. “Just fuckin’ great.”
“I think we did pretty good, loverboy.” Mila grins. “If you’ll excuse, I and the rest of that bottle of vodka have to take a shower.”
#jersey on my mind#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl x oc#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixon x oc#twd daryl#twd#twd fanfiction#twd fanfic#the walking dead fanfic#the walking dead fandom#the walking dead fanficition
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What do you think of Lorenz? I see him as a interessant character, I think that he has been abused emotionally (and maybe beaten) by his father. (Hilda herself says that Lorenz's dad is scary). Lorenz, pre-timeskip, seems be very under his father's control. Spying Claude, searches a wife, ect...The saddest thing is that he doesn't see why girls complains, he's even shocked. He points that his father will be angry if the deer lost, ect...(1)
Well first off I think you and I have very different reads on Lorenz and his family situation on the whole.
I like Lorenz! I went in pretty much expecting that I was going to hate him, and his C supports generaly solidified that impression...but then I started getting through his B supports, and realized that there’s actually a lot more to him than I’d expected. By the time I hit his A supports I was very fond of him, and he’s one of the characters who I think best shows that IntSys can write effective character growth throughout the game as a whole, even though they generally don’t (I’m looking at you, Sylvain).
But I don’t think that Lorenz is an abuse victim by any means, and I’m struggling to figure out where that even comes from.
Just because someone says a person is “scary” doesn’t mean they’re abusive -- heck, a lot of people say Dedue is scary, and he’s one of the gentlest people that we meet in the game. We could make a case that Caspar is an abuse victim because he is clearly terrified of his father, and we have a case that Bernadetta is because she directly states what her father’s done to her; we don’t really have that kind of ammo for Lorenz since he clearly admires his father and gets excited when the man hands an important task off to him since it means that he’s being trusted with responsibilities that affect the Gloucester territory. Hilda has no insight into the Gloucester family’s affairs, so I don’t think it’s fair to jump immediately to the conclusion that Lorenz is being abused just because, in her personal opinion, his dad is scary.
Also, Lorenz doesn’t seem to be doing anything because his father’s told him to. He’s not spying on Claude because his dad wants him to, it’s because Lorenz personally has ambitions to head up the Alliance at the roundtable, and Claude is not only in the way of that ambition, his history is extremely sketchy; Lorenz can make a case that he’s just looking out for the Alliance’s best interests. (That’s bullshit, of course, especially given his B support with Claude, but still, he could do it and probably has.) He admits that his father advised him to keep an eye on Claude, but the fact is that Lorenz seemed to suspect him well before that and his dad just agreed that it was a good idea.
He’s also not looking for a wife because his father told him to, it’s because he believes that making a solid match will help to elevate House Gloucester’s standing: much like Dorothea, who’s only looking to get married so that she can ensure she never has to go back to the streets, Lorenz looks at marriage for the broader benefits it provides him and his name -- and notably, he’s not just looking for nobility, he specifically wants a partner who will be able help him bring the Alliance together, rather than just someone who looks pretty or has a Crest the way that Kingdom nobles do (see Ingrid’s arranged marriage to Glenn). While he’s certainly shocked that the girls at the monastery aren’t taking well to his advances, I think that’s more attributable to him being pretty self-absorbed in the Academy Phase.
I also think it’s a pretty big stretch to say that his father would be angry if the Golden Deer lost (since I’m guessing you’re talking about the Battle of the Eagle and Lion mission in the Academy Phase). His exact quote doesn’t say anything about him believing his father would take a loss badly -- it’s just about how winning the battle is an honor:
I received a rare letter from my father recently. He said that he is praying for the Golden Deer House to emerge victorious. Insistently praying. My father attended the Officers Academy, and won a glorious victory in the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. I think he is quite proud of that, even to this day. I suppose that shows how great an honor it truly is.
So while Lorenz certainly wants to win and make his father’s prayers come to pass, there’s no implication that Lorenz is going to suffer -- he just wants to achieve the same honor that his father did and carry on the tradition of victory.
In the War Phase, Lorenz hasn’t really “broken free” of anything -- except the Empire’s control, depending on which route you’re playing. Lorenz has always been someone who is very keenly aware of the fact that playing nice with the Empire is in the best interests of both his family and the people in their territory, because Gloucester’s holdings are very close to the Imperial border, which means they’d be the first to suffer if the Empire thought the Alliance was a threat. Gloucester’s pro-Imperial stance is a self-defense mechanism, something that’s clearly stated by Lorenz himself when he fights Byleth at Myrrdin (emphasis mine):
It's been a while, Professor. If this were anywhere but a battlefield, I would offer you tea. I've no choice but to follow the Empire, if I wish to live. I hope you will not think ill of me.
Gloucester allies with the Empire because they’re the ones at the most risk from an Imperial invasion. By maintaining a pro-Imperial stance even when the Alliance itself remains neutral in the conflict, they can at least keep their autonomy and mitigate the risk of invasion. It’s smart, considering that they’re the ones in the most danger should Imperial troops come in -- just look at what happened to their neighbors in Ordelia territory when they willingly sided with Hyrm in their rebellion. And the fact is that when Lorenz is recruited, he says that he can convince his father. This is his quote when you persuade him to join:
You're inviting me to join you? But...to abandon House Gloucester... No--I can convince my father. I will help you topple the Empire, I swear it!
Lorenz isn’t talking about wresting control away from his father or giving up his noble name and title: he believes completely that he can bring his father to the anti-Imperial side. That, more than anything, says a lot to me about the nature of his relationship with his father: the man listens to him and not only can but will take his son’s advice on matters as important as the fate of House Gloucester.
As a character, Lorenz has always had a powerful sense of noble duty, right up there with literal ray of sunshine Ferdinand von Aegir -- it just doesn’t present in the same way. While he appears stuck-up and self-centered, Lorenz has some frankly radical views of the nobility’s purpose in the world, based on his B support with Catherine:
The motivation to revolt can only come from discontent with the nobility. But if the people are well protected, and enjoy peaceful and happy lives, there is no such motive. Thus, if such a revolt does occur, the nobility must be held accountable.
This is something that catches her off guard, because she never expected to agree with him. And the thing is, I think it’s fair to attribute some of this -- if not most of these core ideals -- to his father, since we know for a fact that Leonie’s village is in Gloucester territory, and it was Count Gloucester who hired Jeralt to deal with poachers in their territory (which ultimately led to Leonie wanting to be a mercenary):
Lorenz: ...It is a noble’s duty to give to the commonfolk. In return, the commoner need only pay respect. Leonie: That’s nice. You left out the part where the nobles take all the stuff the regular folks make. Lorenz: Yes, the commonfolk give the fruits of their labor—willingly I might add—as a token of that respect. The head of Sauin Village offers his tribute in exactly that spirit, you know. Leonie: Sauin? That’s...my village. You knew? Lorenz: Of course. We granted exclusive hunting rights to Sauin, and forbade outsiders from poaching. In fact, when we received complaints of just that, we hired mercenaries to deal with the issue.
So I think it’s fair to say that Lorenz is getting his views on the noble ideal from his father -- not just from his words, but from his personal examples.
This is not to say that Count Gloucester is a good guy on the whole. That would be a lie: let’s not forget who orchestrated the death of Duke von Riegan’s heir (Claude’s uncle). But the thing about Lorenz is that he is stepping beyond his father: he takes what he’s taught and builds all this into an ideal of what a noble is, and therefore what he should be, and strives constantly to meet it. He learns throughout the game and his supports to admit when he’s wrong or lacking, and work toward improving himself -- that’s frankly the whole underlying message of his A support with Claude. Claude points out that Lorenz isn’t trying to prey on the Alliance, he’s trying to make it into something better and more unified, and Lorenz admits that he’s not capable of doing that yet because he’s still missing some of Claude’s skills necessary to lead the Alliance properly. His dad might be willing to stoop to underhanded methods to advance the family’s position -- but not his son.
So yeah, I really don’t agree that Lorenz is an abuse victim. I don’t see any textual evidence to give me that impression, and honestly, we have more than enough abuse cases in the game already. I’d much rather let Lorenz be someone with a decent home life who grows on his own merits.
#answered#anonymous#fire emblem: three houses#lorenz#also what's the point of bringing up his end card with claude?#i do not ship them by any means#it's honestly a notp for me#the fact that i see claude as aroace is beside the point#as is the fact that i prefer lorenz with somoene else#but it does nothing to help the apparent argument you're trying to make#seriously though just let lorenz be someone with ideals#who is constantly growing and striving to better himself#not some poor abuse victim#anyway i'll get off my soapbox now
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🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊
Y'think thats enough pens? Either way I don't expect you to do somethin for aaaaaaaaaall of em lol
Gsudkblbzysuv hun, this is so beautifully chaotic!
🖋 Ginger's a vampire but both of her dads (Lee Grimm and Glenn Grimm) are werewolves (Mist Walkers). Both are trans men.
🖋 Jelani uses male, neutral or female pronouns. Has no preference to which ones someone should use.
🖋 Trevor knows ASL. His little brother was deaf and in his memory he learned ASL.
🖋 Angelus sorta, kinda had a daughter. Ok tl;dr back in the late 1800s he ran into this little girl that was living in the street and tried to steal some money off him but she got caught. He gave her everything he had on him and then she ran off and he lost track of her. Much later he found her again but this time she was a bit older, like 11 years old. They recognized each other and they both went to get a bite to eat and she told him she ran away from home because her parents were abusive. Obviously coming from a similar background he heavily sympathized but he didn't know the first thing about kids but he still took her in. She grew up, married and had kids of her own and those kids grew up and eventually his adopted daughter (her name was Alice) grew old and died of old age. He kept in contact with his sort of grandkids obviously but as his great grandkids grew older and had families and kids of their own Angelus distanced himself. How the fuck are ya gonna explain your sort of adoptivr great grandfather looks like a 20 year old twink? He's kept an eye out on them as a "friend of the family".
🖋 AJ introduced Angelus, Mahmud, Tre and Madison to his favorite hobby: parkour. The five of them regularly get together to free run in places they think would be both challenging and fun.
🖋 Madison introduced Mahmud, AJ, Tre and Xiomara to spelunking and scuba diving as a hobby.
🖋 Sanaa loves and collects windchimes. So Ingvarr modified an alarm clock to make any chime she puts on it chime whenever she sets the alarm. So instead of some jarring alarm she wakes up to a windchime.
🖋 Angelus has an abnormally high tolerance for pain to the point where he won't react to most injuries. This was due to years of having to learn to control his cries of pain because the more he cried out the harder he'd get beaten.
🖋 Trevor holds the world record for longest confirmed sniper kill. Can't be found in any public record but it's in Oracle records and that's good enough for him.
🖋 Jelani (Loke and Jela's grandad, not J lol) and Subira made a spell called "Bright Light". Basically a faint little orb of light that when cast makes anyone near it calm down. It works for regular nervousness, anxiety, panic attacks, anger and so on. It's one of those beginner type spells that barely requires any energy and it can either hover over the caster's palm or it can be "attached" to an object.
🖋 Sunniva (she was Ingvarr's first wife and the woman who gave birth to Loke) is still alive. After she became pregnant she heavily regretted it so that's why as soon as Loke was born she ran away without telling anyone anything. Loke was always told that she disappeared but honestly speaking he never knew her so he has no attachment to her. To him Sanaa is HIS mother and only her.
🖋 Latoya was what you would consider a sickly kid. Someone in another country sneezed and she got sick. Her colds and flus lasted longer than usual and she was a super skinny little girl. When puberty hit she took up sports and when she was 18 she started lifting weights, blew up in terms of muscle tone and got laser eye surgery. Now she's like Rambo in his prime but pretty.
🖋 Abigail is constantly coloring her hair different colors but her favorite is any hue of green since that's her favorite color. She'll also help and color anyone else's if they ask her for help.
🖋 Ginger and Abigail got married on October 13th. Yes, the wedding had a Victorian goth theme to it. Even though they couldn't eat it the cake was red velvet with black frosting and everything. It almost looked like a funeral 'cause everyone was wearing black. I hope to doodle Ginger and Abby in their wedding dresses someday.
🖋 Haakon had a habit of collecting leaves from different countries he visited and kept them safe. Ingvarr and Jørgen both keep journals with leaves of different countries they've visited. They write down the tree the leaf came from, country where they got it from and date.
🖋 Anette can't drive until she's 21. When she was 14 she took Jelani's car, drove her and a bunch of her friends super late at night in winter (from what I've read driving in Norway during winter is horrible), crashed into another car after she lost control, totalled both Jelani's car and the other car and severely injured some of her friends and the other driver. The funny/not funny part is Jela was planning on giving her that car when she got her license but she totalled it. It was BMW by the way. Fuckin' teenager driving around in a 2 year old Beemer lol.
🖋 Speaking of cars. Grete (Anette's mother and Loke and Jelani's aunt) is horribly afraid of driving. She can't get behind the wheel of a car without freaking out. Anette crashing made the fear 10x worse. She can be in a car as long as she isn't driving and the car isn't going too fast.
🖋 During a visit Anette convinced both her parents and Jelani to let her stay with him during the summer. She also convinced both Leah and Xolani to stay over as well. So for a whole ass summer Jelani had three teenagers staying over as a kind of sleep over vacation. It actually turned out fun in the end, the kids had fun and Anette and her rebellious attitude kinda softened.
🖋 Anette, Xolani and Leah have one defining thing in common. None of them know what to do with the rest of their lives. Thing is Leah is very nervous about it, Xolani is kind of aloof about it and Anette is kinda of frustrated about it. Anette is frustrated which leads her to act out and cause trouble. Xolani just looks like they don't care but they do. Leah is super nervous about it. Another thing they got in common is the three of them tend to look up to Loke and Jelani 'cause they feel both understand them better than their parents do.
🖋 Ginger is kinda very obsessed with portals. She's fascinated by them but also respects them as they are incredibly dangerous and unpredictable. She is basically the only person in the world that managed to control portals even if it's for a short amount of time.
🖋 Shaine got really into explosives when she was just a kid. After an accident with a dozen cherry bombs she was left partially deaf, now has to wear a hearing aid and is the explosives expert.
🖋 Before joining Oracle Katya financed her transition by making fake IDs and passports. She also doxxed corrupt government officials and ransomed vital information she got off them.
🖋 Loke is allergic to bird dandruff but would love to have a pet pigeon. At least he can have dogs which is his other favorite animal. His favorite dog is the pitbull.
🖋 Until he got together with Jelani all of Angelus's previous relationships were short and ended in kind of disaster because he constantly compared them all to Jelani and to him they didn't measure up. He ultimately said no to relationships around the 1930s and just fucked around. Obviously until he got shit faced once and confessed to Jelani he was in love with him and the rest is history.
🖋 Tre is one of the super rare seers that can see and feel visions. He's so sensitive that merely standing in an area with a lot of energy could affect him.
🖋 In Oracle there is a head of the organization and two leaders. Current head is Aleksey with Jelani and Angelus as leaders. There's always three as kind of a callback let's call it to when Oracle was started. Aleksey and two close friends started it so from then on there's always 3 leads. When Aleksey steps down Jelani will be head, Ginger will be the second lead and Angelus is the third lead, however he plans on making Trevor the third lead. The reason is because Angelus is fully aware of what he can and can't do and he knows damn well that he isn't lead of an organization material. When he steps down he'd be the Trickster team leader, that he can handle, and since Trevor left a vacant spot Loke would take that spot.
🖋 There is a place called Kironia. It's theorized to be a sort of epicenter for portal activities. Angelus and Ginger have been tasked with keeping an eye on it but it's shrouded in so much mystery most people don't think it's real.
🖋 Despite the fact that Trevor personally knows a Maker and a goddess (Jade, Latoya's girlfriend) he's still an athiest.
🖋 Trevor didn't have a name growing up, he chose the name Trevor because it sounded pleasant. He took his surname, Ravencroft, from a woman he'd heard of from other Oracle agents. He eventually got to meet Morgana Ravencroft, she thought it was flattering he took her name.
🖋 Speaking of Morgana Ravencroft, Angelus was first introduced to the concept of magic because of her. He went with Trevor to help him with some supplies and after being completely hypnotized by some illusions she gave him a book on the basics and helped him get started.
🖋 Loke stopped aging and it's something of a weird occurrence that is brought up every so often. When he was 28 years old he and Jelani (who was 15 at the time) were delivering some supplies to another village. They ran into bandits and as usual Loke was trying to protect Jelani and in doing so he was fatally wounded. Of course Jelani freaked the fuck out and his "fail safe" kicked in. Jela doesn't remember but Loke does, he saw Jelani change form and after dealing with the bandits he turned his attention to Loke and stopped him from dying. He was rusty as fuck so he put a little more oomph behind it and a tiny portion of his energy slipped into Loke. Neither of them know but Loke is basically kinda frozen in time when it comes to aging. So because of this Loke can't die unless Jelani dies.
🖋 Loke has a black feather that's warm to the touch and small embers can be seen floating out of it. He's never mentioned it to anyone and keeps it close to him. The feather came from Jelani when he changed form to fight off the bandits. After he blacked out and changed back Loke found the feather on the ground. He knew where it came from that's why he kept it. He's never told Jelani about that day because he doesn't know what it means and he thinks telling him would only serve to confuse him further.
🖋 Continuing with Loke, he's your average run of the mill berserker. That means he cannot use magic while in berserker mode or even with his weapons. The only ones that can do that are arcanist berserkers (the Nyota tribe). Sanaa is an arcanist berserker, she can use magic while in berserker mode. However, through years of practice Sanaa managed to teach Loke one spell that her people are really fond of. Falling Stars is a spell that has the user charge a single arrow. The arrow is shot upwards and as soon as it reaches high enough it splits into hundreds of arrows that rain down on the target. Loke started practicing when he was 8 years old and by the age of 30 he managed to pull it off making him the first berserker to use magic.
🖋 Jelani and Leah are two of the extremely rare and fortunate people that have gone through a portal and have returned. Whether their return was sheer luck or the fact that he's a Maker is something I'll elaborate on later.
🖋 Haakon knew Jelani wasn't a berserker. Haakon himself had a feeling that his grandson was something far more, if that makes sense. The day Jela was born Haakon had a dream but instead of fear he just felt an insurmountable amount of wonder. He's only ever told his wife, Eli, who in turn believed him. Both always made sure Jela didn't feel out of place and Haakon frequently encouraged him.
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The Deal Chapter 7
GREENE FARM~DAY AFTER DARYL’S NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY
I woke up next to Daryl in an actual bed! Feeling amazed at the luxury, after all the nap I’d taken during Carl’s trauma was more of the pass-out not aware type of sleep, I cuddled into Daryl’s side. The side he hadn’t pierced with one of his own arrows. I felt him shift under me and chuckled.
“You are the world’s worst patient, Daryl Dixon.” I whispered, glancing up at him. I’d managed, through sheer force of will, to get him to agree to a sponge bath after dinner. And I even convinced him to let me run back to our tent for a change of clothes for him. Now all the gunk and blood was clear from him, and I had a promise that he’d take advantage of Hershel’s offer of a shower, as soon as he was given the ok.
He groaned after my statement, looking down at me with his version of a pout. Which meant he was glaring at me. “And ya can be a naggin’ nurse, Jessica Grimes.” He grunted, softening his irritation by kissing my forehead. “Don’t know why I had to let ya clean me up last night.” He muttered.
I gave him a look. “As I recall, you didn’t seem to mind during that washing.” I raised an eyebrow as I remembered locking the door and taking my time to be very thorough.
Daryl shrugged, but I could see him fighting a smile. “It wasn’t completely horrible.” He answered, looking at the lace curtains covering the windows. “Might even let ya help me in the shower, since I’m injured and all.”
I laughed and crawled from the bed to find Hershel. I wanted to make sure that Daryl was ok to come back to our tent. He wasn’t going to rush, whether he liked it or not. I found the farmer on the porch, enjoying the morning. He assured me that Daryl would be fine to return to his daily routine, barring stealing another horse. I chuckled and thanked him after he told me Daryl could shower the next day.
Returning to the invalid’s room, I found Andrea offering him a novel and Daryl warning her that if she ever shot at him again, he “best be dead.” I nodded, and then looked up at her. “If you don’t know how to properly handle a weapon, perhaps Dale was right, and you shouldn’t have one.” I glared at her before she could open her mouth for one of her glorious retorts. “Leave.”
Daryl was watching me closely as I sat down on the bed. “She fucked up, Jessi, but we’ve all fucked up one time or another.” He said, taking my hand in his. “Let it go, I have.”
I shot him a look and he smiled. “Ever fuck up and nearly kill someone?” He just stared at me. “Because that’s what Andrea did. She couldn’t see through the glare of the sun, and she shot at you. She was aiming for that thick head of yours, Dixon. If she was better with weapons, you’d be dead. And so would she.” It was a statement and I meant every single word of it. “Jessi,” he whispered, clearly not expecting the force of my reaction to the situation. “Baby, I’m OK. She didn’t kill me, hell, I did worse to myself yesterday.” He was trying to calm me, but this was one topic that it wouldn’t work.
I pulled my hand free from his and leaned closer to his face. Cupping it between my hands, I stared into his eyes. “You’re not dead because of her lack of skill, Daryl. That’s not a win, not when I know Dad will insist everyone learn their weapons better. You’re not dead because Dad hasn’t had a chance to teach her up.” I sighed and ran my thumbs along his cheeks. “She isn’t right for this world, I know it, and it’s going to get someone killed.”
His hand slid to cover mine, holding me to his face. “Then we watch her.” He agreed. “We make sure that she doesn’t screw up. Jessi, you can’t just get rid of people because they’re-”
“Dangerous?” I scoffed. “That’s what Andrea is, it’s what Shane is. They’re both ticking time bombs, the only question in my mind? Which one blows first?”
HOURS LATER~OUTSIDE OUR TENT
Daryl and I had agreed to disagree on the Andrea situation. His let bygones be bygones made me want to scream, but I understood it too. This new life, with walkers trying to kill us, and people not much better, made some strong. Unfortunately, Daryl felt that we just had to train up the weakest to make them better suited.
I did agree with the sentiment. For instance, Carol would probably learn to survive. Dale? Well, Dale was pretty much a hippy type, but if it came to killing walkers, he was game. That was a mark in his favor. His fear of ending a human’s life, however, was going to end up problematic. People, I could tell, were going to be just as dangerous to us as walkers. I mean, Dad told us what happened in Atlanta with the “gang” he’d halved the gun supply with, and let’s not forget Dr. Jenner.
Here’s my list for people in our group who would probably learn to survive better: Daryl Dad Shane (that kills me to admit) Me Carl Glenn (he’d be higher on the list, but he wasn’t raised by my dad) Lori (iffy, she’s still a little timid) T-Dog Carol (once we find Sofia, or we put the poor child to rest, whichever) Dale (once his bleeding heart savior shit is put in its place) Andrea
That’s how it would work, in order of best chances to least. See who’s last? Yeah, because she’s not going to make it. Even if she learns, she’s going to still make the stupidest decisions and then we’ll be the ones to clean it up or take the hit. I didn’t share the list with Daryl. Because honestly, I think he might have taken it as a personal challenge to prove me wrong. That and his head would grow three sizes too big to fit through the door of the tent, since he outranked my dad in the pecking order.
He was happy to hear about the shower. Whether it was the actual bathing, or the fact that he was going to do his damndest to get me in that hot water with him, I’m not sure.
We spent the day listening as Dad planned to take the group shooting (told you so), and then work on the areas surrounding where Daryl found Sofia’s doll. Daryl, I was happy to notice, would be staying back with me. I begged off the shooting practice by holding up my bow to my dad. He laughed and rolled his eyes, but walked away without a fight. Daryl was watching me and I saw his interest in my response and I knew he was wondering if I could use a gun.
“I can shoot guns, Daryl.” I answered him before he could form the question. “My dad was a sheriff’s deputy in the south. Of course, I’m proficient in gun use.” I rolled my eyes.
He gave one of those gruff chuckles I loved. “Didn’t want to give yourself a little practice? Practice makes-”
“Perfect, yeah, I might have heard that before.” I watched his eyes grow darker at the memory of the last time I was told about it.
I ran over to the RV to see if Dale needed help with watching over us all on the roof. I’d rather be with Daryl, but I also knew that every little bit helps. It’s how I caught Glenn acting twitchier than usual and asking Dale if Andrea might be on her period because she was acting crazy.
He actually thought, and I quote, “I’m only asking ’cause it’s like all the women are acting really weird. And…and I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”
I coughed and he realized that I was standing nearby. “I can attest that I am NOT currently having my period, but thanks for asking, Glenn.” I grinned at his blush. “Andrea’s off her rocker most days, as for the OTHER ladies,” I raised an eyebrow to remind him that I knew who he was thinking of, “I’m sure that’s not the issue either. We’re dealing with the apocalypse, dude, what did you expect?”
Dale grinned at me and agreed. “I’m gonna advise you to keep your theory to yourself.”
I nodded, “Telling a woman she’s PMS crazy brings out a whole new round of nuts.”
Glenn, far from looking reassured, looked more twitchy. What the hell?
“Want to tell me what’s going on?” Dale asked, and I nearly walked away, but thought I might want to hear the answer.
“You’re old.” Glenn started, and I closed my eyes at the poor boy’s tact. “You’re… you know things. So what if someone told you something that someone else should know…”
I rolled my eyes as Dale told him to stop being dramatic and spit it out.
“There’s...there’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant.” He spit it out alright, and I nearly did too. Fuck, WHAT?
“WHAT?!” I had to keep myself from screaming. They both remembered I was standing near them and who I was. “I’m guessing Dad doesn’t know?”
Glenn shook his head. I ran my hands over my face. Fuck, this was bad. Bad, bad, bad. Dale asked if he should speak to Hershel, and I considered it. Having Hershel explain himself to Dad would be MUCH better than one of us. I nodded. As for Lori? There’s no chance that baby is my dad’s. NONE. Great, a baby Shane. Unless Dad raised it. Wasn’t there proof that nurture was JUST as important as nature?
“About Lori,” Glenn started and I held up a hand.
“She can figure it out,” I said, trying to school my features from shock to whatever I could manage. I shook my head. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear this entire mess of a conversation. Dale? Do you need me to stand watch?” He shook his head and I walked away.
Finding Daryl sitting by our tent, I knew he’d be able to tell something was wrong, but I hoped I could distract us both. His smile made those damn butterflies in my stomach start up again. It was better than the nausea Glenn’s news made me feel.
“Wondered where ya got off to.” He said, patting the ground beside him, but I shook my head.
“Had to make sure Dale didn’t need help with watch.” I offered and he nodded. Standing he loomed by the tree he had been sitting against.
“Does he?” He asked, and I shook my head again. “So what’re we gonna get into all alone while they’re gone?”
I raised an eyebrow and was gratified when he rushed to me and smothered any further conversation with a burning kiss. I sighed into him, trying desperately to be careful of his wounded side.
“I’d really like to carry ya inside the tent,” he whispered against my lips.
I smiled at the thought of it. “If you screw up those stitches, I’ll catch hell from Hershel.” I giggled and took his hand. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of walking with you inside the tent, Daryl.”
The others were gone, except Dale, Carol, Glenn, and the Greene family. And entering our tent, I watched as Daryl groaned and lay back on our sleeping bags. I knew this killed him, being at anyone’s mercy, even mine. Yet, I loved that he trusted me enough to allow it. I bit my lip and looked down at him, fully clothed and clean, thank God. I could still see the ear necklace and all the blood and gore from the day before.
“What’re ya lookin’ at?” He asked, his gruff voice husky and his eyes barely squinting to take me in.
I smiled and laid down beside him. “You, Daryl Dixon, I was looking at you.” I ran my hand up his chest, careful of the bandaged side. “And I was wondering something.”
I knew his eyes were closed without looking, because I felt him sigh into my soft touch. “What’s that?”
“Why was your mouth coated in blood yesterday?” I asked, sitting up on my elbow to look down at him. I saw him grimace slightly, ut-oh.
“I might of eaten a squirrel,” he stopped and wouldn’t look at me, “raw.”
Ugh, I thought, I’d kissed you yesterday and hadn’t even noticed. “Ah.” Was all I said, and I felt him twitch. “Remind me to never ask that question again.”
He chuckled at that. “So tough, but won’t even eat meat straight from the source. It was still warm-like.” He shook his head and met my eyes as I grimaced. “Should have warned ya, but your kiss was all I could think about on the way back.”
“I can’t fault that logic.” I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him again. When I pulled back, his eyes were more black than blue. “Since you’re injured, I should probably take care of you, right?” I asked, we had been so focused on our first night together that we’d never gotten to much more than the full act, so I wanted to be sure.
I watched his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow. He nodded and that was all I needed to get into caretaker mode. I gave him a smile and began kissing down his neck, flicking against his pulsepoint and feeling his hand run down my back and then back to my head. I kept going, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing each inch of skin that was exposed as the buttons fell open. His nipples were taunt, and I spent a moment enjoying each one before returning to my route. Down his stomach, nuzzling his bellybutton, and then my fingers found the button on his jeans.
“I probably shouldn’t completely undress you,” I whispered against his skin as I flicked the button open. “Just when I do, we’ll be called to defend the damn world.” I felt him chuckle as my fingers opened the zipper. “But I’ll make sure everything necessary to your recovery is bared to my attention.” His fingers slid under the tightness of my braid and I smiled against his pelvic bone. He lifted his ass long enough to free that part of him I was most concerned with, and then he was free. I hummed in approval. “Oh, I’m more than certain I can make you feel all better, Mr. Dixon.” I looked up to see he’d put his other arm under his head to get a better angle to watch me. I smirked at him as my tongue flicked against the head that had given me such pleasure in the bright light of the moon. “Just let me know if there’s anything that you need to make a full recovery.” And with that I engulfed him with my mouth, my hand moved to the base and together with my mouth and tongue, I worked him.
“Shit, Jessi,” he hissed, his fingers tangled in the depths of my hair. “Yeah, fuck, just like that.”
I moved slowly, then faster, then slower, making him moan and gasp. His hand in my hair tightened and I knew he was ready, but he did the unexpected, he yanked me from him. “Get up here, Jess.” He growled and my mouth met his with a hunger that was even more than the night before. “I need ya. All of ya.” He moaned against my mouth, and I felt his hands sliding down to my own jeans, undoing them and tugging. “Pull em off.” He ordered and I pulled back, kicking off my boots and ridding myself of my pants. “Now climb on top.” Demanding, I thought, but I was powerless to deny him.
I straddled him and then he snapped up into me. We both moaned at the feeling. We hadn’t thought it was right to try in Hershel’s house, in a stranger’s bed, but this, I rocked my hips and felt sparks between us, this was US. He pulled me back to him, so most of my weight was on him. I was trying to be so careful of his wound, but he wouldn’t allow it. Not now, not here, here we had to connect. And so, my covered chest was tight against his, even as he quickened his pace of thrusting. He swallowed my screams of pleasure as I was fed his own. And for the first time, but not the last, when we came, we didn’t part.
And for a brief moment, I forgot about the walkers in the barn and my newest sibling on the way.
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Ironwood Sucks as a General. You can’t change my mind. (Warning spoilers if you haven’t seen Vol 6 and Vol 7.)
Okay this has bothered me a lot and I don’t normally post but I felt this was needed. James Ironwood should not be a General. This isn’t just stemming from the sheer rage I feel for him as of the most recent episodes. This goes all the way to before Beacon fell. Right off the bat, Ironwood was way too dependant on one of his resources. Atlas Technology. He figured well nobody else has shown that they can keep up with him that must just mean that a threat doesn’t exist. Even a General in peacetime should prepare for what COULD happen. There should have been plans for WHEN somebody hacks the military not IF. (especially if all your systems are inner connected. That’s asking for trouble). Then there’s his approach to the White Fang. He wanted to instantly make a show of his toys. Show everyone. (even the people of a foreign kingdom) Just what Atlas could do. he wanted to send his men (Yes I’m counting androids in his army.) in blind on enemy territory. You know what is often involved in wars? Maps. Even if you wanted a bomber run you still look at the area. Yes, it was Mountian Glenn and it was probably mapped out before. But if you say that an enemy has moved to a certain position you triple check EVERYTHING. A mountain is a big place. (Doesn’t do you any good to bomb the top of a mountain if your targets are living in caves at the base of it now does it?) Wars are won with two things. Resources and Information. You can have all the guns, dust, Megazords and nukes you want. But if you don’t know where your enemy is, or their basic command structure you won’t be able to put down an enemy for good. (How to win a war 101 dude come on) Now that, that’s done let’s look at the Ace Ops. Five members of his inner sanctum. Each of them the “best” in Atlas. All of them loyal and filled in on what they are up against. Nothing wrong there. However, what were the criteria for how they were selected? Cause five soldiers that are best on their own don’t necessarily work the best on a team. Clover seemed to be a lurker. Watching the enemy and waiting for the right opening. Good thing for a leader to have. Harriet was the speedster. Her whole thing was hit fast and keep the opponent off their feet so they don’t get a chance to recover. Again nothing really wrong here, and if you pair her with just Clover they’d be the best for sure. Clover pointing out weak points for Harriet to hit would be a great strategy for those two to use. Next up is Marrow. His whole thing is freezing and essentially matrixing out of the way of his opponent’s attacks while also giving him time to land in his own blows. Pairing him with either Harriet or Clover would be an amazing idea. Then We have Vine and Elm. These two work well together on their own. Vine is a lot like Clover sits back and observes before making his move while Elm goes in and engages the enemy and exposes any weaknesses it may have that she couldn’t necessarily see/access on her own. However, there is a small problem with them. What happens if all five of this team aren’t present under ideal circumstances. Say for instance Vine and Clover where stuck working together on a mission that requires a hard hitter. I’m sure the two could take it down from a bit of strategizing and Clover’s Semblance working overtime, but that’s not a guarantee. Vine’s “reach” (for lack of a better term that I’ve seen for his semblance) and Clover’s weapon aren’t going to be effective against something like Cordovin's Mech, Same could be applied to Harriet and Elm in a situation that requires a softer touch. Harriet is impatient and figures if she can’t get touched she can't lose a fight. But what happens if she’s in a limiting area that doesn’t allow her area to run in. A tunnel with a dead-end perhaps, or the edge of a cliff where she can’t run anywhere, she doesn’t carry a weapon like a pistol or anything meaning she wouldn’t be much of a help to Elm, who is also more of a hazard. Elm’s weapon is meant to break things, add that with her semblance to make her nearly an immovable object. However, put her in a small confined space and she’s limited in what she can do. She could use her hammer to keep the enemy at bay but if it’s a close-range fight against someone like Neo who uses a bit of light footedness and a bit of mind games in a fight she doesn’t stand a chance. Marrow can work on his own solo, his semblance gives him the best chance to either take out his opponent or fall back and regroup after a few attacks don’t work. But add in multiple targets from multiple areas and he’s on his own. So Just because someone is loyal and good in one circumstance doesn’t mean that adding them to a group of four other strangers doesn’t mean that they’ll be the very best (like no one ever was) Cause guess what. As the mighty Qui Jon Jinn once said, “There’s always a bigger fish” which I think we can all agree. Salem is currently that said fish. Next on the list is THE RELIC HE’S GUARDING! You know the one holding up Atlas. Seriously He had nothing guarding it. He just left the door completely exposed. HE EVEN HAD AN ELEVATOR BASICALLY TAKE YOU TOO IT! No identification needed. No security systems nearby to make sure that if somebody snuck in there like I don’t know Cinder (who snuck into your office) They could try and get the relic, or rig the place to blow so nobody could get access to its power and literally have Atlas crash into Mantle. Here’s an idea for you. HAVE ARMED GUARDS NEARBY AT ALL TIMES! Or better yet. Have your top of the class go and guard the thing the second you found out that Cinder is in Atlas. Cause A) you could have stalled for time for reinforcements to get there and just overwhelm her before she could even touch the door. B) it wouldn’t be easy to get to if you had a Winter Maiden go full Vader and Join Salem along with Cinder. C) you like showing the world your tech. Why not keep some of your best toys down there cause then no one would see it coming. D) It would stop anyone from getting access to it period. (you know like a farm boy you shot.) E) it makes a great hiding place for a particular Winter Maiden so you could move the relic if you had too. Plus you’d be in better control when it would come time for her to either give the powers willingly or rip them out and force them into your chosen warrior. (while also limiting her exposure to people in general). Last but not least. His ideas of what he needs to do. He’s having issues dealing with the Grimm in Mantle. You want to know how you take care of that? Well, first you don’t arrest anyone that’s killing the Grimm that break into the cities. Then you send your resources to your defensive line. (You know like Robyn wanted you to do.) Then you worry about contacting the other kingdoms. Yes, I liked the idea of a floating communications tower and using Amity was perfect considering all you had to do was some “basic” modifications, But it doesn’t do any good if everyone in the kingdom who is probably your workforce (Mantle) is dead or scared which are bringing in more Grimm. Want to know what else would help limit the Grimm a bit... Not leaving the people who are technically your superiors and/or your equals in the total dark. People have questions genius. Give them what you can. This is not a situation where no news is good news. People are scared and want to know what you are doing to make them feel safe besides having a single robot flying around killing Grimm after they get past your shitty fortifications. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for coming to my TED talk/ Ironwood hate post. Here’s a picture I found that I hope you enjoy.
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tell daddy a secret.
warnings! ok, let’s go again: cursing; spanking; obviously a daddy kink so if you don’t like that kind of stuff just click away; NSFW w/ plot ‘cause you guys may have realised im a slut for both; i guess that’s all for today.
and yess, you have to be over 18 to be reading this. tumblr’s rules, not mine.
words! not that much. don’t be dramatic. (jokes on me, the number you are looking for is 2940)
this is a fem!reader x bucky barnes imagine and unfortunately it’s just fictional.
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You had a kink.
You had it for some time now. It was a bit obcsenioux. And dirty. Some may even consider it disturbed. But you liked it anyway. It was your kink afterall, nobody's business.
You had a daddy kink.
And a boyfriend as well. Although he didn’t exactly know what was going on inside your naughty little head.
It wasn’t like you didn’t trust him. Nope. Neither as if you didn’t want for him to be the first man you’ve ever been with to know about your little secret. Nah. You were just scared, to be honest.
'Cause he was easily the best thing in your life. Your whole world; the light in the darkest night. You never thought you actually could be this enamoured by someone until you met him. James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes. The Winter Soldier on the flesh and Captain America's best friend. And the love of your fucking life.
Ok, maybe you were more than just scared. Maybe you were terrified.
Sex with Bucky was amazing. No, more than amazing: it made you transcend. But Bucky was a 40's man even though he tried his best to adapt to 21 century. He still was a man born and raised in 1940. And he naturally still had some assumptions and behaviors from that decade. And you had no fucking idea how a man from that age would react to you telling him you would like to call him "daddy" while he fucked you.
And you didn't blame him for that. Far from it: you accepted Bucky as a full package, with every scar and flaw. With his past and ghosts. And if you had to control your deepest desires just a little not to make him uncomfortable, you would do it with a smile on your face.
As if it was that easy.
You craved Bucky since day one. Since his built up, muscular figure walked through the Tower's door you just knew he was meant to be yours. He was just a sexual crush back then. Even though a little voice in the back of your head always told you that he wasn't just that. No. He was more. There was just something about the little glint hid in his cloudy eyes that fascinated you. That had you trapped. Since day one.
It didn't take more than a few words for you to know that he was the one. It was cheesy and almost ridiculous, I know. Even you kept telling yourself that you were just enchanted by him. It was just arousal, just a phase. You would get over it.
But you didn't. And what was just a tiny little crush became an huge liking you took for the sarge. Natasha was in shock when you told her about your - as she called - obsession for Bucky. She told you had gone insane; she thought it was some kind of fever, that you should probably get a break from missions or get laid. You knew him for what? Three months? You had spoke with him what? Twice? And about what? Missions?
How could your stupid ass possibly claim you were in love with the guy?
Oh, but your stupid ass knew. It (you) just knew it was meant to be. He was meant to be.
So there was a day that you were suffering from a terrible insomnia and the idea of making yourself some tea just popped into your head. You got up, making your way straight to the kitching and when you found Bucky struggling to make the microwave work you knew it was the Universe sending you a sign.
You helped him, letting out some stupid joke about how for a man who had a metal arm on display he had no idea how to deal with metal stuff. It was a dumb, tired joke that you almost regret, automatically thinking that he could feel uneasy by your forwardness. Until he directed you a richful laugh that made your poor little heart skip a beat.
He was beautiful.
You both spend the rest of the night together, just talking bullshit and getting to know each other. It felt so natural. You learned that he was fascinated by bikes and coincidently you had a Harley FXB Sturgis you proudly took care of. You told him you really enjoyed Glenn Miller and Jimmy Dorsey even though you never knew how to dance and he promised you he could teach you, if you allowed him.
After that each day was a different conquer. A different new fact about Bucky and you were just addict to it. What could you say? You guys just clicked. Before Bucky you never imagined you could feel so electrified to know something new about someone. It was like you were drowning your whole life, submerged, craving for something your lungs couldn't reach. Then came Bucky. And he was pure oxygen for your pained lungs.
So one thing led to another and when you blinked you guys were already a thing. More than a thing, you were a couple. And you couldn't fucking believe it.
Fuck, you told Natasha you were right.
It didn't take long for you guys to fuck, the connection that pulled you together being away too strong for any of you to resist. And the sex was another thing with which you both clicked. Bucky liked to be dominant and possessive over you, and you just loved to please him.
But then your daddy kink kicked harder then ever and you didn't know what to do about it. Natasha - who was basically your sister - warned you it would be best for you to just tell him. That he would still love you. You knew it was kind of silly to think his feelings for you were fragile enough to break because of such a thing. But you were still scared.
What could you do? Swallow your feelings and be the tough Avenger you were on the field? At least that was what Natasha told you to do. So you decided you should tell him, yes. Someday... Maybe... If it was really necessary.
No, you had to tell him. Before he found out by another way.
...
It was an ordinarily enough Saturday night. Tony was throwing an "we survived this time, may not survive the next so you better enjoy" party; Clint and Pietro were on a drink-or-die contest; Steve was doing it all day; Thor was laughing loudly enough to sound like sparkly thunders through the night; Loki was probably scheming; Bruce was... well, Bruceing; Nat and Wanda were betting who would pass out from drinking and how they would manage to drag Pietro to his room at this time of the night. The good ol' Avengers.
Oh, and Bucky was about to fuck you.
You two lovebirds couldn't just resist. Your dress was just too tight, fitting your gorgeous body away too nicely. And you knew Queen Catherine from France had so much lovers because she never saw Bucky on a suit. 'Cause dear God that was a sight.
So that leads us here: you already naked, legs spread widely when Bucky had just teared your thong apart, your poor Calvin Klein's thong being shattered into pieces. That wasn't such a loss though; you were sure your dripping core had ruined it already.
"Shit, doll. You are soaked." Bucky's husky voice told you while his pinky lips hovered over your whimpering pussy. "All that for me, hum?" He continued, his grip tightening on your inner thigh.
"Yes! Yes..."
Daddy.
You bit your tongue. "...Bucky." You meowed softly, your desire for call him daddy hitting you like a thunder.
"Yeah? So put that ass up in the air. Wanna see it while I make you cum." He demanded and you obeyed eagerly. Oh, if he just knew the things you would do for him...
"Look at that." He grabbed one of your ass cheeks roughly and you moaned at the suddenly contact of cool metal on your flaming skin. "My babe got such a pretty ass." He groaned, his fake thingers now teasing your wet hole.
"Tell me, (Y/N). Tell me who this pretty cunt belongs to." His fingers easily entered your pussy, pleasuring your insides.
You, daddy.
"You, Bucky." You speaked in a muffled tone not just by the mattress your face was currently buried in but also by your firm attempt to not let yourself go so much and end up saying something you shouldn't.
Bucky put one more finger into you, making it three, and pumped harder into your pussy.
"I'm sorry, doll, I guess i couldn't hear you since you are moaning so loudly." And you were. You could almost feel his cocky smirk ranging proudly on his handsome face. Although you couldn't care less with his fingers buried deeply inside you, beautifully flirting with your orgasm.
You daddy. I belong to you.
"You, Bucky. I belong to you." You said loudly this time, your voice dying on your throat at the end of the sentence. You couldn't say it, not now.
But Bucky didn't seem to get enough of you and the slap that hit your ass made you lose control from all your senses for a second.
"YOU, DADDY!"
A tiny little second.
Bucky stopped dead in his tracks. Did he hear you right? Daddy?
Oh dear God. Did you just say it?
Did he hear you? Of course he did, asshat! You just screamed it out loud!
You started to debate which were the chances of the music outside being too loud for him to hear you (you were panicking as you can see). But when you felt his fingers getting away from your pussy you just knew he had.
God, you were screwed now. And not in a good way.
Your blurred brain quickly started to think about possibly excuses and explanations for the current situation. You were right between "I'm sorry, you shouldn't find out like this" and "hey there, as you noticed I have a daddy kink, please don't push me away because of this" when you felt Bucky's metal arm clench around the back of your neck, pinning you into the bed. Your arms were beside your head in a submitted state when he leaned in, whispering into your ear with the most lustful voice:
"Did I hear you right, babygirl?" His grip hardened and you feel his knee spreading your legs apart, leading you to wonder which would be the size of the poodle in the middle of them since this man was driving you completely insane.
"Tell me. How long have you been keeping this little secret from daddy?" Oh, dear.
He caressed your pussy again with his free hand and you lost it.
"I'm so sorry, daddy!" You moaned loudly, your voice sounding more acute then normal.
“And here I was thinking so good of you… Guess I was wrong, hum?” He seemed almost hurt if it wasn’t for the strong scent of lust and superb on his tone, showing off his intentions.
“I’m so, so sorry, daddy…” You meowed one more time, hoping for him to forgive you.
Bucky made a disapproving sound with a snap of his lips. You squirmed under him, anxious for more.
"No, babygirl. I am sorry." His grip left your neck and you felt empty all sudden. And guilty. As if you had really disappointed him.
But then his touch travelled through your back, his hand caressed the whole extension of it before landing into your ass cheek. He stopped for a moment, right before
"Because now that you have been a bad girl I will have to punish you."
a slap. A hard one. Harder than any other he had ever disfered into your body during sex. And you fucking loved it.
"Count for daddy, pretty girl. I wanna you to take ten." You moaned a yes before the second slap came.
"Two, daddy!"
Who would ever say James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes,
"Three, daddy!"
the Winter Soldier on the flesh and Captain America's best friend, and the love of your fucking life
"Four, daddy!"
would love your daddy kink so fucking bad?
"FIVE, DADDY!" This one was harder, making your skin burn; the scream leaved your mouth without permission - a mix from all the pleasure, pain and suppressed desire that you had boiling into you.
"S-six, daddy!" Your eyes were wettering right now and you bit your lower lip not to sob a pained whimper, not from slaps but mostly from your aching core which Bucky had abandoned a while ago and now was crying for some of his attention.
"Can't take them all, babygirl? First you lie to me. Now you are being disobedient. I'm starting to think you don't want to be a good girl for daddy anymore."
You could almost touch the fake disappointment in his voice.
"No! No, daddy! Please! I want to be good for you!"
But you were in for it anyway.
"So keep counting while daddy spank that tight little ass."
Another slap.
“Seven! Daddy!”
And other.
“Eight!” A moan. “Daddy!”
“N-nine,” Your voice softened as a tear dropped from the corner of your eye. “Daddy!”
“TEEN, DADDY!”
And there you were: ass all burning pink, your pussy aching wet and tears streaming through the corner of your eyes. You swallowed the gulp on your throat when Bucky’s chest came near your back. You were in ecstasy.
“There she is. My good girl.” His voice sounded warm on your ears as his flesh fingers came to clean some tears from your beautiful face.
“Was I good, daddy?” You purred when his touch leaved your sensitive skin, placing a gentle peck where his fingers once were.
“You were, babygirl. Now open those legs, daddy is gonna fuck that pussy nicely.”
You spread your legs as open as you could, trying to make Bucky proud. He fitted right into the middle of them, opening you up a bit more. Bucky took his hard cock into his hand and slipped into you smoothly, your wet cunt greeting him warmly.
“God, you are always so tight for me, babygirl. Taking daddy’s cock so good…” He groaned after a few thrusts, making your pussy clench around him. You both moaned at that.
“You are just too big, daddy!” You moaned and you swear you heard an animalistic growl coming out from Bucky´s chest. Jesus Christ.
“Oh, yeah? But you love it, don’t you? Such a cockslut my babe is, squirming all around daddy’s cock.” Bucky pounded harder on you this time, your pussy struggling to fit his whole cock all at once. His words made you shiver and your orgasm started to show up.
Bucky seemed to feel it too and managed to go even deeper into your sore pussy, making a bunch of loud moans to leave your dirty little mouth. He was fucking you senseless and your couldn’t help but love it.
“Daddy!”
You moaned loudly into one deep thrust of his and the dirty laugh that left his mouth was nothing but unexpected. And hot as well.
“Wanna cum on daddy’s cock, babygirl?” You nodded eagerly, the knot on your belly being away too strong for you to stop it. “So you better ask for it.”
“Please, daddy! Please I wanna cum so bad!”
He slapped your already bruised ass to that and you almost screamed if the pleasure he was giving you hadn’t cut your voice. His pace became sloppier although his thrusts were still hard enough to hurt, making you inevitably squirm under him while your high was getting closer and closer.
“So you better come, babygirl.”
And you did. Hard and almost painfully. Waves of pleasure washed your body as Bucky managed to reach his own reach, spreading his white cum all over your ass. You moaned as you felt his orgasm reaching your skin so warmly, the thought alone increasing your own climax.
Bucky pecked your shoulder sweetly, getting out of the room for what felt like an eternity. You were about to stand up and look for him when you felt something fluff cleaning your skin. The sarge had came back with a towel and was taking care of you while you melted to his touch. Such a gentleman he was.
You the leaned down; Bucky with his back to the mattress and a hand under his head while you curled your self, leaning into his broad chest. You started to make little silly drawings into his skin when you felt him clearing his throat. Your shining gaze met his beautiful face right before he spoke.
“So…” He began softly, shifting his curious blue gaze to yours after he cleared his throat once again. “ A daddy kink?” And something on his away too eager tone told you he was up to learn more about it.
“Yeah…” You said almost shyly. “Did you like it?”
Bucky laughed at it and your heart died for an instant.
“If I like it?” His voice sounded darker this time, dragging you in. Bucky moved on the mattress, bringing his enormous body upon yours, caging your naked, vulnerable body to the bed.
“Doll, I wanna hear every single thing you have to say about that.” His predatory gaze met yours and he bit his pink lips, making that eager sensation on your low belly starting to rise all over again.
It was going to be a Hell of a night.
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tried to make this one more into (Y/N)’s perspective. what did you guys think about it?
#my boi bonky#bucky barnes x reader#bucky imagine#bucky x reader#bucky barnes is away too precious to be a human being#im 104% he is a dog#or a cinnamon roll#maybe both omg#anyways#i love that dude#really#marvel#avengers#mcu#bucky smut#bucky fluff#bucky angst#why do i keep falling in love for fictional people?#i guess we will never know#im still asking myself if you guys ready this#probably not#im brazilian#and i dont like bubble tea#tried it today though#it sucks#sorry guys#my therapist is taking a break#*silently scream in dispair*
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Day 309
I wasn’t there, but I was told.
That day, Michonne had planned on going to the prison to take another look and come up with a plan. Valuable stuff could be in there, and this far into the outbreak probably nobody alive would be inside. She could deal with the dead.
She didn’t make it there, though. Michonne found people on the woods, armed man who came up with a conversation about there being a place she could go to, that she didn’t have to stay outside alone anymore – of course, because she said nothing about her having a whole, blooming community. But it was only when they said their place was called Woodbury that she knew who they were, and that made her even more quiet. Outnumbered, Michonne knew she couldn’t say no. She knew what they were capable of, what their orders were. So she went with them, pretending to think it was a good idea and a blessing to have found good people with a real community she could go to.
So Michonne went to the Governor’s place. The Governor, the son of a bitch who’d attacked us as made us move away from our original home. Merle’s previous leader, the man who attacked smaller communities for supplies and fuck knows what else.
It was an incredible place, she told me. A whole town, clean streets, lamp posts, lots of people, maybe nearly a hundred of them, lots of guards, ammo, food, hot water. It was utopic, even. Of course it was easy for them when they took everything from others to have it all. She was showed around, introduced to the Governor, who had no idea who she was because he hadn’t seen her back then and none of the men who’d seen her were still alive to tell.
The governor said stuff about her looking strong and capable with her sword, that they could use people like her, that he wanted her to stay and work with them, a lot of bullshit that she kept pretending to believe, all the while observing every little detail she could, trying to find ways to escape and to send word to the Village informing where she was. She tried the radio at a moment she got alone, it had thankfully been hidden under her clothes so nobody saw it, but we were out of range.
After hours, she told him thanks but no thanks, I prefer to be out there, I’m a free spirit, I like the woods, whatever bullshit she could come up with to convince him to let her go.
And he… Did. He let her go.
She knew something was wrong when he insisted very little and had an annoying smile on his face, but she wouldn’t take her chances to investigate his intentions any further. All Michonne wanted was to get the fuck out of there, make sure nobody followed, and go back home.
She was followed.
The governor sent four man after her, she counted as she hid in the woods. I mean, the man finds a woman in the woods, takes her somewhere, offers that she stays and when she says no thanks, they try to fucking kill her! What kind of a sick motherfucker does that?
They were out there to kill her and my chest tightened just to think of it when she told me. Four armed men against one woman with a sword. But Michonne… Man, that was Michonne, so they had no fucking idea what they were up against. The woman was fierce and when she was angry she got even more dangerous. And they pissed her for real. Three of them were dead already, heads rolling away from their bodies when they hadn’t even seen her approach, among the walkers that had come to their noise in the woods. She’d had to kill them as well and got covered in guts in the process, when the last one of the men shot her in the leg. It was a graze on the back of her thigh, but it was enough to slow her down from limping and pain.
She found a parking lot of a grocery store on the side of a road but had no time to try to find a place to hide because there was a car approaching, so she just hid anyway she could behind an abandoned van. From the red, decrepit car, a woman came out with a gun, followed closely by the driver. They both looked thin but clean and healthy, and they both did a quick swipe around.
“Clear outside,” the woman announced and they seemed to relax. Well, it wasn’t clear because Michonne was there watching them through the dirty windows of the car, so they really, really should have been more careful. But they weren’t, seeming too confident as people who probably had been doing this for a long time now.
“Alright, let’s take a look,” the man said but the woman approached him and they kissed, smiling and sweetly, speaking tenderly to each other. Then, when the man broke open the door and walked in, the woman stayed outside.
“Glenn? Get that duck!” she told him.
“What?” he asked from the inside.
“Get that duck!”
“Are you serious?”
“A kid growing up in a prison could use some toys.”
Michonne had a start at this whole dialogue. Glenn? She’d heard that name somewhere, it rang a bell but she couldn’t remember clearly then, because she was scared, hurt, tired, and she didn’t connect the name to my stories. She didn’t know then that it was Glenn.
Second thing was the mention of the prison. The prison she planned to go to before she was found by the Governor’s men. A kid growing up in a prison. These two people had a group and they were living in the prison and there was a child there.
And the Governor’s men were around. She needed to warn them. They seemed to be good people, and people who are out there caring about children should not be found by the Governor.
“We just hit the powdered formula jackpot!” the man said minutes later when he left the store.
“Thank God!” the woman commented.
“I also got beans, batteries, cocktail wieners, many mustards! It’s a straight shot back to home from here. We’ll probably make it in time for dinner.”
“I like the quiet. Back there, back home, you can always hear them outside the fence no matter where you are.”
Michonne knew they had to just shut the fuck up about home and the prison because there were Governor’s men around and goddammit you don’t just talk aloud about your place in the open like that! Didn’t people know anything?!
She was going to warn them, decidedly. But before she could get up with difficulty from her crouched position, the last standing man that had been sent to kill her in the woods arrived, gun pointed at the woman, asking where was it that they were calling home. It was a whole, quick mess after that, the couple pointing their guns, the man shooting to distract them and grabbing the woman, making her hostage. It was like two minutes and they were in the car, leaving, the sonofabitch who was trying to kill Michonne talking the couple to Woodbury.
All Michonne could think not was shit, shit, shit. And she wasn’t even one to curse too much. So these two were good people who lived in the prison and there was a group and a child, a baby, because they were taking cans of formula there. And now the cans were abandoned there and there was a baby that needed it. The decision was made even before she could stop and consider it. Limping, she took the basket and made her way to the prison, which she knew exactly where it was. She had to bring the baby the formula and let their group know what had happened. She’d be damned if she let the Governor destroy yet another community.
And I wasn’t there, but I was told.
Michonne limped her way to the prison carrying the basket with the formula. She was scared, she tells me. She knew nothing good would happen to those two at Woodbury, she was hurt, hungry and thirsty, feeling faint from losing blood and the goddamn heat, and worried about going back home and about helping the baby, whoever this baby was.
She limped among the walkers who didn’t detect her with the blood and guts and marched straight to the diamond shaped fence of the prison. Someone saw her from afar and made his way to her, reaching the inner fence just as she reached the outer.
Michonne says she remembers thinking damn when she saw him, but didn’t linger in the thought.
He stared at her, utterly confused, and she grabbed the fence with her hand, looking straight at him as to convince him she was a living person, yes, he was seeing it right. Before he could act on anything, though, the walkers around finally recognized her as living and she had to drop her bag and the basket, take the katana out and fight them.
“Should we help her?” She heard someone else from the inside of the fence, but paid no mind. She was weak and fainting, and fell to the grass amidst the hungry dead.
She was inside when she came to herself again, lying on top of a blanket on the floor with people standing above her and the men from the fence way too close.
“Who are you?” he asked her. In reflex, she tried to reach for her katana, scared and confused, and he kept it away from her. “No! We’re not gonna hurt you unless you do something stupid first, aright?”
“Rick?” somebody said as he entered the room. “Who the hell is this?”
She tried sitting up.
“You wanna tell us your name?”
She was shocked wordless.
“You wanna tell us your name?” he repeated, annoyed.
Rick.
Glenn.
A redneck with a sleeveless shirt.
She’d found them.
She says she was considering just blabbing out “Shit I found you all!” or simply yelling “Sam’s alive!” but Rick was too suspicious of her already, and how the hell do you break a piece of news like this to people who thought their former leader was dead?
“Ya’ll come on in here,” the man that she knew to be Daryl, nobody had to say his name for her to know, told Rick.
“Everything alright?” Rick asked without taking his eyes off Michonne.
“You gonna wanna see this.”
Rick then gave orders for the others around to go in and for the boy – Carl, who Michonne knew the story about the shooting and all, to take the basket with the formula. They all obeyed with no questions, but the boy made a point in taking Michonne’s backpack with him as well. The radio was in there.
“We’ll keep this safe and sound,” Rick said showing her the katana in his hands. The doors are all locked. You’re safe here. And we can treat that.”
“I didn’t ask for your help,” was all her surprised, still weak mind could make her say.
“It doesn’t matter,” Rick turned and walked away. “We can’t let you leave.”
So then went into a large corridor and Daryl – Daryl! – locked the door behind them.
And I was there, at the Village, getting a freaking haircut and then deep cleaning my house when Michonne was in the same room with Daryl!
She sat up, her back against the bars of a jail cell, trying to breathe normally, get her wits back, and she even laughed a little. She knew how happy I’d be; she knew how much this encounter would change everything in our lives. But then, with a start, she knew my friends were taken to Woodbury, to the Governor, and that they were in serious trouble. The Governor would do anything to find out where their community was.
Getting up with difficulty, she limped her way to the locked door and saw the group in there. There were around a woman who was crying and the baby she’d brought the formula to. She remembered my stories about me not being the only pregnant woman. The baby was there, born and alive.
Minutes later they returned and came on strongly asking questions. They did not seem amicable to her even though she’d just brought the baby stuff, keeping it from going hungry tonight, and yet they were not friendly at all.
“We can tend to that wound for you,” Rick came saying, “give you a little food and water and then send you on your way. But you’re gonna have to tell us how you found us and why you were carrying the formula.”
“I’ve always known where this prison is,” she explained and she got up from her spot, “but even if I didn’t, the man who dropped the basket, the Asian boy with the pretty girl, they spoke of it aloud for anyone to hear. You might wanna tell your people to be more careful.”
“Hold up a moment now,” Rick said not allowing her to move on. “He dropped the basket? What happened?”
“Were they attacked?” the senior without a leg asked, his voice deep but trembling a little with worry.
“They were taken.”
“Taken? By who?”
“By the same sonofabitch who shot me. And destroyed my community before.”
“Hey, these are our people! You tell me what happened!”
At that, Rick pressed his hand to her bullet would, violent and angry and she felt less and less like telling them about me. She was considering just leaving and going home to tell me, and I’d decide what to do. Why would she give these people good news if they were locking her in and pressing fingers to her wounds?
She defended herself, pushing him away and pointing a finger at his face, “Don’t you ever touch me again!”
And then Daryl had the crossbow pointed at her, “You’d better start talking or you gonna have a bigger problem than a gunshot wound!”
She stared at him over the bow. She couldn’t even believe she was in front of the man she’d heard so much about, Merle’s brother, for fuck’s sakes, but was under his arrow’s aim. Michonne was never one to be too sweet to unknown people or too patient, and she was at the end of hers already.
“Find them yourself!” she told Daryl and Rick made him lower the crossbow.
“You came where for a reason,” Rick told her, making her stop for a moment to remember the reasons. They had almost slipped her mind. It was to bring the baby the formula and to help people who seemed to be good to be rescued from the Governor’s hands. So she breathed in and told them about Woodbury and the man himself.
“And where the hell is this place?” Rick asked after she explained.
“South. I’ll show you.”
“And how do I know you’re not bullshitting us? That you’re not leading us to a trap?”
“You don’t,” she told him simply.
“I’ll tell you what, then. You’ll point us in the direction and we’ll go check if this place is real. You’ll stay here. In there,” Rick pointed to the outer cell. “If we see it’s real, I’ll believe you and then we’ll go get out friends back.”
“You’re locking me up,” she affirmed angrily. “After I came all the way here to help?”
“Anyone can say they’re trying to help and then fuck us up. This is how this is gonna be and end of discussion.”
* * *
I’d told Merle that Michonne had intended to go to the prison that day, so it was easy for him to find it. From afar, he saw it wasn’t overtaken by walkers anymore and that there were people in there, living, the only walkers were outside at the fence, aimlessly trying to reach someone. He knew if Michonne had come here and found people, and was missing for over a whole day, the chances that she was in there were huge.
He observed for a long time, the knife attached to the hand and a pistol on his waistband, holding up the binoculars to try and understand the place and the people in there before deciding on what to do. It didn’t take long for the answers to become clear.
Merle started laughing, not believing his eyes, because it was just not fucking possible that he was seeing his baby brother come out of the building and start packing a car with stuff with other people, one of them the young kid Merle remembered from the quarry camp.
It was Daryl. He’d found his brother.
Fighting not to let the emotion of it came out, because this was Merle, he was a changed man but he didn’t do feelings, Merle walked his way in the open to the fence of the prison, without knowing he was repeating exactly what Michonne had done just a while ago. The people inside stopped to look at the foreign movement for the second time that day, and Merle could see the moment Daryl recognized him. He extended a hand to make another man Merle didn’t know lower his weapon and started walking in his direction.
Merle was laughing aloud as he stabbed walker after walker in the brain on his way there and reached the gate just as Daryl did too.
“Hey there, little brother!”
Daryl was shocked, eye wide looking at a man he thought he’d never see again. A man, in all honesty, he had gotten well used not to have around.
“Merle?” he asked
“As I live and breathe!” Merle laughed aloud. “Knew I’d find ya one day or another!
“How?”
“How I found ya?” Merle looked around at the walkers approaching. “Ya really wanna discuss that right now?”
Daryl looked back to exchange a look with Rick, who was standing there a little behind, hearing it all, seeming just as shocked and, with reason, worried. Daryl didn’t wait for an authorization though, he unlocked the gate, allowed Merle to step in and locked it back again.
And was surprised out of his shit by a tight hug given by his big brother. Perhaps the first one in their entire life.
“Fuckin’ shit, baby brother, it’s good to see you!”
Not knowing what to do and way too stunned, Daryl hugged him back, patting his back. When Merle let go, Daryl repeated the question, “How did you find us?”
“Came looking for my friend, one I believe you got in there?” Merle explained. “Ebony ninja warrior?”
“Your friend?” Rick asked and Merle turned to him.
“Yeah, Sheriff!” Merle yelled at him, laughter in his voice. “Did ya handcuff her to a pipe? That how ya greet people ya just met?”
“She ain’t handcuffed,” Daryl told him.
“So ya do got her in there! Michonne, with the katana?”
“Yeah, she’s in there alright,” Daryl told her.
“Yeah… As glad and I am to see ya, baby brother, I’m gonna have to see with my own eyes if she alright, if ya don’t mind. Don’t like that tone ya got there.”
Merle tried talking away and into the prison but Rick put a hand up to stop him, Daryl rushing to stand by Rick.
“Not you hold up a minute. How is that that she finds us out of the blue, and them minutes after you find us too?”
“Didn’t find ya, dickhead!” Merle said crossing his arms, the knife poking out of his stump up but not intentionally threatening. “Knew all along this prison was here. We got a place a few miles away.”
“You gonna tell us it’s Woodbury?” Daryl asked him.
“It ain’t. And no more bullshit, I ain’t telling ya anything else until I see Michonne’s safe and sound!”
* * *
She was standing, wound tended to, arms resting on the bars and hanging outside, looking pissed out of her mind at anyone around, when she saw Merle come in. Her expression changed immediately and she straightened up, stunned to see him there.
“Merle!”
He walked straight to her, looking at her up and down to check she was fine, “What the fuck is she locked in for?!” he asked when he turned around and away from her.
“She says our friends were taken,” Rick said.
“You remember Glenn from camp,” Daryl completed and Merle turned to look at Michonne again.
“The Governor’s got them,” Michonne told and then added really low, “You know she’s gonna wanna get them back.”
“You told ‘em?”
“I haven’t. I wasn’t the best reception.”
“Whatever you’re whispering over there,” Rick stopped them. “We gotta go get our friends back.”
“Ya ain’t answered my question!” Merle yelled as he turned to them again. “Why the fuck’s she locked up?”
“’Cause ain’t no way we know she’s telling the truth!” Daryl answered in the same.
“They think I’m lying about Woodbury and it’s some sort of trap.”
“Bullshit!” Merle yelled again. “This woman don’t lie! She says china boy was taken to Woodbury, then china boy was taken to Woodbury!”
“Either way we’re gonna go see if it’ real before –”
“It real! I lived there once. Worked for the governor ‘til I quit’em!”
“Not gonna help them trust us, Merle,” Michonne told him.
“Yeah, Merle, that don’t help a lot,” Rick told him.
Merle was silent for a moment until he slowly started laughing. The others looked confused at each other but said nothing.
“Stepped up at the leader then, have ya? How well it turned out for ya that yer friend Officer Sniffers offed her, ain’t it? The original leader of this group? Sam?”
Rick looked enraged but it was Daryl who reacted, walking quickly to Merle and stopping right at his face, “How the fuck you know that happened? Huh?!”
Merle didn’t flinch nor defend himself, he just kept smiling, and very low and softly said, “Cause she ain’t dead, little brother. Sam’s alive.”
Everything froze.
Eyes wide in his brother’s, Daryl shook his head fast and nonstop for a long moment.
“No. No, ya full of crap. She ain’t –”
He stopped to see Merle raise his eyebrows and just nod for a moment. “She didn’t die that night, Daryl,” and then he looked at Rick, who had his eyes wide and completely shocked with the information. “Ya saw it all wrong, Sheriff. Girl wasn’t dead yet. Ya shot the man and he stopped killin’ ‘er. Was no dead yet.”
“I saw her,” Daryl was saying nearly over him. “I saw it too, she was turned, was with the walkers, I saw her!”
“Covered in guts and blood,” Michonne said from inside her cell and Daryl looked at her. “Too hurt to run or fight the walkers. I know all about that story too. I know what you saw.”
Daryl stepped away from Merle and started pacing with no direction, repeating “No” over and over, hands in his head.
“That’s – not,” Rick was trying to speak, his head low, “he was on her. Strangling. She was down… I couldn’t… I couldn’t… Get to her with the walkers, she was… She was dead,” and he looked up to Merle and then to Michonne. “She wasn’t dead?”
“I can say it over and over again,” Merle said impatiently. “Little Miss Tattoo blondie princess Sam Danes,” and then he shouted as loud as he could, “IS FUCKIN’ ALIVE!”
Rick sat down and Daryl was frozen staring at Merle. Other people started coming in having heard all the interaction and asking questions, confused, and Merle just rolled his eyes and turned away from them. He’d never liked these people anyway and there were even people he hadn’t met before. He turned his back to all of them and rested his arms on the cell bars with Michonne. She nodded at him with a smile, knowing one of them would have had to tell one moment or another.
“Where is she?” Daryl asked, his voice shaking, as he stood nearer now. There was silence from the others. “You tell me where she is,” he insisted when Merle said nothing. “You take me to her!!”
“Now why the fuck would I do that?!” Merle swirled around to face his brother, angrily. “When you’re keeping her best friend locked up in a fucking cage?!”
After another stunned moment, the reaction came from someone nobody was expecting. They described her as a mousy woman with short grey hair – Carol moved from her spot over to Rick and took the ring of keys forcefully from his waist.
“Hey!” he reacted trying to take it from her and Carol moved it out of his reach, ignoring him completely and moving to the cell. She struggled a little to find the right key but unlocked and opened it, and then looked at Michonne through the open door.
“If you’re Sam’s friend, you’re my friend.”
With a stunned smile, Michonne nodded at her and stepped out of the cell. Merle rested a hand on her shoulder, looking over her and she nodded at him too, telling him she was alright.
“I want my bag and my sword back,” she said looking around and finding Rick’s eyes. The man was stunned, mouth opened. “She sent you after me?” she asked Merle.
“Yeah, was bitchin’ ‘bout you going out alone and that she ain’t gonna allow it no more.”
“Where’s your radio?”
Merle reached to the back of his waistband and took it from there. “Don’t know it’s in range.”
Michonne pressed the button, “Sam, you there?”
“Michonne?! You okay?!”
In the prison, there was silence for a second and then people started laughing, perked up at my voice coming out of the radio. Daryl froze again, looking at the radio in Michonne’s hand as if he would be able to see me though there.
Merle says his eyes were filled with tears and they started falling then, his chin trembling a little.
Oh, my Daryl! And I had no idea I was so close to seeing him again!
“I’m fine!”
“Is Merle there?”
“Yes, he found me.”
Merle took the radio from Michonne then and pressed the button before I could answer, “How ya doin’ Sammy girl!”
They all heard me say “Don’t call me Sammy” and there was a little laughter around. Everyone had heard me say it before, it was like it was a proof it was really me. “Where are you? You coming home?”
Merle and Michonne exchanged a look.
“Not yet, I’d say,” Merle gave his opinion.
“Yeah,” Michonne agreed. “Not the kind of thing you tell over the radio.”
“It’s dark outside,” Merle said looking out a high, small barred window. “We’ll take’em there in the morning.”
“Michonne?”
“No!” Daryl stopped them. “Now. You’ll take me there now!”
“Listen, I don’t know what your leader’s orders are,” Michonne said to Daryl and she threw a dirty look at Rick, “But ours says no travelling at night or even staying outside in the dark unless you can help it. Sam’s own decision,” and she pressed the button to speak again before he could answer. “We’ll be back a first light tomorrow. Too dark already.”
“Are you safe? Gonna be safe until morning?”
“We’re safe, don’t worry.”
“Good. Good, okay. Thank you for reaching out, I was sick worried here.”
“I know you were,” she said smiling and asked “How are things there?”
“All in order,” I informed her. “Found two kids in the woods and brought them home yesterday. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. Please, no delays in the morning, okay?”
“You got it. We’ll see you soon. Good night!”
“Night. G’night, asshole!”
He just laughed there, by Michonne, and they said no more on the radio.
“Is this for real?” Carol asked Michonne.
“You’re Carol, right?” Michonne asked and Carol nodded. “How would I know that if Sam hadn’t told me?”
Carol smiled bringing her hands to her mouth and then she looked at Daryl, who was still utterly stunned. Michonne, seeing where she was looking and sensing Daryl’s distress, poked Merle and pointed at his brother. Merle got it instantly.
“Come on, little bother. Let’s go on and get ourselves a little jabber.”
It was dark outside when they sat together overlooking the vast grassy area in front of the prison, stray walkers far at the fence not causing any trouble for now.
“You gotta tell me you ain’t bullshitting me,” Daryl started as he got up again after sitting for just seconds and paced in front of his brother. “That ain’t the kinda thing you joke about.”
Calmly, Merle took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up before offering it to Daryl, who hesitated just for a moment before taking one too.
“I know all about the CDC. Atlanta… The farm, the kid who got shot, the girl who died in the woods, the fuckin’ barn. Know all about you two hookin’ up. About the sonofabitch tryin’ ta murder ‘er. Ya tell me how’d I know it all is she ain’t alive.”
Daryl said nothing, just kept pacing, smoking quickly, deep puffs.
“Guess I’ll only believe when I see’er,” he finally said. “’Cause that ain’t possible. I saw her… Saw her walkin’. Rick saw her on the ground, Shane strangling her –”
“And then he shot the man but couldn’t go there to check on’er ‘cause of the herd that was right there. Then ya saw her up and walkin’ among’em. Ain’t that what happened?” and Daryl just nodded, a bit too fast showing how nervous he was. “She’d killed a walker before, was covered in blood and guts. She was alive, little brother.”
“Mean she saw me? Then? When I saw’er?”
Merle nodded gravelly. “Saw ya… Heard ya too.”
Daryl threw the butt of the cigarette angrily to the ground them and brought his hands up to rub his face, turning his back to Merle to hide his emotions as he usually had to do his whole life. He’d be teased if he demonstrated any feelings. Merle didn’t judge, though, not this Merle. He just stayed in silence, knowing the question that was gonna inevitably come. Daryl turned to him again after a long moment and finally asked.
“The baby?”
Merle also threw his cigarette as he got up and took two steps to stand in front of Daryl, and rested a hand heavily on his shoulder and breathed out slowly before telling him.
“Sorry, brother. Your boy didn’t make it.”
Merle says Daryl was unable to keep holding it together then. He cried, his head lowering as he stepped away from Merle and paced around, nervous, grieving. He walked over to the closest fence and held on tightly to it, leaning down. I can only imagine what he was feeling. He’d mourned me and the baby before, went through all the pain and the feelings, and the he hears I’m alive and nearby and then this flicker of hope for the baby as well, only to get mercilessly crushed, and the mourning for him coming back, fresh and kicking. Repeated mourning.
He stayed like that for minutes, Merle could hear him cry quietly from where he stood, lit another cigarette, and just waited in silence. After a while Daryl moved back to him.
“How?” he asked with his voice trembling.
Merle shook his head, “Was born too early. But that’s her story to tell, brother. That and others I’m sure she’ll want to be the one to tell.”
Daryl nodded ad he bit on his lower lip, staring at Merle for a moment. “Ya different, Merle.”
“Clean. Bet ya never seen me like that before.”
“Never. Clean all the way?”
“The occasional weed don’t count, now do it?” and Daryl shook his head. “Yeah, bro, clean all the way. But that ain’t all,” Merle said as he turned to go sit back down. Silently, Daryl followed him but didn’t sit, he stood there near his brother. “Got a home now. Real one, not like the shit you and I had growin’ up. Girl gave me a home, job, responsibility, got me convinced I could do it. Know that if I fuck up now, be fuckin’ up a whole lotta other stuff wi’me.”
It was clear Daryl had no idea what to say to it because it probably felt like this was a complete stranger talking to him. This was not the Merle Daryl knew, and it was not the Merle I had known either, but I’d been living with this new person for months so I was used to it. Daryl would too.
“Where is it?” Daryl asked already with another cigarette. “Where ya’ll live? Is it near?”
“Nearer than ya’d think but if I tell ya now ya gonna slip away and go there tonight. Know ya, little brother. Nah, talking ya there in the morning along with these assholes. Gonna surprise the fuck outta Sammy girl.”
“Don’t call her Sammy.”
Day 310
Daryl woke up everyone who was going before sunrise. Merle and Michonne had shared an empty cell, Merle with a mattress on the floor and Michonne on the bunk bed, both of them extremely uncomfortable for being inside a jail cell and in such bad beds. They were used to their own homes and nicer mattresses in real bedrooms.
He was already out by the car, the same one they’d packed the day before in the postponed intention of going to Woodbury. They’d need the stuff, because the plan was to go to the Village, get me, have a reunion and whatever, and then we’d all go to Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie. How did they think a reunion like this would go simply and quickly, I had no idea, but I don’t think Daryl was even thinking straight. They tell me he was pacing, nervous, snapping at everyone for being too slow and that they had to go now. They didn’t even eat, just finally followed Daryl into the car, Rick driving, Michonne in front with him and Merle and Daryl behind.
“Where is this place, anyway?” Rick asked as, with Michonne instruction, they got to the empty road.
“We call it the Village,” Michonne told them. “South of Brooks, not even ten miles east from here.”
“Ya been that near… How long?” Daryl asked from the back seat
“Four months or so,” she answered. “Had a lot of work to get it going. You all haven’t been at the prison for too long, have you?”
“Not long. Just a few days, in fact,” Rick told her.
“You were on the road all this time?”
Rick nodded silently for a moment, “Yeah… All this time.”
Before the conversation could move on, both Merle and Michonne’s radios came to like, startling them all.
“Sam, do you hear me?”
Rick looked back at Daryl, both of them trying to understand it.
“That’s Mikki,” Merle said to everyone.
“Clearly, what’s up?” they heard me answer.
“I see cars coming down the road towards us, bit slow.”
It was Michonne and Merle who exchanged a look then.
“Pro’ly Merle and Michonne coming back,” I said again to all their ears.
“We ain’t that close, are we?” Daryl asked to no one specific.
“Nope. Not their cars.”
“I’m on my way.”
There was silence on the radio again.
“Hey Sheriff, it’d be nice is ya could put pedal to metal over there!” Merle barked at Rick.
“Sam, quick, they’ve stopped!”
“Shit!” Michonne cursed from her seat.
“You’re armed, right?” they heard me ask and also heard my feet hitting the ground.
“I am, but they –”
“Did we lose signal?” Michonne asked worried, looking back at Merle.
“No, she just stopped talkin’.”
“Mikki?!” I called from the radio.
Rick had sped up already and Merle lifted his radio to speak, “What’s goin’ on over there?”
“Gonna know in a minute!”
“That happens a lot? People coming to the gate?” Rick asked
“Just once before…” Michonne answered and looked back, exchanging a meaningful look with Merle.
Three or four minutes in silence later, when they had already turned from one road to another, accelerating towards the Village, both radios spoke again.
“Miranda, you got Ma and Emma?” they head me ask.
“I got them!” the answer came.
“You three stay in there no matter what until one of us go get you!”
“Got it!”
And then I spoke directly to them, “Michonne, Merle, you get your ass back here RIGHT NOW!”
“On our way already!” Merle answered immediately, beating Michonne to it. “Fuck’s happenin’ there?”
“He found us,” they heard me say in a dead serious voice. “The Governor’s here.”
“Fuck!!” Michonne cried
“Sonofabitch!!” Merle yelled at the same time, his fist hitting the inside of the car door by his side. “Gonna kill that motherfucker!!”
“We’re close! You’d better run, sheriff!” Michonne told him and he accelerated even more. “When we get there, you all shoot to kill. They are not playing around, do you hear me?”
“Six minutes,” Merle said through the radio to inform me, and got no more answers.
#twd#twd fic#twd fanfiction#daryl twd#twdfanfiction#twdfanfic#twdfic#The Walking Dead#thewalkingdead#the walking dead daryl#the walking dead fanfic#thewalkingdead fanfic#thewalkingdead fanfiction#thewalkingdead fic#daryl#daryl dixon#Dary Dixon#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon fanfiction#Merle Dixon#dixon#OFC#daryl ofc#daryl dixon ofc#daryl x ofc#daryl dixon x ofc#original female character#Daryl Dixon x Original Female Character#daryl original female character#daryl dixon original female character
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AU of The Other Dimitri AU Part 1 of 2
Me again! It’s funny, I know what I wanna do with the Ivan oneshot but planning it and then getting to writing it is being far more difficult than expected. Maybe because I’m dealing with a character who is an OC but also somewhat canon in the sense of taking canon Dimitri’s role? Anyways, I’ll get that fic out eventually, I’m actually having fun with the challenge of getting it to work. So I decided, in the meanwhile, to make some notes about the previous post I submitted regarding Ivan (the unit overview) and doing something fun as a bonus. Writing down Ivan as a unit if he existed in the canon game! An AU of an AU. Ah well, it’s fun and it helps me figure out his character. *NOTE*: As I was writing this thing, I realized this was getting ridiculously long for a submission, even from me. So this is gonna be part 1 of 2. I’ll get part 2 to you in a few days with the rest of the info, mostly related to timeskip stuff, battle quotes, paralogues, and RECRUITMENT (*gasp*). Part 2 is gonna have PLENTY of delicious angst! And I hope this part has gotten you interested in what happened to Ivan during the timeskip, especially with the few little hints I’ve dropped here and there. **WARNING**: There will be slight spoilers about the Blue Lions route. I will avoid as many major spoilers as possible or otherwise be vague where I can, but there is some stuff. Just wanted to give a head up! Anyways, I hope you too enjoy this! And, once again, sorry for submitting these absurdly long posts to your inbox.
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Notes
*The following notes are some fun facts regarding stuff I put down in the Unit Overview post*
Childhood Picture: It’s a portrait of Ivan, Dimitri, Felix, Ingrid, Sylvain, and Glenn. It shows them as they were about five years before the Tragedy of Duscur. In the first few months of the charade, when Ivan saw this picture he freaked out and tore the part that had him in it off, burning it in the fireplace. He carries the picture with him constantly. By the point in the timeskip where he starts to go as “Ivan” again, he regrets tearing the picture, especially since it’s the only picture he had that had all of them together. But perhaps the other members of their friendship group have other pictures?
Collection of Fairytales: Ivan loves fiction books, and fairytales are no exception. When the charade begins, Ivan is so focused on training his body and mind to become more and more like Dimitri that he doesn’t check out his books anymore. It isn’t until a couple years later that he sees this book. He smiles and starts to open it, only to see his real name on the inside cover. Ivan has a habit of writing his name on the inside cover of all his books. What followed was Ivan grabbing a quill and large bottle of ink and proceeding to furiously cross out his name from every single one of his books.
Jeweled Dagger: Considering it has the letter D on the hilt, you would think it was Dimitri’s dagger. And…technically you’re right. But Dimitri never got to see the dagger. Ivan wanted to give Dimitri a surprise present for their 14th birthday. So he secretly commissioned the dagger from a blacksmith, asking that it be delivered on Dimitri and Ivan’s birthday. The Tragedy of Duscur happened a short time later and Ivan forgot all about the dagger, between his trauma and having to train for the charade. That is, until a package arrived on his 14th birthday, addressed to “him”.
I actually forgot to put down Ivan’s favorite type of tea but then I remembered Dimitri’s favorite tea is chamomile. So I looked it up and chamomile tea is known to help with stress and anxiety, as well as act as a decent sleep aid. Perfectly fitting for Dimitri and just as fitting for Ivan. So yeah, Ivan’s favorite type of tea is chamomile!
Ivan very much did learn the edible weeds thing from Dimitri! The story is that when they were around eight and hanging out outside, Dimitri chomped on a dandelion with zero warning. When Ivan stared at him in horror, Dimitri proceeded to happily explain all about edible weeds. Ivan decided to just accept it and move on (screaming internally the whole time) …Though he did keep it in mind and has always been kind of curious…
Why is Ivan terrified of horses? When he was four, a particularly bad-tempered horse bit Ivan’s cloak and wouldn’t let go, tugging it and tossing poor tiny Ivan with every shake. Ivan may no longer remember the incident, but he’s been terrified of horses and Pegasi ever since.
Ivan’s Music: He has a habit of humming, especially when doing monotonous tasks or when he’s in an especially good mood. He practiced hard to stop doing it once he had to become Dimitri, but once he goes by Ivan again, he’s slowly bringing the habit back. He has a lovely singing voice, though he’s very out of practice since he hasn’t sung since he was 13. But it’s a strong voice and he has impressive range. A little practice and he’ll probably be as good as he was when he was younger. His instruments of choice are the piano and violin, once again having not touched either since he was 13. After he officially becomes king (particularly after the ceremony that names him king which was held three years after the war) he starts taking lessons again, though doesn’t have much time for it since he’s busy with so many other things. He only started composing his own music when he was 11. He starts making little compositions again during rare free time in the war. He still makes compositions after he becomes king but, once again, he’s so busy he really doesn’t have time to nurture his talent.
Sometimes he’s bitter towards Dimitri for how disinterested the guy was in music, which made Ivan give up so much to perfect the act. But Ivan also remembers Dimitri patiently and happily listening to him play and sing, always saying Ivan was a “god of music”. A silly exaggeration as far as Ivan was concerned, but he doesn’t think he would’ve kept up with music if it wasn’t for Dimitri’s wholehearted encouragement.
Ivan and Ingrid share so many favorite foods. This is largely because when Ingrid was the one who comforted Ivan, she would often share some food with him when she did so. So Ivan associates those foods with happy memories. Ivan’s interest in food with interesting textures is a thing that started a little before arriving at the academy. The reason of which I won’t say (is it a spoiler? I don’t know, better safe than sorry. It has to do with something mentioned at some point in Dimitri and Flayn’s supports if you’re curious, I don’t remember if it’s said elsewhere).
Ivan and Felix were the baby brothers of the friendship group. Even Ingrid treated him as a baby brother like she did with Felix, even though Ivan was older than her. Ivan and Felix had a strong bond due to being meek crybabies. Ivan also had a habit of often hiding behind Sylvain when something spooked him. Of course, Felix often had the same idea, leading to the pair sometimes competing to cower behind Sylvain, while Sylvain laughed at them the whole time, while also doting on them.
So yeah, Ivan did forget his real name over the five-year timeskip. Between all the trauma he faced and the visions of the dead, he could only recognize himself as “Dimitri”, even though he saw hallucinations of the real Dimitri often. He doesn’t remember his own name until Byleth says it to him after Byleth learns that “Dimitri” was really Ivan this whole time.
I saw an anon noticed my stat joke about Ivan’s high Luck compared to Dimitri. One of my favorite things is when Fire Emblem games do something with a character’s stats or classing options (something other than personal skills) that reflect on some story element. Like having a character who is stated in story to be super lucky have naturally high Luck. Or that thing in Awakening with Kellam’s whole shtick of being practically invisible, so he can be reclassed into the Thief class. So yeah I purposefully lowered several of his stats and growths and just cranked up that Luck to match his backstory. Also, I’m pleasantly surprised an anon noticed that Ivan having higher Mag and E+ in Faith implies he was meant to be a healer. Because yes, that’s true! The idea is that if Dimitri hadn’t died, Ivan was gonna be on the path to be a healer/mage character. But because he had to become Dimitri, that greatly stunted his growth and shifted the rest of it to match more with Dimitri’s stats and growth.
Those are the big notes I thought of. Now, let’s get into the AU of this AU, involving what if Ivan was a character alongside Dimitri! Just a thing I made for fun, and like I said before it helps get those creative juices flowing!
AU of The Other Dimitri AU – Ivan Alexis Blaiddyd Unit Overview
Backstory
An overview of the backstory, at least where it differs from how Ivan is in the main AU. Ivan is still Dimitri’s younger identical twin brother, still has the minor Crest of Blaiddyd too. One difference is that while in the main AU Ivan is the one who interacted with the girl with the dagger, in this AU it’s Dimitri who did so, just like canon. The idea being that both of them met her and Ivan tried his best, but she and Dimitri hit it off while Ivan couldn’t get far, so he stopped coming along to visit her. He’s bitter about the idea of once again being passed up for his brother but he’s also jealous of having his brother stolen away from him for that time Dimitri and the girl knew each other. The other big difference is that Ivan didn’t go with his family on the day of the Tragedy of Duscur. Ivan was a sickly child growing up, and he hadn’t been feeling well during the week of the trip. Therefore, Lambert had him stay behind out of concern his condition would get worse during the long trip. Ivan was heartbroken at being left behind (and while he understood why, there was still a twinge of terror deep in his heart over not being good enough, being a burden). The Tragedy of Duscur goes down, Dimitri comes back as the only survivor. Things on Dimitri’s end go down basically the same as canon: meeting with Dedue, his trauma, the falling out with Felix, etc. On Ivan’s end, things end up changing quite a bit. Since Dimitri’s alive, there’s no act, so Ivan’s skills grow as they were intended, being more magic and healing based. Although he ends up picking up the lance too, because sparring was sometimes the only way to get his brother out of his room during those first few months following the tragedy. Ivan finds himself puzzled by his own emotions, particularly how he isn’t devastated to the same extent Dimitri is. Of course he’s in pain and mourning the loss of his father, stepmother, and Glenn. And he’s horrified by the deaths of all the knights, by the deaths of the people of Duscur (he remembers the furious tears streaming down Dimitri’s face as he told him the people of Duscur were innocent). But unlike Dimitri, who’s half dead and only making it to the next day thanks to Ivan, Dedue, and Rodrigue, Ivan still moves about. Eats just fine (Dimitri acts weird towards food now), doesn’t cry the night away (Dimitri sometimes slips into his room or Dedue’s and just sobs as he clings on desperately). Probably the one thing Ivan has in common with Dimitri in grief is the onslaught of nightmares (Dimitri never says what his are about, but Ivan’s are visions of his loved ones and so many faceless others covered in blood and gore, cursing him for his dumb luck that kept him away from the horrors of that day). And maybe that is what’s wrong, that he wasn’t there and didn’t see any of it. But…he doesn’t know. He’s so confused. And he hears the whispers from nosy nobles who know nothing, thinking he doesn’t care about the deaths. Ah well, he supposes he’s used to being the subject of mockery and rumors, as the worthless second-born, never as good as his brother. Never good enough for anyone…His relationship with Sylvain and Ingrid remains close over the years. However, he too ends up coming into conflict with Felix, although nowhere near what happened between Felix and Dimitri. Felix’s issue with Ivan, much like with Dimitri, stems from the rebellion when they’re 15. Except Ivan wasn’t part of the assault against the rebels (“Let me go too, Brother!” he had yelled while Dimitri refused and even ordered guards to make sure he didn’t come. As if years separated the pair instead of mere minutes). When Felix had told him what Dimitri had done, yes, Ivan had been thrown off by it, even horrified of the image of the warm and loving brother he knew being such a beast (“But the rebels were a threat to innocent people. Dimitri did what he had to, in order to protect others.” “You wouldn’t say that if you saw him, Ivan!”) Naïve and black and white in his view of “right”, almost disturbingly so, that’s what Felix had spat at him before storming off. But perhaps because Ivan wasn’t part of the battle, perhaps because Ivan’s fear of fighting and the way he shakes at the idea of it is so genuine, Felix doesn’t sever their friendship like he does with Dimitri. But Ivan can see they’re no longer “two peas in a pod”, that with Felix’s changing feelings towards the concept of “chivalry”, things can’t be as they once were. And maybe Dimitri is somewhat bitter about Ivan being able to maintain those bonds that he himself can’t find a way to. Another big shift shows up that adds more fuel to the fire of Ivan’s jealousy and bitterness towards Dimitri. The way his uncle, the court advisors, and noble after noble feel the need to tell him to help his brother, to look out for him and support him. The comments alone aren’t an issue, it’s what Ivan was doing anyways, because his brother is his idol and best friend. He loves him, truly. But the way they keep talking gives off warning signs. Before the tragedy he was shoved to the side and considered an afterthought, not worth a second glance and having nothing of value compared to the golden heir and crown prince. But now, with the way they’re telling him to support his brother and stay with him, it becomes more and more clear that they’re telling him to live only for his brother. Live for him, die for him. Ivan’s life is no longer his own, his dreams and wishes are no longer his own. He exists only for Dimitri now. He’s not good enough to actually help or provide any meaningful assistance, such as in battles or in politics, he’s only the spare after all, a weak and timid crybaby. But he still must do everything and anything for Dimitri (“You’re brothers, of course you would do anything for him, right? Anything at all?” “…Yes…” As if he can say no to them. As if he can convince himself he’d ever say no). Because it would be a tragedy to lose the crown prince, but not nearly as much if it was the second son. It’s suffocating. This varies from the main AU, where Ivan is still very jealous and bitter, but Dimitri’s death makes Ivan glorify him. His love towards his brother is very real there, but he goes overboard, which is a major factor behind his issues figuring out who he really is and how he truly feels once he goes by Ivan again in the main AU.
Character Description
The second prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and Dimitri’s twin. He is a timid and gentle young man who claims he’s not made for battle. And yet there may be something far more complicated to his nature, especially his feelings towards his brother.
Preferences
Likes: Writing and performing music, live musical performances, fiction books, board games, sparring, well-deserved appreciation, spending time with Dimitri
Dislikes: Himself, battles, darkness, horses and Pegasi, scorching heat, people who talk behind others’ backs
Stats and Growths
Base Stats - HP: 24 Strength: 7 Magic: 10 Dexterity: 6 Speed: 7 Luck: 8 Defense: 5 Resistance: 5 Charm: 8
Max Stats - HP: 65 Strength: 56 Magic: 71 Dexterity: 65 Speed: 69 Luck: 67 Defense: 42 Resistance: 44 Charm: 73
Stat Growths - HP: 35% Strength: 40% Magic: 50% Dexterity: 45% Speed: 45% Luck: 50% Defense: 30% Resistance: 30% Charm: 45%
Skills and Proficiencies
Skill Levels – Sword: E Lance: E+ Axe: E Bow: E Brawl: E Reason: D Faith: D Authority: E Heavy Armor: E Riding: E Flying: E
Strengths: Reason, Faith
Weaknesses: Axe, Brawl, Heavy Armor, Riding
Budding Talent: Lance
Faith Magic Learned: Heal, Recover, Physic, Nosferatu, Aura
Reason Magic Learned: Blizzard, Thoron, Sagittae, Meteor
Starting Skills/Inventory
Starting Class: Noble
Personal Skill – Second-born’s Struggle: If unit’s HP drops below 50%, grants unit +20 to Hit Rate, +10 to Critical Rate, and +5 to Damage dealt.
Crest – Minor Crest of Blaiddyd: The Faerghus royal family’s Crest, inherited from Blaiddyd of the 10 Elites. Occasionally doubles Attack and weapon uses for combat arts.
Other Skills: Lance Prowess Level 1, Reason Prowess Level 1, Faith Prowess Level 1
Magic: Blizzard, Heal
Combat Arts: None
Starting Equipment: Training Lance, Vulnerary
Academy Appearance
Ivan and Dimitri are identical twins, so physically there’s not much difference between him and Dimitri. The only real difference would be that Ivan’s hair is subtly softer looking and messier, a few more bangs, a couple strands out of place, that sort of thing. Their differences come more from non-physical things, like how Ivan’s voice is softer, or how he holds himself differently, always fiddling with his clothes or having a hard time keeping eye contact, shy and introverted. As far as clothes go, Ivan wears the standard male Academy uniform, the only personal touches he wears being white gloves and a blue cape that wraps across the front of the shoulders and clasps on his left shoulder with a golden fastener that looks like the lion representing the Blue Lions (and Faerghus as a whole).
Relationship with Blue Lions at Academy
Dimitri: Dimitri is rather doting and protective of his brother, which Ivan is sometimes annoyed by since he’s only a few minutes younger than Dimitri. They have a close relationship, although there are several obvious signs that they are at odds with each other, especially considering Ivan’s darker feelings of jealousy and bitterness competing with his genuine love for his brother.
Dedue: While Dedue’s devotion is for Dimitri, he and Ivan have a comfortable relationship. Ivan sometimes sits in the garden with him, Dedue taking care of the plants while Ivan reads or composes.
Felix: Felix finds Ivan’s rather cold, black and white view towards justice aggravating but doesn’t always push him away like he does with Dimitri. Ivan is the one who puts more effort into trying to spend time with him though.
Sylvain: Sylvain enjoys teasing Ivan considering how timid he is and how he still has a habit of hiding behind Sylvain when spooked. But they have a fun and easygoing relationship. And they like talking about music.
Ingrid: They have many favorite foods in common thanks to how Ingrid comforted him all the time when they were young. Ivan gets frustrated with how Ingrid sometimes still treats him like a child who needs to be protected.
Mercedes: Ivan has a friendly rivalry with her, since she’s a fellow healer and mage. He often goes to her for advice and lessons to improve his own techniques. He closest to her after his brother and friends. Dimitri likes to joke that Mercedes is trying to steal his brother for herself. Ivan sometimes notices a brief odd look on Mercedes’ face when Dimitri says that though.
Annette: Since they both love music and have skills with magic, they get along well. But Annette is often embarrassed singing or writing songs in front of Ivan since she finds him far more skilled, while Ivan enjoys her work and wants to work with her if she’d let him.
Ashe: Bookworm babies! They have a little book club (made of the two of them) where they love exchanging notes on books they read. Ashe also enjoys getting to know Ivan since he’s been curious about Ivan ever since hearing all the rumors and jokes about “the pathetic second prince” growing up.
First Meeting with Ivan
“A-are you the one who helped Dimitri? I can’t thank you enough! O-oh, is my appearance throwing you off? I’m Dimitri’s twin, Ivan Alexis Blaiddyd. Although, other than my face, I’m not much like him…”
First Kill
“Stop shaking! I had to do it! …Yes, I had to. It’s what they deserve for all they’ve done.”
Cooking (Pre-Timeskip)
“I apologize in advance, Professor. Cooking was never my strong suit.”
“This isn’t going as badly as I’d feared…Wait, did I just curse us? Oh no.”
Cooking (Post-Timeskip)
“I’m still terrible at cooking, Professor. I’m sorry about that…”
“Okay, this isn’t too bad. Oh, I better stop speaking before I curse us.”
Choir Practice
(Pre-Timeskip) “I’ve loved music since I was a child. But I…I still don’t have the courage to perform in front of a lot of people…This should be good practice for that, right?”
(Post-Timeskip) “No matter how harsh this war gets, no matter how much it tries to break me, I won’t abandon my music. It’s something that’s mine. No one will steal it from me.”
Counselor Note
“I’ve been hearing people say some cruel things about me when they think I’m not around. I’m used to such comments, but it still affects me. And I don’t have the courage to say anything. What should I do?”
(Bad Answer): You should grow a spine and confront them!
(Bad Answer): If you point them out, I can say something to them on your behalf.
(Good Answer): Talk to someone you trust. They can give you the support you need to make a decision.
Lost Item
Items
Collection of Fairytales (A thick book of many tales of fantasy and adventure. Something is written on the inside of the front cover, but the writing is smudged. Probably belongs to someone who loves stories.)
Book of Scores (A book filled with pages upon pages of musical compositions. Each sheet is covered in detailed notes. Probably belongs to someone who loves music.)
Childhood Picture (A portrait, worn with age, of a group of smiling children. Some of the children look familiar. Probably belongs to someone with several friends.)
(If item belongs to him): “Thank you! I…I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost this.”
(If item doesn’t belong to him): “I’m sorry, Professor, you have the wrong person…”
Gift
Liked Gifts: Forget-me-nots, Book of Sheet Music, Board Game, Ceremonial Sword, Legends of Chivalry
Disliked Gifts: Training Weight, Riding Boots, Hunting Dagger
(Received gift he likes): “For me? Truly? I don’t know what to say…”
(Received gift that’s neutral): “I’m glad that you’re thinking of me.”
(Received gift he dislikes): “Umm…Thank you…? Please don’t give me that look, Professor.”
Tea Party (Pre-Timeskip)
Greeting: “Thank you for the invitation.”
Liked Topics: Tell me about yourself, You seem well, Evaluating allies, The ideal Professor, Working together, Thanks for everything…, Favorite sweets, Shareable snacks, The library’s collection, Our first meeting…, Children at the market, Fodlan’s future, Books you’ve read recently, A word of advice, Someone you look up to…, A place you’d like to visit…, Overcoming weaknesses, The view from the bridge, Cats…, I’m counting on you, Past laughs, The Opera…
Disliked Topics: Reliable allies, Being the perfect knight, You seem different…, Dining partners…, Hopes for your future, Things you find romantic, Food for life, Capable comrades, The existence of Crests, Classes you might enjoy, School uniforms, You’re doing great work, Close calls, Mighty weapons, Sturdy weapons, School days, Cooking mishaps, Equipment upkeep, Monastery rules, The last battle…, A new Gambit…, Working hours for guards
Comments
“Umm, I’m sorry if I’m a boring conversationalist. I was never a social person growing up.”
“I thought you accidentally invited me instead of my brother. It wouldn’t be the first time-Oh! I-I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Thank you for all the support you’ve given me. It means more to me than you realize.”
“I…I’ve been composing some songs recently. But no matter how hard I try, I’m not satisfied with them. But I suppose if it was easy then everyone would become musicians.”
“I’ve always hated battles, but I knew I would have to face them eventually. So I chose to study healing. I wanted, at the very least, to make sure I could keep the people I hold dear safe.”
Extended Time Comments
“This is for me? You’re too kind.”
“Umm, are you trying to spot differences between my face and Dimitri’s? There really isn’t much. Trust me, I’ve looked.”
“My hands shake after battles. I don’t know if they’ll ever stop…”
“Sorry, if I’m being too quiet for you, Professor. I’m not really used to all this.”
End of Tea Party: “Thank you, I had a great time! …Could we do this again?”
Tea Party (Post-Timeskip)
Greeting: “I’m sorry for the wait.”
Comments
“I think I’ve gotten a little better at conversation over the past five years. At least, I hope I have…”
“I appreciate you, Professor. I apologize if that sounds too blunt, but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for all you’ve done.”
“I still compose sometimes, during the few lulls between battles. Some soldiers once asked me to compose some songs for battles, but I refused. I can never do that…”
“People call me childish for still cherishing my books of adventures and wonder. But why is it wrong to hold them dear? Is it really a sin to want to escape from all of this, for just a moment?”
“I often dream of when I was younger. Before this war, before the Tragedy of Duscur. I…I wish life could be so simple again. I’m sorry, please ignore me…”
Extended Time Comments
“A gift? You’re truly a kind one, aren’t you?”
“My hands still shake after all these years. Is that a sign of weakness? Or a blessing that I’m not desensitized to killing…”
“My scar? Please, don’t worry. It aches when it’s particularly cold, but otherwise it doesn’t hurt me anymore.”
“Thank you, Professor, for all the faith you’ve shown in me. I’ll work hard so that I won’t let you down.”
End of Tea Party: “Thank you for inviting me. Peaceful moments like this are a blessing amidst all this chaos.”
Dining Hall (Pre-Timeskip)
Favorite Food: Shares many favorites with Ingrid, so if a food is her favorite it will most likely be his as well. Also loves sweets.
“This smells delicious! I can’t wait!”
“Oh, m-my favorite. Professor, thank you so much!”
With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)
Ivan: “What do you think, Dimitri? This dish makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”
Dimitri: “Yes, I agree. It feels comforting, odd as that may sound.”
Ivan: “You better have seconds, then!”
With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “What do you think of the food, Ivan?”
Ivan: “It’s good.”
Dimitri: “Oh, that’s good…I’m glad…”
With Felix
Felix: “Why do I have to eat with you?”
Ivan: “Felix, don’t act like such a stranger! We always did so much together as children. Eating, playing, crying-”
Felix: “You better stop while you’re ahead.”
With Ingrid
Ivan: “Look, Ingrid, it’s another one of our favorites!”
Ingrid: “I know! I don’t think I ever realized how many favorite dishes we shared.”
Ivan: “And whose fault is that?”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Good food, good atmosphere. Now if only it was a lovely lady by my side.”
Ivan: “Am…Am I bad company, Sylvain?”
Sylvain: “What? Oh, no, no! I was just kidding, Ivan, I swear!”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “Oh, Ivan, did the advice I give you before work out?”
Ivan: “Yes, thank you, Mercedes! I hope my healing will be more effective now. And I apologize for the trouble.”
Mercedes: “No trouble at all! I’m happy to see you grow! We’ll be quite the healing duo, won’t we?”
Dining Hall (Post-Timeskip)
“It smells so good. I’m more than ready for this.”
“…Did you pick my favorite on purpose, Professor? If so, thank you.”
With Dimitri
Ivan: “…I…I’ve missed eating with you, Brother.”
Dimitri: “…I’ve missed it too. Let’s try to eat together more, alright?”
Ivan: “Yes! We have several years to make up for, after all!”
With Felix
Felix: “Do you really have to sit with me so much during meals?”
Ivan: “If you hate it so much, why don’t you find another spot?”
Felix: “Hmph. Cheeky fool…”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “I’m glad we can share meals together again, Ivan. I’ve missed it more than you realize!”
Ivan: “I’ve missed it too. Who else is going to be meal buddies with me?”
Ingrid: “Umm, please tell that’s not what you’re going to call us…”
With Sylvain
Ivan: “Sylvain? You’ve been staring for a while. You’re going to make me blush if you keep this up.”
Sylvain: “Will I? Ooh, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you go red! …Seriously though, don’t mind me. It’s just…been a while, Ivan.”
Ivan: “…I’ve missed eating with you too, Sylvain.”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “It’s so lively eating with everyone else again, isn’t it, Ivan?”
Ivan: “I agree. Lots of noise and laughing. And I’ve missed discussing healing techniques with you, Mercedes.”
Mercedes: “Oh, I’ve missed that too! Let’s exchange notes after this, alright?”
Instruction (Pre-Timeskip)
Bad: “Ahh, I…I’m sorry…”
Good: “That wasn’t so bad.”
Great: “I understand…Let me review it once more.”
Perfect: “It’s all coming to me!”
(Praise): “Y-You’re too kind to me.”
(Console): “Th-thank you for your concern.”
(Scold): “…I’m sorry…”
Instruction (Post-Timeskip)
Bad: “I’m sorry about that…”
Good: “Alright, I’m doing better.”
Great: “I starting to understand. Let me review it.”
Perfect: “I get it now!”
(Praise): “Oh, umm, th-thank you.”
(Console): “Heh, come now, I’m no longer a child.”
(Scold): “…Sorry.”
Certification Exam
Pass: “Will I be of more use to everyone now?”
Fail (Pre-Timeskip): “Even after all that studying? I, ah…I’m sorry…”
Fail (Post-Timeskip): “Some things never change, I suppose…”
Class Mastery
“I’ll put this strength to good use. I promise.”
Group Tasks (Pre-Timeskip)
“I-I’ll do my best!”
(Perfect) “We did great, Professor! Ah, I mean, I didn’t mean to sound so shocked about that!”
(Good) “We finished the task. Though I fear I may have dragged us down…”
Weeding
With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)
Ivan: “Umm, Brother? You…You were joking when you once told me about those edible weeds, right?”
Dimitri: “What? No, of course not! Here, come with me, I’ll point them out to you!
Ivan: “Dimitri…”
With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “There sure are a lot of weeds, aren’t there?”
Ivan: “Uh-huh.”
Dimitri: “…Ivan…”
With Felix
Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”
Felix: “How are you enjoying this?”
Ivan: “I’m not. I’m distracting myself.”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “Ivan, I don’t mean to push, but could you hum for us? This task is dreadfully boring.”
Ivan: “You read my mind, Ingrid! One song, coming up.”
Ingrid: “Thank you!”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Ugh, weeding. I can think of at least a dozen things I’d rather do than weeding.”
Ivan: “Keep at it, Sylvain. So long as you concentrate, we’ll be done soon enough.”
Sylvain: “I know, I know…”
With Mercedes
Ivan: “Say, Mercedes. I have a question about the weeds around here.”
Mercedes: “Do you? Well, I’ll do my best to answer, if I can! What is it?”
Ivan: “Are they…? Actually, never mind. I think I would prefer to live in blissful ignorance.”
Stable Duty
With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “Are you okay, Ivan? You can stay over there if you want, I can take care of this.”
Ivan: “No, I appreciate the thought. But…I must be brave. I must!”
Dimitri: “So long as you don’t push yourself.”
With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “Ivan. Are you-?”
Ivan: “I’m fine, Dimitri.”
Dimitri: “The way you’re shaking says otherwise.”
With Felix
Felix: “You’re still afraid of horses? After all this time?”
Ivan: “I-I’m working on getting over it, I swear!”
Felix: “You’ve been saying that for years…”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “When we were younger, whenever I asked if you wanted to help me take care of my horse, you’d freeze in place. What made you so scared of them in the first place?”
Ivan: “Honestly, it’s been so long, I can’t remember anymore.”
Ingrid: “Hmm, how sad…Horses aren’t as bad as you think, you know.”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Alright, Ivan, my back is ready and here for you to hide behind!”
Ivan: “Sylvain…”
Sylvain: “Haha, sorry! But seriously, if you need a break, I’m right here, okay?”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “Are you alright? You’ve been trembling for a while now.”
Ivan: “It’s pathetic…No matter how hard I try, I can never feel at ease around horses.”
Mercedes: “Oh my, I see. But please, don’t call yourself pathetic! We all have our fears.”
Sky Watch
With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)
Ivan: “Brother…”
Dimitri: “Deep breaths, Ivan. The Pegasi at the monastery are tame and gentle, they won’t hurt you.”
Ivan: “My head knows that, but my heart doesn’t agree.”
With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “Ivan?”
Ivan: “I don’t want to talk right now.”
Dimitri: “I-I see.”
With Felix
Felix: “How long do you plan on staring at the ground? You have to keep your eyes ahead if you want to keep watch.”
Ivan: “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Felix, but can we not speak right now?”
Felix: “You’re ridiculous…”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “You’ve been looking pale since we set off. Are you really that bad with Pegasi too?”
Ivan: “I know it’s pathetic, you don’t have to say anything.”
Ingrid: “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that.”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Hmm, I guess I can see why Pegasi freak you out as much as horses do. I mean, Pegasi are basically horses with wings.”
Ivan: “Sylvain, please…”
Sylvain: “Hey, no need to glare like that! I’m shutting up now.”
With Mercedes
Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”
Mercedes: “Ivan, are you okay? Your humming sounds rather distressed.”
Ivan: “I’m okay! I swear, I’m okay!”
Perfect Result
With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “We did well! Great work today, Ivan.”
Ivan: “Please, the credit should be all yours.”
With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “We did a great job together, didn’t we?”
Ivan: “…We did well, I suppose.”
With Felix
Felix: “Well, I guess that wasn’t so bad.”
Ivan: “You worked especially hard, Felix!”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “The job’s done, Professor! You did a good job, Ivan.”
Ivan: “Not as good a job as you did, Ingrid.”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “A perfect job! C’mon, Ivan, where’s my praise?
Ivan: “Yes, yes, you did a good job, my friend.”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “It was a lot of hard work, but we’re done now!”
Ivan: “Thanks for all your help, Mercedes!”
Good Result
With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)
Dimitri: “My, that was hard work. Are you alright, Ivan?”
Ivan: “I’m fine. Sorry if I was going too slow.”
With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)
Ivan: “The job’s done, Professor.”
Dimitri: “Yes, we…we worked hard.”
With Felix
Ivan: “That was a lot of work. I’m sorry if I dragged us down, Felix.”
Felix: “Always looking to blame yourself for something, aren’t you?”
With Ingrid
Ivan: “Thank you for all your help, Ingrid.”
Ingrid: “My thanks to you as well, Ivan!”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Finally! I thought we’d never be done!”
Ivan: “I hope it wasn’t my fault we took so long…”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “I’m exhausted, but we did well, didn’t we, Ivan?”
Ivan: “I agree. Thank you, Mercedes.”
Group Tasks (Post-Timeskip)
“My, this brings back memories, doesn’t it?”
(Perfect) “I hope we met your expectations, Professor!”
(Good) “I hope we didn’t cause extra work for someone else.”
Clearing Rubble
With Dimitri
Dimitri: “There’s so much rubble around here. Forgive me for letting all of you deal with it by yourselves for so long.”
Ivan: “It’s alright, Brother…Just make sure to pull your weight from now on, alright?”
Dimitri: “I promise, I will.”
With Felix
Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”
Felix: “…Never thought I’d actually miss that.”
Ivan: “Huh? What did you say, Felix?”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “So much rubble! It truly is a disaster.”
Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm~”
Ingrid: “…Heh, well, at least one of us seems to be having fun.”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Good grief, every time we clear this area it’s like someone dumps another load of rubble just to spite us!”
Ivan: “The monastery did take a lot of damage over these past five years. Let’s work hard, okay?”
Sylvain: “I know…”
With Mercedes
Ivan: “Are you doing alright, Mercedes? If you need to take a break, feel free.”
Mercedes: “No, don’t mind me! It’s hard work but I’ve been training a lot these past five years!”
Ivan: “Haha, I see!”
Stable Duty
With Dimitri
Ivan: “…It’s not by much, but I think I’ve gotten a little more used to horses.”
Dimitri: “That’s wonderful, Ivan! You’ve grown so much while I wasn’t around. I’m proud of you.”
Ivan: “Th-that’s a little too much, don’t you think?”
With Felix
Felix: “Well, looks who’s not shaking like a newborn fawn.”
Ivan: “I’ve grown since you last saw me, Felix! I-Ah! S-stay away!”
Felix: “Hah…Well, at least he isn’t running away.”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “I’m glad to see you’re a little calmer around horses now.”
Ivan: “Well, I can’t be a cowardly child forever, can I?”
Ingrid: “…You’ve worked hard, haven’t you?”
With Sylvain
Ivan: “I must tell you, Sylvain, you won’t see me cowering behind you anymore! I’ve gotten a little more used to horses now, so I-Ahh!”
Sylvain: “You sure you don’t wanna cower behind me?”
Ivan: “…P-please don’t tell anyone.”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “Aww, these horses are rather sweet, aren’t they, Ivan?”
Ivan: “…Yes, I-I suppose they’re not so bad.”
Mercedes: “So long as you’re patient and gentle, I’m sure the day will come when they won’t scare you anymore.”
Sky Watch
With Dimitri
Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~ Dimitri, you’ve been quiet for a while. Are you surprised to hear me humming?”
Dimitri: “I admit, seeing you at ease enough to hum atop a Pegasus is surprising. But…I was just focused on your voice. I’ve missed your music…”
Ivan: “…Then, what’s your request? I’ll perform for you later, like when we were children.”
With Felix
Felix: “You’ve finally calmed down around Pegasi, have you?”
Ivan: “Well, yes and no. I still feel terrible around them, but I’ve gotten better at pushing through regardless of my fear.”
Felix: “Hmm…Not bad, I guess.”
With Ingrid
Ivan: “Ingrid, what is it about Pegasi that make you like them so much?”
Ingrid: “Well, I’ve always adored horses, so I suppose loving Pegasi was just natural. I adore the feeling of flying beneath the blue skies, the wind whipping past. It’s exhilarating!”
Ivan: “I see…I guess that does sound interesting.”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Hey, Ivan, how’re you doing over there? Don’t panic now.”
Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”
Sylvain: “Heh, he’s in his own little world.”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “Hmm, hmm, hmm~”
Ivan: “Your humming sounds nice, Mercedes.”
Mercedes: “Why, thank you! I can see why you enjoy humming so much. It’s so relaxing!”
Perfect Result
With Dimitri
Ivan: “Well done, Dimitri! We never would’ve finished as fast as we did without you.”
Dimitri: “You’re the one who deserves most of the credit, Ivan.”
With Felix
Felix: “I suppose there are worse partner to work beside.”
Ivan: “Why, that just may be the nicest thing you’ve said to me since we reunited.”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “We managed to take care of everything. Thank you for all the help, Ivan!”
Ivan: “I’m glad to have been of service. Thank you as well, Ingrid!”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “Whew! All in a day’s work, huh, Ivan?”
Ivan: “You worked hard, Sylvain. Good job.”
With Mercedes
Mercedes: “We did well today! It’s all thanks to you, Ivan!”
Ivan: “Oh please, you’re the one who deserves the praise, Mercedes.”
Good Result
With Dimitri
Ivan: “Alright, the job’s done. I didn’t hold you back, did I?”
Dimitri: “You could never hold me back.”
With Felix
Ivan: “Good work today, Felix! We had fun, didn’t we?”
Felix: “Are you honestly saying that with a straight face?”
With Ingrid
Ingrid: “That was exhausting, but we finished up, Professor.”
Ivan: “Thanks for all the help, Ingrid!”
With Sylvain
Sylvain: “We’re done! Man, that was such a pain!”
Ivan: “Was it really that bad? I thought we were doing well.”
With Mercedes
Ivan: “We’ve finished the job, Professor. I’m sorry it took so long.”
Mercedes: “My, I’m exhausted! I’m glad you were there to help out, Ivan.”
#submission#willow#other dimitri au#bae's tags: I LOVE THIS AND I NEED TO REREAD IT!!#i NEED to know what went down in ivan and dima's support..... a fight?? wHAT FIGHT... what fight that went off and changed their groupwork#quotes....#ALSO i love love ivan's relationship with mercie!!#actually i love this au of the original au in the first place#you know what breaks my heart the most in the og au?#the DAGGER#god#imagining ivan getting it for dima and then just getting it delivered to himself is heartbreaking#sylvain and ivan's relationship in the au au is so cute too.... ivan doesnt want to hide behind him but...#i cant wait for part 2 angst!!!!#bc i need to see what happens to the boy in the timeskip!!!#also a 50% mag growth... whew
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Coming Fulfillment of Daryl’s “Last Man Standing” Status?
LOL. I decided to make this its own post because it's probably going to be kind of long (for an Ask, anyway). The answer is that you really can’t. They’re not posted anywhere. Just discussions we were all geeking out about in our group one day.
I'm kinda sorry I mentioned this because I be getting all kinds of questions about it. I'm really not trying to tease you guys. I swear, LOL. It's just that my excitement for this tends to filter through and I spill out little mentions of it in my posts.
But all I'm happy to let you guys know what we’re discussing in our group, so long as you understand that it’s just conjecture. We’re super excited about it, but we’re also operating on one very large assumption. If that assumption turns out to be untrue, this entire theory will be null and void. So just keep that in mind.
This really has more to do with the official AMC synopsis than actual spoilers, but I’m gonna put the rest below a Read More anyway. Just so no one gets mad at me for talking about stuff that hasn't happened on the show yet. So, if you want to know why were excited about synopsis of 9x07, even though it's really just our own conjecture and head canons, click the read more.
First of all, 9x07 is called Stradivarius. Remember that that indicates a very particular musical instrument, and that many of the 7th episodes of the seasons connect. (Details HERE.)
Okay, so the synopsis for season episode seven says this:
“Carol seeks out an old friend living alone in a wilderness teeming with walkers; survivors make the perilous trek to a new home.”
The assumption we’re making is that the person Carol goes to visit in the woods is Daryl. And we’re not the only slice of the fandom to make that assumption. At the very least, the C@rylers are too, though for a different reason.
I mean, who else would be living by themselves out of the woods? So, we’re thinking that after he loses Rick, Daryl will shut down completely, leave TF and the communities and go to live by himself in the woods.
So you see what I mean by the assumption? If it turns out that we’re wrong and it's not Daryl she goes to see in the woods, nothing I’m about to say will be the case. I do think that it probably is Daryl. He's the one that makes the most sense.
(The only other possibility I'm seeing is perhaps Morgan. Normally, I probably wouldn't consider him, since he didn't end up heading back at the end FTWD this season, and they do have another season of FTWD green-lighted already.
But, keep two things in mind.
1) This is probably going to be after whatever time jump comes post-Rick, which means Morgan will have more than enough time to make his way back to Virginia. It could just be that the timelines for Fear and TWD will be out of sync for a while.
2) There is the possibility of Duane making an appearance in 7x16, which might suggest Morgan's reemergence in the TWD story. Granted, that might not be true at all, but these are just some possibilities swirling around. Overall, I think Daryl is the more likely one.)
So, operating on the assumption that it’s Daryl Carol goes to see, do you see why that's a big deal for TD? Think back to all the stuff that was foreshadowed in S4. It's so interesting because as we move forward, we’re realizing there's more foreshadowing than even TD ever realized.
In Beth and Daryl’s fight in Still, it became obvious that Daryl thought everybody else at the prison was dead. He was especially broken up about losing Rick. We know this because right before he says the line, "you ain’t never gonna see Maggie again," he kind of whispers Rick's name.
So, we had a situation where he thought he’d lost Rick, and then he went into his broken down, robotic, survival mode. It's looking like we might repeat of that now. The only difference here is that Beth is not with him. Together, the two of them ended up in a little cabin in the woods alone. We’ll see a repeat of that, too, but sans Beth. Daryl will go into his broken down, robotic survival mode and become a hermit, living by himself in the woods.
And who was the only person who could bring him out of that mindset and help him to face his emotions live again? Beth. We've always said that she's the only one who will be able to bring him out of the mind set he’s been in since S5, but that's going to be true 10x over when he loses Rick for real. (Or so he thinks.)
Now think back to all the lines that Beth said. I was thinking about the whole “You’re going to be the last man standing” line. We’ve seen various possibilities for this line’s fulfillment in past seasons, but it's going to come pass in a very literal way when Rick dies.
Let me explain. Think of all the major male players present at the prison at the beginning of S4: Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Hershel, Tyreese and Bob. Of course there were other men there, but these are the main characters whose names and stories we knew.
Daryl is not the only person left from the prison. At this point in the show, the only people who are still alive who lived the prison are Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Carol, and Maggie. And of course baby Judith. When Rick “dies,” it will only be Daryl and the three ladies left (until Beth returns, of course, but she’s still a woman, not a man). Daryl will literally be the last MAN standing.
Yes, it’s a play on the phrase because it is not the last person, but that’s just the writers having fun.
It’s even important that it was specifically Beth who told Daryl he would be last man standing. Not another character like Carol or Michonne. That suggests that him being the last man standing is somehow associated with her return. She was never going to return until he hit “last man standing” status. When Rick goes, he final will.
Remember that Beth also talked about not being Carol or Michonne or Maggie. I’ve been saying for a while that those three ladies (and Beth) would be leading at some point in the apocalypse. With Rick gone, all of them will be in leadership positions. So, all we need now is for Beth to reemerge to pull Daryl out of his emotional funk and then chances are he'll go back to leadership with her.
See why we’re super excited over this? We’re getting back to the exact same place Daryl was in Still. So once again, he's either going to stay that way forever, die, or Beth has to come back to help him out of it.
Unfortunately, depending on how long the time jump is, Daryl may live like this for a while. ☹ If there really is a time jump of years, it's likely he’ll live by himself the woods for a long time. Carol going to see him represents that something’s happened that will probably lead to him changing and coming back to TF.
There's not a more perfect time to bring Beth back than this scenario. In fact, everything foreshadowed in S4 is coming to pass now.
In a way, this sort of confirms the 4 Poker Queens Theory. Just saying.
So yeah, that's the gist. And just one more time, if we’re wrong about who Carol goes to see and Daryl is still with TF after Rick leaves, that doesn’t mean Beth won't be back, but none of the things I’ve said here will apply.
Thoughts? Who’s excited?
#beth greene#beth greene lives#beth is alive#beth is coming#td theory#td theories#team delusional#team defiance#beth is almost here#bethyl
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The Four (Thousand, New) Questions
When I was growing up, I didn't really have to think too much about what it meant to be a Jewish American. A large part of that was living in New Jersey, where being a member of the tribe isn’t exactly an anomaly. In Newark, pretty much all of my friends were Jewish or Black, until I spent 2nd grade in Catholic School. You’d think that might make it weird, but even then, it wasn’t. All my new friends just had Irish and Italian names, and I got to sit in the back during mass and read, which is the dream of every second grader. And when we moved to the suburbs, things became, if anything, more Jewy. We joined Temple Israel and actually tried going to services every once in a while, and I went to Hebrew school on Saturdays. At my suburban public grade school, I learned the term “Jappy” something my friends and I called other girls that we considered spoiled, regardless of whether or not they were Jewish, and in junior high, the school bus that came from the most wealthy, Jewish neighborhood in town was sometimes referred to as “The Jew Canoe.” Who did we learn these terms from? Other Jews. We were the ones trading in the laughable stereotypes, because that’s American Jewish culture all over: we joke because we can. It’s never been in doubt in my lifetime that we belong here, to the degree that we are comfortable poking fun at ourselves, enough that while we are very aware that we aren’t and will never be the majority — and if you forget that, you always have the 30 to 60 days of Christmas to remind you — we are perfectly okay with that; and enough to feel safe in the knowledge that the past is the past, because in the Tri-State Area in the 1970s and 80s, anti-Semitism was about as real to me as Star Wars: something that existed long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The same thing with Nazis. Nazis were the movie villains nobody got upset about. Nobody ever said, “Why do the Nazis always have to be the bad guys?” Why? Because they were the bad guys.
That doesn’t mean that my Jewish identity was 100% uncomplicated, mostly because I was raised to figure stuff out for myself. Mine were the kind of parents who took us to fancy restaurants and said, “Want to order the escargot? Have at it!”, perhaps not realizing that they’d end up with a seven-year-old who liked to try every appetizer on the menu but had a stomach the size of a golfball – which led to my parents gaining weight in the 70s, which led to their joining the exercise craze in the 80s...See how history happens? Being able to make my own decisions meant I could quit Hebrew school after one year (I was already a well-practiced quitter of stuff I didn't like, such as wearing dresses and learning the violin). I felt a little guilty about it, so I was definitely Jewish in that way, but one of the reasons I couldn’t get behind religious school was the fact that Judaism was supposedly my religion, but – go figure – our family was not religious. My parents don’t agree on which type of not-religious they are, since my mother describes herself as an atheist and my father calls himself an agnostic, but that’s only if you push them, since neither of them cares enough about it either way. They still identify as Jewish, and therein lay the confusion for me: Judaism is kind of an ethnic identity as well as a religion, but in a weird way, because you can convert to it, which you can’t do with, say, Slavic, and because it’s not one where we all come from one specific place, since Jews were basically driven out of everywhere. Sure, my family were all driven out of one country, Poland, but that didn’t exactly make them feel Polish. No, we were definitely Jews, just the secular kind, which is actually a thing — although I didn’t know anyone else like that in high school, the result being that in my group of friends, a mix of Jews and non-Jews, I was in my own category of Jewish, But Doesn’t Know When Any of the Holidays Are.
When I went to college on the West Coast, where I was meeting new people all the time, it was common for people tell me I didn’t “look Jewish,” which seemed to just fit right in with every other confusing part of my Jewish identity. You might think that, as a stealth Jew, I’d finally be privy to negativity about us, but that never happened. That was around the time of the rise of the religious right, and there were a lot of born-again Christians at Stanford, my freshman dorm was full of them. But while they may have believed I was going to hell, most of them still seemed happy to hang with me while we were alive – one of them even took me out for fro yo once (that’s short for “frozen yogurt,” and eating it together at Stanford in 1987 was called “dating”). If anything, being Jewish around them was an advantage, because they never tried to rebirth me the way they did other Christians, like my poor freshman roommate – I would come back to our room to find her surrounded by a group of them, looking uncomfortable, like she was getting hit on by Jesus. Mind you, I know now that my school was a liberal bubble inside the liberal bubble that was Northern California, and that protected me from a lot of things. But while we were definitely dealing with racism and sexism on campus at the time, anti-Semitism? That just wasn’t a thing.
Neither was being a Jewish person who didn’t support Israel. I didn’t know all that much about Israel growing up. I knew that it was the Jewish state, where I had once had some relatives, and that my cousins and eventually my brother — who finished Hebrew school — went to visit because they felt like it was an important way to learn about who they were. I didn’t. But when, in college, I had my first conversation with someone who’d lived in Israel about the way that Israelis felt this constant existential threat to their existence that justified their defensive posture when it came to negotiating peace with the Palestinians, even though they clearly had vast military superiority, I didn’t necessarily agree, but I got it. I understood why Israelis felt that, in a visceral, six-million-dead-just-because-they-were-like-you way that I think most non-Jews can’t.
That was probably as much of a surprise to me as it was to anyone: that, on some level, in spite of not looking Jewish, or being able to speak Hebrew, or knowing what Sukkot was (if it wasn’t about eating or presents, it didn’t make it into the Nagler Canon of Holidays), I actually still somehow just was Jewish. And that part of my identity might never have really sunk in if I hadn’t become a New Yorker. Moving here didn’t just mean that I discovered Zabars, or that I was a bagel snob, or that I would be able to have lox at catering pretty much every day (and occasionally take some home if it was really good), although those things did indeed happen. New York was able to absorb and assimilate Jewish culture in a way that allowed it to flourish as one distinct flavor of the whole that is this city of many flavors. New York is a Jewish city – in same way that it’s also Italian, Irish, African-American, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Russian, Indian, Dominican, Pakistani, Caribbean, Mexican, and the list goes on depending on who’s arrived recently and who’s coming next. And so, from the way I relate to food, to my sense of humor, to my analytical and intellectual side, to how forthright/tactless I can be, to my overall worldview: living here enabled me to recognize that I just wouldn’t be this way if I weren’t Jewish.
Everything feels different in 2019 in so many, surreal ways, but what exactly it means to be Jewish in America is definitely a big one. I’ve felt some vulnerability and uncertainty as a woman for most of my life, as you do, but I’ve never felt that way about being a Jew until now. To the point that I can’t call myself “a Jew” any more, because suddenly, that’s an epithet. How the hell did that happen? When did we allow them to take that word away? Then there’s the realization of, Wait, we can’t make those jokes any more because there are people who actually still think that shit about us? And they’re telling other people? Fucking internet. Add to that the fault lines within the American Jewish community over Israel and the ground really starts to feel like it’s swaying under your feet. How much we should continue to support this country that seems increasingly unrecognizable to me, that is so racked by fear and sectarianism that it appears to have given up on peace and democracy, that votes for a leader who has demonstrated time and again that he is both racist and corrupt? Well, now that I’ve put it like that, okay, maybe this is something that Israel and the United States have in common right now, but that doesn’t make it any better for those of use who are trying to stay on the sane side of it all. I’m lucky that most of my family is in agreement with me on these issues, but my mother has some cousins with whom she is close that she had to ask to stop sending her political emails, because their conservative views about Israel seemed to have somehow spread to abortion and immigration, despite that fact that they live in San Francisco. Jewish Trump supporters? From the Bay Area? What the hell is the going on?! Come on, this can’t be us. When an audience at the Republican Jewish Coalition cheers when Trump says “Our country’s full. You can’t come in,” don’t they hear the eerie echos of what the American government said to the boats full of Jews they sent back to be slaughtered in the holocaust? Don’t they know that we are supposed to be sharp, and educated, and fucking liberals? Oh, wait, is “liberal” now a bad word not just among conservatives but for some on the left too, as in the “liberal elite who control everything” that they’re always talking about? But, double wait, wasn’t that just another way anti-Semites used to say “the Jews” without saying “the Jews”? But triple wait, aren’t Bernie Sanders and Glenn Greenwald Jewish? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Of course, this about when all of your older Jewish relatives shake their heads at all of this and say, “See? This is exactly the shit always happens to us. Somehow, when things go bad in the world, and people start believing crazy conspiracy shit, that always turns back on the Jews.” I never believed that before, so to see it sort of happening right before my eyes is really something. But at the same time, I’m sure as hell not going to let that make me just silo up. Yeah, there are the swastikas, and the Tree of Life synagogue shooting, and “Jews will not replace us,” but can we honestly say we have it worse than everyone else who’s under attack in this country right now? What’s the point of joining a grievance competition that just gives the people who are trying to divide the left exactly what they want? It’s how, when the new questions that confuse and divide us just keep coming — What do we say or not say about Ilhan Omar? What about the schism in the Women’s March? What about the Senate bill that would allow state and local governments to withhold contracts from those who boycott Israel that Chuck Schumer supported? — they just get us to go after each other.
Let’s not do that. Sure, maybe this is just another case of me getting older and less able to accept how the world is changing — sort of a, “Damn Nazis, get off my lawn!” type of thing – and maybe I should just go along with this new normal. But that's one thing I know is definitely not me. MoTs like to talk shit out, sometimes too much, but eh. Let’s bring that tradition of analysis and argument — and I mean the kind where you’re forthright and emotional, but you still know how to listen — to bear on the questions we’re having both on the left and in the Jewish community about how we move forward, instead of fleeing back into our fears from the past.
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Before the Devil Part Two
Summary: While living in the prison, Miranda tries to navigate life with so many new faces and deal with her attraction to everyone’s favorite redneck hunter.
Characters: Daryl x OC Warnings: language, mentions of sex Beta: my very wonderful @sarcasticrose18 A/N: So this is a two part fic. I wrote it a few years ago back when I was all about Daryl and just found it buried in my docs. So I thought I’d edit it and post it for anyone interested in reading how Miranda and Daryl got together. I will not be continuing it, it’s just a prequel to Deal with the Devil.
Enjoy!
Masterlist Part One
Before the Devil Part Two
Days later, five frustrating days later in fact, Miranda was sharpening her knife out in the sun. She’d been unable to get Daryl, or the talk with Maggie, off her mind. She went back and forth on the idea of just throwing herself out there. The worst thing he could do is say no, right? It’s not like she’d never been rejected before but this would be worse. Not only were picking pretty slim, but she’d still have to face him every day thanks to their close quarters. But the more she thought about it, the more she wanted him.
“Hey Miranda, I'm goin' on a run. You comin'?” Daryl asked, surprising the hell out of her as he tore her from her thoughts. She felt herself flush as she was caught thinking about him again.
“Uh...yeah?” She said, although it came out as more of a question. She hadn’t been expecting him to come to her this time but she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity. He nodded and she went in to grab her bag, notifying Cathy on her way out. They took his bike this time and she tried not to be affected by being so close to him but she was pressed up against his back with her arms around his waist and her legs surrounding his hips. The vibrations from the motorcycle between her legs weren’t exactly helping matters.
They drove for awhile, long enough for her to calm down about the situation and just enjoy the ride. She'd always liked motorcycles but never had the chance to ride one. It was a little worrisome at first but once she got used to it she really enjoyed the freedom. He eventually pulled to a stop in front of a little convenience store that looked promising. It was in the middle of nowhere so hopefully it hadn't been raided too terribly.
They entered the place cautiously, after banging on the doors to stir anything inside. There was one walker but it was crushed under a shelf and couldn't move much. They killed it anyways. They roamed the mostly empty aisles, a little disappointed at the lack of product, and even checked under them. Some of the best stuff she'd found was things that had been dropped and rolled under. She snagged some chocolate off the floor before going behind the counter.
“Grab me some smokes if you find any.” Daryl called to her as he looked around for anything useful. She snagged a couple packs lying around but most of it had been cleaned out. She did find some aspirin and a couple boxes of condoms. She picked it up and was reminded of her earlier dilemma. “Find anything?” Daryl asked, leaning over the counter. She jumped and dropped the box.
“Uhm...yeah, here.” She said, blushing profusely as she handed him the packs she found. He snorted at the box of condoms she’d dropped.
“Guess Glenn'll appreciate these, huh?” He said and tossed them in her bag. She sighed and stood up. He lit a cigarette as they left and leaned against his bike to smoke it.
“Do you...” Miranda tried, she really did. But she chickened out. She couldn’t remember having such little confidence talking to a man she liked. It was embarrassing. “Nevermind.”
“What?” Daryl asked with a furrowed brow. She shook her head. “Just spit it out.” He snapped and she sighed.
“Do you ever...I don't know, miss it?” She asked, kicking the gravel beneath her feet. He quirked a brow at her, not following.“You know...having a need for a condom?” She explained, rolling her eyes. He scoffed and shook his head.
“Ain't got time for it these days.” He said, looking a bit uncomfortable.
“Maggie and Glenn find time.” She reminded him. He looked at her again, contemplating it.
“What? You missin' it?” He asked and she blushed. Thunder sounded above them and they looked up at the dark clouds rolling in, seemingly out of nowhere. The wind had picked up a bit too. “C'mon. Need to get home before that hits.” He said and flicked his cigarette on the ground. She hopped on the bike behind him and silently wished they'd taken a car.
They'd made it maybe half way back when the rain hit but he kept going. It wasn’t too bad at first but eventually it was pouring hard and fast enough for it to be dangerous. They went in search of shelter when they came across a house, buried back in the trees a bit. It looked a little old but not like it was going to fall from the weight of the rain and wind. He pulled up the drive and parked his bike on the side of the house, hiding it a bit in the trees so it wouldn't be seen from the road. They went inside and searched the house. It was empty, which was very lucky. They blocked the door with the couch and started searching for anything useful. Like dry clothes, that was Miranda’s priority for the moment. She found some things that would fit them and hung their wet clothes in the bathroom after they’d changed. Daryl had found a couple candles and had them lit downstairs by the time she came down.
“Anything to eat?” She asked, pulling her wet hair up. She hoped he wouldn't notice she'd left her bra upstairs. She had soaked through her clothes and whatever woman lived here before definitely wasn't the same size as her. A downside to having pretty small breasts.
“Some beans. Most the food is expired or stale.” He told her, something they'd been finding a lot of. Unless it were canned, it generally wasn't safe to eat anymore. Most boxed food had expired a while back. She sat down beside him on the loveseat, the only place to sit that wasn't up against the door. He opened a can and handed it to her before opening one for himself. They were quiet as they ate and Miranda wondered if she'd made him uncomfortable with their talk earlier. It was hard to tell because he was so quiet anyways but she was worried she’d ruined her chances of being invited out again.
“Wanna see if they have a deck of cards or something? Kill some time while we wait for the rain to let up.” She asked and he shrugged. She got up and searched the kitchen, finally coming across a deck in the mess of someone's old junk drawer. She found it funny that everyone had a drawer saved for random things that didn't have any where else to go. She sat on the floor by the coffee table and Daryl scooted down to do the same. She dealt the cards and they played a few hands but it got boring pretty fast. Daryl sighed and threw his cards down as she beat him again.
“Maybe they have monopoly?” She suggested with a sheepish look and he rolled his eyes. She got up and started looking around, just to give herself something to do. She searched all the cupboards, even grabbing a chair to check the one above the fridge. She found a bottle of whiskey sitting up there, unopened. She grinned and hopped down to show Daryl.
“Shit, hand it over.” He said, pulling himself up on the couch again. She sat beside him as he took the bottle. He opened it up and gave a good swig. “Don' drink too much. Just in case.” He said, his eyes darting to the door. She nodded, knowing they had to be careful out in the real world. If someone showed up or they needed to get out fast, they didn't want to be drunk. They each took a couple swigs, just enough to get a good buzz.
“Can't remember the last time I had anything to drink.” She said, setting the bottle on the table. He hummed and tilted his head back to rest on the couch.
“How old are you?” He asked, his face scrunching up as he realized he didn't know.
“Twenty-Eight, you?” He grimaced at her answer.
“Lot older than that.” She nudged his knee with her foot. “Forty-five.” He admitted reluctantly. She chuckled and got comfortable on the little sofa, letting her feet rest in his lap as she stretched out. He tensed for a moment but didn't make her move.
“So, what's the plan for sleeping? Think one of us should stay up an' keep watch?” She asked, her accent a bit thicker thanks to the alcohol and exhaustion. He chewed his lip as he considered it.
“Nuh, just put some of those empty cans on a string in front of the staircase. If anyone comes up, we'll hear 'em.” He said and shoved her feet off his lap so he could get to it. She gathered her things and took them upstairs. There were only three bedrooms; one was a nursery, one obviously belonged to a kid maybe Carl’s age, and then the parents’ room. She took her stuff to the master bedroom and made a mental note to search the nursery for anything Judith could use before they left. Finding baby stuff was hard these days thought they'd been very lucky so far. Daryl stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment. “I could take the couch,” He offered, pointing his thumb over his shoulder as he realized what their sleeping arrangements would be.
“It's fine. I don't mind sharing.” Miranda said without looking at him. She pulled her hair down, letting it fall in messy waves, as he walked in and laid on the bed with a sigh. She took off the sweat pants she'd been wearing and he raised an eyebrow at her. “I can't sleep in pants.” She shrugged as she crawled under the covers, trying not to flash him
Daryl cleared his throat and shifted as he tried to give her enough space on the bed so they wouldn't touch. She curled on her side, her back to him, and listened to the rain hitting the roof as she fell asleep after a while, thinking to herself how lucky they were that it wasn't leaking.
Hours later she woke up with a start after another nightmare. She sighed and clutched her pillow tightly. Wait, pillows aren't supposed to move. Her whole body tensed as the body beneath her groaned and shifted slightly. She felt arms circle her torso and pull her closer. She took a few slow deep breaths as she remembered where she was and realized whose arms she was in. Her body didn't relax but instead grew tense for a whole new reason. Instead of wanting to run in fear from the stirring body, she wanted to be closer and she knew that was a bad idea. She looked up just as Daryl was opening his eyes. She watched him blink in confusion for a moment before looking down at her.
“Hi,” Her voice sounded so small and soft from sleep. She was worried how he would react but despite his arms twitching in discomfort he didn't move either.
“Hi...” He grunted, his tone rough and low. Miranda considered again that maybe she should just go for it. Now would be the perfect time, considering they were all alone. But before she could even figure out a way to approach the topic, Daryl spoke again. “Should be gettin' up. Get an early start.” He said and she moved off of him instantly. She crawled out of bed first while he stretched his sore muscles. They each took turns getting dressed in their old clothes, thankfully dry after hanging all night. Then they gathered their things and, after stealing some clothes from the nursery, they headed back out on the road. The sky was blissfully clear again and the roads safe to travel, apart from the occasional branch strewn across the road. They made it back to the prison without any more trouble and she got off the bike as he parked it, noticing the thick tension. She paused, worried again that she'd fucked things up.
“Daryl?” She started and he turned from rummaging in his bags to look at her. “I'm sorry…’bout last night. Or this morning...which ever.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She hated the awkwardness of the situation. There was a time that she’d be able to handle shit like this gracefully, without feeling like a fool about it. Something about Daryl though...
“S'fine.” He muttered and pursed his lips in thought for a moment. “Best sleep I've had in a while.” He admitted before walking away, leaving her behind with a dumbfounded look on her face.
They kept up a routine like that for a while. One of them would get restless and they’d find some excuse to get out for a while. She knew the other members of the group were starting to gossip about them, thanks to her mother and her big mouth, but she didn’t care. She just enjoyed the time she got to spend with him and wormed her way a bit closer to him. They started to talk more as they went out frequently. They’d spend the drive discussing things from the old world or people from the one they lived in now. They avoided talking about Merle or the Governor or her dad for the most part to keep the mood light.
She still hadn’t been able to get him to tell her what he did back in the day and that was frustrating but she was determined. At least she got more than one guess a day.
“Uhhh.. you worked as a bartender.” Miranda guessed as he drove the truck down the road.
“Nope.” He said, chewing on the end of a piece of jerky.
“A cop?”
“Ya already guessed that one.” He reminded her.
“Oh right, sorry. Umm.. How ‘bout...a male prostitute?”
“What--ya serious?” Daryl huffed a laugh, a rarity for him. “That’s your guess?”
“Hey you never know. With those guns I bet people paid good--Holy shit! Pull over!” Miranda gasped as they passed a strip mall and he nearly swerved into a pole at the way she’d startled him.
“What the fuck? Why? There’s nothin’ here.” Daryl inquired, sounding annoyed. He pulled into the parking lot anyways to appease her.
“Nothing here? I beg to differ.” Miranda scoffed and pointed to a store at the end. He looked at her curiously but didn’t argue. For once she didn’t give him shit about parking directly in front of the glass doors. Instead she hopped out and went to investigate. She knocked on the doors, waiting a moment as he came up beside her. Eventually they decided it was empty and went inside. “This is not nothing.”
Miranda walked around in awe as she looked at the walls lined with guitars and a floor filled with pianos of different sorts. There was a layer of dust on everything but she didn't care. She reminded herself to be on alert, just in case, but her eyes stayed on the merchandise for the most part.
“D’ya play?” Daryl asked, glancing around the music store. She wasn’t sure if he was interested or just looking for exits.
“I play a little guitar but mostly piano.” Miranda said, her fingers running along the ivorys slowly. She glanced around, wondering if he’d let her take any of it. Sure she couldn’t exactly lift a full sized piano into the back of the truck but maybe a guitar and some books to refresh her memory.
Daryl followed her around silently, letting her have her moment. She walked around like a kid in a toy store, having to touch every intrustrument. Even the one in the locked case signed by someone she didn’t recognize. Eventually they made it towards the back of the store and found some soundproofed rooms, used for practice. They used to rent out rooms like this for band rehearsals. She grinned and headed into one that held a piano, Daryl at her feet.
Once the door was closed, she wasted no time in playing a song she knew off the top of her head. She closed her eyes for a moment as she played, wanting to cry the moment was so rewarding. She couldn’t remember the last time she played or sang anything. Daryl sat beside her quietly, listening to her play. She played a couple more old classical songs by composers he’d probably never even heard of. She couldn’t even remember their names. Eventually she played something she could sing along to, once she was comfortable enough.
Miranda sighed as she finished the song and let her fingers drop off the keys. They were both quiet for a while before she spoke again.
“I’ve been playing since I was six. For a long time it was the only thing that made me happy.” She told him, not expecting a response. “I used to get together with this group and sing at shows. Just bars and shit, nothing big. Didn’t make a lot of money and I had to bartend in between, but it made me happy.” She turned to look at him with a soft smile. “Thanks for stopping.”
Daryl gave her a nod, his eyes not leaving hers. It wasn’t normal for him to hold eye contact for so long but for some reason he couldn’t look away. Before either of them realized what was happening, they were leaning in. Their lips touched hesitantly, both afraid of rejection. But after a moment the kiss grew deeper, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. She scooted closer, her arms going around his shoulders to tug him in more. He allowed it for a minute before pulling back, ducking his head.
“We should..we should get back.” He said, chewing on his thumb nail. Miranda frowned but agreed, standing up to leave. She didn’t make it to the door though. After he stood up, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. He kissed her deeply, his hands in her hair as he backed her up against the wall. Miranda whimpered against his lips, her fists gripping his sleeveless shirt.
Daryl pulled back after a moment, pressing his forehead against hers, and his hands dropped to her hips. Miranda looked up at him curiously, noticing he was hesitant.
“We can take it slow.” Miranda offered, not wanting to lose her chance with him. Daryl chewed his lip before nodding. She kissed him again, softer this time, and took his hand. “Let’s get back. It’s getting late.” She said and he let her drag him out of there by the hand.
They were practically inseparable after that. They took things slow, like she promised, until he eventually brought her back to the music store and they had sex for the first time. She ended up moving into his bunk shortly after that.
Of course, as soon as she was finally happy again, shit hit the fan. The sickness hit the prison and even she herself ended up dangerously ill. She was lucky they found medicine to fight the strange infection but before she was even fully back to her old self, the prison was attacked and they were on the move again.
(updated my taglist. If you want on/off let me know)
@alyisdead @ask-kakashihatake @badluckgirl @band–psycho@beautyqueenforbes@blackleatherjacketz @bubbajeffrey@collette04@daisysouthmoore @drraegon @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash@genevievedarcygranger@hanaissupergirl @i-am-negan-trash @imstonecoldnegan @its-moonblr @jessiellong1987@judymosali @kalifornia-born @kayodex19@letsby @lilantisocialextrovert@lolalexturnerlol @londoncapsule @lostdarksoul6 @mely010@mypopurribitch @ne-gans @negansdirtygirl22 @negans-wife @negan-the-cat @negans-network @prettyepiic @rose8801@sarcasticrose18@scarletthart96 @sev3nruby @star017@suddenlycrushed@teamnegansaviors @toxic-ink@warriorqueen1991 @witchofravenclaw
#daryl dixon#daryl x miranda#daryl x oc#daryl dixon x oc#twd#team family#twd fanfic#daryl dixon fanfic
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Reveling in Richonne
#106: The Bond (8x09)
Michonne is pretty much the definition of “every woman” in that she is so many wonderful things in one. She has the ability to be a courageous warrior, compassionate friend, loyal wife, and wise leader. It’s all in her, y’all. 😊
And what I love is that throughout her relationship with Carl and Judith we got to see another layer to Michonne; the protective mom.
And this episode is no exception, cuz Michonne is with Carl after the explosion goes off and then she turns around and tries to take some matters into her own hands.
She gets up and briskly walks over to Dwight and demands for him to “Make it stop.” And then she throws him against the wall. Sis ain’t come to play with nobody. 👏🏽💯
It’s impressive to see Michonne take action despite everything, because she knows the last thing Carl needs right now is to be dealing with their community being blown up.
It’s also sort of great to see Michonne get to have this assertive moment because, while Dwight has done his part to show he’s changed by now, he is still the one who captured her, Rosita, Daryl and Glenn in 6x15, so she deserves to throw him around a bit lol.
She repeats for Dwight to “Make them stop” and then Dwight looks at her with what does seem like genuine remorse and says, “I can’t.”
Michonne, with more desperation but also determination in her voice, says, “You can. You’re one of them. They’ll listen to you.” And then in more of a plea she says “Please” twice.
And the second “please” really gets me because that’s when you really hear how vulnerable she is. 😥
We’ve seen the pain and emotional state she’s in since Carl’s bite reveal but this moment with Dwight is when it really hits home just how much she’s hurting and scared to have to lose yet another son.
So then Rosita steps in knowing that Michonne shouldn’t have to deal with this rn, which imo is the most likable thing Rosita’s done on the show.
She says they should go to Hilltop and then this becomes a whole conversation with Daryl, Tara, Rosita, and Dwight. And Michonne is still in the huddle but you can tell she’s not truly in the huddle, as it’s clear the only thing she truly can focus on right now is Carl.
They end up deciding to wait and then Michonne walks back over to Carl, where she’s meant to be.
And now we get into the heartfelt exchanges of the episode. 😭 Like from here on out this episode puts the foot on the gas in terms of emotional interactions.
Michonne is back with Carl and lovingly tending to him as he looks up at her. Again, I’m glad Carl has Michonne as this woman who can be that maternal comfort.
He tells her “You left. You were supposed to be resting.” and then Michonne sweetly says “I’m not tired.”
I adore this. ☺️ It’s sweet seeing Carl concerned about her and I think it’s also precious that she wants to be reassuring to Carl that she’s okay despite the fact that she probably is extremely exhausted, especially considering she just recently had to fight off that grown man Savior who grabbed her earlier.
So then Carl smiles and says, “Yeah, you look great” and it’s cute that he wants to be lighthearted with her, knowing how much she’s hurting.
This whole situation is so heavy so I appreciate that their exchange serves as a reminder of the more playful side of their bond. Cuz we’ve seen throughout the years how Carl and Michonne were always so good at making each other smile, and I’m glad we get to see that in their final episode together.
Carl then takes this opportunity to communicate to Michonne his outlook on this whole war and their current circumstances by saying, “It’s gotta stop, Michonne. It’s not supposed to be like this. I know it can be better.”
(Y’all I’m trying to tell TWD these exact words lol.)
It’s sweet that Carl really wants both Rick and Michonne to understand his hope for peace, cuz he wants both Rick and Michonne to be at peace once he’s gone.
And then the next part is another one of my favorite moments of the episode. Because Michonne hears Carl out and then we see Rick look over to her and then place his hand on her arm to offer comfort and y’all I am so here for this.😊
Up until this point R&M’s focus has been on Carl so I love that we get a brief moment of seeing Rick connecting with Michonne and wanting to be there for her too. She always has his attention.
And it’s just a sweet visual to see the three of them together in this moment because they are 100% family. Like it’s crystal clear that she is in their immediate family and that not only is she meant to be here with them but you can also sense how grateful Rick and Carl are to have her here with them as well.
It takes me back to season 4 when the three of them really officially became family and now here we’re seeing how they’ve only gotten closer since.
So then Daryl and some guys head up to check out the aftermath of the Saviors attack and Daryl hands Judith to Rick while trying to offer Daryl’s form of comfort in patting Rick’s shoulder.
It’s sweet seeing Rick take Judith, as sad as it is knowing that she’ll be his only living kid by the end of the episode. 😭
There’s then another clip of red-eyed Rick and then another dream sequence, this time including Eugene, which at the time I was like...
And then it again cuts to Rick and Michonne shoveling which hurts even more having now seen some of how Carl spent his final moments with them.
So next, Rick is sitting with Judith and Carl in the tunnel and then Michonne returns over to them after getting the update of what the group’s next move will be.
I really appreciate that Michonne is able to be Rick’s partner in this and can be the one to get info and relay it to him so that he doesn’t have to leave Carl’s side.
Rick sees her and stands up and I just realized that Michonne is the only person that Rick was really able to talk to apart from Carl and briefly Siddiq in this episode. And it makes sense cuz for him, the only people he has on his mind right now are his kids and his wife.
So Michonne lets him know the Saviors are gone and they can get everyone to Hilltop.
She says, “We can get Carl there.” And Rick responds saying, “Carl? No.” Michonne suggests that Daryl can get one of the cars and then the line that punches my heart every time is Rick then saying, “Carl won’t make it.” 😥😥😥
It’s painful to see this dad have to come to terms with the fact that his son doesn’t have much time left and how it’s hard for him to even utter that sentence. 😭
Rick says, “He can’t leave here, I have to stay with him.” We hear Michonne say Rick’s name and then Rick says “He can’t. I have to stay” As tragic as it is, he’s right.
But what I love is that as high as emotions are for the both of them, there’s still something so loving and patient in the way R&M speak to each other.
So Michonne looks at this man she loves and she understands where he’s coming from as a parent, so she reassuringly says, “We’ll both stay.” Which I love of course, because Sis is staying by his and Carl’s side no matter what.
There’s a quiet moment between them and then Rick says, “Would you take Judith? She needs to be there. If she…” and then we see Rick more fully break down.
You can tell the idea of losing both kids is just too much for him to even think about. So he’s finally allowing himself to cry and I like that he knows he can be this vulnerable and emotional with Michonne. It’s yet another testament to the depth of their relationship.
Now y’all, at first I was like “Rick, you have to know there is no way on this earth that Michonne could just leave without you or without Car”l. But then I realized the reason he asked is because Michonne is who he trusts most, with everything in life but especially with something as important as Judith.
So he asks because at his most vulnerable he wants Judith in the best hands, and also he wants both his girls to go and make it somewhere safe.
Daryl luckily steps in and says he’ll take her and he’s got this which is nice to see Daryl taking this initiative as a close friend of the two, and allowing Rick and Michonne to stay together. Cuz fr, if Rick and Michonne do nothing else, they need to stick together, especially at this time.
I’m glad that in this moment the two people closest to Rick, apart from his kids, make it so clear to him that they are going to do everything they can to be there for him.
Michonne and Daryl didn’t know Rick before the apocalypse, but it’s great to see how they’ve spent enough time with him and built a strong enough bond with him that they could be by his side and supporting him during the literal worse moment of his life, as he loses his only son.
(Side note: I still think at some point in 8B Daryl needed to more fully acknowledge his contribution to the plan going wrong tho, but that’s another conversation lol)
So then realizing this is it, and Judith will be heading out soon Carl says “Let me say goodbye” and y’all when I heard that I was legit like...
Before it even happened I knew this next moment with Carl saying goodbye to Judith was going to be super emotional. And it absolutely was. 😭 So this next post might just be 50% break down and then 50% breakdown lol. But the moment is so beyond heartwarming too so we gotta go there.
As far as the moments in this post go tho, I’m glad that these exchanges illustrated the bonds built between characters.
And I especially appreciate that the layers of playfulness and protectiveness between Carl and Michonne were on display, cuz those two have always had one of the most genuine bonds in TV.👌🏽
#richonne#richonne fandom#richonne family#michonne#rick grimes#carl grimes#grimes 2.0#thewalkingdead#twd#not my gifs#s8#8.09
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3x21 thoughts
Finally came to terms about the past two episodes of superstore, read a bunch of opinions from the fandom and I wanted to weigh in with some of my thoughts. I tried my best to split it into each of their perspective in order for me to understand where they were coming from. I’m glad most of you agree that the fight was needed and as messy as it is, I still think it wasn’t enough? They still left a lot unsaid, understandably so since they were very driven with pent up emotion and it wasn’t really the time for rational thought. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they argue again. Btw, watch me try to be unbiased and fail big time because I feel like there are some things missed out on Amy’s perspective. So, please feel free to add if I was unfair to either one of them or didn’t address some issues. This is an attempt to paint a full picture on this, so I can stop feeling so incredibly torn between them, it’s torturing.
First stop, the kiss.
That was a really messed up decision on Amy's part because she knows he's in a relationship and to kiss him because she "wanted to” is selfish in every way. The reason behind why she wanted to do it is sad but obvious. She felt like she was losing control, which are usually her lowest moment where she ends up doing dumb things in effort to keep it together and it has constantly ended up backfiring. (See literally every time she has tried to help anyone & truthfully am getting annoyed that it’s always her character who screws up and screws up even more trying to fix it but that’s a rant for another time.) She gave zero thought to how the kiss complicated his feelings and then Kelly’s too. It was partly fuelled by the fact she was feeling vulnerable and desperate to hold on to things she wanted, thanks to the unwanted pregnancy which reminded her of how much she lost and missed out on by having a baby at 19. It was a repeat of what she had gone through and she saw how her life was going to get derailed and is going to change again. Another part of it and equally as important, in my opinion, was that she saw how important he had become to her, even though he’s always been there, she’s never paid attention to how big of a role he played by always being the one who had her back and never judged. Being pregnant made her look at her current situation and see the full picture. That realisation and her recent feelings for him added up and in a way, she convinced herself that kissing him is okay. She took advantage of the fact he always took whatever she threw his way without lashing back or complaining, he was the one to tolerate it and make their friendship still work.
It was obvious how much he himself wanted it and have waited for it. It was the worst timing, but it showed how his feelings never faded one bit. The way he reacted to the kiss after finding out she’s pregnant was so heart breaking. He had no idea what to do and obviously couldn’t understand her selfish reasoning. It must have felt like she was just using him and wanted to kiss him because of her difficult position and it had nothing to do with her feelings since she had never really shown her romantic feelings towards him. It was undoubtedly unfair to him and him walking away was completely justified. There was just no way for him to comprehend what she had done, that she kissed him on purpose, not out of panic or out of the heat of the moment, but on purpose, knowing that she’s pregnant and that he’s taken.
I do kind of wish he would have let it out in the warehouse because would have been far less messy that way instead of everything else that went down after and it looked like she was ready to hear and take whatever he had to say.
Pushing Jonah to talk about it and giving him absolutely no room to breathe just added onto Amy’s pile of bad decisions. He had kissed another woman while in a relationship and that must have messed with his head. He had to deal with lying to Kelly, kicked into denial mode and ended up taking drastic steps in their relationship. In a way also trying to proof to himself that he could make it work with Kelly, and that he had stronger feelings for her. On top of that, he had to deal with his resurfacing feelings for Amy which in my opinion he thought had faded. He had wanted that for so long and probably gave up hope, so to have her kiss him like that was hugely disappointing and hurtful. When Jonah gave her 2 minutes to speak, he was actually willing to hear her out, and his attitude was such a good addition because for once he was the once dictating how things were gonna go and taking a stand for himself without compensating to her. When he let her talk, she finally admitted to having feelings for him, but I don’t think she made it clear on how serious she is about those feelings. Personally, I think that to him it was still a “crush” or just minor feelings. However, feelings or not, it clearly did not justify what she did and further proved that what she did was purely selfish.
Amy knew she screwed up, she saw the way he was upset and knew she had to do something to fix it. The way he avoided the conversation made it evident that it was something they had to talk about, so she was persistent, oblivious to how the kiss brought up his long-buried feelings for her and that he was not ready to talk about it, because she didn’t want to lose their friendship.
The last time when he brought up the tornado kiss, the both of them simultaneously agreed not to talk about it, Jonah most probably doing that in consideration of her situation at that moment. But eventually, they did confront how awkward things were and worked past it. Even though it was just them avoiding the whole thing, they still went back to being friends and maybe somewhere in Amy’s head, she thought they could work past it this time around too. They needed to confront things, so she pushed, admittedly inconsiderate. But she did it because he was that important to her. Even with all the things she had to deal with that day, and with Adam and Alex around, her main focus was still Jonah.
At the end of the day, I’m assuming Jonah saw that Amy wasn’t around and went to find her, maybe feeling guilty over the whole day after having finally had some time to breath and think. He took a step and even apologised, finally ready to try and resolve their issue but she shut him down.
She gave no thought to the fact that he was having a rough day too thanks to her foolish decision of kissing him. And when he said okay, she still pounded on him because he sounded upset when he had every right to be. In a situation that she brought on herself, he still had to be the understanding one.
“It’s what you want, when you want it.”
I don’t know what other contexts there are involving them, so I’m assuming it’s mainly about the fact she kissed him when she wanted to and now she only wants to talk when it’s convenient for her. And it’s true, plus, she does this thing where puts her opinions on top of everyone else, even in situations where she isn’t the main person. She does it thinking that she knows best, ignoring the person who the situation is about.
Anyways, the degree of complications that the kiss has provoked still hasn’t hit her and she assumes that Jonah is overreacting. Because right now, she has bigger problems to worry about other than a kiss and to her, that seemed to be the main problem in his life. Totally unfair to him and he was right to call her out on it. She had a horrible day and still had to face her pregnancy, the nightmare wasn’t over so to be honest it’s a miracle she’s still keeping it together. But it gave her no right to compare their problems, especially when she had no idea what problems he could be having in his life.
He had always gone the extra mile and cared about her, noticed whenever she was upset and was ready to lend a helping hand. Amy, on the other hand, never probed into his life. I feel like both of them are at fault here, Amy a little more for not being aware enough to care for him the same way he does with her. He was always cheerful and bright, never really showing when he’s down. He doesn’t go to her with his problems, assuming that she has stuff of her own to deal with and that she probably doesn’t want to hear it; Amy being so guarded about herself, she probably isn’t good at reading him and if she does see that he’s upset, she doesn’t know how to approach the subject with him. Her affection always comes off as teasing or sarcasm and rarely heartfelt declaration because she’s just that awkward about being vulnerable. She never lets it show that she cares about him even though she does; note that she does make an effort to apologise whenever they tease him in the store & in 2x11, one of the few times he spoke about his past, she was there to help him, even with the time when he was so disturbed that Glenn didn’t particularly like him when dating Kristen, she did offer a little advice. Obviously, it’s minimal, not nearly as much as Jonah does and could use a lot of improvement. One thing I really need her (and everyone in the store) to change though, is how they always shut down his opinions and never listens. Y’all are rude and insensitive af when he’s literally just trying to help.
That being said, still a douche move for her to compare problems and dismiss his.
“Are you really that pissed off that I kissed you?”
Amy thinking that that’s the reason he’s pissed was astounding considering how much history they have. I don’t think she expected it to invoke such huge complications because she didn’t realise the degree of his feelings, that it goes back so far and how hard it must have been to keep it under wraps. To a certain degree, I think she thought it was gonna be a kiss they can just ignore like they did before. She would have to go back and face her pregnancy making a relationship with him impossible so initially she probably figured that the consequences were just gonna be her and her feelings. Apart from him always being concerned for her, she doesn’t know/never noticed that his caring attitude towards her was more than platonic or “crush”. He never let his feelings slide past their boundary, possibly in fear of losing their friendship. While we may have thought it was so obvious, she never really saw the way he looks at her. He’s dated multiple people since they’ve known each other, so to her, it couldn’t have been more than a simple crush.
“I’m pissed off that I waited around for you for two years and you waited until I was in a relationship and you were pregnant to kiss me.” “Who asked you to wait around?”
At first, I thought he was blaming it on her but really it was a comparison on what he did vs what she did. That he stood by and waited, not making a single move while she chose the worst time to make a move. He had so many triggers to make a move, but he never did out of respect for her marriage and subsequently her divorce. Even when he was with Kelly and Amy’s news with Tate and Alex came up, he was so obviously so bothered by it but he never said/did anything. Partly because he was already with Kelly and it would have been out of line to do anything considering how he was committed to another person. Through all of that he never made a move on her because it would have been selfish put what he wanted first, his wants that would have ended up causing damage to either Amy’s marriage, Amy or Kelly. So, Amy being that selfish made absolutely no sense to him.
I wish that Amy took what he said as a comparison because her response would have meant that she hoped he made a move on her but clearly that’s not the case. She obviously took it as him blaming her and thought it was unfair hence throwing it back at him with “Who asked you to wait?”, not realising the depth of his feelings, that he waited because he wanted her that much. I know what I said about him respecting her space after the divorce, but he could have made his feelings clear then. Yes, maybe if he did, she would have reacted badly/strangely to it, but at least it would be out there.
She realised her feelings for him only after he started dating Kelly, so there really wasn’t a suitable time to make a move between getting a divorce and him getting into a relationship with Kelly. Unfortunately, her being pregnant ended up pushing her to do it out of fear of change. She had a time constraint, something that he didn’t have. Not his fault but it is worth pointing out that their circumstances were different.
“I don’t even know what you’re still doing here, Jonah. You can leave whenever you want.” “So could you, but we all know that’s never gonna happen.” “Go to hell, Jonah.”
It was a low-blow by both of them in all honesty. They were vulnerable and so they got defensive, doing the typical things people do in a fight; push them away or hurt them. She said he could leave, pushing him away as though she doesn’t need or want him there. (But this is up for interpretation because I’ve seen some interpret this as the fact that he isn’t stuck at Cloud9 the way she is and it’s a valid point.) He said that in response, knowing it would hurt her because it was the truth. Highkey understandable because hearing her say that she didn’t ask him to wait and that he can leave must have been so hard to hear. It made it seem like he had little to no importance in her life. Amy’s final line to him, regardless of the fact he was actually right, was because that was the last thing she would have expected him to say. She knew that he knew it would hit her right on the mark as it was something she had shared with him in the past, so for him to pull that out was huge and immensely painful, especially with everything that’s happening in her life.
Wish I could do a TL;DR version but I wouldn’t have written such a long rant if I could
More opinions no one asked for:
I truly think the pregnancy is a re-do moment for her. Her job at Cloud9 started off with a pregnancy and the series started off with her realising how stagnant her life is. This pregnancy, unwanted and untimely like the first time around, is the exact thing that would force her to make big decisions. The pregnancy scare in season 2 drove her to admit to Adam that she wasn’t happy, and the tornado made them realise that they shouldn’t stay together. She’s always been a person who’s scared of change and always needed something big to push her into confronting her true feelings. I don’t know where they’re taking this plot and I’m scared but also quite intrigued.
Jonah & Kelly; You guys knew from the start that they were gonna break up and sure, it was a horrible way to break up, but I appreciate that moment where Jonah knew he couldn’t go on. After everything he did and the way he tried to make it work with her, it just wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t intentionally leading her on. He genuinely wanted to make it work, because she deserved that, but he attempted and failed. He stopped trying to trick himself into forcing the relationship and was finally honest with himself about his feelings. A huge part had to do with the kiss and how he had to come to terms with the fact his feelings are still stubbornly there.
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