#conscious of the king
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People make fun of snw for having tarsus iv survivor on Jim’s Starfleet bio but honestly all of this was public information in conscience of the king. There are two scenes dedicated to Jim and Spock separately finding out Kevin Riley was one of the other survivors. It’s public information but the public doesn’t care.
Yes it’s fun for fanfiction to have the tarsus 9’s names redacted from the survivors lists and to have Jim go out of his way to keep that shit private but the reality is that the massacre is regarded by the galaxy at large as a horrible thing that happened, but that it was one of many horrible things and the case is closed.
Bones trying to brush Spock off when Spock is explaining everything he’s learned, and Bones’ response to Spock bringing up Kodos had his own theories of eugenics, are the most telling here.
“Unfortunately he wasn’t the first.”
The general public know the basic details of what happened, and the person who orchestrated the crimes seemingly died. And despite no positive ID on the body, Starfleet stopped looking into it. Everyone wanted it to go away. They choose not to bring it up. I’d argue that’s part of the point. All of this is public data but almost everyone involved wanted it to die. Even some of the victims. (Jim). But the thing about an untreated wound is that it can fester, and get worse until it’s impossible to ignore. And now you’re in a situation where 7 out of 9 survivors of a massacre are dead, all around the same time a company of actors performed in the area they lived.
Conscience of the King stands as a greater lesson on why willfully ignoring uncomfortable history will lead to people not learning from their parents’/ancestors’ mistakes and/or worse, make the same mistakes/commit the same crimes.
#star trek#star trek tos#james t kirk#star trek analysis#conscious of the king#tarsus iv#star trek meta#conscience of the king#strange new worlds#snw
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Knowing that one of the SNW writers wanted to cover the Tarsus events (but the timing doesnt line up) gives me hope that maybe he might just find a way that makes sense.
#the historical importance of this ep#a mass murderer hiding amongst the public was so relevant to the 60’s#they were fiding nazis all over the world#and we didnt really get specifics of what happened#but to be fair thats not what the ep was about#but i want more from this#star trek#star trek tos#star trek snw#strange new worlds#star trek strange new worlds#james kirk#james t kirk#jim kirk#conscious of the king#tarsus iv#tarsus
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Danielle and Danyal's meeting... very, very quickly goes very sour from, basically, the moment Danny steps into his room and finds Ellie sitting on his bed (strike one) and reading the comic books Tucker introduced him to (strike two). By the time she's looked up to address him, Danny has the door locked, and a hand hovering near the knife hidden under his shirt.
She gets her third strike when Danny, in a voice that could make the mountains tremble, demands to know how she got into his room, and she lies (with uncertainty of her decision growing in her chest) that Jazz let her in. Danny's hand shifts closer to his weapon, and he turns towards her fully, and says that Jazz would never let someone he didn’t know into his room, and who was she.
(Vlad Masters had underprepared Danielle for her meeting with Danny -- not out of any completely direct malicious intent, but he failed to mention just how... 'touchy' Daniel could be -- he failed to mention the scars littering up his arms, unhidden by the hoodie tee he meets Ellie in. He failed to mention that along with those scars, that Danny was visibly lean, capable of doing very real damage without the use of his powers.)
(He tells Ellie that he’s adopted, and that he is observant and clever, but ungrateful and has a bad attitude.)
Her final strike occurs when Ellie, trying to keep her facade of cheeriness, tells him that she’s his third cousin once removed. Immediately, Danny has his dagger pulled out, and Ellie finds herself with the cold metal of a blade pressing against her throat.
Danyal 'A.G' Fenton hasn’t killed since he arrived in Amity Park. At first it was because mother told him to keep a low profile, and killing would do the opposite of that. But, he's been slowly learning from his sister and friends over the years the value of human life. So it's become a combination of keeping his head down, and also that life has value to it.
But. That doesn’t mean he can’t kill, nor is he opposed to doing it if the situation calls for it. It just means that he doesn't do it. And ‘Danielle’ is an unknown in his room, claiming to be family to him, and appearing uncannily similar to him and his family. Either someone hired her and she was trying to pass herself off as a relative to him because that someone realized Danny was the biggest threat, or, his false death has been compromised, his mother was unable to tell him, and the league was aware he was alive.
No matter how he looks at it, this Danielle was a threat to him, his sister, his friends, to Damian, and to the Drs. Fenton. Danyal Fenton doesn't kill, but he has no problems doing so.
(Ellie, pinned under Danny’s knee and the blade to her neck, is too terrified to think of phasing out of his hold. Not that it would help, he would just chase after her.)
“You have broken into my home, dared to lie to my face, and when I demanded to know the truth, you dared lie to me again." Danny's scowl could cower even Skulker, his glacier blue eyes burning. "Your continual breath has been a favor from me, that I have graciously allowed, from the moment you entered my room, dahkil."
"So I will ask one more time," he hisses, "who. are. you."
Danielle, only a few months old, unprepared for the ice storm that is "Daniel" Fenton, and his clone in only flesh and blood, and not memories, immediately breaks. And tells him that she was his clone, that Vlad sent her to come capture him, and to please not kill her.
Danny's face twists with anger, Ellie thinks he's going to kill her anyways. Instead, he withdraws his knife and gets off her, stringing out curses in Arabic as he sheathes his weapon back into its hiding place faster than Ellie can blink.
He switches to English as she is collecting her bearings (and contemplating fleeing), and Danny paces the room like a tiger in a cage. "--of course that wretched, arrogant, peacocking little ingrate would do something so infuriating. I should have driven my sword into the shrivel of his heart when I had the chance--"
Ellie, for a moment, thinks of leaving while he is distracted. And starts to slowly creep away. But Danny notices instantly, and whirls on her. His too-bright eyes bore into her head: "Where do you think you're going."
"...I'm leaving."
And Danny scoffs at her, "Why? So you can fly back to Masters and tell him that you failed to capture me, and that I know that he cloned me?" He says, and Ellie remains silent -- that's exactly what she was going to do. "He will destroy you within seconds."
Of course, Ellie rears back in offense, and she finds the footing to glare at him. "He would not! He's my dad, he loves me!"
Danny gets in her face, glowering back with an equal intensity. "He does not." He snaps, "Vlad Masters has not a soul in his body nor a heart in his chest. He would sooner cut off the hand that helps him stand, than to take it along with him."
"If you're really made of my blood, then I will teach you only this: we bow not our heads nor our hearts to anyone." Danny's too-blue eyes narrow, and his voice dips into a hiss, "Especially not to a conniving snake like Masters. Your heart: cut it off, or cut it out. He will sooner leave you to bleed."
Then, he unlocks the door and drags her out before she has much time to act. And as he drags her down the hall he shoots Sam and Tucker a text, and they meet up at Nasty Burger. Ellie is a spitfire, but Danny has her too intimidated to leave.
"This is Danielle," he tells them bluntly as he corners her into the booth, "she's my clone. Masters created her."
Ellie is with them for a week, and somehow throughout that time, Danny manages to actually get her to like him throughout that time. He's callous, blunt, and full of sharp edges that you can cut yourself on. But when he's not spitting venom, he's fretting.
When he drags her back to the house after being with Sam and Tucker, he pulls her to Jazz's room and opens the door to tell her the same thing. "This is Danielle." He says upon abruptly opening the door, interrupting Jazz's studying as he pulls Ellie inside. "She is my clone, Masters created her. She needs clothes."
Then he turns and leaves, shutting the door behind him. Ellie, in that moment, thinks that now's her chance to flee. But Jazz then squeals, and she is trapped in new arms, shaken around by Jazz Fenton, excited for a sister.
(Ellie finds herself complaining to Jazz that night, shoved into old pajamas. She's in utter disbelief that Jazz could care about a jerk like Danny.)
("He's rough around the edges, but Danny does care." Jazz tells her, combing through her hair with her fingers. "We've been working on it ever since he joined the family, but Danny warms up slowly. He's usually less stoney; I think your arrival spooked him.")
("Spooked him?" Ellie repeats, she doesn't believe it at all. "He has a funny way of showing it, he threatened to kill me!" And she turns around just in time to see Jazz's press her lips into a line.)
("He's... very protective. He'll deny if you ask him, but he worries a lot." Jazz's fingers find her hair again. "What I do know for certain though, is that he wouldn't have kept you here if he wasn't worried about you at least a little bit.")
(Ellie doubts it.)
But Ellie is indeed there for a week, and the day after her initially rocky introduction with Danny, he is a little bit kinder to her. Still kinda a bitch, but he's less harsh to her, if... almost uncomfortable around her. Flighty, kinda.
Whenever she gets mouthy at him though, he looks oddly smug about it and, infuriatingly enough, praises her attitude. He is very, very annoying. And still kinda terrifying. But hearing him shout insults via puns at someone during a ghost fight that happens that week lessens the intimidating factor,,, a little bit.
Things go about,,,, relatively,,,, similar to canon. In the sense that it ends with Ellie defecting from Vlad because she finds out that Danny was right and that Vlad didn't actually care about her. (And that Jazz had been right too; Danny, in his weird, mean way, had been worried about her as well)
Danny looks out of his depth as she talks about how he was right, and he cuts her off with a vaguely uncomfortable clearing of his throat. And gives her the most awkward, but genuine apology he can muster.
"I should've used more tact when telling you about Masters, and I... apologize for threatening you when we met. I was..." he makes a face like he's sucked on a particularly sour lemon, "worried. First about my family, and then later about you."
(Ellie will be damned: Jazz was right)
Before Ellie leaves, Danny puts a hand on her shoulder and tells her: "I wasn't kidding about what I said to you when we first met: you are of my blood, and as such, you do not bow your head nor your heart to anyone."
Ellie looks at him, thinks about the last week, and smiles like she's caught him in a trap. "What about Sam and Tucker then? And Jazz?"
Danny smiles, it's awkward and tilted, like his face isn't used to the gesture. "We bow not our hearts, but that doesn't mean we can't share."
#danny speaks in formal english when he's pissed. he goes full on 'i shall eat his heart in the marketplace' levels of formal#not quite a ficlet not quite a post talking about the idea but a secret third option: its both of these at the same time#dp x dc#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#dc x dp crossover#dc x dp au#dpxdc au#dcdp#dpdc au#dp dc crossover#older brother danny#danny is an asshole with a heart of gold#the writing feels all over the place but since its not a fic i dont feel that self conscious about it lol. very much spitballing here#morally gray danny fenton#poc danny fenton#look ellie MIGHt - and thats a big if - have gotten away with the cousin lie if it weren't for the fact that she's danny's clone#danny who is not white nor remotely white-passing in this au. she might have gotten away if he had been and she claimed she was#from jack's side of the family. but alas. danny is adopted. the fentons are whiter than sunscreen. and danny is not.#dani and danny's meeting in danyal al ghul aus have the potenial of being IMMEDIATE dumpster fires which is very funny to me#on the basis of if danny knows he's adopted or not and if dani claims to be related directly to him or to jack.#dani: im your third cousin once removed :)#danny. is adopted: i kNOW YOU LYING. CUZ YO LIPS ARE MOVING#i got fanart for this au on haunting heroes discord and it kickstarted my thoughts about danyal again. they gave him the BATWING EYEBROWS#ellie has the batwing eyebrows too that was the mind killer thats what fucked her over /j. those are UNIQUELY BRUCE WAYNE BROWS FOLKS#fuck i wish tumblr told us on laptop when we run out of tags because i just lost like 4 of them. good thing i got screenies those were FUNN
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Sorry for forcing yall to look at a very indulgent cryptid dragon but anyway um. its an attempt!! I'm so iffy on the colors but urgg. I wanted it to be an approximate mix of Grian's various "lives". I wanna draw dragons!!! So bad!! I love dragons!!!!!!! So much!!!!
Some other lifer dragon concepts/sketches below cut
If people still wanna see me dragonify lifers then sure!! These are just quick ideas I wanted to get on paper
#thank you for your support on that one post I made that was just like “I wanna draw lifer dragons” and yall were like yass do it king#I love you#grian#grian fanart#idk what else to say#I always feel so bad about drawing human characters as dragons but its something Ive loved to do since I was a wee child#because I hate humans and I fuckin love dragons baby!!#this community is so nice and accepting of so many various AUs and designs etc but Im just a really self conscious person#tubby art
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who's pulling the strings of the puppet king?
#lies of p#lies of p romeo#king of puppets#lies of p geppetto#fanart#digital art#hi hello do you think romeo was fully conscious when geppetto enacted law zero (?through him?).#i think about these two a lot... i don't tend to jump straight to the 'deal with the devil' part because there's something about--#--two people with nothing in common but the empty space between them. world's worst grief bonding situation!!!#and there's something a lot more compelling about that to me. and that's not even mentioning the grand covenant in the room--#merits its own post or something else. (because i think about it more than anything ever.)#tl;dr i would kill carlo myself if i got to witness them having the most painfully unpleasant conversation ever had by two people.#anyway i should comment on art process too huh.#the gist of it is if no one got me i know red and black got me.#it's my Old Reliable. i've been nearly gnawing my hands off from. not managing to get anything done in a way i liked so i went back.#i feel better now.... :-)#anyway. worst in-laws ever <3
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One of my fave headcanons for Amphibia's harmful social structure is the idea of possessing a tail being overly pushed for a superiority complex in the caste system. And newts, aside from axolotls, as the only ones to evolve to have one, resultantly categorise it as the "superior evolution" to put frogs and toads beneath them
There's literally an entire concept of Newtopia having a fake-tails replacement shop that further feed the idea of a newt losing their tail, being stereotyped as disreputing and mocked upon in the society they set up (to adresss the fact pollywogs of frogs and toads do lose their tails in reaching adulthood), leaving them fetching for a fake one to cover up their "shame" through the period it takes to fully regenerate
And the stake of which, "tailless" could even be a used potential slur against targeted amphibians
#I also had this scandalous idea of having a bigger tail being more socially appreciated. I mean have you seen King Andrias' thicc back alley#newts get sensitive and conscious about tail size#looking at tritonio the newtopia outcast™ that has a small tail#heck there could be shady “make your tail bigger with this secret trick. because bigger is better!!” products even#amphibia#text post#newtopia
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i know this isnt exsctly the best question ive ever asked but uh. does anyone else have trouble calling people from their media characters. like for example feferi peixes. i personally knew her so to me it doesnt make sense to call her a fictional character but idk why this exactly happens
#fictionkin#eridankin#god i really am just the king of asking stupid questions im afraid wont be well received arent i#all i know is that this is related to me having to make a conscious effort to refer to my kin as a separate being from me but idk#sorry if this offends anyone btw. idk. kinda afraid rn and empathy/etc is kicking my ass like no other#-eridan#eridan yaps#ps also our caliborn refused to call andrew hussie that and insists on calling him “The Author” soooo theres that too
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Gently kisses you like you’re my greatest treasure, my most precious partner
bonus for top right doodle:
#late Valentine’s Day thing maybe?!#idk I got a little withered away from metadede because I started feeling self conscious about being too ‘cringe’#cringe is maybe not the right word I just felt a bit discouraged or something. like I was being annoying? a self-made insecurity.#silly right?? it was just a phase tho. so here is some gently crafted fluff that soothed my soul <3#gonna keep drawing what makes me happy!#metadede#king dedede#meta knight#art#kirby series
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the choke hold they have on me is surreal.
funny enough I wanted to try an easier style with the lineart but then i got possessed and this happened during the coloring processes. so much for easier, huh. <-took like 4 hours.
#my art#shadowpeach#lmk shadowpeach#fanart#lego monkie kid#monkey king#six eared macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk macaque#lmk sun wukong#lmk wukong#lmk monkey king#based on my friends fic that is circling my head 24/7#ask for it so we cant peer pressure them to post about the au#cw nudity#feel like it is needed even when fur covers everything and is not like suggestive cuz i feel self conscious#anyways#off to the deep end i go
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In bbc merlin you hear all the time about the Old Religion - which implies existence of the New Religion. Only recently i worked out what it's ought to be.
It's Christianity.
#it's bloody christianity#and i'm stupid#how could i not have realized earlier?#christianity and not even a chapel#that's scandalous tbh#you don't even have to comment on it#just put it there#but yeah#king arthur and the knights of the round table were looking for the holy grail#and... i knew it at some level#some but not conscious#hell#which reminds me#how long i've spent trying to come up with things people can swear onto when concepts of heaven hell and (big singular almighty) God+#+are foreign to them#(for fanfiction purpose)#(completely in vain as it turns out)#i... kinda refuse#honestly i'm flabbergasted#merlin bbc#as we're putting unexpected shit into internet's vastness today#the adventures of merlin#merlin#Q
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Jesus I had no idea Kirk had this much hidden baggage. It’s honestly nuts how the conscious of the king side step’s Kirk’s feelings in favor of the other two survivors, Spock and Bones, and even the villains. Though perhaps that’s the point. Kirk’s focus on the task at hand, catching the bad guy and protecting his crew, meant ignoring his own personal connection to him in favor of biding his time to get the evidence. But that desire to separate the personal from his work for sure got the first survivor killed and nearly got O’Reilly and various other members of the enterprise killed. 
If Kirk had trusted the first survivor from the start perhaps the daughter wouldn’t have had the chance for the rest of the episode to happen. And it’s nice that Spock called him out for it and Bones backed Spock up. I like that Kirk’s confident and flirty Captain persona was so fake this time around that Spock immediately noticed something was wrong.
Honestly a lot better of an episode than I thought it was going to be.
Gonna need to hut down some good old hurt comfort and angsty stories about Kirk surviving Tarsus IV now.
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Edzio Gąska
For @steddiemicrofic "fool" | M | 454 | no cw | medieval AU, hoh Steve, mute Eddie, fade to black, established relationship
Dingdingdingdingding.
The constant jingle was surprisingly easy to get used to. In a way it became a part of him, alerting others of his presence, warning them, "shut your yaps! The Royal Fool is listening."
Not many cared about the warning, though. In their eyes, a jester without a tongue was as good as dead. He heard them whispering that the king should get someone actually entertaining more than once. None of them complained when he flipped out his lute, though.
When his king sat alone on his throne, disinterested and weary, he'd lean down and shake the hat in his face.
Dingdingdingdingding.
King Harrington would look up with a smile, without a hitch. Sometimes it was an amused smile, sometimes tired, and sometimes, it was dark. His fool liked all of them equally, but the dark smile was the most special.
When the guests leave and the servants gather to clean up, his real job starts. No one bats an eye as he follows the king to his chambers, he has a room adjecent to them anyway. He's a busy guy, playing the role of a personal servant on top of being the court's entertainer. He helps his king dress up in the morning and get ready for bed at night. He helps him plan and rule.
Behind closed doors, Eddie has his king's full attention.
His hands were flying, mouth forming words he couldn't voice, passing information he'd gathered around the party.
"Slow down, damn it," the king told him from the bed. "Got somewhere to be?"
Eddie glared at him. He looked down pointedly at the king's lap then back up. The king laughed.
"What did he say? Go on," he signed the words as he spoke. It always made Eddie more compliant, knowing he and his king had their own language, known only to them. He signed back all he had gathered from the courtier's gossip that day.
Good job, fool, he signed, when Eddie's arms dropped at his sides.
Dingdingdingdingding.
The hat jingled when the man shook his head.
"No?" The king raised his eyebrow.
Not fool, Eddie explains.
"Ah," the king nods in understanding and corrects himself. Sorry, love.
He barely has the time to reach out, when he gets a lap full of colorful fabric, bells, and long limbs. His jester settles against him with a content sigh and starts grinding almost immediately, the horny little creature. Without further prompting, he flips back and rolls them on the expensive sheets, his jester's hair losing the hat and splaying against the pillows.
"A kiss and I'll ride you?" he offers.
Eddie rolls his eyes but reaches up, tangles his fingers in the man's hair, and pulls him down.
#eddie is self conscious ab kissing since hes lost his tongue but steve knows how to motivate him#steddie#mine#cj x steddiemicrofic#steddiemicroficapril#steddie microfic#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#ff#st#stranger things 4#steddie fanfiction#steddie fic#medieval au#king steve#steddie ff#hoh steve harrington
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*!feral!
THE LITTLE MERMAID (2023) dir. Rob Marshall
#thelittlemermaidedit#the little mermaid 2023#whumpedit#ariel x eric#eric x ariel#the little mermaid#prince eric#ariel#princess ariel#halle bailey#jonah hauer king#disneyedit#the little mermaid spoilers#semi conscious-eric slowly moving his hand towards ariel’s and grabbing her hand#bouncing my legs scratching my neck plucking my hair peeling my lips oh it’s bad for me#gifs by me
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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I think a lot about the way Dorian used to see Cyrus as the perfect older brother, the perfect prince; the way Dorian felt free to go and find himself because Cyrus was capable and dependable and ready to be a leader. That isn’t the Cyrus we see! But I think it’s a lot more interesting, for both Cyrus and Dorian, to take that seriously. They’re princes, and we don’t know what that means because we haven’t seen their home, but socially a court is an elaborately constructed farce. And of course it can be easier to be competent in any familiar environment, but I also think it’s easier to know how you fit within a court environment specifically because there is an overwhelming number of factors to define yourself against and they all have expectations of you, and if they aren’t suffocating you like some kind of spider’s web then it might be perfect, like being a star in a constellation, or just the right puzzle piece. I think it’s reasonable to think that Cyrus was something like who Dorian thought he was, at home; except that Cyrus, like Dorian, wanted to choose the things he’s defining himself against. And I think it’s meaningful that he got swindled in the immediate aftermath of discarding that constellation of puzzle pieces. He was a fool (beloved), but it happened in the first blush of freedom, when he was just starting to figure out who he was or wanted to be without all that defined expectation, which is also - not coincidentally - the state Dorian was in when the spider queen sunk her fingers into his heart and twisted his alignment. The ‘hello world! uh oh’ of it all is something they had in common.
(Something they both had in common with Opal, too.)
I do think it’s interesting to look at Dorian’s sense of responsibility in light of this. I almost think Orym was a kind of north star for Dorian through parts of EXU prime, and I ship them, but it really felt like one of the things that made him able to reject the spider queen is that Orym needed him to. I think he wanted to be someone Orym could rely on, but I think Orym’s regard mattered to him because they genuinely had that protective urge in common - the pathway the spider queen used to skitter in was Dorian’s desire to protect his friends. And that drive to protect added a lot of poignancy to the in-universe reason that Dorian couldn’t return to bell’s hells after Cyrus’s debts were repaid, not just because Cyrus was still getting his legs under him but also because Opal needed help. That’s responsibility, again - he’s finishing what they started. Duty, obligation, but this time he’s chosen who and what he’s beholden to. Like maybe he’s chosen a new version of a puzzle piece that he might have thought he was throwing out entirely when he chose freedom and walked away from home.
I loved that Fearne’s vision also haunted Dorian; he misses her, and it also feels like a solid way to illustrate the spider queen’s effect on Dorian, that the danger of his own corruption has rarely been something he had the luxury to think about. His friends have always needed him. I don’t know if he had time to process his aborted fall during his time in Zephrah, or if there’s still something underneath, but I think it’s telling that this fear doesn’t look like Opal, the one literally bleeding ichor from her forehead; it predates that, it started before Opal was the one to worry about.
And I think he knows he didn’t fail them - Cyrus, Opal, Fy’ra - accidental thunder damage notwithstanding - but, with the way he felt through that suggestion spell and its aftermath, I don’t really know what to make of his abandoning Dariax. It’s a little hard to look at that and not see a drive to isolate. Determined to leave him with a good memory, but most of all, to leave. He started that one-shot interlude having just admitted to himself that he was longing to be Somewhere Else, but I almost wonder if he still would have gone back to bell’s hells if Orym hadn’t asked.
(God, the suggestion spell. The way they processed it was hurtful to me personally. Dariax immediately shifting from ‘won’t leave Opal!’ to ‘let’s go! Opal has a plan’ kind of broke my heart, and I actually think that the spell could have worked on Dorian by just making what was really happening feel reasonable - the last shred of your friend is trying to save you, and you can’t save her from anything except becoming your murderer, so you should do that. But the spell can’t make sense out of abandoning Cyrus’s body, so Dorian just goes numb with grief and rage. Mass suggestion is 24 hours. That is 24 hours of numbness, and rage, and walking, and walking, and walking, and every once in awhile Dariax’s voice, friendly and steady and sure, ‘Opal has a plan.’ And at the end of it the ability to feel returns, but he’s so tired, and he hurts, and everything hurts too much to think about, and poor Dariax probably stops in his tracks, just ‘Dorian? What was Opal’s plan?’)
And he really was so angry. It’s interesting to wonder if that’s still under the surface. He immediately turned to levity - for their sake, and his own - but that moment where the group tells him who killed Will and Derrig, and Robbie instantly wrote down Otohan’s name, didn’t just read like a player taking notes, to me, it read like Dorian putting a name in a ledger. I think it’s easy to let that go because he learns that she’s dead in the very next moment, but I think Dorian felt a weird kind of relief for that half-second, because so much of his anger at what happened to Cyrus and Opal was from being forced to acknowledge that there wasn’t anyone easy to blame, except perhaps a god; and blaming a god is like blaming the universe. What a relief, however short lived, to be faced with a problem you can solve.
#critical role#exandria unlimited#dorian storm#crown keepers#here’s me with my king lear court fool feels#the way nothing that depends on structure works anymore once you break out of it#unless and until you make your own#and my continuing fascination with dorian’s self-conscious but achingly sincere attempt at self invention#performance as a kind of honesty#i do wonder what this could mean for dorian when all this is over#i hope he only goes home if it’s something he wants#i want him to have what he wants#(orym)
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ok now that that update is out i can show u the gays <3
#grandpa and his sunflower WHAAA-#also i really like these shoes on kai#he will outfit repeat them what a earth conscious king#wip
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