#connect and reaching out anyway
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I've been thinking a lot about connections lately
#its because of Woolf#there's just so much about connection embedded in her works and its just I love that#just yearning to connect wanting to connect yearning for more than connection at a superficial level and wanting to be emotionally intimate#but knowing that it is never completely possible that you can never really understand the depths of every person but still yearning to#connect and reaching out anyway#and even if sometimes trying to connect or reconnect can be frustrating or be annoying at times at some points you feel the ah... this is#really nice and this is why I love this#idk just thoughta#and just I've been a bit sentimental lately#I've just had such nice and supportive irl friends in recent years and its just been so .... nice#I'm just been really thankful and happy#being surrounded by such lovely people online and irl is just really healing#please know that I'm thankful for all of you#and for those mutuals who I've made and don't see much now I still think of them too I hope they're well#it's just in such a vast world with so many people and you meet people for such a small amount of time and you just form a connection just#how amazing is that#kat's asides
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Iāve said it before, Iāll say it again one of the biggest themes of this show is the denial of love and human connection, the way Lumon and oppressive powers discourage if not outright forbid it unless they can use it, the way they think love and grief are easily cut away by removing memories, and the fact that despite their best efforts, love and human connection will still blossom.
And people complain itās a pointless straight ship when we see it expressed again with Cobel - the longing for a love/relationship/connection she could never explore with a fellow child laborer, that she likely will never get to explore because Lumon took so much from them.
#And while I recognize the desire for representation it actually doesnāt suddenly make that exploration of connection mean more#If harmony had kissed a woman#It still means something here. To dismiss it as pointless or only would matter if it was gay is annoying!!!#It matters because itās genuine human connection and love and Lumon is robbing people of it!! Trying to keep them from it#And they are reaching out anyways in the ways they can!!!#severance#severance spoilers#harmony cobel
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Iāve gotta admit as much as I know Darabella is a flawed ship (and some of the ppl who are anti for it have legit criticisms I love yāall for pointing it out cause it frustrates the hell out of me too trust) theyāll always just kind of be it for me.
Because as much as it was an āI can fix himā trope, as much as Rosabella could be selfish and Daringās flaws got cranked up to 1000, she was also the first person to look at him after his destiny, the thing he dedicated his life to, failed, when people were questioning him as a prince and putting pressure on his and Appleās relationship and tell him that, like, maybe it would be alright? Maybe this wasnāt his destiny, and maybe that was okay.
And the part that really gets me? Sheās the first person after this happens to tell him that it doesnāt matter whatās on the outside, which as much as you can like other Daring ships or him whatever he desperately needed to hear. Not even cause he was selfish, thatās not what Iām saying, but bc he placed his whole identity on this image that people concocted for him based on him appearing the perfect prince. He was handsome, he was talented, and he was handsome! So who cares about him as a person?
Idk man. You spend four seasons (I watch the specials on Netflix so thatās why four idk if itās three to some ppl or whatever tho) watching him be praised for his looks, watching girls fawn over him, and of course he enjoys it so nobody really questions how much he enjoys it. And then you get this girl, this girl who owes him nothing, this girl who (contrary to popular belief apparently) has a life of her own and people she cares about outside of him, and sheās nice to him. And sheās the first person after everything happens to just be nice to him, for the sake of being nice. Something about that will always hit different for me
#itās her seeing him as more than the perfect prince that heās been told he has to be his whole life#and maybe she doesnāt approach that perfectly sure but also maybe sheās human and a teenager and sheāll fuck up and make mistakes#but the foundation of their entire relationship is that moment of reaching out and connection#and just saying iām here with you. i donāt know you that well and i donāt care about you that much and i have a million reasons not to be#but iām here for you anyway. because you matter and i donāt know if anyoneās told you that yet. and maybe#idk. maybe you need to hear it#anyway sorry iām not trying to start shit iāve just seen so many ppl shitting on them in this fandom#and some of the critiques i agree w! iām not saying they were written perfectly thereās a ton i would change abt their writing if i could#(which i do. through fanfic)#but i just wanted to offer a reason i personally attached to them among all the ppl ranting against#if anyone wants to present their own opinions (RESPECTFULLY) tho#iād be happy to have a conversation abt it! i love talking abt stuff like this feel free to leave rants in my notes guys#ever after high#eah#rosabella beauty#daring charming#darabella
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System Collapse: at this rate the corporates are going to shut down this planet and enslave its people as salvageā¦ unless we put on the biggest talent show this town has ever seen.
#the murderbot diaries#this was my one thought after finishing this book and itās still the most coherent one bouncing around in my head#spoilers for System Collapse#sorta#this book did not go where i expected (im not really sure what i expected) but high speed video editing is a talent for sure#i went into this series thinking SecUnitās love of serials as a kind of gimmick. but over and over itās shown that its connection#to art (im not calling it media the same way i donāt call art ācontentā) is so integral to the way it perceives and reaches out#into the world#others have spoken about this far more extensively and eloquently than im capable of.#im very proud of SecUnit. anyway yes i loved this book
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Coming atcha in this incredible sweater I inherited from my late grandfather
#spitblaze says things#im so sad i never got a chance to ask him to take me clothes shopping before his health went down the tubes and i figured myself out#i kinda feel that way with grief anyway. a lot of oughta coulda woulda shoulda. feeling like i squandered my time with them#that it wasnt meaningful enough. that we didnt form enough of a connection#but whatever its too late now. just gotta keep it in mind moving forwards. making connections and reaching out to ppl is So Fucking Hard#but its worth it and i KNOW its worth it and im tired of feeling like i never truly got to know someone before it was too late#im very bad at initiating conversations. im trying to work on it but starting shit is the hardest thing in the world for me#if we're friends and havent talked in a while feel free to reach our#like. maybe nor right this minute its like 11 and ive spent all day either driving or with family. im wiped#but yknow#see. him face#ftm#transmasc#nonbinary#transmasculine
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I already mentioned it in my rb but since Cookieland is only opened to those who are purest of heart, I think it would be so funny that half the cookies cream befriends just wouldnāt be able to come in š
āCream what the hell why wonāt you open the gate for me???ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½
āItās not up to me :((((ā
Bonus adding on my hc that not only can the unpure not enter the park but they canāt even SEE the park it would be very fun me thinks
YEAH LMAO I like to think that Cream Unicorn can manually adjust the guest list to include "people pure of heart + my friends :D" if they want but Uni's bad guy friends not being allowed in is hilarious.
Imagine Affogato and Caramel Arrow arrive to visit them at the same time. There's tension between them from the get-go but they both decide to stay silent about it for their friend's sake... the gate opens and Caramel Arrow walks in- and then the gate immediately closes before Affogato can step through. And refuses to open back up. Caramel Arrow would laugh her ass off.
In my main affouni au that exists solely in my head, the two meet in CookieLand, but Affogato literally has to break in because the gate won't open for him. There is an unsung hilarity in that stupid rule and Cream Unicorn's apparent habit of befriending evil people
(Though there is something to be said in that, I'd say. Had things gone differently, Cream Unicorn's loneliness may have led them down the same path as Affogato, Licorice, and Red Velvet...)
#cookie run#cream unicorn cookie#cookie run headcanons#red velvet is definitely more arguable on their list of friends#same with Licorice but less so#both of them had a similar kind of connection made with Cream Unicorn but Licorice's was a bit more strong I'd say#but both of them were made by Cream Uni reaching out and asking them abt smth they cared about without ridicule...#Affogato probably Also somewhat uncertain a bit but given the way he blushed & seemed embarrassed about it#it was probably genuine!!#sigh now i'm thinking about affouni again. affogato being willing to actually be friends with cream uni is so important to me#anyway. caramel arrow is definitely on the list though. WHOLE ass monologue about why cream uni deserves the win. she likes them#the other LCS members... I think Cream Unicorn would consider them friends but they wouldn't consider Cream Uni their friend#except for MAYBE Milky Way & Strawberry Crepe just bc they both have interactions with Uni outside of LCS#idk why i started going on this tag rant about Cream Unicorn's friends#but anyway. I like to translate these to the main canon just bc I like Cream Uni to have all the friends they can get :]
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genuinely trying to improve as a person by being vulnerable with people and actively trying to make connections and plans and build friendships and i s2g the vulnerability makes me want to vomit every single time
#stomach in knots at the prospect of being seen#also as i work my way back through my lifetime as an emotionally immature person im unearthing new pieces#of who i used to be and some shitty things i did while lashing out#and its really hard to discern which things to let lie because its been 11 years and which things to reach out and apologize for#so thats been fun#*through gritted teeth* this is going to improve my life and my connections with people#i WILL claw a life worth living out of the apathy i fell into in my twenties#its okay if it takes 10 15 20 years because that time will pass anyway#i am doing a good job even if my central nervous system is short circuiting as i type this
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FFXIVWrite2024 Prompt 3 - Tempest
characters: Corisande Ymir, Hermes rating: G | word count: 372 words notes: 6.0 spoilers through Ktisis Hyperboreia and all the cutscenes immediately after
At the highest point of Ktisis Hyperboreia, Hermes falls to his knees. He is a person again, the transformation undone and the conjured winds dissipating in his defeat. He kneels in the middle of the platform, hunched and winded, and despite the performance he just displayed, he seems more fragile to Corisande than before.Ā
Before anyone can stop themāand Corisande knows they will tryāthey step forward. Their borrowed shoes make little sound against the metal floor as they approach, their robe whispers around their legs. The others murmur behind them, oneās protests louder than the others, but Corisande presses forward.
She stops beside him, and sets her gun on the floor as she kneels. His gaze stays on the ground, but the pain etched in the turn of his mouth is obvious. She can only guess at the depth of it, measured against the memory of her own paināthe nearly forgotten hurt of always feeling on the outside, the grief caused by no one attempting to understand, the strain of not belonging where she was but having nowhere else to go.Ā
Corisande rests their hand on his forearm, and he finally looks up. They meet his wild, teary gaze, and will him to remember. The flower changes for me, too.
He blinks, and the storm in his eyes clears. For a moment, Corisande can see the same wide-eyed understanding they shared on the grounds below, the flower held gently between their hands.
It only lasts a heartbeat, the space of a breath, the single rise and fall of a pair of wings, before a voice cuts in. āItās over, Hermes.āĀ
The moment shatters, and the loss is a jagged pain in her chest. They both stand, and Hermesā eyes dart away to watch Hades approach, something akin to resignation in his gaze.
Corisande falls back to the space between Hythlodaeus and Venat. Sheās not quite sure what comes next, but whatever it is, she knows she canāt stop it. Thereās no saving him, or any of them, from what has already happened.Ā
But even when he turns against them again, when he traps them in chains, when the winds rage once moreāshe cannot shake the feeling she let him and Meteion down.
#ffxivwrite2024#ffxivwrite#kels writes#idk cori's connection to hermes just makes me so emotional šš and i think this entire dungeon she's like. what if we were kind to him#and i hc out that other reaching for someone as she leaves ktisis but this one. is so important to me lol#that she knew it wouldnt change anything. couldnt. and she still did it anyway. but it didnt help bc it couldnt change!!#endwalker spoilers#i was trying to keep it out of any endwalker searches bc i dont like being perceived. but here we go
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i wish i had a writing group
#every text post lately has been i wish#but im SERIOUS#just like the last one about writing yall letters#I'M SERIOUS!!!!#human ache for connection has just been at an all time high lately#anyway .... if u know how to run one or would like an extra member or just would like to share our writing / write together#then ... idk reach out??? i dont know#i never know where to start looking for these things
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if wriothesley doesn't appear in any quest once we get to remuria, what even is the point?
the parallels between wrio and king remus are crystal clear. remus who descended upon meropis (a name very familiar to anyone who knows of the fortress of meropide) in his golden fortuna, the legendary ship of remus that is also called the bringer of civilization and glory (wrio who built a ship to deal with the misfortune upon fontaine) is an example of it.
wrio also has connections to hades with the cerberus motif as guardian of the underworld. it's curious that the tower in remuria is described not only as not built to receive heavenly oracles, serving as a guide to ships traveling between islands, but also as a border of reality and dreams. if this is not necessarily literal but a metaphor or allegory, it could fit very well with the idea of a portal between domains or realms, like life and death.
wriothesley also parallels another character in the genshin universe and that person is arlecchino. they were brought up as orphans, taken in by an institution with corrupted leaders, which they reformed and achieved a leading position of. and funnily enough, she has ties to purgatory (a place for punishment, much like the fortress). as i have said in another post, purgatory has been described by dante as a tower leading to heaven. but we also know that celestia in the genshin world is associated with the demon realm - archons being named after ars goetia, an anonymous grimoire on demonology. although the concepts aren't the same in theory, is it impossible that the game has used elements of both? wriothesley and arlecchino's themes are similar enough to overlap. even though i don't expect wriothesley to be lore revelant anymore, i do think his ties to remuria and his role as someone who punishes others for their sins, much like arlecchino, is very much purposeful.
#another random post because i read the history of the decline and fall of remuria and i keep reaching the same conclusions sghdfasgd#i don't know what to make of it but i feel like i'm so much on the right track for arle's lore but i am probably still missing something#important ahah probably related to the narzissenkreuz ordo and khaenri'ah (and consequently the#hilicurl curse) since arle probably has ties to that era as well. she was probably done experiments on much like caterpillar but i have no#idea my first instinct tells me she's not from khaenri'ah but who knows i'll love to find out#anyway this was a post about wrio but again arlecchino has taken over my mind so it is what it is#i forgot to include in the post but fortuna is not only the goddess of fortune and luck but also the god of fate. wrio who built the boat i#hopes to challenge the fate of fontaine vs pierro saying fate grants favors to no one and implying arlecchino has been able to challenge it#like. lore is so fun!!!!!! i see little dots connecting things but i'm like a 3 year old trying to connect them and failing miserably lol#wriothesley#arlecchino#genshin impact#genshin thoughts
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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Ayyyyy, there are a couple of people on this site who, if I see you reblogging from them often enough i will simply block you. Not a bad by association thing, it doesn't make me think anything about you. But put quite simply, these are people I refuse to be in "six degrees from kevin bacon" vacinity of them. Them showing up on my dash because people I follow are following them means my occupied space has gotten too close to those motherfuckers, and I'm not about that.
Anyway, this isn't a call out post, I'm not making morality commentary here, but sometimes you look at a person and go "if we are ever in the same room I'm going to jail for murder" and that's just how life is
#the v spidey is one wetware problemo is another vergey cespit and all their alts are another#like at this point in my life i simply refuse to exist in the company of anyone who exists in their company#has that lost me friends? yup! and my life has immediately improved every time#it's not that these are bad people#but the kind of person who would find it a positive to spend time around those fuckers#is usually the kind of person it is some manner of difficult for me to be around#and not being around people that are hard to be around is relaxing :)#anyway i will absolutely not be entertaining argument or debate on this post#but if you are someone who follows me or a mutual and you know that these folks are in your sphere#feel free to reach out! we can talk about it and worst case scenario i block you here but we exchange other connection platforms#i will absolutely not be in shared space with those people for anyone's sake tho. sorry
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wait hold on i just realized; i think dog ENTIRELY forgets to tell bachus about the proposal when it first happens
they're busy with Emotions and work (in my mind they go back and forth between bachus n saturns ships.. depending on where they're needed. + occasionally satis just to Bother Him) (+they didn't wanna talk FEELINGS..)so it slips their mind entirely (even in another universe u are NOT immune to adhd-)
goes back and he's just
hey brother you got somethin to tell me or-
#jackals barks#ship: reach out touch faith <>#ship: hate made us feel so alive <3<#i am Also constantly back n forth on if those two are married. or if they jus act like an old married couple#2nd is actually funny for others assumin they are bc. At The Fuckin Hip type connected and are ??????? at the revelation#Anyways they awkwardly explain and hes just (o: You What? (not abt the proposal but the meltdown w/out talkin 2 him abt it)#dog texting sati like 'IM COMING BACK TO THE SHIP-' '??' 'MY MOIRAIL IS DISAPPOINTED AND THATS SCARIER THAN HIM BEIN MAD' 'lol' 'FUCK YOU-'
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I think I'm growing up alright. I'm gonna keep at it.
#i worry a lot#you know#i'm afraid of other people#i'm afraid of the future#but i know i can overcome#or at the very least#the worst that can happen is that everything falls apart and i die#which would solve a problem i was looking for solutions way back when#so no worries there#i want to be connected#i want to hold onto something real#i want to become something real#i having become real want to reach out to you#with my weak arms and this slender spider's thread to carry us#maybe i'm doomed to fail#i don't know#i won't find out till the end#and there's just one chance anyways#so whatever#i'll keep going#i hope i can become someone worth relying on#not just an amusement or someone to ogle (though i'm not averse)#but i want to make the world just a little bit nicer#for those of us who fear it too#hand in hand#but i have wings that can take me anywhere#so i know i'll reach that distant sky
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the nancy boy thing is just so fucking insane because like. they broke from the spelling of this name to do it but also incorporated it into the spelling of his name with n for nancy (possibly showing how he associates it with himself). but the license plate could have been any letter and that letter could have been any word and they chose b for boy. they could have cut to the license plate from any letter in dennis and they chose n for nancy. and we already know the way dennis spells out his name/words in this scene is very important metaphorically they showed us with that alternate D.E.N.N.I.S. system he gives us so.....they did that on purpose and drew attention to it
#after days of reflection (i went outside) im still a dtamhd defender but specifically for the writing#i think whether it works or not is another question but im there are so many little details and intentions and it is so fascinating to me!!#it brings out the writer nerd in me its made me push myself in my own writing#imo this episode is very tightly written when it comes to all these little details#and i dont think they would do all That with nancy boy for just no reason? it doesnt make sense from a writers pov#esp when the scene establishes the importance of dennis spelling things out#on a literal level hes trying to reach/connect to the person on the other side of the line. to be understood. and i think on an even more#internal level he's doing it to simplify + process whats happening and what he's feeling within himself#anyway still trying to have a little tumblr break but im sooo autistic about this one bit in particular
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I fully did not expect to write a fic today (or this week, for that matter), let alone finish one. But I woke up with an idea this morning and here we are! A very short exploration of Phil and Dorothy's relationship, in the context of queerness (and boy, do I have more thoughts about them now!)
Summary
Phil looks for an ally in Dorothy, but these are the 1950s ā and not everyone is brave enough to be themselves just yet.
#i mean!! the contrast!!#on one hand there's phil who has always. always!! been himself#cross-dressing *as a child* as early as the 1950s#and then there's dorothy; our favourite repressed lesbian#both from the same family!#i can only imagine the friction that might've caused between these two#phil looking to connect with his sister (who's much older than him & moved out before he was even properly a teenager)#and finding this one huge thing they probably have in common. yet being unable to reach out to her with that because she doesn't want to#see it herself??#ughh#anyway this is all 100% based on headcanon because aside from some of sophia's stories we know literally nothing about phil#hope you enjoy anyway lol#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak#phil petrillo
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