#conkers quotes

[conkers-thecosy]

“Put your arms through,” Thorin practically ordered, and Bilbo did as he was bid, at once feeling swamped by the heavy garb.

“Oh!” he cried suddenly, looking down at how the hem was touching the floor. “It’ll get dirty!”

“Hush,” Thorin flashed a tiny smile at him, now taking Bilbo’s hands in both of his own and warming them. “Fussy hobbit.”

“Stubborn dwarf,” Bilbo grumbled in response, though with a fondness he simply couldn’t contain these days. Thorin made no reply to this and continued to slowly rub his fingers to thaw them.

-"Backs To The Wall" Chapter 18, by Conkers (me!)

[wolpertinger-prince]

Ze Professor during the scrapped Panther King Boss battle:

"It vould seem zat you two bitches have come to a standstill in fairy princess castle. You have thirteen seconds before ze castle fucking launches into space you Disney villain wannabe and you red furry son of a bitch. You have done notzing but destroy my life I hope you both die."

[crossoverquest]

Location: Somewhere in Miami

Sheeta to Dexter: Hey, pal, watch where you're going!

Dexter: Eh. Alright there. Take my advice and get outta here. There's something really bad in PortMiami. You just don't wanna go in there.

Sheeta: Calm down. Now, just calm down and tell me what's the matter.

Dexter: Right. Ok, it all started about two days ago...

Tom: I..it was us and our parents’ friends. We were havin a cup of tea. The next thing we know, Mr. Goatetsky was gone.

Dexter: We couldn't find him! We thought: “Ah, maybe he's just gone off, ya know, do a bit of shopping or something.” He never came back.

Tom: Travis was next. He was just walking along, minding his own buisness, so I stood there and I said "Hey, Travis! How'ya doin there, like, mate?" And he waved over…

Dexter: And that was it. This thing came out of the water, and I thought to myself: “Oh no. Oh, oh, I’m getting me and Tom out of this!", and when we came out, cause I thought it was all clear, my friends were gone. Our mother Yae left us behind in her haste. We’re outta here. You can do what you like.

Tom: Wasabi’s up there if you can be arsed to find her. See ya.

[schifty-al]

"Now the things is, you may not be dead, but that doesn't mean you can't die. You just have a few more, shall we say... chances."

- Gregg the Grim Reaper

[conkerau]

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[tomboyjessie13-artblog]

Sorry if I haven't posted any drawings for a while, I was heavily distracted. I drew this two days ago during program, but it took me long to finish because of said distractions.

Anyways, ever since I written this incorrect quote, I've began wanting more interactions between her and Steely Dan: Link

I'd like to imagine that their relationship would be sort of similar to Stevonnie and Kevin from "Steven Universe", with Dan acting like a prick when he flirts with her with Medea shutting him down either with extreme vitriol(as seen above) due to her past relationships gone sour, or just simply ignoring him.

Does it retcon their first meeting? Kind of, but that's what happens when you flesh out OCs and their relationships with Canon characters in fanart and fanfiction.

And yes, I chose a quote from "Conker's Bad Fur Day" because I wanted an insult that stings.

Medea King belongs to me

[the-rookies-playbook]

Heated Drama in the World of Conker

10/15/2024 Rookies Playbook

Guys, I’m not going to lie the image for this article pulled me in, and a sport called Conker?  Doesn’t seem possible, and to top it all off someone is cheating at it! 

Before I get to the drama, I know we’re all asking what is Conker?  We’ll let me tell you, it’s a game involving Chesnut and string.  From my understanding, you carve a hole in the middle of a chestnut, and in the wise words of BBC.CO.UK “You then flick your conker back to whack your opponent's conker”.  

“King Conker” or his more well-known name David Jakins, has been accused of cheating by using a metal chesnut and taking his opponent Conker down with one hit. 

Jakins, who is also a judge, quoted "I was found with the steel conker in my pocket, but I only carry [it] around with me for humor value and I did not use it during the event,"

He went on to add “Yes, I did help prepare the conkers before the tournament. But this isn't cheating or a fix, and I didn't mark the strings. I just tried to hit hard, and somehow, I finally won." which to me sounds very cheaty. 

Jakins losing opponent Alastair Johnson-Ferguson, 23, said “My conker disintegrated in one hit, and that just doesn't happen, Now it turns out King Conker had a dummy steel conker, so he could have swapped his real conker for that one. Or he could have marked the conker strings to pick out a harder nut. I'm suspicious of foul play and have expressed my surprise to organizers." 

While until today I have never heard of Conker, I can confidently say that the drama is heating here and will explode any day.  Jakins doesn’t seem to be shown in a shining light right now, and his involvement is just not adding up, but hey I’m not British so what do I know?

[game-boy-pocket]

I feel like it's not even that accurate for people to describe CBFD as mature, it's really more just raunchy for raunchy's sake. I guess that's a lot of quote-unquote mature media though. I agree, it was never really to my taste. It feels very reactionary, like it's meant to appeal to 12 year olds more than anything. South Park is an apt comparison, but speaking as a non-fan of SP I actually think it's generally funnier than Conker ever was. I know I'm in the minority for not enjoying Conker that much but meh, I've always been soured by its presentation. Shallow? Probably. But nonetheless...

I was using "Mature" in the sense of the general term for ratings, but I agree, most stuff featuring cartoony characters intended for mature audiences is some of the most immature shit i've seen.

You're entitled to not like Conker. I probably never would have given it a look if it wasn't for the Rareware pedigree. I don't regret it, I'm fond of the game, but the funniest stuff in it is actually some of the jokes that aren't raunchy. The Tediz in the surgery room breaking character and speaking in refined voices, the squirrel puppet knowing a ton about military equipment and trying to play it off like she learned it in school, the Grim Reaper hating Cats for them having nine lives (admittedly he swears a lot about it but it's the idea that's funny rather than the execution )

I don't blame anyone for not enjoying the game very much. But I'm glad it exists... still, I think we would have been better off with Twelve Tales.

[its-atlass]

Welcome to my blog where I mostly brainrot over my fandoms, and occasionally write some fanfics about it! Under the cut you’ll find links to where you can find me and my works. Be mindful of the tags, some future works will be 18+!

My ask box is always open for questions, whether it be about my current projects, previous fics, fandom discussion, or whatever your heart desires (within reason, of course. Please do not be racist, homophobic, ableist, or just an ass in general)!

Hope you enjoy your stay here and thank you for your support! <3

Fandoms

The Hobbit – pairings: Bagginshield (Bilbo/Thorin), Nwalin (Dwalin/Nori)

Lord of the Rings – pairings: SamFro (Samwise/Frodo), Gigolas (Gimli/Legolas)

The Magnus Archives – pairings: Jmart (Jonathan/Martin), TimSasha (Tim/Sasha)

Merlin (BBC) – pairings: Merthur (Merlin/Arthur)

Hermitcraft – pairings (all platonic): Grian & Mumbo, Grian & Scar, Grian, Mumbo & Scar

My Work

Bagginshield:

Make It Out (Updated 12/15/23) – ON HIATUS

To Someone from A Warm Climate (Fem!Bagginshield drabble for @sunnyrosewritesstuff )

I Did Not Sign Up for This (coming Halloween 2024)

A Song of The Flowers & Stones (coming 2024 maybe, don’t quote me on that)

Age Old Ceremonies That We Made Up (coming 2025 most likely)

Merthur:

Honey, I Laugh When It Sinks In (18+ drabble, coming soon)

Where to find me!

Instagram

Ao3

Fic Recommendations

Bagginshield:

“Backs To The Wall” by @conkers-theficwriter

“A Most Unlikely Dance Partner” by @fantasyinallforms

“In June and June and More June” by dragonslaeyr

Merthur:

“And like the cycle of the year, we begin again” by @katherynefromphilly

[i-am-brandon]

My Life’s Story Chapter2

Me and My friend William used to watch wrestling, I think it was hulk hogan era wrestling, back then wrestling was called WWF, but now it’s called WWE. Later I think William rooted for John Cena I think he’s still into wrestling, yeah John Cena seems good he’s 1 of the best wrestlers I think this is true, I want John Cena arms. William was good at an n64 game called goldeneye, goldeneye was a shooting video game based on the movie goldeneye which was a James Bond movie, i like that movie, in the video game William used the golden gun I think that kills you in 1 hit, this video game also had multiplayer, back then though video games didn’t have online multiplayer, they did not, it was just controllers, back then you had to be in the same room with someone with a controller, any who, William was good at this game when it came to multiplayer, William would kill me every time in the game with the golden gun, I later learned that people can memorize where you spawn in this game and kill you every time with the golden gun. Back then I wasn’t allowed to play conkers bad fur day, that was another n64 game. I don’t think I was allowed to play it because it’s an inappropriate squirrel game with violence, I’m not sure if it’s offensive or not. Well there was Mario n64, my sister Hope used to play it, she only liked the level with the slide I don’t know why that was the only part of the game she wanted to play. I used to have an nes, a Nintendo entertainment system, another video game console like the n64, I think I used to play duck hunt on it, it’s a game where you kill ducks with a fake gun I don’t think it has violence in it and a dog laughs at you when you lose. I had a female neighbor and her religion was about portals that was 1 of my California neighbors. I had another neighbor in California she was Chinese, she had a black and white couch, she used to make me chow mein noodles so that was good, my dad died of skin cancer when I was younger I saw his dead body in an open casket I felt his face he felt like a stone or something and I cried for 2 years after that, my mom would say to me get over it, although I did like that movie called get over it I used to watch it with my sister hope and her friend Jennifer. We would quote dialogue from it like Jessica, Jessica which I think was said by Martin short we liked that dialogue. I went to a private Christian school, and they would have me memorize bible verses, goosebumps a book i liked was banned at that school, Pokémon cards might of been banned because it lead to gambling with some students, the popular guy at my school wrote on a wall on it he wrote this school will be the next Columbine which was a school shooting, he got in trouble for that, people didn’t like it, and he was negative about himself and everybody seemed to like him and his dad said don’t be positive about him he shouldn’t of done that or something like that. Another school trend was yo yos, yep younger me liked yo yos, yo yos are like a circle thing on a rope or somethin’ it goes down and comes back up it’s like a bouncy ball kind of, but not all yo yos do that like the wooden yo yos some yo yos just go down and they don’t come back up like the wooden yo yos, the wooden yo yos was 1 of the worst gifts I ever I got and I don’t remember who gave me that gift it was the worst gift I have ever gotten, it just stays down yo yos are supposed to come up, what yo yos did we like me and my younger friends, the yo mega yo yos these yo yos would go down and come back up by itself, am I right about the yo mega yo yos it was definitely 1 of the yo yos. I watched Barney the purple dinosaur show when I was younger it wasn’t a bad show. It seemed ok to younger me. Pokémon card’s were also banned at my private Christian school because people would sell them for money, I don’t think the school wanted people to do that, that sounds like gambling because somebody usually gets money in gambling, me and my younger friend’s we liked the Pokémon card’s.

[horsewithaface]

Oooh this looks fun!!🤭🤭

How old were you when you first watched/read LOTR for the first time?

• I was 17 when I first read and watched LOTR (ik, late bloomer😔😔)

Favourite LOTR character?

• Changes depending on my mood but I really love the characterisation of Boromir but Faramir so so so pretty😗😳 however, Merry holds a soft spot in my heart🤭🫶🫶

Books or Movies?

• I love how easy it is to watch the movies to share my love for this trilogy with others, but reading the books has been so fun and there are so many little things that I wish the movies had that were done differently in the books that are just so charming

Favourite Movie?

• Return of the King😩

Which location in Middle-Earth would you want to visit most?

• Either Lothlorien or The Shire🤭

Favourite Scene?

• Boromir teaching Merry and Pippin to fight is my everything but also Boromir’s death scene is just so heart-wrenching and beautiful, it gets me every time

Favourite quote?

• “I doubt very much if your friends would be in danger if you were not with them! The pursuit would follow you and leave us in peace, I think. It is you, Frodo, and that which you bear that brings us all in peril.” - Glorfindel (fancy talk for “Shut the fuck up you twat, YOU are the problem. Now get in my goddamn horse.” - makes me giggle when I think about it)

What Middle-Earth race would you most want to be?

• For the aesthetic I would love to be an elf but realistically I would appreciate the Hobbit life a lot.

Favourite LOTR ship?

• Aragorn x Boromir is 🤭😩🫶❤️‼️ However I am also a strong Gimli x Legolas supporter🤭

No pressure tags: @bookworm-with-coffee @diet-cokette @thranduilofsmirkwood @raccooninmycabbages @conkers-theficwriter @fizzyxcustard :D

LOTR themed tag game! Reblog with your own answers and tag three or more people you want to get to know better!

How old were you when you read/watched LOTR for the first time: 21

Favourite LOTR character: Legolas c:

Books or movies: the books are fun but I prefer the movies

Favourite movie: The Two Towers

Which location in Middle Earth would you want to visit most: Lothlorien!

Favourite scene: either Aragorn showing up at Helms Deep after being presumed dead and throwing open the doors dramatically or Legolas taking down the Oliphaunt. Or that scene in The Hobbit when Galadriel shows up in Rivendell because she looks absolutely gorgeous (but when doesn't she?)

Favourite quote: "Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf." "How about side by side with a friend?" "Aye, I could do that."

What Middle Earth race would you want to be: A Silvan elf. I am clearly biased >.>

Favourite LOTR ship if you have one: Mm. I don't really have one? I don't mind Legolas/Aragorn but I wouldn't exactly say I ship it. I like their relationship as friends. Can I say platonic Legolas/Aragorn?

Tagging @dontfearrr @cartoon-aragorn @quillofspirit

[conkers-thecosy]

When you write something that just makes you tee hee

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Banjo: Conker, it’s so good to see you! Did you do anything to celebrate your game’s 20th Anniversary?

Conker: Why would I celebrate the worse day of my life?

Kazooie: I would say as an excuse to drink heavily, but when has that ever stopped you?

Banjo: Kazooie!

[splat-dragon-correct-fandoms]

Arthur: What's... going... on? Can't... breathe...

[conkerau]

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[incorrect-gravity-rush-quotes]

Aki: What’s in it for me?

Raven: Cash.

Aki: That’ll do.