#condy bear

[excelsior-dreamer]

shoutout to jrwi and specifically grizzlyplays for dragging me back here. i now have to go purge the hell out of my blog

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

hi! i saw on your shipping chart you had meenah and cronus as moirails and noted 'would have prevented all problems' and ive never really seen that take before. id love to hear your thoughts on that if you wanted to talk about them, your analysis in general is always amazing

Sure! I know this one's going to be controversial, but TBH I'm kind of fascinated by their dynamic. So please bear with me here and come into it with an open mind; I was also really surprised when I noticed what was going on.

Also, standard disclaimer that nobody has to agree with me or ship my ships, I literally don't care, HCs are valid, death of the author, etc. etc. This is just a canon discussion blog, and there's kind of a weird amount to read into in the canon between these two.

Okay, so, first of all, quick refresher on moirallegiance: it's not necessarily about being BFFs, it's very specifically about pacifying each other, keeping each other calm and stable, and preventing each other from causing harm to oneself or to others.

Ergo, the marker of moirallegiance rests not on "do these two get along as BFFs?" and instead on "do these two keep each other calm and/or mitigate each others' harm".

So with that out of the way, Cronus and Meenah. We know that Cronus has a redcrush on her, echoing Eridan's redcrush on Feferi, and that Meenah is not interested at all. Cronus shoots his shot with her, she's like ick, no & leaves, and that's that on that. Cronus then rounds on Mituna and says some unbelievably cruel and shitty stuff, but here's Point #1 - Meenah shows up again, and Cronus stops immediately, and then is noticeably calmer and friendlier to Mituna. Compare:

CRONUS: you are a brain damaged reject on a team full of rejects. a rejects reject. i vwould havwe culled you myself if that vword meant vwhat it should havwe on our planet.

-

CRONUS: vwell, this is clearly absurd, but nyeh, vwhat the heck. CRONUS: mituna, i just cant take it anymore. i think my ghost is going to kill itself. MITUNA: WH0W4H L375 FUCK!!!!! CRONUS: vwait... CRONUS: really? MITUNA: N0 0Y0 P135H3 0FF 1ND107 FUGG1NG G4R484G3  #FUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0U CRONUS: oh.

So at the very least, SOMETHING conciliatory seems to be happening here, whether that's pale or ashen. But I'm going with pale, because it continues.

Their second conversation together is really interesting - not only has Cronus stopped redflirting with her, but he no longer even seems interested. Compare this to the section with Mituna above:

CRONUS: oh sure. no grub sauce on your hands! MEENAH: wow you did it MEENAH: ampora you totally changed my mind about you lets start makin out immediately  #not CRONUS: just admit it. you havwe it vwithin you to be just as harsh to our behelmeted buddy as i am, if not more

Like, he doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the "let's make out #not". Not even in an indignant "see, you keep playing with my collapsing and expanding bladder based vwascular system" kind of way. Literally just breezes right by it, which says to me that he isn't even really that into her concupiscently.

But more interesting are the actual contents of the conversation. Cronus is the only person on the entire team who's able to make Meenah have misgivings about how awesome the Condy is.

MEENAH: man MEENAH: a girls gotta have fuel for her pimp ride know what im sayin MEENAH: like MEENAH: i probably took care of him good MEENAH: you know how it is someones gotta take care of the guy anyways MEENAH: and... yeah #38(

This is the first and only time that Meenah even acknowledges that the Condy - herself at her worst - is kind of shitty. This is the first and only time she's ever expressed any emotion for the Condy other than fangirlish admiration or rage against Caluborn for enslaving her. For whatever reason, she actually listens to Cronus when Cronus takes her to task, and he's actually able to make her genuinely reflect on her worst tendencies.

But maybe more damning is the fact that in their first real conversation together for nearly an eon, she almost fixes him:

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now MEENAH: that true CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn. MEENAH: sounds like another desperate cry for attention imo

[...]

CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up.

Cronus's fundamental emotional problem is a sense of purposelesness and ennui. Born into a caste of high privilege, with his identity overshadowed by said position, he's been handed an unpleasant cocktail of entitlement, lack of true emotional support or connection, and lack of a real, authentic personal identity - especially because the thing he DID seem to derive a sense of identity and purpose from - his little Harry Potter wizard backstory - was driven out of him. In other words, he's kind of a shitty rich kid that doesn't really know who he is outside of that, and his humankin stuff is an attempt to fill the wizard hole without addressing his real underlying issues. It's a Bad Thing for him to be doing, and something he should drop in order to start addressing his genuine insecurities, feelings of emptiness, and lack of identity or purpose. In other words, it's harm he's performing on himself, and a single conversation with Meenah being enough to make him reconsider it? Hmmmmmm.

In fact, I'm not the only one picking up on the pale vibes. The specific way that Kankri interrupts the two reads as incredibly pick-me in pale:

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with.

[...]

I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem.

"Don't take Meenah's advice about your problems! Take mine instead, I care about you sooo much more than she does!" lol. I have a whole essay on how Kankri and Cronus are actually super toxic for each other, in an interesting foil to Karkat and Eridan, which I'll link here in a bit (I'm on mobile RN and it's hard enough C/Ping my sources).

In any case, Kankri slides in at exactly the moment where Meenah's about to fix Cronus, and proceeds to make Cronus worse. The details are in the Cronus and Kankri essay, but TL;DR it's kind of implied that Kankri is the one who talked Cronus out of the wizard stuff in the first place, which pretty much disqualifies the two's relationship from pale, given how harmful that was. This whole thing is pretty reminiscent of Gamzee coming between Karkat and Eridan when Eridan is trying to comfort Karkat about Sollux dying, because it's implied Gamzee has a palecrush on the guy. That might be subjective, though.

What isn't subjective is the fact that Meenah unironically defends Cronus's wizard beliefs when Aranea starts shitting on them.

ARANEA: Whatever the case, it was pro8a8ly for the 8est, since pretty much everyone who had half a think pan thought [Cronus's wizard beliefs were] all a 8unch of ridiculous nonsense. MEENAH: serket why do you got to hate on other peoples religions MEENAH: dont you kno they just as much a load of crackpotty bunk as all your spiritual bullfuck ARANEA: 8ut I........ ARANEA: Yes, I guess I was out of line.

She doesn't do this for anybody else. Not long after, it turns out she's absolutely joking about defending Kurloz:

MEENAH: wow serket MEENAH: just wow so rude MEENAH: poor clown ARANEA: Don't give me that! I seem to remem8er you having more than a few unkind words for him 8ehind his 8ack. MEENAH: yeah im messin witchu he sux

And even proceeds to shit on HIS spiritual bullfuck:

MEENAH: )(ONK ARANEA: Honk honk! ::::) MEENAH: lol im glad we can both agree that clowny fuckin soda cult is the dumbest shit ever

So... weird, huh? Seems like she gives Cronus special treatment for some reason.

That's it for the diegetic stuff to go over, which, yes, means that there's a bit of non-diegetic stuff to discuss. It's not much, but here's Hussie's commentary from the Act 5 Act 2 book, on Mindfang's journal entries about Dualscar leading up to the 3x showdown (emphasis mine):

In the end, even though violets are the ruling class, she doesn't care much about them either. All she cares about is keeping her stranglehold on power with this complex, staggered, oppression-based sort of pyramid scheme. Note how it says the Condesce doesn't even know who Dualscar is. That's how insignificant he is, ultimately. Similarly, all Eridan was to Feferi after a while was a tiresome pest. The way that situation played out could also be seen as long-delayed karmic backlash for Dualscar's irrelevance to her, at least from a very Amporan point of view.

Now, while the specific context here is about how, from the point of view of a shitty entitled guy, Eridan killing Feferi is kind of a retribution for the Condy not giving a shit about Dualscar, all of Hussie's commentary is meant to be interrogated just as much as the base text, and it just makes me wonder. The dancestors very much treat their Alternian counterparts as alternate versions of themselves, consistent throughout their interactions, meaning we ought to consider Duascar and the Condesce to be versions of Cronus and Meenah.

If it is, in fact, the case that Cronus and Meenah would've made for excellent, harm-reducing moirails for each other, then murderstuck being a karmic backlash for their ultimate irrelevance to each other takes on a much greater implication - one that traces back to Cronus's classpect.

Bards start off massive karmic chain reactions, resulting in improbable victory or abject defeat, sometimes both; Hope is an aspect whose main application is making fake things real.

So I'm not saying that Cronus believing that an evil wizard attacked him when he was younger but was inadvertently sealed away and that Cronus was therefore karmically destined to defeat this wizard, but then having his beliefs shattered halfway through, led to him karmically contributing to the eventual creation of LE via his Hope abilities "inviting destruction" by making only the first half of his fake prophecy true, but - oh, no, wait, I am saying that. Man, that really sucks for everybody. If only Cronus had a friend who was, for whatever reason, willing to stick up for his dumbass wizard faith.

If only.

[cairos-wing]

You know what I realised today that I really like about JRWI:R? Jay is their Main Woman and yet any of the like, questionable horny bits are nearly ALWAYS a Chip or a Gill thing. The tit flashing in the mooner temple? Gill. Nearly being mounted by a Shark-Bear via being seductive? Chip. Getting restrained and wrapped up in chains? Chip. Grizz even specifically said to Jay/Condi at the mooner temple “god no I’m not gonna make you expose your breasts” as if the idea was just,,, unheard of. Every sexualization in this damn series is just, Gill or Chip and it’s both lovely to see and also So Fucking Funny to me. It could be so easy and instead we get Gillion in 10 inch heels in Noctis. Best series EVER. Chip is the fanservice character fr fr

Edit: GUYS I WAS REWATCHING FOR FIC PURPOSES I FORGOT THAT THEY MENTIONED CHIP GETTING PREGNANT AND THEN ALSO RECOILING AT THE IDEA OF THAT HAPPENING TO JAY THESE ARE MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE

[huevobuevo]

I CANT FUCKING SLEEP SO IMMA JUST POST THE SCU COUNCIL DRAWINGS AND HOPE TO THE GODS IT LETS ME REST.

Erm I really like pantheons and shit so uh. I made lore

Essentially each council member are gods similar to the Aspects from APOTHEOSIS, except instead of aspects of humanity they’re aspects of the universe. They each are gods of their respective campaign-worlds, the other council members can only interact with them through the creation of their player characters. I made three designs for these fuckers- their initial godhood form during the Hardest Difficulty Video, their present forms after their respective churches & worlds have been established, & their Higher Divine Form that’s basically just their fursonas (except Slimecicle since he’s just like. A Slime Hybrid already so now he’s just Cooler Magical Slime Guy yipey!)

Much like the aspects, the Council Members are referred to by their domains instead of their original names. In the case of Condi he has a secondary name, Yonder; in the case of Charlie, he can be referred to by either Fortune or Misery- more on that in a bit

the gribble -> Bloom

🍃bro is in charge of the biomes of the Overworld, including the tools and weapons that are crafted using its resources

🍃Bloom is ONLY in charge of the Flora, NOT the Fauna. The creatures of the Overworld are owned by Evolution

🍃weather phenomenon and natural disasters are also his strong suit

🍃MYTH TIME!!! Bloom hasn’t learned to change into his Higher Divine form until after his first Fall, thus his bright red and black wings were never appreciated. After he arose again, the ash of the Nether stained his wings and hair, turning them a deep grey. Many birds of the Overworld had grieved his loss, so after his return most of them had rolled in the ashes that fell from his skin in tribute- thus the Grey Parrot was born.

🍃he grew an affinity for the sea after the creation of his first universe (Mana; Riptide), thus a majority of his time is spent in the Overworlds ocean, where his presence is spotted through the whirling winds of a hurricane.

Condifiction. -> Yonder

🔥god of the Beyond- any of the upper and lower realms in any universe belongs to him, including;

🔥The Nether

🔥The End

🔥The Spirit World (prime defenders)

🔥The Chaos Zone (prime defenders)

🔥The Faewilds (riptide)

🔥The Celestial Plane (apotheosis)

🔥The Land Between Time (prime defenders)

🔥Yonder is also in charge of all the interdimensional creatures and entities that live in these domains. Potions are.. also technically his deal since to make them one must acquire interdimensional items such as blaze powder

🔥the boundaries between worlds and the magic to traverse them also fall under his rule

🔥Yonder has a spear called the Aether Piercer, a blade strong enough to even cut through the fabric of reality. It is the strongest weapon in the entire multiverse, and the boys use it for their “dnd campaigns”

🔥he is also called the Quartz Dragon

🔥 FUN FACT! He actually has TWO outfits- the Nether Regalia & The End Regalia. However my stupid ass drew the End one first despite the fact that the Nether outfit is his main one (molten lava dress and cape with deep reds and brilliant whites & gold). That’s why the end suit doesn’t really match his dragon form, but I ran out of time so I couldn’t draw it out. Also im never gonna use these designs most likely so honestly it doesn’t matter but STILL FUCJ IM SORRY :[

the bibbl -> Evolution

📡ok this one was hard to figure out but bear with me

📡Evolution is the protector of all living creatures and time- he can see the past, present, & future, and is in charge of the development of every single organism that can breathe. Humans, especially fall under his command.

📡Evolution is also the patron of technology, society, and history

📡he can personally control how mobs & humans evolve and adapt

📡his higher divine form is usually a strange gryphon like creature, but he can just about change into whatever form he desires. He is the only God who can truly shapeshift with no limitations- Yonder & Bloom only have their Higher Divine Form, while F&M is still pretty visibly Slime no matter what form he takes. Speaking of

the slible-> Fortune/Misery

🎰the god of many things, but can all be simplified into one word- Luck. Everything has a risk, and F&M can make it happen

🎰gambling, yes, is a part of his domain, as it involves a risk of either a win or a loss

🎰destiny & fate are intertwined with his powers, due to how extremely fluid they may be

🎰harvest & agriculture TECHNICALLY are his thang as well, since he’s not really in charge of the PLANTS per say but rather the possibility of either a plentiful harvest OR a miserable famine

🎰F&M have two different names for two different occasions- Fortune, for instances of prosperity, & Misery, for instances of disparity.

🎰he is also called The Great Gambler, Magician Of Chance, He Who Reaps, The Debt Collector, The Slime Lich, and The Nightmare King

🎰he’s like a Lich but not dead lol. More on that later

[ FORTUNE ]

🎰wealth

🎰dreams

🎰arcane wisdom and enchantments

🎰skills in crafting and smelting

[ MISERY ]

🎰nightmares

🎰plague

🎰curses

🎰loss of control

🎰debt

🎰punishment and penance

🎰yeah so haha if someone has cheated and exploited their way to fortune then Misery with a capital M comes down and basically sucks their life force out and turns them into goo, which is what he uses to sustain himself like a Lich. Luckily for him, greedy men spawn like rabbits

Some extra notes for the council in general plus some insight in how their religions work

☀️Yonder and Bloom are both patrons of Travelleds, Adventurers, and All Who Voyage On. However, Bloom offers protection from the world itself such as wild animals and weather phenomenon , while Yonder helps ease the passage itself. Basically Bloom helps people not die in a storm while Yonder focuses on getting to the destination in the first place I.e. not getting lost in the fucking woods

☀️Evolution y F&M are conceptual gods while Bloom y Yonder are more physical. Bloom y Yonder are everywhere, omniscient and omnipresent, encapsulating the world around us- meanwhile Evolution and D&M control the hidden sacred systems of the world such as time and luck/magic

☀️Evolution and F&M have highly selective religious followings, only specific followers are trained and perfected to wield the power of their gods domains. In the same vein, Evilution and F&M have two symbols- one for prayer and one for summoning. Unlike the other two gods who just have one for both of these purposes, the powers of time and chance are far too chaotic in nature to be possessed by many. Instead of being able to talk to plants and go to a funny new world, the highest followers of the Conceptual Gods can literally harness time itself and perform the Ultimate Spells that could level cities- thus not only are these followers specially picked and trained, but in Eder to actually USE them they must first reviver a blessing by their respective gods which requires a summoning. This requires their summoning sigil which not only requires EXTREMELY rare items BUT are also forbidden without express permission from elders. The summoning sigils are kept secret, sharing the sigil to others is punishable by death. The symbol for prayer is used to just represent the Concptual Gods following, much like the symbols for the other gods are used to represent them as well. the Pjysicak Gods need no summoning since they’re technically all around us soooo-

☀️slimecicle, bizly, and grizzly haveANOTHER outfit for their other campaigns (blood in the bayou, wonderlust, and total monster kill) BUT once again I had No More time Left so I sorta just Didn’t draw them my bad homeboy

This took an hour to type out dear god im exhausted

[avephelis]

by the way i just saw the new condi campaign i can't believe we finally have canonically fat pc this is so awesome. he could be a beautiful bear he could be a beautiful butch love and light in the world.

[blueishspace]

Here is a Minecraft deities/entities list I have created for myself but that I tought might help out others so I am putting it here... It's a mix canon headcanons, theories and interpretations so everyone is free to disagree with stuff, also keep in mind I am not into all these series so I am not an expert and a lot of these was made through research.

Creation deities and fundamental concepts of the universe:

Mojang/Minecraft/Microsoft - triple faced embodyiment of existance.

Hatsume Miku - canon creator of Minecraft apparently.

Clara - goddess of space.

Wendarr The Timekeeper - god of time.

Sad ist - goddess of lore (not canon but I find it funny so I am keeping it here).

Joehills - as Joehills, also a Joehills.

Molympus Slimecicle - God of magic, enchanting and crafting.

Molympus Condi - god of dimensions.

Light associated deities:

Jeb - creator and god of colours, probably inventor of light.

Aeor - reindeer deity of light and good.

BdoubleO - as god of the sun, possibly a god of rulers (he is the kingmaker after all).

Darkness associated deities:

Exor - god of darkness and evil.

The World Historian - god of the void.

Null - god of emptyness, the lack of existance.

Life/nature/earth deities:

Prime - goddess of Life and possibly Fortune.

Velara The Benevolent - goddess of health, healing, regeneration, possibly growth.

PearleascentMoon/Santa Perla - goddess of agricolture and fertility, possibly goddess of the moon. (Agricultural cycles used to be measured using the moon cycle in the past so not too unlikely).

The Goat goddess (the perimeter one)- mostly a goddess of redstone but also goddess of tomatoes and fertility.

Molympus Grizzly - god of nature and tools.

Molympus Blitzy - god of mobs and animals.

Death/rebirth gods and entities:

Kristin - goddess of death and depending on interpretation the afterlife.

PhilZa - The angel of death.

Foolish - as the totem god of undying, is also a sky god and a sea god.

Lady Irene - I am not sure exactly about her domain but I am putting her here because it fits the themes.

Shad the destroyer - could have put him with the chaos gods but this feels like a better placement.

XD - as the god of Limbo, is also the main dsmp god and possibly a god of dreams.

Chaos gods:

Dianite - god of chaos and the Nether, also a god of trade and thievery.

Entity 404 - entity of pandemonium, somewhere between god and demon.

The blood god - pretty self explanatory.

Idona the malevolent - goddess of conflict and war or murder(?). Possibly a goddess of retribution like Nemesis in greek mythology.

Drista - goddess of mischief, pranks and levity (I think?).

The egg - who tought to create a sentient parasitic red egg is either a genius or insane lmao.

Herobrine - as creator/entity/deity of monsters, also possibly a god of mist.

Sky and water deities:

Jimmy - as demigod of rivers, possibly also a Listener.

Axolotl Lizzy - demigoddess of the ocean.

S2 Joel - god of the sky.

The Sky Gods (Wilbur Soot random items videos)

Foolish - as a sea and a sky god, also totem god of undying.

Herobrine - as possibly the god of mist, also creator/entity/deity of monsters.

Order gods:

Mianite - god of order, law and the Overworld.

BdoubleO - as possibly the god of rulership, also sun god.

Cucurucho - as rule enforcer entity...thing, also Qsmp entity.

Neutral gods and entities:

Ianite: Goddess of balance and the end.

Gray forester: Grayscale entity.

Tenos The Omniscient- god of experience, knowledge and wisdom.

Eldritch gods:

Grian - Watcher.

Martyn - Listener.

Jimmy - as possibly a Listener, also a demigod of rivers.

Joehills - as Joehills, also a Joehills.

Server gods and entities:

XD - as main god of the dsmp, also god of Limbo and possibly a god of dreams.

Callahan - minor dsmp deity.

Tubbo - main god of the Bear smp.

Cucurucho and Other Qsmp entities.

[saltielena]

it will never not amaze me how the jrwi boys play WILDLY different characters in each campaign

like charlie plays a paladin fish who is overconfident and easily gullible, but atthe same time he plays a pathetic teenage boy who despite being tired of being the smart one— would fucking die for his friends. and ontop of that he played a fucked up Guy who wouldve gotten shoved in lockers in highschool who has a lizard and a Posession.

do not get me started on bizly playing a tricky and charismatic bastard with a haunting past and a neverending bond with two people he met under Strange circumstances, while playing a robotic and gory tortured suit of armor who will kill anything in his path. and he plays a stoner who would shit his pants if he saw a fucking bear!

and condi?? plays a literal girlboss with so much damn respect for the world and nature around her while still being a badass with a fucking GUN. he plays a confused teenage elf boy who is a rebellious genuine murderer. he played a god damn pushover lawyer who KICKS ASS and gets high off shiitake mushrooms.

grizzly. oh my God grizzlyplays. he plays a mysteriously charming bard with an aspiration to only make the world fair through theft. he plays a stoner prettyboy bisexual rockstar with a terrifying calmness to him as he watches birds splatter on his car. he plays a god damn rambunctious undiagnosed autistic teenager with an insatiable appetite who refuses to kill and stands by it.

thats. insane to me? and the npcs these guys make, oh my god. i am literally in love with most of the prime defenders npcs (come on. lightspeed? how do you not love her) and every god damn riptide npc has more personality and life than i could even muster. blood in the bayou? more like! holy fuck! rat! my boy! becky jrwi! kisses her! and ill god damn say it worm boy from apotheosis deserves more

in short: pretzel jrwi is the greatest being

[system-architect]

ok here's my collected JW thoughts in general. obviously this is spoilers

OK.................................... so i think anet is Back. its not quite "we are SO back" levels but it COULD be "we are SO back" levels depending on what they do in the next installment

they did good, though, and i think the most obvious jump in quality is actually in the maps themselves. they feel so much better than soto maps just to run around in and explore. theres a LOT more detail and they actually feel pretty intriguing and immersive with a lot of fun easter eggs and surprises!

the story didnt always hit for me but it was still overall Better than soto. the first instance alone grabbed me more than all of soto had tbh. the bears don't personally interest me but the mursaat do, and we're getting somewhere with all the bloodstone and titan stuff

i DO enjoy the angle of the commander starting to go kind of lie-lie man acting in personal interests. isgarren is a bitch but we can also be rude to waiting sorrow for no reason oops sorry nice again haha oh man how'd this bear teleport here that's craaazy.. there were points at which i actively lost track of who we had lied to about what and when, and while the confusion grated me a bit it was also funny in a way? like yeah if i was the commander i'd lose track of this shit too right

the commander doesn't have much of a personality technically, beyond "person who does good(TM) things", and what we make of our canon commander's personality is mostly just our own notions and conceptions and interpretations being placed on them, BUT that said it felt like the story did take the commander in some interesting directions for me.

i felt like i got the sense that the commander really is sort of a "free agent" now, which is fun. when you've already killed all the dragons and your life's purpose is TECHNICALLLLYYY over but you're still around and you're still many things to many people, what do you do with your life? this, apparently.

i like us being kind of a mirror of isgarren in the sense that the comm is an ultra powerful guy, with a lot of worldly+scholarly experience at this point, who a lot of other very powerful figures respect and Need, but that not everyone necessarily Likes. yeah this is our free-range deployable killing machine politician who's kind of strange interpersonally.

my favorite instance in the whole story was the one with the bloodstone ghosts btw. i thought they did a really good job imbuing each with a fair amount of personality and showcasing a wide array of perspectives on what happened in gavril-- a thing which i was prepared to not be particularly interested in tbh, and yet...

ALSO, the voice actor for the gavril citizen ghost was SUPER good! i'm pretty sure they were a new VA but i'd really love to hear more voicework from them. in general i felt a lot of the VA work in this xpac banged-- it feels like they got a decent amount of new/fresh talent?? it's been nice, i hadn't realized how stale the world was starting to feel only hearing the same 3-5 voices constantly (no shade towards the longer-standing VAs who DO do a good job, i just wished for more variety)

REALLY liking the amount of unique voice lines and racial dialogue also

features wise its also been pretty good! i like the repeat renown heart thing plus the return of the hearts. as a revenant with a condi set i cant say ive got any issues with the spears LOL. and warclaw is super fun once you get the hang of it-- i like that it has a learning curve and some nuance like most older mounts do, as opposed to skyscale's fairly 'flat' mobility. have NOT really tried out decorating my homestead yet and ive heard mixed opinions on it, so we'll see how i feel there!

[the0retically]

I started fated last night after putting it off for so long and I don’t know why I did? Like the episodes aren’t that long (definitely shorter than the suckening), the characters are compelling already, you get them just starting out, bizly has no clue what’s going on at any given point and will not speak in a character voice, Charlie and Condi play brothers who haven’t seen each other in a year and sylnan is so confused at why br’aad is so eccentric now, velrisa has truly just been dragged along with these strangers, despite how many times taxi says his name br’aad still won’t say it correctly and yet they’re all helping him with his mission right now, br’aad was a stowaway and hid in a crate and tried to sneak to the top deck and everyone saw him and just ignored him, br’aad is supposed to be charismatic but Charlie cannot be normal for 2 seconds to make that happen, mountain set up a bear trap to hurt them because they stole his money, you get “nice forearms and nicer staff, what’s your name!” Absolutely chaotic but so fun already

[captainschaos]

< CAPTAIN'S SLIMECICLE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE TIMELINE >

It's here!!! This is it!!!!! well okay tbh it's still very rough, there's a lot of detailwork that is kind of loose and stuff I'm still theorizing/thinking about, but this is the big look! I also cut down on a lot of the stuff about characters to focus on the timeline itself, so I might make a follow-up post with that stuff because ily council. But this is my interpretation of the scu timeline! I know there's a lot of malleability when it comes to the scu, but even within that there's certain parts I kinda took and ran a bit far with, so hopefully it all makes sense. The line between interpretation of canon and creation of headcanon is thin. Also, since my timeline isn't actually a line, it'd be a bit hard to watch along with, but I'll link the playlist of my personal preferred viewing order anyway HERE! And without further ado, here's my timeline :]

[Long post below the cut- enjoy!]

The Slimecicle Cinematic Universe follows the path of Slimecicle, one of many players who wish to achieve god-power. Players are able to travel between realms with ease, but altering those realms? That takes a considerable amount of power. However, this is not unachievable, and Charlie is one among a group of players attempting to become godlings.

VOCAB I USE: 

Godling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for creation.

Demonling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for destruction. 

Realm: What we would think of a minecraft world, a separate place that players travel to when they find new places. 

World: Within a realm, it is the earthen spirit itself. More abstract, but a powerful force to be interacted with, and has some semblance of life, magic, and almost sentience itself. 

Dimension: The Overworld, Nether, and End are different dimensions. 

Player: a person who largely interacts with realms, able to move between many, and able to become a godling if powerful enough.

Wild spirit: a spirit somewhere between a person and a beast, connected to the world as opposed to the way players can interact with realms. While both players and wild spirits can be connected to mobs, the connection is generally stronger and more widespread for wild spirits. 

God-power: Expressed by things like creative mode, op, and VR, powers that can alter realms and enforce some kind of control over players within them. 

Plight: What happens to a godling when they are forced to die without respawning or in an otherwise more permanent/impactful way, an effect other than a mortal death. Can be broken out of, but is incredibly difficult, and can have lingering effects unless truly ended. 

< PRIMARY CHARACTERS >

Charlie “Slime” Slimecicle:

Godling of food, enchanting, crafting, and smelting

Plight: DEATH (if worn down enough, he will not suffer a normal plight as other godlings would, but would become mortal and truly die)

Middle child

A shapeshifter by nature of being a slime, and his natural adaptability seems to be related to his proficiency with god-power. 

“Condi” Condifiction: 

Godling of other dimensions

Plight: caged (trapped in a location/pocket dimension of his own, and more importantly, trapped in his own mind in a whirl of penned-up hyperactivity that brings insanity)

Eldest

Condi, Charlie, and Grizz don’t remember if they’re biological brothers or not, but they grew up together, and Condi was always the most adept, the “alchemist assassin,” who kept them safe. 

Grizzly(plays): 

Godling of nature, weapons, and tools

Plight: shackled (forced to comply to the orders of the being that killed him, though it may appear as if he has respawned as normal. Can also more generally inhibit his ability to use his own power as he wishes)

Youngest (twin with Bizly)

Has gained animalistic traits from swapping power with Bizly, mainly vaguely bear/doggish. Since meeting they called themselves twins, and through this exchange have no reason to say they do not fit the word. 

Bizly(channel): 

Godling of mobs

Youngest (twin with Grizzly)

Plight: muzzled (at the most extreme is forced to disappear completely, being entirely unable to be heard or perceived by anyone. Can also more generally cause his words to lose meaning, and it is supernaturally difficult for him to be taken seriously or listened to.)

The only member of the Council who did not grow up with the group: he was a wild spirit (wolven) that was discovered by Grizzly, and slowly honed shapeshifting powers and traded bits of magic with Grizz to walk with players. 

(J)Schlatt: 

Demonling of food and nature

Grew personally slighted by Charlie and the Council, and eventually trapped them in a separate timeline of his own creation to attempt to kill Charlie. 

< TIMELINE OVERVIEW >

Begins with IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES

The VR SERIES (videos marked with vr.) and CHARLIE’S ESCAPADES (videos marked with esc.) then happen at the same time, with the final video of the VR Series being when Schlatt’s timeline is created.

Charlie's escapades then repeat in Schlatt’s timeline, followed by NATURAL DISASTERS, HARDEST DIFFICULTY, and 100 DAYS. 

At the end of 100 Days Condi activates the time loop, which he cannot use to break out of Schlatt’s timeline but he can use to bring everyone back to the beginning of it.

CHARLIE’S DREAMSCAPE ESCAPADES (videos marked with drm.) take place in the haze between his death at the end of 100 Days and him fully being transported by Condi to the beginning of the time loop.

< THE TIMELINE >

MINECRAFT, BUT IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES: 

The conflict between Charlie and Schlatt begins here. Charlie is a trickster spirit at heart, and it is consistently seen to overlap with his joy in experimentation and creation, leading his pursuit for godly power.

This is one of the first places Charlie goes to try and hold his own among others who are growing in power like he aims to, and he at first struggles, as seen in how he fails to survive for long. However, he quickly makes use of this mechanic in his own way, and uses the forced respawns to tease the others. When Schlatt joins, this is especially targeted at him, to his infuriation. 

Schlatt goes to Carson, who appears to be the leading godling of this realm, to ask for Slime’s removal, but he says that “I’m not sure that I can really do that.” This hints to some sort of power Charlie has that is potentially greater than even Carson and Schlatt, the most powerful entities there. In the same conversation it’s said that Schlatt is a broken record, hinting that he has trouble often with wanting to control others and remove them if they bother him. 

This showcases the conflict of the whole series: The rising godling Charlie Slimecicle threatening the power of the demonling Schlatt. 

MINECRAFT IN VR IS ABSOLUTELY TRAUMATIZING (vr.): 

Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others begin working in a realm where they start experimenting with more control over their world, specifically by exerting control over themselves and their physicality in the plane (expressed through vr use). 

Narwhal is notably present from the very beginning, as a figure of power among the group, and Wheatie is also a member from the start. 

The excursion near the end of the video to the Nether is most notable as it is recalled in a flashback during the 100 Hunters video, specifically when Condi falls into the lava while bridging. 

MINECRAFT IN VR WILL HURT YOU IN NEW WAYS (vr.): 

Notably Schlatt joins this world, and it’s clear Charlie has a slight position of power over him in this place, and it makes him uncomfortable. 

Bizly also enters the scene in this video, first in a beastly purple and gold skin, then mimicking Herobrine, slowly changing from a more beastly form to that of a player. He was a wolven wild spirit found by Grizzly, and as he gave some of his power to Grizzly to assist his path toward godhood, he gained power from Grizzly that helped him act as a player. 

At the end of this video, Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others all partake in first a spleefing tournament, then a “gladiatorial bloodbath” which Charlie wins. Bizly watches this battle, and Narwhal and Wheatie both appear to have been utilizing god-power (creative mode) to create the arena, pouring power into it that Charlie proves himself best suited for. This is another of the beginning signs that he excels in this power.

Schlatt is not present for these later events.

I INVITED YOUTUBERS TO PLAY MINECRAFT VR AND THIS HAPPENED (vr.): 

The rest of the council is not present, but Schlatt and other figures on the server are. 

This video is largely just an example of Schlatt attempting to show he’s more powerful than Charlie, and Charlie continuing to fuck with Schlatt and generally make things worse. 

Poppies make an appearance in the video, as an attempted and rejected peace offering from Charlie to Schlatt. 

MINECRAFT VR HAS DRIVEN MY SOUL FROM MY BODY (vr.): 

The video immediately starts off with Charlie and Travis claiming that Schlatt seems upset, while he vehemently denies it. 

Schlatt also seems to be using the same kind of worldbending power Charlie has been utilizing in this video (VR), potentially as yet another way to try and maintain power over him. However, Charlie continues to prove he has greater knowledge and control over this power, and then Schlatt injures himself while utilizing the physicality-altering power, and this pushes Schlatt over the edge. 

Schlatt gives an apple to Travis, taking control of him, though the power of the fruit isn’t known to anyone but the goat demonling yet. Travis begins to follow Schlatt and work with him to attempt to capture Charlie and then kill and cast a spell on him. It is with the symbolic death in the grave that Schlatt manages to latch onto Charlie’s spirit and begin creating a separate timeline in which he has control over Slime and the Council. 

The rest of the video is a semi-hallucinogenic experience Charlie has as the spell is cast and he, along with his friends, are trapped in Schlatt’s timeline. 

Travis is killed, and with this lifeforce and the ritual he enacts over Charlie, Schlatt puts his foot in the door to start working toward making Charlie mortal, and finally get back at him for the ways he’s taunted him.

ROLL (esc.): 

Narwhal is given power in a realm of Charlie’s, a compromise to utilize Narwhal’s power and allow Charlie to attempt to expand his own. This was an idea proposed to Narwhal by Charlie not long after the creation of the VR realm, as Charlie started to come into his own in that kind of power and became more and more excited about the possibilities. 

Flowers make an appearance as a protective entity. 

During this video a site reminiscent of Molympus is also created, as an island floating above the land is created by the die. 

Near the end of the video the die is dropped by Narwhal and Charlie gains control of it, and more of Narwhal’s power is passed to him. He is immediately able to use its power far more rapidly than Narwhal, and the world is destroyed by their battle. In the destructive blast, Condi, Bizly, and Grizzly are able to escape with the more powerful Charlie, but the weakened Narwhal and Wheatie fail to escape, and are destroyed, their power shattering and being absorbed by the newest godlings, the Council. 

MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S PAY-TO-WIN (OR LOSE) (esc.): 

After the blast, Charlie blames himself for Narwhal and Wheatie’s deaths, so he sets out to experiment with his newfound power on his own. 

This is the most raw of Narwhal’s remaining chance power, which Charlie begins to learn to harness by not being able to control exactly what it does, but by being able to shift how likely each effect may be (changing prices).

MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY BLOCK FIGHTS BACK (esc.):

Condi and Grizzly, concerned for Charlie, ask him to let them help with his experimentation, and suggest they ask Schlatt to come into the equation as another power on par with Narwhal to help. However, they decide that all will be on equal grounds to hope to preserve everyone equally, so Schlatt is not put in godly status. Bizly is missing from this video, having been pushed to the side by Schlatt, unbeknownst to the others. 

Charlie is the only one with god-power (op) to begin with, but he is walked through much of it by Schlatt.

Grizzly is at one point cornered by Schlatt, and threatened with an apple. Grizzly would have no way of knowing of the fruit’s power, and yet he immediately recognizes it and reacts with intense fear. This is some of the strongest evidence for a time loop, with residual memories that would allow Grizzly, the most affected by Schlatt’s use of apples, to remember it when face-to-face with it. It is also important to note that while Charlie does not seem to remember as much as Grizz, he is the one to send Schlatt away by overpowering him with more apples. 

After this, Charlie says he has given god-power in the realm to all members (op), which Schlatt immediately makes use of to try and seize power. 

After this the whole group slowly devolves into using their power more and more. It’s clear Condi, Grizzly, and Charlie have become just as adept at it as Schlatt, using it for jokes and cheats. 

MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S WAY MORE TRAUMATIZING (esc.): 

After the last escapade, Condi and Grizzly suggest they go to their own realm without Schlatt, and Charlie agrees. Because they do not have quite as much control the world becomes far more dangerous. 

This also could be the way they searched for Bizly after he had been missing for some time, as he is more beastlike in origin. This world may even be his creation, not Slime’s, which would further cement why they did not utilize creative god-powers. 

This video also showcases the tendency Charlie and Grizzly are characterized by in wanting to find ways to live amongst the challenges that face them, not necessarily fight to escape. They are far more inclined than Condi to settle in their tower and hunker down there and learn to live with the dangers around them, which is an attitude they continue to showcase in how they handle the timeloop. 

MINECRAFT, BUT 100 PLAYERS ARE HUNTING ME (esc.): 

Bizly has returned to the group, and goes along with Condi and Charlie for the next of Charlie’s exercises in his power. 

This is another example of Charlie’s experimentation with randomized power, as a bunch of random people are spawned in and create entropy in their path. 

Halfway through the video, after all three of them have died, Charlie resorts to using his god-powers, but it is too explosive and causes the world to crash. He shows his growth by reining in it quickly though. 

There is an explicit flashback to the escapade to the nether in the VR series, when Condi fell before. This time, he does not fall. 

Thatoneperson is an important figure, and is clearly more than just a hunter. They exhibit godlike power that hints at them potentially being Schlatt in disguise. This would be the chance used to muzzle Bizly, when the ordeal with Thatoneperson being killed leads to his being pushed off the fortress, a death that could be latched onto to muzzle him. This takes gradual effect, and he remains for the rest of the video, but is missing from Natural Disaster. 

In the End fight with the dragon, Charlie yet again exhibits god-power to summon every hunter to fight by their side. 

<< THE TIME LOOP BEGINS. >>

Charlie’s escapades all repeat in this timeline but under Schlatt’s watch, no longer as a way for Charlie to grow, but a way to torture the Council and weaken them. 

MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY 5 MINUTES THERE’S A NATURAL DISASTER: 

When Charlie eats the apple early in the video, it accomplishes what Schlatt began doing right before the time loop was created: it makes him mortal. He can now truly, fully be killed, if done in a way powerful enough to stop his respawn. 

Immediately after this Charlie is notably able to give Grizzly an apple as a help, not a hindrance, which could be tied to his emerging domain over food. Grizzly’s domain over nature also begins to emerge as he gives poppies that begin to work as protective symbols. 

Schlatt quickly gets them to build him a church, showing how he’s trapped them in a state they forget their own emerging god-power, and taunts them with the light to the command blocks later, showing the torturous pointlessness of the whole experience. 

Grizz becomes shackled by Schlatt at the final volcano, but Charlie is able to take control of the realm from Schlatt and Grizz is able to break out to an extent. Schlatt does still remain in power over the timeline as a whole though, and retreats to regroup.

THE HARDEST MINECRAFT DIFFICULTY: 

With picking the chests at the start of the video, the Council solidifies their domains of power as godlings. They had already began developing these, but this used some of the last chance magic Charlie had from Narwhal to allow them to concentrate their power into stronger, more specific areas. This whole video is an example of the Council going all out with their powers, and truly testing their limits. 

When the apple is given to Grizzly and he falls, he becomes shackled again. Though Schlatt is not in this world, he is pulling the strings as this happens in his timeline, and so the shackled Grizzly is still forced against his brothers. However, he strains against his restraints, and manages to make the fight fair enough that his brothers can beat him. 

The wolves were supposed to just be a joke. A joke between twins. Bizly’s wolfish, he wouldn’t really hurt them. If Condi hadn’t spawned them in the nether, it would have just been an illusion, a prank. It was just bad luck. “I may have been the boy who cried for the wolves, but I will not cry for you.” When shackled, and with Bizly muzzled, Grizz forgets that Bizly was the dearest wolf he cried for. 

In Grizzly’s last moments, Bizly, who had been fighting against his own plight for a while now, sees that Grizzly’s being controlled by his own and he can either be shackled in the mind as his body fights his family, or he can be shackled fully as a ghost that cannot act against them. In saving Grizzly, Bizly has to kill him to turn the shackles to a kind Grizzly can fight out of. He barely manages to reach through enough to help them get to the end, but his shackling means he cannot be in the world with them, and even that small effort to help them doesn’t have any real use.

WE SPENT 100 DAYS IN HARDCORE MINECRAFT: 

Charlie has forgotten everything. After Hardest Difficulty, the Council continued to try and live their lives, but in the wake of Grizzly’s absence Condi threw himself into research, locking himself in his labs for long stints of time, feeling something was off about Grizz’s “death.” He was eventually caged there, and Bizly faded further under his muzzling as Schlatt used this opportunity to take them all away from Charlie. 

Schlatt then created an environment filled with death: a zombie apocalypse. Natural disasters also, notably, play a large role. This would be the final trial where he wore Charlie down to the point he could kill him.

Each of the Council appears in a diluted way how they can through their plight, and Bizly, having fought his off the longest, is able to work through his in many ways. He appears first out of the Council as Florida Man, accompanied by wild animals that he can interact with as a wild spirit.

Tommy enters, a wild spirit (zombie) who has started to move toward a player form and demonling power very similarly to Bizly. Grizzly ended up trading power with Bizly because they were at similar power levels, but Schlatt is able to give without any side effects because of his immense power, and Tommy comes into power over the 100 days as a demonling under Schlatt.

Charlie finds Condi’s lab where he’s been caged, and reads hints in Condi’s diary that he remembers what was done to Grizzly and is trying to fix it by recreating the world. His caged mind does not recognize Charlie, but Charlie is able to help Condi partially break out of his cage, and he is able to go out into the world though much of the mental caging effects linger. 

“In the new world, Charlie, everyone will be happy. Because I’m going to be a god.” He knows.

Condi is not successful in hopping worlds- he hops times back to the beginning of Schlatt’s timeline. He can’t escape it completely, but can form a time loop so they can try again. It doesn’t seem like it’s worked at first, but it is in the moments between a death and respawn that he can transport them, and so he is able to go back when he “dies.”

The Blood Bachelor’s arena somewhat resembles the arena from the VR series, yet another ritual to whittle down Charlie’s mortality. 

Ranboo is another upcoming godling/wild spirit, this time pulled in by Charlie, talked about more in the section for Beating Minecraft w/ Ranboo. He may have some idea of the fact that the apocalypse was created by Schlatt, twisted to be expressed by his conspiracy. 

Wizzly is the still shackled Grizzly, fighting to regain control of his powers. He has some version of his own knowledge of the timeline as a whole, knowing that Charlie is the “protagonist,” the focus of Schlatt’s attention. 

On day 99, Schlatt comes with apples, his strongest weapon. This is when Charlie starts to remember, and fears him, but the reminder of Bizly and the others pulls him away just before he eats. Bizly, who Charlie can barely remember, but with the knowledge Schlatt forced on him he now realizes has been working to keep him safe even though he’s a faded version of himself. Charlie then goes back, hoping he can bring him back before he’s faded completely, and he’s able to call him and the others for the final battle.

In this fight Tommy is seen wielding god-power, as he has become a demonling over the 100 days.

Charlie uses Condi’s machine to world-hop, and here, in a realm of Condi’s power, Schlatt attempts to finally, fully, kill Charlie. But in the moment where Schlatt kills him and attempts to stop him from respawning, Condi’s power is able to take Charlie not to mortal death, but back to the beginning. They will try again until they are all saved. Until Bizly is unmuzzled, Grizzly unshackled, Condi uncaged, and Charlie survives. 

It is also worth noting that Bizly, Grizzly, and Ranboo were left behind, but at the mention of Charlie, Grizzly summons zombies, saying “let’s do it all again, run it back from the top”, and they are killed too, allowing them to be transported as well as Condi begins the timeloop.

<< THE TIME LOOP IS ENGAGED. >>

BEATING MINECRAFT AS A SLIME (drm.):  I FINALLY BEAT MINECRAFT FOR THE FIRST TIME… (FT. RANBOO) (drm.): 

Both of these videos serve roughly the same purpose, as hallucinations/dreams Charlie experiences between time loops. There are many variations of them, all being very rudimentary ways of him changing a world and seeing how he fares, similar to his original escapades when growing his god-power. He begins to encounter Ranboo, a wild spirit of the place between dimensions (hence the enderman/End and ghast/Nether influences) that manages to interact with these dreams as Charlie moves between dimensions/times, and is eventually pulled into the timeline through Charlie’s power. However, he also begins to move toward godhood as a result of being gifted some of Charlie’s power. 

These are the beginning of Charlie potentially being able to not only alter a realm, but create entire realms of his own.

[sunkillerlovechild]

this might be a bit of a niche crossover, but during my current teen wolf rewatch im noticing a lot of werewolf attacks being blamed on mountain lions and i was reminded of the 'the quarry' stream that ranboo, slime and condi did where everyone keeps saying its a bear and they are absolutely losing their minds over it

[burning-sol]

on a dime thinking about characterstics different pcs tend to share across the players.

charlie: everyone says it and it is so real, religious trauma and imagery cause i mean literally just look at peter and exandroth, gillion's whole deal being the chosen one, william's incredible distress discovering the absence of god. horror but especially body horror cause AGAIN peter and exandroth, gillion's often scary n fishy descriptions, the way charlie describes how ghoulish william looks with william literally decomposing. comically exaggerated personalities with gillion the most hero of heroes he's so hero just look at his titles, peter to be mistaken for a literal doormat, exandroth the fanatical violent all around super evil angelic force, william wisp the freak from deadwood who has ghost powers and was so dedicated to solving mysteries he died that's his thing. might i say they are all quite obsessive, gillion obsesssed with being the chosen, peter obsessed with rocks and lizard, exandroth obsessed with retribution, william obsessed with mysteries, and this can create a strong disconnect with the world around them. of the pcs i would say they are usually the most outcast of outcasts and the most freak of freaks. also autism.

bizly: very straightforward characters with no subversion, what you see is what you get. NORMAL, AVERAGE, UNDERWHELMING, these are terms you can use to describe chip rand AND connor <- also they all have the same brown hair. this makes their badass moments stand out and be triumphant, where would we be without chip's badass sword, rand's badass finale, connor's horrifying but also sort of badass moment with the book, and also thanatos is a compilation of every badass moment bizly could probably ever want. there's always some sort of family issues see chip no family, rand strained relationship with family, connor i think had something going on but i cant remember, thanatos and the holy family. definitely most likely to get into conflict with other pcs might i say, gillion and chip, rolan and rand, rumi and thanatos, that's literally one of every other players' character what can i say.

grizzly: these characters are all struggling to live up to incredibly idealised persona and for the most part end up failing, rumi's persona literally breaking down until they shed it completely to be true to themselves, dakota always trying to be a hero which has worked out so far but we're just waiting for something bad to happen, kian who pretended to make it as a rockstar after most definitely failing, aster is by proxy sort of failing to live up to the perfect persona that is her father. shapeshifters? i mean rumi is a changeling, aster can alter her form, dakota has a feral mode, and kian got bugged so you know (joke). lot of these characters are incredibly gender lets be honest here.

condi: feel an intense pull towards conforming, jay struggling to push against her family, vyncent from another world trying to adjust and appear normal, rolan getting a respected profession, everything with ryan. there is a struggle of identity that is incredibly external, jay as a pirate vs the literal navy, vyncent's repeated experience of sharing a body, rolan being a fucking bug, ryan had a confrontation that was the most direct thing you could bear witness to. the actual perfect balance of two very smart characters and two of the most incredibly stupid characters i have ever seen. honestly very on point about their observations of others and themselves but can find difficulty to express that to other.

and i totally forgot about the prequel pcs but ms g and finn are also autistic, harlem shade definitely has that classic super cool persona also gender, jason king god bless this normal dude dragged into whatever the fuck the other two have going on, arlin is the source of the family issues. i literally am too tired to write anymore so i apologise if i fucked stuff up i cant be bothered anymore send post.

[mistswalker]

Genuine question!! You'd mentioned hating scholar runes and I keep looking for alternatives because they're so UNGODLY expensive (because of how recommended they are for builds). What recommendation would you have for a DPS build instead of Scholars? (@ratasum)

I'm trying to get more into endgame content so I really would love the advice!!

Hey there! I'm happy to help how I can. Unfortunately this is going to be one of those questions that has a longer and more beneficial answer as well as a shorter, more direct but less beneficial answer, so I apologize in advance and thank you for bearing with me lol. The short and direct answer is that there are many instances in which runes of the Eagle, the Pack, Strength, and Rage can perform just as well as Scholar for a fraction of the cost. And even when they don't meet the exact output, whichever one works best for your build will get you pretty darn close. Berserker and Ogre are other very solid DPS runes for condi/power hybrids and power DPS respectively, but they've become frequently recommended alternatives to Scholar and their price has risen nearly as high now.

That said, my longer answer is that there is no general direct substitute rune that will work better for all DPS builds all the time, but this is also part of what is wrong with the way that Scholar runes are ubiquitously recommended on meta build sites.

Every rune in gw2 has a fairly unique set of circumstances in which they function best, just as the different classes and specializations all have different benefits and limitations, and the key to a well optimized (or min-maxed) build is to play into a particular niche of combat as hard as you possibly can. Scholar runes provide a total of 175 power and (now) 225 ferocity in pure stat points, but their main claim to fame is their 6th slot bonus: "Increase strike damage by 5% while your health is above 90%".

For clarity, "strike damage" in gw2 refers specifically to power-based damage or "direct damage". Damage that can critically hit. It does not apply to condition damage. Strike damage is also mitigated by the target's armor and Toughness stat. Condition damage, on the other hand, is not.

Scholar runes became so recommended because of two misguided notions:

That "strike damage" amplifiers increase all outgoing damage dealt by the player, making them the most important "stat" to stack. And,

That the best defense is always killing something dead faster than it can hit you, and that if you ever take damage the answer is always "git gud". (People treating defensive stats as "training wheels" for gaming is certainly not unique to scholar-runes enthusiasts, but nothing displays it quite as potently as tying your stats to how often you can keep your HP at 10k/11k.)

The truth of the matter is that there is no shortcut stat to a solid build in this particular game, and it takes balancing a number of stats and fine-tuning traits and skills to optimize your build.

As an example, I'm going to use this Power Deadeye build copied from a popular raid build website. Full details can be seen at the link, but notably it uses full Berserker armor, Scholar runes, and sigils of Force and Impact. These are the final stats on the Power Deadeye build as given:

This build is noted by its creators as not being beginner friendly, and having a rotation which requires "extreme precision and pristine conditions". I cite this only to better illustrate that this build is intended to be the most optimal thief build for endgame content.

The rotation's main loop is as follows, and the skill screenshots' numbers are based on the attributes of the equipment given assuming the player is above 90% health. It is stated that Malicious Backstab must be used from behind.

This loop provides a maximum total of 15,464 direct damage, plus an additional maximum 5,288 condition damage from one loop. Accounting for the build's perpetual fury bringing critical chance to 99.33%, and the fury-increased critical damage of 270.47%, this increases the total direct damage of this loop to 41,545, and leaves us with a grand total of 46,833 damage per loop. Now, how close can we get to those numbers on that exact rotation without Scholar runes?

For this comparison, I swapped the Scholar runes for Runes of Strength. Also, noting that the Impact sigils were only giving their base 3% strike damage bonus since this build has no stuns or knockbacks to make use of its secondary feature, I exchanged the Sigil of Impact for Sigils of Strength to synergize with the new rune choice. [Rebuild Link] The sigil choice plays on the build's near-100% crit chance by giving a stack of might on each critical hit, and with the runes' increased Might duration, this means you will passively accumulate and maintain 15 stacks of might while in combat. So what do the numbers look like now?

In this version of the loop, we get 16,565 direct damage, and 10,418 bonus condition damage. When we account for critical hit the same way we did before, this amounts to 42,035, giving us a grand total of 52,453 damage dealt per loop. So in this instance, replacing Scholar Runes and Impact Sigils with Strength Runes and Strength Sigils gave this build a DPS increase from the recommended build.

Now, this doesn't mean that every build could be improved by those same changes, but there are often very few changes that would need to be made to adjust a build for the removal of Scholar runes. If nothing else, I hope this helps to illustrate how there is no one-size-fits all answer to runes, let alone to builds as a whole, no matter how popular a specific item is with metagamers.

The key to all builds, DPS or not, is synergy between elements. When equipment, traits, and skills build on each other rather than acting alone, you're going to find way better performance, and usually, have way more fun with your build.

[aliveandfullofjoy]

Yet again, it's time to indulge in one of my favorite new year traditions: my ten favorite new-to-me films of 2023!

This is a wild, wild group of movies, but all of them got under my skin in one way or another and made this year that much brighter. If you like, consider this a strong endorsement for each of them.

Same rules as always: no movies from this past year (2023) or the year prior (2022). Every other year is fair game.

01. Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (dir. Chantal Akerman, 1975; Belgium/France; 202 mins.)

"I often cry when I think of you, Jeanne."

Sight & Sound's newly crowned Greatest Fim of All-Time was one of my first viewing experiences of 2023, and it loomed like a cloud over the rest of my moviegoing year. It was a bit of an ideal viewing experience - my favorite local independent theater had a showing, and the sizable audience was utterly enthralled by it. The massive Jeanne Dielman is a masterpiece in observation and behavior, and its power reveals itself through the way Akerman creates and unravels Jeanne's routine. She turns the lights off in every room she leaves. She replaces the lid of the money jar every single time. She watches her neighbor's baby for a little while in the afternoon. She looks presentable and pristine at all times, including after her sex work. When parts of these routines start shifting - the lid being left off the jar, the lights being left on for a bit too long, tousled hair - it plays like a jump scare. 

I was shocked at how quickly this flew by. By the time the first day ended, I glanced at the time out of curiosity and was surprised to see it had already been an hour. Jeanne Dielman is a film that is frequently called "boring," which is both fair and entirely the point. It's still utterly mesmerizing within that boredom. This is thanks in large part to Delphine Seyrig's performance. With her hypernaturalistic stillness, Seyrig reaches rare levels of unaffected authenticity. Jeanne doesn't really feel like a character at all -- even with as little as we truly know about her, she feels like a human being.

Essential viewing. Long live the queen.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel and Max.

02. The Ascent (dir. Larisa Shepitko, 1977; Soviet Union; 111 mins.)

"Thanks for not leaving me. With company, it's... Okay, let's move on."

My final film in my 52 Films by Women challenge from a few years ago (shut up), Larisa Shepitko's The Ascent must be one of the greatest war movies ever made. Admittedly, it's not a genre I'm often drawn to, but Shepitko instills this film with an emotional power that becomes almost too much to bear.

Every act of cruelty, every gun fired, every open wound, is accompanied by a visceral pain. The way Shepitko uses the natural world as a stage for this story is astonishing - the vast snowy expanse of an unforgiving Russian winter, the rows of trees. Each of her actors manages to convey so much with their faces, too, especially the devastatingly good Lyudmila Polyakova, but the heart of the film is in the work of the two leads. Boris Plotnikov and Vladimir Gostyukhin work beautifully as a pair and as individuals. Shepitko masterfully traces the arc of their relationship against the backdrop of the war, and the end result is absolutely shattering.

The Ascent was, tragically, Shepitko's final film before she died in a car accident. It was my introduction to her as a filmmaker. I hope I can catch up with some of her earlier work, but The Ascent on its own is proof that she was a generational talent.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

03. The Big Snit (dir. Richard Condie, 1985; Canada; 10 mins.)

"And stop sawing the table!!!"

Oh my God, I loved this so much? Other than being vaguely aware of the title and its good reputation, I had no expectations going into The Big Snit, but everything about it worked for me. The utterly bizarre sense of humor, the voice acting (especially the CAT?!), and Condie's deft combination of a marriage gone stale against the backdrop of nuclear anxiety make for a surprisingly moving ending. I think it might be a masterpiece of the form. And like Jeanne Dielman, it feels profoundly influential - it's easy to see the aftershocks of The Big Snit in a decade's worth of shows on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network.

Currently streaming on the National Film Board of Canada's website.

04. Vagabond (dir. Agnès Varda, 1985; France; 105 mins.)

"I know little about her myself, but it seems to me she came from the sea."

There really was nobody like Agnès Varda. Vagabond, or Sans toit ni loi, if you prefer its evocative original title, is pretty handily the most emotionally devastating film of hers that I've seen. As Varda shows us Mona's journey through the French countryside, it's hard not to see shades of Wendy and Lucy or even Nomadland. Like the protagonists of those films, Mona struggles to keep her head above water while living on the margins of society, and, like Reichardt and Zhao, Varda manages to find the joyful, the beautiful, and the life-affirming underneath the hardship. She also coaxes stunning work out of Sandrine Bonnaire, who turns in an extraordinarily unaffected and naturalistic performance.

Vagabond's secret weapon might be in its structure. Marrying traditional narrative scenes with a documentary-like direct address, Varda creates an achingly realistic atmosphere. Her work as a documentarian is well-known, and as a bridge between narrative and documentary filmmaking, Vagabond may just be the crown jewel in Varda's expansive body of work.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

05. A.I. Artificial Intelligence (dir. Steven Spielberg, 2001; USA; 146 mins.)

"And for the first time in his life, he went to that place where dreams are born."

Weepy existential sci-fi remains undefeated!

A.I. Artificial Intelligence is undeniably a huge swing. Genuinely feeling like that impossible mix between Spielberg's and Kubrick's sensibilities, A.I. achieves something of a hat trick - a fairytale steeped in existentialism. The Pinocchio comparisons are immediate and on-the-nose, but that doesn't make it any less fertile grounds for a compelling story. There's so much in this film that physically hurts the heart and the head to think about for too long - so much grief, so much cruelty - that framing it around David's immediately accessible journey toward becoming a real boy is pretty ingenious.

Of course, this film, maybe more than any of Spielberg's others, is deeply reliant on its lead performance. Haley Joel Osment is astonishing in this film, a blank slate for an entire world's love and anguish to project itself. Without him, the film would probably still be a fascinating sci-fi epic, but Osment lends the film the bulk of its emotional power. If we don't believe that David's entire reason for being comes from his need for love from his adopted mother (which, admittedly, is a pretty thin clothesline for the film's heavy plot to hang on), then we don't care. Osment makes us care. From anybody, this performance would be a triumph, but from a 12-year-old? It might be one of the miracles of acting.

Available to rent on demand.

06. Humanity and Paper Balloons (dir. Sadao Yamanaka, 1937; Japan; 86 mins.)

"How could he kill himself on such a nice day? How utterly selfish of him."

Up until watching this film, I don't think I ever paid any special attention to Sadao Yamanaka's name. Within a year of the release of Humanity and Paper Balloons, the 28-year-old Yamanaka would be dead.

His untimely death only hints at the kinds of films he could have made with more time. This, though, is surely one of the finest (and most depressing) final films I can think of. One of the great strengths of Humanity and Paper Balloons is how startlingly modern it all feels: it's a 1930s drama, yes, but Yamanaka's thoughtful, assured direction really brings the poetic and tragic script (written beautifully by Shintaro Mimura) and performances (especially Kanemon Nakamura as Shinza the hairdresser) to life. Like the best tragedies, the events of Humanity and Paper Balloons feel senselessly cruel and brutally inevitable, but unlike other tragedies, Yamanaka is careful to keep just a bit of disarming humor to prevent the film from feeling too heavy. 

It's an incredibly sad story beautifully told by a filmmaker struck down in his prime. Extremely worth a watch.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

07. Mississippi Masala (dir. Mira Nair, 1991; USA; 118 mins.)

"Home is where the heart is. And my heart is with you."

There is so much in Mississippi Masala that's wonderful. There's the beautiful young couple at the center, Sarita Choudhury (in a lovely debut performance) and Denzel Washington (a few years after his first Oscar win), who are so hot together that it feels like the TV might catch on fire. There's the supporting cast, too, including the legendary Sharmila Tagore, the great Charles S. Dutton, and the soulful Roshan Seth, whose sad, exhausted face is the heart of the film. There's the sensitive script by Sooni Taraporevala, that somehow finds an intimate romantic drama in a sprawling story that includes the Indian exodus from Uganda, an immigrant family's assimilation into the American South, and two clearly defined family dramas in vastly marginalized communities.

Perhaps most wonderful is Nair's gorgeous direction. The film has an expressive, vibrant visual palette, with so many different shades of red accompanying Mina and Demetrius' blooming romance. This is a rich, sensual film, and one of the great romantic dramas of the 90s.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

08. Lingua Franca (dir. Isabel Sandoval, 2019; Philippines/USA; 95 mins.)

"It doesn't matter where I go. They will hunt me down, and take me away."

Speaking of sensual! Sandoval, a true multi-hyphenate, is the director, writer, and lead performer in the stunning Lingua Franca.

The story, following an undocumented trans Filipina caregiver, is urgent, unabashedly political, and deeply moving. Sandoval and Eamon Farren both turn in deeply affecting performances, evocatively painting portraits of bruised souls trying desperately to find a way forward. The beauty in Sandoval's direction shows us that a way forward is within their grasp. It's the choices they need to make in striving for a better life that drive them further apart. The much-discussed sex scene is one of the most sensual and breathtaking in recent memory, but so much of the central romance is painted with such empathy and grace and beautiful visuals that it makes the unraveling feel all the more gutting. Also gutting is Lynn Cohen's quietly perfect performance. 

Lingua Franca is not Sandoval's directorial debut, but it does feel like the arrival of a major artist. She's clearly one of the most exciting filmmakers working today.

Currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.

09. The Blue Angel (dir. Josef von Sternberg, 1930; Weimar Republic; 108 mins.)

"Men swarm around me like moths 'round a flame, And if their wings are singed, surely I can't be blamed."

It's easy to see The Blue Angel as a collision between the expressionism and full-body physicality of silent cinema (embodied in Emil Jannings' performance) and the daring, tempting new-age sound cinema (embodied, of course, by the iconic Marlene Dietrich), but that almost devalues the skill of the actual storytelling and filmmaking going on here. Jannings' relationship with Dietrich - as naive and one-sided as it may sometimes be - is inevitable and pitiful. It's ridiculous and tragic to watch as he throws his entire life away for the most fleeting, meaningless romance imaginable. 

Both lead performers are superb, of course. Dietrich, iconic across all of her Sternberg collaborations, is exquisite both in her onstage burlesque performances and her more intimate scenes with Jannings. Their chemistry is really lovely, even as we know it can never last. Jannings is tremendous, a layered and honest performance that culminates in an emotional breakdown that feels almost ripped from a Universal monster movie. The animalistic noises of his anguish are utterly haunting. Brutal stuff, and pretty handily my favorite Sternberg film.

Available to rent on demand.

10. Time Piece (dir. Jim Henson, 1965; USA; 9 mins.)

"Help!"

Why yes, that is the head of a young Jim Henson on that plate!

It's so weird seeing a Henson film without puppets, but if Time Piece is anything, it's weird. It's also brilliant - the product of Henson's singular creative voice. At just nine minutes, the short is a striking, funny, strange meditation on what it means to be beholden to the relentless march of time. It also boasts impeccable sound design and music, courtesy of the late, great Don Sebesky.

Currently available on Vimeo.

Special mention: Vittorio De Seta's 1955 documentaries.

In 1955, De Seta released six(!) documentary shorts: Islands of Fire, Surfarara, Easter in Sicily, The Age of Swordfish, Sea Countrymen, and Golden Parable. Stunning as individual films, but taken as a group, they become a meditation on the violence of living off the land and the endless cycle of life and death. Acting as director, editor, and cinematographer, De Seta marries ethnography and anthropology with artistry, creating bite-sized, miraculous films that immortalize life and labor in rural Sicily. The cinematography alone is jaw-dropping. Whether the films chronicle the Stromboli volcano, ancient religious rituals, a day of work in sulfur mines, harvesting grain, or the life of a fisherman, they are immersive and fleeting. The longest of these films is 12 minutes, and they all feel like dreams. Stunning stuff.

All six of these films, and more of De Seta's work, are streaming on the Criterion Channel.

Honorable mentions (in alphabetical order): After Yang (dir. Kogonada, 2021); Akira (dir. Katsuhiro Otomo, 1988); Asako I & II (dir. Ryusuke Hamaguchi, 2018); Beverly Hills Cop (dir. Martin Brest, 1984); The Boy Friend (dir. Ken Russell, 1971); Carnal Knowledge (dir. Mike Nichols, 1971); Dogfight (dir. Nancy Savoca, 1991); Game Night (dir. John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, 2018); Girlhood (dir. Céline Sciamma, 2014); The Great Piggy Bank Robbery (dir. Robert Clampett, 1946); Heat (dir. Michael Mann, 1995); Italianamerican (dir. Martin Scorsese, 1974); Kajillionaire (dir. Miranda July, 2020); Linda Linda Linda (dir. Nobuhiro Yamashita, 2005); Mean Streets (dir. Martin Scorsese, 1973); Night of the Living Dead (dir. George A. Romero, 1968); Pink Flamingos (dir. John Waters, 1972) Saving Face (dir. Alice Wu, 2004); Shake! Otis at Monterey (dir. D. A. Pennebaker, Chris Hegedus, and David Dawkins, 1987); Shiva Baby (dir. Emma Seligman, 2020); Three Thousand (dir. asinnajaq, 2017); Videodrome (dir. David Cronenberg, 1983); When the Day Breaks (Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby, 1999); While You Were Sleeping (dir. Jon Turteltaub, 1995); Windy Day (dir. John Hubley and Faith Hubley, 1968); Wings of Desire (dir. Wim Wenders, 1987); Your Face (dir. Bill Plympton, 1987)

And finally, some miscellaneous viewing stats:

First movie watched in 2023: Akira (dir. Katsuhiro Otomo, 1988)

Final movie watched in 2023: The Devil Wears Prada (dir. David Frankel, 2006)

Least favorite movie: Blonde (dir. Andrew Dominik, 2022)

Oldest movie: The Impossible Voyage (dir. Georges Méliès, 1904)

Longest movie: The Ten Commandments (dir. Cecil B. DeMille, 1956 - 220 mins.)

Shortest movie: Premonitions Following an Evil Deed (dir. David Lynch, 1995 - 1 min.)

Month with the most viewings: January (35)

Month with the fewest viewings: May (5)

First movie from 2023 seen: Rye Lane (dir. Raine Allen-Miller, 2023)

Total movies: 231

Movies! They're good. Sometimes. Happy new year, friends!

[crows-talking-place]

Hi wanna hear my insane Gillion backstory theory? no? SORRY YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK HERE IT IS

Theory: Gillion wasn't the chosen one. Until he was.

ok so hear me out:

Before Gillion, there was the true chosen one. The Original. He was, like Gillion, under the care of exclusively the elders. Something happened while he was training, and it lead to his death. The Original would have been around 12 years old.

No one but the elders (and those directly adjacent) knew who the champion was, so when The Original died, they had to find somebody else to act as a replacement, else the Undersea discover that their precious Chosen One was dead. To avoid these actions coming to light, however, they realised whoever they chose must believe this lie as well, believe that they WERE the chosen one, so it would have to be someone young and impressionable: a child. But who?

We know that Finn left, and we also know that leaving the Undersea is very Not Allowed socially, and Finn as far as people go seemed to be a pretty known presence what with being a known author and scholar, so it is likely his absence was known by the citizens in the capital. Perhaps it was this which led to Gil being chosen by the elders, or perhaps it was something else. Nonetheless, Gillion was chosen, and was dropped into the role of Chosen One.

The elders have access to simulations of some kind for training. We know this. Due to the fact that sounds obnoxiously hard technologically and also how immersive they were when he re-experienced them in the pearl (remember that the simulations he entered were described as identical to those he was trained on, so it's not just a pearl hell thing), I believe these simulations were not purely physical, more a manipulation of Gillion's senses to make him believe things were there. (more eveidence: the ep where Gil trains Chip to use his fire magic by making him think he's being attached by bears and monsters etc), however if they had this ability it's not out of the question they had the ability to do more.

We've already seen people in riptide manipulate memory, it happened to Chip in Noctis. If this person could manipulate senses, manipulating memory wouldn't be out of the question. (I believe some of the memories from The Original were given to Gillion, perhaps to speed up his training. This unintentionally could have also given Gil certain memories of Finn, who according to canon timeline should have left before Gil was born, except in canon we ALSO know that Gillion remembers interacting with him. This fixes the plothole of both Finn not knowing Gillion as his grandchild, and Gillion having memories he shouldnt really have.

(The fact they have the same name could have been the elder's choice: we don't know how young Gillion was taken so they could have given him the same name The Original was known to have in Finn's flashback)

This also explains the reason that the Undersea was okay with the Chosen One being EXILED, despite the prophecy which stated that he needed to CHOOSE THEM or they'd DIE.

Because, Gillion was not the chosen one. He was a replacement. HOWEVER, this is no longer the case.

The prophecy has come to pass, and we all saw it happen.

Episode 82: Moonlight, Storm and Sea.

The pearl is struck by lightning, in the eye of the storm, and Gillion returns to this plane, a changed man. Reborn.

Sounds insane? thought so, im clearly reaching too much

Sike I have evidence for there being 2 Gillions im so right guys

This theory was inspired by a theory created very early into the show's lifespan called "Gillion is Lying" by BoilingHeart, in which two pieces of evidence were presented against Gillion being Finn's grandson (here), both being inconsistancies between the prequel one-shot and the main campaign.

Condi repied with something about taking Riptide as canon over the one-shots as they didn't know the direction the overarching story and characters would at the time, which I accepted, as it made a lot of sense.

However, this exchange was later linked to in a different post, which Grizzly saw and replied to (here)

He (Grizzly) then added to the inconsistency post with this cryptic-ass response:

Now this response surprised me, becasue this lends this inconsistency credibility. Like it's important.

This implies that BOTH the flashback (which would make Gillion in his thirties) and Gillion's riptide age are consistant. But, obviously, that was impossible. So I tried to think back. I then remembered the episode in which Gil was released in the Pearl, and thuse, this insanity was born.

Easy. Gillion wasn't the child in the flashback. The Gillion we know IS Finn's grandson, but is born of a child he was unaware of. The flashback Gillion is NOT Finn's grandson, but is a student (as far as he is aware: remember the Champion's identity is not public knowledge outside of the higher-ups) who has grown up around him, hence having memories of Finn when he was really small.

(sorry for this monster of a post it didnt want to get shorter)

(why cant i put this much effort into my school assignments)

[cindermetalheadgw2]

The absurd condi of the titanspawn is no match for my secret technique of signet of renewal plus bear stance. I will simply eat everyone's conditions