#conan gray inspired

[borealisbarbie]

idle town: i hate it here

chapter 1: in the quiet of the night chapter tags: referenced child abuse, fantasy elements, 90s setting, implied polyamory, meeting the family chapter warnings: child abuse, death, mild language word count: 3347 A/N: very much a departure from borealis lol, but i love this little family so much and i hope you will too!

Another night of disrupted sleep. 2:00am shines red from the alarm clock and from across the hall Cass can hear the sounds of muffled cries, the creak of aged bedsprings. Another nightmare, or exhaustion from the insomnia. Her heart aches as she lies in silence— her previous attempts to go in and offer comfort had not been accepted well. He’s a teenager after all, a mess of hormones and confusion, and she is little more than a stranger to him. 

When he’s not making himself small and haunting the house with his barely traceable presence, he dons a mask of blank indifference. When she brings up the nightmares in the morning he lies— blames the sounds she hears on the wind, or her own imagination. They had decided against therapy at first, wanting to see if Keiren could bounce back with their help. Or, that’s what they tell the doctors and social services.

  In reality, they simply cannot afford that kind of expense; taking in her estranged brother’s newly orphaned thirteen year old hadn’t been in the budget as it is, and they’d only just closed on the cafe a couple months ago. Keiren’d seemed fine— distant, grieving, prone to random flares… But fine. Or so showed the act he put on for them, which fell away each night. The sun set and the caricature of a moody, disinterested teenager dissolved to reveal a child who couldn’t sleep more than a couple hours at a time, and cried out for comfort he didn’t believe he deserved.

Now, Cass makes plans to use the local library’s computer to look for some sort of support group in their new neighborhood for the kid. The circles under his dark eyes border on black these days, and he’s having trouble staying awake throughout the day, if his tutor is to be believed. If something doesn’t change soon, he’s going to end up in the hospital, the last thing he needed. 

Another cry, this one much louder, quickly followed by a thud! Has her jumping out of bed and tiptoeing across the hall, pushing open her new housemate’s bedroom door. The bed is empty of both teenager and bedding, and when she looks down to find the aforementioned teen tangled within the blankets on the floor, she heaves a sigh. Orange light like that of a dying fire glows within the thin quilt, but there’s no heat. Moving slowly, because she hasn’t been sensed yet by the normally vigilant boy, Cass takes one edge of the blanket, pulling it away to reveal a flushed, teary face and a senseless fluff of dark curls. 

His eyes are still clenched shut, but he stiffens when she brushes against him, flaring to feverish temps and pulling away to sit more fully against the side of the bed. Her heart constricts in response, because this— this is the most unexpected part of taking in her nephew. 

They had foreseen the nightmares, the moodiness, the grief, the shaky grasp of control he held over his still developing abilities. 

They hadn’t foreseen the flinching, the fear of raised voices, the rejection of physical contact. Her brother hadn’t been a kind man or a good man when she knew him, and apparently he hadn’t changed that for his child. The bruises the doctors found hadn’t been caused by the fire, and they hadn’t been the result of rough treatment by the rescue team, but remnants of the loveless man laying in the morgue. 

Retracting her hands, Cass sits across from him and lets him wake fully. Red rimmed eyes blink open and meet her soft gaze fleetingly, before falling to examine the faded bedspread covering his lap. 

The orange glow fades; slow, almost tentative.

“S-sorry…” he croaks, a word she’s heard more in the last 3 weeks than she has in her entire life, she’s sure. He apologizes for everything— a knee jerk reaction the moment he seems to think he’s upset her. “I just fell but I’m fine, you can go back to bed.” That had been his explanation for the bruises, too. With that, he tries to stand, attempting to unwind the bedspread with minimal success and nearly tumbling to the ground a second time.

“Oh, baby…” She can’t help but murmur, climbing to her feet so she can help him free his tangled limbs, laying the blanket back on the bed. 

Standing face to face in the smallish room, with none of the distance they usually maintain during the day, she looks over the boy she’s taken in— all gangly limbs and awkward posture. Thirteen years old and he’s taller than her already, and yet again she is struck by the fact that she has missed her nephew’s entire childhood. A month ago she hadn’t even been aware of his existence. 

“You know the doctor said nightmares were normal, and we have those pills for the insomnia. You don’t have to hide these things from me.” But he’s already shaking his head, panic blooming in his eyes. “No please, I don’t want the pills, I can’t control it when I'm taking them.” 

And there was the elephant in the room. Not her nephew’s abilities, but his belief that his abilities had killed his parents. He refused to even acknowledge them point blank, and she’d only seen him really use his powers once; at the hospital when he’d been informed of his parents’ deaths. The flames had burned intensely but hadn’t struck out once; instead swirling together to form a cocoon around him. No one had been able to get through them and they’d had to resort to calling in a hydra working in the cafeteria to douse the flames so they could sedate him. 

Now, Keiren avoids heat like the plague; windows flung open despite the still chilly spring temps, electric fan going full speed. All he had salvaged from his old house was armfuls of eclectic sweaters, and yet he lived in the plain tank tops and t-shirts the temporary foster family provided him. He doesn’t even seem to like being in the kitchen when the stove is on. 

He cautiously climbs back into bed when she gestures for him to do so, going along without complaint when she drapes the blanket back over him— he could do it himself of course, and he’ll likely kick it off as soon as she leaves, but he’s just so heartbreaking with his shaking hands and nervous glances, and if he’s not going to sleep Cass at least wants him comfortable.

“Are you sure? We have a long day tomorrow, if you don’t get at least a little sleep…” She hesitates to give in— she’s a mother now, shouldn’t she put her foot down here? He truly does need the sleep— meeting the others is going to be rough enough for him without the added stress of a sleepless night. Her own parents would never have entertained giving her a choice to take medication or not, but her parents hadn’t been in a situation like this. 

“I’ll sleep, I promise; you don’t have to worry about me. I won’t ruin tomorrow for you.” He says it so earnestly, and paired with such big wet eyes that any thought of standing her ground vanishes. He’s had enough of people poking and prodding at him to do as they bid and she wouldn’t become one of them. 

She can’t let that last comment go though, and her hand makes an aborted motion to run through his hair before she reconsiders and settles it instead on her hip. 

“You could never ruin anything, baby.” she exhales, nodding. “You promise you’ll sleep? No books, no music?” More than once she had noticed him curled up with a flashlight  and a novel, headphones firmly in place and blasting whatever the kids were listening to these days deep into the night. Keiren shakes his head again, and the exhaustion in his eyes makes her believe that he will at least try. 

“Okay then. Sleep tight.” she offers as he’s rolling over to face the wall; a dismissal. She studies his tense form a moment longer, rubbing absently at her chilled arms before leaving. 

It’s the best a night like this has gone, Cass muses as she climbs back into bed. He’s the most talkative at night, when the need for sleep has lowered his walls some, but he’s still nearly nonverbal. The conversation tonight is the most he’s said in one sitting since being discharged from the hospital. She lies still, waiting for a sign that the teenager is being assuaged by nightmares once again. 

The night stays still and silent. 

Hoping it is a sign of better things to come, she turns out the light and succumbs to sleep.

They arrive at the house first; the movers’ trucks pull away just as they crunch over the gravel driveway. 

Keiren silently refuses her offer to help take his few belongings out of the car and hefts the battered book bag over his shoulder before dragging the garbage bag that contains his clothes out of the passenger side door to land by his feet. Cass grabs her own bag of last minute essentials and heads for the front door left partially ajar, hissing when her elbow catches on the knob. She sets her bag on the white kitchen counter before taking in her surroundings.

  The house is… bright. Late morning sunlight pours through windows accented with cheery yellow curtains, illuminating the tiny dust particles in the air— no doubt kicked up by the movers unloading. Outside the window a flock of sprites flitter around, chasing a squirrel. Towers of meticulously labeled boxes fill each room, with newly assembled furniture standing out like islands in the sea. It’s overwhelming and exhilarating. 

Rubbing her hands on her jeans, Cass walks back to the front door, where Keiren stands. He looks painfully out of place; trash bag slumped by his feet, oversized t-shirt pulled off one shoulder from the weight of his bookbag, gaze focused on the yellowed smoke detector above the door. She makes a note to have them all checked and replace any faulty ones. 

She’s about to show him to his room when another car crunches over the gravel; Peter. 

Keiren’s reaction is expected, given the little she knows of him— he freezes, panicked, eyes finding hers before he looks away, and then he just… vanishes. His shoulders pull inward, he steps away and turns so his back is to the wall, and drops his gaze to the ground. His hands clutch tightly at the strap of his bag, and the temperature of the room raises a bit. 

She’s torn between telling him to go upstairs in order to give him a reprieve and just getting the initial first meeting out of the way, when heavy footsteps take the choice from her and the door flies open. 

A large hand grappling for the handle stops it from making contact with the wall, and an equally large man passes through.

“Shit, sorry! What kind of hinges did they put on this thing?” She can’t help but roll her eyes. 

“You’re late.” Cass scolds, hands on hips. 

“Ah, come on babe! Not that late, and I hardly think the kid cares that much about punctuality. What teenager does?” he mutters good naturedly as he toes off his boots and drops them by the door. She clears her throat, gaining his attention and nodding towards Keiren. 

“Oh. OH! Fuck, sorry kid, I didn’t even see you there. Kieren, right?” He steps forward to shake his hand, apparently deciding not to heed any of the warnings she had given him beforehand. To his credit, he doesn’t just grab the kid’s hand like he usually would, instead leaves it extended for the teenager to either take or reject. 

She’s prepared to intervene before any feelings can be hurt (he’s a sensitive sort of man, no matter the trucker hat and stature) but to her pleased surprise, a smaller hand slowly reaches out and takes his, shaking it once before making a hasty retreat to twist and worry the hem of his shirt. 

Keiren doesn’t speak, not that she had expected him to, but he does nod, eyes flicking up to meet Peter’s for a split second before edging carefully away and to the doorway, making his escape. Peter turns towards her with a confused yet proud expression, pointing up the stairs.

“Did you see that? I think he likes me!” And this is why, despite his gruff personality and rough appearance, he was the one she wanted Keiren to meet first. “Kid was shaking like a leaf though, hope I didn’t startle ‘im too bad.” 

“That’s the warmest greeting anyone’s gotten out of him yet,” She admits, reaching up to tug the brim of his ‘entirely ironic’ Madonna ballcap affectionately. “Come on, let’s go see if we can get the coffee machine unpacked. I’m not touching these boxes without caffeine.” 

They do finally find the coffee machine, but the mugs are nowhere to be found. They sit on the back porch, sipping out of a ceramic measuring cup and a short vase, respectively. Keiren doesn’t make another appearance but she can hear him in his room, his music —something guitar heavy and angry— filtering through the screen of his open window. He’s avoiding them, Cass knows. One backpack and a few clothes simply did not take an hour to unpack. 

But the clock is creeping towards noon, and they haven’t eaten. He’s slight enough as it is— teetering just on the edge of malnutrition, according to the doctor, and he can’t afford to be missing meals. Finishing her last swig of black coffee (and making a note to add creamer to the shopping list), Cass stands and nudges the screen door open enough to slip through, pausing to give Peter’s shoulder a squeeze, snorting when he can’t be bothered to pull his nose from his book.

Cooking meals Keiren would eat was another one of those unexpected challenges. 

She’d cooked a huge meal to celebrate the adoption going through— roast chicken, green beans, baked potatoes, rolls. Admittedly, a meal more suited to her partners, but a good meal nonetheless. The teen had balked at the sight of the food laden table though, sitting stiffly the entire time and fiddling with a roll, nervously picking it to shreds.  She’d heard him later that night in the kitchen, digging through the cupboard like a little mouse and scarfing down handfuls of cornflakes. 

He held such an aversion towards casserole that he’d not even come down to eat, the one time she’d tried. He didn’t like chicken or beef. She’d ended up creating a mental list of the teenager’s ‘safe foods’: soup but not stew, plain turkey sandwiches with mustard, not mayo and never miracle whip, any and every kind of dry cereal… and little else. Even typical teen fare held no appeal. Pizza had gotten a few disinterested nibbles, and fast food had gotten a deluge of rejections and apologies before she’d even pulled into the drive-thru. 

The pantry was still empty, but luckily she found the nonperishable food box, and dug out a couple cans of chili and a bag of corn chips for herself and Peter, and a can of vegetable soup for Keiren. She quickly gets the two meals heating up on the stove, fully immersed in the task of lunch. 

So fully immersed that she doesn’t notice a second person in the kitchen until she turns to grab bowls and sees Keiren standing by the sink, filling a glass with water. He’s changed his clothes, succumbing to the chilly temperatures and donning a faded sweater with an uncharacteristic image of a smiling sun plastered across the front. She notes his bare feet curled a little against the cold hardwood, and adds socks to that ever growing list. 

“Lunch is going to be ready in a couple minutes, sweetheart. I hope soup is okay? It’s veggie.” A short nod, and a flash of relief that confirms her instinct that chili would be a no-go with him. He turns, presumably to go back upstairs, but seems to hesitate before turning back around. 

“Need help?” he asks so quickly that it takes a second for it to register. She nods belatedly, eyes wide and trying to stifle a smile, lest her excitement scare him off.

“Yeah. Yeah! Here, you can set the table. Bowls are above the sink, silverware is… to the right —no, the left— of the fridge. And can you also grab a soda from the fridge for Peter?” She almost asks him to grab a beer on instinct, but he’ll have to make do with pop until Keiren is settled. 

He sets his water on the counter and goes about setting the table while she turns off the stove and gives the counter a cursory wipedown, tossing the empty cans as she does. It’s ridiculously mundane; they don’t even talk, and it's awkward maneuvering the new kitchen while also avoiding getting in each other’s way— and yet it’s the happiest she’d felt in months. 

Between the funeral arrangements, the doctors’ visits, the nightmares, the social services appointments, the moving… It’d been impossible to find a second to breathe, and happiness has taken a backseat to surviving. 

She hadn’t even set foot in the cafe since they’d closed; her partners had taken care of all of that down to hiring the staff and preparing for opening day. Hopefully by then Keiren would be settled enough to want to go with them. He hadn’t mentioned missing any friends, and he didn’t look particularly bothered to have spent so much of these months either alone or with adults, but a little social interaction would be good for him. Their neighbors had a daughter who looked around his age— her partners said to leave it alone, but she thought they would get along well. A housewarming party, just a casual backyard barbeque kind of thing, maybe… 

A soft throat clear brings her out of her musing, and she takes in Keiren’s work. He’s sat her and Peter together at one end of the picnic style table and placed himself a fair distance away, just close enough to not look blatantly avoidant. 

“You did great, Keiren,” She decides to test this new bravery of his. “Can you go and let Peter know that it’s time to eat? I just have to dish this all up,” she adds, turning a little to indicate the food. 

He nods slowly but not hesitantly, from what she can tell, and slips away, silently as he came. 

She doesn’t try to eavesdrop, because that would be silly. She just stands by the already open window, diligently drying a tiny wet spot on the counter. If she leans herself out the window a little to really take in the scenery and happens to also give herself a passable view of the porch, that’s no one’s business but her own. 

Keiren doesn’t get the jump on Peter like he had Cass; the creaky screen door prevents it. Peter looks up from his book, turning in his rocker to see the teenager, who seems to stiffen a little bit, but again, doesn’t flee like she’s seen him do with other men. 

Keiren talks with his hands, just like his father. 

She can't make out their words from this distance, but even so, she can tell they’re not just talking about lunch. Peter holds up his book, apparently in answer to a question Keiren must have asked. The teen smiles. Cass nearly tumbles out the window in shock, barely righting herself and finishing filling their bowls just as the two walk in, joining her at the table. Lunch is a silent affair but for the clanking of spoons and the fizz of Peter’s soda can. 

Keiren eats the entire bowl of vegetable soup.

Outside the sprites flutter and a distant dog barks.

Maybe now, they can ease out of survival mode. 

[delirium1217]

There's no need to hide

Word count: 1009 words James/Regulus. First wizarding war AU (they're both stuck together in the same safe house)

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“No, this won’t do.” James stands up, “We are not spending today of all days moping.”

“We’re not moping, we’re just talking.” Regulus replies, slightly indignant.

“All we ever talk about are big, sad, mushy feelings.” James dramatically flails his hands around, almost as if shooing the sentiment away.

“Big, mushy, feelings.” Regulus repeats, he tries to sound offended but the tug on his lips says otherwise.

“Well yeah, everyone you know thinks you’re dead, terribly sorry we can’t do anything about that by the way. And me, well, where the fuck do we start, you know?”

Regulus looks back at him, slowly blinking. the sickly yellow lightbulb casting down its shadows.

He doesn’t need to think about that right now.

He just needs something to fill the noise.

The air was filled with the sense of slight delirium. Nothing felt real. Nothing had consequence. James felt like he could run away, sprint off into the fields and pretend the last twenty two years of his life were a lapse of chemicals his mind made up in a haze.

The depression that hung over him all week threatened to spill into hysterical exuberance. But James didn’t care, it’s been so long since he had someone near him, someone that wasn’t decades older than him. Someone that talked to him, not just through him. Someone that didn’t expect him to be something he wasn’t.

He’ll let himself get drunk on whatever endorphins his body, for whatever reason, was dishing out.

He just needs something to fill the noise.

“Look James, maybe we should call it a night-“

“Nonsense! It’s your birthday, we’re staying up. We’re transforming some stale bread into equally stale cake. We’re playing music your obnoxious little self wouldn’t be caught dead listening to, and we’re dancing.”

He taps his wand. The tinny radio spluttered to life. The glittery synths were scratchy and soft. It filled the room instantly.

Regulus looks back horrified, his eyes widened.

He stretches his hand out for Regulus to take.

Regulus stares down at it, then back at James’ face “Oh no, absolutely not.”

“Oh c’mon, I used to do this all the time with Peter.”

“Is that all what you four did all day? dance around with each other?”

“Mostly, amongst other things. The worst of us was Remus, man had two left feet and fingernails like talons.” he fondly remembers the way Remus’ grip dug into his shoulders and ‘Moony, can you for the love of everything try and be less rigid’ while everyone else in the common room cheered them on, well, mostly Sirius.

Regulus snorts, “I should’ve known. And to think of all the time I wondered what on earth you people did.”

“Well, we had to, the marauders couldn’t embarrass themselves in front of the ladies.”

James’ hand was still outstretched. He wiggled his fingers again, “Come on. Can’t you just humor me?”

“You know it’s my birthday, you should be humoring me.” Still, something in his expression softens - he sighs, unfolds his arms, and carefully places his hand into James’ own.

The soft music and layered vocals had filtered throughout the room. The noise of it seemingly amplified in the tiny living room.

James slowly put his hand on Regulus’ shoulder - the unexpected warmth that rushed through him made him pause. He realizes, this was the first time he’s touched another person in months.

(Eight months to be exact, the last time he saw Marlene, drenched in black hoods at an Order meeting. She gave him a full body hug and squeezed all the oxygen out of him.)

Still, he slides his other hand across Regulus’ palm. The song playing was by a muggle band he didn’t recognize - a ditzy little number, all dreamy sounds and far away vocals. The shimmering effect the night held seemed to surge as they swayed.

It was awkward at first, as it always is. Clutching to each other’s shoulders in a frigid way that even Remus would realize was painful. That was until James, in his delirious state of glee started adding twists and turns left and right, loosening both of them up.

Regulus followed his every move, surprisingly fluid and confident in a way his posture never was. They both slowly started to laugh with every unnecessary kick or turn they flourished as they moved across the kitchen floor. This wasn’t a formal dance in any sense of the word, bouncing around like fools across the linoleum tiles.

It’s been a long time since he felt like this. Young, stupid, and full of bravado. Of course, now it was tinged with the haziness of all what’s broken his heart over and over, night after night. But it was still there, a flickering light in the dark. On and off. He silently pleaded with whoever was handling it to not click it off just yet.

“Okay, you have to stop before I start to vomit,” Regulus raises his voice over the bellowing music, a woman singing about hot stuff.

“We’ve both had nothing all day, nice try though!”

“Have you ever seen a cat dry heave?”

James laughs. He slows his tempo down back to a sway.

“Alright, we’re slowing down, only because it’s your birthday. Otherwise we would’ve been spinning off the patio,”

Regulus promptly ignores him. “Wasn’t there a promise of cake during your little speech?”

“Stale cake.” James corrects. “and i can only manage sweetened white bread, with bits of frosting.”

“I’ve had worse meals,” Regulus replies

“I bet you did,” James smiles back.

They come to a stop as the last seconds of the song play, another already fading in.

They both found themselves a few moments later hunched over a piece of incredibly stale, possibly moldy bread. Both throwing every bit of transfiguration spell they had in their arsenal. The result was a dried-out, but surprisingly pretty piece of yellow sponge cake. James had taken bits of milk and transfigured it into real looking icing, which coated the sides in swirls and peaks.

[hidden-for-reg]

Sirius ruined everything by running away. Regulus ruined everything by staying.

*Inspired by Winner by Conan Gray

Written for @conangray-marauders-fest

[homvlily]

epigenetics

our hearts took a beating

we share the same wounds

but mine is now broken

while yours is held with screws

how can our lives start the same

but the outcome be so different

you’re as radiant as a shining star

yet i’m nothing but diffident

there must be something internal

an error in my body’s code

that threw my soul into the ocean

and left it there to erode

- @homvlily (2024)

[ourstaturestouchtheskies]

web-weaving – the agony in the garden

🩸 Christ in Gethsemane – Heinrich Hofmann // Rose – The Oh Hellos 🩸 Folio 122r of a Book of Hours – Masters of Zweder van Culemborg // Luke 22:42 🩸 Christ in the Garden of Olives – Gaspar de Crayer // Family Line – Conan Gray 🩸 Folio 122r of a Book of Hours – Masters of Zweder van Culemborg // Psalm 22:2 🩸 The Agony in the Garden – Ludovico Carracci // Sun Bleached Flies – Ethel Cain 🩸

[dea-doesnt-do-d1ck]

Family line

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Kiyosumi was nauseous.

Additionally, he had the biggest hangover he's had in weeks, all because he had gone on a bender over the weekend.

So now, here he was, Monday afternoon, nauseous, lying on his futon, the nasty looking bedside table that functioned as a nightstand beside him starting to tremble as his phone that was laying screen down on the booze-stained wood began to vibrate.

Groaning in annoyance and clicking his tongue,the man picked up his phone,his brows furrowing causing deep wrinkles to set on his forehead as his eyes tried to focus on the bright white screen which irritated them, considering the rest of the room was bathed in darkness due to the man having closed his curtains before trying to take a nap.

"Whaddya want...?"

His voice was gruffy and clearly communicated even more than his rude words that he was in no mood to talk or even interact with anyone. Well, anyone other than his cat that was currently lying in her bed that stood next to his.

"Hello kiyo, how are you? Good? Great. Anyway, do you know what we're celebrating this Saturday?"

"No."

The person on the other end of the phonecall sighed a bit, before letting him know it was Keichi's birthday. Kiyosumi's brows furrowed even more as he told her he didn't care, his sister cutting him off before he could say anything more rude than that as she told him that they'd be celebrating at their mother's home.

"Look, neither I nor him expect you to bring a present but you're coming. Bye bye, see you Saturday!"

Before the Japanese man could protest, the older woman hung up the phone as kiyosumi resisted the urge to toss the smart device across his room, instead just slamming it down on the night table, as if to show his upset despite the fact that there was no one around to see it as he tried to snuggle back into bed.

But there was something stopping him.

He almost screamt in frustration as, additionally to the nausea and headache already plaguing him, a third, even more annoying and useless source of pain joined as he held his arms over his stomach. The dread he held for this Saturday caused a stomach ache to plague his already plagued body.

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Kiyosumi wanted to die.

Not seriously, or at least not entirely seriously, but he didn't remember the last time he had felt so bad, so useless, so stupid so.... So weak.

He was often brushed off and disliked by many as just some cocky karateka asshole who was way too arrogant and needed to be taken down a notch, and while partially, it was true (He was both a karateka and an asshole after all), he was also incredibly insecure and, towards people he actually respected, oftentimes almost soft.

Like baki. In the begining, he had thought of the boy as some arrogant 17 year old, but now, things we're different. He admired the boy's ability to fight and his unbelievable strength. It was a bit similar to how he felt about Katsumi.

Sure, he was the grandmaster's son, and sometimes, too cocky to be likeable, but he was also an incredibly kind and strong man that Katou had long admired, and who astounded him when he asked for Katou to act as his master.

Of course Kiyosumi being Kiyosumi had acted as if it was no biggie, but in reality, he had been really proud of himself that Katsumi admired him enough to make him his master, even if it was just for short.

All this to say that Kiyosumi was by no means 100% some cocky asshole, he was often rude, but he had other moments too and he wasn't ashamed of that.

Right now though.... Right now he was ashamed. He had never done as horrible during training as he had now, it disgusted him and made him feel weak and he hated it.

He didn't even bother changing out of his gi, his apartment wasn't far and it was smer so he had only taken off his jacket while keeping on his wife beater that hugged his upper body tightly. Before he could leave however, Suredo peeked his head into the changing room, making Kiyosumi scoff as he didn't even make eye contact.

"Yoy wanna go out and get a beer?"

The large redhead asked as Katou looked like he was deep in thought before saying he had beer at home. Atsushi nodded slowly as Katou wanted to brush past him only to be stopped.

"You wanna drink at your place?"

An all too familiar need arose from deep within his brain as he huffed, but nodded, Atsushi following his 'comrade' to said man's apartment.

And then it began.

Soft, almost sensual kisses against eachother's faces and lips, necks and throats as Kiyosumi was seated on his dresser by Atsushi who's never ending sloppy, insecure but incredibly affectionate actions gave Kiyosumi some warming ease that separated him from the anxiety and that seemed to stop him from spiraling into what might've become a depressive episode.

Sure, mental issues were no simple thing easily stopped by a bit of affection, but this kind of affection at least caused his mind to be focused on other things than the dreaded feeling of weakness and uselessness.

And when he was pinned down on his futon, his muscular calves caging in Atsushi's waist, both him and the man currently working on bringing both of them closer and closer to release moaning and groaning, he only thought about that.

How good it felt, how warm he felt, how dizzy he was but how good even that felt. Even afterwards, when he was sticky with his own semen and smoking a cigarette, his mind was fairly calm, atsushi laying by his side, holding him.

It was pretty nice.

Kiyosumi would never say that, but he liked this, however, he was unusually needy and touchy in the moment, so Suedo understood him just fine, even without words.

And then, he raked his hands through katou's damp and sweaty hair, asking him what was going on in a surprisingly non-chalant way. Neither his caring and sweet actions, nor him asking was normal for this man, but Suedo couldn't help it.

Kiyosumi took a long drag of his cigarette before putting it out and rolling onto his side as Suedo huffed before hugging the black haired man close.

In the middle of the night, Kiyosumi just randomly woke up, turning his body which caused the sheets to shuffle with his muscular form as he looked at Suedo's sleeping face illuminated by the moonlight.

Biting his bottom lip, kiyosumi curled up again, all that peace of mind leaving as soon as he once again came to the realization of what he had done like how he did every.single.time.

God, kiyosumi felt so pathetic.

>≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺<

"Kiyosumi, I'm glad you came!"

Cringing at her high pitched voice, Kiyosumi gave his sister a soft glare before putting out his cigarette as the both of them headed into the house in front of them, the door opening upon his sisters ringing of the door bell.

"Oh dear, you two came! I'm glad!"

The short, frail looking woman said, smiling up at her children before gently cupping kiyosumi's face.

"My, what a handsome young man, you look just like your father-"

"Mom, let him get inside first."

Hana said, gently swatting at her mother's wrists, the woman nodding, releasing kiyosumi's face, the man clenching his jaw. He hated when his mother did that.

Both him and Hana took their shoes off, the black haired woman putting them away neatly just like him. He was good mannered when it came to certain things, after all.

Once inside, he handed off a messily wrapped gift to Keichi, wishing his younger brother a happy birthday as the young man beamed with joy, smiling at the man he admired.

God how Kiyosumi both hated and loved that stare.

He loved it because,especially when he and Keichi were younger, he always protected his little brother and just loved the way said boy's whole face would light up with admiration when he saw him. He'll yeah, he really was the world's coolest older brother, that's right Keichi, and don't you forget it! Call him strong again, go on, he really was insanely strong, wasn't he? Even if a certain grandmaster rarely acknowledged it.

It started in high school that he began disliking it deeply. Sure, he was still cocky about how strong he was like before, but now there were... Other things. His constant smoking, boozing, fucking, those were things he didn't want his younger brother to do.

Sure, they made Kiyosumi cool, (except for the last one, because this was before he would've ever tried having sex with men and he was incredibly awkward during and after sex with women since, well, he just wasn't really meant for it) but they could easily fuck up Keichi's life.

And then, after his first time having sex with another man (Probably someone from the dojo), he began absolutely fucking hating it. How could his little brother look at him with such admiration when he did something so shameful and wrong....?

It would've baffled anyone else to find out that Kiyosumi Katou hated being admired, since, at the dojo, he looooved whenever anyone even praised him and was generally pretty cocky, it even baffled Kiyosumi a bit now like he'd ever admit it, but it was probably because of their parents.

Kiyosumi came from a rather traditional family, A salary man father, a housewife mother and two siblings, his life could've been lived pretty normal. Except for the fact that his parents, despite their plain jobs and normal appearances behaved in ways that would surely cause at least some heads to turn.

Take his father for example; Hardworking salary man that used the weekend to unwind and go on camping or fishing trips, spending little time with his family, and when he did, usually just being a rather stoic, not very emotional man. He never really did much with Kiyosumi, other than occasionally taking an hour on a Sunday to teach him basic 'manly' skills, which to his father meant, teaching him mechanical things, maybe helping with mathematics homework and one time very reluctantly taking him out to fish.

His mother, whom most people pitied because they thought she was some poor, unloved housewife, was one of the most mentally unstable people he'd ever met, and while he partially felt bad for how his father treated her, he couldn't handle her outburst.

She could go from being overly affectionate, mainly physically, to the point it started freaking Kiyosumi out, to crying and screaming at them for the smallest slip up and just looking at them and treating them with disgust. Sometimes she'd just sit at the kitchen table, crying about why her husband didn't love her until Hana would just come up and try to escort her mother to the bedroom so the woman could sleep.

In those moments when his mother had her breakdowns, he felt bad for Keichi who was completely overwhelmed by all of this. Not like Kiyosumi ever did anything to comfort him, he'd just leave and go to the dojo or hang out with his delinquent buddies, but he felt bad, he truly did.

"Thank's Kiyo!"

Keichi cheered, clearly excited over the gift as Hana nodded with a small hum of surprise that her younger brother actually managed to get Keichi a gift. Kiyosumi just gave a curt nod before the four of them sat down for tea and cake, his mother smiling, her hands folded in her lap, the table next to her also set as he took in her appearance and realized she had dolled herself up a bit, wearing makeup and jewelry, her long black hair down instead of in its usual bun.

"Your father promised to join us later!"

She excitedly announced as Keichi smiled happily. Out of the three, he was the one who craved their parents attention the most. And while Hana tried to uphold at least basic communication and social interaction, Kiyosumi just completely ignored them.

"Now, how are you doing? Hana, have you found a boyfriend yet, because my friend, she has this son, around your age, you used to play together-"

"I have a girlfriend, mom. You've met Chiyo before, I don't need a boyfriend."

His mother frowned a bit.

"Hana,you can't possibly expect to be happy with a girl by your side. What about children,how will you have those?"

"We can adopt or maybe, I just don't want kids? Not every woman has to live that picket fence dream, you know that, right?"

The woman responded, clearly annoyed with her mothers old fashioned attitude as the woman told Hana not to paint her out to be the villain.

"I'm just worried, that's all, don't be mad at your mother for worrying!"

She said, her voice taking on the hurt one she always put on when she wanted to act like the victim. Kiyosumi hated it, but he just clicked his tongue slightly. Goddammit he needed a cigarette right now.

Then, his mother continued trying to make small talk, Keichi and Hana joining in, but Kiyosumi couldn't care less.

"Ah, Kiyo, how about you? You're doing so much of that karate, you've become such a good man, are there any cute girl's you're interested in?"

"No."

"Well, I suppose it's just like in middle school. All you cared about is that karate, I guess that means there's no space in your life."

His mother chuckled.

"But I know this other woman, her daughter is such a good girl, I'm sure you two would be a perfect pair! Why don't I give you her number, hmm? Or even better, she could come over and-"

"No. I'm not interested-"

"Oh don't be like that, I'm sure once you meet her-"

"Mom, I said I'm not-"

"But you can't be happy with just that karate! A young man like you should experience love, you should kiss and go on dates and-"

Kiyosumi clicked his fingers against his thigh, clearly starting to get annoyed, but before he could scream at her, Keichi interrupted them both.

"I-I met somebody too!"

Silence.

Kiyosumi raised a brow at his younger brother's flustered behaviour before the boy spoke up again.

"They're really kind and sweet and I wanted to maybe...introduce them to you today-"

"They're? Do you mean she?"

Kiyosumi scoffed as Hana elbowed him in the side and Keichi froze over.

"Uhmm...I..."

"That's wonderful news, I'm sure she's a lovely girl! Why didn't you tell me about her earlier?"

"Because it's not a girl."

Hana smacked Kiyosumi over the back of the head at this statement,the man just glaring at her as her mother looked at Keichi in confusion.

"Keichi, she's a girl, right?"

"Yes..."

He sounded like he wanted to add something,but he didn't,kiyosumi's dark eyes picking up on how his younger brother let his nails sink into his thighs.

And then, just as Keichi seemed to reach a certain determination to speak up again, the front door opened, which seemed to turn their mother into a whole different person as she rushed to the door to greet her husband and kiyosumi scoffed while Hana squeezed Keichi's hand under the table.

"It's fine if it's not a girl Keichi."

"It is a girl!"

The young man's insistance made his statement seem less true, but Kiyosumi couldn't care less. Or at least that's what he told himself.

Once his father and mother entered the room again, what ensued was the worst dinner Kiyosumi had ever had, but despite his uncaring attitude,he could tell it was worse for Keichi.

Fiddling with his fingers, the boy seemed overly anxious to say something that never made it past his lips, and Kiyosumi kind of wanted to tell him to man up and say something, but he refrained. Why should he care?

Eventually,the pressure seemed to wear him down enough so that he finally spoke.

"I'm not...I don't feel like Keichi anymore. Now that I'm eighteen, I think I can finally say it with certainty."

Kiyosumi quirked a brow.

"The hell you mean, you don't feel like Keichi anymore?"

He asked, his mother looking at Keichi and his father between short, worried glances.

"What are you saying sweetheart-"

"I'm not a man. I don't feel like a man."

And once again during the short time the five of them had been together in the tidy living room, there was silence.

"Oh, that's perfectly normal, congratulations on coming out-"

"So, what, you're a crossdresser? A ladyboy?"

His father's words were disgusted both in tone and what he chose to say as he wiped his mouth with his paper towel before getting up.

"Darling, please, I'm sure he didn't- K-Keichi, you don't mean it, yeah? You mean, you're a bit feminine, right? You're still my son, right?"

Kiyosumi just looked at Keichi in confusion. This was... Was Keichi Transgender?

He had heard of that, probably from Katsumi or something.

It was almost a bit funny to Kiyosumi if he was honest to himself, that both of his parents were so old fashioned and homophobic, and his sister was a lesbian, he was, though he'd never openly admit it, gay, and his little brother turned out to not be a brother at all.

"No it's nothing like that, I'm not... I'm not a crossdresser or anything. I don't feel like a guy or a girl I just-"

Keichi was babbling,cleaely sweaty as keichi tried explaining keichi's feelings.

"Oh, you're non binary, that's completely normal!"

Hana assured Keichi who, in all of Keichi's panic looked at Kiyosumi for help.

There it was.

That look they had always given him when their mother had a break down.

Sadly for Keichi, Kiyosumi still wasn't one for comforting, so he grumbled something about smoking, getting up and going outside as Hana looked after him in disappointment while she tried comforting Keichi.

Their mother was a sobbing mess at this point,asking the world how she deserved this, begging Keichi to say they were joking and to apologize to their father.

Meanwhile, Kiyosumi was standing outside, having a smoke, Hana eventually leaving, screaming at their mother how insensitive she was and whatever, brushing right past Kiyosumi, Keichi stumbling out until they stood by their brother's side.

"Kiyo... Is there something wrong with me?"

Oh god keichi shouldn't be so vulnerable around Kiyosumi. The Japanese man took a long, maybe even too long, drag of his cigarette before staring at Keichi.

"I don't know man."

Upon Keichi's crying, Kiyosumi lazily wrapped an arm around Keichi, before telling them not to listen to their mother.

"Look I won't... I won't pretend to be super supportive or whatever. I don't care if you're my brother or sister or whatever,we never hang out anyway."

He put his cigarette out on the wall, right next to him before just staying quiet as Keichi sobbed into his chest.

This was part of why he didn't want Keichi to look up to him.

Part of him believed that what he hated most about himself, who he loved and who he was had influenced Keichi like this and he couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.

And yet, he also felt jealous. His younger sibling, who had always looked up to him had managed to tell both of their pparents something like that, while Kiyosumi still hid that he wasn't interested in women one bit out of sheer and utter fear. How pathetic.

"W-Will they hate me now...?"

Keichi sniffled and Kiyosumi shrugged.

"Yeah. But who cares anyway."

Keichi's crying increased as Kiyosumi said something that shocked him even more than it did Keichi.

"Why don't you come to the shinshinkai with me?"

He wasn't even sure why he said it, maybe because he had found comfort in the dojo?

Maybe because he saw doppo and natsue as better alternatives to his parents? He had no idea. But before he could take the words back, Keichi spoke.

"I'd really love that."

Well fuck.

Now he couldn't take it back.

But, he thought, maybe it'd be fine. Maybe they'd have a good time, maybe Kiyosumi could feel good and like not so much of a disappointment with his younger sibling there to admire him.

Yeah, he liked that idea, so much so, it managed to make him smile a bit, so much so that it managed to make his stress and anger momentarily melt away as for the first time in years, he felt like an actual good, respectable older brother.

He liked it a lot.

[unboundprompts]

Yellow Prompts

-> writing prompts from songs that feel yellow. feel free to edit as you see fit.

"You make my heart beat like the rain." - Electric Love by BØRNS

"I wonder why I love you like I do. Is it because I think you love me too?" - I Wonder Why by Dion & The Belmonts

"Put out your cigarette and kiss me on the lips." - 1983 by Neon Trees

"Keep your throne, it's all you want and all that you'll ever know." - This Bird Has Flown by The Ghost Club

"I wouldn't change you if I could." - Spiderhead by Cage The Elephant

"I can't seem to untie the rope she's got wrapped around her finger." - Gypsy Woman by Anarbor

"I'll make you feel alive with me." - Love Me Blind by Thick As Thieves

"Every day is just rewind and replay." - Record Player (with AJR) by Daisy The Great, AJR

"I don't think that I could be the one that you want me to be." - Run the World!!! by Dayglow

"Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him?" - Sugar, We're Goin Down by Fall Out Boy

"You're a smart guy by skin but a dumb one at heart." - Yr the Best! by carpetgarden

"With friends like ours, anywhere is home." - Another Night On Mars by The Maine

"I could spend a lifetime sitting here talking." - Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray

"You're a symphony, I'm just a sour note." - Stupid for You by Waterparks

"Maybe this is the result of me finally accepting that I'll be alone forever." - Ramblings of a Lunatic by Bears In Trees

"Sometimes I try to be somebody I'm not." - Sad Forever by Anthony Amorim

"I don't want any more heartbreak. I'm tired of the sound it makes, like trying to shut out the dark at night." - Somebody by Jukebox The Ghost

"Tomorrow, we'll be the authors of our lives." - Tomorrow (feat. Jason Lancaster) by Set It Off

"It's sad to know that we're not alone in this." - Brave as a Noun by AJJ

"How can I be a black hole and your favorite constellation?" - Numb by Waterparks

"Keep your sunny days. Leave us in the rain." - Mulberry Street by Twenty One Pilots

"I will never be less than what you want." - Favorite Liar by The Wrecks

"You're here for a reason but you don't know why." - False Confidence by Noah Kahan

"Life gave us lemons, so we made lemonade and we spiked that shit with vodka and gin." - As a Villain by Dallas Thornton

"I thought you knew me truly." - Variations on a Cloud by Miracle Musical

[lost-on-t-umblr]

I feel like I’m a different person every six months. I think that’s just something about being young, you’re just always kind of changing. I used to look at life so black and white. I used to be like, “Oh, I like you, or I hate you, or I’m in love, or I’m not in love.” Or, “I believe in this, and I don’t believe in this.” Nowadays I’ve accepted that life generally is just an in-between. I don’t know where I’m going, and I kind of know where I’ve been, but I’m allowing myself to make mistakes, which I never used to do.

Conan Gray, GQ interview

[wistfulenchantress]

@gardenofrunar went and inspired me again <3, so I wrote a microfic

You said that lie already

(Platonic Regdora based on Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray word count 229)

Regulus wakes up crying a lot. 

Normally he has the situation under control. Normally he gets a glass of water and goes back to bed. 

So, when he woke up with tears streaming down his face he wasn't surprised. But when he walked into the common room something snapped. This happened once before, he remembered, and Pandora gave him a ring. He managed to turn the small, green crystal on the ring as he broke down. “Someone come and help me,” he whispers.

Regulus sobs and chokes on the floor, again. It should be humiliating to still be doing this at 16, but he is too far gone to care. 

Besides, it’s midnight, and nobody is awake. 

Pandora hurried down the stairs as Regulus cried the last of his tears.

“Regulus,” She murmured, crouching down and looking at him. He tried to smile, and started crying again.

Pandora took him around the shoulders, and brought him over to a common room sofa.

Regulus just clung to her chest, sobbing into her shirt. She dismissed his choked attempts to apologize. 

“I don’t really need nobody,” Regulus tells her as Pandora massages circles into his back. 

She nods with a sigh, “You said that lie already, love.”

“I just needed someone around,” he whispers, eyes fluttering closed. 

“Glad to be a comfort,” she responds, also drifting off. They sleep until morning.

<333

inspo:

[kkurisuac]

We’re two worlds apart

Pairing: Wakasa Imaushi x Fem!reader

warning: kinda fluff, angst at the end, friends to (lovers) to strangers

Two young people whose lives are far from perfect. The girl's parents are not exactly role models, quite the opposite. But she has found the person with whom she can escape from the world.

Neither of them believes in love: the girl because of her parents, and the boy simply because he has no interest in that particular feeling. They think that together they can escape their problems and a better future awaits them.

"Waka, that's too high! Come down a bit and help me," Y/n extended her hand for the boy to pull her up into the tree.

"It's time to overcome your fear of heights, so I'm not coming down," Wakasa said as he pulled her up onto the branch.

"Waka, I'm scared," Y/n clung to the boy.

"Open your eyes," Wakasa replied, and Y/n, though afraid, looked up. Her eyes beheld a dark forest illuminated only by the stars. There was nothing interesting, just peace and quiet, and that was exactly what Y/n liked.

"I'm still scared," the girl said, to which Wakasa laughed.

"That's definitely wrong. The wind is blowing that way," Y/n said to Wakasa, who looked at her boredly.

"Then you do it, Y/n!" Wakasa gave up so the girl would be satisfied with the way he was doing it.

"Okay, it's fine there too," Y/n agreed, just so she wouldn't have to pitch the tent.

Sitting on the shore, they waited for the sunrise while sipping tea and sharing a blanket.

"Shinichiro wants to see you again."

"Wasn't once enough? I mean, your friends are very nice, but they don't believe there's nothing between us. Even though it might seem like my heart belongs to you."

"Because it really seems that way?" Wakasa asked, hoping the girl would say something encouraging.

"It doesn't matter, because young love doesn't last forever anyway, and besides, we're separated by two worlds," Y/n said sadly.

"You said that when we first met too."

"Because we're always separated by two worlds, then and now."

"Will you ever explain this? Because I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now."

"You'll find out when you figure it out yourself," Y/n laughed at the boy. Wakasa admired the girl, who looked even more beautiful in the early light.

"Waka, look, there's the sun!" Y/n pointed forward.

"If you didn't show me, I wouldn't have seen it," Wakasa replied boredly.

"Waka, help me! These are too heavy for me," Y/n pleaded tiredly with the boy.

"Okay, just don't whine anymore," he took the many bags from her. Wakasa had accompanied Y/n shopping, but she hadn't mentioned that Wakasa would be carrying her stuff.

"Now let's go eat! I'm starving," Y/n headed towards their favorite diner.

"Y/n, is something wrong? You're not acting normally," Wakasa stopped the girl.

"It's just my parents. Never mind, please don't talk about it," Y/n replied sadly, to which Wakasa nodded understandingly and continued walking beside her.

Y/n had a specific problem she couldn't share with Wakasa at the moment. She didn't want to think about the future when she was with him, so she lied a little.

"Come on! I'll catch you, don't be afraid," Wakasa looked at the girl who still didn't dare jump out of the window.

"Besides sneaking me out, you ask me to do this too! You'd better catch me," she closed her eyes and jumped out of the window. Wakasa caught her, and Y/n snuggled into his embrace, trembling.

"I'll never do this again," Y/n declared, letting go of Wakasa.

The two young people set off for their favorite spot, the beach, to watch shooting stars.

Y/n's parents didn't allow her to go, so Wakasa decided to sneak her out for the night. Y/n had been looking forward to this day for months, and Wakasa knew how much it meant to her to see the stars. So, following Shinichiro's idea, he made sure Y/n could see the shooting stars.

"It's colder than I thought," Y/n shivered.

"What did you expect in the middle of winter?" Wakasa sat closer to Y/n to warm her up.

"Waka, thank you so much. If it weren't for you, I'd be sitting alone and lonely in my room, hoping to be happy one day. But because you're here, I don't have to hope," Y/n smiled at the boy.

"The least I could do was make you happy if I already snuck you out," Wakasa laughed, hiding the fact that he blushed because of her.

"Waka! Waka! Look, there's the shooting star!" Y/n exclaimed happily.

"Make a wish," Wakasa reminded her.

'Let me stay with him.'

'Let me not have to leave him.'

After they both made their wishes, they just stared at the sky, lost in their thoughts. Occasionally, Y/n pointed out constellations she recognized, but then she fell silent.

"I'm going to America," Y/n said painfully.

"What?" Wakasa was surprised and couldn't believe what he heard.

"My parents have been planning this for months, and they told me a few weeks ago."

"Oh, okay, that's good," Wakasa said painfully. Although he kept the same bored expression, he was hurting inside because Y/n was going to leave him.

"Waka… I don't want to go," Y/n said, crying as she hugged Wakasa. He let her cry and did everything to comfort her.

"Look at that star. That star always shines, and when I'm in America, I'll see the same sky you do, so think of me when you see it," Y/n said, pointing to the sky, though she couldn't see anything through her tears.

"This is the last time we're sitting here together for now."

"Don't go," Wakasa spoke for the first time in a while.

"I've never been able to choose my destiny, and that won't change now. Maybe someday," Y/n smiled painfully.

"But I wanted to show you so many things."

"When I come back someday."

"That's a promise, Y/n."

"You lied, Y/n. Our star doesn't shine anymore," Wakasa looked up at the sky.

Many years had passed since Y/n went to America, leaving Wakasa behind. They say distance strengthens a relationship, but that wasn't the case for them. Today was the first time they met in many years, but standing face to face, they were like strangers. Yet neither of them had forgotten the other; they were still in love with each other. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't fall in love again because they only thought of each other.

"You didn't keep your promise, Waka," Y/n looked up at the sky, searching for their star.

"There's a legend that says you can't force stars to align if they're already dead. This applies to us too, Waka."

"I always loved you, Y/n. I tried to keep our star together, but I couldn't."

"We went through so much together, Waka. We saw so many things, and thanks to you, I fell in love, but we're separated by two worlds," Y/n looked at the boy disappointedly.

"So we can never be together, right?"

"Maybe someday. When we manage to overcome what separates us."

"Y/n, are you leaving again?" Waka asked, hoping the girl's answer would be no.

"Waka… I don't want to leave you," Y/n fell into Wakasa's arms.

"But you will, just like years ago," Wakasa said with the same bored expression, though he struggled to hide his pain and disappointment.

"I understand why you're angry with me, but… I'm 27 years old and I still don't control my life, and I don't think I ever will."

"Y/n, what if I ran away with you again like I did that night?"

"Then you'd take control of my destiny, and not just my heart would be yours."

….

[sunny-hates-the-sun]

Bracelet i made inspired by the cover for the single Never Ending Song by Conan Gray!!!

[borealisbarbie]

idle town: i hate it here masterlist-

part one summary: tentative summary: In a world where magic is as real and mundane as taxes and laundry, Cassandra, her werewolf husband Peter, and their witch partner James have finally figured things out. They've bought a house, they've finished renovations on a charming little cafe in the heart of idyllic Evermorre, and they're even talking about looking into adoption. One freak incident throws a wrench into things, however; Cass's estranged brother and his wife die in a tragic accident leaving behind their 13-year-old son. The regular pitfalls of parenthood are magnified when paired with polyamorous new parents, evolving powers, and the well-meaning but misguided neighbors of Evermorre.

tags: queer (f/m/m, m/m), suburban fantasy, family, dual pov, 90s setting, adoption, period typical ideologies, coming of age, found family, platonic soulmates, taylor swift inspired, conan gray inspired, overprotective parents, c-ptsd, hurt/comfort, angst, wip, also i stole joyce and hopper from stranger things because they don't deserve them

content warnings: death, child abuse (implied, referenced, and explicit via flashbacks), period typical mentalities, mental health issues and discussion, sex scenes fade to black in main chapters and post separately as one shots

playlist || pinterest || tumblr tag

chapter one: in the quiet of the night

[messer3ghost]

killing me

James doesn’t like the idea of holidays anymore, not since the war, he usually would be happy that today is halloween, dressing up and being around friends and all that, that should be James. But he isn’t.

Don’t get him wrong he’s grateful that Lily and Harry are safe, that after all they are together as a family, but it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t sad that his son won’t be able to experience this time of the year. Lily is trying her best to cheer him up, bless her, he wouldn’t know what to do without her, she’s the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

She insisted that they dress up anyway, and as they couldn’t go out they decided on more casual costumes. James is Shaggy from scooby do, Lily is Vilma and Harry is Scooby. He didn’t even know the show existed until Lily (rather dramatically) told him that he was crazy for not knowing the show, she apparently forgot that besides all his charming characteristics he’s still a pureblood.

So there he is now, sitting in his sofa with his wife and son, they’re both falling asleep in James arms, the show they were watching forgotten. He kissed Lily’s temple "we should go to sleep soon" to which only earned for her to snuggle more closely into his arms, taking a very sleeping Harry with her "ten more minutes" at which James laughed but didn’t complain.

The sudden sound of the doorbell snap them out of the moment, both of them looking at each other in worry "don’t panic, I’ll go you stay here, it must be dumbledore" he didn’t know if he said those words to confort Lily or him. Still he stood up from the sofa, wand forgotten somewhere, and walked to the door.

Peter?

You're killin' me You're not makin' it easy Too busy deceivin' and cheatin' and lyin' and competin'

"hey James" suddenly all his worries forgotten somewhere in his brain when his best friend said those words. That didn’t make him curious though.

"hey Pete, what are you doing here so late, are you okay?" he could se as he’s best friends eyes suddenly filled with tears "Peter?" he was beginning to reach out to hug him when he saw it, the one he was hiding from, the one who took away his friends, his family, and apparently he’s comed for his life too. But Peter, oh peter, that means he betrayed him, one of the only persons he thought he wouldn’t, his best friend since he was five.

"James I��m so sorry, please believe me"

I love you bad, that's the problem occurrin' Better love I deserve, and I'm hurtin' But sadly, I worship every moment we meet

"Lily take Harry and run"

[bothsides11]

I did this drawing like a year ago? after reading the book I think?

[beggingwolf]

for the wip game i'd love to know more about omega/omega age gap fic!!!!!

okay okay okay so the conceit of this is, as it so often is, there's some contractual breeding or bonding program that omegas have to participate in for the league; Sid, though, bucked tradition and refused to participate. also, as a result, he actually lives in a half-jerry-rigged "apartment" in the arena itself. much younger omega Zhenya then joins the Penguins and Sid takes him under his wing.

Zhenya ran away from Russia to get out of a breeding-rights contract, and Sid is under the impression that Zhenya, too, wants to forego any breeding programs. they start getting closer, pulled together by being omegas in the same league, and things start leading to each other... and they start sleeping together and comforting each other and Sid is about to be doused in metaphorical ice water when he learns that Zhenya agreed to be part of the NHL's program when he signed with the Penguins.

[cherrychapati]

my silly little playlists

sad but not i wanna die sad

a half-full jar of honey

everything IS a love language

i support gay wrongs

i need you and you aren't here!

life offers up these moments of joy

happy soft new year

rnb is back, baby

going on a date

non-stop talking about your crush

a soft love, not so much falling as floating

being the slutty tattoo artist of your dreams

lucid dreaming

solo bedroom dance party