#complicated as fuck design but honestly this is so fun to paint i want to draw him more

[madspeed]

painted a quick nahobino between class and work

[feng-shui71]

Wait, so how did Wesker turn? When did he turn, Would he be considered an ancient vampire? Would he later turn Jordan, or does he take the "no, you're better as a human" route? How does he decorate his castel?

You said Vampire Jordsker AU and I jumped to your inbox

Holy shit oomf I did NOT think too far ahead about this au I was just watching Hotel Transylvania high as fuck and thought Drac was hot and then my dumbass brain went holy shit Vamp Wesker… I’m rubbing my hands so hard rn thank you god for sending this. First Vamp! Jordsker post is here for a little exposition, if you haven’t seen it already.

In my Vamp! Au I don’t envision Wesker to be a human-turned-vampire, or even a Dhampir. Considering how he is in the regular Resident Evil universe, a self-proclaimed “god” with superior anatomy and superhuman abilities, I believe the Vampire! Au equivalent of this would be him being a pure Vampire, a cruel and ancient being whos bloodlust knows no bounds, a literal god in this instance. Definitely is a local myth within the Arklay Mountains, signs are strewn around the outskirts of the forest, warning unknowing visitors to stay away at all costs, lest they want to be mauled and have their souls stolen by this beast. Of course, nobody ever listens to those and he gets a free dinner all the time.

As for Jordan, in the Vamp! Au they’re way more complicated than regular Jordsker, exes that hate each other with all of their being yet can’t get enough of one another (this is deadass their worst timeline). Jordan is a vampire hunter here, so most of the time she’s trying to hunt down and kill Wesker, whereas he likes to toy with her and use her for a free snack. I think for a while he doesn’t really care/doesn’t give much thought to her mortality, the fact that he’ll outlive her, it’s an afterthought considering she keeps trying to stake him all the time. However as she starts to get older, starting to move slower, it’s harder for her to recover after a bite, It dawns on him. He mulls over it for a few days before he approaches her, no mocking chase, no horny aggression, his cold hand coming up to caress her cheek as he proposes the idea of turning her into one, I mean, he always knew he could’ve but he loved the adrenaline that comes with each chase, tearing open her fragile skin with his bare hands and tossing her around like a ragdoll, it was much more fun messing around with her knowing she could so easily die if he applied just a tad bit more force, ever the sadist, he liked the risk. But now, it was getting old, and honestly, a bit pitiful, she looked much, much more busted and blue recently, might as well settle down, to which Jordan obliges. Not like she had a choice anyway, unlike regular Wesker, Vampire! Wesker has an absolutely shit moral compass and would force it upon her anyway, head shoved aside as the surface of her neck is exposed to him, the sight always made his teeth, fangs specifically, ache, so fucking bad. He’d turn her and force her to live with him at his castle, god forbid she keeps trying to reject him, which, she will. He’d have an “If I can’t have you, Nobody can” mentality and kill her, playing hard to get is fun but it gets to a point darling!

Also as for his castle I think the design would be pretty similar to this ask here. Specifically the Re5 Wesker interior design bit, the Gothic designs would be much more abundant within Vamp! Wesker’s abode, everything would have ornate details ranging from a simple mirror with an intricate design engraved into the wooden frame (he’s so extra btw you don’t need that you can’t see your reflection) to an entire ballroom decorated wall to wall with red black and white furniture, a massive chandelier hanging from the top to match. Guy probably has something similar to the Sistine Chapel ceiling painted all over his walls.

[stinklebug]

feel like talking about my robot ocs (sort of? it's kind of complicated for two of them. you'll see), so here's some stuff about them! :]

angel (halo/ae/wing) (named after angel's food cake) (technically a self-insert, but also not really? not sure where the line is drawn in this case, honestly...)

halo is a defective va-ser that barely managed to escape from qa-1mil by pure chance. halo went into hiding afterwards, not wanting to get, y'know, Killed for just having fucked up pain processors.

wing's a yellow va-ser that's covered in chicken scratch. most of it is notes for wings various stories that wing wants to write someday. the scrolling text on wings midsection changes in accordance with whatever wing is currently doing (e.g. if wing is talking about something wing likes a lot, the text changes to something like, "rambling about bullshit").

ae likes to collect and wear button-up shirts. ae has to ruin most of them in the process (well, more than they were Already ruined, anyways, considering that ae finds them in the trash), though

at some point, angel meets the next oc(?) i'll be talking about, and the two have stuck together ever since. :]

dev (it/her) (named after devil's food cake) (technically not an oc, but also kind of an oc?)

it's...the decaf bot! in the metal! it's been hiding out ever since That Whole Thing.

she's a pgr-0101, but her appearance has been heavily (self) modified. she's blue instead of green, and the gold strips reminiscent of zanzo's coat have been torn off. her visor displays a pair of eyes when she has it on, rather than the regular squares. said eyes change to reflect her emotions.

similar to angel, it likes to wear clothes! specifically, it wears a torn up cloth lab coat that's covered in spray paint, alongside a fanny pack that's also covered in paint

gngr (he/she) nori's (the head of production in my au, escapism) assistant! he was built by xem a few years back for a school assignment. xe kept them around because xe needed someone that would always be there, looking out for them

since she was built to, essentially, be a caretaker, she knows how to cook, she cleans, is a shoulder to cry on...y'know, all that Stuff.

he has a screen for a face, which he displays emoticons (e.g. :D, :(, :P) on. he can also put text on it!

now, the next four aren't humanoid in any way. they're like the kem-0n0 and vu-t0r1. but i wanted to talk about them, and they Are robots that I Made, so! it's also important to note that they only exist within my au, escapism, because they were designed by the head of R&D in said au, sunny

LEO-031 the LEO-031 was designed to be the ultimate bodyguard. they're quick, strong, and practically unbreakable! well, unless you have fists of steel that are strong enough to break sunny's improved version of z-shielding, known as SP 100, which most people do not.

they're sold to the public, and the department heads and the ceo himself all have one of their own! the models sold to the public differ from those that were given to the heads and ceo by sunny, as theirs were designed to be specifically for them.

they look like a robotic lion with a small mane. their mane becomes more prominent when they feel they/their owner is being threatened

LEN-N31 the LEN-N31 is the smaller, friendlier sibling of the LEO-031. they are the ultimate companion! they're soft, lovable, and entirely non-lethal! however, that doesn't mean that they're weak! they're just as sturdy as their siblings, and are waterproof, so you can have fun in the pool and the rain!

they're very good at cohabitating with others, so if you have other pets, they'll get along swell! they even come equipped with emergency response systems in case you or any of your loved ones are in danger.

they're one of, if not the most popular unit sold by vandelay technologies!

they look like a robotic lion cub.

PACK-13 the PACK-13 was designed to be the ultimate tracker and is excellent at hunting down groups. this is because it itself is a group of robots, which all combine into one massive mech.

unlike its predecessors, the LEO-031 and LEN-N31, it's made entirely of solid steel. no soft fur or cutesy appearance here; just a mechanical machine built to hunt...and kill. its bite is strong enough to break through bone.

it is not intended for public use.

it looks like a giant mechanical wolf. the separate units look similar, just, well, smaller.

L0N3-WLF the L0N3-WLF was designed to be the second ultimate tracker and is excellent at hunting down singular targets. its a smaller, quicker, singular version of the PACK-13.

sent out less often compared to its siblings, but that doesn't mean it's not as capable. somewhat concerningly, there are some reports of L0N3-WLF units getting in the way of PACK-13s...but that's probably just some weird malfunction.

it is not intended for public use.

it looks almost the same as a single unit that makes up the PACK-13, but slimmer and sleeker.

[spirals-within-spirals]

Reason Why Lyrren is Fucking Awful #2: the League

Getting this one out of the way now, because I know very well I'll get people who are like "Yeah, but it's worth it! H4rdc0r3!" because travelling one of the most fucking remote and dangerous regions in the world is fine if it lets you take part in, as that one fucking mewtuber called it "The Secret Hardcore League They Don't Want You to Know About!"

Can you tell I'm peeved about this part?

Like everything, the reality is more complicated. Lyrren's league is hard, yeah, but especially for foreigners it's not a kind of difficulty that's any kind of fun.

First of all, the league is deeply important to Lyrren in many ways. For one it's part of their Journey, which is significantly more significant there than it is elsewhere. The paper I read estimated that something like 80% of people there go on one at 15. I shouldn't need to mention that that's a truly ridiculous number, the statistics I've dug up for Sinnoh are closer to half that. Back home it's pretty important too yeah, but in Lyrren it's considered a major milestone in their life, the transition from childhood to adulthood, and evolved directly from a literal pilgrimage.

And there was I, blundering in because I thought it sounded fun.

The sheer fucking vibes of "YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE" in every step of my journey there did a number on me, even without all the straight-up xenophobia. I'm honestly surprised they even let foreigners participate, might just be because they don't have a way to legally differentiate us from locals.

The second way is very literal. Lyrren is one of the few nations that still has League Rule absolutism, AKA the league is the government. It also serves as an absolutely spectacular argument against that form of government because holy fuck. It's about as competent in governing as you'd expect for a bunch of people selected for their battling skills. Way it got that way is a long story but let's just say there was a massive power vacuum, and the league was the only entity capable of even vaguely filling it.

So, an exercise for the reader. You are the head of the Elite Four. Your region has been torn apart by war, the champion is dead and no one has replaced them yet, the government is essentially gone and you've somehow found yourself the closest thing your region has to a leader. What is the first thing you do?

Cement your own power by any means that won't get the population to revolt, of course. If someone manages to climb their way through the league and beat you, they'll become your boss, and we can't have that. There has not been a champion of Lyrren in almost fifty years.

As a result of that philosophy, I've seen gym regulation in Lyrren summed up as "don't let too many trainers through." Not joking, they have one guy, and his only job is to make sure the gyms aren't too easy. And like, yes, the gyms are very difficult because of that, but not in the way other regions are. Leagues elsewhere are meant to be a challenge, but in the end it's intended that a competent trainer be able to progress through it. Lyrren's league exists to stop people from reaching its elite. It's designed to be unfair. Plus there's an age-old law against anyone with under 8 badges even setting foot on Ticsi Island, the home of the league. Which is also the seat of their fucking government. Do you smell the corruption yet?

As for the gym battles themselves, while their standards for each badge are significantly higher than most places (gym leader I challenged for the first badge had a fucking Metang), difficulty spikes and dips because the leaders decide themselves what mons they want to use for which level, doesn't matter to the league as long as not too many people get through, and apart from using weaker mons they do not fucking go easy on you. 6v6 battles from badge 2, I almost lost that one because the gym leader used several techniques I'm pretty sure would be illegal anywhere else, including painting the walls with horrific war imagery and revealing it mid-battle.

Also, because gyms are, like most things in Lyrren, handled almost entirely locally the gyms themselves can be... strange. The gym puzzle of Chaca City involves fighting a gym trainer. Like, not with pokémon. Steel-type specialists too, I didn't even dare to try. Watched it a bit, but there's only so much of adults beating up teens you can take. On top of that, apparently gym leaders often look at how you complete the puzzle to determine who they rig the match against if they need to get some wins to pump up their stats, and also whoop for me because being a foreigner pretty much automatically puts you on that list.

So let me walk you though a few steps of my hell. I arrived in Xochi City, the only port in Lyrren that allows foreign ships, and went straight to its gym, grass type. Take most of the day to finish the puzzle, a maze where you need to answer questions I assume are obvious to the Lyrrenese but I had no clue about, before getting to the leader. Fun fact: Lyrrenese badges are not internationally recognized, but apparently Lyrrenese gyms can decide to recognize international ones if they want to? Not sure if that's how it works or if he was just fucking with me. So there I was, seven-badger from Sinnoh cluelessly walking into an eighth-badge match. Another fun fact: in an eighth-badge match, Lyrrenese gym leaders are required to use their personal teams. Yet another fun fact: the gym leader of Xochi City used to be an Elite Four member. And as a side note, the Elite Four of Lyrren are sometimes called the Four Champions, and that's not an empty title.

So yeah. I got fucking annihilated. Didn't even beat his Ludicolo.

Like, I've gotten top 8 in the Lily of the Valley since then, and I still know I 100% would lose like a chump even now. From what I've read he's one of the three gym leaders people there make sure not to leave for last because their personal teams are nearly impossible to beat.

Sounds fair, right?

So let's say you make it past that. You're strong enough to get past eight gyms that are stacked against you and all the other fucking hurdles in your way (will get into more in later posts, but it's a lot), and you make it to the Spring's End Tournament. You just need to win that, and you get to challenge the Elite Four, and beat them and you become the champion of Lyrren. Hard, but possible right?

Well too bad, your journey ends there.

I could go into the caliber of trainer who participates in Spring's End (I recommend looking up recordings sometime, picture quality's shit but the battling is not), but I don't need to. Of the four foreign participants in Spring's End I've been able to find concrete evidence of, three were disqualified on the first day of the tournament for "poor sportsmanship" (read: We Don't Want You Here) and the last, some poor idiot from Unova, just straight up disappeared. I don't think they even bothered looking for the body. The league may not want anyone to have a fair shot at the championship, but, and I can't emphasize this part enough, no one wants a foreigner to become champion.

And for the record, the Elite Four matches are also incredibly stacked against the challenger. Once one is beaten the next steps in immediately to continue the fight, so not only do you have to beat four of the strongest trainers in the world, you need to beat them in a row without resting. Apparently a good two thirds of challengers lose to the first, and there's like three occurrences of anyone beating the second. The third crushed all of them within minutes of stepping onto the field. Frankly I seriously doubt any trainer alive could take on that challenge unless they got a high legend or something to join them.

So yeah. I'd call it less of a hardcore challenge, more butting in on a century-old tradition centered around a fucking mess of a system that's had a hatchet taken to it in order to fuck it up even further. Still sound worth it?

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[purplesurveys]

1221

Are you mad at your best friend right now? I have absolutely no reason to be angry with Angela now and certainly not since our last petty childhood fight in like, 2009.

Do you know anybody with a pet snake? I used to know somebody, but she’s since gone off the radar and idek if her pet snake would still be alive at this point.

Do you buy your underwear in a pack or seperately? I can go either way.

Have you ever made fun of anybody and later became their friend? OMG yesss this was the entire background of my friendship with Sofie. Though I wouldn’t say I made fun of her...I just found her really annoying at first, and quite ditzy, too. Then something just clicked and worked out along the way and we ended up being best friends for quite some time until we went our separate ways shortly after college life started.

Is the lamp on in the room you're in? Yes; it’s one of my favorite pieces in my room.

Do you have a pair of shoes that you can only wear with one or two outfits? Nah, not really. I mostly own sneakers, which can go with most things casual.

Is there any drink that you absolutely MUST drink cold? Most drinks, honestly; but mainly, I like my coffee and water cold.

Did you sleep in past noon today? I don’t think I’ve ever done that. The latest I’ve woken up is probably a little over 10.

Did your grandma ever tell you about her love life? Neither of them have.

Have you ever painted anybody's nails aside from your own? Possibly, but I no longer recall it.

Anything exciting happening in the month of September? I don’t think so. There are couple of birthdays in the family, but we don’t have plans for those days yet.

Who is your last missed call from? Some media or blogger I ignored because I don’t take calls.

When was the last time you ate Frosted Flakes? I can’t remember...I don’t really eat cereal.

Did you ever NOT want a substitute in a certain class? Yeah, for classes I hated, like math.

Do you ever donate to the less fortunate? Not regularly. When a homeless person or street child knocks on my car while waiting in traffic I do try to give them some money and/or snack, if I have one in my bag.

Did you buy an American flag after 9/11 to put on your car/house/ whatever? I was barely conscious in 2001. I am also not American.

Do you know any songs that are older than you are? ...Many?

Are there framed pictures of you anywhere in your house? Yeah we have some framed photos going up the staircase. I also have my Prep graduation portrait up in my room.

Compared to other people of your age would you be considered 'NORMAL'? Ugh.

Honestly, do you have any Hilary Duff on your MP3 player? I don’t have an MP3 player but I don’t think I ever had Hilary Duff on any of my music players.

Who is worst in your family about calling people back? Probably Nina as she hates making calls to begin with.

Do you like peanut M&M's? Nah, I hate nuts in my chocolate.

When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Safe to say well over a year ago. It’s not my snack of choice haha I never understood why I had to bite into my ice cream.

When was the last time you ate jelly beans? August 2019.

When was the last time you had hot chocolate? Around a month ago, I’d say? My mom fixes me a mug of hot choco every once in a while.

Have you ever caught a friend cheating on their bf/gf? I haven’t.

What was the last song stuck in your head? I think it had been Rain by BTS.

Do you enjoy doing math? If I know how the math works and have the formulas memorized, I can definitely find it fun. Math had actually been pretty manageable for me in school, at least right until we reached trig and calc which were just bleck.

Do you think your mom has secrets she’s never told you? Oh without a doubt. I’m 200% sure everyone in the family has secrets we never share; we’re not open with each other.

Do you own anything you don’t want your parents to know about? Yes.

Do you pose in your pictures or just smile? I will pose if I’m comfortable but most of the time I just smile.

Are there any colors you will NOT wear? I avoid orange as much as possible.

Do you use scented soap in the shower? Nah, just a normal-scented one.

Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? That was never part of my plans, no. 

Who was the last person you danced with? Enjoyable? Angela and Hans. I was drunk, so yes I had fun lol.

Do you like convertibles? I don’t really care for them, or for cars in general.

Have you ever yelled at the television? So many times, usually when a favorite singer or band is performing OR when I’m watching a really intense sports game - usually basketball or wrestling.

How many songs on your MP3 player are about sex? -

Do you like water parks? I think they are nasty for the most part.

Dark or light colored jeans? Light.

Can you take apart a computer and name all the parts? Nope.

Can you take apart a car and name all the parts? Even more so no.

Would your friends describe you as nerdy? I don’t think they would.

How many different colors are you wearing right now? Five.

Have you ever purchased a lotto ticket? Nope.

--

Are you double-jointed anywhere? I am not.

What is the longest amount of time you've spent playing Monopoly? You know, I’ve never even understood the rules of Monopoly...I’ve never bothered to play a round of it. Board games are usually too complicated for me lol.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado first-hand? Not a tornado, no. But I’ve experienced countless hurricanes and floods.

Did you play in the sand box as a kid? It was my favorite part of the playground and I was always exclusively found in a sandbox. I liked the texture (still do) + no one was ever there, so as a shy kid it worked out perfectly for me.

How about on the monkey bars? I tried it every now and then but I wasn’t a very active kid, so my arms would feel strained fairly quickly. It was never the first thing I’d run to whenever I got to go to the playground.

Have you ever made an alarm go off? I don’t think so.

Have you ever colored your eyebrows? Nope.

Did you ever own a pop-up book? Many of them, as a kid.

Have you ever honked at a biker? Yes but only whenever they swerve a little bit and are about to hit my car.

Have you ever taken another person's prescribed medication? No?

Have you ever played golf (not miniature golf)? No, I’ve played neither version. The sport doesn’t interest me.

Do you use gel in your hair? Only for formal events where I can’t afford to show up with my hair all frizzy.

Do you own a garden gnome? We don’t.

Are any of the rooms in your house painted blue? Nope, they’re all white. My parents’ room used to be green (came with the house), but it looked gross so it didn’t take long before they hired someone to paint the walls white.

Do you kick off your shoes as soon as you walk in the door? Yes. Actually, since the start of COVID, we’ve taken to removing our shoes even before we enter. We have a mat right by the front door where we can properly take off our shoes and head inside already barefoot.

Have you ever judged a book by its cover? Sometimes, but I don’t let it linger.

What is the most effective device at the gym? I don’t go to the gym.

Can you drive a stick shift? Hahahaha no, and I’m not so sure I’m ever willing to learn.

Have you ever picked on a substitute teacher? That’s mean and no, I haven’t.

How good are you at giving directions? Terrible. As much as possible I don’t do it and just refer the person asking to my nearest friend/companion.

When was the last time you looked out the window nearest you? Just a few minutes ago, actually. I put an arm out to check if it’s chilly outside since it rained all day today.

Have you ever got dressed with the windows open? Never. I make sure to pull down my blinds every time.

Have you ever given a foot massage? No.

Do public restrooms freak you out? They don’t freak me out per se but like I rarely go into them and use them, even before Covid. The idea of sharing a toilet with strangers is super gross lol and many of them don’t even put away their trash properly.

Have you ever taken a shower outside? I may have, but nothing sticks out.

Have you ever been to a junkyard? I don’t think so.

What do you think of Brad Pitt? I don’t really have an opinion...I loved his episode on Friends, but that’s it.

Have you ever watched the History Channel willingly? Yes, a few times.

Have you ever used pennies to pay for something that cost over 50 cents? I don’t speak US currency, but yeah there’ve been around 1-2 times I had to pay for something worth P50 with just coins. It’s always been embarrassing lol so I try to avoid it and be prepared with paper bills as much as I can.

If a place makes you pay for delivery - do you still tip the driver? Yes.

Without the aid of a cell phone - do you know your parents numbers by heart? Just my mom’s. Since my dad is always in and out of the country (at least until the pandemic), I’ve never gotten to memorize his number.

Can you name 10 former presidents? Arroyo, Macapagal, Aquino, another Aquino, Estrada, Ramos, Magsaysay, Quirino, Quezon, Roxas.

But if we’re talking about US presidents...Obama, Trump, Clinton, Roosevelt, another Roosevelt I believe, Nixon, Reagan, Carter, Lincoln, Washington. I hope I got them right hahaha.

Have you ever bought a gift for a teacher? Just as a kid.

Is your bedroom carpeted? Nope.

Right now, what color is your tongue? Pink.

When was the last time you had a Tootsie Pop? Years ago. I don’t have it a lot.

If you could get the cell phone of your choice - what would it be? iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Who is your favorite super hero? I don’t have any.

How about your favorite villain? I don’t really have any, either.

Do you know anybody who works at a bank? Possibly, but I can’t place a name right now.

What do you usually order from your favorite fast food place? That would be KFC, and I usually order either their Zinger or Twister. FUCK now I want to get KFC :((

Do you hand out candy to kids on Halloween? No, because none of them ever reach this part of the village. We never have to prepare any candy lol.

What perfume/cologne do you wear the most? Heat Rush.

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? I always miss out on one or two.

Does the early bird really catch the worm? Idk what this expression is.

[safflowerseason]

I’m eagerly anticipating your OC rewatch commentary on the end of S2 (particularly the entire Trey storyline) because 1. I just got done watching it myself and 2. I was struck by a lot of different things, mainly how the seriousness of marissa’s attack was swept under the rug and what a poor job they did exploring the aftermath of everything that happened in early S3

Whew, you sent this in weeks ago, and I finally got around to watching the last stretch of S2 and the first episode of S3. I was visiting home for a few weeks and didn’t have the time for serious critical television viewing of The OC (not exactly a show my parents would be into…we watched the second season of Succession instead. GOD, talk about a season finale.)

Anyway, the end of S2 for The OC. 

Maybe it’s the general pandemic-related low-grade angst that's filtering everything right now, but honestly I just thought this whole storyline was so fucking sad. It was just so depressing to watch in 2020. All of it. Trey attempts to rape Marissa and it’s clearly a plot device the writers came up with to tell us more about Trey—it’s a sign that, unlike Ryan, he can’t fight off his violent demons and emotional instability and get his life together. He’s painted as this tragic figure that we, at the end of the day, are meant to sympathize with. He’s someone who could have been better than a guy who tries to rape his brother’s girlfriend, but he ultimately was not. He thought she was into him, after all—he just misread her signals. So Marissa just becomes the ultimate sign of his moral failing, an object in a bigger fight between brothers. Ryan tells Seth that even though he wanted to kill Trey, now that Trey has been shot, he still wants him around. He ends 3.01 mourning the loss of his brother in the arms of the woman that brother tried to rape. Honestly the whole thing just depressed the fuck out of me, that systemic sexual violence against women was (and is) still treated as easy dramatic plot fodder because that’s just how things are. I am not saying that Ryan couldn’t have complicated feelings about his brother’s place in his life once he learned what happened—or even that true redemption does not exist—but this show is so not equipped to wade into those morally complex waters. 

I think the show did a decent job of showing Marissa’s personal trauma in the immediate aftermath--ugh, the scene where she and Ryan are kissing and she’s picturing Trey, so horrible and real--and it was heartbreaking to watch her struggle with the burden of keeping what happened to her a secret. But of course ultimately it’s still about Ryan, about how she can’t tell anyone because she knows he’ll try to kill Trey. And then once she shoots Trey, the attempted rape is nothing compared to that fact. Does Marissa even mention it? It only matters to the prosecutor as a potential motive for Ryan, whom he’s trying to pin the crime on because apparently it doesn’t look good to prosecute a rich white girl (I think??? The legal nonsense is already too much). The shooting is a much more defining experience for everyone involved. Julie is deeply concerned that Marissa’s future is ruined because she shot someone. What about the psychological damage from the time Ryan’s brother held her down against her will and tried to rape her? That kind of trauma can absolutely fuck up a person’s life if left unaddressed. Where is the insistence Marissa go to therapy now?! She should go even if she had only shot someone, and not been attacked! I can’t with any of it, and it was only the first episode of S3. 

As for the other plot lines, Kelly Rowan turned in an incredible performance as Kirsten reaching a state of complete emotional collapse, and I can’t fucking believe she did not win any awards. Sandy came off as a patronizing asshole for a lot of that storyline? He was so morally hoity-toity about their communication issues and her drinking. I am very glad the comic-book storyline is over because it was truly dragging down S2 (sorry Zach, you were a very poor replacement for Luke Ward…although I did laugh at the line “I’m a water polo player! We’re always the bad guys!”) It’s supposed to be the lighter comedic storyline threading through these last few episodes, but it falls so flat, which is another reason S2 just feels so heavy and serious and basically no fun at all. 

In general I continued to just be very unimpressed with the writing and narrative construction this season. Why was Caleb so invested in marrying Julie only to basically ignore her for the entire season and then dilly-dally over divorcing her? Julie decides to kill him, then…oh wait, she doesn’t! Then he dies! Apparently Ryan is the father of Theresa’s baby?! The Miami episode is just a weak retread of the Vegas episode in S1! Is no one going to tell Lindsay that her dad died? Side characters like Lance and Jess were so poorly conceived. They’re just narrative chaos agents designed to do whatever the plot needs, for no coherent reason, and it’s so infurating after the grounded storylines of S1 (truly, both of them act like psychopaths in order for the story to get where it needs to go...although maybe in Jess’s case she is supposed to an actual psychopath). What is this nonsensical plot construction. Ugh, I am sorry I am such a downer on this season, but…it’s kind of a downer of a season!

I do love the sailing/beach montage in 3.01. And the intervention scene is genuinely powerful. 

[axclfms]

hllo demons n space cowboys !! i’m sage  comin 2 u live frm the est tz with a v red dash icon tht i can’t be bothered to change atm .   anyways  ,  shimmies shoulders  im v v excited to be here with my child axel  so let me just diiiiive right into her ! pls hit me up or spank tht lil heart if you’d like to plot and i’ll come runnin. 

「charlotte d’alessio & cisfemale」⇾ medici , axel, the junior radcliffe student’s records show that she is a scorpio and 20 years old. she is studying fine arts & photography, living in noland and can be passionate, magnetic, heedless & addictive. when i see her i am reminded of catfishing passport photos, shoplifting out of pure boredom & empty film canisters used as pill holders . ⇽

alrite first things first HERE is her pinterest ,  feel free to skip all the junk below  & just vibe check her

BACKGROUND

born & raised in southlake, tx  to oliver & pearl medici

they were high school sweethearts who were voted most likely to get married and have a dozen kids running around

they stopped at 2 bc they just .. their kids were a handful  . . . but axel will tell you they stopped after her bc they hit perfection :~)

the medici’s come from a long line of politicians  &  are all associated with the political world in one form or another  

her father dreamt of becoming president  &  honestly was beginning to climb his way there

started off by getting elected as mayor  &  then from mayor went onto join the state’s senate & was working on his campaign for governor of tx

axel & her older brother adored their father & played their part , knowing that even the smallest mistake cld wreck their dad’s way to the top... even if it didn’t matter now, if he were to run his presidential campaign they would surely be digging for anything to take him down .  aside frm some partying & drinking , they never did anything too too wild

her brother ended up going to yale for college, not wanting to be too far from him but wanting a break from her parents  &  texas  ,  axel applied to radcliffe bc she knew the ivy life wasn’t for her

and something about radcliffe’s history drew her in

last year right before midterms , axel got a phone call tht turned her world upside down .  her dad had gotten into a car accident.  after getting rushed to the ER, he ended up dying from complications in surgery.  he was in the early stages of his campaign for governor & was on his way to meet his team.

it was ruled as an accident &  that seemed to be that on that. & everyone went ahead and moved on with their lives

axel still wants to believe that there was foul play in her father’s death mainly bc she wants to blame someone

frm her eyes her mom n brother have healed without any trouble. her brother had gone back to school, graduated from yale and jetted off to south africa with his new gf where they were working for a non profit . her mom had started dating someone new within six months.

PERSONALITY

the whole thing has taken an impact on her n she’s just ... a lot more darker or wilder nw. think bradley martin frm bates motel or marissa cooper frm the oc

was probably head of social committee and heavily involved in the school. was also a cheerleader but went to practice high as balls one too many times , and eventually got kicked off the team.

lost a bet & graffiti’d the school building , got ratted out and spent a month of her summer doing community service and picking up trash.

if you knew her during freshman year and half of sophomore year ,  she is probably a completely different person nw.

pops xanax like they’re vitamins , is constantly day drunk , always has a flask hidden in a designer purse. has low key developed a little bit of a coke habit

rly good at putting on a facade of perfection when she needs to but truly feels like she has nothing left to lose so she says whatever pops into her mind, likes to stir up trouble when she’s bored n has rly just turned into a firecracker n is jus kinda.. ruthless nw

wld hit on someone’s dad out of pure boredom 

uses sex as an outlet to feel in control, to feel good , to feel wanted

only thing that she’s still passionate about is art and photography .

photography inspo is probably sarahbahbah , where she likes to shoot things in series with a film vibe to it.

catch her walking around with hints of paint on her hands , not sleeping bc she’s trying to perfect her latest piece

always sketching or doodling , probably has a film camera slung around her neck or dangling frm her wrist

human embodiment of the cherry & wilted rose emoji

big on skin care and doing face masks and only says ‘self love’ ironically. usually after she spins herself into chaos

big aesthetic would b phoebe tonkin lookin sad and depressed at the farmer’s market carrying around flowers 

ok that is all i got .... ty for prowling thru this if u did. also she is a fairly new muse of mine so if ... she ends up changing once she hits the dash MIND UR BUSINESS alskslks jkkk

WANTED CONNECTIONS

we love angst & fictional toxicity over here! hit me w any & all of ur toxic wcs

a good influence for her

someone who she used to be bff’s with but shut them out when everything went down and now it’s just ... awkward between them

someone who she didn’t get along with before but now they’re pals

unlikely friends!

a ride or die friendship

a confidant .. hit me with those 12 am late night heart to hearts with no filter NO CAP!

someone who ratted her out for vandalizing

hook ups  wld be fun ! tinder matches, one night stands etc. 

someone who axel just completely fucked over in some way (romantic or platonic) 

truly anything i am dwn for ! thnk u and good night

[tlbodine]

A Plea for Some Non-Cringe Native American Representation

There’s something that has bothered me for a real long time, and I haven’t said anything because it didn’t really feel like my place to say it. But if pasty white folks across the country will insist on continuing to make these books and comics and movies, then I guess this pasty white girl can make a plea to do it better. 

So. Here’s the deal. Native American representation in fiction sucks. 

We’re going to talk about why, and then talk about some ways you can do it better. And it’s going to take a while, so join me under the cut. 

PROBLEM #1: Erasure 

The first problem with First Nations people being represented in fiction is that it, uh...doesn’t happen very often. It’s pretty rare for a show or movie or book to have a Native character, and even rarer for that character to exist without being a vehicle/mouthpiece for some kind of hamfisted message. 

And, of course, Native characters who do show up in movies are sometimes played by non-Native actors, which is just. Um. 

somebody fucking kill me I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. 

PROBLEM #2: The Same Stock Character Over and Over and Over 

There’s this weird thing where TV shows have A Very Special Native American Episode(tm) where a Native American character shows up in a storyline designed to, idk, provide a tidy outlet for the viewer’s white guilt or something. I see this a lot in superhero stories for...some reason: 

Batman and Chief Screaming Eagle (ok, it was the 1960s, surely things have gotten better right? oh...) who’s butting heads with a villain over a bad contract for, uh, the chief’s ancestral lands

There was the Buffy episode “Pangs” where a Chumash vengeance spirit is the villain-of-the day after being disturbed by some construction (and this is honestly one of the better treatments of the premise, at least the episode is well-written) 

There was the Smallville episode with Kyla Willowbrook, the Kawatche Skinwalker (I know, I know) who for bonus points dies tragically in Clark’s arms (I KNOW) and who was deeply concerned with...with some construction...disturbing her sacred homesite...(this is starting to sound familiar)

And then there was The Flash episode where Barry is forced to fight with the complicated-yet-tragically-evil Native American activist woman whose crimes involve stealing cultural artifacts that belong to to the museum (yes I’m screaming) and also murdering people...y’know, for vengeance and stuff. 

I could keep going but I really don’t think I have to. When your only representation of a culture is a character (frequently a smoking-hot member of the opposite sex to the hero) who is an ambiguous villain who is motivated by vengeance and/or justice over having their land/cultural artifacts disturbed, and who has a valid claim but is really going about it in the wrong way and whose tragic death and/or defeat really gives the white character something complex to think about for two seconds.... well. That’s more than a little racist. 

PROBLEM #3: These Are Not Your Stories to Tell 

You know what white people love doing? 

They love appropriating Native culture! Seriously! They love it! And who can blame them, really? Native people have so much rich symbolism and mythology and cool clothes and neat aesthetics. Painted war ponies and buckskin dresses and shapeshifters and monsters, oh my! Indian burial grounds and vengeful spirits (oh for fuck sake enough with the vengeful Indian trope)

But here’s the deal: 

The mythology you’re borrowing from belongs to a group of people who are still alive and sometimes practicing the religion you’re liberally reinterpreting 

There is no such thing as a “Native American” myth. You’re talking about literally hundreds of different tribes who are culturally distinct from one another and have their own complex histories of interaction, diplomacy, war, friendship, etc. with one another for centuries before white folk got here. You erase all of that when you treat Native culture as a grab-bag of cool things you can mix and match to your liking. 

Maybe, just a thought, stop it with the oppression narratives about activists and/or vengeful spirits who are real threatened by white people disturbing their homes? It’s not that there isn’t a lot to unpack in that -- I mean, white people really did conduct mass genocide against a race of people, for starters -- it’s just that this isn’t really your oppression narrative to tell. 

It seems to me that folks writing about Native Americans don’t actually have any idea what Native people are like? They either think of them as anachronistic figures, an extinct and ancient group, or they think of them as people really hung up on their cultural past. Because maybe people can’t think of anything to do with a Native character other than use it as a vocal mouthpiece of one very specific part of their cultural oppression.

But please. Please stop. That is every bit as stupid and racist as making a Black character who only talks about slavery, or a Jewish character who only talks about the Holocaust, or giving all of your gay characters AIDS. 

So what do you do instead? 

Writing Native Characters in a Way That Does Not Suck - A Quick Primer 

I can’t write a definitive guide on writing good Native representation, because there is no such guide, and if there were it would take a whole book probably, and I am not in any way even remotely an authority. 

But I can give you some pointers that will help you. 

(And to be honest, Native representation is so awful that the bar here is really super low, even just attempting a tiny bit is a really welcome breath of fresh air)

Choose a Tribe 

Step one: Figure out what kind of Native people you’re writing about. 

Because, as previously noted, Native People Are Not A Monoculture. 

How do you pick a tribe? Well, start with geography. Where do you want the story to take place? Obviously people move around, so you can find folks outside of their ancestral lands, but they all started someplace, and a lot of people live where their parents and grandparents and cousins all live. 

So where does your story take place? Pick a spot. Then find out what tribes live in that region. It’s not a secret. There are maps:

(Source: http://www.emersonkent.com/map_archive/native_american_tribes_map.htm) 

Or maybe you want to go about this in a different way. Maybe you have a specific story idea in mind and you want to write it in a way that would be accurate and respectful. Cool! A good first step on that is to figure out what tribe actually does the thing you’re wanting to write about. 

Skinwalkers, for example, originate in the Navajo Nation (Dine` people), although there are related myths from surrounding tribes in the area. 

If you’re writing a story about Wendigo, then you should know those myths originate with the Algonquin people of Quebec and Ontario.

If you’re writing something with spiritually significant buffalo, you should probably choose a culture that actually interacted with buffalo -- ie, a Plains Indian tribe like the Lakota-Sioux people. 

And so on and so forth. 

(Note that this is only the first step. You still have to do a lot of research after this to be sure you’re doing everything properly and respectfully. And, y’know, maybe reconsider if you actually want to tell a story respecting that mythology, or if you just want to sound cool and exotic) 

Also, personal preference: Please don’t make your characters Cherokee if you’re just going for “character with Native ancestry.” Please choose a different tribe. For a lot of complicated (and sometimes surprisingly racist) reasons, white people have been claiming Cherokee heritage for a long time, and even when it’s true, it feels cheap and cringey in fiction. If you want to tell a story about the Trail of Tears or something set in Tahlequa, Oklahoma, great! Write Cherokee characters! But if you just want a Native American character for other reasons...pick a different tribe. 

Choose a Name 

Fun fact: Modern Native people that you meet out on the street don’t have names like “Stands With Fists” or “Running Bear.”  

If you have an impulse to name your character any kind of descriptive “adjective + animal” name...just don’t. Please. And don’t go to BehindTheName or some other random site to pick out something that “sounds” Native. 

Names in other cultures are tricky. Some (but not all!) Native people may have a cultural tradition of having multiple names, including naming ceremonies (often as a rite of passage in adolescence). Some tribes have clan names. Everybody’s different. But these special names are culturally sensitive, often sacred, and are not a thing readily accessible to white people. White folks spent centuries trying to wipe out Indigenous people’s belief systems; they deserve to have some things kept private and sacred. 

So what I’m getting at here is that white writers really, really should not touch on the “Indian naming ceremony” trope at all if they can help it, because it’s gonna be real hard to get the details right, and getting the details wrong is going to make you sound like an ignorant racist. And most of the time, it’s not really that important to a story. 

Most contemporary Native people have regular English names. They may also have tribal names and clan names (that they may or may not share with outsiders). But lots of tribal members don’t, and that doesn’t make them any less Native. 

My recommendation for naming your Native characters? Find real people from the time period, tribe, and region you’re writing in. Find a phone book or newspaper from a town on or near a reservation for your chosen tribe. Look at names of participants in powwows. Look at the sports rosters for Native schools. Look at historical records like census data from the year you’re writing about. Don’t just make things up. 

** One Note: You know how “black” names are a thing? You encounter a similar sort of thing in some contemporary Native Americans. I grew up with a lot of kids who had “weird” names like Kirby, Sheriden, Baskerville, Sterling and Precious. (and by “weird” I mean “names middle-class white people don’t tend to use”). There’s also a lot of black-sounding names in Native populations. There’s some complex reasons behind this, and a lot of sociology of naming, and I won’t spend too much time on it right now but just...so you know. It’s a thing. 

Write a Human Being 

This really is the biggest thing, and it’s true of every writing you do, all the time, no matter what: Write a real person and not a caricature. 

Native people are people first. Their cultural heritage affects them the way anyone else’s culture does. The things they eat, wear, do, believe, the stories they know, etc. are all affected. But Native people don’t have a responsibility to be walking representatives of their tribes. And they definitely shouldn’t be a vessel for white guilt. 

(Fun fact: “Iron Eyes Cody,” maybe best known for the “Crying Indian” role in a commercial about pollution, was an Italian-American born  Espera Oscar de Corti) 

Here’s a really, really good article I found while working on this rant that might be of interest to you as wellas you set out on this quest:  https://mashable.com/2015/03/24/american-indians-tv/

I still have so much to say on this topic, and maybe I’ll write more in the future, but this is already very long so I’ll stop. I hope this has been at least a little bit helpful for y’all. Go forth and write non-terrible characters, I beg of you. 

*Disclaimer: I am not a Native person and do not claim any special knowledge or ownership of Native culture, and I beg you to please listen to Native voices when possible in your creative endeavors. I’m just a gal who happened to have spent most of my life living near reservations and growing up around Native people and having Native friends and being taught about historical cultures by my mother who has a degree in Southwest Studies and has done a lot of formal and informal research due to her own interests in the topic. 

If you found this article helpful at all, please consider dropping a tip in my tip jar.

I also have a book coming out! You can pre-order it now! It features a main character of mixed heritage, New Mexico reservation border towns, and zombies trying to get by like everybody else. 

Pre-Order now on B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/river-of-souls-t-l-bodine/1131956124

Or on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/River-Souls-T-L-Bodine/dp/1950305015

Or from the publisher: http://journalstone.com/bookstore/river-of-souls/?fbclid=IwAR14Qna5tMgWBV0We2uGSLreBkmyvZ5SoDAzPQpTKeFn4JR4PWSyKGl0VEo

Or add it to your Goodreads library: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46183381-river-of-souls

[illfoandillfie]

I think the sticker idea sounds wonderful! Even though you’d be monetizing on it, I feel like it’s less “all consuming” than any other way of monetizing on art cause I feel like it’s a little less serious maybe? That OF COURSE isn’t to say that there is no artistry involved in the process because there is, But you can, I feel, have a bit more freedom, and that’s just in the creative process, because the people I know that sell art in other forms, like prints for instance, have also had a WHOLE ordeal with that! A lot have to try various printing places to see which one they like most, or end up buying one of those crazy expensive, massive printers to do it themselves to get it just right, so I think the stickers is honestly a fantastic way to start, less complicated, more fun and more free! -shy anon

yeah, the way i’ve been thinking about it is like, each month i can design a new sticker sheet (probably based on whatever bujo theme i’m doing but whatever) and maybe some like individual stickers that are larger and then the rest of the month is just about filling orders which i can’t imagine will be too time consuming?? 

i’ve considered doing prints and stuff too but most of my art is related to my weekly bullet journal set ups rather than like actual paintings or whatever so it’s like ideal for transferring to stickers and stuff that other people can use in their planners and things. it’s something i could potentially expand into if i wanted to but it defs sounds a lot more complicated lmao

(i actually didnt think of a printer 😅 but id probs need one of them too cause for the last like 10 years or whatever ive just done any printing i needed to do at work on the school’s printer lmao)

but even if i didn’t start doing it myself i could use a website like redbubble that does all the printing/shipping for me. i have less control over it and idk what sort of materials they use (if i was doing it myself through etsy i’d try to use as much sustainable stuff as possible and actually last night i stumbled upon a company that produces recyclable shipping bags and customisable tissue paper and stuff which sound so fucking cute as well as being environmentally friendly!) but it would just mean i could design things, upload them and then not have to worry about it lmao

idk it’s defs something i’m considering and i might have a scout around over the boxing day sales and see what sort of a deal i could get on a printer or cricut machine 🤷‍♀️

but man, thinking about all this makes me want to buy my own place and like set up a little office so i don’t have to cram everything into my shitty bedroom kjskfjksfj (its not gonna happen any time soon, not until we get the house to a point where it could be sold but its the current Dream)

[thewhumpstuff]

You and I, Me and You [8]

@badthingshappenbingo​ [Original characters and content for prompt - Backhand Slap] Special thanks to @simplygrimly​ and @lettuceknighted​ for all their help and it was a lot! I feel like a child learning to walk and you guys held my hand throught this ;) --------------

[Teaser and Master List] [Archives of our Own] (You and I, Me and you: Chapter 9)

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Below the belt.

“Should’ve given me a chance if you really wanted to know. But you know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try try again.”. Her voice echoed in the cell and in his head. Jared clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes as she seemingly, threatened his life. Her words were blatant too and hurtfully so. She twisted the words he used to encourage her playfully. Not that she had any way to act on her words. Does she really want me dead, then? He looked down at the implement in his hand. And he hated her for being right. He could not simply channel the spirit of someone like Scarlett… Brutally, and yet, systematically thrashing a victim with a cane, especially an incapacitated one like Akira. Especially against Akira herself. It was not something Jared could pull off, not unless he absolutely had to. And he hated being in that situation, he had been there too many times.

But there were other things he could do… Death would merely be an unlikely sequela. In the end, it was an inevitability any way. He recognized that some part of his brain, did not quite reject that outcome as vehemently as it should have. He let the thought come… and go. No, I won’t let her take anything from me anymore. Besides, I’m better. Jared snorted. “Yeah? You wanna have a go… Shira?” She looked at him resolute, neck slightly craned to accommodate for the collar. Her eyebrows shot up with a certain eagerness. Tempers were smouldering. “You really are that curious, eh?” He answered by shoving his hand into his pocket, he clicked something, and the collar expanded. “The chain needs a valve, but the lock opens with a button…” She muttered with a mild fascination, it had enough room for her to wriggle it off her head, but it was heavy enough to require some effort.

He kept his distance and chuckled at her observation. “Didn’t expect us to employ designed theatrics?” A part of her could not fathom why he still insisted on associating himself with SpecSyn. It was her turn to slow clap. She beamed with mocking exaggeration. “Congratulations, my Red Knight! You have successfully risen to the level of your enemy. Because, honestly. SpecSyn does play nastier don't they? Either way, aren’t you proud?” Her accusation was against him as much as it was against the organization she had sworn her loyalty to. So she just decided that SpecSyn was nastier? Is that why she decided to simply stop doing her job? She really had a knack for killing the small joys he was trying to derive. The ghost of his chuckle echoed in the room. His palms were itching now. He dug his nails into them as he opened and closed his fist, stretching his fingers. “Go on then, get the shard, Akira, I’d hate for this to be one-sided.” Back to Akira instead of Shira. The sharper ache she had once felt at the loss of endearment, was much duller now.

She was tired, she was hungry, she was addled, and she was pissed. So, she leapt off her feet and flung herself at him. That was just insulting and pathetic. He had enough time and warning. His free hand wound towards the opposite shoulder, then it swung towards her face, once she was close enough. Smack. The combined momentum was enough for the impact of his knuckles and fingers to knock her back. Her face swivelled. Everything blurred. She panicked briefly, but he did not follow up with anything… yet, and gave her a chance to compose herself. Was he going to draw this out? Was this some perverse lesson? She gasped and stumbled backwards, carefully avoiding the smaller pieces of glass still on the floor. She held her ground. The sting of the slap felt intense enough to leave a lingering sense of numbness. Her ear rang a little. Her tongue jutted out to catch the trickle of blood that snuck out of the corner of her mouth, her lip split a little. Slowly, she righted her head to glare at him again. He had successfully evoked the feral in her. Never, had he struck her like that before. So, it was truly over then. This was it. At least, that is what it felt like. Her breathing was uneven, so was his.

“You expected me to roll over and die for you, Shira?” A drawl was not a common tone for Jared, but it suited him fine now. She realised that he adopted Shira whenever he got his taste of a small victory. He is mocking me… by mocking us! Or… Despite her being the captive, the interrogee… Being at his mercy, maybe she still had some hold over the situation. A part of her revelled in that knowledge. She wished to savour it for as long as she could. The power struggle between them was palpable. Akira wasn’t sure about killing him before, but she sure as hell wanted to now. An animalistic war-cry tumbled out of her lips. She threw herself at him yet again, but this time, her leap was measured.

He really did not peg her for the sort to make the same mistake twice. But then, she was being bullishly bellicose. Was she still not thinking with her head? He decided to use the cane this time, swinging it over his head almost warningly as she got closer. She did not stop. So, he decided to follow through. But he should have trusted his hunch. She was thinking with her head alright.

She did not simply lunge at him, she had a plan. Akira stepped in, towards him. Her arm shot straight out, as a wedge between him and his outstretched limb. Hers was flattened against her ear and blocked the incoming strike before he got the full-swing’s worth. The stick slid against her; she rolled her arm over his, to lock his stick-wielding wrist. Before he had the chance to wriggle out of this, which he certainly could manage with sheer brute force, she jabbed her knee into his crotch, once… twice, reared up for thrice but couldn’t follow through as her hatred waned. He exhaled sharply, then grunted as he keeled forward. The other hand caught her knee, her hesitance gave him time. “Below the belt… really?” A raspy, strained voice called her out. She would have retorted that after the slap, this barely left them even. But she was more interested in shutting him up.

She rearranged her knee, pulling it closer to herself. Her joint whisked his blocking hand on the way to its target: his face. He pulled away enough to prevent a nose break and almost opened his mouth to let his teeth graze flesh, but he did not want to fight dirty, or worse… end up with his teeth knocked in. His lips split in two places too. All he had to do, was to wait for her to make a mistake, because he was certain she would. She manoeuvred him to the floor, with his arm still in her grip. She pivoted him, by twisting the arm cruelly, as he fell. She ensured that he landed on to the glass shards on the floor. The cane slipped out of his hand. “Here, have your god-damn shards.” She hissed pressing his face into the ground with her knee and holding his arm in a lock, her hip flush against his elbow.

The small cuts against his jaw and cheekbones spouted crimson. But there were other pressing matters to deal with. Literally. Something was pressing against a joint he was rather attached to. Her legs stretched over his throat and neck as she sat back, with his arm pulled across her. She kept her elbows tucked in and his wrist in a strong lock as she slowly bucked upwards, rolling her hip against his outstretched elbow. “Having fun?” His words were still laboured, but the implication in his voice almost made her head cloud again. Almost. Keeping her motion controlled so she could draw this out, took effort, so her own voice was worn too. “You betcha!” But to show him that she was serious, she notched upwards just a little faster and just a little higher. He drew a sharp breath; he choked out a sound and swore with anguish. “F-FUCK…” Akira could have sworn she heard something crack. She loosened her grip.

In fact, she had not heard a thing, because nothing was broken. He was still reeling from the explosive pain between his legs. But his arm was fine. He flexed his elbow, it was close the fork between her legs now. In a moment of flitting anger, Jared considered taking revenge for the crotch shots but thought better of it. He sharply tucked his arm towards himself. His wrist slipped out of her grip. The moment the hold was broken, the two of them snapped away from each other, and they got to their feet in a hurry. I will walk away a better man.

Barely though, he did just test her concern for him and was surprised to find it was still there. He was not happy about the tactic he used, especially because it worked. In the recesses of his mind, he wished she did not betray any evidence of feelings that she may or may not have for him. That uncertainty, complicated things, in intent and in action. Akira let out a hollow, giddy giggle, it cracked the words she used to call out his cheap tactic. “I thought I’d be able to tell if you were ever faking it.” He rolled his eyes and absently flicked his thumb over the cuts on his face, to assess the damage. Expectedly, the touch elicited a sharp sting across the wounds and viscous crimson painted his skin.

She stumbled backwards to keep her distance, till her back was flush against the wall. “I mean… You could never tell when I did.” Her words dripped with bitterness. Naturally, she was hurt that he had exploited the fact that she still cared, it came as a surprise to her too. Now that it had been used against her, that tendon of attachment broke like the arm had not. It made her want to hurt him again. Somehow.

He had never paid much mind to the lurking feelings of inadequacy when it came to her, of not being social enough, happy enough… experimental enough. She had never let him dwell on it too, not until she left for Q.B… and met someone else, or so it seemed. It was not the original source of his antagonism towards her. He did not wish ill upon her for moving on as the distance and circumstance made communication impossible. But, with the backdrop of friction and guilt, her words touched a nerve he did not know had been exposed all this time. Neither did she.

Jared was unexpectedly swift. He really should not have let her petty words drive him to lash out. And he realised as much, in the time it took for him to close the distance and throw a punch. She barely managed a guiding parry and a small side-step away from him. The air his motion perturbed, whisked against her side. His knuckles collided with the wall. His own aim had wavered enough for him to miss, just barely. Her side step assured it. He was glad he did, even though, this time something did break. He groaned, but his fist remained against the wall and his arm stood like a fence between them. Aki’s fear rose like bile. She swallowed. If that had connected, she would be… considerably hurt. Without giving her a chance to recover from the shock, or himself from the pain, he stepped in closer yet and folded his elbow. His forearm fell across her throat. His shoe fell across her bare feet. Panic. There was the mistake he had been expecting. She tried to claw her way away from the wall and he let her, just enough to slip his arm around her throat. That's it then, for real this time. He's going to kill me. She thought as the arm coiled around her like a snake, tightening to slowly choke the life out of her. She almost wished she had taken the chance to tell him everything. She felt just as breakable as his arm and just like she could not break a limb, he certainly couldn’t break her. He did pull his arm towards him and squeezed, carefully. Not to kill, just to neutralise. As he slowly felt the struggle melt out of her body, his rage followed suit and melted out of him. She slackened in his hold.

[Category 2] [Tags: @cashieeetime​ and @beckstriad​ (because you’ve already seen the process ;) )]

[sciencelings-writes]

Iron Man Bingo: Tony Stark & Harley Keener

this is part of my 5+1 series of Tony and his kids, this one has less Tony in it which was not what I was planning but I’m mostly trying to show how much he cares, even from afar. 

Every Christmas, Harley got a ridiculously expensive gift that he knew his mother couldn’t afford. It was always labeled that it was from ‘Santa’ but Harley was anything but stupid. There was a billionaire out there that still felt bad after several years of putting him in danger once. Okay, maybe twice but Harley honestly didn’t dwell on it. He actually liked helping Tony out when he was twelve, his life was boring anyway.

Usually, it was a custom kit to build something that gradually got more and more complicated. They would be robots and other machines that kept Harley busy for a few weeks before he ended up modifying it to his own design for the rest of the year.

It was a single armed robot with gold lettering on it that cheekily spelled out ‘ANTHON-E’ or ‘TON-E’ for short. Tony wasn’t discrete. And he had a strange sense of humor.

Okay, Harley thought it was funny and the golden stickers could’ve spelled out anything he wanted. Harley was the one that thought it was funny to call the bot TON-E. But Tony did send a note with ideas for names that were just as bad. Mostly puns that ended in ‘-E.’ Most of them were not FUN-E. In fact, they were borderline SHIT-E.

But one year, the year after the shitshow that was Ultron and the breakup of the Avengers, Harley got something a little different. There was a huge box of parts and Harley audibly gasped when he took a look at the blueprints. It wasn’t a little project or a robot, it was a full-on Iron Man suit. Tony had included several colors of paint and literally everything Harley could ever hope to need to make the suit perfect, although the weapons were understandably less powerful.

They weren’t like nerf guns instead of actual guns, but they weren’t going to destroy his whole block if he fucked something up.

The only thing fully put together in the kit was the arc reactor. Sure, Harley had seen it up close, hell, he had put it back in Tony's chest that one time but it had been a few years and now that he had a better idea of what it was, he was fascinated by it. There was a note on it from Tony, it gave a personal phone number and an invitation to ask for anything else that he would need and a suggestion for a free visit to New York.

Harley was a little bit excited. When he wasn’t being watched by his little sister and mother, he literally jumped up and down with a ridiculous grin pasted on his face. It took him a full month to stop smiling and he started working on the suit immediately. He also started regularly texting Tony after years of not talking him.

Their conversations ranged from dumb shit that Harley was not ashamed of talking about to deep shit like the effect of the loss of the Avengers. It took a few months and several reminders that Harley knew how to deal with the man's panic attacks that he opened up again.

Harley may not be a therapist or anything like that, but he was the type of person that could listen to people. He listened to his mom when she broke down when he suggested she try dating again, he listened to Tony during his panic attacks and the adults always felt bad for unloading their trauma onto him but he didn’t care. Sometimes people needed someone to listen and think for them when they couldn’t think straight and Harley honestly didn’t mind being that person. He seemed to stay calm when other people would freak out.

Right before spring break, Harley finished his suit. He had fully tested it and wanted to see how it would fare for long distances, so he decided to surprise Tony by visiting. He wasn’t an asshole though, he told his mom that he was going to go visit, he just didn’t tell her that Tony didn’t even know.

Honestly, Harley only knew that Tony was going to be in the country because his AI connected to FRIDAY and she had told him Tony’s schedule for the whole month. He specifically took a few weeks off to chill out and Harley was planning on ruining it. Eh, Tony would forgive him.

He was kind of surprised that his mom let him go at all, but it turned out that she had talked to Pepper Potts and she had promised that she would make sure that Harley would be taken care of as she was sure that Tony couldn’t even take care of himself. Okay, he could but a lot of the time he forgets that human bodies had needs that had to be met every day. Like sleeping and eating.

Anyway, Harley left as soon as he could. And now he could say, flying was pretty fucking awesome. He topped out at about one thousand miles per hour, faster than a normal plane, but it would still take a while to get to New York. So he enjoyed the ride. For one, the view was beautiful, by being so high up, everything just looked so small.

Harley didn’t even think before he flew in loops and just played around with the whole concept of flight. The ducks in the air could probably hear him whooping from outside of his metal mask.  But he didn’t think that they had the brain capacity to care.  

He was in the middle of a swan dive when his visor turned red and text flashed in front of his eyes. Thankfully, it wasn’t a problem with the suit or anything like that. It was an alert for something happening nearby.

By then he had been flying for a while and was already above West Virginia. The alert just said that the AI had sighted a mugging using a nearby security camera. The guy had a gun and his AI had deemed it safe enough to be his first act of heroism. He didn’t have much else to do and if he actually wanted to be some sort of superhero, he would have to actually do some hero-ing.

He continued his dive until he was about as high as the nearby building. He slowed his descent and heavily dropped on the ground. He almost lost his balance but he didn’t fall so it was fine.

“Iron Man?” The criminal guy froze in his tracks and dropped the old woman's purse.

“Not quite.” Harley shot a low powered repulser blast at the man and surprisingly hit him. His arm but he fell to the ground. “I’m more like petty-crime Iron Man.”

The criminal was passed out on the ground so Harley paid attention to the woman.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Thank you so much, young man, before you shoot off into the sky, would you mind taking a picture with me? My granddaughter loves Iron Man!” Well, she got over that quickly…

“I guess…” He helped her after she struggled to take a selfie with him and after a few minutes, the lady had a picture of the new black and gold Iron Man. She seemed pretty pleased with the picture. He told her to call the police to report what happened before he shot off into the sky to make his way to New York.

This wasn’t the only stop he ended up having, he ended up stopping a robbery in New Jersy and distracted a potential rapist so that a girl could get an uber home. He wasn’t aware of how many pictures were taken of him and by the time he got to new york, there were several news sites that wrote about him. Most had headlines like ‘Iron Boy?’ or ‘Is there a new Iron Man?’ and dumb shit like that but one had ‘Tony Stark has a child who fights crime?’ So it could’ve been worse.

He landed at the Avengers compound in the middle of the night. He was exhausted but excited at the same time. Conflicting emotions were annoying. He popped out of his iron suit and stretched a bit before strolling into the compound with slightly hunched shoulders. Pepper met him inside, apparently, she had stayed awake waiting for him.

“Tony is just in his workshop and he’s going to stay down there all night if you don’t get him out of there. I’m going to bed and if you just join him, I’m going to sic FRIDAY on you guys.” Pepper threatened with a yawn. Harley was physically exhausted enough not to even think about denying her.

Pepper showed him to the workshop and excused herself to go to bed. FRIDAY let him in and Tony didn’t even notice. Tony seemed to be intensely examining a glowing holographic screen in front of him. Harley sat by him for a full five minutes before Tony even realized that he was there.

“Kid?” Tony looked like he hadn’t slept in a week so Harley was surprised that the guy even recognized that he was a kid.

“Hello to you too, it’s been a while.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Chill out, it’s spring break, I just decided to stop by.” Harley smiled and stood up. “Come on, you look like shit. Your girlfriend wants you to get some sleep.”

“You know I haven’t had enough sleep when I consider that you’re a hallucination.”

“Why the fuck would you hallucinate me? Maybe in the morning, we can reunite properly but personally, I’m about to pass out so…”

“Yeah yeah, no need to make me feel guilty… goddammit, you have gotten better at that…” Tony stretched and stood up in a way that strangely reminded Harley of a cat. “I saw you didn’t waste too much time to go play vigilante.”

“The fly here was pretty boring.” Harley shrugged. “Hey FRIDAY, tell Pepper we’re on our way up.”

‘Of course.’ The AIs voice came from the hidden speakers. ‘Boss says that you haven’t gotten the high score for getting Tony out of the lab.’

‘What’s the high score?’

‘Fifiteen seconds due to an accidental alert from Spider-Man. He didn’t mean to press the panic button.’ FRIDAY replied and if she had a face, Harley was sure that she was smiling. Or rather, smirking.

“Well, I’m going to beat that record.”

“Good luck with that kid…” Tony groaned. “Please at least promise not to give me a heart attack.”

“You have a med bay here right?” Harley smirked.

“Jesus Christ…”

Pepper could hear the laughing all the way from the Iron Suite.

[franeridart]

Sorry I’m still new to the Bnha anime . So have they taken a break or something? Do explain please?

Sorry, I’m not actually sure what this question means! But if you’re asking why there’s no anime airing right now, then that’s because season three ended and season four still hasn’t started!

Anon said:hey there! i love your linearts so much and i really enjoy coloring lineart/manga panels and i was wondering if you'd be okay with me coloring some of your lineart? i wouldn't repost it, i'd either just keep it to myself or i'd add it as a reblog onto the original post of yours. if the answer is yes, thank you so much! if it's no, that's okay, have a great rest of your day, and keep being talented & awesome :D

I don’t like the idea of you posting them anywhere, but if it’s just for yourself then I don’t mind at all! Thank you for liking my stuff!!!

Anon said:Have you considered… Honenuki x Kuroiro?

I guess I have now :O but I still prefer Tokoyami for Kuroiro, after all haha

Anon said:When I saw you drew something with hawks I almost passed out I love the way you draw him sksksksksksk

Thank you so much!!! He’s a lot of fun to draw!!

Anon said:That sero and Kiri with the long hair 😱😍

Glad you like them!! I’m especially fond of Sero, ngl!!

Anon said:yooo i know you don't care for the villains but i gotta say i love the way you draw dabi! i just love your style in general but i really like how you draw his scars and hair, i feel like it looks more angular than how other artists draw him if that makes sense.

Why thank you so much!!!!! I like Dabi’s design a lot so it’s cool to know I can do him justice!!

Anon said:I have a phone and no laptap and i cant see your faq,what drawing tablet and drawing program do you use?

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a very old very basic Wacom Intuos! The FAQ should be accessible by mobile too tho!!

Anon said:Can you draw more of the kiribaku kids? Please

Yes I can!! Thank you for liking them!!!!

Anon said:i am so in love w your art 🖤

Ah heck thank you so much!!

Anon said: Heeey! Your vigilantes AU is soooo cute. Are there any fic or maybe more art about it? I really love it! And your art too!! Thank you for the great art! (◠‿◠✿) ||  Oooo ooo and I love the way you made the relationship and interactions between Bakugou and Jirou! It's really cute. (vigilantes au anon)

A lot of people have mentioned wanting to write for it but as far as I know no one has gone through it yet! It’s a very impegnative AU isn’t it!! I should know, I’m the first who has pages full of ideas and not a comic to show yet! Maybe one day haha thank you for liking it tho!!

Anon said:Hi. You deserve the world imo. You helped me cheer up when I was feeling down. Every post of yours made my day better when I scrolled through tumblr. Thank you for everything. Bye bye 💖

TT^TT I’m so happy to hear this!! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Your art makes me feel warm inside, I love it!! So much!!!!

THANK YOU!!

Anon said:tumblr shows up to the 20th tag on search. just fyi.

That’s cool to know! Tho I might argue right now tumblr’s search doesn’t show jackshit! By the way using this very nice ask to let yall know that the search function on my blog isn’t currently working how it should, so if you can’t find something in the tags that’s why !!

Anon said:wow... i love your family au so much... you said you didn't like the palate you chose for mako but i couldn't disagree more!! i think she fits into the family beautifully! but anyways it's so wholesome and the best kiribaku art out there

AW THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I’m happy to know you like them TT^TT

Anon said:you were like the only artist that drew kiribaku like two years ago and for that you have my undying loyalty... thank you..... you gave me content for them before I became an artist.. also thank you for getting me into art :) I love your art style so much!

Was I!! :O it’s been so long I honestly can’t remember, but I’m happy yo hear you’ve been around since back then! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Your idea for the time swap with fantasy bakugou is so great!!! I'd love if you drew more of it

AH thank you so much!!! I’d love to draw more for it too, but I can’t promise it’ll happen sadly !

Anon said:oh my God your art is super cute!! you're one of my inspirations!

That’s so sweet and wonderful to know!!! Thank you so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:please don’t die

This is a super omnious ask, and I got it twice too 👀👀 anon what do you know that I don’t

Anon said:hi wow i just wanted to let u know that you’re art is fucking amazing and i absolutely love your blog!! just wow you’re so talented and amazing and i love you’re style and just love all your comics and just keep up the amazing work broski!!

THANK YOU SO MUUUUCCHHHHH!!!!!!! TTOTT

Anon said:Have you considered KamiMomoJirou?

Hell yeah I have!

Anon said:Bakugou and Kirishima as mermen are so beautiful. I wonder what Todoroki and Midoriya look like as mermen...

Overly complicated and requiring more time and motivation than I currently have, for sure haha but maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it! Thank you so much for liking the krbk!!!!

[thefloatingstone]

hey what's your thought about fan theories in mass medias(games,shows). some are debatable, other do use facts and secret from the media. so what's your opinion

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with fan theories.

(Oh boy! And excuse to post gifs! 8′D)

First off;

Fan Theory =/= Headcanon!

A headcanon to me means something you know is not canon and have no evidence for, but it’s a trope you enjoy indulging in for fun.

a Fan theory is something presented as a possible truth within the canon of the work and may be considered factual within the original piece of media if analyised enough.

(I classify shipping as something else entirely as shipping is mostly for fun. Unless the person starts asserting their ship “has canon evidence” when it does not. and they have to present a fan theory as to why it IS canon within their own fan theory.)

With that out of the way;

I feel I need to once again remind people that my favourite anime is Revolutionary Girl Utena. an anime whose entire existence is visual metaphor, people speaking in double-meaning, body language, psychology, religious symbolism, feminism, myths, archetypes and a lot more I am forgetting.

When I first watched Utena, I honestly did not understand it. It took me reading several essays on Ohtori.nu written by several psychology, literary and other high academic majors before I fully understood the themes of the show as well as many of its deeper meanings. And even though I have watched the show completely through 4 times already, every time I still find new meanings within it.

(Presented here: symbolism for literally every character in the show’s motivation on a psychological level and the fact that their motivations are fueled by mindsets which are false from their foundation)

(Presented here; the song that plays during Nanami’s duel. Nanami is a character who has placed all her self worth on her brother and her being more special to him than other girls because she’s his sister, something none of his many MANY one night stands could ever be. However, also the knowledge that her brother is distancing himself from her more and more as they grow up and sex becomes more and more his focus. As well as her desire to “perserve” what their relationship were as children, because she has placed her own self worth on his shoulders and so frantically fights to keep things as they use to be.

This song plays in the background of a fight scene between her and Utena, who often have dialogue over the already difficult lyrics. Making it difficult while watching it in context to fully understand the song. But if looked into, it tells much more about Nanami’s inner workings than what she herself says out loud. Especially at this point in the show, before her psychological hang ups become much more obvious later on)

Similarly, I am a big fan of Silent Hill 2. The entirety of Silent Hill 2 is that absolutely everything in the game is meant to be a representation of Jame’s psyche as well as the truth he is trying to avoid and run from. The design of all the monsters tie into this, as does the enviornment around him, certain objects you can pick up, even down to some of the titles of the music tracks. Not to mention dialogues with other characters and things found written throughout the world. Unlike Utena, you can understand SH2 without going into the deeper symbolism, however it IS there within the game and gives extra texture and meaning to the events in the game.

(Presented without comment)

(Presented here: The world of Silent Hill responding to James’ memories of Mary and how his own memories conflict with the reality of what happened)

Both of these things are among my favourite forms of media BECAUSE of their deeper meanings. And I appreciate the deeper intellectual meanings behind things, and the fact that these two forms of media actually HAVE the intelligence within their content to make the analysis of their themes interesting and intellectually satisfying.

I use to watch the channel “Game Theory” and rather enjoyed it. Especially the video on the Portal companion cube, and I enjoyed the first episode covering FNAF.

However, I am no longer subscribed to the channel and no longer enjoy seeing it or even to see recommendations for it on my youtuber feed. To the point where I had to block it on my video blocker so I could ignore it better.

I have found that I have very little interest or even patience for “fan theories” online. And I find them irritating and, quite honestly, pseudo-intellectual.

The reason being is this;

in SH2 and Utena, the symbolism is actually within the canon of the media itself. The symbolism and depth is already present, and the analysis and understanding of it from the fans are a kind of deciphering of this deeper meaning. And it is such that the more you dig into the original media, the more clear it becomes that the symbolism is extremely deliberate and that the conclusion of these analysis cannot have any other answers. They can be EXPANDED upon with further thought. But you cannot dissect the canon work and come up with a DIFFERENT theory. Because the media has already provided you with an answer, and expects you to be intellegent enough to understand it if you look into it.

Fan theories online is not this.

I find fan theories to be either detrimental to the canon work, and actually devalue the original media rather than build upon it or to get deeper understanding from it. It feels like a stripping away of the canon to put under a microscope to try and find a deeper meaning and, finding none, to imply one you LIKE and try to form fit the canon to it.

I feel it devalues the canon to do this, as well as painting many of the people indulging in it in a way that is FAR too serious (as in not doing it as a fun headcanon but as a ~FAN THEORY~) as rather pseudo-intellectual and snobbish and smug. It feels rather immature. As if one needs to somehow PROVE just how intellectually superior one is by “theorising” something which SOUNDS intelligent on paper, but in truth has no real value to it. And many times ends up being empty in that it does not match the canon at all.

(Presented here: ….whatever the fuck this is)

Another thing you should know about me;I have a VERY deep interest in archaeology. And one of the WORST things you can EVER do in archaeology, is to START with a theory, and then try and find “facts” to “prove” your theory. THIS IS TERRIBLE. DO NOT DO THIS.

Many times, this happened (and probably still happens) because of the archaeologist’s own biased opinions or because of social constructs at the time of the discovery.

(please excuse any errors here as I am working off memory) There is a famous tomb discovered which, in ALL WAYS, points that the two men buried in it were not only lovers, but essentially life partners. From the items buried with them, the hieroglyphics around them, and the paintings which used the ancient Egyptian codes for kissing. However, because the tomb was discovered in the 50s, the couple were written and recorded as “brothers”. Because acknowledging a homosexual couple was just NOT DONE.

To this day, there is a loud debate about these two and changing the records to properly reflect them as the couple they clearly were. Despite this, many resources still have them as “brothers”. Saying that the intimacy in the paintings “meant they might have been twins! Perhaps even conjoined twins!”

The “Theory” was a big intricate explanation as two how “these two were actually brothers!!!” while the facts are very clearly something else and frankly much more simple.

(I looked this up after finishing this ask and I was thinking of Nyankh-khnum and Khnum-hotep. For the record)

(Presented here; obvious twin brothers #nohomo)

I suppose because of my interest in archaeology, I apply the same thinking to fan theories. I see them as being false when held up against the “facts” within canon. And since they are false, I do not give them any sort of weight or importance.

HOWEVER. Within fandom, many times the sheer popularity of an IDEA is such that a “fan-theory” the aligns favourably to tropes people ALREADY like, and the “fan theory” becomes “accepted canon” by people. Despite not actually aligning to the canon material at all. And yet, when you, as the person enjoying the canon media, speak up against a popular fan theory, you get dog piled by he rest of the fandom community for being “wrong” or “not adhering” to a fan theory that is popular. And eventually you get brow-beaten into accepting the fan theory, or simply remain a disregarded outsider since your views are no seen as favourable as the fan theory.

(Canon)((Leaning away when someone is trying to kiss you is SO ROMANTIC RITE???))

(99% of Sailor Moon fans APPARENTLY!!!)((Many people consider Seiya and Usagi to actually be a canon ship and that IN CANON she preferred them over Mamoru. Despite everything in the show illustrating Uagi’s attraction but discomfort in all of Seiya’s attention))

Also, and I beg you forgive me for my arrogance here, but I think people just enjoy feeling smart in a complicated fan theory. However, the truth for me personally is, I have no need or interest in reaffirming my own intelligence to myself or others.

I want to enjoy the canon for the way it is presented to me. If the canon has something that speaks to me personally, I do not need to create a fan theory to make it interesting. I can find things within canon I can analyse and discuss.  And if I find something shallow, I merely enjoy it for its shallowness, because NOT everything needs deep meaning behind it, or I simply indulge in it, and move on to something else I find stimulating. Or I just simply do not find it engaging at all.

So…. I guess that’s my answer.

I enjoy the analysis of deeper canon material.I enjoy discussing headcanons that are by admission not canon right from the start.I do no enjoy fan theorising on things which are not apparent within the canon itself but presented as being possibilities within canon despite evidence.and I get frustrated when, due to popularity, the obtuseness of a fan theory is treated AS canon.

….huh….. you can apply that to a lot of more important real world things, huh? ^^;

Sorry for the arrogance in this reply. However, you asked for my opinion, and since this is about an opinion regarding personal preference, I can only present the subject as I approach it with my OWN personal bias and thought process. As well as how I validate it to myself.

I am sure a counter-argument could very easily made as a rebuttle for each and every point I’ve made.

But we are dealing with opinions. Not facts. and that is all I am offering. Opinion.

[chasholidays]

I actually haven't read "Are You Gonna Rise?" yet bc even though I know it's going to be great, it gives me anxiety, but I already want a timestamp for it? Or an alt-pov, you do what's the most fun for you.

Original fic here!

Bellamy has never married anyone before.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” says Octavia. For once, she’s actually acting like an aunt to Madi instead of a vaguely distrustful stranger, braiding her hair while Bellamy adjusts his collar. “Why would you have married someone?”

“I wouldn’t have minded practicing first,” he says. “To make sure I’m doing it right. Wedding rehearsals used to be a thing.”

“Blame your wife,” says O. “She’s the one who was in a big hurry.” She finishes off Madi’s hair and surveys her critically. Bellamy expected Clarke to handle her preparation today, but Madi declared that Clarke would be busy enough with her own dress, and she didn’t want to be in the way.

Even after a six months, he still feels like he’s catching up to his place in Madi’s life. He loves her, of course, loves her like a daughter, but it’s rare for him to be alone with her.

Honestly, she probably just didn’t want to have to help with Clarke’s preparations, and Bellamy can’t blame her. This isn’t the first wedding they’ve had, but Clarke is still something like Skaikru royalty, and Abby is in overdrive trying to make the best wedding ever. And they’re both their own strange kind of popular, in Eden. Respected, maybe.

Whatever the reason, the wedding is a big deal. Everyone’s excited, and Madi is hiding with him until it blows over.

“Do you want makeup?” O asks her. “Facepaint?”

Madi thinks it over, glances at Bellamy. “Are you getting any?”

“No, I think I’ll just stick with my face.”

“Are you sure?” asks Octavia. “Have you seen your face?”

“Thanks, O. You’re really making this wedding special.” He nearly runs his hand through his hair, but remembers at the last second that he has product in it and isn’t supposed to touch it. “Clarke wasn’t rushing it, by the way. She just didn’t want to have to do it more than once. It’s such a fucking production.”

“Yeah, but that’s because everyone wants to know what to do,” Madi offers.

Bellamy blinks at her. “What?”

“I know this isn’t the first wedding, but–it feels like the first Wonkru wedding. That’s what everyone says. This is going to be the new tradition.”

“If I knew we were making new traditions, I would have made it less complicated.” He sighs, sits down next to Madi. “I guess that makes sense. I just don’t really care. All I want to do is get married.”

“Soooooo romantic.” Octavia sing-songs. That is good. It feels like he has his baby sister back, at least for a little while. It doesn’t feel like either of them is doing anything wrong, just that they have different priorities.

It’s nice. She grew up. She got to grow up.

“I don’t know why you’re acting like that’s some burn on me,” he observes. “I love the woman I’m going to marry. I’d like to be romantic about it. I just don’t think that requires a big wedding.”

“But you’re having one anyway.”

“And it’s going to be fun,” Madi adds. “I like parties.”

“All the weddings had big parties, though,” O says. “We’ll take any excuse for a party.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I can think of worse things.” He exhales, turns his attention back to Madi. “Okay, you want to come check out the setup with me or go hang out with Clarke?”

“Setup with you,” she says, without delay.

O has other things to do, so it’s just him and Madi, which is good, because he’s a little worried about her. And he knows that she doesn’t really trust his sister.

“You want to go for a walk?” he asks.

She frowns at him. “Can we?”

“Who’s going to stop us? We’ll be back in time for the wedding.”

“Then yeah.”

Most of Eden is busy with their day-to-day business, with no wedding-related duties and nothing to participate in until the ceremony starts in an hour. Toren is monitoring the gate they choose, and he just raises his eyebrows.

“Cold feet?” he teases.

“Nervous energy. We’ll be back soon.”

Bellamy’s still shocked by how good the Earth looks, every time he leaves Eden. He was expecting it to be a struggle to survive if they got down, even in the green spaces. But it’s been–easy. Six months, and his life is easy for the first time ever. It still feels as if it can’t be real, sometimes, as if ALIE must have custom designed this just for him. He got chipped, somehow, and he’s still on the Ark in some paradise that the AI thought he’d believe.

If it’s not real, he’ll take it. But he doesn’t think ALIE could have come up with this. She wouldn’t have dreamed up Madi.

“So, you okay?” he asks Madi.

“I’m okay.”

“And?” he prompts.

She huffs. “And it’s not like I imagined.”

“You were imagining my wedding? Or just Clarke’s?”

For some reason, she looks surprised. “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I used to think about this all the time,” she admits. “Me and Clarke both, we were so focused on five years, when the people would come back. And you’d come back, and you’d marry her, and we’d be a family.”

His mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “That’s what’s happening,” he says, careful. “I was just late.”

“I know. I’m not upset about you,” she adds. “You’re great.”

“Thanks. You’re pretty great too.”

“It’s just hard sometimes. I didn’t know–I was so little, you know? I didn’t know what it was going to be like with all these people around. I don’t want your wedding to be about me, but it feels kind of like it’s about everyone else, you know?”

“I know, trust me. Is that why you aren’t with Clarke?”

“Yeah. Everyone is so–” She makes a face. “I know how important she is to everyone, and that’s nice. But I don’t want to see everyone telling her what she has to be.”

“You know you’re the most important person in her entire world,” he says. “Nothing’s ever going to change that.”

“I know. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not,” he promises. “Weddings are–fuck, I don’t know. I never went to any, but I don’t get them. Weddings should be about the people getting married, but I think a lot of the time, they’re about everyone else.” But it’s the same thing he’s been thinking all day, that this is the best day of his life, the day he thought would never come, the day he gets to marry his favorite person in the world, the one he thought he’d lost forever.

And it’s good, but it doesn’t feel that special to him.

“I don’t think we can get out of the ceremony,” he finally says. “But I bet we could skip the party.” Madi cocks her head, and he smiles. “This should be about us, right?”

“What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. But we can talk to Clarke, figure something out. I bet she’s miserable.”

Madi smiles a little. “I bet. I should probably go check on her.”

“She’d probably appreciate it, yeah. And the good news is this is just one day. We’re going to be a family for the rest of our lives.”

“We’re already a family,” she says, fierce, and he smiles.

“Yeah. But officially.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’ll tell Clarke you love her.”

“Good,” he says. “Thanks.”

*

Of course, Clarke looks beautiful. She put her foot down about too much makeup and face paint, which he appreciate. He associates Clarke in full Trikru regalia with the darkest days of his life, and they weren’t much better for her.

They agreed this wedding was going to feel like a fresh start, and that means everything is new.

“Hi,” he says, under his breath, once she gets to him.

“Hi.”

Indra clears her throat, and they both start guiltily. They do have lines.

“Please join hands,” says Indra, magnanimous, and Bellamy reaches for her.

The ceremony takes an hour, and it’s excruciating. From what Clarke and Octavia said, weddings up until this one were about ten minutes and no one cared that much about the actual ceremony part. He’s unspeakably jealous over this; all he wants is for no one to care about his wedding aside from enjoying the party. Instead, they’re setting a template for everyone else to use and suffer through for years to come.

On the bright side, after an hour, Indra tells him to kiss Clarke, and he does, and they’re officially married. It’s probably not the single best moment of his life; that’s probably still when he came down to the ground, and he saw Clarke while Octavia was in his arms. Like the marriage, it’s the best kind of good moment, the kind where it heralds plenty more good to come. He’s going to keep on being married to Clarke for the rest of his life.

“Thank goodness that’s over,” she says, leaning against his side, and Bellamy smiles.

“Seriously.”

“Madi said you wanted to skip the party.”

“I want to celebrate with my family,” he says.

One of the thousand reasons he loves her is that she gives him a wary look and asks, “What about your sister?”

“I don’t think my sister’s going to be offended that we don’t want her to leave the party with us. Today’s not about her anyway.”

She bites her lip. “Where’s Madi?”

“I think she’s still with Harper,” he says. She opted out of being in the ceremony, so she’s just in the crowd. “Why?”

“I need a second.”

There’s a crush of people wanting to congratulate them, but they’re also happy to just chat with each other. Clarke takes his hand and manages to maneuver them out of the throng, not all the way back to their own quarters, but private enough.

“Too many people?”

“We got married,” she says. “I want to celebrate with Madi, but–”

She tugs him down for a kiss, a much longer, deeper kiss than they shared in front of everyone. It’s not as if they don’t kiss all the time–they had sex this morning, before they had to split up for their separate preparations–but he’ll admit he needed that too. This is it. They belong to each other for the rest of their lives.

It’s been true for him since before Primfaya, but it’s nice to make it official.

He tries to thread his hand in her hair, but her hairstyle is too elaborate for him to make much headway. So he just tugs her closer instead, kisses her because he gets this. He has this forever.

And forever doesn’t even feel like it’s going to be over soon. They’re fine.

“Good?” he asks, resting his forehead on hers.

“Good. I love you.”

It’s not news anymore, but he’s never going to get tired of hearing it. “I love you too. Let’s go get Madi.”

Toren has joined Harper and Madi, and Bellamy thinks he’s been flirting with Harper, which is only slightly weird. He wants to like Toren, and it’s probably unfair of him that he doesn’t. He came along and whatever relationship Toren had with Clarke hadn’t even survived a day.

It’s just that he can’t help remembering all the time Toren was here, and he was on the Ark. It’s why Clarke hasn’t entirely warmed to Echo and Emori either, because they got so much of him that she missed out on.

It’s possible they’ll always be a little awkward. But they have matching rings on their fingers, and they’re happy.

“Congratulations,” says Toren.

“You guys looked great up there,” adds Harper.

“Thanks,” says Clarke. She grins at Madi. “I’m surprised you didn’t go take off your dress already.”

“I like my dress.”

“I like mine too, but I’m ready to get changed. Come on.”

They head back to their place and just stay there, as planned. In a way, it feels anticlimactic, but none of them really need a big climax here. He and Clarke are married, and that means they’re an official family, but the official part is the only real change. And it’s their celebration, not anyone else’s, so all they do is pile into their living room and play cards. Miller shows up to drop off food, as requested, but then he takes off for the party, and it’s just the three of them again.

“Do we need to toast or something?” he asks.

“Toast?” Madi asks.

“How did you picture this? When you thought about it?”

She smiles down at her slice of cake. “This was what I thought about. I thought you’d get married, and we’d all be happy.”

He leans over and kisses the top of her head. “That’s the plan, yeah. This is enough?”

“Yeah,” she says. “This is perfect.”

[insecure-hbo-the-recaps]

hella blows

Previously on Insecure: Issa is cool with Daniel, but he knows what it is. She’s all about her hoe-tation. Molly’s dad cheated on Molly’s mom which made her feel stupid enough to sleep with Dro. Issa wanted to make sure Daniel knew they were both seeing other people.

Issa’s alarm goes off and at first it looks like she’s beyond late for work. But it’s something even worse than that: she has to get up to move her car out of designated parking to a free side of the street before she gets a ticket or tow. Ikr? About 65% of the reason I want to move out of my current neighborhood even though it’s a huge hassle. “Ay! Your bumper bout to fall off,” some idiot points out obliviously. “Thanks!” Issa trills in a curt “no duh” kind of way.

Molly is working late. Dro calls and she hesitates before answering, clearly not looking forward to it. She thinks they’re going to have a serious conversation but of course he is just calling to shoot the shit. I feel like probably unfairly this paints Dro as suspect? Who fucks their lifelong friend while in an open marriage and then calls like nothing is different? I get the counterargument that that may be WHY he would call and act like nothing is different. But I don’t trust these fools.

Molly gets a call on the other line, and tells Dro she has to go because it’s her mom. But rather than brace herself for the sure emotional baggage that would come from that, Molly actually doesn’t answer, and just sits there thinking about what a mess her life is. She and Dro apparently have plans to see each other the next day, which is ostensibly the real reason why he called.

Shout out to Issa’s superfluously woke outerwear. She’s wearing that sweatshirt with a somewhat less than casual long skirt by the way. She has no car, so she has to take the bus. She eyes some latino kid as though she recognizes him. He regards her awkwardly as if he recognizes her too. She slides Daniel a potential come thru text and heads into her apartment, bored and restless. She has an email for somethin called a “Sexplosion,” which is appealing to her in this moment of drudgery. She bored.

Deciding this particular boredom is not something she can merely abide, Issa figures maybe she’ll stop in on Neighbor Bae. Her bathroom freshen up routine consists of mouthwash and an aggressive verbal affirmation seminar. She’s one hundred percent gasssed up.

She obliviously heads downstairs and knocks on Neighbor Bae’s door. He is surprised to see her, but he’s clearly pretending not to know whether or not he asked her over, which is polite. Issa assumes her dropping by should be welcomed, but Eddie has company. He makes needlessly polite excuses when honestly he didn’t have to because who the fuck is Issa? Mama gotta have a life too.

Although Issa has to vent via mirror freestyle (“I could cry right now I’m so embarrassed and mad, I hope you can’t get it up and that her pussy is trash”) I mean, come on. Be reasonable. You’re going to have to get a much thicker skin and a lot more comfortable with rejection if you’re going to try to be about that ho life. And you know what, it’s not for everyone. I had a friend who for some reason thought she was this perfect princess in her mind when really when she’d tell me stories I’d be looking at her like this is some random bitch who will do cocaine with strangers on a first date and then fuck them on the way home so why you think you deserve a doctor husband though? The answer to that question is that she was white and therefore delusional, but the overall point is that not everybody can brave the harsh landscape of being single and dating, and if you try to fake it you’ll just end up crying at bars when men ask you why you’re single (which also happened to this friend).

I really hate when I take accidental pauses like this one lol:

As Issa irritatedly deals with not getting the dick she psyched herself up for, she gets a double whammy of rejection when Daniel answers her come thru text that he’s busy. Issa is not feeling singleness at this moment. There’s an interlude with Baby Voiced Darius where he asks her, just randomly for no reason, if she’s going to Target. “Why would I be?” Issa snaps. I mean, it’s a fair question. I’m potentially going to Target 40% of the time in any random day.

In some other cool, quirky, millennial loft in Los Angeles, Lawrence is making some kind of pitch to a motley group of assembled coworkers. So now we finally get some details on the elusive Woot Woot: “it aggregates all of your data, where you shop, where you eat, where you drink, and it makes recommendations based on that.” Motherfucker how is this any different from all the bullshit Netflix keeps recommending me 67 times that I’m not going to watch, or how google is so Big Brother on us now that if I’m watching or listening to something and decide to look up part of it, it can autocomplete my search based on less than one word? I mean to say… technology been way able to do that for a long time, bruh. Everyone cheers and applauds and Lawrence, in a very ugly navy cardigan, grins big at what seems like praise and encouragement of his idea. And… this was the idea he’d been working on while unemployed for two years? AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH “WOOT WOOT”?!

Two guys that I’m going to assume are Lawrence’s superiors are giving him feedback. Bosses in the start up world look like this:

I’m glad I’m not inclined to this field because it’s honestly not something that I think I would be able to take seriously lol. They say it’s great and they loved the presentation. While their feedback sounds positive and Lawrence obviously thinks it’s a vote of confidence, if you listen closely they’re doing nothing but praising him individually and offering compliments to the fact that he is working hard and competently, not praising the viability of his work specifically. They make no comments whatsoever about the app being a good idea or potential product. Then, just to underscore the fact that they are Clueless White People, the fat guy asks Lawrence about his shoes, and calls them fly. I would take issue that at this point it seems like the show just makes fun of white people just to mock them and make white people as a whole unsympathetic but on the other hand… white people stay doing fake bonding shit like this when they don’t have to, so if they look bad, then, motherfuckers, stop doing the shit.

Where do you suppose Issa and Molly are? I’m at a loss as to whether this is a Chinese restaurant, a really shitty travel agency, or somewhere where you can get your eyebrows waxed for eight dollars. Molly is telling Issa she’s worried that she may have fucked up her friendship with Dro, and Issa points out that that wouldn’t be surprising considering that she fucked her friend. I think that it’s nice just a couple episodes ago Molly was having this talk with Issa, and now Issa’s having it with Molly.

It turns out they’re in a mechanic waiting room while Issa gets an estimate to fix her car. Molly opines that Dro is the only person/man who’s seen her at her worst so why would she go and complicate things this way? And the way I feel about that is… if you start fucking a married man you really can’t be thinking about any of this shit where he may potentially be a person that is anything other than a married man. Remind me again that at some point during this story line I take a complete break to tell y'all about how I was fucking a married man. The point is anyway that Molly is doing the most emotionally when you’d think it would be easy to understand that in a situation like this specifically you need to do your best to chill. Her current thought is to tell Dro she doesn’t want it to happen again when they hang out later that night.The mechanic comes back and tells Issa they’ll have to order parts to do the repairs (which duh she’s getting body work done) and it’ll be about 5500. Issa balks at that price tag.

Remember in the previous episode where Molly and Issa talked about a vacation? Molly still wants to go (listing a bunch of countries and islands that start with M, prompting Issa to chide annoyedly “there are other places with other letters”) seemingly oblivious to the fact that if Issa can’t afford to repair her car, she can’t afford to go on vacation. In hindsight, this show really put a LOT of effort into very deliberate continuity between episodes, for really small things.

Issa is frustrated because she had been doing really well with all her various life parts and now all of them seem to be scattering out abruptly. She’s still having trouble accepting that men she’s seeing casually aren’t just available for her whenever she wants them to be. Ok so… how are you saying you want Daniel to know to stay in his place, and you want Mexican Bae not to expect anything from you, but you want them to be willing to do whatever you want when you want it? Again: be reasonable sis. If you’re gonna dish it out then obviously you have to take it back too. Then she acknowledges sex with her is mediocre and, again, this is where she loses me. I don’t think I would ever describe sex with me as “acceptable” except on occasions when I know I am making no effort to leave an impression. Come on now. Half the dudes I got to stick around as adults - when sex is less of an issue and everyone has more baggage - is probably 80% because sex was the only draw. And I’m partially joking (clearly I have the delusionally high self esteem of a complete asshole and I like it that way), but seriously it’s something that you have to think about as you get older. The Panties Card gets flimsier and flimsier, until it is no longer a guaranteed bargaining chip to maintain someone’s attention which frankly was news to me.

Back at the super cool Los Angeles tech start up, Lawrence stops by Arpana’s desk and playfully asks her questions around what he should do with his impending takeover of the app world. Arpana makes this face:

Clearly she is clued into what Lawrence is not, which is that the presentation did not go as well as he thought it did. She tells him he should lower his expectations, because she doesn’t think Woot Woot is viable: it felt outdated. Speaking of delusional self esteem, Lawrence cooly replies that it’s fine if she doesn’t see the vision and who cares because she’s not the one greenlighting it anyway. As he gets up to leave, Arpana adds that clearly the bosses weren’t into it like they were some other app where they asked questions and dug through the pitch looking for flaws then scheduled a follow up. It slowly sinks in on Lawrence that maybe she has a point, but when she says “it’s like they didn’t want to offend you,” Lawrence puts his defenses back up and tells her that she’s entitled to her opinion. While I don’t approve of Lawrence’s childish blindspots, I do approve of his polite passive aggressive work rebuttals. (Professional environments love passive aggression.)

Laker bar. Molly shows up for her date with Dro, nervous about the speech she plans to drop. She awkwardly explains that she feels like things are different though objectively Dro’s behavior doesn’t seem in any way out of the ordinary. He tells her she’s being dramatic and to calm the fuck down. They playfully joke about french fries and apparently that’s all it took to defuse the tension.

The tension was so de-fused that they went back to Molly’s place after the game to offer us another excellently choreographed sex scene. A.) Molly’s headboard is everything (quality headboards are not in reach of everyone’s financial adult life, sigh) and b.) of all the ones we’ve seen so far I think Molly’s sex scenes are the only ones that are actually sexy.

Meanwhile, Issa has invited Mexican Bae over to her place. She doesn’t really want to date him, so this is all a ruse to hopefully get some dick. As she makes pointed conversation drawing attention to her visible bra and the obscene shortness of her skirt, at this point it’s like… do you even actually want some dick or is this just about proving a point? Like are you actually horny and wanting to get fucked? Nico plays along politely, even ignoring her obvious come ons. We are then treated to an awkward scene where Nico wants to treat Issa like a person and she wants to treat him like a conquest. It’s painful to witness.

Issa decides to try a more direct move and just initiates kissing. Nico tries to bring the date back around to their dinner reservations. I feel like the fact that he’s meant to be fairly older than Issa is supposed to play into this. Issa goes so far as to try to bypass this, and when Nico tells her to slow down - “I really like you and I don’t want to rush past this, I want to get to know you” - it just makes Issa angry. Even then, Nico is STILL WILLING to go out to dinner, but Issa apparently is too prideful for this so she flatly rejects him and watches him leave. Sigh. I do understand where she’s coming from, I do. But she’s going about it all the wrong way - very defensively and insecurely. (Oh! I get it now! Ba dum bum.)

Back at Molly’s, she and Dro are doing the post coital thing. He points out that she said she didn’t want to do this anymore. Molly is clearly in a dick haze because her defenses are vastly lowered. She wants to know the boundaries of their non-relationship but Dro is all cool and aloof. He does tell her he isn’t looking for a second side piece which you’d think considering the circumstances would clue her into how ridiculous a conversation this is. She’s asking a married man whether he wants to fuck other women on the side of his wife, isn’t that inherently answering its own question?

Anyway Dro says that Candace knows they are sleeping together and in fact it was her idea to open the relationship. Or so he says. Molly, like a fool, just wants to indulge her butterflies. Her caution is just lip service. She wanted to be told what she wanted to hear.

Another day at work, Lawrence decides to stop by the bosses’ office - where they are standing at waist high desks instead of sitting - and follow up regarding his presentation. Recalling Arpana’s words, he asks whetehr they have any feedback regarding his Woot Woot pitch. I really like the way they framed this shot:

as they shoot each other uncomfortable looks at being put on the spot. Lawrence is speaking in terms of how to to move forward with a viable project, but the bosses do nothing but offer more empty compliments. They have no additional thoughts that would signify any real concerns that would be relevant were this to be an actual project they undertook. The fat boss says they love having his “perspective and input” which delicately suggests Lawrence is there as a diversity hire and not as a real and valuable part of the team. “You bring a lot to the team,” the skinny guy says. The fat guy gives a typically encouraging bullshit line of being excited to see “Lawrence 2.0” and the skinny guy laughs sycophantically. If Lawrence still doesn’t get it, the fact that they overcompensate about his shoes again (“what store did you get those from again?”) should leave him in no doubt. Emasculating… no? (I have far too many thoughts on this subject so let’s move on. They aren’t particularly original, so I’ll spare you.)

Sexplosion. Hey! There are strippers doing pole tricks and chocolatey penis cakes so… what is Tiffany’s job again that this is a thing she does? Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany stroll up and take a bunch of free condoms. Issa thinks Molly broke things off with Dro because she asks why she needs condoms. They talk about barriers for oral sex and I just remembered this is the episode where they have the problematic, regressive conversation about oral sex.

So, let’s just get this out of the way: Tiffany, the only married one who is clearly the most whitewashed of the group, is the only one to openly acknowledge she loves giving blowjobs. Kelli doesn’t do it wholesale, Issa doesn’t like to do it, and Molly gives the Carrie Bradshaw (because of course this was a conversation on SEASON ONE of sex and the city) response of how it’s not her favorite but she’s flexible. Question: is this what black women are still on in the streets?

Being called a “ho” and ostracized for having any kind of sexuality is something that I left behind in high school once I was an adult and didn’t see any reason to need my choices validated by gossip and/or people I didn’t know. And the conservative quasi-religious culture of patriarchal standards and misogynist perspectives is something I completely abandoned in grad school when the only black men around that wanted to date me behaved like the shit I’d left behind in high school and I realized I was totally unfamiliar with any other cultural norms. I’m not going to go off on a tangent to get to the bottom line that I would hope this is not still a widespread understanding amongst young black women these days though I would not be entirely surprised if it were. I want to sum it up as so: when I exclusively dated black men some of the time I’d be sleeping with a guy who would refuse to ever kiss me, for apparently no reason whatsoever other than it was culturally normal. I was surprised when I started dating white men and they really do want to wake up and kiss you on the mouth first thing in the morning. I slept with a motherfucker all four years of undergrad who never went down on me ONCE. Like, I can’t - I feel like I’m biased and I don’t want to preach from that perspective, so I’m not even going to dig into this.

I will say this - I don’t know how the fuck you expect to successfully date as an adult when you have whole chunks of sexual entrees completely off the menu - for WHATEVER ideological reason - yet continue to think you are dating as a normal person. It’s a hang up. Call it a hang up and accept it.

The next day, Molly is reading an article by Serena Williams about closing the pay gap. Damn, that makes me feel bad. Her mom is still calling and leaving voicemails. At an office across town, Lawrence makes amends with Arpana by acknowledging “Woot Woot” is dead. He tells her she was right, and also there was a racial component to their behavior. Arpana bonds with him as a WOC. Lawrence finally starts to accept he was wrong about his app. They both slowly realize there’s some attraction there that might go somewhere, sometime soon. Every single Woot Woot joke this show has made has been hilarious.

Issa is at Daniel’s listening to some song he produced. It sounds good. Issa says it has a black Daft Punk vibe whiiiiich… it sounds good and nothing like Daft Punk at the same time. They have a moment about how apparently Issa likes champagne with a shot of Jameson. That’s new. They are very flirty and comfortable and eventually start kissing. Issa pushes him down on the couch and as they start to undress, she stops him and gets down on her knees. Speaking of hang ups, I refused to ever give a blowjob literally on my knees, until I started playing it up as an ego thing.

Somewhere across town, Molly is also having a sexy night, in some fancy sterile bathroom taking a bubble bath while Dro sits on the edge of the tub. Before they get too far along, Dro gets a text from his wife who has accidentally locked herself out of their home. Molly is disappointed, and plays it off badly. They were doing a fancy hotel thing ordering in romantic shit which… I mean, I don’t know, if they like it then I’ll abide it silently. Have taken a bath with a guy I was casually sleeping with though. The water was so hot we were both sweating and the wine glasses were fogging up. He asked me how my day was and when I started to reply he started using his fingers on me, but ordered me to keep talking. That dude and I were basically hate fucking, but that moment was always sexy as hell to me.

Back at Daniel’s he is impressed with Issa’s blowjob skills. And then this sequence of events happens: he’s about to come, and he grabs Issa’s head, somehow holding it in place until:

Look! I took a screenshot for you! Bwahahahaha. Seriously how would that work logistically? He’s holding her head down, so he… strategically pulls it up and manages to put it in exactly the right place so that he could shoot her in the eye? Issa is pissed. Daniel acts like he doesn’t know why she’s upset. Issa is so mad she’s incoherent, and forcefully pushes him away when he tries to touch her. Issa’s anger is on one level due to the aforementioned hangups about blowjobs - she said she felt like once you sucked a dude’s dick he felt like he conquered you and relegated you to ho status - but on another level, Daniel is rude as fuck and it is NEVER ok to do a facial without express consent. Her anger is justified, even if it is a bit exacerbated by other issues. Any man who is not an ain’t-shit knows it’s rude to come in your mouth without permission LET ALONE ON YOUR FACE! Hell I’ve dated men that wouldn’t come on me even when I asked, or my ex who would always pull away without my asking, even though I didn’t give a goddamn WHERE he came, EVER. Like, Daniel’s rude as fuck.

So, Issa tells him fuck you and leaves. She ends up hovering around a gas station waiting for her Uber pool that already has two people in it, holding a wet towel to her eye. “Issa?” the driver asks. “Issa car pool!” and everyone laughs except Issa because she’s tired of getting the idea that she’s the butt of every joke.