#complete with real life counterparts of animal behaviors

[deadboyswalking]

Biology In The DeadBoysWalking A/B/O Verse

This is MY universe and probably deviates from other A/B/O universes. Die mad about it.

For ease of language, the terms "male" and "female" in the Primary Sex category line up with real-world assigned sex at birth. Transgender and Intersex people exist in the Primary Sex category as well but their physicality would differ from what's listed below, depending on their stage of medical transition or intersex condition.

In both Primary Sexes, secondary sex Beta is analogous with their real-world counterpart. Think of alpha and omega as branches from a neutral beta physiology.

Primary Sex: Male

In general, males of all three secondary sexes are indistinguishable from one another as an external viewer, especially before they present as young teenagers. There are certain physical traits associated with each secondary sex, but similarly to real life, genetic history, nutrition, and lifestyle all play a much larger role.

For example, Todoroki Enji isn't huge because he's an alpha, he's just a big fucking guy. His son Natsuo has the same build/size but he's a beta 🤷. On the other hand, Bakugou Katsuki and Amajiki Tamaki are both male omegas but have totally different builds.

MALE ALPHA

Male alphas have a few physical traits that cause them to deviate from male Betas.

● Alpha Fangs: large retractable incisor fangs, used to woo/mate omegas and betas and intimidate other alphas

● Reproductive System: male alphas usually have slightly larger genitals than other males, with penile girth being the most noticeable characteristic.

● Knot: towards the end of sex, the knot at the base of an alpha's penis expands and ties them to their partner. This is often uncomfortable for male betas and m/m alpha/beta partnerships usually require some physical training to build up to taking the knot.

● Fertility Cycle: male alphas go through a 1-week rut every 6 months. They are most fertile during this time period, but a male alpha can impregnate someone at any time. Apart from any health issues, they are generally more fertile than male betas.

● Sexual Behavior: male alphas instinctively bite down at climax when their knot locks and can avoid the mating gland, though rut makes their control over it slip. Most male alphas don't bottom in m/m relationships. Though there have been studies about decreased prostate sensitivity among male alphas, a combination of instincts and social stigma is a more likely cause.

MALE BETA

● Physiology is completely analogous to real-world males (with obvious exceptions for those with mutation Quirks)

● Like all other secondary sexes, beta males have scent glands on their necks, wrists, and inner thighs.

MALE OMEGA

● Omega Fangs: small retractable canine fangs. Usually appear during heats for mating purposes but can be forced out when threatened or to protect pups.

● Hybrid Reproductive System: an average-sized penis and testes, with all the normal sexual sensitivity, that can technically ejaculate. More importantly, male omegas have a cloaca used for both excretory and reproductive purposes. Like other real-world cloaca in the animal kingdom, folds of internal tissue open and close depending on current need. Half of the cloaca is a birth canal that leads to a uterus and ovaries. However, unlike a vagina, the entrance to the cloaca is much stiffer and requires stretching before penetration, though they tend to "open up" easier than betas and can accommodate a knot, especially during heat. Most male omegas also opt for a C-section as tearing is a significant risk during birth.

● Slick: all omegas produce slick, a lubricating fluid. This is not the same as real-world vaginal lubrication but serves a similar purpose. Male omegas produce it constantly during heat and otherwise, only when aroused.

● Fertility Cycle: male omegas go through a 1-week heat every 3 months. This is the ONLY time that a male omega can become pregnant. Additionally, most male omega "semen" is completely sterile with no chance of impregnating someone. The chests of male omegas usually swell and become sensitive and tender during heat.

● Sexual behavior: like female omegas, male omegas predominately prefer alpha partners. If they rut-share and have no intention of mating, many wear a collar or patches to avoid an unwanted mating bite. Male omegas also have documented increased prostate sensitivity compared to other males.

Primary Sex: Female

Like in males, there is no definitive, observable external difference between the secondary sexes.

FEMALE ALPHA

● Alpha Fangs: same as males

● Hybrid Reproductive System: female alphas have a vagina, vulva, uterus, and ovaries. The key difference here is the clitoris. Though a regular clitoris most of the time, during pre-rut and rut, the female alpha's clitoris drops and swells out of its internal sheath and becomes much the same size/shape as a male alpha's penis; penetration/impregnation becomes possible with a set of internal testes. However, considering how incredibly sensitive a clitoris is anyway, many female alphas only do full-penetration a couple of times during their rut and then find other ways to pleasure themselves without the oversensitivity.

● Knot: the same as a male alpha, but usually not quite as large.

● Fertility Cycle: like males, female alphas go through a 1-week rut every 6 months. This is the ONLY time that they can impregnate someone as the retractable clitoris is just a normal clitoris at all other times. It usually takes a day or two post-rut for the clitoris to shrink back to normal. Most female alphas cannot get pregnant and few menstruate, so the uterus is mostly vestigial (like an omega male's testes/semen).

● Sexual Behavior: like males, female alphas bite down at climax. As the retractable clitoris only comes out during rut, they usually have sex the same way as female betas do, with most finding vaginal penetration to be pleasurable when paired with clitoral stimulation, though they often need a little help from lube to keep things smooth. Oral sex, of course, is always welcome.

FEMALE BETA

● Physiology is completely analogous to real-world females (with obvious exceptions for those with mutation Quirks).

● Menstruation is a monthly occurance.

● Like all other secondary sexes, beta females have scent glands on their necks, wrists, and inner thighs.

FEMALE OMEGA

● Omega Fangs: same as males

● Reproductive System: indistinguishable from beta females

● Slick: all omegas produce slick, a lubricating fluid. As female omegas have vaginas, it should be said that slick is a markedly different fluid than ordinary hygenic discharge (or even aroused female beta lubrication) in consistency, smell, and taste. Female omegas produce it constantly during heat and otherwise, only when aroused.

● Fertility Cycle: female omegas have a 1-week heat every 3 months, with a 3-5 day menstrual period every month that a heat does not occur. They are most fertile during heats, but a female omega can get pregnant at any time. Apart from any health issues, they are generally more fertile than female betas.

● Sexual behavior: like male omegas, female omegas predominately prefer alpha partners. If they rut-share and have no intention of mating, many wear a collar or patches to avoid an unwanted mating bite.

Other Reproductive Facts

● The titles father/dad/papa/etc. or mother/mom/mama/etc. are determined by primary sex, not secondary sex. It is inappropriate and usually extremely offensive to call a male omega a "mother" or a female alpha a "father." It could even be seen as blatant bigotry as those two primary-secondary combinations are the ones that deviate the furthest from neutral beta biology and classical definitions of what it means to be a man or woman.

● When considering secondary sex, the term "sire" is used to identify anyone who impregnated someone and "carrier" for the person who gave birth.

For example, let's say a typical male/male alpha/omega union produced a child. The child has two fathers, but they can be distinguished as "sire father" and "carrier father" if necessary. The child might call one "dad/daddy" and the other "papa," or really any paternal title. It's the same with "sire mother, carrier mother" in reproductively possible lesbian relationships.

In most male/female heterosexual couples, "carrier" and "sire" become redundant as the primary gender dynamic in heterosexual unions is "sire father, carrier mother." Some couples, like the Bakugou household, are "sire mother, carrier father" though!

● In essence, paternal/maternal titles are social terms, sire and carrier are medical biology terms and occasionally used in the legal world.

● As most people do not hide their secondary genders, it's usually obvious by scent who the sire and carrier are in a family. People who conceal their secondaries are doing so for a reason, so it is a major social faux pas to ask a couple "Who's the sire and who's the carrier?" It's just considered invasive and rude.

● Common combinations that cannot reproduce: male alpha & male beta, male omega & female beta (very rare reproductive success), male beta & female alpha (very rare reproductive success), female omega & female beta.

Female alpha & male omega is a special case. It's borderline impossible with "sire father, carrier mother" but as "sire mother, carrier father" it's a very fruitful combination.

● Less than 1% of people find the scent of their own secondary sex appealing. Of those people, it's almost always a male/female beta pairing (example: the Shimura household) and yes, they can reproduce.

[beast-feast]

FROM CONDOMS TO CATBOYS?????? IMPLYING I WANNA BE A LITTLE MEOW MEOW????????

[babaleshy]

I'm Autistic

Because this will likely be a lengthy, wordy post about my self-diagnosis as Autistic as well as all of my experiences regarding Autistic traits, I'm going to leave a "read more" link so that you're not scrolling for ages just to catch up on your feed.

Ah, I see you've clicked "keep reading" or "read more" or whatever this site has it labeled as, now. You don't get to be mad at how long this is or how much of a waste of time reading this may be to you because you consciously clicked on the link. Therefore, I am exempt from taking responsibilities of eating up any bit of your time, including the time you've wasted reading this disclaimer.

So... Yes. I am. And it's a self-diagnosis right now.

You're probably thinking that I saw a Tik Tok clip, checked out a page on WebMD, and decided that I'm Autistic (this is in reference to a Tik Tok I saw last night that nearly made me spit out my drink because of how painfully accurate the "what people think self-diagnosis is vs reality" clip was). That is, of course, not the case.

A few years ago (likely 2018), I don't recall what it was I read online, but it made me go, "Oh wow, that makes so much sense to me," in regards to a neurodivergent trait. However, this was then I thought I had ADHD. My husband has ADHD, was diagnosed with it as a child, and because his dad forced the doctor (this was like, in the late 90s, early 2000s I think) to put him on Adderall and Ritalin, my husband does not remember 3 years of his life because he was a drooling, zombified mess. Why did his dad do this? Because his grades were bad. Did this help with his grades? No. Did his dad take him off the meds because he didn't get the desired result? Also no. My husband wasn't even informed on what ADHD was. He was simply told he had it and to take these pills. It wasn't until he (my husband) read the label saying that it could increase the risk of heart issues that he cussed his dad out and flushed all the pills down the toilet. Up until very recently, he wasn't sure if he actually had ADHD until he saw a YouTuber who was actually diagnosed with it display the exact traits he had.

But he didn't see this YouTuber when I thought I had ADHD, so my husband couldn't exactly relate, plus I didn't want to trigger anything with him on the subject.

But the more I researched, the more I realized I could be on the spectrum. It wasn't until 2019 that I was printing out articles, trait lists, etc. to highlight and put into a folder (which is thick and nearly bursting with what I've printed out to have a hardcopy of records highlighting the traits that I have, including traits my husband and my mom see in me) that I realized "I could have Asperger's."

Of course, I no longer use that term after finding out it was named after a n*zi, and I began to embrace the term "Autistic" instead.

But the thing that triggered me into going, "Wait, so it's not ADHD that I think I have, it's Asperger's?" was, like my husband, seeing a YouTuber talk about their traits and experiences. I had identical struggles, myself. (Through this same YouTuber, I also found out I'm greysexual, too! There's a name to describe my experience with sexual attraction! Yay!)

There are a lot of VERY SPECIFIC TRAITS Autistic people experience that aren't mentioned by the YouTuber or in anything that I've printed out and highlighted that I have found through various Tik Toks that I have personally experienced that simply further solidifies the fact that I'm definitely on the spectrum. When I showed the Tik Tok I mentioned earlier (I don't remember their name) to my husband last night, he was wide-eyed because the description of how that individual self-diagnosed themselves WAS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WORD FOR WORD HOLY SHIT.

I was already convinced I am Autistic, but each time I read Twitter threads of people's experiences with their Autistic traits, each time I watch Tik Toks or certain YouTubers share their experiences, it further solidifies that yep, I'm Autistic.

What's amazing is that my husband is very supportive. I'm extremely lucky to have married him. I've been a terrible masker but he loves me anyways. He never gave me shit for my meltdowns and tried to help me out, thinking I was just horribly overly stressed. Now that he knows why I've had the few outwardly noticeable meltdowns that I've had throughout our years together, he knows how to help me more, now. And while he's figured out my traits and what issues I have, knowing that I'm on the spectrum helps him make sense of why I'm like this, and he can help me accordingly whether it's to prepare for something in advance, help me calm down, etc.

(I should also add here real quick that there's a high chance I have OCD as well, but less of the compulsive actions and more of the obsessive thoughts, but I'm not entirely sure just yet if this is the case. I'm actually hoping to see someone about this but with the pandemic, I don't know when that will be.)

Now... onto the traits and experiences.

My Traits (that stand out with neon lights)(Will copy word-for-word a trait my mom or husband see in me and it will be typed in a different color.)

Having a folder that has all of my research I've obsessively looked up, printed out, highlighted what I saw in myself with one color (yellow) while highlighting what my mom and my husband see with another color (pink). I'm also using this folder to make this list as a reference because I sometimes forget certain traits I do have are because I'm Autistic. (I'm 32 as I write this, so when so much of what you think, do, and experience that you see is normal for you turns out to be an Autistic trait, it takes a while to get used to it and thus remember that because you haven't had a label for it your whole life.)

Despite being goth/punk, I dress as comfortably as I can. Textures aren't a very big issue for me, but what feels like strangulation of my body tends to be a problem. I cannot handle having the cross seams of pants feeling like I have a chopstick slowly impaling my vulva, or I can't stand how tight some shorts are that they pinch my hip joints.

I've NEVER spent much time grooming my own hair. It's either tiring, I"m impatient and want it done NOW, or both. This is why I have a Tank Girl haircut (all buzzed except for bangs), where I can basically "wash and go." (Husband does my haircuts and dyes and he's kickass at it.)

Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.

Is youthful for age, in looks, dress, behavior, and tastes.

Usually a little more expressive in the face and gesture than male counterparts.

"May not have strong sense of identity and can be very chameleon like before diagnosis." (This resonates with me in the form that I never saw myself in ANY fictional character other than Tank Girl. My husband agrees with this opinion, but he also says he also sees a lot of me in Caulifla from Dragonball Super.)

I enjoy reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's (sometimes), can have favorites which are a refuge.

Uses control as a stress management (like routines, rules, rigid certain habits, etc.)

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.

I've been seen as "sensitive" by some, and mocked for crying a lot by others.

I struggled with social aspects of college and have 2 partial degrees.

Often have trouble holding a job and finds employment very daunting.

Slow at comprehending at times due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.

DOES NOT DO WELL WITH VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS; MUST BE WRITTEN DOWN

Special interests (I'll get into these later).

Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.

Anxiety and fear are predominant emotions (some of which might be due to possible OCD).

I do have some sensory issues such as visual processing issues at times, certain sounds, certain smells, food I think, and issues with sunlight and my goddamn retinas.

Moody and prone to bouts of depression. Both of my parents as well as my husband have described my personality as reminding them of a cat.

Mild to severe gastro-intestinal difficulties (some of which could be due to endometriosis, btw).

I stim a little such as leg-bouncing, foot-waggling, some hand-flapping, some bouncing, the "spine-shimmy," joint-cracking, or playing with my ears.

Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.

Hates injustice and hates being misunderstood, which incites anger and rage.

Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown, likely to stutter and may have a raspy voice.

Words and actions often misunderstood by others.

Perceived to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly.

Very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passionate/obsessive interests.

Will shutdown in social situations once overloaded but generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a "performance."

Doesn't go out much; will prefer to go out with partner only (aka my husband).

Will not do "girly" things like shopping.

Takes relationships seriously.

There's a bit on this chart (some of you probably already know by know what chart I'm using here) that says due to sensory issues, one would either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it. I'm in the former camp complete with a pretty high libido.

Often prefers the company of animals.

So there are the traits that REALLY stick out like a sore thumb. These come from a site regarding female Asperger traits or however it's labeled as. I have plenty more from two other articles I printed out with lots of highlighting, but the chart actually sums a lot of the definitive shit quite nicely. At some point in this list, I could tell I went "fuck it" and copied many things word for word anyways since I'll be talking about experiences later in this post.

But it was this chart that I'd discovered that I started to realize that I really am on the spectrum, and to triple check, I asked my mom and my husband if they saw any of this in me. The traits typed in green are ones I wasn't sure of and had to ask them if they saw it. I'm not always aware of how I am, who I am at times, etc. I also didn't want to lie about it, so I had to get second and third opinions.

Despite all of this, only very few people that know me IRL know about me being Autistic. This is because I was heavily bullied growing up and since I haven't exactly left my hometown, I really don't want whoever stayed in the area as well to either have more fuel and re-enter my life that way, or try really hard to relieve their guilty conscience and demand that I forgive them or some shit. I also don't want "Autism Mommies" to come at my ass either asking that I help their kid (I'm not fond of children so that's not happening, plus ableism is what fucks a lot of Autistic people over regarding of age but they won't take that for an answer) or that because they---a neurotypical person---have a child who's Autistic, then that means they know all about it and because I'm not exactly like their child then I can't possibly be Autistic. It's just a whole mountain of shit I don't wanna get into.

This next bit will be split into 2 parts. One will be my special interests, and the other will be my experiences from my past that are prime examples of being Autistic long before anyone in the common public knew what Autism actually was.

My Special Interests (Both Forever & Temporary)

The following list will have my special interests but with indicators in parentheses as to whether they are forever-interests (as in, I never lost interest in the thing) or temporary (meaning, it was short-lived be it by weeks, months, or a few years). This will be in chronological order, meaning: the order of which these have appeared throughout my life.

Barney (temporary; helped me skip preschool and become honor roll student in kindergarten though)

Halloween (forever)

the color orange (forever)

dinosaurs (forever)

Donkey Kong Country esp. for SNES (forever)

animals (forever)

Godzilla movies (forever)

monster movies (forever)

Pokemon (temporary; I still like Pokemon, but it's not as hyperfocused as it used to be)

Digimon (temporary; same situation as with Pokemon)

Dragonball Z (forever)

Sailor Moon (on-and-off)

Ultimate Muscle (Kinnikuman Nisei) (forever)

Freddy vs Jason movie (still like, but the hyperfocus was temporary)

horror movies (forever)

Transformers (temporary)

Dark Knight movie (temporary)

Harley Quinn (temporary)

Lobo (temporary)

X-Men (forever, but only certain universes, mainly the 90s cartoon, and the character is always Hank McCoy)

neon-colored stuff (temporary; kind of some sort of semi-rave/techno phase)

books (forever; this was when I discovered it's "legal" to enjoy books if you "aren't smart"; I may explain this logic I had later in the post)

sex/sexuality/sexology (forever on the first two, temporary on the last one)

BDSM (on-and-off)

feminism (temporary in regards to doing research and educating myself; I still hold the views I've developed as a result, just not obsessively researching this topic anymore)

anarchism (forever)

ecology (forever)

Pleistocene epoch (forever)

goth and punk stuff (forever after discovering what these things are all about for real compared to when I was in high school and had no idea how to ask, who to ask, or where to look this stuff up at in rural Ohio)

Hellblazer (temporary)

Serbian heritage (on-and-off)

bats (temporary)

arachnids (forever)

teratophilia (forever; finally have a word to describe this damn kink)

gardening (current; unsure)

Russian language (current; unsure)

DIY things (forever)

Towards the end, it may not be in the proper order thanks to slowly losing my damn mind being cooped up mostly in my room on this farm since moving back here in 2014. The two that are "current;unsure" are ones I have a hyperfocus in right now, but I don't know if this will be temporary or not. I certainly hope not, especially considering how useful these things will be. And while I have gardening as one of them, I haven't properly begun yet because I get empty promises from my parents where they claim they'd help me, not to worry about it, then get irritated when I ask where the help is and they suddenly can't give me the help when I told them I needed it.

I should also note that I don't exactly have an encyclopedic knowledge in a whole lot of these interests that are forever-interests because I'm normally exhausted just trying to exist with minimal trouble from people. I'm hoping this will change. The things I know I have an almost encyclopedic knowledge in would be Dragonball Z, animals/ecology, and... a-and that's it. That's really it. That's all I've got because Dragonball Z was so profoundly different compared to other cartoons I've watched in the 90s that it was a wonderful escape, and I grew up around animals, taking care of animals, and watching nature documentaries. The stress I went through growing up has caused my memory of some of that wonderful animal knowledge to be lost and what could be re-gained may be easily forgotten again, hence why I need to narrow my focus for what I'd like to be an ecologist for. While I love paleontology, I want to help the living world's ecosystems and environments, too. I'd love to go back to school for this stuff now that I'm more informed of who I am and what I want in life (as opposed to being forced to pick a college major while still in high school while I'm just trying to survive the concept of existence).

In terms of collecting things pertaining to my interests, a common pattern you'll see me have is a very slowly growing Hank McCoy collection. This is largely because there isn't too much stuff made regarding this character. (There also isn't much stuff I can find that involves Piccolo, Cyndaquil, Donkey Kong, giant ground sloths, etc. that isn't already snatched up by other fans.)

Now, I'm going to get into the list of experiences. Some of which will talk about my special interests, but I also really want to talk about my struggles, too.

Experiences That Screamed "I'm Autistic"

In gradeschool, I was friends with someone who probably wasn't actually a friend and her mom made her hang out with me since I didn't really have any friends. She has told me several times that she didn't want to be my friend anymore with some kind of hostile catty smile, but I just.. I wasn't getting it. Because there was a smile. Why say that with a smile? After all we've been through? Then she's back to being my friend the next week. She really wanted to hang out with the popular girls (yes, there were cliques in 90s American gradeschool) and has done countless things to sabotage our friendship such as telling me Barney is a fake, Donkey Kong was a real gorilla who hung himself, etc. And I believed all this shit, too, in an attempt to still be an acceptable friend. She even told me that I couldn't be a witch because I liked toads so much (toads were the only wildlife I excitedly interacted with in my back yard on a regular basis).

I love Halloween for many reasons, but one of them (aside from my favorite color being involved) was the fact that it was acceptable to wear a mask. I love (and still do) the idea of covering my face because I feel less "naked" to the world. So this pandemic had a small plus for me in the form of mask-wearing outside of Halloween has become somewhat more acceptable.

In 5th grade, another classmate who had more obvious Autistic traits and was diagnosed with Asperger's at the time was an asshole to me. They would constantly give me shit and bully me for whatever reason. When I finally took a stand, the teachers on duty at recess called me to the bottom of the hill, forcing me to look at them WITHOUT allowing me to have my hands up to block the sunlight that hurt my eyes, and were able to manipulate me into "admitting picking on so-and-so for no reason" because I chased them around the playground where a group of girls (the same cliquey assholes the former "friend" wanted to mingle with) had to group-carry me away. They're the ones who snitched and they gave me those same hostile smiles. That's when I learned that not all smiles meant good things. I was 10.

I sometimes "lose the ability" to ask for help long before the "help" I ever got in any circumstance was just me being met with frustration by whoever is trying to "help" me or I'm met with "sorry, can't help you there. (The former being with homework or school work, the latter being with going to authorities about bullies.)

Growing up, I was never girly (or girly enough) and I've tried to, but I failed miserably. My special interests would roar through and because it was too odd or different or annoying, it gave other girls fuel for bullying me with.

Regarding the lack of being girly enough, I was at a pool party with the former "friend" mentioned earlier and she started this "game" where she and the other girls would leap into the pool saying, "I love you, Leonardo!" This was in 4th grade and in reference to the Titanic movie, which at that point, I'd never heard of, because I was too pumped for the latest Land Before Time sequel. So when I leapt into the pool, I said, "I love you, Raphael." All the girls were confused, asked who that was. I then asked, "Aren't we playing Ninja Turtles?" Because the only Leonardo I knew of was a fucking Ninja Turtle, goddamnit. Who let you brats watch that shitty romance film anyways? Boring as fuck.

Aside from the occasional weekend visits or sleepovers at the former "friend's" house, I didn't get to socialize much, so I would spend most of my days (especially in the summer) watching what was on TV or watching from our very large VHS collection. During which I would make mental notes on how certain characters acted or what they said and try to remember that to mimic them in a social setting, which would be out of place because I'd be so focused on mainly the dialogue that once it prompts me to say the thing, they don't respond how I expect them to and then I'm at a loss.

I was very ignorant of music and didn't even know the concept of independent or underground bands existed. Plus, rural Ohio is a cultural wasteland. Otherwise, I would've gotten into metal, goth, and punk way earlier in life. So I thought that bands that existed were because television said so.

Speaking of an odd logic... If it was taboo or bad to talk about, I thought it was illegal. Thus, I thought any knowledge about sex was illegal and that it was supposed to happen "naturally."

I also thought that, because I wasn't considered as smart by my peers, some teachers, and even as such in the form of an insult from my parents from time to time (despite what they claim NOW), that also meant I wasn't allowed to enjoy books, because only smart people are allowed to enjoy reading. So therefore, it would be illegal for me, a not-smart person, to enjoy reading a book. So I had to focus on the pictures because if I enjoyed reading, somehow everyone would know and then I'd get into trouble.

I also thought it was illegal to talk about periods.

I socially struggled BADLY when I got to middle school because my brain was like... 4 years behind? How the fuck do people know all these bigger words? Or complex issues? This was also when I had to start suppressing ALL urges to cry because at that age, I'm not "supposed" to cry over everything. So I still, to this day, suppress it to the point of guaranteeing inducing a headache. Because I've always caught shit for crying.

Middle school was when I met an oppressive "friend" who was obsessed with me because she had a crush on me and was rather controlling of who I could and couldn't talk to and got pissy if I got close to making a new friend. Because I was desperate for a friend that wasn't like the former "friend," I allowed this abuse into my life.

High school was me just trying to survive. By the time I got home, I was too mentally exhausted to enjoy anything short of watching TV or whatever was rented from Blockbuster.

My brain was still feeling like it was years behind, and I struggled to keep up with whatever was supposed to be something I knew about, including the concept of masturbation.

Like I said earlier, anything sex-related might've been illegal to talk about, and because masturbation was still kinda taboo, I feared I'd get in trouble, but my teenage hormones compelled me to do it a LOT. It consumed my free time almost like an escape, a form of stimming, but I was shameful of it to the point of suicidal thoughts.

The former bullet was due to being raised in a christian household. My parents didn't have such views on sex like this, but I was afraid of being in trouble for asking, took to the internet, and caught some misinfo about how immoral it was. I mourned I'd be going to hell.

Speaking of religion, I thought it was illegal to change your religious beliefs, and there was only Judiasm, Muslim, and Buddhism outside of christianity (I'm Pagan, now).

While I was excited to get away from my parents presumably for good after high school, college was a new form of hell. The sudden, dramatic change in environment and lack of ANY preparation for living like an adult on my own caused me to mentally/socially/emotionally malfunction. I had outbursts I desperately tried to suppress, I felt stupid because everybody sounded smarter than me, I didn't actually want to go to art school but wasn't smart enough for anything else and never really bothered to better my artistic skills and thus felt like I shouldn't be there anyways, I struggled to fit in better, I had no idea how to function that certain habits such as neglect of my own dishes on my desk developed because I LITERALLY COULD NOT SEE MY OWN MESSES DUE TO THE STRESS I WAS EXPERIENCING. This was 3 or 4 long YEARS of this.

Attending art classes mostly run by very demanding (and demeaning) teachers while my art skills weren't up to par added to this stress on top of me not actually wanting to be THERE in the first place, just away from my parents.

I nearly ruined a friendship with a roommate because of my struggles. I'm not even sure if she is aware of my Autism because I'm afraid to approach her about it for some reason.

Plenty of times throughout my life where I'm loud and don't even realize it.

I've info-dumped on my parents, but right now they half or completely ignore me.

I've tried making eye contact, but it's like staring in the sun not in the sense of pain, but in the sense of by natural reaction looking away. When I force myself to make eye contact, I'm spending so much focus and effort into doing that to the point where I am unable to pay attention to what the person is saying. Instead, I stare at the mouth so I make sure I hear correctly the words they're telling me.

Each time someone is mad at me and gives me the silent treatment, and I inquire what I did to piss them off, they get madder because I'm somehow supposed to immediately know when I fucking don't. Then, half the time, they continue not telling me and I have to hear it from someone else. This further confuses me as to why they don't just simply fucking tell me.

I've annoyed people to listening to the same one or few songs over and over again. A lot (currently obsessed with the Sunset Overdrive and Tank Girl movie soundtracks).

I can "smell" the heat outside on a summer day.

I can smell other people's unique scents sometimes (especially when in someone's house; also experienced this in other people's dorms).

I can't remember what grade this was, but in high school, we went to some kind of space camp facility thing, and our class was split into two groups: one group was the group who was on Mars and ready to come home, the other was on Earth and can't wait to go to Mars. I was in the former group. My job in this little fun display interactive room thing was to examine the isotopes and report... uh.. I can't remember.. Report something that was off. Everyone else was dicking around with what they're supposed to do, and I was actually doing my job, and then said something, like I was supposed to, if I found something that was off (I don't remember the specifics). When the scientist who worked at the facility praised me on "saving the crew," I caught this look from the entire class a look I can't quite describe other than they didn't seem to like the fact that I did a good thing and was being praised for it instead of any of them (or they were shocked that a "dumb girl" like me could achieve this and get praise for it, I don't know.. hard to tell). This was a science class field trip, but despite this, I didn't have an interest in space, and still didn't feel I was smart. (Come to think of it, I think this was actually an 8th grade field trip, I can't remember.)

Just discovered this today: I'm actually very easily overwhelmed that could trigger a meltdown when I wake up. I don't know for how long until that point passes, either. But this could also be explained with how I've reacted to certain alarm clocks (the ones with the bells just induce pure rage in me). Either I will be on the verge of a meltdown or I'll have a fucking headache all day. Normally, I just wanna drink my coffee and either read or practice a little on Duolingo.

I don't always have enough room for a lot of info in my head for things that I like, so I have to carefully narrow shit down. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do about my urge to get my hands on some monster movies while making sure nothing else I've retained info for wanes. Not sure if this is due to stress or what. But apparently I have designated compartments for certain categories in my brain. If I get into monster movies, continue to work on my knwoledge on ecology and paleontology, and gain more knowledge about arachnids, that shouldn't impede on the "language" category, so whatever I learn in Russian will remain safe.

Interest "Webs."

I have what I'd like to call an "interest web." My special interests in one thing can lead me to having an interest in another. I care about nature, and I also care about paleontology. Paleoecology is something I'd like to dip my toes into. But because this all involves nature, I have an interest in botany (though it's still intimidating so I'm sticking with local native trees) and arachnids (after conquering my fears and learning more about them). So the web stops at arachnids there (no pun intended).

Back to ecology and paleoecology...

I have a major interest in the Pleistocene because it was just before we humans started writing shit down. Hints of that era echoes within our current environment, from the pronghorn being "unnecessarily" fast (due to miracynonyx, the "American cheetah," which is now an extinct cat) to avocados not seeding like they should without human assistance as well as the yucca trees (Joshua trees) going into retreat thanks to the absence of giant ground sloths.

But the planet is warming, and we could use all the help from plants that we get, especially when it comes to making sure that permafrost stays frozen. So there's this "Pleistocene Park" project taking place in Russia, and one day, if I get into the field of paleontology, I may want to chat with those involved in that project, but one can't expect every other country to know English.

There's also FROZEN PLEISTOCENE MEGAFAUNA CARCASSES BEING FOUND IN PERMAFROST, too.

On top of all of this, Russia's northern lands will become habitable for humans if shit hits the fan and the planet's mostly fucked, so it's still nice to know the language.

See how all of these interests intertwine? (It also helps that since I am of Serbian heritage but can't find accessible resources to learn the language and I wanna know a Slavic language that Russian is kind of accessible. It also seems to be the only Slavic language "commonly" found in colleges when it comes to foreign language courses.) This is why I call them "interest webs." Not sure if other Autistic people have them, but it's something that I have.

The second one could simply involve Halloween, punk, goth, monsters, and teratophilia with Halloween being the gateway because my favorite color is orange.

Just thought this would be a fun thing to touch on real quick.

My Sensory Traits

I do experience some sensory traits, but they're not intense like some people would assume (unless I'm simply not noticing how intense they can be).

I can "smell" the summer heat, which was something I thought everybody else experienced but I'm wrong.

My retinas hurt in bright sunlight despite not looking anywhere near the sun, which I also thought everybody else experienced.

Drinks taste different or off in some way if they're not in a particular mug, glass, etc. that the drink is supposed to be in. (I have certain mugs that I enjoy my coffee in, but the other mugs? They taste off. I can't explain why. I have ONLY TWO acceptable little tumbler glasses for orange juice.)

Breakfast food does not taste like breakfast food unless it's on this one specific plate from my childhood.

Dinner can be iffy on certain plates, but the safest go-to is the knock-off blue willow plates.

Lunch is acceptable on anything, but if I'm having simply a sandwich, it must be on a small plate.

I have specific forks I'd prefer to use because of how they feel in my hand, how the food-part feels in my mouth, and how the fork itself tastes.

Gotta have cinnamon in my coffee. I just do. It's not coffee without it.

I cannot fucking handle hair snippets of any size for any reason on my body. This is why there is a rigid procedure to where my husband must buzz my hair over a paper-towel-covered sink (to avoid clogging the drain) while wearing a particular tanktop Harley Quinn night shirt, and then I must shower immediately afterwards. During the haircut, my skin itches like mad like I'm being poked by the hairs directly even in places where hair snippets have never, ever gone.

I'm overly sensitive to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes.

Also cannot brush teeth with cold water because it's so painful (this was LONG before I had dental issues and persists to this day). Even my tongue hurts from it.

I'm picky as fuck with candy. Trick-or-treating was sometimes difficult because all I cared about was either orange-flavored stuff, or chocolate. Only specific chocolates, too (Krackle, Mr. Goodbar, Crunch, Butterfinger, Reese's, that was it.) Skittles were okay, but a lot of the baggies I got had a LOT the red ones and the red ones suck. Can't stand the other candies. (But my tastes have changed since then, and I opt for European chocolate from Aldi's as they are far superior, especially Moser Roth's 70% dark chocolate and Choceur's coffee and cream chocolate.)

Speaking of candy, the Whopper's Robin's Eggs tasted better than regular Whoppers and I will never be able to explain why.

Despite loving orange flavored stuff, I have trust issues when I see an unlabeled orange candy because there's the dangerous chance it could be fucking peach flavored. *gag* (I like real peaches, but the artificial flavored ones suck balls.) Due to my dental situation, I cannot enjoy very much in a way of candy, and the only artificial orange flavoring I CAN enjoy is through Vitamin D gummies... And even then, EVEN THEN I have to worry about the fucking peach flavors if I have to go with a different brand because we can't get our hands on a bottle from Simple Truth.

Artificial cherry flavoring is death.

The ONLY flavored medicine that was acceptable to me was orange (of course) and those dissolving strips that were grape-flavored that they don't fucking make anymore because fuck me that's why. Everything else was peer-pressured to do shots kiddie edition.

The different colored coatings on M&M's taste different from one another and I cannot explain why. It's very subtle, hardly noticeable, BUT I CAN TELL.

Peanutbutter is fucking amazing.

The smell of peanutbutter is fucking not.

There are these frozen meals my husband gets for days he doesn't have energy to cook and one of them (all from the same brand) smells like fucking hell.

My husband's Nissan Cup Noodle ramen overpowers my incense despite what other household members say.

I love incense, especially dragonsblood, "coffee time," pumpkin spice, raven, and rain.

All of the autumn scents or scents associated with autumn are orgasmic to me.

The smell of artificial cherry is death.

I would love to have perfume or body spray of Play-Doh.

I can compare smells of some places to others, such as the library branch I frequent smells like my gradeschool, as do SOME of their books' pages, and when my husband and I walked through this hall-like tunnel-like storefront in downtown Pittsburgh, I said it smelled like my grandma's basement, and he thought the same, so we're in aggreeance that all grandma's basements smell the same. Except for my Baba and Deda's. Their basement smelled like they actually still enjoy life and had their shit together.

Speaking of gradeschool smells, my gradeschool had two directions of classrooms, one led towards the gym, but the hall off to the side was carpeted, had some nice colors, and held 2 kindergarten classes and 2 first grade classes. That section of the building had its distinctive smells. The other direction led to the office, the cafeteria, and the hall with the 2 classes of grades 2 through 5 plus the preschool and the art/music class was. The smell was different in all classes EXCEPT for the music/art class, and I never went to preschool so I wouldn't know what that smells like.

ALL PRINCIPLE OFFICES SMELL THE SAME. HOW.

I could smell when my husband accidentally put in cinnamon when he thought he grabbed paprika in a dish that I liked. He was terrified of telling me. That was a happy accident and it became a permanent ingredient. He was mortified and shocked that I could smell his whoopsie in my dinner he made me.

I can also smell the cinnamon they use in Little Caeser's pizza crust. Yes. They use cinnamon. But I was the only one to notice.

Honey is like peanutbutter: it tastes amazing. But holy shit fuck that smell.

Gas stations smell like death, sadness, and questioning life's choices.

No two people's car interiors smell alike.

I can smell when it will rain soon, especially if it's about to storm.

I'm the one who noticed that hairy white oldfield asters smell like cake batter.

Dominant yellow filling my entire vision can be sometimes painful.

I used to be able to "hear" the color yellow in my head so much I thought yellow actually made a noise. It was a particular shade of yellow, and it made this Playskool toy-like clicking bell ringing noise, but really obnoxiously, almost painfully. I don't know how to describe the shade other than "cloudy pastel lemon?" It looked like the fucking lemon-flavored medicine I had to take as a kid.

My parents tried mixing in this cherry flavored death medicine in with my orange soda thinking I wouldn't know the difference but I did, so I dumped it down the drain and opened a new can because that can of Big K orange was fucking ruined.

Orange is wonderful to my eyes. But it's a hard color for me to find when it comes to getting things in a particular color. My back-up colors are red, green, and purple.

The sunlight hurts my retinas, even when I'm not looking at the sky at all, but the pain intensity increases the further I look up on a sunny summer day. This has been like this since childhood. Prescriptive sunglasses shouldn't be fucking expensive and should be covered by healthcare insurance.

I have to try really FUCKING hard not to stare at someone's muscles in person because ugh... Good thing I rarely see anybody who's well-built. (No really, this isn't even really a sexual thing, I'm so fucking fascinated and once I realize "oh, so that particular muscle looks like that from that angle", I get a glimmer of hope that I MIGHT be able to draw something humanoid since I suck at drawing people.)

Orange trees as so pleasing to the eye, and these are much more socially acceptable to stare at, lest I'm in person and the property owner might think I'm plotting to steal some (luckily I've never been anywhere near a place that grows orange trees).

Neon lights are amazing and I want them to come the fuck back. I swear, stores were so much more enjoyable of an environment when they were common. Such lights improve my mood in a way I cannot describe. I'm no longer in a hurry to get home if I am in the presence of neon lights.

Sunny days during winter are painful because the sunlight reflects off the snow. I'm painfully blinded if I look outside or go anywhere.

I cannot handle the sight of someone having boogers/snot hanging from their nose, not the sight of someone vomiting, nor the sight of an syringe needle piercing flesh.

I cannot handle the sound of alarm clock bells. I have woken up in a rage and been in a bad mood I try so hard to suppress for a good portion of the day. If I hear an alarm clock bell now these days, I wanna take it and chuck it across the room regardless the time of day or if I'm already awake. It's not so bad if I hear it from a video. In person? That's starting a war with me.

Children crying or screaming (especially babies) are almost painful to me and triggers my fight-or-flight response.

The reason why I was the loudest mellophone player in marching band was to drown out hearing the fucking trumpets. And I did; I was louder than the trumpets. (I quit marching band my sophomore year but for different reasons.)

Much of the music from the 80s that gave it that sound that definitely said it's from the 80s is very pleasing to my ears.

I love punk music for its messages, lyrics, and energy, but goth always puts me into a headspace where I feel like I'm at home; I'm at peace and want to cuddle the monster under my bed.

However, some punk songs can hit deep or strong and live rent-free in my head, such as Anti-Flag's "Racist," Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl," and Skarpretter's "Nazi Scum."

One particular artist's voice I cannot get over because his is the first voice of any kind that makes me wanna fan myself is Peter Steele of Type O Negative. My favorite song, however, is "All Hallow's Eve" because his voice, the subject, and the lyrical content.

I'm able to hear something off in the oscillating fan my husband likes to use before he notices it.

I'm the one who can hear coyotes at night (doesn't help my mom wants to blast westerns to drown out the world and I'm back here in my room away from that shit though).

I can hear the branches scraping against the house, gently making creepy noises before I realize what the fuck it is, BUT NOBODY ELSE HEARS IT.

I can recognize the call of a robin because we had so many at the house I grew up in, and nobody else in this family fucking noticed.

I tend to notice the sound of the rain over all the house noise first.

I don't like tight clothing, which is why I prefer bralettes because my tits hurt.

If I could, I'd go without the bra because the band can sometimes suddenly feel tighter than it actually is, but because I have large nipples, I kinda need that bra for a bit of protection.

Shorts can be tight around the crotch, hip joins, and lower belly region, and that's a big no-no for me.

I'd prefer baggy pants, honestly.

Can't have tight footwear. No.

The seam at the top of socks or tights hurt my pinky toes if the whole sock/tights shift that way.

I already covered the hair snippet thing so since this is the sense of touch, another body hair thing is I kinda don't wanna shave my pits anymore because they are extremely itchy when they grow back. HAVE to shave my crotch because if I don't it gets horribly itchy, and my thick, fast-growing hair weaves into underwear, gets caught in pads, etc.

Ah yes. Pads. I hate them, but they're far more acceptable than a tampon or a cup because I have vaginismus.

Certain fabric textures are itchy as hell. There's a black shirt I have whose collar and cuffs are gorgeous but I have to wear something underneath to avoid feeling itchy.

Winter is hell for me here in the midwest, as I am very susceptible to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes. I become very slow, too. I feel like I can't get warm enough most of the time.

Air conditioned places in the summer feel almost similar, so I don't always wear shorts if I'm expected to go into, say, a Walmart with my husband to pick up everything. I'll shiver.

(We're gonna get into TMI territory here.) Can't masturbate by hand unless I've got a nitrile glove on because my brain only focuses on what my fingers are touching more than what my cunt feels.

Can't have any sex with my husband without anything brighter than low-light because things can be visually distracting in the room, or lights can suddenly feel way too bright to me. (Halloween string lights or those LED rope lights with adjustable brightness features and colors are excellent for this situation.)

In Conclusion

This is all that I've figured out so far. None of this hit me at once as a realization when I figured out that I'm Autistic. This took a while to realize it, and the realizations were mostly at random times through examples of other people experiencing it on the internet or through me going, "Huh, is that an Autistic trait?"

There may be even more that I'm currently unaware of or have forgotten to type here.

I apologize for how extremely lengthy this was. This took all day to type because of having to get up and do other things that needed to be done. One of the reasons why I really wanted to type this is because it's much easier to organize this on a computer, and I am absolutely shit at organizing files on my computer.

Unfortunately, while my husband is wonderful in supporting me, my parents aren't exactly all that great at it. Especially my dad, who is either vaguely dismissive or outright "forgets" that I'm Autistic (he honestly just... doesn't care, and tries to make things convenient for him at the expense of others most of the time). My mom... I'm not real sure. There are times where she seems to remember and others where she doesn't. I'm honestly wondering if they don't like knowing that I'm Autistic because that means my brother would have been as his traits were far more obvious than mine.

I hope that whoever is questioning whether or not they're Autistic has found this helpful at least in the sense that it would point you in the right direction on where to go next, but I would highly recommend checking out online Autistic communities, as that's where I've discovered that I'm on the spectrum.

[toxicsamruby]

comparative post abt supernatural and revolutionary girl utena :( tw for incest, csa, abuse, and a brief mention of suicide. Also, spoilers for rgu.

supernatural and revolutionary girl utena (the anime. i havent seen the movie or read the manga this post is abt the show only) hit a lot of the same thematic notes and it is really striking because supernatural seems to hit them by accident and ends up with a totally different conclusion and when you compare it to rgu actually ends up endorsing everything that rgu criticized.

revolutionary girl utena is a surrealist show about ohtori academy, which is removed from reality and controlled by a godlike figure, akio. akio maintains his own power through grooming the students in his care and having them reproduce power dynamics, namely the system of gender, through abuse, violence, and bullying. akio sexually abuses his own younger sister, anthy, and multiple other students over the course of the show, and in turn, boys in attendance at this school learn abusive patterns of behavior while girls are conditioned to accept them. the key themes of the show are cycles of abuse, violence in gender roles, and the way interpersonal gender-based abuse feeds into the larger system of gender and misogyny and vice versa. the fact that ohtori is so removed from reality, that all the fighting and abuse that takes place inside of it is isolated from the "real world," is important; extremely stringent gender roles are reified as natural and necessary, as is akio's power, despite the fact both are social constructs.

surface level, supernatural couldn't be more different, yeah. but it actually does hit similar notes: the system of hunting is removed from the "real world," and although the characters tend to weave between the supernatural and normal worlds, there is always a level of separation between them and normalcy, there's always the sense that the supernatural world is almost entirely distinct from the normal one. even when they do mix, the subplot is resolved, and by the next episode or the next season the mix is forgotten about, as if the real world had never been touched by the supernatural at all. it is considered of paramount importance that "normal people" are never told about hunting but never explained why (this rule, at least originally, is made by john. an abusive figure of authority making arbitrary rules of isolation to control the children in his charge? hm.)

this level of isolation between the supernatural and the "real world" helps to reify the concept of monstrosity itself: within the world of hunting, anything other than human is a monster, even though these definitions are constantly shifting and the consequences for monstrosity change frequently. we are shown over and over again, textually, that there are many many sentient monsters with thoughts and feelings and emotions and needs and desires, who are just as morally complex as any human beings, but most of them end up under the control of hunters or exterminated anyway. why IS a monster a monster? the separation of hunting from normalcy serves to keep people from asking that question. the system of hunting is so entrenched in the world of the supernatural, and the world of the supernatural is so separated from normalcy, that the concept of monstrosity is considered to be natural and necessary. where a "normal" person might ask why those vampires in 'last holiday' had to be killed bc they didn't really do anything wrong on screen, hunters know that monsters need to die because that's the rules of the supernatural world.

in rgu, akio maintains his control of ohtori through the hierarchy of gender. that's how the school is structured, with boys playing a specific role and girls playing the counterpart role. akio needs that system, because it's what facilitates his abuse of anthy, and his abuse of anthy (and similar relationships where boys abuse girls and more specifically brothers abuse sisters) is what gives the rest of the system permission to continue existing. touga grooms and later sexually assaults his younger sister nanami. touga is a human child, no older than 16 years old, and was himself groomed by akio and the system in which he lives. his abuse of nanami is a manifestation of that system. these abusive relationships allow and are allowed by the system. at the end of the show, utena and anthy, two girls abused by akio, help one another escape not only their abuser but the school which permitted and fed off of their abuse. their escape doesn't destroy akio or ohtori or the system as a whole, but it puts a crack in it. it serves as a example to other abused children, and offers a path to healing. overall, its a genuinely impactful story about how gendered abuse happens, how damaging sibling abuse and incest is, and how a system of power both facilitates and depends upon abusive relationships happening within it.

the interesting thing about this is that supernatural's system of power is different (monsters and humans instead of girls and boys), but it's also enforced in similar ways by the god figure (well. the literal biblical god, actually. chuck.) in supernatural. monsters and human beings are divinely separated both in the afterlife (despite the arbitrary nature of the difference between them) and on earth (chuck has written down everything ahead of time, especially surrounding the protagonist hunters and their way of life). sam is established very early on to be monstrous, first because of the demon blood, then as lucifer's chosen vessel, later as soulless. each time, he needs to be brought back under human/hunter control, meaning dean's control. dean's authority over sam (and later his abuse of him) is in part a manifestation of the accepted power dynamic of hunter over monster, which is established at the beginning of season 2 when john tells dean that he might have to kill sam if he becomes a monster.

in rgu, the only acceptable male-female dynamic is controller and controlled, protector and protected, abuser and abused. women can only be witches, like anthy, or princesses, like nanami. in supernatural, the only acceptable human-monster dynamic is the same. monsters can only be 1. dead, or 2. under the control or supervision of a human/hunter. most end up dead, of course, but sam was always under the supervision of dean. it's at dean's discretion whether or not to kill sam in season 2, it's dean who's trying to get control of sam all through seasons 4 and 6. because of sam's self hatred about his monstrosity and "disappointing dean," he nearly kills himself at the end of season 8, and dean again makes major decisions for sam. the imbalanced dynamic between them is in large part because sam's humanity is always in question, and it's always up to dean to protect him, to control him, to put him down if need be. in supernatural, the imbalanced relationship btwn sam and dean is facilitated by the rules of the supernatural world, and it is because they can't break out of this power imbalance that they are so completely incapable of rethinking the system of hunting.

of course, it isn't 100% dean's fault. he was given the responsibility of Sam by john and by the bigger system of hunting. touga was groomed and most likely abused by akio, and it was only in imitation and admiration of akio that he abused nanami in the first place. in the context of hunting, it's dean's job to do harm, because that's the job that's been assigned to him by his father, the larger power system, and chuck. he was abused, and he also suffers by being forced into this role- he can't really connect with the people he cares about in a meaningful way. that's how the cycle continues.

the weird difference between the two? the system of hunting is never actually criticized, and the relationship between dean and sam is never addressed as abuse. so while revolutionary girl utena is a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of sibling abuse and gender, supernatural is a hamfisted action story that validates unhealthy family dynamics and eugenicist ideas about "monsters" that aren't really monsters at all. so at the end of rgu, utena and anthy break free of ohtori and akio. they end the cycles of abuse and are finally able to see each other outside of the roles prescribed to them by an abusive system. at the end of supernatural, the cycle isn't broken, the idea of monstrosity remains unrefuted, and sam and dean never see each other any differently than they always have.

[blackroseraven]

On Love and Equine Understanding

A research paper came out recently discussing the idea that horses do not feel love, at least not towards their human counterparts. But what is love? I don't mean that as a philosophical question, either, I mean, can you actually quantify love in one singular way that applies to all human beings? Sure we can; love as a chemical concept. And if love is merely a chemical reaction in the brain, then humans experience 'love' no differently from an animal experiencing love as it is programmed to, for the survival of the species.

Some people get extremely angry and defensive when you so much as hint at the concept that maybe, just maybe, animals have some kind of emotions, or maybe even some level of understanding or sentience beyond what we traditionally attribute to them. It's a natural defensive reaction for many cultures, and for people who have been taught that animals are merely lumbering food sources. If a cow might think and feel, then eating a cheeseburger feels like a much more morally gray area. Then there's also the question of superiority, of humanity's place in the world: it can trigger feelings of impotence and anger, as if an animal being able to feel and think intrudes on the sacred space of human sentience.

People react viscerally: go on twitter and look at the comments on any video demonstrating animal intelligence and look at how hostile people are to the concept of animals being able to think or react even slightly. We also see again the idea that 'understanding' and 'reacting to stimuli' are two completely different phenomena, which isn't entirely correct: babies don't cry because they 'understand' what it does, but instead as an instinctive reaction, much as a dog might bark, or a horse might stomp a hoof to try and express itself. In a literal sense, learning language is similar: you teach 'dog' by pointing at a dog or picture of a dog, and have the child repeat it. The child learns the word, but not the entire concept; there's no grasp of metaphor at a young age, nor may they even understand that 'dog' means more than merely this specific instance of dog.

It's important to remember that raising the status of something else doesn't diminish, nor endanger our own. People - usually in bad faith - exclaim that if we were to treat animals as having some degree of sentience beyond instinctual reactions, then immediately we're going to want to extend human rights and virtues to them. This is similar to the arguments made in 2012 and beyond that legalizing gay marriage would create a slippery slope where humans would demand to marry animals, corporations, and everything in between.

Humans have to couch things in human terms: as we have no real choice but to do, we look at things and make deductions based on what we understand, which is a reasonable and logical way to approach the world. The problem becomes that for some people, science is not an ever-expanding field, but rather we know everything there is to know about everything: a sentiment that has largely dominated since the 1980s, in spite of the massive steps in scientific discovery and experimentation we've taken since.

For example, we look at the horse's brain and compare it to our own, and deduct that "horses have a less developed frontal cortex, and instead the horse is ruled by the cerebellum;" in layman's terms, instinct over thought should be the ruling notion. We extrapolate from this what horses are likely incapable of, because we're basing this on what we feel we know about the brain, which is largely deduced from studies of human brains. Horses can't think like humans do! Ridiculous!

Maybe true. But then we see studies such as a blanketing experiment done in Norway, and we discover that horses are capable of an understanding beyond what we have accredited to them: horses will choose whether or not they want a blanket on in inclement weather, based on their own comfort levels. This sounds easy, but think about it: the horse has to connect that symbol to an understanding of what that symbol means, and furthermore, has to do so based not on input from the human trainer, but the state of weather outside. This goes against what horses traditionally are thought to be able to "understand."

In no way does this mean horses think like us, but it should humble us a bit and make us consider that perhaps horses are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for. Furthermore, it is an extremely easy experiment to replicate and one that I've done myself. Now, fully recognizing this makes me sound biased, I repeated this experiment myself with three very different horses. Even when I purposefully tried to nudge a horse towards choosing one option or the other, they went with what was best for them: furthermore, the behavior towards being blanketed changed, with horses relaxing and waiting for the blanket instead of fidgeting on the spot or being more reactive towards it when blanketed - Quattro in particular, who stood quiet and still even when not secured to the crossties, until blanketed when he asked for one.

Quattro also displayed an interesting behavior in which he would sometimes touch "no" when given a treat or being fed, and then he would touch "yes" when asked afterwards: ie, he did not want his blanket on during the behavior, then wanted it on afterwards. Yes I understand how massively unscientific this is and yes I understand stimulus, but it's interesting to note all the same, especially with how consistent it is in the given scenario.

Ultimately I think we have a lot to learn about horses, and we have to be better at recognizing our own biases, even towards science and "what we think we know." We know very little, and that's okay. We may never have the answers and I may be completely incorrect in my assessment, but without the ability to truly look into the horse's brain, we'll never know.

I do have biases: I come from a Native American background and one prevalent concept is that every life is sacred and equal. Animals are our cousins, our family: the human role is to honor and care for them, as they clothe us, feed us, and protect us. To some people this translates to me saying "my life is no more important than this gnat's," which sounds incredibly nihilistic: I would argue instead that "the gnat's life is as important as mine." That doesn't mean I'm not going to crush a mosquito if it bites me: I simply recognize its place in the chain of life, as I recognize my own. We are both playing our roles in nature.

Quattro, my horse, is my equal. He is my partner, and my companion. I use the word "nitisan" for him, which means little brother, but also much more than that metaphorically. I don't expect him to understand all of what he is to me, but I do want him to know that he is my equal, and if he isn't well, or he's uncomfortable doing something, then I'll help him instead of forcing him through it. Similarly, when Quattro tells me he's ready to try something, then I'll help him try, even if I'm the one who's nervous about it. I work hard not to apply the concepts of dominance and submission in our relationship because, again, those are human concepts that are incorrect to force on animals: it's just another way we try and understand things, because as humans, we ourselves tend to look at everything as either conquering or dominating or winning, or submitting and failing and being 'less than.'

I do love my horse, and perhaps he doesn't love me in the same way, but he trusts me, respects me, and works with me, side-by-side. To me, that is love, and that is more than enough.

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Utahraptor ostrommaysi

By Nix, CC BY-NC 4.0

Etymology: Thief from Utah

First Described By: Kirkland et al., 1993

Classification: Dinosauromorpha, Dinosauriformes, Dracohors, Dinosauria, Saurischia, Eusaurischia, Theropoda, Neotheropoda, Averostra, Tetanurae, Orionides, Avetheropoda, Coelurosauria, Tyrannoraptora, Maniraptoromorpha, Maniraptoriformes, Maniraptora, Pennaraptora, Paraves, Eumaniraptora, Dromaeosauridae, Eudromaeosauria, Dromaeosaurinae  

Status: Extinct

Time and Place: Between 129 and 120 million years go, from the Barremian to the Aptian ages of the Early Cretaceous 

Utahraptor is known from the Yellow Cat and Poison Strip members of the Cedar Mountain Formation 

Physical Description: Utahraptor was a very large raptor dinosaur, and had the associated bodily characteristics - a bulky trunk, shorter legs, long arms, large head, and long, stiffened tail. It was really and truly huge, about 7 meters long and 500 kilograms in weight - about the size of a modern Grizzley or Polar Bear, though they might have been heavier than previously thought. Like other raptors, it had huge sickle claws on its feet, and the claws were probably around 24 centimeters long - or even longer, if they had been covered in a keratin sheath as potentially thought. The skull of Utahraptor has not yet been described, so for now we can only say that it had a long, triangular head like other raptors, with sharp serrated teeth. As with other raptors, it would have been feathered - with very large wings for flapping, and a distinctively huge tail fan. The legs of Utahraptor would have been slightly less feathered, but still distinctive. In short, it was a big and fluffy bird-bear, and the largest predator in its environment. 

By Matt Martyniuk, CC BY-SA 3.0

Diet: Utahraptor was a large predator and, accordingly, ate large sources of food such as ornithopods and younger sauropods. 

By PaleoNeolitic, in the Public Domain

Behavior: As a raptor, Utahraptor would have been most analogous to a cat - probably stalking alone rather than in packs, and utilizing ambush behavior to trap its prey. Since it had somewhat stubby legs and wasn’t very fast at all, it couldn’t have relied on pursuit to attack its food, even if its food was just as slow as it was. Instead, these powerful legs helped Utahraptor to jump onto its food and surprise it, even from the ground where it spent its time. It then could use raptor prey restraint (RPR) to stay balanced on the prey, flapping its wings rapidly as the prey moved around and tried to escape. Those impossibly large sickle claws then were used to strategically stab at places where the prey would bleed out - important veins and arteries - rather than slash. In addition to this, Utahraptor would have been able to flap its wings rapidly and run up steep surfaces - a technique called Wing-Assisted Inclined Running (WAIR) -  even vertical ones, like cliff faces and trees. This allowed Utahraptor to reach strategic vantage points and search for prey - and even jump down onto it from high heights. These techniques allowed Utahraptor to not only hunt the similarly-sized Ornithopods of the time, but also potentially attack the even larger Sauropods with which it shared its home. When it needed a smaller snack, that large claw could be used to pin down struggling furry mammals and lizards, in order for Utahraptor to then take a bite. 

By Fred Wierum, CC By-SA 4.0

Though Utahraptor did not hunt in packs, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t social - and, indeed, there is considerable evidence not yet described that it lived in dense family groups. This would probably mean that adult Utahraptor would go out hunting on their own, while the little ones would gather their own food, before coming together in the same space for safety from other Utahraptor and just to spend the night. It is very likely that Utahraptor took care of its own young based on its relatives - and there’s hopefully more evidence on the way to corroborate this. This was a very complex social animal, using those fancy wings and tail fan to display to other Utahraptor - by holding up the wings and lifting the tail fan to display, it could communicate with others that it was a threat, that it wanted to mate, or to stay away from its nest. In general, it would have behaved very bird-like - walking around, bobbing its head, and moving its head to look for food and for each other rather than moving the eyes. And, like birds, it would have been very active, and warm-blooded. 

By Ashley Patch

Ecosystem: When the Cedar Mountain Formation supported Utahraptor, it was a very large floodplain environment, that periodically flash flooded and filled the valley with mud. This was a seasonally wet environment with a variety of rivers, forests, prairies, and open woodlands. The ecosystem had a short wet system and a very long, tedious dry season. Utahraptor shared this environment with countless creatures - the tuataran Toxolophosaurus, the turtle Glyptops, a variety of fish, the mammaliaform Cifelliodon, and - of course - other dinosaurs. There was the ankylosaur Gastonia, the large Iguanodon-like Ornithopods Cedrorestes, Hippodraco, and Iguanacolossus; the Sauropods Cedarosaurus and Mierasaurus; the Therizinosaurs Martharaptor and Falcarius; the Troodontid Geminiraptor; the Ornithomimosaur Nedcolbertia; and another raptor - Yurgovuchia! This gave Utahraptor a wide variety of things to hunt in its environment. 

By Emily Willoughby, CC By-SA 3.0

By the time of the later Poison Strip environment, things were changing rapidly in Cedar Mountain. Dry seasons were longer now, and a significant amount of sand was washing through the ecosystem. This made life higher in the floodplain, and probably eliminated many of the forests and river-woods that had been present prior to, leaving only a somewhat scrubland-esque plain. Accordingly, creature diversity actually went down - it was something of an ecosystem collapse. There was still food for Utahraptor to eat - the Ornithopod Planicoxa, and the sauropods Moabosaurus and Venenosaurus; but that was it. Utahraptor, thus, was living in a miniature extinction event - and disappears from the environment by the time the mud and rainy seasons returned in the Ruby Ranch Environment, and the large predator niche was replaced by the carnosaur Acrocanthosaurus. 

By Calum O’Halloran

Other: Utahraptor was the largest raptor known, and we actually have many fossils of it - but they’re trapped in a block! Well, there isn’t funding to remove them from the block, anyway. So much more could be (and will be, dammit!) written about this excellent dinosaur if it was adequately funded to be researched properly. Check out the Utahraptor Project if you want to learn more about Utahraptor - and consider donating! Literally every penny helps. Utahraptor is also one of the inspirations for the raptors of Jurassic Park, along with Deinonychus - though, obviously, those creatures do not resemble their real counterparts in the slightest.

~ By Meig Dickson

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[detective-with-one-arm]

Misanthropy Headcanons (Wereverse)

So, because I have some thoughts, here are some casual lore stuff I’ve thought of for the wereverse.

Misanthropy:

Lycanthropes (werewolves) are the most common form of misanthropy.

However, there are actually many forms of misanthropy, such as ursanthropes (werebears), caninthropes (weredogs), felinthropes (werecats), and many other less common misanthropes.

Each variant of misanthropy expresses itself differently in the individual, both due to the individual’s personality and due to the animal reflected in them.

There are three types of misanthropes - born, turned, and cursed - and all three have unique characteristics that define them.

No matter the species, all misanthropes have night vision when they turn.

Naturalborn Misanthropes:

Naturalborn misanthropes can breed with other naturalborn misanthropes.

While the chances of their children carrying misanthropy is increased when they breed, it is not guaranteed and it is possible for the gene to be dormant in their offspring and for them to not be misanthropes.

While misanthropes can breed with other misanthropes, whether or not the genes carry is up to chance. The chance is highest when two of the same variant of misanthropes copulate and lowest when two of different variants copulate. There is a higher chance of the gene carrying between a misanthrope and a human than two misanthropes of different variants.

Naturalborn misanthropes are more like the traditional anthropomorphic depictions that are common in pop culture visually speaking.

They are more in-tune with their animalistic characteristics and they present themselves in their daily lives whether they’re turned or not.

When they are turned, they are aware and conscious and retain their “selves.” They simply behave a bit more like the animal variant that they are without losing their essential personalities and they remain aware of themselves and their surroundings and memories aren’t lost between forms.

Turned Misanthropes:

Turned misanthropes cannot pass on their misanthropy through breeding.

The only way turned misanthropes can pass on their misanthropy is through delivering a bite that gets infected. With swift treatment, a bite from a turned misanthrope will heal and the individual will be fine.

The scar remains permanently if it does not heal properly and the individual is turned.

While some speculate that naturalborn werewolves are the origin of turned misanthropes, this is not the case. It’s unknown where turned misanthropes truly originated.

Unlike their naturalborn counterparts, turned misanthropes maintain a firm separation between their human existences and their animal states.

They do not exhibit any of their respective animalistic characteristics while they’re human under any capacity.

Once they turn, they hold no memory of their human life and behave exactly as their animal form would behave in the circumstance that they would shift. The same also happens once they shift back. They have no recollection of their experiences while they were shifted. The only thing that they know once they shift back is that they transformed. But that is the only memory they have.

Unlike their naturalborn counterparts, turned misanthropes appear while shifted just as ordinarily as their animal form. There is nothing particularly defining about their animal forms. A turned lycanthrope will appear as an ordinary wolf when shifted and will behave no differently than a real wild wolf.

Cursed Misanthropes:

Cursed misanthropes are interesting creatures.

They are not bitten, thus they are not “afflicted.” They cannot pass on their misanthropy under any circumstances, whether by infection or by breeding, despite their instincts driving them to breed.

They are a strange amalgamation of traits associated with both turned and naturalborn misanthropes while exhibiting their own unique characteristics.

Like naturalborn misanthropes, cursed misanthropes exhibit animalistic traits associated with their animal counterparts. Some may even exhibit subtle physical characteristic associated with their specific animal form.

But more like turned misanthropes, there is a degree of separation between their human form and their shifted form. They remember nothing either from their human form while shifted or from their shifted form while human.

However, unlike turned misanthropes, cursed misanthropes are not even aware of the shift at all. As far as they can tell, it’s either a bad dream or a simple sleep disorder.

Their shifted form is more like turned misanthropes, where they appear to be just a bigger version of their specific animal. However, unlike turned misanthropes, the longer they remain cursed, the more monstrous their shifted forms become. And depending on the nature of the curse, other qualifications may be met to accelerate the curse.

On a long enough timeframe, the curse may affect their human form, as well. Behaviorally, they may start behaving more like their cursed animal form. And after a long enough time, if the curse is not lifted, they may remain permanently trapped in their shifted form until they die and the curse can never be lifted. Once the curse has progressed fully, they cannot die of natural causes. They can only be killed.

Depending on the nature of the curse, it can drive their shifted form to do many unsavoury things. The most common of these is simply bloodlust, a need to maim, feed, destroy, and even mate. A specific target of their tendencies, such as humans, may also be specifically defined.

The curse can be lifted, but it is difficult as the terms and conditions of the curse are not made privy to the unfortunate victim and unless someone is willing to help them try to reverse engineer how the curse works and what can be done to lift it based on the effect it has on the individual, it’s unlikely that the individual will ever be aware enough of it before they either completely succumb to it or are killed.

It’s unknown where these curses originate from. Some speculate vengeful witches or spellcasters. Some believe it originates from the individual messing with spiritual or otherworldly places and objects they shouldn’t have, like a fae circle. But regardless, individuals never know that they’re cursed until it’s too late.

Thankfully, cursed misanthropes are extremely rare.

While naturalborn and turned misanthropes can both be killed like any other creature, a cursed misanthrope can only die by using silver once the curse has completely progressed.

[sugar-petals]

Sub!BTS: How Fast Would They Like To Have Sex?

NOTE › I already made an imagine on how they’d sound like in bed (link in replies), now this is the counterpart ❤️ You’ll find a rating in this as well, 10 being extra fast, 1 very slow.

warnings ⚠️ toys, rough sex, dom!reader, restraints, brat taming, spanking, whips, gags, blowjobs, masturbation.

jungkook (7/10) ⇢ Fast but not furious. Sex is all grin and giggles first and foremost to him. What’s fucking without a good belly laugh here and there? Humor is as important as pleasing you head to toe. It’s a little mutual workout, too. So whatever is on either of your gym playlists is about as fast as it’ll get. Hint: You’ll definitely hear a lot of skin on skin. Not to sound formulaic: Busan guys have a lot of stamina, pain tolerance, and will to endure. He’s learned his As and Bs, observant JK will adapt quickly to how you move with a keen instinct. Oh, Jungkook, the goodest boy.

jimin (8/10) ⇢ The laws of this land are no longer functional when Jimin’s deceptively cute animal print boxers are off. Free reign for your lusty ideas, the tricks, the toys, the kisses, the pinches, the provocative whispers in his ear that work him up. All with hips doing overtime left and right. Fluid, snapping. The sheets will get twisted, it’s what keeps both of you coming back for more. Still, Jimin is not the type who fantasizes all day about getting completely shredded. Babe dreams about you being both tough and smooth with him and likes to move in staccato to catch a breath now and then. 

taehyung (2/10) ⇢ A vibrant chanson or tender elevator music would still be adequate as background music when Kim Taehyung wants you to be a little more hands-on with him. There really isn’t much raging wild stuff going on regularly. Elegance has definite priority here. Sex is art. Being so dignified, you can both savor the moment, feel everything, let the muscle memory do its job. Even when you bring out the vibrating anal beads and riding crop to trace his body, movements are lush: Sex can be great leisure with Taehyung. Orgasms are plenty, so are massages and ample foot rubs. 

seokjin (5/10) ⇢ As we know: He’s a babe, and babes can do everything. So the speed is pretty varied and often unpredictable, which keeps your sex life beyond interesting. On the lazy days, the afternoons, it’s often tending towards a slower tempo, especially for witty roleplaying. Lanky Jin does well getting fucked in andante and allegro, not presto if you get what I mean. Otherwise, those long model legs are all wound up in one second. Unless it’s for a wild cock riding now and then, this is certainly not the most spine breaking (song pun intended, yep) territory in BTS. 

yoongi (9/10) ⇢ Lazy grandpa sex? Not in the House of Min. Yoongi needs it bad, he craves a mess to shake him up from daily life’s endless strain. Back on his best slutty behavior, back to spread his shapely legs, back to moaning his naughty soul out. Free pass for you to really dole out a rougher scolding— see if his cock can handle. In most cases, sloppy overstimulation and edging is Yoongi’s best friend. He’s addicted to having his orgasm denied over and over, getting thrown on the bed, bitten. Add fast spanks on the ass while he wears some thigh highs, bent over your lap.

hoseok (10/10) ⇢ A true brat to tame and ruin for you. Fast, faster, Jung Hoseok, you name it. He’s a German sports car in bed. Ever heard that there’s no speed limit on German highways? These cars are built for beast mode. So get the damn seat belt into position. I mean, the bondage rope on his body. And the various lubed up big dildos to try out on him. A good pounding and drilling needs heavy pace and solid bedposts. Tolerant neighbors, too. Hoseok can take quite a lot. Bit of an ouch factor going on there, aftercare with suave kisses galore and ointment is so important.

namjoon (8/10) ⇢ Okay. How to put it. No wasted time with your submissive darling Joon. He’s capable of lewd things that would make all the dommes in this world line up at his studio. Even giving him a handjob has quickie level speed. You know. Really beating the devil out of it. He can take it. Bob Ross would surely approve of the cum splutter painting that Namjoon leaves on his own chest. The real deal starts, however, when you have him tangled up with bound wrists and a gagged mouth, so all you hear is muffled groans when you lick and tease his cock goodnight. 

[morbidoptimisim]

Why do you ship Jinx and Raven? The reason is that I ship BBRae and StarfireXRaven (Well not in Teen Titans in Alternate DC Universes)

TLDR: 

-I’m a lesbian, that’s why. 

Long answer: 

( THIS IS NOT A BASH ON  BB/Rae SHIPPERS, U JUST ASKED FOR MY PERSONAL OPINIONS;; )

-Beast Boy is afraid of Raven & her powers and uses his goofs to power through that instinctual? response. While he demonstrates far more maturity in some of the older comics (which I approve of well enough), he’s not equipped to handle a relationship with Raven in the cartoon. Even in fanworks, the only time he comes across with any centering, is when he’s depicted in animal form; I find that incredibly telling. -I can’t get behind shipping their original cartoon counterparts, since I’m personally NOT a fan of the “annoy the girl till she likes you” tropes that a LOT of media push into het relationships.  the whole “opposites attract” thing is… not an excuse? If they weren’t part of the same crime-fighting team, I doubt Raven and Beast Boy would have any shared interests AT ALL, which leads me to believe that Raven is more of a victim of heteronormativity than anything else. You can’t look at her and tell me she’s not composed of queer coded markers, lol. &  Admittedly a lot of my dislike for this ship boils down to my absolute hatred of the “loveable douchbag” trope forced down everyone’s throats since the 80′s/90′s. Don’t get me wrong, I Iike Beast Boy as a character and he works well as a friend, I just don’t see the Raven/BB “no really! he’s her ‘missing half’! He’ll ‘change her for the better’ and ‘get her out of her shell’!” appeal. 

Personally, I feel that out of all the Titans, Beast Boy is the one most affected by Raven’s demonic aura. That he can smell the unsettling demonic signature in her body & it sets the animal instincts off within him to be exceedingly wary around her, which he feels guilty about, and is why he tries so hard to come across to Raven as though it doesn’t actually bother him, and like he’s completely fine with her and her ‘creepy’ bits; not knowing that his denial and good intentions, actually make it harder for Raven to trust him & feel comfortable around him, as his forced joviality sets off her empathic warning bells. There isn’t much either one of them can do about the state of things however, so they try to ignore it best they can, though Beast Boy feels like Raven’s biting sarcasm and passive aggression is a silent challenge for him to work harder around her and Raven mostly just feels tired.    

*Coercing a girl into saying yes just cause she’s tired of saying no & she thinks everyone expects her to give into him eventually anyways, is NOT a fun ship dynamic for me. 

-Starfire & Robin I ship together, but as they grow into Kori and Nightwing I actually headcanon that they keep an open invitation for Raven to join them; both Starfire and Robin/Nightwing handle Raven’s abilities and personal boundaries a lot better, especially in the older comics. I don’t think Raven would join them as a permanent fixture of their relationship, but I imagine its a fun exploratory period for the three of them for a brief handful of times.  

I see Robin/Raven specifically not so much as a sibling dynamic as an adopted-guardian and their troubled-ward dynamic; essentially: they’re doing their best to cope with their semi-awkward positionings. -Robin is both her team-leader AND mind-linked ‘sounding board’. Raven meanwhile, is always the ‘tragic little girl’ that Robin feels he has to 'Save’.

She uses him as her gage for human/Earthly morality, and he knows it, and they both know that it puts a lot of pressure on him; so he usually ends up attempting to give her he thinks she wants. -Which is difficult, since Raven usually doesn’t know what she’s looking for, and doesn’t often inform him of any results or formed opinions that occur afterwards.

She shares a similar relationship with Starfire; being the stand-in for a true connection with Blackfire that Star could never have but always desired.

Raven/Robin would never work out because they’re too similar and would feed into each other’s negative habits too much; never sleeping, diving too much into work, ect. Theyre good work partners, not good dating partners.

Raven/Starfire is cute, but Starfire is IN LOVE with Robin. Starfire/Robin is one of the few m/w canon ships I actually enjoy. I’m not breaking them up, even in headcanon. So it’s threesies or nothing, lol.  

-Jinx: 

Okay, so; remember when I said Beast couldn’t handle Raven? 

well, what about a girl who HAS MAGIC and KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE FOR THAT MAGIC TO BE INHERENTLY VOLATILE. Jinx walks down the street, six people are getting struck by lightning, tripping, or having their parking meters expire, and other such ‘bad lucks’; she knows what having an unsightly power is like. She’s fought with Raven before, and *beaten* her in battle before. She knows what Raven is routinely capable of. she went to SCHOOL for STUDYING HEROS and how to defeat them. She grew up in more of a real-world setting?? Like;; Jinx might be the ONLY QUALIFIED person to help Raven with her situation? Ex: “Hey, maybe you ever think instead of demons… its also PTSD? Let me google some shit and ill hook you up with something for that” 

and she’s a TOP STUDENT. she LEADS A TEAM. She’s smart, resourceful,, she’s capable of taking things seriously and having fun without being scared off by raven’s power or cynical moodswings. I feel that Jinx would be one of the few capable of tempering Raven’s behaviors constructively. -The girl’s dealt with the Hive all her life. she’d be able to withstand Raven’s bluffs and threat displays, no sweat while also remaining unadmonishingly instructive.   

And Raven meanwhile, can show Jinx that having dangerous powers doesn’t make villainy her only option WITHOUT sacrificing the capabilities having those powers or past experiences bring (*cough unlike how kid flash dismisses them cough cough*) (I HATE Jinx/Kid Flash but i’ll save that rant for now)

They could help each other out with their traumas, theyre more likely to have common interests,,, (types of books and music preferences, spellwork, ect) 

There’s just a lot more potential for exploring their personalities and moralities together. ^^

The “enemies to friends to lovers” trope is especially gay, which I, a homosexual, vastly approve of;;  

-I ship Raven with a lot of “darker” themed girls. Jinx. Ace. Ravager, Blackfire would be fun; Cassandra Cain maybe. Lady Death. Rogue.   

[ventivante]

Part One | Part Two summary | can be found here! genre | jennifer’s body!au, college!au, horror, supernatural, humor, angst, demon!wooyoung; wooyoung x reader, mingi x reader warnings | language, discussions of death, toxic friendships, angst, mentions of death, mentions of sex word count | 1.9k (sorry it’s a lil short)

DISCLAIMER: this fic contains lots of dark subject matter and i will put any specific trigger warnings before each part. i do not condone the unhealthy relationships portrayed in this fic, nor do i believe the characters’ real life counterparts to display these behaviors.

a lil send off before i leave for vacation!

The next couple of weeks were quiet around campus. Of course, word had spread about the dead student, so curfews were in effect until the supposed animal was captured. Most people were a bit on the somber side in the wake of the events that had taken place. You asked Hongjoong if he had known who it was that had been unfortunate enough to meet his end, but he didn’t have a clue as to who it was. The media hadn’t released his identity either, or even confirmed that it was in fact a ‘him.’ Regardless, small vigils had popped up around campus in the unnamed student’s honor and there was an air of mourning shared amongst most people.

Aside from Wooyoung, that is.

In the days following, Wooyoung had remained just as cheerful as ever. Other than the evening he had walked you home from the library, he was acting like his usual self. He’d often come to your apartment to binge-watch anime and, at your behest, to study as well. He’d even convinced you to go out to a karaoke bar one night you were feeling a little overwhelmed with schoolwork, which had helped you ease some tension as you sang your lungs out together.

You hadn’t spent a lot of time together since the semester began, and you were grateful for the quality time now, even if some moments were a bit weird. There were instances where you had caught Wooyoung looking at you as you read over your notes or during one of your Netflix marathons. The action itself wasn’t strange, just that he had been doing it a lot more recently.

There was also his obvious displeasure in how close you were growing to Mingi. You had been texting him and meeting up on a regular basis over the past couple of weeks, and you were really starting to like him. He was a sweet boy with a warm heart, and you wanted to introduce him to Wooyoung properly. However, Wooyoung always seemed to be mysteriously busy when you brought up the idea. It was extremely odd, and you found yourself growing more frustrated each time he brushed you off. You suspected that maybe he was getting jealous.

You planned to confront him about it, and were currently waiting for him to join you for lunch on the quad, but your courage was slowly fading the longer you waited. You checked your watch for the third time in what had to be a minute when he finally sank down on the grass in front of you unannounced.

“Cheese and rice, Wooyoung!” you exclaimed.

“Way to keep it PG, Little Orphan Annie. Didn’t you hear me? I was yelling across the quad for you.”

You hadn’t heard him at all, but you didn’t say that. You were too busy eyeing the boy from head to toe. His hair was dull and hung low over his face, and the care he had displayed in dressing himself over the past few weeks was absent now, as he had donned a pair of baggy sweats and an old hoodie. A large pair of sunglasses obscured half of his face, and what little skin that was still exposed was pallid and dull.

“Wow, you look awful,” you stated, releasing a slow breath. “Are you feeling alright?”

Wooyoung trained what you assumed was an icy glare on you, but the effect was lost behind his sunglasses. “Just peachy, thanks.”

“Are you sick? I might have something in my bag to help,” you offered, already reaching into your backpack to rifle around for some vitamin tablets.

“I’m fine,” Wooyoung stated with a dismissive wave. “I’m just hungover.”

“Wooyoung, it’s Wednesday.”

“Work hard, party harder.”

You scoffed at his statement, but you couldn’t deny that you were worried. Now he was drinking during the week? What was going on with him? Not only were you concerned with the potential alcoholism your best friend may be exhibiting, but you also found yourself backpedaling on your previous plan to confront Wooyoung—you’d get nowhere quickly if he was in a bad mood.

“Here, have a sandwich, it’ll help,” you told him, extending half of your own.

“Pass,” he answered as he wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“At least drink something then!” You pulled an extra water bottle from your bag and tossed it to him, which he caught easily despite how sick he appeared to be. “You gotta rehydrate.”

Wooyoung muttered something under his breath, but uncapped the bottle and took a short swig, before something off to his right caught his attention. He froze at whatever it was, and you couldn’t help but turn to see what he was staring at.

To your surprise, you saw Mingi approaching the two of you with a warm grin. Once you locked eyes, he waved and doubled his pace until he was standing over you. “Hey, Y/N, I thought that was you.”

You blushed slightly and returned his greeting with a shy smile. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Wooyoung give you another unreadable look but you decided to ignore it.

“We were just having some lunch, do you wanna sit down?” you asked.

“Sure, thanks!” Mingi’s smile widened and he sank down immediately, stretching his long limbs out in the grass in front of him. Before he got too comfortable, he leaned forward and extended a hand in Wooyoung’s direction. “You must be Wooyoung. Y/N’s told me a lot about you, I’m Mingi.”

Wooyoung didn’t move to shake Mingi’s hand, only continued to stare him down uncomfortably for several seconds. Before it got too tense, you jumped in.

“Wooyoung’s not feeling well today, sorry,” you explained.

“Yeah, I think I’m allergic to AXE body spray,” Wooyoung commented snidely.

Mingi wasn’t quick enough to catch the slight against him, but you certainly hadn’t missed it. You shot a warning look to your friend, which he acknowledged with a simple quirk of his brow. Well, this was going about as well as you had expected so far.

You decided it was best to ignore Wooyoung’s attitude and began conversing with Mingi as normal, discussing each other’s classes and letting him tell you about his dance practices. Not surprisingly, Mingi was also close to Yunho since they had a lot of classes together and he was able to share stories about Yunho’s antics during practice.

Wooyoung didn’t contribute much more to the conversation besides a few scowls and exasperated breaths. You admired Mingi’s patience, because he didn’t seem to let it get to him, but it was certainly bothering you. Wooyoung’s ploy to regain your full attention was working, because you spent more time glancing over in his direction than paying attention to what Mingi was saying.

“Oh, by the way, we have a dance showcase coming up in a few weeks,” Mingi exclaimed. “You guys should come!”

“Yeah, that sounds great!” You turned back to Wooyoung, who was still attempting to look as disinterested as possible. “Doesn’t it, Wooyoung?”

“Mhmm, yeah, definitely,” he droned, refusing to make eye contact with either of you.

You deflated at his indifference once more. Why was he being so cold? Sure, Wooyoung had always been a little rough around the edges when first meeting people, but he had never been so blatant in his animosity towards anyone before. You knew you would have to address this when Mingi wasn’t present.

Mingi also must have been picking up on the warning signs because he slowly rose to his feet. “Okay, I gotta head to class soon, but I’ll text you later, Y/N?”

You didn’t want Mingi to leave on Wooyoung’s account, but thought it was probably the safest option. Hopefully Wooyoung hadn’t completely scared Mingi away and you would apologize to him properly later. In the meantime, you nodded and bid him a sheepish farewell. Wooyoung twiddled his fingers in a mock farewell gesture once Mingi’s back was turned.

“What’s your damage, Wooyoung?” you seethed quietly when Mingi was out of earshot.

“What’s your damage, Y/N?” Wooyoung mimicked. “That guy’s obviously an unwiped asshole.”

“No he is not!” you argued, feeling your frustration slowly building up to a steady boil. “And you’d realize that if you gave him a chance!”

Wooyoung scoffed and removed his sunglasses to meet your eyes properly. Despite the blinding afternoon sunlight, his pupils were dilated almost completely, making his eyes look as black as night. “Did you fuck him?”

Your mouth dropped open then immediately snapped shut and you crossed your arms over your chest. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

“Oh, don’t get all high and mighty on me now. I’m your best friend, we tell each other everything!”

“Do we?” you challenged, now feeling emboldened by your newfound anger. “Then why don’t you tell me why you were so upset at the party? Or where you went after and why you never answered your phone?”

Wooyoung broke eye contact to shake his head and gnaw at his lower lip. His knee began to bounce absentmindedly with agitation but he remained silent for several seconds. You weren’t happy with this, and pressed further.

“You say you’re my best friend, so why does it bother you so much if I have other friends?”

“So you just want to be friends with Mingi?” he asked pointedly, finally meeting your gaze again.

“Maybe I do! Or maybe I want to be more than friends with him! But you seem to have a problem with it and I don’t know why!”

You were vaguely aware that you were getting lots of funny looks from other students passing by, but you didn’t care—this conversation was long overdue and you weren’t holding back anymore.

“Excuse me for wanting to look out for you,” Wooyoung spat. “The only thing I have a problem with is some douchebag who only cares about getting in your pants. But what do I know, right? I’ll let you decide for yourself, since you have so much experience with guys.”

“And who’s fault is that?! You always drive away anyone I try to get close to! I’m starting to think that maybe it’s because you’re jealous they’ll steal me away from you!”

“Please, you’re not that special, sweetheart. Besides, none of them were gonna waste their time once they realized you’re a stuck-up tease. But by all means, go ahead and spread your legs for the first guy that shows even the slightest interest in you now.”

You were stunned into silence now, the previous flames of your rage quickly getting snuffed out by the blow. Now you were hurt and fighting back tears that were clouding your vision. Through bleary eyes, you watched Wooyoung’s expression shift from an angry scowl to crippling regret. His eyes widened and his lips pursed into a thin line, obviously wishing he could take those words back.

But it was too late—the damage had already been done.

Without another word, you scrambled to gather your belongings and stood up so fast, your head spun from the sudden blood rush. You could hear Wooyoung calling out to you meekly, attempting to apologize but you wouldn’t have it. You were tired of his vile words and horrible attitude, and you wanted to get as far away from him as humanly possible.

Without allowing Wooyoung to have the chance to explain himself, you stormed off, the tears finally spilling out and over your cheeks. As you moved further away from the quad, you could no longer hear Wooyoung calling out for you, and when you risked a glance back to where you had previously been sitting, he was nowhere to be found.

[its-jijii]

bsd girls

im gonna just uh.... warning. i didn’t expect this to be so long but below the cut is 6,745 words of me crying over girls in bsd. be warned, it is probably a long and hellish read lol. (no spoiler warning cause i think everything right now falls in realm of what has been shown in the anime)

okay hi i'm supposed to be editing photos in the car but instead i am going to rant now about how underrated the bsd girls are and why

starting out, the reason that they have so little content and attention is because there are so few female characters. in the armed detective agency the ratio of boys to girls was 8:4 (or 8:2 not counting naomi or haruno)

in the port mafia the ratio was 8:4 (counting elise)

the guild was 7:3

overall in the entire series (not counting gaiden or minor side characters), there are 40 males and 15 females*, which ends up in a ratio of 8:3. 

*counting characters if they showed up in multiple different scenes or had some kind of actual role in the plot

taking this further, the number of girls with an ability are even less. elise is an ability herself, and several girls do not have an ability, such as naomi, haruno, sasaki, aya, and gin. higuchi is unconfirmed to have an ability. teruko and agatha christie have named abilities but unknown details. in the end, that leaves us with a total of ~6 females whose abilities we know of and have played a part in the plot. that is considerably less than all the males in the series, whose abilities we mostly know of- or even if we don't know all of it- the girls are still greatly outnumbered by males present and relevant to the plot. 

now if we are to talk mainly about the girls relevant to the plot, there are so many reasons they should have more attention and recognition. i'm lazy so i'm just going to do them in order of who shows up on the wiki first ️✌️

armed detective agency

yosano is a wonderful character and in my top favorite characters. her personality is based strongly on her real life counterpart, who was an activist and feminist. yosano is a strong female character that has been portrayed correctly in my eyes. she is feminine, yet clearly very tough and assertive in comparison to more submissive characters or female stereotypes. 

she can definitely hold herself in a fight, and has proven to be near invincible due to her strong ability. she doesn't need to rely on it all of the time, which is what makes me like her so much. some characters depend completely on their ability in order to attack, but since yosano's is a healing ability, she is unable to use it to attack. as a result, she is simply a strong and capable character. she is often shown to wield large knives or other sharp objects, and despite her slim body type, she is clearly able to handle heavy weapons with ease and still be agile. many others (males specifically) tend to underestimate her and face the consequences. by either believing she is a weak female, or believing that her ability would be useless in a fight, her enemies end up in trouble when facing her. 

she is the armed detective agency's biggest weapon, with dazai landing in second place. her healing ability allows for any amount of reckless behavior or dangerous fights, because as long as her subjects are still mostly in one piece, she is able to heal them completely as if the injury never occurred in the first place. she even ends up healing her opponents after she beats them- she can bring them to a state of near death and then revive them as many times as she needs to get the information she seeks. she has no problems doing this either, as she is a doctor and is always in the face of injury and death. she knows how her ability operates, so she can stay calm in situations that would cause others to panic or struggle. she is both physically capable and mentally; there is little that can derail her, likely due to her past (vague manga spoilers mention). 

as she already went through the worst of the worst when it comes to having to use her ability, and how she felt about using her ability, she has become strong and overcome her reluctance. she believed her ability to be a curse and that healing others would only bring them unhappiness. when presented with the freedom to choose, to not be forced to use her ability- she became confident and felt okay about using her ability again. as long as her ability wasn't abused like it was in the past, she was able to heal her coworkers without feeling bad about it. in overcoming her fear and unwillingness to use her ability, she became stronger in other aspects too. on top of using her ability in moderation and for good, she stands up for herself and refuses to be dominated or controlled by others. she is a doctor through and through, as she will treat injuries of friends and enemies alike. she is against meaningless death, and believes in equality between men and women.

these are just some examples regarding yosano's strength, which i respect so much. in terms of backstory, she is one of the characters who has shown growth and determination. i won't invalidate the struggles of other characters, but i believe that her progression and character should be more recognized and appreciated. she contributes and helps out more than most people realize. in the series itself, she is a desired ability user because of how useful it is. in the end, yosano chose to align herself with good. she's good to herself, she's good to her coworkers and friends, she's even good to her enemies. and i love her for all of that. 

 next on the list is kyouka. i apologize in advance if this seems a bit scattered; kyouka is not among my top favorites, so i haven't given her a ton of thought beforehand. (aka i am completely winging this)

kyouka as a character deserves better, and while she has shown growth, she has more room for growth still. kyouka was unfortunately pushed into a very sudden and drastic change in her life, and as a result is pretty traumatized and still has to shake off her negative mindset and bad habits. unlikely yosano, she is still very young, and has not had very long to recover from her trauma. she went from living a peaceful and happy life with her parents to being forced into the mafia after watching both of her parents die before her eyes. demon snow, her mother's ability, killed kyouka's mother and then was passed on to kyouka. kyouka could not control her own ability, and was instead forced to become an assassin for the port mafia using her ability. with no control over her ability, and having no desire to kill, it's not surprising that kyouka hated demon snow and the port mafia. upon joining, kyouka was suicidal and begged for akutagawa to kill her. when he refused and instead used her as a tool and treated her like she wasn't human, her view on life changed considerably. she could not view herself as anything more than a killing machine, a mindless and disposable tool for the mafia. upon being treated with kindness, kyouka did not know how to act. she claimed she never left because she had nowhere else to go- other reasons likely included that if she left, she would be considered a traitor and killed, and that she believed that at least in the mafia she had a purpose and use to others, even if it was evil.

kyouka found it necessary to suppress any emotions she had, probably as a coping mechanism for having to commit murder that she didn't really want to commit. she wasn't loyal or invested in the port mafia as a result of her treatment there, so when given the option to leave, she accepted with little resistance. when questioned about things regarding the mafia, she also didn't resist, and ended up willingly offering the information in exchange for food she liked. 

through time spent with atsushi, kyouka has gradually grown from her original thinking and bad actions. in the beginning, she would instinctively use violence or other mafia tactics in order to get what she wanted or to defend herself. atsushi did his best to prevent her from doing that, and since then she has stopped immediately jumping to violence. she still struggles in expression emotions, but as akutagawa also stated, she has improved. she is no longer suicidal or hopeless, and feels like she has more use than just killing. she recognizes herself as a human, and that her worth lies in just her existence instead of what she can accomplish. it's okay if she doesn't use her ability, because the armed detective agency isn't about using abilities or fighting. they solve crimes and sometimes use force, but it is never required. like yosano, she has slowly begun to accept and use her ability. she recognizes that her ability, and herself, are not responsible for the death of her parents or the countless murders she committed. her ability was abused by the mafia, and her ability was given to her by her mother, though she didn't know that at first. after learning that, she has used demon snow in more reasonable situations such as defending herself, causing distractions, and using demon snow to escape situations. she hasn't used demon snow to kill anyone, and the most violent thing she has done is hold someone at knifepoint either with her own knife or with her ability. 

kyouka has grown, though it isn't a sudden extreme change like with dazai and yosano- and she still has some problems she needs to sort out- but she is improving. i tend to not feel for her much because of how little she expresses emotion or opinions, but as soon as she becomes more confident i will appreciate her for more than just being a cute and supportive character. i will always love character growth, and although kyouka hasn't taken big changes regarding emotions, she still has gone far and it deserves recognition. not to mention she is still only 14, but she is doing very well in adjusting to a different life. she didn't deserve any of the bad things that happened to her, so in that i can sympathize. she was not evil by choice like some are, so her decision to completely desert her future in the mafia in exchange for the armed detective agency is wonderful. she is near fearless but protective of those she cares for, and passionate even though it isn't shown well most of the time. 

 port mafia

moving from the armed detective agency to the port mafia, i will begin with higuchi. higuchi is another character i think is considerably misunderstood and underrated. on the surface, yes, she can be seen as obsessive and weird, but she isn't really all of that. i believe that a big part of the hate she gets is due to shipping reasons- she is romantically interested in akutagawa, which can interfere with other ships. as a result, they end up attacking higuchi and pointing out all of the perceived flaws in her relationship with akutagawa.

i do not believe higuchi's behavior to be creepy or bad, actually. to me, she more acts like a teen with a crush. she does not stalk or harass akutagawa, nor has she done anything terrible to him. the hate she gets for crushing on akutagawa is unreasonable to the extreme for me. upon introducing them both, higuchi is shown as being overly eager to assist akutagawa. as she is his direct subordinate and cares about him, it's understandable for her to not want him to be in danger, or simply trying to make his job easier. akutagawa as a person doesn't like help, so he sees higuchi as an annoyance and trouble. he treats her (and kyouka) how he was treated- he's abusive and unnecessarily cruel, though i believe that is also learned behavior from dazai. 

however, despite higuchi's over eagerness to help, she always has the best of intentions. in no way is she trying to inconvenience him or annoy him. she is just doing her job as a mafia member and helping her superior. i cannot understand the faults people find in that. i do not hate people for doing their job, even if their job is evil; it is just what they are required to do, and sometimes you can't fault that. 

her "creepy" tendencies can be narrowed down to stalker-ish and obsessive. it is true that she is interested in akutagawa, but that does not mean that all of her actions are purely from a romantic stance. she cares for him, so it is natural for her to want to protect him. it is understandable for her to be concerned for him- he is not in the best of health, he's reckless, and he refuses help. she wants to avoid him being injured or killed, and not just because she is interested. i believe she also simply respects him as a person, and as her superior. in the mafia, loyalty is a strong tie, and for higuchi, her loyalty isn't 100% rooted in the mafia itself. she is more loyal to akutagawa, but that isn't unusual either. dazai was more loyal to oda, which is why he left for oda's sake. akutagawa is more loyal to dazai than the mafia, so he will respond to dazai's calls and orders. the same can be said for higuchi. 

higuchi may be a bit overprotective, but again, that isn't a bad thing. she saved akutagawa's life when she realized that he was in critical danger and that the mafia would not do anything to save him. she bravely took on the task of raiding the enemies to rescue him while he was incapable of fighting back. she might have died had the black lizard not intervened, but she was willing to risk her life for the person she cared about. she also has implied many times that she does not feel that she is suited for working in the mafia, but she stays anyway because she loves akutagawa. again, that doesn't really pass into obsessive territory. if you are close to someone and love them, of course you would do these things for their sake. of course things with her seem more intense, but that is only because of their job. normally doing something for someone you love is maybe an easy task or errand. in the mafia, it can mean fighting a difficult battle in order to help your loved one(s). this is all circumstantial stuff that feels inadequately thought about. 

regarding her stalker-ish tendencies, i still do not understand where that comes from. the definition of a stalker is "a person who pursues someone obsessively and aggressively to the point of harassment". higuchi does not follow akutagawa around outside of work or harass him. at work, naturally she is with him a lot and doing things for him (it's her job). however, she does not know unnatural things like where he lives or even familial ties. when she passed him on her way home from work, she appeared excited and wondered if she could offer to drive him home. not because she wanted to know where he lived, but simply to do him a favor and potentially increase his feelings for her. she also debated inviting him for tea. to people who think that is weird, i have to think that they have not experienced many normal connections. to coworkers or not very close friends, inviting people out to dinner or for a drink is not uncommon. as it was night, it would make sense for her not to think "i should take him to a cafe" but rather think "i should invite him over for tea". she wanted to drink tea with him, spend time with him, and talk to him. if shops at that time so happened to be closed, it would only make sense to invite them over. i cannot see what is unusual or wrong about that situation. 

when she saw akutagawa meeting with gin, she misunderstood the situation, which again is a forgivable mistake. her thought process was not overly obsessive or weird; at first, she was jealous because she believed gin to be akutagawa's partner. from there, her overprotective side also kicked in- sure, gin could be his girlfriend, but she could also be a spy sent to kill him. not 100% of her malice at gin was because of jealousy, but she was worried for akutagawa too. when she congratulated atsushi on delivering a love letter to gin, it was both out of hope that she would have a chance again, and that akutagawa would be safe if gin was in fact a danger to him. later when she spotted gin, gin was startled and began running. higuchi picked up on her agileness and decided that she was definitely an assassin/danger to akutagawa. she was trying to harm gin, yes, but she did not know it was gin or that she was related to akutagawa. when she later learned that, she was very sweet to gin. she felt no real ill will toward her, but more concern for akutagawa taken a bit too far. i still would not say this is stalker or obsessive tendencies. higuchi is a misunderstood worrywart with a crush. i understand why some people think she is annoying, but at heart she is really just a caring and funny character. she does not deserve the hate she gets, and she also does not get the love and attention she should have. whether or not she "interferes" in your ship, you shouldn't dislike her purely on that and her interest in akutagawa. she is yet another powerful queen and she is trying her best. 

higuchi’s interests aside, she is still a great character. at times she is shown to be unsure of herself or relying on others, but i would say that she is still independent and capable. she does not need others to take care of her; she can handle a weapon fine, and she is brave and selfless in fights. she is not stupid, although her hesitation in some situations can be labeled as that. however, she does not need others approval to make decisions, and she is considered a high rank. i do not know akutagawa’s direct position in the mafia, but if she is serving under him, then she is still above the black lizard. as shown when the squad came to rescue her without her having to order them to, they do have a degree of respect and care for higuchi. she is ranked above them somehow, and that position doesn’t come with ease. they are in the mafia, and i imagine that rising in ranks is difficult. while we don’t know her backstory or how she came into the position she is in now, it should be acknowledged that she did something to get where she is now. 

 kouyou is another one of my favorites. she is a good example of what can be considered a traditional woman while still being powerful and capable on her own. we don't know a ton about her (especially about backstory), but there is plenty of things to appreciate about her. she is loyal, caring, and protective to those she cares for most, notably kyouka and chuuya. kouyou is one of the port mafia’s five executives, and she is another mafia member who worked to get her position. being one of the five executives is second only to the boss of the port mafia. she worked to get into her position, and it is a considerably high rank. mori stated that kouyou is one of the few people strong enough to be able to leave the mafia and live. despite wanting to leave the mafia in the past, she switched her loyalties along the way and now serves the mafia well. 

while golden demon is a strong ability on its own, kouyou is strong in fighting with her own sword. her appearance is deceiving, as she is not portrayed in an overtly threatening way. on the surface, she has no weapons, and her outfit initially gave me the impression that she is the type to refrain from violence or fighting. why would she get blood on her kimono, and how does she fight wearing high heels? (it seems that a lot of female characters fight in heels, which is respectable). however, kouyou is perfectly capable in fighting and defending herself both with her ability and with her own concealed weapon. considering kyouka’s tendencies and style of fighting, she was likely trained as an assassin under kouyou. it can be assumed that kouyou is a good assassin, as she certainly does not appear to be one. 

there is discussion of if kouyou works in a brothel, as her voice actor apparently speaks like one. if this is the case, then it is even more likely that she and her subordinates are trained assassins. there are several things also implying this as her job, which i have no fault with. she is good at what she does if she is one of the five executives. 

while kouyou may be overly negative and cynical, she is not a bad person. in the end, it seems she just wants the best for kyouka. while her idea of what is best is warped, that also cannot be faulted. she is thriving in the mafia, and she directly suffered the consequences of trying to leave. she is trying to prevent the same thing from happening to kyouka. while we can’t necessarily see growth in kouyou due to the lack of scenes with her, it can still be said that she has grown out of her initial plans for kyouka. while she likely still has the same negative mindset, she stopped projecting everything onto kyouka and encouraged kyouka’s freedom and happiness. she recognized that the best for kyouka was not necessarily staying with her, resulting with her letting kyouka go. she grew out of her possessive behavior and bad mindset and changed to do what would help kyouka and make her happy. in the end, she just wants kyouka to be safe and happy, which is a nice motivation considering her aggressive and violent nature toward enemies. 

 elise is going to be a short one due to lack of information and the fact that she is an ability. i do have to say that despite her existence and situation, none of that can really be helped. she is powerful as an ability, and probably is a pretty good cover for a lot of things. she can always be passed off as mori’s daughter, and her young and innocent looks do not give off any impression that she is dangerous or an ability. she has her own personality and opinions, and while they were mostly determined by mori, she is still capable of thinking and acting as she wants. it can’t be said that she is her own person, but she is certainly in charge. so far it does not seem that she is 100% bound to mori’s orders, so she is able to argue and get what she wants. a big portion of why i personally am not a huge fan of elsie is because she is connected to mori. but mori aside, not considering how he acts around her and treats her, i think she’s a good kid. she’s pretty normal considering that she’s an ability, in the mafia, and capable of murdering someone. 

 gin is an absolute darling and i will now tell you why. there is not a ton of canon content of her, so it is understandable that people are not really into her. in the first place, it isn’t clear that she is a girl until a good way through the guild arc. she has no ability, and no definitive backstory or personality. however, that does not mean that she should get so little attention. regarding the mafia, she is very good at her work. she is another assassin, and while her looks can be deceiving, it is also very clear that she is dangerous and deadly. right off the bat she is shown to be sly and fast, and capable of assassinating people very well. being a selective mute, she is very quiet and secretive. not talking means obviously that we cannot deduce her exact thoughts, intentions, and motivations, but based on other things we can guess some things.

to start with, despite her angry exterior, she is a sweet girl. she’s beautiful and considerate, and clearly cares for her brother akutagawa. in the past, she was the one who saved herself and akutagawa from being killed by the mafia. after joining, she rose ranks to be one of the three commanders in the black lizard. outside of work, she is still quiet, but is considerably softer and more expressive than when working. she does not wear a mask to conceal her emotions and reactions, and she is less apprehensive of speaking. she was considerate of katai when he confessed his feelings for her, not treating him in a rude manner at all. 

the thing that stood out to me most about her was how much she thinks about akutagawa. noticing he was stressed about work, in an omake she was shown to have gone around asking other mafia members for things to help him relieve stress. she found problems in each solution offered, and ended up choosing what she thought best. she sat down and had tea with him, which was very sweet and caring of her. she is not always cruel and violent, and her motivations are likely along the lines of her care for her brother and her will to stay alive and in a good position in life. she is not violent for the sake of violence; she is just doing her job and what she is good at. 

(i wrote a different analysis of gin here)

 the guild

to start with discussions of the girls in the guild, lucy maud montgomery is first. she has considerably more content than the others, but that cannot be helped, as she has more screen time than alcott or mitchell. montgomery’s motivations and feelings are pretty open, so i cannot say that she is misunderstood or ignored. she has attention, but i do think that she deserves more (as all the girls do). at least, beyond shipping material, there is more to her character. she has improved since her traumatic past experiences, albeit in a different way than atsushi has. in the beginning, her actions and methods were confusing and not explained. however, she was just another character doing what her job required, and what she required to live happily. to her, she wanted a place to belong, and the guild was that place. when faced with potential loss of her newfound home, naturally she was willing to go to any lengths to stay, including capturing and messing around with the detective agency. montgomery is smart and capable with a strong ability to back her up. her ability, while used for kidnapping, has many other purposes as it later shows. had she initially been on the good side, a lot more people would probably like her. she was purposefully made to look and act intimidating and mean, although that is just a front she puts up. after she can be considered a tsundere, although terms like that annoy me slightly. it is weird to simplify a unique character down to a few shared traits with a stereotype- let’s just say that montgomery is flustered easily and does not know how to deal with her emotions in a positive way. by that i mean that how she acts can be perceived as bad by readers and watchers, though that is not what she is intending to do. i think that montgomery is trying her hardest and while her methods are not the best, she is still a good person who is just trying to get along in life and make close connections to people. 

 margaret mitchell is another character i cannot talk very much about, as she has hardly appeared in the series at all. despite her outwardly narcissistic and snobby personality, i also do not think that she is all bad. her ability, which we have not seen much of, can be decidedly negative. we have not seen a way in which she uses her ability in a positive manner, but as we do know her motivations, i can still say that she is not trying to be a bad person or anything of the sort. her reason for joining the guild and attacking yokohama was to restore her family’s honor. as we know nothing of her backstory, i cannot say why this was so important to her, but it seems to be of noble reasoning at the least. a lot of characters have good intentions or motivation and just a terrible method of execution. mitchell is one of these characters. 

however, even if you were to dislike her purely based on her arrogant and rude attitude, it must be acknowledged that she is not terrible to those on her side. while threatening kajii and akutagawa, she was also shown to be selfless in defending hawthorne using her own body as a shield. now that she is stuck in a coma, hawthorne seems intent on helping and erasing her family’s debt for her, since she is incapable. that implies that she must have some kind of soft and nice side, otherwise i do not think hawthorne would consider her to be his loved one. we only saw her disintegrating his bible and arguing with him. aside from sacrificing herself, she must have done something to earn his affection and loyalty- hawthorne has gone very far in his attempts to save her. 

personally i think the reason a lot of people dislike her is her stuffy attitude combined with her appearance. her complaining of others not working while combined with her wearing an over the top large dress likely contributes to the dislike or indifference i see directed at her. she is very unlikeable on the surface, nor can i say that i like her at this point. 

 and lastly in the guild, i will be talking a lot about louisa alcott. she is the main reason i decided to write this long ass post. alcott is in my opinion, probably the smartest of all of the geniuses in bsd. there are different kinds of smarts, of course, and it is not too hard to sort them. dazai and fyodor lie mainly in tactician. they are wonderful at predicting enemy moves and creating plans. ranpo is also shown to be helpful in that, though his strength lies in solving mysteries and analyzing evidence. dazai is also good at solving mysteries and analyzing. mori is implied to be good at a variety of things- strategizing, logical thinking, effective manipulation, and leading. he is good at making things go his way, and good at doing what is best for his organization, even if that means sacrificing others. in general, there are many intelligent characters, but the “geniuses” tend to be labeled as fyodor, dazai, mori, and ranpo. i have never seen alcott included in that grouping despite her being debatably the best out of all of them. 

it must be noted that alcott’s ability is not the cause of her intelligence. rather, it simply furthers her abilities. i do not think that she would need to rely on her ability to be good at what she does; she is a very thorough tactician, and given extra time, can write out the most ridiculous plans i have seen. it is absurd how much she is able to predict and write about. “Little Women is an ability that allows Louisa to make time pass at 1/8000th of regular speed, but only while thinking alone in a private room.” nowhere does that description list that it furthers her intelligence in some way. from that, we can gather that she indeed can sit in a room for a few minutes or hours, and in real time weeks will pass. she can sit for weeks straight and simply think of and write every possibility. she can list every outcome, every action their enemies might make, all the action plans the guild can go with, and so much more. she can estimate the damage her plans provide, the likelihood of success, and compared to other plans she has written out, whether or not she would recommend it. she is shown to be cautious in her planning, since despite her seemingly ruthless plans, she always directs fitzgerald away from choosing the more dangerous options. that also shows that despite her listing very violent plans, she is against going with them and disagrees with the more violent options she came up with. 

i think it is amazing how much concentration and energy she has. sure, the other geniuses may be able to reason out how their enemies are thinking and doing- but alcott is a different level. she will write packets (multiple!!) of analysis and options. i do not know how much i can stress this. these packets are hundreds of pages, written in a few hours by her. with given information, she can predict up to how other people will react to given situations, and how to manipulate the situation for the best outcome for the guild. she was able to somehow predict the reappearance of kyouka when atsushi was attacked, and how exactly to get away with capturing atsushi while simultaneously eliminating kyouka from doing anything more against the guild. she wrote up to the very specifics how that situation would lay out, and all that fitzgerald needed to do in order to capture atsushi. call the police on them! how did she know the police would be nearby and that atsushi and kyouka would turn to them? hell if i know, but that is amazing as fuck and i don’t think that the others compare in any way to that. 

of course she does have boundaries, such as when chuuya and dazai teamed up against lovecraft and steinbeck in order to retrieve Q. i would say that she could not have planned that given what she knew of their personalities and how they would work together. even if they were past partners, logically it does not seem likely that they would team up, even in a dire situation. but they did, and to top that, chuuya used corruption. that was something that alcott did not plan for, likely due to lack of information she received. otherwise, she was able to take into account so many factors- timing, abilities, personality, and likelihood of events happening- and create functional and effective plans. knowing how Q’s ability works, she thought of a way to cause the most amount of destruction by combining Q and steinbeck’s abilities. personally, i would not have thought of such a method. it is brutal, but it did work out for them. most of the mafia and detective agency were occupied with dealing with Q’s curse rather than pursuing the guild. she had backup plan after backup plan. i believe that they were so detailed and complicated that without an exact copy of all of her writing, dazai and ranpo would not have been able to come up with a plan to counter what she was doing. they are good at guessing what can come next, but attempting to guess all of alcott’s thinking is impossible. to me, she will always surpass the other geniuses in the series, as she is the best of the best considering everything.

if comparing her capabilities to that of others, she covers almost all the bases. in terms of leading, mori is good because he is willing to sacrifice others for the sake of the greater good. alcott made plans that were willing to sacrifice all of yokohama for the benefit of fitzgerald solely. dazai and fyodor are good at guessing how the other will think. i would say that alcott can do the same, though on a much larger scale. given a longer amount of time, the others could likely come up with similar plans, but since they are not alcott, they cannot come up with her predictions that cover almost every base. her ability to slow down time and then sit still for technical weeks at a time thinking of every possibility is amazing. though we have not seen her solve any crimes, i would say that she is still very good at analyzing and using data to her advantage. 

brains and ability aside, i think that alcott is a lovely person. though she has severe social anxiety and is very bad at talking to people, she is very kind and loyal to those she cares about. again, she can be ruthless against her enemies, but who isn’t? when not considering her position as a tactician in the three way organization conflict, she is very good. she wants to do the best she can to help others, and despite her low self esteem, feels confident enough to present her thoughts to those she is comfortable with. unfortunately she only seems comfortable with a small number of people, but she is caring and giving to those few.

i apologize for the long rant on alcott. it feels kind of unorganized and sloppy, but i honestly have no idea how to properly explain my respect and love for this character. she is never talked about or drawn or anything, and she deserves so much more than she gets. once you get past that initial barrier of “she’s too quiet, she’s a pushover, her plans are cruel and violent” you will realize that is not always the case. in reality, when consulted she is able to provide good advice and solutions to problems. she was very against fitzgerald going with her more extreme plans. yes, she thought them up since she thought up every possibility, but she strongly advised against those plans for obvious reasons. 

 the rest of the girls i cannot say much about. aya seems very sweet and justice oriented, and i think i would prefer to see her as an actual character rather than the odd lovechild of dazai and chuuya. chuuya did not even really show up in the manga in that scene…… anyway, i do not know enough about teruko and agatha to talk about them properly. teruko seems overly violent, but i do believe that she is just doing her job, again in a kind of bad way. unfortunately, i do not know anything of gaiden, so i cannot properly discuss tsujimura. however, i have heard that she is a sweet girl, and i would like to read more about her. 

 in conclusion, i don’t feel that the girls in bungou stray dogs are properly appreciated for what they are. sometimes they are misunderstood, sometimes they are ignored, but no matter the case, i think that all the girls in bsd are wonderful. slimy men? yeah fyodor, dazai, and mori. slimy women? there are none. they’re all perfect. they have their faults of course but really, none of them are incredibly evil or anything. for the most part we know their intentions, unlike some of the guys i listed. and often times those intentions are not bad at all, even if they are executed in a bad way. they tend to not rely completely on their ability, unlike a lot of the males in the series. dazai, akutagawa, and atsushi are all good examples of characters who rely heavily on their abilities to do things. in contrast, most of the girls don't rely on their abilities or other people. their abilities help them, of course, but they are plenty capable on their own. some of them don’t even have abilities- higuchi and gin being prime examples- but they are able to fight and be independent. 

please give the girls in bungou stray dogs more care and attention. they are so fucking valid and i love them from the bottom of my heart

also!! i forgot to say but please reblog, dm, comment, whatever the fuck unpopular bsd opinions. i love a good rant™ and i have a lot of thoughts

[kemetic-dreams]

The Essence of African Traditional Religion by Paulinus Ikechukwu OdozorFebruary 21, 2019

One scholar who has written extensively on African Traditional Religion is John Mbiti, a Kenyan whom many consider the dean of living African theologians. An important preoccupation of Mbiti’s work has been to show that knowledge of God and the worship of God have been staples of African life from the earliest times on the continent. In other words, he shows that the sense of the divine was not something introduced to Africa by missionaries or by anyone else; that the knowledge of God in African religion was not much different from the idea of God that Christian missionaries preached in Africa; and, more specifically to our purpose here, that belief in God engendered a moral response that for centuries before Christian arrival in Africa directed moral life and interaction on the continent and among its peoples. According to Mbiti, Africans came to believe in God by reflecting on their experience and through observation of the created universe. Specifically, by reflecting on the wonder and magnitude of the universe, they came to the conclusion that God must exist: they posited the existence of God to explain the existence and sustenance of the universe. Rooted in the belief in God as the Creator, Africans believe in various dimensions of the created universe, such as visible and invisible (the spiritual realm), heavenly (skyward) and earthly (and in some ethnic groups there is a belief in the underworld). Commonly, God is believed to dwell in the skies. In most cases, the earth is conceived as a living thing, a goddess, “Mother Earth.” According to Mbiti, the earth is symbolically viewed as the mother of the universe, while the heavens/sky are seen as its male counterpart. While the universe has a beginning, many Africans believe that it does not have an end—either spatially or temporally.

The ordering of the universe and its continuance depends on God. Mbiti emphasizes that Africans view the universe religiously. Since God is seen as the Creator, various aspects of the universe are permeated by the sense of the sacred—the religious mentality affects the way people see the universe. Therefore, the universe has dimensions of order and power as follows: first of all, there is order in the laws of nature. This order, established by God, guides the functioning of the universe, preventing it from falling into chaos; and it ensures the continuance of life and the universe itself. Thus, everything is not completely unpredictable and chaotic because of this order. This is the function of God’s providence and sustenance of the universe. These laws are controlled by God directly or indirectly through God’s intermediaries. Secondly, there is moral and religious order. According to Mbiti, Africans believe that God has ordained a moral order for humans, through which they came to understand what is good and what is evil, so that they might live in harmony with one another and safeguard the life of the people. This order, according to Mbiti, is knowable to humans, by nature.

Thus, it is because of the existence of this order that different communities have worked out a code of conduct. This happened in the past, and these codes were stipulated, considered sacred and binding, by the community leaders:

Moral order helps men to work out and know among themselves what is good and what is evil, right and wrong, truthful and false, and beautiful and ugly, and what people’s rights and duties are. Each society is able to formulate its values because there is moral order in the universe. These values deal with relationships among people, and between people and God and other spiritual beings; and man’s relationship with the world of nature.

Mbiti further adds,

The morals and the institutions of the society are thought to have been given by God, or to be sanctioned ultimately by him. Therefore, any breach of such morals is an offense against the departed members of the family, and against God or the spirits, even if it is the people themselves who may suffer from such a breach and who may take action to punish the offender.

The moral and religious order in the universe is articulated and expressed in a variety of taboos and customs that prohibit specific actions contravening such order. Taboos and customs cover all aspects of human life: words, foods, dress, relations among people, marriage, burial, work, and so forth:

Breaking a taboo entails a punishment in the form of social ostracism, misfortune and even death. If people do not punish the offender, then the invisible world will punish him. This view arises from the belief in the religious order of the universe, in which God and other invisible beings are thought to be actively engaged in the world of men.

A part of this belief in the moral and religious order is belief in the invisible universe, which consists of divinities, spirits, and the ancestors (the living dead). These act as God’s associates, assistants, and mediators, and they are directly involved in human affairs. Human beings maintain active and real relationships with the spiritual world, especially with the living dead, through offerings, sacrifices, and prayers. These act as a link between God and the human community.

There is also a mystical order of the universe. Africans believe in the existence of a mystical, invisible, hidden, spiritual power in the universe. This power originates from God but is possessed hierarchically by divinities, spirits, and the living dead, and it is available to some people, in various degrees. This is a universal belief among Africans. Those to whom this power is accessible can use it for good, such as healing, rainmaking, or divination, while others can use it for harm, through magic, witchcraft, and sorcery. This power is not accessible to everyone, and in most cases it is inborn, but the person has to learn how to use it. Mbiti says that:

Access to this power is hierarchical in the sense that God has most and absolute control over it; the spirits and the living dead have portions of it; and some human beings know how to tap, manipulate and use some of it. Each community experiences this force or power as useful and therefore acceptable, neutral or harmful and therefore evil.

According to Mbiti, human beings have a privileged position in the universe. Everything is said to center on them. Human beings are the link between the heavens and the earth, between the visible and the invisible universe. This view influences the way humans relate to the universe: on the one hand, they strive to maintain harmony between themselves and the invisible universe by observing the moral and religious order; at the same time, humans see the universe in a utilitarian way, from the point of view of what is beneficial or harmful to them.

Some of the ideas from Mbiti’s works are pertinent to our discussion here: Africans believe in a hierarchy of beings, from the ultimate being, God, to lesser ones, divinities, spirits, the living dead, human beings, animals, plants, and inanimate beings. Mystical power is found in all of them, in diminishing degrees. This hierarchy is also evident in human society, where there are chiefs, clan heads, family heads, older siblings, and so on. Second, Africans believe in a moral order given by God, stipulated by the ancestors in the past. Observing this moral order ensures harmony and peace within the community. “Many laws, customs, set forms of behavior, regulations, rules, observances and taboos, constituting the moral code and ethics of a given community, are held sacred, and are believed to have been instituted by God.” Furthermore, a person acts in ways that are good when he or she conforms to the customs and regulations of the community, or bad when he or she does not.

Mbiti makes a very controversial point when he claims that in African societies there are no acts that would be considered wrong in themselves. Acts are wrong if they hurt or damage relationships or if they are discovered to constitute “a breach of custom or regulation.” To buttress his point Mbiti states that in certain African societies “to sleep with someone else’s wife is not considered ‘evil’ if these two are not found out by the society which forbids it, and in other societies is in fact an expression of friendship and hospitality to let a guest spend the night with one’s wife or daughter or sister.” Mbiti’s assertions must be read as a limited reference to some African societies and in some limited settings. As I have discussed elsewhere in Morality Truly Christian, Truly African, for example, some African societies are so conscious of the implications of crossing the line on some ethical matters, like adultery, incest, and murder, that anyone who engages in these acts is considered automatically to be putting the very survival of the community in danger. Thus, to assert as Mbiti does that there are “no secret sins” or that “something or someone is ‘bad’ or ‘good’” only according to “outward conduct” is too careless a statement to make. With regard to the issue of offering one’s wife in generosity, this practice, as Laurenti Magesa has shown, applied to a very limited number of African ethnic groups, such as the Masai, and in very tightly controlled situations among friends within the same age group fraternity and on very limited occasions. This practice, no matter how limited it is, again shows how untenable the blanket assertion is that African moral traditions are those of abundant life. No matter how one looks at it, to “offer” the female members of one’s family as a mark of “hospitality” to a stranger is morally wrong, not just from the point of view of Christian morality but from a purely natural law point of view as well. Inculturation, as we will argue later in Morality Truly Christian, Truly African, sheds the light of the gospel on cultural practices like this one to reveal what is sinful in them and to show that human beings, especially women, in this case, deserve better treatment than this.

Ronald M. Green of Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, a non-African scholar of African religion, has also written about African Traditional Religion and about religion and morality in Africa. He has useful insights to add to our discussion and in many ways corroborates the statements other scholars like Mbiti have made about African religion. Green points out that there is a rational basis to African Traditional Religion that shows, in Kantian terms, that there is a “deep structure of universal moral and religious reason to it.” The three requirements of reason at the heart of this structure are: “first, a basic rule or procedure of moral choice; second, a metaphysic grounding the possibility of strict moral retribution; and third, . . . ‘a trans-moral’ suspension of retribution in the face of self-confessed and inescapable human wrongdoing.” Green notes a similarity between this “deep structure” and that which has developed in Christian theology over centuries of effort at “grounding human moral striving in the face of the experiential difficulties that assault moral idealism.” In this Christian theological system, the idea of God as creator and sovereign expresses the moral requirements of impartial regard for all. As judge, God is understood to uphold this standard by ultimately punishing its violations and by rewarding the righteous (usually in some eschatological domain). In the face of persistent human iniquity, God is believed to furnish means of atonement and forgiveness, “thereby tempering justice with mercy.”

However, although Christianity and African Traditional Religion share some striking similarities, closer examination of African traditional beliefs reveals that the contrasts are far more striking than the similarities. An important area Green points to has to do with the role of God in these two systems of thought. He contends that although African Traditional Religion generally refers to God as creator and sustainer of the universe, morally good, omniscient, and caring toward humans, “yet even where this is held to be true, the high god in Africa is very often regarded as distanced from human affairs.” And even when he is considered benign, “the high God is morally otiose, having little direct retributive relationship with humankind.” In some situations, the high God is cast in unfavorable terms as one who creates and who kills. However, in African religious thought God is distanced from the task of moral affairs because the task of moral retribution and maintenance of effective moral norms is usually performed by spiritual agents of much lower standing—that is, “by spirits of various sorts, by ghosts and even by human practitioners of spiritual arts.” Other characteristics that show the contrast between (Western) Christian thought and African Traditional Religion, according to Green, are the nonexistence of concepts of heaven and hell in African Traditional Religion, the lack of messianic expectations and hope, and the absence of eschatological thought with God “stepping in to right all wrongs or to punish wickedness.” And although African Traditional Religion affirms the continuation of life after death, where the person is believed to join the spirit world of the ancestors to continue life in some ways similar to the life before death, this belief does not constitute a hope for improved existence or for ultimate reward and punishment since a person’s moral depravity or moral rectitude “[does] not count in the beyond and whatever penalties or rewards those may bring have no bearing on life after death.”

Mbiti makes this point too when he stresses that “the majority of African peoples believe that God punishes in this life.” Although God is concerned with humanity’s moral life and upholds the moral law, “there is no belief that a person is punished in the hereafter” for his or her wrongdoing in this life. “When punishment comes, it comes in the present life.” Whatever the difference in the deep structures that undergird the moral life in the Christian conception or in Africa Traditional Religion, Green, like Mbiti, concludes that Africans believe in a morally saturated universe:

Theirs is a world in which all really significant interpersonal relationships, including important relationships between humans and spiritual beings, have moral content and are governed by moral considerations. If it is approached at the right level, African traditional religion can be seen to be powerfully shaped by moral concerns.

The role of intermediary agents and spirits in maintaining moral order in African Traditional Religion is quite remarkable, as we have already seen from the work of Mbiti. These intermediary agents include the ancestors, members of the community who at death become idealized. “Devoid of essential personal characteristics they represent the essence of what might be called structural personality. Their significance lies in the genealogical positions and the rights and duties which derive from them.” Ancestors uphold right conduct by punishing moral violations, demanding respect and attention, and getting angry when not given due respect. Belief in the ancestors presents the idea of reciprocity in the African traditional moral world. Dependence here functions like a two-way street, with the dead needing continued respect from and support by the living, and the living needing at least benign neutrality on the part of the dead.

Green opines that although superficially regarded, this may seem to be a minimal moral relationship—more like a kind of egoism on one side and fearful propitiation on the other—it also shows, however, the profound role that respect for age and for the fulfillment of lineage and familial duties play in this traditional setting. Other spirits with a significant role in maintaining the African traditional moral world include ancestors and lineage spirits “who operate in specific social contexts where their will is expressed through misfortunes,” and some other spirits “who do not act directly but who rely on human agents to effect their will.” These spirits underlie the power of spirit mediums who, as mediators between space and the human world and by virtue of the moral authority this confers, are able to arbitrate between living human beings. The spirit medium is required to possess moral probity and integrity. “The Spirit medium is in many ways a subordinate agency within the layer of retributive order.” The voice and action of the spirit medium “connect the community with these moral and spiritual entities who help shape human destiny. The spiritual medium is the physical embodiment of the religious retributive order in which Africans know themselves to stand.”

The final aspect of this deep structure of moral reason in African Traditional Religion Green refers to as “morally intentional” trans-moral “safety valves” such as are found in the doctrine of grace or atonement in Weston religions (Christianity) or of liberation from the world of moral causation in Eastern religions. In short, the question is whether the notion of “mercy” exists in the moral order of African Traditional Religion and whether the sacrifices of African religion amount to an expiatory understanding in African religious thought. Furthermore, the issue is whether a strict order of retribution cannot be tolerated if human ambition gets in the way of realizing enduring moral virtue and well-being. At stake here is nothing less than the question of human culpability and ultimate redemption, which has to do with the traditional Christian topic of sin and grace. We will return to these issues later in Morality Truly Christian, Truly African, but for now it is enough to ask whether the similarities in the deep structure between the two religions are indeed as similar as Green suggests. By Green’s own admission, and as we shall see later, there are as many divergences on the architectonic hinge of these deep structures—God, the human person, and the material world—as there are similarities. These differences, I will argue, have significant impact not just on the way people conceive of the moral world or with regard to moral intentions, but also on moral practices.

A third scholar of interest to us here is Laurenti Magesa, the central thesis of whose book on African religion is captured quite succinctly in the subtitle: African religion constitutes a tradition of abundant life. Like Ronald Green, Magesa argues that African Traditional Religion is in the background of all African religiosity, both in Christianity and Islam, and supplies the basic attitude or worldview of most African Christians. So, basically, to speak of African tradition is to talk about African Traditional Religion. To understand African tradition, one needs to understand the position of African Traditional Religion on God, the human person, and creation. Magesa discusses the African tradition in its various manifestations: its understanding of the human person and of life in general; aesthetics, politics, ethics, and of course religion, which he shows to be the architectonic basis of these other expressions or manifestations of African tradition. Like Mbiti and Green, Magesa notes that the world of African Traditional Religion is a hierarchically ordered place where,

God is seen as the Great ancestor, the first Founder and the Progenitor, the Giver of Life behind everything that exists. God is the first Initiator of a people’s way of Life, its tradition. However, the ancestors, the revered dead human progenitors of the clan or tribe, both remote and recent, are the custodians of this tradition. They are its immediate reason for existence and they are its ultimate purpose.

On the lowest rung of the ladder are spirits, who are active beings distinct from humans and reside in nature and phenomena such as trees, rivers, rocks, or lakes. God, the ancestors, and the spirits are all moral powers whose actions affect human life in various ways and to various degrees. They are thus “moral agents.” It is the ancestors, however, the custodians of tradition, who determine the way these agents act, and it is tradition that “supplies the moral code and indicates what the people must do to live ethically.” African traditions carry out their role as ethical guides in many ways, including myths and rituals. Some of these myths explain the origin of the universe, the nature of the relationship between creation (including humanity) and God, and the source and cause of the human predicament and of evil in general; they also provide “a synopsis of the forces comprising the African moral conception of the universe.” Religious rituals provide a means by which the community seeks redress and repairs wrongs that have been committed and that call down calamities and afflictions from spiritual beings—all this to restore the status quo ante or even “to maintain the existing good status quo that society or an individual may be enjoying.”

In the hierarchically ordered world of African Traditional Religion, God is the ancestor, par excellence. All life, power, and existence flow from God, and by “right of their primogeniture and proximity to God by death God has granted the ancestors a qualitatively more powerful life force over their descendants.” Who constitutes the world of the ancestors? These are “the pristine” men and women, the originators of the lineage or clan or ethnic group. They can also be “the dead of the tribe, following the order of primogeniture. They form a chain through the links of which the forces of the elders [now with the community] exercise their vitalizing influence on the living generation.” For Magesa, the ancestors are primarily authority figures whose being implies “moral activity” in that they are the maintainers and enforcers of “norms of social action.” Although they are entrusted with these roles in their relationship with humans, “any capriciousness of the ancestors is not taken kindly by the living, just as it would not be acceptable from any elder in society.” The ancestors are beyond reproach. “People may complain to God and the ancestors, but they will never accuse them of any moral wrongdoing. Moral culpability is always on the shoulders of humanity.” The same hierarchy evident in the relationship between God, the ancestors, and humanity is also present in the relationship between the animate and the inanimate world, the former being superior to the latter. It is also present in relationships between persons, based on age and function. Thus, for example, older persons not only possess a more powerful vital force but a greater responsibility in society and more intense mystical powers. African religion’s behavior is centered mainly on the human person and his or her life in this world, “with the consequence that religion is clearly functional, or a means to serve people to acquire earthly goods (life, health, fecundity, wealth, power and the like) and to maintain social cohesion and order.”

This should make it clear why some African intellectuals would question the relevance of Christianity on the continent. African Traditional Religion appears to be a self-sufficient system, both from a theological point of view, in that it provides answers to questions of ultimate reality and meaning, at least to its adherents; and from the point of view of morality, in that it provides the moral rules, norms, and instruction in virtues by which human beings can live upright moral lives. The vibrancy of African Traditional Religion in these two aspects—theological and moral—creates a unique opportunity for Christianity in Africa, one that, as Bediako points out has been lost to Christian theology in the West, “for a serious and creative theological encounter between the Christian and primal traditions.” It is therefore very important for African theology to ascertain the meaning of African Traditional Religion, both because of the service this tradition renders to Christian theology as “a dialogue partner,” and because the very self-awareness of the African theologian and of African theology itself to a large extent hinges on a proper articulation and appreciation of Africa’s pre-Christian past.

Editorial Statement: This essay is a slightly modified excerpt from the section "Evaluating African Traditional Religion: The Descriptive Task" (98-107) in Fr. Odozor's Morality Truly Christian, Truly African published by the University of Notre Dame Press. All rights reserved.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 116: Gem Heist

“We won’t stand out if we play the roles we were made for.”

There’s nothing like a good heist. You’d think a plot with such a consistent formula (build a team, go over a plan, execute the plan and adapt to its inevitable failures) would get stale, but consider for a moment that Inception and Fast Five premiered within a year of each other, and are both heists following the same general beats, but they’re fully different experiences. I’m not gonna say which one is better, but only one of them has a car chase where a car is chained to a giant safe and uses it like a wrecking ball, so.

In some ways, Gem Heist drops the ball on what I want from a heist: there’s barely a planning stage, and the team is already together, so it’s all about the execution and the wrenches thrown at our heroes. But while it’s hardly the caper I hoped for from the title, I can’t help but admire how it takes the tropes associated with heists and uses them to comment on Gem society.

A heist is all about specialists with clear jobs. Safecrackers, getaway drivers, demolitions experts, con artists, the whole point is getting a bunch of talented people who are each essential to the group. This element is only briefly touched upon in the traditional sense in Gem Heist, with Steven referring to Pearl as “our hacker,” but in its place, our heroes must succeed by putting themselves into the very roles they escaped by becoming Crystal Gems. Sapphire is a wise advisor and Ruby a disposable bodyguard, and the two must be separated. Amethyst must be huge. Pearl must be lowly servant. And Steven, who can’t exactly take the leadership position of his Gem parent, must play the dumb human.

This conceit drives the episode and makes it unexpectedly solid in terms of characterization, given how bland its plot ends up being. This is basically an episode about walking through a hallway, and instead of a third act we just get two minutes transitioning Steven to the Zoo that could’ve been spent in our next episode (or heavily cut). Even Adventures in Light Distortion feels more meaningful from a sheer plotting standpoint, and that was literally just getting the Crystal Gems from Point A to B. But because of how fascinating the characters are to watch when forced into the positions they’d be stuck in had they not rebelled, I’m able to enjoy what would otherwise be a slog of an episode.

The surprise lead of Gem Heist is Sapphire, who takes charge of the situation right away and finally shines on her own. Ruby got a head start in Jailbreak in terms of screentime, and takes up more room when the two are together thanks to her louder personality, and has a whole squad of counterparts to define herself against, so I love seeing a focus on Garnet’s quiet half. 

Sapphire’s serene baseline is portrayed so well by Erica Luttrell that she’s often played comically straight (her casually agreeing to call Steven “Esteban” is a great example here), but we already know from Keystone Motel that she’s more than just her calmness. It’s great to see her lose her cool so early in the episode, putting up a confident front while planning but getting frazzled with its inevitable failure before the team even disembarks. I wouldn’t quite call her a ham in the way Ruby and Peridot can be, but her overacting while narrating her activities to warn her friends of danger is wonderful. And of course, she gifts us with the universe’s cutest wink.

Charlyne Yi always brings a lot to the table as Ruby, and while she’s had more to do than Luttrell after Hit the Diamond, this is the first time since then that she’s voiced our Ruby. The line of the night is her furious declaration that Blue Diamond “hates fusion and love?”—it’s such a horrible thought that Ruby treats it like a question rather than a statement, because how hating something as good as love even possible? Still, Ruby’s bigger highlight is all in the animation as she runs up a locked door, claws at it while screaming, and admits defeat when this doesn’t immediately work.

Pearl also benefits from the visuals, which portray her humiliations in ways Deedee Magno Hall can’t in the moment due to her needing to be quiet. Which isn’t to say Magno Hall doesn’t do a lot with what she’s given, going from embarrassed and deferential around Holly Blue Agate to pissed off while alone with the Crystal Gems. And while Amethyst is the first Crystal Gem to go, Michaela Dietz picks up the baton from Yi and Magno Hall to play other amethysts; it’s neat to hear her turn down the playfulness for gruffness without completely removing the prankster edge from her voice. And what we do see from Amethyst is a reasonable amount of nervousness around a first encounter with her peers, which pays off wonderfully in That Will Be All (as does the actual sentence “That will be all” that Pearl will soon get the chance to redirect).

Steven is surprisingly low-key here, all things considered, but I suppose with all the focus he gets in the first two episodes of this arc, as well as our next one, it makes sense to look more deeply at the Gems; after all, they’re the ones who were born into an oppressive class structure that they must temporarily return to (give or take an Amethyst, but she still has plenty of issues stemming from societal expectations). He’s got some decent jokes, and dominates the last part of the episode when separated from the Gems, but the last part of the episode is so boring that I don’t really care. 

Still, none of these characters would have the chance to shine without Holly Blue Agate, who comes in hot and seems physically incapable of chilling the hell out. Christine Pedi voices Holly in just two episodes of the original series, but boy does she know how to leave a mark. After seeing Homeworld loyalists from the bottom of the totem pole in Peridot and the rubies, a Homeworld loyalist who’s a known hero in Jasper, and two leaders of Homeworld in Yellow and Blue Diamond, we encounter perhaps the worst kind of zealot: middle management.

Holly Blue Agate is the Dolores Umbridge of Steven Universe. She’s not given the stage to become main villain material, but she sure knows how to be the most detestable kind of miniboss we could hope for. She’s a shameless sycophant whose worship of Gems she considers superior is matched only by her disdain for those she sees as beneath her, but because she actually has some authority, she’s able to be far more tyrannical than the likes of Peridot. She’s hardcore lawful evil on the classic alignment chart, but if we allow for variation to the classics, I’d consider her more petty evil than anything.

With one character, we personify the entire toxic class structure that the Crystal Gems were born to defy. And with every word, Holly Blue proves that our heroes were correct to abandon this caste system. She’s flippant in her physical abuse, and wears her bigotry as a point of pride, taking glee in enforcing the inferiority of every Gem around her but Sapphire, who earns the same kind of swooning she applies to Blue Diamond. This is all performed under the thin disguise of politeness, because again, this is Umbridge we’re dealing with. She yells that there’s no yelling allowed, then gets mad when an amethyst corrects herself by being too quiet. She either pretends to not understand human speech or genuinely doesn’t get that Steven is talking (I could get into a whole thing about the necessity of an unrealistic translator for the Gems, but first off they’re magic so unrealistic things are fine, and second off what’s clearly more important here is Holly’s attitude).

It’s almost a shame we don’t get more of Holly Blue, because she may be loathsome, but she’s the compelling kind of loathsome that makes an excellent villain. Aquamarine is similar in feigned sweetness and cruelty, but Holly lacks that Cartman-inspired awareness of how miserable she is, which makes her less extreme and more relatable to real-life monsters in our daily lives who are blind to their own awfulness. At least she gets one more episode to be horrible and receive some decent comeuppance for her behavior in Gem Heist.

As I’ve said, the actual story here is pretty dull. We get some hints at lore, as it’s now pretty clear that the Era 2 referred to by Peridot was separated from Era 1 by the death of Pink Diamond. We get further indirect characterization of Blue Diamond with Holly Blue Agate’s praise and Ruby and Sapphire’s scorn. And the final sequence, while feeling tacked on, at least gets some neat usage out of what looks like the same tech as Peridot’s gone-but-not-forgotten robofingers. But if not for the stark reminder of why the Crystal Gems’ ability to decide their lives is important, this would be one of the least consequential episodes of the series. Plenty of episodes have great characterization, this is Steven Universe after all, but most of those also bring more to the table.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Second episode since Gem Harvest to feature the Floridoverse as the main promo, and while it’s a little unclear whether this is another Floridoverse promo where a new adult character is portrayed as a teacher (Holly’s uniform vaguely resembles Greg’s and Ruby’s) I’m gonna go ahead and hope the intent is for her to be a student because man, that vibe on a peer is in some ways even worse than on a superior.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Lousy plotting really knocks this one down, considering how great an actual heist could’ve been, but the character work barely scrapes this from an episode I don’t care about to one I enjoy. It straddles the line between Like ‘em and Enh, but I’ll be nice this time.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist (barely!)

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[painted-starlight]

The Art of the Background Cast, How they can Make or Break an Animated Film

Warning: This is a Long Post, it’s anti-Frozen, has swearing, also I’m not very nice <3333

And no, I’m not insinuating that 3d films can’t make good background characters that contribute to good world building. There are some that do background characters excellently and some traditional animated films that do it poorly. 

I’m just saying that in terms of background characters, Frozen sunk like a hot potato and I’m going to roast it.

Alright, let’s go!  

Preface

I got a response for my Disney Princess post from someone who said that all background characters in Disney films are “window dressing” and that it was ridiculous for me to criticize Frozen for having lifeless background characters. 

Let me just say, that this is complete bullshit. 

Background characters can make or break an animated film. And although they might have a few lines here or there and their screen time is brief, they are vital to animated movies, regardless of whether or not it’s traditional or 3d.

Let’s take a look at an example of a good background/supporting cast. 

Beauty and the Beast

Traditionally animated films had to create unique and colorful background/supporting characters that were hand drawn. The challenges between an animated film that is 3d and 2d are different, but they have the same goal. 

Build your world. Make the conflicts seem reasonable. Have them make sense considering the society that your characters exist in. Have them be memorable. 

Background/Supporting characters in animation are essential to worldbuilding. They not only provide the everyday social structure of the setting, but they also provide an important visual cue for audiences. 

Let’s take Beauty and the Beast. The townspeople provide a pivital element to the story because just by looking at them and the way they interact with Belle, you get so much information about how she is viewed, what is valued in their society, and visually it sets up the main conflict. 

Visually, their colors contrast with Belle’s. She is in cold blue, while they have a mixture of reds, warm greens, and for the bimbettes, pastel colors that are still in the reds, yellows, and green. 

The town itself is full of warm reds, signifying that Belle is out of place with her color scheme. She not only stands out, but she is an outcast. 

What the Background Characters Actions Convey

They all represent what Belle doesn’t want in her life, though she has become accustomed to it in her own way. This is a typical morning, and nothing is new. 

We are shown that the town is obsessed with physical beauty and they are judgmental. Not only that, but even they can’t abide by their own standards as they try to attain beauty on the outside, not the inside.

A man and woman talk behind Belle’s back. The woman is bald, and she accidentally removes her wig. The man informs the woman, and thus the audience, that Belle is “strange.”

A married man flirts with a young woman. He visibly ogles her in front of his wife. Men in this town treat women as objects, so Gaston’s later behavior isn’t out of place. 

A woman is left to tend to all of her numerous children and is incredibly distressed. A foreshadowing of Belle and Gaston’s conflict. If she were to lose, this would be Belle’s future. 

These exchanges are vital to the development of the plot. They show the main conflict, the world which rewards people like Gaston and hinders Belle. Though I feel that her main motivation is very vague, the visuals and scene direction in regards to the main conflict are well done. 

Bad Example of Supporting/Background Cast:

Frozen

I know, I know. I hate T*angled and it’s background cast is also shit, but I’ve already covered that in a previous post. And besides, Frozen is has just...a terrible background /supporting cast. They’re awful, just...awful. They just exist to be there.

Now, the challenge with 3d animated films is that they exist in a three dimensional space. They require more character models to fill out scenes, and reusing them and making small changes to them for variation is a very common practice. This happens in traditional animation too, though on a smaller scale in tv animation (where they will reuse character designs and make small adjustments to them for the sake of filling out crowds). 

But with feature length animated films, these background characters still have an important obligation to the audience, and their existence is identical to their traditional animated counterparts. To worldbuild. 

So you’d think that this would be a great opportunity to show what the characters value, the main conflict, and other information that is required for the audience to gain a better understanding of the world. 

Unfortunately, not in Frozen’s case. Their background characters just exist to be...there. 

The citizens of Arendelle have few lines, and they are all of praise for the queen and princess to be. They are shown to be ultimately supportive of their royalty. 

The citizens and palace servants go about their day. There is no juicy gossip, no discontent. The servants in the palace just glide right by Anna and don’t even lightly chastise her for making a fool of herself and wrecking shit. She ignores them and they ignore her ultimately because they are interchangable. 

It would’ve been very interesting to see their reaction to the secrecy of Elsa’s powers. To have to clean up her wrecked room, to have to keep quiet about her, but we don’t really see that. They don’t have human reactions to stimulus. 

They don’t feel like real people, they are idealized citizens, and idealized servants who just do whatever they’re told. So they have a life destroying, crop killing, wildlife obliterating winter and they act like it’s just an average Tuesday. 

Ok.

I was really surprised that the Duke of Weasleton was the only one freaking out in this situation. He just straight up calls her a witch in front of everyone and no one vocally REACTS with anything. AT ALL. They just stand around look a tad shocked. 

Like, how many times a day does someone in this town get called a witch? And royalty at that? Come on, the citizens have to have SOMETHING to say about it. But they’re eerily calm.

They didn’t know how long this shit would last and who knows how much food they would have left.

One of the first lines was about the queens coronation. With a child bemoaning attending while another citizen praises the beauty of princess Anna.

This is more of a setup to a joke, and feels like they were concentrating on the setup rather than delivering information to the audience. 

It is apparent that the expectations of the citizens adds to the conflict of the story by showing the amount of pressure Elsa is under, but this has no meaningful weight/payoff since we don’t really get their reactions to her ice powers other than, “Oh shit! Better keep my baby outta the way.”

No one other than Weasleton calls her a witch. No one lights up pitchforks, no one in the palace has to explain what has happened and why Elsa was hidden. These characters ultimately feel passive to their situation.

No one feels betrayed that Elsa is hiding a secret ice power. They have a winter caused by her powers, but no one seems to really...care? i mean, they argue over a log...I guess??

I would talk about Oaken, but he doesn’t seem to really add anything to the worldbuilding. Like everyone else, he just seems to be there to deliver a joke, and show how Kristoff is mean/intimidating. He’s also where Anna gets her new clothes.

It’s fine if that’s his purpose, but combined with a weak supporting/background character cast, he feels a little unnecessary and more of an excuse to get Anna and Kristoff together on their journey. 

[tragicbeauty1991]

In Defense of Disney's Captain Hook: A Not Wholly Unheroic Figure

With the recent popularity of ABC's hit show Once Upon a Time, the classic view of fairytale villains as irredeemable bad guys has been turned on its head, and while some of our favorite baddies like Cruella and Dr. Facilier remain fairly true to their original Disney counterparts in appearance and personality on the show, others have gotten such a complete makeover that they are hardly recognizable as the same character they are supposed to portray. Among those given the latter treatment is fan favorite Killian Jones, a.k.a. Captain Hook. In a day and age when Jack Sparrow is the first fictional pirate who comes to mind, it's no surprise that the show's creators decided to embrace the guy-liner and black leather-wearing sexy bad boy approach to the character, but while this creative choice has had the effect of garnering fans' attention, it has also had the unfortunate effect of turning the original character into something of a joke. While Killian is viewed as a well-developed sympathetic character with the potential for redemption, Disney's original version of the character tends to be seen as little more than a straightforward comical villain with little or no real depth. As a fan of the original Disney version of the character, however, I'd like to argue that from the very beginning, Disney's Hook was always intended to be a complex, likable villain and continues to be portrayed as such in modern Disney media. My argument is as follows:

Hook's original creators, including author J.M. Barrie, producer Walt Disney, and voice actor Hans Conried loved the character.

The original author of Peter Pan, James Matthew Barrie—who significantly gave his own first name to the pirate captain—is quick to remind the audience that despite his flaws, Hook “was not wholly evil; he loved flowers...and sweet music (he was himself no mean performer on the harpsichord)....” When Walt Disney decided to approach the character, he quickly realized that a villain with such a soft side would appeal to the viewers and instructed the animators to alter the original ending of the story, having Hook chased off by the crocodile but still clearly alive because “the audience will get to liking Hook and they won't want to see him killed.” Hans Conried, who served as both the voice-actor and the live-action reference model for Hook's character design, also had a fondness for him, stating that “He's a much maligned character. If you read the lines with any sensibility at all, you must have an animus against Peter Pan who could fly, and took outrageous advantage of this one-armed man. Hook was a gentleman. Pan was not. His behavior was very bad form.”

His motivation as a villain departs from the standard and immediately sets him up as a sympathetic character.

Whereas many of the traditional Disney villains are motivated by greed, envy, the desire for power, or revenge for a petty slight, Hook departs significantly from the norm in that his motivation stems from severe physical (and arguably psychological) trauma suffered at the hands of the supposed hero. While we are never told the exact circumstances under which the hand loss occurred, Hook has a legitimate reason to hate Peter Pan that runs much deeper than mere jealousy or megalomania. In fact, in his opening scene with Mr. Smee, Hook concedes that even such a crippling injury alone would not have warranted his hatred; rather, it is the fact that Peter gave the hand to the crocodile, causing him to live in a constant state of fear (and the boy's tendency to exploit that fear), that pushed him over the edge.

He has a multifaceted, well-developed personality which humanizes him for the audience.

In various interviews animator Frank Thomas has discussed the disparity between the personality storyman Ed Penner and director Gerry Geronimi envisioned for the character and the resulting difficulty he had in designing the version of Captain Hook that we see in the finished film. One viewed him as a foppish dandy of a fellow while the other envisioned a much darker, more frightening man who readily used the hook as a weapon against his enemies. This difficulty was further complicated by the fact that action-scene animator Woolie Reitherman—who was responsible for drawing Hook's interactions with the crocodile—wanted to bring a level of comedy to the character which somewhat clashed with his depiction in more serious scenes. The final result was a villain unlike any other Disney had created at the time—a villain who was by turns both fearsome and fragile, dangerous and debonair. Many of Disney's earliest films focused more on the new art of animation than the art of developing well-rounded characters, resulting in very black and white idealized heroes and villains. With Hook, Disney crossed a line into the morally gray territory, resulting in a sympathetic yet sinister character whose moments of weakness would endear him to audiences while his wickedness simultaneously appalled them.

His physical and emotional issues are highly relatable.

Ironically, despite the obvious mention of the prosthetic in his name, we tend to forget that Hook is technically disabled (by our “hero” no less!)...and that physical disability comes with a host of other issues, some of which are trauma-related. In addition to the crippling anxiety we see displayed on-screen, other Disney media indicate that he also suffers from high blood pressure (Kingdom Hearts manga), depression (365 Bedtime Stories), and low self-esteem (Jake and the Neverland Pirates). These are very real everyday issues that we can all relate to on some level either through personal experience or through someone we know.

The dynamic he has with Mr. Smee is unique among Disney villains and sidekicks.

Disney sidekicks—while often providing exceptional comic relief for the audience—are not always necessary for the hero/villain to stand on their own. Many early villain sidekicks, in particular, are given very little personality and some (Diablo in Sleeping Beauty and Gideon in Pinocchio, for example) don't even have any lines. While the sidekick to the primary villain often relies on his/her master as the brains of the operation, the primary villain usually has little need for their companionship. They are expendable resources whom the villain could easily replace or do away with altogether. Hook and Smee's relationship is different in that neither character could properly function alone; Smee relies on Hook for leadership and direction while Hook heavily depends on Smee for emotional support. Further, Smee—unlike many villain sidekicks—seems to genuinely care about his captain's well-being, and Hook recognizes and appreciates this, if only subconsciously. Despite being frequently irritated by his sidekick's apparent incompetence, Hook—a man who doesn't hesitate to shoot his own crewman for singing badly—never legitimately threatens Smee, resorting to raising a fist or giving a smack with the blunt side of his hook to show his frustration rather than taking a swipe at him with the more dangerous side of the claw. The crew, too, recognize Smee's privileged ability to speak his mind plainly to the captain without fear of serious repercussions, showing obvious disdain for him. One character is rarely ever seen without the other, and for good reason—neither one is capable of standing alone, their on-screen chemistry likely a result of the fact that animators Frank Thomas (Hook) and Ollie Johnston (Smee) were real-life best friends.

In the more lighthearted Jake and the Neverland Pirates series for Disney Junior, the characters' relationship is further expanded into actual camaraderie, and the two pirates play off each other extremely well in what voice-actor Corey Burton (current Hook) has described fondly as a “vaudeville comedy routine,” crediting the success of their dynamic in the show to his own friendship with fellow voice-actor Jeff Bennett, who performs as Smee, the relationship of the men behind the characters once again bleeding over into their fictional personas with the best possible results.

He occasionally displays qualities typical of a Disney hero.

While Barrie notes in his book that Hook is a “not wholly unheroic figure,” Disney's original film did little to show this side of the character. However, subsequent portrayals of the captain in various media indicate that this villain has the potential for moral growth. For example, in a deleted song from Return to Neverland, one of the pirates mentions Hook taking him in when he was a child. Another example of such benevolent behavior occurs in Epic Mickey: Castle of Illusion; at the end of the game when the illusion is broken and characters are saying their farewells to Mickey, Hook actually apologizes for his behavior while he was out of sorts, suggesting that although he is quite willing to fight anyone actively siding with Peter, he generally has no qualms with other Disney heroes and is capable of being civil and even polite to them. Additionally, in the Kingdom Hearts manga, Hook actually saves Peter (admittedly because he wants to have the pleasure of taking out Peter himself, but it's something, at least). Furthermore, in the preschool series Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Hook occasionally partners up with the main characters and in most instances, though he's a bit of a bully, ends up doing the right thing when hard-pressed to make a serious decision so long as Peter isn't around. In the episode The Legion of Pirate Villains, he even proudly proclaims to the main cast's common foe, “I am no mere villain. I am a villainous hero!” This concept of Hook as a sort of anti-hero was even hinted at in a line-up of character products known as the Disney Adventurers franchise sold at the Disney Store between 1999 and 2004. This franchise, originally intended to be the more masculine counterpart of the Disney Princess line, featured Hook as the ONLY villain apparently fighting alongside heroes including Tarzan, Aladdin, Hercules, and—astonishingly—Peter Pan.

TL; DR – Captain Hook is a highly complex, relatable character who deserves his place among the most iconic Disney villains. Walt and others who were critical to the development of his character loved him, and you should too.

[ionecoffman]

83 Things That Blew Our Minds in 2018

Most “Himalayan” pink salt is from the Punjab area of Pakistan, not the actual Himalayas.

Hippos poop so much that sometimes all the fish die.

In addition to the supermassive black hole at its center, the Milky Way galaxy may be home to thousands of smaller black holes, invisible to even our finest scientific instruments.

There’s a parasitic fungus that doses cicadas with the hallucinogen found in shrooms before making their butts fall off.

The Arctic Ocean is now so warm that its floating sea ice can melt even during the coldest, darkest times of the year.

You can make thousands of dollars a week charging electric scooters.

When your eyes look right, your eardrums bulge to the left, and vice versa. And the eardrums move 10 milliseconds before the eyes do.

More than 2 million years ago, well before Homo sapiens evolved, one of our ancient-human relatives lived in what is now China.

Women who have had six to 10 sexual partners in their lives have the lowest odds of marital happiness, according to one study.

When Chicago’s Shedd Aquarium opened in 1930, the inland aquarium had to ship a million gallons of ocean water by train from Key West, Florida.

Twitter is the preferred social network for nudists to meet and connect online.

The population of older adults who misuse opioids is projected to double from 2004 to 2020.

The data economy didn’t begin with Google or Facebook in the 2000s, but with electronic information systems called a relational databases, first conceived of in 1969.

At their most voracious, wildfires can grow 100 feet high and consume a football field of forest every second.

People with autism are 10 times as likely to die by suicide as those in the general population.

The number of exclamation points now necessary to convey genuine enthusiasm online is, according to most internet users, three.

An “ice tsunami” killed a herd of musk oxen in February 2011 and kept their bodies perfectly entombed for seven years.

Ten thousand years ago, the people who lived in Europe had dark skin and blue eyes.

Facebook sent huge volumes of data about you and your friends to millions of apps from 2007 to 2014, and you have no way to control—or even know—how that information gets used.

A fishing cat is a water-loving cat species that lives in swamps, quacks like a duck, and dives from riverbanks to snag unsuspecting fish.

Astrology is experiencing a resurgence among Millennials, fueled by meme culture, stress, and a desire for subjectivity in an increasingly quantified world.

In the beginning of 2018, Amazon had 342 fulfillment centers, Prime hubs, and sortation centers in the United States, up from 18 in 2007.

Ivy League universities took nude photos of incoming freshman students for decades.

Some fundamentalist Christian groups think the spread of implantable technology is a key sign of the impending apocalypse.

The shopping mall put a cap on consumerism as much as it promoted it.

Bees stop buzzing during total solar eclipses.

The scientist who advised the production team of Interstellar made so much progress on his research in the process that it led him to publish multiple scientific papers.

High fibrinogen content can help a blood clot stay in a shape like putty—even if it gets violently coughed up.

Many butterflies in the nymphalid group can hear with their wings.

Some scientists think the reason you want to squeeze or nibble on a particularly cute baby is to snap your brain out of the euphoria that cuteness can summon, making you able to tend to the baby’s needs.

In the fourth quarter of last year, 25 percent of all new office space leased or built in the United States was taken by Amazon.

The first scooter was invented in 1990 by a guy who really wanted a bratwurst.

The streets of Boston carry an average of four gas leaks a mile.

In August, Oxford University’s Said Business School came up with a clever way for homeless people to receive cashless donations: Donors could scan the barcodes on homeless people’s lanyards to send them money.

Don’t worry if you forget all the facts you read in this article by tomorrow—that’s normal.

Many doctors have difficulty accessing the health records of patients treated previously at another facility; less than half of hospitals integrate electronic patient data from outside their system.

The original indigenous American dogs are completely gone, and their closest living relative isn’t even a dog—it’s a contagious global cancer.

Donald Trump can’t really send a message directly to your phone. In fact, the president’s ability to address the nation directly in a time of crisis, available since the 1960s, has never been used.

In 1995, a man in Germany realized his pet crayfish was cloning itself. Clones of that crayfish have now spread all over the world.

Four hundred years after Galileo discovered Jupiter’s largest moons, astronomers are still discovering some tiny ones.

The fastest someone has ever hiked all 2,189 miles of the Appalachian Trail is 41 days, seven hours, and 39 minutes. That averages out to roughly two marathons a day.

The lifespan of a meme has shrunk from several months in 2012 to just a few days in 2018.

Elon Musk’s $20 million SEC fine might make his ill-advised “funding secured” tweets the most expensive ever.

Thousands of horseshoe crabs are bled every year to create a miraculous medical product that keeps humans alive.

Single-celled microorganisms can survive in lab conditions that simulate the icy environment of Saturn’s moon Enceladus.

Only 10 major hurricanes have ever made landfall along the Southeast Atlantic coast, if you don’t count Florida.

Animals that live in cities are sometimes found to outperform their rural counterparts on intelligence tests.

Jupiter’s famous Great Red Spot is shrinking.

The paleontology consultant for Jurassic Park had a Tyrannosaurus rex eat a doppelgänger of another researcher with whom he had academic beef.

Some people think tennis balls are green while others think they’re yellow, and the disagreement has a lot to do with how our brains perceive color.

Conservatives tend to find life more meaningful than liberals do.

It’s easier for spacecraft to leave the solar system than to reach the sun. Thanks, physics.

Despite giving away hundreds of millions of dollars to charity, the Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen was worth $20 billion when he died, 48 percent more than when he signed the Giving Pledge in 2010 and promised to give away at least half his wealth.

China consumes 28 percent of the world’s meat—with the average resident eating 140 pounds a year.

Europa, a moon of Jupiter, may be covered in 50-foot-tall blades of ice.

You can reconstruct a pretty decent record of historical whaling intensity by measuring the stress hormones in the earwax of a few dozen whales.

Doing a good deed—or even imagining doing a good deed—can boost an athlete’s endurance by reinforcing his or her sense of agency in the world.

A science adviser on Stargate: Atlantis imagined a fictional astronomical phenomenon called a binary pulsar system for the show. Years later, such a system was found in real life.

The lowercase g in Google’s original logo is really, really weird.

Sixty percent of gun deaths in 2017 were suicides.

From 1984 to 2015, the area of forest in the American West that burned in wildfires was double what it would have been without climate change.

An astrologer came up with the phrase “super blue blood moon” to describe a celestial event that’s much less scary than it sounds.

The Cambridge Analytica scandal caused 42 percent of Facebook users to change their behavior on the platform, according to a survey conducted by The Atlantic. Ten percent of those people deleted or deactivated their accounts.

In the absence of federal regulation or good research about how skin-care products work, communities of citizen scientists have started compiling pretty decent resources.

The figure-eight trajectory flown by the Apollo moon missions was the very same path followed by fictional astronauts in a classic silent film from 1929, Woman in the Moon.

After one year in America, just 8 percent of immigrants are obese, but among those who have lived in the U.S. for 15 years, the obesity rate is 19 percent.

There’s a spider that makes milk.

Goats love to feast on weeds, and you can rent dozens of them to landscape your lawn.

Some people have a bony growth on the back of their heel, called a pump bump, that makes it hard to wear pumps and other kinds of dressy shoes.

Astronomers can still detect ripples in the Milky Way caused by a close encounter with another galaxy hundreds of millions of years ago.

China built its rocket-launch facilities deep inland to protect them during the Cold War, but decades later it actually makes launching rockets into space more dangerous.

The folks who make Piaggio scooters hope you might buy an R2D2-like cargo robot to haul a case of Aperol home from the market.

Shifting the pitch of an audio recording can make it sound like an entirely different word.

Kids under the age of 8 spend 65 percent of their online time on YouTube.

A reservoir of liquid water may lurk just a mile beneath the ice-covered surface of Mars’s south pole.

When people overdose in public bathrooms, many service workers become the unwitting first line of medical responders.

Some people think that quantum computing will bring about the end of free will.

Mouse urine is a major cause of asthma for poor kids in Baltimore.

The House of Representatives’ longest-serving member, Alaska’s Don Young, was first elected to his seat after his opponent died.

In September, Hurricane Florence dropped about 18 trillion gallons of rain over the Carolinas—enough water to completely refill the Chesapeake Bay.

Europe suffered its worst carbon dioxide shortage in decades (think of the beer and the crumpets!) because of a closed ammonia fertilizer plant. Yes, these two things are related.

Americans spent $240 billion on jewelry, watches, books, luggage, and communication equipment such as telephones in 2017, twice as much as they spent in 2002, even though the population grew just 13 percent during that time.

People get more colds in winter because chilly temperatures make it easier for microbes to reproduce inside your nose.

Article source here:The Atlantic