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My finger hurts but uh. Refs for the l4d au wolf pack guys. Tw; Body horror, scopophobia, blood/gore, and vomit.
#showbizz pizza place#showbiz pizza#l4d#l4d au#the wolf pack 5#wolf pack 5#wp5#wolf man#dingo starr#beach bear#lil queenie#mini mozzarella#l4d smoker#common infected.#l4d boomer#l4d witch#l4d spitter
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The danger is clear and present: COVID isn’t merely a respiratory illness; it’s a multi-dimensional threat impacting brain function, attacking almost all of the body’s organs, producing elevated risks of all kinds, and weakening our ability to fight off other diseases. Reinfections are thought to produce cumulative risks, and Long COVID is on the rise. Unfortunately, Long COVID is now being considered a long-term chronic illness — something many people will never fully recover from. Dr. Phillip Alvelda, a former program manager in DARPA’s Biological Technologies Office that pioneered the synthetic biology industry and the development of mRNA vaccine technology, is the founder of Medio Labs, a COVID diagnostic testing company. He has stepped forward as a strong critic of government COVID management, accusing health agencies of inadequacy and even deception. Alvelda is pushing for accountability and immediate action to tackle Long COVID and fend off future pandemics with stronger public health strategies. Contrary to public belief, he warns, COVID is not like the flu. New variants evolve much faster, making annual shots inadequate. He believes that if things continue as they are, with new COVID variants emerging and reinfections happening rapidly, the majority of Americans may eventually grapple with some form of Long COVID. Let’s repeat that: At the current rate of infection, most Americans may get Long COVID.
[...]
LP: A recent JAMA study found that US adults with Long COVID are more prone to depression and anxiety – and they’re struggling to afford treatment. Given the virus’s impact on the brain, I guess the link to mental health issues isn’t surprising. PA: There are all kinds of weird things going on that could be related to COVID’s cognitive effects. I’ll give you an example. We’ve noticed since the start of the pandemic that accidents are increasing. A report published by TRIP, a transportation research nonprofit, found that traffic fatalities in California increased by 22% from 2019 to 2022. They also found the likelihood of being killed in a traffic crash increased by 28% over that period. Other data, like studies from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, came to similar conclusions, reporting that traffic fatalities hit a 16-year high across the country in 2021. The TRIP report also looked at traffic fatalities on a national level and found that traffic fatalities increased by 19%. LP: What role might COVID play? PA: Research points to the various ways COVID attacks the brain. Some people who have been infected have suffered motor control damage, and that could be a factor in car crashes. News is beginning to emerge about other ways COVID impacts driving. For example, in Ireland, a driver’s COVID-related brain fog was linked to a crash that killed an elderly couple. Damage from COVID could be affecting people who are flying our planes, too. We’ve had pilots that had to quit because they couldn’t control the airplanes anymore. We know that medical events among U.S. military pilots were shown to have risen over 1,700% from 2019 to 2022, which the Pentagon attributes to the virus.
[...]
LP: You’ve criticized the track record of the CDC and the WHO – particularly their stubborn denial that COVID is airborne. PA: They knew the dangers of airborne transmission but refused to admit it for too long. They were warned repeatedly by scientists who studied aerosols. They instituted protections for themselves and for their kids against airborne transmission, but they didn’t tell the rest of us to do that.
[...]
LP: How would you grade Biden on how he’s handled the pandemic? PA: I’d give him an F. In some ways, he fails worse than Trump because more people have actually died from COVID on his watch than on Trump’s, though blame has to be shared with Republican governors and legislators who picked ideological fights opposing things like responsible masking, testing, vaccination, and ventilation improvements for partisan reasons. Biden’s administration has continued to promote the false idea that the vaccine is all that is needed, perpetuating the notion that the pandemic is over and you don’t need to do anything about it. Biden stopped the funding for surveillance and he stopped the funding for renewing vaccine advancement research. Trump allowed 400,000 people to die unnecessarily. The Biden administration policies have allowed more than 800,000 to 900,000 and counting.
[...]
LP: The situation with bird flu is certainly getting more concerning with the CDC confirming that a third person in the U.S. has tested positive after being exposed to infected cows. PA: Unfortunately, we’re repeating many of the same mistakes because we now know that the bird flu has made the jump to several species. The most important one now, of course, is the dairy cows. The dairy farmers have been refusing to let the government come in and inspect and test the cows. A team from Ohio State tested milk from a supermarket and found that 50% of the milk they tested was positive for bird flu viral particles.
[...]
PA: There’s a serious risk now in allowing the virus to freely evolve within the cow population. Each cow acts as a breeding ground for countless genetic mutations, potentially leading to strains capable of jumping to other species. If any of those countless genetic experiments within each cow prove successful in developing a strain transmissible to humans, we could face another pandemic – only this one could have a 58% death rate. Did you see the movie “Contagion?” It was remarkably accurate in its apocalyptic nature. And that virus only had a 20% death rate. If the bird flu makes the jump to human-to-human transition with even half of its current lethality, that would be disastrous.
#sars cov 2#covid 19#h5n1#bird flu#articles#long covid is def a global issue not just for those in the us and most countries aren't doing much better#regardless of how much lower the mortality rate for h5n1 may or may not become if/when it becomes transmissible between humans#having bird flu infect a population the majority of whose immune system has been decimated by sars2#to the point where the average person seems to have a hard time fighting off the common cold etc...#(see the stats of whooping cough/pertussis and how they're off the CHARTS this yr in the uk and aus compared to previous yrs?#in qld average no of cases was 242 over prev 4 yrs - there have been /3783/ diagnosed as of june 9 this yr and that's just in one state.#there's a severe shortage of meds for kids in aus bc of the demand and some parents visit +10 pharmacies w/o any luck)#well.#let's just say that i miss the days when ph orgs etc adhered to the precautionary principle and were criticised for 'overreacting'#bc nothing overly terrible happened in the end (often thanks to their so-called 'overreaction')#now to simply acknowledge the reality of an obviously worsening situation is to be accused of 'fearmongering'#🤷♂️#also putting long covid and bird flu aside for a sec:#one of the wildest things that everyone seems to overlook that conor browne and others on twt have been saying for yrs#is that the effects of the covid pandemic extend far beyond the direct impacts of being infected by the virus itself#we know sars2 rips apart immune system+attacks organs. that in effect makes one more susceptible to other viruses/bacterial infections etc#that in turn creates increased demand for healthcare services for all kinds of carers and medications#modern medicine and technology allows us to provide often effective and necessary treatment for all kinds of ailments#but what if there's not enough to go around? what happens when the demand is so high that it can't be provided fast enough -- or at all?#(that's assuming you can even afford it)#what happens when doctors and nurses and other healthcare workers keep quitting due to burnout from increased patients and/or illness#because they themselves do not live in a separate reality and are not any more sheltered from the effects of constant infection/reinfection#of sars2 and increased susceptibility to other illnesses/diseases than the rest of the world?#this is the 'new normal' that's being cultivated (the effects of which are already blatantly obvious if you're paying attention)#and importantly: it. doesn't. have. to. be. this. way.
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been feeling uncharacteristically angry and bitter and like i want everyone in the world to be struck down by a plague of locusts for these past few days and turns out it was because i'm sick. i thought i was just a little hater but those were Symptoms.
#🐉#like why did a mild sinus infection make me evil#sorry for anything i said while i was under the influence of the cursed amulet (common cold)
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In Everything But Blood
Alright, I finished the giant paper I had to write (40 pages jesus christ) and then grad school kind of kicked my ass for a while BUT I AM HERE, back from a months long hiatus to finally write the claudia henderson thing I wrote weeks ago. Enjoy, there will be more but this was so long and I only got to like halfway through it but I wanted to post this.
TW!!!! Seriously TW, graphic descriptions of gore and injuries, medical talk, THIS IS NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE GRAPHIC ON PURPOSE
~~~~~~~~~~
Steve wasn't fully aware of how he was still moving but he wasn't going to question it as he sprints into the hospital behind Nancy and Robin, Eddie draped over his back and getting blood everywhere, Dustin limping as fast as he could behind them. He would probably be panicking more if he couldn't feel the little puffs of air Eddie was breathing out every few seconds against his neck.
The nurses all turn to the doors when Nancy slams them open and while there are already plenty of people who look worse for wear in the waiting room, no one looks quite like the group that just walked in. They're all covered in dirt and ash and sweat and lake water and blood blood bloodbloodblood-
Okay, maybe Steve is starting to panic a little.
Nancy yells for help when no one immediately moves and the gun she's holding definitely helps encourage any nurses and doctors to get over any issues they have treating Eddie.
Robin has to pry Steve's hands off of Eddie's pants. He didn't want to let him go, too scared that he would die and Steve wouldn't be there to help. She manages to gently guide him away from the doors they took Eddie through and she sits him down in a chair before sitting next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder.
"He'll be okay, Stevie. We got him here, he's okay."
Steve knows that she's only saying it to help calm him down, and probably to calm herself down too, but he appreciates it all the same.
As they sit there Steve feels the adrenaline starting to fade and he gets a very stark reminder of how his sides are stinging and every breath makes his shirt rub against the scrapes on his back and arms. If he hadn't been in a state of panic already, worried about Eddie and Max and Lucas and Erica and-
He takes a deep breath and leans into Robin's weight at his side. He can't get help yet, not until he knows everyone else is okay.
(If he were feeling braver he might also admit that he's been a little scared of doctors since Scoops, but he's not feeling very brave at the moment.)
A little while later Steve sees Lucas and Erica and forces himself to stand, hurrying over to check on them, to find out where Max is. He instantly knows that something went wrong when Erica slams into him and holds on tight. He only gets more concerned when Lucas leans in to hold onto Erica and Steve at the same time. And then the pit gets bigger when he feels tears hit his shirt.
"Lucas, hey, you're alright. Hey, look at me- hey. What happened? Where's Max?" Steve stares at Lucas's face as he speaks, trying to get an idea of how he's feeling.
Lucas takes a shuddering breath in before he answers, "She-she-.. it was going fine and then... Jason-Jason fuckin'- he crushed her Walkman and I couldn't-she was floating and Jason had-had a gun and I-She was-was dead, for a minute, and then she-she just started breathing again and I dont-"
Steve pulls Lucas closer again, a hand on the back of his neck to give him support as he spoke quietly. "Okay, alright, you did good. She's here, right? She'll be okay. She's gonna be okay." Steve stayed there with them for who knows how long, only separating when he heard a familiar voice gasp from the door.
"Oh thank god, Erica, Lucas!"
Both of them turned to see their mom in the waiting room and ran at her, where she met them in a crushing hug. As Sue held her children close she looked up, tears falling and made eye contact with Steve. Steve saw her mouth 'Thank you' to him and it made his stomach fall to his feet. Sue had always adored Steve for protecting her kids, first from Billy and then in the "fire" at the mall. But this time, Steve was the reason they got hurt. He let them go off on their own and they got hurt.
He nods and walks back over to Robin and Dustin where they're sitting, suddenly remembering his injuries again as he moves away from the Sinclairs. He has to force himself to walk normally just to make it to the chair, only to nearly collapse back into it.
~~~~
"Alright, time to go, Dust. Now that your foot's been treated I really need to get you home. Claudia is going to start calling morgues if I don't," Steve grunts out as he helps heave Dustin out of his seat and get settled on his crutches. Robin stands once Dustin is steady and she follows them out of the hospital and climbs into the passenger of Steve's car. (Nancy had left once Eddie was taken to stash the RV somewhere and she came back with his beemer. Steve isn't going to ask.)
The ride to Dustin's house is quiet, Steve can tell each of them is silently asking anything out there that the Henderson house was spared. Thankfully when they pulled into the driveway the house was in one piece and only seconds after parking Claudia is yanking open the front door and running out to meet them at the car.
She runs up to Dustin who had managed to stand up using the car as support and they both cling to each other in tears. Steve watches them for a moment before he has to look away or he'll start crying. He spaces out for a bit, just holding Robin's hand when he get startled by the harsh knocks on his window. Looking up, he locks eyes with Claudia and he can't quite read her expression but he can hear her say, "Get your butt out of that car, Steve, I need to look at you. You too, Robbie."
He and Robin make eye contact for a split second before hurrying to comply. As soon as Steve is standing fully he finds himself being yanked down into a hug, Claudia's arms wrapped around his shoulders.
Steve has to take a deep, shaky breath and blink very quickly to stop any tears. He loves Claudia's hugs, they feel like birthdays and Christmas and being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket with hot chocolate all at once. When he hears her mumbling about how glad she is that he's okay, well, maybe he cries a little.
After he and Robin are both fully looked at by Claudia and then each given at least 3 hugs, they climb back into his car and pull away form the Hendersons.
"Am I taking you home or are you coming with me?" Steve glances over at Robin as he says it. He knows the answer without he responding, just because her face pinches in the way it does when she's afraid of making Steve sad.
"I know last time we went to yours but I just... I need to see my parents. I'm so sorry-"
"Robs, it's okay to want to check on your parents. I'm not upset. Can you just.. keep your walkie on our channel tonight?" Steve glances at her again, getting hit with another Robin look that says she can see right through him.
"Always, Stevie. I am sorry though, I hate the idea of you in that house alone."
"I'll be okay, Robbie. I'm just gonna sleep as soon as I get home anyways."
Robin stares at him for a moment longer and then nods, grabbing one of his hands to hold in hers for the last half of the drive. She only lets it go to give him a tight squeeze before hurrying out of the car to her front door.
Steve waits until she's safely inside before he pulls away and goes to his own house.
The moment he shuts the door behind himself it feels like all of the energy in his body has been drained away. He can barely keep himself standing, only the pain that shoots down his spin when he leans back onto the door keeps him upright.
He forces himself to trudge upstairs and goes right to the bathroom. He starts with getting the clothes off, deciding to just cut them off so he doesn't have to lift his arms.
Then comes the cleaning. He first tries to shower but he can only handle standing with pressured water pelting his back and soap stinging his feet for a minute at the most. When he gives up on the shower he figures he should at least try to clean the bites.
One second he's standing in front of the mirror and reaching to pull off the fabric, the next his whole body is covered in sweat and he's sitting on his ass on the tile floor. His hands are shaking at he wants to vomit from the pain.
No changing the bandage then.
Steve forces himself to at least wash his face and hands with a washcloth before he collapses directly into bed and falling asleep in seconds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Claudia is worried. She had already been a little concerned when Steve showed up two days earlier for lunch with a flushed face and too pale skin. She watched him and he didn't act any different but she kept note of it so that she could watch him. But then, when they were supposed to have lunch at 12 and Steve still hadn't shown up or even called by 1, well, Claudia was concerned. Steve always insisted on being on time, claiming it came from all the sports he had done (but she had heard him mumble about his parents harassing him about being late before when he had a head injury, so she just nodded along to his excuses). Being an hour late was entirely out of character and something in her gut, the same feeling she had experienced multiple times over the past few years about her Dusty, told her that she needed to go see him, and soon.
Dustin was thankfully not at home, spending the afternoon with the Wheelers, so she didn't have to tell him what was happening before she got into her car and drove to Steve's house.
What greeted her when she parked only made her more nervous. Steve, she had noticed, had strange habits relating to many things. He had to sit close enough to touch the person next to him, he tried to hide it but he never kept alcohol in the house anymore, he kept the curtains closed facing the backyard, and he always, always leaves the porch light on.
But that afternoon in early April, the porch light was off.
Claudia parked quickly and hurried to the front door, not even bothering with knocking. Instead she pulled out the key Steve had made for her and Dusty after the previous summer and let herself in.
The dread that had been growing in her gut only intensified when she entered the house and a very familiar smell hit her nose.
Body odor, sweat and salt and morning breath.
Bodily fluids, urine and vomit. And blood.
Infection, sickly sweet rot mixing with something like ammonia.
Time seemed to freeze as Claudia ran up the stairs, calling Steve's name all the while. She knew those smells, she had dealt with them at work too many times to not know them, and to smell them in relation to Steve made her blood run cold. She needed to see him, this boy who cared for her Dusty so much, this boy who had wormed his way into her heart, this boy who was her son.
Rushing into Steve's room she was greeted by her worst fears. Steve was lying on his bed, the sheets clearly kicked off and tangled around his ankles. He was only wearing his boxers and they had clearly not been changed in a few days, stained with his sweat and urine. His skin was covered in sweat, his chest and cheeks were bright red and the rest of his skin was a waxy yellow. He was shirtless, vomit covering his chin and chest and staining the pillow and sheets below him. He had what looked like scraps of a sweater or shirt wrapped loosely around his stomach. It was filthy, saturated with sweat, blood, dirt and pus. The smell in the room was much stronger than by the front door, her eyes watering briefly before she forced herself to focus. She was a nurse, she could handle this.
Claudia moved to the bed and gently kneeled onto the mattress. As she moved closer she could hear Steve mumbling to himself but it was so quiet and so slurred that nothing was legible. Claudia placed a hand on his forehead and jerked back in shock at how hot his skin was. Glancing around frantically for anything to help she saw the phone at his bedside table and grabbed it, punching in 911 before cradling the receiver between her ear and shoulder as she continued to check over Steve.
The next moments all passed in a blur for Claudia as she explained who she was and where she was to the dispatcher before they hung up and she waited for the ambulance to arrive. The ride to the hospital passed in what seemed like a blink of an eye and suddenly Claudia found herself in the empty waiting room at Hawkins General and she became aware of two equally important facts.
Her sweater and hands were saturated with Steve's sweat and blood.
She needed to call Robin.
The blood would have to wait, because she knew that Robin would want to be there for Steve so she managed to wipe her hand with some tissues before dialing the Buckley's house.
"Buckley residence, this is Robin," Robin's voice came through the receiver and Claudia let out a loud sigh.
"Robbie, honey, thank goodness you're home. I have some bad news. I'm at the hospital right now sweetie, it's about Steve." Claudia paused after she finished speaking, waiting to see what Robin would say. Unfortunately for Claudia, rather than saying anything, she had to listen to a gut wrenching gasp and sob from Robin, so she chose to keep talking. "I went to his house and found him in his room. I think he had been hurt and it got infected. If your parents are home, I think you should come here, he would want you here."
Robin mumbled a few okays, clearly through tears before she hung up. In the silence after Claudia had no choice but to go clean herself up, allowing herself a minute to collapse onto a toilet seat and cry. Her boy was hurt and she couldn't help him, he was so hurt he didn't even know she was there and she didn't know what to do.
Robin arrived about 10 minutes after they ended their call with a surprise in tow.
Jim Hopper, thinner and without a mustache, but somehow alive and marching into the hospital like he was going into hell. Knowing about his daughter, he probably felt like he was in hell.
Robin spotted Claudia first and ran over to her, arms open and Claudia pulled her right into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth the way Steve always loves. Robin held back just as tight and cried into her shoulder while Claudia whispered to her, "He'll be okay, he's going to be okay."
Jim didn't say anything, just nodded - as if she hadn't thought he was dead until that moment - before he collapsed into a chair, head in his hands and knee bouncing with anxiety.
Hours passed, Robin had curled herself up in a chair next to Claudia and was leaning into her side. Jim had moved to sit on the other side of Robin and surprisingly she reached out and held his hand.
After ages of sitting there in silence a doctor walked through the doors. Claudia recognized her immediately and knew that she had been lucky to find Steve alive if she had been called in. Dr. Graham was one of the only wound specialists they had at the hospital and she focused on the worst cases.
Claudia straightened in her seat, her two companions also coming to attention as Dr. Graham came to sit with them.
"Hello, Claudia. I'm sorry you had to come in on your day off but you got very lucky. If you hadn't brought him in today he may have gone into sepsis. Thankfully he has you listed as his emergency contact so I can fill you in on everything. I want to start by saying that he is currently stable and on heavy medication. He had multiple heavily infected wounds, primarily on his abdomen but there was also apparent road rash across the back of his arms and upper back. We were able to debride the wounds from the rash relatively easily but his abdomen was more difficult. The bandage he had been using was extremely dirty and not made for wound coverage so many fibers had been imbedded into the open wounds. Luckily there had been little necrotizing fasciitis but there was enough that we had to remove the dead tissue. I do want to make sure you understand that he was very seriously injured and delayed treatment made it worse. We are going to test the pus we collected for different bacteria to narrow down the treatment for him but I'm thinking it may be leptospirosis, since he is visibly jaundiced and the injures are obviously animal bites. We have him sedated currently and on heavy antibiotics in the ICU. If you wear protective gear you can visit him for a little bit, but only people on his emergency contact list can come."
Claudia's head was spinning, she was hearing the words being said and she was following the doctor down the hall to the ICU. She was putting paper scrubs on over her clothes and donning a mask and gloves, but it was all in a daze. She needed to see Steve, she needed to see him breathing, then she would be okay.
She was not okay.
Seeing Steve only made her collapse into a chair in tears. He looked so small in the hospital bed, wrapped in wires and tubes. But he was breathing. Robin collapsed onto the foot of his bed and bent over his shins while she sobbed and Jim stumbled into the wall by the door with a hand over his eyes as his shoulders shook with silent anguish. They knew he wasn't out of the woods yet, but he was breathing and he had to be okay.
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Alright that was part one, I'm working on the next half but wow that ended up being really long
Taglist
@maya-custodios-dionach @ape31 @eldtritchlizardblast @y4r3luv @devondespresso @zerokrox-blog @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @estrellami-1 @jonesn4coffee @whatexactlyismyhoohah @lingeringmirth @my-hyperfixations-hell-blog @spectrum-spectre @steddieasitgoes @puppy-steve @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @nburkhardt @sllooney @princessstevemunson @yellowdevilkitten @emchant3d @steddie-island @afewproblems
#steddie#it will be happening in the next part just not yet#stranger things#steve harrington#platonic stobin#robin buckley#claudia henderson#parental jim hopper#i just tagged a bunch of people who responded to the last post lmao#this was so interesting to write because i am such a fucking nerd that I spent like 5 minutes searching for common bacterial infections#specifically from animal bites#please enjoy my word vomit of emotional unloading#my period gave me the motivation to do this
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Coffee
Follow-up to L-Corp, Chill, and Scotch (Lena's POV), Catco and Family (Kara's POV), Kara and Heat, Plumerias and Ink and Aura
This is objectively the worst coffee Kara has ever had in her life. No amount of sugar or milk saves it, yet it's the only coffee available in the hospital.
She takes another sip, grimaces, and considers just tossing it down the sink. Caffeine doesn't actually affect her, so her drinking it is mostly for comfort.
She waits in a small room by the surgery center, where doctors worked to repair the complication to Lena's condition. It's a name that Kara can't quite pronounce, Endocarditis, an infection in the heart. She thinks back through the last week and three days.
***
When Lena's blood culture tests, echocardiogram, CT and X-rays all came back positive for the infection, she is admitted to the hospital for supervision of a heavy round of antibiotics.
Kara sets up a schedule with Sam and Kelly for daily visits. Kelly can't do everyday, but she does the late morning. Kara goes for the afternoon, while Sam and sometimes Ruby covers evenings. Lena speaks sparingly, sleeps a lot, but seems to appreciate each visit.
Kara learns the name of Lena's nurses and technicians, but they seem to change shifts a lot, so she's not certain which ones will be there on which days. The technicians seem to be the ones that deal with hygiene tasks, while nurses deal more with the health portions like IV stuff, procedures, and medicines.
Lena's given the best suite in the department, and supposedly the best cooks. Kara judges the food harshly -- they call that the best? It doesn't even smell like food!
Lena, for some reason, finds Kara's reaction to hospital food hilarious. On Day 3 of Lena's Hospital Stay, Lena chuckles at Kara's latest horror at her food choices. "Darling," she says, which is a thing she started up in the hospital too -- pet names, "this is indeed the best in hospital fare." She had soup in front of her, broth heavy, and small kale-based salad.
Just the smell of kale insults Kara's senses. The menu the workers bring Lena -- they have a person specifically for food, just as they have nurses, nurse techs, and others that Kara totally forgot what their roles are -- is horrifically sparse on entrees and side dishes. Even the desserts are terrible. No donuts or ice cream! Just some weird fruit flavored ice pop.
"How do people survive?" Kara asks. "The portions are so small, and no variety! It's like a food desert."
"Mmmm. I suppose it is for you." Lena raises an eyebrow. "Which I have wondered... is your ferocious appetite part of your particular physiology?"
Lena-speak for if it's due to Kara being Kryptonian. "Yeah, it is. I need almost three times the calories of a human." Kara rubs her neck and smiles sheepishly.
"Wait, what? Do you even get enough in a day?" Lena's eyebrows scrunch cutely like it does when she's furiously pondering a subject.
"Not always," Kara admits. "There's some Earth food that I can't digest. Found that out the hard way my first few years here." She pokes the wet tea bag that sits in the corner of the tray. Despite steeping it for five minutes, Lena admits it's still rather tasteless tea.
"Kara..." Lena touches the back of Kara's hand. Another first since their fight, since well before Lex's death actually. Before Lex, the physical affection between them had been slowly ramping up, but after him, Lena's frosty demeanor and avoidance made even sitting near one another difficult.
Now she touches Kara tentatively but with a firmness, as if she's making sure Kara can really feel the touch. Another new thing between them and one Kara appreciates.
"What if I draft a powder for you? You can put it in your sickening sweet drinks to add in more calories."
"Really? You'd make that?" Kara blinks back the urge to cry. "I don't deserve..."
"Stop." Lena grasps her hand and rubs her thumb over Kara's palm. It tingles almost. "No more of that while I'm here. You and Sam have pressed upon me how important food and health is. So that means I can't sit idly knowing you may not get enough in a day." Her firm tone invokes no room for argument, but Kara has no idea what to say in response. So she only smiles and holds Lena's hand gingerly.
Lena has always been perceptive of Kara's needs, and she's tried to do the same. So it really shouldn't surprise Kara that Lena has ideas for how to draft this powder by day three of her hospital stay. Sam, on her way out, whispers to Kara how Lena has been nonstop pondering it, and she had to steal Lena's tablet twice to enforce rest the prior night.
Honestly, this is why she takes the longer shifts in the afternoon, to make sure Lena has everything she needs for this hospital stay. It's the least she can do to continue her repair and make sure Lena doesn't ever feel she has to face anything alone again.
Her time here has given Kara a shock as to how many people don't have visitors. That too becomes a conversation between her and Lena, this time on the fourth day of Lena's stay.
"There's this really nice old lady three rooms down from you. She had some sort of big heart surgery, but like no one visited her for a week! A week, Lena!" Kara throws her hands into the air in horror.
Lena smiles, her gaze focused intently on Kara. That too is a new development.
Before Lex, Lena tended to focus her attention on whoever the speaker is, but for Kara, she'd sometimes bite her bottom lip, smile softly, or step much, much closer than she would for other people. The singular focus often had Kara blushing.
After Lex, Lena avoided eye contact. At least until their talk at the gazebo.
Now Lena gazes at her with a singular focus, one so intent that she misses when anyone enters the room. Her entire body language shifts too, far more than in the past, as if she's listening not just with her ears but with her whole body. It's a trifle overwhelming, especially with how gorgeous Lena is, even when ill and in a pastel-blue hospital gown.
"I take it you did something about this tragedy?" Lena drawls, a hint of a smile on her lips.
"Well, yes. I couldn't just let her be sad and alone. So..." Kara leans closer and whispers, "Don't tell Alex, but I sort of hid in the bathroom and got out the supersuit, and had Supergirl visit her."
"Kara!" Lena laughs and weakly swats her arm. "That's what that commotion was."
Kara smiles. "Well, what can I say?" she shrugs. "Everyone loves and knows Supergirl."
That's when the Look started. Lena's expression softened, her gaze even more intent, but her smile almost shy. Kara can't recall Lena ever looking at her quite this way prior, and it warms her in a way that Kara can't quite pinpoint yet.
"I prefer Kara." The words punctuated with a firm nod as if Lena will fight anyone who disagrees.
Kara once again finds herself blinking back tears. "Really?"
"Yes. You'll always be just Kara to me."
That definitely invokes tears. "You might be the first to ever say that." She rubs her face, horrified by her own tears. "Everyone always treats me differently once they learn, and then it's all about... about you know."
"Were you afraid I'd do the same?"
Kara nods, miserable. It's why she stressed it so much in her apology at the Pulitzer's, how that fear had made her such a horrendous coward. "Yeah, I'm sorry."
Lena is silent for a long moment, that scrunch in her brows signalling her thinking. "I suppose I have treated you differently since I learned, but it was... out of hurt. Not because of your alternate identity per se."
"That's not the same," Kara insists. "Even then, you focused on me as Kara. Like even Nia, once she knew, I became her mentor, and sometimes that drives almost all of our friendship these days. And I get it. Kara Danvers isn't as cool."
Lena shakes her head. "I think Kara Danvers is cool just as she is. I have since the start." A faint smile twitches her lips.
On Day five, Kara is late for her shift due to a Supergirl emergency, this time a rampaging dinosaur. Some sort of animatronic turned into a real creature somehow.
Kelly has already left, and Lena lays quietly in bed, her tablet face-up in her lap. This is the first time Kara stopped to nab a coffee from the cafeteria, mostly to help her calm down from the fight.
"Hey Lena." Kara drops into the chair next to her bed. "How are you feeling today?" She takes a sip and stares at the coffee in horror. "Wow, this is terrible."
"Hospital coffee always is, hun," Lena murmurs. Her hands are restless against her blanket, and her brow scrunched as if she's been deep in thought. "Are -- are you okay?" Her eyes rove over Kara with an intensity that makes her blush. "I -- I saw the news."
Oh. That explains the nervousness in Lena's demeanor. "I'm fine." Kara smiles.
She listens to the rest of the department, but no one is near Lena's room, the nurses and techs are on opposite ends of the hallway or chatting at their desk six doors away.
So safe enough to share. "It looked worse than it was. Alex wants me to take it easy though. So I don't solar flare."
Lena tilts her head. "Explain? I hear the term off and on, but how does it work physiology-wise?"
"Oh." Kara taps her fingers against her leg. "My cells suck up solar energy and stores them. It's what gives me my powers, but I can deplete them over time. Usually time in the sun replenishes them, so I never fully deplete, but sometimes, on cloudy days or at night, I can use up all my reserves. That's a solar flare."
"So then no powers?"
Kara nods. "Yeah. Which means I have to be extra careful since I can sometimes break a bone without meaning to. I have to be so careful with my strength, that losing it means I will think I'm careful --"
"But you overcompensate?"
Kara nods. "Gosh, it feels so good to share this with you." She attempts another sip of the coffee and almost gags.
"Mmmm. Yes. I prefer this." Lena's tone holds no bitterness this time however. "Though I think you should give up on that coffee. Before you die from gagging."
Kara chuckles. "Yeah, I guess." She looks down at the brown liquid.
Tears prick her eyes, and she wonders how long Lena will have to stay here. It scares her to see Lena here, to see her so pale and weak, with IV and fluids, with the blood pressure cuff on her arm and her finger in the oxy-meter. A machine takes her vitals every fifteen minutes, the noise grating to Kara's ears.
"Kara, darling, how about you read the next chapter?" Lena holds out her book. As always, Lena knows when they both need the distraction. Kara takes the book and prepares her best reading voice, the one Lena seems delighted to hear. Giving a different voice to each character is part of that, which feels silly but it brings a smile to Lena's face, and that's something Kara desperately wants to keep doing.
When Lena falls asleep an hour later, Kara scoots closer and gently pushes a lock of hair away from Lena's face. Her fingers linger by Lena's ear, and that urge to kiss her forehead overwhelms Kara.
She can't help herself. She lets her lips ghost over Lena's cold skin.
That's when the current nurse - Quincey - walks in to check on Lena's vitals and change her IV bag. She smiles at Kara and gives her a wink when Kara hurriedly sits down as if caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
Before Nurse Quincey leaves, Kara stands and catches her at the door. "Um, do you know how much longer Lena has to stay?"
The nurse glances at the hospital bed, where Lena sleeps soundly. "It depends on how well she takes to the antibiotics. The doctor will see her tomorrow to check her progress if you want to save your questions for then." She gives Kara a reassuring smile. "And don't worry, we'll take good care of your partner."
Before Kara can protest the term, the nurse sweeps out of the room.
Well, that's just, something.
Kara sits down and downs the terrible coffee before its smell can assault her nose. She needs something after that, because if Lena hears a nurse call Kara that, what will she do? Kara doesn't want Lena to get upset and stress her heart.
After that day, Kara becomes far too intimate with the absolutely terrible coffee and food the hospital serves. Lena isn't allowed caffeine, so she's ends up with just decaffeinated tea or various juices.
"I'm convinced they source the worst tea imaginable," Lena admits to Kara the fifth day of her stay in the hospital. The bed is tilted so Lena can sit upright, and a tray hangs over her lap. The food, as usual, looks incredibly sad to Kara. In fact, it makes her want to rush out to find Lena real food.
But she's not sure if that's allowed. "I'd get you better tea, but I probably would need to sneak it in."
"Resorting to tea smuggling?" Lena jokes, dryly. "Kara Zor El Danvers, I'm scandalized."
To hear her full name uttered from Lena's lips? Kara can't help but smile. "Oh, I smuggle a lot of delicious things. Like potstickers in a theater."
That nets her a full-throat chuckle. Almost like old times. The pain or distrust in Lena's eyes hasn't fully left her, but she has started laughing more often to Kara's horrible jokes.
"Oh, that reminds me. Brainy and J'onn had to move my mind-healing session to today. So I need to leave fifteen minutes early. Mostly because J'onn only has an hour, and it takes about ten minutes for Brainy to set up the tech."
"The tech? As in what we used to find Sam during the worldkillers?" Lena asks.
"Yeah, that. I'm naturally resistant to telepathy, so J'onn can't do mind-healing work without Brainy's tech getting us all in one place in my mind."
"When did you start this?" Lena tilts her head, confused. "And why?"
"Um, well, a few weeks ago. I told you I want to repair us. To be better. That means dealing with my trauma too. I don't ever want my trauma to hurt you again." Kara looks down at her hands, embarrassed. "But Kryptonian mind-healers are few and far between on Argo, and I trust J'onn. He was trained by his father, and he understands what it's like to lose your people."
"Oh." Lena looks surprised, but then her expression softens, and she gives Kara the Look. Gently, she reaches out to grasp Kara's hand, and tugs lightly until Kara scoots her chair closer. Lena holds her hand over her heart. "Sam mentioned you'd gone to therapy, but I take it mind-healing is not the same?"
"Yeah, it's a little different" Kara says. "Mind-healing is... more intense? We refile the traumatic memories, and go through the emotions to process them. It's more visceral?"
"Huh." Lena rubs her thumb against the back of Kara's hand. That's another development. Since her hospitalization, she's been a lot more touchy-feely, as if she uses the touch to ground herself. Which Kara can understand considering how scary the hospital can be at times.
"I can... talk about it sometime if you'd like?" Kara says, hesitantly. It's a bit more of her alien nature than she's ever dared share with Lena prior.
"I'd like that." Lena smiles and the Look continues, this time with neither of them speaking. It's not uncomfortable, but it leaves Kara confused since Lena is definitely starting to stare, as if she's trying to memorize Kara's features.
"Um, do I have something on my face?" Kara pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, nervously.
"Mmmmm. Just glasses." Lena plays with her hand but doesn't look away. This is one of those moments where Kara desperately wants to know what Lena is thinking, but she's too afraid to ask.
So she leans against the bed and lets Lena stare as much as she wants. If it helps her recover, then Kara will try not to blush the entire time. (She's unsuccessful).
When Nurse Quincey enters to swap IV bags and check over Lena, Kara starts to pull away, but Lena's grip tightens on her hand. She doesn't want to hurt her, so she lets Lena keep her hand.
The nurse glances at their hands with a smile. "So, how are you feeling, Lena?" Nurse Quincey winks at Lena. "I see your partner is here again."
"Mmm." To Kara's shock, Lena doesn't dispute the claim nor protest it. "It's her penance. She must endure the horrible coffee and food in return for my company."
Nurse Quincey laughs. "Some penance. That coffee is terrible."
Kara makes a 'bleh' face in agreement, which causes both the nurse and Lena to chuckle.
"How long have you two been together?" Nurse Quincey asks. She works efficiently, the new bag looking the same, but with a tilt of Kara's glasses, she can see the minerals and electrolytes swirling in it.
"Mmm. Awhile," Lena says vaguely.
"That's right," the nurse says with a laugh. "You're terribly private, until it's the middle of the night. Then all your tales spill out." She glances at Kara. "She like this for you too?"
Kara isn't sure if she should nod or not. Does Lena talk to the nurses about her? The casual friendliness catches her off guard, and she looks between them, confused.
Lena's face and neck reddens. "In my defense, you're a good listener unlike some people I know."
"Hey, what am I then?" Kara says in faux outrage. "Cold turkey?"
"I don't believe that's how the saying goes, darling," Lena drawls.
The nurse turns to the marker board to record the vitals. "You two are cute." She caps the marker. "The doctor will be in soon. We'll need to do another echocardiogram and X-ray."
Lena's smile fades and she sighs. "All right. May Kara stay for this?"
"Sure. It can be helpful I think, since partners sometimes think of questions you might miss." Nurse Quincey adjusts the IV tubes and checks the cuffs. "I know it can be overwhelming to be here. So don't push yourself to think of everything, Lena."
"Hard habit to break," Lena admits. "But I'm learning." She squeezes Kara's hand hard enough for it to tingle. "This one helps."
The nurse smiles again. "Good. Let me know if you need anything or if the pain worsens, okay?" She moves the bed controls closer to Lena's left hand.
After she leaves, Kara looks at Lena, confused. She wants to ask why Lena played along with the partner-stuff, but then Lena gives her the Look, and all words evaporate from her brain.
There's an intensity that almost burns the air between them, and Lena holds Kara's hand over her heart. As if to push Kara's warmth into it, which if Kara could she would.
"Lena?" Kara licks her lips, and struggles to keep her eyes away from Lena's chest or lips. That's always been difficult for her, but under the energizing Look, she finds it even more difficult.
"They all call you that," Lena says, softly.
"Um..." Words. Kara can use them, but she can't form the sentence in her head, so her words tumble in a bumbling confusion. "I mean, I like it but i thought, i mean, i don't know, i guess..."
Lena lifts her finger and presses it to Kara's lips. It takes all of Kara's willpower to not lick Lena's finger.
"I'm in the hospital, Kara, with a heart infection that would have killed me if you and Sam hadn't stepped in." Her hand drops to where she has Kara's hand still pressed against her heart. Which means Kara can feel the top of Lena's breast through her gown, which is definitely making it very hard to think of words to say. "You keep saving my life. That means something."
"Yeah." Kara licks her lips. She takes a steadying breath and tries very hard to not rub her thumb over the top of Lena's breast. She's doesn't want to make Lena uncomfortable, but she also doesn't want Lena to move her hand away. "I always will."
Lena smiles. "I know."
Neither of them speak of it again, and although Kara still doesn't understand why Lena doesn't correct anyone about the title 'partner,' she decides it must be a sign that something has healed between them.
Perhaps there is hope for them after-all.
***
When the doctor reviews the echocardiogram, X-ray, EKG, and bloog work, Kara sits with Lena, where Lena holds Kara's hand in a death grip even though her expression is neutral.
"Do you have an estimate at all?" Kara tries to keep the sharpness from her tone, but from the squeeze of Lena's hand, she knows she's been unsuccessful.
"Endocarditis isn't easily predictable," the doctor says, gently. "Generally the antibiotics should clear it out, but sometimes surgery is required to clean and repair the valves. It's best she stays here as we continue the regimen. In three days we'll do a check-up."
"Surely she won't need surgery, right?" Kara does not like the sound of that at all.
"I can't rule it out as a possibility. Not at this point." The doctor glances at Lena. "You did state that you wished for us to use the best techniques possible for this infection."
"I did," Lena agrees. "And I understand. Thank you, Doctor."
She gives them both a sad smile. "I know these news aren't what you hoped. But there has been progress. We've made a dent, and that's important to celebrate." She pats Kara's shoulder.
The doctor's words leaves her in a state of increasing worry.
So those three days, Kara does everything she can to not panic. Lena needs her support, not her panic and worry. So she leaves that to her talks with Alex in the evenings.
"I'm sure she'll get through this and be back to her normal self soon," Alex tells her. She's taken to checking on Kara each evening, and if she can't due to some obligation, she sends Nia or J'onn or Brainy. Anything to help Kara cope.
Or if Kara isn't up for speaking, she texts with Sam and Kelly, both of whom have taken to the group chat with their own worries and encouragement for what Sam calls "Lena's Cheerleader Team."
Kelly: Lena is remarkably calm about all of this. I suspect she isn't sharing her true emotions.
Sam: Hun, she never does. Plays it close to her vest. But I know she's scared to death.
Kara: How do you all stay calm?! I feel like the panic is pouring out of me, and I just want to hold her close and fix this somehow, but I can't. It's maddening.
Kelly: Meditation for me.
Sam: Eh, I've seen Lena survive all sorts of near-death experiences. I'm positive she'll just roll through this one after scaring the shit out of all of us, and be back to her old self in no time.
Kara: Oh gosh, I feel like I'm having to save her several times a year. I panic almost every time. At least with those we rescue her in time, and she's not hurt. But this is so long and terrifying.
Sam: You ever had a loved one be ill for this long, Kara?
Kara: Well, Alex sometimes got ill from the flu, but no, not hospital-level. And even Lena's numerous near-death experiences never warranted longer than a few hours in the emergency department.
Kelly: Wait, what? What do you mean numerous near-death experiences??
Sam: When she jokes about quarterly assassination attempts, it's not actually a joke. It used to be that frequent. Her actions to help save the world has lessened it some lately, but it's still far more frequent than my poor heart can bear.
Kara: Keeping Lena alive is part of my job.
Kelly: Maybe I should be asking her if she'd like a recommendation to a therapy then.
Sam: If you can convince her to go and not give up after session two, I'll call you a miracle worker.
Sam: Kara, us humans are prone to illness. I suggest taking time to do something unrelated to Lena or hospitals. Do not burn yourself out on this. Lena needs us, so that means we all must take care of ourselves too. Get me?
Kara: Yes, mother. :)
Kelly: Good speech, Sam.
Sam: What I'm good at. Dad jokes and speeches.
***
Kara has a Supergirl emergency the day Lena has to retake the blood tests and other procedures. They almost have the alien with the projector, and Kara nearly solar flares in her fight with him. They capture him, and she flies to the hospital without so much of a word to Alex of J'onn.
Her suit deactivates at the top of the parking garage, and she tries to no use superspeed to reach Lena's room.
By the time she gets there, breathless with worry, Lena's techs have rolled her bed back into place. Lena lays quiet, her breaths belabored, and a sheen of sweet on her forehead. A tech wipes her face for her and nods to Kara, who nearly trips over herself to reach Lena's side.
"How -- how did it go?"
"Just took the tests." Lena sounds breathless still. "You had an emergency? You're late." She doesn't sound upset, just concerned. She holds out her hand, and Kara gingerly takes it.
"Yeah, I came as soon as I could. I'm sorry I'm late."
Lena smiles, and she gives Kara the Look again. This time with the techs there to witness. The longer she stays in the hospital, the more blatant Lena becomes with her stares at Kara and the increasing affectionate touches.
"The doctor will be by in an hour or so, once we have the results," a tech says. "Let us know if you need anything." He places the remote by Lena's hand.
Lena nods at him, but quickly returns her gaze to Kara's.
Silence stretches between them. This one feels charged in ways that confuse Kara. The longer the stay, the more intense Lena becomes, as if she's unveiling more of her heart each day.
It shouldn't worry Kara. She should be elated, but it feels too much, too soon. She doesn't want Lena to feel pressured to do anything, and she's afraid that this is all temporary. That once Lena leaves the hospital, everything will go back to how things were in their gazebo talk.
Kara's not sure how to deal if that happens. She's starting to covet Lena's Look and increasingly affectionate touches.
"Kara," Lena starts to say, but trails off.
"Yeah?"
"Stay longer today, please."
"What of Sam?" Kara tries not to take too much of Sam's shift. She knows how important that friendship is to Lena.
"She'll understand."
"Okay." Kara will do anything for Lena. That earns her one of Lena's soft, shy smiles.
When the doctor speaks to them, it's after almost two hours of waiting, most of it Lena dozes, her arms around Kara's right arm, which makes it hard for Kara to do much but lean against the hospital bed's railing while she messes with a game on her phone one-handed.
Doctor Singh has already gone through the scans and answered all of Lena's very detailed questions. Kara's questions focuses solely on how long Lena must stay and the next stage of treatment.
"Surgery," the doctor says firmly. "We noticed a complication that we need to address as soon as possible."
"Surgery?" Kara repeats horrified. "But… surely she won't need that?"
Again, her willpower is severely tested. Panic twists her gut, and she tries to not let it show. Lena looks so frail and tired, her questions keen but her voice soft. She hasn't released Kara's hand since her return to the room after the tests. Kara can feel the tremor in Lena's hand muscles, which also worries her.
Worrying for Lena's health has been so constant that this spike in worry feels like a she's been dunked in a sand pit, sputtering for air. She wants to see Lena well, and the doctor's words aren't helping calm the rising inferno in Kara's chest.
"She will," the doctor says firmly. "I understand it can be scary as her partner. But she'll be in good care, and her survival-ability is quite high."
Survival-ability? Golly, how is Kara supposed to feel better with that word? It sounds like a word that beats one up in a dark alley and leaves one for dead. Not a good word. Not at all.
So the last bit of the Doctor's time Kara barely hears. It's after the Doctor has left that Kara finally finds words. "You're so calm about this, Lena! How?"
"Because I know you'll show all the emotions for me," Lena lightly teases.
"Lena..." Kara frowns. "This is your health."
"I know." Lena shifts against her pillows and holds Kara's hand close to heart again. "I am scared," she says, softly. "It's hard to not be, but I know now I'm not alone in this. You, Sam, and Kelly have made sure of that." She gestures to her side table. "And the cards from everyone else has been far more than I deserve. Especially after what I did to you."
"You were hurting," Kara says. "I forgave you ages ago."
"You're a much better person than me," Lena says, ruefully. "I've hurt far more than just you with that sale to Andrea. Nia, especially, I don't understand why she seems determined to write me daily."
"She thinks the world of you, Lena. And yeah, Andrea is not a good boss, but with your hospitalization? She's been a lot kinder to us. I thought I'd have to fight harder to get the time to visit you daily, but Andrea just said, 'Go be who I couldn't, Kara. I'll mark you down for half time until she's well.'"
Lena blinks in surprise. "She -- she said that?"
Kara nods. "Yeah. It's made both Nia and I look at her in a different light. Now we're wondering how much of her prickly behavior is trauma-based."
"Huh." Lena looks at the ceiling, her forehead crunched in thought. "I -- I didn't think she still cared. Her betrayal still hurts today."
Kara brushes a lock of Lena's hair from her face, and her fingers linger against her cheek. She can't help it. "I think she regrets whatever she did. But you are under no obligation to forgive her or do anything with that. Your health and well-being comes first."
Lena lifts her other hand and presses Kara's hand against her cheek. The Look is out in force, and it leaves Kara temporarily breathless. "As you and Sam are teaching me," Lena murmurs. "Kara..."
"Yeah?" The words comes out breathless. The worry simmers like oil atop the deep waters of love she has for Lena. She wants to just blurt out her love, but she's not sure if it's appropriate. So far, she's going by what Lena needs.
"I know this has been hard for you," Lena whispers. "But your presence means a lot to me. You didn't need to do this. You could have just... walked away."
"Never." Kara leans toward her, her tone fervent. "I'll never walk away..." she realizes the implication there and blushes. "I mean unless you directly tell me to get lost. Because you know consent is important, but well, since you didn't, um, I'm staying. To repair us, to be here in whatever way you need. You're my person, Lena."
"Alex wrote I've always been your exception," Lena says, and she nibbles on her lip.
"Yeah. You are." She knows exactly what Alex refers to -- all the times Kara dropped everything to rescue Lena. Or how she defended Lena despite everyone being against her. So many fights with her sister over Lena.
Oh Rao, was she in love with Lena even then? Golly. No wonder Alex is so exasperated with her in regards to Lena.
"Why?" Lena's eyes search for something in Kara's expression.
"I told you," Kara says, gently. "I love you."
That crinkle appears again. "Friendship love or...?"
"In love. With you I mean. I'm in love." Kara's face turns pink. She thought she'd made it obvious in her first confession in the gazebo, but perhaps not.
Lena smiles, her hand still pressing Kara's hand to her cheek. For a long moment, she gazes at Kara, a slight crinkle in her brow.
"Trusting that is hard," she says, quietly. "But you've followed through on your promises since your apology. Thank you."
"Of course," Kara says. "I want to be better for you."
"Kara..." Lena's nose wrinkles so cutely. "Do it for your sake too."
"Well, yeah, but you're my priority."
Lena mulls that over, her eyes roving over Kara's face. She bites her lip and takes an unsteady breath. "Kara, I -- I love you too."
Kara breathes in sharply. She had not expected Lena to say that ever. She doesn't know what to do with it.
"It's why it all hurt so much. I've loved you so long that -- that I never thought you'd ever feel the same."
Oh Rao, 'feel the same?' Joy and fear seeps through Kara. Lena loves her. Despite everything. Yet those dark thoughts persist, the ones that insist it's the life-threatening illness and hospitalization talking. That this will disappear once Lena's well.
Perhaps that's a sort of trust too.
"Lena..." Kara can't sort out what to say.
"I never thought you'd actually hurt me," Lena continues, "I recognize now I had you on a pedestal, and that wasn't fair to you. We're both imperfect. Flawed. And love means loving one another through the hardships too."
"Yeah, I like how you put that." It feels inadequate in comparison, but Kara's brain is still caught up in the fact Lena loves her.
Lena briefly closes her eyes, still against the blankets and pillows. After several deep breaths, she turns her head to give Kara the Look again. "But if I don't recover, I -- I didn't want to die without you knowing the truth."
"Lena..." Kara blinked back tears. "You won't die."
Lena sighs. "I'd rather play it safe. Sam knows where my will is. I rewrote it again, and I included you. I wanted to make sure you, Sam, and Ruby are taken care of."
"Lena, please, don't." Kara can't handle this. "You're going to be okay. You have to be."
Lena smiles and turns her head to press a kiss to Kara's palm. "Okay. I'll be fine then."
"Exactly." Kara sniffed and knew she was crying, but she didn't care. This was Lena. "And I'll be there for when you exit Surgery, and you'll be released in no time, and we can celebrate with potstickers and a relaxing movie. And Ruby and Sam can make popcorn, and soon you're strength will be back, and you'll be inventing and changing the world again. I'll be right there with you. You aren't alone. Not anymore, not ever."
"Okay." Lena pats the bed next to her. "Hold me please. At least until it's time."
Kara carefully settles herself on her side next to Lena, away from her IV. She wraps her arms around Lena and holds her tenderly.
***
Kara sips her coffee, wrinkles her nose.
Rao, this coffee smells horrendous. She puts it down on the table and fiddles with the magazines on display. Most are gossip rags, though Catco and its competitor are included in the pile along with a medical magazine.
Her phone vibrates, and she pulls it out desperate for any distractions.
Sam: I'm on my way. Is she still in surgery?
Kara: Yeah. I feel like I'm losing my mind waiting. What if she doesn't make it? what if something goes wrong?
Sam: What's the easiest buildling to lift?
Er... what? Kara scratches her head, confused at the sudden change in topic. She decides to roll with it because Sam always has a point to her weirdness.
Kara: :thinking face: uhhh, mobile home?
Sam: A lighthouse.
That startles her into a laugh. Oh Rao, that was good. Lighthouse.
Sam: How do you know when a comedian passes gas?
Kara: when something smells funny?
Sam: Beat me to the punchline.
Tears sting Kara's eyes. She knows Sam's distracting her with bad jokes, and it's sort of working. No wonder Lena likes her so much.
"Ms. Danvers?" It's one of the nurses from the Surgical suite.
"Yes?" She pockets her phone and stands. "How is she?"
The nurse smiles. "She's in recovery now. The surgery went perfectly. Once she wakes, we'll bring her to you."
Relief floods Kara. She doesn't even realize she's crying until the nurse steps forward with a box of Kleenex. "Thanks."
The nurse pats her shoulder. "Take your time. I'll ask the doctor if we can let you into the recovery section, okay?"
"Yes, please. Thank you." Kara dabs her eyes.
Oh gosh, Lena is alive. She's going to be okay.
#supercorp#lena luthor#kara danvers#supergirl#supercorptober#supercorp fic#karlena#supergirl fanfiction#supercorptober2024#kara x lena#sam arias#Kelly olsen#I based the hospital stay on the last time I was in the hospital#so the food and tea and coffee mentions are pretty typical for every hospital I've been in -- even the rich ones#The tests Lena has to deal with are common ones for heart infections and the treatment I describe here is what is recommended#I personally find nurse technicians to be more personable than nurses and they are the ones that help with hygiene and bathroom stuff
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Love that one post going around that says that if you're over 25 and you still have your tonsils you should go get them removed. no the fuck you shouldn't. What the hell are you talking about? I love misinformation.
#getting your tonsils removed isn't even as common for outright infections these days let alone *checks the post*#occasional tonsil stones??? seriously???
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I wonder what percentage of omegaverse inhabitants died of claim bite infections before antibiotics were invented
Do you think people disinfected them with alcohol? Were there superstitions about what to rub on a bite for an auspicious mating?
#this is assuming they break the skin but that seems pretty common in omegaverses#human-on-human bites are incredibly prone to infection!#omegaverse#is there a tag for omegaverse meta/scholarship? There should be.#fish.txt
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Micrococcus luteus
“Micrococcus luteus (Fleming strain) colonies on LB plate.” - via Wikimedia Commons
#micrococcus luteus#microbiology#bacteria#bacterial colonies#microbio#medical microbiology#opportunistic infection#commensal bacteria#opportunistic pathogens#science#biology#bacteriology#petri dish#petri plate#culture plate#bacterial culture#bacterial growth#wikipedia#wikipedia pictures#wikimedia commons#nature#disease#infectious diseases#fleming strain#lb plate
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Is it not commonly believed that Xero is a moth? I'm just realizing this now. I always assumed he was. I mean he has more in common (appearance-wise) to the Radiance than any other character. the wings, legs..
Not the fluff but he is clearly heavily armored. And Markoth (also moth) wears a similar headpiece/helmet?
Also he fights in a similar style to both Markoth and Radiance. Using multiple nails and thrusting them at his opponent.
#Also since we know he was infected at the time of the assassination attempt#I think it makes a lot of sense that the radiance would want to use a moth as her vessel for killing the PK#Anyway I'm asking because I've seen lots of fannart of all the moth characters together that don't include him#So I'm assuming this isn't a common hc?#I just#always assumed that he was#HK thoughts
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“You said the mountains were safe.”
Living atop mountains free from the influence of flesh, the worverns nest and collect whatever patches of grasses they can find to build their dens.
Due to their thicker skin layers, their bodies can endure the cold with ease. Occasionally they’ll venture down from the mountains and hunt in the infection zones, consuming all that they can to build up reserves before heading back for their nests. On the way collecting scraps and whatever Cals monsters they can find to heat their eggs and future young.
Despite their wings, these heavy worms fail to properly fly or glide. Often they just throw themselves from peaks, crushing their own bodies beneath the mountains rough and rocky terrain. Due to this and despite their thicker skin, it’s often tattered and scarred. 
However, despite the risk to themselves, the worms have adapted their jumps and falls into a hunting strategy. Often ambushing prey from above and either killing them from the sheer force of the drop or their weight.
But even if the worm misses it’s mark, it’s no stranger to giving chase. Their wings may be useless for flight and gliding, but with their strength they are more than capable of crawling and giving chase around the mountain terrain.
#art#my art#infection world#infection zone#monster#creature#doodles#sketches#doodle#worm#worms#monster design#info#general#general monster#general monsters#common monster#common monsters#creature design#traditional art#woyrms#woyrm
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“Don’t work in the veterinary field bc it’s emotionally draining”, “don’t work in the veterinary field bc it’s physically taxing”. NO!!! Don’t work in the veterinary field bc Joe Schmoe is going to ask you for medical advice on an animal that desperately needs a vet
#my coworker at my part time job sent me a picture of her cat’s huge infected wound on its neck and goes ‘what do you think I should do?’#UM!? hello!? go to a vet#I try to give ppl a lot of credit or whatever but come on lady. this is just common sense#my post#not pets
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Abstract:
Full article here
#long covid#covid is more akin to hiv than the common cold#as a virus#it affects the nervous system and cardiovascular#and respiratory#and muskoskeletal#it remains in your system years after the initial infection#with cumulative negative effects#and research keeps showing just how devastating the true effects of Covid are#but ppl wanna say it’s just a cold and political mandates are banning masks#????????#how dumb do you have to be#covid 19#covid#covid isn't over#not 1d#public health#turning medicine and health into a political game has done indescribable harm and continues to do so
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A nice/helpful comment? On MY popular post? It's (apparently) more likely than I think
#i grew very tired very quickly of all the people replying to that yeast infection post#with different variations of 'getting yeast infections isnt normal'#so ive been just tuning those comments out and ignoring them for a while#but someone just replied to one of those comments saying essentially#'wdym? yeast infections are normal and very common [cited statistics] and its important that we talk about them to normalize it'#and like YES!! THANK YOU!! thats what the post is ABOUT and ive been banging my head against the wall for ages#i want to give this person a medal. i need to fax them a greeting card that says 'thank you for being normal on my post'#ive had so many condescending/misunderstanding/just plain wrong comments on that post that im genuinely surprised by this#not sure if replying to their reply to thank them for saying what ive been thinking this whole time would be weird ahdjsksl#rambling#update: TWO good comments on my popular posts in one day (grunge/punk/emo/goth one i just reblogged)#is there something in the water or what
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Desmond: what do you do to clean the tools before you use them on people?
Healer: I throw them in dirt to get the blood off
Desmond: right…
Desmond: you washed your hands right?
Healer about to stitch his most recent wound closed: I am a man of God. I am above filth.
Desmond: you know what if I can sew my own face shut at sixteen I can do this too give me that fucking needle
Altair/Malik/Ezio/Claudia/etc, who dragged his bleeding ass here: You what
#the elf talks#assassins creed#my boy catches no breaks#Desmond became a healer out of self defense okay he is not catching god knows what and dying of an infection#or the common cold for that matter#man is not playing around with any of this shit
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I AM DONE 😭😭 Exam week is behind me, I am literally sobbing, I am exhausted beyond repair, but it is done!! Five more days of work and then I (hopefully) shall have my life back-
#I wanna draw so bad - but I also want to sleep for 14 hours straight#also I should probably really not work next week I landed myself both once at the doctors office and once at the hospital last week#when I said 'I will finish this week even if it kills me' my body was like. 👀 I can do that#but honestly that was my own stupidity also#I could take this to the educational route but let me just say if you do have an infected wound anywhere go 👏 to 👏 your 👏 doctor#that being said I have at least one exam finished with 100% (which wasn't THAT hard) and I can talk about autoimmune responses and then-#I cough and I die#academia yes but absolutely no common sense#i'm still having a fever tho#I wanna sleep till next year
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Corynebacterium ulcerans
“Corynebacterium ulcerans culture on a blood agar plate.” - via Wikimedia Commons
#wikipedia#wikipedia pictures#wikimedia commons#nature#Corynebacterium ulcerans#blood agar#c. ulcerans#microbiology#microbio#microbiologycore#germcore#germs#bacteria#bacteriology#medicine#infection#infectious diseases#diphtheroids#diphtheria#coryneform#blood#agar#petri dish#agar plate#streak plate#corynebacterium
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